#its just me and my three (3) copies of lost souls against the world.......

[violentinez]

guess my favourite author (impossible edition)

[fvrxdrm]

5 Times

Pairing: Damnation!Leon Kennedy x Reader

Warning(s): None

*****

4 times Leon didn't confess his love and 1 time he did.

One

It was the giggles that sailed upon your boat, the laughter, the smiles. You both saw the funny in everything and that was your bond. You could be serious too; you loved deeply of others more than what was generally accepted. So you guessed the humor was how you let out the tension that kind of love brings. In those silly moments you were perfect, and they were the sweetness you needed in rough times. That's what friends do, right? It's the love that makes doors in emotional brick walls, the love that makes everything possible.

That's what Leon always thought. It was so cordial and unique in a way that he felt like what he valued so much was somehow outlandish and alien. He couldn't distinguish what comes out of him whenever you were with him and every tingle that raises hills on his skin was a puzzle he was unable to solve.

"I'll see you around," you mumbled against his chest.

"Yep." Leon unwrapped his arms around you albeit slowly, reluctant for some reason, and smiled through his pursed lips. "I'll see you around."

He watched as you wended your way from his house and into your home, a teasing tug pulling his lips at the ghost of your own against his cheek.

Two

Under the dim lights and the colorful ornamentations, your raiment sparkled against the gleam, catching the eye of many guests, predominantly Leon. You looked like a princess wearing a headband that imitated a crown, a top and a pair of pants embellished with a winking glint that could be mistaken as diamonds from afar, and heeled leather boots that comically made you look tall. Your hair was in a loose and messy braid with a few strands hanging just beside your face and a light chain that twisted along your H/L H/C locks.

Leon was in awe, no doubt. His focus was glued to your appearance. Even when his friends were making random conversations with him, he found it unbearably hard to keep his icy blues away from you.

"You should just ask her out, you know. You've been staring at her with heart eyes the entire night," Chris spoke as he followed the trail of Leon's gaze towards you.

Leon broke away from his stupor and shook his head at the man's voice, his blood rushing towards his neck and face.

"What? No, no. You're mistaken. I-I don't like her like that."

"You sure? Last time we were drunk you were yelling about how much you love her right into my ear."

"We were drunk, Chris."

"And? What's that saying again? A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts?" Chris simpered as Leon's eyes widened in surprise.

"What? Th-that's not true!" He denied.

"Mhm, sure. Anyway, my girlfriend's probably looking for me now," the taller and bulkier man said. "At least ask her to dance."

As Chris' footsteps faded away into the beat of the music, Leon thought about what he had said.

Did he actually like her, or was it just something he was confusing himself with? Either way, you were still a treasured dear to him and whether or not his heart was romantically beating for you, he would still value you the same, although he would probably be a bit clingier if you did end up together.

For now, he'll just ask you for a dance, go with the flow, and see what happens.

Three

The night rode in on a horse of pure midnight velvet, beckoned by the stars under the glow of a full moon. As the colors of the day rested, perhaps dreamt of the morrow, the forest became its monochrome beauty, darkened greens and golds that made an ever-changing, ever-present puzzle, question and answer united.

Fire danced beside you as you and Leon laid against under the constellation of stars and talked the night away, smiling and laughing at every jest that was told.

It felt pleasant to be in his arms and he felt warmth as a wild heart beat in his bars.

"This one," you began, leading his fingers towards a raised and silvery part of your skin, "I got this when I was younger. I got stabbed by a pencil."

"A pencil?"

"Yeah. My friend and I got into a fight and it was buried, like, 3-fucking-inches inside of me. And holy shit, my teacher didn't fucking notice it while I was bleeding profusely. I was leaking hamburger helper!"

Leon busted a gut and pulled you towards him even more as he shook in laughter.

You went on and on about the most absurd things that had happen during your childhood until you lost all energy and eventually fell asleep in Leon's arms.

You looked peaceful, he thought. Your face was so serene as if nothing had really affected you in any way. The world was cruel, but you only sought for the brighter side and stood along it with your back turned to the hell it truly bore. Your lips were parted lightly, and hair just a tad bit messy from all the exaggerated movements you'd done while telling your stories and tossing your head back while laughing. A part of your skin was showing as your top rode up, and he couldn't the blush that crawled up to his face when realized his hand was rested on that patch of skin.

He smiled.

Maybe he did like you, or love you. If his admiration wasn't enough, then his heart reassured him.

Four

"Oh, fuck!"

You swam away from Leon as fast as your arms and legs could fight against the water as he chased you, muscles and quads aiding him. Compared to you, he was more skilled in this type of stuff while you had chicken legs with barely anything of assistance. So it was no surprise when he caught up to you with spider hands and wrapped his arms around your waist. He tickled your stomach, the bareness of it making the stimulation all the more patent and making you guffaw while squirming in his arms.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" You cried in between laughter. You turned around to face him when you felt his hands making a stop against the side of torso and looked at the wonders of his eyes steadily and intensely.

You didn't notice it, but Leon's breath hitched at the proximity of your faces, the hot air that flew out of your nose hitting the droplets on his face. You were in a daze. Both of you. It felt so intimate and bona fide that for a second that was your only reality.

Your fingers trailed up his chest, neck, and finally his cheek, and for a moment, your hand was still on his face with only your thumb moving to stroke the scar that was stripped away from his hair. Leon furrowed his brows. The inside of your lip was lightly bitten as you thought about your next action for a moment. But decided that fuck it, life is short. If he felt the same way than congrats! But if he didn't, well, it's either he'll pull away or kiss back with no purpose. And hey, what's the matter with making out with your best friend?

And so, you drew a bit closer, albeit rather slowly in case Leon wanted to pull away. But seeing as he was copying your motions, you saw his intention and pressed your lips against his in a shy lip-lock.

Five

Leon tugged on his tie as he looked at the people dancing around inside of the venue, his heart doing a little dance of its own when he saw you smiling with the crowd.

He blew a sigh, the breeze intertwining with the air. He could see the party from the balcony: flashes of different color schemes, the swaying of dresses as the women moved, the chattering of people as they drank the glasses of champagne. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe this was all about you and him; two souls entwined by love.

"I see you didn't invite me," a sultry and velvety voice said from beside him. He knew who it was and it didn't faze him anymore to see her appearing uninvited as she always did.

"What are you doing here, Ada?"

"What, I can't go see two of my favorite people anymore?"

"Well, it always ended in a mess, anyway, so what's the point." Ada chuckled in response and leaned back against the railing, the smile her giggling left still ghosting on her face. It was all jokes, fun, and games to her for a moment until she turned serious and gazed at you from a distance where you couldn't notice.

"Take care of each other, Leon. You both are worth more than what you give yourselves credit for," she muttered. "I wish I could've given her the life you're giving to her now. But I can't, and I'll remain like this until I die."

In the depths of her mind, Ada reminisced on the time when she was in Leon's position. She gave the love you needed and wanted, and cared for you in so many ways. But she was a mercenary, a wanted one at that, and she knew that one day, everything would be thrown into a void or burned until it turned to ashes. So, she broke what you had off and handed you to Leon where he could give you a better life.

Leon couldn't say anything. It seemed rude and odd but he remembered when you knocked on his door, drenched in rain water and sobbing everything from your chest. It hurt to see you like that. And so, he promised. He promised to be the best husband he could ever be and shower you with everything he could give you.

"Leon!" Your voice rang out as you ran towards him with a wide smile on your face, startling the both of them.

Leon turned towards where Ada stood but saw that she was gone as if she was nothing but an apparition that was made by his mind.

He was befuddled for a moment, pondering about his encounter with the woman, but found his heart racing as you came closer to him.

What transpired was long forgotten and all the world could see how Leon mimicked the smile that defined the joy you brought to him. He was just happy to share such a beautiful moment with you and he optimistically wondered about what was ahead of you.

He pulled you towards him and spun you around as he battered your face with kisses, whispering 'I love you's and so many more sweet nothings against your cheeks while you laughed in his arms.

Hidden within the shadows was the raven-haired woman, imitating their smiles as she watched the intimacy from afar. She felt like her mission was done and although it hurt, she was thankful for what she'd done. Leon was going to give you the life you deserved and he was going to fill the holes she'd left.

*****

This was rushed. Lol. And I'm using my phone. How was it tho?

This was the outfit I had in mind. Feel free to change it though.

[pythosart]

A BUNCH OF LOUS Some demonic force possessed me to try and make a guide to all 700 of my AU Lous.  My brain is too busted to let me pay attention to my other ocs so I guess all 3% of my creative energy capacity goes toward iterating on this one. And guess what, I cherish them ALL Short bios/AU explanation under the cut (oops it’s long)

ORIGINAL FLAVOR BLADES LOU: Lou as initially designed, though some aspects of their backstory and personality changed as I got to know them through roleplay. Halfway through the story they took a kinda edgy turn and got deeper into cult stuff and afflicted with a worsening vampiric condition. Right before we ended the game for good, they had just died and come back as a full on, undead vampire.

Fae AU: The first AU, that kinda started it all. Stemmed from a cultist dream thing in Blades, where Lou was the prey in an Erlking-style nightly hunt. In the fae version, they’re a sylph changeling and the only child of a fading fae queen. Their arc in this deals with them struggling with their humanity and nearly succumbing to the soul-sucking influence of their mother, before ultimately restoring her “humanity” and saving themself THROUGH THE POWER OF LOVE Cult AU: Kinda started as a Blades offshoot, coulda shoulda woulda AU where we play with ideas we wish we could have tackled in the game. Quickly became its own thing, set actually on Earth in the Prohibition era (but low magic urban fantasy) Lou is French and was rescued from the middle of a WWI battlefield by Aphotis, a goddess whose own cult had just been massacred. She was as desperate for a believer to sustain her as toddler Lou was to not die. They escaped to America as refugees and Aphotis raised them as her own, and as her caretaker and dirty-work-doer in her quest to regain power. Along the way, Lou was (perhaps intentionally) introduced to an infectious piece of a primordial god, that gave them some shapeshifting abilities at the cost of rapidly draining the life from them and twisting them. Aphotis works to keep them alive, while keeping a memory-wiped copy of them (created by this parasitic god piece) around to do her bidding. This isn’t two instances of Lou, it’s one Lou with two bodies. Same person. My personal story borrows a lot from this AU as well as my character Esther’s old story Mary Sue AU: Initially a joke exercise to write intentionally terrible fanfic (as if Dom were writing about their friends in Blades) that of course became its own thing. Lou is obviously a vampire, with most of the traditional vampire rules and weaknesses. Their Tragic Past gimmick is that they were staked in the heart while still living, as bait for their vampire queen mother. It worked, she turned them postmortem, and as a result they are much weaker than a typical vampire. They also suffer a curse to stay within the bounds of their family’s ancestral castle, which has since become a prestigious university. They also become a fluffy black cat-bat thing either at will or when too weak to sustain a full sized body. Their line of vampires usually turns into cats, but Lou is a fuckup Pirates AU: Pretty straightforward. Lou is called June in this one, and is the mutinous first mate of Captain Inkblood (Cookie), who totally does it for attention. Their secret is that they became a pirate to dodge student loan debt. Stayhome AU: “Blades, but what if the formative incident for your character never happened” Lou never gets caught by the Governor’s program to round up street urchins and send them to work-school, and instead ends up working on a shrimp boat. They never develop the world-weariness and scheming nature of canon Lou, instead devoting their intellect to learning everything about shrimp, shrimping, and shrimp boats. Insert Forrest Gump scene. Eventually their crew gets captured and ransomed by pirates, but no one ever pays up for Lou, and they end up pretty happily living with the pirate crew Western AU: Gee I wonder why this big city doctor picked up and moved all the way out here to the frontier, it couldn’t possibly be because they’re running from the law. Narrator voice: They Were. Lou is a terribly unethical doctor with a reputation for experimenting on patients, and a taste for arson. After getting chased out of town and blacklisted all over the west, they find themself joining an outlaw band, as their doctor. Here, they start to learn compassion and humanity and not being a total bastard... ...until they somewhat accidentally burn a particular bounty hunter’s face off with a firebomb, and she carves them up in return. From here on, their arc is a test of their learned compassion and breaking a cycle of bloody revenge. Horror AU: Starts off as a classic summer slasher movie, with Lou as a college student with a bunch of shitty “friends” destroying a campground and partying until they draw the local monster’s ire. The monster (Dom) kills several of them, kidnaps Lou after Lou hides their fear behind sass and clearly isn’t like the destructive campers. Lou learns more about the monster and even starts to warm up to them, especially after discovering they can boss the monster around. Lou successfully escapes but runs right into a horror swamp where a nasty worm zombie pukes worms into their mouth and infests them. As the infestation progresses and nearly kills them a few times, Lou learns that the worms are intelligent and actually adore their host, and also that they can be bribed. By the end of their arc, Lou has mostly achieved symbiosis with their worms and avoided becoming a zombie,. They eventually must face off against the monsterified Queen of the Preps, Tiffany, who was similarly infested but never achieved that symbiosis. Minecraft AU, no really: Lou was a skilled tailor, and a total workaholic. Their ambition netted them a contract for a huge order of clothing for a duchess’s wedding on an extremely tight deadline, and Lou, knowing this could make them for the rest of their life, poured everything into it. They worked themself literally to death, dying of sleep deprivation. Distraught, this unfinished business drove them to make a devil deal of sorts to keep working, and they were granted this undeath, for a price. They slowly became more and more like a Phantom as they worked, never sleeping, and feeding on the dreams of those who do sleep. By the time they finished and emerged to present their achievement, they were monstrous and were chased out of town. From then on, they had lost their passion for their craft, and wandered the wilderness, sneaking into towns at night to feed on dreams, and fighting to retain their humanity as they become more and more phantom-like. Anyway I love this one so much I might make them their own non-minecraft character LotR AU: Lou is a hobbit, entrusted with the destruction of a certain magic ring. Unfortunately, they are much more corruptible than one Frodo, and early on abandon their fellowship, driven by paranoia the Ring has been growing within them. They run into a feral Mirkwood elf raised by giant spiders, and a giant orc raised by a Beorning farmer, and the three of them embark on a weird little Ring Quest of their own. TBC AU: Lou is a quiet, social outsider high schooler, with a bitter hatred for bullies and a knack for really disproportionately nasty “pranks” directed at said bullies. Too smart for their own good and with a taste for theft, Lou is a straight-A student who has been arrested for carjacking before. They end up as part of the Blackout Club after discovering their adoptive mother’s involvement with the Chorus, and out of sheer curiosity about the secret goings-on under the town. And in no small part for free run to break into houses and smear chili oil on the hands of sleepers who inconvenience them, because Lou is a bastard and has yet to learn empathy. Which, as usual, is kinda their arc here. Make friends for the first time in their life, learn empathy, get sucked into the orbit of a fairly nasty god/Voice, classic Lou stuff AND THAT’S ABOUT IT

[xenoblademisadventures]

I feel like I should elaborate on my opinion about Alvis being confirmed Ontos because I was against this when people were bringing up the possibility.

I think the idea of Alvis being Ontos on a lore level is boring and in the big picture. Like, say Xenoblade DE said Alvis is explicitly NOT Ontos, the obvious question is "then who is?" Which could lead to that being a facet of Xenoblade 3's plot. It also would mean "then what is Alvis?"

It could even be set up as a plot twist because the audience is probably low key expecting Alvis to be Ontos. Obviously, he shares stuff in common with Mythra and Malos, having similar power sets and poses, but stuff like Alvis has foresight, Mythra has a much weaker version of that; Alvis has 8 Monado Arts, Malos has 4 (also, Alvis is the Monado so calling the Arts Monado Arts is saying they're his Arts, while Malos calling his Arts Monado Arts implies he's invoking the Monado, which would put the Monado as some entity above the Aegises); Alvis is able to have several different swords at once that change form to fit the user, Mythra can do something like that but needs to become a different person first; Alvis can recreate the universe at will, Mythra at her full potential can do minor rewrites to give herself an advantage against Jin; Alvis was able to revive Shulk twice with no obvious drawbacks, Mythra revived Rex once and it put herself in a compromising position; Alvis has a much more complete memory of Earth and its destruction than either Malos or Mythra; etc. If Alvis is not an Aegis, he could be the administrative computer overlooking the Aegises. Or he could be a prototype Aegis. Another option is the Conduit somehow made him all three Aegises fused into one entity (I suppose this wouldn't be impossible still, so shrug). Anyways, all of those options are more interesting than Alvis being Ontos.

Say, Monolith decides Alvis needs to be an Aegis for whatever reason, I have an idea that would probably be more interesting than if his Core Crystal was just nakedly visible. Consider this, Alvis has a more muted personality than either Malos or Mythra, similar to how Fan La Noir has a more muted personality than Haze, so what if Zanza and Meyneth were Blade Eaters and that's how they achieved their divinity? Considering that Haze's power didn't seem to decrease (possibly even increased, seeing how in Golden Country we've seen her stop two blades at most (and Mythra probably could've broken out like Malos did) while Xenoblade 2 she stopped a small Titan) when she lost part of her Core Crystal, it wouldn't compromise Alvis's ability to function as a sword. He acts somewhat more robotic after reviving Shulk for the second time, which makes me think Shulk became a Blade Eater without knowing it. That being the case would leave a lot more implications for Alvis and his relationship to Zanza's and Meyneth. Technically it's possible that Alvis could point to the Core Crystal that's like a necklace and be like "this is what it's supposed to look like *unbottons shirt* and this is what it actually looks like."

The worst possible ending is if there's a plot twist that Bionis takes place in the Subconcious Emissary. Like, everything in that world is made of ether. Taken literally, that would mean there is no matter, only ether. Which could explain how the Monado is way stronger than Pneuma or Logos. It would also deepen the connection to Xenosaga brought by the Conduit. For those who don't know Xenosaga lore, the Subconcious Emassary is basically the afterlife. There's no matter and a heck ton of ether. People who go there but are too determined or have past regrets overflow the place and become magic space fish. So, the Bionis would exist as a stalling system to prevent the souls of the dead from becoming magic space fish by giving them a virtual life where they repeatedly reincarnate while Zanza eats some of the excess ether until they can go to the Collective Subconcious. If Monolith is trying to make Zanza's sympathetic, this would make his actions justified, just very confusing. They'd basically be turning him into a copy of Deus and Wilhelm from Xenogears and Xenosaga. This is the worst option because it would add needless confusion to the lore.

[usukitomogara]

Especially on sultry days near the end of the rainy season like today, the flesh on both sides turns into an aroma diffuser of death. It is a an exceptionally hideous Oai odor, endlessly also emit and without Mokumoku, change and to hell with the interior space in a moment.

I am a serious, so-called wakiga. It is a wakiger.

If the maximum level of armpits is 10 and the power to bury a hamster in the armpit in seconds, I'm a fairly legendary category of about 8-9.

My half-life can be called a fight with my wakiga. When I was a teenager, I was worried about to die. After graduating from high school, I had apocrine gland removal surgery. It recurred in my late twenties. It became stronger and revived. I was worried again. Every effort was made, but in vain. With the years, the smell became stronger. Today, when I'm in my forties, this armpit has the strongest odor, but I'm not worried at all. I'm even thankful for being born in Wakiga. What is this change like?

It is generally said that there are different types of wakiga odors, but in my case, the rotten odors of milk, fish, meat and onions, urine, vinegared rice, mold, iron odors, all of which are left over. Is blended without. Approximately all the bad odors that a human can have are generously condensed into a certain gas. It is, so to speak, a Western music HIT compilation "NOW" in the world of wakiga.

The quality is high, but the quantity is great. The white T-shirt is yellow for both sides so that it doesn't last for a season. The gray T-shirt is sweaty before you leave the house. When I was delivering a newspaper, I sometimes delivered it by pinching the morning newspaper. Originally a highly absorbent newspaper, the thirty copies of the morning edition were all covered in sweat from the front page to the program table.

On a hot and humid day like today, I think it's a nightmare-like smelt.

As I continue to smell the same odor 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, I feel the stimulus is fresh, so it's easy to imagine how much hell someone else stepping into my wakidein range can see me to hell. .. Moreover, its power goes beyond mere "smell". The power of wakiga is supposed to be effective only against the nasal cavity, but at my level, the attack extends to the throat and lungs.

Since the apocrine glands beside me awoke and wakiga began to rage, people nearby were coughing violently. In a crowded train, in a classroom, at a convenience store, and as people pass by on the street, people cough with a few tears. A weak-legged grandfather with a cane blows his dentures, and coughs like crazy enough to pull his soul half out of his body. Of course, there is also the possibility of beliefs due to excessive self-consciousness. As a single hope, the logic is that the visual sensations rather than the odor, that is, the teratogenicity of my body, makes people dislike and consciously coughs as an expression. I had also assembled. But it was useless.

On the street, I once tried to overtake a young eagle worker who walked forward. The younger man began to cough violently when the distance gradually decreased and three meters left. With the same tone that I often hear on the train. The young man has not even perceived a pedestrian behind him. People were cruelly honest about the transparent gas of Wakiga.

Naturally, I was worried about to die when adolescents were concerned about the opposite sex.

When I was a junior high school student, every year the summer was approaching and I wanted to die from the end of GW. Finally, I decided to prepare for only Y-shirts. This is because the sweat stain becomes noticeable, as well as the smell becomes stronger. Like malnourished children in developing countries, or Pygmon, I always close my arms tightly, and when I pick up things, I move them only from the elbows. Such efforts were vain, and Amraco gals who were high in school caste sweared in the halls and so on, saying, "I'm really wacky, but w", and were given nicknames such as durian, kebab, and sushitaro.

It was winter, especially hell. Instead of worrying about sweat stains, Gakuran gives off a ferocious stench. It smells like a dry rag left in the shade for a week after wiping plenty of milk. Wakiga has no breaks. The thick cloth, Gakuran, has bad breathability, so I rather sweat. The sweat that has no place to escape evaporates, and the inner and Y-shirts function as a two-layer filter to filter, and high-purity wakiga extract is caught by the outer Gakuran fabric. In addition, winter drying causes bacteria to grow. The occurrence of violent stench is inevitable.

Besides, Gakuran doesn't wash so often. When I returned from school, I used water and detergent only on the side of the school run to wash my hands. It's something I'll wear the next day, so I can't just give it a fair sun. I have to dry it by morning. Therefore, after washing with water, I kept the dryer in the washroom for 2-3 hours. Finally, between the dryer and the cloth, it clicks! And when the blue lightning like Cherenkov light ran, I thought I had gone as far as possible. However, the effort was not rewarded, and the next day, the smell of detergent was added to the above-mentioned bad odor, which made people around him uncomfortable.

I decided to have an operation after having troubled myself to the point of mental collapse. Human relations are reset during the spring break after graduating from high school. I thought it would be the only time to do it. At the clinic in Ikebukuro, which is a comprehensive department store of plastic surgery, laser hair removal, chin excision, nasal prosthesis placement, silicone boobs, and almost anything related to beauty, shame the waiting room crowded by model-like sisters Shinobu jumped in. I made an appointment for the surgery day at the first visit without consulting my parents. My mother was an old man who never allowed me to put a scalpel on my parent's body. I have never confessed about wakiga's worries. However, I wonder if I secretly knew what I was doing, and when I showed him the invoice, he transferred nearly 200,000 yen without saying anything.

On the day of the operation, in the operating room of Norinori, where club music was played, the operation proceeded by a young teacher with a chara allback and a nurse in a pink nurse outfit sold at Don Quixote. Since I had a partial anesthesia, my teacher asked me about some wakiga while he was cutting the apocrine gland. It was my first time to confess to another person at this time, but it was easy to talk with a light teacher, so when I started talking, I could not stop. I felt comfortable as I was talking, and I had no surgery, so it seemed silly that I was worried about death. Sunny, I got the long-cherished odorless armpit that would not drop a single drop of side sweat even in midsummer. I suffered from complete numbness around the armpit and some numbness, leaving scars like swelling of the earthworm, but it does not hurt my life.

Having suffered for as long as you die can turn you over to what you love as you die. Shigeru Mizuki, the famous author of the manga "GeGeGe no Kitaro", lost one arm in Rabaul, the destination of the war in the previous war, and returned to life after nine deaths. Since the arrival of peace after the war, he has loved the land of the once-threatening Rabaul and has visited it more than 10 times. It's annoying to cite it, but about two years after I got an odorless wakiga, I fell in love with the wakiga that would have afflicted me once. To be precise, the smell of the armpits of women began to become extraordinarily excited.

When I was twenty, I miraculously had a girlfriend (probably kanako) and abandoned her virginity. Strictly not her, she is a woman who has sex. Not a sex friend. There is nothing to communicate with each other other than sex. It was like a human masturbation product where you would go back to TSUTAYA to return to the DVD and go home with a rusty mama-chari on the brakes when you went out to meet each other. To that proof, kanako appeared before me without much makeup. Even rice has never been eaten together. I don't mind this, I'll let you do it every time, and I thought I didn't have to worry about it.

More than a year after having sex for the first time, and when I don't know how many times I had sex, it's not uncommon to have a fellatio even when I have a fellatio. In such a case, I closed my eyes and said in my head, "The woman who is sucking now is Chun-Li, Chun-Li, Chun-Li, Chun-Li..." There are times when you look at it when you open it, fold up the newspaper, and raise your heavy waist, which can make you feel better, but it also becomes less useful.

One day, when sex was downgraded to act equivalent to dungeon and brushing teeth, one day when I went to kanako's room, I was wearing a sleeveless leopard dress like a primitive man's control and folding laundry. I was struck by the appearance of life and shabbyness. It is said that her husband got it in arcade. Thinking that I should go home and do wii's Zelda legend, I knew something instinctively when Kanako reached out to take Kabuki or take something from the shelf. Then, suddenly, I stopped looking at the mobile phone and turned my gaze to kanako. I stood up quickly. The armpit of Kanako who looked into suddenly had a little hair under her hair because of her daily laziness. I stay as it is! Yelled. Then, he approached and fixed the bottle-bottom glasses that were slipping down, and looked at it a little... seriously. In me, the sound of the earth started to sound. I took kanako's arm and opened her arm full. I desperately restrained my trembling arm to close it immediately. I had been overlooked until now. How beautiful...! Suddenly, the humidity was suddenly released. It was like a breath of spring under a cherry tree in full bloom. Kanako who shook Kabuki on the floor and trembled suddenly.... It's a revolution! Magma overflowed with a terrible explosion. For the first time in over a month, I slammed my One Piece and threw it on a futon with my princess hugging, holding my kana child hall violently. Hugged, sniffed, sniffed, hugged. While sticking from behind, I put my finger under my sweaty armpit and sniffed it. While covering from the top, the face armpits that made me live, buried my face under my armpit, licked Peron Peron, and screamed on my tongue were the drugs themselves. That night, as if I met him for the first time, he got crazy again and again. No, I didn't have time to wither. Even though I'm a woman who can eat Katsu-don while turning the TV channel, even if my boobs are blown out in front of me!

From that day on, waki became cheese-in-hamburger and kana became like parsley in me. On weekdays, if you can't smell under your armpit for a while, it becomes like a withdrawal symptom. Oh, I want to sniff and lick my armpit quickly. I want to see Wakiko. I'm almost suffocated! After opening the door of kanako's apartment for the first time in a week, it was as if a mid-distance runner had run 400m, and immediately, while being held by a coach, he was able to apply an oxygen respirator and breathe into his armpits with all his might. .. I was alive again, and my tears overflowed. Kanako was not a so-called wakiga, but when she sucked her nose against it, it smelled of a strange rotten smell. When I took a deep deep breath, the odor filled my lungs, and got into the bloodstream, my brain was stained pink.

At first, kanako showed a real dislike of being able to see and smell her armpit hair, and looked down at me with awake eyes while her face was buried. I couldn't respond even if I asked by mouth, so I had no choice but to take violent measures like rape. However, apparently it seems that this is a real pervert, or it is due to familiarity, I have obeyed obediently. In the middle of the foreplay, when I quickly sensed that I couldn't get up today with the intuition of a woman, I started to open myself. There may have been a case where he should get erected early in order to avoid the slight shock of not getting erected. My interest and demand for armpits increased day by day. By the way, kanako is a mixed race from Naha, it's a public image as if it's completely open, I'm one year older, sexual role is S, I'm M stakeout piston cowgirl (with me. It was a classic course to get fucked by the second joint of (Anal finger insertion). However, as for the armpits, I will be reversed to S, and kanako will be reversed to M (probably unwilling). Then I was instructed not to shave my armpit hair. The day before I met, I was instructed to never wash my armpits. I think kanako was horrible and obeyed because my eyes were so serious. I was surprised that I had the ability to train an older woman according to my taste. In the summer evening, kanako got into the doorstep of my house after she finished her tele-apo job, and I walked over and forced Kanako's frightened shirt off and banzai, walking from the station and still sweating. I caught the stuffy underarms that didn't pull, sticking like Tuchu Chupa Chupa, like an alien larva, and, as it was, poked into the back at the entrance. I'm already like a mother, I'm farting in front of people in public, there is a rubber mark on my pants on my stomach, I wake the kettle for the time being to get up, make a snorkel like an old man, It smells like a dungeon stewed overnight over low heat, soaks into the bar until late every night, and you're fishing for a man that you can choose, a woman like a rainy weekly playboy who can't stir up excitement. Against! Was it because I owned this woman that I had such a painful surgery for Wakiga?

It's funny, I think my thoughts were understood, kana grew up. When I was sniffed at my side and got licked, I got excited, my secret meat drooped like squid smoked, and the surrounding area was soaking wet with a soil-colored manko with perennial millet. In the end, I was messing with myself, and I licked it and even showed off my sides. But even beside that special presence, I wasn't excited for about three months, then I didn't see kanako, and I went into a long, long second virgin. I don't think human beings without human beings are endless. (In the news of the wind, kanako heard that five years ago, she was drunk and crossing the street, and was killed by a taxi. There was an idiot.)

Even now, even if I am just sleeveless, even an aunt in my 50's will come awkward, I will like girls who have a light smell on the side, and even if I see the word "woman's armpit" If not, the preheat mode will be turned on lightly. What was that talking about? Yeah, I was talking about my own armpit.

By the way, I had a surgery for wakiga, and I thought that I could live a life that was free from those worries. Apocrine gland (in my opinion, Moomin's Nyoronyoro) slowly revived over the course of about five years. I wondered if it would ever be removed again, so I grew up thicker, stronger and stronger than before. At the same time, the sensation of the paralyzed skin and the armpit hair that was partly shaved were restored with the same foot. The smell was stronger than before, staying in one place, and when I got lost in the forest, I went back by following the humbling silver fly. It was

Fortunately, however, science and technology have evolved over the last few years, and companies have found that antiperspirants are much more effective than they were in their teens. In the past, the only concept was to disguise it by applying a strong scent to the wakiga, but the mainstream was to remove the odor itself, such as the power of silver. Thanks to that, I was able to reduce the odor for about 8 hours during the daytime. If it smelled at the time limit during the drinking party, I should have done it like Cinderella. However, the effect seems to be effective only for the smell sensed by the nasal cavity, and it seems that the fine particles of the poison of Wakiga do not disappear. The crazy coughing around me was the same as before. But since it doesn't smell, the source couldn't be identified... In this way, I was able to live a group life in my late twenties and early thirties, without cheating or cheating, without being disliked by the open arms.

And last month, after I had been smoking cigarettes for the first time in my life, the smell became stronger. The deodorant stone, which is said to be the strongest in removing odors, doesn't work anymore. During the delivery of Uber Eats, I am waking up Wakiga to Max, while I am traveling around the crowded city, McDonald's, and each customer's house, so it is close to terrorism (only when delivering a kebab ).

But, as I said at the beginning, I don't really worry about my wakiga suffering from others. This is because the way of thinking has changed in the last few years. Let's go wakiga! I think positively. There was no need to worry and shame. If you think about it, I've done something awkward on my body. Putting a scalpel on the armpit and removing the apocrine gland is like a hedgehog squeezing all of the body's body. It's like giraffe getting surgery and shortening his neck.

The personal characteristics of the human body are always meaningful, no matter how negative they seem. Thanks to that feature, we have survived a severe competition for thousands and tens of thousands of years. In my case, I am today because I have inherited armpits for thousands of years and raised armpits. This odor is a height of art that has been honed and reached over tens of thousands of years of incredible time. If Wakiga was disliked in some generation and the apocryline was removed with a stone ax, my bloodline would have been cut off immediately. Besides, illusory is not ill, unlike illness. When a person is born, it is an Amazon-only initial purchase bonus ability that is provided as a given thing. I was convinced that the apocrine glands, which were still growing after inserting a female, had a tremendous necessity for my survival. To be honest, I'm sorry to do that.

There is absolutely no universal value. It just happens that a particular group of island nations in the Far East today are not accepting wakiga. It was swayed by a crowded train every morning, pushed into a small room all day long, absolutely obeyed the above command, and faced with the same human for a long time, which brought about the prosperity of the nation. Over a period of time, too much body odor was unpleasant. On the contrary, welcome conditions...Ikemen, high height, small face, slender, leg length etc. artificially created by Dentsu etc. as a value standard suitable for making people obedient and comfortable living in a group. People just take things and believe in them. What a person likes and dislikes is just one of the biased ideas of the myriad of options. The ability that is really necessary for an individual to survive is not something that others can arbitrarily decide. It shouldn't be easy to decide. You should listen to the voices of your ancestors who have survived the fierce competition for survival in your body.

As you can see, I always use the FANZA sample to make me squeeze in my female armpit licking video. In other words, I want to combine my own wakiga gene with the female wakiga gene to leave a species with a stronger wakiga for future generations. Instinct, not reason, encourages that. In other words, the will of the universe. Denying Wakiga is synonymous with going against God.

Indeed, Wakiga will ward off people with its unpleasant odor. But is it bad to keep people away or to be lonely?

no. Solitude is also a necessary condition for humans to survive.

What is the best preventive measure against today's raging coronavirus?

So far, you already know.

Humankind has been exposed to epidemics every few hundred years.

In today's information society, social distance is considered to be the best, and is transmitted to people. But what did humanity do before inventing letters and words?

There was no choice but to let the epidemic spread.

The distance between people was extremely high, and the mammoth BBQ way-way Leah was infected and died.

Meanwhile, there are some who have escaped the infection. It's the caveman who is always alone in a cave in the mountains, our progenitor, Wakiga.

Since ancient times, the Wakiga people have realized a social distance, whether they like it or not, by keeping people away with its unpleasant odor. And by being lonely, he has survived the epidemic of repeated plagues.

With the above, I tell Yukipoyo-like little girls.

What's important about after-corona is not good-looking, tall, small face, slender, or tall, nor do you have a hairstyle like a Korean-style idol and make a fool of way at Kawahara BBQ! Such is the illusion created by the ill-advised Adman, who forces Hakuhodo's two-block black-rimmed glasses, who extort the sense of being a Hinadan entertainer. They will eventually wipe out the green bubbles from their mouths and die crazy.

It's only wakiga, loneliness, that is, a man like me, that you should make your uterus squirm. If you were saying "I'm serious, but w" like you were at a convenience store, you're sure to be destined to regret it!

And one more important thing.

If any of your daughters had an underarm odor, please don't feel embarrassed. I don't want to apply deonature. I don't want a scalpel. It's worth more than Chanel's crap. Also, please do not shave your armpit hair. Because it is as beautiful as the wings of an angel.

Also, if you don't mind, please let my uncle lick the armpits. Ehe. I hope you squeeze it by pinching it on the side where the hair grows. Ehehe.

Thank you for your consideration.

[little-bookshelf-dragon]

February Wrap Up (Finally)

Okay! So I’m finally getting to this...five days late. Oops. Just to clear that up, I started a reading journal towards the end of February and wanted to do entries for the month of February before making this post. I’m hoping that this will help me organize my thoughts for my reviews. So I can actually... post reviews. 

Anyway. Here we go! I’m going to begin with my overall thoughts and then go into my stats and put reviews under the cut so if you haven’t read these books and want to avoid spoilers you can! 

Overall thoughts on this month’s reading: 

I DNF’d one-third of my TBR this month (two of six. I say one third like it’s so many more than that). It’s a little funny that I had so much more success with the books I hadn’t actually planned to read than my TBR. I’m also kind of surprised that I made it through some of the books that I did, when I DNF’d other books for similar reasons. I did go into this month knowing that this was going to be a difficult bunch of books to get through, 

I think I’m going to have to adjust my Goodreads reading challenge. I’ve already more than halfway through it and its only February. I'm honestly surprised. I didn’t think I was going to make it through the 52 I had planned.  

Stats for this month: 

Total Books Read (Finished): 18 

DNF’d Books: 2

Books I need to Finish: 4

All-Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages by Saundra Mitchell, et al. 

City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling

We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson 

Academic Books: 3

A Midsummer Night’s Dream by  Willaim Shakespeare 

Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen

Ratings: 

Five Stars: 5

Four Stars: 7

Three Stars: 4

Two Stars: 2

One Star:  0

Spoilery Reviews Under the Cut! 

DNF’d Books: 

Frozen by Melissa De LaCruz and Micheal Johnston

It was a weird book. In general. And then the Scene that implied sexual assault happened, and I had to stop reading. I just couldn’t bring myself to finish it. 

Ender’s Game By Orson Scott Card

I was having trouble getting into the book in the first place, and then I realized that these were six year old kids. Being trained for war. Against aliens. As I have a sister who’s six, this didn’t sit well with me. 

Two Star Books:

Echo by Alyson Noel 

I was really dissappointed in this book. I really enjoyed the first book in the Soul Seekers book, Fated. I liked the worldbuilding, the relationship between Daire and Dace, the concept of the Echo. But I had too many complaints about this book. Mainly with Cade. I feel like I could have liked him more if he had some actual development and clearer motivations. Though, I think the attempted rape scene was a little much (that’s an understatement.) I think it would be nice if there were a YA book where the female MC wasn’t assaulted, or at least that addresses it properly afterward. 

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

I’m honestly surprised that I finished this one, after I DNF’d another book for similar things happening. I didn't like Feyre much. She didn't seem to have much moe to her character other than painting and hunting. For someone who was meant to be so strong willed, she seemed to change her mind too easily. Rhysand...I don’t know where it start with him. He’s not much of one here, but it’s pretty obvious that they’re setting him up as a love interst in the later books. Can we stop having abusive boyfriends in YA lit? Tamlin was a little pathetic. Maybe don’t alienate the one person that’s your shot at freedom? Maybe? Feyre and Tamilin’s relationship was cute, but it wasn't really all that convincing. 

Three Star Books:

The Maze Runner by James Dashner

The Maze runner was good. I’m not sure if it was good enough to deserve the hype it received. I did not like that there was so much that was left unanswered in the beginning. It’s one thing to withhold information to create interest. It’s another to taunt your readers by having a character ask the questions, and the others refusing to give an answer. I did think the ending was an interesting twist, to stage a ‘rescue’ and then have it turn out to be apart of the trials. 

Love Drugged by James Klise 

There’s...a lot to unpack with this one. At first, the general premise made me feel a little sick. I almost stopped reading it several times thoughtout the book, especially when the chaacters described being gay as a disease. But by the time I finished, I think I understood better. Jamie was being mainipulated, not just by the doctor, but by society to think that way. His journey to discover and understand himself leads to his desperate actions in an effort to escape that manipulation. It’s heartbreaking to know that Jamie's thoughts were based off of off the author’s when he was around the same age.   

Take Two by Julia Devillers & Jennifer Roy 

I was kind of disappointed in this book. I loved the first one when I was younger, so the fact that I didn’t feel the same about the sequel is a let down. Though I guess that might have to do with the difference in age between the times I read them   

Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne 

Four Star books: 

Mockingjay by Suzzane Collins 

I cried so much reading this book. Katniss yelling at Buttercup at the end broke me. Her “for Prim” before the execution was beautiful (I’ll admit it took me some time to realize she was hinting at what she was planning to do.) Cinna having a part in the rebellion even after his death. The amount that Haymitch cares about Peeta and Katniss. UGH the feels. I did have a problem with the pacing. I felt like all the action was squeezed in at teh end. And Peeta and Katniss’s relationship seemed to seesaw between them in it’s one-sidedness throughout the series. 

Duel Of Fire by Jordan Rivet 

I did not expect to enjoy this book as much as I did. Especially at he beginning, I thought the characters were annoying. But that GROWTH. By the end, I loved the characters. I had a hunch about who the rebels were, but I wasn’t sure until they were revealed. I loved the magic system and world building, and I can’t wait to see how the story will be developed in the next book and the rest of the series. 

Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson

This was my first Brandon Sanderson book and I was not disappointed. The concept was interesting, the Epics having a specific weakness kept them from being overpowered, and I loved the fact that  the “Normal people” weere the heroes (For the most part.) I KNEW there was somehing up wiht Megan. But Steelheart’s weakness completely threw me off. I had so many theories, but I was wrong on all of them. That was a plot twist done well. 

City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare

(I’m actually not going to include my notes here because they turned into more of a rant at the characters than an actual reveiw) 

Galatea by Madaline Miller

I want more of this. Any additional content, I want it. It says something that she felt the only way to escape was to die (And take her husband with her). I REALLY want to know what happened with their daughter.  

The Skin I’m In by Sharon G. Flake 

This is a reread for me. I read tthis book when I, I believe,  was the same age as Maleeka. And at the time, while I had never been in the same situations she’s in, I could still relate to her. Now, as an adult working with students Maleeka’s age, I see my students. It gives me a better insight to what might be going on in their homes, thoughts, and attitudes. This is a book that so many of them should read, just like so many of them could use a Ms. Saunderson. 

A Midsummer Night’s Dream by Willaim Shakespeare

Five Star books:

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare 

This book. This book. I audiobooked most of it, which meant that I was listening to it in class while working. Which means I cried. During class. This is one of the few love triangles I think I’ve ever really liked and am actually emotionally invested in. I fully understand the hype around this series. I can't wait to pick up the next one.   

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

After finishing the audiobook, I'm sitting here trying to find the words to describe how much this means to me. How many of Xiomara's thoughts and feelings I relate to. And I just can't find the words. I can't remember the last time a book meant this much to me. Wanting to find my own voice. Beginning to question the religion that has been such a big part of my life for a long time. Feeling like I have to hide parts of myself, my thoughts, my feelings, everything I wish I could say but can't, from people I care about. Wanting my own writing to mean something to others. I wish I could put what I'm feeling into words, but I'm struggling. I cried. I need a copy of this book. I loved it so much.

Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen

I feel like Dessen’s books follow a pattern. I’ve only read three so far, but I’m able to see the similarities. However, that dosn't stop them from being unique. Sydney’s problems are different from Macy’s, whose are different from Collie’s. So while the books are similar enought to notice a pattern,  they’re unique enough to keep the reader’s interest. I wouldn’t say that Saint Anything has impacted me as much as some books have, but I did still enjoy it. Also, a moment of appreciation for instances of sexual assault handled correctly? It's rare to see the subject addressed in a book after it happens. Though I would have loved to see Ames prosecuted. We need to tell girls it's okay to speak up about these things.

Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan

I loved this. I’m not even sue how to put it all inot words. First of all, Saskia getting expelled? Excellent. That girl made me so mad. Messing with Lila’s feelings was bad enough, but hen going stalker, assualting her, and then outing her to the entire school? I think I would have liked to see even more of a punishment, honestly. Maybe someting from her parents. LISA. I loved Lisa. I’m so happy she and Leila ended up together. They both deserved to be happy and I’m so happy they got to be happy together. I was so emotional after finishing this book.  

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen 

I’m not going to go too in depth because then this would be way too long but this is my favorite book that I’ve had to read for a calss. Ever. 

[everlasting-gospel]

New Post has been published on Present Truth

New Post has been published on https://presenttruth.info/what-is-the-gospel-aug-nov-2018/

What is the Gospel? – Aug-Nov 2018

Jesus said, “Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature” (Mark 16:15). We are to preach the gospel to everyone, but what is it? The Bible says, “How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!” (Romans 10:15). The gospel is good news of peace. When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, a multitude of angels sang, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men” (Luke 2:14). The gospel is the good news about God’s gift of salvation to bring peace and good will to humanity.

Paul proclaimed, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. For therein is the righteousness of God revealed…” (Romans 1:16, 17). The gospel is so powerful because it reveals God’s righteousness; His goodness. And “His goodness” is what leads us to “repentance” (Romans 2:4). Notice that it is the “goodness” of God that leads us to repentance, not His scolding or correction. Those things are not what lead us to repentance. If you are trying to scare people into heaven, you are going about it the wrong way. His love will draw them (John 12:32).

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I used to be a heavy drug user and a drug dealer. At that time, I knew I was living wrong and I thought God didn’t love me. I thought He loved good people who do good stuff, but not people like me. Boy, was I wrong! (Romans 5:8; Luke 19:10). One night I was having a drug party at my house. I went into my bedroom to get something and God impressed me that I was a lost sinner going to hell and that He loves me and wants me to go to heaven. That was a huge surprise to me. The realization that God cares for me, personally, was foreign to what I_believed about God; I thought He was mad at me. That revelation of God’s goodness changed my life forever. I immediately decided to follow God. I saw goodness in Him that I wanted. It was God’s goodness that led me to repentance. Two months later (October 1991) I was born again (John 3:3-7), and was radically transformed instantly. I have not done drugs since. (If you would like to read my conversion story, request a free copy of Rescued from Addiction.)

What is Repentance?

Jesus said, “They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance” (Mark 2:17). Repentance is “a change of mind” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon). It means, “to be sorry, …regret” (Brown-Driver-Brigg’s Hebrew Lexicon). David wrote, “For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin” (Psalms 38:18; see also 2 Corinthians 7:10).

Repentance involves viewing things differently, and realizing the sins you committed did you no good. The Bible says, “He looketh upon men, and if any say, I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not; He will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light” (Job 33:27, 28).

Repentance requires facing the reality that “My way of doing things has not been working out.” Say to God, “I am sorry for my sins, please come into my heart and change me so I will not do it again.” God wants us to come to the point where we are ready to lay ourselves at God’s feet to be transformed. This is the first step of conversion.

Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it” (Luke 9:23, 24). Notice that the first step to following Jesus is not to say a prayer to get to heaven. Instead, it is to yield your life whole-heartedly to God to be transformed into His likeness (Romans 8:29).

There are three steps to conversion, 1) deny yourself, 2) take up your cross daily, 3) follow Jesus. These steps must be taken in this order or there will be no true success. Let us make sure we understand these steps.

To deny yourself means to abandon your old life; which is called the “old man” (Romans 6:6; Ephesians 4:22; Colossians 3:9). For the rich young ruler this meant to sell everything and give to the poor, then “take up the cross, and follow” Jesus (Mark 10:21). God does not ask everyone to sell all of their possessions, but He does ask everyone to give everything to God to use as He wills.

To explain what it means to deny yourself, Jesus said in the next verse, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it” (Luke 9:24). Your old life with its ambitions and goals is not worth saving. If you try to save it, you will lose it anyway. Go ahead and give it up now, lose it for Jesus’ sake. Don’t hurt yourself, but give yourself 100% to God without holding anything back. This is the first step of repentance. Without that, you cannot be a disciple of Christ. For He said, “…whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:33). If you do not make this first step, then trying to follow Jesus will not work.

To take up your cross means dying. Paul proclaimed, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). Let it be clear, salvation is not about saying a prayer to go to heaven, but about yielding your life to God to be transformed into His image (Romans 8:29; 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:18; 5:17).

Don’t settle for normal Christianity, be extraordinary, live supernaturally, for that is what God has provided for us (John 1:12; 2 Peter 1:3, 4; 2 Corinthians 10:4-6). Remember, “…wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat” (Matthew 7:13). Jesus said, “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity [sin]” (Matthew 7:21-23).

Following Christ is a total life transformation and God Has provided everything so that can take place. God wants us all to be saved, for He is “…not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). Jesus said, “…repent ye, and believe the gospel” (Mark 1:15). The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). We are weak, but God is strong, for “greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world” (1 John 4:4).

Remember that success in our walk with the Lord is not dependent upon our works, but His power and goodness. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22). Notice that these amazing characteristics are the fruit of the Spirit, not the fruit of our efforts. We have to cooperate with God by yielding to the work of His Spirit in our lives by faith in His promises (2 Peter 1:3, 4; Colossians 1:29). True obedience flows from within, from the love of God in our hearts (1 John 2:5; Romans 5:5; John 5:42; 1 John 3:17).

“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13). Repentance includes a change of mind and being sorry for our sins, and turning from them, but what is sin?

The Definition of Sin

The Bible says, “Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law” (1 John 3:4). The Greek word translated “sin” here means “to miss the mark… to wander from the law of God, violate God’s law” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon). It is “the transgression of the law,” which is “the condition of without law …contempt and violation of law, iniquity, wickedness” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon). Sin is the outworking of the principle of selfishness which is at war with the great law of love; it is transgressing the law.

The Bible explains, “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death” (James 1:14, 15). Temptation begins by being drawn away of our own lust and enticed. At that stage, there is no sin. It is not until those desires conceive that they bring forth sin. There is a saying, “You can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop him from building a nest there.” You can’t stop evil thoughts from entering your mind, but you can stop them from becoming a part of you. Don’t claim the thoughts as your own, they are foreigners. If evil thoughts are cherished and accepted then they bring forth sin. Sin is brought forth in thought before an outward action takes place. Once you make the decision to follow evil desires lust has conceived, you have claimed it as your own and decided to let it become a part of you. This is sin even if something prevents you from committing the act.

Jesus said, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:27, 28). Jesus broadened our views of the law to reach deeper than the letter of the law, for part of His mission was to “magnify the law, and make it honourable” (Isaiah 42:21). He helped us to see that God’s “commandment is exceeding broad” (Psalms 119:96). Notice, Jesus was not saying that to be drawn away of your own lust, and enticed is sin, but that looking at a woman for the purpose of lusting after her is sin. This involves a decision to stare at a woman to gratify sinful desires. If not brought into captivity to Christ, forbidden thoughts that are dwelt upon and desired are sin.

Paul wrote, “…I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet” (Romans 7:7). The law reveals our true condition and leads us to Christ (Galatians 3:24; John 5:39; 1 Timothy 1:9). Paul states that the Tenth Commandment makes known lust. The Tenth Commandment forbids coveting (lusting for) the possessions or wife of your neighbor (Exodus 20:17). Yet, God had already forbidden adultery and stealing in Commandments Seven and Eight (verses 14, 15), so why did He add the Tenth Commandment? He wanted to help us identify sinful desires, and recognize that following them is transgressing the law even if it is only done in our thoughts.

The Greek word ανομια-anomia (Strong’s #458) that was translated “the transgression of the law” in 1 John 3:4 is the noun form of the adjective ανομος-anomos (Strong’s #459) “without law.” The adjective anomos is the description of things that are without law, the noun anomia is the principle of lawlessness in action either by thought or deed.

To understand the principle a little better it helps to understand the word itself. The last part of the word ανομος-anomos is νομος-nomos, which is “law.” Anomos is “without law.” When the letter “a” is added as a prefix in front of a Greek word it means “without.” In English this practice is preserved in some words such as theist and atheist; moral and amoral; cellular and acellular, etc.

So, in reality, anomos is not a thing, but the lack of something; in this case, the lack of “law.” Some other Biblical explanations of the outworking of this selfish principle include, “All unrighteousness is sin” (1 John 5:17) and “whatsoever is not of faith is sin” (Romans 14:23). Again, we can see this is speaking about the lack of something, the lack of faith, the lack of righteousness, the lack of law. These are all in perfect agreement. Sin is the outworking of the principle of selfishness, which falls short of God’s perfect character of selfless love. If you are without righteousness, you will live unrighteously. If you are without faith, you will live faithlessly. If you are without law, you will live lawlessly. If you are without love you will live selfishly.

There is no such thing as darkness. It is not a real thing it is just the lack of light. If it is too bright in a room you cannot shine a dark beam to darken the room. Instead, you must find ways to shut out the light. Darkness is the absence of light. There is no such thing as cold; it is just the absence of heat. To make things colder you can’t add cold, you must remove heat. There is no such thing as death, rather it is just the absence of life. I am a first responder for the Fire Department. When we arrive at a scene where a person is injured, the first thing we do is look for signs of life. Is there a heartbeat? Are they breathing? We do not look for death, but for life. If there is no life nor signs compatible with life, then we conclude they are dead, not because we found something called death, but we could not find life.

Sin is the outworking of the principle of selfishness, which is being absent of God’s goodness, and He only is good (Mark 10:18). The heart of the commandment is unconditional love (Matthew 24:37-40; Romans 13:8-10). And “love is of God” (1 John 4:7). The only way a person can love is if he has God’s Spirit living in him. If a person is missing God’s love, he is living in sin; he is not connected to God’s righteousness, His goodness, His life. Therefore, he is abiding in death, in darkness (1 John 3:14), even if he does things that look good to others.

The Solution

So, what is the solution to the sin problem? Is it to clean up the actions alone? No! That will leave us like the Pharisees or Laodiceans (Matthew 23:25-28; Revelation 3:14-21). Sinful actions are only a symptom of the real problem; they reveal that we are missing something. If we stop at cleaning up our actions, we have missed the point. Our problem is the lack of something, or more specifically someone. Jesus is the one who brings true righteousness, true faith, true love, true life, and the living law. Without Him we “can do nothing” (John 15:5), with Him we “can do all things” (Philippians 4:13).

Jesus said, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). He also said, “He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life” (John 5:24). The Bible says, “And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life” (1 John 5:11, 12). If we have the Son of God living in our hearts we have passed from death to life, and the life of Jesus will “…be made manifest in our mortal flesh” (2 Corinthians 4:11). The Bible gives us a sure sign that the Son of God has taken up residence in our hearts: “We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death” (1 John 3:14).

It seems strange that a person can abide in death while he is alive. Yet, the Bible says, “But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth” (1 Timothy 5:6). The death described here is not physical death, but spiritual death. Death is “the loss of that life which alone is worthy of the name” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon). Death is the absence of life, spiritual death is the absence of spiritual life. “For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God” (Romans 8:6-8). “For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify [put to death] the deeds of the body, ye shall live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God” (Romans 8:13, 14).

Wait a minute; aren’t we always going to be in this sinful flesh until Jesus comes? How can God expect us to put to death the deeds of the flesh when we are living in this body? God sent His Son to give us freedom from the lusts of the flesh. “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” (Romans 8:2-4). Let that sink in. We can be free from “the law of sin;” the pull of sin (Romans 7:23). The pull will still be there, but it can be overcome by the Spirit of life in Christ! Hallelujah!

Freedom in Christ

I know that many have been taught that freedom from sin in this life is impossible, but the Bible says it is possible. I am glad for that because I don’t like being held captive to sin. I want freedom, complete freedom, and God has made that a reality by sending His Son into this world to experience temptation and gain the victory on every point so He can give us the victory. He “was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). “Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). “For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour [help] them that are tempted” (Hebrews 2:18). “But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:57). Jesus promised, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.… Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.… If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed” (John 8:32, 34, 36).

Friends, God has given us “all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust” (2 Peter 1:3, 4). God has made it possible for us to escape the corruption that is in the world through lust. He can “keep you from falling” (Jude 1:24). There is freedom in Jesus! “(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled” (2 Corinthians 10:4-6).

Every thought can be brought into the obedience of Christ. That is wonderful! The biggest obstacle to living a victorious life is the belief that it is neither possible nor expected. If it were not possible, God would not have given us so many exceeding great and precious promises saying that it is possible. If victory over sin is not possible, how much sin is acceptable? Should we tell the axe murderer that he is free to continue murdering? Shall we tell the adulterer they are free to continue wrecking families? Should we tell the thief he is free to continue stealing? Should we tell the pagan idol worshiper he is free to continue practicing idolatry? The Bible says, “Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity” (2 Timothy 2:19).

“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9, 10). “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.… And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” (Galatians 5:19-21, 24).

If we tell people they can continue these practices and still go to heaven, we are telling them a lie, and Jesus will tell them, “I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity” (Matthew 7:23). If we are lying to people about this, He will tell us the same thing, for Jesus said, “Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:19).

Many preachers give the message to their listeners that they will never be free from every sin, and that they should just sin a little less than they did before becoming a Christian. This presents a dichotomy that should not exist. If God can deliver us from some sins, why can’t He do it for all of them? (John 8:32-36). The carnal heart wants to cling to some of the old lifestyle, but Jesus said, all or nothing. We must lose our lives for Him, deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him (Luke 9:23, 24; 14:33).

Friends, this is not bad news! God knows everything and loves us unconditionally. His instructions for our lives are far better than anything we can devise. Trust Him completely, fully surrender, and the joy and peace you will experience is much greater than words can express (1 Peter 1:8).

The New Birth

The incredible joy of full surrender cannot be experienced until you are born again. Jesus said, “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.… Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again” (John 3:3-7).

You must be born again! Nothing else matters until this is a reality in your life. Make sure you know what this means and how it is accomplished. You were born of the flesh on your birthday, but you are born of the Spirit when you open the door of your heart and invite Jesus to live in you by His Spirit. (Please request the booklet, You Must be Born Again for a deeper study on this vital topic.)

Why do we have to be born again? Isn’t our first birth good enough? No! In our first birth we were born with a natural tendency to sin. I am not saying we are born sinners, but that we are born with a strong disposition to sin. It is so strong that every human born onto this planet, given enough time, will naturally act selfishly and manifest sinful characteristics. There is only one exception to this, and that is Jesus Christ who “is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners” (Hebrews 7:26). “…in him is no sin” (1 John 3:5). He “loved righteousness, and hated iniquity” (Hebrews 1:9). He delighted to do God’s will, for His law was in His heart (Psalm 40:8). He was born “of the Holy Ghost” (Matthew 1:20). He was “born of God” (1 John 5:1) from the beginning of His time on earth. He did not have to be born again.

This cannot be said of any other human who was born on this planet. We have all “gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6). “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one” (Romans 3:10-12). “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

Out of the billions of people who have been born on this planet, Jesus is the only one who lived a continual life of victory over sin. He lived this way because He was born “of the Holy Ghost,” “born of God,” and He continually yielded Himself to His Father’s will. We were not born this way, and that is why we “must be born again” “born of the Spirit” (John 3:7, 6). Jesus did not live the way He did because He had exceptional parents. He did have great parents, but that is not what made Him so exceptional, for even his brothers and sisters who had the same upbringing were sinners like the rest of us (Mark 6:3).

Am I saying that Jesus was different than us? Yes, and no. He partook of the exact same sinful flesh that all of us are born with (Romans 8:3; Hebrews 2:14-18). This enabled Him to be “in all points tempted like as we are” (Hebrews 4:15). Yet, because He was born of the Spirit He was able to live “without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). He still had to choose every moment to submit to His Father. He did this knowing that God’s ways are the best option available (John 12:49, 50). (Request the study, “The Faith of the Son of God” for deeper insight into His faith.)

Jesus was different than us in that He was “born of the Spirit,” and “born of God” from the beginning. He “loved righteousness, and hated iniquity” (Hebrews 1:9). He demonstrated how we can live when we become partakers of the divine nature as He was. He had something better than those who have not been born again, but He offers this advantage to us through the new birth (1 John 5:4; 3:9; 4:7; 5:18; 2:29; John 1:12, 13). Therefore, He had no advantage over a born again Christian.

Some think that He had nothing better than everyone else. If that were true then He would have nothing to offer us; there would be no benefit of the new birth. He had an advantage, but He gives this to us so that we are on an equal level with Him in relation to sin. Praise God! He is able to live in us by His Spirit to transform us from the inside out (Romans 8:2-4). Let Him in by opening the door of your heart and inviting Him in (Revelation 3:20).

The 1st and 2nd Deaths

When Adam sinned he plunged the world hopelessly into death. “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned” (Romans 5:12). Everyone must suffer death because of what Adam did. “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27).

This death that passes upon all men is not the end of the story, for afterward there is a judgment. Everyone must die because of what Adam did, for after his sin he could pass on no higher nature than his fallen, sinful flesh (Genesis 5:3). His entire offspring share in his sinful nature and in the consequence of his sin which is death. We are not guilty, for we had no choice in the matter, yet we still must die.

God does not offer to save us from this death, for even after we are saved by faith in Christ, we still must suffer death. “For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive” (1 Corinthians 15:22). Praise God! He provided a way for all men to be made alive again. Even though the first death is not avoided, we have been given another chance, a second probation. All men die the first death because of what Adam did, but those who die the second death will do so because of their own sins (Revelation 20:6, 11-15). (For a thorough study on the first and second deaths, request a free copy of God’s Love Revealed in Hell.) The Bible says, “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23). It is the second death that is the wages of sin, not the first. Some have gotten confused from reading Romans chapter 5, mixing up the distinction between the first and second deaths. It was the first death that passed upon all men, not the second. Jesus made a way to reverse the effects of the first death, bringing all men back to life in the resurrection (Acts 24:15).

Some churches mix this up concluding that Adam’s sin brings the second death. Therefore, they baptize infants to try to keep them out of hell. They are mistaken. Adam’s sin only brought the first death, and baptizing an infant will not reverse that, nor change their natures. Also, baptizing an infant will do nothing to remove their guilt because infants do not have guilt since they have not reached the age to know to choose good or evil (Isaiah 7:16). Infants could not die for their own sins because they don’t have any. When you read about death in the Bible make sure you check the context to know whether it is talking about the first or the second death (Revelation 21:8).

The Root of the Problem

We are born with a natural pull toward evil, kind of like a very powerful magnet drawing us toward sin. The more sin is practiced, the more strongly that pull becomes. The Bible says, “Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil” (Ecclesiastes 8:11). The heart becomes more and more corrupt as sin is practiced, and it is more difficult to make good choices. “Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil” (Jeremiah 13:23).

Jesus said, “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies” (Matthew 15:19). All of these sins come out of a corrupt heart. Jesus explained, “Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit. O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things” (Matthew 12:33-35). You see, sin is not the main problem, but a side effect of a deeper problem; a corrupt heart.

It is a waste of time to try to clean up the actions without dealing with the root of the problem. Jesus said, “Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness. Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity” (Matthew 23:26-28). If we only deal with actions in our struggle with sin, we will be left corrupt on the inside, while appearing righteous on the outside. This will leave us outside of the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus said, “Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit” (Matthew 7:17, 18). James questioned, “Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh” (James 3:11, 12).

The Bible identifies our real problem as a “heart” issue, “a corrupt tree,” or bitter “fountain.” If sin is being manifested in your life, focus on the root of the problem, your corrupt heart. Make sure that gets taken care of, or all your other efforts will be in vain. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). Jesus said, “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing” (John 15:5).

Conclusion

The gospel proclaims “liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound” (Isaiah 61:1). Jesus came to set the captives free from “the bond of iniquity” (Acts 8:23), “the cords of his sins” (Proverbs 5:22). You can be free on the inside regardless of what circumstances you are facing on the outside. Jesus can make you “free from sin” (Romans 6:18, 22; see also John 8:32, 34, 36). He does this by introducing a new principle into the human experience, “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2).

Practicing sin has caused us to be bent so far down toward sin (Hosea 11:7) that it is impossible to live victoriously until that bond to sin is broken (Romans 8:7, 8). This is accomplished by being born again by the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus. This does several things. First, God removes our corrupt heart bent toward sin (Ezekiel 36:26), setting us free from the chains that have bound us. He then gives us a new heart of flesh, giving us a fresh start, just as though we had never sinned (Romans 3:25; 1 John 1:9). Next, He puts His Spirit within us to lead us to make good choices (Ezekiel 36:27; Romans 8:14). At this point we are brand new creatures. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

This does not remove the temptations to sin, but since the chains we have established by sin have been broken, and a stronger magnet toward righteousness has been implanted to counteract the pull of sin (1 John 4:4), our lives are totally transformed. Now we have the freedom to choose to follow the promptings of God’s Spirit and allow “the life also of Jesus” to “be made manifest in our mortal flesh” (2 Corinthians 4:11). It is no longer you who directs your life according to your own lusts, but now you continually choose to “yield yourselves unto God” (Romans 6:13, 16, 19). This is something that could not be accomplished before the chains were broken and Christ is living within by His Spirit (Galatians 2:20).

I know this from firsthand experience. I was a drug addict bound by the chains of sin (Job 36:8; Proverbs 5:22). I tried to quit several times but failed. When I read the following verse, it changed my life forever: God promised, “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them” (Ezekiel 36:26, 27). My dad told me to ask God to give me a new heart and invite Jesus to live in my heart. He said, “You will not feel anything happen, but just believe that God gives you a new heart because He promised, and then don’t stop believing you have a new heart. After a few days you will notice there has been a change.” That was the best advice I have ever received.

I asked God to give me a new heart and invited Jesus to live in my new heart. I couldn’t feel anything happen, but I believed it was real because God promised. I came away from that prayer so excited, knowing that I am a new person and that now Jesus is living in me. After a few days it was just like my dad had told me, I noticed that I was responding to things differently. Before, if someone did something mean to me I would immediately want to get even. But after God gave me a new heart, that desire did not even come up; instead I felt sorry for the person and wanted to help them. That was foreign to the way I lived before. I knew that something major had changed. “We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren” (1 John 3:14). This new response was the Spirit of Christ Who when He was being crucified asked His Father to forgive His persecutors (Luke 23:34). Jesus, “when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not” (1 Peter 2:23).

The new birth is a radical transformation that takes place. You may not notice it as drastically as I did when I experienced it, but it is just as amazing. Ask and believe that God has given you a new heart, and it will be a reality. Just don’t stop believing! Invite Jesus into your heart (Revelation 3:20), and a new life will transform you. He enters your heart by faith, and He remains there the same way. Christ will “dwell in your hearts by faith” (Ephesians 3:17). “As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him” (Colossians 2:6).

I pray that you truly experience all the blessings that God has provided for you, and that your life will be a witness to that fact. Go and live the life you were created for. Be a window for “the glorious gospel of Christ” to shine through every aspect of your life.

[dorothyliker420]

huuhhoOh my GOD slrprfrsrfl(more lip licking noises)ooooh my GOd whoaoaohah. *huffing* a completeed chorus 2! HOLY SHIT oh my gohd

(silky made me this image as per request ily silky)

WELL HERE WE GO!!!!!!! A COMPLETED CHORUS CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!! CLOCKING IN AT 20,588 FUCKING WORDS AND 45 PAGES IN GOOGLE DOCS! lets see how many bs words I can add to that count am I right ladies

because of, I dont know, any italicization or bolding in the text itself was lost when I copy/pasted it to here so I guess the Experience isnt as Deep BUT ITS ALL GOOD ANYWAY because only I get to type in bold. thats how you know its me and not a rabble, but I also italicized lines that I really wanted to talk about

ill put all the Canon Real Text in an indent tho happy reading,

A Long Awaited Duet ---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------

The new canon is that in between those dashes is a really terrible swear word that the author censored with asterisks. only he knows it and he’ll unleash it when you criticize his fic

Pacing quickly around her room in a long, frustrated circle, Lisette’s worries were quickly drawing to a boiling point.

lisette’s circles make me long and frustrated am I right fellow dudes

Typically, she was a very easy-going person, the kind of girl who’d shrug off most concerns and instead focus on keeping a positive outlook. However, after spending her entire morning going through the motions, feeling trapped in a listless, uneasy funk, even she couldn’t help but be affected. It was almost noon already and still she couldn’t move her thoughts past yesterday’s tea party, to the look she’d seen weathered across Alto’s face.

Lisette is right to be threatened and uneasy. this is like the scene in the opening where the village is getting crystallized and its too late for rosa and shes like SAVE YOURSELF except instead its sexification

She hadn’t had the courage to say anything at the time, but it had haunted her thoughts ever since. Making it worse, when she’d attempted to find her mother to ask her for her advice, she hadn’t been able to find her anywhere, so she’d wound up simply spending the previous night with Marie.

the ghosts of the last chapter vaguely implying alto is too horney to sleep in the same bed as marie have returned and im frightened

“He’s… he’s still on edge, isn’t he?”

It wasn’t right. The fighting was over and peace had been won, but even when he should have been relaxing with his friends, Alto was still wearing the same guarded, strained expression. It was the same heart-breaking look she’d seen from her friend all throughout their battles, at all the times she’d stood at his die, watching him make the most difficult decisions of his life.

STOOD AT HIS DIE

She didn’t think any of the others had noticed. Perhaps she was the only one that would even be able to recognise the difference, after all, she was the only one who’d known him before all this. Back in Mithra he hadn’t been anything like that, he’d smiled freely and his gaze had was always carefree, to the point of being cheeky. Their entire lives had changed ever since she became a Witch and he followed to become her Knight… but she’d always hoped all this time that it could still return to how it was when everything was finally over.

“No,” she corrected herself, her body sagging with a deep sigh. There wasn’t any point lying to herself about this, “I’m not that naïve, I always knew it wouldn’t be that easy…”

“gee” said lisette out loud to herself with no one else around, “I am lisette from the video game stella glow. I am five foot four and my blood type is

Because, she knew Alto. And she knew, for him, that it had never been about the battles. He didn’t fear fighting, he would recklessly throw himself into danger without even a second’s thought if it meant he could help someone. As she’d told him so many times, his overwhelming compassion was both his best and worst trait. He was courageous to the point of stupidity, all he cared about was protecting the people important to him, keeping the people he loved safe and happy, as best he could. That was all the fighting had ever meant to him. And that was why she’d always known it couldn’t possibly be that easy for him.

im giving this alto analysis a 2 alto is a liberal degenerate who really loves hunting and also u dont know anything about him jl “AWOOOGAA” davenport if u tell me about him again ill kill you

Crying out in annoyance, Lisette slumped across the room and threw herself onto her bed, sinking deep into the large, soft mattress as if to try let it absorb a fraction of her worries.

I cannot shake the feeling he was thinkin bout her tiddies when he wrote this

‘Alto’s still fighting, even now,’ she knew that. It was a truth she’d struggled to deal with for days now, ‘The war isn’t over for him yet, because he’s still pushing himself to try find a way to keep every one of us happy.’

fuckin dumb ass horny ass bitch. mediocre ass, pathetic ass, money grubbing, fucking stupid bitch ass you dont put apostrophes around thoughts its ugly as shit

It was a painful thought, the elephant in the room and something she hated thinking about. But somehow, not thinking about it, pretending to simply ignore had become even worse.

does lisette know what an elephant is. does that expression exist. this is third person limited so its kind of weird to use that kind of anachronism

After all, if Alto was still fighting, then she wanted to fight alongside him! She was his family, his comrade, his first Witch and even his (prospective) girlfriend,

I had to cut this off because it was next level dumbshit literally anyone is his prospective girlfriend with that state of their relationship. im his prospective girlfriend 

there wasn’t a single part of her that wanted to do anything less than to support him with all her might. He was a part of her soul. He was the man she loved and someone who she would never allow herself to be separated from, she’d known those feelings for absolute certainty ever since the moment she’d woken up from death’s door and travelled around the world to stand at his side. Just thinking about him wracking himself with worries and her not helping him was terrifying!

1. 

2. that last sentence is the worst written thing in, if not human existence, then the century

And, she spared a glance over at the mirror she’d been avoiding looking at all day, even aside from that, could she really say she was any different? Was she truly able to smile like before, only because their fighting was over?

hackles raised at the prospect of mirror kink

Lisette gave a dry laugh, reaching out and squeezing the small stuffed pig Popo had given her, pressing it against her considerable chest. 

1. the pig is kinda cute like maybe but who tf is vending these smutfic items. who is crawling around in the back alleys selling cursed objects that make people horny as fuck. did ewan make a deal with the devil to sell all his twilight-zone-monkey-paw shit from his brief sponsorship with baddragon

2. die

3. lisette’s chest is CONSIDERABLE all right. it makes me CONSIDER ending it all

For all their outward appearances, in this, at least, she doubted it was any different from any of the others, no doubt that was why everything had seemed so off lately, “We’re all just stuck in limbo, aren’t we?”

this is the longest string of indirect pronouns ever like whomst??? and what an eerie sentence to end a section on. though u kno what stay in limbo

---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------

those dashes are containing the massive power of the cuss word. if even one of them falters or breaks formation the sheer obscenity would vaporize us all

Unfortunately for Lisette, her self-examination came with no easy answers or steps forward. Even though she’d accepted that being stuck in place as they were was only making things worse for all of them and particularly for Alto, there was no obvious solution she could latch onto, to change things.

this literally picks up? exactly where the previous section ended? like. with information that flows from the previous paragraph. if youre going to make that fucking big then why is it functionally useless

However, now more than ever, she was a determined woman and slowly -as the time passed and the morning faded away into early afternoon- slowly, her resolve held out and she was able to fearlessly consider even the truths she’d previously tried so hard to avoid.

why is this the ugliest formatting ive ever seen have you ever heard of an em dash or, a comma. also im losing shit at Determination Resolve Holding Out Shes Never Done This wasnt this like the sole bad point of her tunings

She knew she loved Alto, that he was the only man who’d ever made her feel complete 

But, she also knew that the other Witches felt just the same, she forced herself to accept the fact that he was just as important to them as he was to her.

ok nvm im not done being pissed at The Only Man like yeah lisette its called comphet im rewriting this so that lisette realizes shes a lesbian and also that whole Complete Her thing is all of whats wrong with lisettes arc like all of it this is what men do

It was something they’d all consciously avoided discussing, something that none of them seemed to know how to deal with. Her companions, the other Witches, were all as close as family to her, she loved them all dearly… And yet, they were all competing, in their own way, for the same man.

alto is three years old

She was sure they must feel just as awkward about that as her, there was a reason why even the ever impulsive Popo or the harsh-blunt Sakuya 

tell u whats harshing my blunt........this fic ((takes a weed puff

had never said anything and why, no matter how much they talked and how much they shared, this single topic was never once addressed directly, they’d all been working on the same process as her- that it was too strange a situation and too difficult a conversation to deal with, that the best thing to do was simply wait till after the war when Alto would be able to reciprocate their feelings, and then there the problem would solve itself. Well… The war was over. And they were all still tiptoeing around each other’s hearts, all waiting for the same response from the same man. “We must all seem so silly.”

tf were they supposed to do to address it? like lets just accept the gross situation but was they supposed to so call everyone to a room lisette spins around in a big chair and says We’re Here To Discuss The Het or maybe this happens

She could just imagine how ridiculous this situation must appear from the outside; five best friends all in love with the same man, all waiting for him to respond to their feelings and all marooned in the same silent stand-off, walking on eggshells while pretending everything was fine. No doubt her mother found it hilarious.

thats the worst line ive ever seen in my life. oedipus rex has nothing on this bitch

that aside like accepting them all as comphets for the moment. literally never interacted on a regular basis with another boy their age. except hilda I guess but it doesnt matter this is so dumb! yall is a bunch of trauma victims you cant just jump directly into the boinking

“Grrr! This is all your fault Alto! Stupid! Since when did you get so popular anyway!? You weren’t like that in Mithra! You’re just… you’re just too dependable… You mean so much to all of us, we can’t help but love you…”

deadass u told me this was dialogue from the anime where the tiddies bounced when the girl blinked? id believe it

He was their conductor. They all loved him. They all wanted to be with him. They were all waiting for him to favour only them…

dont like how its treated that its an absolute that witches will just fall for their conductor thats like sayin no one is safe around bi ppl. reach perhaps but its the same dumbass ideas

Perhaps that was the worst part of all. The more she thought about it, the more she was starting to realise just what an impossible situation their feelings and expectations had put Alto into. She knew better than anyone just how much he cared for each of them, she’d healed the scars on his body time and again that showed just how far he’d go to protect any of them… And yet, without ever really thinking how, they were all still asking him to then choose between them, to decide which of his Witches he loved the most.

but also I just had the revelation that author does not know what romantic love is like, at all, and the smoke cleared I am enlightened and theres nothing I dont understand

And, she couldn’t help him at all, could barely even support him in what must be an incredibly painful choice for him. All she could do was leave it to him, and trust that when he did choose, that he felt the same way about her as she did about him and they would finally be together. As for the rest… She didn’t know… The thought of him choosing one of the others over her was almost too painful, to terrifying to consider, but the knowledge that her friends would have to go through that was no less terrible…

tired of u demonizing r*mantic love. fuck its th most exhilarating experience of my life. that and having a baby shark sit in my hands. dont give all these Oh No People Get Hurt to justify just fuckin whoever u want

That was the mire they were all stuck in. That was why Alto was still looking so stressed and why none of them had been able to move forwards. There wasn’t anything any of them could do and there was no way to make everyone happy. She frowned bitterly. ‘…Would… Would it even make us happy?’

me, who had never been as happy as I am prior to being in love: hell yeah bitch dis go hard as hell flocka

It was a strange thing to consider, something she’d never once thought before this very moment- she’d thought for so long she was waiting for Alto to return her feelings, she’d wanted so long to be with him and to be together forever. But, would she really be happy like that? Could she truly be happy being with the man she loved at the expense of watching the companions she held dear, the friends she’d bled and cried together with, becoming heartbroken? Mordi, Popo, Sakuya, and especially Hilda, after all they’d been through, after how important she knew Alto was to each of them… Her heart clenched in her chest just imagining it!

if this is a question then ur not in romantic love idiot! shut up

But… That was how it had to be, wasn’t it? They’d all been foolish enough to fall for the same man, there was only one Alto. No.

dumps the big ass mess of gl***ng pr**e poly edits here but im not saving it to my computer so u gotta imagine it

Lisette propped herself up on the bed, a previously unfathomable conclusion quickly becoming clear to her. No. She couldn’t accept that. And Alto surely wouldn’t accept that. He’d never accepted that they couldn’t stop the Eclipse. He hadn’t accepted that they couldn’t fight against God. And, at the end of everything, he’d refused to accept that Mother Qualia had to be their enemy. A solution that put the entire burden on Alto and led to all her friends being heartbroken? How could she ever accept that!? How could she ever have thought something like that would make her happy!? That wasn’t how they worked! They were the Tuning Knights, humans that had defeated God and saved Marie! They would never accept such a lukewarm compromise.

fucking................mormons..................................

‘Well now,’ she laughed, ‘If I really think about it, the solution is pretty obvious, isn’t it?’ It was reckless and crazy, nothing at all like anything she’d ever imagined herself doing… But then, didn’t that just make it the same as everything else they’d done?

this isnt even how polyamory works!!!!!!!! sorry im not being funny I just really value r*mant*c love and listen NO ONE would just sit down and think “yes clearly the healthiest thing for the person my heart is devoted to is to juggle 6 relationships”

“Yup! I’m not gonna accept anything like that!” ultimately, all that mattered was the same conclusion she’d come to, ever since she’d returned to life. She already knew what she wanted, she just had to make it happen, “Alto, I’m by your side. Always. I’ll support you!”

hi im lisette and this is my boyfriend alto! we’re queering heterosexuality by having him fuck a ton of girls at once! swipe right if you want to hop on that dick. no gays allowed

---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------

me: this is bad content

jldavenport: h*mg*n*n*l*b*ng*s*gl*m

me: vaporized in silhouette against the wall from the sheer power

Finishing off a long day of meetings, reports and training, clad in his usual attire (sans the armour,

oh shit its sans thearmour!!!! gonna have a bad time that being said makes sense that hes european the gross fuck

thankfully for him) and returning from the dormitory baths with a relieved sigh, Alto scarcely had time to close the door to his room behind him before he was suddenly jolted from his thoughts by an excited knocking. “Eh? Lisette?”

the phrase “dormitory baths” pisses me the fuck off where do you get off jldavenport. probably all over your keyboard but stop saying shit like that this isnt your canon bitch

A late-night visit from his orange haired friend wasn’t especially unusual, but to see her standing around in her Witches outfit 

epithets, especially those that refer to hair color, are awful and amateurish but because he still doesnt know this apparently: Redhead. Is. A. Fucking. Word. 

in her Witches outfit

that wasnt good enough to warrant that large of an image but like that movie fucked me up so bad lets see what scars me worse the mouse scene or this fic

at this time of night certainly was. And even stranger than that, she was wearing the original outfit, the one she’d worn since the first time she’d awakened to her powers in Mithra, rather than the more dazzling Goddess robes she’d gained after he’d finally tuned her heart, ‘I suppose it’s probably easier to sit around in this one?’ If he had to wear something as flashy as any of the dresses the girls wore, he was sure he’d spent half his time worrying about ripping it.

honestly content notwithstanding this reads like an instructional on what NOT to do when writing. you write like this? dont. its very entry level like I cant say that I necessarily write better but do what I say not what I do

throwing the goddess thing out there is like him saying LOOK!!!! A FACT i KNOW ABOUT THE ACTUAL CANON!!!!!! HAHA

Despite standing staring at him from the hallway, with her face flushed and eyes not quite meeting his, she still hadn’t said anything, “Er, Lisette? Is something wrong?”

knocking on someones door and forgetting why ur there is a neurodivergent feel lisette has adhd now and theres nothing you can do about it

“Ah!” she jumped before finally shaking herself off and responding with a slight anxiousness, anxiety. see me after class “No, no not really. I just… I’ve had a lot of mind and I thought it’d be better if we could talk a bit? Do… Do you mind if we spend the night together, again?”

lisette u were literally talking to urself five minutes ago abt havin him fuck everyone and now ur all anime blushus. bitch

He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. She wanted to share his bed again? Spend the night holding hands like back then? Stopping himself short of giving her an answer, Alto suddenly realised just how imploringly she was looking up at him.

they literally used this exact Mouth Suddenly Dry thing last chapter do ppl who enjoy this fic actually like that r smthn. they get wet 4 the dry

“Huh, it’s not like you to actually ask…” He teased softly. Usually Lisette was far more insistent about this sort of thing, he’d normally expect her to simply march into his room and seat herself on his bed. He only realised as she spoke that for her to act like this, for whatever reason she was acting like this, it must be important to her that he did accept her request 

ugly sentence. ugly, ugly sentence. ew. im actually so bored by this sentence im ceasing work on this for the night good bye

She didn’t want to force it on him. Still… He couldn’t help but hesitate. It was stupid, he knew, but he’d felt awkward spending time alone with any of the girls since after the war, lest any of them get the wrong idea.

“get the wrong idea” DONT FUCKING WRITE ALTO LIKE THIS I AM IMMORTAL MY SKIN IS ADAMANTINE YOU SHALL FALL BEFORE ME

A moment passed and still Lisette didn’t say anything; clenching her hands nervously below her wait -and unintentionally pushing her impressive bust out even further towards him- 

the commissioner, apparently upon seeing stella glow:

she silently awaited his response. Blushing a little under her low gaze, Alto realised it was getting harder and harder to remember the days when he’d seen her just like a sister.

this proves its inhuman and disgusting because it gave me visceral flashbacks to fire emblem fates so lemme post some of my fave incest quotes from that, starting with the ones it made me astral project into

2.

did that last one haunt u because for a split second you imagined a world where lisette said them? good bc that shit keeps me up at night. im tired of cropping these quotes out so like we’re done my point has been made

In the end though, he couldn’t possibly deny her. Not for no reason, and not when she looked at him like that, “Yeah, of course Lisette. That sounds fun.”

the begging thing from the last chapter hit me full force in memory and I honestly hope it comes back bc ive got a dynamite joke locked and loaded

Breaking out into a bright smile, the Water Witch sagged in relief, taking him by surprise as she reached out to take his hand in hers, letting her body fall soft and warm against him as she did so. Her breath tickled hot across his collar and Alto’s heart jumped in shock!

DONT EVER USE EXCLAMATION POINTS LIKE THIS im serious. it is about as ugly, 2007-fanfic-net-core you can get. 

Her hands felt smooth and gentle, wrapped warm around his… 

HIS WHAT

he’d felt that before, it was pleasant, although not anything new. But feeling her head falling lovingly to his shoulder like this and having her entire body now laying against his… His mouth went dry, 

Wet 4 The Dry Confirmed

he could even feel her breasts pushing large and heavy against his own chest! ‘Woah… S-So soft… They’re even bigger than Rosa’s, aren’t they?’

can you believe this was written completely unironically? like, people find this hot? if it didnt deplete the experience of reading this fic id replace every line referencing boobs with a comment from nicki minaj’s instagram

For just a split second, no matter how much of a gentleman he was, standing there like that, it was impossible for him not to compare the mother and daughter.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SON

“Li-Lisette?” he choked out, desperately reigning in his thoughts before they rampaged down a dangerous direction. “Mmm, Alto, hehe, I’m glad,” she giggled happily, skipping back and beaming up at him as she tugged on his hands, leading him off, “Even just being like this with you, I feel better already!”

ok I have NO idea what movement theyre doing. shes like, skipping and then she comes back and takes his hands and idk probably his dick or something

Absolutely caught up in her rhythm, they were halfway down the hall before Alto finally realised she’d pulled him completely out of his room!

heres a coded message just for katt: e*****t w** d****** **m!the narration means he was aware she was pulling him so like where the fuck did he think he was going if not outside his room

“Uh, h-hey, Lisette? We’re going somewhere? I thought you wanted to go to sleep?” “That’s right,” she nodded simply, giving up and tugging him and instead falling into step beside him, “But your bed’s too small for it to be comfortable, so we’re gonna use my room instead!” Alto almost dug his heels in from sheer indignation! 

im sorry. im sorry I had to cut this up but come on. come the fuck on. indignation. like she made a point and alto is all “insolent female requesting things of me” have you not met alto. authot is from r/incels

She’d come all this way to see him, just to drag him back to her room!? How self-indulgent could she be!? And, it wasn’t as if his bed back in Mithra had been any larger and she’d never complained before. Eventually, he just sighed and followed her lead, it wasn’t worth getting worked up over. If it would make her happier, then that was fine. It might be nice to spend a night in someone else’s room for a change too.

Walking hand in hand through the halls like this was fairly embarrassing, thankfully it seemed that it was late enough that no-one else was around. He really, really didn’t want to suddenly run into Rusty like this, let alone Giselle, or Sakuya… Supressing a shudder, Alto hurried on.

“let alone giselle” wh???? I am so baffled by this. obviously rusty or sakuya would give him shit but whats giselle gonna do??? is alto being bullied by a robot?????? I want giselle to appear and smash alto’s frosting into the ground

“I won’t hesitate, bitch,” said Giselle, pointing her laser at altos dick and shattering it into one million individual pieces

Unlike the tiny spare room he’d been assigned so long ago now, Lisette, as a Witch, had been housed in the premium quarters on the other side of their dormitory. 

stop. stop saying dormitory. this is not a college

Luckily in this case, unlike the Palace, the building wasn’t overly large so it was only a short trip to her room. They arrived a few minutes later, just as his heart was beginning to settle down.

…

what happened to the long ass aterisks break. oh god the swear word is coming isnt it

Unfortunately, the moment Lisette opened the door and they stepped inside, Alto’s breath was one again caught violently in his throat, “H-Hilda!?” And indeed, kneeling serenely atop a small cushion in the middle of the large room, the Time Witch was sipping calmly from her usual green ceramic tea-cup, as if there was nothing strange about her presence here at all.

I dont like how shes sitting on a pillow in the center of the room that sounds ritualisitic

(bangs pink cup on the ground) She Sits On The Sacrificial Fuck Pillow ((group of hooded figures behind me start chanting “Fuck Pillow! Fuck Pillow!”

Watching as she settled the drink aside, perfectly in synch with the sound of Lisette locking the door behind her, Alto’s mouth went dry.

theres so much wrong with the syntax and shit but im pushing that all aside to say how fucking difficult it is to sync sound like that even on purpose so yeah theyre def doing a cult sacrifice to the original sex god, elcrest

A moment of silence reigned and somewhere in the back of his currently panicking mind, the bewildered Conductor couldn’t help but notice that Hilda too was wearing her standard Witches’ outfit, the same form fitting black dress 

“dress” very generous for mr boob grower

and wide sweeping hat she’d become associated with for so many years. However, in her case, this wasn’t much of a surprise. As far as he’d seen from the White-Haired woman, she didn’t seem to actually own any normal, casual attire and, while he knew she deeply adored he beautiful white dress she’d unlocked when he’d purified her lonely heart, he also knew that even she couldn’t help but feel rather self-conscious, wearing something that was practically a wedding dress as an everyday outfit, he hadn’t seen Hilda’s Goddess Robes since the end of the final battle.

I literally cannot read any part of this paragraph except the capitalization of White-Haired and Goddess Robes this was either written in the 1700s or modern day by me dissociating in a target bathroom this is so funny if the fic gets any funnier ill die

“Alto? I’m surprised. Isn’t it a bit late for you to be visiting a woman’s bedroom?”

horny dont got business hours babe

“Ah, H-Hilda! It’s, it’s not what you’re thinking, I, Lisette!? Wha-” “Relax Alto,” the Water Witch giggled softly as she stepped forward, taking his hand again, but this time wrapping herself around his arm, “She’s just teasing you.” “Wha… Abuh?”

this is harem anime/fire emblem dialogue right down to the “Abuh?” actually thats the defining thing you hear someone say that youre in a straight anime and you need to run for your fucking life

“My apologies,” Hilda nodded, offering him a small smile in recompense as she matched Lisette’s movements, taking hold of his other hand, her pale face burning bright red as her soft fingers entwined with his, “I just, got a little flustered seeing you so suddenly… I… I wasn’t sure what to say.”

ok first of all you cannot write hilda in any realm of possibility but also like this is yet another thing to not trust men for: emphasizing the whiteness of a womans skin. he is a racist, plain and simple

Her hand squeezed nervously around his and Alto realised just how easily he could feel her racing heart through the light fabric of her dress when she pulled his arm against herself. Not that Lisette was any different, he couldn’t possibly believe in the confidant front she was showing after knowing her as long as he had, not when he could feel her entire body trembling against him.

hilda is like two ft tall howd she even reach his arm. also like there isnt even any fabric boy u raw touchin her 

His mouth opened and closed, but he couldn’t think what to say, he wasn’t mentally prepared for any of this! He’d gone from expecting to go to sleep, to being visited by Lisette, to being dragged through the halls, and now he was being sprung with some surprise meeting!? And both of them were clinging to him like never before! 

this is in character alto not wanting to have a threesome so he can go nap

He couldn’t possibly keep up. Before he even realised it, he’d been pulled all the way over to Lisette’s bed and was sitting with a girl wrapped around either of his arms.

what a problem! what a terrible day for him! what are the odds of this happening!

“What… What’s going on?” “Something good.” Hilda answered in her own cryptic fashion, her voice almost breathless and her blazing red cheeks half hidden behind his cloak as she shyly slid in right next to him.

it is most certainly not good ma’am

“That’s right,” Lisette agreed, happily snuggling up against him as she squeezed herself around his other arm, “We’re gonna help you come to a decision!”

we’re gonna make u C*M...............to a decision ;)

Alto blinked, “Eh?”

petition for this to turn out like the friends episode where ross got kicked out of a threesome with his wife and another woman bc they were lesbians so he left and made a sandwich

conveniently the fic decides to break here anyway so thats all you get for now. I’ll finish the other parts later (im expecting like maybe five because of the gargantuan size of this travesty) and link them direct from here 

Part 2 here! (coming soon)

[thejollyshiner]

Meme Anime Ask Pt. 2 of 4

@stacys--mum asked me to answer 12, 16, and 30.

Due to my past experience of learning to answer these I will answer them in this order

Pt.1 - 12.  Anime that should get more attention from others?

Pt.2 - 16. 10 animes you have watched to recommend? (alphabetically/1-5)

Pt.3 - 16. 10 animes you have watched to recommend? (alphabetically/6-10)

Pt.4 - 30. One anime conclusion you would change?

Also a quick mention to anyone of what not to do when writing an extensive post since this is now my fifth attempt.

1. Always stick with one network or wi-fi when completing these, otherwise when you connect to a new wi-fi theres a good chance of losing everything you wrote.

2. Don’t ever write on a train even if they promise some sort of wi-fi especially on a moving train. Since your computer is just going to run pretty slow to the point of your computer thinking you had decided to send the answer on private, instead of choosing your gif.

3. Always be cautious where you are leaning your body on the overly sensitive touchpad especially when your unaware of it, while enjoying someones company.

4. Don’t ever try to attempt to make a long post and expect your laptop to still run fast. I learned this the hard way being half way done with this ask only for my computer to stay frozen for over two hours. only to give up hope that my computer can work while still answering this ask, so I decided to restart my laptop and loose everything.

Knowing these are all of the things I’ve learned I encourage everyone to not be me lol.

So, fifth times the charm...I guess.

16.  10 animes you have watched to recommend (alphabetically/ 1-5)

These answers will just focus on plot, background, and genres.

1.Barakamon

Plot: Seishuu Handa is an up-and-coming calligrapher: young, handsome, talented, and unfortunately, a narcissist to boot. When a veteran labels his award-winning piece as "unoriginal," Seishuu quickly loses his cool with severe repercussions. As punishment, and also in order to aid him in self-reflection, Seishuu's father exiles him to the Goto Islands, far from the comfortable Tokyo lifestyle the temperamental artist is used to. Now thrown into a rural setting, Seishuu must attempt to find new inspiration and develop his own unique art style—that is, if boisterous children (headed by the frisky Naru Kotoishi), fujoshi middle schoolers, and energetic old men stop barging into his house! The newest addition to the intimate and quirky Goto community only wants to get some work done, but the islands are far from the peaceful countryside he signed up for. Thanks to his wacky neighbors who are entirely incapable of minding their own business, the arrogant calligrapher learns so much more than he ever hoped to.

Background: The anime originally premiered in summer 2014 with 12 episodes, which adapted chapters from the first five volumes. The manga itself is still ongoing, with twelve compiled volumes so far.

Genres: Comedy and Slice of Life

2. Chihayafuru

Plot: Chihaya Ayase, a strong-willed and tomboyish girl, grows up under the shadow of her older sister. With no dreams of her own, she is contented with her share in life till she meets Arata Wataya. The quiet transfer student in her elementary class introduces her to competitive karuta, a physically and mentally demanding card game inspired by the classic Japanese anthology of Hundred Poets. Captivated by Arata's passion for the game and inspired by the possibility of becoming the best in Japan, Chihaya quickly falls in love with the world of karuta. Along with the prodigy Arata and her haughty but hard-working friend Taichi Mashima, she joins the local Shiranami Society. The trio spends their idyllic childhood days playing together, until circumstances split them up. Now in high school, Chihaya has grown into a karuta freak. She aims to establish the Municipal Mizusawa High Competitive Karuta Club, setting her sights on the national championship at Omi Jingu. Reunited with the now indifferent Taichi, Chihaya's dream of establishing a karuta team is only one step away from becoming true: she must bring together members with a passion for the game that matches her own.

Background: Chihayafuru is the anime adaptation of the manga with the same name written and illustrated by Yuki Suetsugu and serialised in the magazine Be Love. The anime had two live action film adaptations, both released in 2016. The manga won the second Manga Taishou award, and the 35th Kodansha Manga Award in the shoujo category. Chihayafuru has become so popular that it boosted interest in competitive karuta. The manga has sold over 4.5 million copies and has been praised for combining elements of sports and literature. The anime premiered in fall 2011 with 25 episodes.

Genres: Game, Slice of Life, Sports, Drama, Josei

3. Cowboy Bebop

Plot: In the year 2071, humanity has colonized several of the planets and moons of the solar system leaving the now uninhabitable surface of planet Earth behind. The Inter Solar System Police attempts to keep peace in the galaxy, aided in part by outlaw bounty hunters, referred to as "Cowboys." The ragtag team aboard the spaceship Bebop are two such individuals. Mellow and carefree Spike Spiegel is balanced by his boisterous, pragmatic partner Jet Black as the pair makes a living chasing bounties and collecting rewards. Thrown off course by the addition of new members that they meet in their travels—Ein, a genetically engineered, highly intelligent Welsh Corgi; femme fatale Faye Valentine, an enigmatic trickster with memory loss; and the strange computer whiz kid Edward Wong—the crew embarks on thrilling adventures that unravel each member's dark and mysterious past little by little.

Background: When Cowboy Bebop first aired in spring of 1998 on TV Tokyo, only episodes 2, 3, 7-15, and 18 were broadcast, it was concluded with a recap special known as Yose Atsume Blues. This was due to anime censorship having increased following the big controversies over Evangelion, as a result most of the series was pulled from the air due to violent content. Satellite channel WOWOW picked up the series in the fall of that year and aired it in its entirety uncensored. Cowboy Bebop was not a ratings hit in Japan, but sold over 19,000 DVD units in the initial release run, and 81,000 overall. Protagonist Spike Spiegel won Best Male Character, and Megumi Hayashibara won Best Voice Actor for her role as Faye Valentine in the 1999 and 2000 Anime Grand Prix, respectively. Cowboy Bebop's biggest influence has been in the United States, where it premiered on Adult Swim in 2001 with many reruns since. The show's heavy Western influence struck a chord with American viewers, where it became a "gateway drug" to anime aimed at adult audiences.

Another signature trait of Cowboy Bebop is its music: Yoko Kanno composed a soundtrack made up of almost entirely of jazz music. Some of her work on this show even defies categorization. She and her band, The Seatbelts, improvised some tracks to finished footage at the moment of recording. Bebop's soundtrack exists not as a mere afterthought, but as the backbone to nearly everything else about the series; numerous scenes with no dialogue entirely and rely on music to carry the experience.

As the tagline suggests, Bebop frequently evokes both western and film noir, hough the single biggest influence on the look and feel of the series comes from 80s and early 90s heroic bloodshed action movies directed by Johnny Woo. Lupin III also serves as a visible influence, as the main trio comes off like a futuristic version of Lupin, Jigen, and Fujiko. Underneath the sci-fi and action flick surface lies an overall plot line influenced mainly by the most Japanese of all Japanese cinema, the Yakuza picture — a relatively unknown genre in the West.

Cowboy bebop originally aired spring 1998 with 26 episodes.

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Sci-Fi, Space

4. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

Plot: "In order for something to be obtained, something of equal value must be lost." Alchemy is bound by this Law of Equivalent Exchange—something the young brothers Edward and Alphonse Elric only realize after attempting human transmutation: the one forbidden act of alchemy. They pay a terrible price for their transgression—Edward loses his left leg, Alphonse his physical body. It is only by the desperate sacrifice of Edward's right arm that he is able to affix Alphonse's soul to a suit of armor. Devastated and alone, it is the hope that they would both eventually return to their original bodies that gives Edward the inspiration to obtain metal limbs called "automail" and become a state alchemist, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Three years of searching later, the brothers seek the Philosopher's Stone, a mythical relic that allows an alchemist to overcome the Law of Equivalent Exchange. Even with military allies Colonel Roy Mustang, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, and Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes on their side, the brothers find themselves caught up in a nationwide conspiracy that leads them not only to the true nature of the elusive Philosopher's Stone, but their country's murky history as well. In between finding a serial killer and racing against time, Edward and Alphonse must ask themselves if what they are doing will make them human again... or take away their humanity.

Background: In 2003, the manga was very loosely adapted into an anime series. While it followed the story at first, it quickly spun off into another direction, and ended up with an entirely different conclusion altogether. This was pretty much inevitable, since the manga was released in a monthly magazine; the weekly anime would have tons of filler to make sure it didn't overrun the story.

In 2009 — as the manga was nearing its end — a new anime series (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood) was announced; it followed the manga's story much more faithfully (with nearly no filler) while skimming through material already covered in the 2003 series (so it could get to where the 2003 series went off-track). When it was released in the US, nearly the entire original cast of the 2003 series' dub reprised their parts, to boot. For anyone who wants to watch an accurate animated adaptation of the original manga, this is the series to watch.

The anime originally aired spring 2009 with 64 episodes.

Genre: Action, Military, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Magic, Fantasy, Shounen

5. Kekkai Sensen

Plot: Supersonic monkeys, vampires, talking fishmen, and all sorts of different supernatural monsters living alongside humans—this has been part of daily life in Hellsalem's Lot, formerly known as New York City, for some time now. When a gateway between Earth and the Beyond opened three years ago, New Yorkers and creatures from the other dimension alike were trapped in an impenetrable bubble and were forced to live together. Libra is a secret organization composed of eccentrics and superhumans, tasked with keeping order in the city and making sure that chaos doesn't spread to the rest of the world. Pursuing photography as a hobby, Leonardo Watch is living a normal life with his parents and sister. But when he obtains the "All-seeing Eyes of the Gods" at the expense of his sister's eyesight, he goes to Hellsalem's Lot in order to help her by finding answers about the mysterious powers he received. He soon runs into Libra, and when Leo unexpectedly joins their ranks, he gets more than what he bargained for. Kekkai Sensen follows Leo's misadventures in the strangest place on Earth with his equally strange comrades—as the ordinary boy unwittingly sees his life take a turn for the extraordinary.

Background: Originally this started out as a one-shot story called Barrier War (Kekkai Senso) released in 2008, the story taking place in a contemporary city with an emphasis on vampire hunting. Created by Yasuhiro Nightow, the creator of Trigun and Gungrave. An anime adaption by Studio BONES debuted in spring 2015 with 12 episodes.

After a long delay, its finale finally aired in October 2015. The anime was hugely popular in Japan, leading to the announcement of a second season set to air in 2017 and titled Kekkai Sensen & BEYOND a.k.a Blood Blockade Battlefront and Beyond.

Genres: Action, Super Power, Supernatural, Vampire, Fantasy, Shounen

Thanks for reading Part 2 hope it was an informative read be on the look out for parts 3 and 4 soon to come.

[sheeran-usa]

Ed Sheeran: Up All Night With Pop's Hardcore Troubadour | Full Rolling Stone Interview

"Let's go to my place for the finale!" Ed Sheeran shouts as he hops into an SUV. It's just after midnight in London. Sheeran spent much of the evening in a bar, but even with his bright-red hair hidden under a ball cap, people started to recognize him. The DJ played one of his songs, and his friends had to create a wall around him so he could drink in peace. It all made him a little anxious, which is why we're speeding to his West London home to keep the party going.

Sheeran is celebrating tonight because he knows he's about to score his first Number One hit in America with "Shape of You," a sleek, funky stomper from his new album, ÷ (pronounced Divide). We're joined by his girlfriend, Cherry, and his old friends Zack, Nathan and Catherine, who have been watching him perform since he released his first album, The Spinning Man, when he was 13. "I went plywood," Sheeran, now 25, jokes about that LP. "Not gold. I sold 100 copies."

Sheeran has been going hard tonight: espresso martinis and rum-punch shots at dinner, gin and tonics at the bar. It's my birthday, and at one point he grabs my phone, takes a selfie of us and posts to my Instagram, writing "It's my birthday bitches #london #hashtag #believe #achieve #inspiration." He encourages friends to knock back pints with a drinking song that ends "Na na na na/Hey hey hey/You're a cunt!"

Soon, we arrive at his house, a five-floor, industrial-style space with brick walls, wood floors and several personal touches: a Charmander Pokémon stuffed animal in his bedroom and a bong shaped like Benny Blanco's head in the living room. There's also a recording studio, a gym and a full bar, where he recently entertained several young cast members of his favorite show, Game of Thrones. As we arrive, Sheeran offers bedrooms to anyone who wants to "get rowdy," then goes to work mixing drinks.

With the possible exception of Justin Bieber, Sheeran is the biggest male pop star alive. But pop-machine refinement is something he resists full force. His life is a chaotic blur of too much pub food, 3 a.m. pool games, shots at dinner and impulsive decisions: "If you ever need a wedding band . . ." he says shortly after we meet and he learns I have a girlfriend. "I always say, 'It's free if I'm free.' As long as you sort me out with a lot of booze and a bed, I'm there." (During our time together, I will meet at least three friends whose weddings he has played.) He is filterless. "Powerful shit upstairs, man. Who did that?" he asks after emerging from the bathroom tonight, until a friend cops to it.

As his fame increases, holding on to a semblance of normalcy is important for Sheeran. He's been hanging out with old friends a lot; he even wrote about them in his new single "Castle on the Hill," a tribute to their rebellious high school days in Suffolk, England.

Around 4 a.m., Sheeran runs upstairs to grab his guitar and then takes a seat at the kitchen table. He proceeds to play for two hours straight – a gig considerably more intimate than the stadium shows he plays all by himself, backed only with an acoustic guitar and a loop pedal. Tonight he plays songs from ÷, as well as several unreleased tunes he says are planned for future albums. He takes requests, too – including "Love Yourself," the Number One hit he wrote with Justin Bieber. "You know 'Love Yourself' is originally 'Fuck Yourself,' right?" he jokes before playing that version.

This is Sheeran's gift in a nutshell: He's a mix of old-school troubadour and Top 40 technician, a guy who could kill it at a coffeehouse open-mic night but is also one of the most pop-savvy songwriters alive. (He also raps surprisingly well.) His crowds are mostly teenage girls, but Sheeran is craftsman enough to impress someone like Elton John, who signed him to his management company in 2011. "He can write melodies so simply," says Elton, who points to "Thinking Out Loud," which won a Grammy in 2016 for Song of the Year. "Van Morrison would have been very proud to write that. He reminds me of me when I first came to America, in 1970. It was all systems go. Nothing was impossible. The unfortunate thing is, now, everyone sounds like Ed Sheeran: Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber.  . . ."

"Sorry, I'm a bit drunk," Sheeran says after flubbing a line to a new track. He stops to roll a cigarette and heat up a pizza. Then he sits down and plays "Perfect," a fingerpicked waltz from ÷. Like most of songs he writes these days, it's about Cherry, whom he's known since high school and reconnected with at an after-show party in New York. They kept their relationship secret for a full year, until Taylor Swift invited them to her Fourth of July party in Rhode Island and a friend Instagrammed a picture of a banner celebrating their one-year anniversary.

"I found a love to carry more than just my secrets," Sheeran sings. "I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight."

"My tear glands are just throbbing," says Catherine.

"Let me think of another tear-jerker," Sheeran says.

"Please don't!" she says.

He gets up and makes another gin and tonic. "Everyone cool? I am very cool."

Around six, it's time for bed.

Early last year, Sheeran and Cherry were touring a volcano in Iceland, when Sheeran ignored a guide's directions to not stray from a path. As he approached a bubbling geyser, the thin crust of earth started to collapse beneath him, sending both feet into nearly 200-degree water. It was the first time Cherry had heard him scream. She ripped one of his socks off, taking his skin with it. "I still have post-traumatic stress over it," she says. He had to be airlifted to a hospital.

The couple could have headed home – instead, they pushed on with a trip that lasted six months. Sheeran, it turned out, really needed to get away from being a pop star for a while.

Sheeran's default mood is relentlessly upbeat. But he admits that every now and then he "spirals." This happened in 2013, when he scored an opening gig for Taylor Swift and moved to Nashville, where the tour was based. "I was on the most amazing fucking tour in the world," he says. "I was just living in a country that I didn't belong in, in a town I didn't really know anyone."

He began to drink – a lot. His frequent songwriting partner Johnny McDaid was worried about Sheeran when he saw him at a show in Hollywood in 2015. "He was just go, go, go," McDaid says. "I sat him down and said, 'Look, man, please have all the fun in the world. But be careful because if that elastic snaps, it could take a long time to recover from it.' "

A single Twitter comment could ruin his day: "Everyone online was saying, 'Ed's going bald.' And I'm not. But I convinced myself that I was. Ginger hair is just very fair – my hair is completely fine. I was also quite big at the time," he adds, referring to his weight, "so I kind of got a complex about two things I would have never given a fuck about."

He also lost some friends. "The Forbes list actually fucked it up," he says, referring to a report in the magazine indicating he made $57 million in 2015. "I was getting texts from people with pictures of cars going, 'I'd like this for my birthday, please. This one's only .06 percent of your annual income.'" (He ended up ditching his phone; he uses an iPad to communicate and a flip phone for close family.)

So after attending the Grammys last year and winning Song of the Year, Sheeran skipped the afterparties and boarded a plane to Iceland. Once his foot had healed, the couple traveled around rural Japan for a month, from Hokkaido to Okinawa, where he was able to walk around in anonymity, "eat weird food, soak in the hot springs and ski."

Sheeran stopped smoking and cut way back on drinking. In June, he spent three weeks in Ghana at the invitation of Ghanaian-English singer Fuse ODG. Working in Fuse's house, he started writing African-influenced music. "Anytime we made a song, they would throw a party for the song," he says. "He would invite 200-plus people 'round, and we would just party to that song until the early hours."

Only one of those songs, "Bibia Be Ye Ye," appears on ÷, but the freedom Sheeran felt on his journey lingered. While Sheeran's last album, x, featured bitter takedowns of exes, ÷ has songs like "Happier," which he wrote after a wedding, when he ran into his ex and her boyfriend, whom Sheeran had always held a grudge against. "He was really sound," says Sheeran. "I thought, 'Of course, this is what's meant to happen.'"

Elton says Sheeran's travels "refreshed his soul." "I've noticed, in the last few months, he knows it's going to be all right," says McDaid. "He knows that he's done a pretty amazing thing again. I think he reconnected to his friends and family, and he feels anchored."

It's 11 the morning after Sheeran's impromptu living-room concert. Rain patters on the windows of his guest room, revealing a gray sky. Only five hours have passed since he called it a night, but he can be found downstairs in his gym, shirtless, in the middle of his daily 10-minute elliptical workout. "Just sweating it out!" he says.

His studio is across the hallway. Sheeran asks everyone who visits to sign its walls. Signatures include Rick Rubin, Harry Styles and Benny Blanco, and a drawing by Damien Hirst, one of his favorite artists. One wall is bare, except for a single name. "That's Clapton," says Sheeran with a grin. "Elton's coming next week and Cherry's cooking, so I'm going to do a legends wall."

Sheeran and Clapton first started talking over e-mail. Clapton invited him onstage in Japan last year and sometimes comes over for dinner. Sheeran isn't a favorite with critics, but, he says, "I could give a fuck about what people think. Anytime anyone has a problem with me, I'm just like, 'My heroes like me. The people I started music for are fans of my music. So why the fuck would I care about what anyone else thinks?' "

We head to lunch at a nearby pub, where Sheeran promptly orders a round of his hometown ale Adnams: "I love drinking really thick ale in January." He talks about growing up in Suffolk, where he was made fun of for being bad at sports, for his red hair – and, most of all, for his stutter: "You'd put your hand up and not be able to speak. And kids are cruel. So once that would happen, someone would imitate it. And then you'd be like, 'I'm not going to put my hand up next time.' " He credits rapping along with Eminem's Marshall Mathers LP for helping him lose the stammer.

His parents were curators for art galleries, putting together exhibitions and lecturing around town. His dad taught him to be tough. "He grew up with a harelip," he says. "And he said, 'Anytime anyone picks on you, hit him as hard as you can and they will never rip into you again.' " His father still doesn't take any shit: Sheeran tells a story about him lighting a cigarette at a recent Warner Bros. party. "Someone said, 'Sir, you can't smoke here.' And he said, 'I am Mr. Warner,' and they left him alone." His mom is the opposite. "She is literally an angel," says Sheeran.

Though his dad suggested fighting to deal with his problems, Sheeran preferred humor. "Most ginger-haired people I know are very outgoing and comedic," he says. "They basically say the joke before you can. Like, my first album is orange. There's a reason it's orange – I'm getting there before you can." He thinks those days have a lot to do with his career choice: "The whole musician thing kind of comes from wanting to be loved and wanting to be liked."

Sheeran dropped out of school in 2007, when he was 16, and moved to London. He started performing, striking out at guitar open mics but finding an audience at hip-hop clubs, comedy shows and jazz open mics. "Anywhere it's not the norm to have a singer-songwriter be there, I instantly stood out," he recalls.

In 2010, Ben Cook, the head of Asylum Records, saw a clip of Sheeran online. Cook went to check out several shows – including one in Southampton, England, where Sheeran stood on a chair in the middle of the audience and played unplugged. "He was rapping," Cook says, "so the guys were trying to keep up with him, and then there was the really romantic stuff the girls were responding to." Cook signed him soon after.

Sheeran's first big U.S. tour was supporting Snow Patrol in 2012, around the time his first single, "The A Team" – a ballad about a crack-addicted prostitute he met at a homeless shelter – was blowing up. "In Orlando, there were, like, 200 people in the front row to see Ed," says McDaid, Snow Patrol's guitarist. "By the middle of the tour, there were about 2,000. You could see it happening in front of you."

His next tour was considerably bigger: a 66-date run opening for Swift. "I heard his song 'Lego House' in Australia when I was on the Speak Now tour," says Swift. "It just cut through everything else." Their managers put them together, and they ended up sitting on a trampoline in Swift's backyard and writing "Everything Has Changed." Each night, Swift invited Sheeran onstage to play the ballad.

Offstage, this was his most romantically prolific period. He says he hooked up with some of Swift's famous friends. "Taylor's world is celebrity," says Sheeran. "I was this 22-year-old awkward British kid going on tour with the biggest artist in America, who has all these famous mates. It was very easy. … I would often find myself in situations just kind of waking up and looking over and being like, 'How the fuck did that happen?' " (Katy Perry recently summed up his appeal as a secret ladies' man: "Everybody loves him, no one's scared of him, they want to date him. They can have him.")

Sheeran chronicled some of these relationships on his second album, 2014's x. He wrote "Don't" about a fling with a fellow pop star that ends when he learns she's had sex with a friend who was staying on the same hotel floor. Many speculated it was Ellie Goulding, who afterward released "On My Mind," which included the burn "You wanted my heart, but I just liked your tattoos." Goulding has denied having ever been involved with Sheeran.

One person he did not date on the tour was Swift, despite TMZ headlines. "I found that aspect quite lazy journalism," he says. "There wasn't any truth to it whatsoever."

Sheeran and Swift see each other only once or twice a year, but they still feel close to each other. "We've gotten matching Scottish folds, made each other arts and crafts Christmas presents, vacationed with our families, and had each other's backs," says Swift. "He is the James Taylor to my Carole King and I can't imagine a time when he wouldn't be." He imagines them doing a stadium tour where they trade songs for an evening, much like the one Jay Z and Justin Timberlake did a few years ago. "She would be there if everything ended for me," Sheeran says. "Taylor is kind of an anomaly in that sense." He's been annoyed at the backlash against her lately: "She's omnipresent because she's the most famous woman in the world, so she can't make the decision to not be in the press. I always stick up for Taylor."

Most weekends when he's not on tour, you can find Sheeran watching field hockey. Cherry played for Duke until 2014. She moved to London last year with Sheeran, and signed a contract to play for Wimbledon Hockey Club (field hockey is a big deal in England). During the week, she works as a financial consultant. "She's the nicest girl you'll ever meet, but on the field she's a fucking animal," he says proudly.

At Oxford Hawks Hockey Club one Saturday, Sheeran takes his spot against a fence to watch the first game of the season, chatting with a few parents. ("Are you up to anything musical?" one asks.)

Cherry, number 17, rushes over to him, and they kiss, and do their sort of secret handshake. For their first date, he took her to see him accept an award at an American Institute for Stuttering gala – "It was quite an upsetting event," Sheeran says, "because there are lots of kids that just can't get their words out." The second date was a birthday party for Adele's manager. Sheeran "tested" Cherry by leaving her alone for a few hours. "One of the main points of being in a relationship with me," he says, "you have to be really fucking sociable and good at talking to people, because I will be dragged away loads at parties and events. And Cherry's perfect at it. She makes friends with everyone."

After the match, Sheeran is driven to the team clubhouse. He grabs a tray and fixes himself a potato with beans and cheese, giving a big thumbs-up as he chews. He's about halfway done when several more teams pour into the room: high school girls. Several cliques of them inch toward his table. The whole room seems to be wondering why, exactly, Ed Sheeran is here. "I'm gonna need to get out of here," he says. "I'm getting filmed a lot." He pulls his cap down and walks out, head down, and makes his way out unscathed. "I just realized that was an entire school – all the sports teams," Sheeran says back in the car. "Not ideal."

This kind of attention freaks Sheeran out a little, and lately he's been dealing with even weirder invasions of his privacy. Not long ago, a police officer pulled him over and asked for a selfie. Sheeran recently found a drone in his garden. He's "100 percent" sure that someone on his 40-person team is selling information to the press. "I just want to know who it is," he says. The worst part is getting stared at: "People film on the sly – I get really fucking anxious." And one way he deals with that anxiety is drinking.

"Do you have any white tequila?" Sheeran asks a waiter at a New York restaurant. "Not Patrón, though." Yes, they do. "Five shots of that, and one shot of passion-fruit juice, please. Put the tequila on ice, and then let it sit for a bit. And then pour it over ice into the juice, then shake it." The waiter at New York's ABC Kitchen gets on the case: They do not carry passion-fruit juice, but a store nearby does have it, and someone has been sent out.

Since I saw him in London three weeks ago, Sheeran has been on a promo tour, visiting England, Norway, Germany, France, Asia and Australia, where he stayed at Russell Crowe's house. "He has his own pub," Sheeran says. "I was so fucking off my chops, and I didn't realize he'd drank a bottle of gin and was off his chops as well." There was a minor crisis around 8 a.m., when everyone realized Sheeran had wandered off to bed and ended up in a grassy area riddled with deadly snakes. Cherry feared another Iceland-like debacle. "He was stumbling into the grass, falling into the bushes," she says.

Sheeran escaped unharmed, but there are a lot of stories like this. In Nashville, in 2013, he was pretending to play drums with two beer bottles at 4 a.m., the night before an arena gig. He struck the table and ended up with a big piece of glass inside his right hand. He missed a nerve by a millimeter.

Then there's the scar. Sheeran was recently attending a party thrown by Princess Beatrice at the Royal Lodge, near Windsor Castle, when he started messing around with ceremonial swords. The story changes often – some say it was Beatrice herself; Sheeran says it was singer James Blunt – but someone slashed Sheeran's right cheek. "He went to the hospital and came back ready to party with stitches on," says a friend. "And everyone was asleep. He was like, 'What the fuck? I bled for this party and you're all asleep?'"

"He can be extremely naughty. It's a good thing he didn't appear in the same era as I did, otherwise we'd be up for three weeks together," says Elton, who has been sober for almost 30 years. "He's not a big druggy, but he likes a drink. He's a lot of fun."

The five-shot tequila drinks arrive. Sheeran gulps one down and requests another. He talks about going to Tokyo, where he met up with Bieber. They did karaoke and shot pool in a dive bar. "He's in a very good place – very sober, very present," Sheeran says. "There's been a 180 that's happened, and there's no diva behavior whatsoever. It really suits him."

Does Sheeran think he drinks too much? "Often, I'm like, 'Is it bad that I drink almost every single day?' And then I look at my friends and most of them do the same. And they're actually worse than me. The first thing Americans say is, 'There's a problem, and you need to go to rehab.' But I don't wake up and drink. I don't depend on drink. I can go without it completely. I just enjoy going out and having fun, being 25. And I think that's a normal thing."

In his dressing room at Saturday Night Live two days later, Sheeran looks over the walls of the greenroom, which are full of pictures of past musical guests: Kanye West, Paul McCartney, Sheeran himself. "I look like a fucking gimp," he says, remarking on a press shot where he's leaning forward with a serious face. Soon, a live feed of the show's dress rehearsal comes on. He cackles at Melissa McCarthy's Sean Spicer impression – "Fucking hell!" he says – and host Alec Baldwin's monologue.

He talks about the future. He's in the process of auditioning members of a boy band he's creating. He's already written lots of songs for the group – "really, really decent. Superpop, but obviously credible. I'm gonna put three or four boys together and do all the songs, take them on the stadium tour with me."

Sheeran's ÷ tour will take him across the world – arenas this year, stadiums next year – before wrapping up by early 2019. He's edging toward his ultimate goal: "I want to do stadiums everywhere," he says. "Like George Strait's level – he tours every four years, does a couple of stadiums and then fucks off again." Sheeran also plans to star in a low-budget film, like Once, featuring his own acoustic soundtrack. "I want to have one in my career," he says.

He's showing a member of his team the "cash me outside" meme when his pal Zach Braff blasts into the greenroom, along with his date. "There's nothing more fun than being at SNL – I'm so geeked out," he tells Sheeran. "This is like you at a Star Wars convention."

Sheeran starts busting his balls, pointing at Braff's backstage pass: "Why does it have that on it, though – 'Talent'?"

"You motherfucker," Braff says. "You're supposed to be my wingman."

Sheeran heads straight from the greenroom to the stage to perform "Shape of You," not bothering to do any sort of vocal warm-ups. Later, he's on his way to do his second song, "Castle on the Hill," when he and Cherry run into Tracy Morgan. The comedian steers the conversation from The Empire Strikes Back to The Godfather to Michael Jackson. "Michael was music," Morgan says. "With every fiber of his fuckin' soul. The problem with Michael was that he peaked too soon. Listen to 'ABC.' He was eight years old when he did that! And once you peak, there's nowhere to go."

"You're scaring me!" Sheeran says with a laugh. Morgan replies that Sheeran has nothing to worry about: "He's good. He's grounded. He's got a woman right there. He's gonna have a wife and family, and he's gonna be fucking happy."

The scene becomes more surreal when Baldwin approaches them in full Trump getup. All week, Sheeran has been admiring Baldwin's two babies. "Whenever anyone brings babies around, I'm like, 'We gotta get on that,' " says Sheeran.

After the show, Sheeran has to catch a plane to make a 9 a.m. soundcheck for the Grammys. "You'll be fine," says Morgan. "Get some sleep on the jet." Baldwin asks about his tour plans: "Whatever you do, you're young, you're so talented. You guys are gonna have a baby. Just have it on your private plane."

"Tour-bus babies!" says Cherry.

What Sheeran is really looking forward to is his 26th birthday next week, which he and Cherry will spend in the Austrian Alps. "It's awesome meeting famous people," Sheeran says. "But that's not life. That's not reality. One day this will fucking end. And I know the one person that's going to remain constant is Cherry. I should just enjoy this while it's there, but not let it become my reality. Because that's not the reality I want to live in."

[pink-earmuffs]

STRANGE THE DREAMER - Hardcover Book Edition READ: 3/30-5/18/17 5/5 "The dream chooses the dreamer, not the other way around--and Lazlo Strange, war orphan and junior librarian, has always feared that his dream chose poorly. Since he was five years old he's been obsessed with the mythic lost city of Weep, but it would take someone bolder than he to cross half the world in search of it. Then a stunning opportunity presents itself, in the person of a hero called the Godslayer and a band of legendary warriors, and he has to seize his chance to lose his dream forever. What happened in Weep two hundred years ago to cut it off from the rest of the world? What exactly did the Godslayer slay that went by the name of god? And what is the mysterious problem he now seeks help in solving?The answers await in Weep, but so do more mysteries--including the blue-skinned goddess who appears in Lazlo's dreams. How did he dream her before he knew she existed? and if all the gods are dead, why does she seem so real?" This book was lyrical. Both in prose and in plot. I was extremely impressed with the level of detail and care that went into this novel. Why I loved it so much was because it read, not just as an original piece, as a hugely imagined fully formed world that you could get lost in and also manage to put the pieces together just as the main character does. This book is rich with imaginative ideas and wonderful prose. My only real complaint is that cliffhanger of an ending that makes the reader want more immediately. I took so long reading this because I wanted to fully appreciate every single word. And now I can't wait until the next one. ------------------------------------------ NOS4A2 - Paperback Copy Edition READ: 5/18-20/17 4/5 "Victoria McQueen has a secret gift for finding things: a misplaced bracelet, a missing photograph, answers to unanswerable questions. On her Raleigh Tuff Burner bike, she makes her way to a rickety covered bridge that, within moments, takes her wherever she needs to go, whether it’s across Massachusetts or across the country. Charles Talent Manx has a way with children. He likes to take them for rides in his 1938 Rolls-Royce Wraith with the NOS4A2 vanity plate. With his old car, he can slip right out of the everyday world, and onto the hidden roads that transport them to an astonishing – and terrifying – playground of amusements he calls “Christmasland." Then, one day, Vic goes looking for trouble—and finds Manx. That was a lifetime ago. Now Vic, the only kid to ever escape Manx’s unmitigated evil, is all grown up and desperate to forget. But Charlie Manx never stopped thinking about Victoria McQueen. He’s on the road again and he’s picked up a new passenger: Vic’s own son." I'll be honest here. I picked up this one based on the summary. I haven't read much of Hill's work - I know who his father is - I've only read one previous novel by him "Horns" and loved it so I decided to give this one a go. I was reminded of his fathers work in certain elements of this novel but the way it was done was enjoyable and yet this book reminded me of The Nightmare Before Christmas mixed with serial killers and enhanced supernatural mysticism. Manx is quite possibly one of the creepiest villains ever to be put to the page while Vic McQueen is one of the best heroines I've encountered. My only gripe is that I felt as if some questions about Manx might have been open ended on purpose. -----------------------------------------THE FABULIST - Paperback Copy Edition READ: 5/11-13/17 3.5/5 "A NOVEL OF AN IGNOMINIOUS FALL, THE RISE TO INFAMY, AND LIFE AFTER BOTH. It is the summer of 1998, and Stephen Glass is a young magazine journalist whose work is gaining more and more acclaim -- until a rival magazine tells Glass's editor that it suspects one of his stories is fabricated. As his editor sorts out the truth, Glass is busy inventing it -- spinning rich and complex blends of fact and fiction, and exploiting the gray world in between. But Glass is caught. His fabulism is uncovered and his career instantly unravels. Worse, his editor learns that it's not the first time. Soon, a long history of invention, passed off as journalism, emerges. Glass suddenly becomes a household name -- an emblem of hubris and a flashpoint for Americans' distrust and dislike of the press. The media is consumed with the story: Once the young man who had been known for mastering the "takedown" article, Glass now becomes the one every journalist wants to take even further down. Once the hunter, Glass becomes the hunted -- the story of the year. Glass responds to this agonizing public scrutiny with a self-imposed exile, first near Chicago with his family and then in the anonymous suburbs of Washington, D.C. There, he begins a long personal struggle with his misdeeds, working out his own answers to the questions of why he fabricated, how he can learn to stop lying, and whether, at age twenty-five, he has destroyed his life irrevocably. Glass encounters a world far stranger than his own fabrications -- one populated by eccentric coworkers, ailing animals, angry masseuses, sexy librarians, competitive bingo players, synchronized swimmers, a soulful stripper, and a mysterious guardian angel who dresses only in purple. Meanwhile, Glass is chased by marauding journalists whose desperation and ruthlessness manage to match even his own. As he dodges his pursuers, Glass grasps at straws only to find that, wondrously, they sometimes hold. Despite himself, he rediscovers the Judaism he'd left far behind in Hebrew school, and falls helplessly in love with a young woman who turns out to have her own shameful past. In the end, "The Fabulist" is as much about family, friendship, religion, and love -- about getting through somehow, even when it seems impossible -- as it is about reality and fantasy. At once hilarious and harrowing, "The Fabulist" is one of the year's most provocative novels." This book just seems self serving in a way that borders on the author making up even more absurdities in an effort to sell a book about his life. However, it is well written, I can't help but think this was his own attempt to lessen his own guilt about what he's done in his life through the one method he knows - creating fiction. ------------------------------------------ THE HEARTS WE SOLD - Paperback ARC Edition READ: 5/1-4/17; RELEASE: 8/8/17 4/5 "When Dee Moreno makes a deal with a devil--her heart in exchange for an escape from a disastrous home life--she finds her trade may be more than she bargained for. And becoming "heartless" is only the beginning. What lies ahead is a nightmare far bigger, far more monstrous than anything she ever could have imagined. With reality turned on its head, Dee has only a group of other deal-making teens to keep her grounded, including the charming but secretive James Lancer. And as something like love grows between them amidst an otherworldly ordeal, Dee begins to wonder: can she give James her heart when it's no longer hers to give? The Hearts We Sold is a Faustian tale for the modern age that will steal your heart and break it, and leave you begging for more." I have to agree with the one review that stated that "the rumpelstilskin clause" might look a tad familiar but it's nonetheless a strong novel with its own mythology and merits that are new takes within YA. The book provides hints that could lead to more within this universe even with the ending being satisfying but it's a wonderful novel with a new twist on a semi used prose. ------------------------------------------ CATALINA EDDY - ARC Via Netgalley (already released). READ: 5/21-22/17 3.5/5 "Times may change, but crimes never do, and neither do the people who investigate them. A collection of three loosely connected crime novellas, each set in a distinct era, Catalina Eddy is a gritty, hard-boiled exploration into the immutable police underworld of Southern California. In The Big Empty, an obstinate Los Angeles detective investigates the murder of his estranged wife while fears of nuclear war and Communism grip the nation; inLosertown, a mid-career attorney in San Diego chases down a legendary drug kingpin but chafes against the Reagan Revolution policies of his new boss; and inPortuguese Bend, set in the present day, an undercover cop is paralyzed in a gunfight but determined to solve what may be her last case as a police officer in Long Beach. They are all, in one way or another, stuck in dreary endless loops of love, murder, and the quest for clarity, release, and redemption." I was given an ARC of this a tad late but didn't mind because I had been wanting to read this for a while. Thanks to PENGUIN GROUP Blue Rider Press & Plume for the chance to read. Daniel Pyne wrote a great crime novel/ 3 short series of noir tales that tie together over the course of several different decades but the effect from each of the stories reverberate over time. The Big Empty, The Portuguese Bend, & Losertown all take place at different time frames but handle different points of view in relation to crime which is a different take on what I usually see in crime novels. The Big Empty takes place in the 50's and a PI tries to figure out the death of his ex wife. The Portuguese Bend is told through the view point of a forensic photographer being the main protagonist. Finally Losertown gives the reader a look at the US Attorney Justice System. These stories that Pyne wrote are excellent editions to any crime/noir aficionado's reading library. ------------------------------------------ THE RED LILY - ARC via Netgalley READ: 5/19/17; RELEASE: 6/19/17 3/5 "The Black Lily resistance needs a larger army if they are to defeat the vampire monarchy. In order to do so, former lieutenant and traitor to the vampire Crown, Nikolai must seek help from the red-hooded temptress he needs to avoid at all costs. The secret he carries could prove dangerous for her if she gets too close…even though keeping her close—very close—is the only thing on his mind. Sienna will do anything for the Black Lily, and when Nikolai asks for her assistance to gain the trust of the commonwealth, it’s the last thing she wants to do. The thought of leaving her woods and her wolves behind is terrifying…not to mention the danger being with Nikolai poses." I received an advance reader copy in exchange for a fair review. Thank you to the author as well as Entangled Publishing, LLC for the chance to read and review. I have to give Juliette Cross credit here. Vampires have been done to death but here with the novels taking place in a sort of way that involves fairy tale retellings is genius. I loved that sort of element and she does it effortlessly. Sienna and Nikolai are a pair together but what I really enjoyed is that Sienna is no nonsense and isn't exactly "helpless" in terms of a heroine. I'm looking forward to more work from Cross and seeing where she takes this series. ------------------------------------------ ANGELS IN AMERICA - 2017 paperback edition READ: 5/18-19/17 5/5 "Tony Kushner's Angels in America is that rare entity: a work for the stage that is profoundly moving yet very funny, highly theatrical yet steeped in traditional literary values, and most of all deeply American in its attitudes and political concerns. In two full-length plays--Millennium Approaches and Perestroika--Kushner tells the story of a handful of people trying to make sense of the world. Prior is a man living with AIDS whose lover Louis has left him and become involved with Joe, an ex-Mormon and political conservative whose wife, Harper, is slowly having a nervous breakdown. These stories are contrasted with that of Roy Cohn (a fictional re-creation of the infamous American conservative ideologue who died of AIDS in 1986) and his attempts to remain in the closet while trying to find some sort of personal salvation in his beliefs. But such a summary does not do justice to Kushner's grand plan, which mixes magical realism with political speeches, high comedy with painful tragedy, and stitches it all together with a daring sense of irony and a moral vision that demands respect and attention. On one level, the play is an indictment of the government led by Ronald Reagan, from the blatant disregard for the AIDS crisis to the flagrant political corruption. But beneath the acute sense of political and moral outrage lies a meditation on what it means to live and die--of AIDS, or anything else--in a society that cares less and less about human life and basic decency. The play's breadth and internal drive is matched by its beautiful writing and unbridled compassion. Winner of two Tony Awards and the 1991 for drama, Angels in America is one of the most outstanding plays of the American theater." Review pending

[momscookingthebooks]

★.•**•.★ NEW RELEASE CHAPTER BLOG TOUR ★.•**•.★

YES ! We get to have Gina Wynn’s Newest release What You Wish For.

Readers, every day you get a snippet of chapter 1. THIS IS DAY 2

Don’t forget to follow so you don’t miss a bit.

Then Get Your Copy TODAY and Enjoy xx

Title: What you wish for

Author: Gina Wynn

Genre: Romantic, Woman Fiction

Release Date: May 12

Tour Date: May 9 - 12

Hosted By Teaser Addicts PR

BLURB

When Maggie Forrester wakes up naked in bed with her boss, iceman Will Brian, she's sure it must be a dream. Or a feverish hallucination at the very least. But magic takes over when she begins to experience an impossible other life—complete with an alternate husband—and she's forced to confront the reality of the man she loves versus the man she's fallen in love with.

After secrets she believed long buried surface, both of Maggie's realities are threatened. As the truth of her past comes to light, she must decide which man she truly loves and which life she wants to live—if the choice is even hers to make. Sometimes, true love is even worth wishing for.

GOODREADS LINK: http://bit.ly/2pzrpOF

Purchase links will Be Live MAY 12, 2017

Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071KWRC5Y/

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https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/what-you-wish-for-14

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Itunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/what-you-wish-for/id1230824043?mt=11 Decadent Publishing:

http://decadentpublishing.com/pre-order-now-what-you-wish-for/

Chapter 1 Part 2

“Soooo.” I drew the word out as I fished for the perfect way to phrase my question. It didn’t come, so I piled lobotomy-inspiring humiliation on top of already unbearable shame. “Did we have a good time last night? What did we do? Did we, um, drink a lot? Drink at all? Did we have a drink together?”

Jake. Oh, dear God...Jake.

I folded further into myself as each uncomfortable question spilled from my lips, adding ever more excruciating levels of horror to the start of my day. In error, I risked another quick look at him, seeing far more of his body than I ever anticipated glimpsing.

I folded my arms in a quick self-conscious shield, trying to hide everything he’d already caught a pretty good view of. Better late than never.

My mouth took on unexpected autonomy, unsure if it should express misery or amusement without adequate guidance from my brain, and I fought to twist my lips out of a small, inappropriate smile before I refocused my wandering gaze on the

bridge of his nose. Or his cheekbone. Or the tiny freckle high above his eye. Anywhere but somewhere else.

He sighed, the heavy sound at odds with his earlier amusement. “Drinking? What we did? Oh, the same thing we do every night...Pinky.”

Every night? Startled by his words, I met his eyes again. The flint-like coldness drew a painful shiver through me. No laughter there.

“Try to take over the world.” My whispered reply escaped on autopilot.

What in God’s name was I doing or thinking? Well, clearly not thinking. Try to take over the world. I struggled against a dry heave as the white noise anxiety in my head threatened to drown out everything else, smothering any chance of rational thought. I needed to ignore everything I’d said to this point and hope we could both move forward in our professional me-receiving-just-enough-money-to-scrape-by relationship. As for what I’d done, or why I’d arrived in his bed in the first place, I had no thoughts on that.

I pushed images of home aside. I’d deal with everything else later.

Mr. Brian continued watching me, his eyes growing wider. “Pinky.” he murmured, his tone thoughtful. “Pinky?” The heavy question in his voice reawoke my lazy instinct of self-preservation, and I readied for flight when his eyes focused on mine again as if he expected a response to something he hadn’t asked.

His answer about the previous night hadn’t helped me. Instead, he’d reverted to being lost in a world of his own and repeating a weird nickname. Still, his moment of distraction worked better than a written invitation to be on my way. The only way. Home.

I took my deepest breath of the morning. “Listen, I should get dressed. I probably need to head out.”

Casting my gaze over the floor, I scraped the discarded female clothes into my arms. They weren’t familiar from the previous day, and the form-fitting material that screamed an expensive price tag contradicted everything about my usual style— where style was just a synonym for the discount lines I could afford. Still, forgetting the exact outfit I’d dragged from the depths of my wardrobe, and why, paled when I considered the entirety of my position and everything else I failed to recall. Holding the unidentified garments in strategic placement to hide as much of myself as possible, I backed towards a door that stood ajar. A moment alone would give me time to collect my thoughts. Collect them, glue the fragments together again, and

force my rational self to take control. “I’ll just use the bathroom.” I flashed my brightest fake smile at the furthest wall, careful to avoid any accidental glance at Mr. Brian, and slipped through the doorway into solitude. A small sigh of relief escaped me as I took my first step across the threshold. As soon as I sorted things with Mr. Brian, I’d be able to go home. I pressed the door closed without a sound, plunging myself into darkness as I reached for a light switch.

My patting on the wall grew more frantic when I couldn’t find one, until Mr. Brian’s puzzled voice came from the other room. “I’ve got it.”

I brought my hands to my eyes, squinting between my fingers in the sudden bright light. Stepping further into the room, I took in the layout and...bloody hell. I’d walked into a wardrobe. More precisely, a wardrobe the size of a small country.

Disoriented by the unfamiliar sights and expensive perfume smells, I stumbled. Male and female clothes hung in an ordered fashion in front of me, like I’d stepped through a portal to a high-end shop where a sale per month paid the rent for the next three.

Beautiful, luxurious clothes. And more shoes than I knew existed. I leant forwards, half expecting—hoping—for a pair of ruby slippers to be

among them, and bit the inside of my cheek. Nice thought, but simply willing myself home and clicking my heels wouldn’t solve my current situation.

The bare skin of my back squeaked uncomfortably down the length of the smoothly painted door as I sank into the sitting position of a rag doll. Drawing my knees up, I allowed my head to fall against them, and a raw wave of despair washed through me.

Hiding in a wardrobe with my boss outside the door along with a bed I’d shared with him—naked—left me as prime candidate for demotion to chief coffee maker, if not taking up a new career as the local cat lady, not to mention the divorce proceedings I must have inadvertently started.

Di-vorce.

Two syllables, but a bloody big word, and no less than I deserved looking at the evidence around me. Circumstantial evidence, the ever supportive yet always biased voice of my inner monologue whispered. Fresh panic began a slow, delicate bloom in the darkest corner of my soul, but I smothered it. I could only handle one issue at a

time, and the most pressing of those existed outside the wardrobe door. A groan forced its way up from somewhere near my toes, filling my chest and stifling my shallow breaths. I’d surely created one of those self-defining life moments that would flash past my eyes when I walked into a final, welcoming light. God, I hoped not. Being forced to relive the shameful experience would not improve it. I glanced at the clothes again before turning away, ignoring all of them.

Outwardly, I remained still, counting the steady beats inside my chest. Possibly for hours. Minutes, at the least. Until my butt cheeks froze to numbness and my clenched jaw muscles ached. Inwardly, anxiety threatened to drown out my thoughts again as I ransacked my brain in an attempt to recall each moment of the previous evening.

All of my memories of very normal activities remained, right up to swallowing stupid amounts of painkillers for a headache throbbing with a pulse of its own and the ensuing desire to get to bed and sleep it off. After that, nothing. No recollection of arriving...somewhere—a place that must have been Mr. Brian’s house—and no idea why I might have done something so stupid in the first place.

I ran a hand through the bird’s nest of tangled curls on my head, my restless agitation threatening to leave a mass of Gordian knots in its wake. Stupid, stupid. At least my version of stupid only meant possible career-limiting embarrassment around my boss rather than meeting a grisly end. A walking squirm of a cliché, rather than a mortuary statistic.

Note to self: Bright sides.

DON’T FORGET TO GO OVER THE BLOGS BELOW FOR PART 3 TOMORROW

The Awesome Participating Blogs, Authors and Fans (WE Thank You xx)

*Bitches N' Books

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 AUTHOR BIO

 From a magical land of castles and kings (Okay, it’s England), Gina doesn’t feel as old as she looks, owns three children who can’t be tamed, and writes in spare – usually stolen – time. She sometimes bakes—not always with quite the desired results, and has found the only solution to keeping the characters in her head quiet is to placate them with lots of other lovely books and worlds. She has been published by Decadent Publishing, who currently have two of her books, both of which are romance titles – “Her Dollmaker’s Desire” and “Her Undercover Christmas”.

Social Media Links:

Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/ginawriteswords/

Twitter: @Gina_Wynn on Twitter

Amazon Author Page: http://amzn.to/2nN13Iz

Goodreads Author Page: http://bit.ly/2oeZVbX

Pinterest:  https://www.pinterest.com/ginawriteswords/

Website: http://ginawriteswords.com/

Email: ginawriteswords@gmail.com

[viralhottopics]

Six-month-long stretches of seven-day work weeks and looming deadlines: What it takes to be a strategy guide author

Image: Christopher Mineses/mashable

Ancient map-making required mastery over the disciplines of mathematics and astronomy, the means and courage to venture into dangerous uncharted territories, inhuman patience, artistry and attention to detail, and the ability to perch on the cutting edge of every new technological advancement your cultures most talented minds could muster. David Hodgsons job is arguably more difficult and certainly more tedious.

Hodgson makes video game strategy guides which, much like ancient cartography, is a lost art of primitive methods and painstaking processes.

Not that Hodgson would complain. He started working at gaming magazines in the 90s, but was always drawn back to the world of strategy guides. Currently working on contract for Prima Games, the largest strategy guide publisher in the US, he gets access to some of the biggest games in the world months before the public. And he slaves over their every detail, spending months and months gorging on each new obsession.

I think it’s one of those jobs that you kind of have to pinch yourself, he told me in his workshop a converted guest house behind his Spanish-style Southern California home. The room is equipped with comfortable seating, a large wraparound desk housing three monitors, countless books most of them strategy guides lining floor to ceiling shelves on one wall, and various macabre knick-knacks, from Lovecraftian posters to the crown jewel: Two replica Egyptian sarcophagi flanking the flatscreen like golden guardian deities.

It’s one of those jobs that you kind of have to pinch yourself.

Exact statistics about strategy guide sales are closely guarded info, Douglas Walsh, another longtime strategy guide author, told me over Twitter. As you can imagine, the sales today have consolidated around a few big hits: Skyrim, Grand Theft Auto, things like that, he said. [Sales] have also dropped off considerably, especially for shooters. The Call of Duty and Gears of War books sell a fraction of the copies they used to. But a big hit, especially as a Limited Edition hardcover, can crack Amazon’s top 25. Fighting game books in particular (and Skyrim, GTA, etc.) have even cracked the top five.

Despite those isolated successes, the number of guides produced each year is down along with sales to about 60 every year, half of what the figure was in the PS2 era, Walsh said.

Like vinyl records, the strategy guide as we once knew it all but died as a medium with the internets rise, transforming by necessity into a niche market for hardcore collectors and hobbyists. Hodgson said hes one of around a dozen remaining strategy guide authors.

In the middle of the afternoon, the rays of golden California sunlight barely grazed the exposed rafters of Hodgsons lair. He wore a black t-shirt with the words Who are you a ghost of? a reference to his brother Ian Hodgsons experimental musical act, Moon Wiring Club, described on its own labels website as confusing English electronic music. Hodgson often speaks wistfully of his succulents, and hes frequently sarcastic, though in the dry English way that you barely register after a while.

Each guide Hodgson authors is a massive undertaking involving a six-month-long stretch of seven-day work weeks and looming deadlines, gargantuan organizational conundrums, word counts and page limits, two-week spans of 12-hour days spent hunched over monitors far from home in a game studios back room, trying to beat every quest in a 100-hour RPG. Hes been doing this long and well enough with somewhere over 100 guides to his name (he lost count around 80) that he gets to pick what games he tackles. He mostly chooses massive role-playing games like The Witcher 3 and Fallout 4, simply because he loves diving deep into overwhelmingly huge projects. These are the types of games that seem to get more complex with every release. Each new feature Hodgson must chronicle and quadruple-check is another grey hair in his tangled beard.

I have a very understanding wife, Hodgson said.

***

The process of creating a video game strategy guide is shockingly complex. Look, for example, at what it takes just to make the hundreds of maps that go into the average guide on which Hodgson works.

In the old days the 90s hed draw maps freehand on graph paper and hand them over to a designer. But the games back then were significantly smaller than the ones he writes guides for now.

He starts by doing fly-overs in a special debug version of the game that still contains developer tools, taking screenshots of every single inch of the games exterior locations. In the case of Fallout 4, that included 3.82 square miles of irradiated wilderness and crumbling city streets.

What I’ve done is I’ve flown over the entire tiles of the map, multiple times, inch by inch. I do a north-south pass, I do an east-west pass, over the course of a week, he said. This isn’t playing the game. This is me floating above each sector in the game and plotting it out.

This isn’t playing the game. This is me floating above each sector in the game and plotting it out.

The game wont be out for several months, and its still very much in development, which unfortunately means that dozens of the points he and his assistants and co-authors have plotted in these exteriors could change.

Then you have 500 maps that need to be drawn of all of the different interiors in the game, he continued. You have to figure out first how many interiors there are in the game. So you go to every location in the game, and you see how big it is, then you estimate it, then you tell [strategy guide maker] Prima, ‘It’s going to be about this big. Find more mappers please.

At this point, hes still far from done. I’ve figured out how many primary locations there are. I’ve then figured out how many secondary locations there are that don’t appear on your worldmap. Those are just like, Oh, it’s a shed. Does it appear as an icon on the world map? No. Shit. Well, it has to go in the guide, he said. I’m talking about stuff that isn’t even a quest-related location. I’m talking about a pond with some barrels in it. Maybe he doesnt have to be that thorough not all strategy guides take inventory of every nonessential part of the environment the author can find. But thats just his personality, and its part of the reason hes so good at this job.

With the exterior and interior maps more or less complete, the rough versions based on screenshots are sent to a team of around 20 designers. Its now been weeks since Hodgson first received the early build of the game, and he hasnt even written anything yet.

He hasnt catalogued, sorted and described every single gun, sword, helmet, potion, blueprint, material, artifact, food, enemy, character, spell and skill in the game; he hasnt completed every possible branch of each and every quest, mission, side-quest, bounty, treasure hunt and optional objective; he hasnt compiled strategies for every mini-game, tactics for every boss, solutions to every puzzle and tricks for every fight; and he hasnt taken the hundreds screenshots that need to accompany it all.

A lot of it isnt playing a game necessarily its just checking something in a game and then checking it against an Excel document or a map or something like that, he said. If Im playing Skyrim for 6,000 hours over ten months with a co-author, Im not Woohoo! playing Skyrim; Im going here and checking to make sure that the guides accurate at that location.

The part of my brain that says ‘You don’t need to be this meticulous’ doesn’t work.

The games change in sometimes major ways, even after the guide goes to print. In that case all they can do is update the guides online component and point readers to the web should anything in the final book prove inaccurate. Whenever possible, though, Hodgson redoes a lot of work every time he gets a new build. For 2001s 007: Agent Under Fire, for example, he had to retake all of the screenshots two days before the game was going to go to print because they changed the color of one of the lasers, he said.

The part of my brain that says ‘You don’t need to be this meticulous’ doesn’t work, Hodgson told me.

***

Hodgson began working in the video game industry in the mid 90s after graduating with a history degree from the University of Sheffield in South Yorkshire, England. Hed wanted to become a history teacher, but instead used a PlayStation fan zine hed started called PlayStation Frenzy to get a job at Maximum, a new gaming magazine from a media company called EMAP.

He wrote massive 40-page features on individual games a precursor of things to come in his career while living on a disused German fishing trawler called the St. Michael that he says was moored illegally on the River Thames in London. They had to siphon power from a nearby car scrapyard.

It sounds quite idyllic, but it wasn’t, he remembered. It was dripping with different weird poisonous acid from roofs that hadn’t been sealed, and it was sort of slowly dissolving.

I kept my PlayStation, but not my sanity, he continued.

Maximum folded after seven issues, and Hodgson went on to a brief stint at Official Nintendo Magazine before receiving a call from Dave Halverson, publisher of the popular GameFan magazine.

Hodgson moved to LA and worked on his first strategy guides at GameFan for games like Super Mario 64, Soul Blade and Doom 64 under the magazines GameFan Books division. He flitted among various publishers and magazines until 2000. He called Prima, at the time one of the biggest strategy guide companies (its main competitor, BradyGames, would later be bought by publisher Penguin Random House and folded into Prima). He sent Prima his Metal Gear Solid guide, and they assigned him Armored Core.

That was 16 years ago and I’m still doing it right now, he said.

***

Hodgson flipped lovingly through his creations as we chatted, pointing out where hed embellished a simple description with some flowery joke, or where hed really gotten into it and written entire sections in the voice of a character from the game.

That love goes both ways CD Projekt Red, developers of The Witcher 3, built Hodgson his own tribute in the form of book merchant Marcus T.K. Hodgson, a character in the games Free City of Novigrad.

We just wanted to honor David for all the awesome work he does, CD Projekt PR Manager Radek Grabowski told me over email. This is just a tribute.

The Witcher 3 tributes Hodgson in the form of book merchant Marcus T.K. Hodgson

Hodgson seems to always go above and beyond. His humor is often self-deprecating, but hes also proud when he talks about some of the things hes accomplished within the limited medium of strategy guides, like the note he received from Hideo Kojima about his Metal Gear Solid guide in 1998.

Strategy guides were usually just go here, do this, go here, do that. I wanted it to be a bit more of an ‘official mission handbook.'”

He loved the guide. He liked the fact that I’d put box-outs for the history of the forklift truck in the first level, Hodgson said. Strategy guides were usually just go here, do this, go here, do that. I wanted it to be a bit more of an ‘official mission handbook,’ we called it. Kojima said hed shown the guide to his mother, who didnt really understand video games but of course knew what a book was.

For 2004s Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II Hodgson planned and orchestrated an easter egg on the strategy guides DVD pack-in: Pressing a secret combination on your DVD player remote results in a special menu where you can access videos in which the voice actor for HK-47, a popular droid from the games, quotes other famous fictional robots and AI. Hodgson was excited to get the voice actor involved for a secret he deemed so obscure although his assertion that Nobody A) cares or B) has ever found that, because we never published the easter egg code is more self-deprecating than accurate, based on the above YouTube video and this forum thread.

But he nevertheless lit up when he talked about it, or about the more creative work hes gotten to do, like A Fractured Land: Tales of the Northern Realms, a 96-page lore book that came with the hardcover edition of the official The Witcher 3 guide, or The Improved Emperor’s Guide to Tamriel, a 224-page illustrated guide to the lands of Bethesdas The Elder Scrolls Online that was packed in with the games Imperial collectors edition.

Hodgson wrote the Emperors Guide in character as the scholar Flaccus Terentius, conjuring the characters imagined journal entries as he walked the games fictional lands. It has annotations like Strange to find such Daedra worship among the devout, nestled next to detailed sketches, diagrams and paintings.

I studied history. Its sort of finding the evidence for something and then writing about it, and that was my transferrable skill, Hodgson said. If I wasn’t going to become a history teacher, I was going to maybe become a travel writer or something like that. And in a sense I am, except the places that I write about don’t really exist.

But travel writers dont go to Paris and painstakingly catalog every street sign and boulangerie.

Though travel writers much like strategy guide authors have been made obsolete. Why read a book about a place when you can simply search for photos of it on Instagram? Likewise, why buy an expensive book when everything you could want to know about every game ever made is a Google search away?

For one thing, you only have to look at one of Hodgsons guides to see the value for collectors and hardcore fans. And while the internet is always playing catch-up to catalog new releases in YouTube guides and Wikis, the official strategy guide arrives on day one (or earlier). That makes the physical strategy guide, ironically, the first choice for players who want instant, day one gratification.

“There’s a nice archaic nature to strategy guides that I enjoy. I can write about something that’s cutting edge, like Fallout 4, but I can publish it using 16th century technology.

Hodgson has his own reasons. I can’t show you the writings I’ve done for Maxim.com and Gamespy, because those sites aren’t there anymore, he said. Stuff disappears when you’re on the net. But this Akuji the Heartless strategy guide on paper, or in fact the Fallout 3 strategy guide that’s in the Library of Congress. So even after the bombs drop and we’re in the future apocalypse, you can go to the bunker down below the Library of Congress or even now, if you’d like to do it properly [and] you can search my books out. I think I’m the only person who will ever do that, but there’s a nice archaic nature to strategy guides that I enjoy. I can write about something that’s cutting edge, like Fallout 4, but I can publish it using 16th century technology.

***

Hodgson works on guides ten months out of every twelve, and he rarely plays video games for fun anymore. At the end of a long stretch, Im just sick of staring at screens, so I just go outside or I go and buy another aloe tree or an agave or a different type of succulent, he said. I maybe go on Facebook, but just to see what some of the people that I never get to see do. Friends.

You are suffering from extreme fatigue, and the dogs looking at you going I need to be fed and walked. Immediately, he said.

But if he quit tomorrow, hed still play games after a six-month sabbatical, at least. After your first week [off] youre just like Ah, sort of semi-retirement, this is great. This is fantastic, he said. And then another week goes by and youre sort of starting to get an itchy feeling. Cabin fever sets in. Youre like, whats next?

Hodgson recently wrapped up work on the Complete edition guide to The Witcher 3 and the official Watch Dogs 2 strategy guide, and at the time of writing hes putting the finishing touches on his Ghost Recon Wildlands guide. You can find his work wherever strategy guides are sold.

Mike Rougeau is a freelance journalist who lives in Los Angeles with his girlfriend and two dogs.

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