#its like that post where after you stop locking in ur hit with every status effect under the sun . like why are all myneeds lowwww
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b-dubs-valdubs · 1 month ago
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hey chat its decomposition hours againnnnnn
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keatsblue · 4 years ago
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Want a Piece of Me?! - a Kiribaku Baking AU fic, pre-slash.
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*** 
It was something he’d picked up from his mother, before she’d gotten too sick.
She’d let him roll out flour-dusted dough into thinned sheets, let him taste a batter mix or two on the tip of her spoon. Whenever he was tasked with packing the buttercream, he’d unerringly return to her with a dollop of icing on the end of his nose. She’d let out a laugh like windchimes as she wiped his face off with a multi-stained washcloth, would murmur, warm against the skin of his cheek as she kissed it—did my little dragon get greedy for some sugar again? Well, here’s some sugar!
Kirishima was her little dragon, and she’d made sure his early life was filled with candied nights and warm bellies, gingerbread castles with marshmallow spires.
After she passed, he kept it up to feel close to her.
He was far from an expert baker, but he knew his way around an oven. His hands were large and not the most suited to handling delicate fondant, but he managed. His arms were strong, good for hefting bags of fresh ingredients.
Pineapple upside-down. Triple-tiered, Italian wedding crème. Chocolate lavender truffles, topping his signature cherry cordial mousse. Delicate macaroons and finicky meringues, mirror glazes so seamless he could see his reflection. Kirishima baked his way through the entire grieving process, inviting his closest friends over for tastings, and he won.
I’m okay, mom.
He wasn’t certain when it had really started, this online business. Mina had actually made the first post, snapped the first photo. He hadn’t expected it to get a single comment.
It got hundreds. Then thousands.
People contacted him, wanting to know how they could make their own cakes look like that.
Kirishima obliged, of course. How could he not? He was going to bake anyway. Might as well help a few other amateur chefs while he was at it!
Mina helped him film. “I discovered you, so I’m your manager for life,” she’d say, with a wink. “Don’t forget about me when you make it big and become a world-famous baker, somewhere.”
World-famous, my ass, he always thought, whenever she’d suggest such a thing. He still made far too many mistakes, for that.
It was okay, most of the time. Many of the people who followed his little baking ‘show’ were more than understanding, and incredibly supportive. When he read their kind comments, it gave him a warm, fluttery kind of feeling—almost like one of his mother’s secure hugs.
There were always those few, though.
He was just getting off the rickety bus that stopped near his neighborhood when he saw it. He almost missed the last step on his way down, stumbling for a few paces as the telltale sound of a screen door sliding shut behind him signaled the bus’s departure.
However, Kirishima wasn’t paying attention to any of that. Instead, his eyes were glued to the screen of his phone, where he’d just called up his latest baking stream.
xxxx: ur cakes suck a**
He frowned down at the comment, checking the timestamp. So, it was just posted a few minutes ago.
Huh.
It was obviously a troll, no doubt about it. They didn’t even have a profile picture to go with the nondescript name. And usually, usually, Kirishima would just let comments like that slide right off his shoulders.
But he’d had a bad day. And it was funny, how something so small could pierce his heart sometimes, a sharp spear to the mighty dragon’s soft underbelly.
It was safe to say, making his way up the rusted-out stairwell to his college-budget apartment took a little more energy than usual. He jammed his key into the lock with punishing force, twisted.
The door swung upon under his palms, and the familiar scent of his home wafted toward him, riding along the sudden gust of warm air escaping. Kirishima was careful to shut the door quickly, before too much of the heat was let out. Breathed in the fruit-sweet smell from his kitchen, so if nothing else, the familiarity of it could ease his scattered mind.
His phone chimed, before he could get too relaxed. When he checked the message ID, though, he couldn’t help but smile.
alienqueen: ughhhhh I hate this asshole already
alienqueen: obviously, he’s never tasted 1 of kiri’s cakes
ducktapes: kiri’s cakes <3 ahhhh my heart
sparksmcgee: dude same, want me 2 get sweet vengeance?
As soon as Kirishima’s smile had appeared, it vanished. He frantically opened the chat, his thumbs too large to type with the speed he needed.
There was no way to tell if Denki was serious. And his friend could do it, too—every day, Kirishima thanked his lucky stars he was on the excitable hacker’s good side.
kiricakes: no need!! it’s just a troll, guys
kiricakes: super manly of you to think of me, though
sparksmcgee: ur too nice, fams
sparkmcgee: guess the troll lives… for now
ducktapes: TROLL IN THE DUNGEON! THERE���S A-
alienqueen: aksnfkasnof
kiricakes: lolllllll
Before long, he was able to lose himself in mindless chatter. The antics of his friends never failed to bring his spirits up. He plugged his phone into one of the few outlets in his crummy apartment, embedded into the wall just over the kitchen counter, so he could continue the conversation even as his battery started to wane.
The hours grew long, though, and time was scarce mid-week for exhausted, assignment-laden college kids. It wasn’t a surprise when Denki soon begged off on some coding or another that he had to re-run, or when Sero and Mina similarly slipped away (they were researching something together for Comparative Physiology, it was all very much over Kirishima’s head). In the end, he was left with only his thoughts, and an empty kitchen.
He locked his phone, and the screen went dark. He could see his reflection in it, baggy eyes and downturned lips. A shock of red hair, which had once been midnight-black.
Like his mother’s.
Kirishima turned his head. In the low light, his appliances gleamed from their shelves. Almost mocking, in a way.
“My cakes don’t suck,” he said, to no one. His grin stretched wide, and he could tell from the burn of it that he was showing far too many of his sharpened teeth. “I’ll prove it to you.”
He set his phone to record, and made another cake. It was triple-tiered, funfetti, because that was the batter mix he had on-hand. He watched the batter rise within his dented iron pans with all the patience of a general considering the battlements—or perhaps, a dragon considering its’ hoard.
Any spare buttercream was packed into a dispensary, silken and primed to hold his creation together. He spliced it evenly between his cakes with a practiced ease, layer after layer.
Then, the whipped frosting. It was a simple recipe, one of the first he’d learned. He worked the whipping cream within a chilled bowl, adding scoop upon scoop of powdered sugar until the mixture obediently began to rise, forming soft peaks.
He made several batches, and then added some orange food coloring to each.
Fuck it. I’m in an orange sort of mood.
His second favorite color, after red.
All that remained was assembly.
… throughout the process, he talked.
Kirishima didn’t typically make a habit of speaking while he baked. He certainly didn’t speak while he recorded, but this—this was a special occasion. Soon, he found himself opening up in front of the camera like never before. He spoke of his mother, briefly. Of his love of baking, and how much he didn’t want to lose that little piece of her he had left.
It was all he had left.
The whipped frosting went on like a dream for him, a smooth and even ombre that when he finished, reminded Kirishima just a bit of an orange sunset. It was soothing, and right, and exactly what he needed.
He didn’t think much of posting the video, largely unedited, to his public account. His was still a small corner of the internet, after all—a solitary baking channel in a sea of thousands. Maybe even millions. How many people would even see it, really?
“Oh, and by the way, can you guys stop saying my cakes look like shit?”
It was only one cake.
With great effort, Kirishima stumbled his way to his bedroom. He hadn’t realized how tired he was, how much all that time in the kitchen had taken out of him.
Before his head even hit the pillow, he was out.
He dreamed of his mother’s sweets, and orange.
***
sparksmcgee: dude wake up
sparksmcgee: wake uppppp
sparksmcgee: KIRI
sparksmcgee: KIRI U GOTTA SEE THIS
sparksmcgee: KIRIIIII
sparksmcgee: fine, ignore me, Mr. Internet Sensation
sparksmcgee: wait I was joking, I was joking!
sparksmcgee: I’ll call u! I’ll do it!!
sparksmcgee: damn it kiri
sparksmcgee: just watch the fuckin’ video
sparksmcgee: https://twitter.com/Simplemachines_/status/1297739774795509761
***
Kirishima groaned, slamming a fist down on top of the source of that incessant beeping. It was too early in the morning for such ear-splitting noise.
But what was done couldn’t be undone. He was awake now, for better or worse.
He cracked one eye open, squinting against the bright blue light of his phone screen. Still bleary-eyed, he scrolled through all of Denki’s messages (seriously, man?) and pressed a thumb over the hyperlink his friend sent. It was probably just some dumb meme—
Wait. Wait.
That was his cake video from last night. And… that wasn’t all.
Some blond guy with an angry face took up the other half of the split screen, but he wasn’t doing anything. He seemed to be waiting for something.
Kirishima blinked. A… reaction video…?
He heard himself begin to speak, to layer the buttercream. Internally, he cringed.
Well. In his defense, he had been having one of those days—
He almost dropped his phone when the blond guy yelled at the top of his lungs.
“WHO WAS MEAN TO YOU?!”
Huh? Was this guy speaking… in Kirishima’s defense?
“WHO SAID YOUR CAKES LOOK LIKE SHIT?! POINT ‘EM OUT!”
Slathering on his nice, ombre whipped frosting, now. The blond guy (who was kinda cute, actually, even with his angry face) continued to watch and listen with rapt attention, occasionally letting out another unholy screech.
The video progressed to the part where Kirishima had begun describing his day, and really, he could’ve kicked himself. It’d just been a math test. He’d been excited at the time, because he’d gotten his grade back and hadn’t completely failed it, but now, he wondered. Who would want to listen to such inane, boring—
“YES! I’M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU, SHITTY HAIR!”
Shitty hair? Inadvertently, he felt the hand that wasn’t currently occupied supporting his phone drift up toward his hairline. He knew he applied a lot of gel, spiked it up on purpose. Surely it didn’t look that bad.
But even with that last comment, the guy had said a lot of nice things. And how manly, to post such a wholesome reaction video, where all the world could see?
His phone beeped again as a message banner flashed across the top of the screen. He opened it with a flick of his finger.
It seemed this time, Denki had messaged in the group chat. He didn’t have long to wonder whether his other friends had seen the video, either, messages were fired at rapid speed.
sparksmcgee: did you see it?!?? I found the guy! Your dream man!
sparksmcgee: his name is **drumroll**
kiricakes: denki, no
ducktapes: denki, YES
sparksmcgee: BAKUGOU KATSUKI, HE’S FROM JAPAN
alienqueen: Kiri go get your mans!!
sparksmcgee: if you want I can also get his credit card
kiricakes: DENKI NO
Bakugou Katsuki. Huh.
As his friends continued to bicker amongst themselves, Kirishima stretched out his limbs. He let out a soft sigh when his shoulders popped, already considering what he would bake himself for breakfast.
Maybe he’d have a slice of orange funfetti. And perhaps as he did, his mind would drift to an angry fan.
One he hoped to meet, someday.
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sissearchkittpu-blog · 6 years ago
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Cod mw2 connecting to matchmaking server problem
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