#its right before emmanuel appears too

[winchestergifs]

STACKEDNATURAL ⇉ 149.5/327

7.12 Time After Time Written by Robbie Thompson Directed by Philip Sgriccia Original Air Date: January 13, 2012

[amayahxfontenelle]

THE HIGH PRIESTESS

The High Priestess tells you to slow down, reflect on what you’ve learned, and acquire even more knowledge before deciding or taking action. She usually indicates a time for learning and listening to your intuition rather than prioritizing your intellect and conscious mind. Her wisdom encourages you to relinquish the grip of anxiety over the result. Instead, place your faith in the discernment of these metaphorical gatekeepers. Lastly, the High Priestess figure embodies the serenity of trust and the power of surrender, inviting you to step into the unknown with a courageous and open heart. Listen to your inner voice!

STATISTICS

FULL NAME : Amayah Fontenelle ALIAS : Maya, AGE : 35 DATE  OF  BIRTH : March 2nd, 1989 BIRTHPLACE : Castries, Saint Lucia RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Engaged to Wesley James TIME IN KISMET HARBOR :  1989-2013, sept 2023 - present. RESIDENCE : Cresthill Meadows. FACECLAIM : Nathalie Emmanuel

EDUCATION : Oregon State University - Art History, University of Ain Shams, Cairo - Archeology. OCCUPATION : Archeology professor at Chapman University GENDER : Cis-Female PRONOUNS : She/Her SEXUALITY : Straight. HAIR COLOUR : Dark Brown EYE  COLOUR : Brown HEIGHT : 5′7″ BUILD : Slim ACCENT : American, with a slight Egyptian tone picked up the last decade. LANGUAGES : English, Spanish, Arabic, French TATTOOS : Flowers on her right shoulder, right foot and a butterfly on her left arm. SCENT: Lancôme La Vie Est Belle ZODIAC : Pisces RELIGION : Hinduism LOVE LANGUAGE : Words of affirmation, quality time CLOTHING : Jeans with tops or croptops/short shirts. Occasionally with a long flannel (Men's collection), sneakers. CURRENT APPEARANCE:  ( x )

CONDITIONS : Depression ALLERGIES : None. EATING HABITS : Vegetarian EXERCISE HABITS : Yoga and Pilates. SLEEPING HABITS : 5-6 hours sleep a day. ADDICTIONS : Mobile phone. DRUG  USE : None. ALCOHOL USE : Only on the weekends and special occasions.

POSITIVE  TRAITS : Dreamy, Spiritual, Gentle, Compassionate NEGATIVE TRAITS : Easily Distracted, Melancholic, Private PHOBIAS : Autophobia, fear of being alone. FEARS : Ending up alone, losing her loved ones, losing her passion. HOBBIES : Drawing, Yoga, Meditation, Hiking. HABITS : Humming, playing with a strand of hair, touching an ear piercing, saying "sorry" too much, gazing off into space USUAL DEMEANOUR : Calm.

FATHER : Kenneth Fontenelle MOTHER : Shani Sanah-Fontenelle SIBLINGS : Unnamed (older brother), Francisco Fontenelle (Younger brother), Lexi Fontenelle, Carmen Fontenelle. (Younger sisters), unnamed (younger brother) PARTNER : Wesley James CHILDREN : Autumn Wynona Levitt-Fontenelle (deceased). PETS :  none.

BIOGRAPHY

tw: death, pregnancy, child loss, depression

Amayah's first hours in the world had been spent in the arms of a stranger. A nurse holding on to the prematurely born baby girl, seeing as her mother could no longer give her warm skin to skin contact, having died during childbirth. As sickly as she was, she received all the love on a daily basis from all the nurses working in the hospital on the small Caribbean island. It didn't take long for Amayah to be assigned through adoption to a loving couple living in Kismet Harbor, Oregon who came to pick her up as soon as she was declared healthy at four months old, bringing her home to the United States.

Her family was most certainly not comparable to that of most people. She wasn't related to anyone by blood, but by bond and love. All of her siblings originated from different corners of the world, as well as her parents and their home reflected just that. They were taught multiple languages, hobbies, sports, religions and more, being taught that commitment was both important and rewarding on its own. By the age of twelve, Amayah was fluent in four languages, was able to play symphonies on the piano by fourteen and was a competitive fencer by the age of eight til sixteen. The fact that Amayah was able to achieve such feats were impressive, as she was often described as having her head in the clouds, dreaming of fantasies and thinking of geography while she was supposed to be focusing on biology. Whenever she put her mind to something and actually focused, got well into the zone, it was hard to pull her out of it. A trait that eventually helped her through her future academic career.

Since a young age, and no doubt thanks to her busy home life, Amayah was a social butterfly, helping out whenever she could and making conversation with strangers on the bus. She was often the first to befriend the new kid in the class and sit next to the lonely student, even if it was just to give them company without talking. Despite this, Amayah could appreciate some quiet time, rarely knowing a calm moment in her busy home of eight. Though as much as she focused on friendship, Amayah was never really busy with boys, befriending them rather than dating them. All that changed when she met Wesley Levitt. The boy with the charming smile that made her jumble all of her words and lose her thoughts. It didn't surprise her parents that as soon as she announced she had a boyfriend and brought him home with her for dinner, that they were in for the long run.

She left the comfort of Kismet Harbor to travel with Wesley to university. Pursue her passion for the arts, no doubt inspired by her father's profession as an archeologist. She expanded her knowledge from the Minoan era, to the bronze era. From the first intermediate period to the ptolemaic period, Amayah was terribly fascinated by it all, and in particularly focused on the history of her hometown, the local museum having been a place she wanted her father to bring her to as much as they could. Rounding off her studies, life seemed to be on a fast track for Amayah, finding that she was pregnant in her early twenties rather than in her early thirties, as she had always imagined her life with Wesley to look like. Overcoming any fears and doubts, Wesley remained her rock, even going as far as to propose to her so that they would all, eventually, would carry the Levitt name. Her pregnancy had been one the doctors baptised as the perfect pregnancy. Right on schedule, none of the side effects and her skin glowed, her hair was full of volume and if she had to complain about something, it was about discomfort on her feet and back from the weight hanging from her waist.

Except Amayah knew no happy ending where she would have her bundle of joy in her arms after a textbook birth. She drove home after a party with Wesley, similar as to any other car ride. Being the designated driver, the two were talking as they drove home, laughing about a comment of one of their friends making a fool of themselves that Amayah hadn't seen that another driver wasn't giving them leeway where they should've gotten it, and ended up being driven off the Kismet Harbor bridge. The last thing she remembered was how the dark water came closer in a rapid pace before a flash of pain and everything went dark. She woke up nearly twenty hours later, her body bruised and aching, barely responding to her willing to move her arms. She had noticed her belly wasn't as large as it was before she lost consciousness, but was confirmed it wasn't a trick of the mind when confirmed to her that they had lost the baby. The fact her memory played games on her, from both the trauma and the fact she had been deprived of air for so long, they had to break the news of her little girl being gone at least a dozen times before she stopped forgetting, each time as heartbreaking as the last. She had held her treasure in her arms before they took her away, but Amayah can only recall her tiny perfect face from the pictures taken by her family.

Weeks went by and turned into months where she wouldn't leave her bed, couldn't stand the daylight and the smell of fresh air made her want to spit, losing herself to the tragedy of her life. She needed time, needed a chance to get over the trauma her mind and body went through. At the time she didn't understand why Wesley stayed by her side the one day and left her the other, urging her to leave and join her family to her father's digsite near Cairo, Egypt. She went from having everything to nearly nothing, and with tears in her eyes, she watched how the state of Vermont grew smaller and smaller until she could no longer recognise it as she flew to her new home across the world.

Cairo took some getting used to. She was nowhere near ready to live a normal life and forget what had happened. But day by day, Week by week, the change of scenery and the different culture helped Amayah overcome the pain her hometown held for her. She slowly gained more interest in her father's finds, in his enthusiasm until she adapted and joined him. A year later, she was able to start her new studies at the university in Cairo for archeology, focusing on preserving and studying relics and artefacts rather than digging them up, even though she enjoyed that aspect just as much. Having two phds to her name, she worked with the best that Cairo (and the world) had to offer. Her father's job, that was supposed to last two years, turned into four, which turned into eight, which turned into a permanent position as more and more digsites were unearthed.

Amayah thrived, becoming her old self again, even if she would never forget the darkest days of her life and for a long while accepted that she was able to live a life in Cairo of all places, with its heat and long days. Sure she explored the world, traveling to countries in Europe, Africa and Asia, but wondering to herself when she would make the decision to go back to the place that held so many memories for her. The chance came in the form of an invitation to a wedding, one that made her decide that she was happily going to close her current chapter and continue the one she was never able to close on her own terms. In the end it was the right decision to be made. She was welcomed back by all of her loved ones, rekindling her relationship with Wesley to the point they got back to being engaged again, moving in a new home together.

TIMELINE

[otp-holic]

The one place (where something happened) (A03)

“In your life there are a few places, or maybe only the one place, where something happened, and then there are all the other places.” Alice Munro. (or the one where they receive a letter from a familiar name and we go into 4Ks of fluff around a lost afternoon in France)

4K. Lamely explicit at one point. Fanfic + Pictures Inside. Trigger for FLUFF as the main plot. Part of the Never let us lose what we have gained series (AO3)

This was supposed to be a manip with 200 words of bantering and it's now 4Ks of fluff with a few pictures. I've decided to leave them inside the cut because I feel they work better with its context there. I'm sorry for the hassle, but I really hope you give this a chance... unless you have cavities, only like fics with amazing plots or are allergic to shameless fluff.

Please do not repost the pictures, I know this is futile, but… I try :)

DAGUERROTYPE, France 1944 Private Collection.

Steve is cooling down from his very early run, enjoying the feeling of the pink sunrise looming over the awakening Brooklyn streets as he walks the last couple of blocks on the way home, when his phone beeps.

“Check your actual mailbox, we dropped something for you there. I think you should appreciate us making it old-fashioned just for you, grandpas!”

Steve smiles at Sam’s text and as soon as he arrives at their building he snaps a picture of the very common and flat envelope with “Barnes&Rogers” scribbled on top of a Stark Logo, to send along his response.

“Nice try, but this is inaccurate. A letter would have never made its way to us without an address or stamp. We’ll send you a proper thank you card to show you how it’s done.”

He can’t help but chuckle at his own joke rereading the text while he opens the door, and when he looks up from his phone and into the kitchen, he is received by a sleepy Bucky looking at the coffee machine like he looks at Steve during their most soft and embarrassingly cheesy moments.

“You love that thing more than you love me, confess it.”

“In the mornings? Yes. I don’t even like you in the mornings most of the time,” he answers matter of factly. “Want some?”

Steve playfully wiggles an eyebrow.

“No way. Your sweaty self is tempting, but coffee smells better. I might join you in the shower later.” Bucky offers him one of the two cups he has poured and he notices the envelope Steve is holding. “What is that?”

“We’ve got mail!” He hands it to Bucky. “I have no idea what's on it, but Sam texted me to say they had something delivered to our mailbox and there it was. Open it.”

Bucky leaves the cup on the counter, face sparked with a curiosity that makes him look twenty-one (and Steve weak on the knees), and goes for it.

The content is a bit underwhelming at first glance: Another envelope, white, no Stark logo, but topped with a bright green post-it with a note on Pepper’s script.

“This got to me via PR. We analyzed it and checked with the source (no peeking, I swear) and it seems legit. With that return address, it’s likely to arouse your interest. Love, P.”

Bucky tears off the post-it and the letter is revealed to be addressed to Steve Rogers at the Stark Tower, but it is when they turn it around when everything goes still for a second.

The return address is some street in Marseille, but what has Steve’s mouth dry and Bucky’s hand trembling just a bit is the combination of the place and the name written on top: Emmanuelle Jaques Dernier.

“Boom?”, Bucky says, trying to cut through their heavy hearts and taking Steve’s hand. It’s a terrible terrible joke, but Dernier would have loved it and he grins.

“That’s a terrible terrible joke,” Steve verbalizes, “but I think at least we’ve reached the same conclusion.”

“Elementary, my dear Steve,” Bucky answers as he opens the second envelope, only to reveal a folded letter and yet another envelope. “It’s a fucking vault of paper!”

Steve takes the letter from him, unfolds it, and quickly scans it (normal office paper, printed, hand-signed) before he starts reading it out loud to Bucky’s undivided attention.

“Dear Mr. Rogers,

My name is Emmanuelle Dernier and I am the great-grandson of Jaques Dernier of the Howling Commandos.

First, let me tell you that we all in our family grew up with amazing stories and praise for you, Sergeant Barnes, and the rest of the team. I never got to meet my great-grandfather or any of them (you), but I’ve always felt like I did.

In fact, that’s the ultimate reason behind this letter: I ached to honor him and I’ve been putting in order all his remaining letters, pictures, and memories so they don’t get lost forever, and there are many things I’m discovering through this journey. So many pictures and tiny details… and amongst them, you and the rest of the Commandos appear at the most random and memorable moments. Nothing that’s going to make it into history books, more like the stories my grandpa used to share with us over and over again, those important tidbits that make him more human.

Anyway, I was going through the pictures he kept when I came across some war photos that didn’t seem to match the 40s timeframe. Typical daguerreotypes from the 20s in a very bad state, probably taken with a camera from the era in 1944 and developed on a later date by somebody who clearly didn’t master the technique.

They were in a very bad state and hidden inside an envelope that said “Terribly drunk soldiers in France making idiots of ourselves in unique and creative ways. Fun evening, horrible hangover. About 20 miles west of the Maginot Line. Autumn ‘44”. I’m attaching a photocopy of that, I hope you can understand my decision to keep the original.

After restoring the daguerreotypes with some experts, all I got were five very bad pictures with silhouettes of people apparently having fun…. but there was one that got a lot better in the cleaning process that feels important somehow. I’m sending the original, as well as the restored version I got.

I, of course, don’t have the whole context, but I hope it brings back a good memory. My great-grandpa might be in the picture, but I don’t think this one belongs to my family or to a museum.

Thank you for your service, I really hope this letter finds its way to you.

E.Dernier.”

“I can’t believe… Steve, most days I’m convinced that day and that place are a figment of my imagination,” Bucky smiles, remembering. “When I think of a moment of pure joy during the war, I think about that afternoon in France, and it always feels unreal. A bubble of air and laughter while we were so surrounded by death.”

Steve nods, reminiscing about that warm and humid September morning when they arrived at yet another abandoned and destroyed little village, this one about twenty miles west of the Maginot Line. They had orders to lie low and wait for twenty-four hours before they started the maneuver to wipe another Hydra base off the map, and that little town was perfect for that.

Among bomb debris and fallen walls, they found one small building miraculously standing next to the remains of the church, so they decided to set camp under a roof for a change since the weather was being a little flickery with the rain, and they had the rare luxury of time.

The inside of the tiny house was as unusual as the outside: nothing was destroyed beyond being dusty and worn by time, and everything they found (furniture, kitchenware, and even fabrics) belonged more to Steve and Bucky’s early childhoods than to 1944, a living museum frozen in time.

Only it was not a museum, but the parish house left untouched and non-raided: old-fashioned clothes, outdated church books, yellowing clergy collars, and, of course, the wine cellar. Oh, that wine cellar… the havoc it unleashed.

“I remember the absolute excitement when Falsworth found all those bottles of old unscathed mass wine from the parish,” Steve brings his memory to words, looking at Bucky, “I’m still a little convinced that we are going to hell for drinking them.”

“Not for that, probably, but it was a wonder nobody died on the spot of wine poisoning, it tasted like sweet vinegar, ugh.”

“But it did his part, right? Took our minds off things; got us drunk, bold and silly.” Steve answers.

“Apparently not all of us,” Bucky says very seriously, looking at Steve.

“Technicalities… I got drunk by proxy. Seeing you all so happy made me giddy and tipsy, too.”

“I came and went… I remember being a little surprised at the clarity of my thoughts at some moments there when some of the guys were basically drooling on the floor. Now I understand, of course.”

Steve squeezes his hand, not much to be said there.

They were already way too drunk by the early afternoon, drinking to the sound of a sudden rainstorm pouring outside. All of them scattered across the small dusty living room and its adjoining kitchen while they went through all the bottles of wine they had been able to find. Cheering for the foregone priest every time somebody raised a glass, and laughing as if there were no ruins or war on the other side; just silly men (boys, really) laughing their hearts out.

“Earth to Steve… I don’t know about you, but I’m dying to see what the hell that envelope is hiding. Especially now that we know about its time stamp.”

“I’m sorry, me too! Gabe drunkenly handling that old camera and those glass plaques the way he did? I’m honestly impressed that he was able to take any pictures at all,” he muses. “Shit, is it weird that I’m nervous?”

“I’m gonna save us the bantering because I’m nervous, too,” Bucky answers in all sincerity. “Truth is, Steve, I remember everything about that day.”

It’s a new admission, a newly opened door for them because for some reason, they have never talked about that peaceful surreal afternoon, and Steve nods in recognition as he silently goes for the envelope one-handed, not wanting to let go of Bucky’s hand because his surface is way cooler than his wrenching insides. Maybe the picture is an overexposed french wall but maybe…

The photo he extracts from the envelope is clearly the original and damaged one Emmanuelle specified in his letter. Anybody else looking at it would see nothing beyond Dernier’s blurry profile, but since Steve and Bucky were there when this was taken, they know exactly what moment Steve is holding in his hand.

“Buck,…” is all Steve can say, struck by the blurry keepsake.

Later in the afternoon when they had already consumed most of the wine and there was not a single coherent thought left in the room, one of the guys took the parish books and besottedly announced that there was a wedding set for today… thirty years ago. Alcohol fueled a goofy idea that escalated at the speed of light, with Morita saying they were going to a wedding because they deserved a celebration, Dernier confessing that he had once considered becoming a priest, and Dum-dum bringing out all the old fashioned clothes from the wardrobe and deciding they were getting nice and clean for the festivities.

“That’s clearly Dernier in the picture killing it in his priest role, right?” Bucky says, half smiling and interrupting Steve’s thoughts. “You know, I went all-in with that fake wedding party. I was laughing to tears when I saw you put on that ridiculously long and ill-fitting jacket from the 10s, feeling weightless and silly for the first time since sailing off, and God knows we all deserved that. And it was all safe and light-hearted until fucking Morita decided you had to be the groom, and...”

“Were you jealous because I won the dashing groom competition?”

Steve’s attempt at a joke is weak, but there’s truth behind it: Morita chose Steve as the groom (“Cap, you are the most dashing and the least drunk”) to a chorus of excited voices cheering for him. Somebody else, most likely Dum-Dum, chose the rest of the roles (Sarge, best man duty; Jones, camera; Morita, keep the wine flowing; the rest of you, misbehave!) and in the blink of an eye, they were all going outside laughing under a light rain, and about to celebrate Steve’s fictional wedding to nobody.

“How could I be jealous?” Bucky cuts in. “Do you remember all you said to me that afternoon? During World War II and in front of a battalion of men?”

“I was drunk.”

“Fuck you!” Bucky disentangles his hand from Steve’s to use both of them to hold Steve’s face and kiss him with violence. “Tell me. Do you remember what you said?”

As if he could ever forget. He can recall every step he took from the house to the makeshift wedding spot amidst the trees where his best man (looking dapper even in that ludicrous jacket) was laughing along Dernier. He can still smell the petrichor, can still sense the blush coloring his cheeks while hoping nobody noticed and can still hear the beating of his heart when Bucky handed him a battered umbrella (“You don’t deserve to get rained on your wedding day, punk”) and a fucking ring made out his shoelaces (“You’ll have to buy something a little more permanent.”). And then…

“Dernier started the ceremony and he wanted to know if I had somebody in mind and I said ‘of course’.” He replays, his voice barely a whisper. “I said I’d had my eyes on a brown-haired Brooklynite since before I could remember. I said that I was pretty sure those blue eyes were set on mine too and that hopefully those eyes would be set enough to want to marry me even if I had never dared to ask.”

He’s been holding Bucky’s gaze the whole time, and he’s far from over yet, but he needs to fucking breathe before he goes on. Neither of them has moved a muscle for the past minute.

“Then he asked me to repeat the wedding vows after him and…”

“And you said Buck, right?”, Bucky interrupts, voice winded. “You fucking whispered I take you, Buck, as my lawful wedded husband till the end of the line. I heard, Steve. Even if the rest of the world didn’t, I did. But you never said anything, so I always deemed it impossible, a product of the corniest nook of my mind trying to outweigh all those bad things, because not even you could be as bold, reckless, and mushy as to do that,…it’s my fucking fault, I should have known better!”

“Not completely reckless, pal. I was scared shitless as I said those words, but what else could I do? You were right by my side about to put a ring on my finger as my “best man”, everyone, including you, supposedly drunk past recollection, and everybody else too far away to hear my whispers. It was such an easy choice in the end because truth should always win over fear. And those vows were. The truth.”

“You have always been too honest for your own good, Rogers,” Bucky is breathless and exasperated and goes for his mouth again, bringing in all he (they) couldn’t in 1944. “You destroyed me, Steve. My knees were as weak as a teenager’s in front of his first crush. I wanted to kiss you so badly when I heard you say all that there in the open… and I couldn’t even acknowledge it.”

“I know. And for what it's worth, I really thought you didn’t remember.”

It is too much. Is it normal to feel this much? Steve would blame it on the serum enhancements, but he was already overwhelmed at 16, so that’s clearly not the answer.

He craves, no, he needs touching, grounding, closer. Bucky. There’s too much space between them even if they are back to kissing like they would have that day in 44, and at any other time if their own lives wouldn’t have stolen those moments from them.

“It happened.” Bucky whimpers, biting on Steve’s lip who abandons his own stool to straddle him, both of them gasping in sync at the feeling of their cocks, hard against each other’s through their soft pants.

Bucky soon ups the stakes by carding his metal hand through Steve’s hair pulling his head backwards to help himself into that spot on his neck.

“Same two moles as when you were tiny, as when we were at that war... Your cute vampire bite. Favorite spot.” He licks on them with the tip of his tongue. Steve growls on cue and Bucky giggles. “Favorite chain reaction.”

“Buck, you cheater, you know what that does to me!” Steve cries out followed by Bucky’s evil chuckle.”Bed, couch, countertop,…I don’t care, but naked. Now. Stained pants due to heavy petting are too much of a trip down memory lane for me. Let me keep a bit of my dignity.”

Steve stands up liberating Bucky from his grip but aching at the loss of contact.

They are naked and making out in the middle of the kitchen in no time; Bucky steadily pushing him against the refrigerator while fiercely grinding against his crotch.

“Hey, ‘teve,” Bucky pants. “The way this is going, it’s my dignity now that's at risk. I don’t think I can make it further than the floor before I come.”

Steve groans into his mouth just at the thought and they start sliding to the floor the best they can until he’s a human blanket moving over Bucky. With no lube at hand, and no time, that’s their best option.

They kiss and kiss and kiss, his hands not leaving Bucky’s sweaty hair. Bucky’s hands on his ass, forcing their groins closer with one while he (almost absently) plays around his hole with the other, driving Steve crazy in the process. Dicks left to do their own thing through pressure and friction. Everything is working. And fast.

“Oh, fuck!” Bucky exclaims “Can you promise me all this stuff with the letter was real and not a long-con plan to assure your fragile masculinity that I love you more than I love that espresso machine?”

That. That silly unfunny excuse of a joke that screams Bucky all over is what pushes Steve all the way over the edge. He fucking laughs as he comes making absolutely embarrassing sounds, pressing their foreheads and noses together until it hurts, and shaking from head to toe without stoping his pressure on the stupid and smug man under him. His lover. His partner. His unofficial husband. His best friend.

His Buck.

“There’s still too much blood in your brain if you can play that dirty,” Steve states, placing one hand between them grabbing Bucky’s hard cock. “Let’s see if I can do anything about it.”

“Your hand, usually so helpful, but I was already following you after that sound you make when you come and laugh at the same time, shit, it always goes straight to my dick, I’m,…” he keeps talking with difficulty between breaths and moans until he leaves his speech unfinished coming all over Steve’s fist.

They kiss on the lips breathing into each other before Steve rolls over. They are sticky and panting in silence, spread on their kitchen’s floor, Steve’s shoulders crushed between Bucky’s and the dishwasher. Domestic bliss at its most literal.

One lavish fuck and two showers later they reemerge into the kitchen in search of something to eat: Bucky is in charge of the food today, while Steve cleans the mess they left a couple of hours ago.

He’s decluttering the counter when their damaged picture laying there puts a smile on his face but also reminds him of the restored version presumably still waiting inside the disregarded letter, so he grabs the envelope to retrieve its contents: one photocopy (from Dernier’s original writing), and the promised photo.

And it is restored. Everything is clear where it was blurry before: Dernier (so deep into his priest impersonation that he’s not even looking at them), the trees, the battered umbrella, the ridiculous jackets… and them.

“You had the nerve to call me reckless and mushy, Buck?” Steve laughs as he stares at the picture where a very young Bucky is about to put a ring on his finger with the least subtle lovestruck expression he’s ever seen (“and it’s for you”, his brain proudly reminds him) “Wow, you might as well be kissing me there, anything would be more subtle than this!”

“Don’t shame me, you punk, especially not when you were the one responsible for breaking my brain back then!” Bucky answers coming from behind and stealing the picture from his hands to scrutinize it. Goofy grin and raging blush quickly taking over his face. “But you’re one to talk, Cap. You are gazing at that shoelace’s ring as if I were handing you a diamond tiara!”

Steve laughs softly at that and moves his right hand to his pocket, feeling the weight of the little compass he had retrieved earlier from one of his drawers. He used to carry it with him everywhere for comfort, but he has a better option now.

“Didn't you know that shoelaces are forever?” He asks, taking the compass out of his pocket and holding it in both hands as he opens it, nudging Bucky with his elbow to get his attention.

Bucky is confused for an instant while he looks at his young face staring at them from inside the little box. Of course he knew that (he made fun of Steve for days and days) but Steve detects the change in his expression when he notices the other thing.

“Wow, you gigantic sap,” Bucky says, taking the compass out of his hands to double-check he is seeing what he thinks he’s seeing. “You saved my shoelace.”

He had. While they were all celebrating his wedding under the rain dancing to no music, he quietly slipped the little string off his finger and tied it to the most secure place he had back then.

“It’s not a shoelace, you jerk, it’s a symbol. A declaration.” He laughs, stealing the compass back to safely pocket it again.

“You are delusional,” Bucky snorts, kissing the top of his head. But he’s widely smiling and lost in thought as he goes back to their sandwiches.

Steve stays on the spot enjoying the peace in their silent companionship, his focus on the latest news showing up on his phone, the text he’s writing to Sam and the comforting sounds of Bucky moving around the kitchen.

“You might have married me, but I never actually married you.” Bucky blurts out of the blue a bit later, sitting by his side as he hands him a plate with a sandwich and some grilled greens on it. “Do you want mayo with that?”

“Uh?” Steve forgets all about the news and the text and looks at Bucky in confusion.

“Mayo, do you want some?” Bucky repeats nonchalantly.

“No mayo, thank you; but I was actually more interested in the other part, you know, that thing about marriage?”

Bucky looks him in the eye: earnest, blushing and with the same look of smug adoration he had on the picture.

“Oh, that part.” He jokes. “You apparently married me in 1944, but I never married you back. And I would like to.”

“Marry me?” Steve asks and Bucky visibly nods.

“I’m sorry for throwing the idea at you like this, books tell me I'm supposed to have candles, music, and a ring, but you showed me that restored picture and I couldn't stop thinking about it, about proof,” Bucky speaks uncharacteristically slow and very softly, voice trembling here and there while he claps his hand with Steve’s finger by finger for reassurance and as a distraction. “A single photo had the power to transform a moment that existed just as a made-up happy place inside my mind into something tangible and real. Something that would be tangible and real for anybody getting a hold on it and looking at our stupid faces.”

“So stealthy,” Steve says, and they both laugh together.

“Proof, Steve. I was slicing tomatoes and thinking how there’s so much evidence, thousands of files! out there proving that all the stuff that fuels my nightmares were real, but nothing solid about this. Us.” Bucky stops for a moment collecting his thoughts, still smiling even with the heavy subject he just dropped into the mix. “Sorry, I believe I put more time into these sandwiches than into thinking this all the way through so I’m…”

“Take your time, we’ve gone from mayo to marriage to nightmares in five minutes so don’t worry, you have me hooked here.”

Steve makes Bucky laugh again as he intended, and he feels their calloused laced fingers immediately squeezing closer.

“It’s stupid because it doesn’t change anything for us but,.. I don’t fucking know, Steve, I think that picture has messed up with my mind! I instantly found comfort in the idea of people finding facts beyond the nightmares now or in the future. An easy to understand, universal and oversimplified proof of how much I loved you and how much I was loved in return.” Bucky takes a breath and stares at him sporting a million-watt smile. “Marrying you,… I would really love that. And for real this time.”

“Ok, Buck.” Steve instantly replies, eagerness winning over thoughtful and heartfelt declarations. He tightens the grip on their joined hands to drive them to his lips and seals the easiest answer he’s ever had to give.

And it's done!Sorry for the cavities, for going on with the fic when it should have ended and for ending it where it might have had to keep going. It was painful and fun. I'm free!

[airenyah]

what are the gayest destiel episodes you can think of?

ohhhhh i gotchu hold on (this is basically gonna end up being a list of my fave destiel episodes lmaooo)

ok so just a heads-up, i don’t really remember much from s10 onwards (a lot of those episodes i haven’t actually watched since they aired whoops) and i’m currently stuck at the beginning of s9 on my complete rewatch soooo this list focuses only on the first half of the show. i might do an update if i ever manage to finish my rewatch (and remember to post an update at all when the time comes)

ok here we go:

4x16 - On the Head of a Pin

dean calls cas “cas” to his face for the very first time

dean is all “you can't ask me to do this, cas. not this.” (about torturing alastair) and uriel is all “who said anything about asking”, but cas is all: “this is too much to ask, i know. but we have to ask it” and that is the moment that dean realizes that cas cares about him and his feelings/well-being and that’s when he demands to speak to cas alone 

and it’s only after cas tells dean he really doesn’t want dean being forced to do the torturing that Dean gives in (”i would give anything not to have you do this”)

like, it’s so obvious already how much cas cares about dean already and we’re only in s4

 cas is even starting to go down the path of disobedience (with a little help from anna admittedly, but still. he’s starting to consider it)

they’re so?? comfortable?? with each other. when cas visits dean at the hospital in the end

4x22 - Lucifer Rising

dean literally makes an angel fall in this ep, i mean come on... (the way cas shows up behind him all “you asked to see me” after dean smashes the angel statue cracks me up every single time gsdlka)

dean desperately trying to get cas to help him (bc he knows that IF there’s an angel that would help him it’s cas)

cas is too afraid though and dean gets pissed and literally breaks up with him (D: "you spineless, soulless son of a bitch. what do you care about dying? you're already dead. we're done." C: "dean-" D: "we're done!")

this is the episode in which cas makes his decision and chooses dean over heaven

5x03 - Free to Be You and Me

in the previous episode sam and dean had a fight and split up. this episode starts out with dean being pissed and annoyed and just in a bad mood in general

when cas shows up and asks for help dean is very grumpy and doesn’t want to help at first but then reluctantly agrees

throughout the episode, the more time dean spends with cas the better his mood gets (honestly this point is worthy of its own separate post, i have enough screenshots lmao)

like he’s even smiling at the end of the ep when he’s talking to cas in the car!! (except then he looks over and realizes cas has left mid-conversation again and that smile is wiped right off his face and i’m sad :( )

when they’re in that brothel dean mostly has eyes for cas, even when chastity the hooker is standing right next to him

after the brothel incident when dean is cracking up and goes “it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. it's been more than a long time. years.” like... buddy. your crush is showing.

and the way cas smiles lovingly at dean laughing next to him

dean be like: “personal space”     also dean: *reaches into cas’s coat without hesitation* *fixes cas’s shirt and tie without hesitation*

also the funniest thing about the whole “personal space” moment in the motel is that there was more than enough space for dean to step aside and increase the distance between him and cas if he had really been all that uncomfortable but he just. doesn’t. no he just stays right where he is 

when raphael is trapped in the holy oil and threatens cas all “castiel, I'm warning you. do not leave me here. i will find you.” and cas goes “maybe one day. but today, you're my little bitch.” and walks away and dean tells raphael “what he said” like the impressed and proud boyfriend that he is

inside jokes (see here)

some more iconic quotes/moments from this episode:

“cas, we’ve talked about this. personal space”

“so, what, i'm thelma and you're louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“well. last night on earth. what are your plans?” “i just thought i'd sit here quietly.”

“let me tell you something. there are two things i know for certain. one, bert and ernie are gay. two, you are not gonna die a virgin. not on my watch.”

5x14 - My Bloody Valentine

hunter husbands!!

the way that dean is not in the mood for hook-ups on valentine’s day and then goes to stare at cas like That

that iconic phone call at the hospital where cas just appears in front of dean who nearly runs into him

cas be looking at sam while listing all the things people can be starving for, and then looks at dean before saying “love” 

ok i know this doesn’t have that many points but really this entire ep is great, i very much enjoy all the interactions between cas and dean in this ep

like when dean is not hungry and cas is all “you're not gonna finish that?” and grabs the plate without waiting for an answer bc they’re this married in s5 already

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King

i mean... this one is obvious isn’t it

this ep is literally all about how cas is doing everything for the winchesters aka dean

the way sam and bobby cautiously voice their suspicions of cas to dean has the same energy as carefully breaking it to a family member that you think their partner is cheating on them 

and when they trap cas in the holy oil and confront him dean also acts like a betrayed wife(gn)

which is such a stark contrast to how sam and bobby react to the betrayal (they’re mostly just like “eh this sucks” while dean is emotionally affected)

and even in the following episodes dean is way more affected by cas’s betrayal than sam and bobby are and dean is the one who argues the most with cas (honestly, this entire arc is literally that post that’s all “how do i know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

ok but the holy oil scene is truly like a soap opera (i mean... “where were you when i needed to hear it?” “i was there. where were you?” and dean looking back at cas one last time before running away)

this is their first big break-up and it takes them until the s7 finale to make up

special shoutout to cas watching dean rake leaves

this ep is a LOT

7x17 - The Born-Again Identity

dean’s FACE when he sEES CAS. and then DEAN’S FACE AGAIN when “emmanuel” is all “what’s your issue?”

dean’s face all throughout that first scene with “emmanuel” and daphne, I’M

“you know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. you know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... i always could. what cas did... i just can't – i don't know why” BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, IDIOT

the way dean interrupts all irritated when meg goes “i think we're gonna be good friends too” at “emmanuel” (jealous bf much gsdlksafd)

the way dean kept the trenchcoat just in case so he can give it back to cas should he return (which ofc he did)!!!!

7x21 - Reading is Fundamental

yet another one of those “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”

at the beginning of the ep at some point sam’s phone rings and when he says that meg (who is watching over cas at the mental hospital) is calling, dean is quick to stand up and even tho meg called sam, dean is the one who ends up having the phone call with her lmao

also dean has no chill during that phone call lmao (he’s irritated when he finds out meg didn’t call them right then and there as soon as cas woke up and he’s immediately concerned when meg says cas is different, while sam’s just standing there holding his phone out to dean, being all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao)

dean: *pissed af at cas*    also dean: *almost breaks his own neck at the speed with which he whips his head around at the mention of cas’s name and is desperate to know his location when cas calls meg after dean blasted him away with some other angels at the hospital*

ok no but then meg tells cas their location and cas zaps into the car and it’s hilarious how quick dean is to interrupt whenever cas turns his attention to meg in that scene

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin

dean seeing cas everywhere

when you see your best dudebro outside the window in the middle of a storm but when you get up he’s gone and you feel like crap because you could’ve made it out of the war zone together and you just cannot fathom why he didn’t try harder and you just don’t understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling (and judging by dean’s reaction to sam’s suggestion, clearly it’s not survivor’s guilt)

dean’s FACE when cas suddenly appears behind him in the bathroom

jacting joices: the infamous boner scene (yet another example of “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

jacting joices pt 2: sam and dean are talking case and then cas walks over to join the conversation and there is literally no reason for dean to check cas out (see here)

during the rescue mission when cas zaps into the room and has a stand-off with crowley and then when dean finally manages to break into the room, can i just say... the way dean immediately rushes to cas (who’s ended up on the floor) and grabs him by the shoulder before he bothers to look around the room

D: “that was a bonehead move back there. you could have gotten yourself killed. why didn't you wait for me?” C: “well, i didn't get killed. and it worked” D: “and if it didn't?” C: “it would have been my problem.” D: “well, that's not the way i see it.”

the purgatory flashbacks when dean keeps insisting that cas is coming along with them back to earth and won’t hear otherwise

“i did everything I could to get you out – everything! i did not leave you.”  “so you think this was your fault?”

“look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? for failing you like i've failed every other godforsaken thing that i care about! i don't need it!”

i know we hate buckleming but this episode, man. this episode

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici

i was gonna put this as a special shoutout but then it turned out that i had more to say about this ep than i initially thought

it’s the way dean and cas keep gravitating towards each other in the first half of the episode. no seriously, they somehow keep ending up beside each other and you start wondering “what’s personal space” (friendly reminder that this is the ep right after they’re finally back together again after purgatory)

the married energy and the bickering

the “talk to me” scene where cas finally opens up to dean (but then interrupting moose strikes)

at the retirement home dean to sam and cas: “no flirting you two” then CUT to: dean and cas sitting at a table with an elderly lady who is staring at cas with heart eyes and... lady: “you are so pretty, charles” dean: *must look at young nurse’s butt immediately to distract myself from gay thoughts*

i’m sorry but the way he smiles so widely at cas at one point when they’re talking to that lady, like, she’s just called cas a bounder and dean’s amused about that but his amusement is not in any way malicious and his face is just so full of love when he looks at Cas, it’s embarrassing really (see here)

9x06 - Heaven Can't Wait

ok so i haven’t watched this ep in like 5 years so my memories on this aren’t as fresh as with the previous eps but! it’s the way that cas and dean act exactly like exes (who are still in love with each other) in this ep

dean’s face as he’s staring at cas through the shop window

dean’s smile when he shows up inside the shop

the entire “i can’t let you do this cas” scene in the car

the infamous fanfiction gap

special shout out to:

5x18 - Point of No Return for all the bickering (“you know what? blow me, cas”) and especially  “well, cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… i got laid.”

6x10 - Caged Heat for the pizza man and dean’s reaction to all the megstiel (like jealous bf much?)

6x19 - Mommy Dearest for the strong married energy dean and cas give off in this ep (honestly, all their bickering, it’s glorious) (friendly reminder that this is right before tmwwbk) 

7x23 - Survival of the Fittest for the “i’d rather have you cursed or not” scene

8x02 - What's Up, Tiger Mommy? for the purgatory flashbaks with that one monster calling cas dean’s angel and the reunion scene by the river with highlights such as “nice peach fuzz” and “i prayed to you cas, every night” and “i have a price on my head, and i've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you” and “cas, we're getting out of here. we're going home” and “cas, buddy, i need you” and “let me bottom-line it for you. i'm not leaving here without you. understand?”

8x17 - Goodybe Stranger for “i don't know, dean. if he's so sketchy, then why were you praying to him?” and the entire crypt scene (yes this is a big one and yes i’m still only putting it as a special shoutout and yes it’s bc of the megstiel content this ep ok bye <3)

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 51.16 - Emmanuel, Cam vs RNCM

I am sometimes guilty of taking things too seriously, and with my poor choice of Fantasy Football captaincy (Kai Havertz) compounded by the Mo Salah hat-trick last night (though of course it is always delightful to see Man Utd getting demolished) I could feel myself descending into a wallow of such abject self-misery you could have built a house out of it. 

But a brisk cycle to work, and then to the other office, and then home, served to shake such feelings out of my head, and now there is the joy of a University Challenge play-off to further dispel any feelings of FPL-based worthlessness. 

Emmanuel, Cambridge and the Royal Northern College of Music (RNCM) were both pipped to the post in their first round matches by Scottish Universities - St Andrews and Dundee respectively - and now have a second chance at making the second round. With identical scores in their matching losses - 135 to 145 - there is no real way of determining who was the favourite heading into tonight’s play-off.

We last saw RNCM only four weeks ago, so they are fresher in our minds than Emmanuel, who appeared more than three and a half months ago, but both teams quickly re-establish that they are wholesome and lovely in their introductions. 

First off the mark is RNCMs Carew, who identifies rogue planets before anyone else. A couple of bonuses left them on twenty points, before a very long starter on British politics allowed Emmanuel to get on the board as well. RNCM had guessed Gladstone, but had been wrong, meaning that Emma were almost certainly bound to be right (and were), with Disraeli. 

Taking his second of the night (for t’was he who took Emma’s first), Wrathall gave the Cambridge side the lead with a brilliant buzz of Mauritania, apparently knowing that they deal with a lot of iron ore over there. Chrisp hit back for RNCM with the first picture starter, on Agatha Christie titles translated into European languages. They took a full set of bonuses to take the lead back, including one on Stephen King - the clue being, as Paxman pointed out, El Resplandor…

A couple of starters from Thatte (chirality and nocebo, a nice pair of words) took the initiative back for Emmanuel, who now had eighty points to RNCMs forty. They took another starter to increase this lead, then struggled with a set of bonuses on Chadwick Boseman, only managing the final one - Thurgood Marshall. RNCMs Carew had apparently been willing them to get this answer, because Paxman commented on his distress at their its-on-the-tip-of-my-tonguing (I wish that they had shown this on screen). He himself won the race on the music starter, buzzing in very calmly with mozart before racing through the bonuses without breaking a sweat - ‘was that too easy for you?’, said Paxman.

This cut the lead to thirty points, but Emmanuel didn’t let them close any further, and quickly bounded beyond a hundred and forty points. Robarts hits back with ‘tug of war’, but it is already clear that this particular example is only going in one direction. 

RNCM demonstrate some more impeccable musical knowledge with a full bonus set on Liszt, and a few late negs from Emmanuel cut down the gap a bit, but at the gong it was the Cambridge quartet who took their place in the second round. 

Final Score: Emmanuel, Cam 180 - 115 Royal Northern College of Music

Another very enjoyable match between two delightful teams, that. Commiserations to RNCM, who put up a good fight, and showed themselves to be faultless on the subject of music. Congratulations to Emma who make the second round for the fourth time in the past six years.  

[lesbianechinocereus]

Nobody’s Saviors

Premise:

Adoracion “Adora” Narvaez is the daughter of Lumina City’s [note, find a better city title] most esteemed priest and magician, Emmanuel Narvaez. To use magic in Lumina at all is to discard one’s body and take on a powerful second form. This second self is called the practitioner’s form, and requires a degree of self-understanding in order to master its abilities. The Church presiding over the city claims that this can only be done safely by those it licenses. According to them, all unlicensed practitioners eventually forget their humanity and become irreversible monsters that must be put down. But when Adora finds working with the underground magician circle known as Camp Nowhere, she’ll need to learn just what it means to be a monster if she wants to survive.

Setting:

Lumina is a vibrant port town on the West Coast. People from all walks of life gather at Lumina, from worn down dockworkers to CEOs that never seem to leave their business towers. Lumina’s biggest draw though is it’s status as the center of the Church’s magic operation. Priests and other licensed individuals flock from all over the world to train in one of Lumina’s prestigious chapels. The city isn’t always safe though. Underground practitioners are always out to copy the Church’s secrets, and are known to wreak all sorts of havoc. The local government regrettably lets the Church pretty much run Lumina, since the only way to deal with a rogue practitioner is another practitioner and the city’s attempts at setting up a magic academy have seen little success so far.

Camp Nowhere is a safe haven for unlicensed magicians. People who find themselves involved with magic without a license often find their way to Camp Nowhere without even meaning to- it’s name comes from the fact that Camp Nowhere is both everywhere and nowhere. One person finds Camp Nowhere in an abandoned hospital, another finds it in the alleyway next to their apartment that they never looked too closely at. People looking for Camp Nowhere, especially license bearers, never find it in all their lives. For unlicensed magicians who would find themselves arrested or worse by the Church, Camp Nowhere is probably the safest place you can be to learn to master your practitioner’s form.

Characters:

Adoracion “Adora” Narvaez is the adoptive child of Emmanuel Narvaez. Adora has never quite found it in her to agree with the Church’s line of reasoning on a lot of things. She’s also never really had the chance to be her own person outside the church’s strict guidance. Raised to be a magician from birth, she only manages to get a hang of the practice by chance during a moonlit walk to clear her thoughts. Camp Nowhere mistakes her for and unlicensed practitioner and picks her up, but she never finds the heart to leave or report herself kidnapped. Instead, she finds their ideals speak to her and becomes their newest apprentice.

Father Emmanuel Narvaez is the priest for a suburb in Lumina. He had the chance to be a bishop, but turned it down to stay close to his community. As a respected magician, Emmanuel is known as both a community leader and someone who clashes frequently with rogue magicians to keep the city safe. His devotion to the Church and its doctrine is absolute, and he will let nothing, not even family, get in the way of what must be done. His practitioner form is a giant flaming bull, with four eyes on either side of its body and massive human arms in that extend in place of its horns as well as great wings of flame.

Brother Gabriel is a deacon and magician finishing his studies under Emmanuel. Ever since he started training to become a priest, he has been Emmanuel’s right hand man. Gabriel has little taste for speeches and preaching, preferring to visit people directly. He keeps a watchful eye over the community, seeking out and hoping to resolve conflicts before they get out of hand. Many people in the Lumina suburbs have been visited by Gabriel personally. His practitioner form is constantly shifting between countless humanoid shapes and can even steal the appearance of others, but is given away by the plain white mask it always wears instead of a face.

Mr. Fairchild is one half of the leadership of Camp Nowhere. Little is known about his past aside from that fact that he used to travel the countryside and is responsible for more than a few cryptid sightings. He is a mild-mannered gardener who provides for many of the people at Camp Nowhere, but is best not mistaken for harmless. His years of experience with magic mean that many people who find Camp Nowhere end up studying under him. His practitioner form looks like a tall man with elongated limbs, but the limbs are just more of the vines that branch and grow from its main body. This form can disguise itself easily, pretending to be moss or grass or the roots of a tree.

Perdita is the fire at the heart of the Camp Nowhere. While she has no ill will towards the Church or any government body, her obsession with getting magic into the hands of as many people as possible has made her a lot of enemies. She believes that magic is safe for everyone, but only if the world itself is made a better place for its residents. Her practitioner form isn't exactly known, but is rumored to have something to do with Camp Nowhere itself. After all, the shadows in Camp Nowhere are clearly alive and the last person who thought they cornered Perdita watched her fade into the dark shadow of a nearby building

[clairvoyantsam]

When dreams come true ft Jared Padalecki - 4th year anniversary

Rome, May 19th 2016 ... The day the ultimate dream came true! Some of you may remember I bumpted into Jared (or in fact, JARED bumpted into ME) while out and about in Rome that day, a few of my friends know all the details too, but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned here exactly how and under what impossible circumstances this happened. So ... story time! (& stuff about jib5,6,7)

                                               BACKGROUND

This wasn’t the first time I met Jared, I had met him before at JIBCon5 in 2014, so this was my second time (I was supposed to see him at JIBCon6 in 2015 too which I attended as well but you guys know what happened that year). 

He was lovely that first time, I told him it was my first Supernatural convention and he gave me a warm welcome, made the entire experience so wonderful for me, during the photo ops, the autograph session (where I gave him a scrapbook with messages from fans I had been in contact with) and the panel question I asked him (I completed one of his sentences which was actually a Sam Winchester quote from SPN and it made both of us and the entire audience laugh xD - I have a photo of me somewhere from that moment and I haven’t seen myself smile so widely ever!). Anyway, like I said, the first convention was fantastic, a beautiful and most memorable experience (despite the fact that Jared had a misfortune that time too since he broke his arm and missed one of his panels as a consequence).

The second convention while it had its moments, it sat (and still sits to be honest) heavy in my heart because I was constantly worried about Jared’s wellbeing and everyone including me was heartbroken. The rest of the cast did everything they could to keep us all entertained, they truly did but there was a dark cloud over our heads that couldn’t be ignored. The first thing we talked about with Jensen at his meet and greet (because of  Jared’s absence, I was given the opportunity to be in that M&G, sitting right across from him and Robert Singer who was present at the con as well). Jensen was genuinely worried, he surely put on a brave face but whenever Jared was mentioned, he’d get emotional. While I asked show-related questions at the M&G, I wasn’t sure what to ask Jensen or tell him when I got his autograph and then I thought of the simplest thing: “So, I may be really sad about the empty spot next to you (Jared’s spot on the poster Jensen was signing for me) but I wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate the fact that you’re such a supportive and caring friend towards Jared. Everyone deserves a friend like you to have their back.” Then he took my hand, shook it, looked me right in the eye, put a hand on his heart and told me a sincere “Thank You”. Frankly, I loved Jensen even more at JIB6, he showed both a brave and vulnerable side and he tried so hard to give everyone a great time. My best photos with him are from that con for sure!

So, you see, I HAD to try and give my luck a third chance to live the perfect experience. I wanted to live it all, photo ops, autographs, M&G, panels but I also had a secret wish: to be one of those fans who accidentally meet their fav randomly in the city (NO stalking because that’s just fucked up, only by chance). I always saw posts of lucky people who got to meet him outside of conventions. He’s not one of those snob celebs, you see. He’ll always smile at you and talk to you and get pictures with you. So, I dreamt about it the entire year before JIB7. @darlingjared and I would talk and joke about it all the time, praying that our stars will listen and make a surprise meeting possible. Of course, deep down we know the chances were extremely low. Rome is a HUGE city with hundreds of places of interest. He could be anywhere, on the opposite site of where we’d be. 

The day finally arrived, and we got to Rome (Thursday, May 19th 2016). Soon after I arrived at the Hilton hotel, I got to my room to get some rest after the flight. Not much later, I got a text saying Jared was at the hotel!!!! (no idea why??? the convention was starting the next day and he wasn’t to appear until the day after that). Before I could get dressed to go check, he was gone but I heard he was really sweet and greeted everyone who said hi to him. 

In the afternoon, after I met with my roommate and @darlingjared ,we took the Hilton bus that took us downtown; it left us near the Victor Emmanuel II monument.  Naturally, we went for walks around the city. We had a bite to eat and then got lost in a street trying to find our way to the Trevi fountain, so we asked around and managed to get to our destination. We spent a few minutes there, taking photos and then continued our way, meaning to get to the Spanish steps. While we were heading there, rain started pouring, so we took shelter for a few minutes until it stopped. We thought, damn, we will never meet him during this weather. When it stopped, we did some shopping at a supermarket and since the time had passed and we had to grab our ride back to the hotel since the Hilton bus had a specific route schedule, we said let’s just pass the Spanish steps quickly, go down via Condotti and head back. (I have to mention here that my BEST DECISION EVER was to wear the Always Keep Fighting T-shirt for this walk). At this point, we were certain we wouldn’t meet him, so we basically forgot about it and just started chatting with each other and laughing. I mean, we walked around many places, we got lost, we got stuck in the rain. What were the odds??? So, we’re laughing at our own jokes and for some reason we had our attention focused at the right side of the street. I turn my head straight at the PERFECT time, seeing that beautiful, smiling giant, coming my way through the crowd and adressing me before I had the time to react:

Jared: “Hey, I love your shirt!” 

I fucking froze. Can you imagine?????? Not only did we eventually meet him but HE came to us FIRST to talk!!!!! We didn’t have to notice him and shyly go talk to him, wondering if we’re disturbing him, asking for pictures. He casually just approached us because he wanted to, because he’s kind and simple like that. I was so shocked, mouth agape, that he just went in for a hug to bring me back to reality!!! Now, name me another actor, another celebrity who will stop on his own to talk to you and hug you, I DARE YOU TO FIND ONE!!! He’s pure and special like that. He hugged each of us (gosh, he smelled like Heaven and looked so good in that sexy coat he wore, his hair kinda wet from the rain), asked us how we’re doing and then we asked if it would be ok to take some pictures with us. He said “sure!” and we took our phones out. Mine was brand new and I hadn’t even taken a picture with it, so, basically Jared blessed it first xD My hand was shaking so bad that I couldn’t take the picture, so, he put his hand on mine to steady it and took the selfie. He took pics with all of us, we thanked him and then he told us to have a good time and that he’d see us again at the convention. Needless to say when he left, we started losing it because we couldn’t believe what had just happened!!! It was out of this world. To this day, as I’m writing this, I still can’t believe it. We wanted something so SO much, that the universe made it happen. It’s one of those times that you know the stars aligned so that something you desired with all your heart could come true!

The entire convention was absolutely phenomenal. Jared remembered my face throughout the weekend, I asked him interesting questions during his panels and the one he shared with Jensen for which he later thanked me when I saw him at the photo ops (he particularly liked my question adressed to him and Jensen about the proudest they’ve felt about themselves in real life and about their characters on Supernatural and the other one concerning what Sam and Jared would tell each other if they met in real life which he found great because he said he had never been asked that before.) The M&G with him was a blast, he sat with us longer than what was expected, got to ask him two questions there (I have another detailed post with everything that was said in the M&G), he was super chill and eager to answer everything we wanted to know. When I got his autograph, I told him everything he means to me, thanked him for inspiring me to be a better version of myself, straight out told him I love him and he was so kind and gentle and shook my hand and told me he loved me back (also gave him a custom made chocolate I ordered particularly for him with #AKF as a theme). “I love you, always keeping fighting Jared, never forget.” I was on the verge of tears for multiple reasons but I had to say that to him. I was not in a good place back then and Jared was a beacon of light, of hope that kept me going. At our last photo op together, I asked him to hug me “like there’s no tomorrow” and he held me so tight in his arms, I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t care. I didn’t know what he looked like when he hugged me but getting out of the photo op room, the girl who was behind me stopped me in the hallway and said: “Omg, he was so sweet with you! Loved what he did with his eyes. Your photo will look beautiful”. I was confused because I was looking at the camera when the picture was taken, so I had to wait for my photo op to get printed to see what she was talking about. My heart melted when I saw this:

I mean, look at that SOFT face. He’s so sweet, you can FEEL his kindness radiating by reading his expression. Some people may think nothing of this but it meant the world to me back then. It was as if he was telling me “things will get better, you can do this” without using words.

When Jared hugs, he does it with everything he has, like he’s said before, hugging is showing you care about someone and damn, he does. He’s an actor but he doesn’t pretend during these moments, I can assure you. He’s a person who feels things deeply, he’s someone who understands what it’s like to struggle with your personal demons and that’s why I’ve always related to him the most. He has a heart of gold and personally, I’ll have his back always. He didn’t have to be so kind to me but he was and I will never forget that.

So this is my story. This post was probably too long but I had to share these thoughts. 

Jared, I know you don’t remember me but if you ever see this, thank you for being you, don’t ever change. I love you, man. #AKF

~Elena

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

25th December >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies on Luke 2:1-14 for The Feast of Christmas: ‘Today in the town of David, a Saviour has been born to you’.

Feast of Christmas Night and Day

Gospel (Except USA)

Luke 2:1-14

'In the town of David a saviour has been born to you'

Caesar Augustus issued a decree for a census of the whole world to be taken. This census – the first – took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria, and everyone went to his own town to be registered. So Joseph set out from the town of Nazareth in Galilee and travelled up to Judaea, to the town of David called Bethlehem, since he was of David’s House and line, in order to be registered together with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to a son, her first born. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them at the inn.    In the countryside close by there were shepherds who lived in the fields and took it in turns to watch their flocks during the night. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone round them. They were terrified, but the angel said, ‘Do not be afraid. Listen, I bring you news of great joy, a joy to be shared by the whole people. Today in the town of David a saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. And here is a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.’ And suddenly with the angel there was a great throng of the heavenly host, praising God and singing:

‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace to men who enjoy his favour.’

Gospel (USA)

Luke 2:1–14

Today a Savior has been born for you.

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that the whole world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirinius was governor of Syria. So all went to be enrolled, each to his own town. And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazareth to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child.    While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.    Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Christ and Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying:

“Glory to God in the highest    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Reflections (7)

(i) Feast of Christmas

Every year on Christmas night we listen to the Christmas story from the gospels. Each year the story we hear is the same, but each year we are different. Something will have changed for us since last Christmas. For many people, a lot will have changed in the past twelve months due to the onset of a pandemic we never foresaw last Christmas and is very much still with us, as we face into level 5 restrictions again. Many people may be feeling more despondent and anxious. Some will have experienced a level of isolation that they had never knows before. For many, their work situation is much less secure than it was. We sense that many of us are more on edge. Those for whom life has always been a struggle have been finding it much more of a struggle. As individuals, as communities, we come to this Christmas somewhat more stressed and bruised than normal. Because it has been a darker year for many, the opening line of today’s first reading can resonate all the more with us, ‘the people that walked in darkness has seen a great light’. This Christmas, as we continue to walk in the darkness of this pandemic, we are invited to open ourselves up to the great light of the birth of Jesus.

The Christmas story speaks to us of a light that shines in the darkness and that the darkness cannot overcome. The story of the birth of Jesus is told as a night time event in which a great light shines. The shepherds were watching their flocks during the night, when the glory of the Lord shone around them. This light of God’s presence did not eliminate the darkness, but it shone in the midst of it. I am reminded of that lovely hymn written by John Henry Newman, ‘Lead, kindly light, amid the encircling gloom’. The feast of Christmas celebrates the shining of God’s kindly light in the midst of the gloom in which we often find ourselves. The writer Dostoevsky once wrote, ‘We grope as though in the dark… but for the precious image of Christ before us, we would lose our way’. God’s kindly light shone in the face of Jesus that night in Bethlehem and it continues to shine for each one of us this Christmas, wherever we happen to find ourselves. Each of our lives has its own personal drama but tonight we are invited to let ourselves be drawn into a drama that is larger than our own, the drama of God’s loving relationship with us.

The child that was born to Mary and Joseph has been born to each one of us. In the words of the angels to the shepherds, ‘Today, in the town of David, a saviour has been born to you’. Each one of us is included in that ‘to you’. That is why the birth of the one who was born homeless can be celebrated in every home. The one born of Mary wants to make his home in each of our lives, this Christmas and throughout the coming year. The birth of Jesus reveals God’s desire to draw close to us. When Mary and Joseph looked upon their child, they were looking upon the human face of God. When we look upon this child, when we look upon the adult Jesus in the gospels, the crucified Jesus on the cross, we are looking at the human face of God. Through this child, who became the adult of the gospels, and, eventually the risen Lord of the church, God is embracing us in love. That is what Saint Paul means when he says at the beginning of today’s second reading, ‘God’s grace has been revealed’. God’s gracious love has been revealed, a love that accepts us as we are, without any merit on our part. God’s Son, born of Mary and Joseph, loudly proclaims that we are all beloved sons and daughters of God. However difficult or complicated the drama of our own life story may be, Christmas is a moment when God calls out to us to accept his loving embrace of us, through his Son. Graced by God’s love, we will be empowered to love ourselves, and to love others, the whole human family. Not only do we celebrate at Christmas God’s desire to draw close to us, but Christmas can bring each of us closer to God. As the humble shepherds and the sophisticated magi were both drawn to the stable in Bethlehem, we too can find ourselves drawn to the God who loves us so much that he became as vulnerable as a new born child for our sakes.

In speaking to the shepherds, the angels describe their message about the birth of a saviour as ‘news of great joy’. God wants each of us to find joy in being unconditionally loved. There may not have been much joy for many people in the year just past. Some will be grieving the recent death of a loved one. Many may be struggling in some version of the ‘encircling gloom’ that Newman speaks of. Yet, at a deeper level of our being, we can experience the joy which is the fruit of the Spirit of God’s love. It is the joy which flows from knowing that the kindly light of God’s gracious love, the light of Bethlehem, is always shining upon us. This kindly light is our ultimate destiny; we are journeying towards it, but it is also our constant companion.

And/Or

(ii) Feast of Christmas Day

 I would like on your behalf to congratulate the children on the wonderful way that they acted out the Christmas story. I am always struck by how easily children enter into the Christmas story and how well they announce it to us all. Perhaps that is because at the centre of the Christmas story is a family - a mother, a father and their child – not unlike the children’s own families. Many of the children will have baby brothers and sisters, and they can relate easily to the baby who is the very heart of the Christmas story.

 The word ‘God’ can suggest someone remote, very far above us, somewhat inaccessible. However, there is nothing more accessible than a new born baby. Everyone wants to get close to a new born baby. They exert a certain fascination on all of us. We look at this new bundle of life, mesmerized. The parents who are here this morning know that better than I do. Christmas celebrates the extraordinary good news that the new born child of Mary and Joseph is God - God-with-us, Emmanuel. Those who looked into the eyes of this child were looking into the eyes of God. It is hard to imagine how God could have become more accessible to us than by taking the form of a new born child. If God wanted to draw close to us, to engage us, to draw us into relationship, this was a very good way to do it. In Jesus, the first born child of Mary and Joseph, God became vulnerable, accessible, engaging.

 Perhaps that is why the feast of Christmas continues to engage us at the more spiritual level of our make up. Yes, Christmas has become overly commercialized. We all spend more than we need to; if we are not careful we can easily go overboard. Yet, the numbers who come to church on Christmas day are always well up on other times of the year. God who reached out to us through a new born babe continues to draw us at this time of the year. It somehow feels right to come to church on this day of all days. It is as if we sense, at some level, that if God has gone to such lengths to connect with us, the least we can do is attempt to connect with God. Like the shepherds in today’s gospel reading, we hear the call to come to the crib. On reaching it, we are invited to let our eyes and our minds roam free as we ponder the wonderful mystery of Jesus’ birth, the mystery of Emmanuel, God-with-us.

 Mary and Joseph’s child, of course, became an adult, a vigorous young man who placed his life’s energy at the disposal of God the Father for the service of all men and woman. As the adult Jesus went on to say, ‘the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many’. He gave his life for us all, and, having been raised from the dead, he continues to give himself to us all. Indeed, at this Eucharist which we now celebrate, the risen Lord gives himself to each of us as the bread of life. We come here on this Christmas morning not only to ponder the image of the child Jesus in the crib, but to receive into our lives in the Eucharist the glorious and risen adult Jesus. He calls us who are adults into an adult relationship with him. He says to us what he said to his disciples on the night before he died, ‘I no longer call your servants, I call you friends’. He waits for us to reciprocate, to befriend him as he has befriended us, to reach out towards him as he has reached out towards us, to accept him as our companion on our life’s way.

 The second reading this morning speaks of God’s Son as ‘the radiant light of God’s glory’. When John the evangelist wanted to express the mystery of this feast of Christmas, he wrote: ‘A light… shines in the darkness, a light that darkness could not overpower’. The adult Jesus spoke of himself as the light of the world and promised that those who follow him will never walk in darkness. Many of us today experience a sense of darkness in one form of another. It might be the darkness of depression, of illness, of a broken relationship, of a deep loss, or the darkness that envelopes us when we look at all that is not right with our world. At Christmas we celebrate the coming of Jesus as light into our darkness. On this Christmas morning, we might make our own that wonderful prayer of John Henry Newman, a great scholar and writer of the 19th century, an Anglican who became a Roman Catholic, a prayer addressed to the risen Jesus as light in our darkness: ‘Lead kindly light amid the encircling gloom, lead Thou me on. The night is dark and I am far from home, lead Thou me on. I do not ask to see the distant scene. One step enough for me’.

And/Or

(iii) Feast of Christmas Day

 There has been quite a bit of bad news in recent times. We know the economy has taken a serious downturn and many people who had jobs last Christmas don’t have jobs this Christmas. The future is more uncertain for many people than it might have been this time last year. We have also heard news of murders in broad daylight at either end of our parish here in Clontarf. For those who have been affected by those murders this Christmas will be an ordeal. There has been bad news for the church this Christmas, as well, with the recent report on Cloyne Diocese.

 Today’s feast sends a ray of light into the doom and gloom. The first line of this morning’s first reading sets the tone for the feast, ‘How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of one who brings good news’. What is this good news, according to that reading? It is the good news that the Lord is returning to Zion and consoling his people and that all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God. As Christians we recognize the fulfilment of that promise of good news in the birth of Jesus who is both the son of Mary and Joseph, and Son of God. On that first Christmas night, a child was born for us, a son was given to us, who brought God to us in a way that no human being ever did before or since. In bringing God to us with such clarity, he showed the name of that God to be love. In his gospel St John would put it very succinctly, ‘God so loved the world that he gave his only Son’. That is why we have cribs in our churches and in our homes at this time of the year, to remind us of that good news. Children can get more excited by good news than us adults. We are often more attuned to bad news. It can be the open-eyed wonder of children before the crib that helps all of us to hear and be touched by the good news that is at the heart of today’s feast. The adult Jesus would go on to say, ‘unless you become like little children you will not enter the kingdom of God’.

 The gospel reading we have just heard acknowledges the reality of the darkness in our world, and yet it also announces the good news that there is a more fundamental reality enveloping us, which the reading simply refers to as ‘light’. ‘A light shines in the darkness, a light that darkness could not overpower’. That reading reassures us that no matter how dark things may appear to be in our own personal lives, in the lives of our family, in the life of our church, in the life of our nation, there is a light shining there, a light that is stronger than the darkness and that is destined to overcome the darkness. The gospel reading for Christmas morning invites us to ask the question, ‘Where is the light in our darkness?’ It encourages us to search for the light, because it is there. The reading speaks of this light as the true light, and it then identifies this true light with the Word of God who became flesh and was given the name Jesus. We come to the crib at this time of the year because we are drawn by the light that shines in the darkness, and deep down we are convinced that the darkness will not overcome this light. What is this light? It is ultimately the light of love, the light of God’s love. In the New Testament, there are two three word statements identifying who God is, and they are both to be found in the first letter of Saint John, ‘God is light’, and ‘God is love’. The gospel reading assures us that God’s love is always shining in whatever darkness we may find ourselves, and because genuine love is always life-giving, and God’s love is infinitely life-giving, at the heart of all darkness we will find not only light but also new life. In the words of our gospel reading, ‘that life was the light of all’. God works in life-giving ways even in situations that appear to be hopeless. Even when human beings threw God’s gift of his Son back in his face by crucifying his Son, God turned that to our good, by raising his Son from the dead and giving him to us as a light that endures forever. In the words of the second reading, the risen Lord ‘is the radiant light of God’s glory’. The light of God’s love for us simply cannot be extinguished. Paul put that very simply and very profoundly when he declared that nothing ‘will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord’. That is why we celebrate Christmas the way we do. The gifts we give to each other remind us of the greater gift of God’s Son that we rejoice in at this time of the year; the candles we light, the lights we turn on, remind us of the light of God’s love which shines brightly even when darkness seems to be triumphing, the visits we make to each other remind us of that great visitation of God to his people through his Son. We can allow ourselves to be happy in these days, because we have something to be happy about.

And/Or

(iv) Feast of Christmas Night

 We don’t often gather here in our parish church so late in the evening, at 9.00 pm. There are only two times in the year when we do that, on Christmas night and at the Easter Vigil. On those two nights we gather to celebrate the birth of Jesus and the resurrection of Jesus, the beginning and end of the story of Jesus as we find it in the gospels. On both occasions we gather in darkness, at night time. The story of the birth of Jesus which we have just heard is told by Luke as a night time event. It was while the shepherds were watching their flocks by night that the angels appeared to them and proclaimed the good news of a wonderful event that had just taken place, ‘a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord’. It is that same good news that is proclaimed to us tonight and that brings us together in this church long after the sun has set, at a time when we would normally be thinking about winding down for the day and getting ready for bed.

 As we gather in the darkness, we celebrate this feast of Christmas with candles and lights. The five candles on the Advent wreath, including the white one for the feast of Christmas, are all lighting; the lights of the Christmas tree are on. There was a tradition in the past of a candle being lit in the widow of our homes on this night. Christmas is a feast of light. In the wonderful opening words of our first reading tonight, ‘the people that walked in darkness has seen a great light; on those who live in a land of deep shadow a light has shone’. The child whose birth we celebrate tonight is the light of God’s love shining upon us. This light does not eliminate the darkness but it shines brightly within in. As Saint John says at the beginning of his gospel, ‘the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it’. We each have our own share of darkness, and for each of us the darkness is different. For some, this time of the year can accentuate the darkness. The loneliness of the bereaved and the isolated can be felt more sharply at this time of the year. Whatever darkness we may find ourselves in this Christmas, we are invited this night to allow ourselves to be bathed in the light of that wonderful news that the angels announced to the shepherds, ‘Today, in the town of Bethlehem, a Saviour has been born to you’ – to you, to each of us personally. In the mystery of a new born baby lying in a manger, a feeding trough for animals, we are being reminded that God is breathing his Spirit into the darkness of our lives.

 The child of Bethlehem is God’s gift to humanity, to each one of us. We give gifts to each other at this time of the year. It is as if deep down we realize that we have been greatly gifted or graced, and we want to give out of what we have received. Because of this night, we have each been wonderfully graced by God. In the opening words of tonight’s second reading, ‘God’s grace has been revealed’. A genuine gift is not something we have worked for or have earned or deserved. It is simply give to us out of love, and all that is asked of us is that we receive the gift and the love that it expresses. Jesus is God’s greatest gift to us. God does not ask us to earn or work for this gift. In the child of Bethlehem, God accepts us as we are and loves us without any merit on our part. All that God asks of us is that we receive this gift of his Son in faith and then to live out of the gift we have received. God desperately wants us to receive this gift because it is the gift of life. Jesus is the life-giver, given to us so that we can live fully human lives in this earthly life, and enter into eternal life beyond this earthly life.

 Sometimes giving can come easier to us than receiving. Many of us can find it easier to give than to receive. This feast of Christmas requires us to fine tune our capacity to receive, especially to receive from God. If we struggle to receive from others, we can struggle even more to receive from God, because we can image God as one who is constantly looking to receive from us. Yet, tonight’s feast reminds us that the initiative is always with God. In the words of the first letter of Saint John, ‘God first loved us’. Tonight we are called to have something of the openness of the shepherds to God’s gift. We are invited to go with them to the manger and to welcome this extraordinary grace into our lives. We find it easy to receive a new born child. We delight in taking the child into our arms. Perhaps God was making it easy for us to receive his love by immersing himself in the tiny, fragile flesh of a new born child. If this is how God has chosen to approach us, it may be saying something about how God wants to be approached by us. We come close to God in the way we come close to a child, gently and noiselessly, with no solemn talk but only plains words coming from a graced and grateful heart.

And/Or

(v) Feast of Christmas Night

 It is striking the efforts people make to get home for Christmas. Christmas is a feast that moves people to get back to their roots. It draws people to make contact with those who have helped to shape and form them. The feast of Christmas seems to have the power to bring us back to basics as it were. A striking example of that was to be found among the trenches near Armentieres on Christmas Day 1914. A twenty-five year old Lieutenant wrote a letter home in which he said: ‘Detachments of British and Germans formed a line and a German and British chaplain read some prayers alternately. The whole of this was done in great solemnity and reverence’. Here were sworn enemies fighting a bitter war. But, they also knew that at a much more basic level, they were fellow human beings, who had been equally graced by the birth of God’s Son. The feast of that day helped those men to see each other with new eyes. They beheld each other in a new light, the light of God’s love revealed in the birth of his Son. It is hard to conceive of any other Christian feast, or indeed the feast of any other religion, having that kind of power.

 The feast of Christmas can touch all our lives in an equally powerful way. We are not at war with others in the way those soldiers were at war with each other on that Christmas day almost 90 years ago. Yet, we might find ourselves coming to this feast of Christmas battered and bruised in various ways. Some of us here today may have come through, or be in the midst of, a painful experience of one kind or another. We may be embroiled in some form of conflict that leaves us drained. We may have suffered some significant loss in recent months. Some hope we cherished may not have materialized. Our health may have deteriorated. Our faith may have grown weak. We may be troubled by some wrong we did or some good we failed to do. What may be true of any one of us as individuals is true of our church. The church comes to this Christmas somewhat battered and bruised. The damage done by some priests to young children, and the failure of our bishops to deal with this situation adequately has affected us all.

 Wherever and however we find ourselves this Christmas, today’s feast invites us to look up, as it were, with the shepherds in the gospel reading. We hear for ourselves the words the shepherds heard: ‘Do not be afraid. Listen, I bring you news of great joy, a joy to be shared by the whole people. Today a saviour has been born to you’. A child has been born for all of us, whoever we are, whatever situation we find ourselves in. The birth of a child is a wonderful time for any family, a time of grace. Today we celebrate a birth that has graced us all, and continues to grace us all. The child of Mary and Joseph reveals the kindness and love of God for us all. God has given us the gift of his Son, and, having given this gift, God will never take it back. God’s Son has become our brother, our companion on the way, becoming like us in all things, but sin. God has become flesh and dwelt, and continues to dwell, among us. God’s Son who dwells among us invites us to receive from his fullness, grace upon grace. In receiving from him in this way, we are empowered to rise above all that oppresses us and diminishes us. Here is a wonderful gift that calls us out of our trenches, as it were, and has the potential to transform how we see ourselves and each other.

 Christmas is a feast of light. It is celebrated just as the days begin to get longer. Within our own tradition we have recognized this dimension of the feast of Christmas, with our custom of lighting candles and placing them in front of the windows of our homes. At Christmas we celebrate the coming into the world of the true light who enlightens everyone. The glory of the Lord shone around the shepherds and shines around all of us. We are invited to stand under that light, the light of God’s favour, and to allow that light to fill us and renew us. We are not asked to do anything to make this light shine. It is there; it is given to us. We are only asked to receive it and to become the light that we receive. The feast of Christmas assures us that the light shines in the darkness and the darkness will not overcome it. God has graced us in a very definitive way, and God’s gracious presence to us is a more fundamental reality than the darkness in which we find ourselves and which we sometimes help to create. This is the good news of great joy that was given to the shepherds on that first Christmas night and that is given to us today. It is this good news that is at the heart of all our Christmas celebrations.

And/Or

(vi) Feast of Christmas Night

 It is lovely to see so many people here in our parish church tonight. Apart from the Easter Vigil this is the only time we gather in church at nine o’clock at night. We are here because we want to be here. We feel drawn to join in the celebration of the Eucharist on this night above all nights. Our gathering together in church tonight as brothers and sisters in the Lord is one example of the gatherings that Christmas seems to inspire among us. In all kinds of ways we gather at Christmas time. People make a special effort to gather with their families at Christmas; our airports and ports and roads are exceptionally busy. All kinds of other gatherings happen at this time. In our own parish recently members of the hospitality group gathered the senior members of the parish community for a Christmas party in the parish centre. Tomorrow there will be a great gathering of Dublin’s poor and homeless in the Mansion House for a Christmas dinner. People tend to be very sensitive to those living on their own at this time of the year and often make a special effort to include them in some Christmas gathering or other. Instinctively we seem to make a special effort to include each other, at this time of the year. We may even go out of our way to connect with those from whom we have become estranged for one reason or another.

 Our particular gathering in this church springs from our faith in Jesus, whom tonight’s gospel reading speaks of as Saviour and Christ the Lord. We could be somewhere else at this time, but we are here and our presence here in this gathering is an expression of our faith. At times, we may feel that our faith in the Lord is not very strong. We may identify very easily with the prayer that the disciples once addressed to Jesus, ‘Lord, increase our faith’, or with the prayer of the father who approached Jesus to heal his son, ‘Lord, I believe, help my unbelief’. None of us would feel a stranger to those prayers. Yet, it is our shared faith in Jesus that has brought us here this Christmas night. We want to celebrate the birth of someone who has become significant for us, and we want to celebrate this birth not just on our own but with others for whom this particular birth is also significant. We gather because we recognize that the birth of this child in a stable at Bethlehem is good news for us all. The angel announced to the shepherds in tonight’s gospel reading, ‘Listen, I bring you news of great joy, a joy to be shared by the whole people’. The birth of this child was not just good news for a select few, but for the whole people, for everyone without exception. The impact of the birth of any child into a family will be felt by that family into eternity. The impact of the birth of this child will be felt by the whole people into eternity. We gather to savour this good news which is addressed to all of us and to each one of us personally. There is no shortage of bad news these days. Tonight we gather in faith to allow some truly good news to wash over us and renew us.

 Faith is always a response to God’s initiative. Tonight we gather in response to the extraordinary initiative that God took to enter into communion with the whole of humanity. God entered into communion with us by becoming one of us. The Word who was God became flesh and dwelt among us. It is God’s initiative to become flesh for our sakes that gathers us here in this church tonight. God became vulnerable in Mary’s child. God took the risk of becoming vulnerable so as to enter into a deeper communion with us all, and it was a risk. The vulnerable child who was born outside of Bethlehem went on to become the vulnerable adult who was crucified outside of Jerusalem. In between his birth and death as an outsider he spoke of himself as the Son of Man who had nowhere to lay his head. According to the letter to the Hebrews, he was like us in all things, but sin. God loves us enough to take the risk of entering into the deepest possible communion with us through his Son, Jesus. We are here this evening because, at some level of our being, we recognize the lengths God has gone to enter into our experience and we want to respond to God’s gracious initiative towards us. We want to be in communion with God through Jesus, in response to God’s desire to be in communion with us through Jesus. It has been said that the birth of every child is a small protest against the tired view that there is nothing new under the sun. The birth of the child we celebrate this night is a very large protest against such a view. Jesus spoke of his life and ministry as new wine. Tonight we are invited to drink of that new wine. As we do so we will hear the call to be as generous in our dealings with each other as God has been with us. In the words of tonight’s second reading, this Christmas feast calls on us to have no ambition except to do good.

And/Or

(vii) Feast of Christmas Night

 One of the verses in Patrick Kavanagh’s well-known poem, ‘A Christmas Childhood’, goes as follows, ‘A water-hen screeched in the bog, Mass-going feet Crunched the wafer-ice on the pot-holes, Somebody wistfully twisted the bellows wheel’. It was a poem that was born of loneliness and solitude. He penned it after spending a lonely Christmas in his flat in Dublin. He nostalgically looks back at the Christmases of his childhood in his native Monaghan. Christmas can be a lonely time for many people, those living alone, those who have been recently bereaved, those living far from home. Kavanagh’s loneliness that Christmas turned out to be a truly generative and creative moment for him.

 I was struck by the line in that verse, ‘Mass-going feet crunched the wafer-thin ice on the pot-holes’. I fond it very evocative. There may be less ‘Mass-going feet’ these days that there was when Patrick Kavanagh penned ‘A Christmas Childhood’. Yet, there is something about the feast of Christmas that brings people to Mass, especially on Christmas night. Christmas is a time when we feel the need to gather in various ways. Within our families we gather in each other’s homes, around each other’s tables. We gather with friends. Some of you will have been involved in organizing different kinds of gatherings in the past few weeks, such as the gathering of the senior members of our parish community we had recently in our parish centre. Many also feel the need to gather in church at this time, alongside others who are trying to follow in the way of the One whose birth we celebrate tonight.

 Tonight’s gospel reading begins with a reference to a decree of the first Roman Emperor, Caesar Augustus, for a census throughout his Empire, and it concludes with a heavenly host of angels praising God and announcing to some shepherds that God’s favour was resting on all men and women. The birth of Jesus was overshadowed both by the presence of the Roman Emperor and the presence of heavenly angels. It was rooted in history and, yet, somehow beyond it. It happened at a particular time and place in human history, and, yet, it transcended that historical time and place. This child was born to a particular young couple, Mary and Joseph, in a small town on the margins of the Roman Empire, and yet he was also born to everyone in every generation and place. As Saint Paul puts it in tonight’s second reading, ‘God’s grace has been revealed, and it has made salvation possible for the whole human race’. The birth of this child reveals God’s gracious love for all humanity. The birth of a child to a young couple in the town of Bethlehem that night would impact the whole human race for every succeeding generation, down to our own time. The birth of Jesus has, in some way, touched all of our lives, which is why we have gathered together here in this parish church on this Christmas night, why we are happy to belong among those Mass-going feet.

 Because of the birth of this child to Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem, we have all been greatly graced. God has given us the most precious gift he could give us, the gift of Jesus, the son of Mary and Joseph, but also God’s own Son. In coming among us through his Son, God has, in a sense, become one of us. God has taken the shape of a human life, and in doing so God has shown what a human life at its best looks like, what it is to be fully human. Jesus reveals ourselves to us. He also reveals God to us. The son of Mary and Joseph allows us to put a human face on God. There was a strong conviction in the Jewish Scriptures that people could not see God and live. Because God was so transcendent, so other, to see God was to die. Yet, through Jesus, God has become visible to us. When we look upon the face of God in Jesus, what we see is a face of love. That is why the message of the angel to the shepherds was, ‘Do not be afraid. Listen I bring you news of great joy’. Joy, not fear, is to characterize our relationship with God. In the words of the heavenly choir of angels at the end of the gospel reading, the birth of Jesus reveals God’s favour towards us, ‘Peace to all who enjoy God’s favour’.

 Perhaps one of the reasons we are happy to be among the Mass-going feet at Christmas time is that we sense that God has greatly favoured us through the birth of Jesus and his subsequent life, death and resurrection, and we want to respond in some way. God has graciously favoured us, without asking us to earn that favour. ‘God’s grace has been revealed’, in the words of Paul in the second reading. We are here tonight to acknowledge that God continues to favour and grace us through his Son and to give thanks to God for God’s favour. It is a night to allow ourselves to receive afresh God’s favour, to open our hearts anew to the light of God’s loving presence in Jesus, so that it penetrates whatever darkness we may find ourselves it. Christmas is the feast of God’s closeness. It is a feast that can bring us closer to God. Tonight we are invited to allow that to happen for us.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[fireintheforest]

Behind the Blue, chapter 21, part 1

The Prestige’s first floor reminded Saufinril of the theatre houses of the Isles: the wooden planks of the theatre with the curtains, and the tables for patrons in front of the stage, most of which were taken for the night, with waiters and waitresses running around, taking orders and placing dishes for the patrons. Add some gambling games and silks on the stage and this could bring him back to the Den. Of course, the Den is more packed on any day than this place. Grand reopening didn’t seem to have attracted that much attention or it was an exclusive event with exclusive prices for exclusive people.

Saufinril felt out of place, but did his best not to show it as he was escorted by the waiter to the second floor. The second floor was, probably, more exclusive than the first. There were smaller rooms on the back, elegantly furnished and with a curtain as a “door” to keep privacy, and boxes on the front that let patrons watch the play or show from a more private place. Men and women dined, drank, talked and laughed in the rooms that had the curtains open and allowing to peer inside, or outside. Now and then an Altmer face would appear in the company of men. And all those times, if they noticed Saufinril (which, to be honest, was kind of hard not to when you’re dressed in robes and walk with your head high even if inside you’re tempted to turn back and run), their gaze would go to the blue robes and the orchids in his hair.

The waiter took Saufinril to the room he was being expected at. And lo and behold. It wasn’t just a dinner with Bertraug. It’s a dinner with Bertraug, Armellon, Hawkcroft and three other Altmer.

No wonder he wanted a courtesan from the Isles, if he was having visits from there.

Shit, fuck, damn, Auri-El damn, shit, shit, shit, fuck, shit.

 As footman of the Hawkcroft manor (and the newest one at that), Toivon was charged with waiting for Emmanuel until his return again, since he’d left some hours ago. Was he thrilled about waiting for this fuck to come at fuck o’clock in the morning so he could open doors that he could open himself and then sleep for a couple of hours to wake up and then do this goddamn job all over again? No. He’d been cutting logs all morning and part of the afternoon too, and then since today Sorcise decided that this week the floors would be waxed and polished, he’d spent the rest of the evening moving the rooms on the west side of the first floor of the manor.

BUT! Was he excited about the chance to break into the office on the first floor and possibly the one on the second? Absolutely. And the best part was how none of the people doing the patrolling seemed to change the pattern. So he really just had to wait for the person doing the rounds to come, see him waiting, and then head to the east wing.

Which happened around 5 minutes later. The sleepy maid gave Toivon a shy smile and continued her round. Toivon just gave her a small nod (which she probably didn’t see) and followed her with his sight. The blue glow that her glowing orb spell gave shied away with every step she took. She turned the corner. The light dimmed…dimmed…dimmed…and was gone. As were the footsteps. As was Toivon, who headed to the east wing.

The silence of the manor and its engulfing darkness made the world feel like it was too still, and like you were too trapped in it. Any sounds echoed accusingly, any movement was a risk of detection. But still he moved, as a shadow, footsteps soft and swift. To the right, down the hallway, to the left, down another hallway, keep going- footsteps! Toivon ducked next to a table and froze. The footsteps approached. He stayed still. A light illuminated the hallway. It was another servant, the young man with buck teeth. He hummed to himself, balancing the orb on his hand as he turned on Toivon’s direction. Nerves that had been trained for decades told the Dunmer to remain put. Silent. The young servant kept walking, his song accompanying him as did the light, his gaze ahead and distracted. Following the shadow that moved thanks to the cast light, muscles moving in a trained way to keep silent, Toivon ducked under the table and went to his right as the humming man kept going to the left. Toivon was on the other side of the table and the man continued down the hallway, ruby eyes set on his back but the servant never felt them, never knew. Toivon stayed put again, and waited, until the light was gone. Then he got up again and continued his silent journey in the shadows, in the silence of the night. Nobody could prove he’d been there.

 The key, Saufinril realized, was to get them drunk enough to not realize how bad of a time they’re really having. And so far, it was working. The introduction made by Bertraug was a bit awkward (cannot blame him, though. He’s a man, after all) and he saw the daggers Armellon was throwing at him when he sat with the group. Hawkcroft, of course, was alright with him joining. “The more, the merrier” seemed to be his life motto when it came to gatherings and parties.

He was doing the best with what he had, Saufinril thought. He was never allowed to go to places where courtesans worked back in the Isles, he was too young for those ambiences and his stepfather hated them especially. But he did play some drinking games with friends in the Isles (when they knew they wouldn’t be caught by their parents) and in the College (when they knew they wouldn’t be caught by their teachers), had worked at a bar and bootlegging in Skyrim, and of course, lived and worked at the Den. The Den, of all places. Come on. He knew a thing or two about drunk people and drinking games.

“Alright both monsieur Emmanuel and serah Kelkemar take a drink! On the count of three. Serah, help one count. One,” he clapped, the rest of the guests clapping at the same time as he did, “Two, three!” both Emmanuel and the Altmer that had to take a drink took the small glass with the clear blue liquid and downed it in one take.

“Aaah that was so good, you both almost had it.” Saufinril said, giving a charming smile with a head tilt, as if he felt bad to be slowly killing his patrons’ livers while he refilled the glass of the patron to his left, which was beginning to run low.

“One must say,” the Altmer with the honey blond hair said, “one was not expecting half of these games.”

“One doesn’t even think one knows them.” Armellon commented, his gaze going to Saufinril, “Did you learn these in Alinor?”

Fuck this lawyer. “Some, yes!” Saufinril said with a smile, “Others, one has made them up.”

“When?” Emmanuel asked

“Right now.” Saufinril replied cheerfully. The men laughed, Armellon suppressed a smile and Saufinril grabbed a tall, discarded glass and put it in the center of the table, “Like this one.” And he started to pour one of the liqueurs Bertraug had bought in the glass. The rest of the guests observed with curiosity. When the glass needed one finger to be full to the brim, Saufinril stopped and closed the bottle as he said, “Alright, everyone put your right finger on the brim.”

The first one to do it was Emmanuel, followed by Armellon, then hesitantly Bertraug. Then the other three Altmer did.

“Aren’t you going to join, serah?” the Altmer named Kelkemar asked Saufinril

“Of course not, who’s going to officiate, then? One knows the game, you don’t.” Saufinril swatted Kelkemar’s arm teasingly (to be fair, though, he was very attractive. And Saufinril was very single. And not-very drunk. Even if his eyes were kind of green, actually reminding him of Eram- not now, Saufinril), then turned to the group, “Here is the dynamic. Very simple, because one can see some eyes are beginning to cross.” A ripple of discrete laugh among the present people, Armellon and another Altmer looked at the mer on Saufinril’s left in an especially pointed way, “One will clap to a rhythm, and following the rhythm, you have to tap the hand on your right with the finger in the glass only after you’ve been tapped yourselves. When one stops the clapping, you all have to point at someone. Whoever gets the most fingers pointed at, has to drink the glass without stopping.”

“That’s suicidal.” One of the guest Altmer said

“You’re welcome to watch from the sidelines, serah.” He removed his finger, “Anyone else?” nobody moved, “Good. Serah Torcano, then,” Saufinril stood up and moved to sit next to the Altmer that had quit the game, briefly and “by accident” touching his thigh when he sat next to him in order to give the people playing more room to get near, “accompany one with the clapping. And we start at one, two, three!” Saufinril tapped Armellon’s hand, who tapped Bertraug’s, then Emmanuel’s, then an Altmer’s, then another’s, then Armellon’s, as two other golden hands clapped a rhythm that accompanied the tapping.

 The key, Toivon thought as he observed the doors of the studio, probably has some way to disarm this keyhole. This was one door he could not just lockpick and get in. Because this was no ordinary keyhole. No. It couldn’t be in fucking High Rock. This keyhole had symbols around it and, remembering how Saufinril had used magic to unlock the keyhole in the chest, he knew he had no chance of opening it. He chewed the inside of his cheek. This is where Marcello could come in handy, he had some way of sneaking into places by the least likely entrance. In this case, he pondered, he had two options: he could look for the key of the studio (wouldn’t it be ironically funny if the key were that one damn copper key that they orchestrated all this circus around for? The one Emmanuel kept with him at all times?) and get in by the front door, or he could risk going out and entering by the window.

He probably should get back to his post. He knew he had time before the maid came around the front door again but he also needed to move slower to avoid noise and alerting the humming servant. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He’d seen Louis come and go in this study, this was probably where he worked, he needed to get in. Besides, it made no sense for Saufinril to be researching Emmanuel when he could look for both father and son at once, I mean he was most of the time in this house. If Saufinril was out with Bertraug and that lawyer, it made sense that he investigate there.

Whatever, he decided. Sorcise has to have the keys to Louis’s studio. Or Aubrey. Either one. Toivon trailed back the same way he came from, in no time reaching the front of the house. No indication of anyone having come in by the door or of come from the patrolling. Toivon set himself right where the maid had seen him last and crossed his arms.

The best way in was a key. The safest way was asking Sorcise. The easiest time was at night, when he was set to wait for this useless fuck that could open his own doors. He overestimated the time of the patrolling, but that’s alright. He could sneak in both rooms one night each. He’s looking for a motive for Louis or Bertraug to want to keep La Zadine for themselves, preferably a personal one, something that impacted them hard. Something that would make son or friend decide to turn against Emmanuel and hire a thief to steal a sapphire of that magnitude.

The sleepy maid came and gave Toivon a shy smile and continued her round. Toivon just gave her a small nod (which she probably didn’t see) and followed her with his sight. He sighed. This was going to be a long night.

[kumkaniudaku]

Wild N Out

A/N: A request for the amazing and patient @queenbutterfly2018 . This was a challenge that I did not expect but had a lot of fun with. I hope you enjoy! If it isn’t what you want, let me know and we’ll take another stab at it. 

“Wild’n, wild’n...”

Chadwick stood in the hallway of the downtown Los Angeles venue, bouncing on his toes to shake some of his anxious energy away. When he got an invite to appear on the improv comedy show hosted by Nick Cannon, he allowed his wife to pressure him into accepting the invitation against his better judgment. To Chadwick, sketch comedy wasn’t his idea of a good time. He didn’t mind watching live during a date night with CoCo, or even spending hours of mindless time watch the popular television show, but participating was a different beast.

“I got somebody that’s gon’ try and take my comedy crown. You seen him be Jackie Robinson, James Brown, T’Challa and probably ya uncle. Tonight, he’s the Captain of the Black Squad. Y’all know him, Chadwick Boseman!”

Taking one last deep breath, Chadwick started a slow trot to the stage. In the short time beneath the bright lights, he noticed that the person responsible for his appearance on the show was suddenly absent from her front row seat. There was no time to process Tasha’s absence before he was pulled into a dap and hug by Nick Cannon.

“Now I know you like the Master Actor out here these days, but we've never seen you in a comedy role. You think you can hang tonight.”

Chadwick scoffed and smiled, “C’mon man. I’m me.”

“Alright, alright,” Nick laughed in the midst of the oohs and ahhs from the crown. “See, I knew you were coming, so I made sure the Red Squad was stacked. We had to bring out the big guns.”

“Hopefully it’s a ghostwriter. I’ve seen you in the wild style and it ain’t nice.”

“It’s terrible,” Emmanuel Hudson yelled from across the stage. “Worst shit I ever heard. You should throw all of your studio equipment in the middle of the ocean. Then jump in behind it. And drown.”

A chorus of laughter erupted in the building, becoming contagious as Chadwick let go of a few chuckles and some of his nerves.”

“Anyway,” Nick interrupted. “For the first time in Wild N Out history, I’m giving up my captain’s seat to somebody that I know can beat you. She told me to call her the HBIC and the B stands for Boseman. We got your lady in the house, Tashaaaa Boseman!”

With “Last Time That I Checc’d,” playing as her walk out music, CoCo confidently strolled onto the stage with a smug smile and a mischievous grin on her face. She’d been intentionally quiet about her invitation to appear being the catalyst behind her working double time to convince her husband to step out of his comfort zone.

Once Chadwick was over the shock of seeing Tasha step through the tunnel, his eyes flickered with a competitive drive.

“Hey, baby,” Tasha sultry voice spoke into the microphone. “You ready for me to whoop that ass in front of all these people?”

“I hear you talking big shit. Just don’t be surprised when I have on my championship belt in the bedroom tonight, Co.”

After sharing a friendly kiss, Chadwick and Tasha turned to join their respective teams and listen to the instructions for the first game.

“Alright, the name of the game is Got Damned,” Emmanuel started, imitating an old school referee. Even though they were on opposite teams, Chad and CoCo caught eyes and burst into giggles at the act.

A member of each team was called to the center of the stage to participate in an old fashioned game of the dozens. By the middle of the game, Chadwick was in tears from the sheer absurdity of the jokes. Tasha wanted in on the action.

“Give me Tasha! Give me Justina!”

The crowd’s cheers became lost in the background as Tasha stepped forward and grinned from ear to ear.

“Girl, if you don’t get your 'Thank you for being a friend,' Golden Girls old ass outta here,” Justina started.

“I know you ain’t talking with your big back, Clay Matthews from the Packers built ass.”

“If I’m built like Clay Matthews then you must be Spock with them gahdamn Star Trek ass ears.”

Tasha took the joke like a pro while assessing the competition. “Sis, if you don’t get your Frank Sinatra’s face, Khloe Kardashian’s old body having ass outta here!”

When Justine opened her mouth to counter, her speech faltered, causing her to stutter. The misstep garnered a reaction from the audience and the cast on the stage.

“You’re out!” Emmanuel’s declaration came with a gesture for Justine to rejoin her team a bell indicating that the red squad had received the point.

“DJ D-Wreck, who won that game, man?”

“It was close but, it looks like the Red Squad got that one!”

Tasha felt a surge of pride, knowing that she contributed to the win. Her pride matched Chadwick, who tried to keep his admiration lowkey.

If anyone were to ask him, his wife was everything light and fun in their relationship. She had the better jokes, was voted best song singer by the kids and always became the life of the party when they would have their famous monthly gatherings. If circumstances were different and they weren’t on different teams, he’d be congratulating her on her went. Unfortunately, he was forced to defeat his wife on national television. He could apologize for the beatdown later.

Nick continued to fly through games, some that neither Tasha or Chadwick felt qualified to participate. They were content to bobbing their heads along with the rap portions or adding a couple of chuckles to the mesh with the audiences’ laughter. In others, like Plead the Fifth, the Black Squad took the lead when Tasha and Chadwick were pitted against each other.

“Mrs. Boseman. I hear your nickname is CoCo. Can I call you CoCo,” Conceited asked.

“Never in your life, sweetheart, but continue.”

“Oh-kay! I just have one question. On a scale of 1 to 10… how much does Chadwick...hate working with those white people at Marvel. We’ve seen the pictures! How much does he hate it, Tasha!”

Chadwick looked at his wife’s eyes shut, and her lips become tucked into her mouth as she tried to stifle a laugh, half hoping she wouldn’t answer for a variety of reasons.

“Oh my God,” Tasha groaned while “answer him” chants grew in intensity. “I...plead the fifth.”

When the next segment was introduced, the couple made it a point to try and interact with their respective teams.

“ATL makes some noise! We back like we never left. It’s been a wild night all because of Ms. Tashaaaa.”

CoCo made sure to make an animated face in the camera before waving to the crowd.

“Damn, you just gon’ act like I ain’t playing? I mean, my team is winning.”

“Not for long! I’m coming for your ass tonight,” Tasha hollered across the stage.

“Is that a promise?” Chadwick’s suggestive comment didn’t go unnoticed by Tasha or the crowd, earning a mixed back of reactions and a subtle wink from his wife.

“Okay, okay. Sound like y’all are ready for the next game. What you got for us D-Wreck?”

“This next one is called Let Me Holla. We’ll bring a Wild N Out girl to the stage, and each team takes turns trying to holla at her. Good pick up lines get a bell; bad ones get a buzzer. Let’s get a Wild N Out girl to the stage?”

As the pretty blonde made her way into the spotlight, both Chadwick and Tasha made it a point to turn the friendly competition up a notch. Both teams went back and forth with pick-up lines varying from hilariously innocent to suggestive and downright raunchy. After B. Simone received a buzzer on the Black Squad, the scores were even, leaving the door wide open for a win.

Chico Bean was next to step to the young lady. “Hey, baby, do you have sex with men you meet the first night?”

“Uh...no?”

“Good, then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tasha could feel her face getting sore from laughter that halted the moment the noise from D-Wreck’s bell turned into excited cheers from the crowd. Looking over, she was shocked to see Chadwick swagging his way to woman on stage. In a rush of adrenaline, Tasha dashed to join him on stage, sandwiching the woman between them.

Neither Tasha or Chadwick spoke. Instead, they took turns pointing between each other and the young woman while smiling. When that didn’t work, Chadwick reached across to pull Tasha into a kiss before pulling away and resuming the silent charade. Their display of affection and its not so hidden meaning made the blonde’s face flush as she bit her lip. Finally, she linked arms with both of her “suitors” and began to walk off stage, giving both teams a bell and ending the game.

Nick Cannon’s face, a mix of shock and intrigue, was priceless as he stepped on stage to mediate as Tasha and Chadwick exchanged a high five and returned to their respective teams.

“We wild’n out for real, huh? That one was too close to call, D-Wreck. Tell us who won.”

“Even with the double bell, the Red Squad had the most luck with the ladies. Give it up for them!”

“Aye, we all tied up around here, and we’re coming back to settle it the Wild Style battle. So, sit ya ass down because we’re coming right back!”

Tasha felt her stomach churn at the mention of the final battle. There was a laundry list of things she didn’t consider herself good at, and freestyle rapping was at the top. A quick break for some crowd shenanigans gave Chadwick time to break away from his group and check on CoCo.

“You good,” he asked as he handed her a bottle of water and bumped her shoulder. “Ready for this to be over as much as I am?”

“If I could end it right here and not have to rap in front of all these people, I’d gladly take my win and leave.”

“Oh, so you think you can just beat me without a fight, Cookie. Nuh uh! We play all the way through in this household.”

“But I can’t rap!”

“And I can’t do improv,” he laughed. “But I did that stupid props game and ended up winning. I got out of my comfort zone, and now it’s your turn.” A quick signal from a producer on set let the couple know that it was time to split up and wrap the taping, prompting Chadwick to end the conversation. “Get on out there Champ. If I lose, I want it to be because you beat me. Got it?”

His reassuring smile came with an extended fist which CoCo bumped to complete the gesture. “I got it. But if I suck, we never speak of it again.”

“Now you know damn well I can’t do that.”

She didn’t have time to respond before Nick was returning from the planned television break and introducing the Wild Style battle. Though nervous, CoCo tried to push all thoughts of possible humiliation from her mind and focus on coming up with rhyming words while others around her rapped. With the number of people on stage, she hoped she’d easily be looked over. Most hosts that weren’t known musicians or comedians tended to skip out on participating even if bated. Tasha hoped she could do the same.

“Aye, Tasha.” The mention of her name made her body still with fear before settling back into reality. “Bring that ass here, girl!”

CoCo’s mind pinged with all of the ways being called out by resident funny guy, DC Young Fly, could turn into a disaster. He was known for not only being outlandish in his delivery but also being good at his craft. She’d watched him completely eviscerate opponents all night and joining in on a laugh here and there. Now, she was on the receiving end and terrified of what was coming.

She didn’t move from the back of the pack under her own power. All she felt was several hands pushing her forward as she willed her facial expressions to morph into something that screamed confidence.

“Now Ms. Tasha, I know you old but I still think you groovy, so when are you gon’ stop fucking this nigga that gets his ass whooped in all his movies?”

Chadwick took the joke in stride with a cool laugh and shook his head. With the end of the game drawing closer, he didn’t care what went on as long as it was on its way to being over. Instead, he chose to give Tasha a subtle nod for encouragement.

Tasha had two options. She could laugh and return to the crowd without a rebuttal or take a stab at defending her man. CoCo chose the latter. Grabbing the mic, she took a deep breath and prepared to give her first televised freestyle a fair shot.

“DC, I’ll tell you a secret, real quick, don’t no woman want a man built like a used toothpick.”

The reaction to her response was instantaneous laughter from both teams and the audience. D-Wreck rewarded her effort with a quick bell before the battle progressed to an old school showdown between Chico and Karlous. She was excited and proud at the same time as she moved back to the side to make room in the center of the group. Chadwick was happy for her too, giving her a subtle wink and nod from across the room.

By the end of the battle, the bells and buzzers had become so mixed in everyone’s heads that no one was aware of the score until Nick called over to the DJ booth for an official tally.

“I got a feeling I get to keep my comedy belt this time, D-Wreck, but who won that game, man?”

“That battle was crazy...but the Black Squad got more bells in the end for the win!”

Chadwick smiled as he was presented with the gold plated souvenir and led to the spot beside Nick Cannon to end the show.

“You came in here, stole, and stole my belt. What you got to say to the people?” “Not much, man. Thank you for having me out here to whoop yo ass and give my lady and me something new to add to the trophy case. C’mere girl.”

Tasha smiled as Chadwick pulled her to his side and handed her the mic. “Let the record reflect that I technically won too because what’s his is mine,” she laughed.

“There it is! Let’s get to it. Everybody get out ya seats, turn your TV up and make some noise for Lil Baby!”

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[somedaywithflyingcolors]

Tymee Thoughts Tuesday #1

February 25, 2020

1. EDSA Revolution and Imelda Marcos

Today, the Filipino people celebrates the 34th year  that we were able to overthrow a dictator, Ferdinand Marcos through collective action. And this was not a single dictatorship, it was conjugal. Ferdinand Marcos ruled hand in hand with her wife, Imelda Romualdez Marcos. The “beautiful” and extravagant Imelda.

Under the Marcos Regime, they were able to stay in power for as long as 21 years. They declared Martial Law which lasted a good eight years with the excuse of extinguishing rising communist threats (exaggerated to extend and increase their power). During the regime, 70,000 were jailed as political prisoners. 35,000 were tortured. Almost 3,000 were killed. Human rights were violated.

Luckily, this week, I have had the chance to watch two documentaries featuring the iconic First Lady. Ramona Diaz’ Imelda (2003) and Lauren Greenfield’s The Kingmaker (2019). 

While Ferdinand Marcos seems to be very predictable and lawyerly-like, Imelda, with her beauty, wits, and charm, is very spontaneous. The narcissistic woman and her edifice complex seems to make her appear someone not to be taken seriously. This was all part of the act. The 3,000 pairs of shoes, the lavish dresses, the terno, the hair, it was part of her brand. She wants to appear as someone laughable but she does that with the intent to manipulate us.

In the Ramona Diaz documentary, she goes on explaining her absurd theories of life from apple to apple and here obsession with beauty as part of the Circle of Life -- how beauty is love applied. It was funny at first and would make you believe that she needs psychological help (fun fact: in the kingmaker it was revealed that she was actually brought in a psychological hospital in New York where the doctor aid that she’s okay, she just could not take politics, so Ferdinand said that he will give up politics for her, which obviously didn’t happen, but after that incident, Imelda is a new person). Afterwards, it starts becoming horrifying.

This quote from the documentary reveals how out of touch Imelda was with the reality of the situation. Truly, the best villains in a story are those that think they're the hero.

Let’s now jump to the Kingmaker!!! This one talks more about the rise authoritarianism, how the Marcoses are going back power. It acknowledges that Imelda is an unreliable narrator but is a very instinctive and powerful political animal.

A great point that hits home is when a footage jumped on the kids in a high school asking what their thoughts were on martial law. All they said were positive (but untrue) accounts of the Marcos regime. The history was revised. The memory of tortured heroes, forgotten. The children had a Utopian view of the Martial Law Era, seeing it as a time of economic progress and discipline, when it fact it is very far from the truth.

That said, it show the importance of writing our histories, sharing them with the world, because with the rise of authoritarianism, the strong-man narrative of Rodrigo Duterte (our current president), one the only ways that we do not fall to the same mistakes of history is to study it, remember it, and learn from it. It is scary to imagine another Martial Law, but seeing the political climate now, the future is not very far. We need to educate more, be vigilant. Hold our line and contribute in our nation-building. Contribute in defending our freedom.

 Another feature of the film that I didn’t know before was how Imelda displaced 254 families, a community in Calauit, an inhabited island, just to house the animals coming from Kenya. Now, the safari and its animals, with no budget, no veterinarians, are suffering. The community in there were suffering as well. This is a metaphor for the Regime’s way of using their power as well as their priorities once in power.

Some key takeaways:

- The EDSA Revolution was not bloodless. The revolution began 14 years ago. Saying that it is peaceful and bloodless disregards the unsung heroes that were killed in the process.

- The Filipinos are very forgiving. What we Filipinos should learn is that while we can forgive, it is also important that we hold those that wronged us accountable. It is almost unthinkable how a family of someone that plundered an estimate of half a trillion peso can still return to power.

- As much we can, we must also continue to speak of the people that were against this dictatorship as someone to emulate. One person from the panel said that for every time we are angry and mention the Marcoses name, we must spread the names of the people who toppled the dictatorship ten times so as to have someone to emulate and be known. People like Edgar Jopson, Archimedes Trajano, Primitivo Mijares, Pete Lacaba, Emmanuel Lacaba, Lorena Barros. They are the heroes that need to be broadcasted more in this narrative. Less of the narcissism of Imelda and more of the injustice and violations of democracies during that time.

-Duterte and Marcos are experts of the Filipino Psychology. While we academics tend to be very rational and logical, these politicians know how to tickle the minds of the Filipinos to allure them into believing that they are someone that they could trust. Now, they not only use the media. They also use weaponize the Internet in a way that would benefit their narrative. Their propaganda continues with all the lies and the fake news.

Sorry this was mostly me talking about Imelda and their injustices during their time in power. I still have so many words and I really can’t help but be outraged. It was just so outrageous to think that (1) they are slowly going back in power, (2) they have no remorse nor guilt over what they did, (3) they have single (double??)handedly affected the influenced major key factors of today’s time, mostly relating to the economic status of the country.

ANYWAY, here are some of the other thoughts that have passed through and plagued my mind through the week!!

2. Valentines Day Podcasts

Because it is still February, go on and check some of the cool podcasts about it!

Here’s Usapang Econ Podcast that discusses the economics of love and valentines!! (In Filipino, sorry international audience :( ) 

And this episode of Debatable by Nina and Kyle that discussed some debate motions about love and valentines. I really enjoyed their chaotic energy there. I ship the two too, so that’s a plus! (Seriously Kyle, why would you leave Nina hanging on your Valentines Dinner for a Bumble Date??)

3. You will be judged not by what you do but by what you did not do. Some musing on where best to spend my time.

I have been thinking about the organizations that I need to join and the things I need to do to be able to land a good job once I graduate. I want to do an internship. In the my course, an internship is voluntary. In the Philippines, unlike in the US or other Western Countries, becoming an Intern just because you want exposure on something is not the fad. Internships are a mandatory thing needed before you graduate. However, I don’t want to just go with the flow.  I want to gain real life experience on real things, especially on the work that I am most interested in. This was triggered by this Rappler Article regarding internship, wherein, apparently, aside from a CV, I also need to pin a portfolio of a work that I’ve done. I am beginning to become convinced that for me to land a good job someday, I need to begin looking for connections related to the job that I want to do. A thick CV won’t cut it. I want to maximize my skills and opportunities here in college while I still can.

Tomorrow, I will be awarded as one of the University Scholars of my University. It can be assumed that I am a good student, I get good grades, pass my work on time. But am I really limited just by the grades that I earned inside the classroom? Should I rush into looking for a workplace or should I just continue doing the things that I’m currently doing (because it seems to be working). Should I dare to be more than what I am now?

Because that entails sacrifice. It may mean less time for family, less sleep, less time for myself. God knows how much I value my time alone. But God also knows how much time I waste for resting and sanity breaks (a little bit too much break tbh). Another fear that I have is going against the harmonious relationship that I think I have now with my family. Saying that I want to do an Internship, which is not included in the curriculum, may raise some eyebrows from the people in my family. I think I need more courage to explain to them the value of doing such things. I remember a saying that I don’t know where I remember from (maybe in the Bible, but I can’t find it): You are judged not by the good that you do, but by the good that you choose not to do. What am I not doing? How can I be better? 

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

17th August >> Mass Readings (Europe, Africa, New Zealand, Australia & Canada)

Saturday, Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time

Or

Our Lady of Knock (Ireland)

Or

Saturday memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Saturday, Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time

(Liturgical Colour: White)

(Readings for the feria (Saturday))

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Saturday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading

Joshua 24:14-29

'The Lord is a holy God, a jealous God'

Joshua said to all the people, ‘Fear the Lord and serve him perfectly and sincerely; put away the gods that your ancestors served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if you will not serve the Lord, choose today whom you wish to serve, whether the gods that your ancestors served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are now living. As for me and my House, we will serve the Lord.’

The people answered, ‘We have no intention of deserting the Lord and serving other gods! Was it not the Lord our God who brought us and our ancestors out of the land of Egypt, the house of slavery, who worked those great wonders before our eyes and preserved us all along the way we travelled and among all the peoples through whom we journeyed? What is more, the Lord drove all those peoples out before us, as well as the Amorites who used to live in this country. We too will serve the Lord, for he is our God.’

Then Joshua said to the people, ‘You cannot serve the Lord, because he is a holy God, he is a jealous God who will not forgive your transgressions or your sins. If you desert the Lord to follow alien gods he in turn will afflict and destroy you after the goodness he has shown you.’ The people answered Joshua, ‘No; it is the Lord we wish to serve.’ Then Joshua said to the people, ‘You are witnesses against yourselves that you have chosen the Lord, to serve him.’ They answered, ‘We are witnesses.’ ‘Then cast away the alien gods among you and give your hearts to the Lord the God of Israel!’ The people answered Joshua, ‘It is the Lord our God we choose to serve; it is his voice that we will obey.’

That day, Joshua made a covenant for the people; he laid down a statute and ordinance for them at Shechem. Joshua wrote these words in the Book of the Law of God. Then he took a great stone and set it up there, under the oak in the sanctuary of the Lord, and Joshua said to all the people, ‘See! This stone shall be a witness against us because it has heard all the words that the Lord has spoken to us: it shall be a witness against you in case you deny your God.’ Then Joshua sent the people away, and each returned to his own inheritance.

After these things Joshua son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died; he was a hundred and ten years old.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 15(16):1-2,5,7-8,11

R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord.

Preserve me, God, I take refuge in you.

I say to the Lord: ‘You are my God.’

O Lord, it is you who are my portion and cup;

it is you yourself who are my prize.

R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord.

I will bless the Lord who gives me counsel,

who even at night directs my heart.

I keep the Lord ever in my sight:

since he is at my right hand, I shall stand firm.

R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord.

You will show me the path of life,

the fullness of joy in your presence,

at your right hand happiness for ever.

R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord.

Gospel Acclamation

cf. Colossians 3:16a,17

Alleluia, alleluia!

Let the message of Christ, in all its richness,

find a home with you;

through him give thanks to God the Father.

Alleluia!

Or:

Matthew 11:25

Alleluia, alleluia!

Blessed are you, Father,

Lord of heaven and earth,

for revealing the mysteries of the kingdom

to mere children.

Alleluia!

Gospel

Matthew 19:13-15

Do not stop the little children coming to me

People brought little children to Jesus, for him to lay his hands on them and say a prayer. The disciples turned them away, but Jesus said, ‘Let the little children alone, and do not stop them coming to me; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.’ Then he laid his hands on them and went on his way.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

———————-

Our Lady of Knock (Ireland)

(Liturgical Colour: White)

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Saturday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading

Genesis 3:9-15,20

'The offspring of the woman will crush your head'

After Adam had eaten of the tree the Lord God called to him. ‘Where are you?’ he asked. ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden;’ he replied ‘I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.’ ‘Who told you that you were naked?’ he asked ‘Have you been eating of the tree I forbade you to eat?’ The man replied, ‘It was the woman you put with me; she gave me the fruit, and I ate it.’ Then the Lord God asked the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ The woman replied, ‘The serpent tempted me and I ate.’

Then the Lord God said to the serpent, ‘Because you have done this,

‘Be accursed beyond all cattle,

all wild beasts.

You shall crawl on your belly and eat dust

every day of your life.

I will make you enemies of each other:

you and the woman,

your offspring and her offspring.

It will crush your head

and you will strike its heel.’

The man named his wife ‘Eve’ because she was the mother of all those who live.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

1 Samuel 2:1,4-8

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

My heart exults in the Lord.

I find my strength in my God;

my mouth laughs at my enemies

as I rejoice in your saving help.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

The bows of the mighty are broken,

but the weak are clothed with strength.

Those with plenty must labour for bread,

but the hungry need work no more.

The childless wife has children now

but the fruitful wife bears no more.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

It is the Lord who gives life and death,

he brings men to the grave and back;

it is the Lord who gives poverty and riches.

He brings men low and raises them on high.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

He lifts up the lowly from the dust,

from the dungheap he raises the poor

to set him in the company of princes

to give him a glorious throne.

For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,

on them he has set the world.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

Gospel Acclamation

cf. Luke 1:28

Alleluia, alleluia!

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee!

Blessed art thou among women.

Alleluia!

Or:

cf. Luke 1:45

Alleluia, alleluia!

Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who believed

that the promise made her by the Lord would be fulfilled.

Alleluia!

Or:

cf. Luke 2:19

Alleluia, alleluia!

Blessed is the Virgin Mary,

who treasured the word of God

and pondered it in her heart.

Alleluia!

Or:

Luke 11:28

Alleluia, alleluia!

Happy are those

who hear the word of God

and keep it.

Alleluia!

Or:

Alleluia, alleluia!

Blessed are you, holy Virgin Mary,

and most worthy of all praise,

for the sun of justice, Christ our God,

was born of you.

Alleluia!

Or:

Alleluia, alleluia!

Happy is the Virgin Mary,

who, without dying,

won the palm of martyrdom

beneath the cross of the Lord.

Alleluia!

Gospel

Matthew 1:1-16,18-23

The ancestry and conception of Jesus Christ

A genealogy of Jesus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham:

Abraham was the father of Isaac,

Isaac the father of Jacob,

Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,

Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah, Tamar being their mother,

Perez was the father of Hezron,

Hezron the father of Ram,

Ram was the father of Amminadab,

Amminadab the father of Nahshon,

Nahshon the father of Salmon,

Salmon was the father of Boaz, Rahab being his mother,

Boaz was the father of Obed, Ruth being his mother,

Obed was the father of Jesse;

and Jesse was the father of King David.

David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,

Solomon was the father of Rehoboam,

Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asa,

Asa was the father of Jehoshaphat,

Jehoshaphat the father of Joram,

Joram the father of Azariah,

Azariah was the father of Jotham,

Jotham the father of Ahaz,

Ahaz the father of Hezekiah,

Hezekiah was the father of Manasseh,

Manasseh the father of Amon,

Amon the father of Josiah;

and Josiah was the father of Jechoniah and his brothers.

Then the deportation to Babylon took place.

After the deportation to Babylon:

Jechoniah was the father of Shealtiel,

Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel,

Zerubbabel was the father of Abiud,

Abiud the father of Eliakim,

Eliakim the father of Azor,

Azor was the father of Zadok,

Zadok the father of Achim,

Achim the father of Eliud,

Eliud was the father of Eleazar,

Eleazar the father of Matthan,

Matthan the father of Jacob;

and Jacob was the father of Joseph the husband of Mary;

of her was born Jesus who is called Christ.

This is how Jesus Christ came to be born. His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph; but before they came to live together she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph; being a man of honour and wanting to spare her publicity, decided to divorce her informally. He had made up his mind to do this when the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because she has conceived what is in her by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you must name him Jesus, because he is the one who is to save his people from their sins.’ Now all this took place to fulfil the words spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son

and they will call him Emmanuel,

a name which means ‘God-is-with-us.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

———————————-

Saturday memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary

(Liturgical Colour: White)

First Reading

Genesis 3:9-15,20

‘The offspring of the woman will crush your head’

After Adam had eaten of the tree the Lord God called to him. ‘Where are you?’ he asked. ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden;’ he replied ‘I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.’ ‘Who told you that you were naked?’ he asked ‘Have you been eating of the tree I forbade you to eat?’ The man replied, ‘It was the woman you put with me; she gave me the fruit, and I ate it.’ Then the Lord God asked the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ The woman replied, ‘The serpent tempted me and I ate.’

Then the Lord God said to the serpent, ‘Because you have done this,

‘Be accursed beyond all cattle,

all wild beasts.

You shall crawl on your belly and eat dust

every day of your life.

I will make you enemies of each other:

you and the woman,

your offspring and her offspring.

It will crush your head

and you will strike its heel.’

The man named his wife ‘Eve’ because she was the mother of all those who live.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

1 Samuel 2:1,4-8

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

My heart exults in the Lord.

I find my strength in my God;

my mouth laughs at my enemies

as I rejoice in your saving help.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

The bows of the mighty are broken,

but the weak are clothed with strength.

Those with plenty must labour for bread,

but the hungry need work no more.

The childless wife has children now

but the fruitful wife bears no more.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

It is the Lord who gives life and death,

he brings men to the grave and back;

it is the Lord who gives poverty and riches.

He brings men low and raises them on high.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

He lifts up the lowly from the dust,

from the dungheap he raises the poor

to set him in the company of princes

to give him a glorious throne.

For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,

on them he has set the world.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

Gospel Acclamation

cf. Luke 1:28

Alleluia, alleluia!

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee!

Blessed art thou among women.

Alleluia!

Gospel

Matthew 1:1-16,18-23

The ancestry and conception of Jesus Christ

A genealogy of Jesus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham:

Abraham was the father of Isaac,

Isaac the father of Jacob,

Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,

Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah, Tamar being their mother,

Perez was the father of Hezron,

Hezron the father of Ram,

Ram was the father of Amminadab,

Amminadab the father of Nahshon,

Nahshon the father of Salmon,

Salmon was the father of Boaz, Rahab being his mother,

Boaz was the father of Obed, Ruth being his mother,

Obed was the father of Jesse;

and Jesse was the father of King David.

David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,

Solomon was the father of Rehoboam,

Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asa,

Asa was the father of Jehoshaphat,

Jehoshaphat the father of Joram,

Joram the father of Azariah,

Azariah was the father of Jotham,

Jotham the father of Ahaz,

Ahaz the father of Hezekiah,

Hezekiah was the father of Manasseh,

Manasseh the father of Amon,

Amon the father of Josiah;

and Josiah was the father of Jechoniah and his brothers.

Then the deportation to Babylon took place.

After the deportation to Babylon:

Jechoniah was the father of Shealtiel,

Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel,

Zerubbabel was the father of Abiud,

Abiud the father of Eliakim,

Eliakim the father of Azor,

Azor was the father of Zadok,

Zadok the father of Achim,

Achim the father of Eliud,

Eliud was the father of Eleazar,

Eleazar the father of Matthan,

Matthan the father of Jacob;

and Jacob was the father of Joseph the husband of Mary;

of her was born Jesus who is called Christ.

This is how Jesus Christ came to be born. His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph; but before they came to live together she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph; being a man of honour and wanting to spare her publicity, decided to divorce her informally. He had made up his mind to do this when the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because she has conceived what is in her by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you must name him Jesus, because he is the one who is to save his people from their sins.’ Now all this took place to fulfil the words spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son

and they will call him Emmanuel,

a name which means ‘God-is-with-us.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ.

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 51.04 - Emmanuel, Cam vs St Andrews

Here’s your first starter for ten - what links Wenlock and Mandeville of London, Kingsley of Partick Thistle, and Manny and Ellie of Emmanuel College, Cambridge? 

Okay, that was a pretty easy one, but I don’t write the questions for the show, so cut me some slack. Anyway, that’s right, they are all mascots. 

Wenlock and Mandeville represented the London 2012 Olympics (they were apparently formed from the final girder of the Olympic stadium [presumably through some sort of arcane alchemy] and have a single eye which is meant to be a camera, implying that they are part of some sort of state surveillance authority, disturbingly). 

Kingsley is the game-day mascot of Scottish football team Partick Thistle, and looks like this, which is perhaps even scarier than the idea of the London mascots keeping tabs on you. 

Manny and Ellie, meanwhile. are a lion and duck respectively, and sit in the centre of the Emmanuel quartet for tonight’s University Challenge first round match. Emmanuel are making their first appearance on the show since the third of three consecutive quarter-finals in 2019. Manny and Ellie accompanied them on each of those campaigns, beginning with the Bobby Seagull-captained 2016-17 side. 

That year they also had a Klein bottle - called ‘Kleiny the Bottle’, which had been made for Bobby by one of his Year 8 students. Other teams have had a good mascot game at various times (St Andrews appear to have a lobster this year for example), but in terms of sheer consistency and brand recognition I think Emma are probably the most reliably solid UC team on this front.

St Andrews are one of the most reliable UC teams on another, less desirable front, as their current streak of seven appearances without making a quarter-final is only bettered by Nottingham with nine. Unlike Emmanuel, this is one reputation they will be hoping to shake off, starting tonight against Manny, Ellie and the rest of the Emma team. 

Its Ellie who gets proceedings underway with an incredible buzz on a question about whether or not duck quacks echo, but unfortunately these points are disqualified on account of her being a duck, and inanimate, and the fact that I made all of that up.

The actual first queston goes to Emmanuel’s Thatte, who takes far too long (though still quicker than the rest of the contestants) to recognise a Benedict Cumberbatc from a list of his roles, one of which was his character from Starter for Ten. They grab a pair of bonuses on Shakespeare to take a twenty point lead, before Thatte takes his second starter in a row to make it thirty.

McMenamin, who has the most Scottish name of anyone on the St Andrews team, but who is actually from London, guesses Physics for the next starter on the basis of the letter P in the initialisation APS, and is right. The Scots quartet are off the mark. Fennell takes the first picture starter on equatorial countries, but their weaker bonuswork leaves them fifteen points adrift.

I was about to tell Paxman off for his pronunciation of Iga Swiatek’s name, but it turns out he’s totally right, and it is I who is the fool. Still, Emmanuel don’t know that she’s from Poland either way. It doesn’t matter, because they are miles clear. Their lead is helped by a neg from St Andrews, which Wrathall picks up. The bonuses which arise from this are on Ru Paul’s Drag Race, which delights Emmanuel.

The music starter is far too easy, and Fennell gets St Andrews involved again by identifying Oliver! a few beats into ‘Consider Yourself’... They get a couple of the bonuses to close within forty five points, but Thatte stops any thoughts of a comeback. They get all three bonuses on modern piracy, including one on Captain Phillips, about which they have an amusing discussion, nearly going with Captain Tom, before that man Thatte remembers the correct answer.

Paman lets Alderson off for saying the Sea of Bothnia rather than the Gulf of Bothnia, and St Andrews continue their renaissance with the second picture starter, and after the bonuses they are somehow only five points behind! We have a match on our hands! Where did this come from?

McMenamin negs the very next starter, but Pullinger starts conferring when it is offered to Emmanuel, and they don’t get it either. Pullinger then comes up clutch with the best buzz of the match on the next starter, getting David Copperfield from the words [which eponymous Dickens character has to wear...].

A brilliant buzz from Wigg keeps St Andrews right in it, and a very quick hat-trick on the bonuses ties the game at 125! The next starter rambles on for a while but it is Wrathall who holds his nerve to buzz in correctly. They dawdle a bit on the bonuses, and Paxman hurries them along very sternly to stop the babbling. They don’t manage to get any of them and Fennell ties the game again by identifying George III as being on the throne at the start of Wuthering Heights. 

They scrape a solitary bonus, and start panicking on the last question, but the gong sounds, and confirms their victory.

Final Score: Emmanuel, Cam 135 - 140 St Andrews

What a finish from St Andrews! They looked nowhere with five minutes left, and even they don’t look like they quite believe it, as their faces of wonder throughout the credits can attest. For Emma and their mascots, 135 might be enough to come back as a high scoring loser, and if that is the case they won’t be too annoyed - Alex Guttenplan won the whole thing for Emma in 2010 by going through the play-off round...

[newstfionline]

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

$2.1 trillion (SIPRI) Global military spending has reached an all-time high, surpassing $2 trillion in 2021 and increasing for the seventh consecutive year, according to the latest report from defense think tank Stockholm International Peace Research Institute (SIPRI). The U.S., China, India, the UK and Russia are the top five spenders, accounting for 62% of the global expenditure. US military spending amounted to $801 billion, or 38% of the total. Russia’s military expenditures in 2021 were $65.9 billion.

Wildfires Burn More Than 150,000 Acres in Three States (NYT) McKenna Thompson, 30, was not too worried when she learned last week that she was among thousands of people across Arizona, Nebraska and New Mexico who would be forced to leave as wildfires approached. She had been driving back home to Flagstaff, Ariz., when she heard about the evacuation order. As smoke swirled around her car and the skies darkened, she soon felt as if she were “looking at hell,” she said on Sunday. She picked up her 2-year-old son and her mother and drove to a cafe to wait out the fire. A few hours later, she learned that her home had burned down. Ms. Thompson was caught up in the Tunnel Fire, which officials estimate has damaged or destroyed 30 homes. Displaced families have been left with rubble, ashes and a harrowing reminder of what they’ve lost. “Everything is gone,” Ms. Thompson said. The Tunnel Fire was one of many wildfires this past week that have collectively scorched more than 150,000 acres and forced the evacuations of at least 4,000 homes, officials said. The fires, which have been blamed for at least one death, are part of an early and active season across the country, as wildfires have also plagued California, Colorado and Texas. Corey Mead, a National Weather Service forecaster, said that Nebraska had seen “above normal” activity during its current fire season. The governor of New Mexico, Michelle Lujan Grisham, said that the fires had come well before the beginning of the state’s wildfire season. “It’s going to be a tough summer,” she said.

El Salvador extends state of emergency (AP) El Salvador’s congress voted Sunday to grant a request by President Nayib Bukele to extend an anti-gang emergency decree for another 30 days. Bukele has used emergency powers to round up about 16,000 suspected gang members following a spate of killings in March. Rights groups have criticized the measures, saying arrests are often arbitrary, based on a person’s appearance or where they live. The original 30-day state of emergency approved in late March restricts the right to gather, to be informed of rights and have access to a lawyer. It extends to 15 days the time that someone can be held without charges. It came after a spate of homicides in late March, when gangs were blamed for 62 killings in a single weekend, a level of violence the country of 6.5 million people has not seen in years.

Digital Services Act Passed (1440) European Union officials passed sweeping new legislation over the weekend that would require the world’s biggest tech companies to regulate their platforms or potentially risk facing billions in fines. Among other provisions, the Digital Services Act will require companies like Meta (Facebook), Twitter, Google, and others to more aggressively remove harmful content, increase transparency around their algorithms, and limit the spread of potential misinformation. The bill, which targets platforms with more than 45 million monthly active users, would also prevent companies from delivering targeted ads to users based on gender, race, and religion.

Loss is victory for far-right in France’s election (AP) The far-right has gone mainstream in France. That’s the headline from the landmark showing by Marine Le Pen in the French presidential election. The fierce nationalist didn’t win Sunday. But she edged another step closer—snatching a victory of sorts from her defeat to reelected President Emmanuel Macron. With 41.5% of the vote, unprecedented for her, Le Pen’s anti-foreigner, anti-system politics of disgruntlement are now more entrenched than ever in the psyche, thinking and political landscape of France. Since the Le Pen dynasty—first her dad, Jean-Marie, and now Marine, his daughter—first started contesting presidential elections in 1974, never have so many French voters bought into their doctrine.

Greeks celebrate Easter without restrictions (AP) For the first time in three years, Greeks were able to celebrate Orthodox Easter without the restrictions made necessary by the coronavirus pandemic. Beyond the obvious religious messages, in Greece, Easter signifies a return to the countryside, often to people’s ancestral homes, and a mass exodus from big cities. Police and port authorities say that this year’s exodus was significantly higher than that of pre-pandemic 2019. Sunday involves the usual slow roasting of a lamb, sometimes venison, on the spit and the cracking of Easter eggs, traditionally painted red. Easter Monday is also a full holiday, with authorities hoping that people will have recovered enough from Sunday’s carousing to drive safely back home.

Blinken and Austin Visit Kyiv (Foreign Policy) U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken and Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin made a swift trip to the Ukrainian capital Kyiv on Sunday to meet with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in a show of support for the embattled leader. As Zelensky had requested when he announced the visit on Saturday, Blinken and Austin came bearing gifts: $322 million in new military financing and $165 million in new ammunition. Those announcements bring total U.S. military assistance to Ukraine to $3.7 billion since the war began. U.S. President Joe Biden is expected to request even more Ukraine funding from the U.S. Congress in the coming days, after he warned last week that the initial allocation is already running low. Blinken and Austin did not just promise weapons, however. The U.S. diplomatic presence in Ukraine will also be upgraded, with diplomats set to inch back into the country from Poland to the western Ukrainian city of Lviv.

Moldova worries (CNBC/Washington Post/NBC) Moldova is Eastern Europe’s smallest country, with less than 3 million residents and a landmass slightly larger than the state of Maryland. But in just eight weeks, it has been overwhelmed by hundreds of thousands of civilians fleeing Ukraine. "We are the most fragile neighbor of Ukraine because we are the country that is most affected and we are the country that has the fewest resources to deal with the situation and the fallout from the war," Moldovan Minister of Foreign Affairs Nicu Popescu said. Moldova is bordered by Romania to the west and by Ukraine to the north and east. The country relaxed entry and visa requirements for Ukrainian nationals, and is currently working to provide long-term access to health care and education for the more than 400,000 people who have crossed over the border to escape the war. "This is much faster, much bigger than anything that has been seen," Popescu said. The refugee crisis threatens Moldova’s stability and economic development. And on Sunday, Igor Zhovkva, deputy head of the office of Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, told NBC’s “Meet the Press” that the possibility of Russian troops moving into Moldova is high.

With Us or With Them? In a New Cold War, How About Neither. (NYT) As the bonds of traditional alliances fray across the globe, the Royal Thai Army, the United States’ oldest treaty partner in Asia, has cast a wide net. This year, with the world reeling from Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, Thai soldiers hosted American troops for Cobra Gold, annual military exercises that are one of the largest shows of force in the Asia Pacific. A few months before, they participated in Shared Destiny, peacekeeping drills run by the People’s Liberation Army of China. And in 2020, the Thais hedged their bets further, signing an agreement for their cadets to receive training at a defense academy in Moscow. The geopolitical landscape following the Ukraine invasion has often been likened to that of a new Cold War. While the main antagonists may be the same—the United States, Russia and, increasingly, China—the roles played by much of the rest of the world have changed, reshaping a global order that held for more than three-quarters of a century. Governments representing more than half of humanity have refused to take a side, avoiding the binary accounting of us-versus-them that characterized most of the post-World War II era. Once proxy battlegrounds for superpowers, swaths of Africa, Asia and Latin America are staking their independence. The return of a bloc of nonaligned nations harks back to a period in which leaders of the post-colonial movement resisted having their destinies shaped by imperialism. It also points to the confidence of smaller countries, no longer dependent on a single ideological or economic patron, to go their own way. “Without a doubt, the countries of Southeast Asia don’t want to be pulled into a new Cold War or be forced to take sides in any great power competition,” said Zachary Abuza, a security specialist at the National War College in Washington. “As they say in Southeast Asia, when the elephants fight, the grass gets trampled.”

Beijing districts placed under lockdown as COVID cases mount (AP) China’s capital Beijing began testing millions of residents and shutting down residential and business districts Monday amid a new outbreak of COVID-19. While only 70 cases have been found so far in the city of more than 21 million since the outbreak surfaced Friday, authorities have implemented extreme measures to prevent a further spread of the virus. Residents were staying home and stocking up on food as a safeguard against the possibility that they could be confined indoors, as has happened in multiple cities including the financial hub of Shanghai. Long lines formed in supermarkets in central Beijing. Shoppers snapped up rice, noodles, vegetables and other food items, while store workers hastily restocked some empty shelves.

Israel shells Lebanon after rocket attack in western Galilee (Washington Post) A rocket fired from Lebanon landed near a kibbutz in Israel early Monday, prompting return shelling by the Israeli military. The cross-border strikes marked the first such exchange in months and raised fears that recent unrest in Jerusalem and the Gaza Strip could spread to Israel’s northern border. Israeli artillery units fired some 50 shells toward the identified launch site, near Tyre, an army official said. Military officials told Israeli media they suspected Palestinian militants were more likely to be responsible than Hezbollah, the Iranian-aligned group that, along with its allies, holds the majority of seats in Lebanon’s parliament. The head of a United Nations force responsible for monitoring the Lebanese border called for restraint from both sides.

Demolishing City of the Dead Will Displace a Lively Quarter of Cairo (NYT) Since the Arabs conquered Cairo in the seventh century, Cairenes have been burying their dead beneath the Mokattam cliffs that rise over the city’s historic core, interring politicians, poets, heroes and royalty in marble-clad tombs set amid verdant walled gardens. By the mid-20th century, the City of the Dead had also come to house the living: tomb caretakers, morticians, gravediggers and their families, along with tens of thousands of poor Cairenes who found shelter in and among the grand mausoleums. Much of it will soon be gone. The Egyptian government is razing large swaths of the historic cemetery, clearing the way for a flyover bridge that will link central Cairo to the New Administrative Capital, Egypt’s grandiose new seat of government, which President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi is raising in the desert about 28 miles east of Cairo. The destruction and construction are part of his campaign to modernize Egypt. But its costs are rarely mentioned. “You’re seeing Cairo’s family tree. The gravestones say who was married to whom, what they did, how they died,” said Mostafa el-Sadek, an amateur historian who has documented the cemetery. “You’re going to destroy history, you’re going to destroy art.” “And for what?” said Seif Zulficar, whose great-aunt, Queen Farida, the first wife of King Farouk of Egypt, was buried here in one of the mausoleums scheduled for destruction. “You’re going to have a bridge?” What will disappear is not only a historical monument where Egyptians still visit their ancestors and bury the newly deceased, but also a lively neighborhood.

2 suspects sought as 100 die in Nigeria oil refinery blast (AP) At least 100 people may have died in an explosion at an illegal oil refinery in southeast Nigeria, a local oil official said Sunday as the search intensified for bodies at the site and for two people suspected of being involved in the blast. Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari, in a statement, called the explosion a “catastrophe and a national disaster.” The explosion Friday night at the facility in Ohaji-Egbema local government area in Imo state was triggered by a fire at two fuel storage areas where more than 100 people worked, state officials told The Associated Press. Dozens of workers were caught up in the explosion while many others attempted to escape the blaze by running into wooded areas.

[fireintheforest]

Behind the Blue: chapter 1

It was just another average night in The Gray Mare inn in Chorrol, packed to the brim with customers. Now and then footsteps of patrons and employees walked across the wooden floor, sounds of septims clinked against wooden tables to pay for a room, ale or a warm meal, and the ever present noise of conversation, laughter and mumbling in different languages and dialects hung in the air. There were perhaps 2 empty tables in the whole establishment, so amongst all the Imperials, Bosmer, Nords, Argonians, Khajiit and the Orsimer group, it was understandable that at first glance nobody saw the Dunmer and the hooded figure that were sitting at a corner of the inn. Then again, this was also justified by the low wall that covered this table somewhat from the prying eyes of others. The Dunmer seemed to have been here for a longer time, since the level of his drink was low and the hooded figure was only now taking a seat. The Dunmer waited for the figure to have sat down before he spoke.

“So I’m guessing there’s a reason for the messenger in the middle of the night, corner table of the inn and the hood.” Toivon began.

“You guessed right.” The female voice coming from the hood said in an uncertain, low voice, “Is…is everything alright?”

“…yes, why are you asking?”

“Well, you look…you look concerned. Angry.”

“Madame, this is just my face.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it swiftly, “Oh. I beg your pardon. Well! Let’s get on to business.” She straightened up, blinking and feigning that the embarrassing moment hadn’t happened, “This…is a matter that I’d prefer be handled with the utmost discretion.”

“Not a word will be spoken out of here to anyone else.”

“Not just out of here. The whole affaire must be done with extreme care. You can’t be caught or suspected on. Your identity and mine cannot ever go to the public. My name and my family’s has to stay away from the scandal that will come.”

“Sounds serious. No one will know. Now tell me, what do I have to do?”

The hooded figure pushed her hood slightly back as she leaned forward in her seat, only enough for Toivon to see her face better. She had crow’s feet, some fine facial lines, bags under her gray eyes and some gray strands mixed among the rest of her black hair. She had a single beauty mark in the top right part of her forehead.

“My family,” she began, “the Ferchants, have been members of nobility since Evermor’s beginnings. We have contributed greatly to the city’s economy, our ancestors have been members of its history and served our community. Then, Emmanuel Hawkcroft came to my life when I was around the 15 years of age. My father helped him greatly get the title, lands, riches and honor he has now in exchange of errands and missions to do for him, as is usual, in High Rock, when it comes to people of his….economic position. His whole life is indebted to my father, who took him in as a son, who grew up with us as another brother. We thought he saw us as family as well, so naturally, when my family was in trouble, we turned to him for a favor that could’ve not just helped us but also kept face. Just until we could be stable. He refused, and because of him we lost everything.”

“Ouch.” Maybe it was the expected answer, or maybe it was Toivon’s deadpan expression, but the woman didn’t catch the sympathetic sarcasm.

“Hawkcroft amassed his fortune via piracy, scams and investments in transport, and yet after all we’ve gone through, there’s not a look, not an apology, nothing. We only got back to barely what we were thanks to my husband’s family and my brother’s wife’s.”

Toivon leaned forward, resting his arms on the table, “Mhm” Just his luck to get a Breton, these people talked sermons before getting to the point. The only ones worse than them were the Altmer.

“His fortune is simply ridiculous, he became richer than my father was, he’s part of the Evermor elite. I just thought…after having shared with him as a brother, as a friend, I thought he’d think of us in the end. That he’d remember us and mend everything right. But he didn’t.” she shook her head, as if still in disbelief, and sighed as she leaned back on her seat, “He didn’t.”

“Ma’am, not meaning to say this isn’t interesting, but get to the point.”

“When I investigated, I heard nothing but good word about you. They say you are one of the stealthiest in the business, but you stand out specifically for discretion. I need both skills from you. I will pay 7000 Septims for you to steal La Zadine and bring it to me, and 2000 to your team members.”

Toivon blinked, “How much?”

“Seven thousand Septim to you, two thousand to your associates.”

“Huh, I heard right. What exactly is La Sadine?”

“La Zadine, sir, La Zadine!” Toivon didn’t move a single muscle of his face, “It’s a famous sapphire in Evermor, it belongs to Hawkcroft. He came across it in one of his voyages, during a trip my father sent him to, and was one of the jewels he presented my cousin, Edwynne, as a gift to ask her for her hand in marriage. It’s just the most coveted sapphire in the region.”

“So, let me summarize. You are willing to pay me 7000 Septims, just so I can steal a rock. A sapphire, to be exact. Lady, this is a lot of effort for one rock. Not saying I’m rejecting the contract, but…If you want to hit this bastard where it hurts, wouldn’t it make sense to steal all his money? Leave him in poverty? Begging at the main street in nothing but the clothes he has on?”

The woman gave a small yet cruel chuckle through tight lips, “I’d love to see that, but even if we wipe his bank account clean he’d still have his business and lands to give to his children, both most likely on his will, now that he knows he’ll die soon. I know Hawkcroft, despite appearances he’s as sentimental as a weeping bride and he placed a lot of emotional value on that specific sapphire. Especially since my dear cousin passed.” She leaned forward, “He can get into business. He can call his rich friends, he can do investments, but he’ll be devastated to find that rock missing.”

“Cold.” Toivon said, then nodded, “Alright, I can do the job. I’ll just need to know where I can find Hawkcroft’s estate.”

“The manor is located in the outskirts of Evermor. Hawkcroft is planning a grand dinner in honor of his daughter, Avelle, and her name day. He will be too focused on the guests and the preparations to pay mind to La Zadine in his room. You can take this night as an opportunity, having the party as a distraction.”

“Wait, how do you know the rock is in his room?”

“Three years back I sent my most trusted maid, Sorcise, to work at his estate so she could report back to me his moves until we could find something that were of his weakness. She told me there’s a chest underneath his bed that he guards jealously. Chances are, La Zadine is kept there. He’s never trusted banks to guard his things to begin with.”

“If it’s as easy as breaking into his room, why has your maid not done it yet? She can walk around the house, no?”

“The chest needs a key, one that Emmanuel has with him at all times. Sorcise is discreet, but she’s not an experienced thief. And despite her claims, she’s got nervous fingers. Emmanuel would feel her trying to grab the key a mile away with how her hands shake. This is something an expert needs to do.”

Toivon nodded, contemplating the information that had just been given to him in silence. To fill the void of conversation, a table to their right burst in a roar of laughter that settled down enough for Toivon to say, “Breaking into a house in the middle of a party. That’d also involve higher security, but I’m guessing that with your maid’s help I may be able to bypass it.”

“Precisely.”

Toivon bit the inside of his cheek as he looked away, then looked back at her and said, “I’ll be risking a lot in here. My hide, my men’s, your maid’s, your name and three years of careful planning. I’d raise the price for my associates to, say, 5000 Septims.”

“Per person?” Madame Ferchant’s eyes widened, “I can pay 2500 each.”

“Still low. I can leave it in 4000 if you’ve got a tight purse. If you want me to steal La Zadine in a party, it won’t be that many men. I’m not going to scam you. It’ll be me, your girl and two more and that’s it. It’s already cost you three years without Sorcise, careful planning and keeping appearances up. Besides, how much does the gem by itself cost?”

Madame Ferchant sighed, her lips tightening a bit. “Fine. I can pay 4000 Septims, but only for two of your men. Not more, not less.”

“Rest assured, you’ll get your jewel. Quietly.” Madame Ferchant nodded and pulled her hood back to cover her face.

“Your pay will arrive to you once the jewel is in my hand.We will meet in Evermor the night before the party, in around a month.”

“…the party is in a month?”

“Of course! You need proper time to prepare a proper party. Otherwise it’s just a gathering. And Avelle is known for going over the top.”

“Fine, right.”

“I’ll see you in a month, monsieur.” And with that, she rose from her seat, walked around the table, and left. Toivon leaned back on his seat, mulling over the details of the operation as he drank. The tavern was still noisy, still merry with laughter and arguments and discussions and plates banging, cups clinking, mouths chewing, orders being tossed, the fire cackling and warming whoever was closest.