#its only fair that i too have divine intervention to save me from myself

[lambiesvault]

Gods pls plS PLS let me have a time travel fix it all happen to me bc what do I do with all this hindsight otherwise

[adventuresinwonderlust]

Title: “Sunsets and Slip ups”

Pairing: dom! Yoongi x sub! brat! Reader ft. Namjoon ft. Jimin

Warnings: angst, cheating, degradation, abusive parent (trigger warning!!), smut, cream pie, spit play, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up folks), If I missed anything, I am sorry!!!

*Author’s Note: I wrote this part very differently, introducing you into the mind of the ‘Min Boy’ character. It’s much longer than my other fics (8300)!! Honestly, the story came together so well that I just kept going. I hope you all enjoy!!*

Rating: 18 and over

Y/N:

Your phone pings beside you causing you to stir in your bed. You roll over reluctantly, not sure if you want to start the day even though you're not really sleeping. A second ping causes you to make your decision, awake it is. ‘I have to go to away this weekend. I’ll be back late Sunday.’ The first message reads. ‘Sorry to spring this on you but I wasn’t expecting it either. Be good brat. Xo. Min.’ You jump up from under the covers and reread the text over and over. You type a response and delete it, then type another and delete that as well. “Fuck it.” You throw off the covers and pace your bedroom, opting to call. The phone rings for what feels like forever. “Hello.” He answers. “You can't go away this weekend!” “Can I call you back please?” He’s annoyed and you don’t care. “No, we can talk now or not at all, ever!” You shout. There is silence on the line, but the call hasn’t dropped. He’s probably muted you. You stop pacing and try listening more intently to no avail. “Hello!” You yell. “Your lack of patience is unsettling.” He comes back on the line. “I don’t care, you don’t just get to spring leaving on me at the last minute after I invited you to my father's birthday party. You promised you would come; said you would meet him. If you flake out on me now, I’ll never talk to you again.” “It’s my mother y/n. She’s asked to see me. I’m sorry but I have to go.” Your eyes widen and you immediately feel stupid. “Is everything alright?” “I honestly don’t know. I won't know until I get there. Look, I am sorry about missing your father’s party. I can make it up to you and to him.” “No, it's ok. Go and do your thing. Maybe one day, I’ll be meeting your mom you know? Who knows right?” Your chuckle meets with silence. “She’s much better company than my father that’s for sure. I gotta go but I'll see you as soon as I get back. Be good for me brat.” “Yoongi,” You begin but he's already hung up.

Min:

Yoongi broods over his packed bag, knowing he shouldn’t really care what y/n thinks but at the same time feeling terrible about letting her down. He did want to spend the weekend with her and meet her father. It was the right thing to do. It was the first time in a long time that he’s ever felt close to someone. He shook his head to tousle his still drying hair, zipping his bag. “Son,” He turns to face his father, “I hear you're going to see your mother.” Yoongi doesn’t answer. His father enters his room and slowly paces, looking over everything with either a shrug or grunt of disapproval. Don’t get angry, that’s what he wants. Yoongi grinds his teeth, repeating this mantra over and over. “Did you need something?” His father stands before him, arms behind his back. “I don’t need many things Yoongi, I have assured myself a comfortable life. The one thing I truly need as a father is the cooperation of his only son. I haven't always been the best father, that I can admit, but I like to think I am fair. Your mother, on the other hand, has always coddled you, made you weak, emotional. It kills me to see you so dependent on her approval, her love, especially when you know who she truly is deep to her core.” He turns to face the window. “Lee An has brought me many new possibilities. A new life, sense of purpose, and love that your mother never could but best of all she has brought me a second chance. A second son. Now having said that, your new brother will be joining us here soon and I expect you to show him around the city, make him comfortable. Booze, clubs, women and spare no expense.” He turns to Yoongi, gripping his shoulder hard, “Am I understood?” “Yes.” Yoongi growls. His father moves his hand up, wrapping it around Yoongi's pale neck and squeezes. “Yes, what?” “Yes, sir.” His father nods in approval. “I can see that fire in your eyes. Your Min blood dying to be freed. It gives me hope son, but before you say something witty or disrespectful, think of your mother and how she wouldn’t enjoy seeing you with bruises on your face.” Yoongi swallows down the angry lump in his throat as his father releases his grip and places a kiss on his forehead. “Have a safe flight son and send your mother my regards.”

Y/N:

“Please Joon, please! Give me something, I know you know more than you’re saying. You yourself have said he’s your best friend.” You sit across from Namjoon in his living room, having mustered up the energy to leave the house once the party planners arrived. “I really can't tell you anything Y/N, I'm sorry. You'll just have to ask him yourself. To be honest, I'm surprised he told you he was going to see her in the first place. He's incredibly private, even I have to drag things out of him at times.” You groan aloud which does nothing more than cause Namjoon to grimace. “Well, he is going to miss Daddy’s birthday so that’s a strike against him.” Namjoon laughs before getting up and walking to his kitchen for a glass of water. He takes a long sip and points over at you. “You're falling for him, aren't you?” Your eyes pop open and you chuckle nervously. “Not at all. I don’t FALL for anyone. He��s just interesting that’s all and you know I love a good challenge.” “Nope. I am not buying it. You haven't been this annoying since....” “DON’T even say his name aloud!” You shout. Namjoon gives you a large sly grin before taking a seat with you again. “Is he coming to you father's birthday bash?” “Absolutely not. I haven't seen or heard from him in over a year and to be honest I would very much like to keep it that way.” “I agree Y/N, I would have it no other way. Besides, Yoongi isn't the type to share his toys.” You scoff at the remark. “What exactly does that mean? No one owns me Namjoon. Wait, does he talk about us? What has he told you?” “Uh, Uh, Uh. How do they say it? Ah yes! Bro code. All I will say is keep your nose clean.” You roll your eyes at his comment. “Fuck you Joon and your bro code.” “See you tomorrow night Y/N.” He calls out to you as you let yourself out.

MIN:

Yoongi stares at the fresh bags that have formed under his eyes. His flight arrived late last night and since sleep seemed to evade him, he had opted to forgo it all together. He instead paced his hotel room, stalking Y/N’s Instagram page until the sun shone through the curtains. He should’ve been brave, sent a text or even called to tell her he missed her and wished she was lying in bed with him. He never did, the twisted voice of his father taking over to frown on such behavior, telling him to be a man, let her come to him. It was the never-ending battle of his mind. Do I give in to the darkness and be everything my father wishes me to be or can I hold onto the light my mother gave me and choose a different path? My own path? One where the two sides co-exist and I can just be me. Yoongi’s mind mulled these thoughts over in his frigid shower, his head down, allowing the water to cascade over his pulsing skull. He dressed quickly in dark jeans and a white button down, slamming a red bull in the cab on his way to his destination. Upon arrival, he looked over the unkempt lawn with a sigh. It was only 7am so he let himself into her home using the spare key she still had hidden under a fake frog on the front steps. He knew that her aide would not yet be there so they would have time alone. He couldn’t wait to see her, he had to know what was so urgent. It had been so long since they’ve seen each other, he needed answers. Yet, in this moment, even with all the anticipation and excitement that had borne itself in his chest, he didn’t have the courage to approach her, so he just stood in the doorframe leading to the backyard and watched as she danced carefreely in the sun.

Y/N:

You wake in a hurry and take off from your room to your fathers, only the sounds of your fluffy slippers shuffling against the hardwood can be heard. You burst through the door and jump on your fathers’ bed, scaring him awake. “Happy birthday Daddy!” You shout as he rubs at his eyes. You stand up and start hopping up and down singing happy birthday. He laughs aloud, “Get down Y/N. You’re going to break my bed.” You hop down onto your knees and hand your father a card and red giftbox. “Open it! Open it!” He rips open the card and reads it to himself with a smile before opening the box. His eyes light up at the sight of a golden Rolex. “Y/N, its too much!” “I saved my stipends and got it for you. I knew you wanted it. I hope you love it Daddy. You must wear it tonight at the party. There will be so many beautiful women there and they have to see how stylish you are.” He sighs. “Its perfect darling, thank you and please don’t worry about my impressing anyone tonight. I am more interested in the impression this Min boy you’ve been seeing makes.” Your heart suddenly drops. “About that, he won’t be able to make it. He had a family emergency but he says he will make it up to you.” You fathers brow furrows, “Is that so? Well, no one lets my daughter down. Tell him while I appreciate the sentiment, it isn’t needed. Besides, this must be divine intervention since I’ve invited a more suitable suitor for you.” “Daddy, he has an emergency. He would be here if he could. I am not interested in any other suitors.” “I know how boys like that think and I will not allow you to be taken advantage of, now I will hear no more of this Min boy. Besides, I thought it was my birthday, come let’s go enjoy breakfast.” Your father shuffles out of bed and heads into his restroom, leaving you feeling defeated.

MIN:

Yoongi’s smile soon fades as his mother abruptly stops dancing. He swallows slowly, removing his hands from his pocket and standing upright. “Wont you come say hello to your mother or are you still frightened of me after all this time?” She turns to face Yoongi and his eyes well with tears at her beauty. He hadn’t realized how much he had forgotten of her looks. “Come now angel, hug me.” She spreads her arms wide. He walks over to her slowly and falls into her embrace, sobbing softly as she pets his head. “Shh, its ok now. Mother has you. When did you change your hair color?” She pulls Yoongi away from her body, looking him over. “Do you hate it?” He asks. “No, I love it, your dark hair made you look too much like your father but this makes you look more like my angel.” He smiles at her response. She pulls Yoongi by the arm and over to sit with her in the shade under a large tree. “How are you angel? It’s been too long. I’ve wanted to write but they won’t tell me where you are now.” “I am good mother. It has been quite an adjustment. Father remarried.” She nods. Yoongi wonders what she’s on or not on as she continuously pets his face, arm, or head. “I heard from grandmother. He married his assistant Lee An, they always enjoyed each other’s company. He used to tell me I was crazy but I wasn’t was I angel? I was right, you see. I know things.” She whispers closely to his face and then breaks out laughing. “Mother, why did you ask to see me?” She stops laughing quickly and looks puzzled, hurt almost. “Didn’t you miss me angel? I missed you so much or have you turned against me like your father? Are you settled in with your new family? Your poor mother left with nothing.” She growls and then gasps before smiling. She goes back to petting Yoongi’s arm. “I have missed you mother but I have questions.” “No! Yoongi! No!” Yoongi and his mother turn to see her aide running towards them. “Alice! Hi! My son is here.” Yoongi’s mother waves at her. Alice comes towards them quickly, out of breath, she leans in and whispers into Yoongi’s ear. “You know you aren’t supposed to be alone with her.”

Y/N:

You’ve texted Yoongi multiple times but have yet to receive a response. He’s been on your mind all morning since you broke the news to your father that he wouldn’t be joining in on this evening festivities. “Morning gorgeous!” Your BFF enters your room. “Hey!” “Hey yourself! What’s with the long face?” “Daddy is not happy about Yoongi not being able to make it tonight. He doesn’t want me seeing him. On top of that I can’t reach him at all. Ugh. I really just want to let him have it but I’m trying to be understanding of his situation.” “And what exactly is his situation Y/N? This is the first you’re even hearing about his mother. He could be lying and out somewhere with his actual girlfriend. Don’t let him fool you with his charm or whatever it is you see in him. Tonight, is all about your dad anyway and having a good time. Screw that silly ole Min boy.” You nod, hearing what your friend was saying but upset that she’s feeding you doubt. What if Yoongi really did lie and was out with some other woman? Could you handle being made a fool again by another man? You lift your phone up and type out a text, ‘If you’re lying about your mom and fucking around with another girl so help me God Min, I’ll do everything in my power to bring you down.' You toss your phone to the side and look over at your BFF who is pretending to ignore you. “Wanna see what I’m wearing tonight?” You ask her. Her eyes light up. “Hell yes! Show me!”

MIN:

Yoongi sits in the living room now with his mother as Alice serves them tea. He feels unsettled as he carefully looks over every detail in her home. Shoes in the kitchen, clothes on the coffee table, and missing photos from the wall all have him fearing the worse. “You said you had questions. Well? Ask them love.” His mother says, settling into the seat next to him, petting him once again. He pulls away from her much to her dismay. “You’ve grown cold Yoongi. Like your father.” “Are you off your meds?” Yoongi snaps. Alice walks in, removing the clothing from the coffee table to make room for tea. “Those pills make me crazy. They fog my brain. I’m better without them but to answer your question, no, I am not off them. It’s a condition of my release. I must take them. Alice here makes sure of that. Don’t you Alice?” Alice places the tea kettle and fixings on the coffee table. She pours Yoongi's mother tea but Yoongi shakes his head when offered. His phone begins buzzing in his pocket. He pulls it out quickly and smirks at the messages from Y/N. “Girlfriend?” His mother begins rubbing his arm. Yoongi swallows hard and puts his phone away. “Yeah, something like that.” “What’s she like?” “Different, good different. I like her.” “That’s so great, angel. What’s her name?” Yoongi grows tired of the back and forth. “Ah! Why am I here mother? Why did you want to see me? Just tell me already.” Her face dropping, she turns away from Yoongi, sipping her tea obnoxiously.

“I lied to you earlier. Grandmother didn’t tell me about your fathers’ marriage. He did, himself. I spoke with your father. He says that you are going through a tough time. He says you’re angry, emotional. He says it’s my fault. I am so sorry for all that I’ve done Yoongi. You must understand how hard things were for me back then. I was sick. I didn’t know what was real or not. Your father hurt me, and I had to hurt him back. You were all that I had to use against him. I am so sorry for that. Your father thought it would be a good idea for me to give you closure. He only wishes to see you grow into the man I know you are capable of becoming.” Yoongi stands now, pacing back and forth, eyeing his mother suspiciously. “What did he offer you?” He spews. She laughs nervously. “Sit down angel. Your pacing is making me nervous.” “WHAT DID HE OFFER YOU?”  He shouts, his body shaking. “15,000 a month if I no longer contact you or see you. He is willing to take care of all my medical needs and the house needs so much work. Don’t you want your mother to be taken care of?” He scoffs. “So, 15,000? Is that all I’m worth? I suppose I shouldn’t be upset though mother, it’s more than the nothing you were originally willing to give my life for isn’t it? I’m not mad, I do want you to be taken care of because I hold more compassion than you or father ever will and he’s right, its time I came into my own. You shouldn’t contact me again, as far as I’m concerned, my mother died years ago.” He turns to walk away. “Yoongi wait,” Although he doesn’t want to, something pulls him to face her, “Don’t misunderstand that night. I was only trying to free you. If you truly care for that girl, leave her be, you’re no good. No matter how hard I tried, you’re rotten just like your father.” His mother’s normally soft features harden, and he can’t help but think about that day. That awful day, she had that same look as she grasped his neck tightly, holding his body underwater in the tub with her own, desperately trying to drown him.

Y/N:

“I want to thank you all for coming to celebrate my amazing father here tonight. Without him I would be nothing, so Daddy I hope your day was everything you imagined, and that tonight is the cherry on top. Yes, that means he’s still single ladies! Happy birthday Daddy! Cheers!” The crowd erupts into laughter and applause, sipping their drinks. You hug your father and he leans in to whisper into your ear, “My esteemed guest has arrived. I hear he is somewhere in the crowd. Go find Namjoon, I’m sure the two are rubbing elbows as we speak.” Your stomach flips suddenly at the thought of some blind date attending the party. You move through the crowd in search of Namjoon. “God this party is fabulous! I love being your friend, have I ever told you that?” Your BFF stops you in your tracks. “Have you seen Joon?” she shakes her head. “You look amazing in that dress girl! The girls are out tonight,” She laughs, “If only that Min boy could see you now. His loss.” She hands you a glass of champagne from a passing waiter that you immediately chug, still looking around for Namjoon. “Something is up, I have this feeling in my gut you know.” “You just need something stronger.” Your friend points out, dragging you to the makeshift bar. “Two double shots of whiskey neat please.” She tells the bartender. She hands one to you after tipping the gentlemen behind the bar. “Cheers!” She shouts before you both swallow your drinks in one hot wave. You breathe out quickly to keep from retching. “There he is!” You make note aloud, leaving your friend at the bar and making your way through the crowd toward the stairs to where you saw Namjoon standing at the banister, overlooking the party. By the time you make it up the stairs however, he’s walked off. “What the?” You say aloud.

“My God, Y/N, I think you are more stunning than the last time I saw you.” Your jaw drops as your ex-boyfriend Jimin approaches you. You scramble to find the words as he looks you up and down. Your skin gooses at the sight of him. He is still as gorgeous as you recall. He stands before you effortlessly handsome. Lips full, hair brushed back and parted, in an all-black suit. “Cat has your tongue huh. How have you been, Jagi? It's been so long since we last spoke or even saw each other. Imagine my surprise when your father called me and invited me to his huge birthday bash. You know I couldn’t resist seeing you right?” “Jimin, I, you can't be here. I don’t want you here.” He smiles wide at your duress. “Oh Jagi, but you're already so excited to see me.” He passes his fingertips along your spine, moving you closer to his body. “People are watching.” You raise your hand up to rest on his chest, keeping him at a distance. “You look so beautiful in this red dress Jagi, hugging every curve, did you wear it just for me?” You can't keep your body from responding to his advances as he rests his hand just above your plump ass. You swallow hard, breathing in his scent, realizing how close you are now. Your entire forearm resting on his chest now. “You hurt me Jimin. We will never, ever, be what we once were. I don’t know what Daddy told you but it's never going to happen. I’ve met someone else, someone more alluring, and honestly I really like him.” You whisper, oh so close to his lips now. He chuckles softly, licking his lips. “Just one kiss then. A sign of peace between us, closure if you will, a chance to seal what once was.” He whispers back, leaning in for the kill. Try as you may, you never could resist him. You hadn't met someone so entrancing until Yoongi and God what would he say if he could see you now? Wrapped in the arms of another man, tongue frantically swirling around his, hands tangled deep in the hairs on the nape of his neck. Could he ever forgive the sight? You know you should stop, rip away but instead you push further into the kiss, allowing him to knead your ass. When you both part you’re out of breath, staring longingly into each other's eyes. “I hope he treats you well Jagi. Better than I ever could. You deserve it.” Jimin trails his fingertips along your spine once again. “Sorry to interrupt,” Namjoon cuts in, placing his hand on your elbow, “We have a problem.”    

Min:

God she’s like heaven served up by the devil himself in that dress. Yoongi thinks to himself. He watches in awe as you confidently give your speech, offering your father away. He had hopped on a private jet back home and arrived with enough time to shower, change, and slip into your father’s birthday bash to surprise you. As he watches you walk off into the crowd, he decides to stalk you quietly, taken by your beauty. He smirks as you look around frantically and he wonders if you can feel his presence, if you could both be at all that connected. As you swallow down your drink at the bar, he follows your line of view to see Namjoon looking down over the crowd. He hums to himself, intrigued as to why you’re so excited to have spotted Namjoon at all. He watches you rush through the crowd and decides to intervene. ‘Miss me? Meet me downstairs by the bar.’ Yoongi watches as Namjoon checks his phone, looking over the crowd again and meeting his gaze. Yoongi waves as Namjoon’s turns and takes the back stairwell down to meet him.

“When did you wander in?” Namjoon asks as he approaches Yoongi. “During the speech. How’s my brat been?” Namjoon shakes his head with a chuckle. “I gotta say, I knew you two were gonna hit it off. There should be some sort of prize on my end for letting you have that room at the Lake house, but if I am being honest, she’s been fishing for information. She wants to know more about the enigmatic Min Yoongi.” “She should get in line with the rest of them.” Yoongi chuckles. “Yeah? Well, I gotta say you’ve surprised me. I didn’t think you’d ever tell her about your mother.” Yoongi shrugs. “I didn’t tell her much honestly. Just that she asked to see me. No big deal.” “Speaking of, how did it go?” Yoongi shakes his head, fiddling with a coaster at the bar. “Sorry to hear that bro. I know you were hoping to get some answers from her but I am sure….” Namjoon’s voice fades away, the sound of Yoongi’s pulse booming in his ears instead. His heart drops in his stomach as his blood runs cold. He lifts a finger in the air, pointing up at the spot where Namjoon once stood. “Who the fuck is that?” Yoongi spews. Namjoon turns around to look at where Yoongi is pointing, his eyes soon shooting open at the sight before him. He looks back to Yoongi who if at all possible, has turned paler, eyes sunken in with a look that could kill. “Um, I think that's Jimin, her uh, ex.” Yoongi’s head snaps quickly to meet Namjoon’s gaze. “Why on earth is she up there kissing her fucking ex?” “I don’t know but you gotta calm down ok. I know what you may think but they have been broken up for like 2 years or something. I’m sure there is an explanation.” Yoongi scoffs at the comment. “Oh, yes. I’m sure she just tripped and he caught her with his lips. Get out of my way.” Yoongi pushes past Namjoon now. “Wait,” Namjoon grasp Yoongi by his coat, causing Yoongi to grip Namjoon by the arms tightly, “Let me talk to her first ok. Maybe you and her can go someplace quiet so as not to cause a scene. It IS her father’s birthday after all.” Yoongi grunts angrily at the ground before releasing Namjoon. “Fine. Go.” Namjoon hurries off, leaving Yoongi's head spinning a million miles a minute.

Y/N:

“What? What’s wrong?” You stare at Namjoon, who looks frantic. “It’s good to see you too Namjoon.” “You shouldn’t be here, scum.” Namjoon snips. “I was invited,” Jimin scoffs, looking over to you, “Jagi, call me anytime. I am always available to you, but it seems I am not wanted. I guess I should be leaving now.” Jimin leans in and kisses you on the cheek before turning towards Namjoon. “It really is good to see you Namjoon. Be well.” “I’m sorry but I don’t share the same sentiment.” Namjoon responds, hardening his face. Jimin nods and walks off. “Joon, that was not what you think ok? I can explain. He just wanted…” “Maybe it’s not what I think but I have to say my piece. What exactly are you playing at? He cheated on you, broke your heart, and left you in shambles. Yet here you are like putty in his hands, giving him everything he wants, ready to serve up the same thing he did to you to Yoongi and I know that Yoongi isn't perfect but he means well and deep down he’s a great guy, better than Jimin ever was to you.” Your heart seizes at Namjoon’s words. “Well, we don’t have to tell Yoongi right now ok? What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him right? I know he’s your friend but so am I and I just need time to process everything and then I can talk to him about this. Just give me some time that’s all I ask.” “I’m sorry Y/N but your time is up.” You gulp at his comment. “Joon.” You plead as he steps to the side, still holding your elbow. Your jaw drops and heart races as you look over towards the seating area and see a familiar pale face staring back at you through his laced fingers. “Yoongi. How?” You whisper. “He was trying to surprise you. I suppose the jokes on him huh. Like I said, we have a problem.”

MIN:

Her shocked face says it all. She didn’t feel me here at all. There is no connection. I am the fool, as always. She thought she could get away with it. Yoongi’s mind races, all his insecurities flooding his psyche. She begins to approach him, taking a seat beside him. “We should talk. I know you think you know what you saw but there is so much to unpack there. I had no clue you were here, why didn’t you tell me?” “Would it have made a difference, if you knew or not? Would you have avoided the kiss all together just for my sake?” Yoongi turns to face her now. “Found an empty lounge room. I guess it's for the staff but if you guys need a few minutes to talk, there’s no one in there.” Namjoon informs. Yoongi stands and watches as Y/N gets up as well, turning to follow Namjoon. He can’t help but watch the sway in her hips, angered by the twitch in his dick caused by her skin-tight dress. “Here we are.” Namjoon says as you all reach the destination. Namjoon opens the door, allowing for Y/N and Yoongi to walk in. Yoongi nods at Namjoon and closes the door behind him, sure to lock it. As Yoongi turns, Y/N slides her body up against his. “Please don’t be mad at me baby. It meant nothing to me. He means nothing to me. It was nonsense, closure. You’re the only one for me and I even told him that. You’re all I need.” Yoongi looks over her pleading face, fighting with himself on what to believe. “I can make everything better. Make it up to you. You know I would never hurt you.” Yoongi closes his eyes tightly at her words, swallowing hard as she rubs his growing erection. He hates how his body responds to her. “Are you angry? Please, say something. What are you thinking? Do you want to spank me? Is that it?” Yoongi’s eyes pop open at her question. His body tightening to her ask. He did want to punish her, hear her desperate cries as he turns the flesh of her ass red. Make her swallow his cock down completely just so he can watch the tears swell in her eyes as she gags, drooling on his balls. Deny her every pleasure, allowing only himself the chance to feel it all. She moves in and places her soft lips against his and all he can picture in his head was her in the arms of another man. As she tries to deepen the kiss, anger ignites inside him and he can’t help but shove her back. “On your knees, Brat!” He commands. ‘Fuck the light, fuck trying to be good, where has it gotten me,’ Yoongi thinks to himself, ‘Tonight, she meets the real me.’

Y/N:

“No!” You shout defiantly. You won’t give into Yoongi’s behavior tonight. Normally you would have no trouble doing exactly as he commanded, reveling in his every explicit desire. It always turned you on, how well he tamed you, how in tune he was with your body, but lately something changed in him and he was softer, more romantic, something you had grown to love as well. You wouldn’t give in without a fight or at the very least having explained the situation fully. Yoongi didn’t respond to your defiance, instead he opts to lean against the door and watch you. “I know I fucked up ok. I should have never even allowed Jimin to touch me, let alone kiss me. I swear though, I told him about us. I told him that I really like you Yoongi and I do.” “I’m going to fuck his name right out of your mouth.” You swallow hard at his response, squeezing your thighs together at the feeling of your cunt clench around nothing. “I, I wanted you here with me. Daddy was upset, he called him because he thought that, that…” Your resolve is failing you as you scramble to find your train of thought. “That his whore of a daughter needed to be chock full of someone, anyone’s cock?” Your eyes pop open and you run towards Yoongi, slamming your fist into his chest. “Don’t talk about daddy like that. You know nothing about him.” “I know that I’m the only one you’ll be calling daddy here tonight, brat!” You shove him away from you. “I know you’re angry Yoongi. You have every right to be but please don’t shut me out. I want to be more to you than just some random girl you fuck.” Yoongi chuckles, walking over to you. He slides his fingertips along your jawline. “I wanted that too, but you ruined everything.” “Don’t say that. It was one slip up. It meant nothing. I’m sorry ok.” He nods running his fingertips down your neck and along your exposed cleavage. He takes the tiny red strap of your dress between his fingertips and twirls it before yanking it hard, snapping the fragile fabric. “Such a gorgeous little slut. Tell me, are you going to be a good girl and take everything I give you?” You moan softly, biting your lip, trying not to fall for his wicked charm. “Yoongi, please.”

He hums, drunk on the sound of you begging. He takes you by the waist, squeezing your hips before pulling you into his massive erection. “I promise I’ll be good, if you promise to forgive me.” You grind against him now. “My gorgeous little brat, you forget who’s in control here.” He spins you around quickly, his hands trailing along your breast and down your torso. You know what he needs, how to take control. You press your backside into him and yank up your skirt, before dropping onto your knees on a loveseat in the lounge. He groans from deep within his chest at the sight of you. “Do it. I know you want to.” You urge, crying out as he wastes no time slapping you hard across the ass. “Better keep it down brat, we wouldn’t want daddy to hear, now would we?” He teases, slapping you once again this time harder. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip to keep from screaming. Yoongi plants two more heavy palms on your exposed ass, panting heavily with lust each time. Your backside burns against the cool air, but you don’t care you know he needs this; this is how he speaks; this is how he expresses his emotions. “More!” You shout, egging him on, showing him that you could speak his language. You needed him to know that you needed this too and that you could be each other’s escape, if only he would let you in. He yanks your thong down, cupping your drenched sex. “I said more!” You hear him scoff right before he brings his large hand to meet your exposed cunt. The slap creating an illicit sound against your wet lips. It sends shock waves through you. “Fuck!” You yelp whilst Yoongi proceeds to spread your lips open and tease your swollen bud with two fingers. You mewl and grind against him. “God, feels so good. You always know what to do.” You praise just as Yoongi quickly winds back and slaps your cunt once more causing a sharp zap of electricity to shoot through your needy clit. You jump forward at the new feeling, Yoongi grasping your hips and pulling you back onto your knees. He begins once again to tease your clit, uses your juices to rub small circles around it. You hitch your hips back at the feeling, needing more. “More please. I need you inside me.” Yoongi obliges by sliding one measly finger into your soaked cunt. You clench desperately, “Stop teasing.” You plead. “Such a greedy cunt. Look how she gobbles at my finger. So wet, so sweet, begging for more.” Yoongi mocks. He adds another finger and you growl with pleasure at the feeling. You raise your hand up and begin to rub your neglected clit as Yoongi fingers you roughly. “Fuck! I’m so close.” You cry out. “That’s enough.” Yoongi yanks his fingers from inside you, instead slapping your hard once more on the ass. “You fuck!” You cry out. “You don’t cum until I say you do brat.” Yoongi groans, licking a long trail from your clit to your taint before slapping you once more upon your exposed cunt. You cry out once more not sure of how much more you can take. “Yoongi, my God, please. I need you.” You beg him. Yoongi gently rubs his palms over your burning ass and you wince in pain. You wait to see if he'll plant kisses along your backside like normal but instead, he squeezes your cheeks tightly causing you to yelp in pain. He hums in delight before planting himself on the couch, allowing you take in the sight of his cock pressing firmly against his zipper, begging to be freed. He bites his lip seductively watching you yearn over him. “Not until you come suck daddy’s cock.”

MIN:

She’s never looked so fucking needy and desperate to please me. Yoongi thinks to himself as she drops to her knees before him. She licks her lips in anticipation as she unbuttons his pants, freeing his aching cock from its restraint. She slowly strokes him, using his pre-cum to ease the passing of her soft hands along his shaft. He watches her with lust filled eyes as she bites her lip, twisting and twirling her fist around his cock. “Spit on it.” He demands. She swallows nervously making Yoongi smile. He wonders if this is the first time someone has asked her to do this. No matter to him, he was willing to work with her, push her past her limits, tame the needy brat inside her. He passes his thumb gently across her bottom lip before shoving his index and middle finger into the back of her throat causing her to gag. “Good girl. Now, spit on it.” She leans forward and allows her drool to accumulate at her lips before dropping a glob of spit on his reddened tip. Yoongi sucks in a deep breath as he watches her drool make its way down his shaft. He yanks her tits free, sliding down on the couch, he nestles his cock between them. He presses the soft flesh tightly against his throbbing member as he hitches his hips upward, fucking her full breasts. She places her hands over his, mouth opened, watching him through her lashes.

“Does my little slut like it when I fuck her tits?” “Yes.” “Yes, what?” “Yes, sir.” “Tsk, tsk. Not tonight I’m not.” Yoongi grasp her by her hair and yanks her head back licking unabashedly at her neck while tugging at her pointed nipple, eliciting a deep dark moan to escape her. “Yes, what?” “Yes, daddy.” Yoongi smiles against her neck, pulling her head down to meet his drooling cock. “Open wide for me baby.” She does exactly as she's told and Yoongi rewards her with a slow entrance into her mouth rather than the hard one he had planned. He allows her to relax her throat as he finds purchase there, holding her in place by her hair, as his cock throbs against her quaking esophagus. He rolls his head back at the feeling. He looks back down at her as she digs her nails into his thighs. He wonders if he should let her up for air or if she could hold on for a bit longer. She whines slightly and he presses into her further before pulling her up to his tip. She gasps for air and he groans at the sight of her all teary eyed, drool string from her lips to his cock, out of breath. “You’ve never looked more beautiful.” He tells her. “I’m so wet for you daddy. I want you so bad.” He smirks at her response. “Almost, baby, almost.” He hints, running his tip along her lips. She nods opening her mouth. She slides her tongue along the underside of his head, wrapping her lips around the tip fully she suckles at the mushroomed top, working one hand along his shaft and the other massaging his balls. Yoongi moans aloud feeling his body tense as his climax builds. If she keeps this up, he’s going to cum a lot faster than he intends to.

Y/N:

Yoongi abruptly stops you just as you are intensely working his cock. “Up.” He commands. You stand immediately, watching as Yoongi get on his feet, and pushes you onto your knees once more on the couch. He leans in and takes your ear lobe in his mouth, nibbling and tugging at it. “Do you love him?” He asks out of nowhere. “What?” He ignores you and begins kissing down your neck, biting at the sensitive flesh. “Did he kiss you like this?” He grips your hips, trailing his kisses down your back. “Yoongi, don’t do that. You're the only one I want.” You try to reassure him. “Prove it,” He moans, grabbing your sore ass and spreading your cheeks apart. He lands a slap on your already tormented rear end, “Beg me to fuck you. Make it convincing.” “Yoongi....” You start but your protest is only met with another whack across the bum. Your wanting pussy coming alive once again. “Daddy, please won't you fuck me?” You twirl your hips up at him. “No.” He slaps you hard across the ass once more, your juices flowing past your lips. “Fuck! Please, please, fuck me.” “Hmmm. Better, you're getting warmer.” He rubs his fingers along your slit, slapping down against your moistened mound. “Ah! Fuck me Min ok, stop playing games. I’m over this. Just please. I need release.” “Brattier.” He mulls, sticking two fingers deep inside you, igniting your nerve endings. You grip the couch now to keep from wailing at the feeling. “God, Please, it's not enough. I need your cock. Only yours will do. No one fucks like you. Please.” “Good girl.” He praises, shoving the whole of his cock deep within you. Your gasp caught in your throat. Yoongi takes the opportunity to shove his sticky fingers into your gaping mouth and excitedly you clamp down on them, sucking your juices from each one.

He drops his hand from your mouth to your throat, grasping tightly as he begins to drill his cock into you over and over. His moans grow hoarse and more animal like with each thrust as you feel your core burn with your rising climax. “Don't....you...cum!” He growls into your ear, keeping his tortuous pace, your pussy clenching and releasing with burning pleasure. You feel his grip get tighter around your neck as the air begins to restrict, “Yoongi”, You tap his hand to try and warn him of your oncoming climax. You don’t think you can hold on much longer. You vision becomes blurry as Yoongi cries out into the room, his release hitting him like a bus, he unloads his massive seed into you. You tap his hand once more, as you feel his seed create a heavenly slickness as it spills out of you. Yoongi tightens down on your neck once again and immediately releases, dropping his hand to attack your swollen clit as you take your first deep breath. Your body quakes in a way you’ve never felt before as your coil snaps at an unprecedented rate. You screech out, as you squirt your climax all over Yoongi’s balls. Yoongi continues to rub small circles along your bud whilst slowly thrusting in and out of you until you beg him to stop, the feelings of overstimulation too much to bear. Yoongi pulls his now softening member from inside you and you both begin to dress in silence. He hands you a few paper towels from inside the lounges bathroom and you happily take them, cleaning up the mess between your thighs. Yoongi looks down at his crotch, knowing no amount of scrubbing will fix the damage done to his suit pants so he opts to just untuck his dress shirt. “I guess ruining your suits is becoming a habit of mine.” You smile. He doesn’t respond. You walk over to him, forcing him to look you in the eyes. “Yoongi I am so sorry about tonight with Ji-, my ex. I know what I did isn't excusable but please know if I could take it back I would. I, God, I’m falling for you. I love you.” You painfully admit. Yoongi winces at your confession, causing your stomach to flip. “Don’t say things you couldn’t possibly understand the meaning of. I don’t take those words lightly and you shouldn't either. I’ve never said those words to anyone, and I don’t think I'll be starting now.” He smooths out his shirt of its wrinkles and you try hard to swallow down the lump in your throat, tears prickling at your eyes. “Yoongi, please, things have been so good.” He nods. “They have been and all it takes is one moment to fuck it all up.” He waves his hands up in defeat. You stop trying and just let your tears fall, hoping they will sway him, chip away at his cold exterior.

MIN:

It kills Yoongi to see her standing before him crying, her mascara running. She looks spent, defeated, lip quivering. It broke his heart to hear her utter the words I love you. He lied when he said he has never told anyone those words. He’s told his mother but what was that for, she only ever loved herself. Deep down inside he knew that he loved this woman before him. She wasn’t just some girl he fucked. His emotions for her ran deep. Their connection immediate, from the moment he saw her face bathed in sunlight on the terrace of Namjoon’s Lake house, he knew he had to have her all to himself. Namjoon warned him of her, that she was breath taking, “A rollercoaster.” was his exact description and he couldn’t have been more accurate. She had made him feel things he hadn't felt in a long time but tonight she made him feel something that he felt every day of his life, betrayal, and that he couldn't have. So, as much as it pained him to shut her out, he had to pull his guard up, his wall was the only thing that truly kept him from breaking. Even as she walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him, crying into his chest, he stood stern in decision. “I’m sorry but I don’t love you.” He whispered, watching her heart break before him, as he wiped away her tears. “Open it!” You both hear from the other side of the door right before it swings open. “What the hell is going on here? Who are you and why they hell are touching my daughter?” Y/N clings to Yoongi’s side. He’s almost proud to have been caught, the thought of her father setting her up with another man causing his anger to surge. “Daddy! Wait, let me explain. This is...” “I don’t give a shit who it is! I am told to investigate the sounds of screaming and what do I find? My daughter in the arms of this heathen? You dishonor me Y/N! Get over here, now!” For a moment Yoongi tugs at you, keeping you at his side, wanting to protect you from your fathers wrath. He knew all too well what you were feeling. “Its not her fault sir.” “Shut up snail! You’re unworthy of my attention nor that of my daughters.” “Daddy stop it.” She defies. “I understand sir. Good thing I’m already done with her.” Yoongi watches as both Y/N and her fathers face drop. He smirks, unbothered, making sure to shove his shoulder into her fathers on the way out of the room. “Wait, Yoongi!” She calls to him but he doesn’t turn around, this time choosing to hold onto the upper hand.

[peach-the-owl]

23,38 and 46. With Jester where the M9 is going out to this mission that was was assigned to them but won't take the kid, we get in a argument with Jester about it and we run off ,then traveler finds us and it convinces us to go find them and save them. (SORRY IF THIS TO TOO MUCH! keep it up btw :3)

Conflict…… I love it, and don’t worry it’s not too much. Actually I’m not sure what to consider "too much" just yet, I guess I’ll cross that barrier when it’s reached but for now… conflict 😁

Divine Intervention

Child of the Nein (Jester & Child!Reader)

23- That's not fair! 38- I hate you, 46- You came back

Doing odd jobs for people was both a nice way to help the small communities and make some nice cash for future shopping needs. The town you’d stumbled in was paying a generous reward to anyone who could deal with the chimera that’s been terrorizing the place. The Nein were in one room discussing their course of action while you were in another, happily jotting down in the notebook Jester gave you some little doodles of you fighting the beast as if you’d already won. The door creaks open and Jester walks in, you bounce up to her not noticing the nervous look on her face.

"You’re back! That means you’re all done talking and we can go kick some chimera butt." You say pumping your fist in the air.

"Yeah, ummm, about that…" her voices trails off a little, you still none the wiser as you grab her hand.

"C'mon, c'mon, we can’t keep everyone waiting!"

"(Y/n), I know you’re excited but-"

"Just tell me about it on the way there!" You quickly cut her off before she can finish, making your way to the door.

"Your not coming!" You pause, the smile on your face instantly disappearing as you turn to look at Jester confused. "We were all talking and have decided that you should stay here." She spoke slowly as if having a hard time speaking her words aloud.

"But… but why not?" You look at her with big eyes, she rubs at her shoulders, clearly up having a hard time with this.

"It’s just that this could be really dangerous and we don’t want anything bad happening to you."

"That’s it!?" Your confusion and disappointment bubbled into anger. "We’ve been in lots of dangerous fights before, why is this so different? I know how to handle myself, I can fight!" You argue, Jester bites at her lip.

"I know you can, but you’re also still little and you don’t have a lot of experience, so you can’t come." She crosses her arms and gives you a hard look, your growing anger refuses to let you give up.

"That’s not fair! I’ll never get to learn if I don’t try! What happened to us being the unstoppable team? It’s not fair!" Tears stream down your face as you stomp your feet around and flail your arms up and down in frustration. For a moment Jester looks like she’s about to cave but she shakes her head and looks at you with a stern look.

"That’s enough (y/n). I have to learn to take responsibility for you and I say you’re not coming, that’s final!" You both stare at each other for a second try to make the other back down, when neither one of you does you scream in frustration.

"I hate you!" You yell then quickly turn and dash out the door before you can see Jester's look of pure heartbreak.

"Wait (y/n), come back!" Jester calls to your retreating form, but you were already too far to hear her. She tries to go after you but is stopped by Caleb and Beau.

"We need to leave, now." Caleb simply says.

"I-but I…" Jester shifts her gaze from them to the direction you’d run off in.

"Look," Beau sighs, "whatever it is that’s bothering you will have to wait till we get back." Jester takes one last look at where you’d been then gives a sad nod and follows after them, but not before giving a silent prayer to the Traveler to watch over you.

You were sat by a small pond in town staring at the reflections in the water seeing birds flying around freely in the bright and beautiful sky, you grab a stone and chuck it into the pond making the image shift and shake, than another. Soon you were standing and grabbing whatever seemed close enough to you, throwing them into the pond watching the reflection ripple around before settling down again every time. You reel your hand back but stop yourself this time before throwing the object and stare at it, this was the holy symbol to the Traveler Jester made for you and you almost threw it away. You grip the item tightly and hold it to your chest remembering and feeling guilty about what you shouted at her earlier, slowly sinking back down onto your knees. You hear a soft sigh, seeing a second presents approach you out of the corner of your eye.

"This sour look on your face really doesn’t suit you, I much prefer it when you’re smiling." You turn your head and stare in awe at the clocked figure that takes a seat next to you.

"It’s really you." You speak softly, still absolutely starstruck that you were talking with the very deity Jester's told you so much about and the one you'd come to serve as a paladin to. You hear a chuckle come from them.

"Tell me child, why are you here instead of with everyone else?" You tilt your head in confusion at his question, he should already have known the answer to that.

"I thought you knew everything, so you must have heard me and Jester argue earlier."

"Indeed… I just wished to hear it from you," he pauses a moment. "An unfortunate thing for me to watch really. I rather like seeing the two of you working together to cause such marvellous chaos. Now why don’t you get up and rejoin them."

"But I can’t! Jester said I had to stay here." You cross your arms and pout a little.

"Now when have rules like this stopped you from doing something fun." You look at him again and can see a devious smirk from under the large hood. "If you ask me, rules are more like highly regarded or overly glorified… suggestions others choose to follow, when nessessary." The Traveler hums, you were slowly starting to get the idea being placed before you.

"You really think it’s okay?"

"Oh absolutely, and if they ask you just tell them I was the one to send you there." Your smile brightens for a second but drops when you realize something.

"Wait but I don’t know where they are!" You look to him with concern, he raises his hand and licks at his fingers? Strange, but who were you to question his methods. He then points towards a rocky hillside area.

"If you head in this direction you’ll find where they are, and if you hurry you’ll make it just in time too."

"In time for what?" You ask, feeling him place a gentle hand on top of your head. He leans in a little closer and says.

"Why, in time for them to see just what a paladin of the Traveler can really do." You smile at this and quickly go grab your gear, you take one look behind your shoulder and see that the Traveler was now nowhere in sight but sensed he was still watching over you.

With everything ready you run off in the direction the Traveler had shown you and it’s not long until you find a rather large cave entrance amongst the rocks. There was something about this cave that, when you entered, made you feel icky. As you walk deeper you tap into your Divine Sense in hopes that it’ll help you find the source and to your surprise you were able to detect something fiendish just within your senses radius and decide to follow the awful scent. As you follow your senses you can’t help but wonder what sort of fiend would be here, and more importantly weren’t you supposed to be fighting a chimera. You find your answer when you reach a pitted out area, the source your senses lead you to was in fact a chimera but it was far different then what books have described. It still had the heads of a goat, lion and dragon but it’s wings were more bat-like, it’s tail was that of a scorpions and it had quills on its body like a porcupines, not to mention its abnormally large size and the odd chains that wrapped around its body. The Mighty Nein were down there fighting the beast, they all looked badly roughed up though the chimera itself also looked pretty beaten but not as badly it seemed. It lets out a variety of snarls as it closes in on everyone, you had to think fast, looking at the chimera you notice that the chains on it all linked to one spot on its back where a mysterious stone was wedged into it, that stone had to be the source of the fiendish energy you detected. The only way to get to it was to get onto the chimeras back, fortunately it was in this pit but you were gonna need to make some good distance if you wanted this to work. The chimera swats at the everyone scattering the group to get out of the way its sights then set to the nearest target and as luck would have it that target was Jester. You had a plan, would it actually work you weren’t sure, but you prayed to the Traveler for help and take a few steps back then sprint forward using a combination of the Grease spell you knew and your shield to slide gaining an extra boost of speed. You rocket off the edge and kick off your shield for even more distance, by some divine miracle you managed enough distance to arc yourself right on target with the chained stone. With a loud battle cry, using all your strength and help of gravity you bash your mace into the stone using up a Divine Smite for extra power, so when you hit the stone a large and bright burst of green light pulses from the chimeras back and you hear a loud crack as the stone shatters into pieces the energy within shooting up into the air before dispersing into nothing. Chains clatter to the ground and the chimera collapses, shrinking in size and its extra features revert back into their intended form, you tumble to the ground in a not so graceful way but you didn’t care. The party stares at you in silence and you look over at Jester who slowly picks herself up and you can see tears in her eyes. You run to her ignoring everyone else and practically jump into her waiting arms.

"You came back." Her voice teeters close to a sob while you both share in a much needed hug.

"I’m sorry about what I said, I didn’t mean it, I don’t hate you." You on the other hand couldn’t stop your sobbing, and feel her press a soft kiss to the top of your head. You stay like this for a little while, no one bothering to interject with your sweet little moment.

"How were you able to find us?" Jester asks when you finally break the hug.

"The Traveler came to me, he showed me." You say with a smile, Jester stares shocked for a second then a large smile of her own spreads across her face.

"Isn’t he the best." She says more as a statement, one you nod eagerly to.

"I don’t mean to interrupt, but we should be gettin' out of here." Fjord steps in, pointing to everyone else who were waiting somewhat impatiently. You both give him a nod and make your way back out of the cave.

"I told you all we should’ve brought (y/n) with us." Jester huffs a little.

"It seems you were right," Caleb says then looks to you. "We never should’ve underestimated your abilities." You just give them all a nice smile.

A little ways away a clocked figure watches the party leave the cave, casual banter and laughs now being shared with everyone, the cloaked figure gives a sigh of relief before disappearing from plain sight.

[believerindaydreams]

GBU rewatch followup

...cleaned up, readable version, now with fewer typos and after-the-fact commentary in parentheticals. 

things I am looking out for in particular:

- how to write trios 

- everything that Angel Eyes does (less than I thought, it turns out; I was bang on the money with “Animal Magnetism” having him only exist for Meaningful Moments)

- the state of Eastwood’s hair (with the hat you don’t really notice it except in the desert scenes, when it is Absurd)

- some of that sweet, sweet Morricone music because it’s the one part of the film that no amount of clever writing will adequately evoke and I love it to pieces (still true)

let’s do this thing then

like, the opening credits are pure stylish flair. That can’t be a book. It’s gorgeous. It’s perfect for what it is. has nothing to do with translation to a 70s au but that is entirely, utterly besides the point

Tuco’s “I have a gun in one hand and a dead chicken in the other” will never not make me laugh

SPAIN: specifically the Spanish landscape and how gorgeous it looks. it all sort of runs together, appropriation and reappropriation and Spain standing in for Mexico…oh hello Angel Eyes,  you look a lot more impressive than Tuco does. Nice entrance.

Also we don’t actually know at first that he’s The Bad? He’s just wandering into frame like he could be the Good cowboy or something, it’s not the music that tells you. It’s the way that the guy’s family respond to his presence and just Go without saying anything. Something about Angel def. invokes silence. No wonder he and Blondie get on.

…like, this whole scene where he’s like “I am going to enjoy your delicious soup but stare at you“ is actually hilarious? Like he’s def. got a sense of humour- it’s just that everybody looks subdued with Tuco in the picture.

There’s a very thin divide between the tension of comedy and the tension of “is he gonna kill me” and Angel Eyes just straddles all over that line.

I like you, Man Eating Soup. Too bad you gotta die now.

…yeah, I think my characterisation of “bounty hunter who keeps his given word but has no qualms” is bang on the money.

last time I didn’t notice how Lee’s voice shifts to being more amused when he’s about to do something incredibly violent. Or how great his voice was at all. Like that was clearly a mistake, he’s great.

Tuco! *hearts* With a trio of men surrounding him in a triangle. ‘m sure that’s thematic.

Clint sounds like Rowdy but more terse.

Oh hell I love the way that we get closeups on Tuco staring at things. I love characters who stare at things in general (cf. Stargate and a team who communicate by looks), and Leone delivers there.

“how much you worth now” and Tuco’s just lol I dunno.

oh Tuco you theatrical hooligan nobody believes your absurd accusations. also geez I couldn’t write that many swears if I spent all day over it.

That is a DAMN sexy wanted poster.

Forgot about Blondie calling Tuco “known at the rat” part. Hmm. I wonder what that’s about?

I always forget how choreographed the duo’s escapes are, like it’s not just shooting a rope, there’s a lot of effort that go into those.

you smug thing Clint. you smug thing. (I assume this was just one of his wry looks past the camera, as he does a lot).

does trans! Angel Eyes in the 70s smoke a pipe. Yes. Yes he does.

“even a filthy beggar like that has got a protecting angel” oh Angel Eyes you has a crush. also a pretty good sense for a scam- are we meant to infer that Angel and Tuco used to play this game? (Also he has correctly assessed Blondie’s Divine Status or whatever it is that keeps him clear of disasters.) 

the way that Tuco jumps on the horse is just. pure sex appeal.

“sawed off runt” Blondie gets in 1 insult but it actually means something, as opposed to Tuco doing 10,000 for the sake of the audience

I see what you did there with putting “the good” on screen just after Blondie abandons Tuco to die horribly in  a desert. I see it.

yeah, I thought I remembered Tuco saving up all the really good insults for Spanish.

(now that I know that Eli’s from Brooklyn, I can’t *not* watch a performance of a deeply pissed off New Yorker who’s in this godsforsaken desert for the dosh but refuses to budge an inch on being a fast talking SOB. The rapid fire line deliveries for sure.)

had forgotten this bit about Angel slapping around a girl….

Aw, Tuco as soon as he finds water is A. drink some and B. play with it. awww you’re adorable Tuco

must go figure out what that thing Tuco wears on his hand is. also contemplate whether the 70s one wears braces.

yeah, like, “I got dumped so I’ll pull myself together and also drink this man’s crazy red liquor and take a hat cos I need a hat” that is peak Tuco right there.

no wait that wasn’t. What is is the exquisitely judged moment where he decides that the guy will probably want the liquor to drown his sorrows afterwards and leaves it.

I am very fond of the way that the war is presented as a disaster that is Happening but which none of the three leads give a __ about. The much maligned poster got that bang on the money.

everything looks so lived in, always, even though I assume they were building sets? Why can’t American westerns of the period look This Real, did they actually build houses or what

Blondie has vividly green eyes. Right then. Tuco’s are brown.

Tuco hires some backup to help him with Blondie. that’s…smart.

I think, actually, that Blodnie’s blue circle calico shirt is something he oughta wear in the 70s. It suits.

“your spurs” like a knight, ha. That’s a terrible gag, Blondie.

why is there so much blood on Tuco’s face. what was he doing to get banged up like that.

so he’s on a stool with a noose, with a gun pointed at him, and Blondie is still not acting like this is anything serious.

ohmigod I LOVE this bit with the cannon and the house collapsing. Hah. It seriously is like Blondie’s a force of nature though

Tuco tracks Blondie by favourite cigar stubs. Also smokes them after. Tempting to borrow that. (like they’re in bed together, Tuco steals his cigar, that kinda thing)

…is he. Is Tuco wearing flares in the 1860s. Yeah I think he is.

“I brought TWO guns” lol sure you did Tuco.

And Tuco winces when Shorty dies and is it like, two against one would make things too complex for him, or he’s mad that Blondie replaced him that fast, or what’s going on here that he let another man hang like that. Blondie doesn’t seem to mind much.

black horse = black car for Tuco.

Tuco mocking Blondie’s fair skin, like yeah there’s definitely a bit of a racial thing here.

“You’ll die. Very slowly, old friend.” also I have an umbrella ain’t it pretty

I think one of the reasons I glom on this film is because for all its length there is literally something happening every single minute. Like most films have dead time when I could, you know, breathe or something, but I haven’t stopped typing since I turned this on.

(the comedy sensibility there as well. You can’t have dead air when you’re writing comedy, things have to be leading somewhere. )

course at the moment the point is “look at this very big desert with two very small people in it”...here comes the whump. Clint sure knows how to lean into it.

sweet jesus Tuco with the sun behind you there you look like some kinda avenging 70s disco angel yourself. also the headband.

here comes the celestial music. here comes the cavalry. see, when Tuco gets into a mess he has to get out of it himself, but this is the second time that Divine Intervention has saved Blondie.

…gosh it’d be funny if that watch in the stagecoach was the Few Dollars More watch. I’m sure it ain’t.

Tuco’s not very good at interrogation. I’m sort of comforted by this, because it suggests he doesn’t do it very often.

when did Blondie get to the stagecoach. seriously when. (oh right it’s Leone. movement is a free action as long as it’s off camera)

that’s twice that Blondie’s called Tuco a rat though. what is about rats for Blondie.

maximum Clint hair fluff here. why do I have a thing for heroes with daft hair. tis daft.

I don’t think that New Mexico has goat skin waterbottles? Whereas they are all over the place in Spain. Hmm.

…okay, I have missed something. Why is Tuco wearing an eye patch now? Like, did he just look at Bill and say “that’s great I’m having that”. Anyway the way he forgets and shoves it up his face to look at the wall hanging is a hoot. (he keeps doing this like a kid playing pirates)

battle between “keeping on hat” and “oh I’m praying”- hat wins. Figures. 

Tuco still has a nasty cut on his face from before. Either this is very good continuity or Eli got hit by a brick during filming and it’s still healing. I honestly cannot tell.

Tuco genuinely doesn’t know nothing about Blondie’s past. Figures.

oh you *bastard* Tuco trying to exhort a deathbed confession. that’s probably his lowest moment in the whole movie actually- cos Blondie started it with the whole “let’s play who dumps who in the desert”

of course Blondie doesn’t fall for it. course he doesn’t. (I do wonder how much of this is Tuco wondering what Blondie will let him get away with.)

also there’s an implied passage of time during which Blondie thinks it’s hilarious to have Tuco fetch and carry for him. That tracks.

ohhhh and the Pablo scene like I have a lot of feels about this. mostly about the way that Tuco is genuinely happy to see Pablo and it all goes wrong, and I already write bits of this relationship into fics but aww…Pablo is genuinely disappointed. Tuco genuinely loves him.

(cannot tell whether Tuco shags a lot of girls or is angry with Pablo and wants him to think he shags a lot of girls. could go either way.)

BLONDIE WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS you creep

in which Tuco just straight-up makes up junk about his brother cos he has an audience. and Blondie goes along with it to the extent of giving him a cigar, and it’s- aw. actual partnership moment. for reals.

“god’s not on our side” yup, and maybe Blondie would have done something if he hadn’t been asleep? But I get the idea he’s happy to take cues from Tuco for improv. 

 Tuco’s “oh fuck” moment inf. relatable.

hello Angel. And our duo knows him, too.

…I, uh, honestly can’t figure out why Blondie thinks it’s a good move for Tuco to pretend to be Bill Carson. Like I honestly can’t see how they’d even think that was a thing to do unless they’d seen the movie up to this part. Like, Tuco and Blondie basically have to be plugged into the narrative to know to do anything here except keep their mouths shut and hope to get to Sad Hill at some point?

Angel Eyes is a practical bastard. Also a sergeant. heigh-ho.

these three definitely know each other and I can’t figure out how. What’s this friendship thing about? It is a mystery. (def Tuco and Angel have a past though. What kind?)

Also Tuco figures that Angel is gonna straight up poison him at first, so that couldn’t have been a wholly easy relationship.

…okay, I’ll have to have a scene where Tuco finally says “yes I think your being called Angel is a hoot”- it is, after all, Here.

Is it that Angel doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, or that it’s easier to fob off the trouble on somebody who does like it, or that he genuinely thinks that anyone less hefty than Wallace might not be able to shove around Tuco like this? mysteries.

I wonder what Blondie is thinking. The prison choir is the goddamn creepiest thing.

yeah, Blondie, you think you’re tough but I think you’d spill your guts out also if the alternative was gouging. That’s not Tuco being a coward, that’s just Angel Eyes treating the object of his crush/a stoic/the white guy better than Tuco. It’s not like there’s a Great Moral Principle at stake for Tuco not to talk or anything.

“We’re going for a ride” is like custom-built to be an Epic Catchphrase though.

…blood doesn’t puddle like that. Someone on production screwed up. (blood is always theatrical in this film. too red and technicolour.)

…where was I? Oh yes. Tuco’s now worth 3000 dollars and is proud of it.

And Wallace is enjoying hurting him. Wallace is exactly the type that Tuco doesn’t grok; hurt somebody because they hurt you, or because you’re mad at them, or they have something you want, but just for the sake of hurting, that I don’t think tracks for him.

(Tuco and Blondie’s scam sure has got around if Wallace knows it. I guess that could have been Angel who told him, but it’s…it’s more like this thing where everyone in the film knows things that were said on screen before? I’d have to do another watch to contemplate this, but the notion fascinates me.)

That “I can’t do it while you’re watching me” is almost cute. Like, obviously it’s a ploy to kill Wallace, but also, it’s cute.

Oh yes, the “we nearly killed Eli” scene”. Thank christ the man had a natural sense of self preservation.

Lots of people in this film wear sexy short cloaks. I love those. I want one of the trio to have on in the 70s, anachronistic or no- maybe Blondie? Dunno.

all three leads have a bit where they’re just spying on the other two. v. sexy.

I’d just like to note that as somebody who has infinite patience for wandering around deserted lonely locales, I love this desolation hotel scene.  

YES BATH SCENE, LOVE THE BATH SCENE

…dumping in all the nice bath salts cos he can. Completely undeterred by being a naked man in a bath facing a gun. continuing with the bath afterwards…

And also Blondie knows Tuco just by the gun. That’s not tracker smarts, that’s, um, divine inspiration.

kitten. Aw, you little kitten.

the way Blondie says “old friend” Angel Eyes actually suggests that it was Tuco who met Angel first.

“So that’s why you came to Tuco”. Yeah, I love mutually necessary relationships, and this one sure counts.

“I want that blond alive” yes we know Angel. We know.

“Were you gonna die alone” oh that IS shippy. 

sometimes Tuco crosses himself after a death, sometimes he doesn’t. there’s no apparent logic there.

the way that Blondie whistles and shoots a guy is max. cowboy aesthetic. also messed up.

Blondie seems cool with Tuco killing Angel. Okies.

(I guess he figures at this point that Angel will have to be waiting...)

I’d remembered the “it’s for you”. Had not remembered Tuco tearing up the paper after, but whatevers.

where does Tuco get all these hats. How? Does he just steal hats whenever he sees a new one?

Leone’s favourite trick of ‘things off camera don’t exist” is amazing. really it is. A whole army camp…

and really, this is all extra, they could just go ahead and have the cemetery duel now, but that’s not really the point.

Actually, Blondie does seem perfectly content to let Tuco do most of the talking when it needs to be done.

That whole bit with the liquor swigging- goes along with my notions of Blondie not actually being a very heavy drinker, Tuco being more enthusiastic. also I do like Tuco’s genuine “really?!” upon being told he could make colonel, like this is the first time somebody’s told him he could be something other than a priest or a bandit, and maybe he would have gone for it if he wasn’t hip deep into the 200,000 thing.

And the mutual Blondie/Tuco “this guy’s insane” looks they swap when the captain’s not looking at them, tis fab.

it’s so weird that nobody in this camp is talking…until they start yelling.

Tuco’s notion of avoiding getting killed by cannon fire is to hide as far out of frame as he can. Given how Leone framing works, this is maybe not so dumb.

it takes the entire civil war for Blondie to render a moral judgement, i. e. war is bad. I feel like he’s obscurely irritated that circumstances have forced him to profess an opinion about something.

Hang on, didn’t Blondie learn the name of the cemetery from Angel Eyes earlier? Does he actually need Tuco at this point?

Blondie next to a big case that says “explosives” is…uh, very Bugs Bunny.

…oh, yeah, it does help having a partner to blow up the bridge. Right.

it is genuinely fun, though, watching these two work as partners. They’re very practical when they want to be.

Tuco taking several minutes to gulp his way into telling Blondie his half of the secret is…interesting. Trusting. And I suspect probably saves his life later. Cos Tuco’s right and blowing up this bridge is dangerous and one of them could easily die…and he is, for once, actually doing his best to do right by his partner in a completely stupid and insane world.

lighting your cigar on the explosives is also very Bugs Bunny.

Blondie, just cos Tuco went to sleep with his arse in easy kicking position doesn’t mean you have to kick it. Also I wonder what Tuco’s whimpering there.

and the young soldier scene. I have notions about the utility of Useless But Kind Gestures that I’ve been ranting about in various 1984 postings for a while, and Blondie gets one here. Oughta contemplate that at length later.

oh look it’s the cemetery. Tuco throws away his map.

…and three minutes go clean out of my head, as they do, because the simple fact is that even with the grave name this is a ridiculous task - how do you find one grave in all five thousand? and Leone is covering for it with a mystical quasi-religious invocation to get Tuco to where we need him to be. Thing is, it works on me. Can’t talk sensibly about the Ecstasy, there is is.

The framing of Angel Eyes coming in is epic, I gotta say. First person. Have we had any first person all film?

…but Blondie, why were you having Tuco dig up Arch Stanton’s grave when it’s the wrong grave, unless you knew Angel was coming? He knows Angel’s coming is all I can think of.

also I think we’re being asked to assume that Blondie took Tuco’s gun while Tuco was asleep with his arse in the air, unloaded it, then put it back, and then kicked him awake. dang if that isn’t a sequence I would have enjoyed Leone committing to celluloid.

okay, so. Three-way.

Tuco’s thinking “if one of these people is gonna shoot me, it’s probably gonna be Angel. So I’ll shoot Angel, and Blondie probably shoots Angel too, and then we see where we are. if they both shoot me I’m dead anyway.”.

Angel Eyes, I bet, is just figuring he should get off a shot at the better shooter first, and he figures that’s Blondie.

Blondie knows who has a weapon, so he just has to spin this out and make it look good for Angel Eyes. Easy. I wonder what he would have done if it wasn’t, though?

(we aren’t ever gonna know are we)

I can’t tell who Angel Eyes is trying to shoot with his last shot. I assume it’s Blondie, but the framing makes it hard to tell?

Tuco, you hafta bring all that money back to civilisation, wrecking the bags doesn’t help there.

Ah yes. The noose. Where did Blondie even get a noose? Is it worthwhile asking the question?

I spent a long time the first time I watched this, genuinely wondering if Tuco was gonna get killed. (I didn’t want Blondie to kill him.) And I was genuinely unsure…until I realised that we were setting it up just like old times, and Blondie was gonna have to shoot him free because he always *had* shot him free, and was always going to, and it was a oroubous of a movie. Which is all the more so in the day of easy DVD rewatching.

which is not to say I didn’t quiver when Blondie levels the gun.

anyway after all he’s been through, I think Tuco’s entitled to shout that last line.

whew!

and some followups for the notes 

...yeah, it definitely makes more sense for Angel Eyes to be an old acquaintance of Tuco’s (unless you’re writing a fic where Blondie is a Weird Force of Nature and trying to reconcile two different people’s connection to him is a driving force of the plot, but I’ll remember this for the Animal Magnetism sequel).

I guess that Tuco is definitely pretending to be Bill Carson, but why? How does that help them? (I assume Blondie doesn’t see the whole torture-by-Angel Eyes coming...)

Yeah, I can see Angel Eyes as someone who’s perfected his gunslinger because his hand-to-hand isn’t so hot. Tuco’s the one who’d probably win in a straight bar brawl, but unfortunately for him that’s not the movie he’s in. 

[sailor2xmoon]

Alternate Ending: Shion dies at the Correctional Facility, Nezumi does not.

Shion tells Nezumi about a book he read, The Five Stages of Grief. Nezumi enters stage one when he covers Shion's body with his jacket on the correctional facility floor. (x)

Rikiga throws Nezumi over his shoulder "Don't die here Eve, Shion is already gone." Nezumi can't stay conscious enough to fight back but he doesn't want to leave.

Put me down. I can't leave Shion. Let me sing for him... Shion. Shion. Sh-

Inukashi is running next to them, crying as quietly as possible. It wasn't supposed to end like this.

The correctional facility collapses, the walls between No.6 and westblock crumble just like Shion's third option, but Shion doesn't know because he is buried underneath the rubble. That's fine. Nezumi thinks it was a worthy cause if any existed, Shion had to be sacrificed for his vision to come true, fair enough. It's how the world works. Who knows if Shion is even dead, crazier things have happened, it's fine. He manages bed rest for two whole days before it becomes suffocating. Staring at the ceiling, Nezumi never noticed how cold it gets at night. Living people are so warm. There are strands of shiny white hair left on the pillow. 

When it turns out the manager didn't die in the manhunt, Nezumi goes to work at the theatre. For a few hours, Nezumi gets to become someone else and he feels relieved. With the fall of No. 6, chaos floods westblock and the audience becomes more colourful than ever. Eve performs as many shows as the manager wants under one condition, Nezumi will not sing. Sometimes Eve sees a tuft of white hair in the audience, just at the corner of his eye. But the stage lights are too blinding, his eyes can never adjust quick enough to catch the culprit.

Is Shion going to surprise me after the show with his air headed smile? "Ha, I got you good huh? Don't underestimate me, I can take care of myself." After the show, Nezumi sometimes receive flowers and trinkets, but that flash of white hair never materializes into anything more than a hallucination.

Nezumi still goes to the market, still goes to Inukashi for miscellaneous jobs, and hell, even finds Rikiga to be useful if there's enough money on the line. Life continues like clockwork, Nezumi doesn't feel anything about anything. He thinks maybe the emotional part of him disintegrated with the city, and he is finally free from those messy feelings that caused him so much inner turmoil. Nezumi wonders if he has reached a state of nirvana, but the catch 22 remains. There is no more hatred and bitterness the same way there is no happiness or pride. There is nothing at all.

Every time Nezumi meets with his two associates, and they look increasingly unsettled. Rikiga and Inukashi glance at each other with side eyed wariness, an unspoken name, like a thick, damp fog rests on the three of them, Nezumi can't find it in him to care. It wasn't hard to see how Shion exposed the hidden humanity that Nezumi tried so desperately to abandon, even if only a glimpse.You're only human. You can only do so much. Inukashi warned Nezumi the night Shion kisses him goodbye. 

Nearly a month passes and it's finally Inukashi who breaches the subject.

"Nezumi, this is going to sound uh..." This is unknown territory for them. "About Shion..."

"Shion is dead, what about him."

Inukashi's eyes widen and he scrunches his nose before tearing straight into Nezumi's invisible, bleeding wound. There was no need for pretense between a dog and a rat. "You reek of grief. It'll only go away after you let it take its course."

"Sincerest apologies, your highness. I promise to take a shower next time if you agree to do the same." Nezumi sneers.

"Nezumi I'm serious. You're in den-"

"Shion's dead, I get it. What do you want? A waterworks show?" Nezumi bites out his words, eyes glinting.

"Okay." Inukashi winces. "Rikiga and I are planning to hold a little memorial if you..."

"Waste of time." Nezumi turns his back and begins to walk away. What if he's still alive?

Inukashi says nothing.

Nezumi goes to the market place and buys cherry pie in case today was the day Shion was coming back to surprise him. He does this every time an elusive head of white hair escapes his scrutiny. Sometimes at the theatre, sometimes in the market, sometimes even in the underground room they used to live. Later that night, when Shion does not pop out from behind a bookshelf, Nezumi tries to eat the cherry pie only to realize the vendor had swindled him with a convincing illusion. It looks like cherry pie. It feels like cherry pie. It tastes like dust.

Nezumi looks for The Illiad and finds that it's been put back on the shelf, in the Classics/Mythology section arranged in alphabetical order. He is annoyed. Shion just had to clean it up and now Nezumi can't find where anything is and has to follow a shitty library system just to find that stupid book that would've been strewn on the floor next to their bed. His bed.

Later, Cravat finds a stray button that had fallen off Shions' cardigan and holds it in his front paws, squeaking to Nezumi. Now he's pissed. Stupid Shion never sewed that button back on his sweater even though it's a lot warmer without a gaping hole down the center. Stupid Shion never listened when Nezumi tried to teach him the basic tactics of survival. Why does he always have to go out and put himself in life threatening danger all the time. Why can't he have some sense of self preservation? No. 6 citizens are all like that, so spoiled and ignorant in the face of danger. After 8 whole months and Shion improved only marginally in avoiding dangerous situations, it's like he was almost drawn to trouble. Why is he like that? Always a breath away from death, doesn't he know what that does to Nezumi? 

Nezumi is furious at Shion but more so with himself for giving in to such idealistic thinking. They shouldn't have gone to the facility, Safu was already dead by the time we got there anyways. Nezumi is also not too happy with Safu. Why'd she have to get captured of all people, being attached to someone is so restraining for this exact reason. Always trying to keep someone else alive as if keeping yourself safe wasn't already enough work, especially with someone like Shion. If she didn't get caught Shion would still be alive today.

The image of Shion, with his hand outstretched and a bloody rose blooming out from his shirt, falling backwards down the garbage chute. Down, down, down... 

Shion's heart stopped before they hit the ground. Nezumi didn't get to say goodbye, he didn't get to say anything. ("Don't you ever give me a goodbye kiss again!")

I should have gone down with the correctional facility but Rikiga and Inukashi carried me out. Why did they do that? They had no right to do that. I should have died next to Shion. But instead I'm left here all alone. He remembers the conversation that happens last spring, Shion standing there with Hamlet on his shoulder. 

Whats summer here like?

I want to spend the summer here. 

We'll come back to this room, together.

Alive? Nezumi asks. 

Alive. Shion answers. 

Liar. LIAR. Making promises he could not keep, Nezumi would never break his words. (What about your promise to Karan?)

The next time he meets with Inukashi and Rikiga, Nezumi starts off cool but there is a white hot burn clawing inside his chest. The ice he wears melts and his sharp tongue is quick to dole out cutting remarks upon the slightest provocation. It was all their fault, they think too much of themselves, to act as if they know what's better for me than myself. I should have died with Shion! He yells. Rikiga looks resigned, and Inukashi, almost horrified. 

I should have died with him. I wanted to. (Do I still?)

The survivors are the one who win. SO WHY DID YOU LOSE SHION? 

Why? There will never be a good enough answer. Nezumi hates Shion for chaining him down in a way he can't bring himself to escape from. They should have never met. Nezumi would just find somewhere else to hide in the next life, he would have died in that storm and maybe that was for the best. But instead, Shion saved him in more ways than one, and Nezumi is left without answers. WHY? Nezumi can't understand why. Anger boils inside him because this is all wrong.

Was there a right way to do this? Maybe if Nezumi had gone into the chute first and Shion would climb in after him. With his back to the shooter and a super fibre cloak, that bullet would've missed his heart. Maybe if they had just walked a little faster, that guard would've passed by only after they had both escaped down the chute.

What if they hadn't spent so long gawking at those corpses on the conveyor belt, then maybe Rashi wouldn't have caught them mid way and Nezumi wouldn't have been injured. What if Shion didn't need to shoot someone in order to protect Nezumi and dirty his hands the way he did. What if Safu was alive and the three of them managed to escape and destroy the correctional facility. What if everything just went according to plan? Or if Elyrius had protected them the entire time and everything that went wrong was made right by divine intervention.

Maybe Nezumi should have just taken care of it himself. Shion had a good memory but a robotic mouse can store enough information for Nezumi to make the trip alone. It would have been much easier for him to get around without having Shion to worry about. Then maybe he wouldn't even get into all those shoot outs or take a detour to find Rou. Even if Nezumi didn't manage to make it back, at least Shion would still be alive. Probably in this room, organizing books and worrying about Nezumi. Shion should be in my place, Nezumi thinks bitterly. He can deal with the torture of being the one to survive.

What if, what if, what if. These words eat at him, Nezumi cannot help but to think of all the things that could've been done differently. If I had a time machine... Shion would still be alive if only...

This must be revenge, Nezumi thinks. Some form of higher power made aware of his dubious morals has been looking for a way to to settle the score. Nezumi couldn't think of anything more terrifying than losing Shion. Not even all the pain and cruelty in his past could induce such a fight or flight response in him, not the way Shion did when he tried to run off to the Correctional Facility alone. He was running straight to his death and Nezumi will be damned if he let Shion do it alone. 

Nezumi can't understand why Shion dies when he gets to live. The world needed more Shions and less Nezumis. 

Hey higher power, what if I promise to give bread to wide eyed children like Shion did? What if I look for the good in strangers who had none visible? If Shion lives through my actions, can I repent? Will you give him back to me?

If Shion comes back Nezumi promises himself he would drop the grudge against No. 6 for good. Or even given the chance to go back and never telling Shion about Safu in the first place. Yeah it'd be selfish, but that's what people are. Nezumi would stand by his choice if he got to make it again. If he knew the outcome. If the correctional facility must stand in exchange for you to be back by my side, I would let it. 

Hindsight is 20/20 and Nezumi couldn't help but look.

Nezumi cries after the goodbye kiss, tears rolling down his face before he could register what was happening. Nezumi cries after Shion kills another human being, it's embarrassing but he can't stop even though he tries. Nezumi does not cry when he touches Shions face to find that it's gone cold, like turning on a tap with the water shut off. If the pipes had been frozen then, that is now no longer the case, the dam bursts. Nezumi hates the taste of tears in his mouth but lately he has been drinking oceans because it tastes like the over salted soup Shion makes. Because it is punishment, because Shion is gone and not coming back. Nezumi has nothing left but memories. The gift of a memory, that's what Shion would say. 

These are not gifts, they are cinder blocks around his ankles when Nezumi was already drowning. The moments won't stop playing in his head, the ones he so desperately wants to throw away. But it's embedded into his skin like splinters. Every point of contact hurts, and when it doesn't, Nezumi can feel it. Irritated, begging to be picked at but never to be picked out.

The little underground room Nezumi has spent years living alone in is now suddenly too empty. He was a wanderer and never knew a place to be home, why should this place be different. But then Shion came and Nezumi says to Inukashi that he's going home without realizing the connotations. Inukashi hears it loud and clear. 

The underground room was not home, Shion was. How does it feel to tame a wanderer only to disappear and leave him in the desolate cold?

Nezumi stops going to work so he can stare at the coffee table from his bed. Most of his effort spent on ignoring the endless hurt flowing out his tear ducts. Maybe if I cry until I'm drained dry then it will finally stop. Nezumi stops eating and drinking and sleeping in the meanwhile. He is determined to starve this sadness to death, if that means taking the vessel along then that's just collateral damage.

Would you forget it all if you could? Shion asks him in a deprivation induced hallucination. They're in bed, floating in the ocean. Water laps at the sides of their mattress, Shion is wearing a blood stained shirt, the dream will end when they are consumed by the waves. 

No, Nezumi says even though he wants to lie and say yes. You know the final stage is acceptance, Shion says with a smile. His hair glitters in the sunlight, sometimes, if Nezumi squints, Shions' hair is every colour all at once. Tell me the truth, Nezumi.

He feels as if they are floating away. Nezumi is too exhausted to be anything other than honest. You are my humanity.

The water swells and pulls them under. Nezumi wakes up reaching out for Shion.

He finds no peace in this truth. Nezumi leaves west block to find a new place knowing nowhere will ever be home (again). He wears his loneliness around him like armour, trying to conceal the pain that still bleed out his pores. He travels for years and always keeps an eye out for a boy with snow white hair. Nezumi looks for answers and finds only threads. Shion appears to him in dreams, in a trick of the light when Nezumi stands in a crowded marketplace, in Cravat and Hamlet and Tsukyio. In hurricane storms and untouched snow. 

We'll meet again, Shion. That's a promise. 

Nezumi remains alone.  

 I will always open the balcony door for you. No matter how many times I go back, meeting you made me into who I am. Shion tells him with determination in his eyes and Nezumi can't help but wonder why. Do you really believe that? Meeting me killed you, Shion.

Well, that's okay, isn't it? I would have been a shell of a person, going through the motions, working for a faceless authority until I was deemed worthless and thrown away. But instead I got to truly live as myself, you awakened me, and I got to live by your side. For that, my answer will never change. I'm glad I met you. 

Nezumi remembers Shion's smile. The gift of a memory.  

[gracedman]

Genesis 6:8–9

But Noah found favor (grace) in the eyes of the Lord. ... Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his generation. Noah walked with God.

  Genesis 7:1

Then the Lord said to Noah, “Go into the ark, you and all your household, for I have seen that you are righteous before me in this generation.

 I have been thinking about the basis of our salvation, and what it is that allows us to rest secure in the fact that a true believer is saved once and for all of eternity. What is confusing to many people is that the once and for all justification that God makes on behalf of every believer is not declaration of his approval of our tangible character. It does not mean that God is actually pleased with our personal thought life, our words, and our actions. For justification does not change us morally or spiritually, it changes our relationship to God and heaven legally. Therefore, Paul says this:

  Romans 5:1–2

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

 When any person truly believes on the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal savior, God, the Father, declares that they are just as pure, holy, and righteous as Christ is himself before God and heaven. From then on, God deals with them on the basis of being 100% righteous in his thinking and dealings. So complete and far reaching is this legal status before God that Paul was able also able to say this about even the weakest believer:

  2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

  Romans 8:1

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

  I remember one time going to assist a pastor who had a church in a wooded area of his town. We witnessed to the teens who hung out in these woods and some of them received Christ as their personal savior. They were truly responsive to the gospel. The only problem we had was with the pastor of the church. He could not see enough of a change in their lives to warrant our interest in them or to welcome them to his church meetings or fellowship. He weaponized this verse from 2 Corinthians 5 and made it measuring stick to exclude these new believers. Instead of using it as source of hope for their potential. To be in Christ is first a legal or a positional change in the believer’s life. This group of teens became believers, were righteous before God, but had lots of problems that needed to be dealt with by God. But from the moment of their conversion that verse was true about their status before God and their access to God’s great grace for their lives. So we started a new ministry for these teens apart from this church and its pastor. Noah too was such a person. “Noah was a righteous man,” “the Lord said to Noah, “Go into the ark, you and all your household, for I have seen that you are righteous before me in this generation.” The Hebrew word for “righteous” here means this: “persons whose conduct will be checked and found irreproachable, innocent, in the right.” Of course, Noah’s conduct and character were not any better than those around him. Before the absolute justice required by God’s holiness, he was absolutely guilty. He was just as lost as those who drowned were apart from the grace of God and the work of God on his behalf. Without divine intervention Noah would have died in the flood waters of judgment along with everyone else. But he found grace in the eyes of the Lord.

Moses says other things about Noah. Beyond being righteous before God, he was also “blameless in his generation.” This refers to work of God in his heart beyond justification. The Psalmist had this to say about this work:

  Psalm 18:31–32

For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? — the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless.

 The psalmist details the work of God in his life:

  Psalm 18:20–23

The Lord dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me. For I have kept the ways of the Lord, and have not wickedly departed from my God. For all his rules were before me, and his statutes I did not put away from me. I was blameless before him, and I kept myself from my guilt.

 Noah kept short accounts with God and others. He dealt with the details in his life under the direction of the spirit and word of God in his life. Faults were handled properly. Sin was confessed and others could sense that he was fair and honest in his dealings with them. Before men, he was blameless. Noah’s personal life was consistent with his justification before God. This did not save him. But it is a definite result of his true salvation.

 Finally, Moses said that “Noah walked with God.” This refers to level of intimacy Noah had with his God. God and Noah were always together. Enjoying and responding to each other’s thoughts and emotions. Perhaps we could say these things about Noah:

  Malachi 2:6

True instruction was in his mouth, and no wrong was found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and he turned many from iniquity.

 Maybe it is just my personal hope that as the flood waters were rising that many remembered things Noah had shared and turned to God in their final moments of life. I would like to think so.

 Lord Jesus, as we look at Noah, we find many things that are similar to ourselves. Help us to be strengthened and blameless as well as righteous before you. Show us how to walk with you in the details of our lives. Bring the true salvation to all who will call on your name for it. Amen!!!