#its my personal chicken soup for the soul

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

I'm intrigued by your comparison of tsh, the great gatsby, and heathers, would you care to share some points?

Golly gee! I’m glad you asked, Anon!

(Obvious major spoilers for the three of these things. Also, I’m using the 1988 film for Heathers. I like the musical, but I like the movie a bit more, and it better suits my points here. There are a few differences in tone between film and musical especially regarding J.D.)

(This talks about triggering topics seen in each of these stories.)

/Opening/

All three of these stories provide critical looks at certain communities, and all of them focus on at least one character whose goal is to reach a particular worldly ideal, to achieve a certain aesthetic lifestyle. Gatsby goes about this in a very reflective and melancholy way. Heathers uses humor and satire. The Secret History uses elements of both.

I really like Joseph Campbell and Thomas C. Foster who analyze character archetypes and tropes. Their points are not that this is necessarily copying or unoriginal but that human storytellers often get attracted to the same concerns, ideals, and concepts— we end up revisiting frameworks such as the hero’s journey or the “vampire” archetype for characters. But what is enriching is the author’s own way of commenting on these things. If we look at, say, Henry, Gatsby, and J.D, they are all wildly different people but the same character type. So let’s go though how the stories are all saying the same thing but exploring it differently.

/Great Gatsby vs Secret History/

Let’s start with TGG and TSH. Richard mentions early on that he identifies with Gatsby, and that this is his favorite novel. I’ve seen a few people question this because Richard is much closer to Nick Carraway. And, from a POV perspective, he is. They’re both outsiders attracted to the mystique of another character. And they’re just neutral enough that different characters can approach them about things. But Richard seeing himself as Jay Gatsby is also accurate, because Gatsby has a similar internal struggle to Richard himself. Richard’s flaws and goals are exactly Gatsby’s. Both men resent the lives they were born into, viewing them as dull and not a reflection of how they see their own identities. They take matters into their own hands to achieve their ideal regardless of the methods. They both become liars who slowly work at making their lies more truthful. Richard finds himself attracted to the Greek class, and particularly awestruck by Henry, because Henry is a Gatsby-type too. And it’s more Henry who functions as Gatsby in a POV way. Henry does what he must to achieve his desired Hellenistic lifestyle, just as Gatsby chases after the American dream.

The stories also make similar points about the effect of this behavior on other people, particularly women. A big reoccurring topic of TGG is carelessness. It’s seen through the symbolism of cars. The characters are reckless with their vehicles. Cars are stylish and exciting, but also linked to violence. We see this general concept with Julian who is careless with his teaching methods. Him leaving at the end, with dead and broken people in his dust, reminds me of Daisy and Tom at the end of Gatsby, and Nick saying: “They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up people and things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made…” Julian does something similar.

Obviously, Camilla and Daisy fill similar roles. They’re women who aesthetically match the lifestyle the male characters want. Daisy is a stunning American socialite. Camilla is a pretty classics student who plays the roles of big name Greek ladies (notably Clytemnestra) in the class’s readings. Gatsby, Henry, and Richard seem to have varying levels of love for these women. But the idea is the same: “In order to fully complete my own self-transformation, I need to have a woman emblematic of my ideals.” Even Charles fits into this because his views of Camilla get twisted by his toxic and Romanesque concept of what it means to be a male head of household. Both Camilla and Daisy are aware of their own lack of agency. Daisy’s famous line saying the best thing a girl can be is “a pretty little fool” isn’t meant to be taken as the author’s own opinion, it’s Daisy saying she wishes her daughter will be too stupid to realize what an awful situation she’s been born into due to her gender. Camilla and Daisy know that they eventually just need make a plan and go with the man that will make their life easiest. For Daisy, that ends up being Tom. For Camilla, it’s Henry.

As a side note, I saw someone drawing Gatsby comparisons from TSH, mentioning that Charles is Tom. I do understand the connection made here (Charles becomes an antagonistic figure for Henry, and they fight over a woman), but it seemed slightly off to me, and I realized it’s because I view Charles way more like George Wilson. Wilson is incredibly impacted by the immorality going on around him, and views the eyes of T.J. Eckleburg as a constant reminder that God is watching them all. In the end, he has a mental breakdown, victimizes his wife Myrtle and then loses her. Wilson and Charles come to the same conclusion at the end: which is to attack and kill Gatsby/Henry with a firearm. There are obvious differences. For example, Wilson is wrong that Gatbsy killed Myrtle (that was Daisy) and wrong that Gatsby cheated with her (that was Tom). But the backbone is there: a man is haunted by the existence of objective morality. He then concludes that he must violently seize control and kill the one he sees as responsible for his misfortunes.

/Heathers vs. Secret History/

While Gatsby focuses on a desire to be part of an American upper class and TSH focuses on a desire to be part of an erudite class, Heathers focuses on what I’m going to call teenage politics. Jocks, mean girls, bad boys, etc. The cliques of high school. Veronica is a member of the popular girl group at school and is mistreated by her clique. What she craves is to be part of what J.D. represents. He’s a mysterious outsider who is intimidating but also recites poetry and likes Bach. The way he’s introduced is very “Hey look at this guy. He’s not shallow like the Heathers, Kurt, and Ram. He’s layered.” Veronica very much falls into the trap of believing a damaged, edgy boy is somehow deeper than everyone else. She wants to be dangerous and above the other high school cliques. Veronica is exactly like Richard because she knows J.D. is excessively violent the day she meets him when he threatens the football players with a gun, but she believes there’s something cool and beautiful in that. She sees that his opinions are more cultured than her friends, but doesn’t stop to analyze what kind of person would fire blanks at people during school. Well, surprise, it turns out the bad boy is… well, literally just an awful person. There’s no hidden heart of gold like in the movies. Heather Chandler was terrible, but her death shows that people like J.D. are worse.

The situation with Bunny and Henry is similar. Both protagonists go along with the killing (I say this because Veronica was kind of sucked into it more than a premeditated accomplice like Richard), because they were abused by the victim and want to avoid jail time. But it’s also noteworthy that that victim represents a type of person who is opposite of the protagonist’s ideal. Bunny is an uncultured slob; Richard wants sleek intellectualism. Heather Chandler is a shallow mean girl; Veronica wants cool people of substance. Both protagonists eventually realize that the person they’ve partnered with is the bigger threat.

Heathers and TSH also unfold similarly. Both the Hampden and the Sherwood (Westerburg) communities react to the murder in a way that is absurdly off-the-mark. The Sherwood community mistakes Heather’s death as a suicide then proceeds to project deep feelings onto her and rationalize her rude behavior (sometimes in hysterical ways), because tortured souls are deep. They hold all these suicide prevention spectacles that the viewer can see are not really about preventing suicide at all. They’re about showing that people are feeling things; they paint Westerburg High as a place full of psychologically complex people. Bunny’s death gets mistaken as drug usage and similar circuses ensue. There are people projecting onto Bunny because he died young. The whole section in TSH where they do the national drug trivia competition to raise awareness, and Hampden College dominated was HILARIOUS in its irony, and I though, “This is so the tone of Heathers” when I read it.

The way the stories handle the “idealism” character is similar too. Henry and J.D. come across as so wise and above worldly nonsense at the start. You’re distracted by their language and finer tastes. Then, you see that they’re clever when they are able to get away with murder. But the story starts to show you that they’re actually quite one-note in ways. Henry and J.D. both become almost embarrassing to watch, because you start to see how horribly unaware they are. Henry is focused on what book to bring to his FBI meeting—as if that matters—and he seriously thinks the psychic lady might catch them. J.D. starts to come across as so silly because you see how often he speaks in trite little poetic statements that are stupid in context, but that he clearly thinks sound good (“People will look at Westerburg and say there’s a school that self destructed not because society didn’t care, but because that school WAS society. Pretty deep, huh?”). Both Henry and J.D. meet their downfalls because they’re after random, insubstantial “profound” things. Henry goes out with a suicide tied to a tender kiss with a woman, to prove that he could become the perfect Hellenistic figure Julian wasn’t. J.D.’s suicide was a similar thing: a message to Veronica about how complex and world-rejecting he is. (This is a part that differs in the musical. J.D. is actually self sacrificial there. I respect that the musical had to make J.D. softer to accommodate his songs, but the film character’s actions stick more firmly to the point of the story).

Heathers is more of a comedy than TSH is, but they both poke fun then take steps back. Bunny’s funeral is a complete clown show, but there are moments of genuine sadness. Richard acknowledges how evil the thing he did was. There’s a funeral in Heathers where Veronica and J.D. are giggling because they know the things being said about their victim are stupid. Then Veronica catches sight of a crying little girl and stops, shocked by the sudden reality of what she’s done.

Both stories also comment on group mentality. The Hampden community and Westerburg community are prone to ridiculous conclusions and nonsensical actions because of how quickly stupid ideas get latched onto. The Greek class murders Bunny because they’re all downplaying each others’ best traits and drawing out the worst. I listened to an interview with Tartt where she points this out and states that nobody in the class would have become a murder on his or her own. There’s a well-written scene in Heathers where Heather McNamara attempts suicide because she’s depressed but also influenced by what she thinks were her friends’ suicide. Veronica stops her and says “If everybody jumped off a bridge, would you do it?” McNamara gives a very honest and defeated, “Probably.” Both stories explore how people can and often do go against rational judgment due to the infields of the group.

/Tying it all together/

At their core, these stories are all doing the same thing: they’re showing how easily humans can be influenced by romantic ideals, and how easily they lose control of their moral judgment. The works all show that people can so dearly love the aesthetic of a person and what he or she represents that they create an illusion that masks the person’s flaws. Gatsby goes about this in a very respectful, dignified way. Heathers is full of dark humor and moments that are meant to be shocking and hilarious rather than realistic. The Secret History does a bit of both. It’s not as formal as Gatsby but not as outwardly making fun of itself and all is characters as Heathers is. It’s also partially satire but not at the level of Heathers. Heathers is literally making fun of its own genre (teen romance films). It presents itself as a cliche movie then just swerves violently into insanity and a tone that mocks all its character archetypes. TSH and Gatsby are both much more up front. As a result, there are some scenes in TSH that strike me as very Gatsby (scenes where Richard is being more reflective and philosophical) but there are also scenes that are so wild they seem to be working how moments from Heathers did.

Back to archetypes and tropes: While these stories have the same skeleton (a character facing reality after being caught up in romantic ideals), they explore things differently due to different social constructs and narrators of different backgrounds. We have an 30-year-old upper class man whom everyone treats as a secret-keeper. We have a new adult who desperately wants to put his lackluster and abusive childhood behind him. Then we have a teen girl who lacks a perspective outside the drama of high school. These narrators have personality differences and varying levels of culpability in the violence, with Richard having the most since he was a knowing participant in a murder. Veronica is next because she was part of a murder. She stuck with J.D. longer than she should have, and she covered things up, but she was also repeatedly tricked into killing when she didn’t want to. Nick rocked the boat but wasn’t a direct part of any death. It’s Veronica whotakes back the most control at the end. She lights her cigarette on the explosion that killed J.D. (which, wow, metal). She tells J.D. she wants “cool guys” out of her life then goes to get new friends and move past what happened, as arguably unrealistic as that is. Richard ends up with the least control, because he CAN’T move on; the events of the story have permanently damaged his psyche. These endings lean into different concepts: Heathers lets the protagonist triumph and embrace her lesson. TSH focuses on how immorality has lasting effects on the soul. TGG ends by showing pity for people like Gatsby.

This is the same for J.D., Gatsby, and Henry. They’re very different kinds of people which provides variation to the concept they represent. TGG doesn’t present Gatsby as evil, just tragic and wrong. He did hurt others with his shady dealings, but he’s painted as a man who still has his soul. J.D. and Henry actually have pretty intense evil in them and a clear lack of concern for human life. Nick and Richard still hold love for Gatsby and Henry, even after all that happened. Veronica completely denounces J.D.

I mentioned this in the previous post, but I just love stories like this. I love characters who get these kinds of reality checks, and I love characters who have such strong passions that they have to struggle with. All three of these stories are sharply crafted and oh so clever. They’re each so unique in the presentation of these similar ideas that none of them feel like a discount version of another. Their methods of story-telling are different, and their focuses, allusions, settings, tones, and motifs vary as well.

Wow, this is not even all I had to talk about. I could genuinely write a 40 page paper on this.

[fuckingrecipes]

How does one actually build a useful repository of recipes for different cuisines? Like, I have the Silver Spoon which is a pretty good cross section of Italian cooking. I know more than enough variations of the typical french mother sauces to get the principles without a need for a recipe. I know from various Euro cuisines particular flavors that pair well I could build a dish around (like, I could make a goat cheese and caramelized onion soup without the need of someone telling me a recipe). I don't have any such data sets for other cuisines, and you know the recipe website world is a hell scape.

Tried and true method is: Cook often, try new things, and save it if you like it.

Get a blank notebook (or a 3-ring binder) and collect recipes yourself as you try them. You can write recipes in by hand, or print them off & punch for the 3-ring binder.

Go to restaurants which serve food you want to explore, and take a picture of the food, record the name of it on the menu, and note some of the ingredients that you can identify in it.

If you live in a small town with not many places that serve 'foreign' food nearby, get off google. Use DuckDuckGo or Brave as a search engine. They have very few ads and the search algorithm prefers when you get to the point in your recipe blog, rather than dicking around with your life story.

Do a little tour on your world map. Focus on countries, search for food from that country, then search for specific kinds of food from that country. Search for things like "Authentic Turkish Stewed Chicken" "Traditional Brazillian Goat Recipe" "Hong Kong Street Food Recipe" "Collection of Taiwan Recipes" "25 amazing Korean dishes" "10 best Cajun Soul Food Recipes" "Dominican Republic Cuisine Recipes"

Go watch cooking tiktoks that aren't european-centric; go out of your way to find them.

Go down a list of spices and pick one you've never tried before. Look up where it's traditionally used, and try to find some dishes that use that spice!

Go to your Local Library and dig into their cookbook section. Every library has one! Look for cookbooks focused on cuisines you don't know yet, and try those recipes!

If you're cool spending money on this, go to Half Price Books or other book-reselling stores where you can find cook books at really low prices. Again, explore the cuisines you're not familiar with.

If you have grocery stores for other cultures near you, go into their grocery! Check out what spices have a shitload of different brands on display, and pick one at random. Seek out a recipe that uses that new spice you just bought.

And remember: Write that shit down!

You can always have a little guide at the front or back of your recipe collection that explains different spice blends, or explains key sauces, or anything else!

You can keep a little guide on how roasting spices changes them, and your experiments with that.

You can keep a list of bread recipes, or cooking hacks like how to make really good naan without a woodfire grill.

---

Personally, I'm forgetful. I forget sites exist, forget logins, and lose passwords all the time. I have about a hundred recipe collections across about as many websites, and I know where like, 3 of them are right now. Many of those websites have gone down, and my lists are lost forever.

The book of recipe & food-tips collection I've kept & used the longest - my Food Grimoire - is a physical item that I can misplace in my house but never truly lose. It can't have its server crash or website maintenance suddenly be abandoned and blip out of existence.

[mariacallous]

Offal, aka organ meats, are about to make a comeback. Yes, I predict that brains, livers, spleens, tongues and testicles will feature heavily on the menus of Israel’s (and the diaspora’s Jewish/Israeli-style) hottest eateries by this time next year — if they aren’t already. Why? Because young chefs are increasingly inspired by traditional Jewish dishes, driving a return-to-roots style of cooking. And these old-school classics are notably innard-heavy.

Offal is an oxymoron; it’s both a poor-person food, which is why it was so popular in the shtetl, and a celebratory food, eaten on Shabbat and festivals. Many Sephardic cultures consider it a delicacy. Read on and decide for yourself.

Let’s start with an old Ashkenazi classic: chopped liver. While for me, it will always be in style, many of my contemporaries don’t feel the same. Luckily, young Jewish chefs have already set their sights on it, and may well have the power to convert millennial diners. Take Anthony Rose’s recipe in “The Last Schmaltz,” which sears the livers, then deglazes the pan with arak before blending, serving the chopped liver with thyme-scented caramelized onions.

Another well-known offal dish is the Jerusalem mixed grill. Made with chicken giblets and lamb parts, and seasoned with onion, garlic, black pepper, cumin, turmeric and coriander, this classic street food is believed to have originated sometime between 1960-1970 at one of two (now feuding) restaurants in Jerusalem’s Machaneh Yehuda Market. While the Jerusalem grill is far younger than most Jewish offal dishes, it originated in a similar way: Butchers had a surplus of unwanted offal so they sold it off cheaply, then some savvy chefs turned the offal into a desirable dish. The mixed grill was one of the first offal dishes to receive multiple modern makeovers. At his restaurant Rovi, Yotam Ottolenghi adds baharat onions and pickles, while Michael Solomonov included a Jerusalem grill-Southern dirty rice hybrid in “Israeli Soul.“

Of course, this is not the first dish based around grilled offal; Tunisian Jews liked to throw a selection of lamb or veal innards onto the grill, which they called mechoui d’abats, and Baghdadi Jews sought a similar smokiness, which they achieved by cooking chicken livers on the tandoor.

Roman Jews preferred their offal battered and fried, rather than grilled. Few know that their famed carciofi alla giudia (deep-fried artichokes) was often served alongside fried sweetbreads, livers, and — most notably — brains. North Africa’s Sephardi communities loved their brains, too, commonly serving them in an omelet called a meguina or menina on festive occasions. Meir Adoni referenced this love in his brain fricassee — a North African-French fusion dish of veal brains inside a croissant with harissa and preserved lemon — at his New York restaurant Nur.

Offal was also commonly used to add a depth of flavor to a soup or stew. Yemenite Jews — one of the few communities who continue to cook traditional offal dishes — make a soup with bulls’ penis and cows’ udders, while Eastern European Jews, particularly of Polish descent, continue to add kishke  — a sausage made of stuffed beef intestine — to their weekly Shabbat cholent. A slow-cooked stew called akod is one of the better-known dishes of Tunisian Jewish cuisine, where tripe flavored with cumin, garlic, harissa and tomato paste is the star of the show. Moroccan Jews eat a similar dish on Passover, which ditches the tomato paste but adds liver, heart, and beef dumplings.

Admittedly, there are some offal-based dishes that may find it trickier to stage a comeback. Ptcha – an aspic that reached its height of popularity in shtetl-era Ashkenazi communities — is arguably top of the list. However, it’s not without hope; ptcha was actually born in Turkey in the 14th century as a peasant soup made with lamb’s feet, served hot. This, I’d wager, is a more palatable gateway (it’s basically bone broth) to the Eastern European version, which opts for calves’ feet and allows the soup to cool and set into a jelly, thanks to the gelatin in the hooves.

It only takes one dish to change your view of offal from weird and unappetizing to tasty and versatile. If livers, brains and tripe were good enough for our ancestors, not to mention famed chefs, who are we to turn up our noses? Happy eating!

[hms-no-fun]

a little late asking you a question but do you have some favourite books to share? and why they are your favourite? like such as how did they influence your way of thinking, your relationship with art, your way of writing, &c.

i've gotten a few asks about books/writing that influenced me and this is the most open-ended one, so, congratulations on winning that lottery anon.

the book that most recently affected me is The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin. it's about a representative from an intergalactic alliance of worlds embedding within and learning about the culture of a previously uncontacted civilization, to try to get them to join. but really, it's about observing the sociological particulars of a human culture where everyone is functionally intersex, and sort of swap male/female gender roles during the time period when they're (for lack of the term actually used in the book that i can't remember) "in heat". it's an astonishing work of science fiction that is every bit as good as its reputation suggests. i had a hard time getting into the first 20-30 pages, but once it really digs into the particulars of "shifgrethor" (this culture's all-important sense of decorum and near-invisible communication that the protagonist struggles to understand til the end) i was hooked. i love fictional social systems. i'm a homestuck, i can't help it. there's a profound materialism in how Le Guin observes this culture into being that unlocked something in me. i'll be thinking about the journey across the ice for the rest of my life.

i was also very inspired by This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, perhaps the most pure distillation of the feminine desire to hatefuck your rival into an ascendant beacon of cosmic revolution yet put to the page. much of how they write about time travel has made it into godfeels, not to mention the wildly extravagant and brief but numerous visions of absolutely batshit speculative alt-history tableau. i mean, the way they talk about Atlantis as this sort of annoying constant of the timeline, sometimes real and sometimes fake depending on the strand, definitely casts a shadow over the metaphysics explored in Chapter 8.

the other book i always recommend alongside Time War, because i read them at the same time while i was in the middle of production on Chapter 8 in 2021, is There Is No Antimemetics Division by qntm. anyone who's read it or knows about it can immediately spot the gargantuan influences it's had on Silverbark's narrative in Chapter 8 and especially in Double Album. if you're not aware, Antimemetics Division is a standalone SCP novel about a branch of the Foundation dedicated to studying & intercepting the phenomenon of antimemes, ideas & entities that defy our ability to remember them in various ways. think The Silence in Matt Smith's second season of Doctor Who, or the Void Fish in the Balance arc of The Adventure Zone. i'm not an SCP person at all, i think i've read maybe half a dozen other SCP entries, so i'm not totally full of it when i say this book stands very tall on its own two legs. i very much intend to take a closer look at it in detail down the road because i think, whether intentional or not, the main "villain" of Antimemetics Division operates as a very handy analogue for the socio/psycho-logical effects of the profit motive on individuals & on society at large. also: Marion Wheeler is so fucking good. i did not know she existed when i came up with Silverbark but you bet your ass it's an influence now.

a non-fiction book that's had an outsized influence on me is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. i always feel self conscious about bringing this one up because it sounds like a self-help book or some kind of Chicken Soup for the Soul ass grifter textbook. that absolutely could not be farther from reality. ZAMM was written in the 60s and it's a semi-autobiographical philosophy of metaphysics text by a professor of rhetoric who some years ago underwent electroshock therapy after a destructive manic phase. it follows Pirsig on a motorcycle trip across the American west with his son and some college friends, as he tries to uncover the ideas that drove his past self (who he characterizes as a different person that he calls Phaedrus) off the wall. those ideas concern the nature of "quality" and how we perceive it. as in, why should we Know that a good painting is "good" within seconds of examining it, in the same manner that we know a stove is hot almost before we've even touched it? he digs deep into how we conceptualize the split between objectivity and subjectivity, and posits that understanding Quality requires a substantial re-evaluation of our base assumptions about human perception. of course there's SO much more to it than that, it's a beautiful and strange book that succeeds in part because its philosophy is deeply couched within the metaphor of a road trip, making it a lot more accessible than an otherwise straightforward metaphysics text. i read it in an honor's philosophy class full of incurious Christians at age 22, and that was absolutely the perfect time for it.

another non-fiction entry would be Acceptable Men by communist labor agitator Noel Ignatiev. it's a memoir about his time working at Gary Steel Works in the 70s, at the time the largest steel works factory in the world. it relates in very simple terms how racism sabotaged the USAmerican labor movement through anecdotes from his workplace. it's important, i think, for those of us dreaming of & pushing for a more equitable world to stare long and hard at struggles past and not lose their most valuable lessons in our desire to simply have it be true that unions are good. they are good but they're not everything, and in fact they're just as capable of systemic dysfunction and capitulation to capitalist white supremacy as any other organization of human beings.

what else? i started reading The Traitor Baru Cormorant and much enjoyed its early pages, but holy shit that's one long book in a series of long books. people are telling me to read Exordia so i might give that a shot. i've got Gretchen Felker-Martin's Manhunt as well as May Leitz's Girlflesh on my desk, just waiting for the day i'm psychologically prepared to be ravaged by transfem body horror. i keep picking away at China Mieville's October, i'm sure one of these days i'll just sit down and power through it. of course i recommend everyone check out Lenin's State and Revolution, great book from the original poster, absolutely still relevant more than a hundred years later. and much easier to read than you might expect! no one ever talks about how entertaining he is as a writer, unless you hang out with communists in which case you're probably sick of us never shutting up about it.

i hope there's some good stuff in there, and not too much that i've written about before. i really need to make myself read more, but then again who doesn't?

[definitelynotshouting]

context: ik most of my asks are pretty disorganized, stream of consciousness type of thing but GEEZ this got out of hand. you know that thing cats do when they bring you a dead mouse and *they're* super proud of it and you're just like dude.. why /lh

i usually put whatever my immediate thoughts are after reading the chapter and this time i thought it might be fun to write it out before. can you tell im running on five hours of sleep?? lmk if this made any coherent sense because even i dont understand it!!

so last chapter ripped my heartt out and stomped on it. i am LIVING for the way this whole thing was written, gorgeous prose as always <3. i was very curious as to wether Mumbo would question Grian but i think him NOT doing that was SO in character, and i adore it. I feel like w/ some fics (my own writing included) Scar is the ONLY one Grian relies on for support (in ANY area), and whenever Mumbo is even in the picture, he's just kinda "there", he doesn't check up on Grian or broach the topic of whatever is currently plaguing our little bird guy (basically, he's not involved in Grian's life despite being "his best friend"). And the way you characterized him was just So Real?? I would wager a guess (correct me if im wrong ofc) that part of it is that he just DOESNT know, (because Grian is oh so good at telling half truths and privately justifying his self sabotage) but a part of it is also him being lowkey willfully ignorant. he doesnt WANT Grian to be sick (mentally or otherwise) but definetly knows that SOMETHING is up. he really WANTS to help fix whatever is going on (evident by the gold farm) but he doesnt know what Grian needs or how to help him.

i have been OBSESSING over how Grian saying goodnight to Mumbo was ACTUALLY his goodbye to him but Mumbo DOESNT KNOW AND ITS EATING ME ALIVE. (also thought it was super interesting how Grian sort of took Mumbo leaving to sleep as "permission" to do the deed)

side ish note: how tf does Grian even plan to do that?? ik he's got the spider eyes and i *think* he's planning to turn the healing potions into weakness potions but like?? how is he going to do that??? i would assume that the gang would be watching the potions AS they were brewing, and even if they weren't, healing potions and weakness potions are.... vastly different colors. (unless im mixing them up with something else). also aren't they going to walk in on him prepping or already being in the middle of it and just save him like last time? the team as a whole has done a pretty good job on keeping an eye on Grian (from just a "this person can't walk" standpoint) so far. is he waiting for a chance when everyone is busy or does he plan to use MORE weakness potions to make it stronger or quicker?? im interested to see if he's even going to follow The Plan, because up until this point he's been pretty careful with trying to make plans and sneak around EXCEPT for the spider eyes basement adventure, which makes me wonder is he'll get more frantic/desperate as the appointed time draws closer.

Real talk though, Mumbo (and everyone else) is going to be beating himself up over not noticing when stuff goes down (which i would assume would be next chapter, but idk). Also, the fact that Grian asked him to stay means A LOT. To me (and idk if this is what you meant to convey) that signals that a part of him WANTS to stay. theres a part of him that wants to continue to experience the comfort and joy he gets from his friends, but he feels like he's only going to continue to hurt them, so to him this is the ONLY option to keep them safe. also the majority of his existence is just misery and pain so thats probably not helping. (PLUS the whole slew of mental health issues, this is not purely self sacrificial).

anyway, i LOVED this chapter as always, it was like chicken noodle soup for my overworked little soul and i savored every bit of it!! (also, no need to apologize for not having enough spoons!! i dont have any chronic illnesses but i know that shit sucks. this is a particularly long ask for me so dont feel compelled to answer everything in it, or answer right away. hope ur doing well <3)

-🐛

BUG ANONNNN THIS COMMENT IS SO SWEET AND I LOVED READING IT OMGGGG

you hit the nail exactly on the head for where im going with mumbo's characterization-- there is 100% a level of willful ignorance there. Ive always felt like mumbo is the kind of guy who has a thing about avoidance-- he feels very much like a character who will absolutely do his best to ignore things that hes decided arent his business (right up until he stops LMFAO) and part of that in hunger au is him being so anxious for grian to get better that he stops looking at the red flags grian is aggressively waving around. It'll work out!! He's sure of it!! Grian even directly said he's trying to get better!! And i think if he looked at that for longer than it takes for him to flinch away from the entire subject, he would see how much of a bald lie that is.

But he doesnt, because thats a LOT to deal with, and hes never really??? Seen this side of Grian before??? Not the way Pearl and Scar have. Theres a lot of intricacy there that i feel im skimming over but like Mumbo is very much keeping his own sanity in mind here too and thats another painful factor to the whole situation. Idk i have lots of thoughts about it and about the choice here to depict Mumbo giving in to that willful ignorance, and how its going to affect his and Grian's relationship in the future of the fic

(Quick tw for frank discussions of suicide below)

You've also completely nailed the subtext i was getting at with Grian asking Mumbo to stay-- smth ive always felt is a bit underrepresented in narratives like these are how at its most base core, suicide and suicidal ideation are often about needing something to fundamentally change in your life. It takes a LOT of both hopelessness and sheer willpower to actively try and overcome your body's instinctive will to survive. That instinct is baked into our very cells; when someone commits, it means their hopelessness for meaningful change to happen in their lives was so strong it overpowered everything else. And that is something deeply, deeply tragic, and also something i really wanted to respectfully highlight in this portrayal-- how bad things are when you spiral that far. Grian is starving to death. He wasnt lying about maybe having a week to live-- the intermittent feeding has kept him alive longer than anticipated, but its like trying to wall off an avalanche; theres only so much you can do in the face of all that :( and that hopelessness, in combination with how guilty he feels for what he did to his friends, has manifested in him feeling like his only recourse is to kill himself... but at the same time, that instinct to survive and KEEP SURVIVING is still blaring in his veins, and that manifests as him asking Mumbo to stay. Its a bit paradoxical, but its meant to really show how bad his mental state is, that he is willfully ignoring all the frantic signals his body is screaming at him to try and stay alive rn 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also, with the potions-- without revealing too much about how this is going to happen, Grian is planning on making fermented spider eyes and using them to turn the healing potions into harming potions, which he'll then drink in the in-between to make sure he dies immediately. Now.. i know how this is gonna go, and i know the exact mechanics around how this is gonna shake out, but smth to keep in mind is hes not thinking logically anymore, he has FULLY capitulated to his own storm of emotional wreckage. So yes there are DEFINITELY some questions to be asked about how hes gonna try and get this done, but in all honesty they mostly boil down to "sheer opportunity" which you'll see a bit more of in the next chapter >:] but yeah its meant to be a bit illogical skdbwkdjskd since he just isnt thinking coherently anymore at this point :(

Bug anon thank u for my entire life this comment was so sweet and so wonderful to receive, i really love it when my writing is analyzed like this and seen and understood!!! Its amazing its such a wonderful feeling to have your work be seen like this and its something i very much do not take for granted :]]]❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ tysm for the ask i am seriously treasuring it SO MUCH rn (and also thank you for the well-wishes!! Im doing my best to stay silly out here HEHE)❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[angelicaether]

I'm Aether (or Angel if you prefer)! I use they/xe pronouns and I am 24. My blog is for whatever interests me, whether its memes, fandom content, etc. This blog will have sexual content, sometimes with darker themes. MDNI. If these things are upsetting to you, please feel free to leave!

Lucy and Angel's Midnight Book Club Podcast Angel Writes Fanfic Personal Tag Writing Tag OC Tag NSFW Tag Redacted Audio Character Sorter

Alzir Armand Sunka Theo Sab Orion

Honey Basil Roses & Rosaries Kinktober 2024 What's Better than Birthday Sex? Wanna Try Out Some Freaky Positions? Toxic Ties Hot For Teacher Clocking Out At Your Altar End of the Road Rituals Wedding Jitters After Glow Sleepless in Dahlia Sleep Over Offscreen Romanticism Hot Boi Spring Back: Alpha Edition Overworked Cereal Bowls The Muzzle Fic New Phone Who's This? Mistletoe Miracle Home Sweet Home Kinktober 2023 Blood Spilled A Blue Evening Playing with Fire Speak Easy New Job Posting: WFH Alpha Spark and Bite: A Demon-Vamp Crossover Special A Pizza Guy, a Telepath's Boyfriend, and a Dreamwalker Walk into a Birthday Party The Unconventional Love of Telepathy Chicken Noodle Soup for the Werewolf Soul Pizza-Flavored Sleep Aid

dividers by @/cafekitsune, @/adornedwithlight

[reasoningdaily]

Jessica B. Harris's Guide to Black Culinary History | Bon Appétit

Jessica B. Harris, Dawn Davis

Bahia, Brooklyn, New Orleans, Martha’s Vineyard, and Paris are the places she’s called home. Erudite, wickedly funny, and droll describe her personality. Who are we talking about?

None other than the culinary historian Jessica B. Harris, Ph.D.—founding member of the Southern Foodways Alliance, a member of Les Dames d’Escoffier, a professional society championing women in culinary fields, an award-winning journalist, podcaster, and author of over a dozen deeply researched books and too many articles to count. (If you’re looking for something that goes down like butter, check out her memoir, My Soul Looks Back, filled with tales about her adventures in New York’s Greenwich Village with friends James Baldwin and Maya Angelou.)

As the foremost expert on the foodways of the African diaspora, there’s no better (or wittier) guide to Black culinary traditions. Here, she shares with us a few of the dishes, books, and ingredients she finds essential to unpacking this long, rich, and ever-evolving history. —Dawn Davis, editor in chief

Photo by Suzi Pratt

Try the Homestyle Favorites

Chef Edouardo Jordan’s JuneBaby restaurant in Seattle is an edible praise song to the genius of African American cooks. The menu offers classic dishes like fried chicken and greens along with specials—like chitlins and Momma Jordan’s oxtails—not usually tasted outside of home kitchens.

Tour the Archives

Toni Tipton-Martin’s The Jemima Code reclaims and celebrates the heritage of Black America’s controversial “aunt” by documenting 200 years of African American cookbooks from her personal collection. Familiar figures such as Edna Lewis show up alongside unexpected personalities such as activist Bobby Seale and singer Mahalia Jackson in this must-own compendium.

Photo by Emma Fishman

Eat Like an Icon

The late New Orleans chef Leah Chase served Gumbo z’Herbes once a year on Holy Thursday. The dense green meaty gumbo is essential to the rich culinary history of the area’s Creoles de couleur. It’s still served annually at Dooky Chase’s, her iconic family restaurant.

Photo Courtesy Cuisine Noir/Ilaria Sponda

Required Reading

Two invaluable resources for those who want to deepen their knowledge: Black Culinary History and Cuisine Noir. Both websites preserve and promote the past and present contributions of chefs of color throughout the African diaspora.

For The Bucket List

The food of São Salvador da Bahia de Todos os Santos in northeastern Brazil is a linchpin between the food of western Africa and that of the Western Hemisphere. To taste a fish stew called a moqueca or nibble on an acarajé, a street food bean fritter, is to understand the connections.

Photo by Mike Lorrig

More Okra, Please

Okra, which originated on the African continent, is a love/hate vegetable. Its detractors hate the “slime” and the lovers delight in the way it thickens a soup or stew and its crunch when blanched. Get recipes, history, and gardening tips, in The Whole Okra by Chris Smith.

Photo from Vintage Postcards From the African World: In the Dignity of Their Work and the Joy of Their Play by Jessica B Harris,, University Press of Mississippi

Share Knowledge

You can find incredible images of African Americans and food on vintage postcards in my latest book, Vintage Postcards from the African World. They not only present the faces of ancestors but also tell amazing, often harrowing, stories of survival and triumph over adversity.

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrilbe Fic Ideas #54: Like Water For Chocolate, but Hannibal

One of my biggest pet peeves are online recipes where the author feels compelled to write 25k words on their first Christmas alone in NYC and how that taught them to appreciate their mother's home cooking before telling me what ingredients I need and what to do with them.

That being said, Like Water For Chocolate remains one of my favorite books. Essentially a novel using the sharing of relevant family recipes as vehicle for the narrative... it struck me hard as I was scrolling through my dash that it would be perfect say to write a Hannibal fic.

Or: What if Hannibal was told through the medium of monthly gourmet recipes on a food blog?

Just imagine it:

I don't really have much for this plot bunny, but Hannibal keeping a high-class gourmet food blog on top of everything else seems in keeping with both his love of food and need to be the center of everyone's attention.

Perhaps it starts as a mostly anonymous blog - though certain Baltimore foodies recognize the kitchen in the pictures and know better than to say anything - that contains a brief history of the food or its key ingredient before diving into the recipe. Supremely knowledgeable, supremely elegant, it is a staple of certain circles.

But then slowly, almost imperceptibly, the content begins to change. It's still high-quality, still elegant... but the introductory sections start becoming more lengthy and more personal throughout the course of S1 and S2 of the show.

Fans begin to notice that their favorite food blogger appears smitten with his friend, Will, going so far as to dedicate an installment of his blog to what amounts to fancy chicken soup when his dear friend is ill and a few brave souls begin to ship them together, but all this is only on the periphery - Hannibal rarely answers comments on his blog unless it is a polite request for clarity of his instructions.

Perhaps the fic follows canon exactly, with untraceable updates being posted after the Fall, teasing the police with the details of months-old murders and delighting fans with both delicious recipes and details of the passionate, self-destructive, all-consuming love Hannibal and Will share. Perhaps things veer off slightly for a fluffier (for Hannibal) ending helped along by comments from one or two dedicated fans.

The point is that I think it would be a brilliant way to work Hannibal two love languages - food and murder - into a fic, and if I knew anything about gourmet cooking I might be tempted.

Bonuses include: 1) At least 10% of the fans thinking the insertion of dear Will into the blog is a kind of performance art designed to draw in more viewers. At least half of those think the murder, cannibalism, and imprisonment which comes later are just more performance art; 2) Beverly stumbling across the website during S1 when being forced to cook for visiting family, being utterly delighted by the UST, and cackling as she shows all the juiciest bits to Will; and 3) The most beautiful, complex, delicious, gourmet recipes from around the world included as a key component - even driving force - behind the drama of our murder husbands.

And that's it really. As always, feel free to adopt this bun, just link back if you do anything with it.

More Terrible Fic Ideas

[malfromtheblue]

EXCUSSEEE ME, BEAUTIFUL!!

if that last post was about me imma be upset. why are you punching walls? nah, im dumb asf because i always thought you just got into fights, thats why your knuckles are always fucked up??

And if your ex calls and you feel sick, call me overrr!! i cant make tea for shit, but I can cook up some good ass chicken noodle soup (really just ramen but they're basically the same thing) and if you cant eat we can binge watch Loki season 1-2! Or just talk, ofc

And idc if ppl think you're weird or sick!! I think you're a pretty boy with a different mentality. And i love you!! *kisses and hugs*

And if you're talking about another girl then we're gonna fight because why you talkin to other girls?? 😭✋

*twerks cutely*

... well, to be fair, i didn't make that post expecting you to actually read it. but i guess i should've known, with your adorable little nosy self.

i punch walls when you're gone because other coping skills don't do shit. as awful as it sounds, i take the emotional and mental pain that i experience when you're gone and turn it into physical pain. a distraction, you could call it? and dont do that. dont call yourself dumb, my love, you couldn't have known, i never told you. and you were polite not to ask our first few days together, as i feel you would have been freaked out by the answer.

i will most definitely call you over if im sick. or if i miss you. you should move in. that'd make everything easier, dont ya think? you practically live here anyways, so that shouldn't be much of a change.

mm... you're so bloody cute, you know that? how dare you wrap me around your finger tighter than i already am, hm? i would LOVE to watch Loki with you whether im sick or not, but im glad ill get princess treatment, then.

this last part, took me a second to comprehend. after reading this over about 45 times, i have come to the conclusion that you don't mind me being as i am? and you think im pretty?!

my love, you cant just go around telling a sickly obsessed person you love them. especially if you're the one they're obsessed with.

Say it again.

but i love you more. i love you with my flesh, bone, body, soul, and mind.

and i think its been obvious that you're My Perfect Addiction. now, get some rest. its late.

~ Mal 🍵

[birdbrainweekly]

Research blog until GSA: Day 10 of 25

Ha....Ha, is it day 10 already?

Save my soul...

My significant other last night got home from work with a fever, he woke up and was still sick, so I made him soup this morning, got to work at 10am and worked my butt off handpicking (Which I don't know if I have mentioned this but when handpicking you frequently accidentally stab yourself with tweezers really often). at around 11? 11:30 I don't know, I ran into my advisor who said the ominous words "Oh, I was about to send you an email, but maybe its better to say it to you in person."

Honestly, I was so tired I couldn't even begin to feel the instant dread before he, probably realizing how anxiety inducing what he just said was, told me the content of what he wanted to talk to me about.

It was a good meeting, I coerced him into looking at my thin section, to which he found cordierite which I have never seen before in my life and so I wrote off as "weird feldspar, idk", which threw off all my perplex models and has set me back, because I need to try to stabilize cordierite with rutile?! RIP, I am hoping the adjustment of ferric/ferrous iron ratio will stabilize rutile at lower pressures, otherwise I really couldn't tell you.

In other news, the mass spec is still broken and will stay broken into the foreseeable future according to the grad student who worked on it all day yesterday. Honestly.... I am choosing to ignore the words, and push forward with columns and handpicking... and making my graphs... and perplex modeling...

Anyway, I left at five after sitting through a seminar and working on a new graph, then running to the clean lab for the last time of the day.

Stopped at publix to buy some stuff to make chicken noodle soup for my still ill SO and found 'chicken backs', a waste cut of meat they were selling for cheap and made literally the richest chicken broth ever? If he isn't cured don't even know what to say, It was probably the best chicken soup I've ever made, and I make a mean soup.

I will probably work on perplex a little longer tonight before calling it a night and kinda hoping I wake up sick though? An excuse to no longer deny myself looking up different native plants and what moths and butterflies they host (listen, I literally love moths so much they are fluffy puppies, I just discovered the existence of the southern flannel moth and I wish to pet the furrbidden fluff.) I am still new to the south and learned like 4 days ago passionfruit is native to here? And am really sad I don't see it everywhere because I would totally grow it everywhere if I didn't live in an apartment.

anyway here is a picture of "weird feldspar, idk"

[3milesup]

the chicken soup for the soul books had a very strong impact on my life. god i believe i had never cried so much and so hard over anything i read, before or after... but the story that impressed me the most wasn't one of those, it was the one about the message that had found its place on the wall of my girl room for a long time, and that has been etched in my mind ever since, and i've thought about it constantly through the years: practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty. only i never quite knew how.

now, i am the most introverted introvert you'll ever find when it comes to my thoughts and feelings, but i can get very random with strangers. and having to do with a lot of people daily, i often find myself getting random when i sense a person that won't mind. if they have a good scent, a beautiful dress, a lovely necklace that looks like a string of licorice candies, i tell them. i ask what their instant camera is because i have one myself, i ask if their padawan-like braid has anything to do with star wars and the triskelion tattoo with teen wolf...

the other day a passenger walked up to my counter and while i was looking at her passport she said triumphantly "i remember you! you said to me something in my language the other day" and i couldn't believe my eyes but yes, i did and it was about a couple of months ago. i told her "thank you, bye" at gate, which are two of very few words i know (we are from neighbouring countries, both far from home) but i always say them if i have the occasion because i love the surprised smiles it draws... and when i saw that lady the other day, i realized my silly can leave a print and i feel like crying because i realize that might be it.

and in a job where so many seem to have forgotten what a simple kindness is, it makes me all the happier. i might be just the girl that puts the tag on your suitcase but if a passenger remembers me maybe i am doing something right...

...sorry for my 2am ramblings while getting ready for work xd but i get all feely sometimes because mine is a job no person in their right mind wants to do anymore (lost 10 colleagues in a year). for plenty of good reasons. but i love it because it gives me the chance to be kind. as cheesy as that. to be the change i want to see in the world, however tiny. it costs literally nothing.

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

It’s been a pretty quiet week in the Fahrni household and at work. I’d say we’re in a steady state at both. Of course it won’t stay that way for long so I’m gonna enjoy it while I can.

Our granddaughter is with us this weekend so let’s see how much writing I’ll get done. 😁

I’ve saved so many interesting links this week. I hope you enjoy them.

Caleb Newton • Bipartisan Report

J. Michael Luttig, a widely consulted former federal judge, is among those harshly condemning the recent ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court to give presidents a layer of legal immunity, meaning protection from prosecution, for certain actions taken in office.

Our Supreme Court has done democracy a big disservice. The immunity they’ve granted Presidents basically gives them carte blanche to commit crimes as part of holding the office.

They’re evil idiots.

Jason Koebler • 404 Media

The real Christina Warren hasn’t been writing these new posts on the zombie TUAW, however. The site’s new owners have stolen her identity, replaced her photo with an AI-generated one, and have been publishing what appear to be AI-generated articles under her byline.

Here’s someone using “AI” in an unethical way. Taking someone else’s work, running it through an LLM to change it, and republishing it under the authors name — with a different author picture — is disgusting.

Victoria Namkung • The Guardian

Whenever Cassie Yoshikawa drives through the Central Valley on the former US Highway 99, she looks for the century-old landmark that symbolizes the midpoint of California: the Palm and the Pine.

You’d think being a lifelong Californian I’d have known about this. I recall passing them but I had no idea they represented the center of California. They’re an official unofficial marker. Folks just did it. Pretty nifty.

Of course they’re going to be ripped out for highway expansion. Goodness knows we need more cars on the road.

Noor Al-Sibai • Futurism

Elon Musk is a man with many brands — but for electric vehicle shoppers, his personal brand has become increasingly toxic.

That’s right, folks are not buying Teslas because Space Karen is such a dick.

I’ve given up on The Musk Files. The man is just so toxic and disgusting his crimes against humanity are too many to enumerate.

Janko Roettgers • Lowpass

This is it for Redbox: The judge overseeing the bankruptcy case of Redbox’s corporate parent Chicken Soup for the Soul Entertainment granted the debtors request to convert it from a Chapter 11 bankruptcy to a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, effectively paving the way for shutting down the company and liquidating its assets.

Wow. BluRay and DVD renters are out of luck it seems. Before streaming became ubiquitous we’d rent from Redbox about once a week. We had one at our local grocery store. It was easy and cheap.

There’s a bit of irony in this whole thing. I’ve gone back purchasing BluRay + digital download movies. We use the digital version all the time but have that BluRay backup should the license for the digital copy be revoked.

Dalia Faheid, Monica Garrett and Brandon Miller • CNN

Death Valley sets a new daily record with a searing 128 degrees as West Coast heat wave drags on

Poor California, poor planet. If this keeps up how long will it be before California can no longer produce the fruits and vegetables that feed the world? That’s not hyperbole. California’s San Joaquin Valley really is the breadbasket of the world.

Patrick Wyatt • Code of Honor

I’ve been writing about the early development of Warcraft, but a recent blog post I read prompted me to start scribbling furiously, and the result is this three-part, twenty-plus page article about the development of StarCraft, along with my thoughts about writing more reliable game code.

Don’t look at the date this article was published. Yes, it’s from 2012. 😄

You know I love a good discussion about code architecture, especially when presented in the form of an actual product. Not just some sample code to illustrate the point. He links off to another post discussing a linked list implementation and it’s great reading.

Chris Medland • racer

Lewis Hamilton’s victory in his last British Grand Prix for Mercedes is “like a little fairytale,” according to team principal Toto Wolff.

It’s really nice to see Lewis Hamilton pick up a win in his final season the Mercedes.

Manton Reece

Everyone who has implemented ActivityPub from scratch knows that there are implementation-specific quirks that trip up developers, making compatibility between apps more difficult. Some of these issues are being clarified by the Social Web Community Group. Test suites will help too. Micro.blog has had ActivityPub support for years and we’re still finding edge cases.

So many folks are climbing on the ActivityPub bandwagon and that’s a good thing. Providing more integration with other services and allowing those to be displayed in native clients without changing formats is wonderful.

As much as I’d like to finish writing, my granddaughter is up so I’m gonna hit the publish button now and hang out with her. 😃

Steven Beschloss

The dangerously self-important Roberts insisted that the country is “in the process of the second American Revolution” and further noted that this so-called revolution “will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be.”

Tom Warren • The Verge

Microsoft is finally rolling out spellcheck and autocorrect for its Notepad app in Windows 11, more than 40 years after the simple text editor was first introduced in Windows in 1983.

Skye Jacobs • TechSpot

Big Tech needs to generate $600 billion in annual revenue to justify AI hardware expenditure

Sarah Kuta • Smithsonian Magazine

While visiting his parents’ recently renovated house in Europe, a man spotted something unusual in one of the floor tiles. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be part of a human jawbone—and it still had a few teeth.

Spire Motorsports

Rodney Childers, a 40-time NASCAR Cup Series (NCS) race winning crew chief and one of the sport’s most respected tacticians, will lead Spire Motorsports No. 7 team and driver Corey LaJoie in 2025.

Felix Salmon • Axios

The Slacker generation might have been slacking off when it came to planning for retirement: Gen X consistently ranks in surveys as the least-prepared group for when they stop earning.

John Stoehr • Raw Story

U.S. Senator Josh Hawley (R-MO) declared Monday he is advocating for Christian nationalism, a far-right ideology that claims there is no separation of church and state in the Constitution, and promotes as a national religion Christian fundamentalism, a hardline, extremist brand of Christianity at odds with the religious beliefs of many Christians across the country

Drew Magary • SFGATE

But again, discretion isn’t this car’s job. This is a loud and lonely car for loud and lonely people. And while I enjoyed driving my Cybertruck, I hope I’m never loud and lonely enough to want to buy one.

[bisognamorire]

Beloved A.,

Happy Friday!

Up here you see a few photos I took this week. I had wanted to arrange them separately but I can’t find the strength to organise this post much (sorry, its all over the place). The felted bunnies made me think of you and I wanted to get one for you but I am not supposed to. The candles are in the religious mourning room. It is located adjoined to the front hall where my reception is, so during nightshifts I go to lay down in there and try to rest a bit (theres a bench). I often get mentally unwell around 2-3 AM during my nightshifts. Everything just gangs up to torture me. The melon bread was disgusting. The highlight of my week was to go to the lake after my first nightshift and feed the ducks and swans some sunflowerseeds.

This week I tried different methods to stop myself from dissociating. And it worked most of the time. Once the numbness of dissociation fell away, though, I dissolved into tears; when I took a walk around the lake, when I sat in public transport, when I was at work, when I woke up in the morning, when I sat in the living room. I’m always in tears.

Always, Dad and you. Dad and you.

I think feeling how much it hurts me to have lost the both of you is still better than to dissociate and feel nothing.

Theres a scene in One Piece after the Wa no Kuni Arc where Momonosuke runs to the shore to bid the Strawhats Farewell as they leave the island. He sobs and begs them to stay and not leave him like a toddler. I felt like him in that scene this past week.

On Saturday, when I felt like I would get ill, I went to the city to eat chicken soup in an asian diner that I used to go to when I started uni in 2017. It usually helped me to get strong again. Unfortunately they’ve been closed for some reason for many months now. I then went to have soup at an other asian diner, it was only 2€ and the people probably thought I was homeless (I looked rather dishevelled and done with life) because they gave me a relatively large bowl and lots of vegetables.

It does wonders for your soul to eat a hearty soup when you’re feeling poorly.

On Sunday I visited Marina, Sharon’s friend (well, our childhood friend). She broke up with her boyfriend of seven years recently. We talked about a lot of topics like identity, mothers, parental emotional neglect and abandonment. She told me that she just hangs with random people because shes so lonely (she lives in another state and we can’t easily visit her) and she takes whatever company she can get so that she is distracted and that she doesn’t really like the girls she goes out to party with. That she thinks theyre rather shallow contacts. Its hard when someone doesn’t have a social network that breaks their fall and the person has to carry all of it themselves. We ended up just talking and we watched an episode of ‘Bodies’ on Netflix. Its a murder mystery show.

I started crying when I got back home from that visit. I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted and sad about everything around me and in my own life.

Other than that I’ve not done much this week other than work (when I work nightshifts and get home from work at 7 AM in the morning there’s really not much of me left to use for anything during the day) and sleep and rot in bed due to feeling terrible. Unfortunately my shift schedule continues to be awful the next days and I’m thinking about calling in sick soon. I desperately need to rest.

Someone put a nail in my bike tire (the one you rode) and I brought it upstairs from the bike cellar to my balcony to repair it. I curse the person who deliberately put a nail in it.

During my walk through the city I also went to a pakistani store and saw this! I remember you cracking up about it in F.

How was that in 2022? I seem to have no general sense of time passing the entirety of 2023. After dad died in June, I have no recollection of time passing.

This morning I saw mum for the first time in about a month? I felt unsettled by my therapist talking to me in detail about my cycle of dissociation and what harm it brings to myself and the relationships to other people around me, because I apparently perceive reality fragmented, or selective, when I am dissociated (which I am most of the time). I‘m horrified to see the mechanisms of my brain play out in these ways, that I don‘t want.

My mother asked me how I was but she hadnt in weeks (she simply started an argument and left me when I was so unwell because of things between us a few weeks ago). I couldn‘t tell her. What use has it? She can‘t handle me feeling unwell and things will only get worse, if I tell her.

Unfortunately, not telling her how I am was also a wrong decision. She started accusing me of not actually wanting to see her and why am I pulling auch a depressed face and won‘t talk to her?!

Then she defended my older brother and his ex-girlfriend (the mother of my niece) and basically said that its my niece‘s own fault that her mother treats her badly. I can‘t believe how this cycle of parental neglect and abuse continues into the next generations, just because the adults in the child‘s life are irresponsible and egoistic. And I‘m sitting there with over 10 years of therapy, because of how my mum and dad were and my mother still defends other neglectful and abusive parents’ behaviour!

I couldn‘t bear it anymore and just got up without a word, paid (was cussed out by a grandma in the process) and left.

I don’t have much things to look forward to. I ordered a weighted blanket to help my sleep without medication. I also got a package of Palo Santo incense, which makes my flat smell cosy when I take naps.

I have to go back to work tomorrow and work through until next Wednesday and I’m thinking about calling in sick on Monday.

I felt miserable looking at your blog yesterday and seeing that you wish to experience ‚it‘ again, that you post about ‚letting love in again‘ I am not sure what you meant by that but my mind makes me think you‘re wishing to fall in love again…

How many times can I feel like I am losing the same person over and over again? I’m scared to look at your blogs now. I wish I could see something and know that you miss me and that you love me forever and be content and never look it up again.

Yesterday I went to the cellar and rummaged in your box. I found a transcript of the first ‚goodbye‘ Message you sent me in January 2023. I knew it was there. In it, you don‘t avoid telling me that you love me (I felt like your message from this January avoided using the word ‚love’ and it made me anxious about the reasons). I heard your voice say the words to me then and I started crying and breaking down in the cellar, my knees just gave in.

All that rumination about me being abandoned is probably not helping my mental wellbeing. Spending hours and days composing these entries and not knowing if they ever reach you, is also playing into this.

I don‘t know what to do, I am so so sad about it all, I just feel like giving up everything and letting go of life.

My sole hope is that I feel a bit better when it gets warmer, so that I can lay in the meadow with the sun on my skin, with the treetops swaying in the wind.

I don’t have much hope other than that.

Your Sabo who loves you.

[herbgardenguide]

Our Kitchen Came Alive: 8 Herbs for Flavor & Homegrown Magic

Remember that sterile, magazine-perfect kitchen we just renovated? Yeah, about that.... It turns out sterile ain't exactly our vibe. Sarah, my partner in culinary crimes, had a twinkle in her eye: "Remember our herb pact?" We both knew what she meant. This kitchen needed a living, breathing soul that bursts with flavor and whispers of summer evenings.

Enter our quest: conquering the "8 Best Herbs for Cooking" right on our windowsill. Seedlings became teammates, basil unfurling its sweet perfume, mint promising mojito mayhem, and oregano whispering of pizza nights. But we yearned for more.

Cilantro, that love-it-or-hate-it enigma, joined the party, destined to revolutionize our guacamole. Delicate and woodsy thyme dreamt of roasted chicken and cozy soups. Both flat and curly, Parsley promised to add life to every dish. And for a touch of the unknown, lemongrass sashayed in, its citrusy whispers filling our imaginations.

Our kitchen became a playground of flavors. Basil waltzed into pesto and pasta sauces, mint muddled its way into summer soirées, and oregano transformed pizzas into edible masterpieces. Each success story fueled our passion, each experiment a delicious revelation.

But there was more to this than just taste. It was about nurturing tiny miracles, watching vibrant green dreams unfurl on our windowsill. It was about repotting hand-in-hand, the intoxicating aroma of life filling our lungs. It was about slowing down, connecting with nature, and savoring the magic of homegrown goodness.

Our sterile haven bloomed into a symphony of life. The glint of stainless steel softened by the emerald embrace of our herb family. As we devoured dishes bursting with fresh flavor, we knew we'd grown more than just herbs; we'd cultivated a piece of culinary magic right in the heart of our home.

So, fellow kitchen adventurers, ditch the store-bought stuff and embark on your own herb odyssey. You might just discover the magic that sprouts from a seed, nurtured with love and a dash of curiosity. Let the flavor (and the fun) begin! ✨

Bonus: Add some personality! Share your favorite herb combo, a funny kitchen mishap, or a dream dish you're planning to create with your homegrown bounty. Let's get this herb party started!

[cocktailsfairytales]

Kennedy Ryan has revealed the gorgeous new covers for the Bennett series!

 

Pre-order today!

 

When You Are Mine - releasing October 24th

https://bit.ly/45Nxabu

 

Loving You Always - releasing November 21st

https://bit.ly/45uOF0h

 

Be Mine Forever - releasing December 26th

https://bit.ly/45x3Eqy

 

They say you never forget your first. 

The Bennett series was my debut into romance nearly 10 years ago. I've grown so much as a person and, I hope, as a writer in the decade since this four-book series made its way into the world. I'm really excited that readers who might have missed these in my catalog may discover them. In some ways, they are a lot different from the books I'm writing now. For example, three of the four are written in third person, and I now write exclusively in first person. And yet hallmarks of what readers expect from a Kennedy Ryan novel today—the writing style, the heart, the flawed characters, the messiness and hurt and healing and guaranteed joy—all were in these books even then. 

 

I was several books in before I think I truly found my voice, which is, to me, not just what you write, but why you do. The why  always affects my what, and that understanding reshaped the landscape of what I write and whose stories I most want to tell. The seeds of what is important to my work now can be found in these earliest books, too. The new covers, broader distribution and availability of audiobooks for the first time are such a fantastic way to reintroduce these stories and this era of my writing journey. I hope you love the new look and enjoy the ride!

 

Love, Kennedy

 

 

Meet Kennedy



A RITA® and Audie® Award winner, USA Today bestselling author Kennedy Ryan writes for women from all walks of life, empowering them and placing them firmly at the center of each story and in charge of their own destinies. Her heroes respect, cherish, and lose their minds for the women who capture their hearts. Kennedy and her writings have been featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul, USA Today, Entertainment Weekly, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, TIME, O magazine, and many others. She is a wife to her lifetime lover and mother to an extraordinary son.

 

Connect with Kennedy

Website: https://kennedyryanwrites.com/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7429243.Kennedy_Ryan

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Kennedy-Ryan/author/B00HBHK09Q

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KennedyRyanAuthor

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/681604768593989

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kennedyryan1/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kennedyrwrites

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kennedyryanauthor

Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/kennedy-ryan

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/kennedyryan/

Text KennedyRyan to (678) 647-7912

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader Masterlist

The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader Masterlist

A/N: ITS FINALLY HERE AFTER 6 YEARS OF WORKING ON IT!!!

This is an insanely long series as it will follow the events of the entire Infinity Saga from The Avengers to Endgame and a little further. Therefore it will contain MAJOR SPOILERS for the infinity saga!

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Odinson!Reader

Summary: After being taken from earth as a baby by your father Odin, you finally get the chance to visit your home planet. To save it from your older brother Loki. Using your powers over the elements you help the Avengers defeat him, finding a new home and friends. 

Warnings: Torturously slow slow burn! Language! Angst! Fluff! Alcohol Consumption! Canon typical violence! Description of Blood and Injuries! Character Deaths! SMUT 18+ ONLY! More detailed warnings will be given with each chapter. 

Status: Complete

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary​ for update notifications

Part 1: Fell straight from heaven

Part 2: Galaga and Flying Monkeys

Part 3: Lack of Conviction

Part 4: The Battle of New York

Part 5: Some Shawarma and a See You Later

Part 6: Time to Catch Up

Part 7: Visiting Some Old Friends

Part 8: Back to School

Part 9: Everyone needs a hot lunch

Part 10: The First Mission

Part 11: A Lot Of Thanks To Give

Part 12: Reality Gone Haywire 

Part 13: A Hesitant Hello and Sad Goodbye

Part 14: Imitation Games

Part 15: Not an Illusion

Part 16: Converge on Greenwich

Part 17: Coney Island

Part 18: Modernisation and a couple of tricks

Part 19: Freeze The Room

Part 20: Even Gods Get Sick

Part 21: Not my idea of a cruise

Part 22: Get with the program Cap

Part 23: Ears and Eyes Everywhere 

Part 24: Kinda Feels Personal

Part 25: Honeymoon Planning

Part 26: Return of the Dead

Part 27: Everything Goes

Part 28: Making Room

Part 29: Moving Day

Part 30: Follow the trail

Part 31: Scary Big Brother

Part 32: Camp Harmony

Part 33: The Wrong Hostage

Part 34: Things that go bang in the night*

Bonus Chapter: Scary Good Time (Takes place at the same time as Part 34)

Bonus Chapter: Slow Mornings *

Part 35: A Trip Back In Times*

Part 36: A Year On*

Part 37: A Field Trip To Sokovia

Part 38: JARVIS, We got a buggy suit

Part 39: Firecracker Girlfriend

Part 40: They Have To Evolve

Part 41: That was Strange

Part 42: Son of a bitch

Part 43: You need to rest

Part 44: The Princess of Asgard*

Part 45: A bit of planning and some broken tiles *

Part 46: Fighting your double

Part 47: A big day and long night*

Part 48: The List*

Part 49: Hot and Bothered*

Part 50: Magic Mistletoe

Part 51: The rat that didn’t drown

Part 52: Your Buddy, Your Bucky

Part 53: Electromagnetic Headache

Part 54: Honourable Discharge

Part 55: Making Things Worse

Part 56: Mission Report: December 16th 1991

Part 57: Battered and Bruised

Part 58: Prison Break

Part 59: Night Terrors

Part 60: Welcome to Asgard

Part 61: Not Inadequate*

Part 62: A Skeleton In The Closet

Part 63: Chicken Noodle Soup

Part 64: A New Home*

Part 65: Out of the Ice*

Part 66: Steve the Goat*

Part 67: Pink or Blue

Part 68: Shred Of Hope

Part 69: Dramatic Arrival

Part 70: It’s all a bit too much

Part 71: A Big Day*

Part 72: We Don’t Trade Lives

Part 73: Get This Man A Shield

Part 74: Battle of Wakanda

Part 75: The Ones Left Behind

Part 76: The Garden

Part 77: The Five Stages to Moving On

Part 78: Finding Scout

Part 79: First Day Nerves

Part 80: Up In The Stars

Bonus Drabble: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

Part 81: I Don’t Like Bullies

Part 82: A Chance

Part 83: A Bigger Brain

Part 84: The EPR Paradox

Part 85: Time to Brainstorm

Part 86: The Time Heist

Part 87: A Soul For A Soul

Part 88: Time Messed Back

Part 89: The Aftermath

Part 90: Bigger Than The Whole Sky

Part 91: One Last Mission

Part 92: Teething Problems

Part 93: Back To Work

Part 94: Birthday Boys

Part 95: Last To Leave The Party*