#its like: shit fuck i forget the words uhhhh i dont remember and also i cant read these fucking notes

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Dyslexic to dyslexic miscommunication. Just two brains malfunctioning at eachother.

[macklives]

hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term ��lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

[gratiasancti]

100 PERSONAL QUESTIONS

because @ineffablequestion​ decided to really put my patience to the test today . not that i mind , ily .

1. What is your middle name ?

maria 

2. How old are you ?

23 as of right now !

3. When is your birthday?

oct. 19th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

libra waddup

5. What is your favorite color?

i don’t really have one ? muted colours probably

6. What’s your lucky number?

again, can’t say i have one but maybe 29

7. Do you have any pets?

a dod and a horse

8. Where are you from?

finland / uk

9. How tall are you?

174 cm

10. What shoe size are you?

eu 39-40

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

like seven, if you don’t count my collection of riding shoes and boots. oxfords, brogues, wellies, trainers, and the rest are probably heels. as for riding boots, a lot.

12. What was your last dream about?

that i was late from work and got thrown in a tar pit because of it. and then i sold my old history teacher 500€ worth of alcohol and lottery tickets.

13. What talents do you have?

none?? unlimited sarcasm, idk

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i’m not sure if i believe in this stuff

15. Favorite song?

honestly, anything from hippo campus or glass animals.

16. Favorite movie?

the grand budapest hotel

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who counteracts some of my anxiety and excitedness with a calm and, when needed, firm character but is still funny and can be themselves. preferably someone who i feel is my intellectual equal, and we can share everything with each other. maybe a bit older than myself, but not by much. other than that, i really don’t care.

18. Do you want children?

currently, i can’t see myself ever having kids. just doesn’t seem like my thing. especially babies. maybe adopting or fostering could be an option, but only if i was sure i could give the child a good home.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i don’t think i want to get married

20. Are you religious?

not particularly

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

maaaaaaany times. multiple riding accidents, broken bones, a car crash. then just being an idiot in general. and chronic back problems.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

apart from once forgetting to pay for the underground and getting an 80€ fine, no.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

i’ve met and had dinner with two different finnish presidents and some other ‘upper class’ people but other than that, no. 

24. Baths or showers?

one of those rain shower things

25. What color socks are you wearing?

i have no socks !!!

26. Have you ever been famous?

uhhhh not in the literal sense of the word but i’ve been infamous at school when i was like 15. made a meme of one of our teachers that went low key viral in our city.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

definitely not in the hollywood sense of things. 

28. What type of music do you like?

a lot of things. anything, really, depending on the time of day and if i’m feeling particularly emo.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

that’s like the only type of swimming finnish people partake in. naked in the sauna, naked in the lake/ocean. so yes, multiple times a year jhdsnhb

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

currently like five

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

either on my back or on my stomach. depends on what place hurts that day lmao.

32. How big is your house?

closer to 400 m^2 . i still live with my parents but will move into my own flat in six months, once it’s ready. that’s going to be appx 70 m^2.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i know its a bad habit but i often dont have breakfast. if i do it's usually fruit and yoghurt or some toast.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yes

35. Have you ever tried archery?

yes. fun fact; my cousin has won the european championchip ( in some form of archery idk ) like twice , i think. 

36. Favorite clean word?

defenestrate

37. Favorite swear word?

fuck. i use it Too Much™

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

can’t remember the exact amount of hours but we were sailing and our shifts got messed up to the point where i had either not slept at all or slept so little in like four days i was genuinely hallucinating. almost jumped into the sea because i thought i dropped my life vest,,, which i was wearing.

39. Do you have any scars?

a few. dumbest one probably when i rode in my shorts but used a saddle and rubbed the skin off of my calf. also from hay work, those little dots that look almost like moles.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

not that i know of

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, unfortunately. it’s a bad habit in the sense that i tell a lot of white lies when i could genuinely tell the truth with no consequence. like, it would be the one and the same.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

also yes. i’ve seen some shit. also i have surprisingly good people skills.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i can speak english in my normal accent which is kind of queen’s english (?) upper class idk, then in world’s english ( so basically no accent / neutral ) and then in finnish (rally) english .  i can also speak swedish with a rikssvenska (standard swedish ???) accent and then finlandssvenska which is finnish swedish (and an actual thing lmao). also i can butcher a norwegian or danish accent in swedish if i really try. my finnish is very neutral, but it does vary a bit depending on what city i’m in.

oh, and also a shitty southern american accent. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

if i let it shine through, yes, but i tend toward world english because anything else scares finns. but when i speak finnish (which is most of the time) i don’t really have an accent. maybe you can hear that i’m not 100% finnish but that’s about it.

45. What is your favorite accent?

i don’t really have one ! all accents are really fascinating.

46. What is your personality type?

entj-a

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i have a few expensive dresses, and then of course my riding clothes which cost ridiculous amounts of money because fuck everyone who likes horses, i guess. like excuse me but why is it normalised that you pay over 1000€ for a helmet??? anything less and you’re a peasant.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

mmmmyeah. 

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie!

50. Left or right handed?

pretty much ambidextrous, though i prefer to write with my left but do everything else mostly with my right. my handwriting doesn’t differ too much from left to write.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

yes. ew. and we’re lucky to only have tiny ones in finland !

52. Favorite food?

ummmmm. currently carelian pie maybe?? idk such a good snack.

53. Favorite foreign food?

squints??? sushi????

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

depends. often too lazy to clean but incredibly stressed and uncomfortable when its messy. meticulous about all the wrong things.

55. Most used phrase?

either some form of keysmash or “FUCK”. also in finnish either “voi jumalauta” or “voi saatana” which both basically translate to “jesus fucking christ”.

56. Most used word?

also fuck. this really must say something about me smdh.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

really depends. sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes two hours. on a normal day w/ shower and moderate make up, 15-25 minutes.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

depends really. i hope i don’t!

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

whomst the FUCK bites lollipops ?!?!?!

60. Do you talk to yourself?

i’ve only recently started. it’s terrifying.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

when driving if i’m listening to music, yeah

62. Are you a good singer?

honestly, no clue. i don’t really sing in front of people so i haven’t gotten opinions.

63. Biggest Fear?

failure.

64. Are you a gossip?

not about my friends, ever. but i will definitely listen to any tea you want to spill.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk does kingsman count as dramatic?? the first one was hilarious.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

both have their perks!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

LMAO i can name like 3 if i really try.

68. Favorite school subject?

history, english lang & lit, economics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

extrovert but i get tired easily

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

yes ! we go to the maldives once in a while, because finland doesn’t offer much in terms of diving sites.

71. What makes you nervous?

not a lot of things? i guess some responsibilities. things left for me to do even if someone else was supposed to do them.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

a dark room ? no. a dark forest at midnight ? hell yess. finnish winter darkness is terrifying simply because its so depressing. seasonal depression is real yall.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends. if it’s a trivial mistake and they haven’t asked to be corrected, no. if it makes me or someone else feel bad or just makes any situation worse, then yes. but never unkindly.

74. Are you ticklish?

YES. ugh

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

no. i can’t recall doing so, at least. but i have participated in spreading them.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

yes. at work a couple of times simply out of necessity and also when i took part in MEP. was committee president twice and president of the general assembly once. though idk if that counts since i was like 17 and its all p much play pretend.

oh! and also when i captain our boat. but again, idk if that counts.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah, ever since i was like 16 :/

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no, and never will. not my thing !!

79. Who was your first real crush?

probably a boy from class. i can’t remember, really. i’ve never been too  ‘romantically inclined’ i  suppose.

80. How many piercings do you have?

just my ears, once.

81. Can you roll your Rs?

almost every r in the finnish language is technically rolled so yeah. i feel bad for those finnish people who cant !! makes everything so hard.

82. How fast can you type?

according to this thing 75 words per minute on my first try, so idk how accurate that is.

83. How fast can you run?

not fast. i  hate running, and am very out of practice. 

84. What color is your hair?

idk ? like, light brown ?

85. What color are your eyes?

again, idk. blue/green/grey

86. What are you allergic to?

dogs, cats, birch, and almost anything that flowers in the spring jshbdsjh

87. Do you keep a journal?

not a journal per se but i have a ‘little black book’ which i keep rather meticulously about my thoughts on the day, important things i need to remember, my expenses etc. a habit inherited from my dad. i’ve gone through like six of these in the past few years.

88. What do your parents do?

my mum is a mayor and my dad is a ceo

89. Do you like your age?

yeah !

90. What makes you angry?

injustice.

91. Do you like your own name?

yes !

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

ksjdsjhb no. at this rate i’d end up naming a child crowley or sum shit

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i don’t want kids but if i did gender would be a non issue

94. What are you strengths?

lmao i have good people skills, work well under pressure, get along with everyone, am determined and ?? a good leader??? idk

95. What are your weaknesses?

i take on too much responsibility, i have anxiety and depression, i get frustrated at my own failures, i’m very self-critical and unforgiving. also no self-control when it comes to rp.

96. How did you get your name?

i think somewhere from my dad’s side, not entirely sure.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

possibly? not sure. but fun fact! a great great grandmother (? or something of the sorts) from my mother’s side actually survived the sinking of the titanic.

98. Do you have any scars?

wasn’t this asked already?

99. Color of your bedspread?

this blue mandala like pattern idk

100. Color of your room?

white and a very mellow blue

[cxnsigliere]

ALL THE QUESTIONS BINCH and no erica totally didnt send this to herself haha what r u talking about.

when u desperately send an ask meme to urself bc u just wanna talk about ur dumb oc for no reason whatsoever

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

about 10 minutes for king! he really cannot stay still for very long tbh, blame it on ADHD for the most part. if he sits down for too long, he starts to get really antsy and squirms in his seat the whole entire time. also a big reason why he always be skippin class in his high school verses roijwoirjgaegogij

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

very easy! honestly king usually makes himself laugh more than anything else tho. hes the kind of person who laughs at his own jokes. but honestly all u gotta do is tell like even the world’s shittiest joke to him and he’ll probably start cryin from laughter

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

usually he’s just out like a light, so he doesnt have to do very much to put himself to sleep. if theres ever a night where he cannot sleep tho, tHEN HE GETS OUT THE ALCOHOL UNTIL HE PASSES OUT DRUNK, KING NO THATS BAD,

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

pretty easy tbh?? like as long as you dont scare him and ur nice to him, he’s probably gonna trust u right off the bat

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

ALSO PRETTY EASY. it all just depends how you act towards him.

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

i guess it depends idk. generally immovable tho, but then, when has king ever gave a single fuck about the law???????????

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

he doesnt usually like to think about his past very much and avoids thinking about it as much as possible. he’s not sure what necessarily triggers any nostalgia for him– but when he’s left alone in silence with nothing but his own thoughts, that’s when he starts to think about his childhood, his dad, basically everything, and he hates it. thats why he very much prefers loud environments and likes to be in the company of other people, no matter who it is. he just hates having to think. if he’s ever in a situation where he’s stuck thinking about his past, especially if it has to do with amber kennedy or veronica delgado, he quickly turns to alcohol to drown out all his thoughts.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

his mother absolutely hated his smoking habits. of course, that wasn’t just him tho, bc his dad was a pretty heavy smoker too, but king would often be scolded by his mom because of it– especially when he ever got caught by a teacher smoking in school.

his father would often tell him, “Think before you say or do anything.” (as u can tell, its a lesson that went in one ear, out the other for king. lol) it’s because seeing as his dad was raising him to be a soldato someday, king would need a lot of brains for it. after all, working in the mafia can be very dangerous, and if you piss of the wrong people, you can obviously wind up dead very fast. and needless to say, king has always been skilled at pissing people off.

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

DUDE king has the mouth of a SAILOR!!!!!!! in case u didnt notice in his thread with sam lmao. as for his first ever swear, he probably just said the classic ol’ “FUCK” but i highly doubt he remembers it, bc he’s been swearin literally since he was like 8. blame his parents for that, he picked it up from them from watching them shout swears at each other 24/7. ironically, he’d always smack his siblings on the back of the head if he ever heard either of them swear.

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

the whole trial of Amber Kennedy’s murder tbh. that was basically nothing but lies, and how he first was able to get away with killing her for a while in the first place (until the case was reviewed ofc). it still haunts him, but not because he regrets killing Amber or anything, but more because that’s the whole reason his mother lost her job as a lawyer. he feels more bad about that than killing someone.

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

seek clarification! unless he’s trying to prove that he’s right about something.

12. Already answered!

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

brown, as u can tell by his design which has like 93850245 shades of brown in it. id say its probably his best color! that, or red.

14. What animal do they fear most?

bIG DOGS

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

he talks like fuckin LIGHTNING man. he talks so goddamn fast, someone slow him down pls. he also never thinks before he says anything (often making him say the most horrible things at the wrong time). he’s got a very small vocabulary and hates using or even hearing big words.

16. What makes their stomach turn?

anything that’s like dark or “””scary”””. basically goth aesthetic? scares the shit outta him. i know it’s such a weird thing, but listen, king is a pussy.

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

not really. dude has no shame when it comes to most things, but there probably are certain things that can embarrass him.

18. What embarrasses them?

his fear of water! he sees it as such a silly thing to be deathly afraid of, and never wants to admit it.

19. What is their favorite number?

69 UHHHH 28 bc thats his lucky number!

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

he doesn’t really know how to put it into words, but there certainly is a big difference with them. someone he’s romantically attracted to is the kind of person that will make his heart skip a beat or make him easily flustered and be with all day every day!

for platonic, it depends on just how deep that friendship goes– like a simple friendly acquaintance he couldnt really give less of a fuck about, its just someone he can joke around with, but there does come a point where they feel like a second family to him, and he would go into harm’s way to protect that person, so long as it doesn’t put his life at risk.

for familial love, it’s a little complicated with him. King loves all of his family very much, but after all that he did to his parents in his earlier years, he knows that they don’t always feel the same way toward him, or most people in his family are just so disappointed with how he turned out, that he couldn’t handle it– it’s such a big reason why he faked his death and abandoned most of his family aside for a few. he wants to protect them, and to do so, he feels he should just stay away from them. (tbh tho hes probably right his family dont deserve him)

21. Why do they get up in the morning? 

mostly just bc he’s got that Elderly Person Sleep Schedule™ hONESTLY. he goes to sleep very early and wakes up early. for no reason in particular either, it’s just the way he likes. unless, of course, there comes a night where he blacks out drunk, in which case, his sleep schedule is all over the place.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? 

SEEING SOMEONE HE WANTS THE ATTENTION OF HAVING FUN WITH SOMEONE ELSE….. it can be either a friend or a lover, but if they’re having fun without him and completely ignore him, hE’LL GET SO MAD LIKE JFC…… he’s been getting better about it, but it can become scary real fast at some point. he’s very, very possessive and gets jealous VERY easily. mostly just bc he wants all the attention 24/7

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

he hates hates hates seeing people with their dads. he gets so jealous and remembers “oH HEY, MY DAD IS FUCKIN’ DEAD. HAHA!!!” he doesn’t actually do anything about it, but he does become very pouty and depressed. probably a great time for alcohol for him tbh

24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

absolutely!!!!!! he’ll talk about it with almost just about anyone bc he has no shame.

25. What are their thoughts on marriage? 

he’s not really sure, and he’s a little hesitant to think about marriage (at least rn anyway bc hes still p young). after his countless shitty experiences with relationships in the past, and witnessing how bad his mom and dad’s marriage was, it’s really not something he likes to think about.

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?

any old-fashioned ass car tbh. any car from the 30s? hell yes.

27. What causes them to feel dread?

anything that makes him feel threatened in any way tbh

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

YES. ABSOLUTELY. he’d rather hear what he wants to hear than what he needs to hear.

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

well his ideal self would be to be exactly like his dad, and so far, that is nOT THE CASE. SO NOPE.

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

AMBER

31. Already answered!

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

not really. he forgets most of the shit he says bc he has a terrible memory.

33. Could they be considered lazy?

nah, i dont think so. he’s almost always outside wandering around and actually doing productive shit, and hates feeling lethargic.

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

BINCH IT STAYS WITH HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE-

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

sure! i mean it depends what it is tho

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

he actively seeks it– i mean he’s not gonna go around searching for some cute person, but if he just so happens to see someone he finds attractive, u bet ur ass he’s gonna go flirt with that person.

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

not really. if it’s something that’s really important, he’ll just write it down in a mini notepad he always has with him.

38. Already answered!

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

it depends who it is. if it’s someone he likes, he usually just ignores all their flaws and holds them in a “theyre fucking perfect in every way omfg” viewpoint. if it’s someone that generally bugs him, basically every single thing they do annoys the shit out of him.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

very much so, especially when they’re pointed out at all! but he usually refuses to think about it, because he wants to believe he’s practically perfect (he knows deep down he isnt tho)

41. How do they feel about children?

king loves kids, and wants children when he’s older someday! which is ironic, bc he actually SUCKS with kids. dont let him have any. pls.

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

he’s not really sure what his end goal is at the moment.

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

“girls are nice as FUCK, but also, who the hell gives a shit, ill fuck anyone”he doesnt even know what his sexuality is tbh, rip king

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?

GOD as infuriating as king can be, he’s just so exciting to write!!!!! like, it’s impossible to be in a bad mood when ur writing with king, its so fun.

B) What inspired you to create them?

i wanted to make an oc that looked kinda like Q from Street Fighter, and I also based him heavily on Al Capone! As to how I came up with the alias ‘King’, i literally got it from King from Tekken bc why not. except oc King himself thought of it bc he lived in Kings, New York

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

not really! king is pretty unpredictable, even for me, but he’s so easy to fit into just about anything.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

ive edited how he looks a LOT tbh. when i first made him, his design was a lot more simple, and he was sKINNY….. and god let me tell u, looking back, seeing king as skinny is so unsettling. his scarred eye also changed a lot, i used to b a lazy ass and just draw a black line through his eye, but now its like FULL ON WIDE-OPEN SLASH THAT FUCKING DESTROYED HIS PUPIL AND IRIS YKNOW… idk just small things like that

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

HELL NO……… NOT AT ALL. im the type of person king would be afraid of, and he has a lot of personality traits in him that i dESPISE IN A PERSON……….. like if i met king irl id probably try to fight him honestly.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

UHHH A LOT OF EMOTIONS GOIN ON THERE MAN. im proud of him like ooc wise bc hes such a unique muse with a unique backstory that so many people actually enjoy and wanna hear about, and holy shit that makes me so happy?!?!?! but also ANGERY bc. well, i mean, its king. hes an aSSHOLE.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

BOY THERES A LOT, but if i had to go with one, probably the fact that king nEVER OWNS UP TO HIS MCFUCKING MISTAKES!!!!! like if u call him out on his bullshit he’ll be all like “UM I DID NOTHING WRONG, WHY AM I BEING BULLIED??” AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD, I WANNA SMACK HIM!!!!!!!

H) What trait do you admire most?

hes funny as hell, like, u gotta give him that. whether he means to be funny or not, hE CRACKS ME THE HELL UP

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

tbh yes, bc he kinda is meant to be a huge New Yorker dude, and he doesnt fit very well in any verse where he has like magic powers or shit like that bc i can only see him as a plain ass human being tbh??? idk if that makes any sense but. i mEAN I DONT REALLY CARE THO, ILL STILL THROW HIM IN LIKE 100000 VERSES ANYWAY.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

not really i think idk????? i mean ive had to revamp his backstory like a SHIT TON SO MANY TIMES, and even now i still sometimes get like huge realizations of his backstory that can definitely change every now and then. and back in the Olden Days™, i used to write him as like this huge moody crybaby, but also someone who had no fears whatsoever and overpowered as fuck and eventually i was like “ok i gotta buckle the fuck down and actually write him the way i see him, tf am i doing :/” and GOD i hate the way i used to write him when i first made him and shit, he had such an edgy backstory and his personality was like “LOL NO WEAKNESSES” but lOOK AT HIM NOW…….. he has come a long way as a character and im happy

[authenticaussie]

✫ MarcoAceSabo 86

Commissions! || Ko-fi!

ace as a runaway god

he’s basically just a teenager who Does Not Know what he’s meant to be doin in his immortal life and w o w he’s super bored and also his dad is an asshole to humans? lol?​ ace does not agree? don’t be a dick dad

sO BASICALLY HE POOFS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AS A “HEY DAD IMA GO LIVE W/ HUMANS BC I WANT TO HAVE A BETTER WAY TO SAY FUCK YOU”. Roger is UPSET and torn bc he’s like oh! I remember this stage of my life! Wanting to find myself! Burning shit! Exploring! Stealing things! but then he’s also like [godly scream] “WHERE IS MY SON”

Also Ace is a dumbas bc he doesn’t tell his mom and so she’s actually on Roger’s side and is like no i do not support my runaway son he hasn’t sent us a single letter im very mad at this young man. He could’ve at least said goodbye before disappearing w/o a word!!!

Chasing Twisters by Delta Rey is a Good Time for this AU (especially the first lines; ‘I was born / with lightning in my heels / set a spur upon my ankle / put a horse under the steel’ )

Anyway! Ace ends up travelling a lot and bein a dork and accidentally outing himself as godly all the time omfg. He’ll fly up to pick fruit and fall out of shit and get stabbed and be fine and then get confused when people freak out???? It’s hysterical

ANYWAY he figures out how to (relatively) pass as human ///after like so many errors omfg and ends up running into Marco!! Who travels from town to town doin magic and offering his protection and trying to chase down an old god / some other myths just because he’s a curious fucker

Ace STILL fucks up being human it’s a GOOD TIME, LIKE!!! They’re campin somewhere, idk, near a mountain pass???? huge rocks everywhere???? and Ace keeps picking up rocks and throwing them everywhere like they’re nothing and Marco’s like “uhhhh isnt like. That huge stone monument heavy????”

-ace, holding it w/ one hand over his head and cursing as he tries to find where his hat has gone-  "uH YES. HAHA. WOW. YEAH. ITS EXHAUSTING. CANT HOLD THIS FOR LONG!!!!“ ///drops it awkwardly with a thundering crash

Basically what I’m saying is Marco totally knows he’s at least a demigod / blessed by the gods but is so unperturbed by this bc he’s a demigod too? (Ace being an actual god is another story entirely.)

a n y w a y they go through a town where a friend of marco’s called Sabo lives and Ace gets along w/ him super well and they have a lot of common interests and Marco moves on to the next few towns by this. like. mountain thing that encloses it??? so it’s  a dead end basically??? and ace stays and gets to know sab better

whispers Sabo’s Totally Flirting with / flustered around Marco but marco doesn’t notice s h i t

Anyway Marco comes back and is like yeah I usually stay here for the winter bc the passes freeze over so badly??? And Ace knows he should go and that he could easily find his way, the cold has never bothered him, but he-

he stays

(they’re fascinating, and they’re clever, and they’re kind, and Ace finds himself drawn to Marco’s easy grins and Sabo’s quick, clever tongue just as easily as he’s drawn to a flame). They turn from “heyyyy humans are so Interesting” into “These Humans are so interesting” into “these are my friends and they’re so interesting and Have Interests that  I love hearing them talk abt”

ACE STARTS GETTING SUPER FLUSTERED AND NERVOUS AROUND THEM AND ACCIDENTALLY USING HIS POWERS AND FORGETTING WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO. AND THEN TRYING TO COVER IT UP LIIKE “WOAH SURE WAS A COINCIDENCE THAT ALL THESE CANDLES IGNITED AT ONCE HAHAHAH”

Marco ends up just patting sab’s shoulder and leaning down to whispers that he thinks ace’s old place didn’t take to kindly to demigods and sabo’s like ooooohhh and they NEVER BRING IT UP

Ace eventually!!!!!!! asks them on a date!!!!!!!!! and theyre like weren’t we already doing that????????? and Ace is like what. no. uu taking me ice skating and me taking u to a frozen waterfall that i unfroze for the two of your bc Marco Looked Sad are totally not dates!

Fuck ace goes a minute later. Sabo bursts out laughing bc he’s thinks it’s h i l a r i o u s and even Marco’s having to hold back a grin and Ace buries his face in his hands and is like why didn’t you TELL ME and sabo laughs even harder

Proper date!!! With ace giving them flowers !!! that he flew to idk persephone’s garden to get or smth and trying to Look his Best and marco and sabo are like. hearts melting awww gosh he’s just Trying So Hard they think it’s adorable they’re dying

BUT LOL ANYWAY WHILE THEY’RE ON THEIR DATE ROGER ENDS UP FINDING ACE BC ACE HAS BEEN IN ONE PLACE FOR SO LONG

AND SUMMONS THE THREE OF THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR DATE

AND ACE IS LIKE FUCK SERIOUSLY???????? W O R S T TIMING

also: “if i jumped off this god-summons cloud would u two get mad???”

“UM YES???” goes sabo, “dont leave us alone to face your boss!! you asshole!!!”

B o sss//// ace says, wheeze-laugh-dying, and Sabo’s like that’s Not making me Feel Better

“Lol so like……….I know this is breaking the only rule of first dates……..but like. Hey. Guys. Meet uh…My family lol”

[Marco, internally dying as he stares up at the towering figures that are Obviously trying to tower just for the kicks but haha doin a Good Job]

Sabo and Marco, slowly processing their boyfriend is n o t in fact a demigod, but rather an ACTUAL FUCKING GOD

WHAT THE FUCK ACE is Sabo’s first thought

that explains the rock thing is Marco’s first thought, followed by how the FUCK did i not see this coming

Roger who’s trying to glare at ace for running away and leaving, like NO!!!! NO!!! NOTE!!! THIS IS NOT POLITE BEHAVIOUR, SON!!!!

but then also DATES??????????? D A T E S ???? HIS LIL BOY IS D A T I N G??? HE’S ONLY LIKE 200 YEARS OLD HE SHOULD NOT BE DATING THATS ONLY LIKE 20 IN HUMAN YEARS

Roger who’s trying to look sternly @ ace and also threaten sabo/marco at the same time

Rouge standing in the background like “ace im going to kill you how dare you not say goodbye to me” except like the vague aura is directed at everyone (Mainly ace but like. Everyone knows she’s Super Annoyed)

Look Ace if you’d Just Said Goodbye, everything would have been Fine. Your mom’s Cool.

You didn’t say goodbye

or send her a single letter telling her how you were

she’s not that cool

Roger basically Dismissing Marco/Sabo and Ace gets super pissy and starts y e l l i n g at roger and then bc it’s like. realm of the gods ala mt Olympus or w/e the surroundings start to echo the mood and Ace is quite literally spitting fire and is shifting more and more into his less human form???? So a lot Taller and glowing, wispy eyes, and parts of him encased in flames, flames trapped and visible beneath his skin and Sabo reaches for Marco’s hand because he’s never seen Ace this angry and look he’s only human, he’s been exposed to a lot and he’s pretty brave, but Ace is-

upset. he doesn’t want to see Ace upset, because it hurts something in his own chest, and he can tell by Marco’s tight grip on his hand that Marco feels the same way

But then they almost get hurt in the backlash of Ace / Roger’s argument, and Marco yells at them to stop and Ace gets snapped back to himself rather than just the anger he is in god form, and almost immediately shrinks, and Roger gets SUPER mad bc he thinks they’ve been manipulating ace???????/ and trying to make him smaller than he is????? trying to make him human, and Roger views humans the same way one might view a stray, mangy pet; pityable, and a bit cute and fun to play with, but not-

not worth much.

“This is what humans are! They’re cowards and liars and thieves! And these two are trying to-”

“Make me fucking happy!?” Ace yells back, but he stays small and stands in front of his friends and refuses to go to his dad’s level because he’d gotten better. He wasn’t so angry and useless and bored and entertaining himself by hurting people, he was-

(Humans are worth just as much as gods. they sacrifice themselves for nothing more than it is right and kindness, when they know they won’t come back, when they know people won’t remember them, or know their names, or think of them again. Humans don’t ask to be worshipped, or praised, humans just- are.)

(And these two? These two, the way roger had spit out who they were like that could encapsulate who they were-)

Roger puts her hand on Roger’s shoulder just as Ace turns his back on his father and whispers carefully to sabo and asks if he’s okay and runs his fingers over Marco’s hand and assures himself that theyre okay and apologises for what happened and asks them to forgive him for hiding the truth and Ace being interested in something again, not looking lifeless and hollow and bored, and how ace had been arguing to protect them rather than just arguing because he was so uselessly angry-

Ace turning around again to glare at his father and snapping his fingers and dropping them back on earth and staggering to the side bc he didnt usually do that and Marco immediately helps steady him and they just

talk softly into the early hours of the morning and ace presses careful kisses to their cheekbones and lips and hands like he’s the one worshipping them, their callouses and scars and birthmarks, the way their bodies have changed over the years in ways that his never will, because he can change how he appears

There’s peace, for a week, a peace of careful exchanges as they slowly grow comfortable with this new knowledge - ace knowing that they know, marco and sabo coming to terms with the fact that ace could be terrifying (but he’d never scared them. he’d never, ever tried to scare them)

Then Rouge shows up. Obviously a goddess in human form, obviously perfect, obviously gentle and kind and smiling, and presses a kiss to Ace’s cheek and then one to Sabo’s and then one to Marco’s, and she smells like flowers and summer and home, like warmth and love and she’s so- perfect

Ace is cautious, because his mother can be worse than his father (he loves her more, afterall, she’s his mom and she has always been the one to protect him, with a fury that he never wants to be on the receiving end of). She smiles at him and tells him that as long as he’s happy she’s fine but that a letter or two wouldn’t have gone amiss and basically invites herself in to have tea / lunch and makes ace tell her about all his adventures and he starts off carefully and faltering because he still thinks it’s some plan of his father’s, but she laughs at all the right moments and asks questions and is just

his mom. She’s his mom and she loves the fuck out of him-

and he’s happy. Any fool could see that, and no fool would take him away from that

She bids them goodbye at sunset, promising to come back later if invited, and Ace says that he’ll try, and then rouge asks him to grab her shawl from inside and shoos him off to get it and looks at Sabo and Marco and her eyes soften and that almost makes it worse when she says, “you won’t hurt him, would you?” because to answer yes would be to disappoint her

Then Marco shakes his head and glares at her and goes we won’t. But not because we’re afraid of you, but because we don’t want to hurt him. First and foremost he’s our friend.

Rouge smiles, properly this time, with teeth and laughter and it sounds a bit threatening but they can tell she’s amused. “I’m so glad he found you.”

She kisses them both on the cheek and is gone before Ace comes out with empty hands, and they’re left to explain what happened before she left (Ace sighs and apologises, and Sabo laughs and says he’d never expected to deal with gods in his daily life).

Random members of ace’s family show up sometimes. Rouge declared it a Thing. They just. give the mas fam stuff. Tree that blooms all year round. Tiny plants / terrariums that are accurate details of places they know, right down to the tiny - living - animals. glass panes that show the weather in the future and mirrors that put together what you want to wear and have it folded up on the bench when you come back.

They don’t realise they’re still younger than everyone else until they realise just how old everyone else is. They don’t realise that gifts from the gods are sometimes ones you can’t see. They don’t realise, but by the point they do there is nothing to contest; they don’t want to leave Ace, and Ace doesn’t want to leave them. It helps that, for all the years they were living in the city/town no-one had become super c l o s e to them.  

They get known as the weird magicians at the end of the road, and kids get dared to knock on their door and ask for stuff. Sometimes ace opens it with part of his eye on fire and sometimes marco answers it with dough on his face and laughter from behind him and strange things in the kitchen and sometimes Sabo answers it but keeps the door half closed and as you walk home you can swear there’s something by your side.

(“What do you get when you mix home and something free?” Rouge asks one day, before they’re really comfortable around each other, tapping her teaspoon against the side of her cup, ankles crossed and poise perfect, and Sabo makes a curious noise in the back of his throat.

“What?”

Rouge smiles mischievously. “You already know him.”)

a Thing that I tried to write as the Start that would’ve been Fun: (from an alt!idea where Ace was literally on the run from angry gods for having stolen something ala prometheus and sabo/marco are gods/demigods sent to get it back but Whoops they’re In Love now).

Ace had run away from a lot of things in his life.

He’d been doing it his entire life, after all.

(He just really hadn’t expected to add “fleeing from angry gods” to his list of skills.)

[ilygsd]

200918: 1

someone fuck me in the asshole honestly im shocked how can this dude NOT UNDERSTAND??? hes really good at cognitive empathy, he has a nice moral compass he follows ”be kind, be nice” but he cant fucking FEEL what hes doing

and like....... thats important to me??? and apaprebtly NO ONE has ever criticized him for it or whatever? like his ”intentions”?? ofc he cant help he doesnt feel emotional empathy but he literally cant spot the DIFFERENCE!!! he’s like ”as long as im kind and a nice human being” like bitch NOO!!!! i like you!!! you ”like” me, but you like me bc u think im interesting and you think we can learn from each other. which also is important OF COURSE!! but BITCH I LIKE YOU BC I FEEL FOR YOU THATS DIFFERENT

we’ve known each other for like 3 weeks, met 5 times and we’ve already had 3 major fights??? mainly over text/phone but still.... he’s so fycking mean? he really tries to manipulate me that ugly fucking whore!!! he guilt trips me all the fuxking time i cant say anything he’ll explode and i need to apologize or some shit otherwisw it would never end. and i know what the fuck he’s doing because i used to be the exact same. honestly we are similar in many aspecrs EXCEPT for the ”feel”-part. i feel TOO MUCH. and the difference is that im not manipulating him.... because i KNOW i cant. i know he’d see right through me, there’s no POINT

like i used to be like that too, maybe i still am. i ALWAYS win fights, no mercy. its like i turn off my empathy during fights but AT LEAST i feel AFTERWARDS!!! he doesnt. he realize he did wrong bc of his ”morality”. bitch i could CRY, because he literally scolded me over phone when i was on the bus and there was NOTHING i could do to stop him. i tried to talk to him but he only continues cus i fkn refuse to oBEY HIS ORDERS??? but i cant hang up either cus then he’d never talk to me again and i’d feel like shit......

he’s pretty calm irl, ive never seen him angry irl and i hope i never will holy SHIT!!! he’s so good at hurting, like he turns everything youve ever said to him against you. he’s so fucking good at it cus he’s so god damn good at reading people. thats what makes him so charming. i DONT UNDERSTAND how can his precious girlfriends not have CARED??? apparently i’m the first to criticize him and one of the few to trigger him and im like..... bruh how?? i literally dont say anything and you fucking explode?? are your family and friends blind??? are you doing this to me because you THINK the manipulation will work??

also...... he sees it as something positive that sick bastard. hes like ”well i think this could be good” and im like ”uhhhh bitch it is I who get scolded???” and hems like ”but i feel and too :((” he’s such a fkn dumbass. this is his politics too. he believes in reverse racism and is probably sexist too smhhh. i was like ”are u dumb, u hit me in the face and tell me its bad for you too bc u feel vad abt hitting me??”

i am impressed by how he chose to ve ”kind” or whatever instead of psycho even though i still think he’s selfish and does it for his own gain aka he LOVES to learn things, experience things. he’s very ambitious, energetic and curious. but he doesnt understand. he’s like ”well im kind to you thats all that matters?”

the thing is, he’s not even kind??? he basically forced me to taste his disgusting vanilla coffee OTHERWISE he would take the blanket away??? he sees it as teasing and it kind of is yeah..... if i didnt know that his 1000% serious?? he honestly think its a ducking compromose?? im lile ”uhh a improvisera would be for me to taste a little coffee and then you to give me another blanket or AT LEAST stop nagging”

and when i finally tasted the ugly coffee he wanted to know if i thought it was good and i said ”yeah its ok” bc im not a liar, it was better than expected. and hes like ”thats all i wanted to hear” I KNOW BITCH, YOURE NOT THAT FUCKING SLICK ITS PRETTY FKN OBVIOUS

also he always adds rules??? everythings always on his conditions? also he kinda thinks i should be thankful for him not being an asshole??? or maybe its that i actually VRITICIZE his intentions. yeah i think that brothers him. i think he thinks it entertaining because he doesnt care when he get angry. i didnt use to either. i could just forget te fight and move on, it wasnt important to me. but fuck now when i KNOW what its like......

im like ”ur threatening me to drink coffee” and hes like ”arent u happy i put extra much vanilla for you?? i usually drink much stronger but i didnt for u? arent u happy i gave u the blanket? i actually was goong to put it on the couch and leave u cold but i didnt?” BUT HE ONLY PUT ECTRA VANILLA SO I WPULD TELL HIM IT TASTES GOOD SO HIS EGO CAN BE BOOSTED

calso he kinda forced me to drink alohol?? i was like ”im feeling like shit if i throw up its tour fault and you will have to clean up” and he’s like ”no you’ll have to clean up” BITCH I SONT EVEN WANT TO DRINK YOURE PUSHING ME

soooo many red flags fuck i really SHOULD leave now when i can and now when im not too emotionally invested. but oMG IM SO CURIOUS!!! we’re so similar yet so different!!! we can relate to each other in some ways the bad thing is that since he actually cant FEEL empathy, he doesnt BELEIVE me even when i tell him the truth. im not sad bc i want to manipulate him. im not even sad that his words are huetful even though they are, because i know he’s fucking weong. im sad because he treats me lile this. im sad because i like HIM!!! i genuinely LIKE HIM!! but he doesnt fucking understand?? he doesnt understand the difference between LIKING someone and LIKING to HANG OUT with someone. i like him because i like HIM I FEEL HIM, he only likes to hang out with me.

he talks about this as ”his way” and ”bot traditional” way of feeling. his version and definition of ”love” and ”affvtion” is so fucking weird??? we were cuddling and he said ”wow u make me feel more” LMAO BULLSHIT. I CALL FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU ONLY SAY THAT CUS U THINK THATS WHAT I WANT TO HEAR

im partly okay with him being low empathy, he cant help it and i actually genuinely believe he believes he’s doing the RIGHT thing. like he believes it so much and... i guess he is?? like what choice does he have? he cant fucking feel, the least he can do is be kind anyways. he cant help that its not genuine and i guess i’ll have to accept that, but i al NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THOSE CHEAP TRICKS. i didnt say anything but i bet he would even understand if i pointed it out. he’d be like ”but its true!! i feel more with you” no bitch, you only say/think that because you WANT to be with me and now when you know thats what i want to hear thats what you say. smhhh

also i remember in the beginning when i kinda confessed and he was like ”it takes time for me to like someone” and in like???? uhhh okay? and i was anxious abt it cus i really didnt understand what the fuck we were and he just kept ”it takes time for me to like someone” to i was like ”okay but its not like im super super deeply in love with you or anything?? like.... i can like people??” BUT NOW I FUCKING UNDERSTAND HE LITERALLY MEANS BASIC ASS EMPATHY. IT TAKES TIME FOR HIM TO FEEL BASIC ASS EMPATHY FOR OTHER PEOPLE

i just dint understand how the fuck he’s able to still have a family and friends and stuff. how..... how can no one care??? i said ”theyre being manipulated” and hes like ”no i just dont think they care. they just like that im kind and dont think much abt it” but both youre not kind??? but when i tell im its not genuine he goes with the ”well we’re all egoists anyqays, we’re all doing things for ourselves, ur egoist too” yeah but i can still FEEL

i dont wanna be a dick. maybe its just me?? maybe its just because i feel so much and thats why i really NEED that genuine feeling?? no, i know why...... fuCK ME!!! i CARE because i like him 😔😔 bc i think hes so smart and interesring and i see him as someone potential and thats why i keep test him like this 😔 and its for no use because i cant change who he is 😔😔 would i care about these things with some other guy??? no. because i sont care abt them, but i care abt him and thats why 😔😔

hes not even guilt tripping me for it (wow ”yay” ) he just doesnt understand. he doesnt understand the difference or why i find it important. he just sees it as ”him being different” and ”him feeling in another way”. thats not it. this is not normal. this is because of childhood trauma and im so fucking sad for you, no offense, youre doing tour best but thats so sad

well anyways, even if i were to accept his WEIRD ASS DEFINITION OF LOVE he STILL needs to fucking stop with his abuse??????!!!! out of the 3 fights he has told me 2 times he’s going to ”try” but bitch WE KNOW HE WONT. HE CANT! HE CANT BECAUSE HE CANT FEEL WHEN ITS ENOUGH. IF HE FELT EMPATHY HE WOULD KNOW WHEN TO STOP. BUT HE CANT. im just waiting for him to explode someday. i literally asked him ”what should i do next time” and he’s like ”idk, i cant tell you what to do”. omg its true. theres nothing i can do, he’d still be so pissed at me no matter what. and me just asking him is such a BIG RED FLAG like we ALL KNOW.... or not him. he’s like ”maybe we wont fight” LMAO HAHAH YEA BITCH NICE TRY BUT WE WILL BC U START IT

hes so fucking sensitive. we had a misunderstanding, he started to scold me, i got mad and he kept gaslighting ”no i didnt scold you” and when i called him out on gaslighhting..... oh boy...... he got SO FUCKING MA, accuses ME of gaslighting him?? accuses me of ”starting” it with my ”passie aggressiveness” ok maybe i was passive aggressive but i WOULDNT IF HE DIDNT SCOLD ME ABOUT IT. i cant ever criticize him because he goes bananas. ok maybe im not the best to criticize others, im very....... bold. BUT I KNOW IM RIGHT??

last time he got angry because i said ”ppl listen to you bc ur a white man” and he started to bring up his childhood, told me im insensitive, theeatened me to hang up, never talk to me again if i didnt ”respect” him aka ”obey” him, he guilt truppen me, told me no one would want to me with me blah blah blah

a part of me is happy u dont really fall for that bullshit. like yes if course im HURT!!! but as i said, im not really hurt because he really is trying to hurt me. he really WANTS to hurt me. he even takes pride in it?? ”im very good at making people feel very good, and im very good at making people feel very bad” it makes me so FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I LIKE HIM I WANT HIM TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND SO HE CAN GROW, THAT IS EMPATHY PEOPLE, THAT IS GENUINE LOVE

we’re so different. we use completely different tactics. when i used to manipulate my ex.... i NEVER did personal attacks like he does. i never used smth personal AGAINST them.... i was more about.... guilt tripping? more about ”u dont love me, pity me”. im not saying thats good, i was horrible but what he does is just MEAN. i dont understand how anyone can keep up with that kind of behavior. i even told him when we fought and he responded ”well i need to keep up with u”. he always does that and that actually hurts because i like him. and he knows that. he always says ”ive been sitting here, listening to you, been kind to you and....” etc. etc

WHYYYYYY am i the only one criticizing him?? WHY is he like this to me? is it because i see through his ugly acting?? is it even possible for us to ever be healthy together? we can learn from each other, no doubt. but is it healthy???

when i tell him i feel bad bc of horrible manipulative and emotional abusive things ive done he understand but hes like...... ”thats ok dont be so hard on yourself, just learn, everyone makes mistakes” but like no?? THIS IS NOT OKAY!!! he also keeps saying i’ll become like him and like ”stop caring” bc ”we cared too much before” but NO I DONT WANT TO BECOME LIKE YOU!! I ADMIRE YOUR THINKING SKILLS AND ID LIKE TO LEARN SOME OF THAT BC WERE POLAR OPPOSITES YOU THINK, I FEEL. YOU CANT FEEL, I CANT THINK AND HANDLE MY FEELINGS

i dont WANT to. thats the difference. im not satisfiera!!! i told him i dont want to apologize to my ex best friend (who i treated like shit) until it feels GENUINE and hes like ”pfft... its better than nothing. she wont know if its genuine anyways” and im like bitch.... i WANT to be genuine because i think she would appreciate it more and I would feel better about it and hes like ”oh so its cus u wanna feel good about it” OH MY GOD HES SO ANNOYING

i really should pack mt bags and run. why did i have to fall for him UGHHHHH. why do i let him treat me like this when i’d never let ANYONE else do it. its so weird, im very picku with guys. i dont fall for ANYONE. i ALWAYS pick nice and kind guys so why him? i thought he was nice, yeah fair enough, but i still like him even though he isnt? i dont think its me being awfullt desperate, i really wouldnt let anyone be like this. like BOY HE BEKIEVES IN FUXKING REVERSE RACISM DO YALL THINK I WOULD HANG IUT WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT??? or maybe i am desperate. yes i am. im desperate for the connection i feel. thats kinda sad. i feel a strong bond to/with him, i feel like we’ve been through some things and i still look up to him and how he has recovered. he gives me hope that i can also be happy one day. I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE HIM but i still want to learn from him. and i sont think i will ve like him because im not a sociopath. i just want to take the good stuff and then become better

omg i really am similar to him. im really here feeling superior. i do feel superior because i can feel. i feel superior and a part of me wants to use him. hes a real challenge. i dont think i can maniplate him, it would be amazing to have him feel something for me...... IH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A FUCKING MESS. NO THIS IS NOT IT. I DO LIKE HIM IM NOT LIKE HIM. IM NOT THAT FUCKED UP

i get really annoyed when he claims im similar that i also want to control and manipulate and im like NO BITCH WERE SIMILAR BUT NOT HERE, like not when im trying to be calm and grown up and have us silver things, not when im crying because he huet my feelings but................ maybe hes right. or maybe hes just manipulating me??? maybe its both. ofc its both. i WAS HURT, i actually HAD anxiety!!!! if that bastard could feel, he would have known it was GENUIKE. AND HE WOULD HAVE KNOWN IM TRYING TO BE CALM AND AN ASULR BECAUSE HE SURE AS HELL FUXKING ISNT AND I ACTUALLY LIKE YOU BITCH I WANT TO SOLVE THIS FOR MY OWN SAKW TOO SO I CAN BE WITH YOU WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A CHEAP WHORE WITH NO SELF RESPECT.... BUT YES OF COURSE I WANTED HIM TO FEEL FOR ME TOO. IT DISTURBS ME SO MUCH THAR I DONT HAVE AN EFFECT ON HIM HEA LIKE A STONE AND OFC IF ANYONE SAW US FIGGT I’D LOOK LIKE THE CALM ONE. hes wrong though bc i used to think like that too with my ex bff. i used to think damn shes only like that so she can feel superior to be and humiliate me but no. she was right. she was more mature than me and she did what she had to do AND THATS WHAT IM DOIKG TO SO FUCK YOU

only way for me to manipulate him would be sexually. he’s that pathetic. a fucking horny dick, thats what he is. but it wouldnt even be manipulation because honestly if hes that fucking horny then its his choice. its not like i’d ever r*pe him, i dont even wanna have sex with him that guy has some HIGH STANDARDS i feel like a virgin next to him but since im not he would also expect more smh. i dont even dare to kiss him back. im only used to virgins so they dont have any experience lmao but... fuck i cant this time

he’s so cockt though for real. he brags about this and that all the time which is kind of his charm..... if it wasnt for the fact that hes always so competitive and serious LMAO. like it would really hurt his ego if i questioned him. imagine me telling him his sex, kisses, brain/psychology or smth was bad. i swear to god he would want to scold me and call me some real nasty things but he probably wouldnt

[s3venpounds]

1-59

yo

1. selfie (no can do, i honestly am too lazy and i have no clue how to add photos into these lel)

2. what would you name your future kids? Skylark, Silver, Thorn, Pas

3. do you miss anyone? yes

4. what are you looking forward to? waking up to a S.O that loves me, a house that we both love, a job I love, income I can live off comfortably, and the only source of stress I have is if something isnt routine

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? @artbeetle hands down

6. is it hard for you to get over someone? yeah

7. what was your life like last year? happier

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? nope

9. who did you last see in person? Aleksi

10. are you good at hiding your feelings? nope. I’m an open book.

11. are you listening to music right now? yeah, the beauty and the beast soundtrack Evermore lol

12. what is something you want right now? a million dollars would be nice

13. how do you feel right now? groggy and i have a stomach ache from last night so not feeling 100% right now

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? a long time now that i think about it. i guess thats my fault since i’ve been avoiding hugs because i’m still worried people think of me as the “wheres my hug?” guy from middle school lol

15. personality description: a steaming pile of bile tbh. loud when I’m trying too hard to be friends with you, cuss like a trucker, quiet when youre in the innermost circle of friends. i make a lot of jokes that cross lines and unless someones seriously offended and says something I don’t stop.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? yes

17. opinion on insecurities. go ahead and have them, just don’t let them become permanent. you only have so much time in this world and youre going spend it worrying about other people who will forget everything in like 10 years max? like no one really cares if you tripped on nothing that one time. sure they’ll laugh but realistically theyll laugh for about 15 minutes then forget it completely by the next 3 days.

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago? yeah

19. have you ever been to New York? nope. dont plan to.

20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Lie To Me George Nozuka

21. age and birthday? 21, may 17

22. description of crush. she’s reliable, comforting, pleasant to be with, gives off an air of happiness and contentment, easy on the eyes and knows how to keep the flow of conversations or mood going. She can be spontaneous or mysterious when she wants to. She warms my heart with her smile and I will never forget the little thing her cheeks do when she does smile.  

23. fear(s) death. thats it. 

24. height 5 foot 6 i think. i may have grown to 5 foot 7 haven’t measured in a while. wish i grew more tho

25. role model my friend William lol he is goals.

26. idol(s) I don’t really keep track of any celebrities so none really.

27. things i hate. 3 people i hate specifically, uhhhh break ups, my dad, some “friends”, when apologies arent enough( otherwise whats the point of having the word exist), when I take a joke too far and it hurts a relationship I like, when i stub my toes or bang my fingers on something, when friends snapchat me of a hangout I wasn’t invited or even told about when the whole group is there, when people are at a dance and everyone forms that dance circle for random people to go in and dance their heart out then someone busts out breakdancing in a crowd thats literally the worst group of dancers( like seriously i dare you to watch that shit. unless someone has some serious balls no one will go in the circle after that for a whole 5-10 minutes because no one can follow that up. like thats fine if youre in a group of other really good dancers or break dancers but like come on man. thats like having a seasoned and grown ass michael jordan in your middle school basketball game. )

28. i’ll love you if… you make me a handmade gift, you tell me you were thinking of me, you give me a lot of attention lol, you share your food with me, you try some of my favourite games or watch my favourite animes with me, we end up saying the same shit at the same time, do crazy shit with me, ride rollercoasters with me, if youre cold or something and you need to borrow my jacket or sweater i will gladly lend it to you unless its like - 30 then we share lol, if you rant to me or vent to me. if you keep the conversation going unless you know im in a bad mood or something serious happened

29. favourite film(s) Treasure planet. thats it. 

30. favourite tv show(s) Spider riders? di gata defenders, samurai jack, martin mystery, totally spies, jacob two two, team galaxy, ben 10 ( only up to ultimate alien and alien force, the rest sucked), code lyoko, master chef, chopped, medabots, gundam seed, the weekenders, code name kids next door, uhh theres probably like 30 other ones but nothing else i can remember off the top of my head.

31. 3 random facts I have a bottle of taro flavoured gin sitting beside my desk, I have reading glasses, I like the feeling of cleaning my ears with cotton swabs

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? guys. although in highschool it was girls

33. something you want to learn? the italian, korean, and japanese language. maybe russian. I want to learn how to juggle and do card tricks, I want to learn everything about my friends, I want to learn how to profile someone and deduce things sherlock style. I also want to learn more about volleyball tbh

34. most embarrassing moment. I pooped my pants while at a friends 6th birthday and my brother had to help me

35. favourite subject. English. I like poetry the most

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? To be in a rowboat in Venice Italy with my significant other under the moonlight and right as we’re about to kiss, fireworks go off in the distance. to be a world renowned psychologist/psychiatrist but working in my old high school trying to help people who are bound to do the same dumb ass shit I did. to wini the lottery or just raise enough money off a really good paying job i like to send my parents back home to philippines like they dreamed. 

37. favourite actor/actress. Mary Elizabeth Winstead or Ellen Page

38. favourite comedian(s) Gabriel iglesias, christopher titus, bo burnham

39. favourite sport(s) volleyball, i dont play many others

40. favourite memory: that one day at cap ex. “ what about this ship?” “ well, we’ll see where it takes us”

41. relationship status pringle.

42. favourite book(s) perks of being a wallflower, eleanor and park, Somebody up there hates you, nick and norah’s infinite playlist, an abundance of katherines

43. favourite song ever Pocket full of dreams by hedley

44. age you get mistaken for: no one guesses my age

45. how you found out about your idol: i met him lol hes my friend’s boyfriend

46. what my last text message says “ like I don’t want to get out of bed”

47. turn ons:  Short hair, freckles, dimples, tits that fit perfectly in my hand or bigger is cool too, into kinky shit, still makes jokes even in sex( not all the time though), likes passionate aggressive sex, tom boyish, asian, very physically touchy/clingy, smells nice, soft skin, tongue when kissing, knows how to dirty talk or sound seductive.

48. turn offs: smells bad(breath or body odor), those dirty white people dreadlocks, being like professional body builder ripped levels, and sure fuck it I’ll say it; being extremely overweight. 

49. where i want to be right now, Venice Italy

50. favourite picture of your idol again, can’t do photos. too dumb

51. starsign Taurus

52. something i’m talented at , guessing a pokemon after hearing its cry only applicable to the first 2-3 generations

53. 5 things that make me happy. friends, food, sleep, money, video games

54. something thats worrying me at the moment. my future and how dark it is

55. tumblr friends I dont have many and the ones i do have i don’t know if i should tag on here

56. favourite food(s) bbq ribs, pulled pork, pizza, bimbimbap, filipino bbq skewers, tosino, lechon kawale, lechon adobo, insemada(not sure how to spell that), pasta, and curry

57. favourite animal(s) cats

58. description of my best friend, hes asian

59. why i joined tumblr, my friend kept using inside jokes and memes from tumblr so i got curious