#its helping me compartmentalize things and express things in a way I don't think I've been able to journaling or going to therapy

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

CW family trauma, issues finding support

Is it like too much to talk about on here how like, how every potential found family experience I've had turned out to be absolute fuckshit

The best experience I had was with my first roommates which was a family home where I actually felt like, safe and calm and happy and whatever but I wasn't considered part of the family which wasn't a bad thing but, like, god I was all nervous to move again but my dumb ass wanted to live the Cool Close Roommates Life and ig have a closer connection with them than I did with my first roommates but FUCK ME guess I should have stayed and not expanded my horizons by taking risks because apparently I sucked at doing that safely cause no one tells you shit abt overfamiliarity problems?? And people not telling you abt issues they have bc they don't even seem to be that aware of them??

I am trying a new approach now where I get to know people much slower before proposing the idea of being roommates to them but also I barely got to know my first roommates before jumping in so has it been blind luck or. Like idk I think things can go sideways so fast if you're not familiar with a person and how they live at home bc you don't have as much space to take distance and readjust your concept of your relationship with a roommate? Also for a lot of situations I didn't have much choice BUT to move out fast as possible bc I was trying to get out of the current bad situation? Idk I'm fucked uppppppp

But hey!! I realized a lot of my problems were not only bc of ADHD but also autism and that is realllyyy helping me recontextualize things!

Idk I am trying my best to deal with this constructively but just, fucking god DAMN. People say they want found family then their actions say they want family feud instead. Idk. Idk!