#its legit made me feverish from the sheer stress its giving me
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#this fucking bpd episode is at its worst all bc im going emotionally haywire over fearing just.#fearing abandonment & being left behind fearing i’ll lose contact fearing. a lot of things & im so. fucking. tired. of myself. i’m so.#why cant i be fucking normal instead im fucking defective w my fucking abandonment fears instead i’m some fucking sort of freak who proves#that im still too much for anyone esp w my fucking attachment issues w ppl im friends with. its a miracle they tolerate me at all tbh.#im so afraid & it has not stopped it has not stopped it jas not stopped#& i just feel like some fucking obsessive freak who needs to be fucking put down for being the type whi gets way too fucking. attached. to#those that i happen to trust esp the more i trust em its just. i wish this would stop i hate feeling feverish#i hate feeling this way i really do#its legit made me feverish from the sheer stress its giving me#i hate having BPD it must be nice not fucking being fucking defective in your entire way of being.#it must be nice not being too much in fucking existence for everyone around you it must be nice not being fucking tolerable AT BEST
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