#its happening!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

secret-smut-sideblog · 4 months ago

Text

The Hound

Lavellan x Blackwall

18+ scent kink, masturbation (m!), break up (sort of), angry sex, dom/sub, dirty talk, roughness, restraint, oral (f!), fingering (f!), face riding, control kink, hurt feelings, porn w/ light plot

Finally reaching Skyhold, Vella reaches her breaking point after Blackwall pulls and pushes her away again. Anger flaring hot into him when he comes to darken her balcony...

Masterlist, Prev Chapter

He shouldn't be doing this.

Kneeled on the blankets he knew harbored the maddening sweet of her scent, he stared at the discarded clothes she had shed.

As they traveled, she had taken up the burden of hunting for game. Something she turned out to be frighteningly good at. Arriving back to camp with a heavy shoulder of kill, shrouded in pine hidden clothes and breath damp cloth wrapped around her snow bitten cheeks. Teasing that if it wasn't so cold, it would be easier to hunt naked. He couldn't tell through the blood ringing in his ears if she was joking or not.

She was out now and had even allowed Sera along in a very trial based arrangement. Smiling ruefully at him as she ducked into his tent to change from her scented clothes, already pulling her top even before the flap closed behind her. He averted his eyes, but he still saw the soft curve of her waist.

Maker, was she was infuriating. The more he protested her un-ladylike behavior, the worse she got. Delighting in his torment the entire way.

Now, he stared down the discarded clothes that had hours before clung to her. Practically thrown in his small world. He could see it so clearly, her striding around tossing clothes like they were a nuisance to her.

His thighs tightened. The desire he had been giving only stalwart ignorance reared its head.

It wasn't a valorant exercise in restraint or any knightly chivalry that had kept him from his own pleasure. It was that every single piece of his need was threaded through her.

He was raw with it at this point. His abstaining only built into the gnawing thrash of a dog, pulling so tight against its chain it couldn't breath.

He couldn't continue like this.

With a shame that bordered on salacious, he pulled her clothes to him.

Maybe if he gave in, he would get her out of his dreams.

He pulled her underclothes, still with the slight damp of sweat on the hips from their hiking.

Maybe she would stop haunting the fabric of his desire.

He paused, mortified at what he was about to do. But not enough to stop the lift of his hand. The twitch of his already throbbing cock spurning on.

He held the thin fabric in his fist and took an indulgent pull against his face.

His eyes rolled back into his head. Hand tightly gripping his cock, he fell forward on his forearm. Huffing the scent of her against the ground like an animal. Gathering his precum to force his pleasure out in near agonizing bliss. Rocking back and forth into his own thrusts.

The sweet musk of her sex was far better than he had imagined. Taking command of his body in the way beasts must feel in rut. Near nauseous with need. Imagining his face buried between her thighs sent him fully forward. Just the meager of his imagining too much, too good.

How soft would her thighs feel around him? The plush of them grasped between his fingers. Lapping at her sweet flesh, the hard of her clit teasing against his tongue.

His fist practically blurred, bent down into his shoulder. Hand flat above him. Breath lost in her. Orgasm threatening at his back.

How would she sound above him? He had heard the whisper of her singing on the outskirts of camp. The call of it as clear as a sweet bell. Sending an ache through his heart in its beauty. If she was capable of that haunting siren call, what would she sound like crying out with him buried in her thighs?

Well past the point of no return, his eyes strained upwards. Huffing as quiet as his need would allow. Only flashes of her playing behind his mind. Body pulling and pulling. Gnashing at the promise of release.

He braced down into a curl, biting into his forearm as it hit him. White hot pleasure unfolding and unfolding inside him. Shuddering ripped from deep in his pelvis, belly clenching as he writhed against the ground. Giving in to what he always was; a beast spilling its seed on all fours.

It held him down by his throat for a few more tremoring contractions, huffing into the floor. Low involuntary groans with each strike from him. Exhaustion heavy in his limbs.

"Shit." He hissed. Some part of his subconscious had urged her underclothes to catch his spend. The fabric utterly ruined by his shame.

Worse, he heard the tell-tale sign of her return with the quiet cheer of their companions. Surely carrying the spoils of her hunt.

Fuck.

He quickly tucked himself back in his thick wool trousers. Fighting the panic in his gut, training his face into the impassive scowl he naturally wore. Shoving feet into boots.

She chatted with Sera as they set down their success. Catching his eye, she pulled down her face scarf to smile that terribly wicked charm at him. Cheeks so flushed, breath coming out dragon plume. If he was a beast, she was a spirit. Something that darted between trees and called men gratefully to their death.

Sera caught his eye as well. Sticking out her tongue at him, wiggling her fingers along her ears.

Vella laughed loudly, sticking out her tongue as well.

He nearly buckled when he saw a flash of silver embedded in her tongue. Hurrying to the river, cursing every god he knew under his breath.

He only felt a platonic fondness for Sera, but those two together... Maker, save him.

She sat in a low ridge of the rampart wall, leaned against stone. Staring out at the frozen tundra with unreadable eyes, an elfroot cigarette poised between her fingers. Already haunting the places he saught.

They had been walking for what felt like a near month but could have only been a week or so. Sending scout Harding out to 'survey' ahead, when really it was all Vella. Getting flashes of silver along her irises, smiling at Harding in thanks. Harding more than willing to play this ruse up for their people. Giving brief nods and assuring Vella that she had some 'promising leads'. Bounding ahead again to find more buried winter fruit and herbs.

When they reached Skyhold, there was an undeniable air of joy. The disrepair irrelevant, they had made it. Cheers and smiles spread like an infection.

While Vella gave small smiles in return, he could see the daunting stare she gave the place. Feeling the same overwhelm he felt, softening his heart further for her.

Now, the light caught her hair, undone from its twin braids. Flowing out behind her in spun gold. Her expression soft, lips slightly pursed in that way he adored. One of her few tells of dwelling thoughts.

"Something on your mind, my lady?"

She looked over her shoulder, smiling at him with warmth he hadn't earned.

"Hey, you're getting good at finding me. Come sit." She beckoned sweetly.

He paused, certain this was a bad idea. Settling next to her, grateful for the little slide she gave to press to stone for his space.

"Gods, this place is so... big." She sighed, pulling smoke between her lips.

While he usually found smoking an irritating habit, her choice of herb was pleasant. The elfroot burned sweet, leaving an aura as light as cherry tobacco around her. A smell he had come to recognize as another facet of her. Lingering in the air around the castle, drawing his nose up. A soft sigh of longing sitting in his lungs.

"I was thinking the same thing." He gave an easy dismissal of his hand as she offered the cigarette to him. He kept refusing, and she kept offering. That bone aching soft in her eyes when she did. As if the thought of sharing with him was the sweetest joy.

"Yeah, Haven was a lot, but it was manageable at least. I feel like I'm going to wander into a dungeon and never be seen again." She held her hands up in a pantomime of dissipating. Fingers unfurling in a little flourish.

"Ah, I wouldn't rest until you were found." He assured in a chuckle. "I'd lead the search."

"Oh, I know you'd find me." She gave that mischievous twinkle that meant trouble. "You've got my scent, my hound."

"You know, most men would be insulted to be compared to a dog." Ignoring the blush unfolding up his neck at her too close of a tease.

"But you're not most men, are you?" She smiled, pulling her legs up to fold beneath her. Tossing the spent butt over the ravine as she pulled her hair back in a twist. The act of tying her hair up somehow deeply erotic. The surety of her fluid grip. The raise of her arms behind her lifting her ribcage up. The action practiced in its hypnotic twists, taking a lockpicking pin from her hip to spear through the full bundle along the crown of her head.

He got so lost in the innocuous moment it took a second for her words to catch up.

"I am. And you can't afford to think differently. I'm a soldier, same as the men we lost at Haven."

Her shoulders fell, and he immediately felt sorry for bringing it up.

"I'm glad I didn't lose you." She hushed, eyes falling away from him. The vulnerability making what he must do ache like rot in his belly.

Please don't make me break your heart.

"I would die for you, but this can't go any further. I'm terribly fond of you, but this... whatever you think this could be. It's just not possible."

"We could die tomorrow, Blackwall. You know that." She turned to him on her knees. Eyes too wide in their soft questioning. His heart fighting his will with ripping teeth. "I would like to share more with you while we still have time. It doesn't have to mean anything if you're not comfortable."

He nearly laughed. How could intimacy with her not mean anything?

He rose back onto his feet, and she followed him up. Those wide eyes brimming with a desire to understand his denial of her too much. Casting his eyes down like the coward he was.

"My lady, don't. You're the Herald of Andraste. We must remain focused."

It was a weak reason, and she saw it. The curve of her fingers lifted his chin back to her eyes.

"Hey, speak to me." She gently searched his eyes.

He took a step back, huffing out breath. The desire for her in his heart too much.

She went quiet in front of him.

"Did I do something wrong?"

The hush of her question struck spear through him. The genuine of it spurning an ache he had to clench his fist to fight. To keep going. To keep hurting her this way.

"You're the Herald."

"I never... I don't want this. I don't want to be strong like they need. I'm not who they want from me. I dont want them to believe in me."

It cut him to ribbons to hear her say it out loud. And still, he must persist.

"But they do. It's too late to go back. Whoever you were is gone."

Her breath pulled in a hiss between her teeth. Body tightened into a curl away from him. Hiding the tears he knew were filling her eyes.

He was a bastard for hurting her. He knew this. The source of her identity was so raw in her heart. But it was the right thing to do. Please, Maker, let it be the right thing to do.

He turned from her to keep from stepping forward. To cradle her hurt in his arms.

"You must be who they need. Without your hope, all we have is despair. We're both bound. Our lives are no longer our own."

She got quiet again. Finally calling in an ached whisper.

"Why did you tell me you wanted me?"

Tears clouded his eyes, keeping his back to her. Heartbreak jagged in his chest.

"Please, don't make this harder." He urged, striding away from her as it spilled down his cheeks.

Vella focused her foresight into a point. Blade held between fingers. Searching beyond the silk tied to her eyes.

She breathed through the tender hurt that wouldn't stop circling her chest. Cigarette poised in her teeth. Arm curled behind her back forced to relax. Taking clarifying pulls of smoke.

There.

She flicked her wrist. The sound of her mark striking in a thunk against wood.

Her success cut short by the feeling of eyes on her back.

Please let it be Sera.

But she knew better.

"Sera would be sneaky about it. Or at least try to be."

She drew forward and pulled the blade from the target.

She had kept him at an arms length. Kept everything cordial and proper. A perfect lady. She had done everything he wanted.

"What do you want, Blackwall?"

She heard him enter and suddenly realized she was angry with him. Very angry.

"I wanted to see you. Its... not sitting right with me."

"What isn't? You got what you wanted." She held the hilt loosely in her fingers, turning blind toward him. The sudden desire to throw it at him rising up her back.

"I... I thought I did. But you've been different to me."

A bow snapped inside her.

She flung the blade and heard it snap into the wall behind his head. Hearing his shock before she saw it as she ripped the silk from her eyes. Striding forward in righteous anger.

"You want me to empty my heart of you and not treat you differently? How?"

She nearly took his throat, backing him into the wall. The blade grazing his ear.

"You can't have it both ways. I've been rather good to you, considering. I've resigned myself to walking alongside you, nothing more. That's what you wanted."

His eyes were wide, staring down at her with huffed breath. His body telling his arousal. Her own burning angry in her pelvis.

"So what, you want me again?" She challenged, head heavy with rising lust. Anger sharp as the dagger she pulled from the wall. "Fuck you."

He took a harsh pull of breath. Both staring each other down. Both coiled in the burning silence.

"Say that again." He urged.

"Fuck." She caged him against the wall. "You."

He rushed her, crushing his lips into hers.

She moaned, pressing hard into his warm body, the dagger scattered out onto stone. Kissing him back with all of the anger she had been holding in her mouth. Pulling at his clothes. At his arms. At his hair.

He moaned, the sound of his pleasure exactly how she'd imagined. A rumbling growl that bordered on a plea. Tangling into her as fire tangles into wood. Gasping against her mouth. Fingers holding her to him by the back of her head.

"No." He pulled away. "This is wrong."

"Shut up." She hissed, pulling him back by the front of his gambeson.

He pulled back into her like he had begged her to let him stay. Kissing her in desperate pulses. Breathing hard through nose. Pushing her back to the banister. Fingers tightly digging into the fat of her thighs.

She spread them and demanded him between, grinding into the hard ridge she knew she'd find.

"Is this what you wanted?" She hissed into his ear. Licking up the curve of it when he shuddered breath. His hands shot out to brace on the banister.

"Hmm, seems like it." She smiled, curling a leg around his hip. Snapping open his gambeson with her trained fingers. "Too bad I couldn't be all sweet for you, huh?"

"Too bad you've reached the end of my patience, now we do this my way." She pulled the gambeson over his shoulders. Sighing out at the heaving expanse of his chest, covered in a trailing of dark hair. Leading down his strong belly. Exactly the bear she had seen in him.

She licked a line up his chest, her tongue dipping into his clavicle. The silver piercing in her tongue grazed against his skin along her trail. He shivered, then groaned loudly when she pulled his nipple into her mouth. Undulating her tongue in what she knew was tortuous pleasure. Popping her lips and nibbling the hard nub.

A strangled breath left him, and he fell to knees. Lifting her robe over her thighs, pressing his face to the seam of her hip as he urged them apart.

Her head fell back, the near desperate nuzzling of the scratch of his beard against the soft of her spiking a jolt of need. Leaning back on the banister.

He looked up at her with begging eyes. Hands grasping her hips.

"What, are you hungry?" She arched her hips toward him.

"Yes. Please." He whispered. Hand rising up to urge her thigh over his shoulder.

"Please, what?"

"Don't make me beg."

"You're already begging." She took his hair in a tight fist. "Please. What."

He huffed breath. Eyes glazed over with heavy lust. Lost to her power.

"Please let me eat."

"Good boy."

His eyes heavy lidded and lust blown. Staring up at her. The delicious look of a man fully submitted.

She dug her heel into his back and opened to him. The underclothes soaked on her cunt his last obstacle.

"Eat."

He dove forward, pulling under her hips. Nearly taking her off her feet. Pushing his face into her clothed sex. Huffing and pressing into her with his nose. Already near delirious against her.

She shivered at the graze of his nose against her clit. Pulling her robe fully off with a tug on the tie around her waist. Falling into a silky pool around her feet.

He looked up, moaning out at her revealed body. Hands pressing firm along the exposed skin. Face still buried between her legs.

"So soft." He moaned. "Maker..."

"Your Maker isn't here. And I told you to eat, hound."

She made to pull away.

"Unless you don't want this?"

He gripped her hips, forcing her back with a strength that shocked her and sent a dangerous thrill up her back.

"Don't move." He growled.

"Or what?" She dared.

He pulled her hips hard, laying her out on the ground in one pull. Her hair splaying out around her head. Gasping out.

"You want to be mean? Oh, I can be mean." He rose over her. Ripping her underclothes down her knees. Abandoned at her ankles as he forced her legs open again.

"And to answer your question. I've wanted this so much it's made me sick."

He planted a hand flat on her lower belly, holding her down in a firm push of his calloused palm.

"Now I'm going to fucking eat. Or do you have more back-talk?"

She shook her head.

"Not yet."

"Bloody fuck, I can't stand you."

"Prove it."

He lifted her hips to his mouth with a pull on her ass. Bending her body up to him.

She choked out a moan as he lapped hard at her clit. His tongue perfectly curled and slurping against her. Fuck, he knew what he was doing.

His eyes burned down the writhe of her hips. Sliding her thighs up his shoulders. Reaching his hand around her hip to pull above his mouth. Latching onto her clit with his lips.

She shuddered as he sucked, his tongue cupping in fast pulls under the suction of his lips. Pleasure ripping sharp up her.

His fingers pushed inside her without warning. Thick and curved up into her navel. Not stopping the torture of his mouth for a second.

"Fuck!" She cried out, head turning against the cold floor. Her hips threatened collapse.

"Not done yet." He growled against her. Pulling her back into the seat of his mouth.

She moaned in soft calls, lost to her pleasure.

"Oh, fuck. It's so good. I'm going to-"

He smacked her ass hard. Soft skin blooming red.

The orgasm tight in her belly sharpened to a finer and finer point. The anger of his mouth and the thrust of his fingers too much.

Her whole body went rigid when it struck. Rising up into a curl as it forced out inside her. Pleasure ripping out a strangled shriek from her throat.

"There we go." He growled. Flipping her onto her belly, hips up as it still broke inside her. Sliding onto back between her legs.

"But I'm not done." He pulled her thighs back down to his mouth.

She cried out, his tongue too much on her clit.

He slowed for a moment, giving her a small mercy. Her eyes still lost in lids. Hips rocking against his mouth.

His mercy short lived, he lifted her hips to plunge his tongue into her. Earning him another shuddered cry. The clear sound and feeling of him gathering her cum into his mouth in messy slurps buckling her into him again. The nastiness of it grinding her into his mouth.

"You're disgusting." She praised, taking his hair into her fist. His eyes glazed over again. Nodding against her thighs.

"Licking me out like a whore." She hissed, leaning back onto his propped thighs. Letting him stare up her stretched body. His hands tightened on her hips.

"I bet you could cum just from this." She reached back between his legs. His cock greeted her stone hard and leaking.

He groaned against her. His hips thrusted up into her palm.

"No." She felt the tremor of her second release building in her pelvis. "You're going to cum from eating my cunt."

She tightened her thighs around his head. "Got it?"

He nodded, lost in submission again.

She rose on knees, lifting her hips just high enough to make him arch his head. Smiling down at him. Playing with her food.

Watching the empty thrust of his hips in delight.

"Oh, you're close, aren't you?" Her eyes met his again.

He gripped onto her hip, a desperation in his wide eyes.

"You're waiting for me, aren't you? That's sweet."

She pushed back into his mouth. His fervent sucking sending tremors through her again.

He whimpered into her cunt, clearly at his breaking point. Body tense and twitching under her.

She cupped his face in her hands, her own orgasm tight inside her. But she kept her touch gentle. He froze.

"Cum." She commanded simply.

His eyes clenched closed, face crumbling in agony. His cries buried into her cunt. Cumming up his belly in tight writhes. Hands bruising into her thighs, fingertips white in the dig into her.

Seeing him completely unravel under her sent her over. Shuddering as her second undoing crashed headlong into her. Riding into his mouth.

She fell back onto the floor, arms thrown wide. Gasping into the night laced air from the balcony. The cool of stone against her back a perfect balm.

He gasped into his own aftermath, similarly splayed out. Hand seeking her hip. Pulling her towards him.

"Get out."

He rose on elbows, staring shock down at her.

"My lady...?"

"No. You don't get to push and pull me and spend the night."

She stared back at him. Her anger still hot under her breast.

"I don't play games and I'm not interested in playing yours. I don't want to see you again tonight. Make up your fucking mind by morning."

She stood and gathered her robe. Tying it securely around her waist again. Tossing his gambeson to him.

He paused at the stairs.

"I'm..."

"I'm too angry with you to hear it right now. Go."

He ducked his head. Leaving her in shuffled steps.

She sighed when the door softly shut behind him. Sparking up another cigarette that she took to the balcony. Pinching her brow between fingers.

"Don't you dare cry, girl."

Next Chapter

#its happening!!!!#my girl said fuck ya life. bing bong #lavellan x blackwall #blackwall x inquisitor #blackwall smut #dragon age smut #lyrics from: you forced me to - lizzy mcalpine

21 notes · View notes

inbabylontheywept · 4 months ago

Text

the house i grew up in was a little bit of a fixer upper. for the first 19 years, my dad just sort of slowly fixed it, but pretty early on in college, he came into a large amount of cash and decided to just do the whole thing at once. so he rented a different house for like, 2 months that was just a block down from us, and then got a bunch of contractors to fix original house ASAP. it was kind of crazy, but it compressed many years of work into like, three months.

the sitting in a new house for three months was actually pretty fun. and i shouldnt really complain at all (staying at home while in college is a sweet deal)

but.

but. my parents are fairly hard of hearing, and their bedroom in the old house was in the furthest possible annex from everyone else. wheras in the rental it was just in the middle of the house. so without going into details, i was extremely aware that my parents were having sex like, eight times a day. my dad had just retired and i guess they were celebrating, which is great i guess, having parents that really like each other is way better than the alternative, but also, it did make me envy their deafness. i kept headphones on for so long that year i got literal ear calluses.

at the same time, the house my buddy from the shoe incident grew up in flooded. turbo flooded. they burst like, two pipes at once and the damage was so severe they had to redo all the flooring and all the drywall. his family actually had homeowners insurance, which is either incredible or suspicious for a family that used the drained pool in their backyard to store rusty scrap metal. so insurance was handling the work, but in the meantime, they were crammed into a very small hotel room space. we did the math on it then, it averaged about 80 square feet a person.

so one day i got home, and i was chilling, and then six rolled around, and apparently six o'clock was sex o'clock because my parents decided to flex their cardio. i grabbed my headphones and prayed that god would do for me what he did for beethoven, but that failed to work, and then seven rolled around and my parents were still at it, which again, very impressive, but was pushing me to swap out judas for mozart in those prayers. there's a definitive point where you stop praying to be deaf and instead pray that god could take you to a nice field and pop you like a gore-balloon.

i was about five minutes away from that point when my friend called me and basically said i have been stuck in a 500 square foot space with 6 people and i didn't have many marbles to start but what few i had are gone. please. if we are friends, if we were ever friends, take me out of here just for a moment.

and i was still pretty mad at him, but i had pity on the poor guy. also helped that i was desperate to leave the house. so i drove the chickenshitmobile to the hotel and i picked him up, and then we did our normal hangout activity, which was go to food city and buy produce. his normal house was, on a good day, nasty, and his backyard was, as i stated before, mostly used to store mosquito larvae and rusty metal, so what we'd always done before was just walk to the grocery store a half block away and leer at vegetables.

so we did that and it was like old times again. they had some radishes that were expired, so i could buy like, literally an entire grocery bag of them for about $5. so i did. i really like radishes. he got a coconut because he liked fruit and beating things with hammers.

which probably would've been great except we didn't have a hammer, so instead we spent about 30 minutes stomping itike it owed us money. when it finally cracked we cheered like we just got the winning touchball at the superdome and then he ate some of the flesh, and i ate some of the radishes, and we admired the black, starless sky of the city before i took him back to his hotel room.

and then we got pulled over.

i forgot to turn my lights on because the street all around the food city was ludicrously well lit. so it went from being pretty bright, to pretty bright and flashy, then i pulled into a parking lot and a cop came to ask us for IDs which is where everything went to shit:

i’d forgotten my license at home.

the cop was was actually kind of chill about it - he said he could get by with just an address. except i did not know my address. i hadn't memorized the new one yet. so i told the cop, my house is getting remodeled, i don't know my address right now. and then he went to my friend, and my friend said the exact same thing. house getting remodeled, staying somewhere else, no address, sowwwwwwy.

now the cop genuinely didn't know what to do. he went back to his car, and i was stressed that i was about to get into HUGE trouble so i started eating the radishes and my buddy started eating more of his coconut, and we actually managed to eat like a quarter of both before the cop came back. we ate enough produce that he could smell something weird in the air, and he asked what the smell was, and i said radishes, and my buddy said coconut, and the cop said which, and then we produced a large bag of droopy radishes and an absolutely brutalized coconut, and the cop was just like

so my buddy tried explaining how he was sharing a 500 square foot apartment with 6 people and wanted a fruit he could fight with power tools, and i tried explaining how i'd actually tried buying my parents like, board games and puzzles and stuff but nothing worked - the only thing my parents seemed to like doing right now was each other, and we both went on long enough and pathetically enough that the cop eventually went:

ok. stop.

and we stopped.

and he said do you know why i pulled you over?

and i said, because of my headlights, and my friend (who is hispanic) and the cop both looked at me like like i was the dumbest person in the entire world. and then the cop said no. that's why i'm allowed to pull you over. i checked your car because this neighborhood has a terrible sex trafficking problem, and i pull over every car i can to make sure no one is buying or selling sex. and you two are obviously doing neither. now i could give you, like, four tickets right now, but that would do nothing to make this area safer, so just turn your lights on, go home, drive safe, and try to be less stupid in the future.

and i said okay but i was thinking, you know, damn, this is just how i live man, i don't have a hidden third gear i can shift into. people can't just get smarter because it would be convenient. it's always convenient to be smart. i am literally trying my best.

but i didn't say anything because i was, slowly, learning how to filter what i said. instead i nodded and the cop left then i dropped my buddy off, and the last thing he said was said he owed me for responding to his SOS. I said he owed me for a lot of things, and he agreed that was true. then i drove home with my lights on, 5 under the speed limit, and arrived to a peaceful quiet home. I could’ve wept with relief but instead I went to bed.

the relief was short lived. i was woken up at 6 am by my parents. i swore, and then i prayed, and when i did not explode, i swore again. then i got up to make breakfast before my first class.

#babylon-lore #anecdotes #funny stories #the second dumbest traffic stop of my life #the first happened on a date with my wife #and it's a pretty good story #i #ll get around to that one eventually #like its not shoe story good but it's a funny little incident

10K notes · View notes