#its just that ive been thinking about this for weeks i need to caress them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thithesandofferings · 4 years ago

Text

“Open Wide”- Ogami Shirou x Reader

TW: 18+ MINORS DNI!! Dom!Shirou/Sub!FemReader, Comeplay, Choking, Voice Kink, Rough Sex, Praise Kink, Degradation, lil bit Size Kink SMUT!!

This is bad .

“Look at you Alan, I thought you said Purebloods didnt get Nirvalys Syndrome? Let me put in into you, before you lose your mind”

Who says stuff like that to the enemy? Ive never seen Shiro this angry before. Especially to say words like that. He barely speaks at all most days. Only when he absolutely has to. This should surprise me or- or stress me out but-

It's so hot.

Link to my Ao3 for this fic= https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414948

This is bad .

“Look at you Alan, I thought you said Purebloods didnt get Nirvalys Syndrome? Let me put it into you, before you lose your mind”

Who says stuff like that to the enemy? Ive never seen Shirou this angry before. Especially to say words such as that. He barely speaks at all most days. Only when he has to. This should surprise me or- or stress me out but-

It's so hot.

“Hey you! Look alive we gotta go!” Michiru yelled, startling me out of a downward spiral.

She was right. I had to get out of there before the place was destroyed to shreds. I could barely think. All I could think about was Shirou splitting that evil bastard's mouth open and putting his power inside it.

I couldnt help but feel jealous.

His wolf had such a presence on its own, how could I not be affected.

I needed to get it together, there were still people that needed to be saved. I shook my head and ran after Michiru towards Shirou. She was chattering excitedly, but I honestly couldnt understand anything she was saying. My eyes were on him.

He must’ve caught something in my gaze because he turned his attention to me.

“You okay?” His voice was gruff from exertion and I had to take a calming breath from the shiver that coursed down my spine. He caught that too.

“I should be asking you that Shirou” I looked away, but with a sideways glance I grumbled that he was, in fact, amazing. He raised his nose a notch, almost an afterthought, and I could see him take a deep breath.

With his penetrating gaze solely on mine, I could feel my pulse jump and my temperature rack up a thousand degrees, I had to look away. He scoffed, almost smugly, and slid attention back to Michiru, who was still talking and running around. Something about having Shirou howl to the town.

We watched as he changed into his silver wolf form again to howl into the microphone. It was a beautiful site to see. Seeing all the animals completely stop what they were doing just to howl with him. Alan had no idea what he had been talking about.

Shirou had the Howl.

Michiro and I could only watch in awe. We were born human turned animals so we didnt have the innate instinct to go along with him. It was such an eye-opening experience, so much so that I felt a little empty at not being able to do it. Shirou looked so regal, the urge to fall on my knees in front of him was an encompassing feeling.

Shaking violently at the thought, I had to blow out a long soul-suffering sigh. Michiru glanced with eyebrows in an “are you okay” motion and I could only just nod.

What is going on with me? Where are my thoughts?

I had hoped that thoughts of Shirou would leave. The attention was of us and finally life was, in all intensive purposes, back to normal. Michiru was able to hang out with her fellow friends, and I- was able to start my work in the office.

Except, I could get nothing done.

Shirou was constantly in my peripheral, working on whatever case was in that week. But when he wasnt there, he was in my mind whispering in his growling voice about the things he could do to me.

I was dying.

There would be times where I would stare at a research book, never turning the page, just staring. It was becoming so hectic that Shirou asked if I needed time off.

“I know its been hard for everyone” Shirou had said. He had been in that leather jacket again. Who wears gloves inside? Why was it so hot?

Its not fair.

“What's not fair?” I looked up from his gloved hands and I could feel my heart rate sky rocket in panic.

I said that out loud.

His gaze is so piercing, it felt like he was staring into my soul. He was leaning on my door frame, completely relaxed. His usual bored expression was placed with something that was almost- teasing? Not that couldnt be right.

But it had been the same expression and mood for weeks now. His casual bumps and grins were so much that Ive had to actively avoid him before I had a heart attack. I wasnt in control of my emotions half the time, so any sort of embarrassment would make me change into my animal form. Even through his cold demeanor, it still seemed like he was laughing at me. I'm sure he could tell that I was flustered, especially when he turned into his wolf form. It always made my blood pressure go up and something slick slide down my thighs.

Which is what was happening now.

Oh no.

I prayed that he wouldnt notice anything amiss, but the world wasnt on my side. He lifted his nose up again and sniffed. It was as if he was trying to find someone miles away, but when he finally looked towards me, his pupils were wide open. Alert.

“You never answered my question.”

There was a hitch in my breath at that tone. That growl that Ive been dreaming about for weeks.

I’m so fucked.

“I-i uhm… sorry what?” I could feel myself blinking rapidly. I couldn’t get my thoughts in order. This was getting ridiculous.

“You humans are very odd,” Shirou rose up from the door, and for a moment I felt relief only to freeze when he closed my door.

With him still inside. We’re alone.

“You even more so.”

He walked slowly towards my desk. Well more like prowled. There was intent in his walk.

I’ve never felt more like prey than right now.

“I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me” He’s whispering now. His gloved fingers gently spread out to the edge of my desk and he leans over it.

He’s so close.

“I smell you all day. Its intoxicating.” One hand lifts up and brushes my cheek, I know he can feel the heat.

“You’re the first human that I have ever wanted”

I froze.

Hes been feeling the same? From his expression and the dropping of at least two octaves, it was definitely confirmed.

“I- uh I want you too” My voice was hoarse from emotion. He could hear it just fine it seemed because if his pupils werent blown out before, they sure were now.

Shirou visibly licked his lips and I couldn’t help but follow the motion. He watched me watch him and he grinned, showing his fangs in satisfaction.

“Good because I plan to devour you. Stand up”

I could barely hear the order due to his growling. His ravenous expression was drowning me. I was swimming in heat and desire.

“I wont ask again”

Shirous’ voice snapped me back into reality and with shaky sweaty palms I pushed my chair away and stood. He never told me to move so I just stayed there. He seemed very pleased that I didn’t move.

Not like I could, I was barely able to breathe.

He stalked slowly around my desk until he was behind me, moving the chair completely across the room. It crashed into a plant and I jumped, still not moving an inch.

I could feel his breath across my nape and goosebumps coursed down my skin. I could feel him smelling my hair, breathing in the sweat that I felt that I was pouring out. I tried to move away, embarrassed, but I could feel his grip tighten and him growl at my into my neck.

“Stay still” He whispered. “You can be a good girl and do that for me right?”

I froze at the pet name. I’ve never heard him call me anything other than my last name. I couldn’t believe how it affected at me. I could feel myself become even more drenched.

He could tell.

“Oh? You like that huh?”

I felt his leathered hands slide slowly underneath my shirt and palm my breast. I gasped, my head falling on his shoulder at the groping. This was getting intense fast. I heard something tearing and tried to glance down only to have one of his hands press lightly at my neck. Holding me still.

Shirou shushed me, keeping his hand curled around my throat. Murmuring something about not needing this or that, I felt fabric fall at my feet and my chest became covered in hot leather. I let out a choked moan, only to have his grip tightened.

“You’re gonna have to be a quiet pup, you don't want all your colleagues to know what you're doing right?” He was so mocking, I couldnt help but feel flustered with how demeaning he sounded.

I nodded knowing I couldnt say anything in this position.

“Thats right, good girl, now go on bend over the desk” He slipped his hands away and disorientation readily slid back into my head.

I laid over my desk, paper be damned, and wrapped my hands over the edge to hold on. I heard him growl in confirmation at the act and I preened at the act of pleasing him.

I’ve never felt this way. I was completely ok with him taking the reigns. I didnt have many braincells left, I could barely think. All I could do was just do.

Shirou hands caressed my ass in appreciation, his ungloved hand (when had that happened?) made a purposeful track up to my waistband, hastily taking them off. I was completely soaked and hearing him swear obscenities definitely didnt help.

“I can’t wait to knot you, pup” I felt his weight against me, his bare chest completely covering my whole body. He was so warm, degrees hotter than his normal, his breath hot on my cheek as he licked my face from chin to forehead.

“The real question is,” he says through licks down my spine. “Which form do I want to take you hm?” I shivered violently at the thought of Shirou taking me in my wolf form. Outside of Anima city it is forbidden to have any of those kind of thoughts. But you couldnt help that you constantly thought about Shirou fucking you in his wolf form.

I could hear his deep chuckle at my spine. He knew my answer.

I felt him nose my wetness and my breath hitches. It didnt last for more than 5 seconds and I could hear myself grown out against the desk.

“I would love to taste you, but unfortunately we dont have that kind of time.” There was a zipping noise and I tensed, gushing even more at the thought of what it could be.

“I would need hours to be satisfied from your taste” He is suddenly in my ear. “But I plan to fuck you like you need it.”

I could hear myself mewling at the thought. I’ve been wanting this for weeks. I cant believe someone like Shirou even wants to touch me. Shirou, cool-mannered and distant, wants to fuck me five ways to Sunday is honeslty an eye opening experience.

There is a clicking sound and I gasped. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didnt feel the fingers. I could feel myself clenching around and my mewling became even louder. Colleagues be damned.

There was an surprised hum from behind me.

“You’ve been touching yourself?” All I could do was nod embarrassed. He cooed sweetly and added 3 fingers inside of me.

“What were you thinking about? Were you thinking of me? Tell me” I gasped in affirmations. I couldnt take it anymore. I needed inside of me now.

I felt like I was going to die.

“P-please Shiro, I need it.”

“You need what pup?” He grinned savagely and I felt something hard and hot against me.

I wiggled in frustration. Only to have him laugh and hold my hips still. Using his strength to make me stay still.

I was going to have bruises.

“Please fuck me Shirou” I whispered into my shoulder. I knew he could hear me. I felt my chest tighten at the gasp and growl.

“Good girl.” I shivered and gasped as he pushed the head in with a savage force of his hips.

“I wont hold back pup” He laid his furry chest against my back “You might be ruined for any one else.”

“I dont want you to Shirou, give me your all”

A growl was heard and then the most intense feeling of my life was radiating through my whole body.

He thrusted so hard that I could hear the desk screeching. The other colleagues, if they were still there, would definitely hear it. I prayed that they weren’t gonna check to see if I was okay. I wouldnt be able to speak anyways. I’m pretty much holding on dear life on the desk. There was no way I was able to explain anything.

Shirou didn’t seem to care either. The constant growling and heavy breathing that was coming from him was telling.

“Youre so tight, I cant believe all of me fit inside of you” He groaned and all I could do was tighten around him, which made him go even faster. There was a crack from the desk, but I ignored it. All I could concentrate on was the heat and his cock bruising my insides.

“Mine mine mine MINE” He stopped abruptly and pulled out. Only to pick me up effortlessly and turn me around, my back hitting the desk.

He entered me again and with that the world was crashing around me. I’d never come so fast in my life. Watching him in his wolf form growl over me as he pounded me into the afterlife, I wasnt gonna last long.

Seemed like he wasnt either, his thrust got more savage and I got louder. He took his right hand and placed it at my throat again to cut off the noise.

“Be quiet while I shove my knot inside you, I need to concentrate” It made me fall again, shivering while he grinded his knot inside me. He came with a roar, tightening his hands on my throat, cutting off my sound.

“Shhhh, good girl, you did so good” He whispered praises to me while he continued to grind himself inside me. He lifted his hand and I gasped dazed.

He looked up at me and caught my disheveled appearance and grinned.

“Dont move, I’m not done.”

I returned the grin.

“Good Shirou, cause neither am I”

#brand new animal #bna #shirou ogami #shirou ogami x reader #bna headcanons #bna drabble #i just live for this

669 notes · View notes

crowfootwrites · 4 years ago

Text

The Boyfriend | Part III [Taza Romero x Fem!Reader]

Soooo, I know I said this was going to be the last part, but I'm nothing if not a wordy bitch. So there will actually be one final part after this, which will offer more explanation and serve to wrap things up.

Warnings: angst; family drama; pregnancy & pregnancy complications; depictions of pain; emergency medical personnel and hospitals; language | Words: 1,243

Part I of The Boyfriend | Part II of The Boyfriend

Taglist: @chibsytelford

The soft morning breeze caressed your cheeks as you sat in the old rocking chair on the porch, your cup of tea resting steadily on your swollen belly. You gazed out over the quiet ranch, Taza’s horses grazing contentedly in the distance, trees bursting with birdsong as the sun started its slow climb over the horizon. Your due date was just a couple weeks out, and you couldn’t wait to have your baby in your arms.

A soft tapping drew you out of your reverie and you glanced over your shoulder to see Taza pushing off the door frame with a tender smile, coming to sit in the chair beside you. He was wrapped in a flannel robe, his eyes still heavy with sleep.

“Qué estás pensando (What are you thinking)?” he asked quietly, interlacing his fingers with yours on the arm of your chair.

You smiled dreamily. “Just ready to meet them.”

Taza grinned, nodding his agreement. “Any day now.”

The two of you sat in silence for a while, watching as the sun brightened the sky and the world stretched to life.

You felt the shift in Taza’s demeanor before he even opened his mouth, his hand twitching almost imperceptibly in your grasp.

“Have you given any more thought to your dad’s message?”

You heaved a considerable sigh, jostling the teacup on your belly. Your father had sent you a text message the week prior, apologizing for your mother’s “inexcusable” behavior at dinner, and asking how he could make things right. Your father was a good man. You knew he wanted to fix things, that he ultimately wanted to be involved in his grandchild’s life. But it irked you that the apologies were coming from the wrong person. There had been nothing but radio silence from your mother. And while you had never been particularly close to your parents, and your relationship with your mother was obviously flawed, the process of becoming a mother yourself had you overanalyzing your entire personal history.

You had tried, over and over again, to understand your mother’s perspective. But ultimately, you had reasoned that perhaps the two of you just had diametrically opposed values. You had hoped that your mother would have the opportunity, over the course of your pregnancy, to see how wonderful Taza was, how loving and stable. How much you loved each other, and how ready you both were to welcome a child into the world. That his age didn’t matter, and neither did the lack of a marriage certificate. And most of all, that those things were your decision to make and that she should trust you enough to make good choices for yourself. But after your mother’s most recent blow-up, you were done. You had come to understand that she was never going to see things that way.

Then came your father’s text. You could tell it hurt him to be so disconnected from you, and you hated to be even part of the reason for his unhappiness. At the time, you had responded asking for time to think about things. But you were honestly no closer to a solution than you had been then.

“I met with him.”

You whipped your head around to frown at your boyfriend and he rushed to explain.

“He texted me, mi amor, and I felt bad. I couldn’t imagine if we had a daughter and I wasn’t welcome around her.”

“He is welcome,” you snapped. Taza gazed at you skeptically.

“You and I both know your mother would give him hell if he came here to see you,” he reminded you.

Your jaw clenched impulsively. “Sounds like a personal problem,” you ground out, although you knew Taza was right. You wouldn’t want you put your father through that. You heard Taza’s mild sigh beside you and echoed it with one of your own.

“I just don’t know what to do,” you grumbled. “I don’t know how to fix it. And I also don’t think it should be on me to fix it. She’s the one with a problem.”

Taza chuckled and patted your hand. “Let’s hope this baby doesn’t wind up with your stubborn streak or the two of you will put me in an early grave.”

“Oh, you think I’m the one with the problem?” you demanded. You were nothing if not relentless.

“No, amor,” Taza replied, backpedaling. “I think both of you have things you need to work out with each other. Besides, it’s been a couple of months. Maybe she’s come around?”

***

You should have never agreed to him going on a run this close to your due date. It was only for the day, but as your luck would have it, he had been gone no more than an hour when you felt the rush of water between your legs. And it was in that moment that you knew something was very wrong. Sharp pains tore across your lower belly like white hot fire. You cried out, clutching at the kitchen countertop, trying to keep your legs under you. Panicked tears sprang to your eyes as your mind reeled.

You snatched your phone off the counter, doubled-over in agony. With trembling hands, you hit Taza’s speed dial button. He answered as your belly spasmed and you cried out again.

“Something’s wrong,” you whimpered, your teeth clenched together against the pain. Tears tumbled over your cheeks.

“Fuck!” Taza growled, and you heard him shouting something away from the phone. Your knees buckled and you found yourself on your hands and knees on the floor. You set the phone beside you, hitting the speaker button in a panic. Your breath was coming in shallow bursts and a small ache was blooming in your chest. Your thoughts spun chaotically and you couldn’t seem to grab on to just one. You could hear Taza through the phone, talking to you again, and you honed in on the familiar sound.

“Baby, I’m turning around but I’m an hour away. You need to call an ambulance, ok? Can you do that for me, amor?”

A sob slipped out as you opened your mouth to respond. You clutched at your belly, as though it could soothe the child inside you. The two of you were going to be well and truly alone for this. “Yes,” you cried. “I love you, please hurry.” You ended the call to frantically dial 911.

The arrival of EMTs and the ambulance ride to the hospital were a blur, the hurt dulling your senses to everything that wasn’t the scorching razor edge of pain in your belly. You vaguely remembered answering questions, and one of them taking your phone, talking to Taza reassuringly in the background of your mind. You asked, sheer panic gripping your chest, if your baby was alright. You didn’t get an answer as the EMTs whirled around you, hooking you up to wires and oxygen. Your heart raced, thumping like it would burst out of your chest and you clamped your eyes shut, trying to focus on your breath.

When you arrived at the hospital, you were rushed into an OR, watching the hospital lights flash above your gurney as though you were in a televised medical drama. In the OR, the beeping and piercing alarms of multiple monitors ricocheted in your skull, punctuated by waves of discomfort. You remember someone in scrubs placing a blue plastic breathing mask over your nose and mouth, and then darkness.

Part IV of The Boyfriend

#mayans fx #mayans mc #mayansmc #taza romero #taza romero x reader #taza romero imagine #mayans mc imagine #mayans oneshot #che taza romero

195 notes · View notes

streetlight11 · 4 years ago

Text

Dystopia pt 8 (FINALE)

Summary: You were an Amity born. You were taught to value kindness and harmony. But you also valued bravery and knowledge. After the test to see which faction best suited you, you were given the choice to either stay in your faction or leave. When you chose to leave your faction for another, your whole life changed and you wondered if it was the right decision. You pondered over it at first, all until you met him.

Theme: Divergent au, strangers to lovers

Genre: mild action [I tried], angst, fluff, slowburn

Warnings: mentions of blood and violence

WC: 3.6k

Pairing: Trainer!Jungkook x Initiate!FemReader

Tips: In this whole series, Y/N is a few years younger than JK. Those who were initiates like Y/N that just ended the Choosing Ceremony, are all the same age. None of these characters portray who the mentioned people are in real life whatsoever! It's just a fictional character!

a/n: Hello! Guess what? You made it to the end! I know this is a short series but I'm more than thankful if you have made it this far. Although it's quite short for a finale, I hope I didn't disappoint you too much! But anyways, here's the final part for this series :) Enjoyyy

~~~

With hurried steps, all three of them quickly hollered their way through the facility in hopes that they would reach the dorms in time. Jungkook’s heart was beating so fast against his chest, unsure if he could even calm himself down knowing something bad had happened to you. That was the last thing he wanted. From the day he saw you a few weeks back, he knew he would like you.

He knew there was something about you that leaves him being all clammy and nervous despite his amazing skill at hiding his emotions. Jungkook never knew he would manage to get close to you, thinking it was impossible considering he was a trainer and you were an initiate.

However, it looks like fate has a different plan for you and him when he saw you training by yourself in the middle of the night. That was when he first got to have a close interaction with you.

Even though it was just him teaching you basic tips on how to improve your skills for each of the different skill sets, he still got to talk to you and also earn your trust after a while. And as the days gradually went by, it was needless to say that Jungkook had grown so fond of you and even had a crush on you.

Yes, a Dauntless Trainer having a crush on a Dauntless Initiate.

How cute.

Ultimately, it all goes downhill for him as he finally arrives at the shared dormitory, only to find the rest of the initiates crowding around at one spot. The minute Jungkook and Changkyun pushed through the crowd, their hearts stopped for a millisecond upon seeing what the fuss was about.

There you were, cradled in Hyunjae’s arms as Gahyeon was crying with her hands desperately pressing what looks to be a completely blood soaked towel against your throat.

Your throat has been slit, not too deep to kill you but just enough to render you voiceless.

You were just turning around on your bed when you peeked your eyes open out of instinct, feeling as though you were being watched. Except, you weren’t expecting for it to be legit. Because the minute you opened your eyes, there was a hooded figure looming over you with a hand raised to their head level with what looks to be a knife from the Training Room.

Fuck!

Before your mind could react, your body seemed to move faster as your arms swiveled to a cross position over your face right when the person launched his attack to your head.

With the tip of its blade just barely missing your right eye socket.

You used all your energy to shove their hand away using your arms, only to kick their stomach harshly. They stumbled back a little before lunging back at you. However, you quickly rolled out of bed to your left, falling to the ground with a soft thud just as they plunged the blade into the mattress right where your chest would’ve been.

You rushed to your feet, making a break for it to the open toilet but your steps faltered when you felt a sharp stab to your calf.

“Ah! Fuck!” You loudly hissed to yourself.

The blade got pulled out of your leg harshly, only for you to flip around on the ground.

The person kneeled over you as they tried to stab you in the face again but you managed to grab their wrist with both hands. They were strong. A little too strong if you say so yourself. However, for some reason, you felt like you knew this person.

You were struggling. You were struggling hard to push their hand away. Mustering whatever strength you had left, you used all your power to push them back.

For a moment, you were glad that they nearly fell off you.

However, you weren’t mentally and physically ready for what he was about to do next. And that was for him to make one swift swing of his arm. It all happened so fast, you didn’t even realize what he did until you felt something wet trickle down your neck. You tried to curse at them but instead you were shocked when nothing came out of your mouth.

That wasn’t until one of your hands reached up for your throat and you felt it.

The open slit, the feeling of wet liquid, your nostrils filling with the strong smell of copper, and finally, bringing your fingers up to see your fingers coated in your own red crimson blood.

Your mouth hung agape as you tried to speak but there was nothing. Tears welled up in your eyes as the person got up and smirked down at you.

“Goodnight loser. I hope you rot in hell.”

They soon took off running, leaving you there helpless with no voice to scream for help, to tell people who did it. But of course, you weren’t stupid. Despite the lack of light, only an idiot couldn’t catch on easily. For there is only one person who calls you ‘Loser’ right from the start. Your doubts were confirmed the minute that nickname left their lips.

Dumb move Yeonjun.

Since you couldn’t scream for help, you slowly began to drag yourself across the room, leaving a long trail of blood behind your leg where you got stabbed only to reach the end of Gahyeon’s bed.

With one swift grasp, you managed to hold onto her shirt and that was enough to wake her.

It took her a second to realize what happened until she saw the trail of blood on the floor and your bleeding throat that you were desperately putting pressure on. She let out a shrilling scream before yelling for help from the others. Everyone began to panic at the gruesome scene, making Hyunjae cradle you while Yunho rushed out to get help.

Jungkook carried you to the hospital wing, with Gahyeon, Hyunjae, Yunho and Changkyun tagging along. One of the nurses inspected your injury, seeing that you’ve lost quite a bit of blood. She mentioned that they had to give you some blood in order to save you and they have to be the same blood type as yours. After much inspection, it was clear that only Jungkook and Hyunjae shared the same blood type as you.

Both of them offered to donate some of their blood to you to save your life. While the two were being drawn of their blood, Changkyun went ahead and brought the other two back to their dormitory to rest. You were already laying there on the medical bed unconscious which means you couldn’t feel the way Gahyeon gently gave your blood coated hands a small squeeze.

“Please be okay, Y/N.” She whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. Yunho comforted the girl before they both left with Changkyun.

A few minutes later, the nurse managed to collect as much blood as you probably needed after losing them quite a bit. She placed a bandaid over the spots where she injected the tube in their arms. After she was done, she dismissed the two boys but Jungkook asked if he could stay.

She nodded, setting up the equipment so that the blood she collected from the two gentlemen could be transferred into your body through the IV in your hand.

Hyunjae left after caressing the top of your head, wishing you a speedy recovery.

The nurse went ahead and disinfected your wounds before suturing the open cuts and wrapping them with bandages. Once she was done, she excused herself, leaving you alone with Jungkook as the male went over to scoot his chair closer to your side. Jungkook carefully reaches for your hand that didn’t have the needle attached. He brings it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry this happened to you Y/N. You truly don’t deserve this…” Jungkook whispered as he stood up to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead.

He felt sorry. He felt sick. He felt confused. But more importantly, he felt furious at whoever did this to you. Of course he didn’t know who but you knew.

You woke up to a sharp pain in your throat, feeling it get itchy like an unusual sore throat. The prickling pain in your right calf made your leg jolt as you shot your tired eyes open. The morning sun filled the room. You carefully looked around to find you alone in the room which looks to be the hospital wing.

Memories from last night suddenly came flashing into your mind like a tsunami, and yet, you still couldn’t wrap your mind around it.

Did that really happen?

Was it all a dream?

You almost didn’t want to believe it until your hands reached up to your throat and you felt the soft material of the bandage taped onto your neck. Of course, your stubbornness was trying to make you think otherwise so you opened your mouth to speak.

Truth be told, nothing comes out of your mouth. Absolutely nothing. Not even a sound.

Your thoughts were swirling, a million things running across your head at that very moment. From the incident last night to the final evaluation test you were supposed to have today. The test was supposed to determine your final results of your initiation. It was supposed to determine whether you get to stay in Dauntless or you get kicked out and become Factionless.

Of course, there are two ways of getting that second option. First is by failing Stage 3, and second is of course by not attending the final test at all.

How wonderful.

As your mind was swirling with these complications, you completely missed the figure that was making their way to you. It wasn’t until they were a few feet from you that you looked up only to lock eyes with Jungkook.

Immediately, a whole swarm of emotions came rushing through you as you began to cry. Jungkook rushed over to you, only to hush you.

“Shh… Shh… Don’t cry. It’s okay. I’m here. You’re fine. I’m here.” Jungkook cooed as he held you in his arms, feeling the way your arms wrapped around his waist tightly like you were afraid he might disappear if you let go. His heart swelled upon feeling his shirt get soaked from your tears.

Your silent cries only made his heart drop even more. Jungkook caressed the back of your head lovingly, making sure to give you small reassuring kisses to the side of your head as a way to hopefully calm you down.

You both stayed like that for a bit before he sang you a sweet song in your ear.

Jungkook felt your body relax in his touch, happy that his singing made you calmer. After a while, he pulled away slowly to look you in the eye. How is it possible that you are just sitting there crying your eyes out and yet you still looked beautiful? Or maybe it’s just him.

Who knows.

Nevertheless, he wipes your tears with his thumbs and soon smiles down at you.

“You’re so strong. You’re a strong girl Y/N. And I really admire you for that.” He whispered. You couldn’t help but crack a tiny smile when you felt him boop your nose with his own. You had so much to say to him. So much you wanted to share with him. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side today. Just then, Jungkook’s smile faltered and it made you curious.

You reached for his wrist where his hand was just cupping your face softly, to catch his attention. You silently asked him what’s wrong through your worried eyes, hoping he could read your mind.

Thankfully, he did.

“The final stage… It starts in 5 minutes. I talked to the leaders about your current condition. I tried my best to change their mind, Changkyun did try too… Unfortunately, the leaders made an agreement to… disqualify you, which means… y-you…” Jungkook paused as he struggled to convey the message to you but you already knew what it meant.

You violently shook your head at him. You had to redeem yourself. You didn’t plan for this to happen. You were forced to be in this damn medical bed out of your own will. Oh if only they saw who did this to you, would they gladly throw him to the Factionless.

“Decision has been made. Since you can’t physically be there, you’re immediately disqualified.” Jungkook said as you shook your head again. There must be something about the way you were staring at him because at that very moment, it was as though you sent him a message through telepathy.

“Wait a minute… For the final test, you don’t need to talk. You… just need to be physically there for the simulation.” Jungkook said in realization as your eyes lit up.

“Does that mean… she’s immediately disqualified?” Gahyeon asked sadly, only for Hyunjae to nod.

“I mean, technically according to the rules, you are supposed to be here physically for the final test… So, I guess that’s true then…” Hyunjae said.

The rest of them who were gathered by the side of the hall where the final stage would take place, shared mostly the same emotions about you not being able to join them which would render you as Factionless by default even after all your hard work.

However, it looks like someone couldn’t care less about you not making it.

“Who cares? She doesn't belong in Dauntless anyway.” Yeonjun rolls his eyes as he walks to the front, leaning against one of the pillars. Your friends exchanged a few glances to one another, not feeling good about the way he said that. A few minutes passed, and they had just finished the test with the third person on the list. All the initiates were anxious as they waited for their turn. Soon enough, the Dauntless leader calls out the next name to be on stage.

“Y/F/N.”

With that, the room fell silent as the initiates looked at each other with deep frowns on their faces. A few beats of silences went by, not a single sign of you anywhere. Meanwhile, Yeonjun had that devilish smirk on his face as he felt satisfied with your lack of presence.

Unfortunately, just as the leader was about to call out the next person on the list, Jungkook’s voice echoed around the hall from the opposite end of where the initiates were gathered. That’s when Jungkook emerged through the double doors with you beside him.

He had one arm wrapped around your waist as you limped your way to the platform where the chair was waiting for you. Your friends cheered for your arrival as they shouted a string of goodlucks to you. Yeonjun growled, totally not expecting to find you still alive.

Maybe he didn’t cut you deep enough.

You immediately recognized the lady who was prepping the tools to put you into simulation, to be the same lady you met on your Initiation test.

After you sat down, Jungkook gave your waist a little squeeze before he smiled down at you and whispered, “Goodluck.”

He soon left your side as the lady asked you if you were ready. You gave her a small nod, letting her inject the needle into your neck right below your ear.

Once the serum had been injected into your system, it took effect right away, bringing you to your first simulation. It was the same simulations you went through during your Stage 2. They were all of your fears connecting one simulation to the other. You managed to remember what Jungkook taught you during the past few weeks and how to properly handle each situation like a fellow Dauntless.

The minute your last simulation ended, you woke up calmly only for the lady to smile.

“You did well.” She complimented you as she helped you sit up. Jungkook came to your side and very gently led you off the platform.

“Good job. Looks like my tips worked huh?” Jungkook asked, to which you smiled, feeling shy all of a sudden. He guided you to the side only for your friends to rush over to you.

“Sweetie! You’re okay! How are you?” Gahyeon asked as she hugged you, making you return her hug. You showed an ‘okay’ sign with your hand before Yunho ruffled your hair. “Of course you are, you’re a beast Y/N.” His comment made some of them laugh, including you. Just then, your eyes drifted to your left only to meet Yeonjun’s fiery eyes.

All you wanted to do was throw him in The Pit. The last thing you wanted was to see his competitive ass everyday from now on.

However, you weren’t going to kill him despite all the pain he’s caused you.

After letting you meet up with your friends, Jungkook brought you back to his penthouse to let you rest. He carefully laid you down on his bed, pulling his blanket up to your chest while you snuggled into his side with your head resting on his chest. Jungkook chuckled as he caressed your hair, tucking them behind your ear, making sure to let his fingers softly trace the side of your face as he did so.

“No matter what the results are, I’m never leaving your side. That, I can promise you.” Jungkook said softly as you tilted your head up to look at him. You wished you could speak. You wished you could verbally say this to him outloud. Unfortunately you couldn’t.

In the end, you opted for the saying ‘Actions speak louder than words’ and so, with that being said, you lifted your head up and used your left elbow to prop your body up on the mattress.

Jungkook watched you carefully as you slowly leaned in only to press your lips softly on his. Almost instantly, he wrapped one arm around your waist while the other allowed his fingers to tangle into your soft locks. You reached a hand up to cup his cheek, letting your thumb trace the scar he had on his left cheekbone. You felt him smile against your lips as he pulled away for a breath.

His eyes fluttered open to find your cute ones staring back at him. Jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle as he gently massaged your scalp in a calming manner.

“If that is your way of telling me what I think it is, then I’ll be the one to confirm verbally that I feel the same way too…” Jungkook’s voice was smooth and sultry in your ears, it almost made you melt into a puddle. Almost.

So with one more kiss from him, your heart raced in your chest as he pulled away to let his lips hover over yours before he said the words you’ve been meaning to tell him.

“I love you Y/N.”

Prologue

6 months had passed, you ended up staying in Dauntless together with Gahyeon, Hyunjae and Yunho. Right after the final stage, you gave Jungkook the weapon Yeonjun used to attack you the night before the final stage. After investigating the weapon and finding evidence that confirms Yeonjun was indeed the attacker, he was immediately thrown out of Dauntless. Rendering him Factionless.

Yes, that jerk deserved it.

Yunho was given the role of a guard due to his unfortunate ranking but hey, at least he wasn’t Factionless.

Gahyeon was a trainer for Dauntless-born initiates while you and Hyunjae were trainers for faction transfers. Although, you only started becoming one after the 3rd month when you were starting to be able to talk again.

And how was your relationship with Jungkook, might I ask?

Well, just splendid.

Your relationship with him only grew stronger each day as he took care of you during the first few months when you still had difficulties to talk. He was always there for you when you needed someone to back you up in heated arguments.

Jungkook took you to visit your parents the day after the final stage. No doubt your parents got upset over what happened to their daughter, they were more than thankful that you were still alive and that Jungkook was there to keep you sane. As the months go by, Jungkook’s feelings for you bloomed.

Today was another day of training for you and your initiates where you managed to guide the new initiates along with Hyunjae’s help.

You were just standing off to the side, letting Hyunjae take over for the knife throwing session when you suddenly felt a pair of strong arms wrapping itself around your waist. You giggled as you turned your head to find Jungkook’s face just mere inches away from yours.

“Not here, love… We’re in the middle of training.” You whispered, earning a soft chuckle from him before he peppered your cheek with kisses.

“Can’t I just give my beautiful girlfriend some loving kisses before I go to my meeting?” Jungkook teased, making you giggle.

“Aren’t you being needy?” You laughed.

“Only when I miss you…”

“We literally saw each other an hour ago, Kook.”

“I know.” Jungkook grinned cutely at you only for you to push his face away gently while you laughed.

“Hmm, needy indeed.”

“Hey…” He pouted at you. Of course your heart couldn’t bear to see his sad pout so you turned to face him completely. Reaching up with both hands to hold his face, you pressed your lips on his before pulling away to see his silly smile on his face.

“I love you.” You whispered as you felt him hug you.

“I love you more.”

That was the last thing you heard as Changkyun’s voice beckons your boyfriend over from a few feet behind Jungkook. “Come on lovebird, we gotta go… See you later Y/N.” Changkyun chuckled as he wiggled his index finger towards Jungkook. Your boyfriend gives you one last kiss before he jogs over to his older friend.

Maybe joining Dauntless wasn’t as bad as you thought after all.

~~~

a/n: Thank you for reading this series! Do check out my other fics if you're interested to read more of my writings! ❤️

Main Masterlist

Taglist: @moonchild1 @danyxthirstae01 @helenazbmrskai @jenna-posts @pimentelssmile

#bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts jk #bts jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #bts fluff #bts jk fluff #bts jungkook angst #bts jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #dystopia series #bts x reader #bts divergent au

99 notes · View notes

krisdreaming · 5 years ago

Text

A/N: Today is a special day because it’s Em’s birthday, @imaginethathaikyuu!!! Em is such an amazing writer and a warm & caring person, and I’m so glad that I’ve had the chance to get to know her. This is my humble birthday offering, I hope you enjoy!

This is a college AU!

Here’s the 4+1 masterlist

Four times Keiji thinks he loves you, and the one time he finally says it out loud

When Keiji gets to your dorm, you immediately pull him inside, closing the door quickly behind him. “I’m sorry,” You’re already apologizing, “I didn’t know who else to call.” You lead him to your bed, and there, in a shoe box laying on top of a folded towel, is a tiny kitten. It’s laying eerily still, and he can hear a slight wheezing sound every time it’s small chest rises and falls.

“I found him on my way back from class, he was laying all curled up by the sidewalk. I couldn’t just leave him there. He needs help.” You reach into the box and ever so gently caress the top of the kitten’s head with your fingertip.

He’s silent for a few moments, looking into the box and turning the situation over in his head. “I’m pretty sure there’s an emergency vet in town,” He says finally, “I can drive us there.”

You look at him, and there’s a relieved smile breaking across your face. “Really?” You breathe, “Keiji, thank you! You don’t have to do this,” You add quickly, looking back to the frail kitten. If he’s not mistaken, there’s a sheen of tears in your eyes.

“I want to,” He says firmly. You’re bustling around your dorm to grab a jacket and an extra blanket to swaddle the kitten, wondering aloud if your parents will let you keep the kitten at home if he recovers, but he’s completely still, just watching you.

It’s not the first time he’s caught a glimpse of your big heart. He knows how much you care, it’s part of what drew him to you in the first place. It’s just that now, especially, something is swelling up inside his chest, and it feels an awful lot like I love you. It’s the first time he’s felt it so clearly, and he can’t help the small smile that finds its way onto his face.

ii.

Keiji rests his head on his arms and closes his eyes, just for the few minutes until class starts. He’s lucky if he got three hours of sleep last night, and he hopes he’d studied enough. This midterm is a huge part of his grade, and despite the hours he’d spent in the past week preparing for it, he still doesn’t feel too confident.

He feels a gentle touch on his arm. “Keiji,” at the sound of your voice he looks up, surprised to see you standing by his desk. You aren’t supposed to be here - you have your own class starting in about five minutes. “I thought you might need this,” You laugh softly, and he finally notices the cup in your hand when you set it down on the corner of his desk. It looks like the largest cup of coffee the campus has to offer. He’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

“Thank you,” He wraps his fingers around it, pulling it closer to himself, but he doesn’t take a sip yet. He’s still looking at you. “This is perfect,” He smiles.

“Good,” You smile back, even bigger. “Good luck today, Keiji. You’ll do great.” You lean in and press the quickest peck to his cheek. The feeling of your lips lingers even after you pull away.

“Thank you,” He says again, because he isn’t quite sure what else to say. “You should get to class too, right? I’ll see you after.”

“Yup! You’ve got this!” You grin before you lift your hand in a quick wave and duck out of the classroom. He watches the door even after you disappear from view, his hand resting absently on his cheek at the spot where you’d placed your kiss.

he muses that it’s probably a good thing you hadn’t stuck around any longer. Something like the words I love you might have slipped out past his sleep-deprived brain.

iii.

Keiji glances from his spot on the court to the place he knows you’ll be in the stands. When you see him looking your way, you immediately lift both both hands above your head in an exaggerated wave. He waves back at you, quickly, before the next volley starts.

Even though he’s only on the intramural team and the stands are rarely packed, you still show up at every single one of his matches. Even though this is nothing like the Black Jackals match he took you to once, no roaring crowd or big, bright stadium lights or fancy official uniforms with sponsor patches, you’re always telling him how exciting it is to watch him play. You mean it, too. He can tell.

“You don’t have to come every time, you know,” He says, afterwards, as he walks you back to your dorm. “It’s nothing special, so I don’t expect you to always be there.”

“I want to be there, silly.” You shove your shoulder against his, and he uses it as an excuse to reach for your hand, sliding his fingers between yours. “You love volleyball, and I love watching you play. If it’s important to you, then it’s important to me.” You’re important to me. I love you. He thinks it, but somehow he can’t make himself say it out loud. Instead, he gives your hand a squeeze and tugs you a little closer.

“Thanks,” He says, stopping just for a moment to press a quick kiss to your lips.

You giggle softly. “What was that for?”

He shakes his head, a small smile playing across his lips. “Nothing in particular.”

iv.

Keiji is trying very hard not to move. The train is jostling enough as it is, and you had fallen asleep on his shoulder almost as soon as the train had started moving. He can’t blame you. It had been a long day, and you’d done a lot of walking.

He can just make out your face in the reflection on the train window. It looks so soft and peaceful. Your lips are slightly parted, and you let out the softest sigh. Something washes over him, then - an overwhelming desire to protect you, to keep you safe, to stay by your side for as long as you’ll have him. He’s not sure where it came from.

While he’s still lost in thought, your stop comes up. Gently, he nudges you awake, and you blink at him blearily, confusion on your face for a few moments before you remember where you are.

“Oh, sorry,” You murmur, “Didn’t mean to fall asleep. You could’ve woken me.” You rub some sleep from your eyes, and he gives your cheek the softest pinch. You scrunch your nose at that, standing to exit the train.

“Nah, you looked so peaceful. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” He rests his hand at the small of your back for a fraction of a second as you step off the train, and when you’re on the platform, you turn to him and grin.

“Oh?” You ask cheekily, a teasing glint in your eyes.

He nods, then quickly changes the subject. “Okay, let’s go. We need to get you to bed.”

This day is definitely not turning out the way Keiji had envisioned it. When he woke up to the patter of rain hitting the windowpanes, his heart sank. He’s been planning this romantic little picnic for a few weeks now, as a way of celebrating your six month anniversary and, as a bonus, the perfect time to finally, finally tell you what he’s been feeling for so long. And now it’s raining. Even if it stops raining, the cute little park near campus is going to be soaked.

“We can do it some other time,” You say over the phone, and he sighs. Who knows when ‘some other time’ could end up being? The end of the semester is getting closer, and he’d been lucky this weekend had worked out for both of your schedules. He lets the gears turn in his head for a few moments before responding.

“No. Come to my dorm. We can still hang out.” He looks around the room, already figuring out what he’ll do to make the place look even a little bit nicer. All he’ll have to do is make sure his roommate keeps himself scarce, and it could work.

“Okay,” You say, and he can hear the smile in your voice, “I’ll be over around noon?”

“Perfect,” He agrees. It gives him just a little more than two hours to make some preparations.

When you get to his dorm, he watches the way your expression changes when you walk into the room. You look from the blanket and pillows spread out on the ground, to the candles he’d lit (and paid his roommate 2,000 yen not to tell anyone about), and to the big bouquet of flowers. Your lips form a small, surprised O, and he pats the spot on the blanket next to him, inviting you to join him.

“Keiji,” You breathe as you sink down, still taking everything in, “This is beautiful. Honestly.”

“For a dorm room,” He chuckles, handing you a bottle of your favorite drink. “Would’ve been better in the park, but...” He shrugs and gestures to the window, where you can see the rain outside still falling.

“This is so cozy, though!” You murmur happily, scooting in a little closer so you’re just leaning against him. He shifts so that the arm bracing him up is also resting against your back. “All this, just for six months.” You laugh softly.

“Of course,” He says, his nose just brushing your cheek when he turns to see your face better, “These last six months have been wonderful. Truly. I’m really glad that I could spend them with you.”

“Keiji,” Your voice is almost a squeak, “So am I. It’s been perfect.”

“Yeah,” He agrees, turning so you’re practically face to face and reaching for your hand, holding it loosely and brushing his thumb across the back of it. Your smile drops off and you study his face, then, almost as though you’re waiting for something. He’s been waiting too.

“Y/N,” His voice drops lower and softer, “You’re incredible. I’m amazed by you, every day. Sometimes I don’t know why you’d want to be with me,” He chuckles softly at the frown that puckers your brow at that, “But I’m glad you do. And... I love you, Y/N. So much. And I will keep on loving you for as long as you’ll let me.” For a few moments, the only sound is the rain falling outside as his words sink in. Then, all at once, you close the distance between you and throw your arms around his neck.

“Keiji,” Your words are muffled against the skin of his neck, “I love you too. Oh my god, I love you so much.” You pull back, then, and with the way you’re looking at him, like he’s the only person in the world, he can’t help himself. He cups your face in his hands and kisses you like he means it, because he does. More than anything.

4+1 taglist (let me know if you want to be added!):

@luna-barnes14, @herow1n, @disgruntled-gay

#happy birthday Em!!!#i hope ur day's wonderful!#Haikyuu #Haikyuu imagines #Akaashi Keiji #Akaashi Keiji x reader #Akaashi x reader #Haikyuu x reader #queued

261 notes · View notes

tokyoghoose · 5 years ago

Text

Tsukishima and Kyotani with a self-conscious chubby s/o

bear with me please this is purely self indulgent and written with an empty, no thought but negative thought head lmao

Tw: mentions body dysmorphia and has brief suggestive content :)

Tsukishima

so first off I'd like to begin by saying, i feel like he'd be one of the characters who have been in your shoes before when it comes to feeling bad about his body...

And i say that because from personal experience, a lot of tall, skinny guys i know often feel a little dejected and self-conscious of their body and from what ive been told they feel weak, too skinny, bont, etc. Right. So although it may not be the exact same thing you are feeling, i think he'd understand and relate to it on another, physical level. He would try not to make a big deal about it, often not one to speak about his own problems unless he brings it up himself so he's not going to try and force you to tell him anything but his keen observation skills tell him all he needs to know. From the way you frown looking in the mirror after getting ready for a daye night, the way your hand lingers over your hips and stomach to the way you pick at your food or simply forgo eating a full meal in general. He doesn't want to make a scene, he knows you'll tell him about it when you're ready so he does more subtle actions instead. He'll buy your favorite snack from the vending machine and shove it in your hand with a passive aggressive mumble that he accidentally put a 2 instead of a 3 like he meant to or he'll pass over the rest of his lunch because 'i can't eat it all and i cant take it to practice of hinata will froth at the mouth.' Or if you aren't eating anything he'll 'offer' (more like tell you you're going on a date last minute) to your favorite cafe to order strawberry shortcake and split it (probably one of the most romantic things he'll do, so please 🥺 hes really trying here).

And if you happen to get upset ans have a breakdown over the fact you're bloated or you have more rolls than last week or that your thighs touch and you cant fit into your favorite jeans, he won't hesitate to actually show you how beautiful he thinks you are. Like my boy will not HESITATE. He's the type to like swing an arm around you and pull you into a side hug before shifting to pull you into his chest, sighing lightly through hia nose and rubbing soothing circles into your back for a moment. You two would probably just stand there until you calm down a bit before he starts talking to you in a low voice. It doesnt really sound sweet or anything, it's just kind of comforting in it's own way. He's not much of a praiser, in fact he says it in a very matter-of-fact way like he's stating the obvious about your body and how stunning you are. If you're feeling like he could leave for someone better he's quick to shut that down, flicking you lightly with a tsk as a way to shut you up before stating that if he could've done better he would've but you're the best. Top tier 🥺 he makes more of a conscious effort after that to let you know, probably hugging you from behind with his arms wrapped around you and kissing your thighs when he's laying his head in your lap and kisses to your shoulders. It's not much, but his efforts go a long way 🥺

kyotani

baby boy 🥺 he may not be self conscious about his body (i dont imagine he would be, more so his personality probably) but he'd be so supportive in the most passive aggressive way lol

Honestly, he'll probably be a little uoset at first, almost angry because why would you think bad things about yourself? Like its not that he's never been there or anything, but he just doesn't understand it on your level because he genuinely thinks you're like everything right in the universe. When this boy sees you, his eyes really do light uo even if his smile doesn't. So that being said he'll probably tell you off a bit begrudgingly and you might mistake it for him brushing it off but that's not his intentions, in fact everytime you mention something about your body he stores it in his memory. When he starts to notice a pattern he's one of the few hq guys i can see outright calling it out without a second thought. Straight up just being like 'why aren't you eating?' Or 'You keep changing clothes, they all fit the same. What's up with you?' He may not be as observant as Tsukishima but he's not stupid, he catches on eventually. He's not the typw to sugar coat it either, by the way. He'll be like 'yeah you don't have a thigh-gap, so what?' And 'everyone has rolls in their stomach, I like them so who cares?' Like he's not going to lie to you or anything, he doesn't do the whole noo you're not chubby thing. He tells you straight up and then he tells you how much he loves it and you anyways.

And if you were to breakdown in front of him or he were to walk into your room when you're getting ready and sees clothes strewn everywhere, it clicks instantly for him. He'll probably catch a shirt you throw to the side or pick up one hanging haphazardly off your bed— probably one he knows is new because you're probably excited to wear it out, which means it's probably your first choice if he had to guess. He tosses it to you before settling himself beside you on the bed or floor or counter. He doesn't make a move to hug you and he gives you a minute to tell him what's up before he finallt caves and just says it himself. He'll let you cry it out before placing a hand on your thigh and making a move to actually hold you. You know the whole thing where someone like kisses different places and says something, well he does that and it's actually really endearing even if he thinks it's absolutely cheesy later on when he thinks about it. But he'll kiss your cheeks, then your neck, your chest and stomach ans you know how it goes, caressing your thighs before finally kissing your lips probably changing it up from 'this is beautiful, and this is...' to like 'and you're all mine' or something before picking you up 🤪 you guys know what's next from there but it's complete body worship. LIKE literally the king of body worship now, i don't make the rules i judt reinforce them

#haikyuu headcanons #kyotani x reader #tsukishima x reader #just in case someone else needed these today #they aren't my best work #but 🥺 it made me feel better #mickie writes

198 notes · View notes

generallybarzy · 4 years ago

Text

smile like sunshine v

Wednesday: ~8.2k

previous chapters: i // ii // iii // iv

an: Here it is!!! Sorry it took so long, I had stuff going on and started a new job and everything, but I think the final product is worth the wait. From here on out there’s gonna be a warning for nsfw stuff and lowkey smut (no spoilers though). Buckle up kiddos. @thirteenisles thanks for proofreading this!!!!!

summary: It’s your 21st birthday, and you want to spend some alone time with Mat! As the days of your trip keep rolling by, it becomes harder and harder to suppress the fantasies, the feelings you had towards him: desire, longing, lust, love. It’s getting harder and harder to fight your feelings, and even the alcohol doesn’t do much to help you ignore Mat. In fact, the alcohol might have made it worse...

It’s 2019, exactly eleven years after your tenth birthday, and Mat is determined to make this year even better than before.

The first thing you felt was his lips on yours.

You’d remember the softness, the care, for years to come, maybe even- dare you say- for the rest of your life. They were so gentle, so caring, moving against yours, pushing and pulling like the tides, while his fingers grazed across your jaw and his big hands cupping your face to pull you deeper into his mouth; to mold your face- your body- against his.

When you pulled back to take a breath, you caught a glimpse of his eyes, kind and searching, filled with questions he’d never ask. You wanted to ask what was wrong, you wanted to get him to spill his words, spill his heart in front of you, but your throat closed up and no words came. Instead, you were back on his mouth with more desperate longing than before- filling the hole of unspoken words with passion and need. His mouth was inviting, caressing, and warm, his lips hopeful and confident against yours. But when the kiss was broken and you leaned back to look at the face cradled between your palms, something struck you.

There was nothing familiar about this face. In fact, there were no distinguishing features at all. What color were his eyes? What did his hair look like? Who was this? You couldn’t say. All you could tell was what it felt like to have his mouth on yours.

The breeze ruffled your hair, the waves crashed on the beach, and finally, you could hear his voice:

“Baby.” There it was, the familiarity, the warmth of his words, and the soothingness of his voice oozing over you, making your heart sickly sweet and saccharine. “Baby.” He repeated it over and over again, and you could listen to him say it over and over again, marveling at how right it sounded coming from his lips. The effect he had on you with just his voice- his mere presence even- would never cease to amaze you.

And there he was.

“Mat.” You reached for him, only hoping your voice had the same effect on him that he had on you.

He reached for you, and his touch ignited fires along your skin, both hot and cold where his fingertips grazed along your arm.

You touched his chest, slid your hand across tight pectorals and down, down to the taut muscles of his abdomen. If you’ve ever seen anyone built like a Greek God, it was him. Golden and built, he was never one to brag, though he certainly had plenty to brag about. His smile- gleaming white, perfect and teasing, always able to make your heart flutter- had your knees giving out beneath you, but he caught you with his strong, waiting arms. His words, smooth and sweet like honey, coated your body and had your clothes all but sliding off of your body on their own. His big hands had you squirming and begging silently with pleading eyes, as he kneaded and caressed your skin with touches at the same time overwhelmingly gentle and rough. And he happily obliged to your begging. The ‘V’ at his hips made your body flutter in need, made you giddy and excited. You knew what lay beyond, that ‘V’, and you knew how good it would feel when you finally connected. When you finally found each other and nodded your consent to have him sink against you, foreheads touching and breath mingling. When you finally became one being together.

You were weightless, floating in the air together as he held you against him, your bodies molding together perfectly, pushing and pulling with you, rocking breathlessly with each other. There was no desperation, no rush- you had each other and you had time, all the time in the world- and he was hot and heavy and slow inside of you. And with your bodies molded into each other tightly, you were able to push and pull steadily, all the way to the end, when sweat beaded on your foreheads, your breath came out in short pants against each other’s mouths, your hands tangled together and through each other’s hair, and your hearts glowed, complete and absolutely ready to let go together.

“(Y/N).”

“Mat.”

“(Y/N)?” He kept saying it, over and over, until his lips froze in place and his questioning face began to fade from your view, his hands dissolving from your body, leaving you empty and alone and on the edge, with his voice rumbling through your ear. “(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N).”

You opened your eyes.

“(Y/N). Hey, wake up, birthday girl!”

You groaned, rolling over and pulling the pillow over your face, trying your hardest to ignore the dull throbbing in your core. Right there? He had to wake you up right there? Fuck, it felt so real. You could practically feel his hands, feel his body beneath your fingers, feel his- “C’mon, we’ve got stuff to do today, sleepyhead!”

You couldn’t even look at him after that dream. That dream of your best friend kissing you, touching you, loving you. He had looked so real, he had felt so real. How could you just go about your day as if you hadn’t dreamt of that? As if you hadn’t felt that? God, he had no idea, did he? You pulled the pillow away, and there he was.

Just as beautiful as always.

He was sitting cross-legged at the foot of your bed, toying with the edge of your sheets. His skin had tanned gorgeously in the past days and looked so golden and warm to the touch, his hair falling dark and wavy onto his forehead until he reached up and pushed it back. The way his fingers slid so smoothly through the black locks just proved they were as soft as you’d always suspected, and it was an internal battle to not reach up and let your hands glide through them yourself. His hazel eyes locked with yours with a mischievous gleam, and you were so caught up in the golden brown-green mix that you didn’t even catch the little smirk on his moving lips.

“Hey, sleepyhead, focus.”

“‘S’too early…”

“It’s nine o’clock.” He laughed and dodged the pillow you’d thrown. “Hey, you’re finally twenty-one! We can drink together tonight!”

“Stupid U.S. drinking age…”

He laughed again. Ever since the first time you reconnected with him in that bar last year, he’d always teased you about still being a year too young to drink with him. “C’mon, I’m taking you out today.”

“To drink?”

“Not yet, that happens later. First, I’ve got stuff planned for the next few hours. We’re going to the boardwalk, for old time’s sake.” Out of seemingly nowhere, he grabbed the cute outfit he’d bought for you your first day here and tossed it towards you. “Get dressed, let’s go recreate some memories!” It took everything in you not to stare when he stood up to leave and you realized he was only wearing boxer briefs with his tee-shirt.

Fuck, you were gonna have to drink a lot tonight to forget about that dream…

You had celebrated your birthday with Mat once before, when you were turning ten years old. Even back then, you realized, Mat had always made it his job to hype you up and make sure you had the best day possible.

You woke up on the morning of your tenth birthday to knocking at the back door of your family’s beach house, and when your parents called you to the door he greeted you with a big, bright smile. His smile. A smile like sunshine. “Happy birthday! You hit double digits! We’re doing whatever you want all day!”

That wasn’t entirely true, you knew even as a child. You would’ve been content hanging out with him on the beach and not doing anything birthday related, but what he wanted for you was so much more than what you wanted for yourself.

After hanging out for only a week so far, this boy already wanted the best for you.

“Please, please!” Mat tugged at his mom’s sleeve, whining and begging until he got her attention. He was stubborn but cute, and it wasn’t hard for him to get his way. His mom was talking with yours and watching Mat’s younger sister, and your mom was holding one of your younger siblings in her arms. Both his parents and yours seemed to have their attention on the younger children rather than the two of you, but that was fine because you had each other. “We wanna go to the boardwalk! It’s (Y/N)’s birthday, we wanna do something!”

The parents exchanged glances- finally looking down to you and Mat- and it didn’t take long for them to cave. The boardwalk- with all its carnival games and snacks and beautiful view of the ocean- would be fun for all the kids, they decided.

You and Mat shouted in excitement as you walked hand in hand together, gleeful and carefree, smiling as bright as the sun and pointing at rides you wanted to go on and games you wanted to play. You had the whole day to yourselves, it seemed, even though your parents were only feet behind you, watching the two of you skip next to the ocean, hand in hand and eating ice cream, squealing when it started to melt in the sun and racing each other to finish first before it dripped all over your hands.

They knew how much you cared for each other- it was cute- and if you two were any older it could’ve been a problem, but luckily that wasn’t the case.

If only you could be that carefree and innocent for the rest of your life.

Now, at 21 years old, it was obvious Mat still cared that much for you, and set higher standards for everyone around you than you set for them yourself. He was always the one to correct people if they were wrong about something you wanted or something you ordered, and was the first to tell you when he suspected someone had less than decent intentions at a bar. He always asked if you were having fun when you were all out with friends, and he always kept a watchful eye on you. He always wanted you to be alright. He always wanted everything to be perfect for you.

You were sure he was just taking his place of being the big brother you never had, but part of your hopeless romantic mind- that you constantly shook away- hoped it meant more.

"Oh, woah, I haven't been here in a long time." You watched Mat's cute face as he glanced around, squinting his pretty hazel eyes in the sunshine from beneath his hat. The boardwalk that had been the sight of yours and Mat’s childhood summer all those years ago was a long, wooden walkway, running parallel to the beach and bordered on the other side with food vendors and touristy gift shops, and once you walked far enough, one end was filled with carnival-like games and rides that had been plenty of fun when you were children. "It hasn't changed much since we were kids, has it?"

"No, not really."

“It’s like we stepped back in time.” You watched him reach two fingers up to tuck a loose strand of dark hair into his hat, mesmerized with how gentle his touches were. He had a small, gentle smile on his face, seeming completely at peace and calm. Spending the past few days in the humidity and salty air had his hair all fluffy and just begging you to touch them and he was currently sporting some really cute, short, beachy waves that suited him so well. His skin had tanned gorgeously and you really weren’t sure how you were going to last three more days with him.

Only three more days? You could’ve sworn you just got here. Fuck, time seemed to pass so quickly whenever you were here, whenever you were with Mat. Only need to ignore him for three more days, (Y/N). you thought to yourself. Only three more days, and then you can forget about this silly crush. No use in ruining a great friendship for the sake of some summer fling.

You shook away the thoughts and decided to focus on the moment, to make every second with him count before you were back to work and Mat was back to practice and games and his other friends. “So, what do you have planned for me?”

Mat had been watching you think, wondering what it was that had you scrunching your face up so cutely like that, before he heard the words leave your lips. “Actually, it’s right here. I was searching up things we could do together here and this sounded perfect…” The smile in his voice made you nervous- there was barely a moment with him where he played it safe, and he was never one to back away from challenges, so you could only guess what he had in store. But you didn’t have much time to guess before the roller skate rental booth came into sight.

“No way, Mat.”

“Yep.” He popped the ‘P’, pulling out his wallet. “Remember the first time we met up in that coffee shop, the day after you found me? When you dared me to teach you how to skate?”

You did.

You had been sitting by the window with your drink, giddy and excited over everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. A simple hockey game with your roommate had turned into a reunification with your friend from ten years ago, who had obviously made it big places in his life since then. Despite the joy and relief you felt after finally knowing who he was and knowing he still remembered you, you were nervous about the thought of reconnecting with Mat- what if he was a dick, or tried to hit on you, or was just… different? He certainly couldn’t be the same as he was ten years ago, after all the awards and trophies and high expectations, all the fans wearing his jersey and all the merch with his name on it. That type of attention gets to your head and changes people, doesn’t it? Then Mat sat down across from you, and, at his appearance, you set your phone down and looked up at him with an adorable awestruck smile Mat could still remember to this day. “Holy shit, Mat, I googled you last night.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t want to seem creepy, but I just figured out one of my childhood best friends turned into this huge NHL star, how could I resist it?”

“Star?” He smiled from where he sat across from you, running a hand through his hair. “Damn, you really shouldn’t have. Now you probably think I’m a pretentious dick. I’m not really that big and famous.”

The way he waved his hand and pushed away any thought that he was this big, grand all star and kept his humility made you smile. “Um, I‘m sure you are. You’re like, a big name in hockey right now, aren’t you? I watched some game highlights of you. I don’t understand a lot about hockey, but I’m pretty sure other people know what they're talking about- like my roommate who brought me to the game last night- and they seemed to be really impressed with you. Apparently you’re only expected to get better, too” He only shrugged, smiling. He knew he was good, sure, but to hear you compliment him like this was making him so unbelievably happy. You were proud of him, and that made a certain nostalgic part of his heart glow.

“Well, I told back then I was gonna make it, didn’t I? Guess I was right.“

“Yeah, you were.” You took a moment to let it sink in that you were here with Mat again, after all these years. And in that moment, it felt like you were ten again, sitting across from Mat and sharing secrets at the picnic table on the beach while your families chatted and made lunch. Time passed by much too quickly, you decided, and you wanted to make every second with him count. “I don’t know how much this means to you- since we barely know each other and all- but I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah? Good.”

“I don’t understand how you can just… well, first of all, skate so damn well and then also do all that fancy stuff with the puck at the same time. The only time I tried to skate, it was bad. Like, really ugly.”

“Oh yeah?” A laugh bubbled from his lips, one that would have your knees shaking had you not been sitting down. “Guess I’ll have to teach you sometime, how about that?” Mat had a flirtatious tone in his voice that made your cheeks warm, very obviously asking you out again, but back then you had either ignored or been oblivious to it, thinking it was only a friendly suggestion.

“I dare you.”

“Ooh, okay, bet. Challenge accepted.”

“Yeah? Good luck, I’m pretty unteachable when it comes to that.”

“I promise, once I’m done with you, you’ll be a star.” He laughed, a playful gleam in his eyes as he added a final sentence. “Just like me.”

“Shit, I did dare you to give me skating lessons, didn’t I?”

“Well, since I can’t exactly teach you to ice skate out here, might as well try this, right? Rollerblades are the closest thing.” He turned to the man behind the counter and handed him the money for the rentals before coming back and handing you your pair.

“So of all the things we could do on my birthday, you decided to put me through misery?”

He laughed at your joking dramatics. “Yeah, absolutely. Tough love, right?”

If someone had told you a year ago that you’d be learning to skate with an NHL star, you would have laughed in their face. You? Skating? That just wasn’t something that happened. But you weren’t gonna lie, ever since the moment Mat promised to teach you, you’d been fantasizing about this moment. Mat’s big hands on your waist, your hips, in your hands, pushing and pulling you along and steadying you so you wouldn’t fall. You, tripping and falling into his chest and laughing with him as he held you up. Making soft eye contact as you leaned up and smiled into a kiss against his lips-

“(Y/N).” You snapped out of your thoughts to look at Mat. Obviously, his legs were accustomed to skating after years and years of playing hockey, and he was already rollerblading in circles in front of you, absolutely amazing at it and completely in his comfort zone. Shit, his legs were so strong and thick and hot… “You can’t exactly learn to skate while sitting there, ya know.”

You caught the glint of amusement in Mat’s hazel eyes and rose to your feet, wobbly and off-balance and already almost falling. “Well then help me out a bit. Not everyone’s a star like you.”

“Not yet.”

His hands fell heavily onto your hips, so big and strong that it seemed as if he could break you with only a touch, and he steadied you against him- body to hard body- until you stopped shaking and were balanced evenly on the ground. Then, his hands slid off of you and he backed away, taking your hands in his. You felt so small, so delicate and fragile compared to him, and the way his hands could easily encase yours made you feel so safe, and you once again found yourself trusting him to do absolutely anything.

“Okay, come on. Just like you’re walking, but…” His words glided over you like honey, thick and smooth in the warm air, and you could barely focus on what he was saying, too caught up in the way it felt to hold his hand and the way he looked down at you and had you weak in the knees. Your mind floated back to your dream last night, still vivid and so, so realistic in your head. The way he touched you, caressed you, the way his thick fingers dug into your hips to tug you closer to him, the way he held your hand and locked eyes with you… “You’re doing good so far.”

“Yeah, until you let go of me.”

“Well, then I guess I just won’t.”

And he didn’t.

The two of you skated and laughed in the sunshine for what felt like forever, and you decided quickly that if you ever needed to go to a happy place in your mind, it would be right here, right now, rollerblading face to face with Mat, his hands holding you steady, his eyes on you as he skated backwards. “You’re doing great, damn, you’re not that hard to teach, actually.” He kept complimenting you, only adding to the red in your cheeks. How dare he go around looking so cute and complimenting you so nicely? He certainly wasn’t helping your growing feelings. Can’t he have just one flaw? Just one deal breaker so this stupid crush could be over with?

Without warning, Mat let go of your hands, leaving you to panic and stumble. “Mat, what the hell!” You grabbed for his arm frantically as you started to lose your balance.

“Just wanted to see how you’d fare on your own. C’mon, I know you can do it without my help.” He left his spot in front of you and came to your side, smiling down at you and delicately peeling your arms off of him.

“No, no at least hold my hand, Mat.”

“Alright. But I'm not pulling you anymore. You’re better than you think.” He wrapped one hand around yours, your forearms resting against each other in a gentle embrace and his face warmed up at the simple contact. Fuck, he would gladly hold your hand forever if he could. If that’s what you wanted. Maybe all this had all just subconsciously been an elaborate plan to allow him to hold your hand. “There you go. See, you’re great!”

“Define great.”

He laughed, and the two of you continued your little trip down the boardwalk. It wasn’t long before you hit the carnival area, where there were rides and games and food stands and prizes to win, and you were quickly reminded how childish Mat could be, as you watched his eyes dart around in glee, pointing out all the different things you could do. “Oooh, you want me to win you a big ass teddy bear?”

“No, Mat.”

“What about a fish?”

“No, Mat, I’m fine! Having you here is enough of a present.”

Mat’s heart almost burst at your little compliment, and he smiled for a moment, his face turning pink. His hand squeezed around yours in acknowledgment, a tiny thank you, an ‘I feel the same way’. ”Why don’t you make it over to that bench without my help and then we’ll rest for a little, alright?” Mat had to physically restrain himself from adding “baby” to the end of his sentence. No, he couldn’t call you that. Not out loud. Not yet.

“Alright, I’ll try.”

Yeah, you were actually pretty good at rollerblading now. Well, not pretty good, but you were good enough to do it by yourself. You just really, really wanted to hold Mat’s hand. “Whew! You’re actually not as bad a student as you told me.” Mat laughed and pulled you into a celebratory hug with a little cheer when you made it to the bench.

“Well, you’re a pretty good teacher, Maty.”

“How about we finish this lesson later? Let’s get you some ice cream as a reward for going through that for my amusement? For old time’s sake?”

“Yeah, I absolutely deserve ice cream. You think you still remember my favorite flavor?.” Mat’s face lit up at the suggestion of a challenge- though you’d been half joking. He was never one to shy away from dares.

“Ooh, okay, bet. Stay here. I’ll get them for us.” Before you could even open your mouth and insist you pay for your share, he was holding up a hand to shut you up. “Yes, I’m paying for you. It’s your birthday, let me treat you.”

“Alright, fine, fine.” You held up your hands in mock surrender. “And don’t worry. I’ll eat whatever flavor you get me, even if it’s wrong.”

“It won’t be wrong. Trust me.”

And oh, you trusted him.

So you sat and stared after him, caught in a trance as he rolled so gracefully to where the line was and watching from a distance at the way his lips moved when he talked- wondering how they would feel against your own, if it would feel the same as it did in your dream- the way they curled up at the ends in a polite little smile when he was handed the two cones. When he finally came back over to you, asking “Did I get it right, (Y/N)?” and watching your reaction, something else caught your eyes: the familiar pink hue of his ice cream.

“Oh my god, Mat!” His face twisted momentarily into a worried expression, but lightened up into a smile when he heard the laughter bubbling onto your lips. “I can’t believe you still get bubblegum ice cream!”

He let out his own laugh, sitting down next to you and handing you your cone. "Hey! Don't diss it 'till you try it!"

"No, I did try it! I tried it because of you, remember?” A vivid memory popped into Mat’s head of the two of you, sitting very close to this exact spot and licking the ice cream off of your hands as it melted in the sun. You had begged him to try it, intrigued by the colorful look and the fact that you’d never heard of this flavor before, and he happily swapped cones with you until your parents realized and scolded the two of you about germs. “I’m just pretty sure you're the only grown man I know who would admit to liking that flavor.”

“Yeah? Well, they just don’t know how fucking delicious it is.”

You smiled at the ground, at how unbelievable it was that you still remembered all these small, seemingly insignificant details about him after so many years. From the first picture you saw of him when you recognized the gleam of his hazel eyes, the way his lips moved when he smiled, to this very moment that had you looking back at the first days of your friendship, you realized you still remembered things about him that you couldn’t even remember about your closest friends. His favorite flavor of ice cream, every little nervous tick, the way he constantly fidgeted his hands and scratched his face, every little quirk of his. “It’s actually been a while since I had that, you know.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe I have to remind you what it tastes like.”

“Maybe you do.”

“Only if you let me try yours again.”

So Mat extended his arm for you and you extended yours, and the way you locked eyes with a mischievous smile before licking each other’s ice cream cones felt way, way too intimate for what was just a simple cute gesture that you’d done as kids.

Some things never change, but your feelings sure do.

The walk back home was fun- as everything was when Mat was there- fun and nostalgic. Your conversation focused mainly on the summer you met, how much fun you had, and how much you changed. You’d never been one to celebrate your birthday, not with a party anyway, but obviously, Mat wanted more for you than you wanted for yourself, so the second you stepped back into the house, smiling and laughing, mid-conversation with Mat, you were startled.

“Surprise!”

“Holy shit.”

The house had been decorated- it was simple, but still memorable- with generic birthday decorations and balloons, much like the party you’d had at ten years old, when the only person you could celebrate with was Mat. Your family was standing around the table, where there were chips, ice cream, cake and- of course- alcohol. You glanced over at Mat, who had that classic, cheeky grin across his face. Of course he would.

“Happy twenty-first!”

“Come on, birthday girl!” Your dad lit the candles on the cake. “Come make a wish.”

And wish you did. You closed your eyes and let out a breath and you wished for Mat’s hands in yours, Mat’s lips on yours, Mat’s body against yours, Mat’s heart loving yours. You wished for Mat.

“Alright, are you guys gonna let me drink today or what?”

Your family laughed as they dug into the cake and motioned to the alcoholic drinks set out on the table and you picked up a random bottle- some sort of flavored vodka?- but Mat came up from where he had been lingering behind you and took the drink out of your hands. “Let me mix something up for you that’s actually tasty, alright? You want your first time to be a good one, right?”

You tried to ignore the shiver that crept up your spine at his words, and having him so close behind you. “Ooh, you know how to mix drinks? A man of many talents.”

“Well, I know a few.” He gathered up some ingredient that you were sure he sent your parents to get while the two of you were gone. “I can make you something that tastes good, but if you drink enough it will have you fucked up beyond recognition by tonight. If you’re okay with that, anyway.”

You laughed. You were never the type to get fucked up drunk, but Mat made you brave, he made you adventurous, so why not? Anyway, you had spent the entire day lingering on the memories of your dream last night and blushing at whatever he did, so you needed to forget about this stupid crush and loosen up around him again. “Alrighty, Barzal. Fuck me up."

“I promise.”

Mat felt so nervous about getting you drunk tonight. Sure, it’s your twenty-first birthday and you were asking him to and he couldn’t wait to see what you were like drunk, but he also knew part of him was going to feel so guilty the next morning when you were hungover, and he didn’t want anything to happen to you. So he promised himself he was going to stay sober and keep an eye on you at all times tonight and make sure you’re alright. What kind of a friend would he be otherwise?

As Mat got to work mixing up a drink for you and shooed you out of the kitchen with a piece of birthday cake, you sat down on the back porch with your mom, looking out to the ocean and eating your cake in silence as she flipped through a book.

“That Mathew is quite the boy.”

“He is.”

“He’s always been this sweet to you, hasn’t he? Since you were nine.”

“Yeah. He’s pretty great.”

“You like him?” You glanced over to where your mom was smirking at you from her chair and heaved out a frustrated groan.

“Mom, I can be friends with a guy without being in love with them, you know.” And yeah, you could have male friends without being in love with them, but… Mat was an exception to that. He was the one male friend that you had less than platonic feelings for. Not that you’d admit it to her.

“Alright, alright.” She held up her hands in mock surrender and laughed. “But I’m just saying-”

“Mom, don’t-”

“-He’s much nicer to you than any of your past boyfriends were.” You went silent then, and you knew your mom had won the conversation. Yeah, Mat was better to you than any of your exes. Whether that was saying something about how bad your exes were of how good Mat is, you couldn’t be sure. No, your exes hadn’t been that bad. “I wonder if Mat would like to see these photos.”

“What photos?” You glanced over to what she was looking at and finally noticed the photo album from 2008. “Woah, look at us!”

There on the page in front of you were four of the many pictures of you and Mat as children. Obviously you had been the closest of friends, as there were hardly any pictures of either of you alone that summer. If you were there, Mat was there, and if Mat was there, you were there. That’s how it had gone that week. How your parents had ever managed to separate the two of you at the end of the week to drive home was beyond you. Your eyes lingered for a moment longer and the picture of the two of you standing in front of the sandcastle you’d built on the first day you met. Mat’s arm was over your shoulder, and yours over his, and he was smiling that same smile he had today, the one that was impossible to not smile back to. You felt as if you had been sucked back in time, and didn’t realize you were staring at the picture until you heard the door open and close.

“I got your drink.”

“Mat, you gotta look at these with me!” Your mom got up to leave the two of you alone, and you didn’t miss the smirk on her face before she disappeared into the house.

“No way, that’s us?” Mat sat down next to you, way, way too close for friends, practically pressing against your side. “We’re so young.”

“Yeah.”

“Damn. We were really close, huh?” And you were really close right now, too, sitting with your arms and thighs touching, half of his chest against your back. You scooted to the side a bit to make more room for him, but he stayed where he was, leaning over your shoulder to look at the pictures. “We’re still pretty close, aren’t we? I mean, in the last year or so we’ve really reconnected. I’d say you’re one of my best friends now.”

Best friends, best friends, best friends. That’s all you were, and that’s all you would stay. But that was alright with you, as long as you could still see him every day. “Aww, Mat. You’re not allowed to make me emotional on my birthday!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He smiled and had your heart fluttering in your chest. “Hey, hey, try your drink.” He handed you the glass and watched with a smile as you tasted it. “Is it good?”

“Yeah, it is actually. Is there even any alcohol in this? I can barely taste it.”

“Oh, yeah. After this, you’ll definitely be getting tipsy, trust me.”

“Great, thank you so much, Maty. But can we go on a walk when that happens? I don’t need my family to have blackmail of me.”

He laughed again, tossing a big arm over your shoulders and looking back to the pictures. “Anything for you.”

A few hours later, after the obligatory singing of the “Happy Birthday'' song and after you had eaten your pizza delivery for dinner, when you were sipping slowly on your second drink and were beginning to feel it, you and Mat walked down to the beach together, comfortable in the peaceful quietness that settled between you. Something you loved about Mat from the first day you met him was how there was never an awkward moment with him. No matter who you were, he always made you feel welcome and accepted and smiled and urged you on gently even as you stumbled over your words, his attention never leaving you. He always made you feel like you were the only person in the world, and you were grateful.

“Today was fun.”

“Party doesn’t start until you can’t walk straight, right?” Mat laughed, but deep inside he wasn’t sure he was ready to see you drunk. Before he could question why you wanted to get drunk so bad, or if there was something you wanted to get your mind off of, a small round object fell in front of his field of vision and a dog jumped up at him. “Oh, holy shit!”

“It’s not over yet. You haven’t even finished your second drink.”

“You’re right.” You giggled a little bit. “I can still walk in a straight line, so I’m not drunk enough.”

He heard you laugh next to him and his heart calmed down. “Don’t like dogs, Barzal?”

“I don’t…. dislike dogs.” He leaned down to pet it almost politely, like the way you would smile at a stranger when making eye contact with them on the street. “It just came up out of nowhere. Spooked me.”

“Yeah, alright. Spooked you.” You had no idea how this dog could look threatening to anybody- it was a small dog, but not a small dog like a chihuahua or anything, it was a golden retriever puppy and it was all fluffy and smiling it’s little puppy smile with big dark eyes. It was so cute. You knelt down to pet the dog and coo to it in a baby voice, and Mat’s heart almost melted at the sight.

“Hey, sorry!” The two of you looked up to see a young man- around your age- rushing down from a group of people hanging out on the beach. He leaned down to pick up the puppy, and Mat leaned down to grab the ball that had landed in front of the two of you.

“That’s fine! What’s your dog’s name?”

“Ah, this is Pippy! She’s about three months old!”

“Aww, she’s so cute!”

Mat hated the pang of jealousy he felt. He didn’t want to feel this way over a fucking dog, but he wished you looked at him the same way you were looking at that puppy right now. As Mat handed the ball back to him, he couldn’t help but glance up the beach and recognize what they had been playing. “Spikeball?”

“Yeah.” Before he turned around to head back up to his friends, he hesitated. “Actually, do you guys want to join in? My teammate’s getting tired of playing, so I could use another guy.”

“Yeah? What d’you think?” Mat glanced down at you as if asking permission. It was your birthday, after all.

“Well, I’m not any good at it.”

“Oh don’t worry.” The guy assured you. “None of us are.”

“Alright, sure. You have alcohol up there?”

“Oh yeah, Definitely.”

Before your worries could make you hesitate to join this group of strangers, you and Mat were exchanging names with your new, temporary friends. Normally, you couldn’t just immerse yourself within a group out of nowhere, so it was amazing how simple it was to make friends when the alcohol was making you braver. It was loud and hot and exciting when you played on Mat’s team, every now and then bumping into each other and laughing, cheeks burning and hearts heavy at the contact. The sun went down and darkness rolled in, and you had taken a break from playing and sat back on the sand with three other girls around the fire, sipping on a new drink- your last of the night, as you were definitely out of it now- and watching the boys.

“Nothing like watching the boys play, huh?” One of the girls spoke up from beside you, nudging your side. “Where’d you get a guy like that?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, girl!” Another spoke up, laughing a bit. “If you don’t mind me saying- Mat is so. Freaking. Hot. Like, hot damn. You’re so lucky.”

Oh. Oh, they thought Mat was your boyfriend. Your face heated up- no, scratch that. It was already flushed because of all the alcohol, and you looked up to where Mat was, shirtless and golden in the light of the fire, a radiant smile on his face as he competed with the other guys. You watched as his body stretched up in a little jump to hit the ball over to his partner, and took the moment to admire the way his muscles moved, trying to imagine how he would feel on you- on your body, your waist, your mouth, your core--

When you first started drinking tonight, it was in a desperate last attempt to get Mat off of your mind. To get yourself to loosen up a bit around him and not feel so flustered and shy whenever he was near. Maybe you thought it would make you forget him, but you were certainly wrong, because all the feelings you had before had only been heightened a hundred times since you started drinking, and now Mat was the only thing on your mind. This only thing you could focus on properly. In fact, the alcohol had opened the floodgates of lewd ideas and images of you and Mat that you had previously tried to keep locked away in a far part of your brain. This was your friend, you didn’t want to be thinking these things. But fuck it was so hard not to when he looked like that and acted like that and treated you like that.

“Yeah, he’s fucking hot alright.”

“I bet he’s packin’ too, right?”

You didn’t say yes or no to that, but the way your face split into a wide grin at the thought of what was beneath those shorts was enough to convince the girls you knew and had them whooping and cheering with laughter. In your drunken state, maybe you didn't realize you probably shouldn't be talking about your best friend's dick- which you hadn't even fully seen- but you really didn't care. "Yeah, the best dick out there."

You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to dark, hot places. You’d definitely seen Mat in his underwear one or two times during your friendship, and had totally seen a dick print or outline here or there. So from what you could see of him… he must feel fucking good. His big hands gripping you, his fingers, his lips… his soft hair falling down against your stomach, his thighs. Everything about him made you hot and bothered. So you sat there, your cheeks hot and your body throbbing at just the mere idea of what he could do to you. The dream from last night popped into your head, the way, he held you so good, so tight, the way his fingers dug into your hips and pulled you in, the way he filled you up so good and had you crying out for more. It may have only been a dream, but fuck, it felt so real.

It was at this moment that Mat looked over from where he was standing to check up on you and saw you drunkenly smiling up at him from across the fire, and he couldn’t help but laugh at the state you were in. He turned back to the guys and motioned back to you. “Right, I think we should get going now.”

“Alright, it was fun!” And then, catching a glimpse of you stumbling to your feet behind Mat, they laughed. “Take care of your girlfriend, looks like she has a few too many tonight.”

Mat’s heart fluttered in his chest. ‘Your girlfriend. Your girlfriend. Your girlfriend.’ He could listen to people calling you his girlfriend forever. It suited you so well- he suited you so well. He would have sat and watched you and let his mind wander, but it was getting late, and he’d promised to have you home before midnight., so his only job right now was to keep you safe. So he was over by your side in seconds, not hesitating to secure an arm around your waist to steady you.

“C’mon, (Y/N).”

“Be safe you guys!”

Mat smiled as the two of you left your little group and headed back up the beach towards home. Wow, they thought you were dating. The two of you passed as boyfriend and girlfriend to strangers, and he didn’t even bother to correct them. Oh, god. He was so fucking ruined for you.

“You look good tonight, Mat.”

You wrapped your arms around his middle and stumbled into him, pressing your face into his side. Usually, Mat loved affection from you, but now, it felt wrong. He wanted you to hug him, he wanted you to be affectionate with him, but he wanted it when you were sober. He wanted you to be aware of what you were doing, and he didn’t want you to regret it the next morning. “Yeah? Thanks. You look nice too, even if you’re a little plastered.”

“Thanks, Matyyyyy.” Mat couldn’t help but laugh at how cute you were while drunk. “You always look nice, though. No matter what you’re wearing. Maybe you don’t even need to wear clothes. You’re always hot.” Hot. You thought he was hot. Yeah, Mat might have already known he was pretty good looking, but to hear you call him hot meant a lot to him. But… he just wished you weren’t drunk right now. He wished you were choosing to call him hot. Mat was silent for a little while, contemplating your words and trying to figure out what to reply with, when you stumbled and tripped through the sand, obviously too fucked to even walk straight by now, and Mat held you tighter to steady you again.

“God, your parents are gonna be pissed with me for getting you so wasted.”

“Ehh, fuck what they think! I just wanna have fun with youuu.” He smiled at your words and laughed as you hiccuped a little bit. "I had a dream about you last night. It was reaaaaally interesting."

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” The alcohol was messing with your senses, and it took only a moment for you to make the decision- the wrong decision- to open up about your dream. “It was hot. You were naked; we were naked. And we were goin’ at it, ya know? We were really goin’ at it.” Mat’s heart stopped, his breath hitched in his throat, and heat flooded through his body. You definitely didn’t mean to tell him that. You’d definitely regret that in the morning. He was definitely going to think of that tonight. “Oh no! You look worried! Don’t worry, you were really good!! Like, really good!”

“Okay, okay. Why don’t you wait till tomorrow to tell me?” He hushed you. As much as he wanted to know how that dream panned out, he also wanted to help you keep some of your dignity.

“I’m gonna forget tomorrow thooouuugh.” A comfortable silence fell over the two of you, and Mat took the moments to try and steady his heart. “You know, Maty, there’s still one birthday gift I haven’t gotten from you.”

“What’s that?”

Before he could do anything else, you were stopping him in his tracks and reaching up to ball your fist into the collar of the unbuttoned shirt he had thrown on, pulling him down to you. He- like a fool- followed you easily, thinking you were trying to whisper something in his ear, but realized much too late that that wasn’t what you were trying to do. Much to Mat’s horror, you pressed your mouth against his- and, even worse, it felt so nice, so perfect. He had waited for months for this exact moment, and though your lips were soft and sweet against his and even more than he could have ever dreamed of, they still tasted like the drinks he had made for you, and your movements were messy and drunken.

Oh fuck, this was what he wanted, and he wanted it so, so bad, so it took everything he had in him to pull his focus away from the way your mouth felt against his, and way your fingers were gripping his hair, and push you back. He took the moment to hold you at arm's length, his hands on your wrists, and his eyebrows creased in thought as he took in the sight of your breathless little smile and glazed over eyes. You looked so happy to have kissed him, but he knew it was only the alcohol.

“Alright, let’s get you home.”

And with that, everything was back to normal as you walked together back to the house with his arm still comfortably around your shoulders. Normal. Could you ever really go back to being normal after this? You had kissed him. Mat had just been kissed by one of his best friends, and he loved it. Fuck, the two of you lasted four days together here without ruining your friendship, but now what? Where could you go from here? Was this the end of a friendship, or the beginning of something even better? Would you even remember this in the morning, or would it be something that Mat had to carry for the rest of your friendship? Had he made it awkward now? Would your family find out? Had he just ruined the vacation?

Mat couldn't stop the thoughts from racing through his mind on the walk back to the house, but there was one constant question that just wouldn't leave:

Why the fuck couldn’t you have just kissed him when you were sober?

#mat barzal #op #nhl fic #fic #smile like sunshine #mathew barzal #hockey fanfiction #nhl fanfiction #mat barzal imagine

165 notes · View notes

secretsniper2 · 4 years ago

Text

A Walk in the Park

Morning, another dreary day ahead, usual routine, put my robe on, brush hair and put in ponytail, bit of makeup. Downstairs for something to eat and some coffee when i see it by the front door, a letter. Bit strange, i don't usually get letters but its addressed to me so why not check it out?

“Dear Emma, Our scouts saw you a few weeks ago and we believe you would be a perfect fit for our next event, you'll receive fair compensation for your time and equipment will be provided on arrival. we hope you accept.”

Looking over the letter again its as simple as its written, it even has a address, time and date, 5pm this Friday? well its not like im busy or anything, i was going to go to the movies with some friends but they bailed on me, and my account is getting rather empty.. sounds interesting.

“At least i now have something to DO in 3 days!” i chuckle to myself.

Sitting around the house with nothing to do, i think ill check out this address today while its broad daylight, its on the other side of town so i can walk through the park on the way and have some fresh air.

Sliding out of my robe i opt for a white shirt with black pants, always a good combo and some typical shoes for the park and walk. Busy today as usual as people rush in every direction on their way to wherever they are going, after a few brushes with clearly eager hands with 1 cupping my ass i manage to get to the park and take a breath, “pretty handsy today” i think to myself as i run my hand over my freshly groped ass. Another breath in and i continue away from the hands on crowd and move on.

Its quite impressive, iv walked past this building a few times before but this will be the first time i actually see the inside, its usually for high end events the kind of which id never enjoy, the high arches over the front door, the marble columns and statues lining the outside. what kind of job will it be anyway? im not good with food.

i shrug as i walk back through the park, longer route than i need but its a nice day to wander.

As i sit on a bench i can hear something i dont think iv ever expected to hear in a park, someone is moaning, quiet enough to not draw much attention but loud enough to hear if you get too close.. like me. Curiosity has me by the tits now as i turn to the bushes behind my chair and look around a large tree. Red hair swaying back and forth as right on the other side of the tree some girl is getting fucked, hard by her restricted moans, a red ballgag wedged tight in her mouth and a blindfold over her eyes, the man wont see me if i stay behind the tree but with his eyes closed he couldn't see the girl his cock is ramming.

The girl has some small clamps on her nipples with her blue minidress pulled down under her breasts and pulled up over her hips, its nothing more than a loose corset right now, 6 inch heels padlocked to her feet and a collar locked around her neck. Rose red cheeks almost glowing with heat as her moans escape the gag, on closer look the man has his cock buried not in her pussy, its her ass he is stuffing, her pussy is vacant but there's something covering it that has a few wires running up her back leading to a purple remote.

My adrenaline skyrockets as the man starts looking around for observers but luckily looked away first so i leaned back around the tree and was not gone as far as they knew, my own cheeks red now after watching what's going on, my own pussy pulsing as arousal sets in, i slowly look around the tree and the man is gone, the redhead is still there, on all 4s and shaking in a euphoric bliss.

A hand, grasping my shoulder and neck, squeezing tight my surprise wasted on a sharp inhale rather than a scream for help, im spun around and his eyes are staring daggers into mine, normally i would be thrashing by now but the sheer surprise, this man who was just fucking the other girl places a wet hand over my mouth. fear over the cause for the wetness keeps my lips sealed as my eyes lock to his own. The remaining hand which had spun me around was already working on my pants, pushing under and into my long since wet panties, his large fingers pushing in without a moments hesitation as his knuckle grinds into my clit.

I orgasm, faster than iv ever cum before, what takes minutes for me with my vibrator took this man seconds with 2 large fingers, 2 large fingers which are now moving like pistons as im spun around yet again, my back to him as his hand that was over my mouth leaves his mark on my lips as my neck is grasped. led from behind to the other girl who is now sitting up, blindfold off and eyes gazing at me, my body under the command of another's forceful insistence.

The hand that had been massaging me close to another orgasm withdraws as he trails my own juices up under my shirt and pinches my nipple through my bra. The man commands and the girl responds by crawling up and begins to pull my pants down, white panties soaked and stuck to my pussy in full view to this woman as my pants are pulled down to my knees. A little giggle from the woman reveals shes removed her gag, handing it to the man who then lowers to the ground, my body falling after him, the woman crawling under my pants and looks up, face now between my legs as my panties are dragged aside by her thin fingers.

As i open my mouth to beg her not to continue i see a flash of red and my mouth widens in surprise, the gag the redhead was wearing, biting and drooling on was now buckled into my own mouth, biting instinctively against the situation the man begins pulling my shirt and bra up over my head. Im helpless and exposed, 1 arm from this man is holding both of mine behind my back and i cant beat his strength. His remaining hand cupping my breasts 1 at a time as his friend peals my panties off my pussy.

“She looks so tasty! how much can i have?” the redhead gleefully says like a child talking about chocolate.

“Till i say so” the man responds in a deep throaty voice.

Its all she needed to hear as her face sinks into my sex, her lips locking with my won and her nose presses against my clit, her tongue working my walls over and then sinking in for a better taste.

To say im the loudest moaner would be natural, of course iv never been gagged and eaten out by another woman before, her nose running back and forth as i cum right on her tongue which she slurped up with a desperation iv never seen on anyone before. the sounds of her moaning into my pussy sending shivers up my spine, why couldn't i just ignore the sounds?

Eyes shooting open at the thought, what if someone else is now watching me cum at the tongue of this woman with a gag in my mouth? ill be seen as the pervert here more than these 2! The hand that had been working my breasts moves again, this time to my gagged mouth, covering it easily he pinches my nose as well, i cant breathe! and this woman has doubled her effort, at this rate ill cum for a 3rd time in as many minutes!

Mind begging for air, brain screaming for it as my eyes fall on the mans face, his cold expression telling me that it wont end soon, muscles tensing as my pussy shakes with a tongue and fingers working hard, another orgasm slurped up by the hungry redhead and still the man holds tight, the woman now focussing on my throbbing clit which, till now has only been rubbed by her nose on occasion, hot lips tight at the base as her tongue caresses as she sucks hard.

a 4th orgasm tears through my body, iv never had 4 in a row, most iv had till now was 2 in a row. These 2 are pushing me and they don't care if i break! Air rushes in as the man releases my nose, waiting for the exhale he pinches again, the woman pressing fingers deep inside, my G-spot being massaged as my clit is sucked.

“Enough Cunt” the man says, loud enough to be heard by just us as the woman breaks away from my throbbing pussy, her handiwork was leading me to a 5th, release the man has taken away as the source of pleasure slides out from between my legs with her face glistening in my pleasure, a smile on her face and eyes on mine. the lights dim as im forced to pass out.. not here, with them.

“nooo..” i weakly say into the gag.

____

Cold, wet, exhausted.. My eyes open and im alone, in a small, secluded alcove of bushes, no one would find her here but why am i here? im in another part of the park entirely! did they really move me while i was unconscious? at least my clothes are all back on, a bit forced, but with a noticeable difference.. my panties are gone, bra too.. my soaked pussy in my pants and rigid nipples rubbing against my shirt, its already chafing and i have barely moved!

“Home is.. that way” i think to myself as i shamble out of the bushes, my pants occasionally making contact with my hypersensitive pussy, my muscles jerk or twitch in response as it takes me 15 minutes to walk 3 minutes with me constantly looking over my shoulders, occasionally looking at others and becoming very aware of my nipples making their presence known to any who would look my way.

Safe, i think. Doors locked as i check the clock on the wall, iv been gone all day! how long was i out? did they do anything to me while i was unconscious? ill have to give my body a look in my room, walking up my stairs i look completely different compared to this morning, my neat hair in a ponytail? now a utter mess, my white shirt not missing a button and my nipples pressing through the thin fabric, my black pants now dirty and panties missing with a soaked pussy just underneath.

Stripping in my room i turn to my mirror, my breasts have bruises, my pussy burning red, clit still throbbing. looking at my soaked pussy my mind drifts back, i could have ran! i could have screamed! but i just watched and wanted and then joined them. was i really that needy? that pent up?

My hand already beating my mind to the punch as my fingers circle my clit, sitting on my bed i fall back as i work hard, my need burning again, harder than usual. My fingers clearly not up to the task i roll over to my bedside table, my toys will scratch this itch as usual, at least to release.

Why? WHY?! why did i enjoy what they did?! the man pinning me with 1 arm and the woman, that redhead, her mouth.. her lips, the skill and determination.. why did i love every second of her attention, rolling over, closing my legs, locking my vibrator against my clit it isnt enough! its always worked before,

“my favourite position and toy have never failed me before” i plead in my head as i curl into a ball as the vibrations stir me into a frenzy, memories of what happened still fresh in my mind, nipples pinched, clit sucked, pussy devoured.

“nnnngh! Cmmmm NNNNNNN” i grunt into my pillow!

why wont it work! i need to, i want to cum! why why whyyy! my mind racing with desire when a thought rose up. Moving my arms behind my back i grab my elbows with my hands and squeeze hard, i bite my pillow and moan as a colossal orgasm tears my pussy to pieces on its way out! the single largest orgasm iv ever had and my arms race to the vibrator and turn it off with tears in my eyes, i know what they did to me.. but what did they do to me?

#Stories #Custom

8 notes · View notes

khiphop-stories · 5 years ago

Text

Getting Off The Wrong Foot

[Christian Yu | Chapter XI]

Previous Chapters:

“Are you falling for me too?“ He asked, his eyes locked with yours. Your widened eyes rested on him, not blinking. You spent a few seconds staring at him, your brain unable to formulate a thought. It was a question you didn’t expect at all, especially not coming for him.

“You’re worried? Wanna make a run for it?“ You then broke out into a deep rumbling laughter. Joking - that’s how you dealt with situations you weren’t comfortable with. He couldn’t have been serious anyway, could he? But unlike yours, his face showed no sign of amusement. Usually he would join you and laugh at your jokes, even if they weren’t funny to begin with. But this time, not a muscle on his face twitched. He looked at you deadpan. Was he afraid that you might cling onto him like other girls did? Was he afraid to lose his freedom?

“You’ve been a good friend to me, plus the sex is good. But that’s it. You’re safe. Nothing to be worried about. I’m not falling for you, Christian,” you assured him and you meant it. How could you fall in love with him, when your heart still belonged to someone else? He sighed shortly. Was it a sigh of relief or disappointment? You couldn’t read the expression on his face nor could you guess what was going through his mind right now. You had agreed early on that this would only be physical thing. Why was he suddenly worried about it turning into something more? Admittedly you were a hopeless romantic, but you weren’t over Kiseok yet and he knew, it was the reason you slept with him in the first place. If you had met him under different circumstances, maybe then things would have been different. But there was no room, to think about what ifs.

“Good, ‘cause I’m really not looking for a relationship,” he then said with a confidence that didn’t sound very convincing, but you shook it off with a shrug. You didn’t want to start questioning him now.

“Good, me neither,” you agreed with him.

~*~

Keeping up the act was quite exhausting and you were slowly beginning to regret having agreed to it in the first place. It didn’t cross your mind that fooling his family wouldn’t be as easy as you had imagined. They knew him inside out while you barely had gotten to know him. You spent most of your time with physical activities and afterwards you were both so exhausted you would go straight to sleep. There was no room for pillow talks. So when his relatives told you stories about him, it felt as though they were describing a completely different person, a stranger. You learned a lot more about him in the span of a few hours than you did over the past few weeks. Ever since you stepped inside this house your entire body felt tensed, you were in constant fear that someone might see through it. Despite your worries, the afternoon went by without any mishaps on your part. You just had to endure a couple more hours, before you could go home, you thought to yourself. But before you could face his relatives again, you needed a moment to yourself. A moment where you could be yourself, not Christian’s fake girlfriend. When nobody was paying attention to you, you quickly escaped to the balcony that was attached to the living room. You took a slow controlled breath and attempted to loosen your body movements. You felt the fresh spring breeze fill your lungs. Winter hadn’t fully passed yet, it was still rather cold outside. Crossing your arms, you leaned them against the railing. Your eyes watched the sun slowly setting behind the buildings at the horizon. The sun casted it golden rays down upon the rooftops, painting the sky shades of orange and pink. Taking this beautiful sight in, your body could finally relax a little.

You heard the balcony door open and close behind you. You didn’t turn around, because you knew the sound of those footsteps. Christian stepped next to you and also leaned against the railing, his eyes following yours, taking in the picture-perfect sight in front of you.

“Are you cold?” He asked when he saw how lightly you were dressed. Without waiting for your answer, he slid the suit jacked down his shoulders, but you stopped him midway. You pulled it back over his shoulders, adjusting it neatly.

“Keep it on. You just recovered from your cold,” you reminded him. He had been lying sick in bed the past few days. Since his fever was quite high you dropped by almost every day after work to check on him. He didn’t really have anyone else to take care of him so you took it upon yourself. It was in your nature as the elder sister to worry too much. You were used to taking care of your sick brother, it wasn’t any different with Christian. It were the same symptoms and you knew exactly what he needed to heal quickly.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized out of the blue.

You turned your head to the side, looking at him through narrowed eyes. You didn’t understand what he was apologzing for. “My family can be a pain in the arse.”

You shook your head at him with a little smile planted on your lips. “They’re lovely people.” “You think?”

“My family is not that big. I only have an uncle. He never had kids so I’ve never experienced something like this. It’s quite fun, except for the interrogation part,” you chuckled lightly. It was the first time you experienced a family reunion like this. Your own family wasn’t that close, you never met up for holidays or birthdays. Your uncle only ever called when he needed something.

“You’re lucky my aunt hasn’t found the time to talk to you yet,” he told you playfully as he lightly nudged your elbow with his. “I don’t think she can be worse than your cousins.”

“Why? What did they do?” A wide grin played on his lips.

“They asked way too many questions! It felt like my brain was exploding coming up with lies to tell,” you whined. “What kind of questions did they ask?” “How we met, who confessed first, if you’re romantic, how our sex life is, if you treat me good,—“

“Our sex life?” Christian repeated with arched brows. You could see the smug smirk on his lips even though he was trying to hide it. Of course, out of everything you had said, it was that part that caught his attention. “What did you say?” “I said it was good,” you shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, deciding to completely omitting the part where you fantasized about him.

“Just good? That’s an understatement, you make me look bad!” He grabbed his chest, pretending to feel offended. “You should have said that I am the best you ever had.”

“That would’ve been a lie though,” you immediately retorted without thinking.

“I’m not your best?” He asked you in a high-pitched voice, looking at you in disbelief. “Who is then?”

Christian was, but you didn’t want to admit it to someone whose ego was as big as his. No, you would never admit it to him, because then you wouldn’t hear the end of it. “Kiseok?” He took a guess as you didn’t answer his question. Even now you remained silent. “The way you described him I thought he was a rather selfish lover. Guess he was doing something right,” he then said trying to provoke a reaction from you. Suddenly Christian shifted in his position. He stood in front of you, his hands grabbing the railing, his arms either side of you trapping you in between.

“Let me redeem myself, then.” He leaned his muscular body against yours, pressing your back against the cold railing. You felt a shiver run down your spine. “I’ll be the best you ever had.” One of his hand slid under your dress, pushing the soft fabric up your thighs. Then it worked its way to your butt, giving it a tight squeeze. His head moved closer and he covered your mouth with his in a hungry kiss.

“Your family, Christian,” you reminded him sharply as you were struggling to push him away. Truth be told, you actually didn’t want him to stop there, but you weren’t going to embarrass yourself today. Not in front of so many strangers that he called his family. It was only a glass door that separated you from his entire family. Even though they couldn’t see you because of the thick curtain hanging over the door, it was too risky. Somebody could have come barging in at any given moment.

“I don’t think I can wait ‘till we get home,” he groaned at the loss of contact. He tried to kiss you again, but you quickly turned your head to the side. Then you felt something hard pressing against your lower abdomen. You lowered your gaze and your jar dropped open at the sight of the bulge in his pants. “You’re unbelievable, Christian,” you shook your head at him as you threw him a glare.

“I can’t help it,” he whined. He bit down on his bottom lip as his eyes caressed your body.

“You look so sexy today,” he whispered in your ear, before kissing your ear lobe. You felt his hot, uncontrolled breath brushing against your skin. “C’mon, Min.” “Nope,” you shook your head. “Your whole family is right on the other side of the door!”

“Don’t make me beg for it,” he whispered in a pleading tone. He almost had you there, the expression on his face, his deep voice and the way he was looking at you. It was too much for you to handle, you needed to get out of there, before you would give in to him.

“Take care of it yourself,” you told him, trying to sound as cold and sharp as possible. You smoothly wriggled out of his arms and walked towards the door. “Fuck,” a deep groan left his mouth. “Can you at least stay with me until…my dick has calmed down.”

“Fine,” you turned back again and walked towards him as your eyes mustered him.

“Shit, Minhee, don’t look at me like that. It’s not helping,” he complained out of the blue. “That’s my face!” “Turn around,” he ordered. Not waiting for you to follow his instructions, he grabbed your shoulders and turned you the other way. He closed his eyes, trying to distract himself, trying not to think about the things he wanted to do with you. But the image of your naked body kept reappearing inside of his head and he was getting more and more turned on by the second. “I just took a huge dump today,” you said out of the blue. His eyes shot open. “What?” “It was really nasty and it smelt horribly.” You thought the more disgusting the story you invented was, the quicker his erection would disappear.

“That’s information I didn’t need to know.”

“Did it help though?” “Not at all,” he shook his head with a laugh.“I’m gonna go to the restroom.You need to cover for me though.” He walked behind you so nobody could see his little friend down there. When you reached the restroom, you parted with him. You went back to the living room where the party was at. As you were standing in the room like a lost puppy, his mother walked over to you and kept you company. Although she did ask you a couple questions, she didn’t make you feel like you were being interrogated. The way she was speaking to you, you were the one that wanted to tell her more about yourself. That’s the power she had. You ended up revealing a bit more about yourself than you had originally planned.

“To be honest, I was a bit scared he wouldn’t be able to love again after Nayeon.”

It was the first time someone mentioned the name of his ex and judging by the how softly she spoke about her, she must have liked her quite a bit. His ex must have gotten along well with his mother. She probably fooled her just like she had Christian wrapped around her fingers. But how was what you were doing right now any different to how his ex played everybody? You weren’t being truthful either, so how could you condemn someone else for doing exactly what you were doing right now.

“He’s someone with a big heart. He just needs to find the right person to give it to. I’m really glad he’s found you. When he told me about you he was grinning from ear to ear. I missed that boyish, carefree look on him. He seems to be really fond of you.” “I don’t think so,” you blurted out without thinking. His mother had such high hopes for you, it didn’t feel right to be lying to her.

“Don’t say something like that, dear. Rome wouldn’t introduce a girl he wasn’t serious about to the family. And I can see why he likes you so much.” “No…he…I-I mean…” you stuttered when you couldn’t find the right words to explain the situation. “We’re not really dating. I’m sorry for lying to you,“ you blurted out without thinking.

“If you’re not his girlfriend, then…” His mother looked at you confused. “I’m just a friend. He asked me to come, because his aunts were pressuring him so much. I’m really sorry.” “It’s ok, dear. My sisters can be kind of…obtrusive sometimes,” she agreed with a laugh. She didn’t seem to be caught off guard by the new information. You expected her to be angry with you, but she seemed to be taking it rather relaxed.

“But your son is a really great guy. I’m sure he’ll find the right person,” you meant what you said. Those were probably the first true words that you had said today.

“Sometimes you miss the forest for the trees.”

“What do you mean?” “Never mind. There he is, I’ll leave you two alone,” she nodded to Christian who had just appeared in the crowd.

~*~

“What were you talking about with my mum?” “I kinda fucked up. I’m sorry,” you admitted straight away as you swallowed down. “What happened?”

“I couldn’t lie to your mom. She knows we’re just pretending.” You expected him to be angry. He had been a great emotional support to you without asking for anything in return. It was only one simple favor, yet you couldn’t even manage to get through the day without messing up. “Well, it’s my mum,” he sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “She probably knew anyway.”

“You’re not angry?”

“Why would I be?” He looked at you dumbfounded as he let out a laugh. “I got my aunts off my back. That’s what I wanted in the first place.”

“I’ll go get some drinks.” “No,” you hurriedly grabbed his hand, pulling him back. “Please don’t leave me alone with your family,” you said with panic in your eyes. You weren’t sure you would survive another interrogation by his cousins.

“Okay,” he chuckled softly. “I won’t leave your side.” “You can let me go, you know?” He looked down and your eyes followed his. You didn’t realize you were still holding his hand until he pointed it out.

“Sorry,” you quickly pulled your hand back as if touching fire while an awkward chuckle left your lips.

~*~

[Time leap]

“Mum, we’re heading home first. Minhee has a meeting early in the morning.“

“Where is she?“ His mother looked left and right, searching for you.”She’s waiting in the car.“ Christian wanted to bid goodbye to his mother, but after the incident between you and his mother, it didn’t feel right to appear in front of her again. You felt too guilty for lying.

“Confess to her before it’s too late.“ “What?“ He looked at his mother with big eyes, completely startled by her words. “Mum, it’s not like that. I just asked her to pretend to be my girflfriend, so I won’t have to go on those stupid blind dates.“ “Rome, when do you ever learn that you cannot deceive your own mother? I know my son. And I know when he is in love.”

“I’m not in love with her. Really. She’s a just good friend,“ he denied again as he shook his head. He knew once his mother was set on something, there was no changing her mind whether she was actually right or wrong. But why was he so adamant in proving her wrong right now? Whom was he trying to convince?

“Don’t wait too long or you might miss your chance.“

“I don’t even like her that way. Neither does she,” he tried to explain to his mother.

“I see the way you look at her. That’s not the look of someone who’s looking at his friend…” “Mum, it’s really not like that. She’s a good friend…and she’s in love with someone else anyway. She was just trying to help me out because I asked her.”

“If you wait too long to acknowledge your feelings, you might lose her.”

~*~

Ever since Christian returned to the car he had been rather quiet. He didn’t talk a lot throughout the ride and it made you wonder if you had said something to irritate him. You tried to backtrack your conversations with him. He didn’t seem angry when you had told him that his mother knew the truth. He was still goofing around with you afterwards. It was only after he went in again to say goodbye to his mother that his mood suddenly changed. It must have had something to do with his mother, you concluded. “Did your mom scold you? I’m sorry. It just didn’t feel right to lie to her.“ “Nah everything’s good,“ Christian quickly shook it off and gave you a reassuring smile. It was a half-hearted smile. You could tell his mind was somewhere else and he didn’t put in much effort to hide it.

“Why are you so quiet then?“ You probed further. “I’m just a bit tired.“ He closed his eyelids and crossed his arms in front of his chest, sinking into the seat. You reached out one of your hands while the other held the wheel, your eyes still focused on the roads. You touched his forehead to check his temperature which made him flinch. “What are you doing?“ He pushed himself into an upright position, his full attention now on you. “Checking your temperature.“ “I’m good.“ “You sure?“ His forehead was warm, it wasn’t quite a fever yet, but it wasn’t the normal body temperature either. “I’m fine, Minhee,“ he chuckled.

“Then what’s going through your mind?“

Christian looked away from you, then down at his shoes. Still not meeting your eyes, he touched the watch on his wrist and played with it for a moment. The car remained utterly silent. You heard the sound of his breaths, irregular and shaky.

“What you said earlier…”

“What exactly?“ You had spent the entire day with him and his family, you had said a lot of things to him. It was impossible to remember everything or guess what he was referring to. “You said you’re not falling in love with me.“ “You’re still worried about that?“ You chuckled, your shoulders falling in relief. You thought it was something serious, but if it was only that bothering him, he had nothing to worry about. “How can you be so sure? I mean it’s possible that you do, isn’t it?“

You spent a moment thinking about it, but you couldn’t imagine dating him, or dating anyone in general right now. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen.“ “Why not?“ “You’re not my type,“ you answered shortly and simply. “What is your type?“ “Well, for starters someone who’s not afraid of commitment.“

“I’ve been in relationships,“ he pointed out matter-of-factly.

“I know, but…you don’t want to be in one right now, do you?“

“Where did you get that idea?”

“You said that! And you’re not really making an effort in meeting someone or going on dates.”

He didn’t say anything, he couldn’t say anything. After all you were right and he couldn’t dispute that. He was way too busy to meet someone new and go on dates. Getting to know someone was a time-consuming activity and he didn’t have time left to spare. The time he had, he wanted to spend with you.

“Ian, you don’t have to worry,” you assured him again. “I don’t even wanna be in a romantic relationship right now, neither do you. I want some time for myself, you know. Just focusing on work and myself, I’ve been neglecting that for too long. It’s just sex, no feelings involved.” You words were supposed to give him assurance. You thought that was what he wanted to hear, but they had a different effect him. Christian remained silent again. He glanced out of the window, then at his feet. His gaze danced around, avoiding yours.

”If you’re that worried that I might catch feelings, we could just stop-”

“I don’t wanna stop,” he replied almost immediately as though it was a reflex. “What is it that you want then?”

He didn’t answer that question, because he knew he couldn’t have what he wanted. He’d be asking for too much. “You’re right,” he let out a shaky breath. For a moment, there was no sound.

“Let’s stop.”

~*~

You parked his car in the underground garage of his apartment. You turned off the engine and pulled out the keys, before returning them to their owner.

“I can’t drive you home, because I drank,” he said with an apologetic look on his face.

“I know, I’ll just take a cab.” “You can stay, you know,” he offered as he awkwardly scratched the back his head. “And do what?” Whenever one of you stayed for the night, there was only one purpose. But sex was out of question now that you both came to the mutual agreement to stop. Staying for the night and not sleeping with each other seemed weird to you. It felt wrong.

“Right…” he let out an awkward chuckle. “Text me, when you’re home.”

~*~

[Time leap]

You were brushing you hair when you heard the sound of the door bell. You hurriedly walked to the intercom while your hands were busy tying your hair into a bun which was rather difficult without a mirror. At times like these, you wondered why you let your hair grow that long in the first place. It would be a lot easier if you just chopped everything off. You turned on the speaker function and told Christian that you would be down in a minute.

“I’ll come upstairs.”

“Why?” You wondered, but still pressed the button to open the door. I felt a bit weird, he hadn’t taken a step inside your apartment since you both agreed to stop the physical activities. All you ever did at home was related to sex, that’s why you never bothered to invite him in again.You left your apartment door ajar so he could enter himself and stepped in front of the mirror to fix your bun. You heard the door closing, before Christian appeared in front of you. He was carrying a small wooden box in his hands.

“What’s that?” Your eyes followed him.

“Peaches,” he answered shortly before he led himself into your kitchen with you following behind. He placed it down on the kitchen counter. Clapping his hands together, to wipe off the dust. You stepped next to him and took a peak inside.

“My aunt grows them in her garden. She sent me two boxes of it and told me to share them with my girlfriend,“ he said with emphasis on the last word. “The perks of being Rome’s fake girlfriend,” you said playfully as you took a quick look at the peaches. They looked delicious. Smiling to yourself, you felt a warm and fuzzy feeling, a feeling you weren’t unfamiliar with. Kiseok’s parents had a little farm where they grew their own crops and they would always sent you some. They made you feel welcomed and loved, just like Christian’s family did. The only difference was that their friendliness was based on a lie. You weren’t really deserving of it.

“Let’s go.” Christian saw the subtle change in your facial expression, so he tried to divert your attention to something else. You quickly grabbed a jacket and followed him to the elevator which really took its time.

“You sure you wanna watch that movie?” He asked you out of the blue. “Why? What’s wrong with it? I heard it was good.” “I read some reviews…” His face turned dark.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared?“ You broke out into rumbling laughter. You didn’t think he would be scared of horror movies. He always gave a reliable and gutsy impression, someone who wasn’t scared of anything.

“A little bit?“ He chuckled shyly. “I mean…you should have read the reviews!“ “You said you liked horror movies!” “I don’t.” Since none of your friends wanted to watch that movie with you, you had bothered Christian for over a week until he finally gave in.

“Why did you agree then?” “‘Cause I missed you.”

Your body froze for a brief moment as you blinked at him, a sudden warmth shooting through your body.

“Now you’re just sweet-talking me,“ you chuckled lightly as you rolled your eyes.

“Did it work though?“ He grinned at you playfully.

“A little bit,“ you winked at him with a smile.

“So we’re not watching that stupid horror movie?“

“Well, I don’t want you to wet your pants at night,“ you took this perfect opportunity to tease, a smirk spreading across your face.

In this moment a high-pitched tone indicated that the elevator had just arrived. The door slid open, revealing a silhouette standing on the other side. You didn’t pay much attention as you were immersed in the conversation with Christian. Without looking, you walked straight into the elevator. Christian quickly pulled you back, stopping you from bumping into the person in front of you. Confused you looked up, your entire body froze and a string of nerves tightened in your ribs upon seeing that familiar face.

“Kiseok…,” you whispered to yourself, still not believing your eyes.

“Can we talk?” He asked you with caution, his voice sounded soft.

“I-I…actually have plans right now.” You wanted the words to be firm, strong, but instead your voice was shaking. You glanced at Christian, with your eyes you pleaded him to help you to get out of this sticky situation, but he didn’t seem to get it, or maybe he did, but he just chose to ignore it.

“I’ll give you two some privacy. I’ll wait in the car,” he told you as he walked into the elevator, leaving your side. No, no, no, Christian, don’t leave me, you shook your head slightly, giving him all the signs you could think of to make him stay. But he didn’t. He waited for Kiseok to leave the elevator, before he pushed the button that brought him to the ground floor.

Fuck, you cursed inside of your head. You didn’t know what to feel right now, overwhelmed with contradictory emotions. You were angry with Christian, as he left you alone with Kiseok without a second thought. You didn’t want to talk to Kiseok. Christian out of everyone should have known how much you dreaded seeing him again. Yet he left. You felt betrayed by someone you thought would have your back when you needed him. At the same time you felt hurt and scared of the conversation that was about to come.

“What do you want, Kiseok? Did Jay send you?“ You quickly regained your composure, not wanting him to see you in a vulnerable state. “No, I decided to come myself.“

“Why? You have more insults you want to rid yourself of?“ You asked him in a mocking tone. “I’m sorry for how I behaved at the party. It was inappropriate,” he said out of the sudden. An apology coming from him was the thing you least expected. “I got jealous when I saw you with him.“ It had been a while since you heard honest words coming out of his mouth. “And you thought picking a fight with me in public would it make it better?“ You snarled back at him with sarcasm.

“No…I-I didn’t think at all to be honest. I had one too many and I leashed out at you.“ You knew it was a sincere apology, yet you weren’t satisfied. You weren’t sure what you wanted to hear from him, but nothing he said could subdue the anger you felt towards him. It wasn’t only anger either, more than anything you felt hurt and betrayed. “You’re excuses are getting worse.“ “Look, Minhee, it’s not easy for me. We’ve been together for so long.“ “And you think it’s easy for me?“ You looked at him in disbelief as you let out a scoff.

“Well, you’ve found yourself someone else pretty quickly.“ “It was just sex.“ You didn’t even know why you felt the need to set it straight. It was none of his business anyway. It was your life which he wasn’t a part of anymore due to his own doing. “I saw the way you looked at him.“ “And how am I looking at him?“ “The same way you used to look at me.“ You shook your head at him and let out a chuckle in disbelief. “God, you’re so paranoid. I’m not in love with him. I think I’d be the first one to know if I like someone or not.”

“What is he doing here then? I know you, Min. You don’t invite just anyone to your home.” You had no idea how the apology turned into an interrogation and you didn’t feel comfortable with the direction the conversation took.

“I don’t owe you an explanation, Kiseok.” “It’s just unfair that you get to move on with your life while I’m still miserable.“ “You have no right to say that. You walked out on us the moment you fucked her and lied to me.“ “I only lied to you because I didn’t want to hurt you and I didn’t want to lose you.“

“Well, you hurt me and you lost me, so that plan of yours didn’t work out very well, did it?“

“I’ve made a mistake, Minhee. I know that and I know it’s not something I can’t fix with a simple apology. But I’m trying. I’m really trying to fix it, because I can’t throw away the past four years just like that. You mean too much to me. I can’t just let you go like that. I can’t give up like this.”

In the silence that followed, you broke your gaze preferring instead to rest your eyes on the elevator behind him. “Is there nothing I can do to win back your trust?“ “I don’t know,” you answered truthfully. Would you ever be able to trust him again after all the lies he had told? Would you ever be able to believe his words without having any doubts? Was his word even worth anything anymore?

“Will you ever be able to forgive me?“ “I don’t know, Kiseok.“ “Do you still have feelings for me?“

Wow, this was a pretty long chapter! The longest yet I think? Hope it wasn’t too boring to read haha. What do you guys think? Is his mother right? Why did Christian leave so suddenly? What will Minhee's answer be? Are you Team Kiseok or Team Christian? Looking forward to reading your comments! :) And I hope you all are staying healthy!

#christian yu #christian yu scenarios #khh imagines #christian yu imagines #khh scenarios #dpr scenarios #dpr imagines #getting off the wrong foot

176 notes · View notes

starr-fall-knight-rise · 5 years ago

Text

Humans are Space Orcs, Mockingbird.”

Based on a request I received in my asks for some fluff. I think you guys will like it, or at least I hope you do :)

He couldn’t remember much of the last few days. Everything was a blur of motion, pain and dizziness. He couldn't tell if he was staying up or lying down or running in circles or spinning inside an F-90 Darkfire going nine times faster than the speed of sound. It felt like he was constantly pulling almost 9-Gs staying awake was impossible, but at the same time, so was falling asleep.

He felt horrible, sick.

He thought he remembered throwing up a few times, but he could have been wrong.

However, he did remember the aching, a pain that throbbed through his body like he had a horrible flu. His muscles ached, his bones ached, his blood might as well have ached. Everything around him echoed, the lights pulsed in and out.

He was nauseous and so very, very cold.

The shivering ache in his bones did nothing to help the horrible throbbing of his muscles, especially the muscles in his back.

He thought he heard voices a few times, mingling with the echoes and spinning with the lights over his head. The world began to spin to his left, and he tried controlling the nausea like he would in the cockpit of a jet, but for some reason all his normal tricks weren’t working. His stomach churned.

He fell in and out of consciousness.

His eyes opened and then closed. He was on his side, or at least he thought he was. The nausea wasn’t so bad anymore, but his mouth tasted horrible.

He closed his eyes against the spinning.

He was falling backwards now.

And he was so so tired. His head was resting against something soft, now something hard. More voices echoed.

He tried to make them out, but every time he did he only felt more horrible, more nausea building up on his insides.

“Anything.” The voice faded in and out plunging downward, deepening and stretching out for long minutes forcing him to miss the rest of the conversation. He tried to open his eyes, and was almost immediately blinded. The lights above his head warped and twisted stretching one way and then flattening in the other direction.

Then it doubled and they began to dance back and forth against each other.

“Adam.”

The sound echoed in his head as if it had been yelled into a narrow canyon.

He had trouble remembering what the sounds meant.

His head was throbbing.

More lights.

He flinched away squeezing his eyes shut and immediately fell back in. The nausea overcame him again followed by the dizziness and the vertigo until he couldn’t open his eyes. He spun back and forth and back and forth his muscles aching, his body throbbing. The shivering got worse , and it wouldn’t have mattered if there were blankets or not.

He just felt so horrible.

That could have gone on for an eternity as far as he knew. An eternity of spinning, bright lights and echoing voices interspersed with uneasy moments of sleep characterized by horrific nightmares. Nightmares that contained faceless monsters, strange alien creatures and his own inevitable failure.

And then he fell asleep, finally.

It started off in small bouts of silent restfulness, a deep and soothing darkness that relaxed his body and calmed his mind. When he floated towards the surface, almost awake, he could hear voices, and thought that he could at least understand them.

“How is he today, doc?”

“He’s doing better, sleeping more. The drugs took a real toll on his system. I doubt the admiral was entirely correct about what exactly was in those drugs.”

“He’s lucky to have you. He wouldn’t have survived the overdose otherwise.”

And then he was gone again, sinking back down,

He would have had no way of knowing how long he was out, and when he woke up again, just a little clearer than last time, he heard.

“Why not a medically induced coma, at least then he wouldn’t be in pain.”

“I determined that this was the safer decision in the state he is in. Don’t worry, things are slowly getting easier. He’s sleeping hours at a time now.”

Another voice, “no more vomiting, though that may be just because he’s running on empty.”

He let himself sink away this time, finding that he was getting better at controlling it. He stayed longer this time, curled up in the safety of the darkness where it was warm, and pain free. However, this time he was woken up by a voice.

“Dr. Katie thinks you might be able to hear us. Says you sort of drift in and out.” Though the ache in his body was still there the familiarity of the voice eased his mind, “It was…. An honor to fight with you. I only wish it could have been under better circumstances..” A hand rested on his upper arm, “For a human, you make a pretty good Drev.”

Something warm touched his hand, or at least he thought it was his hand. When it pulled away his hand was wet.

“Waffles misses you. We haven’t been able to move her without her getting really agitated.” Something soft caressed against his fingers, a soft whimpering pulsing through the air. Soft waves of air to caress his ears.

He tried to open his eyes, but the dizziness hit him again and, suddenly, he could hardly function. He sunk away again occasionally aware of a furry, warm snout nudging his hand as he slept.

“Hey, Commander…. Adam. yeah anyway, Sunny thinks we should talk to you, so Mav and I are here….er Ramirez.”

“So eloquent.”

“Shut up it's not like he’s expecting a soliloquy, what do you want me to do compose shakespeare.”

“I’d Like to see that.”

“Shut up, anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted/, we are, the crew i mean, are all rooting for you, and we will be here when you’re ready to wake up. Also, please wake up, the spiderlings haven't stopped freaking out since you went under. I can’t exactly tell if they are crying or not but they are making some weird ass noises…. How about you Mav, you got anything to say?”

“Just if you don’t wake up in the next week, I am going to shake you awake and kick your bitch ass for making us wait so long. I am not a patient person.”

“As empathetic as always Mav.”

This time he felt as if he had been asleep for longer, feeling rather than hearing people pass through. He recognizes some return offenders, though some of them were there for a purpose.

“You know, Comm- I mean, Adam. Sometimes I blame you for making me more human. You took away one of the things that made my life easy, and then you gave me empathy. Now I, well having my friends gone hurts. It doesn’t make any logical sense from a proper Vrul standpoint .But you made me into…. Not much of a vrul anymore . You gave me empathy, and friends, and a social life…..” silence, “And I fucking hate it…. But at the same time I don’t. You hear that, I both hate it and don’t hate it at the same time like that is possible. I’m making as much sense as a human .”

More drawn silence.

“Look, I know what you said and how you acted in the suit weren’t you, but I just….. I need….. … I need you to wake up, so I know, so I know that everything is ok between us. The anticipation is killing me more than anything.”

He felt warm inside, and the shivering was dying down. He supposed that was a good thing, and following that moment he thought he might have slept the entire night through, though he could still tell that opening his eyes was going to be a problem. When he awoke, he awoke to a melody, someone signing quietly.

He recognized it, a distant memory from and even more distant childhood.

The song must have been thousands of years old, and for that reason it was….. Sweet.

“Still gets me today that a thousand years ago someone’s mother was singing their baby to sleep with that.”

A soft hand on his.

A gentle touch at the IV in his arm, “Hope you don't mind me singing to myself, or talking. I don’t usually do it when krill is around, he wouldn’t understand. Or maybe he would, but…. It feels weird. I was pretty weird you know, never really figured out why. Guess that’s what I get for wanting to be a librarian when I was little. Became a doctor instead, “ Dr Katie laughed, “My how things change. Its honestly crazy to me you ended up with the exact job you wanted….. Bet you didn’t think it would be this hard ....” She trailed off, and there was silence for a long time before she began to sing to herself again.

Her voice wove patterns through his dreams

Hush little baby don’t say a word

Moma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.

He spun slowly around and around in circles descending downward.

And if that mockingbird don’t sing

The warmth grew back up around him, enfolding him from all sides like the embracing arms of a lover.

Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.

He could have slept for days after that dreaming on and off barely knowing what was real and what was inside his head. The world didn’t spin anymore, and his body only ached slightly. The nausea was simply a general discomfort through his darkness, and he could ignore it easily enough.

“You better wake up soon. Seems like you have been in here long enough.”

Was that Conn?

Couldn’t be.

“You dirty rat bastard.” Nope that was him alright, “I expect you get out here soon….. It is rather lonely in my head….”

Other hands, other voices, other confessions, some cold some warm, felt through his insides like each person was pouring liquid of different temperatures into his blood, pumping through his chest and heart.

Eventually, the world stopped spinning completely, the echoes died away, and he was left alone in his own head finally with the ability to think consciously, as conscious as he was between bouts of sleep. The nausea was still there, but it might have been due to hunger more than anything else.

The next time he woke up, things were different. The last time it had been as if he was rising through dark water only to be separated from the surface by a pane of one way glass he couldn’t crack.

This time, the pane of glass was gone, and light and sounds poured in around him.

He first became aware of sound, the quiet muttering of conversation, the beeping of machines, and the clattering of tools. Someone was laughing distantly.

Secondly, he was aware of a weight pressed against his side. It was soft and warm, and as he lay there he felt it move. Something rested on his stomach, just under his chest. Whatever it was let off a long drawn out sigh and a yawn.

Lastly , there was light.

For a second he thought he had gone partially blind, but realized his eyes were still closed.

He stayed like that for a little bit, adjusting before.

Flexing his fingers.

And immediately noticed the absence of the steel eye armor.

The relief was incredible.

His hands were stiff, and the joints ached a little, but slowly he was able to open his hand.

Moving was harder, and it brought back the muted ache from earlier.

His fingertips brushed over sheets as his hand moved up brushing fur, and the warm muscled body underneath.

He stroked a hand through Waffle’s fur.

The lifted her head in surprise, then, with a whimper scooted forward resting her head on his chest nosing him with her snout.

He lifted his hand to stroke her ears.

She licked once as his face catching him in the jaw with her warm slimy tongue.

There was a creaking noise just to his side, “Hey, Girl, everything alright?”

The dog whimpered.

Whoever it was stood.

“Krill.”

He tried opening his eyes flooded with light before blinking. The dog whimpered again.

He turned his head from the lights trying to blink away the haze.

“Adam. Can you hear us?”

He blinked a few more times squinting against the light until the world around him slowly resolved, light fading backwards.

First, he saw the ceiling, and the overhead lights, curtain rods with the curtains pulled open, an IV bag, medical machines. Looking down he saw his own feet under blankets, and finally the warm worried eyes of his dog. The look she gave him was one of such sincere concern that, for a moment, he was worried he might be dying. Upon making eye contact she scooted even further forward resting one paw on his chest snuffling at his face and licking him across the cheek.

“Easy girl.” someone said

He turned his head a little further brows still furrowed falling on a familiar spidery form floating to the side.

“Adam?” Krill said again.

It took him a few seconds to understand turning his head to the other side where a tall blue figure was standing her gold eyes struck with worry.

He turned his head back to Krill.

“We’re good.”

The dog continued to nuzzle at him rubbing her head against his shoulder trying to get his attention. Overhead the two aliens relaxed visibly, “What was that?”’ Krill asked leaning forward to look him over.

“You wanted to know….. If we were still good…..” Trying to talk past his dry nasty tasting mouth was unpleasant. He smacked his lips, “And I wanted to say that we are.”

The relief broke even further.

Krill was speechless.

Sunny laughed in relief, or at least the equivalent for a Drev.

Dr. Katie poked her head around from the right side curtain, “You’re awake!”

He had both hands up now patting the dog’s ears as she frantically nuzzled forward tail slapping against the bed railing. His right hand was taped up, the tube of an IV sticking into his hand.

He was still very fuzzy and tired.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better than…. I was…. Before.” A light flicked from one eye to the other, and he squinted, “Hey…” Even his mechanical eye didn’t seem pleased.

“Just making sure your brain is in tact.

“It never was.” He mumbled.

The dog had her head resting on his shoulder now, “Surprised you…. Let her stay.”

“I was worried she might bite me.”

Sunny patted the dog’s back.

“Hey, Krill there are a few people at the door come to check in on the Commander.”

“Tell them to stay out. The commander needs his rest.”

Adam raised a hand, “Wait… no… it's ok.”

“You can barely string two words together.” Krill scolded

“Just five minutes and then....” His voice was slightly slurred, “And then I’ll do…. Whatever.”

“Fine, five minutes.”

He closed his eyes briefly listening as feet shuffled across the floor, and soft voices murmured up around him.

“Commander.”

He opened his eyes to see a huddle of marines standing at the end of his bed. Ramirez, Mav, CJ and a few others.

“You alright?”

“Terrific.”

“They must have you on some good drugs.”

“Actually no…. Due to the nature of his stay, he’s actually sober right now.”

The marines laughed, only to be silenced by Krill, “If that’s the case you definitely need sleep.” Ramirez patted his foot, “Don’t let us get in your way, rest, relax, do what you need to do.” They were ushered out as quickly as they had come, he was having trouble keeping his eyes open. The dog’s breath was warm against his throat from where her head rested on his shoulder.

Off in the corner he watched a set of white ribbons gently waving in the subtle air currents of the ship.”

“Welcome back,” Said a voice, unbidden inside his head.

“Bitch.” he thought.

“Dumbass.” Came the reply

He leaned his head back the pillow cool and soothing against his aching neck. He reached up a hand absently letting it hang in the air until something took it. Sunny’s skin was warm compared to his own.

His head lolled sideways.

And he was gone.

449 notes · View notes

massivelycreepypineapple · 5 years ago

Text

Kick Butt While Falling In Love

Pairing: Surgeon!Jensen Ackles x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N is Dr. Ackles’ patient. They meet during her chemo sessions and become close friends and eventually more.

Requested by a lovely anon (I hope you enjoy this and found the plot alright!): Can you write more doctor Jensen Ackles? I can't think of any plot but Jensen as doctor is very attractive!❤️🙈

Warning: Sick reader, slightly angsty. pretty much it I guess.

A/N: I tried not to make any mistakes. I hope this is alright. If I made any please do let me know. I apologise for that in advance!

Word Count: 1925

Masterlist

❅ ❅ ❅

If anybody told Y/N a year ago that the hospital would practically be her second home, she’d have sent them packing with a swift kick up their butt. She hated hospitals with a steady passion and she hated doctors even more. The very thought of going to a doctor for something as small as the flu was repulsive to her. So you can imagine her horror when she was forced to go weekly for her chemotherapy sessions. But things didn’t end there. It would seem that life had a way of messing with Y/N. Not only was she forced to go to the dreaded location once a week, but she was slowly looking forward to it. And the cherry on top came in the form of a certain green eyed surgeon.

When Y/N first found out that she had a cancerous tumour growing in her, she was, like anyone else, in great shock and pain. She didn’t have anyone in her life. She became an orphan at the age of 16 and foster care didn’t last long. She began to fend for herself as soon as she hit 18. She wasn’t in one place long enough to make friends either. So the thought of cancer did freak her out. She spent years learning to love her life and she didn’t want to lose that. But as the weeks went by she got used to the idea that this was her reality. And things got better when she met the man in charge of her life.

Dr. Jensen Ackles was a gem in the world of stones and that’s putting it lightly. Anyone who interacted with him loved him and those who didn’t, well, let’s just say that they sucked as human beings. He was the most beautiful and considerate man she had ever known. And as time went on, he became her best friend. She didn’t really know how that happened considering that she didn’t have any decent ones. She had colleagues who were cordial to her and that was it. She couldn’t for the life of her fathom what possessed him to become her friend. He was her doctor and the relationship should’ve ended at that. But yet here they were best friends and at the brink of something more.

Y/N remembered the first time Jensen was there for her in ways no one else had. She had just started chemotherapy and it was royally kicking her ass. She already had a minor heart condition so there were risks of heart attacks and the like due to chemo. The drugs given to her took a toll on her big time and she often found herself with her head in the toilet, leading her to lose so much weight as well as her appetite. One particular day Y/N was suffering worse than usual and her chest was aching. She remembered that Jensen had given his personal phone number in case she needed a friend. She was light headed and in pain and she decided to just take a leap of faith and call him.

-Flashback-

“Hi Y/N, is everything okay?” His deep voice came through the phone, immediately calming her a bit.

“J-Jensen I-“ She started breathing heavily.

“Y/N!! Where are you?” He asked frantically.

“H-home.” She managed to get out. She sounded breathless and weak.

“I’ll be there in 15.” He said and cut the call.

True to words, 15mins later Jensen showed up. She struggled to get to the door but managed to open it, but only to fall into his arms. He quickly picked her up and took her to the ambulance waiting outside. Y/N chuckled lightly at that. “S-so dramatic.” She said.

“You scared me, sweetheart. You didn’t sound good and I was clearly right to be scared.” He said trying to stay calm as he put her on the gurney and letting the paramedics fix her to the IV tubes. He rode with her back to the hospital and got her into the emergency room.

-Flashback End-

After everything had calmed down and her condition was brought under control, Jensen stayed beside her the entire time. He did everything to keep her fever down, brought her decent food that was easy on her stomach. He replaced the IV when the drugs were getting low. He even spent the night with her. Since then there was always something developing between them. They became close and Jensen from then on was her best friend and the love of her life (only he didn’t know it yet). He even took on an active role in making sure her chemotherapy went smoothly. He rearranged his schedule around hers. He spent time with her figuring out which medicine worked best, and stayed up with her the nights she spent in the hospital.

That’s where Y/N found herself once more. She had just finished her session for the day. Jensen was in surgery so he couldn’t keep her company like he usually did. So she got through it by listening to music and flipping through a magazine. Just as she was about to leave she got light headed and collapsed.

The nurses rushed to her and put her on a gurney trying to help her. She could barely make out what they were saying. She was in and out of consciousness.

“She’s going into a cardiac arrest. She needs surgery now!” Said one of the doctors.

“We need to page Dr. Ackles!”

“He’s in surgery!”

“Fuck! Let’s take her into the OR and get her prepped. If he isn’t there yet, we need someone else immediately.”

That was the last thing she heard before everything turned black.

__________

Y/N woke up to an insistent beeping noise. She felt something heavy on her hand and she couldn’t move. She slowly blinked her eyes and saw someone resting their head on her bed. Jensen was still in his scrubs and his hair sticking out. He looked exhausted. She gently nudged his hand that was holding hers and he jerked awake.

“Y/N!” He whispered. He quickly got up to check her vitals and began fussing over her. He brought her a cup of water and she gently took a few sips. She then finally looked at him properly and saw that his eyes were red. It looked like he had been crying.

“Jay..” She whispered softly, her throat still sore. “What happened?”

“You had a heart attack, sweetheart.”

“Oh… was it because of all the chemo?”

He nodded at that. “There was a blockage near the heart stopping the blood flow. We managed to get it out. You’re fine now, baby.” He caressed her cheek.

“The last thing I heard was that you were in surgery.”

“Yeah I was, but I was almost done. He was fine and I only needed to close him up. The interns could manage that so I rushed to you. I don’t trust anyone else with your life, baby girl.” He said closing his eyes tight.

“I’m fine Jay. You came in time and I’m fine.” Y/N comforted him.

“Y-yeah” He whispered.

“Jay, what about the tumor?”

“The drugs are working. Chemo’s doing its job and the tumor has shrunk. But we couldn’t remove it just yet. You need another course of chemo before we go in and finish the job.”

Y/N started crying “I don’t want to, It’s too much! Please don’t make me!”

Jensen’s heart broke at that and his face fell. “Y/N...please do this. I know it’s painful and exhausting, honey. But I need you to do this. I need you to get better.”

“Why?! Why does it matter so much to you?” She cried.

“Because I fucking love you!” He said

Y/N was shocked at that admission. She knew there was something there but she never in a billion years thought that he loved her like she loved him.

“I love you so much, and I need you to get better so that we can make this work and maybe live happily ever after like those books you love!” He added.

She just stared dumbly at him. She didn’t know what to say. She was afraid that she'd break his heart. She was at risk and didn’t know if she'd make it.

Her silence broke his heart further. She could see he was regretting his words. So she quickly added, “I’m only going to hurt you, Jay. We don’t know if I’ll make it.”

“You will make it, Y/N.”

“You can’t know that! You deserve someone normal. You deserve someone who is not on death’s bed. Someone who won’t remind you of work all the time. Caz that’s what I am, Jensen! I’m your patient and-” She was interrupted with his lips.

“I know you feel the same, sweetheart. You’re not just my patient. You’re the love of my life. I don’t stay up for any of my patients but you. I don’t do house calls and I sure as hell don’t give them my personal number.” He said with determination in his eyes.

Y/N looked at him wide eyed. She dared hoped that things would work out. She wanted it so badly. She reached out, despite the pain she was in and pulled him down for a fierce kiss.

“I love you too, so damn much” She said looking into his eyes.

He grinned at her and kissed her one last time before tucking her into the blankets. “Rest some, baby. We’ll figure this out ok?”

“Stay.. don’t go.”

“I have to check on the other guy, Y/N.” He said looking sadly at her. To which she nodded in understanding. “I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise. I’m taking some time off to be with you.”

“You don’t have to..”

“Shh. I want to” he said which made her smile so cutely at him.

But she became serious again, scrunching her eyebrows. “Jay...are you sure it’s going to be okay? I don’t want to die.” Y/N said with a small voice. Jensen felt his heart clench at that. He held her face in his large palms.

“Baby, you’re not going to die ok? Not if I have anything to say about it. You’re going to kick this tumour’s butt and then we’ll run off into the sunset together like a cheesy couple.”

She laughed a little at that. “Okay, I like that plan.”

“Y/N…”

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s very early but move in with me. Please?”

“Yes.”

Jensen kissed her hard and then said, “WHEN you survive this, I’m going to marry you. Don’t want to waste any time.”

“I’d like nothing more, baby” grinned Y/N with tears in her eyes.

Jensen kissed her on the forehead and turned to leave to check on the other patient.

Y/N fell asleep with a huge smile on her face. For the first time in forever she felt like everything was going to be okay. For the first time in her life she felt like she had a family even if it was just Jensen for now. Maybe they’ll make their own family. A big one too. Did she wish she had met him in better circumstances? No. This entire journey made her who she is. She’d go through it all again because the person she is today is the person who Dr. Jensen Ackles fell in love with. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

❅ ❅ ❅

TAGS BELOW

@hobby27 @akshi8278

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles x sick!reader #jensen ackles one shot #supernatural x reader #spn x reader #reader insert #female reader #jensen x reader #surgeon!jensen #spn rpf #jensen x you

127 notes · View notes

ididntneedanewfandom · 4 years ago

Text

BkDk week in collaboration with @paraniva-art !

Day 1 - sweaters Day 2 - sick Day 3 - ice skates Day 4 - scarves

and now day 5 - Sub-Zero

__________________

"I think you should sit this one out."

Izuku doesn't turn to look at Kacchan and keeps putting on his costume. He flexes his hands in his fingerless gloves, pulling them on tight.

"Did you hear me, nerd?" Kacchan asks, his voice just a tiny little bit louder but still controlled.

"I heard you," Izuku says, still not looking at him. "I'm going. And I don't want to argue about it."

He can hear Kacchan's boots on the tiled floor of the changing room, can practically feel him standing there, just behind him. It's not an effect from one of his quirks; he's just that closely attuned to Kacchan's body. He still doesn't turn around.

"Izuku." His voice is a whisper now, but the urgency behind it is still rising. "Last time--"

Izuku slams his locker shut and takes a shaky breath before finally facing Kacchan. A few years back, he used to look up at him, literally and figuratively. No more. They're eye to eye, now. Side by side. Partners in every possible way. And while he understands that Kacchan is only thinking of him, it annoys the hell out of him that he wants to protect him from this.

"Last time I still thought I could reach him," he says, and the words are as bitter as the memory that left a hand-shaped burn scar on him. "I promise you, I have no such illusions left."

Kacchan's grim expression twists into a grimace. He reaches out, lays his hand on Izuku's chest, and despite the costume, Izuku knows Kacchan's hand covers the scar almost exactly. He's always touching it, as though he could erase it with enough caresses.

"I believe you. That's exactly why I think it'd be better if you didn't come."

An announcement comes over the P.A. system before Izuku can reply; everyone going is expected outside now. They walk out together and join the rest of the raid party. In the van, Kacchan's shoulder remains pressed against Izuku's the entire time.

It's a complete and utter shit show.

Three fucking months of preparing for this. Two dozen full-fledged heroes, plus a bunch of sidekicks--no interns, though, U.A. learned from its mistakes. Hundreds of hours spent gathering intel, following leads, putting together the puzzle pieces of a chaotic organization, if they can even call it that.

And in the end...

Katsuki grits his teeth and wipes the blood sliding down the side of his face.

In the end the exact thing he wanted to avoid happens: he goes with Deku into battle, and suddenly it's just them, facing SubZero on the other side of the battle field. Judging by the grin stretching his face, a grin that doesn't extend to his mismatched eyes, he doesn't mind the confrontation like Katsuki does. Or maybe he was hoping for it.

"If I'd known you were coming tonight, I'd have baked a cake or something," he calls out over rubble covered in ice, ashes swirling around them all from where the other big fight is happening further on, blue flames rising in the distance. "Stocked on your favorite tea, Izuku-kun. Or have you finally taken a liking to coffee? I bet you've pulled some long nights, trying to track us down."

"We didn't just try," Deku replies; the idiot, he should know better than to engage. "We did track you down."

The villain they used to know as Shouto Todoroki laughs, and in the light of the moon, his hair, bleached completely white, glows almost like silver.

"Did you? Does it count as tracking us down if we let ourselves be found? If we made sure you were fed just the right information?"

Fuck. Katsuki was beginning to suspect this was the case, but to hear it confirmed...

"Deku, please stay back," he says. "Let me take the lead on this one."

A few steps ahead of him, Deku doesn't give any hint that he heard. Lightning is coursing through his body. From where he is, Katsuki can see just the beginning of black tendrils extending from his fingertips.

SubZero laughs again. "Oh, he says 'please', now? You've trained him well, Izuku-kun. Who knew all that asshole needed to learn manners was a dick up his ass?"

Small explosions pop on either side of Katsuki from his open hands and he scowls... but it's all an act. SubZero wants to rile him up, of course. Katsuki is not going to give him the pleasure, but he can use that to his advantage. If the fucker thinks he's not thinking straight, he might make a mistake.

Which might be very useful, because there goes Deku, charging into the fight with a growl that sounds like "Shouto!"

Katsuki moves instantly, and he's just half a length behind Deku, but damn it. This was not the plan.

Everything becomes a blur.

Later, Izuku will only remember bits of pieces of this fight. Words. Impacts. He'll be grateful he doesn't remember more.

Like when Shouto, after using only his ice for a few minutes, suddenly lets out a huge blast of fire with a mocking, "After all, it's my power, isn't it, Izuku-kun?"

(He keeps calling him that and it hurts, god but it hurts.)

Like when a viciously jagged lance of ice coming straight at him impales Kacchan's side instead as he shoves Izuku out of the way.

(Damn him, they've talked about this! He wasn't supposed to ever do that again!)

Like when he stands just an arm's length from Shouto, closer than he's been in years, and his first instinct is to reach out to him and beg him to stop.

(No, no, he's not making that mistake twice. Kacchan would never forgive him.)

Like when it's finally over, when Shouto, covered in ice and ashes and blood, finally surrenders, but not without a last attack. "You realize it's all your fault, right? All the people I killed? The destruction I caused? It's all. On. You."

(And Izuku knows, god, he's always known. So he says the words that burned his mind for so many years--"I'm sorry, Shouto. I really am."--and he knocks him out with a final punch.)

Katsuki wakes up in a hospital bed. The experience is more familiar than he wishes it would be, even if it's been several years since the last time.

What's just as familiar is the body ever so carefully wrapped around his own; Katsuki pities the nurse or doctor who tried to tell Deku he couldn't get in bed with him.

Familiar, also, is the way Deku's body shakes ever so lightly, the way warm tears fall on Katsuki's shoulder.

With some effort, he raises his hand, the one connected to an IV drip, and brings it over to twist his fingers in Deku's curls. Deku keeps talking about getting his hair cut really short, or maybe getting an undercut... and Katsuki keeps finding new ways to talk him out of it.

Deku raises his head at the small touch, dislodging Katsuki's hand. He rests it on Deku's shoulder instead.

"You're an idiot," are Deku's first words to him.

Katsuki grins at him. Something pulls at the skin on his cheek; looks like he's got stitches.

"Right back at you," he says, quietly because his throat is parched. His grin fades as he asks, even more softly, "Is it over?"

Deku nods solemnly. "Yeah. It's done."

His eyes fill up with tears again. Ignoring the pain in his side, Katsuki draws him closer and holds him tight. He's never going to let go.

21 notes · View notes

muwur · 5 years ago

Note

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡ “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡ “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial. You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu x reader angst #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #oikawa tooru #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader fluff #tw

66 notes · View notes

mo-nighean-rouge · 5 years ago

Photo

Gone - Epilogue

Jamie Fraser prepares to send Claire and Faith through the stones. A last-minute interference changes everything.

A/N: This is it, folks. Again, thanks to @ianmuyrray for betaing, and to all of you who have read along, or might just be starting now.

November 20, 1748 | Paris, France

“Seas, a bhailach,” Jamie whispered to the beast as he brushed its shining coat. He’d taken quickly to the horses in Mary Hawkins Randall’s stables, but the black sorrel pony had stolen his heart for its similarity in appearance and character to his own Donas.

The horse was still riled after his afternoon jaunt with Faith. The lass had more confidence than experience on horseback, and had led the horse into mischief with a puddle, even under her father’s close supervision.

Jamie had sent Murtagh upstairs to deliver a squirming and filthy Faith to Claire. In fact, it had been quite a while since, and he hoped the man was not dallying his time flirting with Suzette, who had recently come into the Randall estate’s employ.

Dubh, aptly named by Faith, huffed impatiently as Jamie recalled Grey’s promise to release Donas, Brimstone, Thistle, and Blanc within ten miles of Lallybroch.

A week after their arrival in Paris, Jenny had written of Ian’s surprise to open the front door one morn and find all four beasts grazing in the kailyard.

It warmed Jamie’s heart to imagine the sight, and made him long for home all the more.

He hadn’t long to wait, as their parole was nearly complete and they would soon see the shores of Scotland once again. Much as he was willing to sacrifice the sight to see to his family’s safety, he was looking forward to leaving the confines of the city.

Jamie figured it couldn’t come at a better time. While Mistress Randall had welcomed their company in the lonesome and overwhelming time she had found herself, she had recently made a good match. According to Claire’s account, Robert Isaacs made Mary very happy, and the engaged couple were looking forward to staffing their well-established estate.

So long as the bairn arrived safely within the next few weeks, the Fraser family would stay whole and make it back to their homeland. Jamie couldn’t wait to re-introduce his children to Lallybroch, and most of all, watch the years touch Claire…

Jamie’s thoughts were interrupted by the swift re-entry of Murtagh, balancing Faith on his shoulders. While the lass wore a fresh dress, her face had only been wiped quickly, still smudged with streaks of dirt.

Murtagh grinned. “Ye’re needed upstairs, a charaid. The bairn seems to be comin’ quick, and Claire’s asking fer ye.” He bounced Faith once, and she broke into giggles.

Jamie dropped the brush and let it clatter to the stable floor. He wasn’t sure he could keep his jaw from doing the same. “Ah dhia, she’s laboring now?”

“Aye lad, get tae it. Ye don’ want to miss the birth of your son.”

Jamie nodded, clapping his godfather on the shoulder. He felt his eyes mist over as he studied the man that has served his family since before he was born.

“Ye have the bairns? The others?” he asked, stammering, his mind rushing to catch up.

“O’ course, just fetch us when ye’re ready.”

“Thank you, a ghostidh… for everything.”

“Och,” Murtagh exclaimed. “Dinna get soft on me now. Go see yer lady.”

Jamie raced out of the barn, heart hammering. That she be safe, she and the bairn...

“Da!” Fergus called in the corridor, the lad balancing a stack of clean rags from the kitchen. Jamie stopped short to gasp for breath.

The lad had called him such by a slip of the tongue during their first weeks back in Paris – so used to hearing Faith use the precious word – then had immediately blushed scarlet.

Jamie had simply clasped his shoulder and returned with a simple “Aye, mon fils?” as he had called the boy for more than a year.

Fergus had cautiously tested the word ‘Mama’ out on Claire not long after, bringing her to tears as her heart soared.

“You heard about Mama?” Fergus exclaimed, rocking back on his heels in his excitement.

“Aye,” Jamie cracked a smile. “Gi’ those here, I’ll take them on my way. I’d like ye to bide in the barn with Murtagh.”

The lad’s face fell. “But if Mama needs me –”

“Dinna fash about yer mam. Faith needs ye.”

Fergus brightened. “You can count on me, Da.”

Jamie concentrated on the soft weave of the old towels in his hands as he mounted the stairs two at a time, eager to reach his wife. In his hurry, he tripped over the blonde porcelain doll that had been cast aside and forgotten earlier. He shuddered. Annalise had once gifted the toy to his daughter, and its resemblance to the woman herself was that bit frightening.

He burst through their bedroom door, nearly plowing over Mary, who was setting water to boil as if she were lady’s maid to Claire, rather than the other way around.

“Apologies, Mistress,” he murmured, grasping her elbows to keep her upright.

“Jamie!” she exclaimed, squeezing his arm. “You’re just in time.”

He was careful as he squeezed back, unsure of the strength of his grip, especially as his eyes landed on Claire with her face red and scrunched in pain, breathing rhythmically at the gentle direction of Mother Hildegard. Her eyes popped open to meet his, relief swelling in their whisky depths.

Jamie crossed the room in four steps, his hand finding Claire’s naturally as he knelt to kiss the old woman’s wrinkled cheek. “Good afternoon to ye, Mother.” Mary had housed the nun in one of her many guestrooms for the past week, well aware that Claire’s time was quickly approaching.

He brought Claire’s warm, sweaty hand to his lips as he kneeled behind her stool, content for her to use him in any way she wished. He’d missed the birth of their first child, and had since sworn she’d never go through the experience alone again.

Just then, Claire braced her back against Jamie as she wailed in pain. Her short fingernails scored Jamie’s palms as the contraction crested and she breathed out deeply.

“That’s a braw lass, a ghraidh,” Jamie whispered, placing a kiss on her shoulder and caressing the swell of her belly.

Several sharp contractions later, Mother Hildegard continued softly coaching at Claire’s knee. “Keep breathing, my child. I can almost see the head.”

“Jamie,” Claire croaked, short of breath. “If anything happens…” she whispered, just as the powerful force overtook her body once again and she screamed.

“I willna hear that talk, Claire,” he answered sternly, massaging her lower back.

“Push, Claire.” Mother Hildegard’s voice rose above the noise of the room.

Jamie felt Claire inhale deeply once more, then gather her strength from him for the task ahead.

________________________________________

Claire smiled through her tears, admiring the little one cradled in her arms. Mary had bathed the baby as Claire delivered the afterbirth, then passed their blessing swiftly to Jamie, who had admired the sight with flooded eyes until tiny lips had begun rooting around for sustenance.

Their newest child had latched on with impressive speed and skill, inspiring jokes about Jamie’s own appetite.

The man himself eased carefully to Claire’s side, placing a steady arm around her and pressing his face into her neck, just watching her sustain the new life.

Little brown eyes popped open as the meal ended, searching for something familiar in their new surroundings.

“Hello, baby boy,” she cooed. While the lad’s red fuzz stood out starkly from the moment he appeared, she was thrilled to find something of herself in him.

Jamie reached over her shoulder to brush the boy’s diminutive cheek with his broad thumb. “He’s a braw lad, Sassenach.” He kissed her hair. “Thank ye for our son.”

Claire grasped the hand he had left on her shoulder, swaying gently with the baby. “He’s just as much a gift from you to me. We’re so lucky to have him, all of them.”

A gentle knock sounded from the door, followed by Mary peering around the corner, her own wee Denys at her heels. “Ready for some introductions?” she asked softly.

Claire sniffled and wiped her eyes. “Please, bring them in.”

“Mama!” Faith scrambled in, dragging Murtagh behind her. She approached the bedside slowly, trying to catch a glimpse of the bundle in Claire’s lap.

Jamie stood to give her a boost upward, settling their daughter between them easily. “What do ye think, a chuisle?”

“So bonny!” Faith whispered, reaching to grasp Claire’s free hand. “Ye did it all by yerself, Mama?”

Jamie chuckled. “She did, lass. Wasn’t that canny of your mam?”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Da cheered me on.” She squeezed Faith’s hand. “I’m glad you like him, Lovey.”

Murtagh slapped Jamie’s shoulder before leaning over to pat Claire’s. “A wee lad, then?”

“Mmmph,” Jamie replied, grinning widely.

Fergus appeared in the open doorway. “Look who is up from her nap!” Holding tight to his hand was a toddler with red hair already trailing halfway down her back, rubbing her eye with her free hand.

She perked up at the sight of her parents, dashing to the bedside and slamming into Murtagh’s knees. He scooped her up swiftly, depositing her on the mattress knees first. She scrambled closer to Claire’s knee, looming over little brother.

“It’s the bairn?!” she squealed, bouncing in place.

“Gentle, Bree.” Faith scolded. “He’s still wee, see?”

“Sae wee,” Brianna whispered reverently.

Jamie chuckled. “You were this size once too, a nighean ruaidh.”

“And you were even smaller,” Claire added, tickling Faith’s chin.

The girls exchanged dubious looks.

“Nah.”

“Canna be!”

Fergus stopped next to Claire. “How do you feel, Mama?”

Claire’s heart warmed for the son of her heart. He’d offered to wait on her hand and foot these last few weeks, to the point that she’d laughed and told him to take a rest for himself.

Claire leaned her head against him as his arms folded carefully around her neck. “Just fine, my love. Would you like to hold him?”

Fergus nodded, his eyes wide.

Claire eased the baby into his arms, reminding him to be gentle of his head and neck. She welcomed Bree into her arms not a moment later, smoothing hair out of her blue eyes.

Murtagh cleared his throat, ineffectively covering his emotions. “So who do we have here?

Claire met Jamie’s twinkling eye, nodding her approval.

“This is Robert Franklin Murtagh William Fraser.” He swallowed deeply. “Our second son.”

Murtagh’s bushy eyebrow had creased at the second of the boy’s names, but he stood visibly straighter at the third. “’Tis a fine name.”

“That’s so many,” Bree stage-whispered, to the amusement of everyone else.

Faith rolled her eyes dramatically. “No more than you, Brianna Ellen Claire Jan-dit Fraser,” she taunted.

“Alright,” Claire sighed. “The lot of you all have as many names as the others. It’s certainly not a competition.”

Jamie chuckled. “That’s enough o’ that. Stop bouncing. We should let your mam get some rest.”

The children each kissed their mother’s cheek, then let their father herd them out the door as he cradled wee Rob to his chest.

Claire watched them file out the door one by one, each stopping for one more glimpse of her and the baby. She waved at them fondly, blowing kisses. Before Jamie could follow them into the corridor, she caught his hand.

“Stay?” she asked him.

“Aye.” A smile tickled his lips. “I willna go far.”

Claire patted the empty space next to her. “Here.”

He turned, then folded her into his side carefully.

She rested her chin on his shoulder, watching their son sleep until her own eyes drifted shut, a promise of their life together, and their family’s to come.

April 17, 1967 | Oxford, England

Professor Roger MacKenzie Wakefield shuffled through the ever-growing piles of paper crowding his office desk. Amid his lesson plans, papers still to grade, and disorganized files, he’d be surprised if he set off for home in time for supper.

Even still, his curiosity overwhelmed him as he broke the seal on an envelope of research left for him by his colleague. Ever since he was a boy, fascinated by the solemn disappearance of Claire Randall, he had pieced together clues about her whereabouts with the help of his beloved uncle. Her husband’s death last year had only energized his search. Perhaps if he could find answers at long last, it would bring meaning to the most discouraging period of Frank’s life.

More and more, the evidence had begun to point toward something not of this world, much as Mrs. Graham had insisted over the years. He retrieved the file that he had been accumulating for decades, thumbing through what he already knew. The marriage certificate for one James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp, the Deed of Sassine willing the Lallybroch Estate to a James Murray, and a curious pamphlet of medical advice attributed to a C.E.B.R. Fraser.

Roger dumped the new stack of documents on top of the current chaos. The top sheet caught his eye, heart skipping a beat as he read the photocopied print dated from the 1770s, with only the last digit smudged:

"It is with grief that the news is received of the deaths by fire of JAMES MACKENZIE FRASER and his wife, MISTRESS CLAIRE BEAUCHAMP FRASER, in a conflagaration that destroyed several crofts on the estate of Broch Tuarach. Their five children: FERGUS CLAUDEL, FAITH GLENNA, BRIANNA ELLEN, ROBERT FRANKLIN, AND JULIA ELIZABETH, also perished and now lay at rest with them."

Roger shook his head and blinked. Once. Twice. All the hope and warm imaginings he held for the kind woman that he was almost sure he remembered, all for them to be dashed with one headline bearing tragedy.

If there was something, anything, he could do for her and her family, he would in a heartbeat.

He stilled, skin tingling. Christ, but who was to say there wasn’t…

FIN

*Note: The obit is adapted from a screenshot of the news clipping from Outlander Season 4, all credit due.

#Jamie Fraser #Claire Beauchamp #Faith Fraser #Brianna Fraser #Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser #Fergus Fraser #Roger MacKenzie #Gone #Canon Divergence au #Outlander #Outlander fanfic #my fic

71 notes · View notes