#its hard to fit everything thats happened in a blurb
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C&F: Corruption Arc
Featuring: @sea-and-storm [Ghoa Mankhad], @shaelstormchild [Shael Stormchild], @anchor-management [Anchor Saltborn] and [Brick], @afreesworn [Nabi Kharlu] and [Roen Deneith], @sentryandco [Egil Nylor] and [Estrid Nylor] + ∞ NPCs, @tribblesfuriousart [Buoy Saltborn] [Diya-something-or-other], @banquoviaquo [Gideon North], [Orfeuille], [Luri Kai].
Until Dashboard format isn't borked, you can view full post formatted correctly here.
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The group's search for answers has taken them from The Far East, to the shores of Vylbrand. Their continued research into corrupted aether leads them to investigate a reclusive "Doctor Nylor", a name given by an ailing man--Abner Funk--that had a curious and yet similar sickness as Anchor during a visit to The Salt Strand.
Things quickly go wrong when the group splits to investigate the lead on two different fronts: Nabi and Ghoa devise a plan to infiltrate a theatre posing as entertainers, while Anchor and Shael travel to Upper La Noscea to follow a lead concerning the doctor's apparent employment of ailing individuals.
Separated and without contact due to a number of troubling circumstances, multiple plans fall into action over the course of the following days--with the help of some allies and friends in the midst--all eventually converging on Doctor Nylor's residence.
Of course, no amount of planning could prepare them for what surprises lay in wait...
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Some closer-ups.
This pic took entirely too long to do. That is all.
Oh, just that and the fact I appreciate the people involved in this ongoing story of stories. It's been years actual years and that is pretty cool.
#art of#ghoa mankhad#shael stormchild#anchor saltborn#nabi kharlu#brick#gideon north#estrid nylor#egil nylor#luri kai#buoy saltborn#orfeuille#roen deneith#c&f#cigarettes and fireflies#art by me#ffxiv art#i tried to write a box cover-like style synopsis or something for this poster-attempted-group pic#its hard to fit everything thats happened in a blurb#there nabi i finally did it
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The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit
the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!
prompts + answers under the cut!!
INTRODUCTION
Name: aloera
AO3 account: aloera
Fandoms you write for: bnha
How many stories have you written so far: 19
FANFICTION PROFILE
What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D
What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3
Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo
Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD
Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it
What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction
first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me
Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best
Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao
Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!
FANFICTION PREFERENCES
Fluff or angst? definitely fluff
"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently
Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!
One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice
One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it
What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!
bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns
voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,
and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much
these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!
What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3
Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it
A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good
Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck
Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!
Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”
the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.
this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.
Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!
A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge
The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out
Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3
Ideal length to read? 5-10k?
Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!
How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?
Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)
What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc
Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho
What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3
If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!
Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd
WRITING STYLE
How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!
Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic
Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!
Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!
Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched
Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33
What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.
What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."
What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!
What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't
Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block
What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!
What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting
Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts
Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D
Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!
How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.
What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved
Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing
CONCEPTUALIZATION
How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.
Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense
Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell
Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment
Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love
Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)
Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all
Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao
Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with
Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!
PROCESS
How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like
What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up
What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove
Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort
Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget
Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh
Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later
Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D
What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.
for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!
What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!
How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men
How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society
How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh
Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)
How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it
PROGRESS
Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj
Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted
Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!
Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)
Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.
“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.
“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”
His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.
Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.
The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.
It’s not enough.
Open a wip. what’s the first line?
Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.
INSIGHT
What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy
How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!
What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!
What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj
i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!
What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue
One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling
One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.
A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D
A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell
Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!
Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D
#AHH ive wanted to answer these for so long...... bro fr i was so happy when u sent these!!! like wow!! finally got sent one!!!#sorry for how long the responses are idk how to be concise#asks#anon#a(lore)a
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Florida - A Stealing Second Extra | Baseball!Shawn
Hello, angels!!! This is me finally getting around to posting some Stealing Second blurbs because Spring Training is coming up and I can’t contain the baseball excitement. This particular piece takes place around eight or so months after where they were at the end of the final part and it’s 1.4k words. It can also be read as a standalone piece if you haven’t read the series, but if you’d like to read it, it’s linked in my masterlist!
A pre-read study guide isn’t really needed other than to explain Spring Training a little bit! Basically, every spring right before a new season starts, the MLB teams divide between Arizona (my home sweet home) and Florida to begin practicing again. I explain it a little bit more in the blurb but, as always, if you have any questions please feel free to ask as well as send feedback!
February was always your favorite month growing up, but for a somewhat unconventional reason. It most certainly was not because of Valentine’s Day, or even due to the (very) slightly warmer weather. February was your favorite month because it brought the beginning of Spring Training games: a glorious five weeks of exhibition baseball that culminated in MLB’s Opening Day at the tail-end of March. Every year, the arrival of Spring Training meant your family’s annual trip to sunny Florida for a week of watching the Blue Jays play at Dunedin Stadium. Once the World Series ended in October you would be majorly looking forward to the day when pitchers and catchers first reported to their teams’ stadiums in Arizona and Florida, and the countdown to the first Spring Training game began from there.
It was funny how quickly things could change.
As you’d gotten older, the family baseball trip eventually stopped happening. And, now that you were with Shawn, Spring Training meant over a month without seeing him while the team was down in Florida; something you were beginning to have to face the reality of. Away series’ were hard enough; you had to completely immerse yourself in the work that came with your new Media Relations position with the Jays in order to distract yourself while he was gone. You’d gotten used to having your boyfriend of eight months all to yourself now that it was the off-season, and you would soon have to adjust to once again sharing him with baseball fans everywhere. You had no idea what you were in for when it came to five consecutive weeks without him.
The point of Spring Training was to obviously get established players from the thirty teams back into the swing of baseball, but it was the younger, lesser-known players that got the majority of the playing time, as a large facet of Spring Training was giving new guys the chance to try out for an official spot on their team’s roster. Shawn had gotten loads of playing time last year, but now that he’d spent a full season as the Blue Jays’ starting second baseman you knew he’d get considerably less time on the field this spring. He was going to be gone for five weeks, and you would hardly even get to see him play.
On a Friday night in the second-to-last week of January after a particularly stressful day at work, you found yourself curled into the side of the couch in your and Shawn’s shared apartment, a glass of wine in hand as a random made-for-TV movie played in the background. Shawn had gone for dinner with a few friends he used to play with back in high school, and he was going to be home any minute. To say you couldn’t wait would be an understatement.
As if he’d read your mind, you heard keys jingling in the lock of the front door. You craned your neck over the back of the sofa to see Shawn come in the door, kicking his shoes off to leave them in the foyer. “Hey, hon,” he called, shrugging off his coat as he made his way over to you. You set your wine glass down on the coffee table just before Shawn sat next to you, a curious white envelope in his hand.
You quirked an eyebrow, motioning towards it. “Whatcha got there?”
He grinned, causing your brow to furrow and a small, curious smile to cross your mouth. “I have a surprise for you,” he stated simply, handing the envelope over to you. You took it hesitantly, turning it over in your hands to see if there was anything written anywhere on it. “The surprise is inside the envelope, believe it or not,” he added sarcastically, and you rolled your eyes as you playfully nudged his arm with your shoulder.
You delicately tore back the envelope’s flap, revealing a piece of paper that had been folded up to fit inside. You began to straighten it out, looking up to quirk an eyebrow at Shawn who just sat there smiling back at you. You returned your focus to the paper in your hand, staring at it until you suddenly realized what it was: a flight confirmation. A flight confirmation to Florida during Spring Training. You snapped your widened eyes back up to Shawn.
“Shawn, I--,” you stuttered, almost speechless. “I don’t know what to say. This is amazing, I can’t believe you did this for me, and--” Wait. You suddenly froze as rational thoughts began to flood back into your mind, and you let out the excited breath you were holding.
Shawn narrowed his eyes at you, moving his hand to rest on your thigh. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
You sighed heavily. “There’s no way I can take time off of work this soon.” You swallowed hard, knowing full well you’d just crushed him, but the smirk that crossed his face caused your brow to furrow even more.
“See, I figured that, which is why I talked to your boss before I even bought the ticket. You’ve got exactly a week off.”
“W-what? You talked to Greg?”
He nodded, sporting a grin that evidenced how proud of himself he was for pulling it off. “His one condition was that you send in at least three team status reports to MLB.com, but I figured that wouldn’t really matter considering you’d be scorekeeping and taking down notes and stats anyways.”
You giggled, partly out of pure giddiness and partly because of how Shawn knew you like the back of his hand. “Exactly. So that’s a very small price to pay,” you responded, pressing your fingers to your mouth. “I can’t believe I’m going to Florida.”
“We’re going to Florida,” he repeated, a massive grin stretching across his face as you flung your arms around his neck, tackling him down in a hug as the two of you erupted into a fit of excited laughter.
“I’m just excited to finally see you in uniform again,” you teased, face still pressed into his neck.
“Yeah?” he laughed, pulling back to shoot you a smug smile.
You giggled. “You know I love you in your jersey.”
“I love you in my jersey,” Shawn replied, and you buried your face back into the crook of his neck as you felt heat rise to your cheeks. He chuckled, pressing a chaste kiss to your shoulder as his arms wrapped completely around your waist, anchoring you against him as though he were worried you’d float away.
You laid there for a while, chest to chest with Shawn’s back pressed against the couch, until you felt him suck in a breath. You propped yourself up on your forearms, looking down at him and silently prompting him to speak. “I forgot to mention something.”
You frowned, a quizzical expression coloring your features. “What did you forget?”
You could see him trying to bite back a smile, and you began to giggle lightly in nervous anticipation of what he was going to say. “So we don’t have a game one of the days you’re out there,” he began, and you hummed in understanding, waiting for him to continue. “So right after our game the day before, we’re gonna go to a little island just off the coast and we’ll be able to spend the entire next day there. I got us a room right on the water and everything.”
“Wait, are you serious?” you interrogated, feeling your eyes bulge in shock.
“One hundred percent,” Shawn replied matter-of-factly, his brown eyes never leaving yours.
You pressed your face into his chest, almost too surprised to speak. “I cannot believe you, Mendes,” you muttered against his shirt, and he laughed. “You’re the fucking best.”
“What was that?”
You picked your head up, resting your chin on your hands that were pressed flat against his torso. “I said you’re the best.”
He frowned, making a show of reaching his hand behind his ear and tilting his head towards you. “One more time?”
You scoffed lightly, pressing your cheek back against his shirt. “You heard me.”
“Heard what?”
“I hate you,” you retorted, biting back a smile as you absentmindedly reached a hand up to thread through his hair.
“But I thought I was the best?”
“Whatever, Mendes,” you giggled, lifting your head to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw and letting out a little hum of content.
It was suddenly only a matter of time until you’d be seeing your favorite team, in your favorite place, with your favorite boy, and you couldn’t be more excited. Finally.
Feedback makes me very happy!
If you want to be removed from the taglist for any extra pieces I post, that’s no prob at all!! Just message me so I know. For this first blurb, I’m gonna keep it the same except that I removed those users it wouldn’t let me tag:
@ashwarren32 @d-arkestangel @idkseavey @yellowitsmendes @north1692 @calistheloml @perfectlywrongfm @gentleshawn @mariemmendes @shawnsmercy @wildest-dream- @shortieshake @shadowsndaisies @yourwonderbelle @madon566 @ruinmeshawn @itrocksmysocks @just-another-fan-girl-for-you @ilovejackavery @vnv21 @planstonightbaby @lou-la-lou @greteeweetee @shawnyimagines @helpmemendes @overactiveimaginati0n @princessflutterwolf @justjustyncase @falling-stars-never-cry @colorful-dodie @andreburakovskyyyyyyy @giveme-gaskarth @ayetami @x-seventeen-x @onlynarry @to-the-road @hollandechart @princessmendes13 @rare-breed-of-human @prettymuchboodup @jc-paramore @etherealchar @ykicantbefoundwithyou @choripxn @noodleboyluke @petit-funsize @heavenly---holland @the-claire-bitch-project @sleepybesson @zankivich @qxeen-of-hearts @begging-mnds @shawnsvlogsquad
#shawn mendes#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes one shot#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes blurb#shawn mendes fluff#shawn mendes imagines#shawn mendes one shots#shawn mendes fanfics#shawn mendes fanfictions#shawn mendes blurbs#shawn mendes au#shawn mendes aus#baseball!shawn#shawn mendes writing#sm#imagines
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Please Don’t Go
Request: Oooh what about an angsty blurb? shawn sees reader cry for the first time !!! plss
A/n: I combined these two requests because they fit, and I really loved how it turned out, hope you enjoy!
~
“Baby?” You ask when Shawn emerges from the bathroom, all ready to leave. His bags are packed and by the door. The car is already waiting for him downstairs. He’s headed out for a few festival shows and you won’t see him for a few weeks. Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal. Of course, you miss him whenever he’s gone, but you don’t normally feel this much.
“Yeah?” Shawn responds, running his fingers through his damp curls, and looking at you sprawled out on his bed, wearing one of his t-shirts with your hair in a messy bun.
“Please don’t go.” You whisper. You’ve never told Shawn something like this before, but you can’t help it right now. You know that you shouldn’t have said it. You know that its his job and that he doesn’t have a choice, but you can’t help yourself right now. You need him this week. You need him here with you. You’re not used to admitting something like this, so you’re feeling extremely vulnerable and emotional.
He doesn’t know how to respond at first. “I have to.” He finally says, sounding unsure now.
You close your eyes. Being vulnerable is easier with your eyes closed. You have to take a deep breath to keep from crying. “I know.” You say, but you want to cry.
“Y/n, what is going on?” He questions, confused. And honestly, you’re confused too. You’ve always been an independent person, not really used to depending on other people, until Shawn, that is. You’ve been together for six months, and you’ve come to depend on him, but you’ve also gotten used to being without him since he’s always traveling for work. This is so out of character for you.
“Nothing.” You say quickly, sitting up and forcing a fake smile on your face. “I shouldn't have said that. I know you have to go.” You say, forcing yourself to pull it together, for his sake.
“Wait, hold up. Talk to me, baby. What’s wrong?” He asks, wanting to be able to understand, but that question is one you can’t answer right now because he needs to leave.
“Shawn, nothing is wrong. I’m just being dramatic.” You respond.
“You’re not dramatic.” He replies, and he’s right. You’re not a drama queen, by nature.
“I am right now. You should go.” You need him to leave before you start crying. Of course you don’t want him to leave at all, but that’s not something you can change. He needs to leave and you need to stay, and he doesn’t have to see you cry. He’s never seen you cry before. You don’t cry often, and if you do, you normally do it alone.
“I can’t leave like this.” He says, stressed out now because he doesn’t want to leave you, but he knows he has to.
“Shawn, I’m serious, just go.” You respond, putting on a strong front. You need to force him to leave.
His phone rings, its Andrew calling. He doesn’t answer, just stares at you, “You’re sure?” He questions.
“Yes, baby. I’ll see you when you get back.” You say, leaning in for a goodbye kiss.
He kisses you back, wrapping his arms around you before finally pulling away. “I’ll call you as soon as I get there. Text me if you need anything.” He says quickly before rushing into the bathroom to grab his last minute things and throwing them into his bag before running out the door with his bags because he’s already late.
As soon as the door closes behind him, the tears come. You collapse back in bed, letting your tears fall silently. You’re crying so hard you can barely breathe. You’re overwhelmed and exhausted. This whole week has been too much and the next few aren’t looking any better. You just need things to stop. You already miss your boyfriend and you feel all alone even though he only just left.
You hear the front door slam, and at first you’re confused, until Shawn’s voice comes floating through the apartment. “Babe, have you seen my phone? I think I left it in the bathroom!”
You try to stop crying before he sees you, but it only causes you to cry harder, and you really can’t breathe. Shawn enters the room, and you can’t see anything through your tears, but suddenly his arms are wrapped around you. “Breathe, shit. Baby, you gotta breathe. You’re not breathing. Fuck.” He sounds frantic. “Baby, please tell me whats going on. Tell me how to help. Are you hurt?”
You shake your head in response to his last question. You’re sobbing, and you can’t stop, even though Shawn’s here now. He’s never seen you like this, and you were really hoping he wouldn’t have to. You haven’t been crying long, but truthfully, you were already worn out before you started and now, you’re exhausted and can’t stop.
“Y/n, y/n, baby, I’m right here. Shhh. I’m Here. I got you.” His arms are wrapped around you, and his presence is working to calm you down even though he’s all worked up himself. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He keeps apologizing. “I shouldn’t have left. You told me not to and I still did. I’m sorry. I won’t leave you. I should have listened.” This causes you to cry harder, even though you had almost gotten yourself to stop. You can’t express what you want to say now, but you didn’t mean for this to happen. He wasn’t supposed to come back and see you like this. He was supposed to be halfway to the airport by now.
You’re trying so hard to stop crying, but it always results in you not breathing. “Fuck, you gotta breathe baby. You’re freaking me out. Please please breathe.” Shawn says, still frantic. And you’re trying. You’re trying to breathe and not cry, but it only results in you crying and not breathing.
He doesn’t know what to do. There isn’t anything he can do. His return brought even more feelings of guilt upon you. You didn't mean for him to see you like this because now he’s not going to want to leave and it’ll be all your fault. There’s a reason you waited for him to leave before you let yourself cry.
He holds you tightly in his arms. He keeps trying to get you to calm down, but really, you just have to wear yourself out so much you don’t have any tears left. You’re not sure how long it takes, but you know it wasn’t just a couple minutes. When the tears finally slow, and you’re able to breathe in more than just a few gasps every now and then, Shawn finally lets go of you, “I’m just going to get you tissue.” He says before rushing into the bathroom and back in less than ten seconds.
He hands you the tissue and you blow your nose. You’re a mess right now, but when you finally can speak, you say, “I’m sorry. I’m fine. You need to go. You’re going to miss your flight.”
His eyes widen at you, like he’s surprised you’re thinking about his flight at a time like this, but of course you are. Thats almost all you’ve been thinking about. “I’m not going.” He says, decidedly, but his voice has a softness in it that replaced the franticness that was there earlier.
“No, you have to.” You say, not wanting to be the reason. You never wanted to hold him back, and now you feel guilty.
“Baby, the first time I believed that, I came back to you crying so hard I really thought you were going to pass out. I’m not leaving.”
“Shawn,” You say, swallowing the urge to keep crying, “Stop, you have to go.” You say, trying to push him away, but all your energy is spent, and he only pulls you closer.
“Y/n, I’m not arguing with you now. I’m not leaving you like this.”
You finally stop fighting and just relax against him. He holds your head against his chest with one hand and uses his other to rub your back, making you feel safe and loved. After a few seconds, your breathing finally evens out, and says, “Do you want to go wash your face? You’ll feel better. And I’ll go get you some water.” You just nod, and untangle yourself from his arms, going into the bathroom.
When you cry, its like floodgates are opened, and you find it so difficult to stop. Or if you finally do stop, you start crying all over again, which is how you find yourself washing your face and still crying at the same time. You really don’t cry often, but when you do, its always an ordeal. Although, it normally is one you do in complete privacy.
By the time Shawn returns with the water, you’ve managed to reduce yourself to just sniffles once again. He hands you the glass of water, “Here you go. Try not to drink it too fast.”
He trades his skinny jeans in for a pair of sweats instead, and takes off his jacket, leaving on his t-shirt. You finish the glass of water, and you feel better. You put the glass down on the nightstand and climb back into bed while Shawn disappears into the bathroom, emerging with his phone in his hand a few seconds later.
Even as he holds it, you can see the notifications lighting up the screen, presumably from the many people who are wondering where he is. He seems to ignore it, instead getting into the bed next to you. You immediately scoot closer, needing to be near him, and he wraps his arm around you, kissing you lightly on the forehead.
“I have to call Andrew. Are you okay if I call him from here or do you want me to go outside so you can sleep?”
���Please stay here,” You say, your eyes falling closed.
“Okay, try to get some rest. I’ll be right here.” You just nod, and Shawn puts his phone to his ear. You can only hear parts of what Andrew is saying, but you know that there is chaos going on with Shawn’s team right now because the most important person is not at the airport where he's supposed to be.
Shawn keeps his voice low, even though you know Andrew is almost screaming on the other end, which is something he doesn’t do often. “I’m home. There was an emergency, with y/n ... I can’t leave right now ... I know ... This is important, Andrew, I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t ... I know ... I understand ...”
You realize that you’re pressed against Shawn’s side before you’re fully awake. Suddenly everything comes rushing back to you, and your eyes snap open. You must jerk a little bit while waking up because Shawn immediately pulls you closer to himself, looking down to see if you’re okay.
He wasn’t sleeping. One of his arms is wrapped around you, holding you securely, while his other holds his phone. “How long was I asleep?” You ask, your voice unexpectedly hoarse.
“Couple hours,” He responds, “How are you feeling?”
“Alright, what about the festival?”
“I wanted to talk to you about that,” He says, “But I can wait until you’re more awake.”
“No,” You respond, your eyes falling closed. “You have to go.”
“Do you think you can come with me?” He questions.
The stress starts closing in on you. “I can’t.” You say, “I have too much to do.”
“Okay,” He says, soothingly, “We’ll figure this out, one step at a time. I can leave tomorrow morning and still make it there in time for the festival. I already booked a flight home on Saturday after my performance in New York, and I can be home til Monday because I have a performance in LA that night.”
“Is Andrew mad?” You ask, You can only imagine all the difficulties that are happening with scheduling right now, and its all your fault.
“Andrew’s fine, y/n, don’t worry.”
“I’m okay, Shawn. You don’t have to change all your plans,” You tell him, now that you’re more awake and able to finally think straight.
“You always say you’re okay, y/n, even when your not.” He says sadly.
“But I am. It was just a breakdown, Shawn. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“It wasn’t a big deal? I left you, and if I hadn’t forgotten my phone, you would have been here going through it all alone, and I would have been getting on an airplane with no idea how much you were hurting. Y/n, thats all I've been able to think about these past two hours.” You realize now just how worried Shawn was and how much it scared him seeing you like that. You’er trying to reassure him that you’re fine, but he’s not buying it. He might not be fine either right now. You wrap your arms around him, and tilt your chin up to kiss him lightly.
“I love you Shawn. Thank you for caring so much. I’ll be okay, I promise.” You tell him honestly. Sometimes you really do just need to cry everything out and then you’ll feel better. It just freaked Shawn out a lot.
“Can you promise to tell me from now on if you’re not?” He questions.
You nod, “I promise.”
#Shawn Mendes#Shawn Peter Raul Mendes#Shawn Mendes imagine#Shawn Peter Raul Mendes imagine#sm imagine#comfort shawn#worried shawn#boyfriend shawn#honestly loved how this turned out
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Day 5: Enchantment +: The Thieves of Time... Just say fuck it with me
Today was a fuck it kinda of day, but I made sure to do my Gigong before I said fuck it. I had a rough night sleeping after doing a rough divination with a client that just tapped my shit hard. When your running a low calorie diet, and using analysis it freaking happens. So today, I worked from home, and unfortunately... yep got little done on programming work. It’s not for trying right. Just cognitively, I was not in the game. Now, there’s this cascade of events that happens, when you start thinking about it. Those of you who work or even have a business kinda know this cascade. Shit, this would happen alot more when I was actively doing magic to break ( let’s be honest, its physical manifestation or bust) reality. Read on to see all that.
Shit now behind at work cause I was mentally fuckered for some reason and didn’t get much done ( outside of management, and even then.. eh).
Shit, I was already behind on things I promised people for my author publicity stuff, I really wanted to get shit done. I have a book on Sante Muerte, I really want to write a blurb, blogs, other shit, but shit gets complicated over the weekend ( which we covered).
Shit, 5 hours into fixing Deeper down, shits still not working .
Shit I had plans for the week on the social side of things, and that would create problems if I cancel things.
Shit, now I have extra pressure and stress to get shit done the whole week at work, because well I was fuckered for a day.
Shit now all those social obligations and publicity obligations really hurt, cause theres work stress.
Hahaha... House chores don’t do themselves motherfucker.
Shit theres no coffee in the house to feed the spirits, do I go out.
Shit I am too fucking tired to even drive.
Come to the weekend, try to catch up on everything and start off the next week behind.. repeat suckle.
I know this cycle with many people.
So at 11 after getting to the Chiropractor, I did the Gigong first. I got to about 6 pm or so, meditated my worries away, thought about shit, and I went to sleep, cause I was not feeling optimal. I should be able to do that. I got up at 10, to write this. Focusing purely on mental energy health, this was the right decision.
Now, there some people reading this will say. No shit man, this is pointless self-analysis. That’s what you should do, nor do I think it was right. There is no right answer and I think its not at all simple. I think many people are faced with decisions all the time, that are even harsher. It was not to long ago that I was asking the questions of, do I hustle and pay rent or get sick? But its all just a temporary lot of shit... spirituality of many faiths say, this is bullshit pursuits. I am not so sure right, worldly achievements are valuable if they have meaning.
But theres alot of costs to what I did. I didn’t get the Blurb done for Santa Muerta book meaning I probably will not be asked again ( I did tell the person I was coming off being sick, but that matters not). It does actually look like a fucking good book. That’s a publicity hit, and I keep having those. Less attention = less money. Keeping deeper down running, and more so not getting the bookings for the show done = another hit. Let’s not even start about me taking care of the family, and not getting any publicity done for a while. Even then, I know I did the right things, but lets ask?
Do you think the public as an egregore cares why I am not feeding the spectacle? A person gives a fuck, the pubic does not. Of course not, and to paraphrase Mr. Wednesday, its hard when you know you’re being forgotten. Facebook quantifies even that attention focus for us to make it even more toxic and even more destructive. Now we are cursed with mortality AND the fact that people will create any image they want for you. Now, like you I have family things to do, and other things. Really, the continual stealing of time is exactly that, but its more then that, its energy.
“The world is a Vampire set to drain”... yep ... that’s so emo shit, but in this case the song fits.
youtube
Remember, now words and writing can be meditation, if you do not censor yourself. The writing is clarifying my thoughts, the stream of consciousness shakes down ideas. Spending the time on Tumblr to write this is a type of meditation, to think about the patterns is meditation. Even the hour to write this on Tumblr is done in a context of “others”, but not so much. That affects the meditation and the analysis. When you start marshaling personal energy in units, or deep diving into self-analysis and doing the Qigong, in the way I am, you start becoming very aware of minutia patterns. Where the drains are happening, how the drains are happening, and those issues. Now, you can get all TCM about this and start applying this to specific Gigong excercises, but I am still rolling on that C-7 point, trying to prevent overworking myself and embracing some “dont give a fucks”.
Once you get on that spiral of expectations, it starts to hit you like a freight train. I am not whining about this all. How about a nice cup of fuck off, if you think that, but I am analyzing it. Before, I would tend to be more of a helping sort of magician, often in the circles I was running with that might even mean pretty serious “fuck off death” magic aka real shit, with little or no repayment from he people receiving that sort of boon. Where does that get you? No where in the modern world, and I have never had strong self-reward systems for being altruistic. Really, that self-reward, we know thats why people do “selfless shit”, right ( some people would call this self-reward system, “being a good person”, or “faith”).
I like achievement in the world. The World is the game. I got to be honest.
Sometimes, it even the best of us, have to take a step back. Yeah, many people selling shit will shift back the blame of the achievement gap back on you and say, you do not want it enough. That sells because we are all addicted to self fucking punishment that comes from a sick and diseased society that tells us work harder, and get more achievement. But it doesn’t hold up, and really the expectation train sucks us down and myth of hard work = success is vampiric of the highest order.
So this all goes back to the image started with, a thief. We need to be thieves for ourselves. Yes, I know, some of you might not like that metaphor cause “thieving is bad”, but think about it.
We all have expectations on us and around us. Some of these we can blow off, at a cost. Can we afford the cost, sometimes. Sometimes the cost is too hight to actually blow off. I mean it is hardly a choice to blow off your job, and not have a roof over your head. It is a choice, but its not really a reasonable one.
The hype and callousness of a whole industry will tell you so, but say no to that shit. Instead, steal the time to make little changes. Most people cannot just transition to a different “career”, or follow the insane advise to do what you want and the positive thinking cult ( when there are real responsibilities that really are not easily discharged), but we can change our mindsets around that. Even simple things like television and now the internet are purposefully addictive. Thieves of our time and energy. In a world of thieves, learn to be a better thief and steal it back, with conscious deliberate intent. One piece at a time. Theirs a whole lot of “anti-nominal” engagement with the thief archetype, and that is purposefully why I am engaging it like this. A thief is outside of “society”, and thus purposeful deviates from the expectation train. See what I did there? Just think on that for a moment.
Detach from the emotions of the expectations. You will let people down, and thats their problem. Realize it is what it is, steal the time from the other sources and then use that coveted jewel for expressly meaningful to you shit. We can steal that time back, because from the perspective of others, they believe they own it. If you want take a self perspective, you could say you revolting and taking the time back. I prefer to “thief” metaphor because it lets you build up on small tasks to get to that personal “revolt”. I am working on that revolt components too, but this is antinomial. People expect shit from you, when you do not comply they will punish you via social means. Some part of you has to embrace that anti-nomial, outside of society attitude, lest society tear you apart.
Say it with me, “I am out of fucks to give”.. It helps. Steal that time. Detach the emotions, and covet your own jewels.
15-20 minute a day for Gigong, not alot, but lots of benefits. Thats stealing the time back. Its the same with the Calories on my health plan, they are measured and weighed. If you are starting to quantify time and energy, like a thief... well then you can start seeing where the waste is going. Aka engaging like a thief, a particularly antinomial and anti-social archetype in a capitalist society, allows you to start weighing the impact and reward of the choices versus the time commitment.
Besides, saying it like this is way more fun then telling you to be “Mindful” right?
Want to see a different type of Thief, well how about Pirate? A little more romatic now isn’t it :) What’s a post with out Captain Jack.
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