#its kind of eh but i wanted to use that song as a caption for something. siri send post

[yrlocalghost]

Will there be weeds or wildflowers when you're done?

[observantbystanderaroundtown]

Ken and I ate at the Cracker Barrel restaurant last night so I could use my coupon for two free dinners. If you’re not familiar with this restaurant chain, let me begin by saying that Cracker Barrel enjoys a cult following with the RV set; there are people who actually plan their vacation stops only in places where there is a Cracker Barrel restaurant nearby. In fact, Cracker Barrel provides special E-Z Find Cracker Barrel US road maps in their Old Country Store showing all their locations so you won’t miss any opportuninty to have some Hash-Brown Chicken, in case you get a hankerin’ on the road.

The interior decor is “Old Time Country”, meaning there are dozens of displays of old-timey do-dads like lanterns and farm implements and button hooks and linament bottles. The display next to our table seemed to have a theme of “Things With Which Folks Used To Use To Get Dressed”. An old man shuffling by our table stopped and pointed to the curling iron in the display and said to me “Know what that there thing is missy? That’s what girls used to use to curl their hair!” He seemed really pleased to be able to pass on this ancient knowledge to me and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that curling iron technology hadn’t really changed much in 75 years, except for the advent of electricity so you could now plug it in instead of holding it over an open flame, thus avoiding a nasty 3rd degree burn. The only other artifact of any interest to me was a tin of Shoe Dressing, which I imagine was some sort of flavor enhancer for shoe leather. I can imagine really poor Dust-Bowl families sitting around an open fire, cooking up shoe leather. Mom would pass around the Shoe Dressing, saying “Here you go Mandy Sue, put you some of this here on your piece of leather and it’ll be reeeeal tasty!”

The ambience of our dining experience was further enhanced by the piped in music which was a combination of Old Country Hits interspersed with Old Rock & Roll Hits, so you could hear Walkin’ The Floor (Over You), followed by Rock Around the Clock, which I found a bit disturbing. The decibel level was up there around Disco Level, probably for the benefit of the clientele which appeared to be in the Old Geezer age group. One Old Geezer was having a birthday, and the waitresses all gathered around his table and sang Happy Birthday to him. The nice thing was that it was the ACTUAL birthday song, sung in a nice, respectful way; not the hyped-up bizarro version sung at other restaurants by a frantically clapping waitstaff who all appear to be buzzed-out on crystal meth. I have often threatend Ken with permanent disfigurement if he EVER arranged to have Happy Birthday sung to me at a restaurant, but I probably woudn’t mind having the nice folks at Cracker Barrel do it.

The food was pretty good, and afterwards we browsed around in the Old Country Store where Ken became enraptured by a John Deere clock that makes a different tractor sound every hour. I found myself examining the display of Precious Moments collectibles. You know, the teardrop-eyed angel children in cutesy poses,with captions like Blooming in God’s Love or Some Bunny Loves You. I personally dislike this kind of diabetic coma-inducing sweetness and would prefer to see something different. Perhaps a figurine of a desperate-looking child looking skyward, with a caption that reads Don’t worry, God loves you even if your mom is a crack whore!

A quick check of my watch told me that I was about to miss Sex in the City – which I didn’t want to miss because it was going to be the episode where Samantha dyes her pubic hair, but she leaves the dye on too long and it ends up looking like a bright red clown’s wig – so I went to find Ken. He had found the 1:18 die cast car display and had EVERY SINGLE BOX pulled out so he could examine the cars individually. I could tell he wasn’t even close to being finished and could probably have spent another couple of hours marveling over each one, but I made him put them up anyway cause I wanted to see my TV show, dammit. We finally made it out of there but then Ken was distracted by the row of rocking chairs on the “front porch” of the restaurant, so he had to sit and rock a spell. “Boy, there’s just nothing like a wood rocker, eh?” he said wistfully. On the way home, we talked about rocking our kids to sleep when they were babies, and I realized that we’re not too far from Old Geezerville ourselves. Then I slapped myself a couple of times and took a silent vow never to become the kind of old lady who plans a vacation around the locations of a chain restaurant that features Hash Brown Chicken on its menu.

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “The Depths of Cousin Fethry!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Christian Magalhaes

Storyboard by: Stephanie Gonzaga, Vaughn Tada, Brandon Warren, Jason Zurek

Directed by: Matthew Humphreys

Not really that deep.

The episode begins with Huey nerding out over tree rings, and wanting Dewey to experience it. Bath be damned, he has to show him this amazing thing that only a nerd like him would be interested in. But why wouldn't he be interested, this tree managed to live through three leap years in a row! He then starts to lick the log to get resin samples, because that wouldn't be funny enough if he just used his fingers.

After that necessary scene, a can starts saying "brrring, ring ring ring" in a really annoying way. Scrooge and Donald, who show up only in this scene, tells the boys that this is just their "coo-coo bananas" Cousin Fethry. To discourage the boys from, Scrooge decides to tell them he lives in a deep-sea laboratory, and he likes to go on fool's errands that lead to unnecessarily dangerous adventures...

...and they’re already coerced Launchpad to steal Scrooge's submarine, singing that it's the "best waste of time ever". Huey immediately realizes once the theme song ends that they stole the submarine, and we immediately cut to the theme song. The best we get is that we hear Scrooge call Launchpad about why he's driving the submarine, and Dewey just takes the receiver, breaks it, and throws it on the ground.

Launchpad eventually reaches the lighthouse, bumping into it before parking right next to it to remind us that he's Launchpad, and a voice calls out to the boys to meet him at the top.

As for Launchpad, he hears the call of Oceanika, a siren who used to be his lover. Do not worry if you never heard of her, because I do not think you are supposed to. I am sure we'll cut back to him and whatever adventure he goes on.

After the boys, we finally get to see Fethry, showing off his anti-pirate decoy. Right from the beginning, the boys get to question this guy's sanity.

Dewey: Do you get a lot of pirates?

Fethry: Never! He’s that good.

Dewey: Eh.

The sad thing is that this is about as good as the humor surrounding him gets. In fact, they don’t even add a beat after this for the audience to laugh at it. I could say It’s a bit more dry than a lot of the humor in this show. Huh, this ocean-related episode is a bit dry. How ironic.

This is the animated debut of a character that I had no familiarity with before his name popped up in the upcoming episodes. Originally, I thought this was because I'm not that familiar with the Barks-era comics, but it's really because his origins are in the European Disney Duck comics.

I did a little research and found this image. I decided that was the best research I could do for this guy. I’m sure he had some other character traits, like his love for getting into the latest fads, but I could say this perfectly explains why Donald acts he way he did when his name is involved. One thing I can say is that he's not going to age the show by referencing a current fad. I mean, he's not into Gummi Bears Go or anything like that.

Turns out, he lives in the Sealab, long before 2020. Or 2021, for that matter. Actually, it's called the McDuck Sublab of the Future. The joke is that it was made in the past. Going down the Aqua-vator, man’s niftiest invention, they go to the McDuck Sublab of the Future. The joke is that it was made in the past.

There’s a joke about an outdoor jai alai court, which isn’t as popular as the indoor one. Because it’s a sport that involves bouncing a ball against a wall. Also, outdoors under the sea? I have a feeling they came up with this joke before the concept of this episode.

Meanwhile...okay, I guess it's not the time to say that yet. I'm sure we'll eventually see what Launchpad is doing, right? Fethry tries to show off the world's best kept secret: the ocean. I think the joke is that we're expecting him to talk about that amazing thing that he just saw. Huey and Dewey use this spotlight to try to find who could it be, this animal that Fethry did see. Can they help guess this mystery?

Unfortunately, the first thing the boys see is a blobfish. Instead, Huey and Dewey get scared by a blobfish. Fun fact: blobfish are only ugly like that when they're above water; their bodies are meant for the deep seas, and once they get out of it, they become that ugly. This show will not teach you that. Huey continues his defense of Fethry, and it's not just because he liked his hat. He argues that maybe he's an eccentric genius like all of those geniuses on TV...

...as he imitates this turtle and later imitates a shark! And then he disgustingly licks the radar, which totally justifies the log licking from earlier! Get it, he's weird, and Huey's weird because he's such a nerd! There's quite a bit more grossout in this episode than any other episode of DuckTales 2017, and it's not that great of a look on this show.

There’s also the occasional scene where he seems creepier than usual, possibly trying to instill in our minds that this guy is actually evil. I mean, why not, he's practically a stranger even if he is family. For example, once they get to the Tulley Observatory, Fethry gets out a crowbar, and for second he looks like he’s going to crowbar these poor children. But no, that never actually happens. Expectations subverted!

However, we do get to see tentacles squeezing all three of these characters thanks to Fethry's actions. Okay, these are actually giant sea worms, mutated from the toxic vents as Fethry explains. There's hints, and then there's outright giving away future plot twists, and this is squarely in the latter.

Fethry does have a plan because he's used to these worms: just convince the worms that they're not threatened, as they smell fear and are very happy to try to squeeze it out of them, by being affectionate towards them. See, it's completely nuts, but it ends up working as his compliment ends up loosening its grip. Huey does it, but Dewey doesn't seem to have a clue. Huey has to do something, and it ends up being...

...this. Yeaaah, I don't really have anything to say about this kiss scene. The other worm that's squeezing Dewey just gives up after this. I would, too.

We're finally get to see the crew, and if it wasn't for that kiss that is now etched in my memory, I would be just thinking to myself "it's not going to be people, it's not going to be people, it's not going to be people..."

Big surprise, it turns out to not be a crew of people Fethry could talk to and expect an audible answer. Instead, it's a crew of glow in the dark krill. Huey still believes he's a genius, even though Dewey points out he seems to be singing to them. Don't worry, there's a point later.

If one hasn't noticed, there is a duo dynamic here with the two nephews they use. Huey is still clinging on to what little respect he has, while Dewey is desperately trying to convince Huey to see the obvious. Dewey also sees something Dewey accuses Huey of being exactly the same as Fethry. They’re both nerds, they’re interested in things no ordinary kid would be interested in, and they both wear red caps that they never take off. They

Fun fact: this is actually an reference to his debut comic in Europe, where Fethry gave that exact explanation for why he always wears this hat. Okay, I did do more research. I also know he apparently wasn't very well liked among fans of the comics outside of Europe, which isn't that surprising. Speaking of which, Fethry is glad to be with a fellow “Chucker“.

Huey: I’m not that into the Junior Woodchucks. It’s more of a part-time hobby...

Unlike the original, the Junior Woodchuck is his one thing in the reboot that separates him from the others, so he’s clearly lying here. Before this becomes obvious, a large thud happens. They turn to Fethry, only for him to say "end of the line" in an ominous voice.

But it’s actually because some sort of monster cut it, as we see this shadowy colossus cut it down. My only guess for these “could he be evil” scenes is that DuckTales 2017 episodes tend to have outright villains, and I don’t feel like I’m giving anything away by saying this is not one of them. I mean, it is scary that these two kids are now stuck with this guy who’s clearly nuts…yeah, let’s try not to think about that too hard.

While getting into scuba gear, they have to swim across the vents. We do get to learn that Fethry’s “crew” may be a bunch of krill, but they are trained krill. All he has to do is sing a song to them, and he’s able to command them to do formations to help them towards the place to see all of those. See, the singing isn't him being nutso after all.

They finally get to Fethry's own living space. I didn't get a screenshot here, but there’s a ripped poster talking about the symptoms of Ocean Madness in the background. I feel like that's another hint towards a twist that never actually happens. Fethry directs the boys to the window where this amazing thing will show up, even overselling it by calling it an amazing creature. Mangatsika!

Do I even need to say what's going to happen next? He continues to delay the completely expected by asking them if they want a sandwich, but Huey and Dewey tell him to get on with it. They're practically echoing my sentiment, too.

NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Well, okay, there’s some krill that light up into the colors of the rainbow, continuing his utter obsession with krill, but that pretty much sums it up. This was the very kind of thing Scrooge warned the boys about.

Huey, on the last ounce of respect for the man, decides to outright ask Fethry if this is some sort of scientific breakthrough from a genius scientist. He responds that he just thinks it's cool looking, and says he's not even a scientist...he's just the janitor.

This is the last straw for Huey, and Dewey didn’t even have any straws to begin with. Anyone can get where this scene is going, especially when the sad music starts playing. Fethry walks towards the window, crestfallen that nobody really cared about his krill as the nephews decide to leave and tell him he won't be seen again in a really rude way that wouldn't be that unchararactistic of them. He then turns around and tells the boys that they're not going anywhere...

...because the giant monster is here. I am honestly surprised we never use this "could he be evil" gag inbetween commercial breaks. Honestly, that would have made this gag worse.

Meanwhil...oh, come on! We're still here? Yeah, there's no real B plot here, it's all A. Actually, it's a C plot so far, and that bell curve I use with these reviews isn't going to take kindly to that. Hint, hint. This is another case of "this adventure was just too cool to show you", and I'll detail that a little bit later in this review.

Huey is still going through the motions of the mistunderstanding scene, though. Even though we totally understand it. After a chase scene where they have to rush back to the aquavator while avoiding getting mutated by toxic fumes themselves, we get a scene where Huey accuses Fethry of leading them into an adventure that could get them killed. They never repaired that line, but that's not going to get the explanation.

What's worse is that the aquavator and the rest of the Sublab is getting torn apart. They're knee deep in ocean water. Suddenly, the bulb in the spotlights burns out, but don’t worry, just replace the bulb with the jar filled with the krill crew to it, and the glow ends up making the spotlight work again. Don't doubt the krill, I guess.

In the end, Huey ends up singing to it via the aquavator’s loudspeaker. Dewey says he must have gone sea-mad, while Fethry just stands there and realizes what's happening. It’s because the spotlight has proven that it’s just an oversiZed glow in the dark krill, mutated by those toxic vents.

While it seems like I'm just picking apart every flaw of this rather flawed episode, one part I can’t really fault is its sense of scale. At no point do we ever see this prawn's entire massive being in frame.

They get saved by the giant krill in the end, and Fethry ends up going away standing on its colossal figure in glory. Even better, Dewey gets to call it the Dewnificent Krilldebeast. Gag over.

There were similar patterns with some of the other characters, especially with the already mentioned Gladstone Gander. Also, Glandstone Gander didn't have to have random scenes where he looks evil because we already hate him.

Finally, right at the end of the episode, we see Launchpad. He must have had quite the interesting adventure than the rest of the cast. Again, I have to unfavorably to The House of Lucky Gander, because they did the exact same thing in that episode. He only sums it up with “sea stuff”.

All is well, Dewey even manages to accept that this wacky uncle was cool to be with. But what about telling Scrooge about the stolen submarine, and how his Sublab is now in ruins? Dewey has a plan for that, in the very last line of the episode.

Dewey: Let’s go home and convince uncle Scrooge this was Louie’s idea!

Yeah, remember that kid? He probably would have added nothing to the episode, but hey, a reminder that he existed.

How does it stack up?

Guy is nuts, nephews react with disgust, everything turns out well in the end. Rinse and repeat, add a cliched misunderstanding, and you get this episode. There are some neat touches, but in the grand scheme of DuckTales 2017 episodes. A lot of the problem stems around the fact that I just didn't find Fethry that funny.

Sure, it's still better than the worst of other cartoons, but this is the first time I put my foot down and give this rating. Alas, while they hoped it was the best waste of time ever, I honestly thought of only three of those words.

I'm sure there's people who would disagree with this assessment. I fought myself with earlier episodes to give this rating and ending up just giving them Neutrals. However, Terra-firmians had cool Lena scenes, and Other Bin is too important to the overal arc and I ended up liking some of the scenes I did not like after future viewings. This doesn't have any of that.

Next, we get to learn what happened to Flintheart Glomgold since The Shadow War. Okay, there’s only been two episodes in this season, but that does seem like a long time for this reboot.

← The Most Dangerous Game...Night! 🦆 The Ballad of Duke Baloney! →

[cheeseeatingtrashmonster]

House Arrest

Lukadrien Day 18: Locked Up. Thanks @lukadrienjune

(Read more is just because it’s a bit long, totally sfw)

Read the whole month on AO3

Adrien arrived at school the next day an anxious mess. What had he done? Was his father mad about Luka? How could he have even found out? Even if Nathalie had said something, up until five minutes before his father said he couldn't go anywhere anymore, there really wasn't much to tell. Something else, then? Did his father know about his Miraculous?

Adrien had barely slept, despite the comforting purring that Plagg had kept up most of the night to calm him down. He had been too stressed to answer most of Luka's texts. He didn't want Luka to worry about him, but he also didn't want to get his hopes up, so he said he had a good time but needed to go and spend the rest of the night avoiding looking at his phone.

Nino hadn't even reached their row of seats in the classroom before he was giving Adrien an excited update of their plan. "Dude, I got you a rickshaw and Alix said she has a backpack full of rose petals for some reason, so- bro, what happened to you?"

"We have to cancel the plan," Adrien said, slumping into his seat. "My dad said no going out with friends or to after school activities for a while."

"That sucks, dude! Why is he like this? Did he give a reason for the house arrest?" Nino threw an arm around Adrien's shoulder and tried to squeeze into him that this wasn't normal parental behavior.

"No reason. I don't know what I did."

"Then you probably didn't do anything wrong. This sucks."

"Thanks, Nino," Adrien said, leaning against him for a moment before slumping onto his desk, his arms folded under his head. Something else occurred to him, and he found himself burying a smile in his arms.

"I might not need the whole plan anyway," Adrien said. "I kissed him yesterday."

"What?" Nino almost dropped his phone as he turned to Adrien with a grin. "You didn't tell me this last night! We played video games together for almost two hours!"

"It was too new," Adrien said. "And I was trying to distract myself from the fact that I'm basically grounded."

"That's awesome though, dude! Was it nice? Did he like it? Wait, when did you even see him?"

Adrien told Nino about the photoshoot and the kiss in whispers until the teacher called class to a start. It cheered him up a little but school was long and Adrien was sad and it was too sunny outside to properly mope. Adrien's anxiety had spiked again by the time he got home for the day.

"How was your day?" Nathalie asked when they crossed paths in the kitchen. She didn't look up from her tablet.

"School was fine. I'm missing fencing right now."

"Your father said you needed some time off."

"But I'm going to fall behind," Adrien said. "What about Chinese lessons tomorrow? And I'm going to let the band down if I can't practice with them. What's going on, Nathalie?"

Nathalie put her tablet down and shut off the screen.

"You don't want time off."

It wasn't a question, it was a realization.

"I don't know why he did this, but it's not on my request," Adrien said.

Nathalie sighed. "I will do my best to find out why he did this. For now, don't worry about it. Let the band know you might miss a few practices but are doing your best at home, and I had already told your Chinese tutor that you needed time off."

"Thank you," Adrien said.

"You could have come to me with this, you know," Nathalie said.

"It was Sunday night and you were probably headed home when it happened," Adrien said. "And sometimes it's best to let Father forget things like this for a little while before asking again."

She nodded and picked her tablet back up. "I'll let you know what I find out."

Adrien went and practiced piano since he had finished his homework already. When he got bored of piano, he went to his room and watched anime while starting an essay that wasn't due for a few days. When he got bored of that, he started texting everyone he thought would respond. He was in the middle of flirting with Luka, theorizing about Ladybug's identity with Alya, and sending memes to Nino and Marinette when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," he called over his shoulder, assuming it was Nathalie. It wasn't a great assumption because that's how his father found him lying so that his head and arms hung off the couch with a picture of a dog with its head through a lawn chair captioned "It's called fashion, look it up" on his phone screen.

"Adrien? What are you doing?"

Adrien slid the rest of the way off the couch, shoved his phone in his pocket, and stood to face his father.

"I'm done with my homework and already practiced piano, so I didn't have anything to do," Adrien said, letting a little bit of his annoyance and fear out through passive aggression.

"Nathalie suggested that I speak with you."

They stood in silence, half a room apart, for a good minute before Gabriel sighed and gestured to the couch. They sat, both facing the TV screen as Gabriel finally started to talk.

"You have grown up faster than I could have ever imagined."

Adrien peeked at his father out of the corner of his eye. What did that have to do with anything?

"And I have missed much, I know. So it came as a surprise to me when one of the assistants at the photoshoot said that a blue haired boy had shown up and considerably improved your mood with his presence alone."

It was about Luka. Adrien felt like his chest was too small for his lungs, like his every muscle was preparing him to run, but he was frozen and unable to say a single word before Gabriel spoke again.

"I finally put together that bringing a friend home for dinner with your father might be a little more significant than just another meal." Gabriel turned to Adrien and put a hand on his shoulder. He never spoke of it to anyone, but the small flinch Adrien tried to suppress at his touch would be the biggest regret of his life. "I cancelled your after school activities because I felt I was missing too much of you growing up. This may have been misguided of me. Nathalie seems to think so, and she doesn't usually speak up unless she feels I really need to hear it. This was not intended as a punishment for you, but as a means to free up your time so we can connect again."

Adrien tried to figure out what this meant. It should have surprised him more that his father thought cancelling his activities without telling him why (and without setting up any time for the two of them to be together) was for the good of their relationship, not a punishment. But it wouldn't be the first time that Adrien had a completely different view of his father's actions than his father did.

"Adrien?" Gabriel asked, trying to be as still as possible so Adrien wouldn't flinch again. "Do you like this boy?"

He didn't flinch, but Adrien's eyes dropped to his knees immediately. "Yes," he whispered.

"And he's a good person? Kind, supportive, patient?"

"Yes," he said again, this time a little louder.

"He makes you happy?"

"He wrote me a song," Adrien said, smiling at his knees. "He keeps me from getting nervous before the band goes on stage. I didn't know I could feel this way, but it's so far beyond happy."

Gabriel gave his son's shoulder a squeeze.

"Then I'd like to meet him. Properly, this time."

"Okay," Adrien said. "I'll let him know."

They sat in awkward, but less tense silence for a moment until Gabriel cleared his throat and removed his hand.

"Nathalie seems to like him. That's usually a good sign. She's an excellent judge of character."

"Didn't Nathalie try to punch you when you met or something?"

Gabriel stood and looked down at his son. "She did not try, she succeeded. Like I said, she's a good judge of character."

Gabriel was almost to the door when Adrien turned to ask, "So, can I have my activities back?"

"I will work it out with Nathalie, but yes. I will arrange my own schedule better instead."

It was a promise Adrien had heard before, so he tried not to hope that this time it would really happen.

"Thank you, Father."

"I love you, Adrien."

Plagg flew out from under the couch when the door clicked closed. "See? All that worrying for nothing!"

"Not quite nothing," Adrien said. "If I hadn't bumped into Nathalie, this might have gone very differently. And if Father doesn't approve of Luka when he meets him again, that won't be good either."

"Eh, worry about that only if it happens, I say. I've got a plan, you text Luka and be all sappy and teenager-y and gross and then tell Nino the plan's back on, and I'll have some Camembert. Sound good?"

Adrien laughed. "Sounds good."

Adrien did just that, and when Nathalie found him hanging upside-down from the side of his bed to tell him his activities were back on, he was grinning again. And really, that was all Nathalie had been trying to do.

/*****/

[Two Hours Earlier]

"You can't lock him up forever." Nathalie hadn't even greeted Gabriel in his office.

"He needs a break, Nathalie. I'm not 'locking him up' at all," Gabriel had said. "We can spend more time together if he's home."

"You have cancelled sixteen of the last eighteen dinners you scheduled with him, sir. His availability is not the issue here."

"Fine, then we'll arrange my schedule as well."

"Right, sir. Does that mean you'll be putting the time you spend akumatizing on your calendar so I can help arrange it, or are you cutting into the time you spend on fashion?"

"You're treading a fine line, Nathalie," Gabriel said, frowning at his computer screen instead of at her.

"What is this really about, sir? What good does it do, keeping him from his friends?"

"They're distractions. He needs to focus on what's important."

"Why make him model in the rain? I know you won't use more than three or four of those shots."

"Merely an experiment."

"Why are you punishing the boy? What could he have possibly done?"

Gabriel hadn't noticed Nathalie getting closer as she interrogated him. When her hand reached over to shut off his computer screen, he was surprised she wasn't still across the room.

"Why, sir?"

"Did you know about this Couffaine boy?"

"You're punishing him for having a friend?" Nathalie was very close, and the urge to back away from her was growing.

"I'm punishing him for hiding this from me. I realized what it meant that he made me sit through dinner with that boy who barely spoke. He likes the boy enough to bring him home, but not to tell me why? He likes him enough to make it through that miserable photoshoot, but not enough to bring him inside and say hello?"

"Are you punishing him for growing up? Or are you punishing him because you've made him fear you, fear letting you into-"

"My son does not fear me, Nathalie!" He roared this at her, leaning in to try and-

To try and scare her.

This was ridiculous, because scaring Nathalie wasn't difficult. But if that was how he tried to control her... was that what he did with Adrien too? Could she be right?

Gabriel turned so his back was to Nathalie, hiding his expression from her.

Nathalie knew there was a good chance that Gabriel would turn his anger from his son to her. But Adrien was a child, and powerless. Nathalie was scared, but still had a few cards left to play.

"Then go speak to him. Let him know that he has nothing to fear."

Gabriel pretended to glance at his watch before saying, "It's late enough. You're dismissed for the day."

"Yes, sir."

[zakubabbles]

Just mindless and unstructured rambles.

A bit of context, I watched it with my mom and bro yesterday evening in Spanish and it was a very difficult watch. The music was much louder than the singing, and since this is a musical in which most of the exposition is in songs, we didn't know exactly what was going on. And the file we watched didn't have any captioning/subtitles to help. Also, why do they cast children with super high pitched voices omgwhataretheysaying?! Then I watched it in English which had better audio, and things made more sense.

Aside from that, it is very pretty! Colorful, lovely character designs, a variety of shapes and colors and just *chef kiss*. Seriously, it's wonderful to see so much variety in people! How often do you see afro-latines?! Songs were interesting. I definitely had a preference over the more "traditional" sounding ones to the more contemporary Broadway styled songs.

Animation is lovely, but personal peeve, I hate that super sharp and fast cutting movements Disney uses in their CGI to express what I can only think of as a modern take on slapstick. Another peeve, you know that meme about Dreamworks characters doing that devilish grin with one eyebrow raised? Disney has the equivalent with that half cheeky smile. It bothers me so much. I can't unsee it. It's not bad. It's not important to any of the Disney cg animated films, I just don't like it XDD

The story? It's... look, I'm not the best at explaining why stories don't hit with me because I'm not a writer or film critic and don't have the vocabulary for these things, but it just felt unfinished? Build up without payoff? Deviation? Confusing? Underdeveloped? It felt like something I would write and that's not a compliment. It felt like when I start writing something with a set goal and it deviates into other things and I loose focus and try to reign it in, but by then it's a bit stretched and lost its substance and there was suppose to be moral in there somewhere but it got lost? Honestly? I just don't think Disney is very good at telling stories anymore. Kind of hit or miss, and I think this one was a miss? But maybe I feel like that because my first watchthrough was confusing because of the audio.

SPOILERS

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I think they should have made the grandma much more demanding and colder. I guess they were trying to make it all be a surprise making you think she was just a soft and loving grandma being hard on Mirabel for not having a gift, but oh no, surprise, she's actually very demanding of everyone except not really it's just Mirabel's sisters, Luisa and Isabela, that have that burden of perfection and having to be strong enough while the other relatives relationship with the grandma aren't really explored? And even Luisa and Isabela just tell you that in one little song. And Isabela and Mirabel's relationship is ... eh? Oh, they can't stand each other! Oh, the miracle is saved by hugging each other! Oh, how difficult that will be, guys, because, you know, they don't like each other, because, you know, we just told you and kinda showed it a little bit here and there. Also, I'm annoyed by how vague the "miracle" is. It feels like a buzzword most of the time. Also also, for how much grandma goes on and on about how their gifts are important because they help the community only two really help out in the village. Luisa with her strength and Julieta with her food healing powers. Isabela makes it pretty with flowers? Would have liked more showcasing of how instrumental and dependent the community is on them.

And something that I didn't even consider because I haven't personally experienced but is totally on point is what a friend said. It's a toxic family dynamic and the whole forgive and move on thing is, while totally on brand, painful for people who've gone through it.

.

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All in all, it's pretty, glad I watched it, but wanted something better. No idea if any of this makes sense so sorry.

OH! Also! I wish this was a little more about Colombian culture and/or lore? Colombia is just the setting. Wish it was a little more pertinent to the story.

Just watched Encanto twice in a row and still trying to figure out what I think of it.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Not Vibing + Nostalgia | Doing the Write Thing #47

Dudes. My writing life has just been so weird lately.

I’m not really vibing with this book right now. I don't know why. Kind of a bummer, but it happens. That’s okay. The important part is, I’ve been writing. Though to put it out there, I’m in an editing + outlining mood. Not a drafting mood. Does anyone else feel that way too sometimes? I mean, editing and outlining are still SO important, but for some reason, my stubborn brain refuses to believe I’m being productive if I’m not writing. Even if I’m outlining a million chapters a day, I still can’t feel content with my productivity. It’s weird. But yeah, anyway. Not vibing with you, FOSTERED #5. Not vibing.

THAT’S OKAY THOUGH.

Don’t know if I’m going to have much time to vibe beyond today and tomorrow because GUESS WHO’S DRIVING FROM TORONTO TO PENNSYLVANIA THURSDAY TO SEE PRECIOUS KID.

(when ur brother took that photo cuz both ur brothers already met the band for u because ur brothers happened to be on tour in California cuz ur brothers happen to be in a band, and also didn't happen to have a show that day so they drove like 2 hours just to meet the band for u and ur sister cuz ur brothers are great even tho like don't tell ur brothers cuz ew brothers.)

(when u made that poster Justine [middle] is holding with ur sister [u did the lettering] and ur brothers got the band to sign copies for u ur sister and ur best friend and they do and r like the sweetest people ever)

(when u find out precious kid is having a show in Pennsylvania and even tho its a 7 hour drive ur brothers and mom decide to take u becuz u have the best family ever)

Also, going to Mexico from next Monday to Friday with the family. So my life looks like this:

Thursday: wake up really early and drive all the way to Pennsylvania. Watch Precious Kid show. Faint.

Also Thursday: drive to grandparents’ house and sleep there.

Friday: drive all the way back home.

Saturday: RELAXXXXX

Sunday: Pack. Also. Don’t panic. You’re going on a plane. But don’t panic.

(this is going to be really hard lol.)

(I’ll try)

(I’ve gone on a plane before no problem)

(Except now I’ve got anxiety (TM))

(rip)

Monday: Get up at like 2AM (so basically just don’t sleep the night before), go to airport, get on plane, go to Mexico.

Rest of the week: Enjoy Mexico fams.

Friday (or whenever we come back I don't know things I just go as things go): hello back home Toronto school starts soon BUT ALSO YOU’RE SEEING SURF CURSE IN LIKE 10 DAYS AND MAYBE GET TO MEET THEM AND ALSO DAUGHTER RELEASES A 13 SONG ALBUM TWO DAYS LATER.

HONESTLY JUST FREAKING LIVE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE LOOK AT ALL THE AWESOME SHIT THAT HAPPENS.

Anyway onto the update.

Daily word count goal: 250

Words written: 789

Total word count: 120 981

Total page count: 219

Songs played: SO I don't think I wrote with music, but I have a couple things to say in regards to music.

Like I mentioned one of my ALL TIME favourite bands (right behind The Strokes, like SO close behind The Strokes sort of) Daughter, is releasing a new album on September 1st. I about died. I talked to @sssoto​ about this after noticing they posted an ominous uncaptioned photo yesterday, and I can’t believe it actually happened.

It’s actually a score to the new Life Is Strange video game, but GUYS. Daughter just released their second album at the very start of 2016, and I don't think anyone was expecting them to release something so huge so soon. I’ve been screaming all day because of this news if you know what I mean. ;)

So punny.

They released one of the songs off the album today called Burn It Down, and I’m just going to leave it here because I'm afraid I’ll just type in all caps like OMG GUYZ ITS SO GOODZ so to avoid embarrassing myself:

The lyrics are absolutely amazing. I adore everything Daughter because Elena writes every lyric with such care and has such amazing word choice. Honestly look at me being a writer commenting on word choice in lyrics. ;) I can’t help it. She’s honestly an amazing lyricist.

Here’s some of my faves from the song:

Always said I was a good kid Always said I had a way with words Never knew I could be speechless Don't know how I'll ever break this

And there’s:

Now the world is only white noise Frequencies that I can't understand

NOW THE WORLD IS ONLY WHITE NOISE LIKE WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT.

(See what I mean. She writes with so much care but it doesn't seem forced. Writing goals. Also so sorry if Igor or Remi or someone else also penned these lyrics as well, lol. I love you too.)

I'll set fire to the whole place I don't even care about our house

!!!!!!!

So I got a little carried away there. Daughter is greatness.

Let’s just get carried away more, shall we?

So Surf Curse released their second album Nothing Yet this year. I’m a chronological music listener, so if I like a band, I have to like them A LOT because I buy every album and listen to them in order. I’m not a single song listener. Like, there are so many single songs I love from other bands but I’m such an awful music listener, I won’t listen to them until I fall in love. Basically, any band I listen to is a favourite band.

(I’m so sorry, I’d love music recs though if you have any. I genuinely do love when people do that. :) I apologize for my weird music habits though. Genuinely don't know what’s up with that, lol.)

My point was, I finally got Nothing Yet. My sister, best friend and I (with my brotherz cuz lol) are going to see them, and obviously they’re going to play songs from this album. I’ll admit, this album doesn't have the classic ‘Surf Curse’ sound, but I’m so down for Nothing Yet.

Nothing Yet is a lot more indie than punk but aaaaahahhahaha guess who’s living for it.

Favourite songs so far (I’ve only listened to it once full through since I just got it but): Falling Apart, All Is Lost, Nostalgia, Sleeping, and Christine F.

This isn’t related at all to my writing session tonight but.

Things to know: I’m not having as much fun as I should be? I’m writing a Lonan Clark Interrogation Scene (TM) [they’ve happened so many times because this boy is such a savage at this point they’re like recurring episodes looooool], but eh. Content is fine, but I’m not vibing. You catch my drift? Did I just say catch my drift.

How I felt: Is it terrible if I say bored. Sorry Lonan. dkm. (This is a me thing. It’s literally a great scene, and I’m just sitting there like yahhhhh no.)

Bad haiku to describe writing session: Boredom is not good / Especially when the scene / Is kinda good yeah

Rating of writing session out of 10 and why: 6.5 because of the above :(

On a scale from 1-10 my level of stoked-ness is: also a 6.5

Lyrics to describe writing session: He wants it easy; he want it relaxed / Said I can do a lot of things, but I can't do that / Two steps forward, then three steps back

--The End Has No End, The Strokes (Room On Fire)

I can promise you I’ve used these lyrics before but honestly me. I want it easyyyyyyyy I want it relaxed said I can do a lot of things but I can’t do thaaaaaaaat.

GIF to describe writing session:

*AND THAT OVER THERE IS RACHEL’S MOTIVATION FLOATING FAR, FAR AWAY!*

Thank you Julian. You always believe in me.

Excerpt:

How about some savage Lonan dialogue.

“I really have to tell you the truth?”

“Unless you want your brain matter to paint a Picasso on the wall behind you, I’d suggest so.”

(lonan is the second person)

(I should make that clear but I don't really need to cuz I have tags before this + context but)

“This could take as little as a half hour if you stick to the facts and stop with your bullshit, but seeming as though doing so is impossible for you, I’ll settle for two hours. Understood?”

honestly is he talking to me in this last one. because this scene could literally take me as little as a half hour if I stuck to the facts and stopped with my bullshit but it seems as though doing so is impossible for me so I’m settling for two.

(We all have off days. It’s okay.)

(It’s funny though because I don’t really have writer’s block. I know exactly what needs to happen but every time I try to write I'm like oh this is torture what are words.)

(This happened yesterday too. When I re-read what I wrote, it was fine, but it’s taking a long time to put together! Which is fine. Honestly, that happens sometimes. :))

So that’s it for the writing update! That’s actually not it though! So before I really started blogging, a few really special people in my life did some really amazingly sweet things for the FOSTERED books (+ I’M DISAPPOINTED), and I wanted to stroll down memory lane and talk about it.

EDIT: So I just took 3 hours to find all of these images. I had to scroll through my Instagram which has over 2000 photos on it... Like sometimes I wish I could go back and tell my 12 year old self that literally no one cares but alas. I’ve blurred all handles etc out because my (and everyone else mentioned here) Instagram is private, sooo that’s exclusive to friends and family.

Without further ado, I bring to you, NOSTALGIA. To preface, these were all from 2014/2015. So no judgements. lol. Excuse how lame I am in these captions. Honestly. Also: I hope this doesn't come across like I’m boasting about things people have done for me as that’s not what I’m intending at all. I just want to share the love and kind of thank the people who did all this stuff for me one more time because honestly, every single thing I received genuinely touched me, and everything I receive now continues to touch me. It makes me really happy thinking about all this stuff, so I thought I’d share the good vibes. :)

1. I’M DISAPPOINTED cast fanart

So @sarahkelsiwrites​ drew these guys for me in 2015. I mean let’s just give a shout out to Ben. (Her art doesn't look like this anymore lol. So sorry Sarah.)

2. My first Twitter banner

Do I need to explain this one.

Also, that ain’t my handle anymore wut kind of.

(i’m now @ rachellwrites)

(but I don't use my twitter for anything besides reblogging precious kid tweets so there’s a warning)

3. Ashley’s Foster comment legacy + Sarah and quinoa

I mean. Sarah’s profile picture was legit an avatar she made of Harrison through an app or something.

4. Fetus Loner angst tho I didn't know he was angsty

It’s almost three years later and The Emotional Loner Chronicles is now running its 12th million season ft melancholy and angst

5. Ashley’s Foster comment legacy lives on

6. Fosever foreverrrrr

Sarah made me this really awesome plastic thing with perler beads to commemorate Fosever (MC + love interest aka foster + reeve) and I can’t get over how cool this thing is... It’s been a while (like a year) since I’ve seen it, but it’s lying around somewhere, and it’s incredibly cool. It actually attaches together. Thanks @sarahkelsiwrites!​

7. @sarahkelsiwrites​‘ early Reeve fanart

sarah’s going to kill me for putting this on here lol. Honestly though at the time I literally freaked. She drew it for me when she was at home sick, and it’s just so thoughtful and adorable lol.

8. Ashley’s cliffolution

@imdisappointed​ (Ashley) is the best best friend I could ask for. Bah.

9. Making paper cranes with Ashley

Ashley was actually the one who helped me make all the paper cranes on the newer edition of the FOSTERED books. She posted this when we were done, and I still can’t stop laughing.

10. I’M DISAPPOINTED love

this is just so sweet, lol. bah.

11. Clifford fanart by Sarah + caption

Sarah drew this portrait of Clifford a very long time ago, but it still remains one of my favourite things ever.

12. Sarah and Lonan clash heads a lot 

Do I need to explain this one other than the fact that @sarahkelsiwrites​ literally calls the FOSTERED books Harrison Palooza.

13. The Harrison Chair

Here’s a really cringy old excerpt from book three that explains why Sarah posted about a chair in a hotel room ignore the literal terrible writing :

“She’s in Texas?” I blurt, turning around on the spinning chair. Harrison stares at me for another second like he’s contemplating some evil plan, walks up to me, lifts me out of the chair, sets me on the bed, then takes a seat in it himself. “Oh yeah…” he mumbles. “So much fucking better…” “Harrison!”   “Jesus, this is so much fucking better…” he moans, rubbing a hand over his face. “What the hell was that for?” I growl, crossing my arms over my chest, cocking an eyebrow up at him. He sighs before deflating completely in the chair, answering me with his eyes closed. “For sitting your fat ass in my chair.” He grumbles, soon demanding Foster go turn on the coffee machine.

I talked to her about this recently, and apparently she still gets mad over this. Oh boy.

14. Lonan and his Quest bars

This is actually my own comment but I’m sharing because this is just too good.

15. I don't even know what’s going on but Harrison.

@sarahkelsiwrites and her pro Harrison edits. I just love the font choice in this.

16. Sarah makes Reeve a birthday cake

This was so cute, and I actually forgot this happened until I found this post again super recently!

17. Cousin retrieves a cup with the word Foster just to show me

This was years ago, but I think it’s just really adorable? I think it’s so sweet that she went out of her way to get it. Honestly. I can’t gush because I’m just eklsblwkanelfkn feelings.

18. Ris cover from the trash

This picture was actually what pushed me to make this post because my cousin and I just talked about this a few days ago! She told me she looked through the trash for weeks to find this thing because it looked like it said RIS and lol honestly I just... That’s so funny and thoughtful and plain adorable cuz I know I wouldn’t search through the trash for Harrison (leave him where he belongssss), but she did and that’s just bahhhh. So thank you Becca. for literally going out of your way to retrieve two pieces of trash with my characters’ names on it because if that isn’t their aesthetic, I don’t know what is.

19. Sarah’s emojis

lol. I cri.

20. Greek god.

I can’t help but laugh so hard every time I see this. HAHAHAHAHA.

So that’s it! I talked about birthday cakes etc, before, so I didn’t include them in this round. But honestly, all of these things mean so much to me... I wish I could project my gratitude a little more eloquently, but I’m so happy these three wonderful people are in my life, and thought of my book and liked it enough to take their own time to make things for it.

Most of this was all a couple years ago, like I mentioned, but I still love all of these things now. Thanks so much for letting me share them with you! I hope you guys enjoyed this post. :) I’ll see you in the next one!

--Rachel

[meredithannebull]

Strange Magic Tumblr Contest entry

It was November 2014, and I was folding laundry at my dad’s house when I first became aware of Strange Magic’s existence.  I saw a TV spot for it during a commercial break and…

I was not impressed.

There wasn’t a single thing I found to be the slightest bit interesting.  I was never into fairies to begin with, and what looked like a swashbuckling Tinker Bell movie without Tinker Bell did not appeal to me on any level.  Not even George Lucas’s name was a draw.  It just seemed boring, and every time I happened to see another TV spot over the next few weeks, I just rolled my eyes and ignored it.

Until February of the following year, I had forgotten all about it, but then one day, I came across something that caught my attention.  It was a leaked screencap of Bog and Marianne with a spoiler caption: they had kissed at the end of the film. 

That gave me pause.

I did remember seeing Bog and Marianne dueling in the TV spot, but due to the editing, there had been no hint to a romance between them.  Suddenly, my interest was stirred.  Beauty and the Beast tropes were my bread and butter, so I decided to do a little research.  Sadly, I found that the film had done terribly at the box office and had been torn apart by the critics, yet my curiosity persisted.  I was freshly out of school, so I used part of my new extra time to finally see Strange Magic for myself.

It was a Wednesday matinee, and I had the whole showing to myself.  And boy, was it something.  Can I honestly say I loved it after my first viewing? 

Eh, no.

The pacing, some of the dialogue, the sometimes-awkward song placement, etc.  It had me sinking down in my seat. 

But when I left the theater and sat in my car, I got to thinking:

Good Lord!  After not even two minutes in, it dawned on me just how badly this movie was marketed.  I quite literally had NO IDEA that it was a musical, let alone a jukebox musical, until the opening scene!  The TV spots were the ONLY advertising I’d seen for it!  And the ‘teases’ they gave in those spots were not even close to the actual plot! (e.g. Bog wanting to take over the forest? Say what?)  I had not been prepared for this film!

Then I took a step back and thought about the things I actually liked about it.  The animation? Gorgeous!  The characters?  Enjoyable!  The setting?  Cute and creative?  The humor?  When it was on point, it was on point!  The music?  The songs choices were great and all sung very well.  The story?  A bit rushed, but intriguing and sweet.  My favorite part?

Hands down, Bog and Marianne’s romantic flight!

For the life of me, I just could not get that scene out of my head!  It was just…flawless!  The cover of ELO’s Strange Magic gave me chills!  And that’s coming from someone who grew up listening to the original version; ELO was my dad’s favorite band in high school.  Plus, Bog and Marianne’s enemies-to-lovers relationship was just beautiful!  So beautiful in fact, I had to see it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Believe it or not, I saw the movie sixteen times on the big screen, twice at full price, the rest at the dollar theater over the next two months.  I had never EVER gone to see a film that much before.  And I couldn’t really explain why.  It was as if I under a spell!  All I knew was that the more I saw it, the more I liked it; the more of those things that initially made me cringe began to disappear altogether.  I soon got the soundtrack and was singing along to it in my car, I preordered the DVD, I took my friends to see it with me…

But it wasn’t enough.

I’d never really delved too deep into online fandoms.  Sure, I would read my share of fanfics and bookmark fanart, and I had written some fiction for Labyrinth, but for Strange Magic, I just had to see if there were other people out there who felt love for this film the way I did. 

And thankfully, there were.

The tiny, but strong and loving Strange Magic fandom was nestled on Tumblr, and for several weeks, I scrolled through the tags, reading all the amazing fanfiction and head canons, looking at fanart and gifs, getting more and more hooked, until one day, I took the plunge and joined the site close to a month before the DVD release.

I was even further amazed at how my desire to write came back.  I hadn’t written any fanfiction in over a year, but suddenly, I was inspired again, and remain so to this day!  Not only that, but I taught myself how to use simple editing software and was soon making my own gifs and even music videos! 

As for the fandom, my God.  What can I say?  What a blessing it has been to get to know so many kind-hearted, accepting, supportive, talented, incredible people!  To be able to call them friends!  I love each and every one of them.  And even though I only use my blog for Strange Magic content, this fandom is my virtual home away from home.  We may be small, but we’re a family, and slowly but surely, we’re growing every day.   

So, here we are in April 2017.  After all this time and all these changes, why do I love Strange Magic? 

Well…because Strange Magic is love.  I don’t just mean the story or the message.  I mean that its very existence represents love itself better than any other movie I’ve ever seen. 

1.) Intentional or not, the fact this film wasn’t marketed well made it seem more honest.  Just a fun, innocent romp, rather than a Hollywood cash grab.  

2.) Though I know the flaws are still there, I don’t even notice them anymore when I watch the movie today.  They don’t matter.  They’re part of what makes the movie what it is. 

3.) The film reawakened and is still sustaining my creativity.  It prompted me to try new things, to learn, to reach out.  And not just me!  So many others in the fandom could say something similar for themselves! 

Strange Magic was a simple, unassuming movie that nearly passed under my radar, but all it needed was one fair chance.  It has the qualities that I believe one would look for in, to the quote the movie: “real love”:

Love isn’t about perfection, it’s not gaudy, and it’s not trying to sell you something.  Love is about accepting imperfections, about bettering yourself, opening up to others.  And lastly, love is…just something you can’t thoroughly explain.  It’s magic!  I couldn’t possibly go through scene by scene and describe what makes Strange Magic so great to someone who hates it or has never seen it before.  Some people see it, others don’t.  Understanding love is different for everyone.  That’s life.  I’m just glad that my fandom friends and I all fall into the first category! 

On a final note, I’m happy that the film is gradually getting more attention.  Whether we show it to new people ourselves, or the Disney channel keeps airing it, that exposure is priceless.  Some reactions will be negative and rude, but that’s not important.  It’s the positive ones that make it all worthwhile because it means we’re ‘spreading the lofe’.  And anything that spreads the most powerful force on earth, is a forever and true masterpiece.     

 --- magically-strange

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: An Experimental Book Tests Our Ability to Perceive Multiple Mediums Simultaneously

Pages from Nicolas Jaar’s Network (courtesy Nicolas Jaar/Printed Matter)

Living up to its name, the book Network, a project by Chilean electronic musician Nicolas Jaar co-published by Printed Matter and Other People, can be opened at pretty much any point and read — if reading is even what you call it. Upon opening the book I saw a series of onomatopoeias, several pages featuring blocky text about wealth, a full-page spread of two hand-drawn Xs, some already filled out crosswords, multiple internet windows, and words arranged like numbers on a spreadsheet. Whatever you want call this, reading with Jaar is more akin to a cross between an art experience and solving a book of logic puzzles. Or seeing, hearing and reading simultaneously.

Or failing to do so entirely.

That failure defines the central structure of the book, which is a series of experiments that test our ability to simultaneously perceive more than one medium, or to interpret more than one ambiguous image. In addition to the hundreds of pages of free-verse text, Jaar includes black-and-white posters advertising shows from his series of semi-fictional online radio stations along with three short, text-based works from graphic designer Linda van Deursen, artist and provocateur Lydia Lunch, and the musician himself.

Together, the puzzles, rhythms, and words of Network read as a meditation on the success and failure of our current social, political, and economic structures. How Jaar got to that point, though, involves a bit of backstory. Jaar began the project as a radio play for a BBC commission, but when the play turned into an experiment making alien sound energy for a fake DJ, the network jumped ship. Jaar decided to finish the project on his own; in the end, it took the form of a book and a website hosting 111 radio stations with fixed loops of his own DJing and mock talk radio. Graphic designers Jena Myung and Maziyar Pahlevan worked with Jaar to draw text from show transcripts and use it in the book.

The result feels a bit like browsing an analog Internet, where memes mutate into free-verse poetry, while simultaneously channel-surfing noise radio stations. Catching a wave of thought can feel exhilarating and powerful, but just as often the organization of the book feels too chaotic to make sense of anything. It was several days before I even realized the three essays in the book were each only a few pages long, rather than making up entire sections.

As a reflection of the current mood, the book can feel eerily accurate. Columns and fonts of varying size and weight add a level of anxiety and confusion to even flipping through its pages. So do the anti-Trump, anti-income-inequality themes. In one spread, we see a play on the Trump/Pence “Make America Great Again” logo that transforms the words into the shape of a flag with the slogan “Jump the Fence.” Another consists of a list of billionaires that did not make the Forbes 100 list because their net worth was too low. Still another reads simply: “I feel a little helpless.”

As confusing as all this sounds, the book also offers ways to opt out of the culture. Don’t like what you see? There’s an “x” in the corner of some pages suggesting you can simply close the window. Or you can skip to another page. You won’t miss anything, and — unlike the Internet’s unreliable archives — the text will still be there when you return.

Pages fromNetwork (image courtesy Nicolas Jaar/Printed Matter)

For me, the most compelling aspects of the book were those that used optical illusions and text puns like the Trump/Pence logo. They read like the kind of secret messages people once thought you could find on records if you played them backwards. In one instance the words “Don’t you wish you could listen to both at the exact same time” alert the reader to a construction on the following page. That page consists of a poster, advertising one of Jaar’s radio stations, that features the stacked words “LIVE GAZA.” Each letter of the word is made by repeating the letter in the word above or beneath it, thus creating “GAZA LIVE.” As with the famous “vase or face” perception puzzle, it’s impossible to read “LIVE GAZA” and “GAZA LIVE” at the same time: the brain can see both, but it can’t process them simultaneously.

But “Don’t you wish you could listen to both at the exact same time?” also alludes to the radio station itself. When I visited the station online (#219), I found a series of short news items about a Gaza zoo that painted their donkeys to look like zebras after they died of neglect in the Israel/Palestine conflict. “Children treat the donkeys with less respect than an actual zebra,” reported one journalist. I switched channels.

Station #69. The sound of a flag in the wind. Station #153. Beatles songs, but with a LOL ticker running above. Station #93. A long documentary on how economy of “the self” lead to pervasive belief that satisfaction of our individual needs and desires should be our highest priority.

There’s a corresponding poster for each of these stations peppered throughout the book, but it remains unclear what text was drawn from which poster, and mapping that out seems beside the point. It’s just one piece of a network that doesn’t rely on any single page in order to work.

Even Jaar’s three-page essay midway through the book could have been removed, and the book would still stand on its own. It would have suffered without that essay, though, as it does the best job of expressing the book’s core concept. Jaar writes, “When and if human “x” looked into the eyes of human “y” then x with two eyes saw only one eye of y.”

The essay goes on to tie this relationship to rhythm, (and visual relationships), but the base point is this: we only have the ability to perceive one thing at a time — an idea significant enough that it’s repeated throughout Network and even gets a nod on the book’s cover (“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII see eee eee too”). That phrase is drawn from text later in the essay and is part of a larger imagined conversation. “What if we just had one eye?” it reads, “It’s surely good to have two eyes. One eye says to the other: eye, I see too.” As I understand it, the message is an address from one eye to the other, informing it that there are two eyes seeing. Spoken, though, it could mean any number of things beyond the original reading. “Yes, I see two” or “Yes, I see too”, or “Eye, I see too.”

All this resembles wordplay, but for me, it illustrates how much more mutable words are when they are said aloud versus written down. In the context of business, this slippery definition might have me decide that written communication is more reliable. In the world of sound, I might conclude that there’s far more room for creativity. In the world of politics, it reads “Watch your back.”

Network doesn’t offer solutions for synthesizing these worlds, but it does suggest that we might be able to draw meaning from pre-existing relationships. For example, Linda van Deursen’s visual essay uses two side-by-side columns with images, captions, and text to focus on linguistic play as it pertains to agriculture, radio communication and its relationship to authoritarian rule. On one side, we read about how broadcasting is considered the most economical method of applying seed to large areas of land. On another we read about how, in the mid 1920s the USSR started producing street radio speakers that anyone could use for the purpose of broadcasting. Ideas need tending to grow.

As an exercise, van Deursen took enough pains to make sure her narratives never completed themselves too easily that I could write an entire piece on her essay alone. It was thoughtful.  Lydia Lunch, the book’s final contributor, did not manage this, offering only a long, stream-of-consciousness rant. Everything is terrible: the offense of Kim Kardashian’s selfies, the constant surveillance of citizens, an election that gave us no one to vote for last November because Hillary Clinton is friends with Henry Kissinger. Lunch’s tirade was clearly written prior to Trump’s inauguration, but it would have been just as unmoored then. Unlike Donald Trump, Clinton isn’t friends with Russian President Vladimir Putin, who continues to undermine the electoral process and destabilize the NATO alliance. But potato potahto, right?

Pages from Network (photo by Paddy Johnson for Hyperallergic)

Eh. I immediately worried that complaining about politics is petty in a book as thoughtful as Jaar’s. I didn’t need to go there. But, such is the nature of our present political climate, where no differing opinion goes unrefuted. No one is immune: not me, not Lydia Lunch, and not Jaar. And there are real reasons for this. Vast income inequality, widespread corruption, and weakened democracies threaten everyone’s well-being. We’re scared, we’re tired and we don’t have the patience to hear any more bad ideas. The book seems to implicitly acknowledge this unpleasant physiological peculiarity through pages of splintered text. “Listen. So many arguments not worth having,” reads a blurb of text early on — only to later have Lunch dive in. There’s always someone who can’t resist.

Which may be why the rant is followed by spreads of quietly undulating single-color pages. At first, this section seemed out of place and superfluous, but every time I needed a break, I’d end up back there. It’s the one place in the book where every sense a reader has isn’t being taxed, and it’s a relief. “I see a color or two,” I thought as I paged through the book. That felt like more than enough.

The post An Experimental Book Tests Our Ability to Perceive Multiple Mediums Simultaneously appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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We want to give country music fans an inside look to life on the road. While it may seem fun and glamorous, there is a lot to be done before, during, and after each show. From concessions to meet and greets, and trash cleanup, it takes teams of people to put on a smooth, successful country music concert. We’ve teamed up with some of our country music industry friends to present you with a new monthly, behind the scenes Q&A series.

First up on the Country Clones Blog is Ethan Helms. This Mississippi born, now Nashville resident, is currently on tour and taking photos with Luke Bryan. He works with KP Entertainment, who in addition to managing Luke Bryan, also manages country artists like, Adam Craig, Jon Langston, and Cole Swindell (check out some of their songs featured in our monthly Record Roundups).

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Q&A | Ethan Helms

Country Clones [CC] | What is a typical day like on the road for you? Ethan Helms [EH] | If I can make myself get up early enough, I’ll try to get a workout in. It probably doesn’t happen as often as it should, though! Once our production office backstage is set up, I’ll go there and set my computer up and go through the photos I took from the night before and start editing. I’ll take almost a thousand photos each show, narrow those down to 30-40, edit them, then narrow down again to 15-30. If there are things that need to be done for the other artists that we work with (I.e. designing a graphic for their or shooting and editing a video for their socials) I do that. Afterwards, our Assistant Tour Manager, Mike, and I set up the backstage vibe room. This room is designated for any personal guests and music industry people we have at the show that night, so they have a place to hang. After lunch on the road, I go out and hide tickets to that night’s show for a scavenger hunt through Luke Bryan’s Snapchat. I love seeing the reaction of the fans that find them! After the tickets have been found, the Record Label Rep who works with the radio stations we have coming to the show gets to the venue – I give them the credentials for their radio people, and show them where the radio room and meet and greet are. Once Luke starts doing his meet and greets and radio hangs, I sometimes go with him to capture that for content to be posted in the official Luke Bryan App. Once he hits the stage, I’m in full photography mode, running all over the place trying to get as many photos I can. When the show is over, everything gets taken down, we pack up, and head to the next city we’re playing or go home to Nashville.

CC |  What do you enjoy most about your job? EH | The people I work with. I know it’s cliché, but we really are a family. We hang out even when we’re not on the road! Also, getting to see Luke put on a great show every night never gets old. I love that I’m able to run all around the place while taking my photos and being in the middle of the crowd, getting to see their reactions to the show.

CC | What kind of camera do you do? EH | I use a Samsung NX1. I have two Samsung lenses to go with it. A 16-50mm and 18-200mm. These are versatile and allow me to get shots from angles all over, whether I’m right inside the barricade, up against the stage, or if I’m all the way back at front of house.

CC | How did you get to be a tour photographer? EH | Honestly it feels strange to say I’m any type of photographer. I didn’t have a background in it before I started working for Luke. Actually, it isn’t even technically the main part of my job, although the photography and the graphic design thing is growing more and more integral to what I do. I was hired to help run the Luke Bryan app that was released around the time I got hired, capturing a lot of the content that goes into it. At first I was taking shots with my phone. Of course, I was having a hard time getting many good shots with just my phone! Eventually, I started borrowing the camera (a Canon Rebel T4i) we use for the meet and greet pictures and learned how to use it. I looked up typical settings to use for concert photography, talked to guys on the crew that had some camera experience, and learned what camera terms like ISO and shutter speed etc. mean. Eventually, I was able to get my own camera which I still use two years later. I’m still learning so much about photography, so again it’s weird for me to call myself a photographer, but man do I love it!

CC | What do you use the photos for that you take during a show? EH | Every show gets its own photo album in Luke’s App. So needless to say, our app users have no shortage of live Luke photos! They also get used for press releases, Luke Bryan merchandise, they’ve been used as tour admats, and of course for his other social media platforms. Let me tell you, it’s a trip to see those pictures being used like that because as I said earlier, just a few years ago I didn’t have any photography aspirations, I just kind of fell into it.

CC | How do you pass the time on the tour bus? EH | Typically, we get on the bus late at night after the show is over, so fortunately we can go straight to sleep in our bunks and wake up at the next venue. Other than that, my bus loves playing NHL on the PlayStation 4 or just watch movies on HBO.

CC | What’s your favorite festival to play? EH | I think I’ll have to go with Tortuga in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. We played there this year on the first day of the festival and it was so nice having a show right on the beach that some of us decided to stay there the whole weekend. It was a nice little last minute vacation!

CC | Do you enjoy bigger shows or smaller shows? EH | It’s hard to choose because they both have their own vibes. When we have a stadium show it’s so cool to see all those people, how loud they are, and the bigger production our team sets up for those places. When Luke does “Drink A Beer” in a stadium, and everyone use their cell phone lights to light up the place it always gives me goosebumps. At smaller venues, it’s cool to have the crowd up close and personal. You can really feel their energy and excitement right in your face. On one of our recent runs Adam Craig, who is an artist I also work with, was opening up for Luke. He opened for Luke at an arena in Moline, IL, and then the next night Adam played a club gig in Peoria, IL, so I went with him. It was cool getting to witness the energy of an arena one night and then the very next night seeing what it’s like in a club setting. Adam was great in both environments and it was a lot of fun.

CC | Do you still go to concerts as a fan? EH | Absolutely! I especially enjoy the bands and artists I grew up loving before I ever even moved to Nashville, seven years ago. It’s a little harder now with us being on the road most weekends, but when I can I definitely go. I find myself not only watching the performance, but also what their stage production is like and how it compares to ours. It’s kind of like watching two different shows go on at the same time so it’s much more engaging for me than it was before I was on tour.

CC | Who is your favorite artist or band to see live? EH | Outside of the country world, it would have to be the Foo Fighters, hands down. I saw them last year in Nashville, and Dave Grohl had a broken leg so they made this “rock throne” for him to sit on and it moved around the stage! He still rocked it too, he’s such a great front man. Other great shows I’ve seen are Needtobreathe, Switchfoot, and Tyler Hilton. Tyler was just him, and his guitar. It was every bit as engaging as a big rock show. He is my favorite singer/songwriter so I was just transfixed on the songs.

CC | How many states have you been to? EH | I literally just had to look at the list of states and count them out because I haven’t been keeping track! 42. We’re going to Alaska this year so I’m really excited to cross that off my list. CC | Do you have any advice for anyone who wants a career on the road in the music industry? EH | I’d say be open to every opportunity even remotely related to what you want to do. Not only do you gain more experience, it can also put you in the same room with other people in the industry. Even more important than saying yes to those opportunities, have a good attitude while you’re doing them. Being a good hang can go a long way.

CC | Anything else? EH | Thank y’all for having me, never done an interview before! Good luck with CountryClones.com. I think it’s awesome y’all want to pull the curtain back and talk to behind-the-scenes guys like me. Thanks again!

Behind the Scenes | Touring Photographer We want to give country music fans an inside look to life on the road. While it may seem fun and glamorous, there is a lot to be done before, during, and after each show.