#its like that special where they introduce tarble

[chickenoptyrx]

Ngl im perfectly willing to just enjoy Daima.

•Expectations: on the ground

•willingness to just roll with it: high

If i dont like it, oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i still got dragonball and dbz

[slothcritic]

Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 1

Rocky start. Piccolo is the only saving grace of this episode.

Right, let’s get right into this one.

“The Return of Raditz! … Wait…” starts off with a standard “nature is beautiful” sequence that begs to be usurped in any non-documentary video. Record scratch, something crashes into the ground and scares the pink turkey chickens milling about. The farmer cries for his marijuana patch (which admittedly I find hilarious) but then corrects himself to say its actually totally just a carrot patch guys. But no one is around, so this feels more like a jab at the viewer, for the creators to say “Ah? Ah? You see that? We’re funny.”

After a pointless joke about arriving at Earth “with open bar” and a clumsy comparison to Sonic the Hedgehog, Raditz makes his appearance, and within his first line of dialogue mentions two characters that haven’t appeared yet. This creates a problem.

On the one hand, foreshadowing and inside jokes are awesome: Much later in the series, Goku references Goten and Vegeta references Tarble. These examples work... if you’ve seen the source content. Granted, it’s an “abridged” series, you might be thinking “well, who HASN’T seen the original DBZ?” and I can tell you that I specifically watched DBZ just so I would understand all the jokes from DBZA. I watched four episodes in, got annoyed with all the very obvious jokes and references I was missing out on, and binged the entire DBZ series over the summer. It’s also simply a matter of how well you can tell a story, and leaving out key plot points because you feel like your viewership is already “in the know” isolates outsiders.

I understand most of the references within DBZA (not all of them, the later episodes get incredibly subtle), but a fresh observer might not. So for someone who’s never seen DBZ, this is confusing and unnecessary. So it doesn’t work for them.

This specific example isn’t remarkable either for show-watchers. Raditz mentions Kakarot and Turles, and while the former works, the latter doesn’t. Turles is too inconsequential to the story and is completely removed from Raditz as a character. In my opinion, the two are only mentioned for their similar appearance and nothing beyond that. So it doesn’t work for them.

It just does not work.

After a relatively (and I strongly use the word “relatively” here) solid bit, Raditz mentions another yet-established and barely-related character.

After the title sequence, we’re introduced to a much more interesting character within his first few lines of dialogue, and that carries through to the MySpace joke. While this scene does not hold up to time (and dates the show immensely), I can vouch that this scene was good for its time, and puts us at the (contextually, not objectively) best joke of the episode thus far.

Presently though it’s only purpose is to show that Piccolo has only one friend because he’s lonely. For the very few who are not aware, Tom is the default friend you get just from opening an account.

After yelling (through a cheap microphone I might add) some in-your-face exposition, Raditz lands in front of Piccolo, who he had mistaken for Kakarot. Piccolo responds. “I’ve got green skin, pointy ears, and a turban. Oh yeah, I must look like so many other people.”

This line supersedes the episode.

The next scene is infamously iconic within the TFS fanbase and represents something bigger than its face value. The voice actors, shattering the fourth wall, get into a fight over the name of Raditz’s special attack, which results in Raditz being voiced by someone completely different for the rest of the show.

The most important thing about this scene is that is shows creativity, and represents the first breadcrumb in the trail for what TFS had in mind for the series back then. But if we regard “The Return of Raditz! … Wait…” as a standalone, and mark it objectively based on its self-contained qualities, it becomes apparent how much of a flop this is. It’s a pointless, do-nothing skit that has an arbitrary payoff. It also comes off as a little presumptuous, especially as the first episode of an abridged series, which back then were popping up like crazy. Remember when let’s plays and minecraft videos were booming? It was basically that. The voice actors are placing themselves on a pedestal mid-way through their first ever episode.

Moving on, girls just want to have fun and the blue-haired girl makes her first appearance. She’s meeting friends apparently, and upon introduction, she’s met with “Boobs! I mean Bulma.”

There’s a lot I could say about this. It could be a dig at how she’s the only female character in the main cast (arguably excluding Chi-Chi), or it could be a suggestion that Krillin has a crush on her, or that Krillin is just a pervert and that was the first thing he associates with Bulma. I’ll just say it’s a poor line and move on.

The next notable scene has a man in orange arriving at the island with a small child in his arms. Bulma calls him Goku and Krillin calls him Tail, a tongue-in-cheek riff on his "Boobs!" line and saves TFS a little face, though not enough to make worth the former.

Conversely, there's references to Dragon Ball here regarding their exposition, which is different from making references to yet-established parts of Dragon Ball Z. However, chances are if people watching this haven't seen DBZ, they're not going to have seen the original DB. Assuming the shows didn't exist and this was its own product, no one knows whats happening here. People might regard this as a place where show-savvy viewers get to laugh at inside jokes that need no explanation, but to those who haven't, it's... Well, no need to be repetitive.

Goku admits to having a son, and the characters begin to hint at "So, that means you had sex right?" Goku is completely oblivious: The first indication the viewer has that Goku might not be the sharpest knife in the crayon box. The effect of Roshi "whooshing" next to Goku catches my eye as good sound design, which while sparse in the early episodes becomes commonplace later in the series.

We learn that Goku's son is being groomed to be a scholar, rather than a fighter like his father, and that he has a powerful MacGuffin strapped to his head, making him a huge target for greedy villains.

When Goku feels a powerful energy level, he compares it to the biggest thing he can think of: Krillin's losing streak... in the first episode... with a character that's had less than ten seconds of screen time. We don't really know how big of a losing streak this is, so the remark itself loses a lot of potential power. It's only real merit is exposition; At least we get an idea here that Krillin the series butt monkey.

Raditz swoops in and drops some knowledge, about who Kakarot is, why Goku/Kakarot is on Earth, why HE is on Earth, and their fraternal relationship. It's dense, fast, and to anyone who didn't watch DBZ first, I pity you. None of it will make any sense. It's just something you've gotta "go with". He then uses his tail to smack Krillin into Kame House, thus christening the first notch on Krillin Owned Count. This works better as a running gag than it does in the first episode.

Goku shows more concern for the house than Krillin, and then explains the MacGuffin Dragon Balls in more detail: They can grant any wish you want, including immortality.

Cut to a random pig (Oolong) chiming in that you can also wish for Bulma's panties. Uh... What?

This is not necessarily wrong unlike the "Boobs!" line, considering Oolong does exactly this in DBZ, but this is the first time Oolong makes an appearance in "The Return of Raditz! … Wait…" It's a very abrupt appearance with no explanation. No one addresses him before or after this. His name isn’t even mentioned in the episode. And why is he inside when everyone else is outside?

Cut to Vegeta and Nappa who have apparently heard Goku through Raditz's scouter. Wait, that hasn't been explained yet either! We get the barest glimpse at Nappa's character while Vegeta is, well, there. Raditz explains they're going to kill everyone on the planet and sell it, Goku objects, and Raditz smacks him into the ground. He kidnaps Goku's son and then flies off, for perhaps no other reason than "Fuck you I'm evil" It all happens pretty quick.

Krillin, despite being "bitch slapped through a house", is unable to stop him and thus takes the blame, for no other reason than being the butt monkey.

Piccolo shows up and openly mocks Goku for having his shit shoved in and losing his son, further cementing him the most interesting character in this episode. Goku then convinces Piccolo to join forces with him to confront Raditz, and in exchange, he'll friend Piccolo on Myspace.

"Tom you've been replaced." is a relatively fullfilling wraparound and a good ending for a... well, bad episode.

Conclusion

It's bad. There's no way around it. Let me break down why if it hasn't already been made clear.

The characters: Raditz the Walking Exposition, Krillin the Butt Monkey, Goku the Idiot and Piccolo, that's it. Everyone else is a non-character at this point. Piccolo, though handled in a slightly clumsy fashion, is shown to be the most diverse character here. The snark, the "fuck it" attitude, and the going joke that he's lonely. Goku's character isn't well defined beyond what he is. He's a father, a fighter, a Saiyan, Raditz's brother, but those are all things that have nothing to do with his personality. All we really get aside from "he's dumb" is that he's just a vessel for the plot to move forward. Raditz is literally pure exposition. He has no character traits aside from being a dick. Krillin is given the Milhouse treatment.

The writing: What is going on here?

The production quality: Old grainy footage, fine I can deal with that. It's how the original DBZ looks. Most people would shit on this, and KaiserNeko (the lead editor) does switch over to higher quality source footage for Season 2, but I personally won't knock it. What I will knock is the microphone quality. This is most noticable when Raditz and Piccolo meet. Contextually, I get it. It's the first episode, everyone in the main cast is like 19-20 years old at this point, maybe still live with their parents, maybe just have a default headset mic, everyone knows what that's like. Objectively, it's still terrible.

Score: 35

Passing Thoughts

MasakoX does the voice for Master Roshi very early on, before Lanipator took over the role. I’ve always imagined early Roshi as more like a teddy bear, whereas Roshi 2.0 was definitely “lecherous old man” to a P.

"Holy black on a Popo!" - Hasn't been established yet, but I like it.