#its like if a bad omen weren’t cool as hell and instead quoth the raven ‘ur dead forever ur life is ruined’ yk
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Talked to my parents abt my name,,, my dad? Interesting, but nm abt it. Seemed inwardly disappointed. My mum? Doesn’t like it, wouldn’t go with it. If i go by another name she’d like it to be linked to my Name. Which. Mrm. And i just. I know it’s stupid. I didn’t think about if I ‘looked like a Sirius’. I don’t have a body and if I did it wouldn’t matter. What does my appearance mean to a name? Names dont look like anything but the letters used to write them. My headache has worsened and my throat is tight. On the verge of tears. My Name just has Shit attached to it, every time I hear it in any context I think im in trouble. I feel detached from it. My names? Tragedy, Sirius? Those ones feel more like me. Stupid puns and shit on those bitches don’t even remove the joy! But my Name is just. *shrug*. And idk I just feel really. Sad? I guess? That if I made such a decision my parents wouldn’t,,,, like it? And. I dunno. I dunno
#bit of a rant#in my sad boy era#names#nonbinary#anyone else feel like this?#like their Name is just. not right#it feels like a sign of impending doom#tragedy if u will#its like if a bad omen weren’t cool as hell and instead quoth the raven ‘ur dead forever ur life is ruined’ yk#I feel like my body isn’t like. important#like. this is the vessel im in#yk#and i care kinda what it looks like but#generally it has no bearing on my life#beyond like#how it feels to be in it#so i dont… understand appearance based shit like ‘ooo u dont look like [name]’#or like#masculine/feminine#like i get the Vibes and Aesthetics#but fuck man who cares if the name has gendered vibes???? it’s a WORD#and why should other people have any opinion on what i call myself#ugrh#we should be like elves and like#traggy’s shit#change our named upon coming of age#that would fuck#rambles#kind of emotional shit sorry yall
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