#its keepin me motivated | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gothcsz · 6 months ago

Text

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter VIIII.

GIF CREDIT

PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character

SUMMARY: After months of dancing around their emotions, Javier and Paloma finally address the tension between them head-on.

WORD COUNT: ~9.2k

RATING: 18+ Mature topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: smuttt, bulge riding, dry humping, protected p in v sex, dirty talk, javi being an asshole, angst, crime talk (if it's not accurate don't @ me), descriptions of violence against women, vomit mention, slut shaming(?), detective!javi is very gorgeous ME, other things that I'm probably forgetting.

DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized, including the usage of the song(s) that Paloma will perform throughout the story.

A/N: we did it… we did it joe !! javi and OFC finally [REDACTED] !! thank u to everyone who has been keepin up w this foolery so far, it makes my lil heart happy to see engagement < 3 also wanna say that years of watching criminal minds is finally starting to pay off and i rly hope u guys are enjoying the crime aspect of the plot because i'm havin A LOT of fun writing and developing it !! shit is gonna get twisted and intricate so brace yourselves for where we're about to go !!! the smut in this chapter is heavily inspired by touch it by ariana grande so i def recommend giving that a listen bc i feel like it just fits their vibe so well (i may or may not have used some of the lyrics in the dialogue.. oop!) last thing sooo irrelevant but mayor abbott looks like jonathan bailey (bridgerton hive RISE!!) in my head so take that as u will xoxo always feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3

♰ read on ao3. ♰

♰ playlist | pinterest | series masterlist ♰

As the sun casts its golden rays over the quiet outskirts of town, a grim discovery awaits the two men. The body of Jessica Valdez, the young girl reported missing from their neighboring town, lies lifeless in a shallow ditch. Javier stands beside Sheriff Leighton, their expressions grave as they survey the scene before them.

Reporters and curious onlookers have gathered, drawn by the spectacle of flashing lights and the somber atmosphere. A small group of people whisper amongst themselves, their hushed tones mingling with the distant sound of camera shutters clicking.

Romeo’s authoritative presence looms beside him, a pillar of strength in the face of another tragedy. His eyes narrow as they push through the gathered crowd, commanding respect and order in the chaotic scene.

They duck beneath the yellow crime scene tape, ignoring the questions being hurled at them by the press.

“Are there any indications of a motive for this murder?”

“Is this connected to the similar incidents in the area recently?”

“Is there anything the public can do to assist with the investigation?”

Javier’s stomach churns with sorrow as he takes in the sight. The body lies face down and sprawled in the dirt. He clenches his jaw, steeling himself against the wave of frustration threatening to overwhelm him.

Another failure on their behalf and all he can think about is the kiss shared between him and Paloma.

“Talk to us, Cecelia.”

“Well, at first glance: the body is still fairly warm so she was alive a few hours ago. It looks like she was held captive somewhere due to the bruising on her wrists and ankles. There are signs of malnourishment and she has smaller injuries scattered throughout her body. I won’t know more details until I do the autopsy.” The coroner answers before continuing,” Her chest is completely slashed through, just like all the others. Still our guy. Or girl–– you never know nowadays.”

Javier’s jaw flexes out of exasperation, mirroring the heavy sigh that escapes the sheriff’s lips. The weight of this repeated revelation settles over them like a suffocating blanket, casting a shadow over their efforts to uncover the truth.

Despite their tireless pursuit of justice, they find themselves no closer to catching the culprit or unraveling the mystery shrouding these towns. It’s fucking infuriating.

Amidst the tangled threads of his personal life, Javier has momentarily lost sight of his purpose for being here. He has been too immersed in his own character transformation and entanglement with Paloma, overlooking the harrowing reality unfolding around him: innocent women continuing to fall victim to brutal, senseless violence.

The gravity of his oversight has a mixture of guilt and despair settling deep within his chest.

Javier prides himself on his prowess, his ability to navigate the most intricate of cases and weather the toughest of storms. As a seasoned field agent with a string of accolades to his name (some undeserved, others very well deserved), he’s faced down challenges that would make others quiver.

Yet here he stands, feeling utterly impotent in the face of this whodunit in the confines of a sleepy town.

It gnaws at him, this sense of inadequacy, like a persistent itch he can’t scratch. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, a humbling reminder of the unpredictable nature of crime and the limits of his own expertise.

He needs to be better.

“What’s interestin’, though, is this,” She stands, motioning for the two men to follow her and they share a look before wordlessly complying. Cecelia hands them both a pair of latex gloves, instructing them to put them on.

They make it a few feet away from Jessica’s body and that’s when Javi sees it.

“Is that vomit?”

Cecelia nods, “It is. I’m betting it’s hers. The interestin’ bit isn’t that she vomited–– but the contents. Take a look. Tell me what you see.”

Javier is the first to kneel with Romeo looking over his shoulder. He eyes the evidence, pushing his aviators to the top of his head, making out the larger chunks in the grossly colored bile.

He can’t discern what it is right away and Cecelia encourages him to use his hands, which has him looking at her ludicrously and muttering how gross this shit is in Spanish before doing as suggested.

Poking his latex clad fingers in the mess, Javi analyzes the contents and that’s when he sees a symbol marked in ink on one of the scraps.

“It’s flesh. Human flesh.”

Shit. He sees it now, the mark is a tattoo and he quickly barks out an order to have one of the lingering deputies come take pictures of it.

“Son of a bitch is feedin’ people… people. Would explain Nina Thorton’s missin’ leg. What the fuck is goin’ on here?” The sheriff sounds defeated and Javier just remains silent as he mulls over all this new information that’s been revealed.

Kidnapped, held hostage, fed human flesh, murdered, dumped.

All the other victims up until now have only been taken then killed. None of them held captive for long. Not all of them consuming flesh.

But then there’s Nina and her postmortem severed leg.

Fuck, the answer is right there, interwoven in the intricacies and lack of details in the cases.

No more fucking around, no more helping girls sneak back inside their homes, no more distractions. He has to focus on doing his job.

He will catch who did this, he will prove himself to be qualified to do what he was brought here to do.

Javier remains kneeled and deep in thought as Romeo and Cecelia continue on with their observations. He looks around to study their surroundings, wondering if there is anything else that is right in front of him that he cannot see.

“Three outta five have been brunettes around the same age. I think that’s something worth considering now,” Javier breaks up the conversation betweens the sheriff and coroner, both of them turning to look at him as he stands from his kneeled position and begins to take off the gloves,” Seems like they found their type. There’s got to be a purpose for the consistent victimology.”

They’ve migrated over to Jessica’s body now, both men doing last minute look overs before she is transported back to her hometown for her parents to identify and for Cecelia to preform the autopsy.

When a deputy comes over to take the last bits of photo evidence, he looks sickly but Javier ignores it. It’s not until her body is turned upright, exposing her mauled chest, that has the younger officer hurling over and throwing up, some of it landing on Romeo.

“God fuckin’ damn it, Andrews, spew that shit elsewhere. Fuck, not only are you contaminatin’ the crime scene but you got it all over my damn pants.”

The sheriff goes on a tangent, chewing the officer out and threatening to suspend him for two weeks with no pay. It’s harsh, Javier will admit, but he doesn’t say anything, remaining stoic with his arms crossed against his chest as he watches it unfold.

Eventually, everyone trickles out. Even the nosey reporters and townies. Javier wants to stay, walk around the area to see if anything else was left behind. Maybe something was dropped or buried nearby, and while they had assured him that others have already done a thorough search–– he’d feel more comfortable if he did it himself.

“Ya mind stoppin’ by my place so I can change? Kid ruined these.” Romeo’s gruff voice has Javier losing his train of thought, too engrossed in looking out into the vast area of the woods as the sun slowly begins to set.

Right, they arrived together, driving from the station in Javier’s cruiser.

“Sure.” He replies plainly. His plans for the evening now include getting Romeo situated so that he can come back here and investigate all on his own. He might even drive to Fayette to retrieve the autopsy from Cecelia as soon as she completes it.

With the Leighton home being on the other side of town, this gives the two men time to talk the case over; going over all that they know and all that they’ve discovered. Romeo confides in Javier about feeling inadequate about the way he’s doing his job and, in a turn of events, Javier does the same. In his own way.

The mutual understanding is a relief, though the guilt of his kiss with Paloma is palpable and it makes Javi feel like a fraud.

Across from him is a man who has extended nothing but kindness and trust, offering camaraderie and a sense of belonging. Yet, despite this, Javier found himself drawn to his daughter in a way that was both exhilarating and forbidden.

It feels wrong, achingly so. A bitter realization that despite their mutual longing, their connection can never be fully realized. It’s a harsh wake up call: if he truly wants to better himself, he must shed his bad habit of losing himself in women and distance himself from her.

What a discomforting prospect, the inevitable separation. But he knows it’s the only way forward. He understands that in time, they will both resign themselves to the reality of their infatuation.

It’s a familiar ache, this sense of inevitability that haunts his romantic endeavors like a relentless specter. Javier knows the drill all too well; it’s not his first rodeo in navigating the treacherous terrain of severing emotional ties.

His love life feels like a series of missteps, a cursed labyrinth from which there’s no escape. Despite the initial allure of each new romance, he’s come to anticipate the eventual descent into disappointment. No matter how promising the beginning, the journey always seems to lead to the same desolate destination.

With him hurting them beyond measure.

Fuck the idea of reinventing himself here. He can find peace and monotony anywhere else.

Javier will follow through with his responsibilities, and the second he’s able to peel out of Seminary–– he will, leaving her behind as a bittersweet memory. A beautiful yet unattainable dream that he will carry with him for years to come.

As they pull in to the Leighton residence, he sees the woman that lives in his head perched up on the fence that surrounds the immediate area. Her baggy jeans are hanging low, exposing the sheer fabric of her underwear. She turns as she hears the sound of a car approaching, and her lips pull into a smile once she sees who it is.

Paloma fully expected to wake up the following day filled with regret and plagued by a hangover. The only thing she experienced was the latter, but it had quickly been nursed by a greasy breakfast and some yard work.

Javier had kissed her back, that was enough to feed into her delusions that he does want her. All inhibitions have been dropped, she’s prepared to lay herself out for him–– to tell him that she’s wanted him since the moment they met.

It might seem premature, an impulsive plunge into the uncertainty of his reaction to her feelings, but the tender memory of their shared kiss eclipses all rational thought. She finds herself irresistibly drawn to the possibility of something more, unable to resist the pull of her emotions.

His touch still lingers on her skin. His hands tracing the curves of her body with a hunger that left her breathless. She can still feel the way he had grabbed her ass then gripped onto her hips, pulling her closer to him.

But it was his mouth that left the strongest impression. His tongue had explored the depths of hers, tasting and teasing her with a ferocity that made her feel alive.

In that moment, she had felt desired, cherished, and wanted. It was a feeling that she hadn’t realized she craved so badly until last night. She knew that she would never be able to forget that kiss and the way it had made her feel.

She’s giddy, her excitement bubbling up like fizzy soda, reminiscent of the first time she ever kissed a boy. Except Javier isn’t a boy–– he’s a man. A man whose expertise and skill are a potent aphrodisiac, heightening her arousal to levels she never thought possible.

She’s been hot for him all day, even touched herself to the memory of his soft lips, the tickle of his mustache, against hers then imagining them everywhere else. The mere thought of it is enough to send her heart racing, and she knows that nothing will satisfy her until she has him in her arms again.

Romeo gets out the car, muttering that he’d be right back and Javi opts to stay put. He does not want to speak to her, knowing that the second he gazes into those beautiful brown eyes–– he’d buckle. He needs to build animosity between them; it’s the only way for them to definitively be able to separate from one another.

But she doesn’t make it easy, of course. Because the second her father is inside, she’s practically skipping over to the driver’s side of the cruiser.

“Hello officer. Here to bring me in for all those crimes I committed last night?” She teases as she leans her forearms against the rolled down window, the cowgirl hat perched on her head complimenting her so well.

Javier swallows thickly, taking a lengthy drag of the familiar cigarette between his lips. He can’t outright ignore her so he decides to be short instead.

“M’not here for games, Paloma.”

She’s taken aback by his tone, her smile faltering.

“Well excuse me for tryin’ to make conversation. Wasn’t aware that you’re in a mood today.”

There’s a pause despite her attempt to add a teasing tone to her words to lighten him up. It falls flat.

“And I’m not looking to have a conversation. You can go.”

Her brows cinch together at his dismissal, this is not how she was expecting for this to go.

“What’s goin on’? Is this because we… because of the kiss last night?” She lowers her voice towards the end, red blooming across her cheeks but she keeps her composure.

“Jesus,” Javier chuckles humorlessly, shaking his head. It sends a sharp pang through her heart.” Why do you always think that’s the fuckin’ problem whenever I don’t want to talk to you? For someone who claims to be a grown woman all the time, you sure as shit don’t act like it.”

She stills, the buoyant confidence that had propelled her toward him evaporating in an instant, replaced by a wave of hurt at his unexpected chilliness. What has gotten into him?

“Drop it and move on, Paloma. We just found Jessica Valdez’s body dumped out in a ditch. S’not the time to be hung up on a damn kiss.”

The sound of the screen door shutting close breaks her away from him and the trance she’d seemingly gone into. Another victim, another tragedy to confront… and here she is acting like a smitten teenaged girl.

The urge to cower and crawl into herself, to surrender to the overwhelming embarrassment and sorrow, threatens to engulf her entirely. She remains silent, fighting back the surge of frustrated, angry tears as she pushes off the car and trudges back toward the house.

Javier exhales heavily once she strides away without a word, feeling a weight settle on his shoulders. He had braced himself for a snide remark or some form of verbal retaliation, but her silent departure was far more impactful.

“I’ll be home late. Don’t wait up.” Her father murmurs as he passes her, planting a tender kiss atop her head. He lingers there for a moment but she doesn’t question it, knowing it’s because of what they found today and she doesn’t even mind that he hasn’t told her about it.

As he breaks away, she conjures up a semblance of a genuine smile, masking her turmoil, and nods before he affectionately pinches her nose and continues on his way.

She doesn’t look back, she doesn’t cry or go inside–– instead she picks up her discarded gardening gloves and proceeds to channel her energy into the simple act of mowing the grass.

She finds herself alone at the open bar as the party continues in full swing. It’s been days since Jessica’s death, and the tense conversation she had with Javier still lingers in her mind.

“Drop it and move on, Paloma.”

Unlike the last time they went without speaking, there is much more tension between them now. The worst part about it is having to act as if nothing is wrong in the presence of her father.

No daddy, everything’s fine! It’s not like I threw myself at your co-worker not once, but twice and both times he made me feel like a fucking idiot!

She lets out a disdainful sigh, her fingers curling around the glass containing her coveted cherry root beer since she’s decided to part ways with alcohol and any other substance for the time being.

The two men are busy mingling with other guests and have been since the moment they arrived. Despite her efforts to divert her gaze elsewhere, her eyes keep involuntarily drifting towards Javier’s broad figure.

The event had called for formal attire, so when he strode in wearing a meticulously tailored all-black suit, her breath caught in her throat. The sharp lines of his outfit, coupled with the crispness of his button-down and the matching tie, made her momentarily forget why she was so upset with him. He looked too damn handsome.

It’s brutal how the things we desire most often seem to radiate the brightest when they’re just out of reach.

Observing him mingle effortlessly with others is entertaining. Contrary to her expectations, he appears completely at ease in this bustling social setting, a far cry from the disdain he expressed for large gatherings that morning in his kitchen.

He’s acting a lot more extroverted and… smile-y. It pisses her off as much as it melts her heart.

They make their way over to her and she makes a point to not even look in his direction. Though now she’s caught between her father and Javier as they order another round of drinks.

It really doesn’t help that they’re shoulder to shoulder. The heady aroma of his cologne, laced with the familiar tang of cigarette smoke and the faint hint of whiskey, infiltrates her senses, making it impossible to outright ignore him.

Javier Peña is like a blazing beacon and she’s the foolish moth drawn inexplicably closer to his flame. But she knows all too well the danger of getting too close, like a moth singed by the heat, the allure of his brightness can be killer.

Javier had assumed that with news of Jessica being found dead, their attendance to this party wouldn’t be mandatory.

Well, he thought wrong. It is a cruel reminder of how life goes on, even when tragedy strikes.

Another dead girl, another over-the-top party.

Which is why he’ll give it an hour–– tops–– to shake whoever’s hand and meet whoever else, then he’d leave. It’s a simple plan, the only thing making it difficult for him is his proximity to the woman he’s desperately trying to cut ties with.

She looks so beautiful tonight, donning a calf length simple black dress that hugs all her curves just right.

“There they are! My Law and Order! Y’all keepin’ the townsfolk in line?” The boastful voice of Mayor Jonah Abbott draws near and Javier suppresses the urge to roll his eyes.

Foolish of him to think he wouldn’t have to interact with the titular birthday boy tonight.

He greets both men with a firm handshake, and when his attention turns to her; Javier has to drown the subtle spark of frustration with his drink at the way his eyes rake over her body.

“And of course, Miss. Paloma. They say a smile is worth a thousand words, but yours? It’s worth a million dreams.” He brings her hand up to his lips to plant a kiss against her knuckles and all she does is offer him a polite smile. Here we go…

“Mr. Abbott—”

“Jonah, sweetheart. Been tellin’ you to call me that for years now.”

Her smile threatens to twitch out of annoyance, “Jonah. Happy Birthday. Thank you for invitin’ us to your home.”

“Always a pleasure to have you ’round. I heard about your performance up in Dallas. Shame I missed it. Woulda loved to hear that beautiful voice of yours and seen you up on that stage.”

Javier can’t help the subtle grunt he emits at the mayor’s overt flirtation, causing for her to just briefly glance up at him with a bemused flash crossing her stare.

The familiarity of Jonah’s behavior strikes a chord within him. Once upon a time, Javier was just like this–– an arrogant charmer with a penchant for flirting with anything in a skirt. Standing here amidst the other man’s smooth talk, he sees through the facade with clarity born of experience.

It’s a performance, an act to charm his way in between Paloma’s legs, though Javi can clearly see that she’s not falling for it. Does Romeo notice it too, he wonders? Or is he blinded by the mayor’s charisma, unable to see that this man clearly wants to sleep with his daughter.

Then again, Javier’s opinion on this is irrelevant and invalid since he too has been in the same predicament since meeting her. At least he didn’t do it blatantly in front of the sheriff’s face.

Or, in a turn of events, perhaps Romeo doesn’t give a damn. Jonah Abbott presents himself as a viable candidate to be with his daughter; a young politician with deep pockets and a keen interest in her.

Javier can’t shake off the mental picture of the man’s wedding ring adorning her finger, of her transforming into the perfect, submissive wife, tending to the household and filling this place with snot nosed kids. But such a scenario doesn’t align with her fiery and headstrong nature. She’s far too independent and spirited to succumb to the confines of domesticity, particularly for a man like Jonah.

Then again, why the fuck does he care?

“Well as you know, I do two shows every weekend at The Whiskey Fox. Could always stop by and see me and the band.”

“A busy man like myself always has a full schedule. Though I reckon I should make some time to be out in the community. Wouldn’t hurt to stop by for dinner and a show.”

He winks at her and of course he does it when her father turns to order himself another drink. Javier’s jaw flinches.

“Now Romeo, why have you been keepin’ this badass motherfucker hidden from me? I knew we had someone new joinin’ the force but I didn’t think it’d be the Javier Peña. A goddamn American hero— right here in Seminary, Texas!”

As Jonah begins his praises, pairing them with a harsh slap to his shoulder, Javier remains cool and calculating. He refuses to be swayed by empty compliments.

Meanwhile, she breathes a silent sigh of relief as the spotlight shifts away from her, and she finds it amusing at how everyone seems to talk about Javier.

A hero. A true patriot. Such a brave soul for fightin’ the war on drugs on Uncle Sam’s behalf.

If only they knew the truth––if they had even a glimpse of the darkness he’s had to face, they wouldn’t be so quick to idolize him.

The label of hero, bestowed upon him since the demise of Escobar, sits uneasily on his shoulders. The adulation feels like a burden he never asked for, a title he never wanted. It’s a reminder of the complexities of his past, the mistakes he’s made, and the ghosts that continue to haunt him. Javi despises the word, resenting the way it overshadows his true self and the countless sins he harbors in silence.

“Gotta keep ’em humble. Keeps the head on straight.” Romeo banters back, pulling one of those haughty, rich men laughs from the mayor.

She cringes at the pretentiousness echoing in the air.

The men break out into small talk leaving her feeling awkward as she swirls the almost fully melted ice around the empty cup. It’s not until Jonah is getting ready to move on to a new set of guests that the attention is turned back to her.

“And you, pretty girl, owe me a song. Specifically that one Linda Ronstadt song from the Fourth of July barbecue last year. Remember? S’only fair… consider it a birthday gift from you to me.”

Despite her inner discomfort, she maintains a face of cheerfulness, though her stomach sinks with apprehension at his request. Memories of the barbecue flood her mind, vivid recollections of his relentless pursuit despite her repeated, albeit polite, refusals.

The word ’no’ is on the tip of her tongue, but knowing all too well the persistence he’s exhibited before; she succumbs to the weight of the occasion—his birthday—and the anticipation in his eyes.

“Blue Bayou, I remember. Does the band know it?” She inquires, her gaze flickering towards the live band stationed near the open area of the dance floor where a throng of people sway to the music.

She’s secretly hoping that they don’t, but the song is very popular so her hope dwindles.

“If they don’t, they will. I’ll introduce you when it’s time.”

With a tight and forced smile gracing her lips, she simply replies, “Okay,” accompanied by a subtle nod. His wicked grin spreads larger, almost daring Javier to react by punching him square in the jaw.

Regardless of how he feels towards her and their situation, it irks him to no end how this man blatantly disregards her boundaries.

Her body language screams apprehension, evident to anyone observant enough. However, Mayor Abbott is too fixated on persuading her to comply with his wishes to take notice. It’s apparent that he’s not accustomed to hearing the word ’no’.

Javi just holds his tongue, an insult threatening to slip out, as he finishes his drink with a practiced air of nonchalance.

The mayor finally says his goodbyes before walking away and her shoulders drop instantly.

“Guess I owe ya twenty bucks.” Romeo mutters, digging into his suit pocket for his wallet.

The laugh she gives, though slight, simultaneously soothes and torments his heart.

Damn it all— this is going to be torture but he must endure.

“She bet that he was gonna pull somethin’ like this before leavin’ the house. I was dumb enough to think he wouldn’t.” He explains to Javier as he slips his daughter the twenty dollar bill which she slyly stuffs under the fabric of her dress by her chest.

The action, seemingly simple, is so hot to him.

“How many times do I have to say m’not a damn show pony that does tricks whenever it’s asked? He’s so lucky that I’m polite and that it’s his birthday— If not I woulda told him to shove it—-” She doesn’t finish her sentence as they’re approached by a group of people that she doesn’t recognize nor care for.

She feels like an afterthought as they bombard the men with questions about the recent cases and other related topics, so she takes that as her cue to leave, ordering another mocktail before slipping away towards the dance floor.

She is fully prepared to turn her brain off to enjoy some semblance of normalcy before she’s thrown back in to the confusing pit that is her current status with the former DEA agent.

Attempting to convince herself that she’s enjoying the moment, she sways to the lively rhythm of the music, lost in her own solitary dance. A few partygoers approach her asking to join her which she declines; peeved by all the unwanted attention she’s getting.

This isn’t even her party. She holds no merit here.

Javier only catches glimpses of her from his peripheral, engrossed in a conversation with a man who remembers him from his sheriff days in Laredo, before he left for Colombia. The discourse drones on, punctuated by forced laughter and idle pleasantries. Each word falls flat, devoid of substance, yet Javier remains steadfast. Anything to keep him and his mind away from her.

Suddenly, the screeching sound of microphone feedback reverberates off the opulent walls of the ballroom-style space and she winces at noise.

“Excuse me, sorry–– I’m not very good with these things.” The man of the hour apologizes, his voice crackling through the speakers. She inwardly curses, anticipating what’s to come next. Setting her now-empty glass down on one of the nearby tables, she smooths her hands along the velvety fabric of her dress, ironing out any wrinkles, and hastily fixes her hair as best as she can without a mirror.

With a deep breath, she pushes down her nerves, summoning a smile to face the adversity when he introduces her. She steps onto the stage, the room erupting into scattered applause as she approaches the microphone.

♫

Midway through the song, to her surprise, Jonah joins her on stage, transforming the solo performance into an unexpected duet. Despite her inner discomfort, Paloma maintains a composed expression and tries to conceal any hint of surprise in her body language as he draws nearer.

Her unease heightens when he pulls her close against him, the heat of his body against hers as they sway to the rhythm of the music during the instrumental interlude of the country song. She reluctantly complies, her compliance more a result of avoidance of potential consequences than genuine willingness to dance with him.

The sight of his possessive grip on her waist, pulling her into an unwelcome dance, ignites a surge of vexation within Javier. He feels the tension in his muscles coil tighter with each step they take, their bodies moving in sync to the rhythm of the music. It’s unbearable to watch, the image of Paloma in Jonah’s arms twisting like a knife in his gut.

Without a word, Javier makes his escape, his strides purposeful as he navigates through the crowded room. He mutters a vague excuse to Romeo, the urgency in his voice betraying his need to flee from the suffocating scene unfolding before him.

Finally stepping out into the cooler night air, Javier takes a deep breath to soothe his frazzled nerves. He makes his way towards a gazebo that’s right by the large pond, putting as much distance as he can between himself and the party inside.

Leaning against the railing of the structure, he retrieves his trusty pack of cigarettes from his pocket, hands trembling slightly as he lights one. Each drag offers a fleeting moment of respite from the turmoil brewing inside him.

Inside, the song ends and she wastes no time in descending the stage, a sense of urgency propelling her movements. She refuses to linger, her mind consumed with the dread of another unwanted encounter with the mayor. Surveying the crowded room, she searches in vain for her father or Javier, but they’re nowhere to be found amidst the sea of faces.

Determined to escape the party atmosphere, Paloma makes a beeline for the exit, craving the solace of the summer night air. Stepping out onto the back porch, she inhales deeply, the breeze offering a welcome reprieve from the stifling heat of the event.

The night is alive with subtle sounds—toads croaking in the distance, the distant murmur of conversation—but it’s the solitary figure in the distance that captures her attention. With a sense of inevitability, Paloma finds herself drawn towards the silhouette, her heels clicking softly against the pavement as she descends the steps leading to the gazebo.

When she approaches, Javier remains steadfast, his gaze fixed on the tranquil expanse of water before him. The rhythmic puff of his cigarette punctuates the silence, a tangible barrier between them. Despite the tension hanging in the air, Paloma presses forward, her resolve unyielding as she closes the distance between them.

“We need to talk.”

He stands like a statue, the weight of her words are heavy, yet he remains resolute in his silence, hoping that she’ll simply give up and leave him be. But Paloma is nothing if not persistent, her frustration bubbling over as she confronts him.

“Fuck, Javier will you at least look at me?! Acknowledge that I’m standin’ here tryin’ to speak with you?!” Her voice crackles with pent-up emotion, her southern accent thick as each word is laden with an intensity that he can’t ignore.

Reluctantly, he turns his head slightly, his gaze skimming over her figure with resignation. It’s a small concession, but it’s enough to stoke the fire of her frustration to new heights.

“I dunno why you’ve decided to be such a jerk to me all of the sudden,” she continues, her tone laced with a raw edge of hurt and confusion. “You’re tellin’ me that I’m bein’ childish a-and that I need to move on from the kiss but we both know it’s so much bigger than that. We’ve been dancin’ around it since the moment we met and I’m tired of pretendin’ like I don’t want you.”

His eyes close briefly, a fleeting moment of vulnerability before he retreats behind his stoic facade once more. His fingers find their way to the bridge of his nose, pinching tightly as he struggles to find the right words to respond. But before he can form a coherent thought, she presses on, her voice trembling with the weight of her confession.

“I told myself I wouldn’t care if you didn’t feel the same way,” She admits, her voice growing softer now, tinged with a hint of desperation. “But that was before I got to know you. Before you somehow wriggled your way into my heart and overtook my mind entirely. We became friends, and I-I didn’t want to screw that up. But then we kissed, and in that moment, I knew you wanted me just as badly…”

She draws closer, her hand reaching out tentatively to rest on his shoulder, the touch sending a jolt of tension through his body. It’s a silent plea, a manifestation of her vulnerability, and it’s all he can do to keep his composure still as her words wash over him like a hurricane.

“Every time I see you I don’t want to behave, Javi. I’m tired of being patient, so let’s pick up the pace and finally give in.”

He flicks his finished cigarette out into the water, the ember trailing like a shooting star before disappearing into the dark abyss below.

Slowly, he turns to face her fully, the summer air crackling with tension as he takes in her determined stance. His hand shoots out, grabbing hold of the wrist that had just been resting on him, his dark eyes boring into hers in an act of intimidation.

But Paloma doesn’t back down, her gaze unwavering as she meets his stare head-on. Instead, she brings her free hand up to rest against his chest, the heat of her touch seeping through the fabric of his shirt as she steps closer, closing the gap between them until his dress shoes are toe-to-toe with her pointed heels.

He doesn’t make an effort to step away or decline her advances, his resolve crumbling in the face of her determination. Her words have jumbled him up completely, the sudden revelation of her feelings catching him off guard and leaving him reeling. The direct mention of what they’ve been indulging in for the past few months digs into his achilles’ heel—his tendency to fall in love in the damndest of times.

He stares down into her eyes, a storm of conflicting emotions raging wildly. The lust swirling in her gaze stirs something primal and raw within him. Any rational part of his brain seems to shut down in that moment, his thoughts consumed by the overwhelming desire to kiss her again, to lose himself in the exhilarating whirlwind of emotions that she evokes from him.

“It’s obviously insane, m’not a fucking idiot I understand the repercussions…. but we both know what we want, so why don’t we…” She whispers, tilting her head up until their lips brush against one another.

“Why don’t we fall in love?”

It’s not clear who makes the first move, but their lips are interlocked in a passionate kiss—a fierce collision of desire and pent-up longing that surpasses the one they had previously shared. Paloma’s hand on his chest clenches the fabric of his shirt while Javier relinquishes his grip on her wrist, his own hands rising to cradle her jaw in his palms.

The taste of the lingering cigarette smoke mingles with the faint bitterness of alcohol on his breath, a heady combination that heightens her desire. She moans softly into his mouth, her tongue intertwining with his in a desperate attempt to savor every fleeting moment before it inevitably slips away.

Javier, consumed by the intoxicating sensation, slowly walks her back until her back is against the sturdy pillar of the gazebo, his movements now possessive and urgent. He deepens the kiss, molding his body against hers as if to merge their souls into one.

Her touch is addicting, a bittersweet symphony that resonates in the depths of his bones. Despite the warnings screaming in the recesses of his mind, urging him to stop and pull away, he finds himself unable to resist the magnetic pull she exerts over him.

Breaking the kiss, Javier’s lips trail down the side of her mouth, blazing a trail of heated kisses along her jawline before descending to her neck. His teeth graze her delicate skin, resisting the urge to leave a trail of marks in their wake as his tongue traces a path along her neck and up to her earlobe, where he bites down gently.

“Is this what you wanted, nena? For me to shower you in my fucking attention?” He husks, his voice thick with desire and a hint of frustration. His words swim between them, a question laced with layers of longing and palpable need, as he continues to lavish attention upon her neck, each kiss and caress fueling the flames of their mutual desire.

Paloma just whines, arching herself into him as her thighs rub together to relieve the tension of arousal that is assaulting her core.

“Yes, Javi, that’s all I want. I want you to talk to me, to touch me, to make me feel good.”

Her hands are now against his broad shoulders, fingers curling into the fabric of his suit jacket as she feels the muscles beneath tense at her touch. A low, guttural groan escapes his lips in response to her words, a primal sound that sends shivers down her spine.

“I can make you feel good, hermosa. Better than any fucking culero (asshole) in this town.” He murmurs, his voice dripping with possessiveness. With deliberate intent, Javi begins to hike up her long dress, the fabric yielding easily to his touch until it’s gathered at the top of her thighs, exposing her black, lacey panties. His hands roam lower, trailing a path of electricity along her skin until they find purchase behind her thighs, gripping the soft skin firmly as he effortlessly lifts her into his arms.

She wraps her legs around his waist, anchoring herself to him as he hoists her up against the solid pillar of the gazebo. She feels his hardness pressing up against her clothed cunt and it has a sharp pang of pleasure sprouting at her core, igniting a fierce heat to course through her entirely. His touch is addicting, sending waves of ecstasy rippling through her body as she surrenders to the intrinsic urgency of their shared horniness.

The pure conviction in his tone only adds to the intensity of the moment. She wants nothing more than to be completely ruined by this man. She wants to be his, and his alone.

Javier grinds his hips up, the friction between them firing up every nerve ending. Her pussy throbs with need, aching for more of his touch. She can feel every inch of him pressing against her, his hard cock straining against his pants, begging to be released.

As their bodies move in perfect harmony, she wraps her fingers in his hair, tugging at it lightly. His lips move from her neck and crash against hers, a wild, passionate kiss that leaves them both panting for air. It grows more frenzied, their teeth clashing together in a desperate and selfish need for more. She moans into his mouth, the sound sending a jolt of electric arousal straight to his cock. He grinds harder against her, his hips moving in rhythm with hers.

She can feel her orgasm building, a fierce heat blossoming at her pussy. Her whimpers turn to animated moans as she writhes against him. The last time she dry humped someone to completion had been way back in high school and that had been an overall embarrassment so it’s never something she revisited.

Not until now, with Javier who is making her feel like she’s the only girl in the fucking world.

His fingers expertly cup her breast, teasing her hardened nipple through the fabric of her dress. She arches her back, pressing her chest into his hand, silently begging for more. He takes the hint, groping her and squeezing it gently, relishing in the way she shudders.

Her eyes close in ecstasy as he continues to knead her tit. His other hand trails along her inner thigh, inching closer and closer to the heat between her legs. When he finally reaches her core, she gasps, her body trembling with need. He doesn’t touch her, instead he digs his fingers into the soft flesh of her thigh.

“If this is what you wanted so fucking bad then go ahead and take it, needy girl. Go on, make yourself cum by grinding that wet pussy all over me.”

She mewls, throwing her head back as she feels her orgasm building. She’s such a sight to bear witness to, how her swollen lips part and his name slips from her tongue like a hymn, making his cock twitch.

Her wetness seeps through her flimsy thong, leaving a damp spot on the fabric of his dress pants. He can feel it seeping through the material and it drives him mad. He needs to be inside her, to feel her walls fluttering around his cock as they finally give in to each other…

But first, he wants to watch her unravel just like this.

“I’m close, Javi…” His lips hungrily devour the tender flesh of her neck again, making her eyes roll back as their hips continue to move at a sensual pace. The metallic zipper of his pants brushes against her sensitive clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through her body. She can’t help but cry out in sweet surrender, her voice louder than before.

His large hand clamps over her mouth, preventing her screams from echoing out.

“Don’t get us caught, chiquita. Wouldn’t want your daddy comin’ out here and findin’ you like this–– all cockdrunk and begging to be fucked.”

His dirty and abrasive words are like fuel to the flames of her impending climax, sending her spiraling out of control. Her rhythm stutters, her body writhing uncontrollably as she bites down on the skin of his palm as the orgasm overtakes her entirely.

All that can be heard is their heavy, shared pants. His hand falls from her mouth as she falls limp in his arms, her body jolting every now and again with the aftershock of her intense orgasm.

She peppers tender kisses along the bare expanse of his jaw, silently berating him for having his shirt buttoned up for once and the pesky tie restricting her from licking and biting against the tantalizing skin of his neck and collarbone.

“Need… need to feel you, Javi, please.” She whines against his ear, her hands trailing down from his broad shoulders, over his chest, then down to his belt buckle. She can still feel the swell of him pressed up against her sopping cunt and despite just coming hard; she’s craving to feel all of him.

This is the pivotal moment where he knows he should exercise restraint, where the noble path of virtue beckons him to rise above the consuming tide of desire. To explain to her that they can and never will be anything but an unattainable fantasy.

But he doesn’t, instead Javi lets her untuck his dress shirt from his pants and helps her with unbuckling his belt.

“We shouldn’t do this, Paloma…” Is all he can say in an attempt to keep it from happening but she shushes him, her hand slipping beneath his boxers as she wraps her manicured fingers around his girth and begins to pump him slowly.

“Mierda,” He curses in Spanish, his forehead falling gently against hers as his eyes flutter close at the overwhelming feeling of her softer, smaller hand jerking him off. Her thumb glides over the tip, spreading his excessive precum over the length of his cock.

“But we want to… oh you’re so big Javi. Gonna be feelin’ you for days…” She sounds like something out of a wet dream and he simply can’t hold back any longer.

He instructs her to grab his wallet from his suit pocket and to retrieve the condom he keeps in there, receiving a playful eye roll from her but she doesn’t push her luck–– she needs him badly and she’d go absolutely feral if he decided to deny them both the pleasure of fucking.

His strong hold on her keeps them secure against the pillar, she rips the small package with her teeth then pushes his pants down enough to release his erection, rolling the latex on easily.

There’s a moment where suspension hangs in the air, both of them staring into each other’s lust blown eyes.

“Don’t think about it too much, please. Just fuck me.”

Her insistence is such a turn on, spurring him into reaching down to ball up the thin layer of her panties before he yanks them off, the sound of the fabric tearing apart causing her to gasp. Stuffing the ruined material into his back pocket, he readjusts his hips so that the thick head of his cock presses up against her exposed and puffy folds.

“Such an impatient little thing, hermosa. I shouldn’t even give you what you want. Should just walk away and leave you here a desperate and wet mess.”

Gripping onto the base of his cock with his free hand, Javier nudges it between her slit and teases her, the head repeatedly brushing against the pearl of her clit.

Her breath hitches, rolling her hips to entice him into entering her, “Please, Javi, I’ll do whatever you want just plea–– oh f-fuck!”

He sinks into her pussy, leaning forward to bite down on her shoulder to keep his own sounds of pleasure at bay as he feels the way her fleshy walls contract around his cock, stretching her with how thick he is.

Her fingers return to intertwine themselves in his hair as he begins to set a delicious pace, fucking into her with a passion that’s making her see stars. The feeling of his teeth digging into her skin is an added stimulant to the already immense pleasure.

“Damn it you’re so tight. Feel so good wrapped around my cock, pretty girl. You satisfied now that I’m giving you what you want, huh?” He grunts out, nipping at her jawline as all she does is keen and moan, too overwhelmed with how good he’s making her feel. “Spoiled little thing, gonna fuck that right out of this tight little body. So you can learn, fuck, learn how not to be such a fucking pain in my ass.”

She’s too wrapped up in the feeling of him brushing up against her cervix to fully process what he is saying against her skin. Their lips slant over each other as they kiss messily, the way he fucks her making her brain melt.

There’s no thoughts up there, just the feeling of him as he continues to break her open with his delicious cock.

His hands fall down to her waist, holding on tightly as he goes from languid thrusts to a quicker, more brutal pace as they chase their orgasms.

She’s glad that they’re far away enough to where no one can interrupt this moment, though the idea of there being an onlooker does entice her more than she’d ever admit.

Her legs tighten around his waist, the pointed heel of her shoes digging into his backside as she feels a knot forming at the pit of her stomach, indicating that she isn’t far from coming undone.

“C’mon nena, be a good girl and let go,” His thumb finds itself being pressed against her soft lips and immediately she opens her mouth, licking around then sucking the digit and maintaining eye contact through it all. It has Javier grunting out a few expletives before letting his saliva coated thumb drop between them, rubbing tight circles against her clit.

This has her clenching around him and crying out, which causes a smirk to tug at his lips as he puts more pressure onto her clit.” Tan bonita así, toda lista para mi. (So pretty like this, all ready for me)”

She tugs harshly at his hair at the sound of his Spanish, her arousal topples over and her second orgasm hits her like toppling bricks. She squeezes his cock tightly inside her, her legs an iron grip on his waist as she bites down harshly on her bottom lip, almost drawing blood, to keep her intense whimpers and moans from spilling out and drawing attention to them.

Satisfied that he’s made her unravel on him, Javier fucks her through her orgasm relentlessly until he’s spilling into the condom, burying his face in her neck, right where he can feel her pulse, and grazing the skin with his teeth. He wants to leave a mark, for her to walk around with evidence of him on her body but that’d be a wrong move atop of all the other wrong moves he’s made tonight.

Paloma breathes heavily, mind hazy as she tries to recollect herself from the throes of passion bestowed upon her by Javier Peña. They stay there, embraced in one another before he pulls out of her with a grunt and she whines at the loss of him.

Her legs unwrap from his waist as he tentatively sets her down, discarding of the condom into the water as he tucks himself back into his pants and she pulls her dress down, not even bothered by the fact that he ripped her underwear right off of her.

“That was a mistake.”

His statement cuts through the night air and she’s already struggling to catch her footing on wobbly legs, the effect of being fucked hard and good.

“Javi––”

“No, Paloma, I’m fucking serious.” He asserts, his voice taking on a sharp edge, landing like a heavy blow on her already rattled nerves.

“All that sentimental bullshit you were saying before… it means nothing to me. You’re just a distraction–– a pretty face that’s been keeping me from doing my damn job. Now, there’s another life lost, and instead of finding answers, I’m too busy babysitting you.”

“Don’t you dare pin your incompetence on me, Javier,” She shoots back, her tone tinged with anger and frustration,” I’ve seen my father struggle with this bullshit for months now–– it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. S’not my fault you’re not as clever as everyone thinks you are. All the praise you get for being such a fuckin’ hero and yet… look at you. Unable to meet the expectations.”

She adjusts the thin straps of her dress back up her shoulder, wincing slightly as she brushes against the bite mark he accidentally left against her skin, knowing that she’s going to feel that atop of the soreness between her legs after this.

She braces herself for the inevitable discomfort that will follow, both physically and emotionally.

Javier’s jaw tightens, muscles rippling beneath his skin as he fights to maintain his composure. He knows better than to let her words get to him the way that they are.

This is exactly what they need, some intense fight to fully shatter the illusion of their involvement.

“Look at you, Paloma,” He sneers, his words dripping with contempt as he levels a scornful gaze at her. “Throwing yourself at me every chance you get like a whore. I used to pay for shit like this, but you? Oh, I didn’t spare a fucking dime. Giving it all up for free.”

Her jaw drops, a surge of anger and indignation flooding her senses as his words cut through her like a knife. She raises her hand instinctively, intent on delivering a stinging rebuke in the form of a slap across his jaw. But before she can make contact, his grip tightens around her wrist, arresting her movement with an iron grip.

“Don’t be stupid, querida,” He mocks her, his voice laced with disdain as he delivers each word like a venomous dagger. “Now that I fucked you one good time: Leave. Me. Alone. How ’bout you go back inside and fraternize with the mayor. I’m sure he’s eager to give you all the male validation you’re clearly chasing after.” He tilts his head, glaring at her in contempt. “Better yet, run off to your junkie, criminal boyfriend; won’t be long before he knocks you up and you’re stuck living in a run down trailer park in this shitty fucking town.”

Paloma’s heart shatters at his callous words, tears welling up in her eyes and streaming down her cheeks unchecked. She gazes up at Javier, but the man before her is no longer the sweet, charming figure she thought she knew. His eyes, once warm and inviting, now glint with coldness and malice, rendering him unrecognizable to her.

“Fuck you,” She spits, wrenching her hand free from his grip with a mixture of anger and hurt flashing in her eyes. Despite the tears welling up, she summons every ounce of defiance to shoot him a disdainful glare. “You’re a piece of shit, Javier Peña.”

With those final words, ones he’s heard a plethora of times before, she whirls around, her footsteps echoing loudly on the wooden stairs as she races to the nearest bathroom.

Ignoring the throbbing ache between her legs, she finds solace in the confines of the lavish restroom, allowing herself to unleash the torrent of tears pent up inside. Feeling foolish and utterly used, she wonders how she could have ever fallen for a man like him.

Meanwhile, Javier is left grappling with the sight of her heartbreak now etched into his memory. Pushing aside his own conflicted emotions, he knows he can’t afford to let their tangled affair distract him any longer.

This is what you both needed. He reminds himself, looking out into the water as the silver moonlight reflects off of the surface. Harsh, but she’ll get over it.

With a resigned sigh, he retrieves another cigarette, the familiar ritual offering a fleeting sense of calm amidst the storm raging about.

#javier peña smut #javier pena fanfic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #javier pena smut #javier pena fic #javier pena narcos #javier peña narcos #pedro pascal fanfic #javier peña fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal character fanfic #narcos fanfiction #narcos fic #javier peña x ofc #javier pena fanfiction #javier peña fic

24 notes · View notes

donniesbabygirl28 · 1 year ago

Note

request:

The greasers reaction to there s/o who is a singer when they are on stage singing a song they wrote about them that they didn't know about.

Im SO sorry this took forever. I'm doing it right now because I just now have the motivation to do it, um I just recently went through my old requests and found this and I'm so excited. (Also I'm going to use a Taylor swift song "Enchanted" for this fic <3)

[All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you.]

You stood tall as you watched the crowd's eyes stare back at you, only looking for the eyes you know.

You were scared to death. Your closest buddies were going to watch you perform and you wrote a song for them.

You first met eyes with Darry, sending an excited wave at him.

The music started and you grabbed your mic.

"There I was again tonight. Forcing laughter, faking smiles. Same old tired, lonely place."

You sang quietly as you met eyes with Dallas, two-bit and Johnny.

Dal's cold eyes made you nervous and made you feel like you wanted to jump off the stage and fall to the ground.

"Walls of insincerity. Shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when I saw your face. All I can say is it was enchanted to meet you."

The gang stood dumbfounded as you sang unfamiliar lyrics.

"Why haven't we heard this before?" Steve asked the gang.

"Maybe it's for some ol boyfriend." Two-bit joked before soda stepped in.

"Man, she ain't got no boyfriend."

"Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?". Across the room, your silhouette starts to make its way to me. The playful conversation starts. Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy And it was enchanting to meet you. All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you"

You started to get more comfortable for the chorus, pointing to the gang discreetly, smiling brightly.

"She pointin' at us?" Ponyboy asked Johnny.

He just shrugged, also wondering who it was you were pointing at.

You continued to sing your song that you spent nights on, wanting to make sure it was perfect for the boys.

"This is me praying that, this was the very first page. Not where the story line ends. My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again. These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon I was enchanted to meet you."

You sang the rest of the song, ending it off by introducing the gang to the crowd.

"This song was made for my best friends. Darry is the dad of the group. Always keepin' us together and makin' sure we ain't breakin' our necks." You said, Darry smiling at you from a distance.

"Steve. I may not like you that much but you entertain me by doin' dumb shit. Good job for not killing yourself. And uh. Sodapop, Your movie star looks aren't gonna save you from this ass whooping you about to get if you don't stop leaving your work shoes in the middle of the floor. Love ya though." You said jokingly as Steve flipped you off, smiling at you as well as the crown "oo"ed as you said your part to soda.

"Ponyboy and Johnny. I love you two so much. And Ponyboy you need to stop stealing my cigarettes. Please and thank you. Johnny, I know you don't have a nice family at home but you have a nice family with us and we are here to stay." You saw Ponyboy holding Johnny as he teared up, wiping his nose.

"Two- Bit. One of my favorites. If you don't stop waking me up at three in the morning I'm gonna kill you. Yeah. I see you smiling over there. Don't think I won't hop off this stage and kick your ass. Love you." Two-Bit laughed loudly, along with the gang.

You looked at Dallas, your hands getting sweaty slightly.

"Dallas. Uhm, you may look like an asshole but you- no you still are. Stop taking my snacks. The next time I catch you I'm gonna pop you in the mouth. But I learned to look past your bitchy attitude and I learned that you just need to be cared for. We care for you and you need to know that you aren't fucked up. You just have a bitchy attitude. Love you asshole."

The crowd clapped and hollered.

"I love ya'll so much and I would risk it all for you guys." Half talking to the crowd. But you were really talking to your buddies.

#Hope you can forgive meee #dallas winston x reader #johnny cade #sodapop headcanons #ponyboy curtis #darry curtis #the outsiders #steve randle #two bit mathews

59 notes · View notes

delafiseaseses · 6 months ago

Note

What are your thoughts on Samuel Cooke?

Ooo this is a good question. Samuel Cooke's an interestin' bloke.

As we all know, Cooke is very anti-NCR, its even how he ended up in prison. As Cooke describes it 'I was blowing up supply caravans along the 15 freeway. The NCR got wise to my ambush spots, picked me up and threw me in a cage.' (this makes the fact the geniuses in the NCR Prison system put him in proximity to dynamite ridiculous in a way that proves 'ow incompitent the NCR am).

And Cooke is 100% correct in this statement which serves as his motivation:

"Their "republic" is a joke. They're a bunch of tyrants led by an even greater tyrant, that idiot Kimball. They think they have the right to annex every inch of dirt in the West and force their system on every man, woman, and child."

His revolution at the NCRCF, unfortunately, certainly hasn't helped the people of the Mojave: The Primm Escaped Convicts, the Deathclaws infesting the Quarry, the NCRCF Powder Gang which is just a Raider Gang.

Now, I'm not gonna blame Samuel for this, I don't know which parta the Gangers raided the Quarry, I know Cooke probably did some raiding to survive until he found Vault 19, but most of the shit that's happened is other men's faults, not Cooke's.

In fact, Cooke himself seems overall scornful of Raiders as he describes the Fiends as "Like raiders, but worse - these guys are messed up on every damn chem there is. You can spot them by the horned skulls they wear as hats." and prior to his conviction he presumably was only attackin' NCR Military Supply Caravans.

No credit will be given to Cooke in the default Vault 19 ending, the direction he's heading if y'don't interact wi' Vault 19 "Armed with a wide array of improvised explosives and stolen weapons, the Vault 19 Powder Gang tormented the Mojave Wasteland for years. Citizens of the NCR were favorite targets, and they always suffered the worst fates" in that case he ends up just as much a Raider as Eddie, and the specification that they go after Citizens of the NCR and give them 'the worst fates' that's fucked up. Cooke knows not everyone in the NCR Lands is a willing citizen, but I guess the strain of keepin' the gang t'gether and fed made him lose that awareness in that timeline.

Cooke is needed for the gang to stay together too as the 'Cooke Dead' ending says "With Cooke dead, the Powder Gangers at Vault 19 fell apart. Those who weren't destroyed by the Courier fled into the hills or attempted to work their way back through the Mojave Wasteland. Few survived." so without him it all ends badly for those loyal to him.

The Lem Surrender endin' of Vault 19 isn't particularly relevant, as the guys turn 'emselves in, probably will never be released from prison an' Cooke leaves, never to be heard from again (probably runs out of luck an' dies to a Deathclaw or somethin').

Then we have the Khans endin' for Vault 19, where they join wi' the Khans. Its a sensible tactic, though it doesn't change no matter what else y'do with the Khans (also Lem can be convinced t' do it too, but that's also not important).

Cooke's logic is simple an' understandable "There aren't enough of us here to make a real impact on the NCR, and the Khans probably hate the NCR more than we do. Strength in numbers, they say." this also provides an explanation f'why Cooke ends up just a Raider otherwise. He never thinks to ally himself with Mojave-based factions, but its possible he thinks that they wouldn't accept him and his men due to the Raiders that use the Powder Gang and Escaped Convict names.

So, in the end it says "After the majority of the Vault 19 Powder Gangers joined the Great Khans, the weaker members scattered throughout the Mojave Wasteland. Though a few managed to erase their pasts, most never survived the journey." deeply unfortunate for those weaker members. You could write an interestin' story from the perspective of someone in that situation, actually... hmm, maybe another time.

However, sadly, this means that Cooke's revolution, no matter what, never gets off the ground. The Prison Break actively hurt the Mojave and Cooke's legacy to most who know of him would likely be "Guy behind the NCRCF Outbreak" rather than "Anti-NCR Revolutionary". Samuel Cooke was right, but circumstances beyond him meant his revolution never made it.

Also, he killed Philip Lem for understandable reasons, but I'm not gonna let that slide. He could've let Lem leave like he leaves if y'side wi' Lem. Like "Didn't have a choice. He was confusing the men, and I need to control them or we're just a bunch of disorganized idiots." is not an excuse, Cooke.

#fallout #new vegas #fallout new vegas #ncr #powder gangers #samuel cooke #philip lem

6 notes · View notes

cinamun · 2 years ago

Note

hey!! sorry if you've already answered this but i was just curious what kept you motivated to keep posting with you first started your simblr? i know numbers aren't everything and it's not even like i'm tryna get hella notes, i just wanna know if you have tips to like 😭😭😭 actually make mutuals to engage with and build a community and not feel like a flop when i post into the void <333 (ps luv luv LOVE ur story i check it everyday and it motivates me to open my game fr thank u for putting ur work out in the world!! ♥️)

Thank you so much friend! Its messages like this that keep me going! Trust me I sometimes feel like posts flop at times and while people always tell you not to compare your shit to other people's shit, you're gonna do it anyway. Its human nature. You gotta really love playing this game honestly. You gotta really love this broken ass game to keep playing and posting. Just keepin it real lol I hate this game but I love how great of a creative outlet it is, love how corny it is and I love that I can use it to do basically anything I want. My point here is you realy have to LIKE the things you put out. Don't put a story or edit out unless you love it.

As for mutuals, etc. I honestly think that stuff takes time to build up. I've been playing around in this community for several years so it takes time to find mutuals, etc. Especially when you don't create cc (deadass). Find a sims story you like or gameplay and comment on what's happening. I always think its weird when I see a story post with no replies or very few. That's the best part! Never hesitate to be the first reply. It might even have a ton of reblogs and likes, which is cool, its getting seen, but I always think getting those replies and getting to talk about your OCs and the thing that happened is what makes folks stick around.

What kept me motivated goes back to the above. I am literally a geek for this game. I had no idea what "numbers" were. I just wanted to show off my game and have fun with other nerds. I'm a straight goofball and it comes off when I write and I really enjoy making other people crack up like I do at these pixels. Follow tags that you like, and then find sims stuff you like from those tags and start following people. Go from there in terms of replying, sending asks, etc. You'll get a base of mutuals in no time, friend.

I hope all this made sense. I've only had one sip of coffee so my brain is operating at about .08%.

30 notes · View notes

jawnjendes · 5 years ago

Text

i should be running | shawn mendes

chapter 2/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: angst n smut. maybe uuuuhhhhhh lmk if you wanna see anything specific happen with these idiots?? could be smutty, angsty, or even fluffy or sumn. oh and let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist.

masterlist | playlist coming soon

"He might as well have pounced on you," Patrick said, eyes on the screen of his switch. "That look in his eyes… no wonder you're in so deep."

Annalise ignored him as her King Boo threw a red shell at his Dry Bones. That was her response to his statement. Still, her cheeks went hot and red recalling the way Shawn stared her down the other night. It was practically a reflex when it comes to that guy. It didn't really help that he was literally a few yards away.

The stars had a very irritating way of aligning when Annalise and Shawn were supposed to be separated. The one time Annalise decided to hang out with a friend outside of a classroom just so happened to be the same time Shawn did the exact same thing. Not to mention, he was having another impromptu jam session with Alessia, both sat on a picnic table out in the sun. It was the same table as the one from a few nights ago, but there were more people surrounding them. Oh, and Shawn was wearing a particularly tight black tanktop, so if Annalise stared enough his way she would be able to make out the pretty tattoo on the back of his arm.

She and Patrick were sitting under the shade of the biggest tree on the courtyard, wanting to be outside, but definitely not basking in the rare sunlight. Patrick won the Mario Kart race despite Annalise's best efforts. Blame the distraction who was playing guitar and singing audibly.

"Ooo, second place, Flowers," Patrick smugly said. "You've lost your edge."

"Oh, shut up. Let's smash now," Annalise said back, closing the current game.

"Really? In front of your mans?"

She looked up at him and narrowed her eyes. "Shut the fuck up."

They had that type of banter… before Annalise was in a relationship. Before everything else. Annalise was just too flustered and distracted by Mr. Arm Muscles to join in, so she annihilated Patrick at Smash Bros for three rounds.

There was a check in every two weeks. There was only one before the semester started, and it was very quick given that Annalise and Shawn were still living under the same roof. Now that there had been some proper physical separation, it was time to do things right. Annalise still had knot after knot forming in her stomach, though. For a split second, her mind went back to diverticulitis and flashbacks of being rolled around on a gurney invaded her mind. She shook it off and marched through the parking lot.

She agreed to meet at Shawn's apartment because the semester starting meant that holes were being burnt in their wallets. They couldn't afford a simple coffee shop hang out, and it was too public for something like this, anyway.

Annalise thought it would have been too awkward for any kind of touch when Shawn answered the door. However, he immediately took her in his arms and hugged her as tight as he could. It was already very different from their last check in.

To be blunt, she really fucking missed being held in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his middle, feeling the warmth consume her whole body. She missed this so much she could cry, but she had to mask it all. Couldn't have Shawn thinking she was having second thoughts about her decision.

Shawn wasn't one to hold back, though. He leaned back and held her hands as he led her inside his place. "I missed you so much. I miss coming home to you."

Annalise didn't know what to say. Shawn's facial features were soft and completely kissable, but she resisted by letting herself into the living room. Not much had changed here in the two weeks she was gone, although she did miss playing her Switch on that huge flat screen. She was still quiet though, and it gave Shawn more room to speak.

"See, this is still like a home to you! Oh, and I still have your key, since you left it here… uh, where did I put it?"

"Shawn," she finally said before he could dash into another room and create more distractions. She nodded towards the couch so he could sit with her.

He looked at her, and his face fell a little. His shoulders hunched as he walked around to the couch. He sat next to her and looked down at his lap.

Annalise tilted her head. "You okay?"

Shawn met her eyes, bemused. "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

"Wha- no!" she replied, shocked.

"So we're getting back together?"

"No…"

"Annie…"

"Don't call me that," she said seriously. Then she sighed. "We're checking in. I just wanna see how you're doing."

He shrugged and leaned back, far more relaxed now. "I'm still confused as to why we're doing this. That's all I've been trying to figure out lately."

"Okay, anyway… how are your classes? How's work."

"Annalise, I swear to god…" Shawn groaned, tilting his head back. Then he looked her dead in the eyes and leaned forward. "Do you wanna break up? You moved out-"

"Because I have a dorm."

"-and you left your key behind!"

"Because I don't live here."

Shawn paused, and his expression went from aggravated to just plain sad. "You won't even answer my texts. And don't say it's because you're busy. I know that's not true."

Whatever sympathy was building up was gone. Annalise narrowed her eyes. "What does that mean?"

"You think I haven't seen you playing games with that guy in the courtyard?" he asked. "You've never wanted to sit outside with me. And now you suddenly don't have time to answer my texts. C'mon Ann, I'm not an idiot."

She pushed her tongue into her cheek as she listened to that shit. Then, she spoke coldly. "First of all, that guy is Patrick and he's only a friend. Second, I don't know what to say to someone who only says 'I miss you' every ten seconds."

"So you don't miss me at all?"

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is the fucking point?" Shawn got to his feet, completely exasperated. "What exactly are we doing here? Because I don't know what's happening anymore! Am I losing you? Are you gonna come back to me? What the fuck is happening here, Ann?"

She buried her face in her hands for a moment and took a deep breath. She did know just how much Shawn did not like the separation idea, but she hadn't realized just how shaken up he still was.

"I want you to make sure you have your priorities in check."

"What, like I'm some stupid teenager?" Shawn snapped.

Clearly, he was irrational. Annalise wasn't going to try to force him to see it her way, it didn't work when the separation idea was first brought up over a month ago. Sighing, she got up and silently went for the door.

"Ann, honey," Shawn called, following after her. "Wait, wait!" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into him.

She faced him once again, giving him a look as she yanked her arm back.

"I'm sorry," he told her in a much calmer tone. "Explain it to me again."

"I just don't wanna see you lose your focus for other things," Annalise said. "We really went through it over the summer, remember? I don't wanna be the only thing you worry about."

"Well, I know you're strong, little fighter. But I love you too much to not worry. And I worry even more now that we're on this stupid separation thing."

Annalise kept herself from laughing. "You seem fine during your impromptu mini concerts on the courtyard."

"Yeah, because singing is the other love of my life."

"Mm, you seem comfy with that Alessia girl too."

Shawn raised his eyebrows, now amused. "Jealous?"

Now she had to laugh. "I could ask you the same thing."

"I never knew about Patrick until last week."

"You never asked." Besides, she may have left her other friends in the dark when she got into this relationship. More reasons for the separation. "And I never knew about Alessia."

"Because she's new. You sure you're not jealous?" Shawn asked with a smirk.

Annalise scoffed. "I don't get jealous."

"You told me you don't cry either, but uh…"

Oof. He knows her too well.

She smiled stiffly. "I'll see you again in two weeks."

"You don't have to. You can stay." Shawn placed his hands on her shoulders. "Stay."

"Separation is good," Annalise told him, cupping his face and loving the way he leaned into the touch. "We can't spend every minute together, I think this last summer proved that."

Shawn stared her down for a moment, his big hand moving to hold her wrist. He really tried to understand why all this was happening. He really tried to find other reasons besides the scary idea that his girl wanted to leave him. The priorities thing, the not losing focus thing, the fact that they spent too much time together over the summer… it really smelled like bullshit. Maybe she was slipping through his fingers, and maybe he had to fight before she was completely gone.

"Can I at least kiss you before you go?" he asked, his voice small and soft.

Over the last month, Annalise thought she had done well with keeping a distance and being on her own. She was regaining her own compromised independence and getting back to being a strong lady. She was good at convincing herself that she didn't need Shawn at her side all the time.

Turns out, she's just a giant sucker.

Annalise really should have known better than to do the check in here. It was way too private, too much room for certain things to happen. Shawn kissed her softly once and was about to pull back, but her hands went to the back of his neck and kept their lips together. Without missing a beat, he walked her backwards and trapped her between his body and the wall. His hands planted on either side of her head, practically towering over her as his tongue went into her mouth.

All logic and inhibitions went out the door in less than a second. It was like they were reuniting after being on opposite ends of the planet. It was like this was the last time they would ever get a moment like this again. Annalise slid her hands down his torso, feeling the heat of his body through his white tee. When she locked her arms around his shoulders, Shawn bent a little to grab the backs of her thighs and hook them around his hips. It didn’t take long for Annalise to groan into his mouth when he circled his hips into hers. It certainly didn’t take long for Shawn to get hard in his jeans either. Without breaking the kiss, he walked them both into his bedroom and kicked the door closed behind him.

It was a mess of wrinkling bed sheets and clothes flying to the floor. Annalise's ripped leggings and Shawn's t-shirt made it off their bodies, and then he grabbed her shoulder and roughly pushed her onto her back. Both of their hearts pounded as he crawled on top of her and attached their lips together again.

They didn't even make it to the pillows. Shawn was trailing wet kisses along her neck, his fingers hooking into her cotton underwear. In one swift motion, he pulled the measly fabric down her legs. There wasn't any room for slow, sensual touching and building each other up. They were already as stressed and needy as could be. Annalise was just aching for him between her legs, and she pulled on his waist to bring him closer, her stomach flipping at the heat on his skin.

Suddenly, Shawn paused and held himself up on his elbows. His lips were shiny, swollen, and absolutely gorgeous. Annalise couldn't help but trace the bottom one with her thumb. Then, their eyes met and it threatened to spoil the heat of the moment. Shawn's eyes were soft and sparkling, the rough neediness gone out of nowhere. He usually had that look when things would move slower, when he was about to bare his soul and spill a bunch of sweet nothings. He looked at her face and gently stroked her cheek, making her skin tingle so much she wanted to scratch it away.

"My beautiful girl," he said softly.

It was sweet, but Annalise did not want sweet at the moment. Her fingers went into his hair and gently tugged at the pretty locks, keeping a sultry eye on him.

"Fuck me."

A smirk tugged at the corner of Shawn's mouth before he leaned down to kiss her again. "Condom?"

She nodded and then proceeded to take off her lace cardigan while he went to the nightstand drawer. Her hands trembled as she dropped more of her clothes onto the floor, leaving her completely naked. She rolled onto her front, watching Shawn pull off his jeans and briefs in one go. Her mouth watered just from the sight of his naked body, and she wiggled her eyebrows at him.

Shawn looked into her brown eyes, licking his lips. His eyes trailed over her back and plump ass, his cock twitching at the thought of taking her that way. But he hasn't been with her intimately in far too long, and he needed to be able to hold her and see her face. Yes, it's cheesy as fuck but that's what happens when you're stupidly in love with the goth chick. Yes, Shawn was very stupidly in love with Annalise.

He circled his finger with a cocky smirk, signaling her to turn onto her back. When she obliged, he crawled on top of her with the intention of fully warming her up and building up her high, but the way she kissed him and wrapped her legs around his waist indicated that she was ready. The way that she whispered in between kisses for him to fill her up was also a good indicator as well.

"Whatever you want, baby," he told her as he grabbed his base and slowly inserted himself.

It didn't take long for her soft, sweet panting to fill the room. Her fingernails dug into Shawn's back, and he snaked his arm around her shoulders, holding her as close as he could. Their noses touched and his necklace dangled in the valley of her breasts, it felt familiar and good in a way. Resting his head in the crook of her neck, Shawn let out a slow deep breath and appreciated the feeling of their bodies connecting. Slowly but surely, he started to gently rock his hips against hers, wanting this to last.

Ann whined in the back of her throat, raking her fingers down his back. "Harder… Mmm, ruin me."

Shawn picked his head up and looked down at her. She was biting her lip, and pressing down on his back, wanting him the way she said. And who was he to deny her?

With a deep breath, he picked himself up on his knees and held her waist, pistoning his hips as quickly as he could. A groan sounded from deep in his chest, his eyes fluttering shut. He breathed out a soft "fuck" feeling her clench around him.

"Mm, fuck yes!" Ann cried out, grabbing at the sheets above her. "Oh, fuck, fuck me!"

The bed creaked and hit the wall repeatedly, mixing in with the sounds the two of them were making. Shawn couldn't help but feel smug as he watched Ann's assertive and bold demeanor crumble underneath him. Only times like these did he see her fall completely at his mercy, and god, it turned him on so much. He absolutely loved that he could bring her down to this level, make her feel so good she was rendered incoherent. He slid his hand up her body, stopping for a moment to grab her breast. Then, Ann took hold of his wrist, her eyes wide and her bottom lip jutting out. They both knew what to do. Shawn leaned over her again to properly wrap his fist around her neck.

"Like that, baby?" he asked between huffs of breath, trying to keep his movements consistent. "You like it when I fucking choke you? You like getting fucked like this, you dirty fucking girl?"

Ann mumbled and sputtered under his hold, attempting to nod her head.

"What about this?" he egged on, moving his free hand down in between them. He rubbed quick circles into her clit, causing her to clench around him even more. "Ooh, fuck. Yeah, you like that, you fucking love that."

Her mouth was open, but no sound came out. Shawn decided he liked it better when she was verbal about how he made her feel, so he moved his hand from her neck to the side of her face. Something of a snarl came out of him as he staggered his thrusts, and he found himself grabbing her chin, slightly squishing her cheeks. His nose touched hers, hot breath on her lips before he tasted her tongue. His fingers were relentless on her clit, the feeling so good he almost wanted to go down there and suck it into his mouth until she was writhing.

The sounds coming out of her were just as good, though. She spoke, sounding absolutely wrecked and just the way Shawn liked her to be. “Don’t stop… please don’t stop…”

“Mm, anything you want, baby…” he mumbled against the corner of her mouth.

It was almost ironic because Ann was the one on her back getting fucked senseless, but Shawn was ready to do anything for her. All she had to do was ask. Who was more submissive here?

He hovered over her, watching her tits bounce as he pounded into her. He watched the hair at the top of her head get messier and messier with every move. He really had to admire the fact that her intense winged liner had stayed intact this entire time. Only his Ann…

"Fuck, you look so good like this," Shawn mumbled, brows knitted. He couldn't stop himself from rambling, now feeling as fucked as she did. "God baby, you're so fucking good at taking my cock… You're so good to me… Fuck…"

Ann moved her small hands up his chest, wrapping the chain of his necklace around her finger. The look on her face changed from absolutely wrecked to something more serious. Her free hand tugged at the hair on the nape of his neck, and then she was tilting her head back and panting wildly.

"I'm close," she warned, squeezing her eyes shut. "Don't stop, I'm gonna come!"

Shawn could feel it too, and his heart nearly fell out of his body. He felt the heavenly pulses around his cock and rubbed at her clit just to make it feel that much better for her. "Fuck yeah, give it to me honey…"

She let out a noise that was both the cutest and sexiest thing he's ever heard. Her voice went up several octaves as she cried out, and her entire body twitched the way Shawn liked to see it. He growled through his teeth, thriving in the tight pulsing around his cock and the burning scratch marks on his back and shoulders. He thrust as hard as he could, needing to reach his own high now that Ann had hers. Roughly, he moved her wrists from his shoulders and pinned them above her head, his jaw going slack as he let himself go. Steady pulses of cum spilled into the condom, and Shawn tilted his head back, his orgasm so good and sweet he couldn't make any sound. He only panted and erratically gave a few more thrusts until he was spent.

Sweat coated both of their bodies, and their heavy breathing was the only sound in the air. Shawn pulled out and rolled onto his back, his eyelids heavy and body melting into the mattress. He smiled contently and then tapped Ann's wrist.

"C'mere..."

The two of them crawled up to the pillows and went under the covers, both so sleepy and content that they didn't care about the damp spot. Shawn held onto Ann's hand, waiting for her to desperately crawl into her arms. She was always shamelessly in need of cuddles and affection post orgasm, and Shawn loved every bit of it because it meant he could hold her and nose at her hair as she slept. What he couldn't put into words was put into all the chaste little touches he gave her. And she lapped it up and let herself be touched and loved every time without fail.

Shawn fell asleep before he could realize Ann was holding herself back.

It doesn't matter if it's the same night or the morning after, the walk was still shameful no matter what. Annalise was just glad that Shawn fell asleep on his side of the bed and not on her chest like he typically did. It was much easier for her to slip out of bed, put her clothes back on, and sneak out of the apartment. The knots in her stomach didn't let up once she was in the car, though. They did agree that this was a check in after all, and she could honestly say... dick still bomb.

Annalise got back to campus well after ten o'clock. It wasn't that late, but she still felt off, like she was sneaking back into her parents' house after going to a party she was told not to attend. She felt both thrilled and terrified that she did something very wrong, and the evidence was all there in her shaky legs.

Of course, Stella was sitting in the armchair facing the door when Annalise finally made it back. She wasn't alone, though. Camila was on the tiny sofa, and she perked up.

"Hey, girl," she greeted with a cheeky grin.

Stella had a knowing smile on her face, making Annalise feel very exposed. As much as she tried to fix her sexed up appearance in the car, it was easy to tell what Annalise had been up to from the amount of time she was gone.

"So, is Shawnnalise back on?" Stella asked in a teasing voice.

"They were off?" Camila asked in shock, looking back and forth between the two girls.

"That is the actual worst name I've ever heard," Annalise replied, and then her heart stopped as her phone buzzed in her hand. Without another word, she dashed into her bedroom.

"You owe me details!" Stella called after her.

Annalise didn't say anything as she shut the door and leaned against it for a moment. She sighed and let her book bag drop onto the floor, and then she bent down to untie her platform sneakers and took them off. Her phone buzzed again, and it made her insides heavy.

Honestly, she had enough guilt on her shoulders. Did she really have to add more to her plate by tapping that ass and running away? Heart in her throat, Annalise looked at the notifications.

The newest text was from the gaming club group chat. Patrick was asking when everyone was available to go to Bart. The nerves came down for a split second before reading the other text.

"Where are you?"

Annalise opened the text too, so she definitely couldn't just ignore him. She sent back some excuse about having an assignment due at midnight, and then she let the anxiety and guilt consume her for the rest of the night.

________

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @shawmndes @wronglanemendes

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x goth gf #3 days in a row i know!!!!!!!!!#but after this we slowin it down laid ease!!!!#i wont be overwhelming with that sweet shawnblr content anymore #truth be told this is how far i got in me notebooks lol #anyways tysm for readin #tysm for the lov this series has been receiving #its keepin me motivated

61 notes · View notes

sereia1313 · 2 years ago

Text

Banner provided by the always talented @cakeit0n for the @sesskagddn April 2022 prompts.

Summary: Kagome's power begins to wean, and she struggles to come to terms with the cause.

Read it on Ao3, Dokuga, and FFnet.

Inspiration: "If Our Love Is Wrong" by Callum Scott

Count

Kagome ducked, cursing as her arrow flew wide of its target. If not for Inuyasha's quick maneuvering, the boar youkai would've impaled her.

"Get your head in the game, K'gome!" he groused, resting Tessaiga on his shoulder. "I'm startin' to lose count of all the times I've had to save yer ass."

Kagome reminded herself that maiming her best friend would be more hassle than it was worth.

"Sorry," she said, picking up her arrows, "I've got a lot of my mind."

Inuyasha snorted. "Keepin' yerself alive is more important than anything the bastard has to offer."

A dark blush spilled onto Kagome's cheeks, but she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "He deserves a proper answer."

Patience

Patience had never been Kagome's strong point, and she had a feeling it wasn't Sesshoumaru's either, but she wasn't going to rush something as important as courting.

Especially with how well things were going.

The attraction was still new, fresh, her face breaking out into a bright smile every time he entered the village. Even when he was there for Rin, his youki would reach for her, a gentle caress to her senses as she waited her turn.

He'd been serious from the start, but Kagome had been wary, both for her sake and everyone else's. The Western Lord had persevered though, giving her time to come to terms with the fact that there wasn't an ulterior motive.

Sesshoumaru wanted her.

Control

"Yer control is slippin'."

"It is not." Kagome shot an arrow at him to prove her point, but just like the last, it flew wide; Inuyasha didn't even have to move to avoid it.

"What I tell ya? Yer head's gone to mush ever since—"

"Finish that sentence, and I will set you on fire."

Inuyasha sighed, then sheathed Tessaiga. "I'm not the only one who's noticed, K'gome. It's like you fell through the well all over again."

Kagome would've stomped her foot if she wasn't thinking the same thing. Her powers had been fluctuating to the point of being uncontrollable, and it was starting to affect her ability to keep people safe.

Ignite

"You are troubled."

A sigh escaped her lips, her shoulders slumping as Kagome threw a stone into the bubbling river. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only because you are trying so hard to conceal it." Sesshoumaru sat down beside her, and she leaned against him, taking comfort in his presence.

"Inuyasha thinks you're corrupting me."

A pale eyebrow rose. "You are the one who initiated—"

Kagome covered his mouth with both hands, a blush igniting her cheeks. "Not like that!��We all know that a miko's power being tied to her purity is an old wives' tale." She felt him smirk a second before his tongue slid along her palm.

Embark

"We agreed to embark on this journey together, Kagome," he said once she'd released his mouth. "If you are having second thoughts—"

"No!" She shook her head vehemently. "No. I want this. I want you. I just…" She gazed at the river, willing it to give her guidance. Sesshoumaru's hand settled over hers, his steadfast support a balm to her weary soul.

If it was only temporary.

She was at a crossroads, the future bright and promising. And yet she still found herself hesitating, the past screaming as responsibility clawed at her back.

"Who am I if I can't protect people?"

Float

Her guilt continued to gnaw at her, tempering her reiki even during her deepest meditation. Normally, clearing her mind came easily, lifting the weight of duty from her shoulders and giving her the chance to relax.

But the shame of not being able to assist in the latest attack was a bitter pill to swallow, and Kagome flopped onto the grass, the clouds above seeming to taunt her as they floated by.

"Ye dwell too much, child. It clouds your judgement." Kaede didn't bother to sit down, her cane wobbling as she stepped closer.

"Easy for you to say," Kagome grumbled. "Kirara isn't nursing a sprained foot and a gauge in her side because of you."

Cast

"Perhaps not," the older miko lamented, "but I also know the kit would be worse for wear had ye not interfered."

It should've been an easy extermination, the hoard had barely been worth mentioning, which was why Kagome had tried to take them on herself, her need to prove herself outweighing any remaining common sense.

If Shippou hadn't been passing by on Kirara—

Shaking her head, she drew her knees up to her chin. "I should've been paying better attention. Been more prepared." Sesshoumaru would be disgusted with how much she'd had to rely on others, considering the amount of time he'd spent training her.

"Cast aside your doubt, child. The rest will follow."

Lift

Kagome lifted her head to the sky, Kaede's words lingering. The clouds continued to move, unaware of her plight, and she wondered if the gods had ever been conflicted in their choices.

She snorted. They probably had, then after making a mistake, had likely claimed it was part of their master plan.

What was her plan?

What did she want?

Youki slid up her spine, and she scrambled to her feet, running towards its owner as he welcomed her with open arms.

"I had thought to heal your wounds."

Kagome grabbed fistfuls of his hair, pulling him down to claim his mouth.

Ascend

Sesshoumaru returned the kiss with vigour, Kagome's heart ascending to new heights as he shuddered under her assault.

"I'm sorry," she whispered when they finally pulled back for air.

"Whatever for?"

She struggled to put it into words, trying to convey with her body what her mind could not as she pulled him closer.

This is what she wanted. He was what she wanted. And damn anything and anyone who stood in her way.

Including herself.

Going up on tiptoe, Kagome brushed her lips along his jawline, nipping at his skin as she got closer to his ear. "I love you."

Begin

Accepting her feelings for Sesshoumaru set in motion a slew of new beginnings that Kagome found herself unprepared for.

Jaken referring to her as 'Lady' being at the top of her list.

But it also brought things into perspective. No longer was she second-guessing herself when it came to her place in the pack. And once that thought became cemented in her mind, Kagome's reiki returned with a vengeance, each arrow meeting its mark.

Pride radiated off her intended as they moved in tandem, power colliding—combining—before decimating the youkai that threatened the peace of the Shiro.

Halt

"Ever planning on admitting you were wrong?"

Inuyasha halted in his movements. "I was right that it was the bastard's fault."

A pebble ricocheted off his shoulder. "It had nothing to do with demon corruption."

"Keh." He went back to sharpening his sword.

"Loving someone is only wrong if it hurts you."

"You sure it ain't doing that?" His subdued tone stopped her from throwing another pebble.

Kagome gave him a reassuring smile. "Absolutely not. I think I'm actually more powerful now."

Her friend sighed, then grabbed the hilt of Tessaiga, the weapon transforming in a flare of power. "Care to test it out?"

Grinning, Kagome jumped to her feet, not even bothering to grab her bow. "You're on."

#sesskag #apr22skddn #discord drabble night #ddn042022 #sesskag drabbles #sesskag fanfiction #sesskag fanfic #cakeiton #creator: cakeiton #creator: sereia1313 #sereia1313 #better late than never

9 notes · View notes

hargrove-mayfields · 3 years ago

Text

Day two of the Horror on Cherry Lane Challenge! Today’s prompt is Rib Cage.

warnings for mentions of disordered eating.

It’s been a problem since he was young. Momma’s little projection of insecurity and status.

Steve doesn’t eat. Not when he can help it. And he’s good at hiding it too.

He wears concealer to cover the bags under his eyes. He goes and gets highlights in his hair to hide how dull and greasy it is. He brushes his teeth at least six times a day to hide the damage from the purging. And he buys his pants a size too big to pretend he’s not getting thinner.

But as good as he is at pretending, Billy’s even better at reading people.

Since November and getting put in his place by his step sister, Billy’s been an observer. The role of instigator went to Tommy while Billy sits atop his throne and just, takes it in. A dynamic not so different to what Steve once had with Tommy.

But it means he notices everything that goes down in his kingdom, and especially everything concerning Steve Harrington.

Steve doesn’t even notice at first that Billy has noticed him, not from the little remarks and the stares that last a little too long. It’s obvious, but he doesn’t get it. Doesn’t see what it is that draws his attention to him.

Not until Billy steps down from his royal court to confront him in the locker rooms.

Steve’s been avoiding the showers after practice for a long time. It’s bad enough being surrounded by that many other boys, all more fit than him in one way or another, but as if that isn’t enough, he has to show himself too. The second he takes his shirt off, everyone’ll know what he’s up to.

He’s proud of his body. He’s proud of having earned his beauty. But he’s humiliated by the questions. Be it the faux concern or the mockery he’s more than used to, he just wants nothing to do with it.

So he lingers, on the court talking to coach, pretending to be searching for something in his bag. Anything to keep him from having to face the nagging.

But Billy notices, because of course he does. And he sits on the bench between the lockers all smug like. Waiting for Steve to run out of excuses so he can corner him.

It works, after Steve digs through his locker for some imaginary object for the dozenth time, he sighs and turns to Billy, “You gonna keep starin’ at me, Hargrove? What’re you even still doing here?”

“Coach asked me to stay’n lock up. What’s your problem, man?” Billy hums casually, like he doesn’t even care how much he’s bothering Steve. It’s something he’s probably used to by now anyways.

If only he knew what that indifferent assailed routine did to Steve. He buries that for now though, to argue, “You seem to be the one with a problem.”

Billy snarks right back, “Ain’t wrong about that. But I was watchin’ you at practice. What’s wrong with your ribs?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re crossin’ your arms over your chest. You’re breathin’ all shallow like. You won’t even take your shirt off and get in the damn shower. Someone kick your ass Harrington?”

“No, no. That’s.. not it.”

“Uh-huh. Say the word n’I’ll put a stop to it. S’it Hagan? I told him to get off your case, man” Billy tries to convince him into admitting something, not knowing exactly what it is, but Steve shuts him down again, trying not to think too much about the concern in the other boys tone and expression.

“Seriously, dude. It’s just.. it’s me.”

“Right. ‘Cause you knocked your own self around like that. Lemme see it, Harrington.” Billy motions vaguely to Steve’s ribs, where the imaginary injury is, making his chest seize, flinching back from the touch that doesn’t land.

“No. No fucking way.”

“C’mere.” Before Steve can tell him no again, Billy steps forward and touches his ribs. His face looks sort of defeated when he doesn’t make Steve flinch or wince, clearly wrong, as Steve already knew, about the presence of a bruise.

His fingers gently linger though, tracing over each bone as they protrude through pale skin. It sends a shiver through Steve’s spine, and a spike of anger into his heart. Before Billy even opens his mouth, he knows he’s seen through him.

Knows Billy noticed that, just a month shy of the year anniversary of the fight, his body has changed far too drastically for it to be natural, or otherwise normal. His face softens in a way that’s so distinctly not-Billy, it makes Steve want to never see him that way again, “Steve..”

“Fuck off.”

But it’s too late, “Why’re you doin’ it?”

“Leave me alone, Hargrove. For real.”

“Don’t be stubborn, man. Lemme help you.”

“You don’t even know me, douchebag. I’m fine so just stop it.” Steve insists, panic rising in his chest, making his breath come out short and his throat real tight.

Billy doesn’t relent though.

“Yeah? Well I do know you’re starving yourself.” Billy counters, his tone surprisingly animated. It’s almost make Steve feel special if Billy wasn’t being an ass, “Used to think the school lunches were just below you. Thought your ass was too expensive for cold pizza like the rest of us ate. But I get it now. S’why you don’t drink either isn’t it?”

“Okay, you’ve been stalking me?”

“Just been keepin’ an eye on my competition. N’I don’t much like it when my competition starts gettin’ too depressed to even put up a damn fight.” It’s obvious Billy’s using that as a cover for something deeper that Steve doesn’t get, wishing Billy would just come out and say it already.

“Well I’m not much of a threat. Never was.” He prompts, but what Billy responds with instead instead is, “Exactly, and whose fault is that?”

Steve raises his eyebrows, surprised by the venom behind Billy's words. He’s even more surprised when Billy tears into him again, “M’serious. You’re wasting yourself away. It’s no damn wonder you can’t keep up anymore.”

That stings. “I thought you were getting better, but you’re clearly still an asshole.”

“And I thought you were alright to begin with. But I guess we’re both wrong.”

“So what the hell do you want me to say? Thank you my savior for savin’ me from myself?”

“Would you let me?” It’s not the answer Steve is expecting, the way Billy’s been acting since he confronted him, and he makes sure he knows, asking, “What?”

“Would you let me help you? Save you from what you’re doing?” Billy tries again, and it’s even more blindsiding this time.

“Like you even could. You said it yourself, Hargrove. I’m kicking my own ass here. You can’t help me.”

“I bet I could. You need someone in your corner.” Steve opens his mouth to argue, but Billy cuts him off quickly, “That curlyheaded kid don’t count. You need someone to look out for you. I’d let you be King again if it stopped this from happening.”

“But why would you?”

“I got my reasons.”

“Then just fucking tell me. If it’s good, I might think about it.”

“Look, I like you Harrington. I ain’t gonna stand by and watch you do this to yourself. Why’d you think I was checkin’ up on you in the first place?”

“To rub it in my fucking face that I’m unstable or some shit. Try to get dirt on me so you can make my life even more miserable.”

“What do I gotta do to show ya I really care then?” Billy sighs, but Steve hardly has the mind to detect his frustration, because he’s suddenly hung up by this declaration, simple to Billy but astroninal to him, “Wait- care? You mean, you don’t just like me in the same way everyone likes King Steve?”

“No. I meant it in the other way, Steve. The way I’m not so good at saying with words. The way I’ve trying to show you since we made things right. But I guess I’m not really good at this crush shit either.” Billy’s so bashful, so genuine, Steve knows he’s being honest, but some part of him can’t process it still.

“Oh.” Steve shakes his head, can’t believe it long enough to even look Billy in the eyes and deny it, “No-No you don’t. You’re fucking with me.”

“I do and I’m not. And that’s exactly why I’m not gonna sit around and watch this- this slow death you’re putting yourself through.”

Suddenly, this whole conversation goes from frustrating and pissing him off, to embarrassing. Like Billy's perception of him somehow changed his own. It’s funny how he was willing to argue with an enemy, but the second that other motive came into play, Steve finds himself flustered and trying to cover his tracks with a declaration of, “It’s not even that bad.”

But Billy continues to be a sweet talker, and he begs, all gentle and considerate, “Then let me fix it before it is. Please, Steve?”

“Okay.. okay.” Steve nods, biting the corner of his nail as he thinks, regretting it and shoving his hands in his pocket instead. He starts, after a moment of trying to collect his thoughts, “Just- Billy?”

“Yeah?”

“I like you too. That’s the only reason I’m accepting this.”

“Fine by me. How ‘bout I follow you back to yours tonight? Keep an eye on you still. Keep my promise too.” Billy offers, tone somewhat hopeful.

In response, Steve smiles shakily, so nervous his heart pounds in his chest. His ribs feel weak against its rhythm, like his chest could cave in from the combination of nerves and admiration, at knowing someone actually cared for him. He’s never felt more fragile than he does for Billy.

“I would like that a lot, Billy.”

#CherryLaneChallenge #harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #billy x steve #ej writer #story by ej!#tw eating disorder #we’re gonna pretend this isn’t over an hour late for day two because ive been too busy to post this okay

49 notes · View notes

strawbeebo · 4 years ago

Text

~♡ Shio, Shoyu, Miso ♡~ [3/3]

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x Fem! (She/Her) Reader

Warnings: SPOILERS!!! the spoiler is implied in the anime already and I think is coming up this week’s episode or the next, however I still want to put a warning just so y’all know!

Words: 3.6K

Genre: Fluff

A/N: the final chapter is here! hope ya enjoy

TAG LIST: @fairytailwzard @itadaklmasu @thebiggestnaturaldisaster @drealugo31 @minnieminnie00-got7

As always, if you enjoy this and want to see more of my work, PLEASE consider reblogging as it’s the best way for my works to get around and keepin’ me motivated to make more for y’all!

PART 1 | PART 2

When Fushiguro didn’t show up the following week, you didn’t pay much mind. The second week of his absence wasn’t that strange either. By the third, however, you were starting to wonder if maybe something happened, but your hopefulness filled your mind with assurances that he was probably just busy, maybe he had some sort of exams coming up or maybe he had just been too tired to make his way into town. Still, your hopefulness could only lift your spirits for so long and after a month of not seeing him, your mind couldn’t help but go to places of self doubt. Had you been too forward? You thought you had done a decent job of hiding your feelings, but maybe you weren’t so clever after all. Maybe he realized and got nervous and, not wanting to have to tell you off, decided it would be best to just cut your friendship short before things got awkward. Or maybe he just was never that interested in your friendship, or rather what you assumed was friendship. Maybe your lovesick mind was just filling in the blanks, putting meaning into every small smile he’d send you or every accidental touch even when he was nothing more than a polite customer.

Another week and all you felt was embarrassment at the thought that you let your emotions get this out of hand. The two of you were barely friends, he was just a nice guy who made conversation with someone his age while getting a meal. There was nothing special, in fact you probably didn’t even really like him like that. Most of your friends were in relationships and it was making you a little bit of a hopeless romantic is all. You probably would’ve latched onto the first attractive person who gave you attention that could be perceived as romantic interest. Every part of your heart and mind were telling you that it was all just one thing or another, anything but a serious crush, and yet despite all that time and overthinking, eventually you had to admit defeat and throw up the white flag.

You liked Fushiguro. A lot. You loved his passion for his friends that he tried so hard to hide under a grumpy frown, you loved how he always seemed to put others first, you loved his goofy hair that he complained he could never get to lay flat, you loved everything about him to bits. However now it seemed like you had waited too long, decided to avoid the embarrassment of admitting to liking someone so much even though you hadn’t known him for long and now you were stuck with these feelings and didn’t even have the option to let them out. Another week passed and you had made one final decision: if you ever saw him again you were going to ask for his number and then ask him out. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. You thought your chances were slim of you seeing him again and even slimmer of him returning your feelings, but it was actually quite the opposite, the problem was that things for Fushiguro had just been...complicated.

He couldn’t even think of a way to explain the rollercoaster that had been his life lately, especially not to someone like you who knew nothing about what his life was really like. Hell, the past month and a half had moved so quickly even he was sure he had missed some of it. A few big fights were one thing, but losing Itadori after having the shit beat out of him by Sukuna was like getting hit with a ton of bricks. It didn’t feel real, it felt like a mistake, as if somehow he had dreamt up the whole thing. But it was real, he knew that from the look on Kugisaki’s face, and probably his own too, when they received the final news. He didn’t cry, hell he didn’t really know what to feel, and for a while you were gone from his thoughts just like everything else. He was moving on autopilot for a long time, only starting to get himself back on track when he was introduced to the second years once more as the two classes, or what remained of them, worked on some training for the upcoming challenge against Kyoto's students.

It was then that thoughts of you slowly began to weasel their way back into his mind, only now he didn’t know where he was going with those thoughts and feelings. It made him feel a bit sick at first, or maybe he just felt guilty that despite losing his friend he couldn’t help but think about you amidst the aftermath, but he couldn’t do anything to stop it. At night when he’d try to fall asleep he’d think about Itadori and naturally his thoughts would drift to you. He’d tell himself that you probably couldn’t begin to understand his own self made hell that was his life and, even if you could, he wouldn’t want to drag you into something that could turn so dark in a matter of minutes. From there he moved on to convincing himself that maybe the two of you could just be friends and he could go back to how things were, but that just made him realize you’d be needing an explanation as to why Itadori wasn’t around anymore, plus he already tried to whole ‘acting like his feelings were strictly platonic’ thing and it never worked out once he was actually with you. So things stayed that way, with him having you on his mind whenever he would drift from thinking about school, but not actually doing anything about his situation. See, he thought he was getting back into a normal groove until once again his world was flipped over on its head.

Itadori was back. He was seemingly happier than ever and, y’know, without a giant hole in his chest. Not only that, but he had been back since only a few days after his ‘death’ and it was Gojō’s decision to keep him hidden until then. If Fushiguro could’ve, he would have beaten the ever living shit out of both of them, but there were more important things at hand so both he and Kugisaki were a bit forced to accept this new reality, act like they hadn’t been torn up by losing Itadori, and move on. And move on they did, and on and on and on. More unexpected turns of events, more fights, more questions and curses and all sorts of inexplicable things until finally, for a moment, they could breathe. And of course, just like any other time when his mental space wasn’t filled to the brim with more dangerous and serious matters, his mind drifted back to you.

It had been about two months now since he had seen you, maybe more, and yet now he was more hesitant to visit you then he had been before. Itadori, however, was not, and he had a feeling it might be a good idea to pay you a visit without the company of his friends and that’s exactly what he did. The two of you talked for a bit as he ate, obviously not about the...odd events of his life, but there was one thing that even he couldn’t dismiss. First it was how excited you were to see him when he first walked in, then it was the look of disappointment on your face when you asked if Fushiguro was joining him and he said no. You tried to hide it, maybe you didn’t want him to feel bad that you were more looking forward to seeing Fushiguro rather than him, but he could tell regardless. You went on to explain that you hadn’t seen him in months and while you didn’t say how much you missed him or tell him anything about your revelation of your crush on his friend, he could tell that something was up. Still, you talked with him a bit more, wished him well, and he went on his way, practically making a beeline for Fushiguro’s room the second he got home.

His incessant knocking was more than enough to bring Fushiguro’s concentration on the book he was reading to a grinding halt and he could tell before even opening the door that it was probably Itadori.

“What.” He asked, making zero effort to hide his annoyance as he opened the door to see his beaming friend.

“Guess what! I went and saw (Y/N)!”

Your name alone was enough to cause his eyes to widen and a wide range of questions and emotions to fly through his head. It wasn’t that he had forgotten about you, god knows that’s far from true, but he had sort of...pushed you back. Figured if he procrastinated or didn’t think about this one little issue for long enough that maybe it would go away, but Itadori just made sure that wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

“You what?”

“I said ‘I went and saw (Y/N)’! Do you need to get your hearing checked?”

“Why?” Was all he could ask, catching himself before he managed to ask his list of questions. Were you okay? Were you mad? Did you even care? Itadori simply gave a shrug in response, putting his hand under his chin as if he were thinking very hard on what he should say.

“Well I just figured it’s been a while since I’ve seen her, I like her a lot y’know, she seems cool.” He spoke, missing the way Fushiguro’s eye twitched at the notion of Itadori ‘liking her a lot’. “She seemed kinda sad too, she got real excited when I walked in, but seemed pretty disappointed when I told her you weren’t with me. She said she hasn’t seen you in months, what’s up with that man?”

For a moment his heart jumped at the prospect of you missing him, but then he was left with guilt just as quickly.

“We’ve been busy.” He muttered, already knowing that was partially bullshit. He had been busy before, but he had a good amount of recuperating free time over the past two weeks that he spent properly avoiding you and his feelings for you.

“I guess…” Itadori hummed.

From their second or third visit to see you, he had a tiny suspicion that Fushiguro had taken a little bit of an interest in you, but judging by his reaction even he could guess that there was a significant amount more than just a ‘little’ interest.

“You should go see her.” He said, quite matter-of-factly, “I mean we’ve got some free time with it being summer and all. She’d probably like that a lot. Besides, you only live once right? Well- ok I guess that’s not right for me to say but you get what I mean.”

Fushiguro rolled his eyes and gave him a short “Yeah.” in response and since Itadori had said all he really wanted to say, he gave him a goodbye shortly after that before making his way to his own room, leaving Fushiguro alone with his thoughts. He didn't want to get his hopes up as he tried to think this through without losing his head. Itadori said you seemed sad and that he only assumed you had missed him and if he knew Itadori, he knew he wasn’t always the best at reading the room. Besides, even if he was right and you really did want to see him, that didn’t mean you thought anything of him aside from being a friend, but then again, wasn’t that enough? Either way, hadn’t he been itching to see you and just avoiding it because he didn’t know what to say? He closed his door with a sigh before running a hand down his face with a groan. He still didn’t really know what he was doing or how to navigate his feelings for you, but he just wanted to see you, enough so that he was willing to forego his usual ‘think first and act second’ methods and simply decided that if time allowed it, he’d stop by to see you this weekend, which was exactly what you had been crossing your fingers for.

You had been halfway over the moon since Itadori paid you a visit and once again it seemed like you had forgotten your prior shortcomings, though it wasn’t really that you had forgotten, you had just sort of come to terms with the outcome. Even though you were a bit sad that Itadori had come alone, he didn’t mention Fushiguro having any ill will towards you and seemed equally surprised that he hadn’t visited you which made you think that at least he probably wasn’t upset with you in any way. Granted if he wasn’t upset with you and he didn’t not like you, that left you not really knowing why he had been gone for so long, but with Itadori coming in it gave you high hopes that you could either ask him about Fushiguro or Fushiguro would come in on his own. You hadn’t backed down from your promise to yourself and now you actually felt less nervous about the prospect of confessing. You felt like even if he didn’t return your feelings, having him around as a friend would be just fine for you, though while your spirits were up in comparison to how they had been, his had dropped to the bottom of his stomach.

He made it all this way, which really wasn’t that far from home or anything, but now that he was standing just out of view of the restaurant windows, he was having a bit of trouble getting his legs to keep going. He had practically been repeating ‘the outcome doesn’t really matter’ as a mantra to himself the last couple days and his whole walk here, but now he realized the outcome did matter to him. A lot. He only thought it didn’t matter because he figured if you rejected him there was no way you’d want to flat out cut him off entirely, but now he was worried staying strictly friends would be so much worse. Could he really push his feelings down just like that? If he wasn’t able to stop his feelings for you, would you be able to tell? Would that push you to stop contact? He knew the only way to find out was to see for himself, but his heart was currently trying very hard to just say ‘fuck it’, turn around, and save himself the possible heartbreak, but his resolve to do so was cut short and all it took was hearing his name.

“Fushiguro?”

You had gone outside to set up a little sign announcing some new menu options when out of the corner of your eyes you saw him, standing about ten feet away from the entrance with furrowed brows as he glared down at his feet. You couldn’t help the grin that bloomed on your face as you closed the distance between the two of you, stopping a few feet in front of him as his eyes finally snapped up to meet yours. If your heart could have burst with joy it surely would have, meanwhile his was hammering in his chest like there was no tomorrow. He heard you speaking, asking him where he had been and explaining your worry that he’d never come back, but it felt like your words were going in one ear and out the other as he simply stared at you.

“Am I losing you? Sorry it’s just-... actually I can talk your ear off while you eat.” You laughed nervously, trying to keep your composure and act like you weren’t bursting at the seams with intent to confess.

“Anyways, what’s it going to be for you today? Salt, soy, or-“

“Actually, I wanted to ask for your number.”

His jaw clenched as he realized what he had just said without even thinking. He wanted to backtrack, to make some excuse, say he misspoke, but he knew this was his last chance so despite the look of sudden shock on your face he decided to keep going.

“I just- I thought it was kind of weird. That I don’t have your number yet, I mean.”

Your face flickered with confusion and for a second he felt sick to his stomach. He was mentally stumbling over himself, suddenly not sure what the hell he was doing as he could feel redness creeping up his skin all the way up to the tips of his ears.

“And uh,-“ C’mon brain, please just give him at least a few more moments of functionality before crapping out on him. “Damnit, this is so stupid….do you think maybe you’d want to go out with me some time?”

He muttered part of that at himself, but you really didn’t care. All you could feel were the butterflies erupting in your stomach and the heat warming your cheeks even more than the setting summer sun had.

“...You mean like here?” You muttered, almost immediately mentally smacking yourself a second after the words left your lips. It was like your brain just had to make sure this was real and what he was asking of you wasn’t just some misunderstanding.

“What? No- I mean, I guess it could be? I was thinking more like...getting ice cream or something...together.”

Now he was avoiding your eyes, one hand nervously rubbing at the back of his neck and his cheeks ablaze with color. A moment passed and his heart began to sink and he was fully prepared to turn his ass around and strongly ignore any questions about where he had gone, but it was the sound of your laughter that kept him from doing so and instead brought his eyes back up to meet yours.

“Sorry, I’m laughing at myself, not you.” You said with a smile so big you had to bite your inner cheek in an attempt to make yourself look less thrilled. “I’m kinda jealous, I’ve been working myself up to ask you the same thing all week y’know. You kinda stole my thunder.”

He blinked, his brain taking a moment to process that you were accepting his offer- no, not even just that, but you had been wanting to ask him? Suddenly he felt even more guilty for avoiding you, then he just felt plain stupid for not asking you sooner.

“I’m…sorry about that.” He replied, eyes still a bit wide as his brain continued to mull over what was happening. “And about not coming by sooner. I’ve been busy...and I had some stuff going on.”

“Oh, that’s ok.” You responded, your giddiness only ceasing for a moment. “Honestly I was pretty worried about you, but I figured if you felt comfortable explaining then you would. But if not that’s fine too I’m just...really glad I got to see you again.”

“Yeah, same here.”

The conversation between the two of you quieted and you were left simply staring at one another, a mix of apprehension and excitement brewing inside both of you, but before more words could be exchanged the two of you were interrupted by your mother opening the shop door and yelling at you to come back inside.

“Ahh, ok so- How about I get you something to eat first and then we can figure out where we’re going to go, huh?” You asked with a shaky laugh and a nervous smile that for some reason made him feel like he could finally let out the breath he had been holding for what felt like ages as he gave you a short nod and followed you inside.

All these worries about what would or could happen and yet here you were, just like always. Talking happily over food, though of course this time the conversation was a bit different as you discussed the different places you both liked trying to decide where to go as if you both knew it didn’t really matter where because the feelings were already there even before you had your first date planned. Your smile still made his heart skip a beat and the feeling of his eyes on yours still made your skin feel warm, but now it felt better without needless excuses or worries.

It felt like the two of you spent hours together over one bowl of ramen and when it finally was time to say goodbye, you both felt comforted in the known fact that it wasn’t permanent and that you weren’t leaving each other dissatisfied. Sure there was no knowing the future, hell he hadn’t even been five minutes away from you before new thoughts and concerns about where this was going entered his head, but it only took one look at the small slip of notebook paper he held in his hand with your name, number, and a small heart scribbled onto it to remind him that for once, he really didn’t care about the possible negative outcomes because he knew one thing for sure. For you, he was willing to take the risk, to take the good along with the bad and let himself be happy for once and if that’s what you wanted too, he was more than happy to let this story that started with an option between salt, soy, and miso ramen play out for as long as it possibly could and, if he was lucky, maybe, just maybe, that story would never have to end.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro x reader

85 notes · View notes

dialovers-translations · 4 years ago

Text

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, MORE BLOOD Vol. 5: Mukami Yuma [Track 3]

Original title: 菜園の手伝い

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, More Blood Vol. 5 Mukami Yuma [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: As much as I would love to help Yuma in the garden, I feel like I would just pass out after half an hour because I am in such bad shape. I’ve never been fit and corona + lockdown made it even worse because I barely have to leave the house. :’’) Anyway, shit is getting real near the end of this so I fear for the MC’s life now. The next track is probably gonna get pretty intense!

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 3: Helping Out in the Garden

You step out into the garden.

“...’Kay. Let’s get down to business right away. Did ya come properly prepared?”

You nod, seemingly motivated.

“Oh! You’re even wearin’ the gloves I bought for ya! ‘Kay then. Guess I’ll put ya in charge of harvestin’ then.”

You ask him which vegetables.

“These cabbages are lookin’ good. If ya leave them for too long, they’ll go bad so we better harvest those ready to be eaten. Haah...I’d like to leave it up to ya but whatcha think? Can ya do it?”

You try and pull the cabbages out of the ground.

“Ah! ...What are ya doin’!?”

You explain, struggling to harvest the cabbages.

“Idiot! I might be able to, but there’s no way ya can just pull them straight out with that puny strength of yers.”

Yuma walks over.

“Cabbages have a sturdy core, so ya gotta use a knife.”

*Cling*

“Exactly. ...Ah. I guess ya don’t know the technique, huh? Guess I gotta teach ya then. I’ll support ya from behind so come on, face towards the field.”

*Rustle rustle*

“Listen up. Ya hold the knife in one hand, usin’ the other to feel the cabbage and check their hardness. The soft ones aren’t ready yet so don’t harvest those, ‘kay?”

You nod.

“So once you’ve found a good one, ya leave ‘bout two to three outer leaves...”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Then put the knife ‘gainst the bottom part of the cabbage and cut...There!”

*Slash*

Yuma harvests one of the cabbages.

“There we go, it came off nicely. That’s basically it. Pretty easy, huh? ...Oi, why is yer face all red? Don’t tell me this much made ya all embarrassed? Ya really never stop showin’ those innocent reaction, do ya? We usually do stuff much more intense, don’t we? Or was yer imagination runnin’ wild? Like bein’ roughhoused from behind or somethin’ amongst those lines?”

You get flustered, quickly denying it.

“Heh. I don’t need to hear yer excuses. ...Ya should be more than familiar with a man’s touch. I don’t mind suckin’ yer blood as ya wish, but the garden work comes first. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to tend to ya plenty afterwards. ...Well then, I’ll leave the rest up to ya!”

He turns around.

“I’m gonna go water the plants over there, so gimme a heads up when you’re ready!”

You nod.

*TIMESKIP*

*Pshhhhh*

“Haah...Guess this’ll do.”

You walk up to Yuma.

“Oh! You’re done harvestin’ too!”

You proudly show him all the cabbages you got.

“Woah! That’s quite the haul! Guess we won’t run low on cabbages for a while, huh? Hehe~ Well done. I’ll give ya props. Then yer next task is...Nah, before that...Oi, gimme look at yer face first.”

You seem skeptical.

“Don’t question it. You’ve got some dirt stuck on yer forehead. I’ll wipe it off so keep still, ‘kay?”

*Rustle rustle*

“You’ve worked up a sweat too...Shouldn’t ya put up yer hair? I’ll tie it for ya so turn ‘round. I’ve got a spare hair elastic so I’ll let ya borrow it.”

You turn around as Yuma starts tying up your hair.

“Aah...The hair’s stickin’ to yer nape from the sweat. I’m surprised it didn’t bother ya up till now?”

*Rustle rustle*

“ーー ‘Kay, you’re good to go! It’s a lil’ messy but bear with it.”

You thank him.

“Right? Ya should tie it up like that whenever yer hair gets in the way. It’s not a bad look on ya. ...Anyway, ‘bout yer next task...Oh?”

*Sniff*

“Ah...”

*Sniff sniff*

“...”

Yuma leans in close, wrapping his arms around.

*Rustle rustle*

“For some reason...The scent of yer sweat is really intense.”

You get embarrassed, trying to escape his grip.

“Oi, oi! Don’t make a fuss! I wasn’t callin’ ya stinky or anythin’...! Actually, if ya put up a fight like that, it only tempts me even more to pin ya down...!”

He pushes you to the ground.

*Thud*

*Rustle rustle*

“Seems like the scent of yer sweat and skin has gotten to my head...I was just feelin’ thirsty as well, so lemme suck yer blood right now.”

*Rustle*

“But, well...Ah, fuck! We’re still in the middle of that challenge, huh? There’s no point in doin’ this unless ya beg for me.”

You continue to struggle.

“Say, how is it? Don’t ya want my fangs?”

You face away.

“Come on...”

*Rustle*

“How ‘bout the collarbone? It might be a lil’ painful if I hit the bone, but I’ll make sure to suck ya in a way you’ll be able to feel good regardless. ...Better be grateful. You’re the only one I’ve ever been or ever will be this gentle to.”

*Rustle*

“So...Yearn for me more...”

*Smooch*

“Ya still won’t say it, huh? Guess ya won’t get in the right mood unless I suck ya once? Oh well, whatever. I’m reachin’ my limit too. I’ll do it harder than before, but don’t ya dare faint on me, ‘kay? I’ll bite ya over and over until ya start beggin’ after all...!”

Yuma bites you.

*Sluuuuurp*

“Haah...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“...Hah. Haah...How’s that? It feels good, doesn’t it? We’re still nowhere done tho...Aren’t ya happy, Sow? Ya get to enjoy more of these fangs ya love oh-so much...Go ahead and cry out in joy...”

You pull out the hourglass.

*Cling*

“...Ah! Ya pulled out that hourglass again! Ugh!”

He quickly snatches it away.

*Cling*

“Hehe. How’s that? I took it away! I won’t let ya use that trick anymore!”

Yuma tosses the hourglass aside.

*Thud*

“...Yer nifty lil’ hourglass is layin’ by yer feet. Guess this means ya can’t rewind time anymore, huh? ...It has a limited amount of uses anyway, so I’m very much lookin’ forward to the moment it runs out of magic. Oh! Also...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Just in case...”

*Rustle rustle*

“I’m tyin’ yer wrists with a rope. ...Like this, ya can no longer get away, nor do ya have a chance at usin’ the hourglass. ...Ugh! Ya see, the material of this rope makes it almost impossible to slip free, so it does a great job at keepin’ stuff nicely restrained. I really like it for tyin’ together blocks of timber. ーー There we go, all done.”

You pout.

“Hehehe...Ya really look good all tied up. ...It’s surprisingly sturdy and won’t snap too easily, so go ahead and struggle all you’d like.”

Yuma bites you again.

*Sluuuuurp*

“ーーHaah! ...Haah...Delicious...So you’re enjoyin’ this too after all, aren’t ya? It’s proven by the taste of yer blood. Like this, if I suck just a lil’ more, ya will...”

*Rustle rustle*

*Cling*

“...Ah? What are ya doin’? ...Ah, ya kicked away the hourglass, huh? Did ya think ya could flip it ‘round like that? Hah! If only things were that easーー What!? It landed perfectly upside down!? ...Ah! Don’t be shittin’ me...!!”

*Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock*

ーーー

“...Ah!? ...Aah, we rewinded? Aahー This is before I tied up yer hair. Which means...We’ve once again been brought back to before I sucked yer blood!”

You make a run for it.

“...Ah! Hold it!!”

Yuma chases after you.

*TIMESKIP*

“...Fuck. She fled inside the house. ...Hah! Fine then. I’m sure her body is reachin’ its limit soon. Besides...I’m startin’ to lose control as well. ...Better brace yerself. Next time, you’re definitely not gettin’ away...”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #yuma mukami #diabolik lovers more more blood #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

43 notes · View notes

hawkinsindiana · 5 years ago

Text

who are you supposed to be?

ALMOST PARADISE: PART TWO - CHAPTER TWO OF FIFTEEN

pairing: steve harrington x henderson!reader

word count: 4.5k

a/n: wow i really just went off with this chapter. it’s rough one, i can’t lie to you. angst level’s over 9000, and kaitlin cried while reading. i’m sorry in advance.

masterlist

“Steve, come on! You gotta take this seriously!”

“I am! But none of this makes any goddamn sense!”

Your eyes roll at Steve’s comment, your quiet voices are just barely over a whisper. They don’t register to anyone else in the library other than the two of you.

“What happens if you start failing Calc, huh? What are you gonna do then?” You question before blowing a strand of hair from your forehead, watching him intently for a reaction.

His grades have been better since meeting you. Your motivation and almost unrelenting work ethic sparked something similar in him. Not to the same extent, but you’ve given him the drive and the support to go after a future after high school. You always tell him that it’s not as far off as he thinks, that a spot in a college isn’t as difficult to obtain as he always thought.

Steve shrugs before leaning back in his chair, tossing his arm over the back, “Easy. Get you to bail me out.”

“Nice try, Harrington,” You quip as you return your focus to your notes - Steve always says they’re practically unreadable, “That’s not gonna happen.”

“I could bribe you.”

You snort, gaze briefly flicking up to where he sits across from you; his smirk causes a rush of endorphins to flow through your veins. Your pencil scribbles against the paper as you respond, “There’s not enough money in the world to get me to do your homework for you. That wouldn't help either of us.”

“I’ve got a trust fund that says otherwise.”

“Steven!” You raise your volume unintentionally at what he implies; a group huddled at by one of the nearby tables turns to you in annoyance. Steve laughs at your misfortune and the following blush that rapidly spreads over your cheeks.

“Yeah, you’re only keepin’ me around just in case,” You joke as your hand gestures between the two of you, your voice softening back to its original tone. Your words hold a hint of fear and anxiety in them, as if maybe it’s a possibility, regardless of how close you’ve grown.

“Oh come on, I’m kidding!” He says quickly before fiddling with the collar on his vest, and he earns a roll of your eyes before comforting you, drawing your mind away from the insecurity, “No way is that true. You know it’s not like that.”

Yeah, it’s not.

Your attention doesn’t move from your work at his response, hating how your brain twists his words into something else entirely. You unfortunately don’t get to escape those thoughts - Nancy’s bag is placed onto the table and Steve’s arm is around her shoulders before you can even process it.

This feeling - you absolutely despise it. You lose your focus on the problem in front of you, eyes practically glazed over with a kind of mutated version of envy; you try and figure it out for the sixth time as a distraction.

It’s too painful. He’s trying desperately to make her laugh, get her to shine a brilliant smile in his direction - the kind that makes him feel like his heart could give out. The kind that she doesn’t give as much anymore.

Not that Steve notices that. But you always do.

All Nancy can muster in response is a light hum and a nod of the head. Her lips are tightly pressed together, with just the corners tilted slightly up; her demeanor is still weighted, regardless of the facade she’s able to trick him with.

Steve’s too blind to be able to notice. He loves her too much.

He’s too blind to be able to notice you.

And you’re sick of it.

Abruptly, you close the notebook and shove it straight into your backpack; you don’t particularly care that the cardboard bends against the other books in your possession.

“Woah, hey-” Steve finally manages to reach your ears once you’ve slung the pack over your shoulder, gaze still cast downwards and away from them - you’d feel worse if you caught a glimpse, “Where you goin’?”

Your throat closes up once you realize that you have no answer. You lie.

“Out.”

Steve’s brow furrows, “Out?”

“Yep,” You wrap your fingers around the strap, voice almost quivering. He persists, concern growing over his face at your curt responses, “Why?”

“I just need some fresh air, you know, good for the brain or whatever.”

Steve scoffs lightly. His expression instantly relaxes at your excuse, and you can’t believe he buys it, “Of course, duh.”

You force a laugh from your mouth, hoping that it distracts from the way your gaze softens as it finally lands on him. Your chest aches at the grin that spreads over his lips, and you subconsciously mirror it - it happens out of your control.

“See you tonight? Around seven, yeah?” Steve asks, inquiring about Tina’s Halloween bash. Your eyes travel over to Nancy briefly, and she just so happens to turn her head at the same moment, leading to an instance where you stare directly at the other.

It makes your skin erupt in goosebumps, and tears burn behind your lids. It’s like she’s completely forgotten who she once was to you.

“Yeah,” You say quietly after dragging your eyes from Nancy before beginning to walk off, blinking rapidly to stop your tears from forming even further, “See you then.”

—

You think that Steve’s going to be the death of you.

It’s been a year and you don’t know how much more of this you’ll be able to take, just teetering on the edge of collapse.

Your eyes are still brimming with tears when you push your body against the exit doors, but you don’t dare let them fall. You’ve only got one person in mind as you scan the parking lot.

Jonathan’s at the picnic table he parks himself at during free period, and by the way you plop yourself down next to him, he instantly knows what this is about.

You and Jonathan have never talked about your feelings before. There’s just this mutual instinct between the two of you - you know he loves Nancy and he knows you love Steve. It’s an unspoken bond that connects you both, the pain and turmoil of watching them slowly crash and burn unites you in sorrow.

“I don’t know how much more of this I can handle,” You mutter, keeping your voice low as to not attract any attention from the other students milling around.

Jonathan doesn’t look up from the pages in front of him; he only clutches his pencil tighter between his fingers, “How’d you mean?”

“Them,” You lean your forehead against your palm, “I can’t watch them anymore. It’s too much.”

Jonathan knows exactly what you’re referring to; he’s begun to notice some of the signs too. Nancy always seems a bit deflated when Steve’s around, like she’s not herself.

“There’s nothing we can do about it,” He responds, glancing your way for second, “It’s not our place.”

“I know that, Jonathan,” Your hair blows in the breeze as you contemplate how to respond, “I wasn’t suggesting that we do anything about it, I-“

You shudder at the thought that pops into your head, muscles contracting to form your hand into a fist, “I just wish that it could be me instead.”

A tear falls onto your cheek as your words settle into the air. That’s the first time it’s been spoken - the first time you’ve admitted to someone other than yourself that Steve has your heart in his hands.

Jonathan just nods as you silently cry by his side, his jaw clenching before he speaks, “I know. It hurts like hell.”

You wipe away the tears from your face as you turn slightly to him, “Seeing them together isn’t even the worst part.”

Jonathan frowns at what you imply, waiting patiently for you to continue your thought, “What’s worse than that?”

You swallow the lump that formed in your throat as your eyes meet, and Jonathan’s chest aches a touch at the pain you hide behind your irises. He can see all of your emotions brewing in agony, swimming just below the surface; you’re about to overflow.

“Imagining it is worse. Because eventually, when you realize that this...stupid fantasy you’ve created isn’t real?”

You apprehensively pull your sight away from him - you don’t think you can look while you say this, “That’s the pain that never goes away.”

—

You don’t know why you’re here - it’s far too loud and far too packed. Someone in a football jersey nearly slams into you after you manage to weasel your way through the door. You almost take that as a sign that you should get out of here while you have the chance.

You’re about to turn around and head back home, making a promise to sneak some of Dustin’s candy when he returns, until Steve’s eyes meet yours from across the room and he motions you over.

Oh, right. That’s why.

After finally making your way over to him, Steve greets you with a large smile, “Hey, you made it!”

He looks you over once to get a glimpse of your costume and his face contorts in confusion after he doesn’t recognize it, “Uh, who are you supposed to be?”

You glance down briefly, “Han Solo.”

Steve’s expression doesn’t change as he fiddles with the black sunglasses between his fingers, and you raise your brows at him, “You know, Star Wars?”

“You think I would know that?”

“We watched the movies together!” You raise your voice just a touch louder to express your annoyance, “All three of ‘em!”

Steve only scoffs as he scans the sea of people in front of you, concern creasing his forehead. You match his emotion, wondering what it could be that has him so worried.

“Something wrong?” You ask as you follow where his gaze goes, and he replies without turning to face you, “I just - I’ve barely seen Nancy all night. She gets two drinks in her system and runs off.”

You can only bring yourself to hum in response, secretly hating how much he still cares for her. Especially when he can’t see the signs himself.

Watching Nancy slowly pull away from him over the past couple of months has started taking its toll on you - you almost can’t bear to be near him. It’s absolutely overwhelming.

Your train of thought gets derailed by the shouts of an approaching group, and you lean into Steve’s arm a bit at the sight of them, silently offering him your support once you realize who it is.

“Look who it is - Harrington and Henderson, the dynamic duo,” Tommy says rather harshly as he strolls up to the two of you, adjusting the bandana he wears before swirling the contents of his red cup.

He slaps the back of the boy who stands to his left, and you’d recognize that type of smirk anywhere, “We’ve got ourselves a new keg king. Billy Hargrove here beat your record by a mile.”

You look over to Steve and notice his jaw tense as Billy steps up to square off; the cigarette between his lips pulses orange as he inhales and puffs the smoke in Steve’s direction. He coughs as it hits his face before turning away and you cringe at Steve’s expense, sighing at the stupid sign of dominance - and the other boy hasn’t even spoken a word.

Billy laughs as he turns back to Tommy, a grin spread over his face, “You weren’t kiddin’ with this one, King of Hawkins my ass.”

You roll your eyes and scoff at his comment, sick and tired of people comparing Steve to the previous iteration of himself, especially when he’s become so much more than the stupid high school cliches.

Billy’s attention switches to you at your disapproval of his words, his eyes squint slightly as he takes you in - your posture, how your wandering gaze softens when you land on Steve, the way you’re leaning against him - it brings a strange twinkle to his eye.

He takes a particularly long drag of the cigarette as he scans over your body and his mouth twists to smirk again, “Nice costume, Han Solo right?”

You clear your throat and shift your weight over your feet, heat rising to your cheeks at the way he practically studies you. You don’t want to give him the gratification of hearing you speak, but it only makes you look more timid and affected by his presence when you only muster a nod.

Billy licks his lips as he exhales, making sure to move the smoke away from you. He rather enjoys the reaction he’s able to pull.

He takes one last puff from the cigarette and throws it to the floor by your feet. You hate the way your hair stands on end as he angles himself to be ever so slightly closer, and you’re practically able to smell the booze as if it radiated from him. With his boot, he snuffs out the dimming light of the bud; his eyes never leave yours.

Billy finally turns back to Steve, lips quirking up once he notices your friend’s annoyance with your treatment, “Cute friend, Harrington.” He tilts his head, shooting a wink and a crooked smile your way, “See you later, sweetheart.”

Your chest heaves as you let out a breath you didn’t know you were keeping in as you and Steve watch Billy move back into the crowd, practically engulfed by the other partying teens.

“What’s with him?” You ask, voice quivering slightly at the encounter.

Steve sighs as he allows himself to calm down; your presence helps the process a touch, “If he’s after my old spot, he can have it. God knows I don’t need that shit anymore.”

He turns his head to you, “He bothers you, you lemme know - I’ll kick his ass.”

You heart swells at his words but you push down the reaction before it can manifest itself. The thought of Steve stepping up to protect you makes your brain foggy and body unsteady; instead, you offer him a snarky glance and a comment dripped in sarcasm, “Alright, sure. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Oh come on, don’t give me that tone - I’d do it, you know,” Steve says back, unimpressed with your lack of faith in him, regardless if it’s a sham. His voice lowers and it grows a bit more sincere, “Somebody’s gotta look out for you.”

While trying desperately to forget the fact that he just said he’d be willing to defend you, you open your mouth to respond but he raises a finger before you can.

“If you say anything about those kids-”

“Listen, I hear Lucas is a crack shot with that Wrist Rocket of his.”

Steve just rolls his eyes at your answer, earning a laugh from you, which he now considers to be one of the highest compliments he could ever receive. It’s music to his ears.

You brush a piece of hair back behind your ear as you spot the table that’s almost covered in plastic red cups, “Alright, come on Rocky, let’s get me a drink.”

—

The walls shake from the speakers, the bass line echoes through your ears and the plates rattle in the cupboards. You’re thankful that whoever curated the tracks for tonight picked some good hits. Perhaps it’s the only decent thing about being here.

You had opted for a couple of beers, enough to give you a buzz but not to completely inebriate yourself. Although it’s still not enough to make you enjoy Nancy’s company; there just isn’t enough alcohol in the world.

She dragged Steve onto the dance floor two songs ago after downing another cup of that disgusting beverage, much to his protests. But with that smile flashed in his direction and the rhythm pulsing through her veins - how could he say no?

Your teeth bite down on the edge of the cup that rests in your grasp as you watch them; you haven’t been able to take your eyes away, no matter how hard your brain tells you to. The corner of your lips tilts upwards at the sight of the grin on his face as bops along to the music with those stupid sunglasses placed on the bridge of his nose.

And then, all of a sudden, the feeling of nausea hits you, and you’re not sure if it’s from the drinks you’ve had - or if it’s from the way he pulls her in, one hand in her hair, one on her back.

You can barely comprehend the fact that you’re moving, pushing through to get past the screen door and outside as you’re desperate to get some fresh air. The green haze that usually clouds your vision at the sight of her is magnified to a degree that overwhelms your senses, and it only dissipates slightly at the feeling of the cool October air hitting your skin.

The image of them - it’s as if it’s been burned into the back of your eyelids. No matter how many times you blink, how many times you press the heel of your palms against your eyes, you can’t escape it.

Everything’s been building to this night, this party - this moment. It was only a matter of time before the tower that’s struggling to hold you up came crashing down, and right now it’s just about to fall.

You were never going to be able to keep this up forever, you know that. These dumb feelings you caught a hold of and never let go have brought you nothing but pain. Steve’s friendship has been the most important part of your life, as he’s truly amazing with all the walls broken down - but he’s got you wrapped around his finger.

Was all of that worth the agony of being witness to their relationship?

You don’t think so. At least not anymore.

You don’t know how long you’ve been standing here, eyes covered by your hands, with the breeze flowing through the air. You swallow the lump in your throat as your hands get dragged through your hair, mind lost in thought.

You have to go back inside some time, realizing that if you’re going to leave, you should at least tell Steve. He’d worry incessantly if you didn’t. You just want to go home and hear about the boys’ adventures trick-or-treating; you’ve decided you’ll never forgive yourself for missing, all just for this.

As soon as you muster up the courage to cross back inside, someone almost trips over you, stumbling over their own feet.

“Woah, hey-” Nancy slurs, gesturing at you with the cup in her hand, “Watch it, I’m walking here - hello!” You sigh as you watch her chug another helping of the vile red drink before looking out over the crowd, with Steve nowhere in sight.

You mentally kick yourself for what you’re about to do. You have a feeling you’re going to regret this.

“Alright, Jesus Christ, Nancy-” You wrestle the plastic from her vice grip and she wipes away the excess with the back of her hand, “How many of these have you had?”

“You can’t tell anybody this,” She smirks and leans closer to you, her lips practically landing on your ear and she giggles, “I don’t know, I don’t know how many!”

“Okay, come on,” You grab her by the arm and she follows behind you, “Where are we going?”

“We gotta get you to Steve, okay? You’ve probably got alcohol poisoning, you can barely stand.”

“No!” Nancy protests as she pulls on your jacket to stop you, “No, I don’t wanna go to Steve, in fact I don’t want to you either.”

“What are you talking about? Of course we’ve gotta get you to him-”

“No, I want you to leave him alone,” Her order makes you spin around, and she finally wrestles herself away. Her arms fold over her chest, “I don’t want you to talk to him.”

“You’ve lost your goddamn mind,” You scoff at her, moving closer to grab her again. She violently shakes her head and she takes a deep breath. The words just tumble right out in her drunken haze.

“I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

It hits you like a punch.

Your heart rate skyrockets, jaw drops, stomach flips, eyes widen - everything happens all at once.

Nancy pushes you away with just her index finger pressed harshly into your sternum, and in your shocked state - you let her.

“What did you say?” You mutter after you stagger backwards, and it’s completely inaudible to everyone around you. That was meant just for her.

Nancy doesn’t respond, and it makes you furious. After everything she’s done to you, she can’t even answer the one question you’ve had for her in the three years it’s been since you were friends.

You huff before you repeat yourself, “What did you say, Nancy?”

Of course, you know what she said. It’s just so unbelievable that you need to hear it straight from her again.

You thought that you were so careful as to not let your feelings for Steve be shown outwards; no matter how much you wanted to just let it envelop you, let your smile beam at him when he did something you loved. You always just wanted to let everything about him swallow you whole, and you never could.

Nancy refuses to answer you. You don’t see green when you look at her anymore - all it is now is red.

And that’s all it takes. The final push.

Your fingers wrap around her wrist and you pull, dragging her behind you and down the hall. Your mind is blank except for rage that’s been slowly boiling over the past few months - you can’t even hear her fighting against you.

You practically throw her into the closet and you slam the door as soon as you’re in.

“What the hell, Y/N? What’s the matter with you?” Nancy says as she raises her voice, shoving your shoulder as you turn around to face her.

“What the hell’s the matter with me? What’s the matter with you? What could I have ever done to deserve this?” You shout back even though you’re barely two feet apart.

It’s all bubbling up now, everything that you kept inside for far too long. And not just what’s been brewing since November - everything from the past few years. All of it.

“You tossed me aside like some kind of useless piece of trash! All I ever did was be a good friend! I was there for you! And I guess I still am!” Your hands are gesturing wildly now, not knowing what to do with them when you’re like this. You hate it, but there’s no stopping it now.

“And then, Jesus - after that fucking mess last year? With Will?” You laugh at the insanity of it all, “I watch the only guy I’ve ever given a shit about fall for you. Of all people he could’ve been with, it had to be you. Nancy Wheeler, my ex best friend who I don’t think ever cared about me. And fuck-”

The hot tears spill past your eyelashes and onto your cheeks at the mention of Steve; the boy that you’ve come to admit that even though you’re best friends, you fell hopelessly and ridiculously in love with him.

And it hurts too much to be standing here in front of her, knowing that the only reason you’re spilling all of this is because you’ve got alcohol in your bloodstream, and it only makes you more angry at her.

“Fuck, Nancy! I don’t think that you ever cared about me, but Steve? The way you’ve treated him? I know that he’s so head over heels for you and he’s clueless, but I’m not.”

Nancy can’t bring herself to do anything but listen, but her internal anger is starting to match yours.

“You’ve been pulling away from him for so long and God, it hurts. It hurts to watch Steve be completely oblivious to the fact that you actually like Jonathan more than him. I mean, Jesus-” You pause for a second to catch your breath and to push your hair back from your face, “You don’t fucking deserve him!”

“Well, congratulations!” Nancy finally spits out as she interrupts you, “Congratulations, you’ve solved it! I never loved Steve, is that what you wanted? You’ve just wanted him to yourself, well here you go! I guess neither one of us are idiots, I figured out your secret and you got mine!”

You shut up at her revelation; it suddenly and completely sobers you.

You have always had your suspicions about her true feelings - that Steve’s affection was only a joke to her, or that maybe the passion has just vanished. You always wondered if she might eventually throw him away like she did you, but you never expected it to be true.

Maybe you thought too much of her.

“Y-You’ve-” Your voice quiets and softens, your mouth struggles to catch up with your mind as it spins relentlessly, “You’ve never loved him? After all this time?”

Nancy can’t bring it in herself to continue as shame starts to spread through her mind - you weren’t supposed to know that. Nobody was.

“How long were you planning on leading him on like this? What, just so you could pretend that everything was okay?” You go on, tears still streaming down your face, pooling at your chin and eventually dropping onto the hardwood beneath your feet.

Nancy’s jaw tenses at your questions and she folds her arms, looking down at the small puddle your tears have made on the floor. Countless seconds pass as the two of you think, heads swimming with the overload of information. Hopefully the thumping music covered your shouts.

“Did you ever stop to think what this would do to him?”

Nancy’s eyes flick up to yours for a split second. They’re filled with nothing but shame.

A deep breath gets forced through your nose before your fingers wipe away the mess, and they move to the door handle once it’s clear that she’s not going to tell you.

You swallow the lump in your throat as you spin to unlock the door, but you turn back around quickly before you do, “Everything’s just a bunch of bullshit with you, isn’t it?”

Nancy finally moves, and she pulls you away before fiddling with the knob herself - she fails at opening it twice.

“I need another drink,” She mutters once it’s swung open, and in her bitterness, she moves you aside hard enough for your back to thump against the wall, and she closes the door after she exits. Empty clothing hangers rattle with the force.

A sob crawls its way up your throat as everything starts to settle, your mouth becomes covered by your palms to silence the noise.

A whole year has gone by. He’s loved her for almost 365 days, twelve months, countless hours, and she never felt the same way. Not even for a second. All of that time was wasted and Steve doesn’t even know.

He deserves to, though. Of course he does.

He needs to know that his girlfriend doesn’t feel the same way about him. But it shouldn’t come from you, and you don’t think you’d be able to take the look on his face if you did.

You feel sick.

—

taglist: @stevebabey @dolhargrove @hannarudick @crazycookiecrumbles @hellisateenageheather @orchideax @l0ve-0f-my-life @naomiiiiiiiiiii04 @kake-babe @thecaptainsgingersnap @captainstevesahoy @let-the-imaginationflow @asianravenpuff @im-a-stranger-thing @mikariell95 @pilunb @harringtherin @royalestrellas @ultrunning @poutfull @yoheyyosup @buggs177

if you want to be added to the taglist, just lemme know!

#my writing #my gif #almost paradise #steve harrington x reader #stranger things fic #steve harrington fic #steve harrington #stranger things imagine #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you

533 notes · View notes

scapegrace74-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Saorsa, Chapter 16

A/N Here is the next installment of Saorsa. Jamie’s on a mission, and Ned Gowan makes his first appearance. He keeps poking his head up in this story, like a marmot with a law degree.

Rather than link to all previously posted chapters, I’ll just direct those of you wanting to catch up on your Saorsa-reading to my AO3 page, where the fic is posted in its entirety.

Thank you to each of you liking and reblogging! It does my little fanfic writer’s heart good.

For a man who couldn’t walk more than fifty yards without getting winded, Jamie Fraser was still a force to be reckoned with when he set his mind to a task. In the two days since she’d confessed her dual secrets to him, he had directed labourers to a nearby bog to cut peat to burn through the winter instead of wood; suggested they mill the estate’s abundant acorns for flour, rather than letting the wild boar eat them all; shown Murtagh what was needed to repair the old grist mill; and sent the field hands out to collect the season’s last thornapples, so that Cook could stew them as preserves and dry them as fruit leather. He deferred publicly to her position as Lady of Lallybroch in all matters, but it was clear that he knew a great deal more than she about the running of the estate in hard times. How that came to be was a question she grew increasingly focused on answering.

With supper eaten and cleared away, they were now at opposite ends of the long couch in the great room. Claire sat with her legs curled by her side, a novel resting on her thighs. Jamie's feet were extended on an ottoman as he listened attentively to BBC Radio broadcast the latest news of the war.

Her guest treated the war with odd disassociation. Unlike most every other man she knew, he neither gloried in Britain’s triumphs nor seemed overly moved by her defeats. He asked strange questions about the location of Pearl Harbor and the size and nature of a Panzer division, but otherwise absorbed the news in silence. The Duke of Sandringham’s comment about the dubious dedication of the Scots to the war effort came to mind. In truth, she barely knew Jamie, but she was certain he was not a coward nor a draft dodger. As usual, all her suppositions about his motivations led her to barred doors that she did not feel entitled to open.

The news ended with the usual orchestral flourish and was replaced by quiet jazz.

Jamie stirred and looked her way. “I’ve been thinking, Sassenach...”

She smirked, both at the now-familiar nickname and the fact that Jamie always seemed to be thinking. He was often silent, as though over-awed by the simplest of daily occurrences, but it was clear that he was a man who reasoned deeply, yet preferred action to words. It was a practical intelligence, when contrasted with Frank’s cerebral style. If her late husband had been a florid adjective, James Fraser was all verb.

“I ken tis yer decision but would it no’ be wise tae consult the law about yer… situation?” he finished delicately. She’d yet to tell anyone else about Frank’s death or her pregnancy, and she appreciated Jamie’s discretion.

“I thought of that, Jamie. But I’m worried about what will happen if word gets back to the Duke of Sandringham before I’m ready. He’s connected to every High Street lawyer in Scotland, I’m certain of it.”

Jamie grinned what she’d come to consider his piratical grin before suggesting, “Aye. Where’er in Scotland could we find a man of the law who wouldna go blethering tae an English laird about keepin’ Lallybroch out of ‘is clutches?”

She couldn’t help smiling back at him, despite the seriousness of her situation. Their eyes clutched and held for a long moment, before she broke the hold and looked down at her lap, smile fading.

“If you could make some discreet inquiries…” she murmured.

“Consider it done.” He rose carefully from the couch and came to stand before her.

“It’s time fer me tae be beddin’ down wi’ Murtagh in the croft, Mistress Beauchamp.”

The switch from the familiar to the formal was not lost of her, and she rebelled against it instinctively.

“Absolutely not! You’re still healing. And you are not a labourer. You’re my guest.”

“I’ve strayed in yer bed too long already,” he protested, and then blushed as he realized what he’d just said. He plowed ahead anyway. “Yer a widowed woman, and tis no’ right for me tae… weel, ye ken what I mean.”

“I most certainly do not. I’ve been a widow for as long as you’ve known me. Nothing about that has changed. I will not hear of it, Jamie. If you feel badly for depriving me of my bed, we can switch bedchambers. You aren’t sleeping in that damp croft, and that’s final.” She rose to stand in front of him, her fists resting against her hips and her chin thrown back in defiance.

“Did no-one e’er tell ye that yer as stubborn as a whole team o’ oxen, Sassenach?” he said with resigned affection.

“Let there be no mistake, Mister Fraser. I’m far more stubborn than a whole team of oxen.”

Ned Gowan looked every bit the part of a disreputable lawyer. His long hair was pulled back into a greasy pigtail, and he had the narrow, canny eyes of a larcenist. Jamie would not divulge where he’d located the man, but he begged Claire to listen with an open mind as he set forth his argument.

The royal grant that saw Lallybroch pass from a family of Jacobite traitors into the hands of Frank Randall’s ancestors was clear. Lallybroch would be held in perpetuity by successive generations of Randalls until there was no direct heir, at which time it would pass to the current Duke of Sandringham, to whose line protectorship of the estate had been given. As long as the customary payment of a hundred pounds was made twice a year and a Randall resided at the estate, Lallybroch was theirs.

There could be no question in anyone’s mind that the child Claire bore was the lawful heir of Captain Frank Randall, conceived after their marriage and before his death.

Therefore, once born her child would be the natural inheritor of Lallybroch. During the child’s minority, Claire would hold the estate in trust and be responsible for its management.

“Even though I’m a woman? Even though I’m… not a Scot?” Claire asked, her hand unconsciously touching her still-flat belly.

“Oh, yes, my dear. British history is full of examples of foreign women wielding power in the absence of their native husbands. On that subject, the law is very clear,” the lawyer responded with a twinkle in his eye. “I’m not saying the Duke will not try to contest it, but the child you carry is the future Lord or Lady of Lallybroch.”

She was totally engrossed in what Ned Gowan was saying, so she missed the look of mute agony that travelled over Jamie’s face.

The relief she felt after Ned Gowan’s visit put her in a playful mood. She ribbed Jamie good-naturedly about his peculiar fondness for Cook’s cock-a-leekie soup at the supper table.

“Tis almost as good as my mam’s recipe, Sassenach. She would make it when’er I was ill, or when I strayed too long in the dreich and came home frozen tae the marrow, which was often.”

She opened her mouth to ask about his mother, but he forestalled her question with his own.

“Where’abouts are yer people, Sassenach? I ken they’re no’ here in Scotland, but do they visit ye?”

The smile fled from her face, and Jamie immediately looked contrite.

“Claire, I dinna mean to…”

“It’s alright. It’s just that, well… I don’t have any ‘people’. Not really. Not the way you mean.”

He emitted a soft sigh and reached for her hand where it rested on the table.

“My, err… my parents died when I was quite young. In the influenza epidemic that followed the Great War. My uncle, Lambert, raised me until I was old enough to attend boarding school. It was quite the unconventional upbringing, visiting all manner of places, wherever his work took him. He was an archaeologist, you see.”

Jamie nodded absently.

“Lamb died before the war. Cancer. It’s been just me since then. Well, and Frank.”

“How long were ye marrit tae ‘im?”

“Less than a year. Love during wartime, I suppose. We met last June, were married by October, and he was deployed only weeks later. We last saw each other in August, and then…” Her free hand unconsciously strayed to her flat tummy.

“I’m sae sorry, Sassenach.” She was grateful there wasn’t an ounce of pity in his tone, only sincere regret.

“No, it’s alright. It sounds cold, but we weren’t together long enough for me to truly miss him. Anyway, you asked after my people, but all I have are memories.”

A pained noise burst from Jamie’s throat.

“Ye ken that isna true, Claire. Afore ye know it, ye’ll have yer wee bairn tae raise. And the men and women of this estate care for ye, truly.”

“Do they?” she asked, glancing at him sideways.

“Aye.” Jamie nodded, but said no more.

#my writing #outlander

42 notes · View notes

nullanythorm-ao3 · 4 years ago

Text

Okay so bear with me, a little background on this idea of mine. As a writer, my primary love when it comes to writing is characters. My characters’ motivations, background, process of reasoning, and to a lesser extent their psychology. While I’m writing, I’ll often look for music to inspire my latest project or drive a character interaction in a particular scene. So, lately, as I’ve been working on my work and listening to a bunch of Tangled songs throughout my time working on TiSE and CiM, I came up with an idea. This idea.

But what if Varian and Cass’ songs were swapped?

This isn’t a roleswap AU or anything. Rather, it’s just as I said. A swap of their primary character/villain songs. Varian’s s1 arc gets Waiting in the Wings, its reprise, and Crossing the Line. Meanwhile, Cass’ s2-3 arc gets Let me Make You Proud, its reprise, and Ready as I’ll ever be. Basically, I realized that Cass and Varian actually have very similar motivations, they’re just skewed to different sides. They have other things that separate them as characters, but I feel swapping their songs could actually bring out other sides of their characters while still emphasising their motivations and make for some interesting emotional points where it wouldn’t have been originally.

So, I’m going to go over EVERY SINGLE ONE of those six songs verse by verse (or maybe even individual lines for emphasis sometimes) here - and tell you how I think the emotional beats of a lot of the songs still fit if they’re swapped because this epiphany has been driving me crazy and I think it’s time to put it on paper. We’ll be going in chronological order based on the order they’d be in if they WERE swapped, not how they originally are. So buckle in cuz this is gonna be a long ride!

Okay so we’re starting with

Waiting in the Wings (Varian Version)!

Oooh boy. So first and foremost, some of these songs might change where they’d pop up due to the tone of the song being better in a certain setting. Waiting in the Wings isn’t one of those, but I wanted to make that clear since for each song I’ll be specifying where in time in the timeline it’d be.

So Waiting in the Wings, in this song swap, would happen in the same place as Let Me make You Proud. Varian accidentally traps Quirin in Amber, and rushes out to get Rapunzel. It’s got a bit more of a somber vibe to it, but I think it actually really works to ramp up the emotional gut punch here. Let’s get started!

Guess we all are born with parts to play Some of us are stars and some are just in the way I know I was meant for glory But that’s never what my story brings And Yet I keep on waiting

So this first verse! I think it really could set up how Varian feels underappreciated. He really wants to stand out - get the glory and attention he feels he deserves so his dad can say he’s proud of his son for a change. Yet, others like Rapunzel, Eugene, Cass, etc are the stars. As he’s going out into the storm to get Rapunzel, he’s basically musing to himself on the fact that he’s relying on his friends again, having royally screwed up, and needing the stars of the show to fix it while he’s still waiting for his moment to shine.

That “Some of us are stars, and some are just in the way” is a real gut punch here because Varian’s always had a bad reputation. And while he’s kept trying and trying and trying to do things right - he’s starting to feel that maybe he can’t do anything on his own.

When You have the passion and the drive You expect your moment center stage to arrive I show up with heart ablazing Ready to achieve amazing things But I’m left waiting in the wings

Oooooooh boy. This boy definitely has passion and drive. He’s tried so hard to perfect his alchemy. To do great things. He wants to learn, to create, to build. Get that moment in the spotlight so he can be proud of himself, so that he can impress his dad. He wants to help others with his big brain so bad, to do something that can have him center stage - to get attention.

But every time, he gets shown up. Either his inventions go awry and someone else fixes his mess, and he’s left unappreciated and scorned for trying. Or he simply gets little attention for the things he has achieved. Not many people really acknowledge his attempts because they always fail. He’s always just been lagging behind Rapunzel and Eugene.

I hear my cue, and yet I’m kept there waiting Know what to do, and still I stand there waiting It’s always someone else who sings While I’m left waiting in the wings

So a lot of what I’ve talked about before applies to this verse. He feels like he can’t do anything without the others. Like he’s always an after thought, in the background. He wants so hard to be seen as an equal, but he’s just a kid. A smart kid wit ha brain a bit too big for his age who tends to rush into things and that leads to destructive aftermaths.

He wants to jump in, has the mind to help problem solve, but feels like he’s shrugged off by the kingdom and his father for other, brighter stars.

And so I keep on keepin on My chances come and then I blink and they’re gone Always overlooked unfairly While pretending that it barely stings

This boy. He internalizes so much of his pain. He tries to laugh it off, optimistically “keep on keepin on”, as it were. Yet every time he has a chance to prove himself, he always misses it. Whether it’s him getting ahead of himself, someone else not understanding his work and ruining it, basically any chance he has to really prove himself comes and goes so quickly he can hardly keep up.

And so he winds up overlooked. Scorned. Hated. He has a horrid reputation, but is always trying to keep going. Especially after becoming friends with Rapunzel. He feels like he really has a chance, so he keeps going. Keeps internalizing. And tries to reassure himself that his time will come some day.

But it stings, yes it stings, and -

I wanted this line on its own here. Because let’s talk about this one line. That’s probably one of my favorite lines in this song for Varian. Even before Queen for a Day. It stings. His dad constantly being disappointed in him. People discounting him because he’s small, young, rash, his inventions always blow up in his face. Even though he wants to stay positive and keeps going. Even though he wants to do his best to make his friends and, most importantly, his dad proud of him. He has to fight all the negativity that surrounds him. The POWER here, as Varian’s rushing to try to fix another of his messes, some part of him probably knowing that it wiill probably go wrong somehow, but still wanting to do good. Oof.

I’ll shed no tears, I’ll only keep on waiting If no one cheers, well I can keep on waiting Who cares how loud the silence rings

OKAY We’ll get to the last line of the song in a bit. But I want to talk about THESE THREE LINES. He doesn’t cry. He doesn’t mope. He just waits for his moment. He keeps going, and keeps triyng to find that time to shine. No matter how much he gets heckled. No matter how much he’s scorned. No matter how much he feels like no one’s on his side. He keeps pushing forward. Keeps looking for that silver lining. It doesn’t matter if they ignore him. If they avoid him. If they discredit him.

You’ll find me waiting in the wings

Because he’s always going to be there. Just waiting for his chance. No matter what, even if he’s relegated to the background character relying on Rapunzel. He’s going to find a way to get the praise he feels he deserves. That he absolutely craves from his dad and those around him. Even if he isn’t the star - as much as it hurts to not be able to do anything himself.

Waiting in the Wings (Reprise; Varian Version)

Okay so - The Reprises were the trickiest ones to work into this swap. However, with some thought, I was able to work out how to fit them in. So this is another one where the timeline of the song is the same as where his original song would be in the show. In other words, right as he came in to find Quirin fully encased. I’ll elaborate more on it later, but for now basically imagine the young Cass/Varian parts to be Varian reminiscing on the time when he was younger. Basically slipping back into his feelings as a kid and realizing that nothing has changed.

Bonus points if you can actually picture the Young Varian reminiscing parts as a tiny Varian left alone in his lab/room reading while Quirin’s out helping the villagers of Old Corona because he’s kind of a village leader-ish?

(Young Varian) Guess by now I oughta know my place Do your humble duty with a smile on your face

I should state. I by no means think Quirin is a bad parent. This is the big separation between the original reprise and Varian’s version. The original was focusing on how intentionally neglectful and emotionally manipulative Gothel was. Here, it’s more the mental state of a young/teenaged boy raised by a single father with a lot of responsibilities and who’s often worried, concerned, and frustrated at his son’s experiments.

In these lines, Varian is reminiscing on how even when he was younger, he always seemed to defy the expectations his dad had for him. He never learned to stay collected, and wasn’t a leader the way his dad was. Couldn’t just follow along and “do his humble duty” and follow what the kingdom says while smiling and ignoring what he wanted to do.

My dad knows how much I love him But he’s always doing other things So I’ll keep waiting in the wings

The pain. Quirin’s a single father. But he’s also, like I said, sort of the leader of a village. Or at least someone who’s very well-respected within the village. So naturally, he gets called on for a lot of things. He has a lot of problems he has to solve. That on top of the work he has to do in the fields? He doesn’t always have time for his son, as much as he might want to make time. I feel like that would go doubly for the fact that Varian is so clever for his age, Quirin has a hard time keeping up with all his science-y talk and alchemy experiments. So from the time Varian was young, he probably didn’t get much time with his dad.

So he was left to himself, reading thick alchemy books and Flynn Rider, performing experiments, and hoping that maybe one day his dad wouldn’t be so busy and would pay him a little attention.

(Varian) I craved so much, and yet I kept on waiting One glance, one touch, and I just kept on waiting

All he wanted was a sign. He wanted to know that his dad understood, even approved, of the things he did. He still does, even as a teenager. He kept on craving, and craving, and craving. And every little chance he got to spend even a little time with his dad, he hooked onto. Told himself that it was only a matter of time. He always knew his dad loved him, but still felt unappreciated whenever he tried to do something to help.

(Young Varian & Varian) And when it came, it came with strings

Now this line. This line was hard to pin down. Again, Quirin isn’t gothel. He genuinely loves his son - no strings attached.

But. Due to how lonely Varian was, and still is. Due to the mind of a child feeling underappreciated and wanting more time with his father. The fact that oftentimes, when Quirin did pay him attention, it was lecturing him about his alchemy. It was disappointment. It was was him seemingly ashamed of all the trouble his rambunctious boy caused. Those strings tied Varian down and kept him striving to get praise and a positive reaction for all the work he did.

(Varian) So I kept waiting in the wings

So this line. Whereas with Cass it was again, her talking about her relationship with Gothel. With Varian here the line is twofold I think. Though directly, the line could be about how he kept trying so hard to be praised to no avail. It also brings us back to the present. Where he’s kept waiting again - for any kind of help he can get. And knowing he’s just going to get scolded for the problems he caused everyone again.

So, before moving on to the next song. I want to bring out one big difference between the two reprises at this point in time. So, with the original Let Me Make You Proud reprise. The song was ominous. It was signaling after everything that happened, Varian was in a dark place. It hit us over the head with “your baby boy is going villain now”. But imagine if, instead we were left with this reprise? Varian ruminating on how even now, things haven’t changed from when he was young. He was till holding out hope for that one bit of praise. That one moment to shine. He was still so desperate to please his father, but had failed again, and could only wait on the good graces of the princess. Crying and desperate. No sign of him turning villain, but a heartbreaking place to leave off. And then we don’t hear from him agian until The Search for Varian, where he’s calling out for help yet again. We’re left hopeful for a reunion between Varian and Raps and for them to make amens. Then, when The Alchemist Returns happens, we’re initially glad to see Varian reaching out. We’re probably on his side when it comes to stealing the flower, because we’ve seen that Quirin hasn’t been the best or most reliable authority. And we want to see Varian get what he wants - free his dad. Rapunzel wants it too, so she agrees to help. But then, over the course of the episode, we see that’s not the case. We see that he’s been manipulating Rapunzel, he’s doing things the wrong way, and he’s starting to take the wrong path. This is the first warning sign. Then the end of the episode - and Varian’s last song for his arc!

Crossing The Line (Rapunzel & Varian Version)

That’s right! instead of Ready As I’ll Ever Be in Secret of the Sundrop, Varian’s big villain song happens during The Alchemist Returns. The way I see it, Crossing the Line works the same as it does originally. Raps sees a friend going down the wrong path, and tries to talk them out of it. This whole song happens in the room where the sundrop was being kept - and oh boy do some of these lines hit differently if you take Varian into consideration.

(Rapunzel) This has to stop now, whatever it is that you’re going through We’ll face it together, me and you. Just like we’ve always done (Varian) No! This has to stop now, this thing where you think that you’ve been my friend And don’t even see how you condescend, the way you’ve always done.

Hoo boy. I feel like I should say this out of the gate - Raps is my second favorite character in the series next to Varian. While I do think she has blame for some of the things that happen in the series, and the way two of her good friends turn on her, I don’t think it’s entirely on her shoulders. It’s in the way these two internalize the conflicts (more in common!). The way Varian is treated by the Kingdom in general not Rapunzel, and Cass’ inferiority complex due to her strained relationship with Gothel.

That said, seeeing the path Varian is going down, Rapunzel wants to try to keep him from going too far. She wants to free Quirin. She wants to help him, and she wants them to be able to do this together. She’s trying to pull Varian back in, and doesn’t want to push him away. She wants to understand what happened and what he’s been going through.

Varian, however, is having none of it. The way he’s rationalizing things right now, he feels dejected and left behind. He feels like Rapunzel’s just like everyone else, who’s condescended and abandoned him for so long. He’s angry, and at his breaking point.

(Rapunzel) Varian, listen (Varian: I’m listening) I know it isn’t true (Varian: Isn’t it?) Just look into my eyes, now (Varian: Well?) I know you feel it too (Varian: Perhaps I do)

Rapunzel is steadily trying to get through to him, and it’s working. Varian doesn’t actually hate her. He doesn’t want to be the bad guy. He loves Rapunzel like a sister, and he can see she’s trying to get through. He thinks that, just maybe, she’ll be willing to help him. He’s willing to reach out one more time, and he’s doubting his choices. He has been ever since he found his dad fully encased in amber.

(Rapunzel) Varian, listen (Varian: I’m listening) I swear it’s not to late So before another line gets crossed And everything we’ve had is lost. Just wait.

Cue Rapunzel’s tendency to say the entirely wrong word at the entirely wrong time. She’s almost through to him. She doesn’t want him to take the whole flower. He’s already lied to her, manipulated the whole kingdom. But there’s still a chance to make amends. They can apologize still, make things right, if he just leaves the flower. She doesn’t want to lose their friendship.

(Varian) Wait? No I won’t wait

But Varian refuses to wait again. He’s already waited. Rapunzel hasn’t kept her word so far, and at this point he can’t take agreeing to be a good boy only to wind up waiting for help that won’t come again. No, he’s going to take matters into his own hands now.

There’s a line between the winners and the losers There’s a line between the chosen and the rest

So this verse is going to be split up into a lot of small pieces - oops.

This kind of shows the way Varian thinks. He’s always had a bad reputation. He’s always felt like he’s a nobody. Like he’ll never do anything right. And he’s always around people like Rapunzel, Eugene, and Cass. He’s seen the stark contrast between the treatment he gets compared with him.

They’re the winners. They almost always get what they want. They succeed in their big dreams. Meanwhile always feels like there’s such a wide gap between others and him. While Rapunzel and the others try to bring up and support others to achieve their dreams - Varian, who’s always beaten down, feels that some people just don’t have the luck to win in life.

And I’ve done the best I could, but I always knew just where we stood Me here with the luckless, you there with the blessed

He sees his lot in life. At this point, he’s given into a lot of desperation and negative feelings. He and Rapunzel are on different sides of that gap. He always knew they did. He always seemed to make things go wrong, and Rapunzel and her friends always seemed to fix them. He’s resentful. Rapunzel gets everything. Her happy ending, her friends, her family. Meanwhile he’s left alone to sort things out.

And that line between the beggars and the choosers Is a line you never let me quite ignore

THIS LINE. This line. Hits different. You know why? “Rapunzel... I used you! I begged you and this kingdom for help. Everyone turned their back on me! It has to be this way”. He literally begged. He tried, begged to get the kingdom’s help. They weren’t exactly in the right position to help at the time, but to him the inaction alone was the same as choosing to abandon him.

This one line was actually one of the driving reasons for this whole post. Because honestly when I first thought about them fitting each other’s songs, and gave them all a new listen with the other in mind. This. Line. Hit me. Like. A truck. He feels abandoned, and like Rapunzel just keeps putting him and his goals on the backburner for everything she wants to do, no matter how much he begs and pleads for her help in his hour of need. Of course, again, it wasn’t really Raps’ choice to throw him out. She does have fault in this, she’s no perfect angel, but I feel there’s plenty of reasons she wouldn’t be able to go straight to him. Varian’s mind, however, is clouded by pain, loss, and resentment.

How I’ve tried to jump that great divide But I’ve never got the chances you were given

He’s tried so hard. He wanted to do something himself. He wanted to do something right. He wanted to be seen as on equal footing with Rapunzel and her friends. To be someone who could work with them. For his mind and alchemical know-how to be useful, somehow.

But all his chances fell flat. Comapred to Rapunzel, who’s lucked out of or worked her way out of every problem she’s faced, Varian just keeps getting dug deeper in. Things just keep going wrong.

You don’t know how much I’ve been denied Well I’m not being patient anymore

Even before meeting Rapunzel, he had a bad reputation. She doesn’t realize how hard he’s fought, and how hard he’s fallen. She has no idea how hard his life has been. How much he’s been left waiting or struggling or trying to find his way out of the negative image he had in the kingdom. He’s done being patient, he’s done doing things the nice way. He’s going to take matters into his own hands and taking action on his own to try to do something to help.

I’m crossing the line, and I’m done holding back So look out, clear the track, it’s my turn I’m taking what’s mine Every drop, every smidge

So this is a fun verse. The first couple lines don’t really mean much. It’s the same energy as the original Crossing the Line. Varian’s putting his foot down. He’s done listening to everyone else, and he’s going to do things on his own terms.

“Taking what’s mine” though is a fun line in regards to the Sundrop Flower. If it will save his dad, he’ll take whatever needs. One petal isn’t enough, so he’ll take every bit he can get his hands on. This is his chance. It’s his opportunity to save the day, he finally has it.

And he’s going to take it.

If I’m burning a bridge, let it burn But I’m crossing the line

Okay, so this is simple enough. He’s really making his point here. He’s going full villain, and he doesn’t care right now. He’s getting what he wants in life no matter what he has to do to get it, at this point. He doesn’t care if he loses his friends - he’s made it without friends before. He’s been hated by plenty of people, a few more never hurt. It’s not as important as his dad.

So this is about where I imagine Eugene, Cass, and the guard coming in.

And for us if we’re over that’s fine I’m crossing the line

And so the song ends. I feel him looking directly at Raps as he says this. He does care, deep down. He’s scared, and worried. But he tells himself it’s fine and hardens his resolve on the last line. I kind of imagine him throwing down the smoke bomb right after that bit - because it’s too perfect okaaaay?

So this does unfortunately mean there’s no big showdown musical number for Secret of the Sundrop. But that finale has plenty going for it so I think it’s fine. Unfortunately this setup means Eden won’t get a chance to exercise her singing voice until season 2. But she has plenty of chances to sing after, so ultimately I think it’s fine to let Varian get the spotlight after this. Since he won’t really get another primary singing part outside of an ensemble other than Nothing Left to Lose.

So, we’re on to season 2 and Cass’ arc! Hope y’all are ready cuz I’ve got some good ones for this one too. Starting with

Let Me Make You Proud (Cassandra Version)

So Cass’ version of Let Me Make You Proud is a bit interesting. Because Varian’s main motivation is making his dad proud and doing right in his eyes. For Cass, taht’s a player - but at this point in the story, and her character arc, this song is more her pleading for Raps to trust her. Yes, her dad and the Corona Royal Guard and her dreams of becoming part of them is another element to it. But go into it with the line that Raps and the group’s trust and respect is first, and her dad and the guard’s is second.

It happens in the same place as Waiting in the Wings - as the gang is resting in the Great Tree, kind of stewing in her resentment toward Adira and desire to get the attention of the others.

Maybe I make things a mess And maybe you’re right to have doubts in me Maybe, but nevertheless If you for once could just trust me

So, Cass is a bit bitter lately. She hates that Rapunzel has been relying on Adira so much, and wants so much for her to rely more on her, like she used to. Sure, those issues have caused her to be snippy and that might have caused some tensions and trouble. Sure, they’ve had their problems, but she just wants Rapunzel to trust her and take her side once. She’s been siding with Adira the whole way through the tree, and though Cass doesn’t trust her, Raps isn’t considering her opinion at all.

“If you for once could just trust me” I think really sums up Cass’ feelings at this point. She’d thought she’d proven herself. Shown she was capable. But still, Rapunzel keeps leaning to Adira’s logic rather than following Cass.

Just this once, let me come through for you The way that you want me to

She knows Rapunzel has always been rooting for her. She knows she’s been relied on plenty, and she knows that Rapunzel understands she’s capable. Yet, lately, she’s been so enamored with Adira that she hasn’t given Cass the chance to prove herself, and she hasn’t listened. All she wants is once, one time that she’d let her logic be right and choose her option over Adira’s. She doesn’t want want to be overshadowed. Eugene did great in the wilderness, Adira knows the local area, and she’s falling behind. But she can still do this.

She wants to be able to protect not just Rapunzel, but all her friends. But Rapunzel is too fixated on not needing to be protected at all.

Let me make you proud Let me show you the best in me Let me give you a reason to believe that I can stand tall

She wants Rapunzel to be proud to call her a friend. She wants to show everyone what she’s capable of. Show them she’s reliable, strong, and that they need to have her around. No more sidelining - she wants to be able to stand among them and say she’s made valuable contributions. That they can give her the chance to be right about something - because she really feels she’s right in distrusting Adira.

And when we return, and I’m more than you dreamt I’d be Maybe then, you will realize that you never actually knew me at all

So this can take two forms. It can keep up the Rapunzel route. Basically saying that once this journey is over and they’ve achieved their goals, maybe Rapunzel will see that she had been right all along. In the thick of it, maybe she’ll finally understand that Cass has been struggling and working to protect Rapunzel, but also to be seen as her equal (a funny theme between Cass and Varian. They just want to be equals).

Rapunzel doesn’t see what Cass wants. She doesn’t understand who Cass is. She’s almost certain she needs to find away to step into her own and get Rapunzel’s attention. And once she’s larger than life after having helped Rapunzel jump hurdles to get to the moonstone - maybe she’ll finally understand.

Secondarily, it could lead into the small part of Cassandra that still yearns for her dad and the guard’s recognition. After the Varian arc, she’s kind of earned it, but she’s not an official guard yet. She wants this to be her chance to really show her worth and show her dad she’s more than just his daughter - she’s a fighter.

She wants to be more than he’d ever expected by going on a major adventure like this and coming out on top. This is her big chance in more ways than one.

Sure I’ve made lots of mistakes I know that I’ve disappointed you Still though, whatever it takes I’m gonna fix it just watch me Just you wait, I’ll make it up to you If it’s the last thing I ever do

So I’m lumping a whole verse together here, because it kind of has the same vibes. It’s basically just Cass talking to both Rapunzel and her father. Saying that she knows she’s made mistakes in the past. Both during the first season and up through The Great Tree. She’s messed up. She’s distrustful, she’s caused a lot of trouble, but she’s dedicated and devoted.

She’s going to show them what she can do, make up for all the mistakes she’s made. She’s going to come around and make everything up to Rapunzel and her dad. Making things up to them and trying to reconcile their differences and show them that she can be trusted. She’s determined to find a way to make it work, and it doesn’t matter what happens as long as she gets through to them.

She’d do anything if it meant getting Rapunzel and her father’s approval.

I will make you proud I will make you have faith in me I will prove that the way I used to be is all in the past I will save the day and go back home triumphantly

So this is a big verse. It comes off a bit different with Cassandra than with Varian, I feel. With Varian, he’s being a smol bean determinator here. He’s trying to push back all the trouble he’s caused and problems he’s created and is so determined, he’s saying he’s definitely going to get over this hurdle.

With Cassandra, I think some of that determinator vibe is still there. But it’s also a little... angry. She’s been shoved off to the side for Adira the last time. She’s at her tipping point, and she’s absolutely going to make Rapunzel listen to her. She wants so hard for Rapunzel to trust her that she’s becoming forceful and angry. But she’s going to prove to Rapunzel, and to everyone, that she’s done taking orders and being overlooked.

She’s going to be triumphant. She’s going to return home with her head held high and with the respect of thsoe around her. Whatever it takes. She’s going to do it.

Cause I long for that look of surprise when you see that I’m rising at last The pride in your eyes when you see that I’m rising at last

This is what she wants more than anything. She just wants to be able to achieve her goals. She’s got big ones, but she knows she can do it. And she wants her dad and Rapunzel to understand her. To trust her. To confide in her in a way they just don’t right now. She wants to be a protector, a friend, someone they trust to get things done.

She knows, that once she’s done with this journey, she’ll have that. And she’s going to have everything she’s always dreamed of. She loves Rapunzel, and her dad, but what she really wants is to rise to a position where she can prove to them that there’s more to her than what they’ve always assumed.

So we’re swapping out tones here. Varian’s character song is the more somber “waiting in the wings”, and Cass’ is the more hopeful “let me make you proud”. Honestly, I feel like this fits each of them very well. I think the best part of these songs is that they both have balances of both somber and positive moments. But whiel I do think it fits Varian’s more positive personality to be more optimistic and hopeful, while Cass’ cynicism shows through in “waiting in the wings”, I think swapping up the songs brings more to both characters.

Varian’s a cute, bubbly boy in the beginning, sure. But he had a bad reputation. He’s caused a lot of trouble with his alchemy, and he’s at his breaking point. Cass is a cynic and a realist, sure. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have hopes and dreams of her own. And she loves Rapunzel and her kingdom and wants to protect them so badly - giving her a little optimism I think works out really well. And, like Varian, her hopeful tone is dashed when Rapunzel uses the Decay Incantation again despite her warnings, and she yet again gets shelved for Adira’s and Rapunzel’s judgement.

She harbors that for a while until eventually, she meets Zhan Tiri in the house of yesterday’s tomorrow.

Let Me Make You Proud (Reprise; Cassandra Version)

Yeah. This reprise was honestly the bane of my existence planning this out. As I said before, the reprises were the trickiest ones I had to place, and the last two songs I was able to properly figure out a swap for. But this one in particular was really tough, because it’s VERY situational. The lyrics were really hard to work with, but I came up with what I think to be a good workaround for it that really helps bring Cassandra’s reasoning home.

As compared to the original reprise, which acts as the big moment where the fans figure out Varian is going bad, the fans already know Cass is turning on Rapunzel at this point. So there’s less of a surprise element here. But it really hammers home the emotion in Cassandra when she does step over that line and decide to become a villain.

So rather than talking to someone specifically here, I feel that Cass is talking more to herself. Rather than the Waiting in the Wings reprise that leads into Zhan Tiri convincing her that she needs to take the Moonstone, this happens after that. It’s just before we come back to the present.

I will make you proud Get the answers and set you free Don’t you worry Whtever it might take, I’m finding a way

So I mentioned Cass was talking to herself here. Rather, she’s talking to the vision of the younger her that Zhan Tiri is showing her. It’s sort of her way of deciding she’s going to make things better and free herself of all the people pleasing and being strung along. She’s tired of playing second fiddle. She’s going to solve this problem, stop playing second fiddle, and do whatever it takes to break free of the pain of being underestimated.

She’s promising herself, the younger version of her, that she’s done feeling trapped. She’s done waiting. She’s done following along. It’s time to stop doing what’s best for others, and do what’s best for her.

And I swear right now that no matter what comes of me Anybody who stands or has stood in my path They are going to pay. They. Will. Pay

This is a more aggressive turn than the original Waiting in the Wings reprise. She’s decided from this point on that she’s going to fulfill her own destiny. She’s not going to just follow Rapunzel around to help with hers - she’s going to make this her story.

And it doesn’t matter who stands in her way. She’s finally going to get what she wants for a change, instead of sitting back and letting others have their way. Everyone is going to pay for underestimating her, and they’re finally going to see what she’s capable of.

I know this section is a bit short - I’m really sorry about that. But the reprises are short, this one in particular. And the Let Me Make You Proud reprise is fairly straightforward as it is. But dooon’t worry, because I saved a fandom favorite for last

Ready As I’ll Ever Be (Songswap Version)

So this is an ensemble song so it’s not really ANYONE’S version. BUT I think it would really hit differently in Plus Est En Vous, either replacing or not long after Through It All. A big final rallying cry to free Corona from Cass and maybe turn her around - all the while Cass is fighting her own inner battle.

So let’s get into it.

(Cassandra) Believe me I know, I’ve sunk pretty low But whatever I’ve done, you’ve deserved (Zhan Tiri: Cassandra -) (Cassandra: Quiet!) I’m the bad guy, that’s fine It’s no fault of mine and some justice at last will be served (Zhan Tiri: Just focus)

So I’m sure one big thing stands out here. We all know the original context of Ready As I’ll Ever Be. However, the context in songswap is different. So one key character has changed. Arianna is replaced with Zhan Tiri. Rather than a pleading captive, Zhan Tiri is egging Cass on. She’s trying to get her to do what she wants, and while she’s mostly succeeding, Cass still wants to do things on her terms.

At this point, she doesn’t care if she’s the bad guy. She might not have considered herself as such before, but now she has to face the facts. Still, if it means getting respect and

Now it’s time to step up, or it’s time to back down And there’s only one answer for me And I’ll stand up and fight, cause I know that I’m right And I’m ready, I’m ready I’m ready Ready as I’ll ever be

She’s backed herself into a corner, now. She knows there’s only one thing she can do. There’s no going back and getting the kingdom’s forgiveness, now. They’re against her, and she’s ready to fight back. If they won’t accept her, then she’ll play the role of the villain.

She knows she wasn’t wrong. She knows this isn’t her fault. They turned on her. She tried to correct things, but the kingdom had already turned on her. She’s come too far to turn back. So she’s ready to do what she has to - defeat Rapunzel and prove herself stronger and better. She’ll be number one for a change.

(Varian) Now it’s time to rise up, or it’s time to stand down And the answer is easy to see Our home will be restored! If you’re in get on board! Are you ready? (Eugene: I’m ready! Lance: We’re ready!) Ready as I’ll ever be

Varian gets to be a charismatic leader yay! He’s working together with Eugene rallying the troops here. After everything he’s done, the people of Corona trust him enough to help fight off Cassandra - and now he’s ready to prove himself once and for all.

Bonus points: Rather than Eugene and the Royal Guard doing the “We’re ready”s I made it Eugene and Lance. Lance is a more major character here, he can have his own line! Also, rather than the more grim motion of Eugene, Lance and the guard taking up swords. There’s a slightly more optimistic motion of the two of them backing up Varian as he rallies everyone with his infectious optimism. Finally, on Varian’s ‘ready as I’ll ever be’, Quirin places a hand on his shoulder and gives a proud smile cuz his boy is finally proving himself. Need to pack in those redeemed baby feels.

(Frederic) Are you quite sure we can do this? (Rapunzel) Together we will, guaranteed!

Another one that’s a BIT more hopeful than the original. Not by much. Frederic’s still a worry wart, and their whole kingdom is at stake, after all. However, the whole Royal family is together, and they’re ready to take their kingdom back. Just a small note in there, since this section doesn’t really change much!

(Cassandra) I’ll make them hear me (Varian) Prove they can trust me (Rapunzel) I’ll save my home and family

So this section was another big reason I made this post. It’s another one of those lines that has me super passionate about this song swap, because think about how different these lines hit at this point in time. Honestly? I think it really works in this context more than the original context.

Because Cassandra is out to make herself heard. It’s not a revenge plan being concocted out of momentary anger, like Varian. She’s doing this because she felt underappreciated. She’s going to make them hear her. She’s going to make sure that she doesn’t go unrecognized again by proving she’s better than Rapunzel once and for all.

Meanwhile, Varian’s out to prove himself for real. Compared to the original context of Cass proving herself to her father and the guard - which was huge in season one - the stakes are even bigger here. Varian’s out to prove himself to an entire kingdom. To the people he’s wronged. To show that he’s really turned around, and that he’s someone the kingdom, his friends, and his dad can be proud of.

Rapunzel’s hits mostly the same. However, right now, the ‘home and family’ line is on a bit of a larger scale. She’s out to save her entire kingdom. And her family - including her friends and subjects. Compared to Varian’s plan that more directly targetted hte royal family, Cassandra and Zhan Tiri are targetting the entire kingdom - and Rapunzel, the little ray of sunshine she is, is determined to protect all of it. Because it’s all her home and everyone in it is like family to her.

(Eugene) And I’m ready (Varian) I’m ready (Royal family) I’m ready (Cassandra) Ready as I’ll ever be

So I omitted the big Ensemble’s part to focus on the smaller “I’m ready”s and the previous three lines here. That doesn’t mean The ensemble isn’t present in these parts. It just means that I didn’t want to focus on them. Their part doesn’t really change the context of the song at all. This part doesn’t, either, really. But I wanted to close the song out cleanly, so you get a proper ending here. That being said, this project was HUGE. While I wrote up the post itself in the span of a day, I’ve been thinking about this and trying to figure out how each song would work in the different context throughout my work on my current ongoing projects, since the ending of the series. It started as a small epiphany I shared with friends, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it - so here we go.

Cass and Varian are both amazing. And I think it’s so amazing that their motivations and thought process, though different in certain fundamental ways, align enough for these songs to work no matter which context they’re in. I don’t know if anyone else noticed or thought of this - but it was a blast to write and I’m glad to finally have it on paper.! Thanks for taking the time to read this monster, to everyone who made it all the way through.

#tangled #rapunzel's tangled adventure #rta #varian #cassandra #tts #song swap

9 notes · View notes