#its not inoffensive why does nobody see that i am actually. i dont know. im i dont know what i dont i dont get it
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Okay so the pain IS never ending
#i cant get up im trying to convince myself that i dont wanna see anyone ever again but im thinking of skipping classes and it makes me. i do#dont know#i feel like i need to warn everyone about myself um trying to make it obvious. that i am not normal but i dont mean#its not inoffensive why does nobody see that i am actually. i dont know. im i dont know what i dont i dont get it#im going to throw up i cant see your face i cant let you see my face i have sort of said it but i have to wanr you and i#failed at that too i was supposed to do it i was going to warn you i am not normal about this i am not normal about anything#im nervous and obsessive i know you dont want that but if i think of you being close too much ill throw up#i am filled filled filled to the brim with fantasies from washing your hair to things i cant say to you and im sorry that. i cant help it#i am weird i have said it i tried i try always to wanr but it doesnt come out of my mouth properly and everyone just thinks i mean i cant#make eye contact and wear animal ears and ar most like horror movies but no thats not what im saying#i feel like ill dream about killing you soon this always happens and it would be fine or better if i could get it out of my head and didnt#get stuck on it so long that it turns into butterflyes and me having to go to my room#i should stop beliving i could do this but i like ppl i like ppl a lot i like having friends and weird non platonic non romantic feelings#just just just i wish i wasnt like this i cant get it out of my head every single secomd that we spent together im just just just just i#i cant say it#vent
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