#its not BAD per se i just would prefer if it didnt

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

Ive more or less come to terms with the fact that my body type naturally errs on the side of "robust" rather than "dainty" no matter how much weight I lose but I think most of this optical illusion would be alleviated by a breast reduction because honestly looking at myself in the mirror or in photos is 99% just

[the-banana-0verlord]

Answer some or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

Alright, ill try lmao

1.no, i dont have freckles!

2. I WISHED i found Coffee and tea good because its so aesthetic but it tastes bad imo

3. I checked my spotify and its girls just wanna have fun by cyndi lauper so i suppose its that

4.i move a lot but i usually end up on my side.

5. I move too much to sleep with a lot of them because they always end up on the floor. Although i do sleep with my malleus plushie.

6. Thats a hard one, because i do both. Though i think of writing as my primary hobby/eventual job, i definitely have more fun drawing(until art Block comes knocking that is)

7.depends on the thickness. Right now i have three eith two being thin and one being medium, but i could sleep with one really thick one.

8. Mitski!!! I love her so much. Otherwise I like mother mother and marina

9.the third of november!

10. 154 cm or 5 feet. No that is not short

11. Blue-grey-kaki. I like to think of them as blue.

12. All my mutuals, all my irls, my mom, my dad, and my little sister

13. Abandonnent, failure, the future in general.

14. Yellow and light blue!

15.fall! Its so pretty

16. Im not sure yet but i can maybe have someday a small tattoo. Im not a fan of qhoel body tattoos for myself.

17. Well my ears a pierced but im not gonna get more.

18. My two irls! Talking about not getting neuvillette in gneshin ;-;(and murder)

19. I dont have a best friend per se, although i do have a closest friend. Weve been friends for at least three years(already? Damn)

20. Honestly i miss my first mutual on here. I hope they come back soon ;-;

21. It just started but its been pretty good up til now!

22. About 9-10 hours?

23. I mean, there is bound to be other forms of life in space, just thousands of lightyears away.

24. Monday cause my friend said she didnt think we were friends.

25. Id say 1890 to 1900? Though the living conditions were meh i like the aesthetic

26. Generally being silly ig? I suppose i act childihs as a comic relief.

27. Currently my favorite book(s) is the Truly Devious series by Maureen Johnson! It's been clawing it's way into my brain.

28. I'm actually doing quite fine. I'm a bit stressed since i'm going to boston soon but i can push out the bad thoughts!

29. I usually procrastinate decisions as far as possible. If it's a small one maybe like 2 minutes but if it's bigger ones it'll take longer(with the answer being no a lot)

30. Something i'm dreading but also am excited for is summer! Bye school but hello summer job ;-;

31. My irls and i(can i really call them irls? i met only two of them irl and once or twice. anyways-) are planning a roadtrip after we're all 18(aka in a bit more than 4 years)!

32. Either my friend's (irls+ moots) houses or in paris. I've always wanted to see paris.

33.open, my cats need to be free to walk in and out!

34. sunflowers and roses(i have a list on the meaning of each rose color) daisies are also cute.

35. i...guess? i own a banana shaped stress ball(that is very dirty i dont use it much) but idk if it counts as a squish.

36. yes, almost more than my first name. although my first and second name are kinda in the same name. it's like first name-second name.

37.cats!!! I have two(named chicken nugget and nebraska)(my family also owns dogs but oh well)

38. I'm a bit scared of heights but i wouldn't say i have a phobia

39. i usually go to sleep at 10:30 pm on weekdays, and 11:00-11:00 on weekends(when i don't have to wake up early due to sunday class)

40.Although i haven't been to a real beach a lot, i like it! And i always prefer sunny days so sun it is(to experience sunset on a beach... must be the dream)

41. I'd say the owl house! It's so colorful with two of my main kins.

42. @xen-blank @thehollowwriter @quartztwst @boopshoops @saionjeans (so sorry for the tag non-moots! Also i would've included all my moots but it said five ;-;)

43. Yes, i have five siblings! One oldest sister, two older brother, a little brother and the baby of the family, my little sister. i have middle child syndrome.

44. Either my mom or my little sister. I hug and say i love you to them very often. Or i said it to malleus last. One of them.

45. Tbh i have no idea in which circomstances i would die for something. maybe if i could trade my life with someone's close to me. or for peace on earth idk.

46. a big ol hug from my malleus plushie. it's a real emotional support.

47. no i have not. or maybe i did. i will probably forget it soon.

48. my two parents absolutely.

49."I wish to expérience it someday" (speaking of old lady gossip)

50. can i send you the same questions? :3

[iron-sides]

@suzaojou sorry to pull u out of replies but i am a yapper at heart and ur askbox was closed so

especially 90's shonen

ok so i have really not seen a lot of 90s shonen so i cant per se dispute this but i would like to point out that like. how relevant is 90s shonen to the current anime fandom landscape? like, a fair few are considered classics sure but of the top 10 list i looked up bc i couldn't think of any (i confess i prefer shojo) i mostly recognized shows with modern remakes?

the original post was talking mostly about modern fandom culture and the big shonen fandoms rn are jjk, bnha, csm, one piece (which is a 90s shonen to be fair but its also one piece), demon slayer, hunterxhunter (which again to be fair is a 90s shonen remake). of these: ive heard jjk has good girls, bnha has good girls, csm has good girls, and demon slayer does too. idk abt hxh or op but like do u see my point rn? most of them have interesting female characters & id argue if u only watch anime with bad female characters thats maybe a user error

Take Sakura, literally only became a ninja because her crush was gonna become one, it took freaking forever for her to gain any interesting powers.

idk man i havent seen naruto bc its pretty universally agreed to be not very good also i just googled it and it came out in 2002 so idk if thats counts as a 90s shonen? but idk as i said ive not seen much 90s shonen or naruto so youre the expert here

MHA has an interesting problem in which the female characters are very well written and likable but isn't it interesting that none of the main girls are powerhouses.

ochakos been a powerhouse since the sports festival what are you talking about. she had that whole fight with bakugo remember sure she didnt win bc hes the 2nd most important character in the whole show but she definitely proved she has what it takes and then some and not to MENTION toga??? sure horikoshi underutilizes them but horikoshi underutilizes all the side characters imo

The physical designs are a whole different beast.

yeah no the physical designs are a whole other thing bc its crazy to me that we never discuss the fact that kirishimas is just as revealing as momos but ig thats fine because hes a guy. and sure it IS different but thats more a conversation abt fanservice & its place in anime than about fandom misogyny imo

[misogynistic person who is biased against women and favors men in all circumstances] wow it's so crazy that in literally every show and book and movie ever made all the male characters are likable and sympathetic but all the female characters are shallow and irrational... obviously this is the fault of the writing and nothing to do with me

[severeearthquakebanana]

Ok so i cranked through like 15 episodes of the ‘92 series and then got impatient so i switched over to sailor moon crystal that came out in 2014 so i could watch the storyline and then i’ll bounce back after. Anyway first arc, definitely liked it. Still prefer the ‘92 anime art style but that’s neither here nor there. Something about it is just softer. Second arc that i’m currently in? Ehhhhhh its not bad per se, but WHY oh WHY did you have Usagi be jealous of a child (even if plot made her not technically a child but Fairy Tail tried to do that and it was bullshit there too) AND THEN you had her be romantically interested in her father?!?!? Like i’m all for the whole love triangle thing and i like the character arc of Small Lady BUT YOU DIDNT HAVE TO MAKE HER THEIR GODDAMN DAUGHTER!!!! Either have her be a love triangle thing OR have her be their daughter, or like you can have her be jealous of the friends. Actually yeah! Having her steal all the guardians because she heard all about their friendship and she was super lonely cause she could never grow up, yeah, i think that would be great! She could still steal Mamo sure but like they didn’t need to kiss.

Ok ok i’ve made it through the next episode and i stand by my previous point. I like the character arc of Chibiusa/Small Lady. She still didn’t need to be kissing her dad. I suppose i should get over it anyway considering the fact that Usagi is 14 and Tuxedo Mask is like 18 or something. There’s plenty of weird stuff, it is a 90s manga/anime. Still kicks ass tho lol

[fixielixie]

I was like an cql only at the beginning but then made my way through the adaptions? I don't hate cql per se, I think some of the wangxian scenes are pretty cute ngl like the bunny lantern scene and the way they brought that up again at the ending? That was cute. I also like Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo but the rest of the cast was kind of weak (maybe Liu Haikuan was good too idk I kinda liked his LXC) Honestly I just heard so much bad stuff about the novel that I was expecting it to be really bad but now I like it a lot more? Some things don't make any sense tbh in cql and I'm like ???? I also heard that JC was gonna be a very good (as in morally good etc.) character in the novel and all the novel did was make me hate him more.

I seriously wish I would've tagged all the stuff with mdzs fanart tho because I'm too lazy to change it now ugh.

tbh i can see why someone would like cql if that was the only exposure to the mdzs universe they had. i didnt like it mostly due to personal preference, it was too slow paced for me and i didnt feel attached to anyone even after watching like four episodes. it wasnt until months later that i read mdzs when i realised they were from the same franchise. a lot of my annoyance now mostly stems from fans of the show acting like the drama is the only "Good" version of mdzs, when honestly, in terms of quality and story telling is far worse than literally every other adaption. i just dont like it when people clearly like cql more because they like the look of the actors and their scenes together and try to make it into some 'its a better story than the original' bullshit they always pull because it clearly isnt.

i really wish i liked the untamed casting more than i do, because i really wanna see the wangxian scenes and enjoy watching them. but i watched the donghua after reading the novel so by the time i remember what cql!wangxian looked like i already had a very set image of what they looked like in my head and cql just wasnt living up to it. im just really nick picky tho, i just dont like how they styled wwx, i dont like his hair, his clothes, how you can barely tell if its 20 years in the past or the present day. woh managed to have such good styling with, what i can only assume, a much shitter budget, so im extra bitter now. im so happy you decided to give the book a chance even with so much negativity surrounding it, and made up your own opinion on whether you like it or not. like so many cql onlies put people off of reading the book and forming their own opinion, or people 'skim' read the book, and then act like that gives them the higher ground to shit on it and say its worse than cql.

also the jiang cheng thifdbgjkf cql is as good as jiang cheng is gonna get, the donghua a close second (the only reason its not first is that it doesnt shove quiet as much jiang trio stuff in our face, mostly bc there isnt the time for it). i honestly think that the book, manhua and audio drama are the only ones that portray jiang cheng as the piece of shit he Is.

[notyixiangs]

this is interesting! do take what i said with a grain of salt because i wrote it while sleep deprived in like a 6 am yapping session, it wasnt meant to be a well thought out thesis/ dissertation kind of thing

i agree with some of the points u made btw:

- yes i dont think mu qing is nice but he is kind. thats what i tried to convey in my og post too. i guess some of it is arguing about semantics but in my book/my definition of the word, he is kind & has good intentions towards those he cares about (medicine scene, saving fx, cursed shackle...), he just doesn't admit to it and believes otherwise

- re: "cruelty" vs sarcastic attitude. yeah i probably worded that a little awry lol. i feel like more than anything he's cruel to himself as opposed to those around him but again, semantics, depending on how you define the word cruel. but my reading of the word is that he's definitely abrasive, sarcastic and cold & makes himself difficult to get along. but he doesnt actually intend to harm anyone severely, especially not those he cares about

- i also think he wants to be a good person! but i dont think its so blatant and on the surface for him... to me it's something he truly desires but it's sequestered deep under his skin. i do think he's developed the "not a good person" mentality and accepted it as self preservation but deep inside wants to be better because yes, of course its hurting him! (i think we agree there?) when i say subcutaneous i mean metaphorically its not immediately obvious on the surface. it's just that he himself would brush it off and coat it in resin & say oh its just bc im protecting myself (even though its in fact, self destructive). i think where we disagree is that you think he *knows* hes destroying himself this way but for me i think he needs a little nudge to admit that to himself sometimes- while i think he knows its hurting him greatly subconsciously, i also think hes faked & hidden it so much that hes even managed to "gaslight" himself into appearing indifferent about it (as well as convincing everyone around him that he isnt "good")

- about xie lian & mu qing's power imbalance pre xianle era. but i personally think xl didnt *purposefully* treat Mu Qing as a servant- he tried to be as accommodating as possible and he didnt have bad intentions per se. but intent ≠ consequence & the power imbalance still shows through & has affected mq deeply bc theres such a great discrepancy in their lived experiences & imo prince era xie lian had been quite ignorant as to what was going on even if he didnt mean it. i still do prefer the newer revised ver but thats a personal taste thing i guess.

soz im still sleep deprived rn so some of this might also be worded weird but thats my piece lol

in the end i reiterate alternative interpretations & readings are inevitable because theyre shaped by the individual readers experience but interesting to think about :)

i was saying this on my twitter so i’m just moving it here so that i can add more because the character count limit on twitter was bothering me but anyway

i think mu qing can be very contradictory when it comes to his perception of the self. ie he's insecure about himself and that there is an element of self dislike, but at the same time he has a very strong ego & feels wronged & undervalued by those around him. on one hand he thinks he deserves better from the world and what fate has dealt him and id say he even feels angry about the injustice of it all despite his insecurities. he's a very prideful person and takes pride in the things he knows he's capable at, but the pride also means he's particularly sensitive when his flaw are torn open & seen. but on the other hand, there are weaknesses about himself he strongly despises, and he is prone to jealousy/not feeling "enough". it's the strange mix of feeling like he's very capable but still berating himself because he could do better. he thinks he could surpass what fate's dictated for him so why hasn't he? but usually he sequesters all these insecurities away so they can't be seen, & encases himself behind this cool acerbic exterior such that only his capabilities shine through

re: him believing that he is not a good person & saying that there's no point in being one—i think he believes he is simply not a good person but for the most part meets this belief with indifference and treats it almost casually? almost like "this is just a fact take it or leave it" & he doesn't consciously think too much about it. but i think all this stems from him growing so accustomed to this belief for a very long time, which he'd only developed because he sees it as essential to survival. he indulges in fallacies like "there's no point in being kind" because it's a mode of self preservation and it's born from his disillusionment from being denied trust & leniency so many times. and since he has spent so long living behind that mask that he kind of melds into it to the point where it's hard to even distinguish where his "old", more vulnerable self ends and where his new "protected" one starts—hence he ends up believing he really just isn't a good person, but to him that's a fact that causes him surprisingly little grief at first glance

but i feel like deep down he wishes that maybe in another world he could be allowed to wear a softer skin, but he's accepted it doesn't work in this one. like i don't think he consciously thinks "i hate myself because i'm a bad person" since he thinks there's merit in sharpening his edges for self protection as long as he's left unperturbed. but the wish to be a better person is a more subcutaneous thing that he doesn't really see unless he's pushed to realize it imo

BUT what i do think is that when someone tries to treat him kindly & offer him tenderness for the 1st time in his life all that faux assurance would crumble because he isn't used to it and he doesn't understand how to accept nor face it. in a way it's like. he can justify (to himself) the act of being cruel because it's a way to combat the world being inherently cruel to him—but what happens when it isn't? what happens when someone subverts this entire idea of "all the world's out to get me so the only recourse is to hurt it before it can hurt me" and prove that wrong i think it'd rly shake him up and that's the moment when his insecurities and veiled self hatred would shine through

in the revised xlmq reconciliation, he says he refused to admit xie lian was a good person who had always held unconditionally kind intentions for mu qing because he wouldn't know face xie lian had he realized xl was kind. hence he convinced himself into thinking xie lian is faking his kindness and almost manufacturing a resentment towards xie lian, but admits that in the end bridge scene that this was all some twisted form of wishful thinking on his part

but then he turns around and contradicts himself because i think he IS kind to those who are innocent. he CAN BE A KIND PERSON!! imo he cares deeply for a select few people but just doesn't show it. he takes care of children & cares deeply for his mother but because of that belief that he just isn't kind & because he's so used to sponging all the world's damage by making himself cruel, the moment he's treated differently from what he thinks is the norm and given the slightest sliver of lenience he cannot handle it and all those axioms immediately crumble & then his world entirely subverts and he goes shit, how could i have ever even thought that way? i think there is a part of him that thinks he's destined to never find *affection* nor be treated gently specifically no matter how much he yearns for it

when he looks at people like xie lian who are extremely kind and forgiving i feel like there's a part of him that goes well. i know i can never measure up to that kind of "goodness" and i wish there was a world in which i could be like that but it's been proved impossible for me so its fine if i just stick to the pragmatic ideals i have (which aren't wrong, either). and i feel like pre-fall of xianle he can chalk this up to "well xie lian had it better than me which is why he can afford to be this kind but I can't afford to be like that and it's okay" but that gets flipped on its head because after everything xie lian has been through that argument just doesn't hold true for him anymore and some of his resentment comes from this "how could he live through all that and still remain true to his original idealistic values?" mindset. the new revised xlmq reconciliation is really interesting to me because in the old version he says something along the lines of "i can't change some of these twisted beliefs i have about you but in the end, i still admire you" whereas in the new (which i infinitely prefer) he says "these twisted beliefs i had about you were simply there because i made myself believe them or else i wouldnt know how to face you"

in the end my view of him is heavily shaped by my taste in fiction and the themes and character traits i like thinking about, the things i'm drawn in by, & my own experiences as well, in my head i usually only envision him as the version that i'm most interested in exploring which is actually a very very very flawed person. and it's like. idk. maybe my reading of him is different from what mxtx originally intended or different from what other people may derive from the source material but i think that's inevitable for any shared work of fiction

[actualbird]

okay. okay, i know this is probably an unpopular/unorthodox take but. in a dghda good omens au i just think it would be really really interesting to entertain the possibility that dirk is crowley and todd is aziraphale

now hear me out

dirk, an angel who did not fall so much as flail vaguely downwards. he didnt do anything bad, per se. he just had way too much curiosity than what was acceptable for an angel. he was always asking questions, and ended up hanging with the wrong crowd, a bunch of demons who had promised him answers. he trusted the wrong people, didnt even get the answers he was promised, and next thing he knows he’s been cast out of heaven and his wings were scorched black. 

dirk, now a demon, who is kinda rubbish at being a demon. who mostly just lets humans do whatever and takes credit for it so that the downstairs doesnt get all up in his business. dirk who thinks that inventing selfies and traffic jams is proper demonic activity. dirk isnt evil so much as an incredible nuisance, and he is good at it. the best, really. and he’s come to learn that annoyed humans do all the evil making on their own.

todd, a principality who does not ask questions, who kinda just accepts things as they come. todd who has been stationed on earth since the beginning of time and slowly, upon seeing what humanity is capable of, has grown to be a little gruff and cynical. he’s still good! or at least he hopes he is, because it’s kinda in the job description of being an angel that he should be good, but he doesnt think he’s doing a stellar job at it. every time he does some miracles, humans always find a way to muck it up. wherever he spreads peace, in a few decades, conflict always breaks out. todd feels like an exhausted janitor of sorts, working so hard to influence people to the Good and getting disappointed whenever people just end up as, well....people.

todd isnt bad at being an angel, he just thinks it’s an absolute slog. not that he’d admit that to anybody. well, anybody other than dirk, when they both meet up and get spectacularly drunk and complain about their respective Sides.

also, theyve been in love with each other for 6000 years but you have GOT to know that already.

other fun things to imagine

todd collects records. he’s always been a huge fan of music ever since humans invented it, and records have had a soft spot in his heart ever since they were created. todd needs a place to put all these records, so he opens a record shop where he sells nothing and is an absolute and utter asshole to any customer to make sure nobody ever tries to buy any of his stuff. one notable time, somebody came in and said “is this a record store?” to which todd replied, surrounded by records, “no.” before shutting the door and locking it.

dirk drives a car, but “drives” and “car” are relative. when dirk says he “drives”, he means that he’s on a mission to break nearly every single traffic rule he can and also give todd a heart attack. when dirk says “car” he means he has a vehicle that changes form between whatever is the flashiest, prettiest car available at that given time period. he does this because he is absolutely vain and also because he knows that humans seeing somebody recklessly drive a very expensive car pisses them off

between the two of them, dirk is the one who mingles with humans a bit more. he’s got the personality for it, or maybe just the utter lack of care of what people think of him. todd prefers to stay out of the way of most humans, only really going in when he has a job to do or selfish earthly pleasures he wants to secretly indulge in (what? he likes concerts? and in his defense, he can make sure that whatever concert he’s at is like....super good, or whatever). but because of dirk’s mingling, this often gets him into trouble. lots of it. and todd, without fail, always comes to save him. dirk always, always tries to thank todd, but todd never accepts it on the grounds that getting thanked by a demon probably isnt proper. 

todd has this habit of reminding dirk hes a demon and dirk has long learned how to stop being offended by it. he figures that todd is just a repressed bastard that needs to justify every little thing to himself, so whenever todd does this, dirk just shrugs and says “whatever keeps you sane, angel.”

and just because im self indulgent, a snippet of how i imagine The Beginning:

“I don’t see what’s so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway,” Dirk says at The Beginning. Todd, next to him, raises his eyebrows. Todd didn’t know demons were in the business of pouting. “Shouldn’t that help them, in the long run?”

“Isn’t wanting to know too much the whole reason why you got in trouble in the first place?” 

Dirk shifts from foot to foot, guilty. “Well...”

“I don’t think we’re supposed to know. Things. The Great Plan.” Todd says, frowning at how ridiculous it sounds and how, for some reason, he doesn’t want to sound ridiculous in front of Dirk. “It’s supposed to be, y’know. Completely impossible to understand. Nobody can put it into words. Nobody should.”

“That seems awfully convenient,” Dirk hums. He looks at Todd, squinting. “Didn’t you used to have a sword?”

“Uh.” Todd looks to the side, inspecting a patch of desert that has become very interesting to him suddenly. 

“You did! It was very impressive, flaming and everything. Where is it?

“Yeah, see---”

Dirk gasps, delighted, “Did you lose it already? This early in the game?”

“I didn’t lose it!” Todd snaps. He takes a breath. Reins himself in. “I just. Gave it away.”

“You gave it away---”

“They needed it more than I did!” Todd says, and he stops himself before he can say more. He doesn’t need to justify himself to a demon. Right?

“Hm,” Dirk looks thoughtful. “I suppose that was rather nice of you.”

“It’s not nice,” Todd says. “It’s...good. Hopefully.”

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t,” Dirk says. “One on hand, helping humans does seem to be the correct course of action for your kind. On the other, I’m unsure if them having a great flaming sword is part of The Great Plan, or whatever it is. Or if you had the right to give the thing away in the first place. Would this count as disobedience? Or is it not, because nobody’s come down and called you out for it, yet? Good and evil seem completely relative, if you think about it.”

“You’re not making me feel any better,” Todd grumbles.

“You know, it’s kind of funny, actually,” Dirk smiles. It catches Todd off guard, Dirk’s smile. It’s bright and kind, nothing like what he assumes demons must be. “What if you did the wrong thing and I did the right one? Funny if we got it both wrong, huh?”

"Not really,” Todd says.

Dirk looks towards the horizon. The grey storm clouds creeping in. Above them, the first drops of rain begin to fall.

“No,” Dirk says. “I suppose not.”

Todd looks at Dirk, the demon, the serpent that tempted the first humans into going out of God’s favor, and sighs. Todd raises one wing above Dirk’s head, and Dirk smiles gratefully, shuffling under its cover.

okay. okay im done. for now.

[elijahfitz]

and introduction.

meet elijah.

hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!

some fun facts abt elijah:

he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:

his name was elijah

he was 2 (born on february 28th)

his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could

they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life

he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.

his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.

but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed

he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.

when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.

has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems

growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF

eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.

he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.

when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.

until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role

thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)

he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips

this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.

he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember

like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running

that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask

he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age

he probably is at the party bc royals? idk

EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.

wanted connections!!

obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon

one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed

childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking

people who know him solely through his family

someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints

people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk

someone who was w eli in the orphanage

past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp

idk, legit anything. send me those plots man

[yumenosakiacademy]

ok twt released this thread where it shows a ton of met gala looks n lets go in2 opinions bc im bored n hungry (note: most of these r not taking in2 account the theme of the gala, which was “in2 america” or w/e, but i do mention it occ. i see it not as a requirement, but if they go w the theme in a specific or obvious way, it’s smth 2 note) (note2: this is only covering the ppl in the thread, not any others tht were omitted, bc there r apparently Others tht werent in the thread)

holy shit the absolutely dreamy looking pink gown on billie? beautiful. princess-like. loving the hazy look to the long train. could use some accessories/jewelry tho, methinks. but even w/o it, it’s a lovely dress.

harris reed... not a fan. i was willing 2 say it was Ok but i noticed the bottom half was, in fact, NOT  dress layered w feather, but a sleek gold dress n then this weird sparse feather thing tht hangs over it n i went oh tht’s a no 4 me

j.lo’s outfit gives me pimp vibes im living 4 it. it radiates Power.

nas’ 1st outfit (the puffy gold 1) isnt all tht appealing 2 me... mayb if the puffy arm parts were replaced w smth tht jus draped from the shoulders or a mid-high collar 2 resemble a king’s cape but it looks a lil silly. 2nd outfit (gold suit) is p bold, i can dig it. not much 2 say on it bc it’s jus a gold suit of armor, ngl, but it’s not smth u see at a gala, so tht’s unique. 3rd outfit (gold bodysuit) was v pretty i like it.

grimes’ outfit honestly makes me think space warrior or smth n i rly like it? i dont typically like tht hairstyle, n the pattern on the outfit is still a lil eh, but i like the metallic mask n the makeup n the way the fabric drapes in gradient to black at the bottom. also a SWORD? is tht even allowed?? like, it apparently Was but surely they mustve got it checked out w met gala b4 bringing it, right? fun fact, it’s made from a melted AR-15, which kinda goes w the america theme, ironically enough. idk i rly dig this odd look.

love the dress n hair on lupita!! luv the glitter n overall shape tho n her hair!! is so pretty honestly. idk who this lady is but shes stunning.

frank ocean’s outfit is simple n ok BUT i dont the weird ugly robotic baby he was carrying. the outfit it had on too? like this... weird green patterned onesie or smth? UGLY as hell. at least chose a better onesie if ur gonna hav the weird baby prop... it doesnt even match w his outfit n the pattern is such a fucking ugly 1.

megan fox rly out here giving us devil mistress  holy shit. it looks cool as all hell i luv it. hot as Hell, pun intended. 

addison rae looks boring, im ngl :I the dress isnt all tht pretty n it’s kinda simple. like, not inherently ugly, per se (tho im not a v big fan of how it looks at the top of the dress) jus... feels basic. 

ciara’s is football-themed, thus does matcht he theme 4 the event, america, n i do like the shade of green she used also glittery fabric n the shape of the dress near the bottom, but the parts to the side of the dress where it shows skin feel like they bring the look down, honestly... if it didnt hav them, it’d look better. but bc it has them, im not personally a big fan. 

barbie ferreira is giving flapper vibes, n w the theme being america tht’s v fitting! lots n lots of pearls~ id say quite a few too Many pearls, as i wouldve preferred more fabric n stuff? but i can see what she was going for n i dont terribly dislike it! it’s ok. 

kim’s outfit is ugly, end of story. dont try 2 go 4 so unique tht it looks awful. unique? yes. no1 wouldve expected tht, but it’s so...?? why cover ur face n everything else n then make it look so Odd i jus.. ew. no. 

kendall on the other hand looks nice! draping jewels (esp diamonds or smth in tht whitish-grey sparkly color) n transparent fabrics r a classic tht’s used v often n the same applies here. looks nice! luv the way the jewels curve down.

ppl in the replies r calling olivia rodrigo’s outfit boring n while i can kinda agree, it doesnt look too terribly bad? i dig the outfit, esp the lace fishnet fabric. i think it’s p cute! but compared to all of these pretty gowns, yea it might b a bit underwhelming. not ugly tho!

ppl r rly ecstatic abt lorde’s outfit on the other hand, but i dont like it? the fabric reminds me of like, curved construction paper or tortillas n it jus feels p boring 2 me i dont like it at all :I

miss biles... it just is Not hitting. mayb if the puffy gray fabric didnt suddenly widen at the hips it’d still b a bit more acceptable, albeit still not great, but the texture on the grey, puffy, prob heavy fabric isnt great n is jus too like.. dense-looking i dont like it at all. 

justin n hailey look boring. tht’s jus a normal black suit n black dress, bro. absolutely NOTHING special. i do like hailey’s dress, esp the neckline, but dear god theyre both jus so bland? no accessories? no nothing? tht’s jus a straight narrow black dress, hailey. tht’s jus a regular suit, justin. this is the Red Carpet.

gigi... nice hair n gloves n accessories (tho the necklace doesnt rly seem 2 match? it seems a bit golder) but the dress?? ugly. Ugly. i dont care if ppl r praising her in the twt replies. the stiff fabric of the bland, boring outer dress makes it all the fucking worse. like a cardboard roll only more flexible bc Fabric.

i like the red, white, n blue draping fabric on saweetie’s outfit, also it ties in w the ameria theme, but the rest of the outfit (or, as much as i can see bc her front is kinda obscured in the photo) jus.. isnt pretty.

i rly rly luv the dress on naomi, my word! the colors swirl rly nicely together, but i think the black part of the dress would b nicer if as a lower arm coat or smth instead of attached 2 the dress like how i think it is. also dont like her hairstyle, but i think it’s referencing smth cultural n has meaning tht i jus dont understand so! cant say much abt tht. the main dress part tho is rly nice.

chalamet is good until the converse gjhsdn why did he think.. tht converse (or shoes resembling them, as some1 in the replies said they might not actually b converse) would b red carpet appropriate. also the crotch of the pants shouldve been a bit higher imo cuz it looks like its a bit lower, like harem pants but not baggy or quite as low.

i luv the blue glitter gown on miss gorman! wow how glittery! n tht’s not sarcasm btw i genuinely luv glitter gjhsnd but it fits the america theme n is such a bright eye-popping color.

[gghero]

🔥 pokemon and SU

OKAY THIS IS LONG. WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. MORE THAN AN UNPOPULAR OPINION POST, IT TURNED INTO AN ALL-OUT OPINION POST

putting it under a cut; the pkm one is way longer and more detailed, SU is a plain ol unpopular opinion post and shorter so im putting it first.

SU:

honestly, i’ll be the first to say that the show is not perfect, that the characters cant stay on model (its still not enough to bother me or ruin everything because, cmon, im getting to watch the show for free) that the crew have made mistakes, that certain characters deserve better/worse, that certain lessons felt out of place, and all that jazz.

but hey, its not the worst thing to ever happen. i found SU while it was at its peak (late season 1 - early season 2, the best SU has ever been IMO) and even though im trying to not interact with the fandom anymore because of some toxic stuff that happened, i find myself enjoying the storyline, the worldbuilding is great and everything about the art style that is not proportions (backgrounds, palettes, character design) is arguably some of the best in current animation.

my beef with the fandom and most critical blogs is that the discourse sounds like the same stuff over and over and the general attitude is very snarky and condescending. my rule of thumb is that if youre going to critique something, you have to also give your ideas on what you would do in their place. i also felt talked down to everytime i interacted with them, and most people dont even know how to discuss things so any valid points they might bring up didnt phase me after rolling my eyes at their behavior. they also tend to treat their opinions as the objective truth - or only reblog from their fellow critic blog friends.

pokémon:

oh, pokémon. one of my most beloved video game franchises of all times. yet theyre not exempt from criticism. of course, none of what im about to say ruins the experience for me (otherwise, i wouldnt still play the games and making fanarts, DUH) 

the games. first of all i have to say that theyre incredibly engaging. i find myself caught up in the hype before a big reveal, preordering and picking up the new game as soon as it comes out, and then playing non-stop until im satisfied with it... and usually thats it. yeah. one of my biggest complaints about pokemon is how replayable the games COULD be, if only gamefreak did the simplest thing of just adding more save slots. of course, ive ended up deleting old save files in order to replay a game, and thanks to pokebank i can keep my babies, but cmon. all the items you collected, the complete pokedex, how far you went in the battle chateau/battle tree/etc... its all lost forever. the game would also be infinitely more replayable if the post game were more extensive (rather than being like “here, go to the battle building of this generation and battle”). i think implementing side quests or achievement unlocking that gives you in-game perks would add so much.

ALSO GAMEFREAK please stop adding and changing and removing features that we like every single generation!!!! i was not bothered by character customization being removed in ORAS because i understand its a remake and they wanted to keep something similar to the original designs of may/brendan but!!!!! The PSS was GREAT, but you replace it with festival plaza that was... not great!!! you take away pokemon amie, which allowed more experienced players to farm hearts very fast via the minigames!!! you took away the super training!!!!! it makes it look like they dont know what theyre doing, and i understand that they want to shake things up, but i stg if we dont get ride pokemon in gen 8 and instead we are back to HMs, im gonna scream.

my next complaint is how... small the games feel. im not asking for an open world yet (short answer; yes i believe its doable) but the amount of hand holding and tutorials in the last games bothers me, not to mention how limited the exploring feels when compared with older games? dont get me wrong, the gym/trials system is not bad per se - its mostly the map, its soo so so tiny and easy to navigate. i feel like they could look at earlier zelda and mario games and do something similar; an exploration mechanic like twilight princess’s would work so well. you have huge areas to explore while keeping it closed-world, and i never found myself getting tired of roaming around hyrule. in comparison, routes in pokemon feel very small, towns especially are SO tiny, and pokemon is a franchise that would REALLY benefit from the sense of adventure that non-linear larger maps offer.

next is the art direction. im definitely not a genwunner; i think some pokémon designs are good, others are not as good, but i dont have a huge bias towards, say, kanto (kanto’s good designs are good, but kanto’s bad designs are the worst, if it makes sense?) if i had to choose, i’d say gen 2, 3 and 4 are the ones that better represent what i want pokemon to look like in general, but that might be because i love monster-like pokemon like ampharos, swampert, garchomp - huge and bulky-looking pokemon - rather than pokemon that look too much like regular animals or inanimate objects. 

human character design is also good. they have been doing great in terms of racial diversity lately, but i do wish there were more “not-paper-thin skinny” characters (especially women) (and the ones that are fat/obese dont look suspiciously more cartoony/comic relief-y than the main characters); and older characters as well, specially women. 

i think my fave art direction is from black/white (1 and 2), the stylisation, clothes design and especially color palettes were gorgeous. i like a lot how the eyes and highlights/shading looked in black/white (1 and 2) - i think it was Take who did most of the art, instead of Sugimori and Ohmura.

(im sorry but im feeling the top image squad look much more)

my biggest complaint about pokemon’s art direction is that the 3D simply doesnt look its best as of now. im not a fan of the pixel-y black outline all models have, the colors of most pokemon in their 3D models look so washed down in general, and the backgrounds really suffer from this. i must say that changing the angle from a zenit POV to a third person camera in sun/moon was a step in the good direction, you get to see further in the distance and feel like the world is immersive. 

the color palettes for backgrounds could be better too, they have definitely taken a step in the wrong direction and went from this:

(pretty, muted but not extremely pastel or washed down; nice colors, those greens and browns are gorgeous - and yeah sorry about the bottom pic having a slight filter on, but cmon, its not like base game looks much different, remember?)

to this:

(aggressive colors, dont give me a sense of harmony, that extremely orange dirt and sky and almost neon green grass make my head hurt)

i have to say i preferred how the pixel-y, half 2d half 3d style of gen 4 and 5 looked, imo its the best pokemon has ever looked, but they clearly dont have the technology to make breathtaking, fully 3D games yet. i’d say its a necessary evil though so im hopeful for the future. and no, i dont want hyperrealistic textures or pokemon designs either (pokken style is so detailed it feels a little uncanny valley at times, specially with less realistic pokemon like gengar or gardevoir). ideally, pokemon will look like breath of the wild’s 3D character models, with that watercolor-ish style, the cell shading and the vibrant vivid colors. AND NO OUTLINES PLEASE.

finally the last point about the games is the storylines. I generally like pokémon storylines. they’re very good when you are caught up in the action, specially as of late, theyre adding cutscenes and dialogue-heavy scenes that dont feel out of place. but i cant bring myself to LOVE THEM as much as i love other videogame storylines. they still feel a little basic (this is not a problem because of the game’s formulaic nature, mind you) and while they havent shied away from more mature elements in the past, the overall tone is a little immature at times with a big huge plot heavy climax thrown in, and thats it. (and before you tell me pokemon is for kids: i know, but other shows and games for kids dont fall in the same plain secondary characters rut as pokemon does.) i would love for the Main character to have some sort of agency too because i feel like im following what other characters decide for me (at least give me dialogue options that, you know, DONT YIELD THE SAME DIALOGUE NO MATTER WHICH YOU CHOOSE).

thats about all i have to say about the games themselves. not gonna talk about anime or manga bc im not really into those

as for the fandom... its generally chill. its huge, but its divided in so many sub-groups that you never feel overwhelmed. the competitive community might be more toxic ive heard, but im more into the plot and characters anyways.

i do have to call out the huge p///edophilia problem there is. being a franchise most people grew up with, characters like idk, misty, may, dawn (its girls more often than not) were older or the same age as most of the older fans were back in the day. as a result, they have obsessed with their image since they were kids, and this obsession has continued now that theyre grown ass people, and they have no problem consuming and producing huuuge amounts of porn for these characters. as for the latest games, these disgusting people have even less excuse (not that they ever had) there’s tons of CP and adult x minor ships out there, and its allowed to thrive more often than not because of the sheer size of the fandom, too.

PHEW.

[beckermorricone]

Okay people, serious talk NOW

Since the first freaking moment pixar announced they were gonna make a movie inspired on El Dia de los Muertos, everybody lost their shit (either they were excited or terrified).

Then, Guillermo del Toro and Jorge Gutierrez announced another movie with a similar topic, and everybody thought it was the same movie, like they and pixar were gonna work together.

Of course then, we were probbed wrong. The movies were two different works, from different companies/creators.

El Libro de la Vida/The Book of Life, came put first and it was fantastic (I really liked it honestly). The music, the characters even they managed to create a story that yeah it may appeared "a basic story" but still is pretty well done.

Then, when pixar gave the first teasers about Coco the war began.

No seriously, everybody began to compared both movies (even when one of them didnt have come out yet) and most people was already saying they would prefer El Libro de la Vida and that Coco didnt look that "cool" or "promising".

Yeah, i get and Im not gonna lie. Its sad and madenning that people give more importance to a movie because of the producers. And because El Libro de la Vida wasnt a Disney or Pixar or whatever other producer house people didnt talk a lot about it (as it was in the case of Coco).

At this point I dont get the people that defend so much El Libro de la Vida because it wasnt a mexican production. Yeah, it had latinos working on it and everything but it wasnt a mexican movie per se.

We actually have animated mexican movies about our legends and myths but people (mexican people at least) doesnt give them the credit they deserve because the animation is not that "good" or because its for "children alone".

Like, Pixar does that. And Pixar and other countries animation had let very clear that just because something is animated doesnt mean it is for kids.

Anyway, I just saw Coco and I jave to say that daaamn, Pixar did a good job. And its not something strangr, I mean if Pixar had made a name for itself its not because they're from EUA or some shit, its because they give everything in almost every movie they do. They have a cuality seal, and thats okay its not their fault nor people, they are just doing they job and doing it the best they can, so they can give their audience something good.

Now, im not saying that the people working on El Libro de la Vida didnt make an effort or that they didnt do a good job, because they did. They have a different type of animation but thats also okay, everybody works different and thats okay.

But there's something people is MISUNDERSTANDING and that is the fucking main topic on each movie.

And Im basing this opinion on a comment that made Guillermo del Toro that said that "The Book of Life, wasnt a movie ABOUT the day of dead neither ABOUT Mexico, it was a movie that took elements about that festivity and that took place in Mexico, but thats it. The story hasnt the day of the dead as a main plot".

Meanwhile Coco IT IS a movir about the day of the dead.

Thats the big and main difference between this two movies. Other difference is that, again because El Libro de la Vida has another plot they focus on that plot, about the troubles the characters are facing with the bad guy.

In Coco, they actually want to represent not just a tradition but the country which that tradition comes from while telling the story of the characters.

I actually loved both movies, I did cry a lot with Coco but thats mostly because personal reasons, but both movies are good and people has to NOW the difference between them because thats why most people's opinions arent that correct cause they keep believing both movies are ABOUT the day of the dead and that El Libro de la Vida is a mexican production and because of that it didnt have so much publicity as Coco, which again is totally wrong.

Im not saying you should love both and shut up, of course you can love both movies or you can love more El Libro de la Vida than Coco or you can love Coco more than El Libro de la Vida.

If you hate Coco or El Libro de la Vida thats also okay.

But please take in consideration the facts before comparing both movies cause similar though they arent the same.

[hagiographically]

Hey Libby as a straight girl who's poc growing up in a predominately white neighborhood I find that a lot of my crushes and sexual interests are in white boys and I kinda...hate it lmao. I'm wondering if you dealt w the same problem of being attracted to mainly white guys bc of the area you grew up in/lack of exposure to your own race?

(sorry this is gonna be so long)

omg!!! i swear some of y’all who message me know my life so well it almost makes me feel like ur watching me lol. i was JUST thinking about this like literally yesterday. i’ve talked at stanford before about my internalized whitewashing, and that’s definitely impacted my sexual/romantic preferences….for 18 years i was only exposed to white people, and i whitewashed myself so much that i saw myself as almost-white (and hated the poc parts of me) and unlearning my attraction to white people, men in particular, was something i thought i’d gotten over. like, when i talk to people here, i act as if i’m over it. but am i? i’m not sure. i notice on dating apps i tend to look longer at white people and give them more of a chance, and it’s still a reflex to dismiss poc unless they’re REALLY remarkable - even other indian people - self-loathing is def a thing i have, and even though i know my white preferences are gross, problematic, and learned it’s still super easy to succumb to. like if i’m in a room and have to pick a potential interest it’ll probably be the white dude. even now.

i don’t have this problem with girls as much, there’s probably still a preference, but it’s much slighter because i often like girls that are….like me? not indian per se, but i just like girls who remind me of myself in terms of size, personality, and sometimes life experiences (which often lends itself to WOC) bc we can connect more. i think with guys, since it’s a different gender, i like the differences and there’s still this weird kind of validation i need from men (and white men are the most powerful thus i am attracted to the validation they provide, especially bc i have so much racial insecurity, and i don’t expect to connect hugely with them anyway)

i had this convo over the weekend with a mixed group of people and my friend was roasting me because i was like yo fuck white guys and she was like “libby thats all the people you date” and i was like “hey! it’s not like i specifically seek them out!” i usually just date anyone who’s interested in me, and it’s just happened that most of those people happen to be either white or indian guys. and indian guys sometimes don’t like me as much because i’m too whitewashed (i wrote a slam poem about this last week) but white guys like me because i’m ~exotic-looking~ but whitewashed enough that i’m not Too Cultural. 

basically my attractions to people and relationships with them are a bucket of problems. ive definitely dated/hooked up with and had super strong feelings for nonwhite men, but the majority of my relationships have been with white guys (out of everyone even this quarter, the only one ive actually liked has been the white one) and i think my preference is still semi-automatic for white guys but i hate white male culture in theory so i’m actually very into the idea of having a long term relationship with another nonwhite person because i think it would be much better and less problematic for both of us. like i had a fwb last year who was latino and that was actually like…..rly good? just being w/ another nonwhite minority who wasnt indian so he didnt expect me to be Hella Indian but he understood the whole POC thing. anyway having racial preferences sucks and i still think its bad but i’m trying to act in ways opposite to it so i can hopefully dissolve them for good. because being a self-loathing woc is depressing and we as a community deserve better

[swampgallows]

i need help. i cant do anything. even in europe all i did was trail behind. i didnt book anything or research anything. i just followed along. everybody else planned everything and i just followed behind.

i dont know what will happen to me without coverage. i need to make calls but i dont know what will happen. i really need help and i really want to be able to do things without my parents. there is so much my parents dont know and that i dont feel safe telling them. there is so much i dont trust my parents with but they control everything. they dont even know i quit my job because i was going to kill myself. ir eally want to get help. and i really need to get help. and i feel like the only way i can truly do it is if im entirely removed from this environment for an extended period of time. i thought europe would be the thing to help me enough but during the last few days when i realized i was going to have to come back here i started panicking and getting sick. and since i got home my body has been rejecting even the most mild of foods (oatmeal, applesauce, eggs and toast) and i cant sleep for more than a few hours at a time, at random. and i cant focus on anything again, and i only managed to draw something for a little bit when my mom was at the hospital again. 

i hate that i cant do anything alone but i feel like when im by myself i’ll disappear. but even when im with people i fall out of existence and stop being a person. i cant be here. im struggling to be here any more as a person. 

i had canceled my wow subscription (i guess?) so it wouldnt charge me while i wasnt playing and i havent started it back up again yet. i opened hots but i didnt play it. i cant even play video games. 

i really need help. i really need to get somewhere where i can be away from this environment and get help or im just going to sit in my bed until i die. im dissociated more than im grounded  nowadays, even on the trip. if eel like unless im in a super safe and time-constrained situation (like a rave or at a restaurant?? or something) i cant be a human being. like i have to have a scripted event and i cant exist outside of it. i dont know what to do with myself unless im being perceived or something like that. 

i hate writing about this stuff on tumblr but it’s making me lose my mind if i dont get it out somehow. it’s just spinning in my head and all i can do is sit here. it’s 4 in the morning and i thought about cleaning my room to do something productive while not having to be a person, per se, but it’s 4am and it would be too loud. i thought about getting in my car and driving around a little while the streets are super empty but my mom is awake and sitting by the door.

im so fucking sick of my parents knowing about every single thing i do. i cant be a person independent of them if i cant do or say anything without them knowing. and even if i put up my middle finger and say like FUCK YOU IM DOING THIS like my sister does it doesnt matter, in the end they still control everything and they still KNOW. i still have to come back to their house to go to bed, and even if im gone for days they know im gone. my sister is looking into renting a place with her shitty chaotic boyfriend (even though she swore up and down that she would NEVER move in with him) just so she doesnt have to fucking live here. AND SHE’S 29 AND I’M 27 WE SHOULDNT HAVE TO STILL LIVE WITH OUR PARENTS BUT NO ONE IN MY GENERATION CAN AFFORD TO MOVE OUT WITHOUT LIVING WITH 9 STRANGERS FOR 800 A MONTH EACH, AND THOSE NUMBERS ARE NOT EXAGGERATED

it was such a relief when i was in europe to just not check in with them at all or have to tell them anything. not even ‘hey i’m here safe!’ fuck you. i barely even posted on facebook about it except for checking in to places on swarm, and not to tell them, but just to do it, because it’s what i’d do anyway. “thanks for the update” my sister wrote, like i was supposed to tell them sooner. it’s none of their fucking business. they are not part of the equation at all. i bought the plane ticket, i paid for my share of the hotel and hostel and apartment, AND i was planning to drive myself to nate’s house until my mother fucking berated me about it and dropped me off instead (they were using my car that week anyway). 

my sister is on a career path and so is my brother and im not. i havent tried learning coding again in a while. i really do not have anything to live for, im not in love with anybody and i have no dreams and i dont even want to get married really and i DEFINITELY do not want children, i still feel like a child, i feel too helpless and stupid to do anything, my art is WAY below the professional level and i couldnt even fulfill all the commissions i took, i barely even draw for myself. i dont do anythign for myself. i cant even take care of myself. im full of self-destructive impulses maybe because i feel like if it gets bad enough my parents will give a shit about me, or something, but they dont, or they cant, theyre incapable. i think about all the healing i have to do and all the trauma ive been through and how my mother takes even that away from me, using it to further her own self-flagellation about what a bad mother she is. even if i killed myself, my suicide would matter to her more as a means to further punish herself than as a loss of my life. and i know this because when i was hit by the car and didnt have the self-preservation to call for help or do anything, all she did was scream at me at the top of her lungs and then complain about what a bad mother she was that she apparently never taught us to call our parents.

i had to throw up when we were driving back to lax to drop cookies off and i thought i could make it. i puked all over myself, bad, in nate’s car, and he said, “you need to just tell me if you have to and i’ll pull over.” and i legitimately didnt even think of that. i am so accustomed to just suffering in silence and then getting punished afterward that i didnt do a solid for myself or for my friends by just giving a heads up about what was happening to me. i just let it happen and dealt with the consequences. and that thought really unnerved me. why didnt i say something? did i really think he would get mad at me for asking, for having the audacity to get sick? was i embarrassed??? well i was sure as fuck embarrassed for puking all over myself like a fucking infant, so why didnt i just say something? like who the fuck does that? i just sat there fighting it, thinking it would go away, instead of saying like “dude, can we pull over? i think im gonna throw up.” maybe i didnt want to be an inconvenience, or ruin the good time, or be needy, or draw attention to myself, or possibly make cookies late for her plane (she had more than enough time and it wouldnt have been a problem at all. pulling over for a minute wouldnt have mattered. we werent even on the freeway.) so why didn’t i even think to say something?

i was never like this. i was never somebody who didnt stand up for myself.

or was i? i dont know. i have avenged people in the past, speaking up for them when they didnt have anyone on their side, so why cant i speak up for myself? i didnt say anything when i was being molested, or raped, but i was just a child. but ive been ground down more and more to be more subservient, quieter, helpless, and the few times i try to defend myself or make a stand or speak up i end up saying a very wrong thing or being extremely rude or just embarrassing myself by saying something foolish. or i come off as aggressive. 

aggression.

i have nothing so i have nothing to ground me and nothing with which to assert myself. as time goes on i feel weaker and weaker, more and more feeble and like i need permission to be alive. i cant be open with my family about nearly any of my beliefs or interests, hence why i am so fervent and adamant them in spaces that i can be (like, here, for instance, blogging until i am blue in the face about warcraft and dumb rave shit). in person i feel foolish among other wow fans, who play the game better than i do and know more about the lore than i do, and i am made to feel like an imposter (FUCK YOU spellcheck i prefer the -er) or an idiot or a “fake fan” or like “wow you dedicate so much of your life to this and you still dont know a fucking thing, what a loser, what a moron”. and i feel that way about rave shit too. hanging around other DJs and shit who know so much more about their specific areas, things im not necessarily against knowing but havent really done the research on my own, i feel like i’m nothing, too.

i dont have any worthwhile qualities and especially nothing that i’m capable of doing to a lucrative or productive degree. i have a worthless art degree, speaking of which, after 5 interminable soul-crushing years at a university that ground me in its teeth and made me feel like i belonged as a smear on the pavement. and then i almost was that after being hit by a car during what was supposed to be my final semester. 

im just really not supposed to be here and i have nothing to offer. and i know nobody is “supposed” to be here but i dont even have the means to act like it or to make myself useful. i cant even be useful to myself. i cant even do the things i have an inkling of wanting to do. i just start hitting myself or crying even when i try to do the things that will make me happy. the amount of times ive been at my tables mixing away and then beating the shit out of myself at the slightest mistake and having to sit in the bath for an hour to calm down are innumerable. drawing isn’t as violent, unless im interrupted, in which case it becomes a heavy weight, like an anvil on my forehead, screaming about all the time i was wasting, and how i spent x hours on this and it still looks like shit or it’s completely pointless or “oh orcs again how fucking original you fucking cuntrag of course your favorite is the inexcusably evil and violent genocidal piece of shit character you constantly try to “fix” in your head and make excuses for because youre a broken worthless idiot addicted to abuse since being used is the only function you have in this world”

im kind of glad r/incel was banned because i was developing kind of a hate-read addiction to seeing screenshots on here. i never went to the reddit itself but being raised on that kind of mentality brought back a lot of feelings, and i was trying to train myself to just laugh at those posts, but so many people like that have ruined me in the past that i ended up feeling like i had a duty to “hear” them out. i was practically raised by men who would now be classified as “incels” and that rhetoric comprised a bulk of my understanding about sexuality, especially when my introduction to the entire concept of sex was through entitlement via rape. i thought letting myself be abused was some act of altruism, and that men wanting to possess me was something admirable and validating, especially since i was so ugly, that they in turn were being charitable by allowing themselves to be associated with me, that the least i could do was let them get some kind of pleasure out of it. 

sure i didnt know any better as a child but im still fighting these feelings as an adult. i cant even navigate my own feelings about men. the pirate wants to go to bar sinister again on saturday (with smee, luckily) but i still cant feel out if it’s a date or not, and i still cant decide whether or not i’m comfortable with it being a date, since i dont know what attraction is, i dont want to hurt the guy’s feelings, and i’d like to stay friends, and i dont want to make him mad, and i dont want to lead him on either, and i DONT KNOW WHY i am basically arguing with myself as to whether or not i should ‘let this happen’, that i should just allow something to happen to me, again, because i “pursued” this man enough to let him know i wanted to get to know him better and hang with him outside of just seeing him on the bus, but i do not believe i have ever consciously pursued someone romantically IN MY LIFE (and if i did i was the last to know i was doing it). i have never had the thought “I want to date this person” because i dont fucking know what dating is, i dont know what anything is, i dont fucking know anything, i am not someone who would intentionally make a “First Move” on someone in the way of “wow i want to kiss this person so i had better get to know them better” like they do in the movies.

ultimately i guess i cannot ever imagine someone respecting me and being reciprocal with me. cannot ever imagine someone wanting to be around me for me and not because of some ulterior motive, like that theyre in love with me because of some shit emotional labor they squeezed out of me or some naive infatuation theyve conjured up in their heads about how we’re going to be married someday even if i explicitly reject them outright on several separate occasions, or how they’re so emotionally stunted that me being a cordial human being and sharing a trace of interest with them (wow youre a girl, AND you play video games? AND you have hooves?) translates into a crush because they have zero boundaries or understanding of women. 

cause like, im a fucking disaster area. i dont even want to be around me. i cannot even look at myself in the mirror, my insecurity is volatile, i’m incredibly unstable and i have no self-preservation or means of independence. if you want to be dragged down in every facet possible, look no further: i am a living embodiment of trench foot. so because i deem myself having no value i dont see why anyone else could. which is why im comfortable with traces of platonic shit and why social media is perfect. it’s meaningful enough interaction to let me know that i, individually, have value, but superficial and ephemeral enough to know it’s not because anyone has any weird fucking obsession with or bias toward me. my art appears on their dash in a flash and if they like it, they like it, and that’s it. they dont gotta say shit, and it’s an entirely objective Unit of Value not based on any expected performance from me or my identity as a human being. Just, deemed worthy, and if they add their own addendum or something it’s because they’re contributing to something larger, not directly feeding into my ego/personhood. 

and in turn, on my blog i can provide whatever sort of content i want without expectation and at the end of the day even if it goes unnoticed, im not doing it for any means to an end so ultimately its impact is irrelevant. like, thank fucking god. my blog doesnt provide a service to people where they expect some kind of Product, and they can opt out at any time. as long as im not going around hurting people (and obviously i would never want to do that) my blog doesnt matter, and i dont have to matter. 

“you matter”. fuck off. maybe i dont want to matter. maybe im better off just being a transient, tied to nothing and no one to keep from burdening anybody or burdening myself by feeling like i have to be fucking “useful” all the time. 

for how truly invisible i feel all the time, it’s ironic how much i wish i could be.

[magehand]

blupjeans is trans representation tho i dont get why people are kicking off about it. barry and lup could also be bi/pan calling it bad bc its het is just not the right way to go about it

im putting this under a readmore because this is more than them being a m/f couple

blupjeans isnt trans representation, lup is, you can headcanon one or both as bi if you want, hell, i hc lup as bi, that isnt the issue here because not a single word out of griffins mouth has been saying if either of them is mga so that isnt representation

like, yes, as a trans person, i am glad that i can name a canon relationship involving an explicitly trans person (especially a trans woman!! its amazing!), but that doesnt mean its automatically good, that doesnt mean that i dont have the right to criticize how griffin blatantly prefers this m/f couple to any of the gay ones in this podcast

carey and killian are an Apology, they dont get the treatment they deserve because he didnt intend for them to be a thing in the first place!! they only exist because he fucked up and he isnt giving them the focus that they rightfully deserve yet he will monologue about how obviously in love a man and a woman are when only one of them has even SAID anything about loving the other, i dont buy for a fucking second that lup would not have had the same sort of talk that barry had with taako, if not even more than that! hes her fucking brother for fucks sake, her twin, they relied on each other and you want me to believe that she didnt say a WORD to him?

lup isnt a character, shes taako but a girl, she has 4 character traits, one of which being that shes, uh, you know, dead? she was introduced as dead and then the next thing we hear about her is that shes trans, like, i wont act like i wasnt ecstatic about a canonically trans character in something that i love, im still happy that she is explicitly trans and that they asked for advice on how to handle it correctly and that its so popular and Shes Explicitly In-Podcast trans, but why the dead girl, why the dead girl who, in present time, serves as a tragic backstory to two men

i love lup, dont get me wrong, but she deserves so much better as do so many characters in this podcast and im not.. angry, per se, im disappointed, it could have been so great but like, lol what do u expect from a cishet white dude that wrote lucas fucking miller

[beastofhearts]

Skylar Bloxham character sheet

Character Chart Character’s full name: Skylar Bloxham Silva Reason or meaning of name: Skylar means “The sky” and “guarded” both related to the character personality. For the parents it just sounded nice Character’s nickname: Sky o Kyla Reason for nickname: Just shorten forms of the name Birth date: 04/03/2012 Physical appearance Age: 29 How old does he/she appear: 20-25 Weight: 65ks Height: 1,70m Body build: Strong and muscular. Shape of face: square but with soft edges Eye color: light green Glasses or contacts: Nope, she as 20/20 vision Skin tone: trigueña/sun kissed Distinguishing marks: scar on the left rib Predominant features:height, arms and hair. Hair color: Blonde Type of hair: curly with lot of movement Hairstyle: most of the time is just free falling on her shoulders. Voice: strong, it does not waver easily Overall attractiveness: 8/10? she is cute; has a bright smile and is in top shape but is also often bruised and drenched in sweat from training. Also her skin is not-great Physical disabilities: None for now, maybe a little umbalanced on earth Usual fashion of dress: Sporty or whatever is comfortable Jewelry or accessories: She doesnt wear on a daily basis, but when on formal attire she is often seen with a wide gold collar. Personality Good personality traits: Energetic, positive, active, open, nonchalant Bad personality traits: imposing, reactive, quick to judge, jealous Mood character is most often in: contempt and/or happy Sense of humor: joyfull, easy, sometimes dirty Character’s greatest joy in life: flying Character’s greatest fear: captivity, being unable to do what she loves Why?: because she doesnt think she can do very well at any other thing What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil?: No idea, probably loosing someone she loves again to muggle causes OR suffering an injury that keep her disabled and away from the skies Character is most at ease when: Swimming Most ill at ease when: Parties where she has to behave and interviews.  Enraged when: sees something she thinks its unfair (from racism/sexism to referee stopping a match) or downright cruel Depressed or sad when: remembers her siblings Priorities: Bad ones, probably. Life philosophy: “ One breaks its bones just by living...might as well have fun while at it“ If granted one wish, it would be: Bring her brother back Why? : Because she misses him, why else? Character’s soft spot: Children, tender shows of affection Is this soft spot obvious to others?: Not really? I dont think so Greatest strength: her unstopable will power Greatest vulnerability or weakness: over-confident can make you do stupid shit Biggest regret: I dont think she has one? She is kind of a simple girl. Minor regret: Not a regret per se but more like a what if, is that what would had happened if she had stayed with Sidney back in Michigan Biggest accomplishment: Being bought by the Puddlemore United Minor accomplishment: Learn to live alone after being use to have someone else with her (her brother, friends or girlfriends) Goals Drives and motivations: -redacting- Immediate goals: - redacting- Long term goals: -redacting- How the character plans to accomplish these goals: -redacting- How other characters will be affected: -redacting- Past Hometown: Oahu, Hawai Type of childhood: good and easy one, full with adventures and love Pets: A stray dog named “perrete”and a Tortoise called “Embajadora de las Islas britanicas, Filomena Sinclair Niʻihau” or “ Niʻihau” for short First memory: Broken images of a friend she had in the past Childhood hero: Her parents Dream job: being a kid? Probably being an auror. Then she faced reality and NOPE, thats a shitty job. Education: Universitary Religion: Wizards dont have a religion that I know off Finances: Medium class family Present Current location: Department on London Currently living with: her pet, Gremlin Pets: the devil in disguise of a Sphynx Cat Religion: Wizards dont have a religion that I know off Occupation: Beater on the Puddlemore United Finances: Medium - high class if´s that what you are asking Family Mother: Mirari Silva, Relationship with her: Good! She is probably the one from who Skylar takes all the extra energy. Mirari would like her to relax a bit more tho...and bring her grandchildren for christ sake!. She is getting worried she had forgotten how to knit baby socks Father: Bendek Bloxhan Relationship with him: Their relationship is good, however he wasnt okey with Skylar following a sport field as a career. He is now more chill now that she has been accepted in an international team, but still worries a lot about her financies Siblings: Nathan and Clarke Bloxham Relationship with them: The relationship with Nathan was always great, she was his sidekick for all their adventures and shinnanings. They had each other back all the time and for whatever the other one needed them. Clarke was...not so close to them since she had to take the role of the “mother” when Mirari wasnt home and had to take the blame for them for waaay to many years. The relationship is not the best, but they are still family and care for each other Spouse: Didnt marry, but had 5 year relationship so.... Relationship with him/her: Good, very good. They balanced each other pretty well and they made each other happy .SIdney was the one who took care of Skylar after Nathan dead. They broke up due to work and Skylar needing to get away. They are still on touch and in good terms Children: None Relationship with them: Other important family members: Nope. Favorites Color: Vibrant orange Least favorite color: Grey Music: Loud, dance, happy and energetic kind off. She doesnt care about genres as long as it makes her dance. Food: Kebab or friend fish on the beach Literature: Doesnt read frequently :c Form of entertainment: Sports! Playing and watching Mode of transportation: Aparition and broom Most prized possession: A small gift Nathan bought for her after her fist match. (Redacting) Habits Hobbies: believe it or not, she loooves puzzles Plays a musical instrument?: Nope, but she knows a bit about them Plays a sport?: A lot of them: Quidditch, Quodpot, Broom racing, Swimming... How he/she would spend a rainy day: Bored, annoying Gremlin and/or cleaning the house. Going crazy its also an option. Spending habits: she is BAAAAAD with money. Nathan, and then Sidney, used to take care of that kind of things Smokes: Nope Drinks: Yeah but not too much. Her couch doesnt allows it Other drugs: No, its forddiben for Quidditch players What does he/she do too much of? Training, exploring new things What does he/she do too little of? Taking care of herself Extremely skilled at: Flying on Broom Extremely unskilled at: whatever requieres hight precission and small movements; knitting, drawing, most artistic things Nervous tics: walking from side to side, cracking her fingers and drum with them on her leg or near by table Usual body posture: Confident with the hands on her pockets Mannerisms: -redacting- Peculiarities: - redacting- Traits Optimist or pessimist? Optimist Introvert or extrovert? Extroverted at 200% Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil, she is gonna kill herself one day Logical or emotional? Emotional, top 10 wost combos ever Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Disorderly but not Messy Prefers working or relaxing? Working IS relaxing for her...but yeah working Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Over confident Animal lover? Yes she is.

from: Here removed self persepcion and relationship with others because i got tired

[jesliey]

Character Design Questions that i really just wanted to do because they looked fun

Tagged By: No one. I do what I want.

Most of my characters started in D&D but ill list em all for context:

 Aliphos Gardwin, effectively ex-military Ranger from a what is now a frozen wasteland. Hes like a puppy in my eyes.

Anastasia Shepard, actual military. From my ME binge days. Probably the only one who’ll ever have an actual solid visual depiction

Alistair Shepard, twin brother to Ana. Technically not my character, but he punches things and hes such a dick i love it.

Unit 2038, mass produced celestial war machine with severely stunted emotional development. Had a REALLY long nap a while ago.

Firo Schwartzstein Avanezo, sleazy brat who likes to pickpocket and flirt. Closer inspection might catch a glimpse of some of that old money in his blood though.

Morgenstern, funny how dying from several impalement wounds makes a demonic deal for vengeance seem like a good idea. Might know Aliphos eventually im still pondering that...

Sacha Julian N’Doul, THE RICH PRETTYBOY IS JUST HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

THIS IS REALLY LONG SO UNDER THE CUT IT GOES!

Who’s the oldest character of yours that you still use?

oh man i dont really use them as much as id want to...im not a great writer so i dont really do anything with any of them until something comes up like a d&d game for instance. Id still use all of them given the chance.

Aliphos is the one i can always fall back to though, ive had him the longest

Who’s the oldest character of yours, defunct or not?

Im gonna go ahead and assume this means physically. Pretty sure its Unit...either Unit or Firo. Ones a robot, and the other doesnt age, but i dont exactly remember whos older...

Pretty sure its Unit

Has creating a character ever made you realize something about yourself?

There hasnt been a “realization” per se...

Each character ive made has been some kind of manifestation of what i was feeling creatively at the time, with the exception of Aliphos. Hes straight up my first character who i made not realizing how self-inserty he was all the way back in grade 9 of highschool.

Any minor characters that have either taken over or branched off into their own stories?

See now this ones a bit more interesting because i didnt really have a side character until very recently. Sacha is a backup character for the wandering mess that is the party Morgenstern belongs to, and he acts as chief sponsor after they saved him from bandits. He isnt SUPPOSED to come into the spotlight of the adventure, but he will if Morgen becomes otherwise unavailable

Do you prefer to make human, animal, monster, or _____ characters? Why?

Well i mean “human” is very loosely defined here but yeah. These are characters i know and relate to best and im not a furry, so “human” it is!

ignoring the fact that only four of them are actual humans, and one of those four isnt even mine

When creating a character, do you come up with the visual concept or the written concept first?

written concepts, easily. when im sitting down trying to make a new brain-child theres a list of questions that goes through my head to get a better idea of what im going for.

where did they come from? what is the most important thing that has happened to them this far? how do they react to waking up on just a regular day? what is the most common thing they feel both physically and mentally? how do they handle being in a group of other similarly skilled people?

i find that answering just these gives me a better idea of what im working with than trying to get a picture going before having at it

Do you have characters that you know you’ll never use, but can’t bear to get rid of/recycle?

Im honestly having a hard time envisioning using Ana anywhere. shes a bit of an alcoholic downer, and she doesnt play well with others. Morgen doesnt either, but hes currently in use and even then i have to creatively stretch his personality quite a bit just to keep things rolling

i dont like the idea of just getting rid of characters though. a few of them have died. multiple times in some cases. continuities are a thing that doesnt really exist for me, but it is hard to find a scenario where those two in particular would click in well

Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had?

Aliphos is generally up-beat most of the time, and Firo and Sacha love a good time more than anything else. in general, theyre my more happy characters and i like holding onto that.

Is there a character that embodies your bad traits? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

Ana and Morgen are definitely some pretty negative characters at their cores. Morgen less so simply because i felt like i was in a bit of a creative rut and i wanted to try something new, but Anastasia came around back at the end of highschool during the Depression Years™ and it shows...

Morgens definitive characteristics are nonchalant detachment and disdain and anger, where Ana is a depressed alcoholic with a death complex. Theres nothing happy here.

Is there a character that explores your interests or fetishes (orrrr is that just all of you characters)?

The most interesting things i can do with my characters is something that i think is unexpected of myself. I had Ali for YEARS before i tried making another character, and while it was fun making a new one, she boiled down to a drunk depressed version of what came before. The more varied and exploratory i can get with my characters the better. 

One of my best experiences with a character was developing Unit. I played out the inner conflict of realizing you are able to take a hold of personal freedom now that you know you can have it while simultaneously not wanting to because youre still holding onto the faith that the higher powers know whats best and you should still be awaiting further instruction. those instructions would never come, and Unit is just another forgotten soldier stuck fighting the war, but it was SO MUCH FUN to play out the moral dilemma and ponder the philosophy! that was such a new experience for me, and i loved it! so i made a point to try and spice it up with whatever i try and make next

If you have characters that embody certain traits of yours—good or bad—has writing them changed how you view those traits? Has it affected you in any way?

In truth? not particularly. i just sorta vomit ideas out onto my characters and whatever sticks sticks. i pay no real mind as to what those ideas mean. its just fun to me.

Do you fantasize about being any of your characters, or are you more detached?

Oh there is no way i can play a character and stay detached...

When im in it? Im in it.

Do you create playlists for your characters?

HELL YEAH I DO. SPOTIFY iS A BEAUTIFUL THiNG.

When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get into the right mindset?

I will ask myself all the same questions from above as when i come up with the character design, i listen to their playlist if i made one yet, and i picture whatever it was that they just got through experiencing.

a quick crash course refresher on how this character ticks.

Which character is your guilty pleasure?

Oh Sacha easily....hes the first character i think ive made where his entire backstory is hes from a rich family and he likes to try new things. Theres no intricacy here, hes just a simple start to a character and hes fon loving. Hes super refreshing to play around with.

Is there a character of yours who’s a real struggle to write/draw? Why do you think that is?

Award for hardest to work with is probably going to Firo. I just wasnt as invested into making him as i have been for other characters. When i think of characters id like to play around with, hed be on the bottom of the list purely because he has the least amount of my interest

Which character is the easiest to draw/write?

The self insert. Next question.

Is there anything you really wish you could do, character-design-wise, that you feel is outside your current skillset? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

BRO LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I love coming up with the concepts and flushing them out as i go along, but i am not the greatest at writing and they all just sorta stay in my head. also i cant draw. its a bad time for everyone involved.

What’s more important to you: visual design, unique personality, a trendy character aesthetic, etc? If you’re not sure, then what’s the first thing you usually nail down in a character?

well the first thing i always nail down when i think id like to entertain the thought of a character is their origin. so in a way i guess the aesthetic? though as i said above i like to keep things anything but trendy

Do you ever plan to do anything (comic, animation, etc) with your characters? Or are you just happy to have them?

dude i would love to make something big out of my characters! the problem becomes then that i would need someone who is as in sync with how i perceive my characters to be artistically inclined with, because god knows i cant do shit out here. until that day arises? in my head they stay.