#its just so fucking stupid and a majority of the theatre department was having a shit day and it's no wonder why our director took the day

[frazelforever]

thank you <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

today has sucked, there's been too much stress going around and it won't be going away for a bit

[mulderspice]

have you ever watched an episode of the Emmy award winning sci-fi drama, The X Files?  Maybe you’ve read my original post and yet you’re still wondering where the hell Fox Mulder got all those strands of hair on his jumbo gigantic head.  I am back and here to help you find the answers to some of your burning questions; as we celebrate the hard work and triumphs of the hair and makeup department on the Fox Lot and team up with my big huge brain and my New York State Cosmetology license to give the people what they want once again: another top ten guide to Mulder’s fucking hair..

upon making this post a second time (rip 😔), I realized that just about every episode (yes, every. single. one. even the ones without Mulder and the latest season where he has to share headspace with [redacted]) has its own important and iconic hair looks... You may recognize that some of these are slightly repeated from the last post but that’s ok! What I'm here to do is enforce! So lets get started..

#10 s6:e21 Field Trip: Here again we begin our journey into cosmetic superstardom with a personal favorite of mine.  Mulder rolling with the times by getting a haircut fresh off the FTF wave left our nation in fucking shambles. Can’t imagine going to see a major motion picture in theatres jam packed with Mulder’s most supreme hair looks only to come back to my tv screen to see it all gone away.  For students reading this post for educational purposes, this caused a worldwide walkout on popular salon franchise Supercuts in the year 1998.  However, a haircut didn’t necessarily mean Mulder forgot how to take care of his hair.  The precision and placement as each strand of hair perfectly outlines his jumbo head is revolutionary and inspiring.  Mushroom induced drug high? K. Lemme still grab my teasing comb and my hairspray and make sure I look presentable for when my partner walks into my apartment screaming abt “where's Mulder” and wanting “answers”.  The answer is this: this look is about giving people like myself with big heads rights and looking fuckable while doing so. 10/10 for inspiring hope.

#9 s1:e9 Space: Imagine you’re a few episodes into a show, the core plot is developing right before your eyes and you’re beginning to get to know The X Files three main characters; Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Mulder Hair Strands #1-3.  All is well except, you still have no clue how crucial, and critical Mulder Hair Strands 1-3 will become to the show and to your life and I am here to tell you that you are in for a very rude and bold awakening.  This message goes out to all the haters and all the people who didn’t believe Mulder’s hair was valid prior to season 4. He is here to tell you he DID know how to use dry shampoo and even the occasional blow dry oil and you can suck a dick abt it. Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t pull the round brush and the biosilk out the drawer to impress a visit to fucking NASA. 10/10 for involving science.

#8 s4:e6 Sanguinarium: I sit here writing to you today as the song ‘Handmade Heaven’ comes on shuffle; strikingly fitting for this raw and ethereal image of straight up beauty and wonder and magic and heaven in hair. This special, freshly washed and air dried smells like strawberries and sandalwood and fuckability. The look reaches through your TV and wraps its hands around your neck and sucks the life right out of you.  Are you gonna let it happen? You sure are.  Lucky for you, I just so happened to be there when the angels hand sewed each strand of hair onto his head and here’s what they had to say about it:  this is everything and more and the way Mulder has just washed his hair with fresh mountain water droplets hand collected like nothing else mattered. Put his clothes back on and went on his merry way. Can’t imagine being in Scully’s shoes ready to walk on in her partners room unannounced to go over serious case related matters and theories.  Woulda went bonkers. This truly is a handmade heaven.  Hand crafted by Mulder for Scully and for the good viewers of the globe. 10/10 for embracing me in its arms.

#7 s4:e3 Home: A look from one of primetime TV’s most notorious banned episodes.  Viewer discretion IS advised not only for the horrifying and cringeworthy content displayed in this episode, but for also making it painfully blunt to the viewer that Mulder’s hair follicles are happier and healthier than anybody else's will ever be in their lifetime.  In fact, I can feel my own hair falling out and being respawned onto HIS head as I type this and I’m sure you can too. The way the sun glistens off his golden brown strands makes me want to walk into oncoming traffic.  You might also notice how effortless this look was, as it probably only took a quick run thru with his fingers, and Mulder’s passion and need to look sexy at any time of the day at all times. It’s obvious that this kind of thing comes naturally to him, which just comes off as insulting to men everywhere. 11/10 for striking fear into men’s hearts.

#6 s4:e20 Small Potatoes: Genuinely took every bone and nerve ending in my body to not put this look in the top 5 even though it so clearly deserves it.  Here at mulderspice we believe in diversity, meaning it wouldn’t be right to make my top five greatest hairstyles ever produced on The X Files just of Mulder’s iconic and revolutionizing middle part (though really who is stopping me..). This screenshot in general has me up in arms at how perfectly the blue background matches his eyes, and how it accentuates his hydrated skin and lips.  But you’re not here for that. It’s the hair particularly that really pulls the shot together, as Mulder took the time that morning to spray it with some tinted dry shampoo that most defiantly and absolutely smells like chocolate.   This look feels like a warm hug on a frigid winter day. I feel EMBRACED and I feel CARED FOR thanks to the wonderful staff and team @ Mulder’s head and hair follicles. What the fuck could be better than this. 16/10 for making me feel some type of way.

#5 s4:e8 Tunguska: Currently you may not think anything of Krycek to the left of this image though ill have you know he plays an extremely vital part of this look and all the words I’m about to speak to you directly. So listen up: Krycek may have heroically slayed Mulder’s father in cold blooded and justifiable murder, but we thank him for this, as it caused Mulder to lash out in the best way possible: through looks. “Un-shun: Krycek do you think I’m good to bring my Redkin Rewind 6 styling paste with me or will the Russian TSA think of that as contraband? :Re-shun”.  A sweaty, manly and highly illegal treck through a Russian testing facility and a stint in a violent foreign PRISON surely was not going to stop Mulder from keeping his hair properly hydrated, styled and parted. That’ll really ruffle Krycek’s feathers and make him feel sorry for what he did…. The sexiest way to avenge the death of your deadbeat father. 24/10 for you know why.

#4 s1:e6 Shadows: In the year 1993, Mulder steps onto the scene, young, fresh faced, bright eyed and ready to give men around the globe what they (so desperately) needed: the encouragement to care about their hair.  Any backstreet boy you may know have this scene to thank directly, as this is what encouraged them to reproduce Mulder’s hair onto their own heads time and time again.  What I would give to see with my own eyes Mulder length times width times height his head to equal this perfectly proportionate look of volume and sexy. And who can I write a warrant out to for allowing this shot to take place.  Oh to be the various and expensive hair care products in Mulder’s bathroom …… 899/10 for starting a movement (-1 for making us do equations).

#3: s1:e10 Fallen Angel: The biggest regret I’ve ever had in my short little life was not adding this moment to the last post.  And tumblr deleted it in order to give me this opportunity to present this to you today.  By the way, that absolutely is in fact a choir of angels singing as you view this image. Go ahead and try to think of something on this earth that could be better than this tossled bed headed im-stressed-becos-my-partner-of-2-weeks-isn’t-seeing-the-big-picture-about-how-we’re-all-key-pawns-in-an-ongoing-government-conspiracy hairstyle hand crafted by Mulder all while holding his head in his hands hard at work trying to break through to the truth.  Scully [insert photo of Scully with her eyes popping out of her head here] and I both wanna rip our own hair out and throw it in the garbage. 2000/10 for making our hearts ache..

#2: s4:e10 Paper Hearts: Behold- the image I’m slamming down on the desk at full force when I finally get myself a therapist. I need a licensed professional doctor to help me understand the various angles that this purposeful shot affects my life health and well being. In a paranoia induced out of body experience Mulder took his pinky finger and parted his hair down the middle, took a protractor to perfectly round the tendrils falling ever so gracefully on his forehead and ran out of his apartment and through the woods of DC.  Doesn’t matter if he’s crazy? Doesn’t matter if its fuck all 4am? Who knows if the discoveries of this night is finally going to answer the heartbreaking questions regarding Mulder’s baby sister? Fuck it we’re just gonna make sure Scully has something to look forward to after being awoken yet again in the middle of the night and asked to come wrangle and control this stupid idiot.  This just makes me unhinged.  50000/10 for waking up in the middle of the night and doing the most for us all.  

#1 s4:e3 Teliko: This one will remain number one for as long as I shall live.  I’ve dedicated my life to this cause and I’m ready to make you painfully aware of it. Grab a pen and paper and get ready to do some heavy math with me because this look right in front of your eyes is the equation to happiness and sexiness. Can barely find the words to describe to you how this picture makes me feel. Each strand of hair is personally reaching down and wrapping his head in one big giant hug of protection and solitude.  Unbelievable that Scully didn’t head back to her hotel room and scream at the top of her lungs right after this. There’s no way she went about her day as normal without wanting to kick the shit out of him and then put him back together with soft feathery kisses.  What you are witnessing here is the very turning point of the show where Scully looked into into the very center point of that part and said “guess I have no choice but to fall in love with him 🚶🏽‍♂️”. Chris Carter’s idealistic version of Mulder and the one we actually ended ups seeing as viewers were so drastically different that it’s blatantly clear that he had absolutely no idea the cultural implications that were about to rock the world to its core and tip it on its axis when David Duchovny showed up on set looking like this. I could write a thesis about this. I could conduct research and studies about this.  I got kicked out of college because I cared more about this than I did actual schoolwork. I feel like I’m in a very sexy chokehold. Wish I could live forever in one little square pixel of this image.  Nothing means more to me than this.  1000000/10 no further comments.

and the honorable mentions go to....

s8:e16 Three Words: Dead? Did you die? Did you die and miraculously defy god by rising from the dead and coming back to life? Just got home from the morgue? Think nothing is the same? Left guessing if you’re a soon to be 5 minute father? Did you just fucking die? He’s lost his family and his job and the world just went on without him like it was nobody’s business.  Walked out of the morgue right to his apartment and what did he have left? His expensive array of hair styling and finishing products that’s what the fuck he had left.  Being an all around reject from society didn’t at all stop him from taking his fingers and dipping it into that Big Sexy styling pomade and fluffing his head to high heavens. As a personal fuck you to god and to John Doggett too.  He’ll never let you know the emotional hellstorm going on in his life in that moment but he WILL make it known to you that despite being 8 feet under ground for 6 months he’ll never give up on his hair. For the PEOPLE. Try and go through the nightmare of death and then rejected fatherhood and see if you come out of it with any hair at ALL.  An itty bitty glimpse into what would have been Untitled Mulder Abduction Story (2001)....

I Want To Believe (2008): Here you will see the sluttiest moment in major motion picture history.  Shh im not using this opportunity to show you this screenshot for the 800th time I’m trying to keep you educated.  BREAKING NEWS; Man hiding in home office for 6 years fully off the grid has FULL head of hair and is getting regular sex *not clickbait*. So what if Mulder has gone fully unhinged and off the walls bonkers he’s also gone FULL slut and it shows in that sexy thick voluminous head of slut hair.  If you ever for a second thought prior to seeing this movie for the first time that Mulder would show up a full on son-less wreck and a half think the fuck again babes.  He’s managed to hold on to every single little strand ever grown on his head even well into his middle aged madness and its about time we give him the credit he deserves.  (PS. Please know I wrote this entire spiel without even viewing the shot shown here. Its just permanently etched on the inside of my forehead so its there when my eyes roll back into my head.)  For this we say…..; Whore rights.

s11:e3 Plus One: Incase you were unaware, I have been going through a very slow and painful process of erasing Season 11 from my brain completely.  Its been a long road but its achievable and the end result will save me from a lot of future heartache and trauma.  This however, is a moment I will cherish forever and though you may think its for the hot sex (which is like maybe 30% the case) its actually because it puts together everything I’ve ever loved and believed about the show in only a few thousand pixels. How old is Mulder here? 30? 31? Still has hair and still has an unbelievable amount of love to shower Scully in for as long as they both shall live (which lets face it, she deserves one million times over.)  What this has taught me was to hang up my “Mulder deserved…” hat for good and just be thankful for what I’ve got. I ended up with no son or happy dreamy ending where Mulder gets to die with a family he’s never had in his life, but here we are left with the little things.. Like Mulder and Scully’s unconditional love and most importantly .. The hair on Mulder’s head. Its called growth and acceptance and I am learning it.  Also I just wanted to show you what it would look like if you were like 57 and sexy and still had all ur hair. That’s it :-)

[acrobaticcatfeline]

The Fear of the Dragon Witch (triplets rolorem) Chapter One!!!!!

Word Count: 2762

TW: remus, deceit, swearing, sibling rivalry, I projected on Roman so anxiety, I think that’s it, let me know if I missed anything!!!

Notes: Well it’s not posted when I said it was, but you know I got distracted so here it is, have the triplets fic we’ve all been waiting for!!! Hope you enjoy!!!

Pairings: side logicality, possibly more in the future.

Summary: “you are the absolute worst!” Roman had a hectic life, he had a full time job basically in theatre, honors classes, major anxiety and ADHD. Oh. And he had two brothers who were minutes apart from him in age. As you could guess, high school is a bit stressful.

“you are the absolute worst!”

Roman sat on the ground beside a chair that now seated his brother who just smirked down at him. He begrudgingly stood up and looked at his other brother who was watching with calculated indifference. He pouted and went to sit on the other chair, just to fall on his ass again. His cocky brother let out a delighted cackle and he finally sat in the stupid chair before he could recover.

“you’re an obnoxious haughty jackass and I hope that you choke on deodorant.”

“wow that’s creative baby bro! oh we’re so pwoud of youuu!”

“fuck off! I’m literally a minute younger than you!”

“you two act like toddlers. Hurry up, we have to get going, I don’t want to be late.”

“I don’t wanna be late… blah blah rant rant dick joke”

“Remus I’m going to literally drag you out of the door don’t test me.”

“do it you won’t no balls”

Remus very much regretted the next two minutes as he was, literally, dragged out of the house by his ears. Roman also felt secondhand regret as he had to rush even faster to finish getting ready. He ran out the door, locking it behind him, and jumped into the car. He grinned at the fact that he automatically won shotgun because he wasn’t mouthing off to Logan. He settled as Logan started driving, fussing with his hair in the mirror, before pulling on his Once beanie. He futzed around with it until it looked right and then stimmed with the hem of his Rent shirt, humming the song his shirt referenced quietly. He shook his shoulders trying to adjust his jacket without using his hands. Regardless of what it said he was not succeeding at being more ‘chill’. He was what would have happened if you asked a witch to fill a doll with anxiety and excessive amounts of energy with no coping mechanisms left to spare. Oh, and a love of the arts. He sure did love the arts.

“Ro, take this.”

Logan had handed Roman a small box, and Roman looked at him for a moment before opening it. In the box was a Maui hook on a cord, a spinner ring with a bird flying on it, and a fidget spinner designed like captain Americas shield. He smiled then looked at Logan a bit confused.

“why are you giving me this?”

“because you keep ripping your shirts when you play with them. That shirt was expensive, I’d like it to last. They’re stim toys, a spinner ring, a spinner, and a chew necklace. They’re silent and not destructive, I thought it might help.”

“…did you get this yourself?”

“mhmm. Saw them at the mall after work. Why?”

“its nothing, just… you didn’t have to get these for me lo. You should save your money; I know these aren’t cheap.”

“I think you forget that the whole reason I have the job I do is to buy you guys gifts. Mom and Mimi have the whole money thing handled.”

“yeah but-”

“Roman I love you, shut up and let me ok?”

“…ok”

“you guys are gross”

“and you act 5, what’s your point goblin”

When they got to school they all went their separate ways quickly, Roman giving Logan a brief hug before running off. Logan didn’t have to walk far to bump into his best friend Virgil and his significant other Patton. He glanced briefly at the chain around Patton’s neck and smiled seeing they were using their pronoun necklace. He laced his hand with Patton’s, bringing it up to place a kiss on it then went back to idly swinging. He let out a soft complement for Patton’s dress then started chatting with his two friends about last nights assignments.

Remus on the other hand found his friends still stalling in the parking lot, waiting for him. He wandered over with a grin on his face, glancing as Damián leaned on his motorcycle while talking to Remy. When he was close enough, Damián, Remy, and his brother Toby all gave him a smile. Damian threw out a bland shallow insult then kicked Remy before urging all of them to follow him to class.

Roman had to trek across campus to meet up with his friends. He had made a b-line to the drama room, grinning wide as he saw his favorite people doing one thing or another on stage. He saw Valerie swaying around mid-stage with a broom, singing quietly in a voice that was beyond rehearsed, Joan, who was fidgeting with some of the wires on the walls, their SO Talyn sitting nearby and humming a tune, and he saw Terrance, standing on some of the set pieces, fixing up other pieces, all while singing wonderfully to one of the songs from the upcoming musical.

He climbed up the stage offering hellos to everyone and making his way to the ladder center stage, climbing up to adjust the cording for the hook that hung there for a yet to be finished prop. After fully fixing it, he descended and went to the prop corner where all the props, finished or not, sat. He grabbed the giant moon and three different cans of paint and his personal paintbrush set and started coating the crescent with the scattered look of craters with the occasional splash of pure white accenting the light blues and grays and the dark blacks that formed shadows. After about 10 minutes, he heard the backstage door clatter open and he smiled. He turned his head with the rest of them, their eyes all landing on Mr. Sanders who had two drink holders and a donut crate. He smiled back and lifted his arms carefully. Then set everything down on the table near the door.

“coffee and donuts anyone?”

Everyone walked over in time, to grab their coffee and their donut, knowing exactly which one was theirs before walking over. When Roman finally got up from his project and got his, he grabbed the one in the holder with nothing else, separate due to its contents, and grabbed the Boston crème donut. He took a taste of his drink and smiled; Starbucks had some amazing hot chocolate. He sat back down next to his project and set down his drink, quickly snatching up the blow-dryer to speed up the paints setting process.

The five of them were always there in the mornings, they were in fact, trusted with their own sets of keys for the theater and the smaller classroom adjacent. Well technically 4, as Talyn wasn’t actually in the class, but they were consistently there, and was always helping when they could spare the time. They helped before and after school, and they held lunch meetings every day, which would eventually devolve from Important Drama Class Discussion to gossip circle. They would pop by in between classes to see if they could help, they would create sets like magic, not there the day before and completed by the end of the next, they were the committee that helped Mr. Sanders choose the musical for the quarter, they helped grade, they did everything a TA did and more without being asked and without having a TA credit.

The four students all took at least two different classes with Mr. sanders and also had leading roles in their departments. Roman and Joan both lead tech, Joan being the stage manager and Roman being the assistant stage manager, and Valerie and Terrance would aid there if they didn’t always have a spot in the musical productions. Most of the time the two of them would sit and run lines for hours at a times, and often Mr. sanders would join them, taking the parts of the other characters they weren’t playing. They had a class with just the four of them, and then Valerie and Terrance had an acting specific class, where Joan and Roman shared a technical class as well as a stage prep class.

Roman didn’t know how the others had time to do all of it, since they all had super intense classes outside of theatre and jobs on top of it all. He didn’t have a job, he had accelerated in middle school, so he was two years ahead in English and math, and a completed second language course, and he had finished his last math credit the year before, leaving him with world history, biology, and a senior level English course, he also had a dance class, but nobody was going to talk about that. He wore a face mask in that class and had the teacher call him a different name because he was embarrassed about it. He was sure if anyone saw him doing ballet that his life would be over. Not even his brothers knew, his moms did though, and they were very supportive. That was completely irrelevant.

The others had just left to help Thomas-Mr. sanders! Get something from his car, leaving him to his devices. He stood up, hot chocolate in one hand, a broom in the other and he started to sing to himself, dancing about the stage with eyes closed in bliss.

“Babe, there’s something tragic about you Something so magic about you Don’t you agree? Babe, there’s something lonesome about you Something so wholesome about you Get closer to me No tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony No ‘who cares’, no vacant stares, no time for me”

While he sung, he spun around and around, oblivious to the world, even the loud clanking of the door opening. He got louder, more confidant, he leapt over the obstacles he knew were there, as if his eyes weren’t shut and he was aware. Valerie and Joan had pulled out their phones, quickly starting a video, not moving other than to let their teacher get a better look. Roman sung with a deep emotion and a vibrato deep in his chest, having perfect form in his singing as well as with his dancing. His falsetto rang out just as strong and he just continued to dance and sing.

“Honey, you’re familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door”

And then his eyes opened, and he was glad he had drained his cup because it flew out of his hands as did the broom as the calm bliss drained from his features and filled back up with panic and fear. He pressed to his chest, blindly checking for his book bag, backing up slowly before turning and leaping off the stage and running out the doors, the screams from his friends and teacher calling for him going silent in his ears as the only thing he heard was the blood pumping through his head. He hid in the bathroom stalls, sending a text to Logan.

‘Help help Logan I can’t breathe I’m in the bathroom next to the theater please I can’t I can’t breathe’ it had an immediate response, shorter than most his texts ever are, a simple ‘omw’ shot back seconds later, and within 5 minutes he heard the door open and Logan call his name. By then he had been chewing on his new necklace obsessively, and when Logan called for him, he scrambled up and out, throwing himself into his brothers’ arms. Logan held him protectively, calmly waiting for the sobs to quiet. Eventually they did and Logan pulled back to look at Roman properly. Roman’s hair looked stressed and messed up almost beyond repair and his beanie was pulled lower than normal. He frowned.

“Roman what happened?”

“it-its nothin, its real- it’s really dumb I should- I should just suck-suck it-suck it up, it doesn’t ma-matter I’m sorr- I’m sorry lo I just- I just-”

“Roman breathe. Breathe first. I’m sure its not dumb if it caused this ok? Just breathe and explain when you can.”

“o-okay. …they saw- they saw me singing. And-and dancing and I can’t believe I was so dumb to let them see how am I gonna face them now lo they’re gonna hate me!!!”

“hey. You’re making jumps in logic. I know you understand the connection, but I don’t okay? How are you getting from your friends seeing you singing to them hating you?”

“because! Because! Um… I-I don’t know, I just, I know they will!”

“Roman what you’re experiencing is a cognitive distortion. You’ve come to the conclusion that you singing will cause your friends to hate you, and I know from experience that if you had any real reason to believe that they would hate you over something this inconsequential you wouldn’t have befriended them. Have faith in them ro. Give them a chance to prove you wrong before deciding this.”

“… o-okay. Do you, do you really think they don’t hate me?”

“I don’t know your friends very well, but I highly doubt anyone would hate you for this. Now, when you’re ready, go back to them. I’m sure they’re worried about you.”

“yeah… yeah okay. Thank you, Logan, you’re a life saver”

“don’t mention it.”

Roman took a few more deep breaths and gave Logan one last hug before going back to the theatre room. He shyly opened the giant hall doors, feeling like an ant in the huge auditorium. The first face he saw when coming back in was Joan who was sitting on the edge of the stage on their phone, legs dangling off the end. They raised their head at the doors sound and brightened. They sat still however, and then came Mr. sanders. He had rushed forward and met him where he was with an outstretched arm and a smile on his face. Roman took his hand and let out a yelp as he was dragged forward. He couldn’t quite concentrate on what his teacher was saying but he knew he was smiling so he hoped it was good.

“-Roman can you sing what you were singing before for me again? Please?”

They were on the stage now, and Joan was nearby with a wide smile. He looked between them and Mr. sanders, and slowly and cautiously nodded. He began the song again, slowly, quietly, but by the time he was at the chorus he was belting out the lyrics once more. His chest felt light, like it was filled with helium and was floating away. His friends all stood grinning at him as he sung, and he was elated.

Imagine for a moment that this was a child’s cartoon, impossible wacky things happen to show emotion. If it were a tv show he would be flying, hair blowing around his head as he was fully submerged by the pure joy of singing. This isn’t a tv show however, and so its just a boy singing his heart out on stage. He wrapped up the song, shocked to see his teacher nearly bouncing from excitement.

“you’re our lead!!! You are a perfect cast!!! You have the perfect range and dance style and I haven’t seen you act but Roman you’re it!!! You’re what we’ve been looking for!!!”

“wh-what? No, I, I can’t do that! I couldn’t get on stage and perform like that!!! I-I didn’t even audition! You-you can’t just, just give me the part! Mr. sanders I’m honored but I can’t let you-”

“Roman, I know you can do it. Also, it’s quite exactly my job to give kids the parts they’ve earned, and that song was enough to see that you deserve that role. You can still say no I guess, but really Roman, I honestly believe you’re exactly the person I’ve been looking for this role. I would be forever grateful if you took me up on it.”

And what could he truly say to that? To his closest friends who looked so thrilled, so proud of him. He couldn’t say no, that would let them down. He looked up at his teacher, the man who would be his mentor for at least another two years after this one and said yes. He agreed and he was terrified. But, singing and dancing made him happy, so he doubted he would end up regretting it completely. He brought his chew necklace up, absently chewing as his peers and teacher cheered. He was going to… have a whole lot to explain to Logan and Remus. And mom and Mimi. That will be… fun.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel @demented-dukey @karmels-stuff

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing!!!

Thank my fanyou for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!!!

[stephenjaymorrisblog]

Hip Pain

At the Woodstock Old Folks Home

By Stephen Jay Morris

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

©Scientific Morality

The Beatles never showed up.  Neither did the Rolling Stones.  Bob Dylan was in the alley with Shakespeare shooting up junk, and was nowhere to be seen.  Hell, Joni Mitchell didn’t even make the scene.  Matter of fact, I was 15 years old and imprisoned in my house on Martel Avenue.  My parents stopped me from going to Woodstock, but I managed to finagle my way to the Altamont Free Rock Festival.  Oh, boy!  We’ve got to get ourselves back to the dead flowers of our garden!

Yeah, it’s been 50 years since that event happened.  It was a watershed moment in Baby Boomer history! It was the embouchure of the Ganges River of higher consciousness.   Sure it was…  1.1 % of Boomers went to that festival.  The rest of them were doing other shit, like praying they’d get accepted to some university, or hoping their parents didn’t find out that they masturbated at two in the morning under the covers.

There were two Woodstock festivals: One was the mythological one with three days of peace and love.  The other was three days of drug overdoses, rain downpours, and thefts of marijuana stashes.  The mythical outdoor concert was presented to the public in a cinematic record of a day in a Bohemian Utopia, with a soundtrack of really neato rock bands. You couldn’t sell the real Woodstock! All it was really about was college students on a camping trip in which sex; drugs and Rock and Roll were readily available.  Traffic in the city?   The act of rustication caused gridlock on those country roads.  Some people had actually paid for tickets, but party crashers tore down the fences. That was one of the only right-on acts of the entire festival:  making a rock concert liberated!  The original idea of the concert was not to be a concert per se; it was supposed to be a Hippie arts and crafts festival.  The event was intended to be like the Newport Folk Festival, where people watch a concert and then visit all the booths selling handmade jewelry and other similar shit.  Those from Southern California may know this reference.  It was originally supposed to have ambiance of The Renaissance Pleasure Faire.  

You see, the real Woodstock, in the summer of 69, took place on a weekend for two days.  The newspapers wrote about it on a half page of text with black and white photos. The evening news gave it their two-minute treatment including some footage of the concert.  That was it!  By autumn, people forgot about it!

The concert itself was a financial catastrophe.  Not only did the organizers lose money, but also performers weren’t paid.  Thus, Warner Brothers approached the organizers and made a deal:  sign over the rights and we’ll pay you lots of money. Warner Brothers got the film footage, made a documentary out of it, and released a sound track album.   Their promotional department went overboard. They convinced the public that this was the equivalent of Christ’s Sermon on the Mount.  Oh, it was?   The 1967 Monterey pop festival was more organized than this pandemonium!  This was a spontaneous event that resulted in bad weather and bad vibes.  The stupid Boomers chanted, “No rain!  No rain!” Did it stop the rain?   Put it this way, it wasn’t raining any money those three days.  So the chant did work—in an ironic way.  

Though I didn’t attend the concert, Woodstock had a personal effect on my life.  In 1970, I attended my first Yippie demonstration at the Fox Theater, in the city of Beverly Hills.  The Yippies demanded that the movie be shown for free because Warner Brothers was exploiting the Counter Culture.  True.   To make a long story short, I got busted at that protest and was charged with vandalism and failure to disperse. My dad had to retrieve me from the police station.

Now on to the summer of 1971.  There was a movie theater in Hollywood called, “The Star.” It featured second run movies. The Star was a bargain movie house that only charged 50 cents to see a double feature!  They were screening the movie, “Woodstock.” A little historical mention here: this theatre was in the same building where my band and I recorded “Kill The Hostages” in 1980.  To cut to the chase, as the kids say nowadays, the movie was Cringsy.  The dialog was stereotypical Hippie slang with enough “Far Outs” and “Groovy” to embarrass a stripper!  The music?  Well, it had its moments, but so did other concerts.

This movie ultimately saved Warner Brothers from bankruptcy.  So if any conservatives claim that Boomer rebels ruined the USA, tell them that the Hippies saved a major studio; just like President Obama saved the auto industry!  After seeing the movie for the first time, I realized I hadn’t missed a thing.  Woodstock featured musical acts from the “D” list.  Because of the movie, their careers lasted for four or five years.  I call it the “Woodstock bump.”

Here’s another sidebar: I used to live in San Pedro, California—a harbor town.  Across the street from me lived an attorney.  He was the type of guy who liked material stuff like fancy sports cars or a top-of-the-line guitar.  He owned a Fender Stratocaster and a big ass Marshall amp.  Every 4th of July, he invited his family and friends over for a barbeque.  Before they shot off their fireworks, this chubby nerd would do a rendition of the great Jimi Hendrix’s instrumental from Woodstock, “Star Spangled Banner.” Of course, the attorney put on his distortion box for effect, however the chump could only play the first five notes of the song before he’d stop and start it over again!  The party guests would gawk at him for a minute and then just walk away.  He was showing off on an instrument he barely knew how to play!  He just wanted to own it.  This was the legacy of Woodstock.

So here we are, commemorating the 50th anniversary of a mythological event that never occurred.  If you ever wondered what happened to those thousands of kids, well they did not become tribal elders of some various communes.  Most of them graduated universities, got married, and had kids.  Some became New Age ecologists and Reborn Christians, who then became Evangelicals. Others went into the entertainment business or computer technology.  Many became greedy yuppies and Conservatives.  They treated President Reagan like he was the second coming of Christ.  As for me?   I remained this eccentric iconoclast who never sold out. To this very day, I don’t care about money.  Yes, I need it to survive. But, to me, it is merely a tool. To a great many, it’s a certificate for hedonism and ego gratification.  A lot of idiots over the years have treated me with condescension and scorn.  I don’t give a fuck! Never did and never will.

So 50 years ago, the New York Mets won the World Series and the USA landed on the moon.  Those were top news events!  50 years ago, a bunch of middle class, white kids sat in the mud and listened to a bunch of third-rate bands that I couldn’t give two shits about!  That’s the size of it.  

[dictacontrion]

On the one hand, perhaps this will prevent any messages to the effect of “but Dicta, you’re overreacting, sympathy towards these two things don’t go together.”

On the other hand, this is the most appalling pile of garbage I’ve read in a good long while and needs to be taken apart with a fucking scalpel.

Milo is not evil any more than Draco in the books - Maybe, maybe not, but Milo is a real person whose actions affect real people, and his actions are therefore in an entirely different ethical category.

not everyone in the world is altruistic... - No, but the existence of bad behavior neither justifies nor excuses bad behavior.

...They are still seen as “good people” because they were on the side that won, the side that thinks itself morally superior.  - No. They are seen as good people because they seek to decrease harm, rather than increasing harm.

Other peoples opinions do not hurt you, other peoples actions do. - Expressing an opinion is an action. Expressing an opinion that is intended to incite others to exclusion and violence is an action. Expressing the opinion, as Milo did, that people should “catcall at least five women” in celebration of “World Patriarchy Day,” is both an action and a call to action. Even in the United States, which takes one of the (if not the) world’s most hard-line positions on free speech, speech that is meant to incite people to harmful action (a la yelling “fire” in a crowded theatre, which will cause a stampede) can be restricted, precisely because the expression of ideas can cause harm.

You have nothing to fear from a calm discussion with someone you disagree with. - You do if that “calm discussion” is not, was never intended to be, an exchange. You do when it’s one-sided and broadcast to an audience who the speaker knows will act against you, as was the case in Milo’s criticism of Leslie Jones.

You do from anyone who gets angry when their point of view is challenged, because they are intolerant, they want to shut down discussion of a topic - Not all ideas ought to be tolerated. Free speech principles and laws mean that almost any idea can make its way into the world, but people are not obligated to, and should not, give them all equal consideration. As a society, we should not tolerate the idea that “Women are...screwing up the internet for men by invading every space we have online and ruining it with attention-seeking and a needy, demanding, touchy-feely form of modern feminism that quickly comes into conflict with men’s natural tendency to be boisterous, confrontational, and delightfully autistic” or that “all heads of diversity and indeed every employee of any diversity or equality department should be white men—the more privileged the better. After all only rich, well-educated, well-connected heterosexual white males have the required detachment and lack of emotional connection to the issues at hand to make the right calls.” Milo has the legal right to say these things. We might have something to fear from people who want to remove that legal right, but that is not and has never been part of this equation. He has, and there has been no attempt to abridge, his legal right to say just about whatever he wants. Those who disagree with him have a legal right to respond, as well as an ethical obligation to refute ideas that seek to impugn the worth, intelligence, politics, rationality, and agency of women, people of color, and non-neurotypical people. Of our fellow humans.

that is fascism, restriction of the free movement of ideas.  - no. Fascism refers to a set of governing ideals that include legally sanctioned violence, legally sanctioned restrictions to freedom of movement and expression, total or near-total control of economic systems by the government, nationalistic ideals that rely on othering minorities in order to form a sense of national cohesion, and anti-liberal rejection of disagreement. Everything about this circumstance is the very opposite of fascism. Milo is legally allowed to say what he likes, where he likes, and to earn money from it however he likes. Other people are allowed to respond however they like, including by refuting his ideas, not listening to his ideas, working to restrict the available private venues in which he seeks to spread his ideas, and making it harder for him to earn money off of them. That interplay between speaker and audience, and the freedom of both sides to express what they believe constitutes acceptable public discourse, is completely consistent with democratic liberalism.

Someone like Milo, who is throwing opinions out there with jokes is not a bad person. - Neither opining nor joking makes someone a bad person.  If your jokes consist, as Milo’s do, of calling someone “a typical example of a sort of thick-as-pig shit media Jew” or attending an anti-rape march with a sign that reads “Rape Culure and Harry Potter: Both Fantasy,” then you’re into bad person territory - the problem is not that someone tried to make a joke, but that that “joke” depends on devaluing, belittling, and hurting people.

To take that freedom away would be Fascism. If he and other people who think like him are prevented from sharing their ideas that is censorship. - No. You misunderstand the difference between public laws and private individuals or companies. If the government takes away freedoms of speech, expression, and movement, then it’s censorship and perhaps, depending on circumstance, one component of authoritarianism. If private companies, like twitter, refuse to give him a platform they are well within their rights to do so, because they are not bound by the same mandates as the government. If private individuals, individually or collectively, refute, protest, or refuse to listen to a set of ideas, that is itself a form of free expression. The ability of audiences to object to what Milo says is evidence of the absence of fascism or censorship.

if they want to hear him speak at a conference/buy his book/read his twitter they should be able to. At the moment they can’t. That to my mind is evil, it’s like living in China where people are censored because of their beliefs. - They can’t because a preponderance of people, including people on the political right, have agreed that his ideas are harmful, stupid, and intolerable, and have made it economically and reputationally non-viable for private venues to offer him a platform. That is the result of free expression and a free market responding to feedback from a bipartisan majority. That is how free market democracies work. Note, too, that people who want to hear his ideas can still seek them out easily and at low or no cost with a simple google search, and that he can continue to speak through whatever venues will have him. This, again, is exactly how free market democracies work.

Those principles [free speech and expression, minimal government interference, and democracy] are what have allowed gay rights, rights for women etc, because it was government restrictions that prevented these from occurring before. Government restrictions to women voting, government restrictions to marriage etc. It was the removal of these laws that allowed these freedoms of individual expression to occur. - This is so profoundly historically wrong that I am cringing on behalf of every teacher you’ve ever had. Unpacking this knot of wrongness would require explaining the difference between positive and negative liberty, the different between principles and the people who work to make them meaningful, different types of social movements, federalist government, international conventions and different country’s relationships to them, the interrelationship between representative and judicial branches of government, and the philosophical and legal history of both political and human rights, and frankly, I can’t fit those several semesters worth of lectures into a tumblr post. I can say, though, that you owe it to yourself, and to your fellow citizens, to do some reading or take some classes and learn how governments work.

[schmackarys]

once again did not get called back for another audition for a department show and I’m not devastated, but I am disappointed. I only have two semesters left to be cast in one and I don’t even know if that’s going to happen, if past is prologue. I felt quite good about my audition and I KNOW I’m a good actor and I KNOW I’m a good singer and I KNOW I’m better than some people who’ve been cast previously and some who were called back, but something isn’t clicking obviously and I don’t know what.