#its literally described as a schizotaxia/spec thing so i know why but its truly horrible
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anyone else feel incapable of true enjoyment or love without your own mental panopticon you ingrained since you were a child for being neurodivergent, telling you all your physical and mental processes are shameful or ’cringe’ or its that just me
#idk really how to describe it other than that#but its like im staring at a bug under a microscope and making observations of it existing as a seperate organism#rather than just existing#its literally described as a schizotaxia/spec thing so i know why but its truly horrible#vurr.log
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