#its implied that the injury was Quite Jarring but then i didnt wanna

[malumae]

❛  isn't it ironic?  ❜ ( go on. give me angst. )

random questions for starters.

ren dabs disinfectant around a larger cut, a practiced precaution to avoid infection. something in the air shifts when veritas speaks and he finds that perhaps there is some unspoken irony to it all. then again, this isn’t anything he hasn’t seen before. blood, something raw and unfiltered, just a sprinkle of pain that stings and burns. ratio’s voice is the only thing that keeps him tethered to reality, the only thing that makes him believe that any of this is actually real.

ren wraps bandages around an open wound, a practiced motion he knows all too well. up, down and around. he laces it in a zig-zag pattern to keep it from coming undone. the feeling of nausea kicks in, stomach twisted in pain. it feels as if a void of anxiety has opened up in his very core, greedy hands searching for anything to hold onto and consume. again, this is not an unfamiliar sight. it should blend into all of the other times he’s been injured, exposed to obscene sights that can’t properly be described. carnage after carnage, the natural sound of a sharp blade cutting through flesh, the following stench of iron in liquid. this time is different, this time he wants to turn, run and empty the contents of his own stomach to get rid of the nauseating agony. 

ren finally acknowledges the irony of it all, a reluctant smile trying to ease the tension. if anyone is well aware of how strong the human body is, it should be him. regardless of overflowing abundance forcing itself upon him, cuts like these are usually not that difficult to handle. they require quite the easy fix and nothing more, rarely affecting one’s physical body or mental state. 

ren knows that he has seen it all before but not like this. hands reach for ratio’s, clasping it between warm palms, another heated confession brought forth by an unexpected turn of events. ren stares at the bandages around veritas’ arm, gaze shifting between their arms as if comparing something. it should have been him, or so he thinks, then at least veritas would not be the one injured right now. it should have been ren, he would have gladly suffered this injury if it was guaranteed to spare ratio of any unnecessary pain. oh, how ironic it really is. ren bleeds and bleeds & bleeds even more. all so that veritas doesn’t have to. to inadvertently care so much for someone else is still new to him, an emotion he still needs to master properly. where frigid walls once wrapped around a cold core, veritas has granted ren so much time and patience, thawing out a heart sealed in ice. 

“ mhm, the irony does not evade me. ” a thumb brushes over the bandaged arm and ren steps closer. just close enough to make sure that veritas is still there, as if his senses are not to be trusted. he can see him, hear him and feel him — yet something feels amiss. selfish, he labels himself as, for focusing more on his own feelings than whatever veritas is going through right now. part of him still thinks this is unreal, that maybe this is another nightmare his brain concocted to instill proper fear into his system. fear of what? this, whatever the fuck this is. this horrible feeling of worry and panic. this whisper that reminds ren that his lover is not safe from the jaws of death. the back of his hand searches for ratio’s cheek, begs for any type of contact that might help him feel better, seeks out comfort that veritas ( and veritas only ) knows how to offer. “ you need to be more careful. ”

ren does not hesitate when he leans in & plants a shaky kiss onto ratio’s lips. he lingers that close for another moment, maybe it won’t make the worry in his eyes so obvious if he manages to hide it like this. ratio is here, he is going to be just fine, he is alive. again, he repeats the same words over & over until they begin to sound real.

he is here. he is going to be fine. he is alive. 

“ please be more careful next time. ” oh heavens, he even pleads. “ i am not sure how pleasant living would be if i had to do it in a world without you. ”