#its not my fault that you say you're so great at controlling your emotions and then i FUCKING POINT AT YOU

[scribbyizhere]

Ok um😁 yeah lets yell at me over jokes I make :)) I'm very happy my sense of humor annoys you and I feel so validated when I get screamed at meaninglessly<33

[ruhorih4ra]

Holaa! 🐏 I have finally finished editing the 8 part of this, it's quite long (compared to the others), so it probaby has more grammar mistakes since I kind of hate editing (YES I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THAT BEFORE BUT I REALLY REALLY HATE IT).

So, having said that: would you still read this Fanfic if I keep with the angst instead of moving on to the comfort were a worm?

👉🏻👈🏻 🪱

Flashbacks are written indented (this time heheh).

Also, this was not suppose to be a replaced!Au I fucking swear over all my forgotten wips, don't blame the fic, blame my writer skills JAJSJAJ so, no, Mc is not replaced. This trope is more like a ✨ misundertanding Replaced!Au ✨

Happy ending of course, I don't want to cry.

Finally, this part takes place after the little fight with Lucifer (part 6), we get to see what they did and thought.

Get out of my way 🌈

The Seven Lords of hell were hopeless, who would believe that being ageless hadn’t taught them a single damn thing about facing their emotions? It seems the safest option is to bury your feelings deep down until they come out like a grown-up angry demon.

Everyone in the house of lamentation heard your fight with Lucifer, it wouldn't be a surprise if all the shouting made its way to the castle as well.

Belphegor had remained with his face buried in the soft cow-print pillow, listening to every word with a calm he was far from feeling. When your voice broke, his fragile comfort broke too, he didn't try to lay his head again. He knew rest wouldn’t come soon.

Beelzebub was exercising, lifting weights. It wasn't unusual to hear Lucifer’s scolding, quite the opposite he dares to say. What was unfitting was hearing you scream with such anger and sadness. It brought him to a halt. As worried as he’d felt, he remained still with his arms holding the heavy weight.

While the silence filled the room and your voice faded, he felt the barbell was too much to bear, though he wasn't sure if it was the bar or the ominous silence that engulfed him.

Asmodeus absolutely hates being disturbed while painting his nails. Almost always ruins his ever perfect manicure, this time was no different. He was ready to complain to whoever was making such a fuss until he heard you. What do you mean by “forgotten about you” ? They would never do that! They love you more than their own sins! He's always pampering you with gifts and attention!

Just yesterday he had thought you would look great in the red suit he saw at the mall, he hadn't bought it tho. But what about those dramatic black shoes he saw at your favorite store! He frowned, slowly realizing he hadn't bought anything for you in quite some time. But you would never resent him for something material.

He bit his nails trying to remember the last time you both spend a full day together. Asmodeus averted his reflection in the mirror, how terrible it would be to see the truth in his own eyes.

Leviathan couldn't stop looking at the 'GAME OVER' screen in front of him. You called them a “Bunch of liars” that's not true! They love you, he loves you. You're his second player, his Henry. He looked at your empty place and wondered why you weren’t with him, why were you fighting Lucifer instead?

“My honorable Lord of Shadow, would you honor me?” You passed the controller to him, silently begging with your eyes, more than 1 hour stuck at the same level.

“Nu-uh. I must deny your request, my dear friend Henry” He said as he easily dodged an empty bottle of water. “Help me pass the level, you ass.” “I can't. This is for your own good.” But you didn’t miss the hint of doubt in his eyes.

“Pleaseee??” Leviathan tried, he really did. It's not his fault but muscle memory doing its job. “Thank you, Levi. You're the best!”

How did he even manage to win the game in less than 5 minutes?! Why are you laying your head on his shoulder?! He's going to collapse at any moment now.

“You'll always help me, right? With you, I'll never lose any game.”

He blushed just remembering. Still, your words echoed in his mind “Bunch of liars.” and the big and awful words remained on T.V.

'GAME OVER'

Will you give him another life? A second chance to win you over? Did he just lose in the stupidest way ever?

Satan arrived at HoL, accompanied by Sc. He couldn't shake the pain that had settled inside him back in the library. “I feel so abandoned.” He's surprised by his own stupidity.

How could he have treated you like that? Invalidating your feelings, it was more than simply jealousy, much more than that. You felt lonely, excluded, abandoned.

“Shut up, Satan.” “You need to rest, you are human.” You pretended to ignore him as you continued reading. “Really? I hadn't noticed. I thought I was an angel.” He chuckled and took the book from your hands.

“You are. My one and only guardian angel.” “Demons don't have guardian angels. Give me back my book.” You were tired but Satan's words were engraved on your heart. He had told you how lonely he had been feeling lately. “SHH.”

He big spoon you. Your head resting on his chest. He started reading for you. “Thanks for being here, Mc.” You shook your head, already halfway into dreamland.

“No, Satan. Thanks for letting me be here.”

“They were reading... 'How to get ride of annoying demons' heh, they want to get rid of us.” The mere thought of letting you go hurt him to the core, steals all his wrath and morphed it into pain. “Satan, don't worry. I'm sure everything's going to be alright.”

“I’d read them the instructions for getting rid of our pacts if they just let me hold them close again.” He ran a hand through his hair for the thousandth time.

“Forget it, I would read them every torture method they could use on us. Every curse, each damned echantation to hurt us.” His breathing became erratic as he fought the urge of tearing off his own hair.

“Calm down, Satan! Breathe!” Sc was nervous, she was unaware of how much of your time together she had taken. Now, she felt helpless watching the mess she had unintentionally done.

“What if they decide to leave us?! No, what if they decide to leave me?!” Satan didn’t notice his state, his demon form out. His eyes gleamed dangerously and his fangs showing.

“They won't! We'll talk, this is just a big misunderstanding, okay?” The black-haired lady was honestly terrified, how you manage to calm down seven demons was beyond her comprehension.

She was begging whoever could listen to her, that you would find in yourself the kindness to forgive these idiot demons who know nothing of emotions.

While Sc was outside, confronting a panicked Satan, Mammon was still glued to the same spot where you’d left him. As if your previous order had been for him rather than for Lucifer.

He could barely remember your words, the only thing that occupied his mind was your pained face. Your eyebrows arched to show sorrow, your eyes filled with tears. The way your mouth twisted into a broken smile as you fought back tears.

The saddest smile he had ever seen on you. But the worst of all was the shock, the shock in your eyes.

From his perspective, you looked surprised and frightened in equal measure. Did you realized something? “Mammon, it's okay, alright? Stop crying.” He narrowed his eyes, he saw Lucifer’s worried face apparently calling him but instead of his voice he heard yours.

“They don't mean it, they love you. I love you.” You held his head in your hands, giving him pecks first on his forehead and then all over his face.

“Please, say something.” Mammon had gone quiet after a slightly more violent than usual fight with his brothers, he had run to his room followed by you. His face was blank and you knew that was a bad sign.

“A scumbag and an idiot who can't do shit. A shitty big brother.” He repeated the words and you felt a lump in your throat. “That's stupid. You're none of those things” You wiped the single tear that had slipped down Mammon's cheek.

“You're so smart, very handsome.” You caressed his hair while continuing to praise him. “You are my first! The one who helped me more than anyone.”

“Lucifer saved your life. I couldn't do it, not that time or any other time.” Now his face was an actual waterfall of tears. “You saved me first. I wouldn't have survived the Devildom without a friend. You were the first to offer me your friendship. You're the Great Mammon, remember?”

Because of his tears he saw you with blurry eyes, and for a moment he was speechless. Your eyes were mesmerizing, as if someone had taken a ray of celestial light and shoved it inside them.

The words escaped without him being able to stop them. “You're gorgeous.” You blushed as soon as you heard him and quickly averted his eyes as a small smile appeared on your face. “I said that out loud? No way! It's not true! Y-you heard me wrong! I said that YOU ARE GORGEOUS! wait no-” You roar with laughter like a half-dead seal, but in Mammon’s ears it sounded heavenly and soon he joined.

“I wouldn't trade you for anything, Mammon.”

“I wouldn't trade them for anything, I wouldn't.” Mammon was crying in Lucifer's arms, clinging to him like a lost child. “I swear, Lucifer. Please do something.”

Lucifer felt useless, a complete fool. Why did he ask you such a stupid question? Was it born out of worry and anxiety? You were right, anything could have happen to you.

That's exactly what he fears the most, something or somebody hurt you and he hadn't been there to protect you. He was watching a movie instead, even when he saw you leave he hadn't tried to stop you, why?

He would have preferred you to throw a tantrum, fake everything, whatever to avoid admitting how he had failed you. How he had failed you again.

You were absolutely right, he is arrogant and stupid.

“Don't cry, Mammon. We will talk with them, they'll understand.” Mammon separated from Lucifer’s embrace, shaking his head. “They don't trust us anymore.” Lucifer remembered how you had closed your eyes when he was trying to caress you. The sudden fear in your eyes, the trembling of your legs.

He would never hurt you. Except that he has hurt you plenty of times before. Maybe his father was right all along, he wasn't meant to care and protect, only to kill and destroy.

“Who’s a good demon, hm? Who is it? You! You are a good demon!!” You pat Lucifer's head, smiling so much it almost hurts.

He'd only shared a bottle of wine that he had bought in the human world a long time ago. Who would have thought that you would end up like this? Happily giggling like a toddler.

Lucifer was ashamed and, much to his surprise, amused. “You're bolder than usual, my love.” You sat on his lap and cupped his face, he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch.

“My morning star, so good, what a good demon you are.” His eyes shone when he met yours, he recognized pure love through your gaze, deep and sincere. “I'm not a good demon, Mc. There are not good demons.”

He felt your forehead on his.

“I'm looking at one right now.” He smiled and thought to himself. “If they think so, maybe I can try.”

He's going to try. Lucifer swallowed, his throat still sore. “We'll try, we'll do better.”

Part. 9 ಠ⁠‿���ಠ

Thank youuu so much for reading!(⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)♡♡

Taglist: @yuumaofc @kodasstar @asmolover1234 @gallantys @prefesro @urminebutidontwantyou @dearangels

[lucifer-spawn]

The End (and a new beginning)

"You need to kill me."

Vox is suddenly in front of Echo, who is sitting on their bed in Crowley's flat.

"I- What?"

They blink a few times.

"Hold on. Who are you? How did you get in here?"

"None of that is important, just do it."

Echo sighs, looking exhausted.

"I am not going to do it if you don't tell me."

Had you asked them a few months ago, they would've been shocked at just the thought of killing someone, but now? With everything else what did it even matter?Vox rolls its eyes.

"I'm Vox. I am a part of your soul that you cut out with Death's scythe. I can fly through walls."

"You know what? I'm not going to question any of that. Why do you need me to kill you?"

"Because I'm ruining your life."

"Is all of this," they wave around, accidentally hitting a wall - Ow! -, "your fault?"

"No. I did anger your sister by being mean to the little one and almost killed Jay."

Echo's eyes flash red for a second. "You did what?"

"It's fine, I didn't actually do it."

Echo's nails dig into the palms of their hands as they try to stay in control of their emotions. "You're doing a pretty good job at getting me to kill you."

"Great. Let's get this over with."

Echo gets up and crosses their arms in front of their chest.

"How would I do that?"

Vox isn't exactly tangible. Maybe Hellfire? But there's no way Eric will give them some. They can ask Dad, but he'd freak out. Or at least the old Dad would. He would've been here by now, probably saying something about running of without saying goodbye. Echo shakes their had to clear their thoughts, but one stays behind, clinging to them.

Abby would be so worried and disappointed.

Abby isn't here. Don't think about her. Just figure out what to do with Vox. As usual, Echo's brain does not listen to then. Instead a memory floats up, from when they read The Picture of Dorian Gray. What would happen if they kill Vox? Would the rest of their soul die too? Echo doesn't want to kill their soul, even if it's its darkest part.

"Hello?" Vox waves its hand in front of Echo's face. "Are you listening?"

"Yeah, yeah. Of course.

"Vox raises an eyebrow. It reminds Echo of Crowley.

"I- I can't kill you."

Vox sighs. "Yes. You can." He talks to Echo, like they're a small child not listening to a parent. "I just told you how to."

"I won't kill you."

"Yes, you will." Vox's eyes turn fully black.

"I. Won't."

"I'm a bad person. I hurt your family. You should hate me."

"Don't get me wrong, I despise you for what you've done, but you are a part of me. I can't just kill you. My family would be so disappointed."

"Your family," Vox says, "does not care about you. They hurt you too."

"They try their best. I'm not killing you."

"You have to."

"Why?"

"It's your fault I exist. Your duty to fix it."

"D'you think I could just put my soul back together again?"

"Why not? Just hurry up."

"Okay..."

Thinking about what Dad told them about how angels self actualise, they close their eyes and concentrate. They imagine their soul as a shimmery thing, broken, and picture two pieces reattaching, slowly growing together again. "Grab my hand."

Vox's ice cold hand finds theirs and they focus again. Nothing happens. "I don't think I can do this."

"You have to. Figure out what's wrong and fix it."

"It's not that easy!" Echo snaps.

"Maybe you should've thought about that before doing it."

"I don't even remember any of it! How am I supposed to fix it, if I barely know what happened."

"Quick recap: you reached through time and space and stole Death's scythe, cut your soul in three and passed out."

"Wait- in three? So there's more of me running around?!"

"Oh yeah, I think they got kidnapped into a time loop for a while and then were sent to kill God, accidentally ended up at Lucifer Morningstar's and had a mental breakdown."

"We need to find them."

"We?"

"Yes. Where are they?"

"Uhh..." it looks around, "hiding in the penthouse."

"Shit. I can't go there."

"Why not?"

"I ran away. I can't just show up randomly."

"Well then we'll have to make sure we don't get caught."

It's surprisingly easy to get in unnoticed. They don't see or hear a sign of anyone, it almost seems entirely empty. It makes Echo sad. Some part of them had assumed that everything would be just like they left it.

They found Ekho hiding in a bathroom. It took a long time to convince them to come out of it and follow them to Echo's room. That too is empty. Except for 508 pounds of glitter. Tears spring into Echo's eyes. "Jay..." They let their fingers run through the mountain of glitter.

"Whatwhatwhat exactly are you going to do?"

Echo takes a deep breath. "Hopefully put us back together."

"Will it hurthurthurt?"

"Hopefully not."

Vox sighs impatiently.

"Okay, here we go."

Echo takes both of their hands in theirs. They try again and this time the cores of the three beings melt together. It hurts badly. By the end Echo is crying from the pain, and is alone. They fall asleep not much later, lying on the glitter and dreaming of home. It's the first time they sleep in a while.

[crookshanks23]

Homegrown

Henry was exhausted, mostly. There were other feelings, too, but he wasn't going to deal with those right now. (You can't control yourself.) Going to the Church of the Doodler was supposed to help them. Guide them. But now he just had more questions. Mostly about his son. Sons actually. Lark had refused to tell anyone what he had seen on the throne. (My poor son, you know as well as I do... you can't control these children.) Not that Henry would've expected Lark to tell him anything. (I don't like you.) And Sparrow echoing his brother's sentiments... did Sparrow just say what he thought Lark would say? Or did Sparrow feel those things too? What was Henry supposed to do other than take his sons at their word? And there were those other feelings again.

Despite the weariness in his bones and the late hour, Henry went out to the back porch and sat. He needed to screw his head on straight before trying to sleep tonight. (...but you're so afraid of it, you're so upset at yourself for that specialness within you that it just manifests as all this rage.) Not for the first time, he sat on the porch and stared at the inky blackness, missing the stars. They used to bring him such comfort. And now they were gone. And he's just left with the unspoken. The anger that he can't express. Won't express. Won't allow himself to express.

He thought about the look he saw on his boys today. The intensity of both of them. Lark, determined and angry. Sparrow, determined, angry, and sad. He thought about how much those looks had changed since his son had stabbed him and brought forth a chaos god. Not their intensity, no. His beautiful boys had always been intense. But the weariness and sadness in both of them. The anger in Lark. Man, he wished Lark and Sparrow would stop blaming themselves. Lark's (no - Sparrow's) words echoed in his head. "If you'd been a better father..." (This is my fault, but it's your fault too! You fucked this up - We fucked this-...) They were right. Barry had been right. It truly was his fault. He hadn't been able to control his children. And how his son was telling them the only way out was to kill an eldritch god.

The sky above took him back to that night in the kitchen, making popcorn. "But, Lark? I believe you have an apology for Father?" The hope that had filled his chest at that moment. His child that had wanted nothing to do with him for weeks, wanted to speak to him? Wanted to apologize even? Maybe the effects of the Rogue Card had finally warn off now that they'd been home for a bit.

Henry knelt down on the yellow linoleum, wondering what his son was going to say.

"I really do need to apologize, Father. I am sorry" (You can't control these children.)

And then pain.

Physical pain at first. And then the pain of betrayal. But before that could fully set in, a new pain appeared in his body, burning like fire and static under his skin, making its way to his gut. He pitched forward, retching, black bile pouring onto the floor out of his body and out of his sons.

And then it was over. The stab felt numb. The betrayal sat there, as negative emotions about his sons often did in Henry, quickly replaced with panic and urgency to see what had happened outside as the world fell apart around them.

Present Henry remembered that moment and remembered that brief feeling of betrayal that he had since refused to acknowledge. But now that feeling was staring him in the face. And that was the problem - he could never allow himself to have those feelings about his sons. He was confronted with the fact that while he was great at loving them and dealing with the feelings of others, he could never cope with how infuriated and frustrated his own boys made him feel. Because he refused to hate his children the way that Barry had hated him. Refused to become his father.

And because he never learned to cope with those feelings, the sky had filled with static and turned red. The eye of the Doodler now forever watching. Because he couldn't figure himself out. He could never hate his sons. Sparrow loved him but was torn between his father and his brother. Lark hated him and also had come to hate himself. And how Henry knew they both blamed him. And he wouldn't fault them for that. At the end of the day, it was his fault. Sure, Willy had cast a spell - but those boys were trying to summon the Doodler long before Willy had met them. Henry had never truly taken the boys at their word that they wanted to summon the Doodler. He had thought it was the fantastical ambition of two chaotic pre-teens. And now he had to figure out how to save the world.

There was only one other place Henry could think to go. One place that he'd been avoiding like the plague. But it contained the only person he knew that might know something about the Doodler. The only other person who had lived with it. Henry stood up and walked inside. It was finally time to deal with the anger burning inside him. The anger he had passed to Lark. He couldn't change the past. All he could do was love and support his family and maybe hope that he could be the hero this world needed, unsung or not. It was time to go home.

[bigbadmuerte]

Philip Wittebane's two greatest fears are the fear of the unknown and of losing control. Death's promise of answers calms him slightly. It's all too much to process right now so he focuses on that one word, trying to keep himself from being dragged under by the sea of mental anguish and swirling emotions. He takes a few deep, shuddering breaths. Philip's lungs feel strangely wet and his breathing comes out in a wheeze. His skin feels like its literally crawling. "You're right. There's nothing I can do to save him now..." He looks up, meeting Death's eyes. "If you are really Thanatos, why are you here? Have you come to take me now too?"

A low, dry chuckle escapes him. "Still calling me Thanatos, huh? I guess some things don't change." He removes his hand out of fear of getting any of Phillip on him. If any of that green goop got on him again he'd had a fit.

Death fully glances over at Azura with a deep sigh. "You're perfectly alive, so no, I'm not here for you. You could say I'm meddling. Sometimes I take things personally. I was trying to keep her safe, but it didn't... I haven't been doing a great job." Some of that hardness from earlier returns at the thought of whose fault it was that Azura was unsafe to begin with, but he forces himself to let it go, no matter how bad of a taste it puts in his mouth.

He ruffles the fur on the back of his neck with a sigh. What a day. At the very least, maybe if he keeps Phillip talking long enough, he'll calm down enough that he'll appear more human. "I know it's not fair to not have gotten to tell your brother goodbye, but at the very least I can answer what questions I can. You have my attention."

[meghansdreamdesignsblog]

Guys ---please don't ever pressured me and I know I should never pressured myself either...i have to be honest, I don't have great romance/love experiences in years because of all those flaws that most people don't like especially my odd physical appearance. I do want to be in love(in fantasy)but sadly, I don't think it's gonna work in reality. I think love/relationships don't or won't ever work for me at all...Yes, I also have trust issues... I also hated when someone said to me that I should date ‘special ed’ person--its like a stereotype. For example, ‘hey I have someone who's on the wheel chair just like you’. Does that make sense? i also don't see myself as a grirlfriend, lover, wife, etc.. I can't date, I can't get married...love is too much for me because of my body image and many flaws, including my severe premenstrual disorder. I would get easily excluded or rejected again and again...i know others see me as a threat when my intense emotions and hypersensitive issues can be too much for them... If I meet someone, it'll happen again. And then I’ll get easily control, excluded, abuse, and left out,etc.....please don't ever say--I mean JUST DONT!!!!’ You're just too negative’“You're being so quiet’“You’re just too picky’’Youre too emotional’, you're too much’, ‘You haven't found the right one’,’ ‘Thsts your fault’, ‘youre just lazy’, ‘Youre being anti-social’, ;youre not mature enough’......I’m much better off as an asexual person because I don't see myself romantically and sexually enough in year's.. Please understand this--thank you

[agatha-loyagot]

A week later...

Under the scorching sunlight, shouts of good-byes and Toron's emotional cries, Ágatha left her home and village to go to the kingdom, with a smile on her face and water on her feet, which she used to get move

After a little "walk" she arrived at the kingdom, and the school, of course

And just over the horizon, Gaga came, flapping he wings as fast as possible, but soon landed on he owner's shoulder.

"I won, Gaga"

After a cute giggle and an angry parrot, they both entered the school... still not completely agreed

The school had a wooden floor, but the rest was completely stone, large pilasters like windows, stairs leading to the house on one of the three floors, on the right, the classrooms, on the left, the bathrooms, rooms of important people, among others

"Hm.. okay, I live nearby, I won't need a dorm-"

As she turned to the right, she almost collided with the half-orc boy! he almost fell on his own, but he seemed more scared than in a hurry

"Oh sorry..."

"Oh relax, you're the half-orc boy, right? you know, from a week ago!"

"The one my horse told me about?"

"Was that horse yours?"

"Sorry he licked you, that's how he thanks you..."

"Oh it's okay! Are you better after that explosion?"

"I don't like talking about it..."

Silence trapped them both, but Agatha wouldn't give up on making a new friend

"So... my name is Agatha Loyagot, and you?"

"Goio Heleorc.."

The two began to walk down the huge hallway.

"Did you also take the test to get in?"

"You got in because of the test?! You're not a-"

"Don't you dare."

".... sorry..."

"... Do you.. control anything cool? hehehe, I can control the water!"

"I don't have magic."

"ah?"

"I asked my mother to try something magic, I never liked the brutality of orcs, but I'm great at potions!"

"The wizard Barbosa was great at potions too!"

"Hehehe... classes start in a little while... and the first class is potions, I can help you during the class"

"Please, potions master!"

"Don't call me that... heh~"

After some explanations about the place, class time finally arrived.

The room had large windows overlooking the bustling kingdom, each separate table with its cauldron and pots of necessary items, long shelves with books on one side, ready-made potions on the other, a very pleasant environment, and in front of the large windows, there was the teacher, introducing Ágatha to the rest of the class, who didn't dare leave her seat to go in front of the class.

Whispers could be heard from all sides of the room, but soon the teacher began class.

"Bunch of gossiping idiots..."

"They were also saying that... after the explosion... you ran away... and they were saying that you had cursed me..."

"My Gods... how many idiots and stupid people... wait, do you believe this...?"

"No, I'm in perfect condition... but why did you run away...?"

"... I'm... afraid they'll kill me..."

"... I am really sorry..."

"You sily, it's not your fault, I'll take care of my fear later, now,

She takes two glass jars and hits them both hard, like a violent toast between two brutes.

potions master, let's go! teach me!"

"Firstly, don't break anything!"

Two hours later... and another history of magic lesson...

In the small courtyard of the place, with huge trees and mischievous teenagers, near a medium-sized tree, there were our half-orc and human

"Oh, your lunch is so organized, did you make it yourself?"

"My father- I mean, my master who did it, actually"

"... Oh, that is nice.."

"Are you okay?"

"My mother used to make my lunch before I came here, they live far away, so I need a dorm."

"You talk so much about your mother..."

"Of course, she is the best! she deserves all the recognition, as a great mother, as a healer!"

"Wow... it makes me jealous..."

"Oh... so... sorry...?"

"Hehehe, I'm kidding! Relax! but I wanted to have a mother... the master never had a romantic relationship with anyone..."

"... so... sorry anyway... I would never imagine myself without my mother..."

"oh ignore that... and your father...? You didn't tell me anything about him..."

"... I don't like talking about him..."

Goio finally started to eat his snack, asking Agatha doubts, but she didn't want to be insensitive, maybe Goio's father abandoned him? It's better not to ask...

The color of the sky slowly changed to orange, and soon everyone could rest or go home, and during the third, fourth and fifth periods, students enjoyed some time at the clubs they liked, or they went home early, which was not the case with our children, who were in the exploded potions club...

Goio stepped slowly on the ground, the part not broken by the explosion was extremely sensitive, something that was dangerous for our greenie, but after reaching out to pick up something almost burned, he returned to Agatha, who was on the stairs to the third floor

"Shouldn't it be forbidden to go there?"

"And does anyone happen to know that I went in there?"

"Uhhh, the half-orc is not only cute but also a sneaky little mouse, hehehe"

"Hehehe, anyway, I just went to get this..."

When he carefully opened his hand, there it was, a photo, almost completely burned, of Goio's family... he was between his mother and father, his mother unfortunately had her face burned by the explosion, but the father's face, intact

"... Damn it..."

"Wow, so your father didn't abandon you?"

"What?"

"I mean- oh damn, your mom didn't survive the explosion, heh..."

"...Shit.."

"... at least... you can cut out your father's share and... leave just you and your mother... you're still your mother, right?"

"... hah... do you have any photos of yourself?"

"Why- .... I understand... hehehe! I'll see if I have!"

With a smile on both their faces, the two went to enjoy the end of the day, with Agatha trying to survive the licks of HopeHope, Goio's horse... and soon after that first day of school, Agatha returned home, Toron had made burnt fish, literally, he's not good at cooking, hehehe

_________________________________________

End of chapter one

Thanks for reading ^^

[apparently-artless]

i loved reading your comments on koushuu and the kousawa battery in the gifset you made on how nice it is to see eijun have someone so dedicated to him! i totally agree! i really liked miyuki for a long time while watching the anime, until the yips arc and the scene where he ignores eijun in favor of catching for furuya, eventually leading to koushuu catching for eijun for the first time. in both scenes miyuki's treatment of eijun really broke my heart and made it difficult for me to like him. seeing how attentive, sincere, kind, and present koushuu is with eijun is so so refreshing and eye-opening. miyuki and eijun undeniably have a lot of chemistry and are clearly favored by tj, but miyuki can just be so... unkind to him, and treats him like a pest. even when it's done jokingly, it breaks my heart because eijun so clearly admires and desires miyuki's approval- and miyuki is aware of this, and still treats him like that. seeing a catcher treat him like a human, a friend, an equal, the way koushuu does is such a breath of fresh air. theres no power imbalance, theres no chasing, theres no fighting for an ounce of acknowledgement. it's just two people seeing and understanding and supporting each other.

i know you didn't ask for this so im sorry this got so long dsfkdfkjh! its just unusual to see people who share similar recognition for the not so great parts in the misawa dynamic (as a battery and relationship). i hope you are doin good! :)

hey, anon! thanks for sharing your thoughts too! i do agree with what you said and I'm glad someone shares the same sentiments. i love miyuki as sawamura's battery, but adding okumura to the story is refreshing because he's experiencing something he rarely gets to experience with miyuki. if you've finished reading act ii, there was even a time (while sawamura was already the ace) when he mentioned wanting to go pro to furuya. let me repeat, he said his honest feelings to furuya and not to sawamura while sawamura was accidentally hearing this in the background. for me, it was frustrating and sawamura felt the same. sometimes, i do get frustrated with TJ. can't even say that he did a good wrap-up on that part.

but then, if you're going to think about it, this is just one of miyuki's flaws as a character. he's just so bad when it comes to emotional department that if i had to rate him from 0-10, i'd say he's a negative one. during yakushi's match, he admitted that it was his fault but didn't apologize sincerely to sawamura. during yips arc, he admitted that he noticed something's off about the pitcher but kept pushing him and pestering him about his control. even during the match with inajutsu, clearly, sawamura was already getting too pressured and too agitated but he failed to notice. and at that time they were trying to watch sawamura's pitching when they already found out about his condition, instead of saying something positive, he simply told sawamura not to think too much about it because he's an 'idiot'. he rarely praises sawamura because "he's always getting ahead of himself" as he keeps on saying. to make the long story short, miyuki is just emotionally constipated and he himself is aware of it. and while it is one of his character flaws, it made the readers/watchers love him even more. no one wants a perfect character right?

so rather than changing this side of miyuki, i'm glad that there is another catcher who has the same potential as miyuki that was added to the story. okumura is fulfilling the roles that miyuki cannot do as a character, in my opinion, and i am so happy to see this battery. did you ever see miyuki pester sawamura to catch his pitches? nope. okumura does. did you ever see miyuki praise the pitcher for his pitches? rarely. mostly, he would praise sawamura in front of other people or when he's having his monologue but not tell it straight to his face. okumura, however, can do that. if he thinks sawamura did a good job, he would honestly tell the pitcher. did you ever see miyuki stick to sawamura so he can look after him and made sure that he won't overwork himself? nope. although this is quite understandable because of miyuki's position so i am really glad that okumura is there.

if you haven't read beyond what's included in the anime, i suggest you try reading act ii manga. okumura is still fulfilling the role of a good catcher looking after sawamura. because in case some readers/watchers forgot. sawamura is still the MC of the story. he always accompanies sawamura even after the games. when the first years noticed that sawamura was acting strange because of what he heard between miyuki and furuya, okumura was the one who talked to miyuki to speak to sawamura. during the summer tournament games, he always checks sawamura's condition. he always tries to observe the pitcher and tries to know more about him. he's always concerned about sawamura and that really made me happy. with Chris gone, it's like there's another catcher who can dedicate his time to him and it's just so heartwarming. their conversations are also funny and it's really cute that okumura is always beside him.

okay. i think i made my point. now, it's my time to apologize for the long reply. nyahaha! (⁀ᗢ⁀)

and please, anon. let me know who you are. send me a DM so we can talk about this some more. <(￣︶￣)>

btw, in case you are also reading fanfics, you may want to read one of my fanfics that features the mura-mura battery (i kinda prefer to call their battery like this because it's kinda funny). yes, anon. i am shamelessly promoting one of my fanfics. please forgive my audacity. ( ◡‿◡ *)

[daechwitatamic]

Say the Right Thing || KTH

(banner by @itaeewon)

Complete Faith

POV Drabble #1: Say the Right Thing

@kookstempo - here's the break-up from Tae's point of view! I hope you like it!!!! I'm also going to do Tae post-break-up since that's technically more what you asked for lol and the recital too :)

WC: 1,400

Rating/Warnings: strong language only, angst

The worst days of Taehyung's life have all revolved around his mother.

Now, don’t misunderstand. He loves his mother. She’s strong, with a big heart. It isn’t her fault.

It isn’t her fault that her brain declared its own neurological pathways Enemy #1. It’s not her fault that her brain decided that eating holes in itself was the best line of defense.

It isn’t her fault. But it’s still true. The worst days of his life have all been caused by his mother’s MS.

It’s better now than it was when he was a kid. He has more control over the situation, a little more agency. He gets to be involved in the helping; when he was small, he helped by staying out of the way.

This attack is bad. He can tell from day one. It’s been years since she’s had her whole side go numb, years since he's had to help her wash her hair in the kitchen sink, years since he's had to sit by her side at the hospital while the IV steroids run.

It seems like it’s going that way again.

He's exhausted.

She’s exhausted.

His dad is exhausted.

And his girlfriend decided that now would be a great time to reconcile with her ex. Because he definitely has the brainpower and emotional energy to wade through that bullshit.

You two have barely talked the whole week, and he knows that’s mostly on him. He knows you're waiting for an answer, he knows you're connecting the dots from your emotionally unavailable ex to him. He knows you're jumping to conclusions. 

He just doesn't have the energy to engage. You don't know he spent the day listening to his mother cry through the pain. You don't know he's been wrung out to empty worrying if this will be the time that his mother doesn’t get feeling back when the attack passes, if this will be the attack that leaves her blind or unable to walk without aid. 

You don't know. And that’s not your fault, either. Because he didn’t tell you any of it.

Which is why you're here, staring at him across his small balcony, your face drawn and her eyes tight. 

“I know it’s been shitty for both of us since last week,” he tells you, and you nod silently. He's hoping you'll say something like, yes, missing you this week was hard, or maybe even ask him how it was hard for him - give him the opening to share what’s been happening. 

You say nothing, so Taehyung presses forward. He feels like he's trying to tell you what he needs - ask me, ask me what’s been going on, I’ll tell you if you just ask - 

“I know I wasn’t… extremely forthcoming about what was happening at my parents’ house,” he says. He pauses. Still nothing. Fine then. Time to address the bigger issue: your little excursion with your ex. “But I feel like you took that kind of personally and… acted out.”

He waits, silent, not sure if you'll deny this, or argue, maybe even shout at him.

You lick your lips, eyes flicking to your feet and then back to Taehyung. You look almost… ashamed. 

Finally, you say, “It’s felt like this for me: it’s like your active life is this box, right?” You make a box in the air in front of you. Your face is calm, your voice even. You're working just as hard as he is to do this rationally, to keep calm and logical. “And you picked me up and placed me to the side of the box, and you wanted me to just wait there until you were ready for me again.” You falter then, hunting for words, and Taehyung's stomach twists with a jolt of anger. He knows where this is going to go. “It just… I don’t… Tae, I’ve done that before, remember? I can’t do it again.”

He does remember. And that is not what happened here. He didn’t check out on you for weeks at a time, he didn’t string you along for months while barely giving a shit, he didn’t show up and give a half-assed effort to win you back every time you tried to stick up for yourself. Yet here you are, punishing him for someone else's sins.

“This is not the same as what happened with Ben,” he tells you, leaning forward to peer at your face, to see if you're understanding him. You press your lips together tightly and drop your gaze. That spark of anger flares in the pit of his stomach again. “I knew that’s what was going on with you! Do you not see how this is different? You knew what was happening with me. You knew it was going to be kind of different and you couldn’t just hang on for a literal week, Y/N-.”

He knows he's ranting, he can hear the edge in his voice, but he can’t stop. This is literally the most unfair thing that’s ever happened to him-

“Did I, though?” you interject. “Did I know it was a week because of whatever was going on that you wouldn’t talk to me about, or did I just have to take that on faith? Aren’t you the one who gave me shit for staying in relationships where I’m being ignored?”

Taehyung sits up. Did you… not believe him? This whole week, as he'd been taking care of his mother - cooking meals, cleaning up, listening to her cry in pain, spending hours on hold with her neuro - had his girlfriend been doubting the reason for his absence? 

“So, was that the problem?” he asks, voice low. He feels like he's starting to see this whole situation very differently. “You didn’t believe me that things were only a little off because of my mom? You didn’t trust me that we’d be right back to normal once my dad got back?”

You didn’t trust him? You didn’t think he'd come back, that things would be normal again? 

“I didn’t know what to think,” you say slowly. “You weren’t answering my texts or calls… it just felt so familiar…”

What had he ever done to make you doubt him?

But he knows the answer. It isn’t about him at all.

Again: unfair.

When he's able to speak, when he's able to say something that isn’t cruel for the sake of cruelty, he tells you, “If at this point you legitimately don’t trust me… then what are you even doing? Why are you even here?” 

It’s a challenge, but it’s a question, too. He really wants to know. Do you even have an answer? You just stare at him, eyes wide, cheeks flushed. 

Say the right thing, he wants to beg her - the girl he's loved silently for at least a year now. Tell me you’re sorry, tell me you trust me, tell me it was a mistake to doubt me. 

You do the fucking opposite. Your brows furrow, mouth twists, and you sneer, “Right on schedule, right, Taehyung? Did we make it a whole seven weeks?”

It would’ve hurt less if you'd slapped him. He'd told you once that he thought he was broken, and you're throwing it in his face. You'd picked him up, turned him over, eyed all his cracks and mars, and tossed him back on the shelf. 

He points a finger at you, anger flaring beyond the point of being tempered. “Don’t you fucking dare. I’m in this. You’re the one who’s been holding back, you’re the one acting like you can slow it down if you dig your heels in hard enough.”

“That isn’t true,” you say, shaking your head, your hair swinging. 

But it is. You both know it.

“Then ask yourself –.” He pauses, redirects - “No, fuck that, I am asking you: do you think we can make it?” You watch her, eyes hard. “If your answer isn’t immediately, unequivocally yes, then you might as well just leave.”

He wills himself to feel nothing when you stand up, as you cross his apartment, as you closes the front door behind yourself with a definitive bang. 

He drops his head into his hands. Beside him, forgotten, his phone rings with an incoming call.

Mom.

Thank you for reading!

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Let the Stars Witness

Okay okay holy— omg I did it! My first request and from an admired writer of mine no less!

From @kim-monsterlings : Hi and welcome!! Really looking forward to seeing your work! ~ If you would, could I request some form of friends to lovers with an orc? (Prompts maybe like, "you deserve better.") Thank you! <3

Since it wasn't specified on what their genders are, I hope your okay with what I went with! And I kinda trailed off from the prompt (or rather it's different but similar)

Anyways you'll know when you read!

•

Pairing: Male Orc (Duruk) x Human Fem!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: None.

•

"You know, I never thought I would be friends with anyone here, especially with someone other than my, well, species," you tell your companion, your eyes not leaving the cloudless night sky as you lied on your back on the roof of his house. The stars were out tonight.

If you told your younger self that you'd be having great escapades (if running away and getting into a series of trouble fall under that) with an orc, you would most definitely cry your eyes out because you thought were being teased, taking it as a hurtful comment. You were sensitive like that. Part of the reason why no one would even go near you, afraid they might hurt you with a pat on the shoulder or with one word alone. You became the prime target of bullies, finding twisted amusement at your pathetic reactions. A crybaby, they called you. But it wasn't your fault you didn't have much control over your emotions. You were weird, asocial, timid, maybe even depressed. Having a neglectful family didn't help either, it just worsened.

•

The morning you met Duruk was after the orientation. And it was not so good for a first impression.

Long story short, you cried.

But since you're perhaps curious as to what happened exactly, let's elaborate.

You had your headphones on, the melodic sound of gentle rain played in a 3-hour loop and blocked out other noises, your eyes glued to the path you were on. You took long and hurried steps, wishing you could teleport to your classroom and hide in the back, disappear or become invisible.

You were distracted, or should we say, focused on the ground and expecting everyone to step aside and let you through.

Well, except for the one who had his back on you.

You crashed—not an exaggeration— into something- someone massive. You stumbled back and landed on your bum, wincing from the impact. Luckily, your headphones were safe (ah yes, priorities), detaching from your ears and landing on your shoulders. When you looked up to see who it was, you thought your eyes were gonna fall off, grow little legs, and scamper away.

Before you stood an orc, halfway turned to glance at whoever it was that tried to push him, his sharp tusks jutting out from his maw. His brows were furrowed as he looked down on you. Sure, he wasn't as tall as the orcs you've seen around the city and campus but still was over 6 feet, with muscles thicker than your thighs, easily hulking you.

You tried to get out an apology and run as far as you could go, but you just sat there, frozen as you strained your neck to meet his gaze, you couldn't look away. Your heart was trying to claw its way out into the surface.

Then you felt the tears swell up.

They cascaded down your face before you even could stop them.

The orc's eyes widened at your reaction and crouched down to your level in an instant that he almost fell over. His hands hovered, not sure what to do.

"Hey, hey, please don't cry. Please don't—"

"I-I-I'm re..really s-sorry p-please don't hurt m-me..." You managed to choke out pathetically, hiccuping in every word.

"Shhh now hey, it's okay. It was an accident— what? No! Why would I do that?" he replied. The orc peeked over his shoulder and to the sides. "Let's get you to somewhere, uh, less crowded," he added. You turned your head and saw that you had an audience, whispers went around as they sent pitiful and disgusted glances in your direction, only making you cry even more.

He proceeded to unceremoniously lift you into his arms, bridal style, and dashed away. You gripped the front of his shirt and shut your eyes. You were trembling now, scared of what he might do to you. How could you even fight back with your small stature?

It wasn't long until you felt him slow down and placed you carefully on a bench. The orc knelt in front of you, brows scrunched up as he studied your face.

"You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

You didn't reply, only staring at him through your glassy eyes as you heaved.

You flinched when his hand started rubbing your back, his other hand placed on the side of the bench to balance himself.

He continued to caress your back and murmured soothing words in hopes of calming you down.

Your tears didn't stop falling until moments later when you came down from your initial fear, the warmth of his palm leaving your back once you did. All the while the orc remained where he was, at a loss of what to do next.

You rubbed your sticky face with the collar of your pale and blotchy crimson sweater, sniffing and taking slow, deep breaths before you spoke.

"I... I'm sorry for causing you trouble. E-Even going as far as to take me somewhere quiet. I...appreciate that." You thought you'd pass out with the way people gathered around you, it was suffocating. "Thank you..."

"I panicked," he started, "Sorry—I mean, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I get that a lot of people run away from the sight of me, but you didn't, and just froze there on the ground so..." he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.

You shook your head. He was such an imposing figure to many, their first thought was most likely to get away or scream at him.

"You looked angry... When I bumped into you." You slammed into him actually, but he didn't budge an inch. Guess it was one-sided.

"Oh, that? Well, my brother scolds me a lot for having such a grumpy face, scaring humans away. Like he was the one to talk when he's taller and bigger than me! People would faint on the spot when they see him, I bet!"

The image your mind conjured up tore a laugh out of your body, two orcs arguing about how not to terrify people at sight was damn hilarious. When was the last time someone made you laugh like this?

The orc grinned, your reaction a contrast to that of earlier.

You opened your mouth to say something but the ringing of the great bell resounded, cutting you off. The two of you stood up as you realized you were late for your first class of the school year.

"So, uh, what now?" you asked.

"How about we go to our class, then maybe meet up later? Oh, fu— my mother will gut me— I haven't introduced myself!" He blurted out, his voice making you yelp with the sudden outburst.

Clearing his throat, he reached out, "I'm Duruk."

In turn, you gave him your name, taking his hand and smiled. "Hello, Duruk."

•

True to his word, you met again later when lunch came. The cafeteria was packed so you settled on getting the convenience food they offered and eat somewhere quiet.

Your conversation that day spiraled when you found out the two of you had a lot in common. From your favorite rock band to your favorite flavor of ice cream.

You both strongly agreed that vanilla ice cream was superior.

You agreed to meet up during breaks, always having something to chat about.

Eventually, you became inseparable.

He even changed and transferred to your class just so the two of you could be together at the start of the day rather than walk half of the campus to see each other every time.

You became best friends, sharing each moment in school, may it be helping the other stay awake in a boring class, or copying homework when one of you forgot to do it. Soon enough, Duruk started inviting you to his house to hang out. He did mention he had four other siblings, but he lived alone. You came by almost every night and on whole weekends to escape from home, only a few miles in between. No one would notice you gone anyways, but you returned around midnight, not wanting to impose on Duruk no matter what he says, so he walks you back instead.

You basked in each other's company. The odd and scrutinizing glares didn't go unnoticed when you two were together, but you shrugged them all off.

It didn't take long before you started having feelings for the orc, a little wishful thinking that you could be more than friends. You noted lately that his touches would linger seconds longer than usual, hugs and even a hand on your shoulder and back seem to be warmer and —you dare say— affectionate. It weighed heavily on your heart, your simple crush turned into something else, and it only grew with each passing day, and every laugh you shared.

But of course, you swatted those away, buried them deep inside every damn time they climb back up. Who could even love you? Yes, you have Duruk, he likes you, you think. But that's the end of it. Just close buddies. You can't take the risk of ruining your friendship with him and make things awkward with the only one you had! What if he stops talking to you, weirded out by your confession? You don't want to go back to being alone again, your heart can't take the rejection that came with it.

So you endured.

•

A little over five months ever since the embarrassing accident, here you are now, stargazing with your best friend.

"Well, good thing you didn't watch where you were going that time then," he says, chuckling beside you. His hands cushioned his head against the hard surface. "I wouldn't have..." he trails off.

"Hm, what?" you ask. Duruk went silent and didn't answer you for a time. You were about to let it slide but then he breathes in audibly.

"I wouldn't have met an angel if you did. Should've caught you in my arms, but sadly I didn't move fast enough." He replies, his voice deep and mellow.

You straighten up and turn to face him, your brows shot up, incredulous to what he just implied.

"W-Wait. What?" you squeak, your heart thumping hard in your chest, your skin warming up even in the chilled night air.

Is he—

"You're so cute, y'know that? Fuck it, it's all or nothing," he whispers under his breath as he sits up to face you. His expression was unreadable, but you see in his mahogany eyes a familiar glint of determination. "I'm not good with long-ass speeches so I'll make this short," he breathes in before he continues, "I feel something for you, for a while now, more than a best friend does, like...in a romantic sense. I want to cherish you and hold you in my arms every time I see you, I- ah fuck- damn it I just—" he growls, "I love you, so much and if you don't love me back then please re—"

You shut him off with your lips against his, Duruk's tusks pressing against your cheeks as you held his face in your hands. He was stunned for two solid seconds before returning the kiss, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you close and into his lap.

You feel something wet roll down your hand and you immediately jerked back to see his face. The orc was crying.

Did you do it wrong? Were you so terrible at it—

"I don't deserve you... A monster like me doesn't deserve an angel like you."

Where was this coming from??

"Say that again, I dare you."

"I don't de—"

This idiot!

You pecked his lips to cut him off.

"You big dummy," you begin, "I love you too, idiot. You may be a monster but not what everyone else defines you as. I love you as you are. You're my best friend, and dare I say my l-lover now. Is that right...?"

Duruk gives you a small, gentle smile, "If you'll have me, then yes, for as long as you want me to be." He says, sniffling a sob as a couple more tears tumbled down his rugged face.

You never thought you'd see him like this. He was the one who kept making you laugh with his stories and terrible jokes. Before you, in your hands was someone vulnerable, his eyes soft and fond as he gazed into yours.

It made your heart pound and it hurt.

You leaned in and he met you halfway, kissing once again, deeper and more intimate this time. Real. You brought your arms around his neck, your tears spilling out and he tightened his grip around you. It felt like a dream, too good to be true, but the way he hugged you like you were the only thing that anchored him in this world made you believe it wasn't. All of this was real and you couldn't be anymore happier.

From above, the glittering stars, the light gentle as they shone, bear witness to two freed hearts, bottled up feelings gushing out like a broken dam as you embraced one another and lost yourselves in the moment of bliss, cheeks stained and clothes lightly damp from the tiny rivulets of liquid that dropped down.

It's a lovely night, isn't it?

[bluerosewritings]

Every Rose Has Its Thorns | Overblot!Riddle x Reader

You charged through the rose maze, cursing how loud your footsteps were. You'd heard Heartslabyul students talk about how insanely hard it was to even get halfway through the maze, but you never thought it would be this bad. Why, out of everything you could have done, did you think it would be a good idea to run into here?

Everything had gone so wrong. All you'd wanted was to help Ace and Deuce get out of their punishment - and if solving that with a duel meant helping the other students, great! There's no way it could end up worse than what happened in the Dwarf Mines, right?

You envied your past self's innocence.

In a weird way, you blamed yourself. If you hadn't opened your mouth, Riddle wouldn't have retaliated, so Ace wouldn't have decked his dorm leader in the face, someone wouldn't have thrown that egg at Riddle, Riddle wouldn't have freaked out and started beheading everyone, and he wouldn't have turned into... that. With that... thing hovering behind him like some sort of cruel puppeteer, looking way too familiar to whatever had tried to hurt you and your friends in the Dwarf Mines. Had you always been this unlucky?

Crowley had barely been able to say a thing before Riddle had cast Off With Your Head on the headmaster, then on Trey, Cater, and whatever poor souls that hadn't yet escaped Heartslabyul, tying them up with rose bush roots. Once again, you'd been the only one without a collar - maybe it was because of your lack of magic, maybe it was because you were from another world, you didn't know. You didn't hang around to find out - once Grim's yells at you to hurry up and get out of there snapped you out of your horrified trance, you bolted. Unfortunately, Riddle had noticed your sudden departure and chased after you, screaming your name.

You'd ducked into the Rose Maze hoping to shake him off. You wished you hadn't - all that you'd accomplished was getting yourself lost. Riddle's voiced seemed to be getting closer and closer by the minute, too.

"(y/n)!" Speak of the devil. The sudden shock of his voice nearly made you trip. "Come out this instant! Do you want your punishment to be even more severe!?"

Shaking off his words (or were you literally shaking?), you turned the corner. There seemed to be more and more roses as you went on - maybe a sign you were nearing the exit? Hoping so, you followed the blood-red flowers.

"(y/n)! I'm saying this for your own benefit! Tell me where you are, now! (y/n)!"

The leaves seemed to be disappearing under the red petals. A war between the two pieces of nature, two things that should be living in harmony instead being tainted by greed and ruining their peace. You had to be nearly out.

"(y/n)!!"

There were barely any leaves left now.

One last turn. One last turn and you should be--

Stuck. The roses didn't lead to the end of the maze at all. They led to the center of it.

A statue of the Queen of Hearts, like the one in the school among the other Great Seven, seemed to mock you with her smug expression. Now that you got a good look at her, she looked eerily similar to the specter haunting Riddle. Of course she did.

"So this is where you've been."

You turned so fast you fell over. Your mind couldn't even register the pain from your new cuts as you stared up in terror at the twisted form of Riddle. The boy himself seemed to be conflicted on whether to look at you with sympathy or smirk.

He settled on disappointment. "If you'd have just answered me earlier, you wouldn't be in such a sad state now, would you? Good grief."

Though he approached you at a normal pace, even that was enough to send a shiver down your spine. Desperately you tried to push yourself off the ground. Only it didn't work - you looked down to see yourself literally rooted to the floor. Following the root's path, you saw they were coming from the two rose bushes levitating by Riddle's side. No surprise there.

Out of options, you looked up at this new version of Riddle looming over you. Trying not to let your fear show, you glared at him. The look only caused Riddle's eyebrow to twitch before his emotions exploded forth.

"Don't look at your Queen that way! Change your expression immediately!"

"W-Why should I?"

"You...!" Blood rushed to Riddle's face. "Ever since I met you, everything you've done...! Causing a disturbance at the entrance ceremony, encouraging Ace and Deuce's idiotic behaviour, even managing to turn Cater and Trey against me...! I should despise every single part of you! So why...!?"

Before you could ask what he meant, the rose roots shot their way up your back, repositioning themselves so they pushed you upwards. You had no time to react - not that you could do much, your hands were still restricted, now bound together - as Riddle tangled his fingers in your hair and forced his lips on yours.

It took you a second to process what he was doing. Once you realised, you begun trying to wriggle your way out of his grip. Unfortunately, this only annoyed Riddle further - he tugged at your hair, causing you to yelp. Riddle took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Any cries of protest went ignored.

You weren't sure how long the kiss lasted, but when Riddle finally pulled away you wasted no time gasping for air. There was a metallic taste invading your mouth. Your first thought was that it was blood but you couldn't raise your hand to check.

Riddle kept your foreheads touching, his hand still in your hair to keep you from moving away. You thought you were the only one that was dealing with a lack of air, but it seemed that Riddle's power up couldn't keep him from panting.

"Why...?" Riddle looked you in the eyes. The dark intensity scared you. It was a mix of anger, regret, confusion... and something else that somehow scared you even more.

"Why did I have to fall for someone like you...?"

Love.

Somehow the ferocity of the first kiss hadn't made it click for you. Now, however, the rush of fear gave you the strength to fling your head back and crash it onto Riddle's.

Only your foreheads were connected but it was enough. Riddle yelled in pain and let go of you. You fell on to the floor but were quick to get up as the pain was distracting Riddle from his control spell.

"(y/n)...! HOW DARE YOU!?"

You make it to the other side of the Queen of Hearts statue before roots burst out of the ground and latch on to your ankles. Caught mid-run, the sudden stop causes your to fall face-forward onto the floor. More roots appear to take advantage of the opportunity, latching themselves around you, binding you to the ground.

You couldn't turn your head, but you could feel Riddle approaching, glaring at your back. You weren't sure what was worse; the foreboding sense of darkness from Riddle's stares or the crushing feeling from the roots.

By the time Riddle was standing in front of you, black dots were decorating your vision. Tears were dripping out your eyes as you were unable to stop them. The unknown anxiety from what Riddle would do made breathing even harder. Riddle gritted his teeth, still nursing his head.

"Why do you insist on being so disobedient!?" Riddle growled. "Is it just because it's me!? You have no problem listening to those first-year ruler breakers! Is it them? Did they influence you? It has to be! It's their fault!"

"No...!" You croaked out.

Every word Riddle spoke caused the roots to become tighter. The tears fell even harder as you gasped for air like a fish out of water.

"No? Look at yourself!" Riddle scoffed. "This wouldn't have happened if you'd just followed my rules! I should have approached you from the start... I should've seen what leaving you alone would do. Damn it!"

"Pl...ease...!" You could barely make out Riddle's words. A dull ringing was going off in your ears, making it hard for you to focus.

"You had so much potential, right from the beginning, even if the mirror said you were magic-less, I saw it!" Riddle continued to scold himself, unaware of your desperation. "I should've told Crowley to place you in Heartslabyul, where I could've kept you on the right track... instead you had to become a rule-breaker! Why!?"

"I'm... sorry...!" You cried out.

The words caught Riddle's ears. He finally turned to you, realising what he'd caused. Gears turned in his head before he finally spoke.

"You're sorry, what?" He tried.

"I... I'm sorry, my Queen...! Riddle...!"

Instantly, the pressure was released. The sudden rush of oxygen to your lungs made you choke. Even though the roots were off you, you stayed laying on the ground, not wanting to push Riddle into doing that again.

"(y/n)." You looked up. "Come here."

Riddle stiffly opened his arms, as if embarrassed by the act. You hesitated, unsure if it was a trap. Riddle frowned.

"(y/n). Come here, now."

Out of options, you slowly pushed yourself off the floor. You still hadn't completely recovered, so you more stumbled than walked into Riddle's arms. It didn't seem to matter - the second you hit his chest, his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight against him. The similarity to what had happened not long ago earlier caused you to tremble. Riddle didn't seem to notice.

"Thank goodness." Riddle sighed in relief, burying his face into the crook of your neck. "You're not too far gone... you just need to properly learn the rules... that's a relief..."

The smile you felt caused your skin to crawl. Riddle began tracing kisses up your neck, across your jawline then connecting your lips again.

The kiss was softer this time, a chaste one that would've made your heart race if the situation wasn't so, so wrong. Even so, the fear of angering whatever you were kissing made you lightly press back. The monster in Riddle's form pulled back slowly, a child-like smile on its face.

One hand came away from your waist and ghosted against your neck. It sighed before you felt a wisp of magic circling your neck. While you couldn't see it, you felt the new accessory adorning your neck - a black choker with a red heart outlined with gold at the front; with no clasp to take it off.

Riddle hummed in approval, happy at the sight. He wasn't as pleased when he saw the look in your eyes -  a poorly concealed fear at what he'd done. He sighed, giving you a quick kiss before leaning you into his neck now instead. He raked his fingers through your hair in a soothing manner.

"I'm doing this for your benefit." He explained. "It's my fault for letting you hang around bad influences, but it's okay now. I'll make things right for you. You'll be following the rules perfectly in no time."

Riddle placed a kiss on your forehead and leaned next to your ear. He pressed a finger against the heart of your choker.

"You will, or it's off with your head."

[sinchronicity]

it's first contact day but i don't love the first contact movie so i'm watching one of my unpopular faves again, TOS: metamorphosis (ft. mr cochrane) ^_^

- god i forgot how gorgeous the score is. the music and planet design with the purple/pink sky is a huge part of why i enjoy this episode so much despite its flaws. the music creates a melancholy atmosphere that i love

- lmao in retrospect it is very embarrassing for the fleet members involved that they don't immediately recognize cochrane...surely he's a more relevant historical figure to them than like, abraham lincoln lol

- one thing i enjoy about tos is that sometimes there are episodes where kirk is just grumpy. this is one of them

- forgot that spock shakes cochrane's hand. lmao. slut.

- spock: true, his body was never found

cochrane: you're looking at it, mr spock

spock: if so, you wear your age very well

(the girls are fightinggg)

- the character of commissioner hedford is misogynistically written, but having a non-crewmember here is a great choice. i love when she cries "we're not animals!", overwhelmed by the alien-ness of the companion's actions.

- "everything's alive, cochrane! life everywhere!" im not crying YOURE crying

- cochrane knows the companion loves him, but he can't admit it. :)

- "a symbiosis of some kind. a sort of...joining" im not saying it's like a mind meld but. its not NOT like a mind meld👀

- it's kirk who names this as "love" !!

- kirk vs cochrane aka the dueling 60s masculinities

- i'm always a sucker for a judas ref u_u

- love bones begging the companion to stop hurting kirk and spock by appealing to a sense of morality that he assumes the companion has ("stop it, you're killing them")

- kirk's responsibility to his crew leading him towards antagonism! i feel like this is something trek often wrestles with. he jumps to "how do you fight a thing like that" but immediately follows it with his declaration of duty to protect the lives of spock+mccoy+hedford AND the enterprise, which is a lot of weight to bear. the situation is largely beyond his control, but: "i'm in command, bones, it makes it my fault"

- bones, the heart of the triumvirate, suggests some diplomacy - that's fun. mccoy is a shamelessly human character, prone to human prejudice, but his ethical code requires he preserve life

- i love it when scotty is acting captain tbh i respect his sort of casual professionalism

- communication = the possibility of love and true respect uwu

- the gender-based presumptions are literally so dumb & funny 😭 "she was a [feminine sounding cloud], he was a boy, can i make it any more obvious"

- literally the man must continue.

- spock: "i do not totally understand the emotion, but it obviously exists. the companion loves you"

- bones: "there's nothing disgusting about it. it's another life form, that's all. you get used to those things!" :)

- "he was loved, and he resents it" from hedford.....woof. there is something fascinating here beneath everything.

- kirk's various Speeches About Love are one of fave tos things. go off bestie!!

- the whole "different things" "you can't join" "if i were human there can be...love?" is suuuch k/s fic fodder 😩

- "love sometimes expresses itself in sacrifice" 😐

- it's both of them! the companion and the commissioner! she holds a fragment of her garment into the sky, and it looks like an alien thing.

- "i might even try and plant a fig tree. a man's entitled to that, isn't he?"

- such a conceptually interesting episode and one i think about often. i always enjoy watching it and chewing over it, the good parts and the not so good. it's very telling of the landscape of tos, for better or for worse.

[shespeaksinsongs]

You Are My New Fear | Letters To My Mom

TW: MOMMY ISSUES, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, AND ANXIETY.

Me in my game room at about five years old.

I wish somebody would have told me that that smile I used to slather onto my face so effortlessly would soon become something I forced. I'm not sure if it would have made a difference, but it's best to be prepared in any case.

-

"What's your biggest fear?" My elementary best friend asked, kicking her feet giddily under the table. We were still too little to reach the floor.

"Drowning." I'd say, with a panicked look on my face, growing pale at the mere thought of dying that way.

-

"What are you most afraid of, hija?" My dad asked on our regular morning car rides to school.

"Drowning." I'd say, without even thinking twice. The answer was almost prepared, seeing as how casually it rolled off my tongue.

-

"What's your biggest fear?" My friend asked in the comfort of her room, watching as I shifted uncomfortably in my spot on her bed.

"Becoming my mother." I'd say wishing that drowning was the most of my worries.

-

I don't know when my default answer of drowning to death switched to the terrifying idea that I would, one day, become my mother. Still, somewhere along the lines, those little moments that I would suck up to my mom and gift her pretty pictures I spent hours working on and picking daisies from my backyard for her turned into scheduling my crying for nighttime when everyone was asleep.

Slowly but surely, I became uneasy about the idea of marriage, fearing that I'd only ruin it and become a wife like my mother. The idea of having children scared me to the point where I felt I would rather sacrifice my own happiness so that my children wouldn't have to live to see the day I turn into my mom.

Because in my eyes, my mom is a monster. She's not the kind of monster that has big, sharp teeth and scary yellow eyes, and a menacing growl. She's the kind of monster that you would never suspect. She's the bloody hand, but you were the accomplice. She was the screwdriver, but you were the loose screw. Sure, she hurt you, but you let yourself be hurt by her - so really, whose fault was it?

My mom is the kind of monster that uses your vulnerability against you in the worst way possible.

-

"I'm just not feeling good right now. I feel like I'm dying, and I feel tired all the time." My sixth-grade self, awkwardly positioned in the passenger's seat, turning my head away from my mom.

"Well, you know we care about you." My mom said, stoic in her demeanor and ultimately still in how she held her body up.

It was a day I'll never forget. She picked at her fingernails and anxiously tapped the gas pedal, waiting for me to be done talking about my emotions so she could drive back "home."

Warm tears stung my eyes, forcing their way down my face in slow streams. "You don't get it, I-" I stopped, knowing it wasn't worth it to try to make my mom understand feelings she'd been adamant didn't exist.

"Ay, don't be so dramatic." My mom said, waving her hand up to dismiss me and my silly ideas. She was right. I wasn't depressed or anxious, and I definitely didn't look for any excuse possible to threaten suicide against myself. My mom said so.

-

I don't know why I kept running back to her in times of need. Maybe it was my dream version of her that I relied on to justify my ever-growing love for her. Feasibly, it was the person I wanted her to be. And perhaps, just perhaps, my expectations of her drove me to the point where I'd convinced myself my mother was the person I saw when I closed my eyes at night.

I remember telling her things, spreading rumors I'd heard about people in the family, hoping that it would make us closer. The things I did just to make her happy...

-

"Mom, I'm trying my best!" I cried on the floor, cleaning up the mess my new puppy had made. She'd pooped and peed all over the kitchen. I was exhausted, previously knocked out in my bed, when my mom called me downstairs, screaming for me to get my ass down there.

"No, you're not! You never try! You're useless! I should've never had you!" My mom yelled from the bottom of her heart (or lack thereof).

Tears welled in my eyes for the millionth time because of my mother. This wasn't the first time she'd wished me dead, and it sure wouldn't be the last time. "Mommy, please just leave me alone and let me clean up." I begged, letting broken sobs come out of my mouth. I wanted to hurt her, and I wanted to hurt her as bad as she hurt me.

My mom refused to leave, yelling at me, watching as I piteously scraped my dog's contents off the wall.

-

It's sad that the only good memories I have of my mom are those I couldn't participate in. Instead, I have stories of her youth and how caring of a mother she used to be when I was a baby - conveniently so far back that I can't remember it. It pains me more knowing how she was before she had me, her firstborn. If she were this way her whole life, would I take it so personally?

Am I dramatic for wishing I had a mother who could hug me back when I hugged her? Am I a selfish and pathetic bitch for feeling envy when I see how my friends' moms act with them? Why can't my mom love me the way she loves her? Why does my mom have more pictures of her first niece than she does of me? What did I do to her?

-

"Mommy, mommy! Look!" I said, running up to my mother, holding my report card in the air like a shiny new toy - all A's.

"Nice job, Fio. I'm so proud of you. You're doing great. Keep it up." My mom said softly, pulling me into a warm hug. Somehow, that was all I needed - that's all I wanted. It really is a shame that that memory is fake.

-

I have plenty of other fake memories that I store in my head, letting the (also fake) backstories take over my mind when I go to sleep. For one of them, I was romping around on an old swing set, one that made little squeaky noises whenever I swung too high.

Somehow, I lose control of the swing, and my mom comes rushing up to me, worried and begging for me to tell her how she could help. I don't know when or how she got there (my dad was usually the one to take me to the park), but what I do know is she's exactly who I needed there at that moment.

So many real memories I have of me needing my mother most, waiting for the day she would actually turn up in one of them. She was always the first to pick me up in school lines. She was always at my open houses. She attended every grade promotion I had. But she was never there. It was all a facade. She'd said so herself that she craved being the all-star mom, the one who'd win several gold medals if there were award ceremonies for that sort of thing.

Her perfectionism is what makes her corrupt. She has spent my entire life telling me what to do, how to do it, scolding me for not doing it the way she imagined me doing it in her head.

She refused to seek help when that's all I wanted her to do.

-

"What do you want for your birthday, hija?" My dad asked, glancing at me while keeping his eyes fixed on the road, humming along to a Christmas carol playing on the radio.

"Honestly, dad?" I asked, only twelve years old, my green eyes twinkling in hope.

"Whatever your heart desires." My dad said in a goofy voice, making me smile.

"I want Mom to get help." I said sadly, hoping my dad would agree and push the idea upon my mom.

-

My mother went to therapy for four months. My dad had to pay her every session for her to go. In my mom's life, money has never been an obstacle. Her father was a middle-high class socialite in Venezuela who worked in engineering and oil companies. Her mother, who passed away of Leukemia when she was twelve, spoiled her rotten until her very last breath.

Eventually, I became mentally sick to the core. Writing and singing, my two favorite things in the world, became hobbies, and life had lost its zesty twang. Little things like music and the people I passed on the street that waved "hello" at me became nuisances. My mom "gave up" her therapy so I could get help.

I still wonder if she did it for herself or for me.

-

A few times a year, I get asked what my biggest fear is. Sometimes it comes up in conversation. Other times I create the question, not thinking about the consequences if people answer with "Spiders, yours?"

Each time I get asked, I take a deep breath and lie. "The dark." I say now, the idea of death by sea sounding more of tranquility than a travesty.

I look back at the old pictures I have of myself, a smiley and shy little girl who was afraid of nothing and everything at the same time. To her, I ask, "When you have nothing to lose, why be afraid?"

Me, with my baby doll at age three. I loved taking care of her. I used to take her everywhere with me.

[waynewifey]

A dream of you and me—

soulmate!au

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: In a world where a dream means something more, trying to save the boy from your dreams can change your life.

Warnings: angst, crying

Words: 1900.

A/N: Thank you so much for the amazing feedback on my last fic! I’m sorry it took me so long to comeback, please remember that my requests are always open! I hope you like this.

I've always liked dreaming. It's the moment of the day where I'm taken to a random place with random people to live a priceless adventure. Tonight I dreamed with a boy. Well, I was the boy. We were running through the Hogwarts corridors, but somehow no one saw us. It was like we were invisible. We ran up to the bridge, staring at the moonlight. He was sad for an unknown reason, I could feel it. I saw his black locks blocking the vision when it winded. I've never seen his face before, but, somehow, he felt like... home. He let out a deep breath and I heard some footsteps approaching. Suddenly, the image became blurred. I let out a gasp, waking up. I stared at the ceiling for a moment, before opening my curtains, looking around and noticing it was still night. I got up and walked to the biggest window in the room. The moon looked exactly like the one in my dream. Maybe it is happening right now, I thought. But that was impossible. Well, not really impossible, more like improbable. The soulmate link was a very rare occasion. One would dream about the day or the moment the other were living for days or years, until they meet and recognise each other as soulmates. But they wouldn't see faces or hear voices, so that turned the meeting more difficult and rare. I've never met soulmates beside the ones in fantasy books.

The morning after, I woke up earlier than usual, as I could barely sleep. I got ready quickly and ran to the Great Hall. I was looking for someone who looked like they haven't slept properly, someone who may be up all night. But, to be honest, all seventh graders looked almost dead, thanks to the exams. A red head sat beside me, putting some books on the table.

"I have something to tell you." I immediately said.

"Not even a 'Good Morning'? Fine then. What is it?" Lily Evans replied. I rolled my eyes at her, beginning to speak.

"I dreamt with someone. I know it's rare but I really think it may be... that." She looked disinterested, picking her food. "Lily, I'm serious! It felt so real! And I could feel his feelings too! What should I do?"

"There's nothing to do yet, I guess. You'll have to keep dreaming and collecting clues. But maybe you could forget about it and help me with my charms assignments." She bit a piece of bread and I gave her an yellow smile. By the corner of the eye, I saw a group of boys approaching.

"Or you could ask your pain in the ass boyfriend." She scoffed, turning around and smiling at James Potter, whom were now sitting beside her, embracing her back with his arm and laughing loudly about something I didn't knew. Remus Lupin sat on my side, as usual. He was the only tolerable one in the group. He often helped me with my studies, but our relationship was very far from a friendship. Other two boys sat in front of us.

The day went by normally. Too many classes for my last two neurones. I was exited to go to my dorm and sleep, to test my theory.

I could see the dark sky and the Whomping Willow. A rat ran to the roots of the tree and pressed a small knot. The tree stoped moving. We dove into a hole next to it. After a long time walking inside of a tight tunnel, we arrived at the gardens of a house. The Shrinking Shack?! What is he doing here? We entered the house and walked to what looked like a living room. I watched as a gigantic creature approached. Some kind of wolf, but it was standing in two legs. It's arms were thin. It was looking a bit... tired? I analysed the beast carefully. A werewolf! Why was he around that monster? He was in danger!

I jumped out of  bed, running to get my robe and my wand. I left the dorms, running to the Castle Grounds. The wind was extremely cold, but I kept running. I searched for the knot on the Whomping Willow. After a few times being thrown in the air by the tree, I finally got to the secret hole. It seemed like it took me forever to get to the house. I heard a howl and a growl, which made me desperate to find my soulmate. Would he even be alive by now? I came across a bizarre scene. A werewolf, a huge black dog, a stag and a mouse – the mouse in my dreams – all laying on the floor. The werewolf turned its head to me, growling at me. The dog jumped, getting in front of me. Where was my soulmate? The werewolf tried to attack me, but the stag got on its way. They were protecting me? Why? The dog barked at me, getting my attention. He ran to the exit door, turning his head back at me, as if he were calling me. I followed him. I ran to the gardens, but the dog was gone. Suddenly, a boy came out of behind a tree, wearing a black fur robe. I annalized his face in the moonlight. I recognised his black locks from my dreams. Sirius Black.

"What are you doing here? You need to go back to the castle right now." He said, eyes not focusing on me and ears on alert, still taking care of whatever was happening in the house.

"What are YOU doing here?! Did you know that is not a regular wolf, but a werewolf?! And if it bites you-"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Now, you. Leave." He cut my speech, making me roll my eyes.

"I can't let you die! Every night I have these dreams, you're always getting yourself in trouble and-"

"You dream with me? You saw Moony?"

"Yes, Black, keep track. Stop interrupting me. Wait, who's Moony?" Sirius looked around, getting closer and lowering his voice, like he was about to tell me a secret.

"Remus Lupin. He's a werewolf. The stag is James Potter. I'm not sure if you've seen it, but the rat is Peter Pettigrew and... I'm the dog. Yeah, yeah, woof. We're animagus. Remus is under control... well, kind of. But it's still not safe for you and I need to take you back to the castle." I was stunned when he grabbed me by the elbow and made me walk all the way back. My thoughts wouldn't process, my mind was a mess.

"You're supposed to drink the tea, not stare at it, you know?" Sirius said, his voice echoing in the empty common room. I blinked for the first time in a while. I took a last look at my teacup, glancing upwards. I stared at his obsidian orbits, frowning my eyebrows trying to figure out what to say. Sirius Black was my soulmate. This guy I've never really talked to before, whom I know practically nothing about, and now I discover he's an illegal animagus, friends with a werewolf and will probably reject me so badly the angels will pity and and let me escape from hell. Because I made it quite obvious by telling him about my dreams, and he ignored it.

"I dreamt about you, you know what this means, right?" I couldn't keep the eye contact for long and quickly went back to staring at my tea. I moved in the couch to a more closed posture.

"Yeah, I understand it just fine." He said. I couldn't figure out his emotions by the tone of his voice, so I looked at him. His expression was as neutral as his tone, not helping me at all.

"Oh, okay. I wasn't expecting this." I rested my cup on the coffee table in front of us, getting up. I felt a slight spark of anger inside of me, starting to burn everything. He scoffed, leaning back on the chair. "Well I don't like that either! It's just- It seems unfair to condemn me to literal hell just because you're not happy about me being your soulmate!" The words bursted out of my mouth without a previous warning, tears forming in my eyes. I had waited for so long to see if I had a soulmate and he just scorn me like that? "I'm sorry if I'm not what you expected, but this isn't my fault!" I blubbered, gathering all the small amount strength that kept me on foot to turn around and walk away. But before I could do so, his arms embraced me in a harm and desperate hug. The smell of his hair made me dizzy, and I could honestly live there.

"I never believed in this. I never thought fate would bring someone to keep company to a person like me but- seeing you cry made my heart ache... So please stay. I don't care if we're soulmates or not, I just... need you here."

Epilogue — 3 years later.

I finished mixing the coffee and placed it at the silver tray. I took a final look: scrambled eggs, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, and bangers — it all looked delicious. Not the kind of thing I was used to do, but I definitely am good at it. I walked to our room and opened the door. He was in the same place he was when I left earlier: the bed. I put the tray on the nightstand, preparing myself to wake him up. I sat beside him, staring at his unique features. The sunlight coming through the curtains lightened his nude torso and I got myself admiring his skin.

“Breakfast in bed? Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend?” His husky morning voice, massaged my ears. “Fiancée, actually.”

“Well, I thought this was a great way to celebrate your first day of work and our three year anniversary.” I kissed the top of his head as my hands danced around on his curls. “But don’t get used to it, you’re the cooker in this relationship.”

“I love you, Y/N L/N Black.” I stared down at his face. The same face of the boy I fell in love with, a long time ago, and I remembered the first time we kissed through sobs and hugs. This was when I realised I loved Sirius Black more than anything in the world and I knew we were forever. I smiled at him and kissed him passionately.

“I love you too.” He smiled widely at me and pulled me to under the sheets, throwing my apron across the room. “You’ll be late, Siri.” Sirius rolled his eyes at me and got on top of me.

“I have more important matters to deal with right now.”

[pumpkin-stars]

Ezra (Prospect) headcanons/reaction to his significant other singing "King" by Lauren Aquilina, specifically the parts that go "You've got it all, you lost your mind in the sound/You're in control, rid of the monsters inside your head/Put all your faults to bed," after Ezra has a nightmare from what happened on The Green and feeling weak/inferior from his amputation? just his s/o singing to him and calling him their king.

Nonnie this song is so Ezra thank you for making me listen to it (it also has Frankie vibes. Basically I just wanna hug both of them and tell them it’s okay).

He wakes in a cold sweat. It’s early morning, and the shifting of the mattress beside you has become an alarm of sorts in the last few months. He has yet to get a full night’s rest, and your heart aches for him.

He hasn’t told you every detail of what happened, how he lost his arm and gained a young friend. But you’ve gleamed enough from his post-nightmare mutterings to know he blames himself for everything.

“Too quiet.” He mumbles that night. His usual complicated speech patterns stunted by the lump in his throat. His shoulder shifts, and he whimpers at the heavy absence of his limb.

You want to help him, so you reach out slowly, taking his hand in yours. He stiffens at first, then clutches back tightly.

“M’not good enough.” He says, barely audible, as though saying it aloud will make it true, will make you realise it just as sure as he knows it.

But he’s wrong. He’s more than good enough. He’s not a good man, you know that, but he is a great one.

“Ezra,” you shift closer, “you’re more than what happened out there. You’re not just your arm. You are so much more.”

He shakes his head, not even attempting to fight the tears that escape. He hasn’t cried for years, he’s never had reason to, but here and now his... his self loathing is so strong, his confidence torn to pieces...

The dam seems to break as his body curls in on itself. He pulls his arm from your grasp in an effort to wipe his face but the tears fall too fast for one hand to catch.

You shift to sit against the head of your shitty little bed, moving around before pulling him to rest between your legs, his back to your chest. Your forehead rests against the nape of his neck as your arms curl around him and you start to sing quietly.

The sound relaxes him, you know he’s not really listening to what you say, but that’s alright. Your voice is a comfort, your touch grounding. The tension leaves him slowly, and he sinks into your hold. His shoulder tucks under your chin so you sing right into his ear, and you can’t help the urge to kiss the side of his face as you stop for breath every so often.

“You’ve got it all, you’ve lost your mind in the sound. There’s so much more, you can reclaim your crown.”

His hand pulls yours together, entwining his five fingers with your ten.

“You’re in control, rid of the monsters inside your head. Put all your faults to bed.”

Your voice catches a little, and he turns his face to you. You smile, kissing his cheek, stopping a salty tear in its tracks. His head tilts, and with your lips against his you finish:

“You can be king again.”

He pushes forward, grip on your hands tightening as he pushes all his emotions into a desperate kiss.

Sadness, loneliness, despair, grief, and fear.

Gratitude, an apology, gratefulness, and love.

“King?” He wonders as he pulls away, the beginnings of a smirk tugging at his lips, the man you know emerging from the shell he’d become. “Only if you rule at my side, moonbeam.”

Masterlist

[eframschweigersskincells]

So, Return to Hell was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions and I couldn't have asked for a better ending to the season three dlc missions.

SPOILER WARNING BY THE WAY!

Holy shit was this season a wild ride and with an absolute banger of an ending all I can say is well done rebellion you pulled it out the bag and held it high, I was so happy with everything and just my god its really hard to put down everything I'm so enthralled I can barely think straight.

I remember when the trailer dropped and I was so overcome with both excitement and sadness at seeing what the dlc entailed, I was so happy to see schweiger alive but devastated to see what was happening to him and originally I thought we were going to sacrifice him to help Umbra which terrified me, thank fuck I was wrong I dont think I could handle hurting my boy.

The intro was excellent, it really felt like distressing and that this was truly a moment of despair the way bruno spoke of it was absolutely amazing and I couldn't wait to get stick in. And when it finally gave way to the gameplay the opening area was absolutely stunning!

The way it's so familiar yet so foreign, like I'd seen it before but it had been so twisted that it was unrecognisable, lava around every corner and debris floating as if frozen in time the ground and walls cracked and crumbling and the fiery hues made this a fantastic yet haunting sight I hadn't even begun playing and I already fell in love with it.

When I finally moved on and the Baron began his tirade about the state of hell and how it was shaped and molded to fit the subconscious mind of schweiger I was shocked and saddened, to think that this was schweiger's fractured mind was frightening, all his guilt, fear, anger, confusion, sadness became reality and hell took its horrifying form filled with endless undead. I also found it really cool to see events play out from schweiger's perspective, meat locker, hell base and terror lab all playing out in schweiger's memories allowing us a glimpse in to everything that happened to him. He was betrayed so many times, I don't blame him at all for turning on us in deeper than hell, the amount of cruelty he suffered would drive anyone insane.

Being captured and forced to research the occult without any understanding of why, being tricked in to activating the relic allowing hitler to activate plan Z, working your hardest to try and make the world right then have your team infiltrated by nazi bastards who push you in to a hell tower and forcefully tear you from this plane of existence and left to rot in hell. Just when you think you can finally escape you're confronted with the fact you can not leave, only your closest comrades can leaving you in hell against everyone's will, then a voice manipulates you in to believing you were betrayed by your friends you're lied to and tricked in to believing this voice is your only friend who makes you do horrific rituals.

I remember how horrific I felt hearing this and then when Umbra revealed that he did all of this so he could break schweiger's will so he could steal his body I was filled with rage. Rebellion were amazing at putting emotion in to this one I genuinely went through constant emotional shifts realising that everything we had done up to this point was planned by Umbra and that everything we had done was only to fuel his plans. It was never schweiger's fault it was umbras and that knocked me on my arse.

The gameplay was a lot of fun, one of the best parts was that absolutely everything was randomised! The main sections of the map where always switched around no matter how many times you play it at first I went meat locker, hell base then terror lab then my second time I went hell base, terror lab then meat locker! I was shocked when everything cane out of order but it fits so well with everything! Schweiger's mind is so badly fractured that when hell took form as schweiger's subconscious not even hell itself could keep things in order.

I genuinely adore how the old familiar faces of these maps are destroyed, twisted and corrupted they are what we have seen before but warped till they look like different maps entirely, with so much more to explore in some areas it really gives you a sense of walking through broken memories like piecing together a memory Efram barely has a grip on anymore.

I loved how enemies were randomised too, getting attacked by a screamer around the corner then next time you go there prepared for a screamer you get blown up by suiciders or slaughtered by skeletons or an elite or in my favourite case being attacked by zombie alpha squad members! When zombie me jumped out and attacked I was so confused I didnt have time to respond when zombie jun popped out and killed me it was fucking awesome!

All our favourite enemy variations are here too, vampire creepers, electric suiciders, armored commanders, skeletons etc which really made for a really tough but good fight, never knowing what variation was coming to get you made everything even more fun.

And with the spitters now having a variant that spat magma it made what was usually an annoying inconvenience an actual proper threat and I love that so fucking much, maybe the spitters aren't so horrible after all.

That's a lie I still fucking hate them but oh well!

Once we successfully complete all three areas we now return to the main area with a very pissed off Umbra and schweiger who although conscious is barely alive. As soon as we arrive back to were we began we are immediately attacked and dragged off to an unknown place that we only know as the void as coined by Umbra.

Let me tell you when I say the void is creepy I fucking mean it, the void is of course pitch black you cant see anything not even your flash light does anything to the surrounding darkness, all you see when you spawn is the pitch black and eframs body of a slab surrounded by candles with Umbra looking over us and you really get the the sense of "holy shit, this is it!"

I genuinely adored the design of the void, the fact you only ever see your surroundings when a split second of bright red lighting strikes and even then you only see the faint outline of distant places, walking through the endless river of blood that stops you to a near snail's pace while fending of oncoming dead is genuinely spectacular! Holy fuck did rebellion pull it out the bag this round!

Just when you think you're about to have to do something to the incapacitated schweiger, Edie finally fucking shows up and does something useful for once, breaking schweiger out of his trance and giving him enough power to fend for himself when she realises Umbra has no defences! Thank fuck because now we know how to finally end The Baron and let me tell you I couldn't be happier to get the chance at killing the bastard.

The fights were challenging and had me cornered a few times and I'll admit I died a couple times but it was absolutely worth it, there was so much going on but it wasnt overbearing, with how large the areas you had to fight the hordes in were it made the fucking insane amounts of zombies absolutely balanced, I never felt like it was impossible but never felt it was too easy either just the right balance of insanity. And to make it even better I get to listen to schweiger shit talk the Baron as we help Efram regain strength while weakening Umbra.

Listening to Umbra beg and plead for mercy was great, it really felt like we were overpowering hell itself, no matter what Umbra threw our way it did absolutely nothing and listening to schweiger come to terms with what he's done and immediately work towards redemption by putting down Umbra was heartwarming. We were the winners not Umbra.

Then finally we get to what I've been wanting to do since the beginning of the DLC, after two whole hours I finally got to put an end to the Baron, activating that ending cutscene was so satisfying and I got to put down my controller and watch.

I'll admit I was confused when Umbea sprung back to life and actually attacked, where hitler failed to stop us during hell machine Umbra full pounced, he was going to take us with him and for a second I absolutely believed we were going to die with him, the fuck tries ripping our soul out rendering us absolutely useless. Its schweiger that saves us, pulling us away from Umbra then eviscerating the fuck out of him with ease and with that The Baron himself is dead, finally the tyrant is dead and everything we had worked towards was finally put to rest.

Just before that scene ends, we see schweiger smile! He's actually happy for once, free from Umbras grip, he's faced his fears and insecurities and in the end was the one who saved us and destroyed The Baron. To see him smile was one of the greatest things ever and I'm so glad we finally got to see that.

In last few moments of the ending, we wake up on the side of a cliff with Dr schweiger by our side and as the camera zooms out we see nothing but an endless sea of lava and I'm left thinking.

What the fuck is Projekt Ragnarok?