#its so crazy i JUST played it for the first time like 4 months ago

[startistdoodles]

Okami fans how we feelin

[reputationolivia]

try again?

would anyone be interested in this, i thought of this plot awhile back and started working on it recently but i feel like its just gotten long and idk i feel like it might be a bit boring? so idk if anyone would be up for reading this! but i put a little snippet of it here so if anyone sees this please share your thoughts! :)

18+ minors dni

warnings: none for this one yet.

summary: you and harry dated for almost 5 years but you ended things, only problem? you got a cat together three years ago that you co-parent.

wc: 1.8k

I glanced around in search for opal as I tied the laces on my shoes. She’s always been good at hiding when she sees her crate out and ready for her, but i was ready for her today with her favorite treat in hand. "Opal, where are you baby?” I called for her. pacing through the living room I heard a faint meow coming from the kitchen, and i sighed, already knowing where she would be - the narrow gap between the counter and the fridge. I bend down and waved her treat in front of her little face to get her interested in it. “Come on out sweetie,” i coaxed, slowly her fluffy face popped out of the gap and she began licking the treat. I took this as my opportunity and gently tugged her out and scooped her up, letting her have the entire treat now as I walked over to her crate.

As I helped opal get settles into her crate I tried not to think too much about the trip ahead and what’s to come. The keys jingled in my hands as i snatched them from there small side table near the front door creating a slight sound of normalcy between all of the craziness my life has been lately. I slung my headphones around my neck, and with opal securely inside her carrier i finally stepped out into the bright, sunlit street. I caught my reflection in a car window and felt a bit ridiculous - sunglasses on, headphones dangling, and cat in tow - i shrugged it off and began my journey to the subway station.

The subway ride was pretty uneventful, at least it was at first. Opal was sitting quietly in her crate beside me as she watched the window in front of us, watching the city blur through the window. I put my headphones on and mindlessly browsed through Apple Music, i eventually decided on just playing “my station” after not being able to settle on any of my existing playlists. I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular really, i mean besides the fact that I was currently on my way to meet my ex boyfriend of 4 1/2 years. As if my phone knew what was on my mind a familiar melody began playing, i felt my body tense as i recognized it immediately, my chest tightened and the air suddenly became too thick to breathe. I reached for my phone to skip to the next song. It was his song, of course it’d be my luck that’s the song that starts playing as I’m on my way to see him again. Of course, skipping it didn’t help, the damage was done.

Moving on has been hard, actually it’s been more than hard, it’s been hell, absolutely brutal. We were together for so long, four and a half years. That’s a long time to share a life with someone, it wasn’t just the memories that lingered though - it was our plans, the dreams we shared that we’d stay up all night talking about, when the world felt ours. Marriage, kids, a beautiful house with a garden, i thought it was all within reach, that it was just a matter of time. But now? Just the sound of his voice in a song sends me spiraling. It’s only been a couple months since we broke up, and seeing him as often as I do doesn’t exactly help with the whole “moving on” thing.

But now, all we have left is opal.

Opal. Our little baby. She wasn’t quite a child, but the closest thing we had. We adopted her when she was just a baby, three months old. After we broke up neither of us could bear to part with her. we had gotten her together so in the end we decided on co-parenting opal, which isn’t ideal but at the very least she had two people who loved her, and despite our failed relationship i knew she was safe with him. Even if seeing him every time i dropped her off still hurt.

The familiar ding of the subway pulled me out of my thoughts and i realized we were at our stop. I pulled my headphones back down to the back of my neck as i stood up, then grabbed opals crate and hopped off the subway. I felt like the subway ride ended far too quickly, and before i realized it i was walking up the now somewhat familiar street towards his apartment. as i got closer and closer each step i took felt heavier than the last. It felt like i was dragging the weight of everything we left unsaid, unresolved. I tightened my grip on opals crate, her quiet purring served as a reminder that despite everything, some things hadn’t changed.

But most things had.

I wasn’t the same person who used to walk the streets of New York with him by my side, laughing at the stupidest things, talking absentmindedly about everything, and nothing at all. Yet now it feels like that was a lifetime ago when in reality it was just a few short months ago. And now here i was, walking the streets of the city we once shared, alone. Having to act normal in front of the man i loved, love but trying not to as I’m about to hand over our cat like it was just some business transaction, something normal.

Ahead i spotted him standing in front of his building. He was leaning against the wall near the doors to the lobby, looking down at his phone, a casual stance that didn’t betray any of the turmoil i was feeling. Typical harry, i thought. Always composed, always calm. I wished i could say the same for myself. I reached up with my free hand to adjust my sunglasses, hoping they hid more than just the sun from my eyes. As i approached his eyes were still glues to his phone, did he even notice i was walking up to him? Now a few feet away from him, i clear my throat in hopes of catching his attention, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.

He finally looks up, his green eyes meeting mine, and though he couldn’t see mine due to my sunglasses i swore i could see something flash in his - recognition? Annoyance? Regret? I couldn’t quite place it. Maybe I’m just imagining things. “Hey,” he said, finally pushing off the wall and sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Hey,” i replied, keeping my voice as steady as i could even though every bit of me felt like breaking and like my voice was shaking with the tension of being this close to him. We walk into the lobby and i crouch down to let opal out. Immediately, she dashed out of her crate, and toward him, brushing against him with a happy meow. I couldn’t help the slight pang of jealousy i felt at how easily she seemed to adjust to this life of back and forth we’d created for her. I wish it was that easy for me.

“It’s been a while, nice shoes by the way.” Harry said as he crouched down, scratching opal behind her ears. He didn’t look at me when. He said it, instead keeping his eyes on opal. I couldn’t tell if it was a statement or a subtle dig when he said it’s been a while. “Yeah works been a bit hectic, and thanks.” I responded as i stood there awkwardly and hugged my arms to myself. Suddenly the distance between us felt a lot larger than just a few feet.

He stood up slowly, his gaze finally meeting mine, and i just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. “How’ve you been?” He asked, for a moment i almost believed he actually wanted to know.

Good. You?”

“Same.” he said, glancing down at opal again.

The conversation stalled, i could feel the silence expanding between us, this is all we had now — awkward exchanges, empty words just to fill the space where something real used to be. I wanted so badly just to say something, anything that could break through the surface. I didn’t even know where to start, everything felt too different, too fragile and close to breaking. Opal meowed again, winding between our legs, completely oblivious to the tension hanging in the air between us.

I sighed, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “She’s been eating normally. Likes to hide under the bed more often lately but that’s probably because of all the travel recently.” Harrys eyes softened a little. “Yeah, she’s always liked her hiding spots huh.” He paused, then added, “I’ve missed her.” His words hung there, suspended in the air between us for a while and for a moment, I wasn’t sure if he was just talking about opal. I nodded at his words, something about the way he said it lingered longer than it should have, i tried to push it aside, maybe I’m just reading too much into his words. Looking down at opal again i sighed, “i’ll uh, see you later.” I mumbled, now just wanting to get out and as far away from this awkward situation as possible. I turned to walk away before he could say anything, i felt his eyes on me as i made my way towards the lobby door. His gaze was sticking with me more than i wanted it to.

As i exited the building, i felt my footsteps heavy on the ground again. I took a deep breath, taking in the fresh air and trying to clear my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the what-ifs. How i wish i could be done with all this. I couldn’t afford to keep dwelling on our past, especially not with everything going on. At least through all this change i still had my job, and im fortunate enough to really love my job. My job has always been my escape, allowing be to take a break from my real life and everything i had going on. I could create stories outside my own, i could be in control, or at the very least, i could pretend to be. But in moments like this, i was just me - and I couldn’t pretend to be anyone else. I had no script or direction, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

The months after the breakup have been such a blur, it’s like I’ve been moving on autopilot. Filming, press events, and trying to keep it together in front of the cameras. I was good at that. I’ve played so many different roles, performed rehearsed lines perfectly, but none of that could’ve prepared me for the messy reality of seeing him. Missing him.

[lunasdreamytreats]

Best kept secrets

Baizhu x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW // !PSUDO STEPFATHER/STEPDAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP! don't like, don't read // modern au // legal age-gap (Baizhu's in his late 30's, reader's in their early 20's) // drinking wine // reader calls their mother 'mama' // petnames (darling, little girl / good girl) // daddy kink (u call him it a few times and he calls himself it too) // mentions of drugs and aphrodisiacs // begging // oral (m+f receiving) // fingering // dumbification // bad writing (was still finding my writing style as i began writing and its not fully proofread)

Word count: 3.5k... (jeez i went crazy)

A/N: HBD MY LOVE 🥰 I love Baizhu sm, been planning this bad boy forever. Please enjoy and make sure to read the warnings carefully and lmk if I missed something ❤️

'How did this happen again?' You ask yourself as you accept another kiss from the man you knew as your stepfather. It feels so wrong, until you remember how your own mother is a cheating gold digger herself. Virtually your whole life up until a year ago had been on the move. Your mother would marry rich men who owned whole companies or company branches and either bankrupt them and leave or cause a scandal so they go out of business and leave. Over 19 years you’ve had a total of 10 stepfathers and you've never been really close with any of them.

As far as you know, the most recent one is the only one out of your stepfathers that has more than one source of income. He owns the only pharmacy in town while also working as a doctor. It must be taking longer to burn through it than normal, you thought, since you're still there.

You feel as if you should be grateful that your mother hasn't ruined it yet, because you've grown fond of life in this family. Your little sister Qiqi absolutely adores you as her big sister. Although your not sure if your mother knows about this, but your stepdad, Baizhu, absolutely loves being able to spend his money on you. Whenever you get off work he'll wait outside for you in the car with your favourite music ready to play. He'd drive around town with you for half an hour before going to pick Qiqi up from school. If you saw anything you wanted while driving, he'd tell you to quickly jump out and buy it with his card.

“Sweetie I don't care how much it costs if you want it I'll gladly get it for you.” Is what he'd say if you tried to protest in any way, in the end, you’ve just accepted it as him wanting to spoil you. Baizhu was very different to any of your other stepfathers, for one, he's making an effort to bond with you..... Oh and he's young, well, young compared to the others. At only 35 when they got married, he was 2 years your mother’s junior and 17 years your senior.

The 4 of you lived a fairly drama-free life up until tonight, when Baizhu came back home after dropping sweet Qiqi off at her best friend Yaoyao's house for her very first sleepover. He came in and asked you to come downstairs and sit on the couch, saying he needed to ask you about something important. You promptly closed the game you were playing and put the controller back, coming down to see Baizhu in the kitchen with a bottle of white wine and 2 glasses.

“Oh? What's the special occasion, Dad?” You asked before sitting back down with him.

“It's about your mother, (Y/N).” You froze slightly, wanting to ask him if anything bad happened to her. However, before you could speak, he placed one of the full glasses of wine into your hand.

"Do you know if she cheated on any of your other stepfathers, like any one of them?"

“Well I don't know for certain, but I've got a feeling she cheated on all of them, including my father.” You lifted the glass of wine up to the light and swirled the liquid around before continuing.

“Right when she leaves them, I found that either their companies crumbled, or they declared bankruptcy. Some less than 6 months after their wedding. It's happened way too many times to be a total coincidence.” Looking over at him, you saw a small sigh leave his lips as his eyes met yours. The low light of the lamps on the wall adjacent to him made his golden irises glow. ‘Oh fuck that's really pretty.... h-hold on a god damn second, that's your stepdad your talking about, dumbass!’ You quickly shook the thought out of your head and took a sip of wine to distract yourself.

“Why'd ya ask?”

“I saw your mother with someone and they were talking about how long until they can run off together....” You always had a feeling she had an accomplice her little scheme, but a whole ass lover all these years? Baizhu leaned forward in order to put the wine glass back on the counter and shifted to face you.

“Thank you for telling me this, my darling.” Eh why the lovey dovey language? He seems to be awfully calm for someone who just found out what a horrible person his wife is.

“Dad.... now that you've caught mama, when do you want us out of here by?”

“Hm? Why would I kick you out, darling?” Again with the darling! Is this really how fathers express their affection towards their children?

“I-I just thought since she's cheating on you, you wouldn't want her or her child arou-!” He's laughing? How? You thought he'd be annoyed. And yet here he is, not only not giving a toss about the current situation, he's laughing at it.... Why?

“Do you think I'd leave my cute, sweet little girl all alone without someone that loves her like I do? No no no darling. Besides, this is the best time to show you something that I've been planning this last year.” What could that be? You wondered. Come to think of it, from his plans for Qiqi's birthday party to things he's overheard at work, he's never kept anything a secret from you. He stood up and retrieved a piece of paper from inside a safe in the wall that he hid behind his back so you couldn't see what was written on it. As he sat back down, you managed to catch a small glimpse of the contents of the paper, you saw your signature there and what you can only assume is Baizhu's, both written in black ink next to each other at the bottom of the page.

'Oh! He must be holding the adoption papers we signed after the wedding'. You had another quick glance at the paper again before he folded it up and set it down on the table.... What?? You must be hallucinating because your pretty sure the words 'certificate of marriage' were at the top of the page. Hang on, if that's a marriage certificate, then why did you clearly see your signature next to Baizhu's?

“Did you see it, my darling?” Baizhu's words brought you back into the moment at hand, oh, that and his hand resting on your waist. The small gesture causing a shiver to shoot up your spine. “You’re my real wife. And you have been all this time.”

“How?” The reality of this situation hitting you like a boulder made your voice go hoarse, coming out like a broken cry. How was he able to hide something so big for so long? “How did I not notice it?”

“I'll be honest, I only got close to your mother so I could be with you, my darling. I knew what your mother was when I saw her, now she's the only one in the dark about it.” Baizhu's voice broke through the stifling silence around us. This is so weird, you’ve always thought your stepdad was a nice man, in personality, heart and looks. And you’ve told your friends about how you'd like your future partner to be like him. So should you go along with it?

“B-But what about the wedding night? Didn't you and mama have sex?”

“Nope, she ran off after the ceremony, I spent the night in your room.”

“W-what!? How the fuck did I not feel you?”

“Not when you've taken the deep sleep elixir I put in your food. I’d put it in whenever I knew your mother was going out for the night.”

“Oh, so that's why I hardly remember those nights.”

“Fuck, you're so cute when you don't know what to make of a situation, darling. I wonder what your reaction is going to be when I do this?” With no warning, Baizhu pulled you closer, onto his lap, and kissed your neck. The bold action made you gasp in shock. While you were distracted, he took the opportunity to catch you off guard again and kiss your lips. The kiss was just as he was, gentle and full of passion, yet demanding. Letting you know that although he’s being gentle, he’s still the one in control. He’s holding you so soft and tenderly, it makes this kiss feel like a natural part of life. Like your forgetting you two had a completely different relationship before...

That's how it came to you and your stepd- no, your husband making out in the open space of the living room. :)

'This isn't wrong. He's my husband.' You told yourself as you kissed him back. The grip his hands have on the flesh of your hips was so soft, as if he couldn't bare the thought of hurting you. Which, in a way, was true. He couldn’t bare the thought of being the reason you were in pain. As the kiss deepened, he felt more comfortable in exploring your body. His hands gently glide up your body before setting on your chest. His hands circle your body to where the dress zipper and bra clasp were.

As his arms pulled you closer, his fingers grazed the bit of exposed skin, making you shiver at the contact. Pulling away from your lips, Baizhu looked at you with love filled eyes and ran his finger over the neckline of your dress before hooking a finger on it and tugging at the fabric.

“My darling, can I?” He asked, rather breathless from the deep kiss. You could only nod in response until you find your voice. That was another way that Baizhu shows he cares, he was patient when you couldn’t get your words out. It was a thing you had struggled with for most of your life. And although it was a small gesture, it was something that mama never bothered to get right.

“Y-Yes daddy~” You managed to whisper a response, your head already felt dizzy and the neck kisses didn't help. Hearing daddy leave your mouth must’ve awakened something primal in him. With a newfound spark of lust in his eyes and a tightened grasp on you, his teeth grazed the skin of your shoulders. You reached behind your back to start unzipping your dress, only for your wrists to be pulled away and held back in one of his hands, while the other pulled the zip down slowly.

“Shhh~ darling, let daddy take care of you now.” An uncomfortable thought came into your head; ‘what if mama came back without warning to see her daughter, clothes slipping off, on her ‘stepdad’s’ lap making out with him?’ But don’t worry, Baizhu has a plan to deal with her if she comes back early. There’s no chance he’d allow this perfect moment to slip through his fingers again. After he pulled the zipper went all the way down, Baizhu started to gently draw circles on your newly exposed skin. The heat building up between your legs was getting frustrating, so you started to rub your clit on Baizhu's thigh to relieve yourself. Until he noticed and gently held your hips in place.

“Darling, I thought you’d let me take over tonight.. you know what happens to bad little girls that don't obey their daddies, don't you, darling?” Baizhu whispered, gently kissing the shell of your ear before continuing, “They. get. punished.” Taping your shoulder blade with each word. Each tap of his finger sent electrifying waves of pleasure down your whole body. You can’t help but lean into his touch, drunk on how quickly you crumbled under his teasing. One thing was for certain, however, the pleasure you felt was unreplicable.

“M'sorry daddy.. don’t punish me, I-I’ll b’good, please..!” You plead, hoping he’d be merciful on you. Since nobody can blame you for being needy. After a few minutes of drawing circles on your back, your dress and bra went flying off you, yelping when the cool air collided with your breasts. Smirking, Baizhu gave your hips a squeeze as his lips left a trail of kisses from your jawline down your chest, before latching onto the hardening nipple. Swirling around it with his tongue, he copied the motion on the other with his fingers, tugging whenever he sucked. All night, Baizhu had been focusing on giving pleasure to your most sensitive spots, like he already had a mental map of where he should focus on.

While your attention was taken up by the stimulation to your breasts, Baizhu let his free hand snake down, across your tummy to settle between your legs. One touch of his slender fingers to your puffy folds sent you jolting forward into his neck with a moan. Thing is, that one touch was only light, nothing much to most people. But to you? Mind-numbing. Actually, you don’t think you’ve ever been this sensitive to anything before.... it’s like your sensitivity to touch became enhanced. Could Baizhu have given you something to do this?

“You like that, don't you, darling? Good girl. Tell me, who’s making you feel this good?”

“Y-You daddy, s’you makin me feel good”

“Good. Fucking. Girl.” With every word, he swiped the pad of his thumb against the nub of your clit. Your hips subconsciously bucked into his hand with newfound lust. Like your body was chasing after his touch after he retracted his thumb. Baizhu's fingers ghosted over the outline of your clit, prodding at your hole. Easing the tip of his index finger inside while holding you steady. When your body relaxed, letting him know you were comfortable with him inside, Baizhu pushed you to the couch so you were laying on your back with him on top. The hand that’d been holding you steady now moved from your lower back to hold your cheek softly, catching any tears that fell over your eyes.

“Fuuck, you're clamping on me so tight.. I’ve barely even started with you, never thought a little foreplay would be all it takes to get you begging for me so soon, darling.” Don’t mind him though, he’s just being all mean and teasing you! He began slowly moving his finger in and out, slightly curving it to graze your soft inner walls. He added a second finger gently, stretching them apart in a scissor motion and continuing to touch places you couldn't dream of being able to touch on your own.

“Fuuck~ ur fingers~ s'deep!” It almost felt uncomfortable, keyword almost. The tender kisses Baizhu left along your body made any kind of discomfort you felt fade away. That is until a strange feeling came creeping into the pit of your stomach. A twisting and churning sensation like a knot threatening to make your insides explode.

“Ha~~! A-Ahh! D-Daddy, feels weird..!”

“Oh? A weird feeling, you say? That's your orgasm building up, darling.” His thumb quickly swiped against the sensitive nub of your clit, “Now be a good little girl and cum for me...” Your eyes peeped open at his words, only for stars to invade your vision as the knot came undone over his fingers and the couch. Your fucked out expression caused Baizhu to smirk in satisfaction, taking pride in being the only person to ever make you orgasm; other than yourself, of course.

“Good girl... ” Baizhu glanced down to where you both connected, taking note of how his wrist was now slightly wet... Did you squirt over him? Or was it sweat? This encounter certainly left you catching your breath.. Your body twitched sporadically as your walls finally began to relax around his fingers, and you sighed in satisfaction. Feeling you come down from your high, Baizhu gently pulled his fingers out, awestruck at your essence which was now dripping down his digits.

“Daddy... love you” You reached your hands out and Baizhu took them in his own, helping your sit up and kissing your knuckles softly.

“Love you too, darling. Cuddles?” He asked, holding his arms out so you could come to him if you wanted. You practically jumped up and slid into his lap, burying your flushed face into his shoulder. ‘Oh, you’re the type to get all cute and cuddly after sexual encounters...’ Baizhu thought, but that’s fine, he’d give all the cuddles you could ever need if you asked. You feel him gently smile on the top of your head alongside wrapping his arms around your middle.

Of course, with all that Baizhu’s done for you tonight, you couldn’t just ignore how hard this encounter made him. His dick throbbed against the cloth holding it back, simply begging for him to do something to relieve it.

“Daddy, lemme help, wanna help it..” You attempted to slip off his lap to kneel between his legs, fully prepared to help him. But he tightens his hold on your body, preventing you from moving much.

“No darling, y’can help me from here.” Baizhu reassured, moving the fabric that concealed his cock out the way. It bounced back against his abdomen, splashing a little precum over his stomach. Your eyes widened, you’ve seen dicks before, (in sex-ed class), but nothing like this. His dick was much bigger than anything you ’ve seen, and certainly bigger than you think you can take. Noticing your unease, Baizhu gently took your wrist and brought your hand to touch it.

“Lemme do it with you, darling... help me feel good too, yeah?” With one arm still holding you tightly, Baizhu’s other hand joined yours, guiding you in jerking him off. Even under two people’s grips, his dick still twitched and pulsed against your hand. Biting your lip, you lean your head down to press small kisses and kitten licks to his swollen, red tip. You looked up at him, still with his tip nestled snuggly in your mouth, eyes trying to convey what you want; for him to use your mouth like a fleshlight.

At first, poor Baizhu didn’t know what to say; he didn’t want to lose his composure and ram into you so hard that it became more uncomfortable than pleasurable, but the look in your eyes conveyed that you were actually begging him to lose it. He let out a long, shaky breath before moving the hand that had been on his cock to hold your hair out of your face. He didn’t even realise he was holding his breath...

“Tap my thigh twice if it gets too much for you, ok darling?” You nodded and began easing more of him into your mouth. He almost couldn’t think straight with just his tip in your mouth, but seeing you slightly struggle to fit him in drove his size kink mad. Baizhu’s fingers raked through your soft hair before setting at the top of your neck, taking control back from you and moving your head along his shaft.

Muffled whimpers and gags mixed with Baizhu’s groans made it easy to lose oneself in ecstasy, so you never noticed the small commotion happening on the other side of the door; never noticed the amused smile on your lover’s face upon realising the trap he and the millelith set achieved it’s intended outcome. Not that you were meant to know about any of this anyway...

“Sh-! Shit, on your knees, darling” You nodded and slid his cock out of your mouth to get into position, obediently for your husband. Baizhu rose from the sofa, guiding his dick back into your mouth as soon as you settled down. This time, he allowed himself the chance to thrust his hips into your mouth, meeting the pace you originally set. His thrusts started slow and deep, becoming more desperate as the pleasure built up.

“god.. m’gonna cum darling” Baizhu’s hold on your hair tightened, pulling at the strands that were wrapped around his slender fingers. He had to lean against the nearest cabinet since his thighs were twitching so much, his legs might’ve given out on him. You have to say, Baizhu’s groans of raw pleasure were a melody you’d never get tired of hearing. Baizhu abruptly pulled out from your mouth, gently taking your hand off from his thigh to place it on his heavy, aching cock.

“Finish it off, darling.. y’did so well, wanna cum on your pretty face..” You nodded and dragged your hand across his dick, feeling the way the large bulging vein running along the underside of his shaft throbbed with need. You leaned a little further up, enough to press your lips against the sensitive skin just underneath his tip. Baizhu’s grip on your hair tightened as his free hand grasped his cock, giving it a few languid pumps.

“Keep still, sweet girl,” He could barely get the words out before the tight coil inside his slender body snapped. Creamy white cum painted your face in spurts and globs, a testament to the adoration that Baizhu had harboured for you for so long.

[ltghosty]

If only you would have trusted me (Simon "Ghost" Riley ﾒ Female "Cobra" Sergeant)

A/N: MW 3 broke me, don't talk to me

Summary: Makarov blackmailed you into joining his army and Task Force 141 thinks you betrayed them without hesitation. Once Ghost and Soap find Milena and you, Ghost finally confronts you about letting him down.

Warnings: curse, angst, guilt, fight, betrayal,

Wordcount: 4.7k

”I thought I was someone whom you could trust because you can be sure as hell that I still trust you with my life. Whether you like it or not."

You knew this moment was coming once Laswell had let you know that Makarov escaped the gulag and was on the move.

You didn’t want it to happen but your job wasn’t famous for making guarantees. Especially with crazy terrorists who wouldn’t stop until the world fell to its knees in front of them.

And Makarov was just like that.

Ruthless, smart, cruel and unpredictable.

While running from location to location, you started to feel getting lost. There were too many dead ends while Makarov was playing with Task Force 141 as he’d wished.

Ghost noticed how much you’d changed since Makarov broke out and wasted no time in getting his hands dirty.

You’d heard stories of him before Price and Soap managed to capture him once 4 years ago which ended in agony and cost a lot of innocent lives. You’d dealt with all kinds of criminals who wanted to build their throne out of corpses but Makarov was by far the worst and most dangerous one.

 With each mission you’d went to with the others, the less your voice could be heard. You were silent and kept checking every corner while wondering how could you finally make a step forward.

There were times when you were seated with Ghost and his favorite sniper to watch the others’ back, and while laying on the ground for hours, the lieutenant tried to get you to talk but you weren’t too bulged.

You hadn’t noticed because you were too focused on your task but Ghost always kept an eye on you when you were in his sight. He’d seen this kind of dedication before, so he understood where your change of heart had come from but he didn’t want you to completely forget who you truly were before.

He’d hated to admit but he would have done anything to bring you back to the surface. It’s been too long since he had heard your laugh or seen your beautiful smile. Hell, he even started to miss those moments when you’d happily join Soap and push his buttons while making fun of Brits.

Ghost couldn’t stand your silence, he liked listening to your voice even while you were only making small chats with him through the coms.

What Ghost had never expected – or anyone else for that matter – was you suddenly disappearing without a word and hearing from a source that you’ve been seen on Makarov’s side.

At first, he was confused and kept denying it but when Price told him that it wasn’t some sort of plan for you to get involved with the Russians, Ghost felt like someone punched him in the chest.

You’d left willingly without a word, and the next thing he knew, you were working under the hands of the enemy.

He was overwhelmed with your betrayal, he was sad, furious, and desperate to find an explanation for your treachery.

What Ghost and the others didn’t know was that Makarov had his eye on you since he escaped from the gulag. Firmly, because you knew Milena from before, and she knew that you were an unstoppable sergeant.

Makarov wanted to break Task Force 141 from the inside before he would grab a gun to put a bullet into everyone’s head, so he ordered his men to do their research on you.

It didn’t take them too long to find your family, even though you tried your best over the years to make it seem like you didn’t have them. You’d never once talked to anyone about your sister and mother who always waited for you to go home, who were always worried about you whenever you departed and had been gone for months while fighting terrorists.

For the first time in your life you didn’t know what to do, you wanted to tell Price and the others that Makarov had captured your family and gave you no choice but the Russian’s intentions were crystal clear. If you’d told anyone about this, he’d kill your family and would blame it all on Task Force 141.

You even thought about telling Ghost that Makarov had found you and backed you in the corner but you knew if the lieutenant would have found out about any of this, he’d never let you go.

Ever since you joined Makarov, the guilt has been eating you from inside, especially whenever your friends’ name was thrown around as Makarov was planning his next move.

Makarov has been calling you ’Rynda’ ever since you gave yourself up to him which you absolutely despised. Since you were his only living connection to Task Force 141, he’d given you the task of always letting him know what the special forces’s next move might be.

”Like the bell ringing when danger is around the corner,” Makarov had said back then with a wicked smile on his lips. ”I don’t want you to disappoint me, Rynda.”

”I won’t.”

Your words might have caused satisfaction in the man but your tongue was burning with the forced promise you’d had to make to him. Your skin was crawling each time he touched you and his voice crept through your ears like venom.

You hated being Milena’s present. Makarov didn’t want any women on the battlefield but he admired your strength and skills, so he ordered you to always stick to Milena and watch her back. Without his financial support, he would have had some problems getting into this whole capture-or-kill scenario.

Milena always made a sound of her whines about how she hated that you were practically babysitting her. Don’t worry, I hate it too, you’d thought.

Whenever you were alone you missed the guys, missed Price being a father figure to you, missed Gaz making fun of your looks after a horribly executed plan, missed Soap teaching you Scottish, and missed Ghost for… for being himself and keeping you under his wing.

”I admire your dedication, really,” Milena called from the other side of the room.

”Do you?”

Milena glanced up from her papers and searched your face.

”Yes, I’m surprised you betrayed your people right away and did everything Vladimir ordered you to.”

”He didn’t give me much of a choice, did he?” you asked and crossed your arms. You hated that she was able to think that you betrayed your second family easily while in reality, it was wearing you down in every way possible.

You were sure you’d never be able to look into their eyes if you saw them again.

”He knows how to win people over.”

You cleared your throat and narrowed your eyes.

”Or to force them to do something that would benefit him.”

Milena was one delusional woman, you were sure of that. You hated how spineless she was and how easily she could get under your skin within seconds.

If Makarov wasn’t so intimidating then you would have already punched her whenever she said a bad word to you. You would have enjoyed it for sure.

Gunshots and shouting emerged from the other side of the building which made you tense right away.

”What the hell?” Milena asked as she stood up and walked to the wall where the security cameras were shown.

You took a few steps, examining the figures that appeared, and felt the color drain from your face.

You wished you would have mistook them for someone else but after serving with them for years, there was no way you wouldn’t recognize them.

It was Soap and Ghost.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, and your stomach turned when you saw Soap getting closer and closer to the door that stood behind you.

With trembling hands, you grabbed your gun and spun on your heel just when the Scots opened the door.

”Special forces, show your hands!”

Raising your guns at the same time, you faced your best friend whose eyes softened the second they found you.

”Cobra…”

It’s been so long since anyone called you that, you almost dropped your gun.

Then you forced yourself to remember your family whose life was on you and how you act now, so you tightened your grip on the cold metal.

”I’d advise you to turn around and leave, Soap.”

Soap lowered his gun while his face dropped in sadness. Your voice was cold and distant, something you’d never used toward him before. You’d only given this treatment to your enemies.

”That’s not going to happen, you know it.”

”I’ll shoot you,” you said, trying to hide your nervousness as he kept your stare.

”You won’t.”

Gritting your teeth, you took a step forward, keeping the gun at him as Milena looked at you in fury.

”What are you waiting for? Shoot him for fuck’s sake!”

No matter how hard you tried, your finger couldn’t touch the trigger. Your heart didn’t let that happen.

Memories flooded and invaded your mind as you looked at John MacTavish who was your favorite partner in crime. Moments of him making you laugh and calming you down after losing a battle made your hands shake in defeat.

You didn’t want to do any of this but you had no choice.

When Soap realized you were not going to shoot him, he let out a small sigh, grabbed one of the chairs, and pushed it forward, his eyes finding Milena.

”Sit.”

You didn’t want to admit but you missed the way Soap could talk coldly to those who were on the other side.

”Fuck you.” Milena spat in hatred.

Soap kept his gaze and gun firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument.

”Sit down, Milena.”

Milena gave you a deadly glare before dropping her hands and taking a seat. You couldn’t say a word, it seemed like your voice ceased to exist.

”Where is your boss?” Soap asked sharply.

”I don’t have a boss. No one tells me what to do.” Milena said and you almost scoffed. Only if her words were true.

Soap glared at her for a while before turning around when heavy footsteps broke the silence. You lowered your hands, sweat appearing on your skin as you noticed a familiar tall figure moving in the shadows.

Soap turned around when Ghost walked through the door with a laptop in his hand.

”She’s not talking.”

As Ghost’s familiar dark eyes met yours, he stopped walking and you felt your heart skip a beat. Just like every other time he’d looked at you, you felt exposed and small.

Ghost’s eyes never left you as you tried to catch your breath. His eyes held many emotions, such as surprise, melancholy, and distance.

You hated the way he was looking at you like you were someone else. Like you weren’t someone who was close to him like you weren’t the sergeant who was never afraid to be honest and open with him.

Before you could realize that there was nowhere to run from him, he blinked and walked over to the table.

”She’s about to,” he grunted and put the laptop down on the table, and walked to the other side of the room.

Not wanting to look into his eyes again, you focused on Soap who opened the white laptop and extended his hand to Milena who was sitting still like a rock.

”Give me your hand.”

”Why? Or else you’ll cut it off?” Milena asked.

”Your friend over there knows that it’s true when I say to you that it’s not my style,” Soap said glancing at you from the corner of his eyes. Then tilted his head in Ghost’s direction. ”He might.”

Milena seemed to lose her patience with each second that passed by.

”Why the mask?” she snapped.

You almost rolled your eyes at the question you seemed to hear a million times.

”To hide my face.” Ghost answered with cold eyes.

You were surprised he answered even though it was an obvious and useless response.

You felt Ghost’s eyes finding you again, making your skin burn as you dropped your gaze. You were intimidated by his presence and not because you were afraid of him but because you knew for sure that you hurt his feelings when you left.

You wished you weren’t here to live through this unwanted confrontation. A part of you was happy to see them but your heart was aching by the disappointed and hurtful looks you received from them.

”Cobra.” Ghost called after you as you turned your head away. His voice reached your bones immediately and you hated how much you missed your callsign falling off his lips.

”Don’t call me that,” you said dryly, turning back to him.

Ghost gave you a challenging look as he pushed himself away from the wall and closed the distance between you two. With each step he took, you felt your chest tighten with anticipation and guilt. You wanted to look somewhere else but he firmly held your gaze.

He always did and that hasn’t changed.

”How about we give these two birds a few minutes to find a way to cooperate with each other?” Ghost asked and you felt your eyes widen.

”I’m not leaving Milena.”

Ghost gave you a meaningful look and took the gun from your hand with such ease that wasn’t surprising to either of you.

”Yes, you are.”

Remembering that you weren’t supposed to leave Milena’s sight for even a second, you felt panic and annoyance wash over you.

”You can’t just order me around. Not anymore.” You said in a cold tone that made Ghost shift in his place.

Without saying a word, he grabbed your elbow and pulled you with him as he made his way to the other door that led to another empty room.

”Hey! Get your fucking hand off of me!” You shouted in frustration and tried to free yourself from his grasp but Ghost easily dragged you with him through the door and kicked it shut with his foot.

You let out a desperate groan as you grabbed his wrist, trying to pry it off of your arm which seemed tiny compared to his.

You bit into your lower lip as you tried your best to move his fingers but he wasn’t moving an inch.

”Cobra…” his voice was calmer and more thoughtful now that you were alone with him.

You didn’t look at him, only let out a defeated sigh and stopped fighting, your skin slightly aching.

”This hurts.”

Ghost glanced down at his hand still holding onto you and let go of you the second you’d admitted your physical pain. Hurting you was something he never intended to do.

Hissing, you brought your arm to your chest and touched it with your other hand, and turned away from him. You didn’t trust yourself when he was alone with you.

”What are you doing, Cobra?” Ghost asked from behind you and you closed your eyes. Hearing confusion and disappointment hiding in his voice made you feel guiltier than before.

”That’s none of your concern anymore, Ghost.” You replied still facing the wall.

Taking deep breaths you tried your best to collect your thoughts as you heard him walk closer to you, dropping your gun to the table standing next to you.

”It is.”

His voice circled around you like clouds darkening the sky before the storm.

”Why did you leave?”

You pressed your lips against each other and turned around. You got used to his menacing presence coming firstly from his height. You felt small and weak because you knew he could see right through you.

”People change, Lieutenant. You better get used to it.”

”People change that’s for sure. But don’t betray and stab others in the back just like that. A decision like this never comes from a single thought.”

You hated how much he tried to get into your mind, still trying to find answers to his questions that have probably been burning in him since the day you left.

”I refuse to believe that after everything that happened, you’d willingly just switch sides, I know you. And I know how much you despise traitors,” his eyes never left you as he was speaking.

You didn’t say a word, not when you were on the edge of breaking down.

”Talk to me, Cobra.” Ghost said, his voice quiet.

”I can’t,” you shook your head. ”Why don’t you just do your job and get out of here?”

”I’m not leaving until you say something to me.”

”There is nothing for me to say, especially to you.”

Ghost felt his chest tighten at your coldness. He would have never expected you to speak to him this way. Not after how long it took for you two to finally let your guard down around each other.

”Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

”I do, Ghost. Believe it or not, I’m not part of the special forces anymore, so either shoot me or get out of my face.”

”You really think I’d hurt you?” he asked, his voice low and sad.

”You eliminate targets and now I’m one too,” you crossed your arms, trying to look confident.

”I know why you’re pushing me,” he narrowed his eyes. ”And I know for sure that you didn’t betray us because you felt like you could. I know there is something behind all of this that you refuse to tell me.”

You didn’t answer and that was more than enough for him to confirm his theory about you.

”What happened, Cobra?”

”I left and now I’m one of Makarov’s people, that’s what happened!”

You were desperate to try to get him out of here because your heart was breaking with each word that was exchanged between you two.

”No, don’t even say that. I know who you are.”

”You don’t, Simon. Just get over it and let me go,” you snapped and his gaze dropped for a brief second. You didn’t even realize at first that you called him by his real name until you saw the change in his eyes.

It seemed like your words had made a final straw in Simon’s heart. You hated yourself for talking to him like that and you wished you could go back to them, to him, and forget about this nightmare you’d fallen into.

”I thought I was someone whom you could trust because you can be sure as hell that I still trust you with my life. Whether you like it or not."

His words made more impact on you than they should have. They meant the world to you and knowing that even after turning your back on him, he still trusted you and wanted you to go back.

”I trusted you.”

Trusted you. Past tense which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

”You didn’t if you could leave me like I was nothing to you.” Ghost confronted you with raw honesty, not even hiding the fact of how much your decision had pained him.

”It wasn’t easy,” you admitted, hugging your stomach and your eyes filling with unwanted tears. You hated if someone saw the vulnerable side of you, you hated being vulnerable but around Ghost, you knew he wouldn’t use your pain against you. Never.

Ghost stepped closer to you, making it impossible to look at anything else but him. When he heard your voice tremble and saw your eyes become glossy, he knew he meant something to you after all.

Lifting his hand, he put his index finger under your jaw and made you look at him. His eyes mirrored his emotions as he watched you slowly letting go of the invisible mask you’d hidden behind.

”You don’t need to keep anything from me, Cobra. Have I ever broken your trust and let you down?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as a lonely tear escaped and rolled down on your hot skin.

When you slowly shook your head, he dipped his to your level.

”Then tell me. Please.”

Swallowing your doubts, you took a shaky breath, his hand still on you.

”He’ll kill me.”

”I won’t let that happen,” Ghost promised it without a second thought.

The words were on the tip of your tongue, almost jumping down. You hated to keep secrets from anyone, especially from Simon who had proven himself worthy of your trust more than once.

”Cobra, I can’t help if you don’t let me,” he continued with sad eyes and wiped your face.

It surprised you how a tall giant like him who had a name for his ruthless methods and interrogation scenes, could act so soft and careful with you.

It was hard to believe that the hand that was confronting you and wiping away your tears had killed so many people before.

With your lower lip quivering, you felt your fear taking over you, making your knees shake. Ghost watched you with worried eyes as you let out a sob you couldn’t hold back anymore and jumped into his arms, hiding your face into his neck.

As you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, you felt the heat coming off of his body, his tenseness slowly fading away once he’d realized what you were doing.

Ghost embraced your hug, his big arms wrapping around you like a shield, silently promising to keep you safe. He felt your scent filling his nose and his heart slowing down as your bodies pressed against each other’s.

”He has my family, Simon. He’ll kill them if I don’t obey his orders,” you sobbed in pure panic, your small hands holding onto him.

Ghost exhaled and tightened his grip around you, his head dropping onto yours with ease.

”Shh… I’m here,” he scooted you as you let your tears fall onto his gear.

”I couldn’t tell anyone and he made me swear to leave you or else…”

Ghost didn’t say it was okay or that it would be all right. Because he wasn’t sure if he could keep his promise if he’d told you something you wanted to hear at the moment.

So, he just kept you in his arms and rubbed your back while his heart came to peace now that he knew the real reason why you left them.

”I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

”Hey, hey…” Ghost pulled you away slightly so that he could look into your eyes.

When you glanced up at him, his eyes didn’t make you feel anxious like a few minutes ago, they made you realize you weren’t alone and that he wasn’t blaming you for anything.

”Don’t be sorry, family comes first.” Ghost answered. ”You did what you have to, I understand.”

”But you’re also my family,” you whispered in a defeated tone and his eyes softened.

”It’s okay, Cobra. I’m not mad, I could never be mad at you,” he admitted and pulled you into his chest, his hand caressing your hair.

You sniffed and hid your face in his chest, wishing you could wake up from this nightmare.

But unfortunately, you were awake. You have been this whole time and there was no turning back from now.

”I wish you would have told me without running away,” he said quietly. ”I understand why you did it, I just wish you would have told me.”

”I wanted to,” you admitted, your voice small and vulnerable.

”Why didn’t you then?” he asked, still holding you against his chest.

You sighed and wiped your flushed face, your other hand still around his waist.

”I was afraid you wouldn’t have let me leave.”

”You’re fucking right I wouldn’t have let you do that,” he agreed immediately, causing you to giggle.

Ghost felt warmness fill his chest at your almost laugh, making it easier for him to breathe now that you were in his arms and let yourself smile.

He missed you, a lot.

”I trust you, Simon. You know, I do.”

He hummed as he let his fingertips dance on your skin a little.

”It was hard to believe otherwise when I woke up to you missing one day.”

The familiar feeling of guilt made your expression drop and your brows furrow. You really wished things would have been different.

You hated yourself for making Ghost feel like he didn’t mean anything to you. You hated yourself for making him almost lose his faith in you.

”I’d tell you that you’re coming back with us but something tells me you won’t.”

You stepped away from him, letting go of his torso with defeated eyes.

”He’ll kill them, I can’t go with you,” you said sadly. You’d never felt so lost and desperate before and Simon could see that in your eyes.

”So, what…” his voice trailed off. ”You’re just going to stay by his side and do whatever the fuck he wants you to?”

”It’s not like I want to work for him, Simon. But I have no choice.”

”We’ll figure something out,” he replied.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair in frustration.

”You can’t, you know it.”

Ghost shook his head. ”No, there has to be a way… We have to do something before he kills you.”

”I appreciate your concern but there’s nothing you can do for me,” you whispered in a hoarse voice.

Ghost stared at you while hundreds of thoughts had run through his mind, wondering if there was a way he could help you. Hoping he could say or do something that would make you feel better.

”I have to do something… I can’t lose you again, I won’t.”

His words made your heart almost jump out of your chest while he massaged the back of his neck. You felt physically weak at the plea of his voice while he was trying to find a solution.

But there was none.

Not when Makarov had his chains on you like on a dog.

”I’ll be fine, just go.”

Ghost looked at you with hesitation.

”I can’t, Cobra. What if I won’t see you again?”

Wiping your eyes, you took a shaky breath. Him trying to get you out of this just made the whole situation more unbearable.

”We knew what we were signing up for when we joined the special forces, Lt.”

Ghost felt his heart starting to ache in sadness as he took your defeated and exhausted sight in. You weren’t the woman who once made a race with him about getting more kills on a mission or not.

You were only a shadow of yourself and he hated to see you this way.

He would have done anything to be able to take you back with him to the base and never let you go.

It terrified him how lost he’d felt when you left the team, he could still remember how he’d stare at the ceiling of his room, wondering if he’d ever see you again.

”Don’t talk like that, Cobra.” Ghost scolded you. ”Now is not the time.”

”You know I might end up getting killed after all.”

”Don’t.” Ghost said in a stern voice, his body tensing at your words. ”Nobody is dying. Not on my watch and I’m going to keep my word.”

It made you feel better to know that Ghost didn’t hold anything against you. Your soul found peace now that he knew the why behind your decisions and betrayal. It killed you that you couldn’t go home with him and Soap.

Ghost stepped closer to you and waited for you to look into his dark eyes that led you directly to his soul.

”I’m going to get you out of this, Cobra. I promise. I’m not leaving anyone behind, especially you.”

His promise made you forget the danger that was around the corner and just for a brief second you were happy to let yourself believe what Ghost was saying.

”You better not to, lieutenant.”

Ghost huffed and touched the side of your face, his thumb softly caressing your skin. Closing your eyes, you leaned into his touch and forgot how to breathe for a moment.

Simon Riley was famous for a lot of things and keeping his promise was one of them. That was the only thing that helped you come to peace with the things you were forced to do in order to protect your family.

[clovenhoofedjester]

jellicle lineups; part 3/4

LETS GO PEOPLE!! LETS GO !! sorry for taking so long to get around to this one !

demeter | 🔒 🍰 ��

DEETER

ive seen a lot of complaints about demeters design being toned down over the years so i decided to bring some of the bolder design choices back for mine. mullet demeter is REAL now ! honestly i couldve done more w/ their makeup but shhh its ok....

i tried to push the gold in their design by making the eyeshadow really obvious and giving them gold lips. enjoy their lacy dress too... i tried to design something which they could dance comfortably in

demeters newer 3 words (nervous, sensual, secretive) mean everything to me. love them so much. i think theyd be 29 in human years

bombalurina | 🌹 🍓 🛼

so i totally based her hair on that concept art for drag queen bomba. the bob is too cute ! i had a blast doing her design for the most part. i struggled w that makeup and the color of her dress but its ok.

i also tried to give her something she could dance in—just like. imagine the length of the dress a little shorter. im not going back and fixing it

i based her color palette/patterns directly on her concept art because tbh, i dont love blond/ginger bomba ! so black/white/red hair bomba it is

i think she would be 27 in human years

hysperia | 🪴 ⌚ 🍡

this is my version of exotica, renamed hysperia, because i do not love her og name. its not fun. the name hysperia is taken from an ensemble kitten character from the og london production

i also based her design on a multitude of things, asides from her 2 costumes in 98—like some nbq/greycat designs since i feel like that design not becoming a common ensemble character was a waste. A WASTE I TELL YOU! ive also based her fur length on warsaw victoria because oh my godddd that design is so good. peak

her neck bow is a nod to the 2019 movie... the macavity girls w/ those bow collars. they were onto something there

she would have a much more prominent role than the few times she cameo'd in 98, still retaining the elegant/shy personality she shows in the film. shed be 29 in human years

cassandra | 🪐 ♠️ 🥯

i originally made her makeup a lot closer to her replica designs but decided to go for something a little different based on a makeup look i saw on pinterest LOL. so like. enjoy her slight earthy gothic vibes. i also didnt struggled too much on her outfit since i came into this knowing that i wanted her to be wearing something formfitting and bejeweled. a little circus-y too

more people have got to play up her disdainfulness. she'd be 26 in human years

alonzo | 🎹 🍢 🎳

once again, another design pretty similar to his standard replica one. i just tried to make the black patch on his face a little greyer and with some white detailing. because tbh every alonzo with white mascara makes me go crazy its so cute

i also tried to make his head fur/bangs a little distinctive—inspired by a random pic from a production i dont know the name of

enjoy his little cute fit too. pinklonzo. pastelonzo

that one gif of him pantomiming eating a playing card IS canon to me. he'd be 28 in human years

munkustrap | 📼 🥧🎙

verrrry similar to standard replica munks makeup-wise ! however, fur wise.... say hi to mulletstrap. to manestrap. 2 me he is tuggers brother so he gets that. i have no justification for the mullet other than idk, looks good, is funny, and the oslo 1985 production was right to give him one. also he and demeter can match now

i do like when theyre seen as something of a prince... so say hi to the gothenburg and opera populaire-esque epaulettes. theyre cayoot. they also get warsaw munks Big Pant Vibes

give this man a break. hed be 30 in human years

macavity | 🔥 🥂 🎯

he was actually one of the first cats i made design notes for when i started hyperfixating on this musical like.... two months ago. i really tried to mix elements from a bunch of different designs 4 him.... and sorry yall hes a deut brother too. im predictable

the manginess, mane, more ginger-y head fur, tugger-ness and the mouth markings from the 2016 revival... the big big hair, white fur and general makeup from his replica design... and the stylings of il sistina mac with the fitted coat. he also gets unique eyelashes like tugger—this time white instead of gold. he also gets that ominous magic cat eye shading

i think he would act a lot like 2019 mac... suave. but also not as dorky and desperate as he is in that movie LOL. he'd be 33 in human years

ONLY ONE MORE LEFT..... THE OLDIES........ MAYBE... I MIGHT MAKE DESIGNS FOR SOME OF THE SWINGS TOO LOL

[jendollzz]

11:36pm

- njm

fluff, kissing, very cute, jealous jaemin

You’ve been dating jaemin since last may, its only been a year and 4 months. You never knew how much a life can change in one year and 4 months, you felt like you knew jaemin your whole life but at the same time it feels like 2 months ago you just met him. Due to both of your crazy, clashing schedules you’ve only seen jaemin a handful of times after his tour. Today though, jaemin invited you to sleepover to stay over for the weekend (as you often do when the both of you are mostly free during the weekends). You left work and came straight to his apartment, punching in his code in to his apartment you head to the kitchen putting down your bags on his countertop. His three kittens come running to you “hiii my cuties” you kneel down and pet them all. “wheres you dad hm?” Talking to lucy in your arms while heading to his room. Usually jaemin would be the first one you’d face when you come over but now he isn’t. “jaem?” you call out softly in case he’s asleep. Entering his room. You hear mumbling coming from the bathroom,

what the hell is going on??.

You head to the open bathroom door and you’re met with your boyfriend with a really thick white face mask on. “Oh my god! You scared the living shit outta me” placing your hand over your chest to calm yourself. The cat jumping out of your arms due to your (almost) heart attack. “i cant really talk baby im sorry” he barely lets out the words from the tight mask. By the time you take a quick shower, change into your his pjs, jaemin is already in bed almost half asleep. Its already a bit past midnight, the clock reading 12:12. You turn off your side lamp and land on his bare chest. “all the skincare you put on right now is on my chest” you both chuckle, he stares at your tired figure, his fingers lazily brushing against your hair. “what time do you have to leave tomorrow” you ask, moving your head to get a better look at him. “afternoon..” he says, as if he’s making sure not to break the calm ambiance surrounding you two. You give a small hum in return and mumble a something he can’t catch. “hm?” he tries to make out something but he can’t. “i love you” you confess. Jaemin continues to stare at you, its not like this is the first time you’ve said it nor has he. But he knows theres something under that ‘i love you’ just by your tone. “i love you too baby, you want something?” You move slightly to look at him but not saying anything, he encourages your hesitant figure by giving you a slight nod. “what if we moved in?” your heart beating so fast you can hear it as if you have noise-cancelling headphones playing some edm just by throwing that question at him. You’ve talked about moving in with each other multiple times, plus you’ve been dropping hints here and there ever since you’ve decided to move.

“we?” he asks

“I meant like me, since you know i want to move out anyway it’d be a nice chance and you dont need to change anything for me. I love your house, and its-“ your rambling is cut off by his laugh “why are you laughing” you start to let out small laughs along with him. He shakes his head and pulls you closer, kissing you. You pull back after a bit not wanting him to brush off the question. “So…?” Your eyes glistening, waiting for his answer. The longer you wait the more your hope drops. “Why would i ever say no to you?” He brings his hand to tuck away your hair falling on your face. “So… yes?” He nods. You loved that about jaemin, treating you with everything you deserve. You have the princess treatment, literally. You want this necklace?, he buys. You’re craving pancakes?, he makes. You need a new gym trainer?, he’s there. All you want, you get. You move closer to peck his face and lastly his lips. “You taste like chemicals” jaemin says in slight disgust at the unpleasant taste in his mouth. You let out a loud laugh at his face “so now i can never kiss my boyfriend?” You try to sound offended. “Of course you can, just not when he has 7 layers of skincare products on” he moves his hands slowly so you don’t notice and start attacking your stomach. You can barely cover yourself, jaemins hand holding together both of your wrists. “No- jaemin! Stop stop please please” he finally stops falling on his side, facing you once again. “What was that for??!”

“For not calling me yesterday” he says calmly

“I said sorry??” You defend

“Sorry isn’t going to call me”

“You’re sulking? Jaem i called you and you didn’t pick up i figured you went to sleep early”

“Well i didn’t”

“Fine.”

You both have your back turned away from each other. This was normal for you two, having a petty fight but make up 5 minutes later.

“Come closer its cold..” you mumble, all the energy completely drained from you.

He lets out sigh before turning around and meeting your face. “You’re taking out their litter tomorrow” he says moments before you sleep. “Oh my god..” you give in at the end.

[modelbus]

eyup model!! Hru?? Hope all is well… but lets get to the important shit, THATS RIGHT! ITS ME, YOUR SELF PROCLAIMED FAVOURITE ANNON, ✨🌌🌙!!! Y’know, the one that writes SUPER detailed, SUPER long and SUPER off-topic-for-the-first-half requests!!!! (If I keep this up for long enough, you’re gonna have to add a ✨🌌🌙 Annon section to your master list. /hj)

that makes me think about when I first requested, I wonder how long its been.. I THINK my first req was Cut Chaos.. one sec lemme check………

AYE IN 4(ish) MONTHS IT’LL BE A YEAR SINCE I STARTED HARASSING YOU WITH MY THINK OF BRAINS!

been a while.. I’ll need to remember to write a DUMB request in june.

SO. REQUEST. YES. I DO THAT? I DO THAT.

okay so idk how to format this but here,

She/Her pronouns for plot. y/n is honestly, REALLY bad at pvp, she’s know amongst the SBI for being.. a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but the wolf has no teeth. She likes flowers, pastel pinks, purples, and blues, she likes cottage core dresses and corsets.. So on the surface she looks like a pretty, little, innocent streamer!… yeah, no. Sure, shes pretty as fuck, but little? She is SURPRISINGLY TALL. half the fan base is fully convinced EVERY photo shes in is photo shopped, but sure enough, shes 6’4! Innocent? Say the words ‘Arson’ ‘Crime’ or ‘Manslaughter’, and you practically summon her. (Every SMP she has been on, has in-fact seen not only her enemy’s but HER OWN, Builds being blown up and/or burnt to the ground AT LEAST, 3 times.) shes also know for her ADORABLE builds (shame half of them end in ash..), her parkour skills.. and uh.. being complete garbage at anything pvp.

Well twitter being twitter, a lot of sexist 12 year old boys, and Andrew tate fans like to be.. REALLY creepy and all ‘perfect house wife’ about her. (You get the gist no more detail needed.) While they may not know it(they ignore it/pretend its fake), she’s actually quite strong in real life, often picking up her friends in irl streams and running away with them as a bit (with consent ofc)! But in minecraft, that doesn’t really show.. so naturally being the absolute fucking queen she is, about a year ‘n a half ago, she decided she was gonna be fucking great at pvp. Naturally not telling anyone but techno (so he could teach her, duh) and avoiding all pvp for a year, lead to people joking about it more often.. this didn’t bother her, it was actually perfect, she had been getting better. Like really. Danm. Better. Practicing even without techno and on an alt, and at this point? It felt natural to be disappointed at a 25 win streak.. she went from 0 to about 30-40 average win streaks.. in a year and a half.. she was dedicated, okay? Her fans did notice her getting a little rusty at parkour but they just assumed she had been to busy to practice as much.. they were right but not about what she was busy doing.. So, she obviously invited the sbi, and a few other friends (Tubbo, Ranboo and Dream.) to play a custom pvp themed game, with the stream titled ‘I haven’t pvp-ed in a year and a half, and now I’m doing it again.’ where they were split into two rounds, (y/n and techno being in both but the rest in one) all in hardcore and spawned on opposite sides of the map, having 30 minutes to gear up, before pvp was turned on, and no going to the end, no other rules than one hour to be the last one standing, they could team, they could camp, they could use tnt minecrarts, they could go to the nether, anything. it was all game.

only two people expected her to crush almost everyone. I’m not even sure if those two people were expecting her to come second one round, and WIN the other.. but with her getting half the kills in round one and losing to techno in a final battle where she held her fucking ground like a boss ass mother fucker, and winning after techno killed Dream and she ambushed him after using a god apple..

lets just say after a couple things trending, a lot of fanart and A LOT of sapphic women going crazy, nobody dared to question her dedication to proving she was a fucking force to be reckoned with again.

(It also became a very popular running joke that she got more women than any other Minecraft CC.. you don’t gotta include that just- just make it cannon.. oops, dropped my gay onto the request lemme fetch that rq..) (yes, I wrote this y/n as my fuckin dream girl, I’m a simp okay..)

haha.. ha.. BRO AT THIS POINT I’M JUST WRITING A FIC AND TELLING YOU TO RE-WRITE IT BUT MAKE IT GOOD I- feel free to change what ever, the top half is mostly just context- even if you don’t do this request you should reply to it so its not lost to the void- I.. I’m sorry man I keep doing this to you-

OH WELL JUST PRETEND THIS IS WAY SHORTER THAN IT IS OR IGNORE IT IDC EITHER WAY HOPE THIS GIVES YA INSPO POOKIE (the pookie was ironic I swear-) - ✨🌌🌙 Annon

For our one year anniversary I’ll make a special section of my master list just for you bbg <3 also don’t judge me for this title I was STRUGGLING

Pairing: what the fuck anymore Actual pairing: Fem!Reader x Cc!Phil, Cc!Tommy, Cc!Technoblade, Cc!Dream, Cc!Tubbo, Cc!Ranboo

Flower Power

You were pretty happy with who you were. A badass woman who just so happened to be the epitome of flower power? Hell yeah.

Fairy lights twinkle in the background of your setup, a wall full of vines and LED signs providing extra ambience. That’s not to mention the special keyboard—resin flower keycaps, they were on sale okay—alongside your setup in general. Even your mic had cute animal stickers on it. Well, except for the one Tommy gave you of his face? It was weird.

Right now, though, you aren’t at your cute setup. No matter how much you loved it, you were at least aware that you couldn’t send every waking moment at it. You weren’t quite that much of a content machine.

So of course you go outside to film vlogs with Tommy! Totally reasonable break from filming content: film more content!

Jokes aside, you loved hanging out with your friends. Getting dressed up just for Tommy to inevitably ruin it was practically your good luck ritual. The sheer number of skirts, shawls, and even socks he owes you is astronomical.

Today he had promised nothing messy (for once), so you took your chance. Pale blue corset embroidered with flowers and a flowy white skirt, you were practically screaming your aesthetic to anyone who looked at you. And Ranboo had given you a dandelion for your hair, which only added to it.

”Tall fuckers to the back for the photo!” Tommy shouts, and the poor bystander he roped into taking the photo stares. “Which obviously means me—“

“Get your short ass back in front.” You order, snagging his shoulders and forcing him in front of you. From your side, Ranboo snickers.

“Welcome to the club, king.” Tubbo tells Tommy before grinning at the camera.

“What the fuck.” He grumbles. “She’s hardly any taller than me!”

“Keep lying to yourself.” You put your elbow on his head, just to add insult to injury.

“Um, I got the photo I think.” The stranger says, holding Tommy’s phone out to him. He takes it without even looking at the photos.

“Thanks.” He says after you clear your throat pointedly to prompt him.

Seeing their chance to escape, the person just nods and hurries off without a single glance back. Probably glad to be rid of your wayward group of streamers and YouTubers.

“It’s a decent photo.” Tommy begrudgingly admits.

“It’s my cue to leave, actually. I’ve got plans.” Tubbo says, checking his phone.

“Why do you get more bitches than me?” Tommy whines.

“…it’s my mother.”

“And we all know I get the most bitches.” You jump in, high-fiving Ranboo blindly. You nearly hit his face, but that’s okay. It would’ve been funny.

“Oh shut the fuck up.” Tommy elbows you, all gangly limbs and pointy bones. “We’re playing Minecraft later, right?”

“Not me.” Tubbo reminds him.

“No shit. I was talking to these two idiots.”

“Hey!”

“I’ll be on.” You lean over him, looking at his phone for the time. “You’re aware we need to leave if we want to make your stupid fucking steam time?”

He looks down, eyes widening. “Oh shit!”

Just for making you run home, you blow up his house on Minecraft. For the fourth time. It was ugly looking anyway, nothing like your adorable mushroom house, so he was practically begging for it to be exploded.

It’s his fault. Always.

-

“You really want to attack me from there?”

Your hands freeze on your keyboard mid-movement, making your character in game also freeze at Techno’s words.

“Not anymore?” You laugh nervously.

“Right answer. Try this again and I’ll pretend like I don’t see you.”

PvP training was going great, and by that you mean you’ve been killed every single time by one swing of his axe. It was no secret that you were bad at fighting. Your go-to tactic was to load up on TnT and hope for the best, which met… many criticisms.

And you were sick and tired of it. It’s time to reinstate your badass reputation and become a ruthless killer in a video game. Innocent bedwars players would never know what hit them! Hopefully, at least. Right now, you’re still working on that.

“Fuck!” You exclaim as Techno kills you yet again, the respawn screen flashing up.

“If you with to defeat me, train for another—“

“I’m trying!”

-

@ GenericUsername Anyone else notice that our resident flower girl has been avoiding PvP… poor girl is TIRED of being flamed

-> @ EatingLipSkin She deserves it for how shit she is for dying to magma blocks that one time

-

Slowly, so fucking slowly, you watch your bedwars win streak increase. Slowly, you watch your skywars win streak increase.

Somehow, against literally all odds, you’re learning how to girlboss PvP. Although when you told Techno that he seemed mildly confused, but you were definitely girlbossing PvP.

Which was exactly why you knew this stream was a good idea.

After a year and a half, you were hosting a huge stream with a bunch of your friends competing in a PvP tournament. Tommy insisted on there being a prize, so whoever wins gets the highly esteemed Tesco’s gift card you’ve had in your desk for five months. A battle of true honor, of epic consequences.

“Alright guys, so here’s my plan.” You tell your stream, mining some wood to craft basic tools. Everyone has 30 minutes to gear up, then it’s an hour till the winner is crowned. With the map having a small border, you’re counting on some cheeky kills from sneaking up on others. “I mine first, stock up on iron. Make a diamond axe if I can, but mostly go for lava buckets and backup gear.”

Your plan is put into motion quickly. With the new iron veins, it’s incredibly easy for you to get geared up within fifteen minutes. Venturing back up to the surface for food, you spot Tubbo without any armor killing sheep.

Perfect.

Sneaking to hide your name tag, you venture up a tree to get closer to him. You added a proximity mod, so you can hear him talking to his stream.

“We need lots of food, chat. All these guys— these guys don’t know the importance of food!” He’s saying. It’s a smart plan; if only you weren’t planning on killing him and taking his food.

“Hi Tubbo!” You shout, dropping down and killing him with a few swipes of your axe. “One down, just a few more to go!”

As people die left and right—most dying to you, to everyone’s surprise—you pointedly avoid Technoblade. The student will never surpass the master, after all. All your tricks came from his playbook and you really didn’t want to see how competitive he’d get for a gift card he’d never even use.

Dream was slain by Technoblade

Your eyes widen in surprise at the chat message, quickly stretching your fingers to press tab and bring up the list of players left alive. Only yours and Techno’s show.

“Oh no.” You breathe, freezing. “Oh God, chat. I have to murder Technoblade. I have to disassemble his organs and destroy his aorta.”

Suddenly, you’re paranoid as all hell. Randomly going into F5 as you kill cows, checking every angle.

“The student thinks she can challenge the master?” Techno asks, and you shriek in surprise as he digs up from below you.

“I fucking knew you’d say that! You predictable pig!”

“But you didn’t know where I was going to come from.” He points out. You know him well enough to detect the faint line of amusement in the words.

You groan, eating a steak. “Let’s dance, Technoblade.”

“Let’s die, actually.”

He comes at you with an axe, immediately disabling your shield. In retaliation, you swap to a fishing rod to lure him back in when he tried to run off.

As the two of you fight, you find yourself getting closer to your monitor, keeping your mouth shut as you concentrate. Fingers flying across the keys, you scroll to your lava bucket and attempt to burn him. By some miracle, he manages to avoid it and get a hit in on you.

“Oh my God.” You breathe at seeing how many hearts it takes. “Is that fucking enchanted?”

“Is yours not? Get good, nerd.”

You jump past him, placing a quick block to act as a barrier as you smack him with your own axe. Diamond, so it should make up for the difference in strength of his enchanted iron axe.

He loops around a tree, but you momentarily lose track of him. “Where the fuck—?”

As you notice your hearts depleting, you whirl around. Instead of doing the smart thing a retreating, you jump forward and crit him out. If he were any other player (cough cough, Tommy), he’d run. But he’s Technoblade. And all he does is crit you in return, killing you.

“Fuck.” You groan, leaning back in the chair.

<Technoblade> If you wish to defeat me train for another 100 years

Rolling your eyes at the chat message, all you can do is wait for the server to be reset with a new map and everyone living again.

You do the same tactic again, gearing up as quick as possible. It seems like other people have stolen your idea, but go about it in different ways based on the achievements. In the chat, you watch as Ranboo gets the achievement for entering the nether and then Tommy gets it right after.

“I will gift twenty subs if one of them isn’t dead within… five minutes.” You wager to your chat, laughing slightly. They’re still busy freaking out that you placed second last round, making you smile. “Guys, what’s wrong? You didn’t think I’d get kills? What am I known for if not manslaughter?”

A few minutes later—just under five minutes, might you note—Ranboo’s death message pops up. And then so does Tommy’s. Ranboo was killed by Tommy, but apparently Tommy burned to death? You can definitely picture his dumb ass walking into fire.

“Well… looks like I’m aiming for Phil.” You sigh. “I’d feel too bad to kill Tubbo again. But I’m not fucking with Dream or Techno— losing fights and all that.”

You start mining up to the surface, digging through some deep slate you had gone through. “Wait, is this wood?” You ask, scrolling to your axe to mine through the oak planks. You mine directly through a mineshaft, gasping in surprise. “Oh!”

There’s a chest in a minecart right in front of you, so you open it, hoping for some cheeky diamonds. You’ll even take wheat; food is food.

“Oh my God!” You shriek, probably bursting more than a few eardrums. “A god apple— oh my god! We’re fucking winning this one, guys! Cower at my name! But first we’re getting out of here before a spider kills me.”

You run around for a few minutes before stumbling into Dream and promptly running the other way directly into Phil’s house. Why he was building a house on a PvP server? You’ll never know.

“Oh, hi mate, what’re you doing?” He asks, hands empty of any weapons. You scroll onto your flint and steel silently. “Listen. We can talk about this. You don’t need to do this.”

“It’s too late, Philza Minecraft.” You answer, lighting some of the logs on fire. “Should’ve made it out of stone!”

Turning, you light the ground under him on fire then scroll over to your axe. He’s not expecting it, and although he gets a hit in with his empty fists, you still kill him.

“Just Techno and Dream left now.” You note. “Let’s just… hope they battle it out.”

To keep yourself occupied as you wait for the last five minutes before the borders shrink, you start setting cows on fire and collecting flowers. Poppies and dandelions fill your inventory, your little good luck charms.

“Alright guys. Someone go sneak into Techno’s chat and snitch on what’s happening for me.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Kidding, kidding. Don’t do that.”

Just as the one-minute warning pops up I no chat, Techno’s death message does. You gasp loudly, before grinning. “It’s my time to shine! I’ll avenge Techno!”

The world border starts to shrink behind you, but you’re already on the move. Knowing Dream, he’ll probably be in the center of the map. If you can catch him while he’s looting Techno’s body, you have no chance of losing.

“Stop saying good luck chat, I don’t need any good luck.” You grin, spotting Dream’s name tag. “I’ve got skill.”

Before you throw yourself at him, you eat your enchanted golden apple. If you trade blows, you’ll end up winning with the extra health. And two hearts is all you need.

“Ohhhh Dream!” You shout, catching him with a swing of your axe as you jump past him.

“AHH— what the fuck? Where did you come from?” He runs after you, making you do awkward jumping around to avoid his fishing rod.

“Stop! Stop that, I can’t— Dream!”

“Are you regenerating? Did you go to the nether?” He asks, and you can’t help but smile.

Because God apples don’t just give you extra hearts; they give you regeneration.

“I did one better.”

You hit him with your axe again, trading blows with him just like you thought you might.

“You’ve got to be low, how low are you?” He asks, hitting you again, but it’s too late. His body explodes on his death, his items flying out everywhere. You throw your chair back, jumping up and shouting.

“SUCK MY FUCKING DICK HATERS! I’M THE NEW PVP GODDESS AROUND HERE!”

-

@ WomenLover MOMMY? SORRY... MOMMY? SORRY

->@ TheRealBIcon dont be sorry we all thinking it she HOT HOT

@ S4pph1cSarah Anyone else see that fanart of her winning the PvP tournament… woo boy…. I’m… not okay…

@ S4pph1cSarah A thread of the HOTTEST fanart I’ve ever seen of our beloved streamer <3

@ SmexyWomenNearMe Me: “where is she?” “Her parkour skills are rusty how odd” “she’s streaming less” Her: “Watch this fuckos I’m badass and a killer”

->@ TwilightReference ”this is the face of a killer Bella”

@ CottagecoreBadass Can we talk about how dedicated she is? Like yeah she’s hot. So hot. But she’s also insanely badass and commited???

->@ CuteBuilder101 Best type of woman fr fr ->@ StarAnon Cottagecore + badass + chaotic force of nature = her (my dream woman)

@ StarAnon She really just drew all the women lovers outta hiding huh

@ ThisIsTheWriter Idk if I want to be her or if I want her but man. Oh man. I’m so bi.

[xxnashiraxx]

24, 37, 53, 56 and 63 for the writer ask game! 🥰❣️

Thank you for asking, lovely friend! You can find the original post here!

24. Worst Writing Advice Anyone Ever Gave You? I don't have too many instances where I'd specifically reached out and asked, honestly I was trying to hide it as much as possible, haha. But I think the one that sticks out the most, through no particular source, would be to write all the time, constantly. That doesn't help you, it drains you and takes a horrible mental toll on you if you don't regulate yourself and take a break from time to time. I struggle with feeling like I should always be doing something, always be productive, but trust me- taking a nice step back from time to time can actually help waaaay more. 🖤🖤

37. How Do You Choose Where to End a Chapter? This is such a good question- I like to make a slight impact with my chapter endings and I guess, though it really isn't this complicated in my head when I'm doing it, is to play on an emotion. For romance, I could end on angst or longing, for complicated feelings and emotions I like to end on a realization or the struggle of further confusion and its resulting aggravation. I also like to pepper in little crumbs regarding an ongoing plot that hasn't been fully unraveled yet, mostly so the readers feel like they're wrapping their heads around the mysteries along with me. It's fun! But not always super clear cut. 💕

53. How Do You Spend Your Time When it Comes to Fanfiction? Are You Primarily a Fic Reader, Writer, or a Perfect 50/50 Split of Both?

I have alternated and balanced this ratio out as time has gone on! Back when I first started in high school, I was primarily 50/50. Over the years I kind of lost my muse, or I'd write for myself very sparingly (maybe once a year or so, and less than 10k during that period) with things that I found interesting, but I didn't really delve back into the hobby until last July. I was a reader, consuming literally everything Nalu (Fairy Tail) until resuming a long fic I'd planned out 4 years ago and never finished. Unfortunately, or in other words, fortunately for me, I discovered Baldur's Gate, and after Astarion, there was no going back (rip my Alvarez Arc rewrite, may she rest in peace). Now I tend to lean more towards the writer portion since I'm writing my current long fic (With Stars to Fill My Dream) and doing some Astarion Kinktober prompts, but once this month ends and I'm on my longer post schedule, I am hoping to catch up on all the fics I haven't been able to read that are sitting in my browser (I have 30+ tabs open, it's ridiculous...)

56. What's Something About Your Writing That You Pride Yourself On?

Oh boy... I don't say this as a fish for compliments, but I'm not really sure I do anything too different from other people! I have heard a kind of general consensus on my horror aspects, and while I personally think they're extremely tame for my own standards and I know I'm my worst critic and think they can always be improved upon, that's something that really sticks with me. I have never published in the excess that I have now, and it literally means the world to me when anyone comments on anything they think sticks out when they read my fics. If I had to go with anything else, I'd say that my little details have really improved during the time I've been a writer. I've done many little links back to earlier conversations and imagery with callbacks in WSTFMD that I'm very proud of. I just hope it's not too obscure that people miss it!

63. Something You Hate to See in Smut.

Look, I'm really open-minded, and if anything isn't my cup of tea of course I wouldn't seek it out. That should always be established. Glaringly obvious things would be anything illegal, but going into the real bones, I'd probably have to say some "terms" for "areas" on the body being overused or out of place kind of bother me. I really don't have too many crazy ones here, I'm guilty of using some anatomically incorrect situations simply for the sake that it pleases me and I find it hot- nothing more, lol. It doesn't have to be 100% factual, it's fun and that's all that really matters! Unless you're hurting someone or doing something shitty, I really don't have a lot of issues. 😊

Again, tysm!!! 💖💖💖

[podfeels]

Podfeels Adapt8ion Notes: Episode 4

hello, dare again! just as a reminder for how these posts work, stagelights will be covering the notes as a whole, and if i ever have to pitch in it will be with purple text like this! with that said, lets get back into it!

this episode was sort of the first one we ever did, as the original demo for the project way back when (i think it was like 3 years ago now? how time flies) (yeah... its so crazy to look back on) was this episode. we did however make a few new adaptational changes, as well as re-recorded everything, as basically all of us have grown as actors since then. so before we get into the episode proper, we have an adaptational addition already!

at the beginning of each episode, we hear jess (as Narration and then june) saying the quote from the description of godfeels on ao3

these fuckers.

but since june has come out, we can’t just use the godfeels 2.1 one, and the godfeels 2.2 doesn’t necessarily fit. so we (actually i got sarah to do it!) wrote our own specifically for this episode. “My name is June Eg8ert, and now I know I’m human… but will my friends see it the same way?”

ok time for the actual episode

some fairly minor changes. i’m pretty sure the ellipses were meant to be there to help with direction for the actors but we kept them in in the scriptlog because i think they help add to the vibe of roses skepticism

this change was added to help sort of bring this in line with the epilogues. giving off the vibes she’s experiencing the symptoms she talks about in there. this part of the story takes place several months before the epilogues would have happened, so obviously it’s not as severe but its still present. 

line cut for pacing. id say less PACING and more just... sometimes narration things like this, her snapping her head, can be more cleanly conveyed in audio by just having it be incorporated into the performance. the narration described terse body language, so we nix that and deliver a terse performance!

more cut narration. at this point its kind of just routine lol

not necessarily a change but a very fun thing where junes voice and vriskas voice are layered for this line. this was actually also done with the call during the previous episode but i forgot to mention it.

more narration cuts. honestly though i have listened to this episode more than i’ve read the original version so i honestly didn’t even parse the “honestly rose” bit as a change until literally just now lmao. it flows so well that i genuinely thought it was there in the original

self explanatory. im running out of things to say.

the narration is replaced by door slam and party horn sound effects. champagne was specifically mentioned in the notes in the original google doc to be pronounced “sham-pag-in” which is probably a reference to a thing i dont get. YOU HAVENT WATCHED FUTURAMA!?!?!?

lotta cut narration. u kno the deal by now

another not-a-change but a line that gains a completely new context when combined with the actor swap. she quite literally does sound different. i think thats fun. according to sarah, that line was written back in the day with direct plans on it being in reference to her her, having played both john and june, taking a different performance when playing june. its just also taken on an even more stark meaning with having them be different actors, which i think is goddamn beautiful

just more instances of turning narration into stage directions and sound and emoticons into words and vocalizations

_____

so thats it covered! thank you to stagelights for doing the breakdowns for these episodes! check back tomorrow for episode 5's breakdown!

[cutedisneygirl]

Home at Last

My first ever Steve Rogers fic. I also need to thank @nicoline1998enilocin for the help with the smut part. She gave me some suggestions. :)

Warning: There is smut in this part. So, if you're not 18 or older you probably shouldn't read it. So, I gave you the warning. Hope you like this.

You and Steve have been married for almost 4 years. You got married on Christmas Eve three years and they have been the best three years of you life, except for the fact that Steve is gone a lot on missions. He is Captain America and works with the Avengers to save the world. He has been gone for three months and you miss him like crazy. You are a kindergarten teacher and love your job. You got the job not long after you and Steve got married. It is your dream job. You love kids and can’t wait for the day that you and Steve will have one of your own. You smile as you look down at your little belly. You found out you were pregnant three months ago. It a few weeks after Steve left. You have not been able to tell Steve yet. You have talked to him but they have been brief conversations and it wasn’t the time to tell him, but as soon as he comes home, you plan to tell him, whenever that would be.

            It is Christmas Even and your sitting on your couch watching your favorite Christmas Movie Jack Frost as you watch you think about Steve. It is your three year anniversary and he’s not here to celebrate it with you. You miss him and long for him to come home. You look out the window and see its snowing. You watch the snow falling making the ground a blanket of white. You are so wrapped up in watching the snow and the movie playing in the background that you don’t hear the door. You jump when you hear the familiar voice.

            “Darling I’m home!”

After getting over your shock you get up and run to Steve and wrap your arms around him.

            “Steve! Oh I missed you so much.”

Steve smiles and wraps his arms around you. He kisses your head. “I missed you too Darling.”

You pull back a little and look him.

“You have a beard again.”

            “Uh yeah, I wasn’t able to shave. I thought you liked my beard.”

            “I do.” You smile at him.

He looks you up and down and when he sees your little belly he stops. He then looks back up at you. You smile at him and nod.

            “Your pregnant?”

You nod again. “Yes.”

            “Oh my gosh!” he picks you and twirls you around.

 “Darling, why didn’t you tell me?”

            “Well you were always so busy and when we did talk it was always so brief I never got the chance and I also wanted to see your reaction when I you found out.”

            “Well I’m excited! I can’t wait for it to be running around the house.”

You laugh and smile. “Will you be home for a while or will you have to leave again?”

            “Nope. I’m all yours for a while. I want to cuddle with you and just spoil my lovely wife.” He says wrapping his arms around you and kissing you.

You smile.

            “Oh Steve.”

He looks up and sees the movie.

            “Oh your watching a Christmas movie?”

            “Yep. And did you forget what today is?”

            “Of course I didn’t forget. I don’t have a gift for you I’m sorry. I wasn’t able to get anywhere to….”

            “Sweetheart, you don’t have to get me anything. Your enough. Just having you finally home is a gift to me.”

            Steve smiles. “And you gave me the greatest gift ever!” he says reaching out and gently rubbing your belly.

            You smile again and then ask “Was the weather bad?”

            “No not really. But it is coming down pretty hard. It might get bad by tonight. Its supposed to get pretty cold tonight.”

            “I guess that means we will be cuddled up together close.” You said and smile.

            “You bet we will. Let me just put my stuff down and get a quick shower and I will join you on the couch and we can cuddle and watch Christmas movies.”

            “Sounds wonderful.”

Steve kisses you and then leaves the room. You go back and sit on the couch. You wait for Steve before you un-pause the movie. A few minutes later Steve walks back in the room

You smile when you see him. He walks over and sits down next to you. You immediately slide closer and wrap your arm around him and lay your head on his chest. He smiles, kisses your head and wraps his arm around you.

            “I have missed this. I missed being in your arms and having you next to me.” You say looking up at him.

            “I have missed it too. You know what else I have missed?” He smiles.

“What?”

Steve doesn’t answer he just leans down and kisses you passionately. You then know what he didn’t say. What he missed most of all, because it’s what you missed too. He continued to kiss you and deepened the kiss. He rubbed his hand up down your back. He then moved from your mouth to your neck, placing little kisses all over your neck. You giggle a little.

            “Man, I’ve missed that laugh.” He says then continues to kiss you again. Moving from your neck then pulling your shirt sleeve down a little and kissing your shoulder. His kisses feel so good, and you had almost forgotten how they felt, but you had longed for them. You wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up with him and have him inside of you. You were already starting to get a little wet and Steve had barely down anything yet, he hadn’t even touched you. You knew, you were in trouble. Steve reached for your shirt and pulled it over your head. He saw your bare chest.

            “Oh darling!” He reached up and cupped your breast slowly needing him in his hands. Then he leaned down and took one of your nipples in his mouth and gently began to lick and suck.

            “Steve…heeee.” You giggle after you say his name.

            “Tickle darling?”

            “Yes, a little, but I love it.”

Steve smiles and then moves to the other breast and does the same thing. While he is sucking your breast and reaches down and rubs you over your pj pants. He can tell even though you have pants on, that you are getting wet.

            “Wow, darling, your already getting wet. Miss me that much?” He smirks.

            “Hmmm, Steve.”

            “What do you want darling?”

            “You, I want you. I want to feel you.”

Steve smiles and stops sucking your breast and reaches for the hem of your pants.

            “Lift your bottom up.”

You do as he says and lift your bottom up and he pulls the pj pants off and they fall to the floor. He then sees you’re not wearing any underwear. You are now fully naked in front of them.

            “Wow darling, your just full of surprises tonight.”

You smile.

            “Lay back the couch.” He says.

You once again do as he says and lay back. He moves so he is over you and he reaches towards you and puts a finger over your clit and slowly begins to rub.

            “Hmmmm, oh Steve….” you moan.

            “Feel good love?” He says as he continues to rub getting a little faster.

            “Yes…. oh man…mmm.”

Steve then inserts a finger inside of you and begins to gently move it in and out.

            “Hmmmm……. oh Captain!”

Steve smiles. He always loved it when you called him that. Steve gets faster and can tell you are getting close. He pulls his finger out and then leans down and puts his lips over your clit and licks and sucks a little. “You taste so good darling.”

            “Hmmmm…. Steve….” you moan.

            “God, I love hearing you moan darling.”

            “Steve…please.”

            “Please what darling? Tell me what you want.”

            “I want you. I want to feel you.”

            “I want to feel you too darling.”

Steve was already hard and couldn’t wait to be inside of you. He stops licking your clit and sits up and removes his pants and boxers and throws them to the ground and then leans over you. You see how hard he is. Even though you and him and have done this so many times. You are a little scared. Its been a few months and you forgot how big he was.

 He lines himself up “Are you ready darling?”

You nod your head. Steve then pushes himself inside of you. “God I have missed this so much. You feel so good darling, I love how you feel with my cock inside of you.”

He begins to move slowly at first. “Steve please go faster.”

            “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

            “You won’t hurt me. Please.”

After you asked him nicely he thrust harder moving in and out.

            “Hmmmm Captain!” You moan out loudly.

            “God darling! You feel soooo good.” He moans

            “I’m….I’m…..”

            “I’ve got you darling. Let go. I’m there too.”

            “Hmmmmmm Captain!” You scream out as you let go

Steve lets go at the same time and moans out “fuuuuuuckkkkkk! Mmmmmm.” He leans his head against yours. “Wow, that was amazing darling. I have missed that so much!”

            “Me too.” You smile.

            “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Steve gets up and walks to the master bathroom and grabs a towel. He wipes himself off then grabs another towel, throwing his towel in the hamper on his way back to you. He sits down next to you and starts to wipe you gently with the towel. You smile at him.

            “I love you Steve.”

            “I love you too y/n.” He leans down and kisses you.

            “Thanks for the wonderful welcome home. I needed this after the long mission I had. I can’t wait to be able to spend some time with you. We have a while together but I will leave again.”

You smile at him. “I’m glad. I missed you so much and don’t want you to leave again.”

            “Well don’t worry darling. I’m all yours for a while. I think it will be a while before I will have to leave again. Hopefully not till after the baby is born.” He says and leans down and kisses your belly then finishes cleaning you up then throws the towel on the floor and then cuddles up next to you. You kiss him lightly and lay your head on your chest and close your eyes. You are so glad to have your Steve, Captain home.

Tag List @cevansbaby-dove @nicoline1998enilocin @sarahrogersevans @frogeezz-blog-blog @lizette50 @krissy25

Hope I didn't forget anyone on my list. If I did, I'm sorry. Just let me know and I will be sure you add you if you want to be added. :)

[ubike-official]

hi besties, uhhh bf update. God he is a completely different person w/me now. we were both in restrained customer service mode up until recently and now have both blossomed which is wow. love is real...

tidbits under the cut

so, as i speculated, hes def got something going on gender / sexuality wise. He told me last night he really likes to crossdress. And i was Not Surprised whatsoever bc yea... it tracks. And I just told him I'm bi, its cool regardless of how you view ur gender. Every one of my friends thought he was pretty feminine to begin with and that i was not beating the "lesbian trying to make it work with a man" allegations. I told him this, he just laughed and agreed that yea. its on purpose. He knows and likes to look cute which i whole heartedly support. I can't wait till he can come over and i dress him in my clothes and do his hair and makeup. It'll be great. He didn't clarify where it fully stemmed from besides wanting to feel pretty. but i dont think he himself knows if this is just an interest or smth deeper and thats fine. ill just support.

NSFW!!!

we didnt fuck but we've done sexual things. I did not expect it to go so well. i thought I'd be more hesitant as i am very reserved. ofc i have a sex drive i just handle it on my own. But yea, we were in the back of his car like humping with clothes on, he like fingered me over my underwear, feeling each other up, i was trying to jack him off over his underwear and missed it so i just grabbed his dick skin on skin which tbh i never expected myself to ever want to do that ever but no, yea. totally fine. enjoyable. He is SO Sensitive. its honestly so cute. Like sir, i am Just touching your back, why are you writhing like that and moaning into my ear ... have some decorum? uhh but ofc i loved it and kept going and yea. That sound is never leaving me. I had No Clue 4 months ago the guy who didnt even shake my hand on the first date would be moaning in my ear that he loves me. Thats craaaazy. Best Timeline though. We did this twice. The first time was in a daiso parking lot bc we needed to grab a present for his friend and after him doing all that, we composed ourselves and we So Normal inside the daiso. it was SOOO funny. Like damn, we're so good at customer service mood. its crazy.

i think he's lowkey got like oral fixation. I uh was messing around and was having him play bite my finger and then he took my thumb and sucked on it like He Knew What He Was Doing.... i never confirmed that all his past relationships were with women. He has never once used pronouns for any of them. honestly.... i have a feeling he's probably been with a guy at least once. But yeah,

We'll eventually do this right next time I'm home alone. he's never home alone and his parents are insane. Said getting each other off only ended bc his mom called. it was SOOO funny. we like instantly got off each other the second we heard the phone. it was SO synchronized. But yea, I'm loving it. We really really like each other. This relationship is so lesbian coded. Both bc well... it looks like it and also like he's already asking me "is it bad I'm thinking of ways to move in together? how many cats do you want?" like HAH GAAAY it's gonna be great. i found my person.

[fatteningmenstories]

Benched part 3

Devon was on the floor, what happened next was all a blur of events, from his leg not moving to the shooting pain in his foot it was all a blur , the paramedics rushing to him, to the ambulance and the operating table until now waking up in the hospital room.

Ajay was by his side- wearing clothes that fitted ten pounds ago, was the first thing he saw when he woke up.

“Thank God your finally awake’

Ajay said was he jumped up to hug Devon and give him a kiss on the lips, he smelled like donuts and tasted like chocolate

“You gave us quite a scare’

“What.. happened’

“Well let’s just say you faced a pretty big fall, you were basically unconscious on the floor, apparently your body was so exhausted it was on life support basically’

Getting up he faced a stinging pain in his chest and legs

“Oh and don’t try to move, u survived but you broke a couple of bones in the process not to mention you foot - it was like a 4 hour surgery trying to save it’

Startled with this news, he pulled of his sheets and low and behold there it was, his legs wrapped up in a white cast

“Doc says it should be good as new, but not for a couple of months - ha ha” he laughed hesistanlty

“God what am I gonna do’ Devon was panicking - football was his life, what would happen to him

“Don’t worry babe - come down, here have some chocolate’

“What!!!!”

“Well look around you have gift baskets galore’ taking in the room Ajay was right, gift baskets were everywhere - filled to the brim with get well soon cards and sweets

“There’s even more at home, I hope you don’t mind I’ve had a nibble hear and there” Ajay chuckled next to a nearly finished basket

‘Go on then”, the chocolate was good, tasted amazingly and at least it wasn’t in short supply - he laughed but stopped as the aching pain in his chest stung

“Anyways the doctor says you need your strength especially after your fall babe’

After signing the papers - and a lengthy discussion with his doctor encouraging him to keep his movements to a minimal, Devon was free to go.

The ride back was nice, Ajay by his side, he wasn’t expecting the press outside his front door, and in his temporary wheelchair he felt humiliated having to be carried arm in arm by Ajay and their chief. After a long phone call for his manger, it was settled that that Devon would be able return next season or as fast as his leg was healed- and his space on the field was legally not going anyway. Hanging up the phone call commenced the long haul of recovery.

“Babe I can’t eat that’

“Nonsense, doctor said you need all your strength, besides chief spent all day cooking it’

“Okay fine, but you gotta help”

“Was that even question”

The thoughts of the diet he needed to go on, had slowly faded with his new cast on, he had tried to cut back but with Ajay and chief it was like they wouldn’t take no as answer. Devon reasoned with himself, he would just have to extend his dirty bulk and have a massive cut once he was on his feet again. A small part of himself was very happy with tis conclusion, oh all this food tasted so great and a deep hunger in him needed to be satisfied, he had starved his body on kale salads for far too long.

So began the long process of recovery, its was a foodie bliss, breakfast lunch dinner and most importunely desert served straight to him 24/7. And it all tasted so good and rich finally he was seeing a price for all his hard work and it was in the from or food fit for kings. Anyways there was nothing else for Devon to do, he couldn’t leave the house in this state especially with the papz going crazy over him and his leg - he had even made the headlines for a good week all showing the prized footballer fallen form grace in crutches . He was asked for interviews and podcasts specials for weeks but he decided it was best to take this much needed time off and make the most of it. He had no obligations, he could spend all day catching up tv shows he had missed ,playing the backlog of video games and of course hot steamy sex with Ajay - who was more than happy to check charge with their handicapped partner. In fact Devon was enjoying laying back in bed and letting Ajay do all the hard work in fact he often helped himself to a wide assortment of snacks that was always in arm width not to mention the get well baskets that slowly dwindled in number. And speaking of food ,a massive plus to this new life was that he could finally eat with with no restraint - Not having to worry about training or meetings meant he could laze about all day and just pig out it was perfect, especially with Ajay by his side. And God did the pair of them eat, day in day out, it was the perfect activity as Devon stuffed his face, he felt so good, their always ate unit they couldn’t move and it wasn’t like Devon was doing much of that anyway - with his leg in the cast he would spend hours plopped down in areas of his massive townhouse. And as the months rolled passed he made sure to spend his money freely, buying Ajay all the designer clothes and jewellery he wanted, he loved to see Ajay try on all his new designer clothes and he loved it even more as he outgrew them right in front of his eye. Their chief was also basically free-reign, with Devon even moving them in to make sure their were never far he hadn’t eaten so good in years and he didn’t want it to stop . The biggest money eater of course was defiantly the food, all the finest foods and wines that money could buy was devoured day in and day out Devon and Ajay were properly eating better than royalty , especially with his dirty bulk excuse this was run so far into the ground he barley even thought about cutting back leaving him to ate with no abandonment.

After the months of never reigning in how much he was eating, his appetite explored, more pizzas more burgers more sides - more everything, chief even had to hire a side cook to keep up. Devon was being overtaken with hedonism the pleasure he got from food simply made him fro hunger for more, he was transforming form a man with a clean cut diet to one who was controlled by the gut and it was showing. Over the months it wasn’t only his appetite that grew up, his small starter gut ballooned into a a round bulging gut that demanded to be fed, and all that food it demanded was spreading itself all over his body, all over he was fattened up bulging out, his pecs puffed up into two rounded sagging lumps of fat, his once muscular arms plumped up and were now starting to squeeze outwards due to the massive amount go fat packed onto his torso. And to compensate for this massive rotund gut his thighs swelled up to match - Devon had long forgotten about pants and had resorted to lazing naked nowadays allowing his thighs to fill out as much as possible, with his once muscular butt taken the worst of it, once firm and square it was plumped up and filled with fat expanding out in all direction , and form lazing about all day the muscles he worked so hard at the gym, slowly faded away and were buried in fat all over Devon was undoubtedly fat. And the worst culprit was surely he was once gorgeous face, all that food of course fattened his face, his cheeks had rounded out and now merged with the band of fat that was nestled under is chin, given him a rounded out face that matched his rounded out body. His killer good looks remained but they were fighting a losing battle with the fat

Devon’s and Ajay’s months of bliss was soon coming to the end as after a good 6 months the Doctor finally deemed it fit that Devon was free of hi caste

“Now Devon, given your noticeably changes I’m sure moving about will be a lot harder and your leg will need to adapt to all the extra weight your putting on it’

“Oh all this’ Devon chuckled as he smaked his gut, even he was bit taken back with how soft it was,’Just a dirty bulk- it will come right off”

“Sure”, the doctor responded not sounding very confident’ Anyways I’ve signed you up with the best physio in town we will have back in uhm.. fighting shape any day

let me know on the comments how you want the story to go

[docilepillow]

MARCH 2024 MEDIA DIARY 2

I ran out of embed space on the first post i had slotted in for this!!! So i'm making two posts!!!!!!! They belong together!!!! Okay!!!!!!! PIZZA TOWER < this game is soggy goop >

Even though I cleared a good portion of this game nigh a year ago now, i still feel compelled to put it on my media diary now, as i've only just got around to finishing the game properly! I believe the point i dropped off the game before was at Pig City, which, i think , is kinda understandable given how big that level is, but, was probably a real bummer for the whole of my friend group who were super into the game when it was new and i probably missed out on talking about it alot with them... POOP!!!! just because this game is popular enough to actually warrant talking about it with my friends later, instead of saying stuff like how i enjoyed the silly cartoony art stlye and the games general charm, im just going to post a level tier list i made the second i beat the game at like near midnight kinda hazy-minded without thinking on it too hard without thinking too deeply in a way thatll be completely inflamitory bc im mostly satisfied with the experience i had and dont really feel the urge to P rank anything --

The stats are saying my total hours round up to 6 hours 50 and pepinno is pointing at me Aughh

My , , Errr, " CRITISISM " of this game is that the funny pizza man is a little, erm, STICKY? Kinda gross. a little weird. Partially my fault. I'm sowwy. I'm not very good at this game but i absolutely respect everyone's opinion on it . Go watch my friend @shoppncart's speedrun, by the way, it's cool :

Speedy! THE MARIO MOVIE < the bario boooby geheheheheheheh >

this is probably a tired opinion but since i was subjected to this movie for the fifth time in a voice call my take is thaat this is probably more enjoyablel then the safeass illumination film. like. yea. that films probably objectively better but. id rather watch something thats an actual adaptation. like this movie. where basically nothing mario happens outside names . Aw. i honestly think this movie has intrigue to it genuinely maybe im saying this bc its one of the movies ive actually watched repeatedly before, like roger rabbit, but i think the history behind this movie and the old anamocity turned-endearment are what make it worth watching. that and its a little goopy You Guys Wanna See Some MM2 Proggys? not a new piece of media technically but ive been playing a fuckton of MM2 recently still as of the end of the month and its absolutely dominating my time as of late, and i kinda wanna show off a small amount of the progress ive made on it, as much as the world map, at least --

It's a media diary. it exists to document MY gaming life. Deal. anyway in regards to it i'm almost finished with the world 4 castle, which is crazy, because before i hadn't even finished world 2, but now i got all of this creative energy in me... If i finish this soon enough, i'd be able to upload it on NSO, so keep your tumpler eyes peeled, mutrals :J I personally like it because theres a theme of aescending on the world map. The space theme in this looks the best, i think.. THE ALCHEMY OF US - HOW HUMANS AND MATTER TRANSFORMED ONE ANOTHER < what the fuck ????? a book ??????? >

yea thats right im reading books this ones actually pretty good apparently a 2020 bestseller though im not in the habit of reading those often so i'll just have to take their word for it on that aspect. i think lifes all about trying new things so around halfway through the month i picked up this cool book i found at my library and got a library card. After reading through it all, i think anecdotally that this book is a very neat read. theres a few sentences that're a little offputting to my young mind but overall the book is filled with alot of cool insight i reccomend checking out if youre the boooky type of person! i think its very good and im glad i picked it out :) i donnu how many of these will be going onto my media diary in the future or anything , but maybe i will if i end up reading more! I'll have to make it up to a friendd for waiting till now to put up something i read here first before that thing she likes. oops.

Volp. OUTSIDE of the traditional media format again, also, are things i largely started on this month but don't think i'll be making all too much more progress in, or if i'm unsure i'll finish what i was doing all in one month- CASTLEVANIA THE ADVENTURE- REBIRTH

POINT OF DROP OFF - STAGE 4 END BOSS REASON BEING - UMMM SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED AND DIED TOO MUCH

castlevania rebirth is a really really cool game. its really cool and im not typing this as fresh as everything else because it was something i picked up for one big sitting earlier in the month. i probably couldve finished it at any point during the week, but simply was too distracted and wanted to do other stuff. It's very cool though, i love the vector sprite art, and there ARE silly stock sound effects everywhere, which is always a big positive for me . I mostly just like how snug the wii classic controller is , and this is a cool game to play it with considering its one of the only non virtual console or old game collection style games available for wii in this exact style ( Not counting the good handful of games that choose to use the wiimote on its side instead. )

over all ill probably sit down and finish this someday soon i just gotta like find time for it whenever next my wii u is plugged in ( it fights for an hdmi slot with my switch and ps4 all the time...! ), and ill probably end up trying to play punch out wii at the same time, given one doesnt dominate my attention over the other. From my understanding they're both short, though, so it shouldnt be too big a deal or obstacle no matter how long i put this off. RANDOM TERRARIA PLAYTHROUGH terraria playthru 1million

ii just really want to see the new terraria update Waaaah... i stopped having fun because i self imposed myself to not use setbonus armor sets at the part of the game where that stops being acceptable anymore so im stopping i think i did get to make another terraria pet though that makes me happy POINT OF DROP OFF - the mechanical bosses

also the most recent thing is

i got too tense and needed to excuse myself after like an hour 30 i cant take too much tension in movies i was really uncomfortable and had to leave to take a breather bc the main character gets put in a really really shitty situation and it was getting hard to watch for my autistic ass

thats enough i think thanks for coming see you next month lol

[addisonacres]

That's a wrap.

2023 is on its death bed and I'm both happy and sad about that. Personally, this year has sucked on so many levels and for so many of my loved ones. But four months ago I published my first title under Addison Acres and so my foray into the world of M/M publishing began.

It has not been easy. It was a hell of a learning curve, and I still feel out of my depth some days. It's hard bloody work. I work full-time and I also study part-time so it's not like I can sit and write all day (as much as I wish I could). I needed to take the leap though because if I kept on saying 'I just don't have the time' then it was never going to happen.

I've published 2 shorts and a novella on Smashwords and I think I've done okay with them. To date I've sold 768 copies. Yes, some of them have been freebies (Draft2Digital counts those in total books sold) but hey, I'm pretty happy with those numbers. Have I made millions of dollars? Pfft, no. Have I made thousands? Yeah, nah. But I've made a about $700USD so far.

Yeah, I don't have a problem talking about stuff like this. I know a lot of people are very hush hush about money but one thing I've discovered coming into this gig is that there's very little data to measure against. Who knows if this means I've been successful? I fucking don't! But maybe another indie author will see this and go 'Hey, that's similar to what I managed' or 'I made more than that so I'm doing really well!'. So yeah, I'm happy to throw out my figures if it'll help someone else. I'm not raking in the cash, and I haven't had my first title become a crazy best-seller and I'm suddenly playing with the big kids. I'm still very much a baby in this industry, finding my way.

Ultimately, yes I got into this publishing gig to make a few extra bucks. The cost of living has sky-rocketed and my job does not pay well. I adore it though so I needed to do something to supplement what I make. This isn't going to pay off my mortgage but it's paid for a new water pump for our rainwater tank and a delivery of hay for the alpacas. I've also re-invested some of my royalties into my writing. I've purchased the Atticus software and I got a bundle of photos from Depositphotos to use for book covers.

There's still a lot I need to do. I have yet to set up a newsletter, which is much to my detriment. I feel like I need to have a NL magnet first (which is the term used for a free story readers get when they sign up for your newsletter). I feel like no one will sign up for nothing so I've not set one up yet, but I have no idea what to write for the magnet...

I've been doing a lot of promo work on FB with joining release parties and giveaways but it's hard work. The marketing side of things takes up a lot of time, which yeah, I don't have a lot of. I did set up an Instagram account but I've hardly used it as it's very, very full on and I haven't really had the spoons. I know I need to invest more time in that, and I will try in the New Year but we'll see how full the cutlery drawer is first.

I also made the choice to do Tumblr instead of Tik Tok. Probably a very stupid choice since BookTok is huge and people get a lot of exposure on there. Why didn't I? Well, firstly, I'm really not very good at making videos and editing them. It's so very time consuming. Secondly, I like Tumblr. Is it a dumpster fire? Yes. Am I a bin chicken masquerading as a human? You betcha. So, yeah, I feel comfortable here. But I know I need to invest in more time here also.

Anyway, next year is a new year. I am currently working on a project that I've told no one about because I feel if I do, I will jinx myself and my motivation will fuck off to the moon. So, there is something in the works for publishing maybe in February. I'll be looking for beta readers once I've gotten it finished so if you're interested, hit me up.

I've also created a new logo because I haven't really done that and I figured I really should. I've made 4 variations to use for different situations and I really like it. It's pretty.

Anyway, I've rambled enough. Just wanted to do a little wrap up for the year and to prove that I'm not dead lol

Enjoy the final days of 2023 and I shall catch you all on the flip side.

[fy-wonwoo]

[230809] Your friendly neighborhood GAM3 BO1 is here

WONWOO and SEVENTEEN show what makes gaming truly fun

As he progressed through Sue’s Cooking Game on a May 6 stream, Weverse Live viewers saw an awkward, almost embarrassed smile take over WONWOO’s face. “How did you know I like washing dishes?” It was an unexpected response from the SEVENTEEN member to the game over message (“Just wash the dishes”) after he failed the goal of clicking around the screen to cook ramyeon within the time limit. WONWOO isn’t terribly familiar with such simple games—he’s much more versed in games like League of Legends and PUBG: BATTLEGROUNDS that demand a combination of skilled reflexes and strategy, as his fans know. And his line about the dishes drew an affectionate laugh from them. “If you don’t know [the game], you can look at my face,” he joked (but there’s no joking about how seriously handsome he is). And his sincerity was evident when he brushed off a loss with a simple, “That’s unfortunate,” only to give it another go—all spoken in the same calm voice, and with his same signature upright posture, that he maintains as he talks through the games. And that’s how WONWOO’s GAM3 BO1 series got its start.

WONWOO’s always been a gamer. “When I was a trainee, gaming was my only hobby,” he said. Three years ago, he could be seen streaming his PUBG gameplay on the Chinese site Huya Live. When he played Crazy Arcade in the “GSVT E-Triathlon Championship 2022” episode of the group’s original series GOING SEVENTEEN last year, “you could tell he’s a real pro based on the username he chose and the way he plays,” according to Yi Yunju, leader of the PLEDIS New Media Part. WONWOO’s gaming caught the attention of not only fans but the wider public as well. When he played Stray, a game set in a dystopian future where the player takes control of a cat, he was quick to understand the overall structure of the game, immediately distinguishing those quests he felt were required to progress versus those that weren’t very important and skipping over the latter. He also made sure to show off to viewers how cute the feline protagonist could be.

The first episode of GAM3 BO1 was born out of WONWOO’s longstanding interest in and opinions on gaming. “WONWOO spoke up about wanting to start doing Lives about gaming,” lead professional Yeom Ji Been, with the HYBE Artist Content 4 Studio, said, “so we ended up putting together a team to get all the equipment ready and help film the videos.” The name of the series derives from the SEVENTEEN song “GAM3 BO1”—a hip hop unit song that features WONWOO—and was only decided in the middle of the first episode. In the two months since and up to July 28, seven episodes have been broadcast live, averaging a whopping 3.3 hours each. Yeom said it was also WONWOO who came up with the ultimate format for the show, starting with the second episode where he opened with a simple Flash game similar to Sue’s Cooking Game and warmed up with the League of Legends map Howling Abyss for ARAM play (“all random, all mid,” one of League’s gameplay modes) before moving onto the main game of the episode. “Fans were really into seeing Flash games like the Sue series,” Yeom added. Flash games were popular in the early 2000s and mainly provided through web portals, where it was easy for kids to come across and play them. These games stir up old memories for CARAT and also encourage communication between them and WONWOO as they give him tips in the chat. Viewers looking for a more complex gaming experience get to enjoy WONWOO warming up as he plays League’s Howling Abyss, followed by the main game of each broadcast, which lasts longer than the other segments. Between the games’ engaging visuals and stories, and the process involved in completing different quests, the streams become totally immersive for those watching, with no previous knowledge of the games necessary. It’s like a gift basket of goodies whether you’re into gaming or not. When WONWOO plays live, hashtags about him start trending on Twitter. He’s even brought other members of SEVENTEEN on to play with him. In all aspects, he’s just like any pro streamer.

Keep reading!

[diggity-bomb]

Now that I know I have an audience I would like to say this.

You guys use people. Simple. You guys are so afraid to be alone that you find someone to give you the attention you guys always crave for. If you deny this you guys are more delusional than I thought.

Especially you. You used me so much for years. The most codependent person I have ever met. Again, I know for a fact you will twist it around but lets go back to your actions. Someone left you. You reached out to people that you knew would forgive and forget. I should have learned my lesson. Then you did the same thing to me years ago 2x in one year. Just moving on to the next. Still after everything that happened to you recently you still don't know how to be a proper friend. Pretty talented honestly.

You never take any sort of accountability for your actions when you hurt others. Something you need to learn is actions speak louder than words. Just bc its fancy big words doesn't make it right for what you did.

Two things you need to learn 1. to be independent. Find yourself. And 2. practice what you preach. Take accountability and apologize when you hurt others. If you think that you can justify your actions and think whatever you did to hurt this person doesn't need your sincere apology it shows how selfish you are. (oh wait you never apologize to me ever)

You. Grow up. I'm sorry you hate yourself so much that you have to hurt the people around you to make yourself feel better. You can believe whatever you want to think that I was so awful to you or ruined your life blah blah blah. We both know all the things I did for you. I really appreciated you but should have known.

Now you. I want you to never think you are ever a good friend to anyone ever. I never want to hear you say I hurt you while you failed to speak the fuck up about your emotions or big feelings. Whatever excuse you have its exactly that, an excuse.

Yes, you were there for me when I was in a very toxic relationship where he pushed me to the point where I lost a lot of my friends. Grateful for that you were a friend. Or I thought so.

Its crazy to me that you made our friendship seem like the worst thing that has ever happened to you. When I believe we pushed each to be better people. You helped me through my awful relationship and I helped you learn to become an adult.

And whats crazy to me is you fucked me over so hard in so many different ways in the span of I want to say 4 months and we were friends for 7 years.

I guess when you get laid for the first time you are like a lost puppy and will just follow and listen to your owner whatever they say. (I would know I stayed with someone way too long bc they were my first) crazy it seems like there is a pattern here...

Anywho.... you fucking kept secrets from me, talked shit behind my back, told people you were just telling me what I want to hear, you never spoke up even tho I know you didn't agree with your owner, and you stabbed me in the back.

Then when it came to we say our peace you basically said you only are doing this so you can hang out with them together. Like think about that for a good second you are so fucking whipped and selfish for doing that. I was basically like not a human to you.

I sure as hell hope you start trying to become an adult. Get your shit together. Hang around people above the age of 25. Work actually full time and not leave early or bitch about it. Move out, pay rent, pay bills, you know adult things. Think about it, you are reaching a big number and I know you got some big feelings for that. Do some action, like genuinely grow up.

Now I know "omg she is playing victim like always" lol. I have always took accountability for my actions and apologized if it hurt you. Did I explain my reasoning for these actions yes. But i'm not using it as excuse its so you have better understanding. And guess what I did apologize for these certain actions. I know my problems and issues and I know that its going to take time to reach the goal so they can go away.

I hope one thing that gets taken away from this is learn to put yourself in other people shoes. I have done that with every single one of you and didn't care to do so with me.

Well I hope you asshats the best.

Grow up and get a life. (: