#its small but meaningful idk its cute to me shut up

[ven7s]

love stored in decorations

— scaramouche x gn!reader ; wc. .5k; genre fluff, hurt-comfortish?, modern!au, non-canon information + headcanons

notes. implication/mention of neglectful parents (ei & yae) and lonely childhood. business women yae and ei because i think thats very sexy of them !!! also also idk i kinda hate this but like the CONCEPT of it, just dont like the way i executed it

"hmm... move it to the left a bit more."

scaramouche lets out a huff but does as you say, moving the fake icicles to where you want it before you shout, "wait, sorry, just a little to the right."

he scowls to himself before looking back at you with a grumpy frown that elicits an apologetic smile out of you. but nevertheless, he moves the icicles once again, much to his annoyance.

he climbs down the ladder and you hurry to hold it, wrapping your arm around his waist once he's finally on the ground, and he does the same back.

you marvel at your house, but not long after you hear scaramouche grumbling, complaining about how cold it is and how he doesn't get why you two have to do this every year.

"because it's nice to see our house decorated. doesn't it make you feel cozy and more… holidayish? besides the kids around the neighborhood like it!"

he scoffs, but you know he acknowledges your words when he starts to grab the string lights out of the box of decorations. you smile and go to hold the ladder again as scaramouche climbs up to further adorn the house.

he gets your reasoning.

he looks back at his childhood, often recalling the memories of him walking back home from school only to see the houses that lined his street filled to the brim with decorations ranging from lights on bushes to huge inflatables and candy canes hanging from rooves.

his favorite was always yoimiya’s, whose parents always went all out, every year.

then he remembers his house. big, but empty, with no air of that fond and nostalgic feeling that holidays so often filled people with.

he knows that his moms are back in japan, attending to their work, ei and yae being far too busy with their businesses to worry about decorating the house for a holiday that only lasts for a month.

he remembers holidays often just being him and his nanny with a letter sent to him from his moms. a few short sentences of "happy holidays! sorry we couldn't make it this year again.. next year for sure! we miss you!"

so, when you first “forced” him to decorate your shared home with you he obliged, albeit a bit annoyed. now, he still feels annoyed, hating the coldness of winter, but he reminds himself that the end result will be worth it, hoping that other kids would feel the joy and warmth he felt as a kid, like he felt when he looked at yoimiya’s.

(and of course, he would never admit it, but he actually finds himself having fun. reliving his childhood dream of decorating the house during the season that filled him with so much dread as a kid with a loved one.)

its all the reason why he’s outside in the frosty weather that indicates the start of december in his rudolph pajamas (matching with your santa pajamas), hanging up ornaments and lights.

once he comes down again, you smile, “it looks great. thanks for the help,” kissing scaramouche on the cheek before leaning your head on his shoulder.

“yeah,” he hums, “it looks nice.”

a/n: HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!! hope everyone stays safe !!

[justastraightupmess]

💘 p e r i s h.

where they first met and how

touma dropped his fkin burger and levi laughed his ass off at how distraught he seemed. then touma was like “doki doki” but in an art way and wanted him to be his muse, to which levi obviously said yes ://

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

Hmmmm, for levi it was a gradual thing. he’s fairly quick to catch feels, but the just rlly started getting more and more serious. it started off with, oh hes cute, then i wanna smooch his face, then i wanna date & fuck him.toUMA is still all. fkin touma i guess so ://// levi would like to know exACTLY how he feels for him immediately pls. 

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Levi. definitely.

where their first date was and what it was like

Touma probably took Levi to some art exhibition and it was boring as shit for Levi but he was just happy to be there, Touma felt bad though and tries to pick better places in the future. 

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

lmao. Levi confessed his feelings bc he was acting like a jealous asshole and ruined Touma’s date so does that count??

who proposes first

I mean. It’d have to be Touma bc Levi refuses to be the one to propose he wants to be proposed to, only he’s dropping not at all subtle hints for like 6 months so. 

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

loooooool. hidden. very much hidden. 

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

It’d probably be more on the private side of things. I feel like either Touma would try to make it a lil romantic, nothing like massive, but just some cute meaningful things, maybe over dinner. Or alternatively he fucks up royally/chickens out too much, and like Levi finds the fucking ring in his sock draw and comes out crying like “tf is this??? are you-- omg yesyesyesyeyes” and touma’s like “gfdi i didn’t even propose yet levi u cant say yes yet jfc my life is a mess”

if they adopt any pets together

Levi loves pets !!!! he loves animals !!! he’d want a pet. except touma would want a snake and levi refuses to be anywhere near it while he feeds it ://

who’s more dominant

ahhhhh i mean, i feel like Levi is definitely capable of being more dominant, but as it stands at least he sides a little more on the submissive, or at least like just a bit of a brat rather than dominant side of things. levi loooooves it when touma sudden;y gets a little dominant like hes wEAk for that. But i think later on when Levi tops bc its gonna happen at some point his more dominant side will come out. Anyway they’re both switches so I guess it depends ??

where their first kiss was and what it was like

that one time on the couch when levi just said he wanted to rest on touma but then it turned into cuddling and then oops he kissed him then oops it turned into more :///

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

levi would adamantly encourage this behavior, but he’d have to force it on touma. probably just small things around the house tho definitely not something they’d wear in public or anything. 

how into pda they are

well -- levi is super into it but he is taking it very very slow for touma 

who holds the umbrella when it rains

either or ?? they dont have a big height difference so it doesnt matter

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

at home bc touma has no money and never leaves his fkin house 

who’s more protective

probably neither rlly?? but maybe levi

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

mmmm it probably won’t take long lmao. levi is ready to go whenever touma is 

if they argue about anything

I’m actually surprised they don’t argue more often bc levi is a shit, but touma is such a pushover he lets him get away with too much. I think down the track they’ll definitely run into some issues abt levi feeling neglected and also pda stuff tho

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

it’s pretty even. they both leave a lot off hickeys in a lot of places, but levi also likes to leave some scratches from time to time

who steals whose clothes and how often

LOL LEVI WOULD NOT STEAL ANYTHING FROM HIS WARDROBE SOZ TOUMA BUT NO. and touma doesnt care abt that stuff so he wouldn’t either

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

near constantly and it’s mostly just levi lining to touma for dear life. levi is on him all the damn time. any kind of cuddle he can get tbh.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

that doesnt exist to levi :// maybe just ?? chilling at home ?? watching smth ?? cuddling ??

how long they stay mad at each other

touma is a pushover so not long. levi can hold a fkin grudge and will until touma apologizes then he’s over it, so however long that takes, but also hes petty so he’d bring it up again.

if they ever have any children together

pls never let either of them have a child together pls they are not ready. maybe when they’re older but i doubt it

if they have any special pet names for each other

uhhhhh minou, mon amour, tou, lev, senpai-kohai 

if they ever split up and / or get back together

yIKEs. big potential for this but i fkin hope not. they’re are a lot of things that could go wrong

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

clean, levi doesn’t like a mess. he had to designate a special space for touma to paint bc he cant deal with all that mess

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

sad and lonely probably bc levi was away from home and touma is a shut in. 

what their names are in each other’s phones

touma would literally just have “levi” with nothing extra or emojis and levi would have “touma” with one thousand emojis

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

they probably don’t have anything like that tbh

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

touma falls asleep first and levi wakes up first 

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

they switch

who hogs the bathroom

fucking levi ofc

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

touma for sure if he thinks levi is going near that spider he has another thing coming 

where they first met and how

at school and they didn’t rlly like each other at first :/

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

they didn’t have a fkin flirting phase they had a friends phase then everett caught feels and now they’re friends that fuck. feelings from luke are just starting to get involved but they’ve got a while to go

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

ev fell first like the dumbass he is

where their first date was and what it was like

luke tried to take him to a movie and then dinner all traditional and romantic but its dumb and they both hate it

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

i guess luke “officially” asks him out. probably just being dumb and all shy abt it tho

who proposes first

luke. probably has to a million times bc ev is all fuk the man and stuff

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

a secret bc ev can’t and luke rlly doesnt want it getting out right away

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

it’s only probably rlly dumb, like they’re just sitting on the couch watching tv, ev has half a soft pretzel shoved in his mouth and luke just looks over like “will you just fkin marry me you idiot ??”

if they adopt any pets together

probably at some point i feel. maybe a dog or a cat. and then ofc ev is like “we dont need to have kids we have the cat/dog” and luke is like “no”

who’s more dominant

HA. Luke easily 

where their first kiss was and what it was like

on the couch, everett teasing him followed by luke losing his shit right after 

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

god no. everett would straight up refuse and i highly doubt luke would want any of that anyway

how into pda they are

not very ?? i doubt they’d be much different to how they are now anyway?? 

who holds the umbrella when it rains

luke bc he’s taller and also bc hes a big strong man obvi

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

i doubt they have one since someone refuses to go on dates :////

who’s more protective

they’re actually both pretty damn protective tbh, but definitely luke bc he borders on/is super possessive lmao 

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

...........well if u count blow jobs it didn’t take long at aLL but uh. actual sex will take a while bc ev is a virgin and luke is a little scared to go that gay :/

if they argue about anything

HA. IF. good joke. they argue about everything, literally everything. 

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

I think they both would leave their fair share of marks tbh

who steals whose clothes and how often

Eeeeevvvvvvvv all the time. half bc hes just trying to be a brat and educe luke :/

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

at first probably just spooning until they get a little more comfortable with each other and then face to face too 

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

does fighting count?

how long they stay mad at each other

oh boi. they can both stay mad for aaaaaagggeeessssss. it probably just depends on whether luke is willing to give in first bc as soon as he mellows ev does too

if they ever have any children together

B|  well. they’re at a bit of an impasse rn so we’ll see lmao

if they have any special pet names for each other

maybe all of their countless insults?? also ev and lu/lulu

if they ever split up and / or get back together

idk. i don’t think they’d split up unless they meant it for reals. they’ll fight but they’d both stick it out and try to fix it unless it was something that rlly couldn’t be fixed. so if they split up it’d probably be for good. or at least for a few years or smth ??

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

probably clean bc luke makes a good househusband and cleans up when he’s bothered 

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

just happy. luke would be happy to be chilled and relaxed and with ev and not with his parents lmao 

what their names are in each other’s phones

it’s probably “dumbass moron” and “giant prick” 

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

yeah no theres no way they do that shit

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

they probably sleep at the same ish time and ev wakes up first

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

usually luke is the big spoon but i also love the idea of everett just wrapping himself around luke sometimes too

who hogs the bathroom

ev more than luke, luke doesnt rlly give a shit abt his looks he’s in and out done. 

who kills the spiders / takes them outside 

luke hates them but he’ll catch them and put them out, cringing the whole time

where they first met and how

andrew “saved” daiki from being hit on and it was all downhill from there

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

uhhhh. well i guess from daiki the two were interchangeable??? andy caught feelings pretty quickly but he just doesn’t realize what they are

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

i guess daiki did in his weird daiki way

where their first date was and what it was like

what fkin date all daiki does is get frisky :///

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

daiki does except he does it through trying to fuck him all the time

who proposes first

daiki would it honestly wouldn’t even cross andy’s mind and then he’d be shooketh

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

they wouldn’t hide it but i dont think they’d broadcast it to the world either 

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

probably mid-fuck or smth honestly daiki is trash. he probably just says “i wanna fuck u for the rest of my life bunny~

if they adopt any pets together

well there’s mottle, andy very very very slowly warms up to her but thats abt it

who’s more dominant

oh andy obviously ://///

where their first kiss was and what it was like

the day they fkin met bc daiki is trash

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

i could see daiki ironically buying smth rlly dumb for them both to wear

how into pda they are

if by pda u mean daiki trying to fuck him in public -- very 

who holds the umbrella when it rains

Andrew brought it with them but Daiki holds it

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

any place they go camping 

who’s more protective

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiki

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

B| not very fkin long jesus

if they argue about anything

abt daiki being possessive and violent, and also eventually abt him not treating andy like a person and treating him like a fleshlight constantly 

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Daiki, bc hes a possessive fuck

who steals whose clothes and how often

Uhhh andy does sometimes?? not often. just bc it was cold and his hoodie was there so :/ he ends up getting fucked in it tho so

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

Both, except it doesn’t stay as cuddling for long bc daiki is trash

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

nonsexual activity ?? don’t know her 

how long they stay mad at each other

andy is weak, so most of the time not long, unless it’s something serious then he’ll hold his ground. 

if they ever have any children together

please dear god don’t let daiki procreate ever no

if they have any special pet names for each other

bunny. 

if they ever split up and / or get back together

it’s possible. if daiki doesn’t change his act and stop being conSTANTLY sexual and if he doesn’t stop his life of crime. 

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Clean bc andy is organized and clean

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

shit bc daiki only gives sexual presents and andy actually puts thought into his gifts

what their names are in each other’s phones

“bunny” and “daiki” bc andy is simple

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

their couple tradition is making andy cry

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

andy falls asleep first and wakes up first 

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

andy is the little spoon daiki big spoon

who hogs the bathroom

neither rlly ??

who kills the spiders / takes them outside 

daiki. 

where they first met and how

adonis was hired for a job and it went horribly 

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

i dont think they rlly flirted so much as it’d just be friendship and then caught feels

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

it was probably adonis tbh, after he got passed his initial anger he realized mitsuki was a good person and got a big ass puppy crush on him 

where their first date was and what it was like

playing video games and mitsuki realizing just how terrible adonis is at them, they try like so many different types to see if he’ll be better at them but he is not

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

it probably wasn’t anything special?? just confessing and then asking naturally through that??

who proposes first

idk but i kinda like the idea of adonis doing it

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

they wouldn’t hide it tbh they’d jsut walk around holding hands or smth and ppl would know ??

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

nothing big, but probably a little cheesy. adonis says smth like “will you be my romantic interest forever? without u there’s nothing to drive me towards my character development” or some shit idk. but it’s cute and hes laughing as he says it and all blushy and adorable okay

if they adopt any pets together

well they’ll have that devil dog so i guess :/

who’s more dominant

somehow mitsuki is :/ but maybe one day adonis will be able to

where their first kiss was and what it was like

probably terrible and messy and they hit each other’s faces or smth

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

ohhhh adonis would love that. give him the matching mugs 

how into pda they are

not super, adonis just wants to hold his hand. but also apparently super in pdsexual intercourse

who holds the umbrella when it rains

either or??

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

finishing mitsuki’s manuscripts 

who’s more protective

hmmmm it’s probably equal?? not super protective or anything but they’d stand up for each other when they needed to 

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

apparently not long rip

if they argue about anything

they argue abt mitsuki being gross

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

adonis leaves a lot of scratches 

who steals whose clothes and how often

adonis rlly likes wearing mitsuki’s clothes bc they smell like him and its nice

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

probably facing each other and being super mushy and gross and pure

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

games. even tho adonis sucks

how long they stay mad at each other

not long at all

if they ever have any children together

i doubt it, neither seem that interested in having kids

if they have any special pet names for each other

Suki and Adonny

if they ever split up and / or get back together

Doubt it. They dont rlly fight or anything so??

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Not super messy but not super clean either

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

well -- santa ended up riding his reindeer 

what their names are in each other’s phones

“Adonyais” and “Mitsuki

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

every year they buy a new game for adonis to play bc it literally takes him a year to beat the game sometimes that snot even enough

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

adonis is first for both, being awake at night time without sun is actually pretty draining for him

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

they swap

who hogs the bathroom

adonis but not a lot

who kills the spiders / takes them outside 

mitsuki

[theanatomyletter]

here is a perfectly sane response to the climate emergency

Right so like 3 days ago once everyone found out a couple weeks too late that the literal amazon rainforest is on fire I went into a sort of anxiety/depressive spiral and it was terrifying!!! I was scared and shocked out of doing anything and kept thinking of all the bad things that are happening and how we are all going 2 die and kept thinking of how to make more ppl understand that climate destruction is part of the same racist project as white imperialism and I’m !!! Stressed !! And I was scared and freaked out!!! I remember as a kid one of my favourite things ever was the book Journey To The River Sea by Eva Ibbotson and I s2g that book made me a person it taught me so many things about what it means to love a place and to be alive in the world and how to sustain a sense of self and community in meaningful connection with that it means to be alive and here and breathing and it’s a book about the rainforest and the river and so I’ve just been,, thinking of it a lot, little blue butterfly from the cover floating thru my brain and all that. It’s hard!!! I thought I was afraid of not saving/earning enough money to do a masters next year but I was actually afraid of the consequences of the climate emergency. Pay more attention to your emotions and honour them for what they are and figure out what is at stake for you, what does it make you feel that the world is in crisis. I think that’s important

Depressing chat aside after I panicked and felt radicalised (what does that even mean?) I found this twitter thread which was basically like these are all the terrible things that can happen and here is how we stop them and at first I felt SO SCARED because there’s NO WAY we can actually organise mass strikes at this scale!!!! We have never had to organise at this scale before, I panicked and got really scared and went on a rant about how we have to use existing structures to fix things because we don’t have the time or resources to organise at this scale but like. I now think we actually do, I found this resource for organising strikes globally from 20TH TO 27TH SEPTEMBER and like, we have the Internet and we have a month to plan and prepare and if you are able to strike you absolutely should !!!!!! There are people smarter than me speaking to the urgency of this, I’m just having some feelings and writing this on my phone notes, but like. Read about strikes in your area. If there aren’t any, find resources to help organise one. Text your friends your colleagues your family whatsapp group the people you went to school with, spread the word and organise how you will sustain your community in that time

As a side note after I went on panic rants all over my social media I think I realised that terrifying people into frenzied action won’t work because it’ll often just scare them into inaction (that’s what it did to me) and I felt better only once I found that resource for actual organisation, the mass general strike felt like an impossible project until I found out it’s already being planned. So like, don’t be helplessly scared, we have multiple years to fix things, and I think this is important: REMEMBER TO BE ALIVE AND HERE AND BREATHING, it’s important to actually feel the absolute miracle that is consciousness otherwise all of the saving the world will have been for nothing. Take photos of your friends and give hugs to your pets and get drunk and go dancing and remember that what matters is that feeling of being so achingly alive and aware of your existence in the world when you look at the sky and feel dizzy with how small you are and how yet the whole universe is inside of your brain, remember to breathe and feel glorious and loud and bright and reckless.

On that note, I was having a hard time giving a shit about much but I copped on a bit after I talked to my friend Naoise Dolan (buy her book it is out soon !!!) I felt like calmer and more like I was allowed to enjoy things and write things (that’s why I finally pulled it together enough to do this) and so I LISTENED TO THE NEW TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM ON REPEAT and I’ve decided I love it, here is my ranking of all its songs from worst to best, I have so many thoughts, the lyrics are golden, I’m so happy to be alive in the world at a time we can make things better and listen to music like this that’s tailor made (sorry) for us to forget about any guilt we may feel from bopping to boardroom produced songs about corporate feminism

18. Miss Americana and whoever the fuck

Idk what this obsession is with high school motifs (shout out Mike Dolan for pointing this out) like it’s just weird for a 29 yr old to use school as a metaphor for her love life. The “you win stupid prizes” bit sounds nice though. It’s like a low-key creepy obsessive song like why is she doing that funny voice? Is it meant to sound vaguely haunted? What���s going on

I’m also just tired of “America” (the white kind) as a cultural construct and it being used as an expression of identity in popular culture like we get it you built a nationalism out of “gas stations” and “hallways” and “whatever” but you’re still racist, Stop. Like it’s just an inherently violent construct and nobody white is reckoning with it responsibly so at least maybe stop romanticising it or just shut up. Heck yea I’m reading too much into this. I do what I want

17. You Need to Calm Down

This song is bad. It’s so bad. The lyrics are pointless, the ohoHHHH is annoying, her voice is irritating, it’s also just gross and patronising and tries to do twelve things at once (are we leading a parade to pat ourselves on the back for telling homophobes to “take several seats” or are we saying we “all have crowns” wtv that means?)

This song is actually just gross and it doesnt even SOUND GOOD

16. ME

It’s less problematic than you need to calm down and that’s the only reason it’s slightly less bad. It’s a garbage song idk why it exists i’m so mad at it

15. Paper rings

IM SORRY tHe mOoN is HIGH like your friends were the night that we first met I’m sorry WHAT miss swift we get it you have been near drugs, Jesus CHRIST this song is a juvenile childish self important mess. The lyrics r awful and her voice is sneaky and weird and she does weird noises and the chorus is dumb like the “uhuh that’s right” makes me want to give CHITTAR. Also she says darling WAY too much in this album like we get it you’re dating a Brit. It’s not The Worst song because if you pay zero attention to the lyrics or her voice it’s kind of fine sounding? It’s so bad tho lol, I remember when she wrote Mine and the video came out I was like wow wild this is weird and adult and why are you pregnant but this one is even MORE weird. I also HATE every time she says dreary mondays and “baby boy” (GROSS) and I hate that she keeps repeating it lol. The I hate accidents line is kind of fine

14. I forgot that you existed

I hate the lyrics and I hate the premise (we get it you’re indifferent that’s why you wrote a whole song about it) BUT it’s such a bop, it’s very /this feels like a perfect night to make fun of our exes/ vibes and I would be LYING if I said I didn’t enjoy that. Yes we exists

We are pretending her fake laughter and starting to talk in the middle of songs things isn’t real though. It wasn’t cute in we are never ever etc and isn’t cute now

13. I think he knows

I love the 16th avenue bit, it fills me with giddy happiness, the rest of the song is shit, and also lazy. Also stop being obsessed with being 17, it was weird in starlight and is weird now

The bridge is also sort of nice but not nice enough to redeem the rest of it

12. London Boy

Im sorry I promise I know this song is bad. It is bad. I hope it’s ironic? But it’s bad. It’s a weird colonialism complex fetishisation of posh brit whiteness and its even more gross when it’s like “btw IM american, DOUBLE whiteness”, it’s icky and bad. It is a bad song. I apologise for enjoying it and I promise I am ashamed but also u know what, if you ignore the lyrics entirely and pretend you’re 15 and un-enlightened about the violence inherent to the fetishisation of an english identity……….maybe a fun tune. I know. I know. I am sorry. I promise I enjoy it only ironically

11. The man

Corporate white lady feminism? With the word HUSTLE in it? In this economy? Yes obviously

The lyrics are a bit ehhhh but some of them are quite clever and I think she’s quite honest in this song in a rare sort of way without trying to exaggerate it for shock value and it’s a very like, this is my life, here you go, sort of tune, it doesn’t do anything for women’s rights but I think it sounds nice and is probably fun to dance to, and “I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man” and “if I were a man, I’d be the man” are fUN lines !!! Idk how wild this comparison is but like, I feel this song is trying to deal with similar things as I know places (a very privileged rant, if you will, without much self awareness) but I think The Man does it better because it’s less self important and has less ambition about it solving or expressing the world’s worst problems.

10. False God

Ok, so, what is it with the religious motifs in this album, i don’t get it, though it kinda works a lot in this song? I wanted to rank this higher but after a few listens it got slightly grating, the beginning is a bit unecessary too? Like it’s trying to create this weirdly artificial aura of glamour and sophistication, it’s quite an unnerving and haunting song and I quite like that about it and it makes me a bit surprised and startled. This thing she’s doing with like slow, building, repeating tunes i think has worked the best in this song (we might just, get away with this, religion’s in your lips e-,ven if its a False gOd) also, THE ALTAR’S IN MY HIPS, OOF, the chorus does the trick honestly and i love when she’s like slightly laughing but in a wry sort of way. Love it tbh, something about it just makes me a bit stressed though and not in an intentional way (i think)

9. It’s Nice To Have a Friend

Miss taylor who gave you the RIGHT, to shove your hand into my chest and grab my heart and step all over it. I love it and it makes me cry and it’s so soft and sweet. Zero complaints abt it it’s a beautiful song. There r just MULTIPLE EXTREMELY GOOD SONGS that’s why it’s not like my absolute fav and im confused too as to why it’s so low but like. Idk. it is a very soft and sweet song. I love it. If anything maybe it’s a bit uncreative n lazy but i think that’s slightly on purpose so doesn’t rlly constitute a criticism

8. Death by a thousand cuts

I like this song a lot a lot. The lyrics are SO GOOD IM SO HAPPY SHES DOING GOOD LYRICS AGAIN. I love the “one for the agEs” line and i’m generally a slut for any mention of chandeliers in music or poetry (dont ask), her voice is delicate but proud and wild and i’m a fan, honestly, cannot wait to bop to this. The My my my bit is annoying tho

7. The archer

I HATE the bit where she says CoMbAt but otherwise this song is soft and lovely and gentle and I love it !!!!! I love the lyrics and I love her gentle restraint of how she slowly unfurls them and then let’s go in “help me hold onto you”, there is such a commanding frankness to it, it’s an ask for collaboration, an ask for honesty, an ask for I want to do this with you

I think it’s one of the strongest tracks lyrically and she also shows like great skill vocally which has been annoyingly missing from so much of what she’s recently produced. I feel like there’s a bunch of annoying stylistic choices (the they see right thru me bit is grating) but like the song overall is lovely, I think you can feel in her voice she knows she’s created something good and it’s not the usually insufferable IM A GENIUS vibe. WHO COULD EVER LEAVE ME DARLING, BUT WHO COULD STAY !!!

6. Soon you’ll get better

Made me cry. We’re not talking about this one

5. Lover

This song is soft loving, slow whispers, careful realisations that you can build a life with whatever you like and love will save everything, I love it, I love it I love it I love it, “can I go where you go?” moves me to tEARS it is such a soft and gentle expression of care, it is such a kindness, it’s such surrendering, such reckless care, I love it so much, it’s so hopeful and also sure, it’s so frightful but also unafraid. I think this is one of Taylor’s most earnest songs ever and it does the thing of combining that earnestness with brazen daring that doesn’t turn into embarrassment only because she commands her lyrics with such certainty, and that’s rare and often I think that daring has ended badly for her (LOL most of reputation) but here it’s done so beautifully and w so much happiness and LOVE, this song is truly just a beautiful lil piece of art with so much happiness dripping thru it

4. Cornelia Street

This song. This SONG. It builds up so beautifully with this ever so slightly hesitant fascination with its own emotions, i’m so obsessed with it, the lyrics are lovely and perfect, i was expecting it to feel slightly forced and oddly specific because wtf is a cornelia street anyway, but it WORKS. I think it wants me to think of like a glowy streetlighty street and it DOES THAT, “filling in the blanks as we gooooo” sounds so gorgeous and does that thing with her voice which literally is just showing off that Yes She Does Know How To Sing and it’s so certain and sure and restrained and open and bare (again in “i thought you were leading me onnnnn”). Also, “the city screams your name” should be a tired cliche but its just an excited expression of abandon im,, in love. The song is so shaky and uncertain but completely confident and relaxed at the same time and it FEELS EXACTLY LIKE COMING TO TERMS WITH BEING IN LOVE AND WANTING IT TO LAST FOREVER, also like, when did she learn how to write good bridges again because yEs

3. Daylight

Solely for the lines “i’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye // i don’t want to look at anything else now that i saw you” she deserves a grammy it actually pierces my emotions and makes me want 2 explode, this song is sooooo lovely and it has the vibe that makes me feel like i’ve already heard it years ago (but maybe thats because ive had the album on repeat 2 days straight) but it’s just,,, very good and it feels like sunset and glitter and i think is a perfect ending to a great album i love how it builds intensity and then strips it down and just,,, love it.

2. Afterglow

This is i think, one of the most beautiful things this woman has ever produced, one of the loveliest and most powerful songs ever made, i love it so very much. She finally learnt how to do autotune properly lol, this song is like, a crescendo of emotion, everything is falling down around it and it’s like a little haven of bare, frank honesty and complete surrender, of complete vulnerability, the whole song sounds like an act of care and an act of expressing pure emotion, it’s so gorgeous. It moves so softly and doubles in on itself and she’s sorry and sad but so proud of this love and so certain of its importance, “i’m the one who burnt us down”, it’s such a zooming in on a very specific emotion and it’s done so well, i love it

1. Cruel summer

I LOVE THIS SONG. I LOVE THIS SONG. The lyrics are flighty and exciting and shivery, WHAT DOESNT KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE- plug that shit into my VEINS. This song makes me feel like it’s 2015 and nothing is real yet and I’m living inside a YA novel and my biggest problem is my crush being mean to me and I’m RELISHING in that freedom and indulging every last drop of emotion because being alive and paying attention to it is incredible and Extremely Cool Actually (I DONT WANT TO KEEP SECRETS JUST TO KEEP YOU, dead right gal)

That said. Organise for the climate strike. Read up on what’s going on so you can answer questions in your family whatsapp group. Field those conversation, DO THAT EMOTIONAL LABOUR (again, what even), spread the word. But take care of yourself !!!! Listen to Taylor swift and remember that we are an absolute joke of a species, we went to the MOON, we can do this, I love you

[lonelysetter-blog1]

Oikawa-senpai (One-shot)

Oikawa discovers that the other captains have their own Karasuno first-years that they’ve adopted as their kouhai, and he wants to have one, as well. His quest for a cute crow kouhai commences. 

Word Count: 2k (Phone users, I’m sorry)

~Elle

Group Chat Name: Volleydads

Sawamura Daichi: Remind me why we picked that name again? Kurohohoho: we’ve all been told that we act parent-like, so it’s only fitting sawamura Kurohohoho: well, except for bokuto Bokutohoho: EXCUSE YOU Kurohohoho: bro has anyone ever told you that you act like a dad Bokutohoho: …no Kurohohoho: dw bro you’re still a role model to your kouhai Bokutohoho: HAHA YEAH I AM Kurohohoho: speaking of kouhai how are ours over at karasuno sawamura Sawamura Daichi: Loud. Sawamura Daichi: And they’re not your kouhai. Kurohohoho: wow overprotective dad much Sawamura Daichi: Shut up. Kurohohoho: :0 Bokutohoho: :0 Oikalicious: yaho~ what’s this about kouhais (^・ω・^ ) Sawamura Daichi: Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san have stolen my kouhais’ admiration from me. Bokutohoho: LMAO Kurohohoho: rip dadchi Kurohohoho: that was a typo but its the best typo i’ve ever made Oikalicious: wait so you all have karasuno kouhais ఠ_ఠ Bokutohoho:  YUP AND THEY LOVE US Kurohohoho: bokuto’s loves him, idk about mine Kurohohoho: but we did adopt them as our kouhai Bokutohoho: AND MINE LOVES ME MORE THAN SAWAMURA Sawamura Daichi: I will FIGHT you. Kurohohoho: uh oh dadchi’s using caps lock Oikalicious: i feel left out i want a cute karasuno kouhai ಠ╭╮ಠ Kurohohoho: lmao rip  Bokutohoho: STAY AWAY FROM OUR KIDS Sawamura Daichi: Shouldn’t I be the one to say that line? Kurohohoho: omg you dads Bokutohoho: IM FINALLY A FATHER Oikalicious: that’s no fair i want one (´Д｀。)

Oikawa sighed and put his phone away in his pocket. He pouted to himself as he changed out of his training uniform, gathered his things, left the locker room, and met up with Iwaizumi at the gym’s exit door.

The pair began to leave the school campus. The sky was already tinted with warm hues that can only be produced by sunsets. They could have left sooner if Oikawa had not been on his phone for so long. However, Oikawa was still silent, which was concerning. Iwaizumi turned to see his friend pouting.

“What’s up? Why’re you pouting?” Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows at him.

“Iwa-chan~, I want a cute Karasuno kouhai,” Oikawa whined.

The ace furrowed his eyebrows even more.

“I was talking to the captains in other schools, and they told me how they all have kouhai in Karasuno,” Oikawa explained.

“Don’t you have Kageyama, though?” Iwaizumi countered.

Oikawa’s face twisted in disgust, “Tobio-chan isn’t cute.”

“You’re not cute, Kusokawa,” Iwaizumi muttered to himself.

Oikawa didn’t reply. He only pondered of ways he can possibly recruit one of the younger Karasuno players. Iwaizumi wondered what Oikawa could possibly be thinking about, and if he would have to prevent Oikawa from doing something that could perhaps be considered a felony.

As the pair reached Oikawa’s house, they began to say goodbye to each other and separate.

“Ah, wait! Iwa-chan!” Oikawa called for his friend.

Iwaizumi turned around, “Yeah?”

“I’m not gonna be home until later in the afternoon tomorrow,” Oikawa responded.

Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows, “What are you planning to do?”

Oikawa winked, smiled cheekily, and stuck his tongue out, “Nothing you should be concerned about, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi only felt dread, “You better not get in trouble, Kusokawa. I don’t feel like getting in trouble with Karasuno’s captain.”

Oikawa made himself appear confused, “Why would you assume I’m going to Karasuno?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Kusokawa. You’re easy for me to read,” Iwaizumi scowled. “Bye.”

Oikawa widened his eyes, but smiled to himself afterwards. He should’ve known Iwaizumi wouldn’t see past him.

The next day was a day off for all Aoba Johsai students, and there was no practice for the school’s volleyball club, either. Oikawa was going to spend his free day observing the Karasuno volleyball team. He stood outside the school building, but had no idea where the team practices. Perhaps he didn’t think this plan out very well.

Oikawa spotted a girl that was walking towards the building, and decided that she might not become very suspicious of him.

“Excuse me?” Oikawa called for her.

The girl lifted her head, and her eyes widened.

“Sorry, but could a lovely lady such as yourself direct me to where the volleyball team practices?” Oikawa spoke with a smooth voice and gave her a charming smile. The girl began to blush intensely, and adjust the ribbons in her red hair. She was baited.

“O-oh, um…they practice in the second gym…I think,” she stuttered.

“Ah, I don’t know where that is, I’m afraid. Can you take me there? I’m new here, so I still get lost,” Oikawa smiled sheepishly and put his hand on the back of his head.

“Of course!” The girl responded, perhaps a bit too eagerly.

“Thank you. You’re very kind,” Oikawa gave her another one of his plastic, yet charming smiles.

He was escorted to the gym by the tiny, blushing girl. After waving goodbye and expressing his gratitude again, he began to look through the window of the gym. He found them.

The team was playing a 6 on 6 against each other. Oikawa watched intently as the players used the same tricks they used against them in their Spring High match. The setter couldn’t help but scowl. He had to remind himself that he came here on a different mission without malicious intentions.

“Oikawa-san?”

Oikawa stiffened, and turned to his left to see Sawamura standing at the entrance to the gym. Oikawa gave an actual sheepish smile, “Oh… Hi, Sawamura-kun.”

“Just come in. Your legs are going to get tired,” Sawamura sighed.

Oikawa gave his thanks and walked inside. Some of the players turned to see him, and they wore astonished looks on their faces. The small redhead had the most hilarious reaction to him, letting out what sounded like a squawk and slightly trembling.

“Yaho~, Chibi-chan,” Oikawa grinned at him. The small boy only looked at him incredulously and put his hands up. The setter was surprised. He didn’t think he was that intimidating.

“Relax, I’m just here to talk to you,” Oikawa laughed a bit. The redhead calmed himself down a bit.

“You’re an impressive player, you know,” Oikawa gave him a genuine compliment. He always found the tiny middle blocker interesting and fun to watch, and he has wondered what tossing to him would be like.

The boy stood speechless with his mouth agape. What a meaningful conversation!

Oikawa tried again, “I’d really like to set for you one day, if you’re interested.”

The boy suddenly stood up straight, “I-I’m sorry, Daiou-sama… I already have a senpai and he’d grow depressed if I were to leave him.”

“Seriously? Who?” Oikawa furrowed his eyebrows.

“Bokuto Koutarou, the ace from Fukurodani. He’s so cool! He’s one of the top five spikers in all of Japan!” The redhead exclaimed. Oikawa was now the one to have an incredulous look on his face. He hopes Bokuto won’t find out about this encounter.

“Ah, I see. My apologies, Chibi-chan,” Oikawa smiled.

The redhead waved his hands and tried to tell him that he didn’t need to do so. Oikawa stiffened a bit when he turned to see the grey haired setter glaring at him. He felt chills going down his spine. Who knew Mr. Refreshing could be so scary…

Oikawa turned to see the tall, blond middle blocker looking at him. When the boy met eyes with the setter, he quickly looked away. He wasn’t the type of kouhai he had in mind, but he decided to try anyway.

“Now, now. There’s no need to be shy,” Oikawa walked up to him and smiled. This boy was taller than him, which pissed him off a bit.

“Excuse me, Oikawa-san, but I wasn’t trying to get your attention,” the blond responded with a blank face.

“Hm, I’d like to talk to you, though. You’re a pretty good blocker. I saw you block Ushiwaka,” Oikawa noted.

“Ah, thanks. I was training with a captain in another school. He’s a middle blocker, like me,” the blond replied.

“You have a senpai, too?” Oikawa was surprised.

“Hm? Yes, his name is Kuroo Tetsurou. He’s from Nekoma.”

The blond continued to talk, “Oikawa-san, I know you don’t want me as your kouhai. Frankly, the feeling is mutual. Even if you did, I already have enough senpais that drive me mad. Please stop trying to flatter me.”

Oikawa scowled, “You’re not cute at all.”

The blond middle blocker smiled and put his hand behind his back, “Thank you.”

Oikawa let out a “tch”, and met eyes with Kageyama. The first year setter was staring at him with a puzzled expression.

“I’m not interested in you Tobio-chan,” Oikawa glared at him.

Kageyama blinked, “Ok.”

“So don’t even think that I am, or ever will be.”

“Ok.”

“Yeah, you’ll never receive any of my help ever again. I’m not your senpai anymore. I want to crush you next time we play, whenever that may be,” Oikawa grinned evilly at him.

Kageyama blinked again, still unfazed, “Ok.”

Oikawa sighed and went up to the Karasuno captain, who was talking to Mr. Refreshing.

“Excuse me? Heh…Sorry, Sawamura-kun,” Oikawa smiled sheepishly.

“No problem, Oikawa-san. These kids are quite difficult, anyway,” Sawamura smiled and slapped Oikawa’s arm. Meanwhile, Mr. Refreshing was wearing a terribly frightening smile on his face.

“Don’t you dare harass my kids ever again,” the grey haired setter spoke in a low tone, chilling Oikawa down to the bone. The Karasuno captain and his vice, he learned, were not to be messed with.

Oikawa gave up, and walked solemnly to the stairs at the entrance of the gym. He sat down, and stared off into space. He was looking forward to have a cute Karasuno kouhai. Despite their teams’ differences, he thought he could take one under his wing and teach him some skills. He didn’t really have any kouhai that he was close enough to in Aoba Johsai, and he’s never had any in Kitagawa Dai-ichi. He was jealous of the other captains for having kouhais like the ones he’s desired to have. Well, he wasn’t jealous of Kuroo…

The setter pulled out his phone and was ready to text Iwaizumi that he’s coming home when he heard a voice behind him.

“Um, excuse me?” A boy with brown hair and freckles half-mumbled, looking very nervous.

“Oh, sorry,” Oikawa quickly moved over in order to let the boy through. Oikawa didn’t recognize him, so he assumed he wasn’t a starter for the team.

“Excuse me! Are you a first year?” Oikawa called for the boy, who turned around to face him.

“Oh, um…yeah,” The boy nodded.

Oikawa recalled the Spring High tournament, and the nervous Karasuno pinch server that finally got the hang of his jump float serve. He recognized the boy now.

“You’re the pinch server, aren’t you?” Oikawa gave him a warm smile. The boy widened his eyes and nodded.

“You played well at that last match we played, I have to admit. You’ll surely get better over time, since you’re only a first year,” Oikawa complimented him. “Well, good luck. Bye-bye!” Oikawa began to walk away.

“Wait!”

The setter turned around, shocked.

“I-I really admire the way you serve, O-Oikawa-san. Your jump serves are very impressive-well, everything about the way you play is impressive, actually,” The freckled boy stammered.

Oikawa stared at him with wide eyes and an agape mouth. He began to smile fondly at the boy.

“I can teach you, if you want.”

The freckled boy looked at him with a surprised look on his face. “Would you really do that?”

Oikawa gave him a genuine smile, “Yeah, we can exchange numbers and decide when we can meet.”

The freckled boy bowed, leaving Oikawa taken aback. “Thank you so much, Oikawa-senpai! I’ll be in your care!”

Oikawa patted his shoulder, smiling at him fondly. The boy straightened himself.

“What’s your name?” Oikawa asked him.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi,” the boy responded.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi…” the setter echoed, trying to get a feel of the name.

The setter took out his phone, “Can we exchange contacts, Tadashi-kun?”

“O-Oh, of course,” Yamaguchi stuttered and gave Oikawa his phone.

They exchanged contacts, and gave each other’s phone back.

“Bye-bye, Tadashi-kun!” Oikawa smiled and waved goodbye. He received a wave in return.

As he walked out of the school building, he unlocked his phone and opened his contact list. He found the new contact and smiled.

“Yeah, he will do.”