#its revenge for the red mess he made with the mixer

[hisredhysteria]

ahhdjhghjkl I was going to request headcanons for the all the akudama, but I completely forgot what I wanted lmaoo. So may I request (based off your most recent work) just more headcanons or a story of Cutthroat trying to cook. (also somewhat related: do you think Cutthroat would be into cannibalism, he does consume blood in the show sometimes so?)

TW: Cannibalism, blood, graphic description

Note: I love that you asked this question because I too like to wonder about it... He did say that he likes his marshmallows to look all bloody like brains....and based on that I'd say, it's a possibility— Maybe I'm fitting my own self-indulgence somewhere in here because I just love the thought of Cutthroat carving out someone's heart and eating it...but, I could see him admiring the blood of his angel after killing them, looking down to their body....and then you know, the idea dawn's on him that to feel closer he should take or eat a part of their body...

He doesn't seem to mind the taste of blood either, so even if I think what I'm saying is a little self-indulgent, he likely does use blood as a sort of syrup. The way he phrases that he prefers his marshmallows to have blood on them almost implies he's done it before— I think naturally, he prefers to consume blood, but I wouldn't exactly put it passed him to also try other things.... especially after hearing he WANTS what he's eating to look like brains..

♡༄ Cutthroat in the Kitchen

The best part of cooking is catching a fresh kill.

Cutthroat sees the word cup in a recipe and ignores all else. He is pulling out a cup—any cup, the shiniest cup; pouring whatever it is that he needs into that cup, and then dumping it into a bowl.

He's now using that cup for everything.

Don't tell him that it had a specific size amount either. He will get upset and decide he's had enough cooking. Something else would likely be more fun anyways....

No, I'm only kidding...sort of..

He half-heartedly decides to look at the numbers too now, but he's only using that ONE cup he took out beforehand. And he's only doing it because you asked him to. He's also....not too sure what the numbers even mean. But he can at least read them...he thinks...what's that dash..?

He sees 2/4's a cup and decides to pour whatever he needs in the bowl twice. One pour. Then two. 2 altogether, right..?

Okay, now the 4....what does the 4 mean?

Does he care what the 4 means...? ...Well, not really, but if it means you'll have to come help him, he's definitely asking—

You're probably gonna have to worry about any size amounts from now on..

All the numbers take the joy out of cooking so he likely forgot to pay attention to anymore after the first time anyways—

He loves the shine of the utensils and gets EXTREMELY excited about spoons. He loves spoons.

Forks are a little less fun because they aren't as reflective with their shine and they're not as sharp as a knife, but it's safe to say he's going to do a lot of spoon admiring.

Maybe he even has a favorite spoon. Or a couple favorite spoons..

Cutthroat's also a ruthless spoon shamer. He does NOT spare the feelings of any wooden spoon, simply saying, "They're ugly and look dull. Why don't they shine..?"

His day is inevitably ruined anytime you hand him a wooden spoon and he may just substitute stirring by rocking the bowl, pot, or pan back and forth instead—

He oddly loves the silicone spatulas though....but maybe that's because he can choose the red ones...

He gets really excited to stir things however, especially when you bring out the mixer. Nothing excites him quite like adding red food dye to whatever he's mixing.

It's also never not fun to lift it while it's doing its job, you know....to watch the red mixture splatter across the floor and walls like spurting blood-

If it's a hand mixer, he complains his arm hurts after doing it for all of one minute— Does it really or does he just not wanna mix it anymore?

Keep him away from the steak knives...just..keep him away from the steak knives.

Cutthroat's a little impatient so he loves to watch the microwave timer tick down. He'll likely pull it out before the timer is done too, even if it's just 15 seconds. The anticipation was just so great he couldn't take it any longer—

This creates a lot of background noise as he's constantly opening and shutting the microwave to see if it's done, paired with disappointed sighing when you tell him it's not—

He loves watching things in the oven too...maybe a little too close..

Depending on what stove he's using, if the burner turns red to signal it's hot, he'll get lost admiring the color and never put the pan on top of it to cook-

Try to put a pan on it yourself and you'll be met with, "No, no..! Don't cover it!"

He's also probably burned his own hand a few times touching it-

The cruel betrayal of something so pretty and red isn't too foreign to him though...he's actually quite pleased to feel that it's hot...as hot as the feelings he gets seeing a marvelous red halo..

He finds the bubbles caused from boiling something to be fascinating

He also claps when the pot starts to over boil and spill- it's like a little show of it's own. Ah-! Why not add red food dye and see if it'll look like a spilling fountain of blood too-?

He boils everything using actual blood...

He substitutes any ingredients he doesn't like with things he does like, so his cooking always turns out....well.. tasting like some weird combination of marshmallows and whatever else he was attempting to cook...

He loves to watch marshmallows overheat and puff up in the microwave too— In fact, keep doing it. Go on, put another in the microwave. Put 2 in there. You're the one whose cleaning up the mess anyways-

He adds red syrup to just about everything, claiming it to be the most beautiful finishing touch.

..It's either blood or cherry sauce...take a gamble.

Sometimes he'll try to surprise you by cooking for you. Which means you'll either become suspicious of the ruckus that's going on in the kitchen—or, before that can happen, he'll call you over to taste test something..

He hopes you act surprised when he's done too, even if he's made you taste test something.

He'll take it that, because he's made it, it already tastes good. Even if there's an obvious grimace on your face. It's only because you're thinking of the right words to say for how wonderful it tastes, isn't it?

If you say anything positive about it, he very excitedly tells you that it's because he's added blood to whatever you're currently eating..!

"You like it too then...oh, how exciting~! Do you want more..? How much do you want ..? I'll share anything with you, my angel~ ...Huh!? You don't want anymore...!? Why not ...? Don't you like it? ....you made such a pretty face.."

He just thinks you're pretty no matter what

In conclusion, Cutthroat's fun to cook with if you don't mind the absolute chaos and or having to scrub red batter off of the now stained walls—

And also not having anything edible by the end of it all

[quiet-kunoichi]

[ @suck-my-tomato | Halloween Party Oneshot | verse; highschool ]

It was their senior year at last, and Kimiko was not about to let it go to waste. The rest of her high school years had been spent either too insecure to show a little skin, or not single enough to get away with it without some disapproving stares. The tail end of junior year, along with the summer that followed, was spent in a near-lifeless haze: she’d become well accustomed to depressive dissociation and avoidance to the point of self-destructive isolation. Meanwhile, Sasuke likely had the time of his life as a bachelor in the paradise of their recent split: that is, until his chronically-ill brother took a lethal turn for the worse.  Upon hearing about Itachi’s sudden death, Kimiko had lassoed herself back into Sasuke’s orbit  — Invited herself inside ( she never returned the key to his apartment ), ensured that he was taking care of himself in lieu of his recent loss. Additionally, it felt like a loss of her own, too. She’d known Itachi as long as she had known Sasuke, for obvious reasons. As odd as it sounded once her feelings became obviously romantic for the younger Uchiha, Itachi felt like.. a big brother in-law. After all, he bailed her out of her holding cell after she’d caught Sasuke cheating with that bimbo redhead from chemistry. It was a wonder why he kept the kind of company that he did; the run-ins she’d endured over the last few months since her split with Sasuke had soured her to the whole ‘Akatsuki’ gang. Just a bunch of sleazy womanizers.  It’d been quite a few months since that had occured, and Kimiko and Sasuke were growing steadily more attached to one another, once again. Not nearly close to the way they were, before the letters ( still unknown to Sasuke ) and his decision to plant the seed of everlasting insecurity within her by betraying her trust for the opportunity to mesh face with someone new. For a short while before Itachi’s death, Kimi had arrived to parties solely to keep the recently hotheaded Uchiha in line. She was his designated stormbreaker, and was expected to deliver him home safely each night that he took things a bit too far. Those incidents didn’t come without their rewards, such as the few instances in which he’d cling to her in his drunken and drug-addled stupor, apologize profusely and confess his everlasting love.. Just to slip away into sleep seconds afterwards.  Admittedly, Kimiko would entertain the heartache of such a prentendedly wholehearted and pure moment before ultimately lapsing to silent tears and peeling herself from his side to take her quiet leave from his shared home. More than a few times, Itachi and the Tamashi would share a quiet and lingering look across the front room. Now that he’s departed, Kimiko often wishes she would have sat next to him and allow herself a single shred of comfort from the situation she’d found herself in. His stare had always been a little somber: Like he knew all of the things that she was shoving beneath the surface. Was this going to be her lingering reality? Harboring this blood-stained secret, playing guardian angel to a haphazard boy whom broke her heart but didn’t manage to drown her love? Perhaps she should’ve asked the wise Uchiha Itachi, before it became too late. Even if she grew back what was left of her mauled heart to learn how to forgive him, Kimiko knew now that a life of romance and love was never going to be the same, for her. Not with old memories dredged back up and spot-lit like fresh wounds, vague yet promising threats from her imprisoned and somehow still imposing father appearing two more times since that first letter made it to her porch step. Sasuke had changed faces and become someone new overnight; he squandered all of his previous promises of her being his one and only  — and it elicited a violent response that her father had only just forewarned her of inheriting. Perhaps this was just her destiny, after all.  Tonight would be different, in a sense: Kimiko was attending this senior year halloween party solely for herself. She wasn’t trailing in on Sasuke’s colonged scent, nor was she couped up at home until the siren call came and beckoned her to act as ‘Sasuke Uchiha clean-up crew’. She was here to cook up some fun of her own, solely for herself.. Which is precisely what she had told herself at the last party she attended three weeks ago for ‘Homecoming.’ That night tumbled away into a mess of limbs beneath trashed bedsheets: Sasuke and Kimiko had once again found the most intimate form of comfort in one another’s arms, for the first time in.. 8 months. Tonight would be different. Or maybe it wouldn’t. Did she actually just put all of this effort into her costume for the hopes that it would catch his attention above any other girl there? Was she hoping for a similar end to this mixed-bag night as the last party lured them to?  Perhaps. It was mostly for herself, though. Yes, the tight black latex zippered corset, a pair of short spandex that clung to her hips and ass like it was life or death, the heeled boots that cut off just below her knee and the tights that squeezed her curved thighs just at their most voluptuous circumference.. The feathered black wings attached to her back and the headband horns adorning her crown .. All the way down to her perfected makeup, the dark tinge to her lips and the dash of gloss at the very center.. It was all for her. Not to grab the attention of anyone who bothered looking her way, and certainly not to make his jaw drop. Once again, her phone buzzes from its place stashed between her breasts. With a sigh that exhales the last puff of her menthol cigarette, ( thank you, Shikamaru ) Kimi plucks the it from her corset and unlocks the device. A strange twist of disappointment curls her stomach when the texts popping up were just from the girls. Perhaps it was a tad childish to wish upon a ball of gas in the sky that Sasuke would reach out to her: provide some sort of hint that he was interested in seeing her tonight — that he wasn’t already wrapped up in some other nameless skank.  Instead, it was just Ino and Sakura, buzzing at her ear like flies and wanting to know ‘ Where the hell ’ she was. They made plans to pick her up, but Kimi had different plans for herself. Already outside the party house, the fallen angel runs out the cherry of her pregame cigarette against the side of a white Prius. It belonged to one specific redhead from junior year chemistry class. If she knew what was good for her, that bitch would keep a healthy distance from the Uchiha, and a restraining-order distance from the Tamashi herself. The rest of her flask is guzzled with little more than a post-swallow wince: the fire of honey whiskey lit her back to life. She’d shared swigs with the passenger seat of Ms. White Prius — poor decision to leave the windows open a crack. Now that her confidence was rightly bolstered by liquid courage and her anxious insecurities settled with those two cigarettes, Kimiko pulls herself off the car. She throws a single backward kick of her heel and dents the door, donning a wicked smirk as she heads up the walkway and pushes inside. The damn wings of a fallen angel knock against the doorway — but they’ll provide a healthy bubble of distance from everyone else around her as the crowd parts around her. If she learned anything from the parties she’d attended in the last year — it was to make a b-line from the front ( or back ) door straight to the booze selection.

 Although she was already feeling that hot buzz of spirits in her blood, Kimiko needed to secure a drink to clutch for the rest of the night. Any time something stupid was said, any time something unforgivable was done, she would take a drink. And if Sasuke was seen with another girl, after what happened between them at the Homecoming party three weeks ago, and how often she’s been at his apartment and patiently helping him sort through his emotions, after everything that happened between them.. Well, she’d guzzle the whole cup and then someone else’s, too. Maybe crack a skull, pluck a tooth off of the floor for keepsake..  Ino and Sakura have flocked to her side, bubbling with astonished compliments as well as soured remarks on the Tamashi’s disappearance. The familiar crimson of slow boiling rage starts to fade away from the corners of her vision. She’s standing at the kitchen counter, red plastic cup empty and surveying the options. “ Holy wow, Kimi! You look gorgeous. ” Sakura, the little angel of their trio, chimes in at her left. On her right shoulder, Ino the devil shares her opinion. “ Gorgeous? Fuck that. Kimiko looks drop dead sexy. This is definitely an ex-revenge costume. ” Silent as ever ( at least, as she’d become over the last year ) the fallen angel reaches for the rum, rolling her thumb over the cap and flicking it across the marble counter.  It glugs liquid fire into her empty cup while Sakura wraps around her arm and tucks her head against Kimi’s shoulder ( a good sign that she was inebriated, herself ). “ Ex-revenge costume? How’s she supposed to get revenge from an outfit? ” The naive pinkette asks. Ino scoffs, “ Are you kidding me? Do you know how many guys have cracked their necks just to gawk at her? I counted six, just on her trip from the front door to the kitchen. ” Kimiko adds a splash of tequila into the mix, as well as the rest of someone’s open redbull can. Then comes the mixer: some sort of grapefruit soda, and a lime. Like, a whole half. She likes the bite.  “ And other guys looking at her is supposed to be.. revengeful? ” Sakura questions after slipping from Kimiko’s arm, their polar opposite wings knocking against one another in her clumsy step to shoot a questioning look to their blonde-haired and red-clad she-devil. A hand comes up to Ino’s forehead as she sighs. “ Oh my god, I knew you had too much of my Prosecco. ” Sakura makes to protest, and Kimiko ( who has yet to acknowledge them or make an expression of either distaste or amusement ) takes a tasting swig of her drink. It wasn’t bad, but maybe it needs more grapefruit soda. “ The more attention she gets from other guys, the more jealous Sasuke is gonna get. She gives him a taste of what he’s missing out on. ” Ino explains.  Sakura pretends to understand, but she’s never been the type for manipulative revenge schemes. Her payback is served with a crack of her knuckles. Meanwhile, Kimiko uses a healthy balance of the two methods of torture. Even still, as both girls bicker over whether it was a good idea to lure that side out of Sasuke ( especially in lieu of his recent loss ) or to move on like he didn’t exist, Kimiko scanned the crowd for his unforgettable features. They had no idea of what happened between the two at that last party; they didn’t know about his once thorny exterior quickly becoming dependent on her emotional support through this difficult time, nor how she honestly felt concerned and protective over him despite still trying to figure out how to forgive him ( or if she even had the kindness left in her to accomplish such a feat ). At last, they’d found each other through the writhing mass of bodies mingling, dancing, flirting, and drinking in a kaleidoscope of lights. Yellow high-beams meet swimming pools of obsidian over the rim of her cup. The whole world deafens and stills around them: despite the five yards of distance that separated the two, Kimiko swore she could hear his shaky exhale as he drinks in her visage — wonders briefly if he could somehow hear the tripping thrum of her heartbeat as her stare flickers over his own devilishly desirable costume. Pulling her lips from her drink, the fallen vixen swipes bubblegum tongue quickly over her lip and offers a little wink across the room ( unseen from her female counterparts ). Let’s hope this doesn’t backfire.

[jimclassicstoycollection]

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Legends class

Devastator (Constructicons)

(possible knock off)

I don’t exactly remember when I got this figure (some time in the Summer of 2019) But I forgot to prepare a draft for this toy, so I’m kind of wedging it here. I don’t think I’m too far off in my purchase timeline...

In the grand scheme of the universe this matters not, and quite frankly this is the least of my problems...

I got this guy in on Ebay, for $20 or less. I’m not a huge fan of the Bayformers, and back in 2009 I never invested got on board with the ultimate Devastator set, and at the time I wasn’t interested on much small legends class version. I thought (and still think) as Devastator character this thing is a stupid looking and poor representation of the character, however as a crazy looking abomination I thought it was interesting. So over time I softened on my take of this character.

I still don’t want the Ultimate version, and I’m not about to buy all the Studio Series Constructicons, so I decided to settle on the 2009 Legends version.

I don’t know if this is a knock off or not, but I bought this off of a Chinese Ebay seller, and it took like a month to arrive.

What you see in the picture is how it arrived. It didn’t even come packaged in the box except for the plastic insert and the instructions.

So let’s take a look at this team starting with the individual Constructicons.

I will do my best to keep this brief.

Constructicons-

Scrapper:

Scrapper is the yellow front loader. He’s the leader of the group, transformed from his form to a giant right scoop!

...Okay, moving on...

Scrapper’s probably the most normal of the this team; he stands tall, and lanky with claw hands and his head is kind of tucked within his chest giving him a hunched look. Scrapper’s feet are the loader’s shovel, and I found him difficult to stand.

He’s got ball jointed legs and shoulders, so that’s great!

Longhaul:

Longhaul’s looks like a bruiser; he’s built like a thug. His articulation is only his elbows and hips, but he is green; the only Constructicon who is in his proper colors for that matter.

Mixmaster:

So this is when the drugs start to kick in...Keep in mind this is Bayformers, and this version of Mixmaster...is definitely keeping in the Bayformers aesthetic.

He’s a gangly, incoherent mess. Miraculously enough he does convert in a pretty decent cement mixer.

Hightower:

Hightower is a crane who transforms into a...scorpion? Sure, whatever; it stands well, and to its credit it’s an interesting robot mode...

Rampage:

Rampage is the bulldozer. I don’t really know what else to say about this one; he’s neither normal like Scrapper and Longhaul, nor is he abstract and strange enought like Mixmaster or Hightower.

He stands well though...

Scavenger:

Scavenger is the large excavator. His is a pretty bizarre robot mode with the wheels both below and above the head, and the large half scoops for arms.

This toy is both floppy AND doesn’t stand well at all (with or without using the arms for balancing) and it’s very annoying. It’s a miracle he holds well as part of Devastator’s body.

Overload:

Overload is the seventh member of the Constructicons, and exclusive to this team, since he doesn’t exist in any other Constructicon team.

He’s a red dump truck? I’m not really sure, but it looks like he’s got a worse job than Longhaul’s.

The robot mode has a dwarven-like stature with the shorter arm, and longer arms, and scorpion tail.

This toy’s a little loose too; the ball joint for the arm doesn’t stay pegged in well, and frequently pops out.

Devastator:

This thing is absolutely insane. Holding the toy in my hand and looking at it from all angles helps get me a better idea of what the CGI model was going for. Bayformers designs tend to overwhelm my eyes a lot; up to the point where I just have no idea what I’m looking at, nor can I differentiate any real details out of them.

So after looking this guy over and understanding a bit more how he’s held together, and the stands I concluded that Bayformers Devastator is pretty much a hunched over scrap-pile hob goblin.

The plastic feels really good on this toy, like this is a knock off, it was made with good plastic.

However though the plastic feel pretty good, Devastator as a whole does not pass the shake test; he can stand well, but try moving him around and a limb or two could just fall off. oh well.

Final Thoughts:

I don’t remember how much I paid for this, but for what this figure is, it was worth it. For a small, Bayformers monstrosity this is a fun toy.

He’s pretty much only good for sanding there, but if you don’t want or don’t have the space for the upcoming GIANT Studio Series version, this little guy should do fine.

...Why did I put so much effort in a legends scale knock off toy?