#its okay I was going to run this sample overnight anyways

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

the problem with being bad at mental math and also having my job is that today I saw that a machine would take 360min to equilibrate before I could use it and I was like "oh cool that's only 3 hours, idk why I felt like I had to start this at 9am, I better work on getting my samples ready" and then I went to check on it at 11am when the samples were ready and it wasn't even halfway done so I kind of shrugged and went to a meeting, still not done post meeting, OH WAIT 360min is actually six hours.

fuck.

[the-wintershade]

never believing in things unseen

pairing: loki x reader summary: you don’t need anyone but he still needs you wc: 2.9k+ genre: a little angsty, not much else

Mirage: mini series  —  01 | 02 | ... |

“We think he’s after the Tesseract.” A holographic projection hummed a shifting blue in front of you. “And we don’t know why.” 

It seemed pretty easy to you. The Tesseract could guarantee infinite access to space and anything it encapsulates. It would mean control over galaxies upon galaxies of life, minerals, and whatever else he demes useful. Noteworthy. 

It was power, a desire rooted in the very essence of humanity, passed from bloodline to bloodline in a never ending spiral. Of course some were better than others in resisting its pull but everyone had to face the hunger of power at some point. 

But Loki wasn’t human. He was a god. And gods always wanted fame, power, adoration. 

It made sense. 

“Agent?” Your eyes shifted back into focus to find fury’s dark eyes watching you intently. You felt bare, like he could see the events of last night written all over your eyes. Clearing your throat, you took a breath.

“If we consider the idea that he’s a god, and inferior to his brother, it could explain his greed for the Tesseract.” You splayed your hand on the table and propped yourself up on it. 

He scanned your features again and you tried as best as you could to keep from shaking. You’d passed many simulations that included lying, heavily, but nothing unnerved you quite as much as fury’s stare — even with only one eye. 

He crossed his arms and turned towards you. “I’m listening.” 

You brought his attention to the Tesseract. “We don’t really understand the full potential of this object — and, to be frank, I’m not sure we ever will — but it’s likely he does. That makes it valuable to him. He has information we don’t which makes him valuable to us.” 

He frowned and he peered at you. “Your point?” 

You took a shaky breath, still surprised at you were about to do. 

“How about we offer a trade?” 

Fury visibly bristled at the idea and took a step back. “That’s not an option.” His tone, clipped and firm, deterred you a bit, but you needed him to at least listen. 

“Look, no one said anything about actually giving him what he wants — it’d be like giving the nuclear arsenal to a power hungry terrorist — but a disguised trade. We give him something that mimics the Tesseract, it’s glow, feeling, sound, and in order to exchange ownership of it, he has to tell us what the Tesseract is.” 

You watched his eyes shift, speculatory satisfaction flickering across them. You’d seen that look before; it always signaled how impressed he was. 

“Say we go along with this plan of yours, what makes you think he’ll fall for it?” He peered over to you, expectant. 

“I don’t think he will.” A flash of shock appeared in his features. “But if we give him something else to focus on, he’ll fold. All it takes is a distraction. Something to draw his attention away from the slight flaws in the fake Tesseract enough that he’ll cave. It’s like dreaming. You’ll never truly realize how strange it was until you’ve awoken.” You finish with what you hope is seen as reassurance. 

He seems pleased and his arms unfold. “Okay, officer. What will the distraction be?” 

You breathe before looking him in the eye. “Me.” 

…

It wasn’t your finest moment. But it could be doable. 

Loki’s promise still echoed in the recesses of your mind. The words raised initial anger but eventually traveled further than mere surface emotions and buried themselves in a place meant for very delicate feelings. 

It was a place you hid because who likes wearing their heart on their sleeve to let it get crushed over and over again?

But to win Loki, to win his open honesty, you’d have to make him believe that his words unlocked something in you. 

Which they didn’t. You were a thinker and a force of nature; you don’t have time for silly feelings and emotional attachments. 

Hurricanes never stopped turning because their favorite bar was in the path of their destruction. Brilliant scientists worked better alone and lived in blissful solitude. 

You didn't need someone in your life. 

You never did. 

…

You knew the click of those heels. You also knew the probability that you probably wouldn’t hear the end of this. 

“Well, well, very inspiring.” She popped her bubblegum and took a seat next to you at the bar. “Another hero, ready to save the day. Life on the line.”

You smiled into your glass of whiskey. “Good to see you too, Nat.” 

She ordered her usual — brandy, neat — before turning to you, smiling. “So, how’s my favorite fledgling spy doing? Kiss anyone yet? I hear it’s very effective.”

“Unfortunately, no.” You sighed as you set your glass down on the polished mahogany. “I think I’ll leave the part of the temptress up to you. You’re better at it anyway.” 

She watched you as she drank. “You do realize, if you take this mission, you’ll be doing the same thing I am.” She ordered another drink. “The only exception: you likely won’t have to kill him.”

You swallowed, slightly uncomfortable. Her eyes, always analyzing and observing, no doubt picked up in the slight shift in your demeanor. 

Natasha and you collaborated on a few projects here and there, nothing too exciting or noteworthy. But over the years you’d developed a friendship and, something you allowed yourself, trust. 

You chuckled, trying to cover a bit of your worry. “I’ll try not to aim for the chest, or head, for that matter.” 

“I get it.” Your eyes snapped to her only to find her brandy swirling in small circles in its glass. “I know that you don’t like the thought of killing someone and I know you have disguised emotions.” She smirked. “I know that this is going to be much harder for you because of it.” She took a sip of her liquor, giving you a minute to mull over what she said. 

“But I don’t have any feelings for him.” You protested, leaning over to her as she drank. 

She snorted. “Of course you do. When I even brought up the notion of killing him you immediately stiffened.” She gently put a hand on your shoulder. “But that’s okay. It’s alright to acknowledge your emotions, it gives you power over them. But you have to keep the end goal in mind.”

She kicked back the rest of her drink and a question you wanted to ask her for a while bubbled to your lips. 

“How do you do it? Work past the emotional thing?” 

She paused and sighed. “I stick to the plan. Even when it hurts.”

…

 Overnighters sucked.

Especially when the only work you had left you feeling more tired than awake. It felt as if every word you read sucked more and more energy out of you. You were fairly certain there was a fine line of red rimming your eyes and the pouches underneath them were puffy and irritated.

But the longer it took you to return to your house the better. Loki would be prowling around your building again — as he always did every couple of days — and, without its inhabitant, he would begin to question, to worry.

He’d never seen you not available to him. You were always there, always available. The truth was you liked routine, you liked predictability, and because he was the least predictable being on the planet, that was confusing for you: and insanely irritating.

Natasha couldn’t have been right. You didn’t have feelings for him, far from it. It was annoyance and his childish disposition that bothered you when it concerned him. Feelings were never involved and would never be involved. 

Besides, if those feelings came along you wouldn’t know them anyway.

You let out a groan as your head fell to your desk and onto your crossed arms. This wasn’t going to be easy and you knew you couldn’t change the way you acted as soon as he showed up. You hated admitting his intelligence but he was smart, really smart. 

A slight change of attitude would tip him off to your intentions. 

Besides, this was only pretend. This thing you were going to do wasn’t real; this was all imaginary. How you would convince him off the authenticity, you had no idea.

But maybe you could start with his idea of falling for him, slowly and gradually, and make him believe his witty charm was actually attractive. 

Tricking him in the end though would be your best reward. Then he could finally leave and get away from you. And then your life could return to as normal as possible. 

No distractions. 

No tricks. 

No deception. 

And definitely no men breaking in at god knows when in the morning. 

…

Your clothes cling to your skin and rivets of cold, wet rain slid down the sides of your neck.

In all fairness, you had no clue it would rain. But you were always prepared, your father always made sure of that. 

You could see your black umbrella in the car underneath the seat as if you were staring right at it as you jogged down the street, arms crossed, hands digging into your biceps. 

But what better a damsel in distress than a freezing cold, slightly sick one. One that let her walls slide down for a moment, an instant, before shielding herself again. 

Didn’t he want to play the role of a noble knight, fierce protector? Wasn’t that his goal, to make you feel as though you needed him as much as he needed you? 

He would get his sampling. 

Slightly coughing and ringing wet, you slipped through the apartment doors. Just as you turned on the light, you heard the sound of a window seal popping and feet on the floor. 

“Can’t I have just one second? One! To myself before you come running into my…” you couldn’t recall a time pure worry stood openly on his face and your complaint died on your lips. 

His eyes, opened and slightly blue, conveyed fear and he seemed to walk to you in a slight daze. His fingertips felt like liquid fire as he gently stroked your face, moving your wet hair out of it. 

“Where have you been?” He mumbled, deeply. Your brain turned off for a second and you started to lean into his gentle touch. Think. You snapped out of it and turned away. 

Kicking your shoes off, you brushed past him and laid your things down on your couch. Just as you’d moved past the island of your kitchen, he was right in front of it, pressing you into it. 

His nose hovered near your forehead and you felt your body heat respond to the closeness of him. “Don’t run away. I’ve only just begun to see the full picture.” His wall appeared again, the wittiness a deflector for your lack of response. 

Loki made a good habit of using his charm and wit to cover up his concern. His open display of it at your door was new, but you couldn’t entertain it yet. 

He holds your face between his hands, rubbing his thumbs soothingly across your cheeks. They feel soft but tough and strong and you try to keep reminding yourself about the mission. 

“You have to take better care of yourself, you’ll catch a cold.” He takes a towel from the counter and starts to gently rub your hair. His eyes are still concerned but arrogance crept in and slowly you see his wall starting to harden, to take shape. 

You feel his fingers acutely, as if they’re actually on your scalp and no separated by a towel. It almost feels as if they burn. 

His finger covered towels press into your head and move around, collecting the beads of rainwater lying in your hair. You let him have his moment, relaxing slightly, then you slide the towel out of his hands and do it on your own. 

You can’t appear to let your guard down completely. This is only step one in a long process. 

He sighs and traps you with his arms, a smirk covering his face. “What took you so long? And why are you drenched? It’s a bit out of the ordinary to see you so unprepared.” 

Tilting over slightly, your fingers nimbly gather your hair into the towel and with a twist, your hair sits in a cotton plop on your head. It gives you something to do as you try to think of a response. He lets you walk away as you turn from him and move towards the kitchen sink. 

You could say you forgot it but he would know you were lying. You could say you were in a hurry to get home, but that would bring its own set of problems and concerns requiring sets of lies to cover — much too risky. 

If you could somehow make him believe it was an emotional issue, that might work. 

He wants to believe he can solve your enigma. 

“I needed the walk.” You turn to him and find electricity in his gaze. It’s unnerving; it makes it hard to focus. “I…wanted a walk in the rain.” 

He looks unconvinced but you hold your ground. If you’re going to lie, you’re going to do this right. “That seems to be out of the ordinary for you.” His footsteps remind you of the shackles on the ghost of Christmas past. They clang together, a metallic ringing of imminent doom. 

“Yeah, well…” you lean against the counter, palms down and try to keep your voice calm but make it waver. The more angst you can create, the better. “Things haven’t been easy lately. They’ve been...nevermind.” 

You move away and there is no surprise when you’re trapped against the counter again. “Ah-ah-ah, not so fast.” He smiles down at you, satisfied and triumphant. Then his eyes shift, worry coloring them again. “What’s happened?” 

You create a forced laugh as if you’re trying to make light out of a difficult situation. “It’s nothing, really. Nothing I can’t handle. I really don’t want to get into it right now.” You try to escape his restraints, but his arms don’t move and they now move up to your arms. 

His gaze deepens and he draws yours up to his as he slightly squeezes your forearms. “You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone else, swear it.” 

You smile, half-fake, half-real. As much as you want to believe him, you know who he is. Just as he only lets you see what he wants you to see, you’ve been controlling his perception of you the whole time he’s been here. 

This is a game for two. 

This is a battle of the mind, not of the heart. 

You’re pretty sure his care isn’t totally sincere, that there’s some ulterior motive; you expect it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be standing here badgering you about an issue in Loki fashion if there wasn’t something else on his mind. 

“What are you really here for, Loki?” His smile drops a bit and you giggle, finally seeing victory. You know he’s been controlling what you see; now he knows too. 

His smile returns at your giggle but only with half the perfection it contained before. “To check on you.” 

You ignored the small flutter in your stomach and focused on the facts. The facts would protect you. The facts would never lie to you. The facts would keep you safe. 

You smiled again, tilting it to appear slightly saddened, your eyes drooping. Removing your arm from his hand, you reach up to his face and touch it like it could break. “If only that were true.” You mold your voice to sound sad, hurt. 

His barrier is breaking, you can see it in his eyes. As he opens his mouth, you turn away and trod toward your bedroom. “But that’s what I’m here for. You didn’t come home till late and you're drenched, you're never this unprepared. This isn’t like you.” 

You don’t respond and just keep moving. He hates it when you don’t respond. 

Soon enough — you even have to suppress a smile — he’s in front of you. “Say something. Please.” 

You have to stop because he blocks your path but you stare at his boots, looking despondent. 

He tilts your chin up. “Say something.” He whispers in an open plea. “Tell me how you’re feeling.” His eyes explore your face but you keep yours straight, attempting to look far away. 

When you do speak, it’s a real question, one playing around in your mind for a while. “Do you just come here for information?” Your eyes slide over to his and he watches you with sadness and pain. “Is that all I am to you?” 

“No,” he breathes out. He reaches out and pulls your foreheads together. “No, that’s not all that you are.” He sighs and tries to speak again “I-”

You sigh and move away from him. “No, that’s okay. You don’t have to force yourself. I only see what you want me to. I get it.” You move around to your bedroom and closed the door just as he called out your name. 

You'd only noticed now how cold your clothes are. You’d only just noticed the salt mixing in with rain droplets on your cheeks. 

[chuffyfan87]

Hiding. Part 81d

“Mama?” Emily whispered again.

"Mama's here princess."

“Was sick.” Emily whispered.

"Its ok, you're going to be OK." Duffy whispered, stroking her daughter's cheek with her free hand.

Emily nodded sadly.

"I need to stay here but daddy will go with you, OK?"

Emily nodded and closed her eyes, she was tired. “Mama?”

"Yes princess?"

“Love you.”

"I love you too sweetheart, you're going to be OK. Get some rest and everything will be OK."

“Teddy?”

"Hang on." Duffy looked over to Charlie. "Is it on the bed?"

Charlie picked up the teddy and nodded, “He’s here.”

Emily clutched the teddy tightly after taking it from her father's outstreched hand.

"Keep me updated please." Duffy whispered.

“Of course I will.” He whispered and kissed her cheek. Charlie soon left with Emily and they went to the hospital.

Not long after they left the youngest two boys woke up. Oliver was back to his usual energetic self, running his mum ragged. She was very agitated, however, waiting for Charlie to call.

Charlie called about ninety minutes later.

Peter went to answer the phone but his mum snatched it from his hand before he could speak.

"Charlie?!"

“Em’s fine. She’s talking the doctor's ears off.”

"There's no long term damage?"

“No. No she’s fine, they’re keeping her in overnight for observation but they don’t believe there’s going to be any long term damage.”

"OK." Duffy mumbled before bursting into tears.

“Hey, Hey. What’s with the tears babe?”

"I..." She cleared her throat. "When the phone rang, I was convinced..." Her words were swallowed by more sobs.

“Oh babe. Do you want to talk to Em?”

"Can I?" She sniffed, trying to compose herself.

“Of course.” There was chatter on the other end of the phone before a little voice giggled down the phone. “Mama!”

"Oh baby it's so good to hear your voice."

“Mama, the doctor says I’m being really brave.”

"You've always been a very brave girl princess."

“I got to use a stet...stetoscope. My heart was going boom, boom, boom.”

"Oh wow, I bet that was fun. Did you get to try it out on anyone else?"

“On daddy. His heart goes boom, boom too.”

"That's good to know. You can keep an eye on him for me."

“I will Mama.”

"Good girl."

“Daddy says I have to stay in hospital at night time.” Emily sighed.

"That's right. It's just for one night though. You'll be home again before you know it."

“But I don’t want to stay here.” Emily groaned. “It smells funny.”

"I know Emmy. I don't like it much either."

“Silly Emmy getting sick.” Emily giggled softly.

"You weren't the only one princess."

“Nope. Everyone got sick. Even you and daddy.”

"Yeh, it wasn't fun was it?"

“No mama, wasn’t fun at all.”

"But we'll all be better soon."

“Yep!” Emily smiled, “Bye bye mama. Love you.”

"I love you too princess. Give daddy a big kiss from me."

“I will.” Charlie took the phone back from Emily, “Are you okay?” He asked.

"I'm fine." Duffy replied a little too quickly.

“Baby, no you’re not. Talk to me?”

"Its nothing. I need to go sort out the kids."

“Ok. I love you. Give the kids a kiss from me.”

"I will. Love you." Duffy replied before hanging up the phone.

The lingering effects of the virus and varying stages of recovery that the children were in meant that Duffy barely slept a wink despite Peter doing his best to help her as much as she'd let him. By the time Charlie arrived home the next day with Emily Duffy was exhausted to the point of near collapse.

He noticed instantly and insisted that she went to bed, and he’d wake her if he needed her.

She reluctantly agreed and trudged her way up the stairs.

"You'll have to teach me your trick dad, I've been trying for the last few hours to get her to go have a nap." Peter sighed.

“I don’t have a trick. I’m just glad she said yes because I don’t know what I’d have done if she told me to get lost.” Charlie replied.

"Oh she told me that several times already." Peter grumbled.

Emily wandered off to go play with her sisters.

“Emmy!!” The twins hugged their sister tightly when she wandered into the living room.

“Peter?”

"Hmm?" Peter replied sullenly.

Charlie didn’t say anything before hugging his eldest tightly. “Thank you.”

"S'ok." Peter shrugged. "I couldn't just let mum run herself totally into the ground could I?"

“No, thank you for saving Em.”

"I just did what I could remember from that first aid course you and mum insisted we do."

“Have you ever had to use it before on anyone?”

"Not like that. I helped a mate who sliced his hand in woodwork a couple of years ago but that's it."

“I’m proud of you.”

Peter blushed, looking awkwardly at his shoes.

“You never know, you still might follow me and your mum into the medical profession.”

"Maybe. I think I'd prefer research over being a nurse though."

“You want to go into research?” Charlie smiled brightly. “That’s amazing!”

"The careers adviser at the college suggested it as an idea."

“What kind of research? Medical research?”

"Creating computer tools and software to help research scientists."

“Go for it!” Charlie encouraged. They had smart kids, Charlie thought, definitely got their brains from Duffy.

Peter's face lit up with enthusiasm. "There's loads of studies going on into different diseases and it would help them analyse data and make breakthroughs sooner if they had better software to use. But I guess you know that anyway..." He finished lamely.

“I don’t actually, why don’t you tell me more?” Charlie asked.

"Well computers are way faster than human brains so they can look at loads of different samples and spot patterns in a matter of hours that would take someone like us years to find. But the computers can be even better, you've just got to teach them to be."

“And you want to go into research to help update computer systems so we’re able to do that?”

"Computers are the future dad! Soon there'll be loads of jobs that won't need people to do them, there'll be robots and computers to do them instead."

“You’re right about that. Good job your mum and I aren’t far off retirement age, be a robot to do our job in the near future.”

"Or you could just sit chilling in your office while the robot nurses do your bidding?" Peter chuckled.

“I do that anyway. It’s your mum who does my bidding for me.” Charlie laughed. Louis ran into the hall and past Charlie and Peter chasing Oli, who was in a state of undress, again.

"I won't ask how you get her to do your bidding." Peter chuckled as he watched his younger brothers go running past.

“Good idea.”

Since moving into the house and having his own space, Louis had calmed down massively in mood. “Oli!” He laughed shaking his head at his brother.

Peter sniggered as his dad went to follow the toddler. Normal service had returned to the Fairhead household!

[professor-hiddles]

One and Only pt.2

pairing: peter parker x reader

word count: 3.9k

warnings: super minor mentions of death, post-breakup brooding & again, cute lil peter

pt.1

Your hospital visit was nothing out of the ordinary, the E.R. staff knew you by name at this point. After playing sports your whole life, breaking bones here and there, you’re bound to end up in a hospital at one point or another. The last time you were there, it was a fractured wrist from falling during soccer practice. Your doctor told you to take it easy, but ‘easy’ wasn’t in your vocabulary.

Your doctor, Dr. Collins, decided it would be best if you stayed overnight, just so they could watch for any potential internal bleeding or other complications. This sounded absolutely ridiculous to you, but understandable to your father.

“Honey, its only one night. I’m sure you’ll survive. Anyway, I gotta go, I have to pick up your brother before work. I’m working the night shift today, but call if you need anything, I love you,” your dad said, kissing you on the forehead and walking out. Now, it was just you and your thoughts left in the room.

[P.P.] Hey, Y/N, how’s the hospital?

You smiled at the text, happy that someone actually cared enough to text you.

[Y/N] eh, could have been worse, but nothing I haven’t seen before lol the food still sucks, and my dad left so i’m a little lonely at the moment

[P.P.] What if I told u I was on my way there? I might bring food too if ur nice lol

[Y/N] PLEASE DO I’LL LOVE U FOREVER PETER

Just as you put your phone down, there was a soft knock on your door. Your head snapped up, to find Peter standing there, pizza box and teddy bear in hand. A wide smile formed on your face, and you beckoned for him to come in.

“Peter! You brought food!” You threw an arm around him, careful not to further agitate your already hurting ribcage.

He chuckled, opening the box and handing you a slice. “Thought you might want some company. I was actually on my way up when I texted you, and then I saw the gift shop, and this little guy was just calling my name,” he said, handing you the bear.

“Now I wont be lonely! Also, I don’t think this counts as our date, so I’d be more than willing to go out with you as soon as I’m out of here,” you said, smile still planted on your face.

He smiled, knowing that the both of you subconsciously counted this as a date, but neither cared to admit it. He grabbed your hand, squeezing it a bit.

“That would be awesome, Y/N. So maybe we should start brainstorming? Like ideas for the date, you know?” He almost looked nervous, though you doubted that this was his first actual date. You nodded your head, pulling a piece of paper from your backpack that your dad left. ‘Do some homework, Y/N. Keep your mind on track.’

Even in the hospital you couldn’t catch a break.

“Alright, so, what do you want to do? Movies, dinner, hang out; what style of date do you fancy, Mr. Parker?” You joked, smiling. The gears were turning in his head, trying to think of places he liked.

“Okay, well there is this one spot, right in the middle of Central Park, there’s a huge-ass rock that I like to lay on and look at the stars, but I get it if its too far for you. I know you  sometimes have to watch your brother, so if you want to stay closer to home, I’m sure I could think of somewh—“ You put a hand over his mouth to stop his rambling.

“Peter, that sounds perfect. It really doesn’t matter if its a kind of far, I can always get my neighbor to watch my brother. If it’s somewhere you recommend, I’m sure I’ll love it. Now, when do you want to go?” You chewed on the end of the pen, heart fluttering at the thought of actually going on a date with him.

“How’s Friday? I could swing by around 7? You know, if you feel good enough, with your cracked rib and all.” He chuckled a little under his breath, at the small spider-man pun he made. You didn’t seem to catch it, which was a small relief for him. 

You nodded, setting the date in your calendar. “You’ve got yourself a date, now hopefully I can convince my dad to let me go. He’s too protective sometimes, you know?” Peter laughed, thinking of his Aunt May, and how protective she was. His phone then buzzed with an important message from Tony Stark, signaling it was time for him to leave.

“Yeah, I completely understand. Speaking of protective family, I gotta get going. My Aunt May would kill me if she knew I wasn’t at decathlon practice right now,” he said, watching for your reaction. Your face did fall a bit, but you understood why he had to go.

“Don’t miss me too much, Parker. Text me when you get home though, so I know you’re safe, ok?” He nodded his head, giving you a quick hug and a kiss on the head before making his way out.

Once you were alone, you looked at the small bear that he bought for you. You noticed it was dressed like Spider-man, which made you laugh a bit.

“Guess its just me and you now, Spidey. Hope you like ‘How I met Your Mother,’ ‘cause thats what I’m putting on.” Your hand reached for the remote, and you settled into the hospital bed, with a slice of pizza and the bear.

The next morning, you were woken up to doctors and nurses clamoring around your room. You rubbed your eyes, confused as to what was going on. Your father was there, arguing with the doctor, who apparently wanted to keep you there for another night.

“Oh, good, you’re awake. How do you feel? Any pain? Nausea? Vomiting?” The doctor was moving you around, getting your heartbeat, checking the wounded area, looking very frazzled.

“No, I feel absolutely fine. Great, in fact. Why is everyone so antsy? Did something happen while I was sleeping?” You were incredibly confused, no one wanted to tell you anything.

“Sweetpea, this might sound strange, but the doctors told me that somehow, your rib healed itself while you were sleeping. Something that should have taken at least a few weeks to heal, miraculously happened overnight. They want to keep you for further observation, but I don’t want you to be an experiment,” your father had a comforting hand on your shoulder, but your mind was struggling to grasp what had just been told to you.

Your first instinct was to poke the rib, for whatever reason. No pain. Your eyebrows furrowed, more puzzled than ever. How is this possible?

“Your daughter is a medical mystery to us, right now, Mr. Y/L/N. With your permission, we would like to take a blood sample, to see if theres maybe something strange going on within her,” the doctor said to your father, who had a nervous hand running through his hair.

“No. Absolutely not. If she’s healed, then I’m taking her home. She has school, after all,” he said, gathering your things. Dr. Collins was trying to get him to stop for a moment, but your father wasn’t having it.

“Sir, I really don’t think thats the best thing to do right now. If we can figure out what exactly is going on, we could potentially help so many people,” the doctor said, trying to convince him. Your father still refused, he didn’t want them poking and prodding at you, and since you were still a minor, you didn’t have much of a say.

“Like I said, absolutely not. If she want’s to do this when she’s eighteen, thats going to be her decision. But while she’s under my protection, I’m going to have to say no,” He signed the discharge papers, and you were out.

It was a bit irrational, but you knew why your father said no. Your mother died in the same hospital three years ago, after a gunshot to the abdomen. She had lost too much blood, and the doctors couldn’t do anything. Your father blamed the doctors and the hospital, so he was reluctant to even take you for minor injuries.

You decided not to break the awkward silence in the car, so instead you took out your phone and texted Peter.

[Y/N] guess whatttttt

[P.P.] what????

[Y/N] i got discharged!! i still have to go to school though :((

[P.P.] its only 7:30am how are you out so soon?? i was sure they would keep you at least until noon

[P.P.] also yikes @ the school thing

[Y/N] apparently my bones healed overnight its super weird

[Y/N] OMG WAIT AM I A SUPERHERO

[Y/N] SHIT I COULD BE LIKE SPIDERGIRL OR SOMETHING

[Y/N] brb trying to shoot webs rn

[Y/N] catch me as the next member of the avengers bb

[P.P.] im sure spiderman would love to have you as his sidekick

[Y/N] LISTEN BUDDY I AM NOT A SIDEKICK

[Y/N] if either one of us had to be a sidekick its you peter parkour

[P.P.] keep telling yourself that lol

[P.P.] wait did you just call me parkour

[Y/N] yep i did meanie

You slipped your phone into your pocket chuckling when your dad pulled up in front of your house.

“Go take a quick shower and change your clothes, Y/N. I gotta have you at school for third period,” he said, chuckling at your groan.

“Do I have to go? Its not like anyone would miss me, dad,” you said, giving your best puppy dog eyes. He almost fell for it, but shook his head at the last second, telling you that you had to go.

You trudged into the house, dreading going to school. Another groan escaped your lips as you realized that you had practice today, and since your rib was healed, you couldn’t use that as an excuse. You took your sweet time getting ready, much to your fathers chagrin. You were finally dressed and ready to go an hour later, your dad shaking his head, because it shouldn’t take that long for someone to shower and put on a hoodie with sweats.

You rode the whole car ride with your hood up, headphones in. When your dad finally pulled up in front of the school, you left the car reluctantly, backpack hanging off one shoulder.

Your hood was still up, and you sat down in third period physics with a sigh. Formulas littered the board, a barely audible groan escaped, as Peter looked over from the seat next you, chuckling. Your teacher was going on about angular velocity at the moment, but everything went in one ear and out the other.

“You look like hell, spider-girl,” he said, trying to contain a laugh. You shot a glare his way, tightening your hood around your face. You slumped further down in your chair, wishing you were invisible, or sleeping.

“I feel like it too, parkour. I’d rather be back at the hospital being tested, dude. Anything would be better than physics right now,” you said, pouting and turning back to the notes on the board.

The rest of the day went by rather slowly, until you got to practice. You jogged onto the field, greeting the rest of your team and your coach. She told you to take it easy, but you had no intention of actually listening.

The drill that was currently going on was weaving, your favorite. The ball had started at you, and was going smoothly until the two girls with you decided only to pass to each other. This frustrated you, as you knew they just wanted to pity you for being hurt the day prior.

You let out an angry groan, charging after the ball even though it wasn’t your turn. If they don’t want to play fair, we won’t.

You dribbled the ball down the field, people were yelling at you, but you drowned it out. Your team’s goalie looked more than ready to block your shot, but all it took was a fake left and shot right to score on her.

Adrenaline pumped through you as you smiled, walking back up the field. You heard someone cheering for you on the sidelines, surprised to see Peter in the stands. Your smile grew wider, and you waved to him, acknowledging his cheering.

You could have sworn you heard him yell ‘thats my girl’ but you just shook it off, deducing that your ears were playing tricks on you.

“Y/L/N, what the hell was that? You just screwed up that whole drill! Not cool, Y/N,” one of the girls, Casey Jones, said, looking aggravated. You scoffed, ready to fight back, but your coach spoke up for you.

“No, she did exactly what I would have done. You two weren’t passing to her. This drill is about team work, not exclusion. So, if I’m not mistaken, Casey, you and Adriana are the ones who are ‘not cool’. You two can sit on the sidelines and watch until you figure out how to work as a team,” your coach said, earning glares from the two girls as they walked to the side, but ultimately they stopped talking.

“Thanks, coach,” you said, giving her a small, grateful smile. She clapped you on the back, turning away.

“Its no big deal, really. I’m proud of you for taking charge in that drill, you executed that shot perfectly, Y/N, and apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so,” she said, nodding her head toward Peter.

“Oh, we’re not together, coach. Its..complicated,” you said, before taking a sip of your water.

“I saw him with you at the nurse’s office the other day, you two looked pretty cozy. But, if you say its nothing, then I guess I have to believe it. All I’m gonna say is that you could have fooled me,” and with that, your coach turned and walked back onto the field, leaving you standing there, smiling like an idiot.

You looked back over, looking to see if he was still there. He wasn’t in the stands anymore, he was talking to Liz Toomes. Of course, I should have known. Every negative possibility ran through your head in that moment.

You jogged off the field, trying to figure out why Liz was the center of his attention. He had been so flirty with you, even going to the lengths of setting up a date, and you couldn’t help but wonder if his intentions with you were simply platonic. You knew he had a ‘crush’ on Liz last year, he was always staring at her, he even took her to homecoming! It hurt you, you had really thought that he was over her.

Granted, you did have a boyfriend last year, that was the only reason for why Peter went after Liz. Of course, you didn’t know that. He was seeking comfort, since you couldn’t be his at the time.

Your boyfriend had broken up with you over the summer, and it made you sad to say the least. The two of you were in love, or so you thought. He was cheating on you with a girl on your team, forcing you to question the integrity of the whole relationship.

Even when he broke up with you, it was done maliciously, he never wanted you to date anyone else. He decided that it would be best to break your spirit, not just your heart. In turn, you moped around for all of August, barely wanting to go outside. 

You barely even got out of bed. Your family had no idea what to do, your brother would try to comfort you, by bringing in little lego creations. Your father bought endless pints of ice cream, it was a wonder how you didn’t weigh 300 pounds by the end of summer. He had never been on the receiving end of a breakup, he had no idea how to get you through it.

He decided it might help to call his old college friend, May Parker. Unfortunately, she couldn’t make it, so she sent Peter instead, knowing that the two of you went to school together (and because he had a crush on you, but he didn’t know that she knew).

Of course, Peter was over the moon that he got to see you, but also heartbroken at the sight of your sadness. He broke things off with Liz that same week, but the two were still friends. He did everything that he could to make you feel better, he even sat through your favorite Disney movies with you.

It was perfect, but only lasted for a few days. You both had obligations, Peter with his Stark Internship, and you with your volunteer work. The two of you didn’t see each other again until school, and that brings us to the current time.

After seeing Peter with Liz, you went to the locker room, muttering under your breath. You slammed your locker closed, the girls around you jumping at the sudden noise. You whispered a quick ‘sorry,’ and left the room. You moved through the halls of your school quickly, hood up trying not to draw any attention to yourself.

It wasn’t unlike you to be seen in the library, its where you went to cool off. You settled into a chair in the back, cracking open the first book you pulled off the shelf, which happened to be 'Norse Myths and Gods: A History.’

You loved reading about mythology and gods from all cultures, it fascinated you to every extent of the word. You opened the book to see weapons and tools, your eyes falling on one, called the Megingjörð. Apparently, it was a belt worn by Thor, God of Thunder, said to double his strengths, but current whereabouts are unknown, if it was even real.

You were shaken out of your concentration when a body plopped down in front of you, causing you to jump a bit. You looked up, eyes falling on the one person you didn’t want to see.

“Norse Gods, huh? You know Tony Stark’s met Thor? Apparently he’s a super cool dude, super buff, too,” Peter said, flipping through the book. You pulled the book out of his hands, eyes focusing back on the page.

Without looking up, you replied flatly, “Thats nice, Peter.”

You saw his face drop from your peripheral vision, and he looked down at his hands.

“Did I do something? Y/N, whats going on?” He asked, barely a whisper. Your heart nearly broke at the sight, he looked genuinely upset.

“No, nothing. Its my fault for thinking that someone would actually want to be with me. But I guess I don’t really deserve to be happy,” you said, trying to focus on the book instead of looking at him. He grabbed your hand, desperately trying to figure out why you would say such a thing.

“Y/N, why would you think that? Did someone say something to you? ‘Cause if they did I’ll beat them up, I swear,” He said, puffing his chest outward, you caught your lips turning upward.

“No one had to say anything, Peter. I saw you talking to Liz earlier, so if you want, you can go talk to her and let me wallow in my pity party,” you took your hand from his, putting your attention back on the page of the book.

He looked around, trying to get a sense of what was going on, and then it clicked. “Y/N, can you look at me please? Are you jealous of Liz?” he said, pushing the book down with a finger.

You huffed, closing the book and looking dead at him. “What do you think?”

“I think that you have absolutely no reason to be jealous. She’s in my calculus class, and needed the notes from todays lesson. And if we’re really talking about deserving things right now, I honestly think you deserve the world. Come on, I have something to show you,” He grabbed your hand, pulling you up. You barely had time to grab your bag off the floor, he was pulling you to the door.

He took you in front of a set of lockers, nothing particularly out of the ordinary. “Okay, you have to promise not to tell anyone about what I’m about to show you. I need you to swear, Y/N,” he was looking you in the eye, holding a pinky out for you to swear on.

You grabbed his pinky with yours, rolling your eyes. “Alright, so whats so special about this set of lockers?”

A grin crossed his features, as he looked from you to the lockers. He bent down, and with seemingly no effort at all, he picked up the set of lockers, pulling out a small bottle.

“Dude, what the hell?! How did you just pick up those lockers? They have to weigh like a thousand pounds!”

He didn’t answer the question, instead just tossing you the bottle of a very sticky substance. “Uh, Peter, I know we’re close and all, but I don’t know if we’re this close.”

Peter looked confused for a moment, before disgust and amusement both appeared on his face at the same time. “Ugh, Y/N, thats so gross. Why would I keep that in a bottle?”

You shrugged, looking between the bottle and the boy in front of you. “So what is it?”

“This, is my Stark Internship. This stuff is the webbing that Spider-man uses. I made it myself,” he said, looking awfully proud of his creation.

“Wait, theres no way. Why would Tony Stark ask a sixteen year old to make Spider-man’s web fluid?” you asked, placing one hand on your hip and looking closely at the bottle.

“It’s a story for another day. Look, I can prove to you that this is the web fluid. Do you trust me?” he said, holding out a hand, which you reluctantly took.

“I guess so, why? How do you plan on proving it?” he again neglected to answer the question, taking the bottle from your hand and pulling you away from the school. You walked with him until the two of you reached an alleyway, your skepticism only growing.

He placed his bag down on the floor, reaching into it. He dug around for a moment, before seemingly landing on what he was looking for. He pulled out a small contraption, it looked like a high tech bracelet of some sort.

“You pulled me all the way out here for a damn bracelet?” you asked, growing frustrated with the boy for the lack of answers you were receiving.

“Just watch, its worth it, I promise.” He said, pulling the gadget onto his wrist. He stepped away from you, aiming his hand at a fire escape that was around three stories high.

“Are you sure this isn’t dangerous, Peter? What if you fall?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. He shot you a smile, before shooting his web at the fire escape. It brought him up effortlessly, and he landed with such grace that it seemed like he’d done this a million times over.

You stood there, mouth agape, as the realization dawned on you.

Holy shit, Peter Parker is Spider-man.

[silencedlittlebirdy]

Conquering a World: Part 5

“And how would you describe yourself?” Traaiillooonn asked me. Curse him. I tried to think of exactly what I would say when describing myself. I hated that I had to go last. Everyone but Ava had been pretty honest. At least, it seemed that way. Only time would really tell how honest they were. “Introverted,” I said to start, then thought for a second. “Obsessive, distractable, tempermental, creative, sarcastic, violent…um…” I looked to the ceiling to try and think of more adjectives. “Fearful, a little rebellious, unfocused, awkward, blunt—sometimes past the point of acceptability, I can get loud and I cry when I get mad. I hate working on group projects, not because of the project but because I have to deal with people. I chose a degree in Forestry and another in Botany because I didn’t think a career in writing or music would pan out for me. I don’t like people messing with my stuff, or my life. I hate abrupt change. I abhor small talk, it’s just a way to avoid real conversations and real topics. You betray me, then I will never trust you again. Not completely. I’m a pretty good judge of character. I’m stubborn and no one can dissuade me from my beliefs. I believe what I believe. Which extends to believing that it might be fun to rebel against the Pqncallaxis Dominion, but…since they’re our only source of supplies…it wouldn’t exactly be wise to do so. Tempting, but not a practical use of our time. Just like this is taking away from not only my lunch, but also my work.” Someone chortled, but hid it. Traaiillooonn looked a little frozen. “Blunt, you said?” Chad looked like he was choking back laughter. “I would never have imagined from what you said,” Traaiillooonn said as he looked down at his recording device. Snarky little beast. “Huh, so sarcasm isn’t just a human trait.” I smirked at the table, then crinkled my nose as I looked at my cold lunch. I wasn’t hungry. Not anymore. But if the snake was still there… “If we’re done here, I need to confer with you, Fay. That animal that died in the pool, it apparently doesn’t chew it’s food much. I found a couple intact leaves. Maybe we can learn what’s edible from the wildlife.” Patricia stood up. I nodded. “Works for me. Though, I’m not sure if the serpentine thing that was in my workstation is still there or not.” Andrew pumped a fist and jumped out of his chair. “I’m so there!” Patricia smiled and shook her head. “Let’s go then. Traaiillooonn, you are finished with us?” He hesitated (yes, we were sure he was a he—we asked). “I do need to gather all of your descriptions of each other, but given the way you all work together I suppose it would be more appealing for all of you to talk about your peers when they aren’t around to listen. Ava advised me that humans generally are able to put up with people they don’t like to work towards a greater good.” Ava shrugged. Mike Findlay laughed. “Oh, I can’t even remember how many workers I had that I couldn’t stand personality wise, but who did excellent work.” Traaiillooonn was vibrating, with a sort of humming-purring deal. I folded my arms. “Looonn, this is your dream job, isn’t it? Studying us. Being around us. Learning our ways.” He caught one of his antennai and played with it like I would play with my hair. “Mayhaps, Fay. Mayhaps.” I smiled, “Well, at least one of us is happy. Meet at the lab?” I directed the question to Patricia. She nodded. Andrew hurried over to me. “Snake?” “Possibly,” I responded, leading the way out the door and over to my yard. My lab was basically a tent with a couple tables, and a chemistry set, and a kerosene burner. It was sparse for now, there were more supplies coming with that shipment that was ordered two weeks ago. Andrew went in the tent first. “Sweeet!” I peeked in, then shuddered a bit and backed out. “Don’t die.” “It totally doesn’t see me as a predator. This is so cool!” He sounded thrilled. He came out with the serpentine thing, holding it behind the head and by the body, being careful to keep its clawed front feet aware from himself. I pasted on a reluctant smile. He laughed. “I’ll release it into the…are we calling that forest?” I nodded. “That’s where I’ll release it then. How’s your compass working here? Is there a magnetic north?” “Yeah, seems to be. Well, it seems to keep a direction anyway. I’m still testing it, doing my best to map it all out. I’m not accurate, by far, but it’s better than nothing.” I felt my compass in my pocket, making sure it was still there. I had one other, not nearly as accurate as this one, but it pointed north. Mostly. “Well, I better release this guy. I’ll let you get to work.” “Thanks, Andy.” “No problem.” He walked off with the serpent thing. I went into my tent and cleaned up some of the disorder. One of the fruits had been knocked to the ground, and was the equivalent of bruised. I picked it up and set it on the table, then licked the remaining juice off of my finger. Delicious. Then my eyes widened. Idiot. Imbecile. Stupid. I grabbed my benedryl and the other stuff that I would have to take if it turned out to be poisonous, and sat in a chair. Patricia came in with some samples. “Hey, I would have thought you would be hard at work.” “I tasted the juice of a fruit, and now I’m waiting to see if it kills me,” I told her. Her eyes widened. “Why did you do that?” “A moment of stupidity.” “Did it at least taste okay?” “Fantastic, it would make a great dessert. You know, providing it’s not poisonous.” I started cutting the fruit open to study it. “Shall I spread these samples out on the empty table?” “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll be over in a second.” At least there was no tingling sensation on my tongue, that was a good sign. There were no signs of allergic reaction so far. “So, should I be concerned that you’re going to die?” “Possibly,” I replied. “I’ll go see Bea soon.” “What about now?” I shook my head. “I didn’t injest that much and there should be a biological response to any toxins before they kill me. Even then, what is there to lose?” “That’s a bleak outlook.” “Do you have a better one? We’re never getting home. I never even got to explore romantic relationships. I’ve been on two dates my entire life, and technically the one shouldn’t count.” I went over to examine her samples. She was quiet for a while. “Why didn’t you date more?” “Never met any guys, especially not ones that were interested in me. Too quiet for them. I was always too quiet. Or too loud. Too shy. Too fat. Not as pretty as my sister. Everybody loves my sister. Even my friends. Not that I’m bitter. I miss her. I miss my whole family. I’m talking crazy, I’m sorry.” “We’re stranded on some planet, far away from just about everything we know and love. I think you’re just a little more realistic than the rest of us. We’re all still hoping that we will go back to earth. Can’t really tell the kids otherwise. Not right now. Not with food so slim.” There was that too. I looked at the fruit. “I’m going to do something stupid.” “Please don’t,” She objected, but it was too late. I took a bite of the fruit. Dang it tasted good. She grabbed my wrist. “Spit it out, Fay. Now.” I swallowed. “Too late.” “Fay, this is nothing to mess with. Come on, we’re going to Beatrice and Dr. McNeal. Now.” She pulled me out of the tent and away. Everyone else was still chatting in the Findlay’s house. Even Andrew was back. They all freaked when Patricia told them what I had done. I let them berate me, and test me and push me onto a cot in the room dubbed the ‘medical ward’. I let them take blood samples and ask me a million questions about how I was feeling. They even made me sleep there overnight. Traaiillooonn was the first visitor in the morning. “Why would you eat something when you know not whether it will kill you?” “Why would they bring an uneven number of people? And why would they not pay attention to gender and age? Sure, they did the language check, but still. It’s foolish of them to think that we can do everything they need done.” “Can you not reproduce with any of the males?” “There are these things that humans live by, called morals, which say you don’t just reproduce with any male because some are married. Humans mate for life—or they intend to. But we will not just mate with any male that’s put in front of us. Not if we have any sense whatsoever.” “Humans are odd.” “Anything that is foreign to an individual can be perceived as odd or strange or disgusting. It’s all a matter of opinion and circumstance.” “You are what you call grumpy?” I sighed. “Yes. I’m sorry, Traaiillooonn.” “It is understandable.” I smiled. “But I think that the fruit I ate is safe to eat. It’s a start.” “And this excites you?” “We’re running out of food, yes this excites me. A little hubbub, but everything is fine and dandy and I’m ready to continue my tests.” I got my shoes on. “It’s early enough that I should be able to slip out before Patricia comes and forces me to stay for observation.” “And what makes you think I won’t stop you?” Chad asked from the doorway. I shrugged. “Someone has to make sure I survive the trip back to that fruit tree. I need to test it more.” “You’re insane,” He told me, but he was sort of laughing as he did. “Traaiillooonn, Chad is the specimen that you’ll want to talk to about reproduction. After all, he’s the eligible male.” Traaiillooonn’s antennae twitched and he made a sort of amused sound. Chad snorted. “And you’re not an eligible female?” I wrinkled my nose. “I’ll probably die. I’m likely to try something else after I get frustrated with how slowly the testing goes. Besides, I don’t really want to think about that right now. Because technically, you have three choices. Ava, me, or none of the above. You could wait for Juliet to be old enough, but I’m pretty sure your brother has dibs and if he doesn’t, Kevin does.” “I just wonder,” Traaiillooonn started, “why your gardens aren’t enough to sustain you all?” “We had a small garden and some cornstalks from the fields around our house. They were picked clean and while the green beans are still producing some and the cucumbers still have a couple that are growing, we won’t have anything more until the squashes ripen and we have to feed thirteen people. The Ledfords had a bigger one, but we only got one harvest from the one section before one of those weird giant creatures squashed all of the plants.” “And our garden was all herbs. The McNeals didn’t have a garden at all. We’re lucky we have what we have, but we need to supplement it soon. The chickens are helpful, but we’ll want to spend more time letting the flock grow rather than causing it to dwindle.” Chad handed me my backpack. I smiled at him, then stood and put it on. “Thus, we’re going to go find more native foods. Got your gun?” “Got my gun.” He gestured behind himself with his thumb. I nodded. “Then let’s go.” He gave a little mock bow and gestured for me to lead the way. “Milady.” I rolled my eyes and did a mock curtsy. I was on a mission now. I wasn’t going to let anyone stop me. Traaiillooonn calling after me stopped me. I glanced at Chad. “This might take a while. Can you get the wagon?” He nodded and headed that way. Traaiillooonn caught up to me. “Apologies. However, my research indicates that Ava is incompatible with Chad. And the Pqncall—” “Those that shall not be named,” I interrupted. “Yes. They are concerned with the rate of reproduction. If a step toward reproduction is not taken soon, they try to force it.” “Okay, here’s what you’re going to tell them. Not only do humans respond poorly to threats, they also ensure their own survival before they even consider something as serious as mating or the result of successful mating. Got it? There won’t be any reproducing going on until we have steady food supply, we know more about this planet and until it pleases us. Which means we also need the supplies we ordered. Got it?” Traaiillooonn clicked, and hurried off with his communication device. “What did he need?” “Not him. His bosses. I gave them a mouthful. Should take them a month to chew through. Hopefully it expedites the shipment. What is with the theme these past couple of days?” “What theme?” “Mating, romance, reproduction.” I shooed a chicken back into their pen. We couldn’t afford to lose any and the dogs were still inside with Ava. “Maybe fate is trying to tell you something.” “Then it needs to paint me a sign, because hints only make me grumpy.” “I noticed,” He chuckled. I gave him a little glare. “You were pretty…honest about yourself yesterday.” “I have to live with myself. I know me.” “You made yourself sound pretty…disagreeable. Why?” “I was just being honest.” “It’s not fully you, not in my experience.” “What, you don’t find me bluntly honest? Or creative? Or fearful?” “I don’t think I’ve seen you afraid, except maybe when we were getting chased by that thing and when you mentioned the serpent.” “Chad…” I shook my head. “I’m terrified. I used to be afraid of tornadoes. Now, I’m afraid that there’s going to be something here that’s worse than tornadoes. Worse than hurricanes. I’m afraid that I���m not going to be able to discern what’s safe for us to eat. I’m afraid of everything in there, because I don’t know it. I’m terrified, but I decided that first day that I wasn’t going to be stopped by my fears. And so far I’ve stuck to it, but I can’t sleep. I haven’t really eaten, and I’m afraid of what’s going to happen in the next couple of days.” “Me too,” He whispered, looking at the ground. “Do you realize how much everyone has been looking to you?” “Me? That’s not a good idea. At all.” “You’re not afraid to say things as they are. You notice…everything. You stay quiet and absorb all the information then in five minutes you summarize everything in blunt terms and bring us all to reality. That first day, after you left the group, after you touched that creature, the only thing anyone could say was that you were the bravest person in this group. It took us all a couple a of days to reach your level of bravery.” “I’m not brave.” “Yeah, you are. The definition of courage, of bravery, is to be afraid but not be hindered by that fear. You’re the bravest person on this planet.” I stared at him. “Why are telling me this?” “Because you need to hear it.” He shrugged. I stared for a while longer, then pivoted and headed for our entry point. “Right. Well. Fruit won’t pick and test itself.” I heard him sigh behind me. But I wasn’t about to look back. I was afraid of what I’d see.

@riptidethepen 

@thisnewjoe I’m not currently cross-posting this anywhere. I’m not even sure where I would cross post it. Suggestions welcome.

Thoughts and suggestions for the story?

[beadeegee]

Japan: A First-Timer's Guide and Itinerary to Tokyo

iWe are down to our last Japanese city - Tokyo! I've already blogged about my explorations in Osaka and Kyoto day tour so let me now take you to the wildest city of Japan. I've allotted 3 days in Tokyo and I'm already telling you that it's not enough!  (Warning: This is a long and a photo dump post but in a very friendly tone because I know Tokyo can be quite intimidating.)

HOW TO GO TO TOKYO

 You can read my previous post Japan: Airfare, Visa, Budget & Travel Guide for some basic things you need to know before going to Tokyo, or basically Japan.

via plane: You can reach Tokyo via Haneda or Narita Airport. Haneda Airport is more convenient since it is already in Tokyo. (Only Philippine Airlines has a direct flight to Haneda) But most of the international flights are directed to Narita Airport which is 1.5 hours away from Tokyo.

via train: If you will enter Japan in Osaka or Fukuoka, or Sapporo, you can go to Tokyo by their shinkansen (bullet train).

via bus: Shinkansen can be quite expensive. So if you're on a budget, try Willer overnight bus.

The spaghetti subway system of Tokyo

GOING AROUND IN TOKYO

Taxis, of course, are the most efficient way but it is as well the most expensive way to get around the city. Bus routes in another country are complicated to know so it's always better to take the train.

I never had a hard time planning our transportation in Osaka and Kyoto but I went crazy in Tokyo. Their subway system is so tangled up with each other that even the locals get lost. Imagine that! There is a dozen of subway companies running around Tokyo but the big three are the JR East, Toei and Tokyo Metro. You also need to keep in mind that Tokyo has different train types. You might skip your station if you rode an express train or take a lot of your time if you rode a local train with 10+ stops on your destination.

Local - Just like our MRT-LRT, this stops at all stations.

Rapid - Trains skip some stations.

Express - Trains skip more stations than the rapid.

Limited Express - Trains that stop at major stations.

Since we have a JR Pass and my head is hurting by just looking the subway route map, I decided to stick with the JR Yamanote Line. This line is a loop that goes around Tokyo which is very famous for tourist (and even locals) who wants to go around the city. I'll stick with this train line in my whole Tokyo guide, okay? (NOTE: We had a JR Pass because we went to Osaka and Kyoto too. If you're planning to see only Tokyo, I advise you not to get one. )

WHAT TO SEE AND DO IN TOKYO

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="1600"] I compiled all the famous places you can do and visit on each ward in Tokyo. Artworks are not mine. (C) to the owner[/caption]

FIRST STOP: SHIBUYA

We rented an Airbnb in Shibuya and it's the best ward in Tokyo to stay in. It got food, entertainment, and shopping malls. Plus, it's freaking wild at night, people (and wink wink specials) are everywhere that I didn't get scared to walk alone at 12 midnight! There's also a lot of drunk kids but they're harmless.

The best things to do here: visit Hachiko monument and cross the Shibuya crossing until you canl. If you love shopping, there's one whole building of H&M, Forever21, and Daiso here. And of course, the famous Shibuya 109. I've also tried Ichiran here.

SECOND STOP: HARAJUKU

Harajuku is said to be the kawaii capital of Tokyo. This is the ward where Japanese teenage culture and fashion trends are much visible. If you're a fan of cute things and Lolita fashion, you should check out Takeshita Street. So hello kikay girls, you'll 100% enjoy this street but be sure to brace yourself of the crowd.

But if you think you're too old for this teenager things and crowd, you can go check out Meiji Shrine just behind Harajuku Station. You'll be transported back to Kyoto with all its green trees and temples and if you're lucky enough, you can witness a Shinto wedding here. Be sure not to wedding crash.

THIRD STOP: SHINJUKU

Shinjuku is another ward that is good to rent a place to stay. It has the busiest train station. All most dozen of railway and subway lines stops at Shinjuku and it is also a major stop for overnight buses. (In short para siyang Cubao) Shinjuku is divided into two: the east side is more of entertainment and shopping; while the west side is more of business and skyscrapers.

Best things to do here are the free aerial view of Shinjuku in Tokyo Metropolitan Building, Godzilla head in Hotel Gracery, Robot Cafe and Don Quijote for pasalubongs.

FOURTH STOP: UENO  & ASAKUSA

Ueno is the home of the famous park in Tokyo - the Ueno Park! The park is crowded during the cherry blossom and autumn foliage season because of the hundred trees around.  We just walked around Ueno Park enjoying the street performers. You can see Ueno zoo and Tokyo national museum as well since it's inside the park.

If you're already in Ueno, you shouldn't miss Asakusa! You have to transfer to Ginza line (with the orange G symbol) from JR Ueno Station then go down at Asakusa Station. Asakusa has the famous Buddhist temple Sensoji. You can make wishes here or shop Japanese souvenirs at Nakamise street. I bought my Japan snow globe here. This place is flocked with tourist at 10 am so I advised you to see it as early as 7 am or just go back at night like what I did.

Just near Sensoji temple is the Tokyo Sky Tree. We decided to just walk since we want to cross the Sumida river and do some photo walk. At the Tokyo Sky Tree, we didn't go up since a ticket cost around P1,000 and we are 5. Good thing, Akiko told me that there's a free observation deck in the adjacent building of Tokyo Sky Tree. It's not as high but the view is already good anyway.

FIFTH STOP: AKIHABARA

(c) http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3003.html

I didn't get the chance to roam around Akihabara since I'm distracted by my Fujifilm camera. Akihabara is known to be the electronic town of Tokyo but today it also the center of Japan's otaku culture.  So if you're one anime lover, better not miss this.

Best things to do here are shop or window shop at Yodobashi Camera, eat at maid cafes, visit Tokyo anime center and Gundam Cafe!

You'll easily see this building near the exit of JR Akihabara Station. I bought my Fujifilm XA2 (with two kit lens) for P23K.

SIXTH STOP: CENTRAL TOKYO

We didn't get the chance to visit central Tokyo. And I promise to go back for this someday. Central Tokyo is said to be the heart of business and politics of Japan. It is in my itinerary so I'm gonna share it anyway.

Best places to see here are the Tokyo Imperial Palace, Tsukiji Market, Ginza and Tokyo Tower of course. You can also transfer to JR Keiyo Line to be able to go to Tokyo Disney Resort.

In need of some palace, head to Imperial Palace which is just a walking distance from Tokyo Station. (c) photo not mine[ If you're looking for the best sushis in town, you better head in Tsukiji Fish Market! (c) photo not mine Tokyo Disney Resort is consists of two theme park: Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo Disney Sea. (c)

SEVENTH STOP: ODAIBA

Odaiba is a man-made island in Tokyo Bay that is turned into a futuristic town. From Shimbashi (Yamanote Line) we rode a Yurikamome, an automated, elevated train! I was so amazed how advanced it is. But it turned out that there's still a lot more of futuristic things in Odaiba (like the robot that is so much like a human already!).

You shouldn't miss the Gundam statue and buy Gundams inside Diver City for it is a lot cheaper. You can visit Palette Town as well if you're into shopping and entertainment. But be sure to witness the sunset with the view of the Rainbow Bridge. We waited until the Rainbow bridge, Fuji TV Building and Tokyo Tower are all lit. I swear it's one of the best views.

HOW MUCH WILL IT COST ME?

Almost all that I mentioned here are free except of course if you planned to dine in the cafes or shop till you drop in the malls mentioned. Here's a sample of an itinerary with the estimated budget in Tokyo.

*Given this itinerary & your hotel is in Shibuya Day 1: West Tokyo ( Shibuya, Harajuku, Shinjuku) Day 2: North Tokyo (Ueno, Asakusa, Akihabara) Day 3: Tokyo Disneyland Resort Day 4: Central Tokyo (Imperial Palace, Tsukuji, Ginza, Odaiba & Roppongi Hills)

West Tokyo North Tokyo Disneyland Central Tokyo Transportation 420 yen  880 yen 1300 yen  1950 yen Entrance fee free  1030 yen (skytree*)  7400 yen  free Food (*estimated) 2500 yen  2500 yen  2500 yen  2500 yen

TOTAL= 22,980 yen (approx. 10,500PHP)

So there are the famous things you can do it Tokyo. Have you been to Tokyo? Or going to anytime soon? We can talk in the comment section below! :)

[andylocksmithtipsntricks]

Owlet Smart Sock Review

Overall Rating

4.5/5

Mobile notifications

Heart rate and oxygen tracking

Financing options

View on Amazon

Quick Review

Owlet’s smart sock is the answer to parental paranoia about whether or not your baby’s doing okay—especially overnight and during nap time. This innovative baby health monitor tracks oxygen levels, heart rate, and sleep patterns. And all it takes to get that valuable data is a little sock that wraps around your baby’s foot.

One of our safety experts, Scott, tested the Owlet Smart Sock 2 with his daughter, Isla, for several weeks. He gauged how easy it is to work with, if the tracking is accurate, and whether or not his girlie would keep it on her foot. See the results of his test below—and our recommendations for using the Owlet with your little one.

“For me, with my first one, in the middle of the night I would be like, ‘Okay, I’m just going to go in there and make sure that he’s breathing.’ And they’re so still. I’d just put my hand on their chest to make sure, but try not to wake them up. That’s one thing that the Owlet does really, really well.”

Scott, dad and product tester (his baby pictured below)

A class action lawsuit was filed against Owlet in 2019. The complaint “alleges that the company markets the Smart Sock as safe and providing peace of mind for parents, but it points out that false alarms, burns, and the failure to register actual problem incidents do not have that effect.” Owlet has not recalled the Smart Sock or Smart Sock 2. SafeWise has found only positive reports from parents and testers, but that is a small sample of people using the Smart Sock. We recommend that parents fully investigate any product before using it with their infant or child.

How We Evaluated the Owlet Smart Sock

While Scott started testing the product out with his daughter, the rest of us got to work researching everything we could find about the Owlet Smart Sock. We looked at the history of the product (we tested the Smart Sock 2.0), the pricing, customer feedback, and expert reviews. I also conducted an interview with parents who relied on the sock for the life of their infant. You can find more details about how we review products on our methodology page.

Owlet Pricing and Specifications

Owlet Smart Sock 2 Price $299.99 Financing Starting at $25/month Technical Requirements Wi-Fi connection Guarantees 45-day Peace of Mind Guarantee Warranty 1 year View on Amazon

How the Owlet Smart Sock Stacks Up

When my kids were babies, I hovered obsessively over their cradles looking for signs of life. It may sound morbid, but I’ve never met a parent who didn’t do the same thing at least once. Let’s face it—when you become a parent, those wee ones take over. And you want to do everything you can to make sure they stay in charge for a long, long time.

Enter the Owlet Smart Sock. This ingenious device does all the obsessive hovering for you. And it actually knows what to look for. If I’d had the Owlet, I’d have gotten a lot more (well, a bit more) sleep in those early months with my new baby. And everything about the Owlet sock is designed with your baby’s needs in mind, from the lullaby alert to the soft, adjustable construction of the sock itself.

Our tester, Scott, put the Owlet through its paces and came out a big fan. But because he used it with his second child, he felt it wasn’t as life changing as it could have been. For parents who aren’t newbies, the smart sock makes the most sense if there are health concerns in play—especially with such a big price tag.

“The price is high, so with me having a child that was in all regards healthy, I didn’t necessarily feel a need for it. But I also tested it on my second child. If this were my first child, and if I had really understood how the Owlet works, I may have purchased it. And it likely would have been worth the price for my well-being.”

Scott, dad and product tester

Price and Contract

The good news is there’s no monthly subscription or long-term contract required with the Owlet Smart Sock, but the bad news is a steep up-front price. The Owlet costs around $300, which is pricey for a baby monitor that doesn’t include video or audio. But that’s just a one-time cost, and Owlet offers no-interest financing options if you’d rather spread out the payment. Plus, you don’t have to purchase any extra equipment—everything you need comes in the box.

Owlet Financing Options Monthly Payment Repayment Period $25 12 months $50 6 months $100 3 months

The company also includes its 45-day Peace of Mind Guarantee with every Owlet Smart Sock purchase. That means if you don’t love it within the first 45 days, you can return it for a full refund, no questions asked. And if you’re a bargain shopper, Owlet sells refurbished smart socks for about $100 less than a brand new setup. Refurbished sensors and base stations have to pass a 13-point inspection before they can be sold. And you won’t get used socks—the refurbished kit includes three brand-new socks.

Pros

One-time purchase

No contracts

Financing available

Peace of Mind guarantee

Cons

Expensive price tag

Tech and Equipment

There is some assembly required. The Owlet sensor isn’t in the sock when you unpack the system, but it’s easy to slip it in. It comes disassembled so you can use the right-sized sock—you’re going to have to change it when the baby grows anyway, so it’s helpful to learn how to install it from the start.

It’s apparent that Owlet spent a lot of time considering the needs of infants and new parents. The base station communicates primarily with light—you won’t find blaring sirens or piercing beeps here. It has five different status notifications that use different colors of pulsing, blinking, flashing, and static light to let you know what’s going on with your baby. And when it does make noise, the Owlet base station plays a lullaby.

You can also get notifications on your smartphone with the Owlet app. The app was easy for Scott to use and understand (and this is a guy who’s in a constant battle with his Spotify app).

What’s in the Box

3 Owlet socks (sizes 0–18 mos.)

Sensor

Base station

Charging cords

Setup instructions

Quick reference guide

Warranty

Owlet Socks

This adjustable sock holds the sensor and wraps around your baby’s foot to take heart and oxygen readings.

Smart Sock Sensor

This pulse oximeter tracks oxygen levels and heart rate.

Base Station

The base station communicates with the sensor and app to collect data and send alerts.

You can use the Owlet app to check live readings from your baby when they’re wearing the sock. But if you want historical oxygen and heart rate information you need to download the Connected Care app. We think it’s worth it to have two apps, though. One of the most helpful things in the Connected Care app is the trended sleep data. You can see exactly what’s going on when your baby’s in dreamland, which is helpful if you’re in the midst of sleep training or if you’re trying to decide how and when naps are most effective.

Pros

Unpacks easily

Keeps baby comfy

Includes 3 sock sizes

Provides live data

Reports health and sleep history

Cons

Requires some assembly

Uses a different app to track historical health and sleep data

Features and Usability

Overall the Owlet Smart Sock is easy to use and delivers what it promises. Setup is fairly simple, and the mobile app is easy to navigate, even for a sleep-deprived parent. Best of all, Owlet’s notifications are gentle instead of jarring. Owlet helps both you and your infant get better sleep—you because you’re not worried, and the baby because you’re not disrupting their slumber to make sure they’re okay. And it’s nice to know that if Owlet sends an alert for something nonemergency like a low battery, it won’t act like your smoke alarm.

Owlet Setup and Use

Getting the smart sock up and running was “doable” though not strictly easy, according to our tester, and Owlet has numerous resources to make it that way.

“One thing that’s nice is that I was already feeling really hesitant when I opened the box, but then they have these guides. And you immediately open up the app on your phone, and the app gives you step-by-step instructions and a video. So it was very doable —I don’t know if easy is the right word, but I was pleased with the instructions.”

Scott, dad and tester

Like nearly all smart products, the Owlet uses your home Wi-Fi network to communicate among the sensor, the base station, and the app. Scott was pleased with how easy the Wi-Fi setup went.

“When I set up a lot of Wi-Fi connected things, I assume there’s going to be some errors, it usually takes a few times, but not with this. Of course I had to get the passwords for my router and my Wi-Fi network ready, but once it was connected, it worked just fine. It synced up on the first try—to my surprise.”

Scott, dad and tester

The trickiest thing about using the sock is wrangling the baby. Owlet uses pulse oximetry to monitor your baby’s heart rate and oxygen level. That’s just a scientific way to say that the sensor is taking the baby’s pulse to get the information it needs. But to take the pulse, the sensor has to be placed on the back of the baby’s pinky toe.

Whether or not this placement will be challenging depends on you and your little one. Scott and his baby girl didn’t struggle at all. In fact, he said that he was surprised by how much she didn’t react, “It was like she didn’t even know the sock was there.” But I remember my own wriggling wee ones, and I’m sure that getting things lined up correctly would have been a challenge.

Because the socks come disassembled and in three different sizes, they can seem a little complicated. But with instructions both on the socks and in the app, Scott says, “It’s pretty hard to mess it up.” While Owlet advises that most errors with the product come from the user, Scott didn’t run into any issues or alerts that he had done it wrong.

Owlet Alerts and Notifications

One of the most unique things about the Owlet is that it takes a gentle approach to alerts. As we mentioned before, there’s no clanging or screeching that would scare the heck out of parents and the baby—not to mention how it would wake everyone up.

Scott particularly liked that alerts about a low battery or connection problem (re: wiggling baby) aren’t startling. Instead of getting an alarm, the base station light turns red and it plays a lullaby. But you need to make sure to keep the base station in your sightline or you’ll miss out. If you want freedom from the base station, use the Owlet app for notifications.

Even though our test didn’t turn up any health alerts, we know a couple who relied on the Owlet when they brought their baby home from the hospital with health concerns.

“As first time parents, our lives were turned upside down when we brought our little boy home on oxygen. Stress and worry continued when it was time to transition him off of supplemental oxygen and his oxygen level monitors. At this point, we quickly began looking for options to help ease the transition.

“Purchasing an Owlet was easily the best decision we could’ve made! We tested the Owlet against our hospital grade pulse oximeter and were greatly satisfied with its accuracy. Noninvasively and conveniently monitoring his oxygen levels while he slept gave us confidence and immense peace of mind.”

Lyndsay, mom and Owlet user

Pros

Quick, simple setup

Gentle lullaby alert for errors

Excellent tutorials/instructions

Easy-to-use app

Cons

Placing sensor can be tricky

The Bottom Line

We loved the Owlet Smart Sock and we think you will too. This smart baby health monitor is what parents have needed for generations. No more obsessively watching to make sure your baby is breathing—with the Owlet all you need to do is check the app or look at the base station for a status report. For the price, we think it’s a splurge for parents who already know the drill or have an infant with no apparent health issues. The Owlet is much more applicable to first-time parents or parents of a baby with health concerns.

Pros

Easy setup

No contracts

Excellent instructions and online support

Live health data

Peace of mind

Cons

Costs a lot

Requires some assembly

Uses two apps

More Ways to Stay Safe (and Sane) With a New Baby

Smart Baby Gadgets for New Parents

Baby Proof It: A Room-by-Room Guide to Securing Your Home

Best Baby Monitors

Baby Proof Your Home With Help From These 6 Gadgets

Best Nanny Cams

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The post Owlet Smart Sock Review appeared first on SafeWise.

Article source here: Owlet Smart Sock Review

[filosofablogger]

Huh?  What are you guys doing here … you’re a day early … it’s not Monday yet!  It is?  Whoa … I’ve lost a day … I thought it was still Sunday … where did Sunday go?  Okay, well … give me just a minute … luckily, I did some baking last night, so let me see what I can rustle up …

{Pssst … Jolly!  Run down to Krispy Kreme and get Benjamin’s sprinkled donuts for me … and be quick!}

Okay, well, while I throw a few things together here, tell me all about your weekend!  Mine? One word describes it well:  H-O-T.  I cannot believe it’s August already, though!  The kids here will be going back to school in just 10 days … much as I love seeing all the kids here in da hood out having fun, I’m frankly ready to see them climb back on that big yellow bus, ‘cause they’ve been picking my flowers, and throwing their trash on my patio, and … they just need to get back to school.

Okay, I think we’ve got a few snacks and some fresh coffee now, so grab a bite and let’s find something to start the week off with a smile, okay?

Not in MY freezer …

Remember last week … or was it the week before … when we had ice cream for Jolly Monday … or was it Saturday Surprise?  Anyway … remember when I featured ice cream?  Well, here’s one ice cream you’ll never find in my freezer!  It’s made by Oscar Meyer … yeah, the people who make bologna and hot dogs … and it’s called an Ice Dog Sandwich. The sandwich, which features cookies as “buns,” contains bits of candied hot dog meat and spicy mustard ice cream.  The company said its Wienermobile will drive around Manhattan during the week of Aug. 12 to distribute free samples of the unusual dessert.

Oh, and the ‘spicy mustard ice cream’ is a creation of famed mustard-maker French’s, and will be available at select locations during the summer.  To celebrate National Mustard Day last Saturday, the “French’s Mustard Ice Cream Truck” rolled around various hot spots in New York City.  Oh, and French’s also has plans for a ‘pretzel cookie’ to serve with the mustard ice cream. 

One word:  blech  🤢

There’s a snake in my bed!

My father-in-law once told me a story.  He said that long ago, back when he and my mother-in-law were young and newly married, they lived in a little house in the mountains of Virginia.  He said that one night he had a dream that a snake had slithered across his body, then went into an open dresser drawer on the other side of the bedroom.  The next morning, he said, they got up and when he looked in that open dresser drawer, there was in fact a snake coiled in the drawer.  Now, I loved both of my in-laws dearly, but Quinter could spin a yarn, so I was never quite sure if I believed him, though he swore it to be the truth.

Last week, Melinda Major of Nashville, Tennessee, was staying overnight at the Hampton Inn Walnut Grove in Memphis, Tennessee, and when she woke on Friday morning, she said she first felt something on her arm and opened her eyes to discover a green snake slithering across her body.  She flipped the snake off of her, jumped out of bed and called the hotel’s front desk. Now, I’m not sure … I suppose it would be a bit off-putting to wake up to a snake crawling around on you, but … a little green snake is very unlikely to be of a harmful breed, likely just a little garden snake … seems to me she might have over-reacted a bit.  Still, the hotel gave her the night’s stay for free, so I guess she was happy … and they didn’t kill the snake, but led him back out into a grassy area, so the snake is likely happy.

Now that’s a mouthful!!!

I first came across this story on UPI (United Press International), and I thought it to be questionable.  I ran it by daughter Chris, my frequent Jolly Monday editor, and in her professional opinion, she agreed that it seemed a bit far-fetched, so I tabled the story.  But then, it kept popping back up in other places, reputable news outlets such as NPR, CBS News, etc.  So, I share this ‘truth is stranger than fiction’ story.

A 7-year-old boy in India had a very swollen and achy jaw. In fact, his jaw had begun swelling when he was 3 years old, but his parents felt he was too young to visit a dentist at that time.  Four years later, they finally took him to the Saveetha Dental College and Hospital in Chennai, India, where surgeons were amazed at what they found.

The boy’s condition, known as compound odontoma, is not unheard of.  It involves a “bag-like mass” in the mouth that contains teeth … extra teeth.  But what did amaze surgeons was the number of teeth they extracted from the mass … 562!!!  It took the surgeons five hours to remove all the teeth from the mass.  Each tooth, which varied in size from 1 mm to 15 mm, displayed a crown covered by enamel and with a rootlike structure.Nobody has mentioned a Guinness World Record yet, but it is said to be “the first ever case to be documented worldwide, where so many minute teeth were found in a single individual.”

I dropped in over at Phil’s Phun and found a few funny pics ‘n toons …

And of course I must finish with a cute animal video … today’s choice is Polar Bears!!!

And ‘specially for our friend Hugh …

Alright, folks, that wraps up another Jolly Monday.  I hope you all have a wonderful week, and friends … remember it’s hard times these days … share a smile with someone who’s having a hard time right now.  They will feel just a bit happier, and so will you.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa & Jolly!

Jolly Funday Monday Huh?  What are you guys doing here … you’re a day early … it’s not Monday yet! 

[shirlleycoyle]

Finding

The less said about John Menick’s deceptive and quietly devastating speculative story—which concerns, among other things, the dawning corporate enterprise of employee wellness surveillance—the better. I just hope you are as moved, uncomfortably, perhaps, by it as I was. Enjoy. -the ed

Thank you for coming in. Please have a seat.

I read your email again this morning, right before our meeting. To begin, let me say, unambiguously, that your email is appreciated. Your questions, your concerns, are important to me, as they are important to us. You have our sympathy. You have our support.

Every day, employees come to my office and sit right where you are now. There were two in here yesterday. Three the day before that. They have questions and concerns just like yours. They ask, as you did in your email, Should I have paid closer attention? They ask, Will I lose my job? Have I done something wrong?

I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. We at this company believe that, for months, maybe years, you have been broadcasting a message. A message from you to yourself. Somehow that message, and the signal that carries it, got lost. There is too much happening, too much blur and racket, for us to catch everything. That’s why we’re here. We amplify the signal. We help you hear the message.

This doubt you’re feeling, it’s normal. How did you put it in your email? Did they get it right? There’s no reason to quote from memory. I have it in my inbox. While I’m searching for it—you found our offices okay? Most employees don’t realize this building is here. We’re on Main Street, but it should be called Margin Street. The view of the river is beautiful, though, don’t you think?

Here it is, your email. Am I a false positive? you ask. You have every reason to believe your finding might be false. After all, you feel fine. You just got back from a vacation in Greece. Maybe you’re a little jetlagged, stressed, but that’s contemporary life, isn’t it? And then, one morning, you receive an email from our service. One more kilobyte of digital junk mail to delete. Attached is a PDF with the finding’s details. At the conclusion, it asks you to schedule a session with me. There’s no company information, no phone number, nothing. So, you reply. You write me an email with your concerns—very articulate, by the way—and you schedule a meeting. It’s a joke, you think, a prank from someone on the design team. It has to be.

The email from us is not a prank, I regret to say. When you joined this company, you signed up for the insurance plan. And when you signed up for the insurance plan, you automatically enrolled in our service. Automatic enrollment leads to some surprises for employees, but we believe making the program opt-out benefits everyone. You see, the more employees that enroll, the more accurate our analysis is. In only five years, we have reduced false positives to one or two per year. That is a “nine nines” success rate—ninety-nine percent, followed by a dot, followed by seven nines.

Now, I don’t want to pretend we’re infallible. Errors are rare, but not unheard of. I had someone in here last year who was puzzled by her finding, and when we reran her numbers it turns out we got it wrong. Good for her. She even made a little cash bonus out of our error.

That doesn’t help you very much, of course. You’re here and you’re concerned. Fair enough. Look, I don’t like speaking in the abstract. Abstraction doesn’t convince people of very much. I mentioned your trip to Greece just now. If you’ll authorize me, I want to take a look at your photos from Greece. Give me a second to bring them up.

Here they are. You’re in Athens on the 5th—Kolonaki, right? Then you take a ferry to Naxos for a weekend wedding, on the 8th. Then, on the 11th, you ferry back to Athens for four days. Look at that sunset. You fly home on the 15th—sadly, I bet. Two-hundred-and-eight photos total. All beautiful. I can tell you are a designer. You have quite an eye.

I’d like to look at this photograph from Naxos. Blue sky over blue sea, all softened by the humidity. The beach is rocky, secluded. The scene is quiet and isolated. Lonely. For a destination wedding, I don’t see many people. When I look closer, I see that this is true of all of the photographs. Even when you are photographing Athens, a city of more than half-a-million people, I only see walls, monuments, a stray dog, this empty street. The colors are bright, the days are sunny, but your photos are depopulated. It’s as if a super-weapon vaporized humanity, leaving only you behind.

You see where we are going with this. Sounds a little like your finding, doesn’t it? I find that when looking at an employee’s pictures, you can sometimes just see a finding. In your case, that’s definitely true. Your finding is everywhere in Greece. All over each picture. In your pictures, you can’t help being you.

But let’s slow down. Sometimes pictures are just pictures. We can’t go too far with pictures. Did the algorithm look at your pictures? Does it have eyes? Does it do a headcount at the wedding and admire the seaside?

No, it does not. The fact that your finding aligns with your photos is a coincidence. The algorithm doesn’t understand photos, not in any recognizable human sense. And we don’t have an offshore room of employees making snap judgements about your camera roll. Not at this company.

Here, in this company, we practice evidence-based medicine. Our greatest resource, like any company worth its equity, is our algorithm, and our algorithm is built on data, not on assumptions and biases. If the algorithm made a finding, it was based on our data collection, data in the petabytes, exabytes, of scale. Every day, employees like you are generating data on company servers: lat-longs, vacation photos, baby videos, work emails, text messages. Twice a day, every employee’s data is analyzed. Most of the time, findings are negative. In your case, last week, it was positive. That’s why you received the automatic email. That’s why you’re here.

We believe that data has its own way of narrating the world. We learn from data, not the other way around. In this case, it told us about you. It said, This employee is suffering from persistent depressive disorder. Even if you don’t feel depressed. Even if you feel okay today and all other days. It’s strange to think that an algorithm knows us better than we do, but that is where we are today. We should celebrate that instead of fearing it. Fear doesn’t help anybody.

This is not a judgement of you, you have to understand. We want you to know that this is routine and there is a path to recovery. I can’t discuss the finding with you—I’m only a counsellor—but one of our licensed medical professionals can go over it in more detail with you later. First, I’d like to explain your options to you.

The next step is we send you for an examination. This would require a day at the lab, run some test, blood samples and the like. You’ll fill out some questionnaires, maybe stay in the clinic overnight, if necessary. Then we’ll know better if, as you put it, you’re a false positive. Much more likely we’ll get a clearer idea of your finding. We’ll know how long this has been going on. The tests might tell us, for example, if you will respond better to medication or therapy. It’ll tell us whether we can keep you at work, or if you might be better taking a sabbatical. You’ll be surprised how clarifying these tests can be.

The other option is that you turn down treatment. We can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. If you doubt the finding, if you are feeling fine, then why put up with these tests, right? After all, you know you better than we know you. We’ve only been analyzing your data for a few years. You’ve been you for over three decades. That’s quite a head start.

One thing you should consider, though. If you turn down treatment, your premiums will go up as much as fifteen hundred dollars a month. That might be a problem, or it might not. You make a decent salary as a designer. Think about it this way. How much money would you lose if you go for treatment, and the company furloughs you? Some treatments require two, three months at home without pay. That’s fifteen hundred more in premiums versus no pay for two months. Difficult choices, I understand.

There is a third option, though. I want to run it past you, see what you think. It’s not officially sanctioned, but I’ll make you aware of it anyway. There are services that will help you—what is the right word?— scrub your data. What you do is, you install the software on your phone and on your home computer. The software, it analyzes all your data, making teensy tweaks, flipping bits here and there. You won’t see the difference, but the algorithm will. The algorithm now sees an employee doing well. Even your photos from Greece—the algorithm won’t notice any problem at all. Now all it sees, so to speak, is sunshine and clear skies.

Like I said, this is not officially sanctioned. Even so, a lot of people do it, so I hear. I can put you in touch with someone—my sister-in-law, actually—who can tell you more. It costs a little bit—four or five hundred dollars a month—but it might be worth it, considering. When you weight it against increased premiums or not being able to work for a few months, it might make sense for you.

All of this can be a lot to take in. So many options. If I choose this option, I might lose this much money, but if I choose another option, I might lose even more money. Not to mention the stress of the finding itself. That is why I am here to help you. The insurance company puts counselors like me at your disposal because it understands the complexity. Keep in mind, you don’t have to make a decision right now. Take home this literature and discuss it with your family. And please take my card. My office hours are on the back, or you can send me a message by the inter-office system. Oh, yes, I forgot. Let me add my sister-in-law’s email.

Of course, you’re welcome. On your way out, if there is someone in the waiting room you can tell them to come in? No one out there? Well, I may take my lunch break, then. It’s a nice day outside. I can’t wait for summer.

Finding syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[sunshinykittens-blog]

The Dearest Diary There Ever Was,

Let me start by apologizing that I didn’t let you in on the events of my life sooner. But let me tell you, it’s been a busy life lately. Kate’s car was “liberated” of quite a few things and then took an adventure. And I’m going to miss that damn car. It was a beauty, I tell you.

But that was later in the week. I have other news - not sure about the fact that it’s good or bad yet. But, I got a job. Or seven, actually. While Kate was given primarily office jobs and had to wear really nice clothing that she had managed to snag for a song at the local thrift store, I got to wear jeans and tees and my favorite tennies. Not that I don’t have experience working office jobs, but it seemed that people wanted me to do heavy lifting and cleaning and stuff like that. So that’s the assignments I was given.

The first day, I was given an address somewhere close to downtown that was basically helping someone who had just rented a small business that they were planning on turning into a boutique and needed muscle to move the fixtures into the building and then arrange them to their liking. It hadn’t been a hard job, but it had really given my muscles quite the workout and, even though it had only gone on for six hours, I was honestly ready to go home, take a shower and drop into bed and take a tiny coma. Sleep wasn’t going to do it that night.

The next job I got was two days later, the day that Kate’s car had taken a permanent vacation. It was another heavy lifting job, but this time it was unloading a truck when half the usual crew had called out and it was a time-sensitive load.

I was rushing to the closest subway station entrance when, as luck (though I don't know that I would call it luck, exactly) would have it, I ran, full body into someone else. Like, actually ran into that person so hard that they teetered on their feet a bit and I had had to grab at their shoulders to ensure that they had remained upright as I attempted to apologize my face off. It wasn’t the most effective apology ever as I realized who it was I had run into. I wanted to stand there and spout movie lines of his own making at him, but restrained myself to just a reference and half-whispered in mock-confession, "I'm sorry, I've recently been released from The Psycho-Neurotic Institute for the Very, Very Nervous. My reflexes aren’t quite what they used to be.” Lame, I know, but it made the man in front of me smile. And I consider that a win in the disaster that was usually these types of situations. He quietly told me it was okay that he hadn’t been watching where he was going either and that as long as I promised not to try to push any other old men down the stairs, he wouldn’t make a scene. I nodded and promised on my children’s very souls that I would learn to look around more often and he reciprocated with another smile. We then went on our respective ways - me about to miss the train that I had been running for in the first place - and still in shock that I had almost bowled down the one and only Mel Brooks.

That was, thankfully, the only human interaction accident I had managed to have that day. The boxes I was carrying near the end of my shift, however, didn’t fare as well. But at least it was only two of them and nothing had really broken, per se.

Third job was at a printing place just down the street from where we live, so it wasn’t that much of a commute. This was definitely something I had experience with in the past, so I figured there was little chance of me messing anything up. And, on the first day, that was the truth. The second day, however, was quite another story. Let me preface this bit of the story with the fact that I momentarily forgot toner was a thing. Without going into too much detail, the walk home, I looked like I had gotten into a fight with a cartoon squid and said squid had won in a most spectacular fashion. Kate met me at the downstairs door to our apartments and demanded that I all but strip before setting even the tiniest bit of a foot into the building. She had, however, been nice enough to bring me my robe and, together, we roped a kindly passerby into holding up a bed sheet for me to disrobe behind. All-in-all, far less disastrous than it could have been.

Job Number Four was at a business that specialized in shredding sensitive documents. It happened that the contract was for a very high profile client and, so, the job was overnight. We had had to sign non-disclosure agreements before even getting to enter the building proper. Then we were directed to the shredding machines. Big, lumbering, LOUD, shredding machines. Machines, that we were warned, if we weren't paying close enough attention, could take our arms off in mere seconds. We were asked to remove all of our jewelry and pull our hair back if it was longer than our shoulders. Thank goodness one of the other women had brought extra hair ties as the one I had been wearing on my wrist had snapped when I tried to put it in the tight pony I had hastily swept up on the top of my head. Four boxes into the load I had been given, they had called “lunch” and I pulled out my paper bag before securing my station and heading off to the break room with everyone else.

Two cold pizza slices (that were NOT Hawaiian! ICK!) later, it was back to the job and as I opened and started the fifth box, right under the lid was a spider. I know you know this, dearest diary, so it hardly bears repeating that the action I made when that eight-legged menace made it’s appearance was probably way more amusing to those around me than it was to me. It was also a good thing that I had tucked my tee shirt into my jeans - something that was quite odd for me to do, actually - otherwise I would have been pulled into the shredder that was humming in front of me.

After dispatching the arachnid with help from two of my temporary coworkers, I set back into the box, but not without a weary and healthy fear of what else might be lurking in its confines

The rest of the night went well though and I was able to get home in good time and Kate had even set up the coffee pot to go off a bit after I was expected home. I then showered and went to sleep, knowing I had a job only five hours from the time my head hit the pillow.

Number Five. Product Demonstrator at a Local Grocery Store. This one had a low chance of me doing anything stupid, and, as it had been pointed out by everyone I knew, I had the knack of being able to “Sell snow cones to a Yeti”, so this was the perfect temp job for me.

I had set up a wonderful demo for a some new waffle flavors that Eggo was trying out in a select market and given a small toaster oven to use. I had a little cooler full of boxes of the breakfast food and was unboxing the inner bags to save myself some time when the store manager came up to me and started a small conversation about having never seen me doing demos at his location before. I half-explained that I was new to town and that had been working with Acme Employment Agency. Over the course of talking to him, I managed to get the first round of waffles done to perfection and he sampled them before running off to his office. I was doing fairly well the whole day, noticing that the little suggestions of side items to eat with the waffles were actually helping to sell the side products as well. I was hoping that it would actually lead to more jobs like this as I felt totally in my element. And, honestly, it was like a dream right up until I ran out of stock and had to go to the back to get more. It shouldn’t have been an issue, but, I am me, so it was bound to be far more complicated than it needed to be. And, if I am being completely honest, then it wasn’t even the stock I was working with that gave me the trouble. It was one of the displays that an actual employee of the store had created. As displays went, it was spectacular to say the least. But, 24 packs of cola and I do not get along. At least not when they are stacked in impossible combinations. Never did understand why that was a thing anyway. Soup cans, I got. Those wonderfully large pyramids of simply colored cans just reminded me of all the sitcoms where they were bowled over like so many bowling pins. And, I always took a little pride in the fact that I had never reenacted that very scenario as long as I had been entering grocery stores. And, it didn’t happen this time either. No, it was, instead the packs of coke cans. And the young mother that didn’t see me coming down the aisle where both the soup cans and cola packs resided. I wasn’t doing anything that should have caused anything bad to happen, I really wasn’t. Except for maybe talking over my shoulder to a man I had almost run into with the cart because, again, being honest, he was really a delight to look at and he actually talked back to me when I said something under my breath about how good the soup tower looked and how I was not going to run into it if I could help it. And I didn’t, so we shared a slight laugh over that. But, I did manage to run into the 24 packs.

So, little bit of trivia for you. When you ram headfirst into a large tower of 24 packs of soda, the liquid equivalent of fireworks happens. And, if you are not the one to cause the spectacle, I am willing to bet that it’s very exciting. At least, that was the impression that I got from the squealing toddler that stood there clapping at the literal fountain of caramel sugar water that rivaled the time I went to see the geysers at Yosemite. All I could do was stand there and stare before looking around and catching the eyes of someone that I had met earlier that week. And those eyes were disappointed. I sighed in apology as he mouthed something about not being able to keep out of trouble. Great. The great Mel Brooks had seen me at my “best” at least twice now.

That, predictably, ended my job for the day and I, covered in the stickiest substance I currently knew to man, collected my pay and slunk out of the grocery store, head held down and wondering exactly what Kate was going to say to me.

Job six was at a local bar, hauling in supplies. It was short, but it involved me carrying stock in. Not a single bottle was broken. I mean, what do you take me for a heathen? Liquor is sacred. According to my beliefs, not one drop shall touch the earth without just cause. And none did. I think Kate was as shocked as I was to hear this news.

Which brings us to job number seven. At a family restaurant that had the promise of possibly becoming a full-time job in a field that I was more than familiar with. I showed up in the required uniform of a crisp white button down and black dress pants fifteen minutes early despite almost missing the train a second time. (But NOT running into Mel Brooks, I might proudly add.)

I arrived to find the restaurant itself a nice little cozy place that was well laid out and just felt like home. The menu itself was simple and filled with comfort food and the prices were very reasonable. It didn’t take long for me to catch onto the operational processes that were common to the place and, before long, the owner came up to me to tell me she was very impressed with my work. I smiled to myself, hoping that meant that this might, in fact, become more permanent.

It was, in fact, almost the end of the night when I spotted a familiar face once again. At this point, I almost thought that Mr. Brooks was stalking me, but that was too ludicrous even for the likes of myself, so I just smiled and thought about how good the food must be here and how awesome he must be because he had no qualms about being out and among the actual public without the fear and pretention most celebrities had.

Unfortunately, when I spotted him, I was wheeling a very heavy desert cart and lifted my hand for the briefest of hand waves and smiles before I felt the cart stop moving with an almost violent jolt. Fearing I had misjudged the distance to the wall and had crashed headlong into it in my effort to greet a man that I felt I was becoming “coincidence buddies” with, I looked up, silently cursing. And found that I wasn’t actually looking at a wall, but, rather, at a man, doubled over trying to catch his breath.

I grimaced out a quick “oopsie” and pulled the cart back a bit to help the man and issue and apology only to see who it was that I had assaulted. I tried, I really tried to not say the thing, but, my brain was unable to not say the thing and, so, I blurted out, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Mr. Broderick, the man himself, gave me a glare that might have been able to peel paint off a house had I been either a house, or painted. But I was neither and I braced myself for the harsh sound of being fired on the spot. But that didn’t happen either, so I slowly backed the cart away as if being rewound and made my way back into the kitchen to inform the owner that I might have damaged a damn national treasure. But she had seen and wasn’t really all that mad - she said she was going to go out and offer to pay for his dinner. And that it really wasn’t the worst thing that she had had happen to someone in her restaurant after all and that the worst thing that had actually happened actually involved her and that, no, we weren't talking about it thankyouverymuch. I was so glad to find a kindred spirit in her that the sigh I let out must have amused her greatly.

After going out to do damage control, she returned to let me know that he was more amused by the situation than he was angered, so it was all good. She also let me know that she would, indeed, be glad to have me back if she needed a substitute waitress, if only for the free floor show I had given the dining room. In fact, she asked if I would come back for a shift the next night.

I was standing outside waiting for the cab I had decided to splurge on when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

“You can’t manage to stay out of trouble for one moment, can you?”

I shook my head in mock-humiliation and replied. “Well, at least he didn’t land face first in the meringue pie that I had on that cart.”

The old man smiled slowly. “Well, I would have written it that way.”

It was then that the cab decided to show up and, as I turned to give the driver the “wait” signal, he was already walking away, chuckling to himself in the way that only writers can. I was honestly worried when I would run into him next.

BTW, I’ve been working at that restaurant for three days now and there hasn’t been another incident. And that brings us up to date. For now. 

May your days be as eventful as my last week or so has been,

It’s Always Sunny!

[andylocksmithtipsntricks]

Owlet Smart Sock Review

Overall Rating

4.5/5

Mobile notifications

Heart rate and oxygen tracking

Financing options

Check Price on Amazon

Quick Review

Last Updated: A day ago

A class action lawsuit has been filed against Owlet. The complaint “alleges that the company markets the Smart Sock as safe and providing peace of mind for parents, but it points out that false alarms, burns, and the failure to register actual problem incidents do not have that effect.” Owlet has not recalled the Smart Sock or Smart Sock 2. SafeWise has found only positive reports from parents and testers, but that is a small sample of people using the Smart Sock. We recommend that parents fully investigate any product before using it with their infant or child.

Owlet’s smart sock is the answer to parental paranoia about whether or not your baby’s doing okay—especially overnight and during nap time. This innovative baby health monitor tracks oxygen levels, heart rate, and sleep patterns. And all it takes to get that valuable data is a little sock that wraps around your baby’s foot.

Our safety experts fought over the chance to try the Owlet with their bambinos, and Scott was the lucky winner. He tested the Owlet Smart Sock 2 with his daughter, Isla, for several weeks to find out how easy it is to work with, if the tracking is accurate, and whether or not his girlie would keep it on her foot. See the results of his test below—and our recommendations for using the Owlet with your little one.

“For me, with my first one, in the middle of the night I would be like, ‘Okay, I’m just going to go in there and make sure that he’s breathing.’ And they’re so still. I’d just put my hand on their chest to make sure, but try not to wake them up. That’s one thing that the Owlet does really, really well.”

Scott, dad and product tester (his baby pictured below)

How We Evaluated the Owlet Smart Sock

After the big fight scene over who got to test the Owlet, one lucky Safewise safety expert took it home and tried it out on his daughter. While Scott and his wee one figured everything out, the rest of us got to work researching everything we could find about the Owlet Smart Sock. We looked at the history of the product (we tested the Smart Sock 2.0), the pricing, customer feedback, and expert reviews. I also conducted an interview with parents who relied on the sock for the life of their infant. You can find more details about how we review products on our methodology page.

Owlet Pricing and Specifications

Owlet Smart Sock 2 Price $299.99 Financing Starting at $25/month Technical Requirements Wi-Fi connection Guarantees 45-day Peace of Mind Guarantee Warranty 1 year Check Price on Amazon

How the Owlet Smart Sock Stacks Up

When my kids were babies, I hovered obsessively over their cradles looking for signs of life. It may sound morbid, but I’ve never met a parent who didn’t do the same thing at least once. Let’s face it—when you become a parent, those wee ones take over. And you want to do everything you can to make sure they stay in charge for a long, long time.

Enter the Owlet Smart Sock. This ingenious device does all the obsessive hovering for you. And it actually knows what to look for. If I’d had the Owlet, I’d have gotten a lot more (well, a bit more) sleep in those early months with my new baby. And everything about the Owlet sock is designed with your baby’s needs in mind, from the lullaby alert to the soft, adjustable construction of the sock itself.

Our tester, Scott, put the Owlet through its paces and came out a big fan. But because he used it with his second child, he felt it wasn’t as life changing as it could have been. For parents who aren’t newbies, the smart sock makes the most sense if there are health concerns in play—especially with such a big price tag.

“The price is high, so with me having a child that was in all regards healthy, I didn’t necessarily feel a need for it. But I also tested it on my second child. If this were my first child, and if I had really understood how the Owlet works, I may have purchased it. And it likely would have been worth the price for my well-being.”

Scott, dad and product tester

Price and Contract

The good news is there’s no monthly subscription or long-term contract required with the Owlet Smart Sock, but the bad news is a steep up-front price. The Owlet costs around $300, which is pricey for a baby monitor that doesn’t include video or audio. But that’s just a one-time cost, and Owlet offers no-interest financing options if you’d rather spread out the payment. Plus, you don’t have to purchase any extra equipment—everything you need comes in the box.

Owlet Financing Options Monthly Payment Repayment Period $25 12 months $50 6 months $100 3 months

The company also includes its 45-day Peace of Mind Guarantee with every Owlet Smart Sock purchase. That means if you don’t love it within the first 45 days, you can return it for a full refund, no questions asked. And if you’re a bargain shopper, Owlet sells refurbished smart socks for about $100 less than a brand new setup. Refurbished sensors and base stations have to pass a 13-point inspection before they can be sold. And you won’t get used socks—the refurbished kit includes three brand-new socks.

Pros

One-time purchase

No contracts

Financing available

Peace of Mind guarantee

Cons

Expensive price tag

Tech and Equipment

There is some assembly required. The Owlet sensor isn’t in the sock when you unpack the system, but it’s easy to slip it in. It comes disassembled so you can use the right-sized sock—you’re going to have to change it when the baby grows anyway, so it’s helpful to learn how to install it from the start.

It’s apparent that Owlet spent a lot of time considering the needs of infants and new parents. The base station communicates primarily with light—you won’t find blaring sirens or piercing beeps here. It has five different status notifications that use different colors of pulsing, blinking, flashing, and static light to let you know what’s going on with your baby. And when it does make noise, the Owlet base station plays a lullaby.

You can also get notifications on your smartphone with the Owlet app. The app was easy for Scott to use and understand (and this is a guy who’s in a constant battle with his Spotify app).

What’s in the Box

3 Owlet socks (sizes 0–18 mos.)

Sensor

Base station

Charging cords

Setup instructions

Quick reference guide

Warranty

Owlet Socks

This adjustable sock holds the sensor and wraps around your baby’s foot to take heart and oxygen readings.

Smart Sock Sensor

This pulse oximeter tracks oxygen levels and heart rate.

Base Station

The base station communicates with the sensor and app to collect data and send alerts.

You can use the Owlet app to check live readings from your baby when they’re wearing the sock. But if you want historical oxygen and heart rate information you need to download the Connected Care app. We think it’s worth it to have two apps, though. One of the most helpful things in the Connected Care app is the trended sleep data. You can see exactly what’s going on when your baby’s in dreamland, which is helpful if you’re in the midst of sleep training or if you’re trying to decide how and when naps are most effective.

Pros

Unpacks easily

Keeps baby comfy

Includes 3 sock sizes

Provides live data

Reports health and sleep history

Cons

Requires some assembly

Uses a different app to track historical health and sleep data

Features and Usability

Overall the Owlet Smart Sock is easy to use and delivers what it promises. Setup is fairly simple, and the mobile app is easy to navigate, even for a sleep-deprived parent. Best of all, Owlet’s notifications are gentle instead of jarring. Owlet helps both you and your infant get better sleep—you because you’re not worried, and the baby because you’re not disrupting their slumber to make sure they’re okay. And it’s nice to know that if Owlet sends an alert for something nonemergency like a low battery, it won’t act like your smoke alarm.

Owlet Setup and Use

Getting the smart sock up and running was “doable” though not strictly easy, according to our tester, and Owlet has numerous resources to make it that way.

“One thing that’s nice is that I was already feeling really hesitant when I opened the box, but then they have these guides. And you immediately open up the app on your phone, and the app gives you step-by-step instructions and a video. So it was very doable —I don’t know if easy is the right word, but I was pleased with the instructions.”

Scott, dad and tester

Like nearly all smart products, the Owlet uses your home Wi-Fi network to communicate among the sensor, the base station, and the app. Scott was pleased with how easy the Wi-Fi setup went.

“When I set up a lot of Wi-Fi connected things, I assume there’s going to be some errors, it usually takes a few times, but not with this. Of course I had to get the passwords for my router and my Wi-Fi network ready, but once it was connected, it worked just fine. It synced up on the first try—to my surprise.”

Scott, dad and tester

The trickiest thing about using the sock is wrangling the baby. Owlet uses pulse oximetry to monitor your baby’s heart rate and oxygen level. That’s just a scientific way to say that the sensor is taking the baby’s pulse to get the information it needs. But to take the pulse, the sensor has to be placed on the back of the baby’s pinky toe.

Whether or not this placement will be challenging depends on you and your little one. Scott and his baby girl didn’t struggle at all. In fact, he said that he was surprised by how much she didn’t react, “It was like she didn’t even know the sock was there.” But I remember my own wriggling wee ones, and I’m sure that getting things lined up correctly would have been a challenge.

Because the socks come disassembled and in three different sizes, they can seem a little complicated. But with instructions both on the socks and in the app, Scott says, “It’s pretty hard to mess it up.” While Owlet advises that most errors with the product come from the user, Scott didn’t run into any issues or alerts that he had done it wrong.

Owlet Alerts and Notifications

One of the most unique things about the Owlet is that it takes a gentle approach to alerts. As we mentioned before, there’s no clanging or screeching that would scare the heck out of parents and the baby—not to mention how it would wake everyone up.

Scott particularly liked that alerts about a low battery or connection problem (re: wiggling baby) aren’t startling. Instead of getting an alarm, the base station light turns red and it plays a lullaby. But you need to make sure to keep the base station in your sightline or you’ll miss out. If you want freedom from the base station, use the Owlet app for notifications.

Even though our test didn’t turn up any health alerts, we know a couple who relied on the Owlet when they brought their baby home from the hospital with health concerns.

“As first time parents, our lives were turned upside down when we brought our little boy home on oxygen. Stress and worry continued when it was time to transition him off of supplemental oxygen and his oxygen level monitors. At this point, we quickly began looking for options to help ease the transition.

“Purchasing an Owlet was easily the best decision we could’ve made! We tested the Owlet against our hospital grade pulse oximeter and were greatly satisfied with its accuracy. Noninvasively and conveniently monitoring his oxygen levels while he slept gave us confidence and immense peace of mind.”

Lyndsay, mom and Owlet user

Pros

Quick, simple setup

Gentle lullaby alert for errors

Excellent tutorials/instructions

Easy-to-use app

Cons

Placing sensor can be tricky

The Bottom Line

We loved the Owlet Smart Sock and we think you will too. This smart baby health monitor is what parents have needed for generations. No more obsessively watching to make sure your baby is breathing—with the Owlet all you need to do is check the app or look at the base station for a status report. For the price, we think it’s a splurge for parents who already know the drill or have an infant with no apparent health issues. The Owlet is much more applicable to first-time parents or parents of a baby with health concerns.

Pros

Easy setup

No contracts

Excellent instructions and online support

Live health data

Peace of mind

Cons

Costs a lot

Requires some assembly

Uses two apps

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