#its like people want to just say 'ew why do you care about the binaries so much?' i dont. i need to be able to talk about them

[kotoneshiomiofficial]

when transfems talk about how we live in a society, we mean that US culture only recognizes two sexes and two genders, and then equates them. male = man and female = woman, and its despises anyone who steps outside of those bounds (intersexism and transphobia). so when we talk about how you cant be perisex afab and then call yourself a transfem, what we mean is that society has (whether you like it or not) treated you as a girl/woman because thats what it said on your birth certificate. you cannot transition to be a gender you already a part of. and there are already plenty of nonbinary labels for people who have a feminine gender but dont feel 100% like a woman. and to imply that you can suggests trans women are not the same gender as women. so at best third-gendering us or at worst saying we're not real women. and when it comes to intersexism, listen to tma intersex people about it and not tme perisex people. and i mean actually listen, dont just use them as hypothetical talking points.

[elijahfanfics]

mha trio (bkg, todo & deku) x bullied exchange student oc/reader

After ten minutes of trying to name this bitch ive gone with June. Some may dislike this name and I get it its very 2020 but I think it suits them

June is autistic and will show traits that I show because that's what I know best about, these things will be from experiences that ive gone through in the past so I will also include a trigger warning list below

TW: bullying, autistic overload/overstimulation (NON SEXUAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH), physical violence (not a lot just shoves and some kicking), 3v1, destruction of property, use of the R word

June is a 16 year old autistic non binary person and loves their headphones, they always have their headphones on unless in a place where they needs to take them off e.g. in the classroom when the teacher is talking but they do have a pass to wear them when the teacher gives the go ahead. the students speak Japanese but the teachers know English, June knows Japanese and English but to know what language people are speaking in i'll put the Japanese speech in this font and also the three other girls only speak english. You can imagine June to look however you want and also this will be in 1st person :)

---------------

Im walking down a hallway, looking for the class labelled 1A, yet failing miserably.

"okay class 1C, that must mean class 1A is around here right?", I mumble to myself, looking around me at the doors in this stupidly confusing array of hallways. I turn a corner still looking down at the 'map' on my phone, that is even more confusing than these fucking hallways, and suddenly, im on the floor.

I look up and see Grace, Sophie and Jessica. Sophie being the self proclaimed 'leader' spoke up, "ew what the fuck I didn't know you would be here", she says disgustedly and looks at her friends, giggling to each other. I sigh and get up, walking away as they start barking at me (this actually happens too idk why people do this even in public and outside of schools like wtf. and also, furry friendly, its only the assholes who bark at emos n stuff) I am so looking forward to a new school with new people to yell and bark at me. yay.

The girls keep following me as I finally find my class AND THEYRE STILL BARKING AND GIGGLING, of course we're in the same class, why wouldn't we be.

I knock on the door and the girls finally stop barking and theyre just giggling and whispering. "you must be the four exchange students", a very tired looking man with black scruffy hair and a grey scarf says to us in a monotone voice, the girls immediately taking notice of the dishevelled man and quietly giggling to each other more. Aizawa saw this but didn't really care much and he turned into the classroom, waving us in. I start to enter the room but the girls push past me and leave me to close the door after them, I roll my eyes and stand in the corner as the teacher introduces us to the class.

"So as you may already know, four students from England(or America) have been transferred here for a month, the four of them will have separate rooms of the spare rooms. They will follow us around in classes and training but will not part take in any training as we are liable for any injuries they sustain and I would like to avoid a lawsuit, Grace, Sophie and Jessica cannot speak Japanese so teachers will be aiding them in classes, but June does speak Japanese fluently. June is autistic so please keep that in mind when you meet them, do not crowd them or yell around them. I was told to tell you that because again, any physical or emotional damage they sustain can end in a lawsuit and if that happens, you will be expelled. Are there any questions.", the teacher said, not very enthusiastic about there possibly being questions.

One student with green hair raises his hand, "yes Midoriya", the teacher says with a sigh.

"Mr. Aizawa, will they be in the common room much? And also I heard there is a space in this class still, will one of them possibly be transferred here? And can I ask June about their quirk or can we not talk to them at all? Will June be helping us with out English since they knows both languages? An-", the boy rambles on until Mr. Aizawa cuts him off. "Okay Midoriya that's enough questions.", Aizawa sighs before mentally preparing to answer him, "they will be in the common room as much as they want. Yes there is a possibility that one of them may be transferred if chosen. You may talk to June but if they want to be left alone, leave them alone. June can help you with your English work inside or outside of classes if they wish. Now are there any more questions.", he says and towards the end he scowls, as if daring someone to raise their hand.

I watch this interaction carefully, and I also pay attention to the class watching me and the girls too. I come to the conclusion that most of this class probably aren't like the people back home. One girl had purple hair and wires on her ears, and some of the students had on eyeliner too. They actually didn't seem too intimidating, and I didn't mind their curious eyes as appose to judging looks like i'd get in class back home.

"what are they talking about Junie", Grace says to me in a sickly sweet voice, nudging me with her elbow. The other girls turn to me too and I take a small step back, into the corner. "Yeah what are they sayin Junie", Sophie spoke, her words laced with venom as she practically spat the nickname they call me.

"Just that were using spare rooms in their dorm and we'll be sticking with this class for the month", I mumble quietly, while this is all playing out, Mr.Aizawa announces to the class that he's going to take a nap and for the class to work on their English translation worksheets.

"OMG no way are we spending the next month with you in the same dorm!", Jessica says, and they all start to fucking giggle again. Seriously, what is it with the giggling.

Suddenly an outstretched hand comes flying down between us forcefully and I look over to see a blue haired boy with glasses.

"please be quiet otherwise you may wake Mr.Aizawa", the boy says, in a quiet but forceful tone.

"..huh?", Sophie says and the all just look at him.

"he said to be quiet or you might wake the teacher", I translate for them.

"Wake the teacher? The teacher's sleeping?", Jessica says to the boy but he gives no reply and just blinks at them, realising his mistake. He looks towards me and we make eye contact for a brief moment before the girls laughing 'quietly' catches my attention. They are all turned to face Aizawa in hi yellow sleeping bag and I can see the irritation lightly painting his face. Most people couldn't tell but, A; it hasn't been long enough for him to be asleep yet and B; who wouldn't be annoyed.

I sigh and turn to the chalk board, picking up the white chalk. On the board I write 'if anybody needs help with their English, just ask and I can come to help' in Japanese of course. I turn to walk through the classroom to the back of the class where there was an empty row of four seats. Half way down, the three girls push past me and I fall slightly onto the green haired boys desk, apparently called Midoriya, I put my hands down on the edge of the desk to stop myself from falling flat on my face.

I take a step back and bow to him as I apologise to him quickly before carrying on to my seat in the corner, behind a girl with long black hair. I sit down and take my laptop out, about to start playing some stardew valley before I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look over and see a boy with red and white hair standing over me.

"I need some help on my English work please", he says, and I stand up, "yeah of course that's no problem", I smile and I follow him over to his desk.

He sits down and I kneel next to him to look over his work. Behind me I hear the girls whispering to eachother, "damn June getting on their knees for these guys already. fucking whore" "I know right who the fuck could actually like a r***rded ass like them anyways.". I try to ignore the comments but they do get to me and the boy notices.

"what are they saying", he asks in a calm voice. I look up at him, "oh, nothing, theyre just talking to each other about schoolwork and stuff", I say, trying to avoid answering truthfully.

"not true", he says, "they're talking about you, aren't they. You don't like each other. why?".

I stay silent for a moment.

"you said you needed help with the work", I look up at him with a dismissive smile, trying to change the subject.

He obliges and points to one of the sections, "Im having some trouble with "s"s on the ends of sentences. It can be used for "cars" and "car's" so what is the difference?"

I think about my reply for a moment before speaking, "yeah, so an 's' can signify a multiple but can also signify a possession, you can tell the difference from the use of an apostrophe. If the car belongs to someone then "the car's his", the apostrophe is basically a placeholder for an "I", if you can split the word into two and put an "I" before the "s" then its a possession, but if its something like "the cars belong to him", then they are his cars and he has multiple. The best way to understand a word isn't to look at the word its self, especially if you are struggling to understand it, its to look for context around the word.", I look up to him to see if he understood that and I saw it click in his eyes, he looks at me and thanks me before going back to his work and I walk back to my desk.

After classes finished, I made my way down the hall with my headphones on. I reach the dining hall and grab some food before heading off to find the smallest corner I could cram myself into.

I walk around the school for a phew minutes until I decide to sit outside on a brick wall that was about four feet tall. I place my food onto it and jump up to sit on the end of it, behind the school where it was basically deserted, no students to be seen, just how I like it.

I nod along to my music and eat my food in peace, something that has come to be a rare occasion.

I look over to my left and see three figures walking toward me. Great.

I ignore them and carry on eating.

When they get to me they start yelling, my heartbeat rises and I become nervous but I try my best to ignore them and just listen to my music. That is until one of them grabs onto my headphones and throws them as hard as she can onto the wall opposite us.

I just stare at where they lay, broken, on the floor. My eyes fill with tears but I try to hide it, my headphones are the most important thing to me. I need them. I cant afford to buy more.

I bring my knees up to my chest and curl up into a ball, still trying to ignore them.

They keep screaming at me and occasionally kicking me, barking and shoving too. I just stay curled up, feeling like im about to throw up. Hyperventilation starts and im struggling to hold myself together.

I start to hear some other voices too, speaking in Japanese. Just more people to scream at me…

One of the of the voices sound familiar though, from the class I was in, and another, extremely angry voice.

I hear some of what theyre saying, "im gonna fucking kill em" and "Kacchan, you cant kill them, we can get them to leave them alone though".

I hear three sets of footsteps and I look up a bit, it's Midoriya and Todoroki and some other blonde boy who I don't know the name of yet. They all look angry. Like, about to stab someone angry.

I make brief eye contact with Todoroki, his eyes softening slightly as he waves his right hand. Ice shoots from the floor, barricading me from the girls.

"The hell do you think youre doing huh?!", the blonde one yells as he uses explosions coming from his hands to project him onto the wall next to me. "Bakugo, be quieter, you remember what Mr.Aizawa said", Todoroki said in monotone voice, yet still looking pissed, "yeah yeah I know..", Bakugo replies much quieter than before.

The girls look at eachother and Grace speaks up, "what the fuck dude", and Sophie chimes in, "yeah you could've hurt us with that fucking ice". Midoriya looks at me, wanting me to tell them what the girls are saying, but I just put my head down and curl up tighter.

Midoriya tilts his head in confusion, "They've gone non verbal, they wont talk to you until they feel safe, its an autism thing", Bakugo mumbles gruffly.

Todoroki uses the little English he knows and turns towards the girls, taking a step forward, steam coming from the left side of his body. "Go. Away.".

Jessica scoffs, "whateaver.", she says and turns to walk away, the other girls following suit, not without sending me a dirty look or two of course.

The ice disappears as the three of them sit next to me on the wall.

A phew minutes pass by as I calm down and I slowly say, "they broke my headphones.. I cant afford to buy new ones though.." tears trail down my face as all three boys in unison say "i'll buy you new ones"

There's a pause as they look at eachother, Bakugo says in a hardly audible mumble "we'll all buy you things if that makes you happy.." as he looks at me. I sniffle, "you don't have to do that.." I say quietly.

"we will though", Midoriya says happily, smiling at me. "and Kacchan, don't turn this into a competition!", Midoriya practically whined.

"everythings a competition to me, damn nerd." he keeps his voice low, still looking at me, not breaking eye contact.

We spent the rest of break on the wall, talking and laughing about random things, but Bakugo never seemed to take his eyes off me, Midoriya teasing him about it slightly and instantly regretting it.

It was fun and I had a hunch that maybe this month wouldn't be so bad after all.

----------------

I was feeling very Todoroki today idk why but here, three dudes that are willing to buy stuff for you to make you happy, two of em are rich, isn't that everything anyone could ever want :0

This is my first post on tumblr, but if this isnt absolutely terrible please check out my wattpad elijah_fanficss :D

i will probably post all of the stories on here too eventually but just check it out since its where i post everything first, its not long and theres only a phew parts on there at the moment but im working on it T-T

i tend to ramble so just ignore that :p

i am taking ideas so if you wanted me to wright about something drop it in the comments and i can see if its something i would like to do but no promises :)

[bitch-b0i]

Hi! Since Tiktok for some reason believes that all trans people share the same opinion and that my head won’t explode if I see another 15 year old trans kids opinion on neopronouns, I’m gonna try this one more time to see if it sticks:

Neopronouns are not the reason you don’t have rights. People who hate trans people fearmongering, persecuting, and legislating against us is why you don’t have rights. Please shut the fuck up about neopronouns.

For the love of earth, it’s so far out of my business to start beef with teens on the internet and usually I’m such a block and move in sort of person but the amount of likes and people agreeing with the kid in the comments put the fear of god into my soul. It’s the refusal to engage with trans discourse and liberation in any way that doesn’t directly have to do with you, it’s the way that they refuse to understand that their oppressors literally DONT CARE about whether or not neopronouns are used widely or whether people adhere to the gender binary because that’s NOT WHAT ITS ABOUT. Your liberation has nothing to do with how legit your oppressors see you, or how closely you adhere to their idea of normal. Your liberation has nothing to do with “those other, weirder trans people” that you don’t understand making you “look bad.” THE LAWMAKERS IN THIS COUNTRY DONT THINK YOU SHOULD EXIST. IT HAS ZIP AND ZILCH TO DO WITH HOW CRINGY YOUR PEERS ARE. THEY WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU. And the fact that somehow they have convinced you that if you just hide enough of your trans ness by adhering to the gender binary, or that attacking other trans people and turning on your own community is the way to solve that issue is terrifying to me.

And it’s even scarier to read when you recognize that the language these children are using are verbatim what conservatives and transphobes have been saying to trans people for years to justify their persecution and murder???? Claiming that identifying “as a bug or a dog”, which is already a gross misunderstanding of what neopronouns and genders are, is a mental illness??? Claiming that “oh some trans people like me are fine but those OTHER ONES?? Ew”??? And shoving an entire group of identities under the rug just because the conservative brain poison has convinced you that only some trans people are valid in their eyes? Horrifying. Even worse, using your identity as a get out of jail free card, thinking that oppression of your own community is suddenly valid and ok if it’s coming from a member of the same community?

And look. This kid was 15. Did I engage with them? Obviously not. I did what I always do - curate my online space and block them so that I never see that toxic, misguided drivel on my fyp again. But that video had tens of thousands of likes and dozens of comments that said they shared the exact same sentiment. And I know they’re not the only young queer person - or even adult queer person for that matter - who thinks those same things.

I’m scared for our trans youth man. I really am.

[sidespart]

Could you talk/do more of the royality single dads au? What’s Roman and Dee’s relationship like? What is one of Dee’s fav moments w his dad? What’s something they disagree over?

This one??  Wow that was a while ago! Um these are some ideas I remember:

Roman and Dee are very close!

Roman has been raising Dee by himself since he was still a baby! He has worked every part time job going at one point or another to support them. 

Dee’s mum lives across the country. She pays child support (now that she can) and sends birthday/Christmas presents but otherwise isn't really involved in his life outside the occasional visit or phone call.

Dee insists he is FINE with that though because he had his Dad, and his Dad is the BEST and they don’t NEED anyone else and if you say anything about it he will FIGHT YOU.

Dee has a port wine stain on his face and a couple more down his left side.

He has really bad eczema (particularity bad over the port wine stains around his eyes, elbows hands  as well as normal creases) which gets particularity extreme in very hot or very cold weather. 

Roman made him a pair of gloves to help prevent him scratching at his rashes and now he basically wears them all the time because aesthetic.

One of Dee’s favourite things is Self Care Days!

(this basically started out as Roman trying to make ‘I must now essentially dunk my eczema ridden small child in a vat of medicinal gel/ moisturiser’ a slightly less traumatic experience but over time it’s just become something they do).

they wear towel turbans and robes and talk in fancy rich people voices whilst applying vast amounts of moisturiser and then lie around with cucumbers on their eyes listing to soothing music (/the lord of the rings soundtrack).

(once Dee bought some of those cheapo face mask packets for them to try with his allowance but they ended up triggering a huge flair up of eczema so now they sometimes follow youtube tutorials to try and make their own out of like...hummus and stuff and its generally a huge mess) 

He also loves Story Time! 

Roman now works at (/basically runs at this point) a second hand book shop and does a Story Time session for younger kids every week where he reads out loud to them. And of course is amazing at it and does all the voices.

Dee insists he’s way to old for Roman to read him stories (unless its like. a special occasion) but he always just ‘happens’ to be there doing his homework when Story Time is going on.

Roman is still Roman, and falls half in love with every cute guy, gal or non binary pal that smiles at him, but he tends to get a bit panicked and back away from any sort of serious relationship (he maaaaay have some unresolved issues with how his relationship with Dee’s mum ended) and then get super mopey and want to watch a load of Rom Coms and cry.

Dee does not understand this AT all and doesn't get why Roman even wants anymore people in their lives?? He’s already got Dee, Dot and Larry (bookshop owners and unofficial grandparents/ the best people in the world) and sometimes Remy? That’s already so many people?

This is part of Roman’s reasons for swearing off dating, at least until Dee is older. 

Dee also disagree’s with Romans idea that he (Dee) should be...making friends? With kids his own age? ew?

Dee has been bullied before for his wine stain / eczma outbreaks/ gloves/ generally being poor and now has a bit an ‘best defence is a good offence’ attitude to his peers.

also he insists that all other children are a) not as smart as him and b) sticky. So why talk to them when he gets on better with cool adults like Dot?

He def has more of the smarmy sneering persona at school to keep the other kids away. He lets his goofier side out when he’s at home with Roman or other adults he trusts.

This got a lot longer than I intended XD

(also I genuinely can’t remember what my explanation for the marks was originally so that’s why they’re not port wine coloured in the pic) 

(also also Remus did not exist when that drawing was made so Remy was going to be Roman’s well meaning but slightly useless brother)

( I guess now he can have two??

Double the uncles who are not allowed to babysit?)

[thassabadtake]

right. let's examine this.

notice how lily immediately kicks off with "the people criticizing me are obviously wrong!". she doesn't give any proof that they're wrong, she just says they are and expects you to buy it. she also only gives a couple of examples.

people also say that lily frequently says enbyphobic shit. at the very least, she says extremely misinformed, ignorant shit about non-binary people (who do not all like the term "enby", btw).

but she conveniently doesn't mention that.

then she goes on to give an example of when the people criticizing her WEREN'T wrong. and the one she chooses is:

a time last year when she accidentally used a racial slur. 

something she already thinks is wrong to do.

admitting to your mistakes only when you already think they're mistakes is a great way to never realize you're fucking up.

then she calls natalie's dismissal of criticism as cancel culture "gaslighting".

but this is exactly what lily does to HER fans.

anytime she so much as hears a rumor from an anon that someone is saying something negative about her, lily's instant response - without any question or evidence whatsoever - is dismissal.

example i was directly involved in:

this person intentionally obfuscated that Lily's girlfriend was a teenager when they started dating. 19, yes - but that is still a teenager. and there are places where that is not an adult.

they also neglect to bring up that my reason for pointing that out (besides one of her fans saying it was gross, and me letting them know Lily had such a relationship) ....

.... was because LILY was arguing that legality is an end-all-be-all against pedophilia. but it's not, because the age of consent varies by location.

so, if the law is a surefire shut down, then Lily - by her own moral argument - is a sex offender.

which is obviously not true, because Lily lives in Canada, where 19 is considered an adult.

my aim was to explain that there is more to the immorality of pedophilia than laws, because laws change. pedophilia’s wrong on a biological level, not because Lily happens to live in a place where the age of consent is at least reasonable.

but it was boiled down to "ew 26 year old + 20 year old”, and Lily reacted to it without question: even seeming to imply she was watching my blog, and aware of my argument.

only for her girlfriend to later tell me she hadn't read my blog since blocking me.

did her girlfriend lie? or is Lily taking anons at face value and dismissing criticism based on willful ignorance, the way she's ALWAYS done?

this is only an easy example for me to come up with - if you pay attention to when she answers asks about critics, it is nearly always like this.

the only times she seems to admit to her mistakes is when she realizes she's done something she already disagrees with, or she can't reasonably dispute. 

when she fucked up and got non-binary pronouns wrong, she couldn't reasonably say "no, all non-binary people use they/them pronouns like I said".

but if you argue that she's spouting pedophile rhetoric, you have to rely on her tolerating you long enough to convince her she's doing that, and she makes VERY liberal use of the block button.

when you block people who even mildly annoy you, how do you expect to learn when you're wrong? when you constantly assume the worst of your critics, how can you know what they're saying?

notice how she shifts the context of general criticism to being exclusively about people getting onto her for criticizing Contra.

that is NOT the context of the original ask.

she says this anon makes the "fatal flaw" of thinking the people criticizing Lily for Contra, and the people criticizing Contra herself, are the same people.

but the anon didn't make that mistake. they specifically referenced the bad things Lily has done in the past - i.e., outside the context of the Contra scenario.

Lily shifts that context to being about Contra so she can say "it's not angry nonbinary people on Twitter calling me out".

but it IS.

there ARE angry nonbinary people on Twitter calling her out.

just not specifically about Contra.

if she had just said "its not angry nonbinary people calling me out for my opinions on nonbinary people", she would be wrong.

but she specifically phrases it in a way that draws separation between her and Contra. a separation that some nonbinary people do not see.

was that intentional? who knows. she's been caught gaslighting her fans directly already (multiple times: about Lizzy, her opinions on abuse, why she was called out for her opinions on pedophilia, her joking about incest, etc). it's possible this was an intentional mislead to boot.

there is absolutely a reason this anon sees parallels between Lily and Natalie, and I agree that they exist. perhaps not for the reasons listed, but Lily is certainly more like Natalie than she cares to admit - either because she doesn't see it, or because she doesn't want her fans to.

[cohentoplaywithmagic]

are you worth it? | kitty/tina

WHO→ Tina Cohen-Chang and Kitty Wilde WHERE→ Undique Stadium WHEN→  Friday 5th October, Daytime WHAT→  Kitty wants too what Tina has got and she has it.  WARNING→ Violence. Nsfw. Drug Mention, Slurrs. Repressed Sexuality.

Kitty was at Undique Stadium, inside the special room she had booked. It was one of the best ones. She totally flirted with the guy at the counter and he fell for it, the idiot. She was holding the pendant in her hand, turning it around to see the oak leaf catch the light. Alena, her familiar, was swimming in a small cup of water Kitty had gotten from the water fountain. "This is a good sign, Kitty. You two have dueled each other a lot." Alena said. "Ugh, shut up, Alena. I'm going to contest and get it changed! I thought bribing the people at the school would get me Sister Quinn! Instead they put me up with the worst witch ever! My life sucks!" Kitty whined.

Wilde wanted to meet, so Tina was on her way to meet her. It has been about a week now since the pagan festival and the sadness that ached had been starting to dull yet still hanging over Tina like a dark cloud.  The only 'good' that their seemed to be was the Socius Pactum and her and Wilde were a team. Keeping her agreement not to  wear short skirts, Tina needed to get some rouse out of Wilde and found a loophole by wearing short shorts, with a cropped top and hood, all black obviously. Her raven hair twisted up in a messy bun with loose strands framing her face. Dark circles lining her eyes from the little sleep she gave herself worrying. Tina enters, hands in pocket, one fiddling with the charm, the other her phone. "Hey soul partner!" She calls before Wilde. Tina's heart beats quick cause aether this meant the bitch made it through that day.

Kitty gaped at Tina's outfit. Black short shorts. What was this girl on? Mushrooms? Cocaine? Cocaine mushrooms? "It's October?! Excuse me, did you lose your brain cells in the cold? Why are you wearing that?" Kitty exclaimed, jumping up from her seat and knocking her cup of water over. <<Heavenly Father, I’m but your humble servant, lend me your power. Fill your holy vessel with your magnificence, freeze!>> The water from the cup froze in an instant, trapping Alena within the ice. "Kitty, it's so cold." Alena complained. "No duh, Alena! It's ice and shut up!" Kitty hissed at her lame familiar. She hopped to a different spot, to get a better look, and clicked her tongue at Tina. "Soul partner? Ew. Stop. That's not what it means in Latin." Kitty muttered. "Look, I don't want to like fight you today. I just had my nails done and you always end up ruining them." Kitty showed off her fleek nails. She kept it to herself she was never going to fight Tina and hit her with her holy magic again. Last time was the last time. Not because Kitty liked Tina or anything! It's because the Lord punished Tina enough. "I'm going to ask for a change unless you prove to me what you actually got. Because I know I'm flawless." Kitty put her hand over her chest and stuck out a hip. "So got that memorized?"

"That's what the hoodie and boots are for?" Tina rolls her eyes a little,"Besides, ever heard of a warming clothes spell?"  Like come on how the hell did characters in video games last long in their outfits? At least magic had it perks. "You said no skirts, see I'm listening to you." Tina watches as she knocks over the glass of water, freezing it. Her attention turns to Alena, Kitty's familiar more important than Kitty's nails. Choosing to sit on the table instead of the chair, in the mood to swing her legs around. "Fine I won't call us that."  She looks at Aleena,"You should take better care of your Familiar."  Tina didn't want to give her attention, to wind her up or really not caring, a bit of both really. "Fine we won't fight. I'm glad you're giving me a chance...you are kinda flawless...in battle," Tina adds quickly. A dorky smile appears on her face as she quotes Kingdom Hearts, letting out a low giggle. "What do I have to prove?"

"I heard of those spells, but earth-to-Tina, your thighs aren't clothed?" Kitty pointed to Tina's bare thighs. When Tina told her about the skirt ban, Kitty looked at Tina like she was the dumbest thing in the world, and Kitty was into it. "Ew, like we are an 'us', ugh." Kitty muttered under her breath. She watched Tina sit on the table and move her legs around.  She narrowed her eyes when Tina talked about Alena. "Did I ask you about advice? Don't talk to my fish." Kitty stepped in front of Tina and smirked. "Don't waste my chance, Trashy. You're not that bad, which is why I'm giving it to you in the first place." She didn't know what Tina was smiling about, but it wasn't bad. "Like, your magic. I never got to see everything you can do, so bare it all."

Crossing her legs over as she leans back on her hands on the table. "So...the rest of me is warm so I am fine." Tina wonders if Kitty is looking at her thighs because why would she.  Tina could hear her mutter under her breath since they were the only ones that were in the room,"There is an us if we are going to be something," she was only talking about the pact, nothing but the pact. Something about being around Kitty, felt normal with all the chaos that had been happening. "I won't mess this up," she straightens her back being a little more serious as she eyes up the blonde in front of her. "It's true you haven't everything. You want me to bare it all?" Tina shrugs, emptying out her pockets, sliding the black hoodies off slowly, in a means to tease Wilde about baring it all.

Kitty pursed her lips. Tina was right, they were going to be an us if they were going to be partners. Pact partners. Kitty twirled her fingers around her hair since she had nothing to say. "Yeah, you better not." The insult didn't come out right. What did come out was a stifled squeak when Tina started to take off her clothes. "I-if you catch hypothermia, I wouldn't be surprised, and I didn't mean that, you lesbo. Just show me your magic." Kitty's eyes were wide and she stared for a hot second before she tossed her head to the side.

A squeak left from Kitty's lips that Tina never expected to hear. "I was only taking off my hoodie? Geez, relax a little would you?" She lets out a long sigh, though a smirk tugs on her lips as this was a chance to be a little bit playful. "Alright, alright." Folding her legs over one another, Tina reaches for her phone scrolling through her spells. "This one!" Tina clicks on the spell , her phone starts to glow with her magic circle around. She casts <<🔮 🎯🎯🎯🔮>> , in binary code before the materialises moving targets, that float slowly around them.  "One trick, digital materialisation. I can download what I want, when I want. They aren't 100% real but they are close as they can be."

Kitty glared. "I'm so chill, bitch." She said through a bitchy smile and watched as Tina did her magic, and Kitty was mesmerized by it. She had never seen magic like this before. She had heard of it but seeing it in person was a whole new sight. "How did you make those?" Kitty asked, walking over in her sneakers to touch the targets. It was solid. "Download? How real are we talking about?" Kitty could see the money signs appearing behind her eyes. But she needed to test Tina's magic in battle. "I bet these things are flimsy though. I can't trust New Age magic." Kitty said, putting up her guard. She had to break one to see.

@Tina :  3d7  = (2+3+5) = 10

@Kitty :  1d7  = (4) = 4

Kitty put her hands together in prayer. <<Heavenly Father, I’m but your humble servant, lend me your power. Fill your holy vessel with your magnificence, pierce through falsehoods!>> Kitty put one hand out, her pretty white-blue nails were shining when her magic circle appeared. She created an icicle and it shot out like a cannon, breaking through one of Tina's targets. It made a loud boom noise. It felt real. "I'm not impressed. These are just floating walls. Is this all?"

Something about Kitty’s ice magic was stunning and oh so fearful. Tina watched as one of her own targets seems to just dissolve aways so quickly. “No that is not all!” Tina quipped back at Wilde. She wanted this, she really wanted this. To be partners with Kitty. It was the best way to make sure...Tina tries not think about the worst. Scrolling through her phone she casts  <<🔮⚡️🐉⚡️🔮>>  in a blaze of light her lightning dragon unfurled its wings, floating a little away from them.

@Tina 36/36  📱 Beesy  🐝:  1d7  = (5) = 5

@Kitty 😼 {19/19 & L.3 (2/3)}+2:  1d7  = (2) = 2

Kitty grinned at seeing Tina react to her magic. 'I'm like totally awesome.' She felt prouder than ever. It was because she was showing the New Age her place... or so Kitty was telling herself. There were more targets left and Kitty was aiming another spell at one more. <<Heavenly Father, I’m but your humble servant, lend me your power. Fill your holy vessel with your magnificence, freeze these fools!>> Her ice magic was swirling around a target when Tina's phone exploded in a flash of light. "Turn your flash down!" Kitty screamed and when she opened her eyes, she saw a dragon in front of her.  "Cheese and rice." Kitty whispered. "How in God's Holy Name did you make that. Is it a hologram?"

@Tina 36/36  📱 Beesy  🐝:  1d7  = (2) = 2

There was something fearful in Kitty's voice when Tina's phone lights up in her hand and her dragon appears. She can't help but stare a little at Kitty as their is therense of fear and slight wonderment in Kitty's eyes. Her voice lowered, making a lopsided smile creep on Tina's cheeks. "Data and emoji codes," Tina whispers, shaking her head. "No, it is solid and real...to an extent at least." She walks near, calling her dragon down, petting it on the head. "See?" Tina grins but that isn't all it can do. <<🔮⚡️🐉⚡️🔮 ️️>> she casts in control of her summon, as it spread it's wings, letting out small flickers of electricity like a light breeze. Though the flickers were nothing impressive just mere static.

Kitty touched the dragon's head after Tina did. 'This is heathen magic.' She warned herself but Kitty was drawn to the shiny pixels and the slight static in the air. "Ok, you're like nothing compared to my Graceful self, but like this isn't too bad... for trash magic." Kitty coughed and pulled her hand back into her crossed arms. "It's like, better than I expected." Kitty wondered about the upcoming Field Studies Course. It was going to be her debut to the other students since the workshop where she totaled Blaine Anderson, but even Jesus knew he wasn't an actual challenge. Kitty wanted to impress.  'This could work.' Kitty glanced at Tina, and pointed at her after making her mind. "Ok, you're on a trial run with me, Trashy. In the upcoming tournament, I expect us to show the others how superior I am, and your job will be to make sure you don't embarrass yourself, which will be embarrassing me. Now... let's talk about strategy. Come on." She grabbed Tina by the sleeve of her jacket and pulled her to the benches. They had to come up with a plan to dominate the others.

Tina rolls her eyes lightly,”Sure my magic is trashy.” Tina can’t help but scoff and laugh but her smile was still present. She steps a little closer in Kitty’s space,”I try not to disappoint. So we are partners then?” Her voice way too eager than she has meant it to be. “I won’t...actually there is a thing or two I wanna prove about this,” Tina tucks some hair behind her ear,”You’re powerful Kitty...I’m kinda glad we are together.” Before she knew she was being pulled my Kitty sitting closely by her.”Yes strategy,” herself a little flustered. “So here is all the info I got...”

[6ad6ro]

an explanation post and small update about that thing that recently happened with that one ex friend. just fyi, this is very long:

first, some backstory. i have an issue where i often end up staying in abusive relationships (friends/family/dating) for way too long for various reasons. that said, this friend. they were always problematic. they would continue aggressively making passes at me even tho i rejected them constantly. like really gross passes that reminded me of why i “hate (stereotypical) men”. bc it was real bro-style creeping. hitting on me incessantly. always hanging all over me and making any excuse to have physical contact. making gross innuendo “jokes” that went too far just… always. at one point they licked my ear when we were taking a photo together. etc.

now i confronted them on this many times. asked them to tone it down. explained how uncomfortable and stressed they made me. told them “i’m sorry but i just don’t feel that way and i wanna be friends” like god SO often. my sister (used to be friends w them too) even would sit and we’d try to explain to them why they needed to stop.

but of course, they’d always reply to this with extreme defensiveness. say i was just over thinking it. that this is just who they were. that they joke with ALL their friends this way (sidenote i’ve seen how squeamish they can make their other friends). that “maybe i should rethink my standards for what is okay and not okay”. would even accuse me of being paranoid and “gaslighting” them. even when it got better, they were always making little jokes like “oh srry i wanted to pat you on the back but idk if you’ll get mad at me” like they really wanted to let me know i was in the wrong. and beyond that, they always seemed to be like actively trying to find new avenues of hitting on me.

and that was just the personal space issues. they’d also like rage at games when we played together? like slamming my controller to the floor when they lost. being overly competitive. being rude to my other friends if they were “holding them back” in a game. they’d actually criticize people who didn’t agree with how they wanted to play as being “unskilled” and “not real gamers”. and if you ever were beating them, they’d be all angry and say stuff like you were being “ cheap”. any mistake they made in a game was “people cheating”. but any time they did well (including purposeful exploiting), it was a boast worthy achievement. trashtalk all day but only they were allowed to do it.

it was weird too bc TBH THEY AREN’T EVEN ALL THAT GOOD. like overall, i’d almost always beat them. my sister too. they were mediocre at best. but of course… they’d literally make statements like “i almost always beat you” and “i usually win” when it was just… such a rare occurrence. its just… when it came to trying to have a fun play session with people, they put the game and winning above… you know… having fun w the rest of us? and sidenote they were always SUPER picky about what game we played. and when it came to options like “what guns to use” or “what stage to play”… you know how often people take turns so everyone is happy? on their turn, they’d get respect. but on everyone elses turn, they’d always like… fuck around and change options back to theirs and like revert stuff and just…

not that age matters but did i mention they were 27. i mean idk i only bring it up bc they reminded me so much of a little kid like esp about videogames. but there were a lot of other issues with them too. but i’ll just bring up the last big one. they… morally/politically? they tended to be in a cool direction in general. v “supports human rights overall” kinda person. but… they were the type who were idk v quick to judge? they would make extreme judgement calls with no information. they’d always end up fixated on conspiracies rather than perceiving things with moderation. people can think what they want imo, but the issue here is how they needed anyone close to them to agree with them too? 

example: one time i was driving w them in an area that had very little shops and it was late and i had forgotten to pick up a gift for someone we were meeting. just a small thing to thank them for a favor. the ONLY store open and around was walmart. yes fine walmart sucks but  idk i needed a gift. i mentioned i was gonna stop by there and they were like “no not walmart”. and i’m like “yeah i know lol” and they were like “no seriously we cant go in there”. long story they refused to go in, wouldn’t wait in the car, and made it out like if i went in that there would be a big problem. i ended up showing up to the person empty handed and it sucked. another time just recently i was gonna get some lays potato chips and they were like “ew no you can’t buy anything from the cocacola company” and like shamed me and walked off so i couldn’t get them. idk this kinda stuff happens all the time tbh? but it doesn’t stop at just like pretentious annoyance. they’d go HARD with political opinions too and if you disagreed w them they’d HATE you. not just internet forums or strangers. but friends. one time my sister (who for the sake of the story is pan and leaning towards non-binary) disagreed with them when they made a sweeping statement on fb about how some specific thing made everyone “transphobic”. anyways when my sister tried to discuss it with them they literally sicked their friends on her and insulted and browbeat her until she just had to leave. she got stressed at the end and yelled back finally and then they sent her a pm like “i’m really disappointed in you. i’ll be waiting for an apology when you’re ready to give it”. lol long story short my sis dropped them at that point. as she put it “i thought highschool was over”. she was already super mad at them for how they were treating me sexually anyhow tho like... srry but i guess one of my points is my sister is like one of the coolest, nicest, best people i know. she never drops people. but she dropped THEM. over the years i’ve asked them why they go from 0 to 11 so fast and why they don’t... idk... “lead” people into agreeing with them rather than angrily and violently just immediately demanding it? and as they put it “people with strong opinions will never change so don’t bother with them” and “i act how i do as an example to others of how to be a good person”. but god i guess just recently i came to realize that they were just... i don’t think they cared about other people. they just wanted to protect THEMSELVES above all else? they wanted a reason to judge people. it was all an excuse for them to feel self-righteous and act entitled and superior. oops i forgot to mention that they’re pan and gender-neutral as well? maybe they identify as trans but idk. the only reason i mention it is bc they definitely use it as a way to shame people and feel superior. i know it’s easy to be sensitive about that stuff considering, but they go above and beyond. and it’s weird that they’re all about human rights and w/e bc GOD they’re so gross sexually and... srry another example. so they’re a furry. totally fine imo. but one day we were walking around a downtown area with a lot of bars late at night and they were wearing fox ears/tail and bein themselves nbd. but we passed by a “drunkbus” right as cookie-cutter bros spilled out of it. one of them was like “hey i didn’t know the furry convention was in town” and i immediately got super angry and turned to say something. but then i looked to see my friend had just continued to walk away? i took a breath and walked back to them and was like “i’m so sorry like do you want me to say something?” and they were like “it’s okay some day i’ll fuck them until they like it” or “until i turn them” or god idk i think they maybe even used the term “rape”... alarm bells tbh. blahh i won’t go into any more details but lets just say how they act and how they say a person SHOULD act is a dictionary definition of hypocrisy. well anyways, i guess my point i wanted to make with this backstory is, as i’ve finally come to realize... they’re an immature, self-righteous, spoiled person with a pretty distinct martyr complex. and they’re kinda rapey. they always used to complain about all this drama they had and how awful everyone was to them... and it always sounded like “really bad luck”? but i realize now that they were just a tornado of selfishness with like no emotional control and they couldn’t keep friends for too long before it just had to end in a big flaming ball. sorry like i should point out i know they’re obv full of mental illness... but i don’t think they really go to therapy or seek help for any of it? like so many of us on here are pretty messed up but we do our best? this person is not doing their best. they clearly feel the world should change before they do. anyways anyways anyways. this friendship lasted for idk 2 years? 3? it was weird that i didn’t notice my own reactions as warning signs. like when i don’t know someone too well or am having issues... i’ll often bring another friend to hangouts as a sort of buffer. maybe uncool, but it helps. usually this only lasts for like one or two hangouts. but with this ex friend, it lasted the entire period. whenever i tried to hang out w them alone, a much bigger incident would always happen, and i’d go back to square one. but okay. the actual story of the incident: so i was always trying to get them to hang out with me and another friend bc i felt like we all had v similar hobbies, and this past tuesday it finally happened. we all hung out at other friend’s place and played games and ate food and outside of exfriend’s usual little issues, it went really well. at some point it was mentioned that sonic mania released that day. it was something we had all been very excited about, but we already had plans that day and some of us (me) didn’t want to experience the game the first time in a distracted social environment. but i mentioned “ugh i have a doc appointment early tomorrow but i’ll still dl it right when i get home. i better not play it tho lol weh”! when they heard i was buying it, they were like “oh man you gotta let me come over and try it”. i knew they were a big fan of the guy who made it and a huge sonic fan, but also that they had just lost their job and money was tight (i had to buy their food that day). i had a feeling they’d morally be against pirating it temporarily until they could afford it. so idk i was like “hey listen as long as we only play like the first act each, i could take you to my place before i drive you home. but only if you’re okay with being v quick bc i have dr in the morning”. sidenote they refuse to drive and don’t use a bike so hanging out with them always involved carting them around. and no before they lost their job (v recently), they coulda def afforded it. they literally were constantly buying insanely expensive collectibles like think of the most expensive gaming stuff you can and they prob have it. sealed panzer dragoon saga. vectrex with every game. fami twin with working disc system parts. ique with most games loaded. mint physical laserdisc copy (beta?) of dragons lair from the arcade machine. whatever. my point is they spent all their money on toys instaid of bettering themselves. we all do it but they took it to an extreme. one other thing... they only would communicate over their parent’s lan line phone and over facebook. they refused to have a cellphone. back to story. they excitedly agreed to my conditions and we went back to my place and installed the game. i started playing and god it was amazing (obv)! i got to the end of act 1 in a couple of minutes and was like “okay i should rly quit and hand it to you” but they were like “no no finish the zone” and tbh it was so good i agreed. so i played until i beat the boss and then i was like “okay i can’t go further” and quit and then handed it to them. i think the whole zone took me like... 5 minutes? this is when it started getting weird. i noticed my gf had called and like idk she was a bit worried bc i normally call her after i get home from my other friend’s place (we hang every tuesday like clockwork) and it had gotten really late but i forgot to let her know. it was really sweet and i didn’t want her to worry so i was like “hey uh shoot do you mind if i call her?” and tbh they were like already so absorbed in playing the game they weren’t even paying attention to me. but i had given them the rly comfy chair but it blocked the exit to the room. i couldn’t even squeeze by unless they moved first. so i started like asking them ‘hey uh do you mind pausing and moving so i could get by?”... nothing. again i asked. ignored. this went on for like idk 30 sec? a minute? until i finally was like hovering my finger over to hit the pause button like “can you please just pause so i can leave” like... and only then did they finally say “well fine but i don’t even know how to pause”. let me take the time to point out that they are prob the most techy person i know. esp about old game systems. they build flashcarts and repair ancient consoles and solder and mod and they worked the past 4(?) years at a legit retro game store. and they were amazing to begin with. it’s a small thing, but they coulda figured out how to pause a switch. they’d played one many times before too. so finally i have them pause it. and i’m like still standing there for 30 sec or so and they still aren’t budging? and i’m like “you uhh gotta get up so i can get by the chair is blocking me”. they continue to idk ignore??? i finally have to literally pick up the chair WITH them still in it and move it aside. only then could i pass. idk but i didn’t get angry or anything bc i was just relieved to finally get by. as i walked out of the room i mentioned to them “hey if i take too long just keep playing obv but when i walk in please pause it and quit immediately so i don’t see later level content plz” (i’m a big baby and have been avoiding all details for so long and was looking forward to the surprise lol). and they were like “okay” or something. i went out to my car and talked w my gf for god idk 15 or 20 min? i didn’t want to talk that long but she was going to bed soon and was a bit down/ill and i still wanted to talk to her and idk i knew worst case my one friend would love the extra time to play. and i felt like if i stayed out that long i could go in to a very satisfied friend, you know? so i get off the phone and head inside. i enter the room and am like “okay i’m back plz pause it like we gotta go”! ignored. i ask again kinda lol trying to plug my ears and not look. ignored. at that point i notice the same song from the first zone is playing and i look over and it is in fact the same level and i’m like ??? “wait how are you still on the first level??” and they were like “oh i’m completing all of the special stages”. the first thought i had was like oh wow cool they really wanted to stick to my initial request of only playing the first zone? unnecessary but v nice of them! i guess i was really reaching for an explanation lol... so whatever they still are playing so i sit down next to them and am watching them play for another minute or so. i was about to say something bc they still weren’t stopping but then i notice how close they are to the boss and am like “oh okay cool you’re p much to the boss so you’ll be done super quick”. they keep playing. at that point i notice they’;re like... taking sonic up and around the level kinda in circles? and backtracking? like? it’s really weird and i’m like “wait what are you doing” and they’re like “trying to get rings to complete the special stages”... so i’m like “uhh sorry tbh but i’m already way past when i wanted to go to bed is there any way you can just... go to the boss”?? and they’re still doing their thing and ignoring me and so i speak up again like “cmon like i’m really sorry but this doctors appointment is an obligation and i really need to get to bed”. and at that point they pause the game. stand up angrily. kinda fling the controller so it hits the table and falls onto the hard floor. they start kinda flailing their arms angrily and say in this really sour tone “oh im sorry i just thought you were gonna idk let me PLAY the GAME”??? i start replying like “listen i’m sorry i just like i don’t have a choice in the matter like i have to go to bed like you had like 3 times as much time as i did and idk maybe you can take the switch into the car or something idk??” and they just kinda angrily say “whatever whatever just stop yelling at me”. btw i’m not yelling. i’m definitely definitely not yelling. i’m not even angry. calm. nice. confused at best? and this isn’t one of those things where it’s like “im not yelling bc when i yell you really KNOW it”... i just wasn’t yelling by anyone’s terms. at that point i’m like “listen i’m sorry i just don’t know why this is becoming such an issue like idk maybe you can wear headphones in the car and keep playing later levels or...” and that’s when they’re like “it doesn’t matter just STOP yelling at me”. and the chair is in the way of the exit and needs to be like lifted and moved so we can leave. but at that point they take their foot and just KICK the chair across the room. at that point i’m kinda like “listen i’m sorry if i have a tone in my voice or am hurting your feelings but tbh it’s kinda hard to remain perfectly calm when you’re sorta throwing a temper tantrum and..” and that’s when they shouted as loud as they could “OKAY NOPE UH UH BYEEE” and swung open the door and ran through the house to the exit door. i’m trying to call after them like “shit i’m really sorry but i don’t have time to chase after you i gotta go to bed please can i just take you home like if you leave i gotta just let you and go to bed” and they ignore me and run outside. it’s like 2am at this point btw. i kinda go outside to check if they’re standing there cooling down but no. long gone. ran down the street i think. so i go back inside. turn the light out. and lock the door. i just dont have time to deal with this. i want to but i can’t. but i sit there for a few minutes. and... (maybe) the mentally ill/abused side of me is like “well you COULD go look for them and try to calm them down and drive them home and it wouldn’t take THAT much longer than you were gonna already spend driving them, right? worst case if you don’t find them you can just go home and go to bed”. and so i head outside.as i enter my car tho, i get this weird gut awful feeling of deja vu? i realise pretty quickly that this scenario was pretty similar to the ones i had pretty regularly with my one really bad ex gf. the one who was a manipulative sociopath that used me and cheated on me and also had no emotional control etc etc etc lol? and idk i was surprised bc... i thought that this part of my life had been over. but still... the dumb side of my brain ignored that and carried on. i drove along the path i assumed they walked, thinking maybe they woulda taken the time to calm down. after a bit i finally caught up to them. i pulled up slowly and kinda called out like “hey i’m really sorry like i never wanted it to go down that way like you’re my friend like let me take you home i’m really sorry”. they ignored me for a bit and kept doing that angry car walk thing as i had to slowly follow behind and continue apologizing. finally they stopped and came to the window. they were like “listen you can’t talk to me like that and abuse me like that like what you did was so awful and bullying and ..” and went on like that for a min. and i was like “listen i’m sorry and i know me using that one word in particular must have really set you off but idk..” like trying to explain to them why i said “temper tantrum” (BC THATS WHAT THEY FUCKING HAD BTW THATS WHAT IT GD WAS) but i was trying to be nice about it? so i continued on “well i mean the reason i said that was okay like i know you were agitated but you kinda like tossed my controller haphazardly and it hit the floor and yeah i’m sure it was an accident...” and at that point they stuck their head inside the window like super close to my face and shouted as loud and angrily and full of spittle as they fucking could “WELL MAYBE IT WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT THEN”!!!! i’m like... idk... adrenaline just dumps into my body. i’m giving this person so so so many chances tonight. being so nice. and this is a problematic friend to begin with. and they’re shouting in my face like this as i try to apologize to them so i can drive them home after they ran off. but i’m a pacifist and i try to avoid conflict. but still... i’m like, probably quietly, “you... you can’t just yell at me like that. you aren’t allowed to yell at me like that.” and they open their mouth and start shouting more. and that’s when i shout back “I WON’T LET YOU SHOUT AT ME LIKE THAT”!!! idk if it scared them or what like i know i’m pretty booming and alarming when i shout idk but regardless they yanked their head out of the window and backed away from the car and i split second checked they were clear and i just floored it. but... i quickly slammed on the breaks. took a breath. decided i didn’t want it to be like this (do you see how stupid/messed up i am). i put it in reverse and turned around to back up. but i have to slam on the breaks. thank god i was only idling at that point. bc they’re pressed RIGHT up against my back bumper. i’m trying to comprehend all this bc there’s a v big sidewalk and they were on it when i started to speed off so why are they right behind my car now? a BIG alarm bell goes off in my head but i ignore it. i stare at them as they wait pressed against my bumper for like half a minute, giving them “what are you doing” eyes and gestures. finally they come back to the window. i’m like “listen. i’m really really sorry. it’s okay if you hate me. we don’t have to talk about it or at all. i made a mistake. i’m very sorry. can i just... take you home? i feel bad. we can try and work out this stuff later if we have to”. at that point they start yelling at me again (not screaming but just normal yelling) and telling me how awful and bullying and abusive etc i am and how their reactions were justified and idek bc they started walking off again. FINALLY. FINALLLLLY. my brain accepts this situation as fairly impossible and unreasonable and i decide i gotta be done. i just... can’t? anymore?? even if i wanted to... i don’t have time? so i pull up next to them and say sternly “you know what? you can’t treat your friends like this or they will LEAVE you.” and i sped off. i think i heard them screaming after me like “YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE” but god knows like my car is junk but i had floored it so they were long gone. okay so that’s PRETTY much the end of it. i decided pretty quickly after that that i was DONE with this person forever. that this wasn’t the kind of friendship i wanted. over the next few days i came to realize i should have been done with this person almost immediately. again, weird parallels to my worst ex. you don’t have to be dating someone or romantic w them for it to be a super abusive relationship. well anyhow i decided to avoid facebook or communicating w them for a bit so i could figure out how to like “officially end it”. because i was sure that they’d have gone on fb and written one of their common “i’m sorry i acted that way BUT” fake apologies where they pretend to be sorry but then negate the apologies by justifying all their behavior by making me out as some super abusive monster. 3 days later, i bite the bullet and check facebook, bc i realize this also is a pretty easy way for me to like... end it with them in a polite and cordial way? to pretend i don’t hate them. to talk to them in a way that hopefully keeps them from freaking out at me the next time our paths cross? also bc deep down i still do remember the good times and have a bit of respect for them. sure enough, it was there. the half-apology that leads into “you need to learn how to talk to people”. “you bullied me just like this person”. “when you talk to anyone you should use this tone”. tbh i only barely glazed over it. i started my reply along the lines of “i don’t want to get into a big discussion about what happened, but i think it would be best if we parted ways. i don’t think we’re compatible as friends. i hope we can be polite if we ever run into each other again. i’m really sorry that it turned out this way.” etc etc etc. part way in, i noticed their last short msg. sent way after the initial bunch of “sorry not sorry”s. it was just a half sentence. “i guess i should apologize for jumping in front of your car...” ... THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE. THAT BASTARD. THEY REALLY DID IT. THEY REALLY WERE TRYING TO FORCE ME TO INJURE THEM WITH MY CAR SO THEY COULD ENTRAP ME OR SUE ME OR FUCK MY LIFE UP. I THOUGHT I WAS BEING CRAZY AND PARANOID WHEN I HAD THAT THOUGHT BUT IT WAS TRUE. THAT ABSOLUTE LUNATIC. *deep breath* i’m still shaken. it was just a fluke that i didn’t step on the gas before i noticed them against my bumper. it EASILY could’ve gone down in the worst way. god. and all this over me asking them to stop playing sonic mania. tbh the experience kinda soured the game a bit for me? i mean... thank god it’s so good but really who even gives a shit bc it’s just a game like GOD fucking DAMN i can’t believe i had something so FUCKED happen at this stage in my life. i know it’s a really self-hating thing to do to blame myself for having someone like that around but... my. god. i ended up sending the fb message that i was initially planning and ignoring all the impulses to scream at them or call some authority (idek what i could do here) or tell them they need immediate help or what bc what the fuck. and i haven’t checked fb since. i wanna be done forever. i don’t ever wanna see or hear or hear about this person again. it’s a bit silly but i’m cleaning house and getting rid of all the stuff they got for me (i rejected most of their “wooing” gifts but a few still got through bc general gift exchange”. i know it’s messed up but i even washed all the clothes i was wearing w them regardless if it needed a wash or not. maybe it was symbolic. but they’re dead to me. god. it’s not just for the best it’s goddamn mandatory.

ANYWAYS so that’s it i guess. sorry i know how long this was. i don’t REALLY expect anyone to read through all this. but if you do, plz lmk so i can say thanks i guess lol? it’s just nice to get it all out there bc it kinda messed me up... really bad? idk. and oh um i’ll still reply to people individually for asking about the previous post that related to this? but it’s taking me a bit to do replies bc i’m just... kinda scared regarding social stuff rn considering.  i guess the last thing i’ll say is if part of you is telling yourself that someone is abusive and you find yourself constantly making really big considerations or umm excuses just to hang out with someone? maybe don’t. there are many good people out there for you. abusive people can be dangerous. be careful and try to surround yourself with nice, happy people. <3

[bestmovies0]

Kings of loser comedy: how Flight of the Conchords took off

New Zealands fourth most well known folk-parody act are on a sold-out arena tour. Is there a shrewdness behind the duos laidback shtick?

Few comics ever play London’s O2 Arena and fewer still oversee three nights in a row. Those who do tend to have some things in common: a relatable observational style, limited creative desire and ruthless commercial savvy. None of which applies to Flight of the Conchords, perhaps the unlikeliest act ever to reach those airless elevations of the comic stratosphere.

I insured Flight of the Conchords last week, warming up for their forthcoming realms tour with a run at the 140 -seat Soho theatre. Watching their suite of kooky sungs about medieval romance, piano-playing seagulls and spoonful thieves, laughing at their low-key converse and minutely detailed interplay, the believed to be their imminent transfer to arena stages was supremely incongruous. Not least to the Conchords themselves.” We’ll continue that in for the O2 ,” they’d remark, after this or that improvised quip or ramshackle moment of fun.

If you first learnt Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement, as I did, in a dingy cellar on the Edinburgh fringe 15 years ago, you are able struggle to wrap your head around the scale of their new tour. But if you factor in a Disney film, writing an Oscar-winning song for The Muppets, a sleeper make HBO sitcom, and the fact that this musical-comedy duo is one of the funniest and most talented acts to come along in two decades- well, an explanation have started to take shape.

It’s certainly not down to any dead-eyed careerism. In my 20 years of interviewing comics, few showed as shambling and un-starry as McKenzie and Clement in 2003– the year they were nominated for Edinburgh’s Perrier award. The previous year, theirs had been the festival’s breakout present, due largely to word-of-mouth enthusiasm spread by fellow comics.

Watch the chant Hiphopopotamus vs Rhymenoceros, from episode three of Flight of the Conchords.

Their shtick was artless banter spliced with improbable comic ballads , notable for their pernickety lyrics and eclectic musicianship. Zoological rap combat Hiphopopotamus Vs Rhymenoceros was an early favourite (” They call me the Hiphopopotamus/ My lyrics are bottomless” and” I’m not a large water-dwelling mammal/ Where did you get that absurd hypothesis ?”). The Humans Are Dead, with its” binary solo” and robo-vocal report of the cataclysm, was another, while their Space Oddity spoof Bowie’s in Space was achingly near the mark.

With merely a couple of acoustic guitars and a digital glockenspiel, they were maestros of every pop music style imaginable, although they concealed their talent with gags.” You can tell when we’ve learned a new chord ,” they told me,” because we’ll use it in our next three anthems .” On stage, they played losers who thought they were wins. Off stage, they were wins who pretended to be losers. They’d been invited to Hollywood to pitch a project, they told me- but” you needed a clearly defined suggestion of what you wanted to do, and we didn’t have any suggestion at all “. So they were sent packing.

I left that interview unsure whether I’d gratified the “real” Clement and McKenzie or an extension of the gormless act. From the off, they excelled at clambering true and fiction- as per the blissful bit of onstage talk in which they guess when the other is in character (” You’re in … now you’re out … now you’re in …”) It helped that they took deadpan to whole new tiers of blankness.

” It’s so dry and so Kiwi ,” says their compatriot and fellow comic Rose Matafeo, who is not alone in tracing much of the Conchords’ distinctiveness back to their national character.” The constant self-deprecation, the playing it straight, these are so common in New Zealand. We’re at the bottom of the world, so isolated. We’re like what the fuck is happen if “youve left” someone alone in a chamber for a day .”

Jarred Christmas, another New Zealand comic, is surprised how far this took them.” I never envisioned there’d be an international espouse of that. I’d never seen that happen, comedy-wise .” Christmas co-starred in the Conchords’ eponymous 2005 Radio 2 sitcom, as did Jimmy Carr, Daniel Kitson and Rob Brydon( the Conchords have always surrounded themselves with fast-rising flair ).” What struck me ,” Christmas says,” is that no matter how laidback they find themselves, they’ve always believed they’re good enough. You’ll notice that, on the radio demonstrate , not one of their chants was played in full. So they retained the rights, rather than those defaulting to the BBC. Clearly, they had their visions set on something bigger .”

No strife, only placid acceptance … the HBO series Flight of the Conchords. Photograph: BBC/ Paul Schiraldi/ HBO

Something bigger duly came in 2007, with the launch of the duo’s HBO sitcom, again eponymously named. They played themselves as hapless immigrants in New York, inducing zero impression as a band whose director( played by Rhys Darby) moonlights as a culture attache at the New Zealand consulate. The series feigned to taunt their homeland’s eccentricity and boringness. But, really, it celebrated those qualities. Eccentricity and boringness were the show’s touchstones, while its USP was the radical flatness of McKenzie and Clement’s performances. They took the faux-real stylings of The Office et al and ratcheted up the humdrum, but blended it with wildly incongruous flares of carol in which Bret and Jemaine’s fantasy lives paraded in all the regions of the screen.

The show ran for two series, featuring soon-to-be-illustrious co-stars( Aziz Ansari, Kristen Wiig) and winning Emmy nominations. Clement and McKenzie likewise won a 2008 Grammy for best comedy album. The series was never more than a cult hitting, in the UK at least, but its significance outperformed its ratings. It opened the world up to indie Kiwi culture and alerted American Tv to overseas flair. Where McKenzie and Clement led, the likes of Trevor Noah, John Oliver and James Corden have followed. Likewise, in its depiction of failure, in its disdain for TV conventions( it was part-improvised ), and in its uniquely hip brand of musical comedy, the present proved more influential than its modest impact at the time might suggest.

Conventionally, failing in comedy has been something to rail against: it’s the fight that builds it funny. In Flight of the Conchords, there is no battle, merely placid adoption.” It demonstrated you didn’t have to be an alpha male ,” says Christmas- and in so doing, it winged the flag for a new generation stimulating more arty and intimate, less obvious and aggressive slapstick. But it cross-fertilised that strain with the gentle surrealism of Spaced and The Mighty Boosh, to show that you could be dorky losers and rock deities, showed bachelors and lotharios.

Key to this were the hymns, two per episode, that underscore the flights of fancy that offset( or should that be overtake ?) Bret and Jemaine’s feckless real lives. The songs alter current realities, moving the plot along in unreal routes, as if singing yourself out of loser-dom genuinely were an option. Narratively, it stimulated tenuous sense, but you were enjoying the hymns too much to care.

” One of the hardest things in musical comedy is to write a number that people want to hear again ,” says Phil Nichol, of 1990 s Canadian musical comedy act Corky and the Juice Pigs.” Usually, once you’ve heard the gags at the end of each stanza, you know all you need to know. But both Jemaine and Bret are astounding musicians. They write stuff that stimulates you think,’ Wow, why didn’t I write that ?’ Their ballads are exceptionally replayable .” Many of them match or even overshadow the trails they pastiche- such as the Emmy-nominated Carol Brown( based on Paul Simon’s 50 Lane to Leave Your Lover ), or the Peter Sarstedt take-off Rambling Through the Avenues of Time.

The villainous crustacean Tamatoa voiced by Jemaine Clement in Disney’s Moana. Photograph: Allstar/ Walt Disney Productions

It’s certainly a rare accomplishment to stimulate musical comedy cool . A rarer feat still is to alumnu from writing funny sungs to winning best chant Oscars, which McKenzie did in 2012 with Man or Muppet from that year’s Muppets movie. Clement’s interim job has been even more eye-catching, with voiceover roles as Fleshlumpeater in Steven Spielberg’s The BFG, as the villainous crustacean Tamatoa in Disney’s Moana, and as intergalactic criminal Boris” the Animal” in Men in Black III.

” People who discovered them at the movies have then gone back and watched Flight of the Conchords ,” says Christmas.” And the sitcom did what The Office did: it stopped at its peak, arguably before its peak, so people have remained perpetually desperate for more .”

And now they’re get it, as McKenzie and Clement touch down for the UK leg of their world tour.” They’ve just been so consistently good over their entire job ,” says Matafeo, who credits the life she’s living today as a New Zealand comic, based in the UK and working internationally, to their example.” Everyone has their own special relationship with a stage of the Conchords’ job. Some people learnt them early, at Edinburgh. Some people- like me- recollect downloading bootlegs of their hymns from the internet. And some people came to them after the sitcom finished. It’s all been so good that, whenever you encounter them, you fall in love with them .”

Flight of the Conchords are at Portsmouth Guildhall from 5-7 March. Then touring the UK until 3 April. Phil Nichol’s tour Your Wrong starts in September . li>

Read more: https :// www.theguardian.com/ stage/ 2018/ disfigured/ 04/ flight-of-the-conchords-comedy-tour

from https://bestmovies.fun/2018/03/06/kings-of-loser-comedy-how-flight-of-the-conchords-took-off/