#its gonna take me like 5 business months to get over this one

[woonhakist]

i will literally do a nose dive off the top of the empire state this is the most pain ive been in since jay was announced p10 in boys planet like my chest is pulsating w pain rn the combination of haemin and minkkumaz angst is absolutely deadly and should be banned in a minimum of 20 countries

ugh to think that haemin going out more often couldve been something as positive and simple as him just coming out of his shell but all it was was him wanting to stay away from reader holy shit the idea of someone going against their normal behaviors to stay away from u is such a painful thought and since this is JUNG HAEMIN it burns like my heart was thrown on those hot coals ppl walk on and left there forever like an incredibly overcooked steak

then the slow transition from a happy loving relationship to something completely onesided is like the most excruciatingly painful process to imagine and having to read it abt the loml has me rocking back and forth … someone fucking detain me before i go clinically insane “‘bye’ and not ‘i love you more’” please id rather have an anvil drop on my head like im wile e coyote than have to go through that

god and haemin practically discarding reader like they were nothing when all they wanted to do was talk to their boyfriend that they missed … i felt like i got shot through the heart and someone (HAEMIN) twisted the arrow like a little bitch then reader just took it and accepted the blame … oh the PAIN

and then the argument right after that … i dont even know where to start like i was lowkey touched by haemin being like “ik u get agitated when ur in public for too long” then everything got thrown out the window and stomped on at everything else he said afterwards like “i just want to live without u bothering me constantly” but reader just wants to be w u DAWG WHYYYY then holy shit the “it means im having a hard time pretending like i havent fallen out of love w u” right after it srsly ran me over a minimum of 100 times then walked away like nothing ever happened like IT HURT SO FUCKIN BAD U DIDNT HAVE TO SAY IT LIKE THAT HAEMIN LET ME DOWN EASY

then haemin trying to tell reader they lied abt the things HE said and the promises HE couldnt keep and tried to turn the tables like “i cant be w someone who isnt mature enough to understand when i need time away” and it hurt even more when reader thought that obeying him would bring him back …. god it gave me flashbacks to how my dynamic was w [REDACTED] and it near killed me

god then the stalking of his social media and seeing how quickly he moved on but reader was no where near that srsly hit the bullseye and did circles around it UGH then reader seeing everything that used to be reserved for them now used for another bitch … haemin in his recycled hoe era like damn saving the environment but not readers feelings

bye and this isnt mentioned in the story at all but i can imagine haemin gossiping and complaining w kyungmin and the gang abt reader and that hurts like 100 times worse like haemin hating u is bad enough but the thought of his friends hating u too for sumn that isnt even ur fault is so very foul

i do really like readers journey on forgetting abt haemin and loving themself (reader realizing that theyre the star was so cute actually bye) but no ending is happy if haemin isnt in it sorry realistically id never be happy again knowing haemin fuckin hates me goodbye

this whole thing was so incredibly amazing and it seriously beat me the fuck up where it absolutely hurt like those tears and those ice cream sandwiches were no joke holy fuck u broke my heart w this one dawg u should literally be insanely proud of urself for this one my GOD

everything u wanted to get across was executed so well and attacked me like a thousand man army like sumn can hurt but it cant HURT as much as this did … lord bless rin for releasing that song cuz without it u wouldnt have released this godsent haemin fic this should be put in a tumblr museum or sumn (it shouldnt actually cuz i want to gatekeep this from the world like its rapunzel and im mother gothel)

and im not sure how to put into words how ecstatic i am that you wrote ANOTHER fic for me like dedicating prince sungho to me and writing glitter on our blushed cheeks for me was WAYYY more than enough but this … omfg … this was probably one of the last things i ever expected (props to u for keeping it a secret) but i could not be any more grateful than i am rn to have this written for me like u have to be an angel sent from heaven or sumn (did it hurt when u fell from heaven Lol) cuz this u r fuckin CRAZY for doing all of this for me 😢

welcome to another episode of “omi writes a gorgeous fic and jordan goes bananas over it” but its the “omi wrote it for jordan and jordan doesnt know what to do with herself” edition like god this isnt even JUST an omi banger … its something like a million times more intense … like idek a word for it but its kinda like a “i want this tattooed on my entire body” kind of thing 😢 but for lack of a better word CHEERS TO MY FAVORITE OMI BANGER TO EVER EXIST IN THE HISTORY OF MINKKUMAZVERSE EVER THIS ONE OVERWRITES EVERY PAST FAV OMI BANGER (im gonna say this abt so many of ur fics but that just goes to show how much i love ur writing) 🥂

YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO FEEL UNLOVED

there used to be so much love there, just two people completely infatuated with one another. you've been through so much with haemin, and you thought maybe he'd fight for your relationship. but even after all this hurt part of you still loved him.

PAIRING jung haemin x fem!reader WC 2.0k TAGS lovers to exes. angst. growing apart. asshole haemin. somewhat a timeline of denial to acceptance. miscommunication. OMI NOTE another little something for my @woonhakist because i love writing for her. except unlike prince sungho it's actually angst. sorry sungho ur getting booted out of this. this has been in my drafts for about a month but now i'm motivated to get it done for u hehe. i hope you like. ^_^ (inspired by just me by rin)

the skys were clouded with pillows of dark gray. it had been rainy recently, the smell of wet pavement becoming more distinguishable as it continued. you wanted to assume that maybe it was his fault. the reason behind why your days were always so dark.

it was common to fear the unknown. being innocently unaware of what was going on behind the scenes was slowly eating at your insides; making you feel as if you were the dead carcass of a street animal, being fed on by rats.

things were different recently, he was different. haemin was going out more than usual, a breath of fresh air in comparison to the introverted persona you were used to. despite your worries, he convince you that you didn’t need to know where he was all the time.

“i’m just hanging out with kyungmin and a few other friends. do you have to be so worried?” he groaned.

“it’s not like that, haem! i just got curious…”

shouldn’t you be glad? that feeling of relief knowing he was blooming into a person that could celebrate with others. it was growth, but not in the way you expected. more or less, he was growing into someone unrecognizable.

phone dials were met with an empty line. and even when he did answer, he ended the call with a simple ‘bye’ and not ‘i love you more.’

still, you loved him to the moon and back. every couple went through a rough patch, you understood that when you agreed to be with him. though it was difficult to convince yourself you were content with how things were playing out.

often you took long walks to distract yourself from the unread text messages. it was this time at noon that was most gloomy. your umbrella collected droplets of water, dripping down the side to barely avoid you.

you saw couples on the streets, holding hands happily. they took photos together and shared hot drinks with eachother to battle the slight cold. you envied them.

because in your head, that position seemed almost unreachable. he was so far away from you, farther than you could even realize. what used to be something special between your heart and his wasn’t recognizable.

that day, you stopped going on walks. everything reminded you of the boy that was falling out of love. you came home quickly, trying to outrun your own thoughts. the bronze plate with your apartment number came into view as you dug through your bag to get the keys.

fumbling with the lock for a second, you finally open up to your home. immediately your gaze lands on an extra pair of shoes by the door, making your heart skip a beat slightly. tugging off your own, you set down your umbrella in a corner to dry.

when walking farther into the house, you see haemin sitting comfortably on the couch. he looked busy on his cell phone, paying almost no mind to your presence.

“haem! i didn’t know you would be home, where were you?” you smile fondly, letting yourself sit next to him.

“oh. i was just out for a bit.” he barley acknowledged your existence, angling his phone slightly away from your view. you noticed this, but said nothing.

“did you have fun? it was pretty rainy out today so i hope you weren’t cold.”

“yeah, it was fine.”

“that’s good! did you eat while you were out? i can always make us something for dinner, though i do need to get some groceries–”

“are you done with your questions?” he said bitterly, setting down the device to look at you.

“i’m sorry haem, we just haven’t spoken in awhile and i wanted to see how your day was.” you said in a whisper.

“don’t be so clingy, y/n. we see eachother everyday.” he tells you.

“oh. you’re right, i don’t know why i was being so silly.”

“mhm.” he mumbles under his breath before getting up from his seat towards the bathroom. 

after the door shut behind him, the pit at the bottom of your stomach grew deeper. this wasn’t like him at all. the excitement that would underlie his stoic demeanor because all the love he had for you was overflowing disappeared. could you even call it love when you didn’t exactly know what it was?

every romantic word hes ever told you felt meaningless; what happened to ‘you’re so pretty, y/n. you’re so sweet?’

you could hear haemin’s muffled voice from down the hall, before movement of caps and containers echoed the bathroom walls. it sounded like he was on a call with somebody. he came out soon after, shaking the remaining drops of water off of his clean hands. 

“i’m going out.” he calls out to you before pulling his coat off the rack.

“wait! didn’t you just go out? i can go with you if you’d like!”

“no, i’ll be out late and i know you get agitated if you’re in public for too long.”

“can’t you just stay in for a little then? what about a movie night like we always used to have?” you rushed over to him, desperate to spend any sort of time together, “i just miss you haem..”

“did anything i say get into your head? you don’t need to so clingy, i’m just going out with a couple friends.”

“haemin…” you reached out to his hand, fingertips barely getting the chance to touch him before he was pulling away like you were the plague.

“god. i can’t do this anymore, y/n. i just want to live without you bothering me constantly!” he complains, sliding both of his shoes on forcefully.

“what is that supposed to mean?” you furrow your eyebrows worriedly.

“it means that i’m having a hard time pretending like i haven’t fallen out of love with you.” he sighs, “just give it a break, y/n. you knew were never going to last."

it felt like your world was collapsing around you. there was a confused look on his face as you stood there silently, trying not to cry. you wondered what it felt like to die, and if it felt anything like this.

they say your life flashes before your eyes, yet all that flashed was memories of what you and haemin used to be. you felt stupid to think that maybe it was salvageable, but the sorry truth hurt much more than this ill fantasy.

“but you promised me. you promised me that we would work through everything together, haem. was that a lie?” you choked.

“i wouldn’t make an empty promise like that, don’t twist my words.” he muttered.

“i’m not twisting anything! when you first confessed to me you said so many sweet things and promised to always–”

“i said give it up. that was almost a year ago, okay? you can’t expect me to keep a promise like that for so long.”

“are you serious right now haemin? after all that we’ve been through?” you uttered with a hurt tone.

“i cared about you, okay? but i can’t handle this anymore.”

“you’re my first boyfriend, i– i can’t let you go without at least talking first!” your words came out as a broken sob, but haemin only looked at you with disgust.

“and you were my worst.” he scoffed, “i can’t be with someone who isn’t mature enough to understand when i need time away.”

“but–”

“don’t even look at me right now, y/n.. i don’t want to hear you speak. i’ll come back and get my things later.” he leaves you with a bitter ending, before leaving out the door.

watching the love of your life leave you with no closure and not a second word was starting to physically pain you. you felt yourself drop to your knees as his sentences rung in your mind, stringing themselves into a sequence of utmost heartbreak.

cold hardwood floors comforted the red - hot heat that began to rise up your face like a wild fire. you were embarrassed of yourself, disappointed that you couldn’t grow enough for him to see you. see that you could change.

and while he was out with no doubt in his mind that he made the right decision, your world was shattering in the comfort of the home you used to share with him.

the only time he messaged you was him asking for you to pack up all of his stuff for an easier pickup. it was clear he didn’t want to see you anymore than he had to. would he see how mature you had become in the four hours he was gone if you obeyed him?

boxing up all of his things neatly, you stripped every memory the two of you ever shared together. your house feeling ever so empty from the lack of love, trapped in between cardboard walls. 

for what it was worth, you attempted to write a note to send off with him. however, your vision was too blurry with your tears, and you couldn’t keep them in. the smudged ink added for dramatic effect, but it was too much that it was impossible to read coherent words.

your head was scrambled everywhere, and for a second you thought he was right when he said you were immature. it felt like when you were back in highschool giving him silly love notes to hide in his backpack pocket. it reminded you of how he said that they were all still there, as he never bothered to clean them out.

why couldn’t things be the way that they used to? throwing away so much because there was a lack of communication. you wanted to see him, be with him. feel the pure touch of his lips sending shockwaves to your beating heart.

but since that day, you never saw him once. rushing to grab all of his things and get out of your life, barely escaping your desperate grasp. what was once a fond moment became a distant daydream.

you were so blinded by your infatuation for him, despite the fact he never thought of you like that. once again you failed to understand much.

and things only got harder from then on, your plush pillow absorbing your tears. the air in your room only grew heavier as time continued. 

at first days, then weeks, and months were going by that you gave him so much love from afar. a comfortable distance through your phone screen where he couldn’t spit such hurtful words to you again. it was difficult to bear with his selfish sense of care.

stalking him on social media didn’t get you anywhere really. he already moved on from you. though you were unsure whether your jealousy blossomed from the fact that she was beautiful, or that he moved on extremely fast. maybe it was both.

posts of his hand intertwined with hers, captioned with cheesy song lyrics that used to hold so much meaning to you. your music taste always tended to rub off on him. 

there were long paragraphs declaring how much she meant to him, and how she was such a breath of fresh air in comparison to his past relationships. these sacred words that used to be yours. and while you remembered what the two of you had together, he could only think of her.

still, you loved him.

but things got easier, even when you thought they wouldn’t. it took some time for you to realize that being alone was a lot easier on the heart. 

there was a big takeaway from this, being that the only thing he taught you what it was like to feel unloved. though everything that happened when things were okay, you’d never take for granted. 

the sky felt brighter, and you made your walks frequent again. you remembered thinking how dreary he’d make your days seem, but it felt like you were finally able to see the sun again. because throughout the multitude of stars in the galaxy, one always shone the brightest.

even when you were blinded by a haze, it was still there. maybe you were the star.

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[unreleasedwrites]

OMG i hope this'll be the first smut req ever on your blog 😂 can i have a smut of Gun w/ his s/o on wedding night 🩷 just no degradation please bc i'm against it 🥲 thank you so much 💖

- 🧸 anon

Newlyweds

character(s) included: Park Jonggun x fem!reader

cw: implied SMUT, sexual content, has plot, Gun is not mean (imo), praise, baby fever, swearing, completely consensual, couple + kinky nicknames 😭, breeding kink (?), teasing, my first time writing smut so have mercy on me 🤕, also i don’t think there is degradation here, I tried writing this in an endearing way where gun is not a meanie !!

❤︎︎ — written on Tuesday Night, June 4 2024 - until published

❤︎︎ — published on Wednesday Afternoon, June 5 2024 (arnd 3 pm)

༄ 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈 ༄ contains sexual content and implied smut !!

“Smile!!” Your cousin said with glee while she was taking photos of you holding her adorable baby, who was born just around two months ago.

The baby was giggling nonstop as you were playing with her in order to get her to smile. You held her with your arms while posing for the camera. It was such a cute moment, all you could think about was how dedicated your cousin was to attend your wedding despite having literal twin boys just recently.

The other twin was asleep in the care of his father. While you, along with your cousin, continued to take pictures of you with one of the twins. You were in an elegant wedding dress while the baby was nicely dressed in yellow.

People watched you with the adorable baby, some even suspecting that he was yours and Guns’. Others went into absolute awe whenever the baby would match your energy.

One of those people was your newly wedded husband, Gun.

He was chatting with some of his trusted friends whom he chose to invite, when he heard the commotion and looked over to the front portion of the venue, which was overly traditional, only to see you holding a baby. You looked so genuine and happy over a little thing, that it sort of confused him. You two have already talked about kids and he didn’t seem to care that much, but he’s held Yenna before so he knows how adorable they are.

But seeing you up there being so happy, and seemingly caring so much for a little infant— that made him feel an entirely new way about having a family.

It didn’t help that his close friends were pushing him into the idea, suggesting that the baby could be yours and Guns’ instead in the near future and that you would be doing the same thing. Saying you’d be such a good mother, with them knowing how you are around children since Gun has introduced you some time ago.

Given how traditional Gun and his family can be, they have been bothering him constantly about a baby while Gun just brushes it off. He’s too busy to have a baby after all, right?

Well, that’s what he usually thinks, but its almost like he changed in an instant when he saw you. From the moment he first saw you, up until now— he’s always thought that you’d look so good full of him, full from carrying his child.

“Nnnggh— Gu-Gunn..!!—” You whined helplessly as Gun continued thrusting into you, even after 2 continuous rounds. His stamina truly unmeasurable.

“Shhh.. m’gonna stuff you full with my cum, you’re gonna look even more irresistible,” Gun whispered in your ear without breaking his rhythmic thrusts into your little pussy.

Gun has been taking his sweet time on you, literally. He has been on top of you for what feels like hours now. Your usually tired after only one round, but tonight… who knows how much rounds you’re in for. He’s been acting all lovey dovey after he saw you with that baby, telling you sweet nothings and what not.

“I can’t— m’ too full alread—yy!!” You practically screamed from pure pleasure when Gun started dragging his cock in and out, teasing you of your closely awaited orgasm.

“Awh, my wife shouldn’t have to worry about that— After all, you’re doing soooo good f’me, taking me in so damn well.” He groaned in between words as he felt the teasing pleasure from dragging his cock in and out of your hole too.

You were an absolute mess at this point, Gun was teasing you of your third orgasm while whispering sweet nothings into your ear, knowing you love when he does that. With every phrase he’d whisper, he could feel you getting even wetter, if that was even possible.

“You’re gonna look so beautiful carrying our baby,” he’d whisper as he slowly pushes his cock deeper into you, slowing down his thrusts a whole lot just to get a reaction out of you.

He’s just in love with the way you whine and moan for him, the way you squirm under him only makes him even more determined to fill you.

He thinks you look so pretty like this, when you’re a moaning mess, with tears forming in your eyes from how good his cock feels inside of you.

His thrusts slow down but get even deeper than they already were, which you never would have imagined that could happen. He’s hitting spots you didn’t even know was there to be pleasured.

“Nnnnnghhh— d-daddyy… feels so.. good,” you managed to utter out, throwing your head back involuntarily. Fuck. That immediately brought Gun to a halt. His cock twitched uncontrollably and he finished right there and then, deep inside of you.

“Wh..What was that, that you just called me..?” He groaned while breathing heavily.

“Mmm.. you mean, daddy?” You replied, trying to regain some sort of composure and energy. His cock twitched at the name. You could tell he was only getting harder and even more amused with how this was going.

He only laughed in response and began to thrust in and out of you again, much faster than he was when you two first got in bed.

“NNnnn—! W-waitt!! Needa break—, ple..ase!” Your words only got him harder as he hit all sorts of spots which got you even wetter.

“No can do, seems like you’ve been teasing me on purpose since we woke up this morning,” He said as he leaned in to kiss you.

Your moans were muffled out by the kiss, and his thrusts began to get sloppier, “b-but m’legs hurt so bad..” You complained because you were practically folded with your legs having hung in the air ever since you two started. But unfortunately for you, Gun loves doggy style and missionary, and you do too— just not that much when you’ve been in the same position for so incredibly long…

“How’s my pretty wife doing?” Gun suddenly brings up amidst all the moaning and groans that filled your guys’ hotel room. He always wants to check in on his pretty girl after all.

“I don’t feel as tired anymore.. which is weird since we didn’t take a break or anything like that, but it feels nice....” You reassured him, knowing that he is trying his best to hold back on you, and not go overboard.

Especially since this is your guys’ one and only wedding night. He knows you’re already exhausted from walking around and chatting with all sorts of people and dolling yourself up because you want to look your very best for your guys’ special day. So of course, he wants you to be able to relax but still enjoy the special night. After all, this isn’t just another fuck session you guys are having, it’s different.

“haghhhh—, feels so good, Jonggun..” You said, much more relaxed with the pace of his thrusts.

Gun smiled at your little reaction, not in a mocking way but in the way that he finds you awfully adorable.

“My wife likes it much, much more when we’ve got no protection on, does she now?” He replied as he stroked your cheek with the dried off tears from earlier.

“Mhm,” you nodded as you stroked his messy hair.

You could feel his pace grow quicker and his breath hitched. It was evident that he was close and you were too.

“Gun, m’cumming—!” You suddenly shrieked when his pace kept increasing and he got impossibly closer to you, placing his lips on yours as you both finished.

You felt so immensely tired yet happy. He broke the kiss and brushed his finger over your wet lips while maintaining eye contact with you.

He had what looked to be an involuntary yet very genuine smile, which he kept on before lifting you up princess style towards the bathroom— Where he gently placed you in the bathtub and turned the faucet on. He got into the bathtub with you and pulled you closer so that your back would be leaning on his chest. His grasp on you is surprisingly gentle, relaxing even.

You both were in pure bliss.

notes: help idk 😭 I really hope this isn’t too bad, especially for the anon who requested it 🤕 I tried but yeah i’ve never written smut until now so sjeiehjsksiwjwkkss but I do like to read so I try to get some like tips from those iykwim

anyway i hope it doesn’t seem like degrading since i tried my best to write it in a nicer way but yk ig it also depends on how you read and see it on your own so yeah and yes i have a different layout and style for smut fics 😁😁

ngl i think this might be the quickest i’ve done a request… if not then its definitely the second 😭

- With or without proper credits, please don't try to steal or claim any of my works as your own

I genuinely appreciate opinions, feedback, likes, and reblogs

Once again, I hope this isn't too bad for my first smut fic 😭, and I'II be doing more characters in lookism so feel free to request!!

[tojikai]

LIKE A PRO!

Pairing: Toji x reader

tags/cw: 🌽star!toji, 🌽star!femreader, nsfw, alot. ykwim.

word count: 2.5k

a/n: i was writing something else but i can't stop thinking abt this soo. i just feel like writing smut. i miss toji sm.

“Looks like I’ll be coming over even without your manager's invitation.” 

🌽star! Toji who’s very in demand so he’s very picky with who he films with but you were surprised to see him arrive early when your agency made him an offer, eyeing you like a piece of meat and he’s a tiger that hasn’t eaten for months, ready to devour you the moment you get close enough.

When you entered the studio, you smiled at the crew as they offered to carry your bags. You were very professional and punctual especially when it comes to work so you made sure to arrive early. The fact that your partner was still tentative didn’t help with the tension. As an actress, you want to know thoroughly who you work with to make the scenes more effective. Having no idea who it is or how they are made you feel like you’re patting around the dark.

“Very early, huh? Excited to see me?” Your soul almost jumped out of your body when you heard a voice behind you. It was a deep yet velvety voice, sending shivers down your spine and vibrations to your core. You turned around only to be met by a naked chest. Your brows raised as your eyes traced the contours of his pecs and muscles.

There in front of you was none other than Toji Fushiguro in the flesh.

His hair was shiny and it fell so perfectly on his face. You can’t help but think about how good he’ll look once it’s wet with sweat as he’s panting under you when you ride his dick. He got a toothpick hanging on his lips and you can’t help but feel the squeak on your pussy every time he kisses his teeth. His narrow eyes look down at you like he’s ready to devour you and his nose—GOSH, his nose—tells you that the couch in the middle of the room won’t be the only one you’ll be sitting on later today.

He was only wearing sweatpants that hung dangerously low around his waist, showing his toned abs and v-line. Just from the outline, you can tell you’re gonna be sore after today’s shooting. Maybe you shouldn’t have taken another film right after this if you knew you’d be dealing with something that big. You tried to keep your eyes on his face because it would be embarrassing to get caught ogling your partner not even 5 minutes after arriving at the set but oh well… here you are, listening to his chuckles.

“It’s all yours later,” He whispered seductively as he reached behind you to get his bottle. They were right about him being overly confident. Well, that’s because he’s built like that. You also understand now how he can afford to be picky. “I-I didn't think you'd be early, Mr. Fushiguro!” You laughed awkwardly, extending a hand and he stared at it for a few seconds before taking it and pulling you close, pressing you to his chest. “No need to be so formal. In our line of work it's better to get comfortable early on, don't you think?” You can feel his hand slide deliciously from your back to your ass and you couldn't stop yourself from pressing yourself onto him while he murmurs in your ear. 

He has a point, though. In your field of work, the first thing you do is get comfortable with your partner. You don't have much time to get to know each other so it's better to jump into the business whenever you can. After all, chemistry and intimacy are the capitals for your job. Aside from the kinks, turn-ons and offs, safe words, and restrictions, it's also good to get used to conversing with each other so the script flows more naturally.  

“Well, yeah. That's right. I was just starstruck that the “picky” Mr. Fushiguro agreed to film with a rising star like me.” Your voice sounded sweet as you pressed yourself further to him, arching your back as you felt his hand slightly caress its skin. The smirk that formed on his lips sent tingles to your clit and that was enough for you to press your legs together, biting your lip. “Who wouldn't agree when the partner’s this pretty?” He squeezed your bum lightly, 

“We wouldn’t be filming until late noon, the director didn’t think Mr. Fushiguro would be here so he’s settling some things with the backup.” Looking back at the assistant and the people murmuring as some of them cleared the set, Toji’s smirk got bigger. You stared at his lips, wondering how that scar would feel on your skin. And before you could look away, you were caught by his eyes which seemed to have gotten darker at the opportunity.

You’re usually very professional when filming, but this man doesn’t come unless the partner makes him feel like…cumming. This is barely work to him. 

“How about I orient you with what I wanna happen first?” 

And now, your legs are wide open on a couch that was supposed to be used later, moaning his name as his fingers move in and out of your sopping wet cunt.

“Toji…” You moaned, watching his fingers diddle with your bud for a few seconds before being shoved back in again. He already made you squirt and it hasn’t even been 30 minutes since you’ve met. “I thought this clit only looks nice in the films.” He commented, smirking up at you as he places a kiss on it. 

“Oh my gosh…” You panted, leaning on your elbows, not wanting to miss a movement. Tongue darting out, he traced the sides of your pearl, moaning as he took it all in his mouth. The vibrations almost sent you to the edge again as you tried to press his face closer to you. You thanked the heavens that the crew chose to go out for a break and only a few were left outside. It’s not like they wouldn’t be seeing this later but getting caught like this makes you feel shy.

Taking his fingers out, you can feel Toji harden his tongue on your bud before he drags it down to your hole. “Ah!” You pouted at him, hissing at the feeling of his wet muscles exploring your insides. The way he moves it around makes you circle your hips, grinding your pearl on his nose and making him growl. “I knew this pussy would taste this good when I saw it.” You blushed, thinking about how he watched your videos. 

The thought of having him holding his cock as he jerks off on your clip makes you wetter than you already are. 

Kissing your clit one more time, he moved up to your lips, kissing you like he wasn’t here to fuck you like an animal later. “Mmm, both your lips taste so good, Mami.” He moaned, pressing your cheek as he coaxed you to open your mouth. You let him slip his tongue inside you, panting as he allowed you to suck on it before slapping your cheek lightly as he pulled away “Such a good slut,” He tapped your tit before pulling your chest to him, skillful tongue circling your sensitive nipples as his fingers played with the other one. 

“Yeah….” You moaned, pushing his hair back and exposing his forehead as he licked your button with the tip of his tongue. His eyes stared menacingly at you before you felt his finger caressing your slit again. He indulged in the way your brows bumped together when he sucked your nipples hard, pulling before letting go with a pop. 

Your hand found purchase on his still-clothed cock, painfully wanting to be let out of its confinement. “You wanna taste? Go on, Mami. It’s been waiting for you.” He chuckled, pulling his phone before filming you as you slowly pulled his sweatpants down. “Gotta have a little tip for me, yeah? Gotta have my own personal clip of this pretty mouth around my cock? Go on, baby.” The way he said ‘baby’ made your pussy clench as you squatted in front of him, naked cunt exposed to the air as you kissed the tip of his dick. 

“Yeah, spread those legs as you suck my dick. Show me how nasty this makes you feel, Ma.” You moaned, tongue sticking out as you licked his shaft, hand cupping his balls before you took it all in your moan. Toji grunted at the move, cursing at how you escalated things quickly from kitten licks to deep-throating him in an instant. “I gotta talk to the director too. How dare he take so long in inviting me to fuck this mouth.” He chuckled, pulling you by your hair to sit down on the couch.

You eagerly took it back in your mouth, letting your tongue trace the vein under his length. You whimpered as you felt him reach over to tweak your nipple with his fingers. “You’re such a whore for my dick, yeah?” He hissed as you bobbed your head up and down, pulling your lips back to prevent your teeth from touching his skin. Not long after, you can feel Toji’s thighs tensing under your touch and he was already pulling you away from him.

“Uh uh, not yet.” He whispered, throwing his phone away before dragging you on the couch. You instantly opened your legs, staring at him with lust and hunger in your eyes as you licked your lip. Toji watched as you spread your plump lips, showing him your entrance as if silently begging him to ram his heavy dick into you. He would’ve taken a picture if only his knees weren’t going weak from holding back.

“You just can’t wait, huh?” He rubbed the tip at the tender flesh of your core making you whimper, grinding your hips as you pleaded repeatedly “Please,” He cooed at your state, putting a hand behind your head before capturing your lips and shoving his thick erection inside your waiting cunt. You moaned in the kiss, feeling the pleasurable burn as he stretched you with his girth. He slowly moved in and out of you, groaning at the tightness before breaking the kiss only to urge you to watch as your heat took his length.

“Look at that, doll. Look how perfectly it fits inside you.” He moans, mocking your whimpers as he gradually went faster until he was slamming into you. His strong hands push your knees to your shoulder, squeezing your bouncing tits. You shamelessly called out his name, not caring if the staff could hear the two of you getting it on already. Hell, you don’t even care if they start filming now. 

“Yeah, wanna let them know I can’t hold myself around you, huh?” He growled, sweat dripping down his face as he parted your folds with his fingers. “Is that why you’re being so loud?” You can feel his fat tip nudge your g-spot, making you scream as you explode. “Oh gosh, T-toji—” You chanted, feeling his cock slip out, or rather get pushed out as you squirted on him, making him chuckle as he rubbed your bud quickly before pulling your hand and switching positions. 

“Messy doll.” He teased you, watching your body twitch as he laid down, placing you on top of him and you found yourself mindlessly rubbing yourself on his cock before swiftly sliding it in with a soft cry. “That’s it, fuck yourself on me, Mami. Show me how much you want my cum, yeah?” He reached for your tits, rubbing the pebbled flesh as you rolled your hips on top of him, hands caressing his glistening skin as you breathed out his name. 

Toji felt hasn’t felt like fucking a coworker before until he had your name on the email he got. Seeing your mouth open, and your glazed eyes as your body bounces on top of him got him hoping this wouldn’t be the last. If it was, he’ll make a way to fuck you again. Toji’s hand slid down your body to your swollen nub, drawing figures with his thumb as he shallowly thrust up to you, restraining himself from letting go and fully ravishing your body. 

It was when you leaned back, arching your body as you parted your legs wider that he lost control, ramming up to you like a madman as a rumble erupted from his throat. “You’re really asking for it, doll.” He put his hand on your hips for support as he fucks himself up in you, chuckling as you hit those high notes, and breathing harder as he hit the exact spot inside you. 

You looked so breedable, so cock drunk as he pounds into you, whining his name as you frowned in pleasure and struggled to keep your body from falling to the side.

“Toji.. keep doing that.” You whimpered, throwing your head back as you let him use your body as he pleases. Desperate for release, Toji sat up and laid you down without taking his pulsating length out of you. You can tell how much he’s trying to stop himself from coming, enjoying how you squeeze his throbbing cock every time he shoves himself in you. 

Yelping as he folds you in a mating press, Toji couldn’t even afford to let you breathe as he hammered his dick into you. “Oh fuck!” You cried, feeling him reach deeper into the new position. His face contorted like he was in pain as he repeatedly buried himself inside you, bullying your cunt as put half his weight on you.

“Gonna cum inside you, doll.” He panted, pressing his forehead against yours and smiling when you nodded frantically with teary eyes. “Gonna fill you up so good, you’re going to be asking for it again later.” The sound of your skin slapping against each other echoed around the room. Feeling his hips stutter, you pouted up at him, “Give it to me, please, Toji. Pretty please.” You breathed against his lips. 

As his thrusts went shallow, you could feel his tip rub the sweet spot inside you, making you cry out in pleasure as you cum hard around him. Your eyes rolled back in pleasure and your thighs trembled. The feeling of your walls spasming and contracting around him sent Toji to the edge. He managed one powerful thrust, hissing as he spilled all his essence deep inside you. You whimpered at the feeling of his warm liquid flooding and painting your insides. 

“So fucking good,” He rasped out before capturing your lips. Panting hard, he savored the feeling of your tight pussy clenching around him. You stayed in that position for a couple of seconds, hearing each other’s shattered breaths before he pulled out, eyes fixated on your winking hole. He licked his lips, smirking as you whined desperately at him. Your hip’s starting to hurt but you can’t bring yourself to care, enjoying the way his eyes glimmer at the sight of his cum leaking out of you.

“Looks like I’ll be coming over even without your manager's invitation.” 

[h3arts4harry]

- dissappeared -

- summary: y/n gets her first tattoo ever and shes lucky enough to have nicolas sturniolo as her tattooist, she comes in for a bunch more over the next week and they become best friends, what happens when y/n drops off the face of the earth 2 weeks later?

warnings: angst, tattoos, abusive dad, hospital, suicide, swearing, idk lmk if i missed anything

nick sturniolo x platonic! reader based in: LA, California

y/n 19 madi 19

chris 20 matt 20 nick 20

delilah "del" (22) cassidy "cass" (21) veronica "vee" (20)

-

=Y/N POV= -saturday-

im going out with my friends later for a well-needed girls night, we haven't gone out in so long due to us all being busy with work and our personal lives. i turn to my phone switching it on to see the time is 5:17pm and we are meeting at in n out at 7 to eat before we go to the club. i jump from my bed heading to the bathroom. i quickly undress, hopping into shower. once ive finished i step out and head to my closet to choose my outfit, picking through my hung up clothes i remember i bought a cute new outfit the other day when i went shopping with my sister, Nicola, i bend down picking up the shopping bag, turning placing it on my bed laying it out. i smile looking at it before putting it on. i step back facing the mirror, examining how it looks on me happily. i pick up my phone again to check the time and its 6:14 "oh shit" i mumble, swiftly sitting down at my desk grabbing my hair dryer out my drawer plugging it in. it takes around 25 minutes to fully dry my hair, messily section my hair and straighten it, leaving me 20ish minutes to do my makeup and leave.

-7:19pm-

since we're all drinking tonight we all had to walk or uber to the in n out, me living a 10 minutes away i walked there, leaving me to be a little late but when am i not so its fine. walking through the doors i see Delilah and Cassidy on one side of the booth and veronica on the other facing me, i run over to them "heyyyy" i smile sliding in next to vee, she side hugs me as del greets "hey baby", "took your time girl" cass laughs "you cant rush all this" i say as i push the hair from on of my shoulders. the waitress walks over and speaks as she looks up from her notepad "hi what can i get y'all?"

we all order and while we wait for our food to arrive we catch up on our lives. "so i have big news" vee starts, we all look to her "ur not preggo are you?" del jokes, vee shakes her head "no god no, not that i know of anyways" she laughs, "im moving to new York for fashion school" vee reveals, "OHMYGOD VEE THAT SO COOL" i squeal bringing her into a tight hug "im so proud of you vee" cass says as she and del reach over the table to join the hug "that's huge vee" del says in the hug". as we sit down vee carefully wipes her teary ears cautious to not ruin her makeup, "aw vee dont cry lovely" del rubs the back of her hand, "i just didn't expect you guys to be so happy about it, im moving so far" she sniffles, "of course we'd be happy for you vee" cass smiles "we're obviously gonna miss you so fucking much but we want you to be able to follow your dreams and if that means moving a mission away, we'll support you the whole way through it" i reassure her. "thank you guys, i love you so much" "we love you more girl".

-8:30pm-

we all finished our food and were walking to the new nightclub that had opened last month, we would've gone closer to opening but we couldn't get a date where we were all free. as we walk up the street we see a line leading out "oh my fuck look how long that line is" cass points in the direction we're walking, "youre joking" del shakes her head, "what the fuckkk" i drag out bringing my palm to each side of my head, vee just laughs "cmon guys im sure itll go down quick it opens at quarter to so we should be waiting like 5 minutes" she says.

vee was right, we waited for around 7 minutes before getting in. as we walked in we looked around in shock the place looked so cool, we all quickly made our way to the bar ordering our first drink of the night, i obviously ordered my favourite drink to ever exist, tequila sunrise, i worship the person who made these cause oh my god they are so good.

-12:49am-

i walk over to the bar to order another drink, no clue how many ive had already, we lost count a while ago. i reach the bar leaning my arms on the surface as the brunette women walks over to me, "hiya gorgeous, what can i get for ya?" she smiles i think for a minute, "urmmm i want to try something new, have you got anything sweet?" i ask looking at her big brown eyes "how about a margarita?" she tilts her head slightly to the side, "sounds great" i smile sliding my card towards her, "dont worry about it lovely, its on the house" she says turning around to start making the drink, "wow thank you so much" i smile looking down putting the card back in my purse.

-1:03am-

we left the club now, as we were all so drunk we were stumbling over each other as we walk, planning to go back to my apartment as its the closest. laughing loudly walking down the street cass notices something "guys guys omg" she speaks loudly over our laughs tapping our arms, "look we so should get matching tattoos" she points towards a lit building down the street, "FUCK YES LETS GO" i yell holding onto dels arms almost tripping us both over, "fuck it why not" del says, we all look to vee who is nodding "one thousand percent yes, cmon lets go" she says. we run down to the shop, i look in the window to see if theres anyone in there and theres a brunette boy sat at the front desk with his feet up scrolling on his phone, i open the door peeking my head through, "hey are you guys open?" i ask, he looks up in surprise "hi yes we are" he says with a smile, i walk in waving in del, vee and cass. "my names chris, how can i help?" he asks, "im y/n, that's vee, that's cass and that's del" i say pointing to each of us, i hope he doesn't notice how drunk we are and doesn't kick us out, "nice to meet you" he looks between me and the girls giggling behind me, "we want to get matching tattoos" i stated, "sounds great, i dont want to be rude but you guys seem quite drunk are you sure you want to do this?" he looks down to his computer before looking up again "tattoos are permanent" he adds, "we've been best friends since high school so im sure we'll be fine" del replied from behind me, he chuckles looking down grabbing paper on clipboards "here fill these in and once you bring them back we can get started" he said sitting back down, we thank him and go sit down on the couches by the window opposite him.

we fill out the forms and decide on getting four stars along the side of our wrists, we all walk back over to chris handing over our clipboards, "looks great, follow me and we can get started" he says walking out from the desk through the door next to it. "okay first clipboard is cassidy, cassidy this is madi, shes great, here you go mads" he passes Cass's clipboard to her, "good luck cass" me, vee, and del says as we continue to follow chris through a curtain separating the stations, "second clipboard is veronica, this is matt, hes quiet but one of our best, here" he passes vee's clipboard over and continues walking, "alright this is my station" he looks down at the clipboard "Delilah looks like youre with me" he looks back up, "make yourself comfy ill be right back" he places her clipboard on the table behind his chair, turning to me "okay y/n youre with nick, he is our best, trust me, i haven't got any yet but when i do im 100% going to him" he chuckles a little, i smile and nod following him, almost tripping over my feet.

"yo nick" he says turning to see the blonde boy asleep "oh my god wake up duffus" he says gently hitting the clipboard on his head "dude what" nick grumbles, opening his eyes a little then they immediately widen seeing me stood there "oh hey sorry" "its all good" i giggle slightly, "nick this is y/n shes getting matching tattoos with her friends, heres her clipboard" "thanks" nick nods taking the clipboard from chris's hands, he then walks through the curtain back to his station. "hey im nick" he smiles putting out his hand, i reach to take it forgetting to move my feet resulting in my stumbling over, hands pressed against the chair inbetween us "omg are you okay" he asks standing to help me up, "im okay just a bit drunk" i laugh covering my face in embarrassment. he chuckles sitting back in his chair after helping me carefully sit in my seat. "so it says here you want four stars along your wrist" he asks looking at the clipboard to his side, i nod "yea, one star for each of us" i confirm, "that's so cute, me and matt have matching tattoos on our arm" he says lifting his sleeve to reveal a cowgirl on his upper arm "i have this cowgirl, and he has a cowboy skeleton" he explains lowering his sleeve "i love that" i say looking back to his face from his arm, "have you gotten a tattoo done before?" nick asks sorting out everything he needs, "uh no, no i havent" i shake my head laughing a little looking down at my hands in my lap, "woah no shit? well its my pleasure to be your first" he jokes, i laugh looking back at him, "what about your friends, is it their firsts too" he questions, "no they all started getting them as soon as they could" i chuckle "del has 6 to 7, Cassidy has 4 and vee has 1" i add "how come you didn't get any?" he looks over to me "just never had the chance to i guess" i shrug.

-2:42am-

"i cant believe i like it so much thank you so much nick" i say, giving him a hug from my chair. "of course, it looks awesome im happy you like it" nick says hugging me back. after wrapping the tattoo, he goes through the aftercare instructions with me, but also puts a leaflet with all the information in my purse so i have something to go back on. we walk out to the main room where del, vee, cass, madi, chris and matt are talking between each other, "theres our baby" del says walking over to me wrapping her arms around me neck, "hi del" i wrap my arms around her back as we swing side to side a little squeezing one another. "del youre gonna squeeze her to death" vee laughs from the couch, everyone joining in laughing, del back up a little "sorry baby, how was it?" she asks lifting my hand, turning it to see the wrapped tattoo "it was okay, me and nick talked to whole way through it so i was distracted basically the whole time" "that's great, are you thinking of getting more?" Cassidy adds, del moves back to the couch pulling me to sit next to her, "yea i actually am" i proclaimed looking back to nick who was sat on the reception chair pulled around to us. we all talk for like half hour before they close up shop and we all head home, the girls coming back to mine.

-3 days later-Tuesday-3pm-

im currently walking back to the tattoo shop, i booked another tattoo with nick the next day of getting my stars. as i approach the shop i see a convenience store next door so i run in there and buy 2 bottles of water before returning, walking in chris sees me "hey y/n hows ur stars?" "theyre good chris thank you, i um booked a tattoo with nick" i smile standing the other side of his desk, "yup nick told me, ive got your details from last time so youre all good to go through" he nods up to me, "thanks chris" i say before walking through the curtain, madi wasn't in today maybe she doesn't work weekdays, walking through the next curtain i see matt scrolling on his phone, he nods to me and i nod back before walking through chris's station to nick's. "y/nn heyy" nick says getting up from his chair, greeting me with a hug, "hey nick" i say hugging him back. "nice to see you sober this time" he laughs "yea definitely" i laugh with him, "oh i brang you a water" i remember reaching into my bag grabbing both waters, handing him one "thankyou omg you didn't have too" he says placing the water on his table, "so just to confirm you wanted a lower back tattoo today?" he asks looking from the texts back to me "yup, do you still have the photo?" i ask, reaching into my shorts back pocket grabbing for my phone, "yea this right?" he says before turning his ipad to face me showing me the picture i sent, i nod with a smile "perfect" he says, as he pulls out the stencil, i lay on my stomach on his chair, pulling the top of my jeans down a little so nick had room to put the stencil where i wanted it. "hows this" he asks showing me the placement through a mirror "that's great thank you" i say turning back onto my stomach, "okay lets get started then" nick says with a clap.

-5:30pm-

"and we're done" nick announces sliding back in his chair, "that hurt way more than the stars" i laugh, "im sure it did, can i take some pictures for my profile?" nicks asks holding his phone in his hand, "of course" "okay, itll only be a couple seconds" he says before snapping away "thanks y/n", "always, i mean i wouldn't even have it if it wasn't for you so you can take as many photos as you want"

-2 days later-thursday-

"third tattoo in a week y/n? your crazy" chris laughs as i walk into the shop once again, "you know it chris, youre gonna get sick of me" i laugh, "i dont think i could" he admits, as i walk through the stations into nicks at the back, "hey girl, we doing the butterflies on the back today?" nick asks looking up from his ipad, "that's the one" i confirm putting my bag on the floor, "okay girl come lay down" nick directs picking up the stencil, i pull of my top leaving my top half in a bikini i put on so it doesn't get in the way for nick.

"it looks amazing nick thank you" i smile looking in the mirror, "of course y/n, you're my favourite client i could have you here everyday" nick says while wrapping the tattoo, "i would be here everyday but i would go broke" i chuckle.

=NO POV= like 2-3weeks timeskip-

every 2-4 days y/n came back for another tattoo, she now has a total of 10 tattoos which include her stars on her wrist, her butterflies on her back, her lower back tattoo, a flower by her boob, a butterfly in between her boobs, stars on her stomach, 444 on her arm, butterflies behind her ear, a hand tattoo, and a butterfly on her thigh.

y/n had booked in to come again to get 3 stars on her ankle in 3 days, nick had set everything up and was ready for y/n to walk in on time as normal so when she didn't he was a little worried but shrugged it off and shot her a text asking where she was. the time went by and nicks next customer had arrived, nick was concerned about y/n but carried on with his day as he would've. after the store closed nick packed up and met chris and matt in the lobby.

"wasn't y/n meant to come by at 4 today?" chris asked nick with locking the door to the stations, "yeah, i texted her but i haven't heard anything" nick replied, "hm weird" chris hummed.

-3 days later-1pm-

no one had heard from y/n. vee had gone to new york a week after they got their stars so she wasn't to aware of what was going on but Delilah and Cassidy was worried so they decided to stop by the shop to see if nick had seen her as they knew she was there almost everyday.

"hey Delilah, Cassidy, here for another tattoo?" chris asks from behind the desk, "um no we were wondering if y/n had been here in the past few days, we haven't heard from her and we know shes been coming here a lot" Cassidy says, "oh um no i haven't seen her, let me go get nick for you" chris gets up from his seat and walks through to the back station where nick is, "wassup chris" nick not looking away from his sketchpad, "Delilah and Cassidy are here looking for y/n" nick looks up at chris with furrowed eyebrows, "what" "yeah they're in the lobby, i said id get you" chris nods, nick gets up placing his sketchpad on his chair behind him before following chris to the lobby. "hey guys" nick says his eyebrows only slightly scrunched now, "hey, uh have you seen or heard from y/n?" Delilah asks worried, "um no i haven't, she was meant to come in what 3 days ago?" he looks back to chris who nods, "for a tattoo but she didn't show, i texted her too but no reply" nick shakes his head at the end of his sentence. Delilah and Cassidy just look at each other like they were talking to one another through their minds "do you think her dads back?" Cassidy says just above a whisper to which Delilah bites her lip shaking her head slightly while shrugging. "thanks nick, but um we're gonna go, if you hear from her youll let us know right?" cass turns towards nick whos leaning against the front desk, "yea of course, text me if she shows up i miss my boo" nicks says standing up straight. Delilah and Cassidy both wave as they leave the store. nick turns to chris whos scrolling through his phone "im gonna go back to my station Elizabeth should be here for a coverup in 10" chris looks up to his brother and nods before nick leaves.

-next day-4am-

'y/n'

nikk hel sent 4:07am

-NICK POV-10am-

"what the hell" i mutter under my breath as i pick up my phone from my nightstand. i haven't heard from y/n in like 5 days and shes finally texted me back but what shes said concerns me, nick hel im so confused, did she mean hello? hell? helmet? help? why would she need help? she probably just got drunk and misspelt hello.

'nickyy<33(tats)'

hey y/n! where have you been girl i missed you!! sent 10:17am

i shoot a quick text to the Delilah and Cassidy that y/n had texted me.

nick

heyy just wanted to lyk that i heard from y/n ^screenshot of nick and y/ns texts^ sent 10:23am

Delilah

omg thankyou for telling us dyk what she meant? sent 10:25am

nick

i thought maybe she was drunk and meant hello but idk, it was sent at like 4am i might just be weird but have a bad feeling about it sent 10:28am

Delilah

y/n wont drink by herself, shes always with me, cass, vee or some of her friends from work but they all said they haven't spoken to her in like a week plus vees in new york sent 10:32am

Cassidy

she spelt your name wrong and didn't finish the word 'hello' when shes drunk she can still type? sent 10:33am

Delilah

wait your right maybe she had to send it quickly and wasn't paying attention? but then what would she be saying sent 10:34am

nick

help? it would explain typing fast if she was in danger but what from? sent 10:36am

Delilah

cass did you find out if her dads back? sent 10:36am

Cassidy

i didn't think he is maybe he just got back? sent 10:37am

nick

whats up with her dad?? sent 10:37am

Delilah

hes an abusive prick who should be in jail but y/n wont say anything. sent 10:38am

Cassidy

Delilah rose. sent 10:38am

nick

i dont mean to overstep but wdym? sent 10:39am

Cassidy

y/n and her dad dont get along, hes never been good to her for her whole life but y/n will let everything go "bc hes still her dad" she says sent 10:39am

Delilah

he was better than he is now before her mum died sent 10:40am

Cassidy

he was still a jerk del sent 10:41am

Delilah

he was MORE than just a jerk but im just saying hes worse now sent 10:41am

nick

oh shit sent 10:42am

Cassidy

yea sent 10:42am

nick

so do u think her dad did smt? sent 10:42am

Cassidy

that's what we're worried about sent 10:43am

Delilah

he better not have or istg sent 10:43am

nick

cant we go to their apartment? sent 10:44am

Cassidy

we tried before we came to ur shop no one answered sent 10:44am

Delilah

she basically always answers the door sent 10:45am

nick

if her dads back in town would he go to y/ns apartment? or does he have a house somewhere sent 10:46am

cassidy

he would usually go to y/ns apartment, saying like he goes more than once every 100 years. he sold their childhood house after her mum died y/n said he said it was cause the pain was too much but it was obviously for money cause he bought some small shitty house in the middle of fucking nowhere and spent the rest on fuck knows what sent 10:48am

-timeskip-NO POV-

just over 2 months go by since y/n disappeared, they've gone to her apartment atleast once or twice a week to see if she shows up but still nothing. they went to the police but they aren't taking it seriously because shes 19 and 'most likely ran away', which they all find ridiculous. matt, chris, nick, madi, Delilah, and Cassidy all sit at the lake where del, cass, vee, and y/n would go whenever they felt they needed an escape hoping shell show up but mainly to try distract themselves from their missing friend. nick, del, and cass have been really down not knowing where she is or what happened, they called vee and asked her if y/n had shown up to her school or new apartment but nope, vee said she last saw her the day she left, shes said multiple times over the phone that shell drop everything to come back to cali for the girls but they said for her to stay, just incase y/n was trying to get here. vee and y/n had been friends for as long as they could both remember, their mums became friends when y/n was 3 and vee was 4 and they instantly clicked, so inseparable you'd never see one without they other, they were basically sisters.

the whole group was at the lake having a small picnic. they talked, ate, and swam from 4pm to 12:30am. matt and chris dropped madi home then went back to their house, while nick, del, and cass went back to delilahs, they tried texting y/ns number but to no surprise there was no answer.

-NICK POV-next day-5am-

y/n calling

"oh my god y/n??" i yell into the phone bringing it to my ear. "nick? nick please, its my dad, hes drunk again, i- i need help AHH" i jump dropping my phone, her scream gets cut off by the phone hanging up, i quickly call her back but im met with no answer. i call her again and again but to no avail she doesnt pick up.

i turn over in the bed to del and cass still asleep, i reach over shaking del as she was next to me "nick? whats going on its 5am?" she groans half asleep, "y/n just fucking called me an-" "omg what what happened" she cuts me off "she said her dads drunk and then started saying she needs help before screaming like shes in a fucking horror movie, then it hung up, i tried calling her back like a million times but she didnt answer" i quickly explain pulling on my shoes as del wakes cass. "whats going on" cass grumbles, "y/n just called nick we need to go now cmon get up" after hearing del, cass shoots up quickly slipping on her shoes. we all rush out of delilahs house, del slipping on her crocs by the door. we jump into cassidys car and speed just over the limit to y/ns.

as soon as we get there we all jump out and get to the front door, "dont buzz the door lets go round the back" cass says leading us round. we all rush up in press the 6 button in the elevator for the 6th floor. once the the door opens enough we push out and run over to y/ns door. i knock on it but it doesnt open, no sound or movement can be heard inside. "do you think they left?" i ask the girls next to me. "im not sure" del says trying to look through the peep hole, "its like no ones been here but where else would she be?" she adds, nick shrugs and so does Cassidy. "wait y/ns spare key" del remembers bending down to the plant pot next to the door moving around the soil inside looking for the key before finding it and picking it up, unlocking the door. "wont y/n be mad we're like intruding her home?" nick asks "nah its fine shell understand" cassidy places her hand on his shoulder as the two follow Delilah. "look around try see if y/ns here" cass directs before walking into the bathroom, "it doesn't looks like anybodys been here in months" del mumbles entering y/ns bedroom, nick going to the open plan kitchen-living room area. they all look around but find nothing.

-NO POV-

"Delilah!" cass shouts from the guest bedroom, del and nick rush to the room to see cass stood next to the bed, "what?!" cass steps aside revealing a big dark blue suitcase opened on the messy bed filled with males things, she lifts the tag connected to the handing reading it "george y/l/n, its her dads" she looks to the del with worry over her face "shit, did u see anything in the living room or kitchen?" delilah asks looking to nick, "i dont think so, but im not quite sure what could be different, ive only been here a couple times" nick purses his lips after his sentence. delilah walks behind nick to the room, looking around before noticing the corner of the kitchen island has chipped, she glides her finger over it looking around the area to see if anything else is different to then see a barely noticeable small dark red spot on the floor as if it dripped from the missing corner and was attempted to been cleaned, "guys look!" del shouts, nick and cass run in and see what del found. "what is that?" cass questions bending down sitting on her ankles looking at the spot without touching it, "i could be way off but it looks like blood" nick says mirroring cassidys sitting position. "i really hope its not" delilah mumbles "we should go to the hospital see if shes there, even if shes not itll be worth checking" she adds walking to the front door, "wait del you have something on your shoe" nick points out, del looks down picking off the paper, unfolding it and turning it to see it had been written on. it takes her a minute trying to read the messy writing "the handwriting is horrible, y/ns is usually like perfect" she mutters, "what does it say?" cass asks wrapping her hand on dels arm, nick the other side of del. "urm 'idk if any1 is gonna find this but dads back + his drinking is the worst ive ever seen and idk how long ill last wit him like this. im rlly scared an'" del squints a little trying to make out the words "it just ends there? in the mid of the sentence" del scrunches her eyebrows flipping around the note to see if she missed anything, "what the fuck" nick mumbles, "cmon lets check the hospital, bring that with u del".

-12:27pm-

they get to the hospital and head straight to the front desk, cassidy asks if anyone called 'y/n y/l/n' had been admitted and the receptionist confirms that only a y/n coleman had come in today, which caused delilah to furrow her eyebrows in confusion as her last name is coleman. she thought 'surely its just a coincidence' she looks to cass who has the same reaction on her face, they ask what room y/n coleman is in and the women says room 293. they all head up to the fourth floor, and walk down the hall until they see a blue sign hanging out above a room reading 'room 293'. cassidy peaks into the room to see y/n laying in the bed asleep with a white bandage wrapped around her head. "wait omg, shes in here?" cass says in a confused tone, walking into the room, delilah behind her "why has she come in with my last name" del asks, moving to y/ns side holding her hand. "im not sure" cass tilts her head looking around the bare hospital room, the only things in there being the bed, a chair and a set of drawers, all belonging to the hospital, as she opens the drawers to see theyre empty she looks to del, "do you think her dad knows shes here?" del shrugs. nick then walks into the room, "where the fuck did you go?" del questions, "i was talking to a doctor about what happened to her" he responds walking to the side of y/n opposite Delilah, "So?" cass walks over. "apparently some man, i assume her dad, came in with her passed out in his arms..

"i need some help over here" George shouts walking into the large building, 2 nurses rush over with a gurney, George lays y/n down on it and the nurses push it through the hallway, "sir what happened?" one asks, "she uh she- she was in the kitchen making herself food when she dropped her phone and banged her head on the counter reaching to pick it up" he quickly speaks in a serious tone, "how long has she been out for?" the same nurse questions, "id say for around 45 minutes. i brang her here straight after i found her and she lives 10 minutes away, 25 with traffic" the nurse nods to his answer as they push y/n into a room, leaving George outside.

after half an hour to an hour passes, a doctor exits y/ns room to inform George of what had occurred in the room to find no one outside waiting, the doctor waits outside for 5-10 minutes before looking around the hallways by the room. confused he goes to the front desk and asks if the man had left, the receptionist looks up from her desk and nods her head yes, "i saw him leave i think 45 minutes ago but dont quote me on it" she smiles, looking back down to her computer, the doctor thanks her before returning to y/ns room, he checks her making sure the bandage is on correctly and that shes stable before leaving.

..the doctor said that she hit her head pretty hard to cause it to bleed out but no long term damage though she does have black eye, a few broken blood vessels and a concussion." nick finishes. "woah" del sighs, "should she be asleep with a concussion?" cass asks biting the side of her bottom lip, nick shrugs "doctor said she hasn't woken up yet."

-15:38pm-2 hours later-Y/N POV-

i wake up to my head pounding, squinting my eyes open to bright lights shining above me i lift my hand up to my forehead where the migraine is rubbing over the area. "omg y/n youre awake" i hear from my right side, i slightly jump turning to see nick getting up from the chair. "nick?" i whisper, scrunching my face "yea its me, are you okay?" he says pouring some water into a plastic cup "i guess so, my heads pounding" i groan, taking the cup from nick chugging it down, "nick who are you- omg! y/n youre awake!" Delilah squeals running over wrapping her arms around me "hi del" i smile hugging her back, "del quieten down, she has a headache" nick says just above a whisper, trying not to worsen y/ns pain. "oh sorry baby, i just missed you so fucking much. where the fuck have you been?" del asks, sitting on the side of the bed, her legs hanging of the edge, "i-um its a long story" i shake my head, leaning my head back on the upright pillow, then cass walks in before she can say anything del quickly and bluntly says "sh dont be loud" cass nods opting to not say anything before rushing over giving me a hug, "hi cass" i giggle, reciprocating her embrace. "y/n was just about to tell us what the hell happened the past two months" del reveals, my eyes widen and jaw drops "its been two months??" i almost yell but my dehydrated throat wont let me. they all look at me confused, "yea y/n its the 27th of august" i look down to my lap with furrowed eyebrows. how the hell has two whole fucking months gone by "y/n?" i look up to cass speaking to me "are you okay n/n?" i slowly nod, not even believing myself. "what the hell happened to you baby" delilah whispers as her head tilts to the side in sympathy. "im not even sure anymore" i bring my hands to my face covering my eyes for a moment attempting to focus my racing thoughts. "its okay baby, take your time" del reaches and rubs my shoulder, making me flinch under her touch, "y/n?" "m'sorry i didn't mean to" i mumble avoiding all their eyes looking down on me, "its okay y/n, just take it slow and tell us what happened" nick says crouching slightly to my level.

after a minute, i take another sip of my water and sit up a little more "ill start from when my dad arrived, the closer to now its all sort of a blur" i take in a breath before continuing "i remember getting ready for my tattoo appointment with nick when the door knocked, i thought it was you two so i opened it without looking but to my surprise it was my dad holding a big suitcase, he walked in ignoring me, heading straight for the spare bedroom, i obviously followed him and asked him what he was doing, he told me he needed somewhere to stay and that because im his daughter i had to help him so i did-" i interrupt myself with a coughing fit, bring my left hand to cover my mouth. "here y/n drink your water" nick tries to help passing me a refilled cup of water, i take it and bring it to my mouth drinking almost all of it, my coughs stop and i clear my throat "sorry, um what was i saying?" "you let your dad in" "right yea um, so i let him and i said about his drinking and he slapped me and said not to question him and to remember my place, i guess i had to deal with that for a few days before he started to get worse" i sniffle and wipe the tear that started to brim my waterline, "he uh he broke my phone and started to get more violent" "oh baby' cas whispers leaning me into her chest, wrapping her arms around me. "its all kind of a blur from there, im sorry" i sniffle again, a few tears fall down my face, "no y/n dont you dare apologise okay" del snaps "none of this is on you, its on that horrible man" "del calm down" Cassidy says as i look down to my hands fiddling with each other. "no cass, no i wont calm down because no one should be treated like this its disgusting. it makes me literally want to-" "Delilah rose stop it right now!" cassidy speaks firmly instantly shutting Delilah up, "thank you" she says politely, "im sorry y/n i didn't want to shout" she mumbles next to my ear. del walks over to me gently bringing her hand to the large purple bruise spread over my cheek and jaw, rubbing her thumb over it "im sorry baby, i just hate to see you hurt" i lean into her hand and close my eyes, finding comfort in dels hand and the slight pain from the bruise. i open my eyes a second later to see Delilah looking at me with a small smirk, "what?" i lift my head from her hand, "nothing" she mumbles backing away.

after 20 minutes of just talking, comforting each other, the doctor walks in. "hello y/n, how are you feeling?" she kindly smiles, holding a clipboard to her chest, "i have a bad headache but im okay" i smile back, she asks if i want tablets to help to which i nod, she steps outside for a moment before coming back in handing me some with a bottle of water "thank you" i say taking 2 of the pills. "if you feel well enough, the hospital says youre allowed to go home" i smile nodding a little "yea, yea i do" "of course, just remember you have a concussion meaning headaches and trouble with concentration, memory, balance, mood and sleep, and they usually last between 14 and 21 days. and then with the broken blood vessels if you place a cool compress on them and they should soon clear up. i have this paper bag that has information about everything if you need it and some pills for any migraines or pains you may experience" she informs handing me to light blue bag "thank you".

-20:12pm-10 mins later-

"right so where are we going?" Cassidy asks as we all pile into her car, Delilah helping me into the seat behind Cassidy. "we can go back to mine? i think matt chris and madi are there" nick says pulling on his seatbelt, "sounds good" Cassidy nods starting the car.

-20:33pm-20 minutes later-

we pull up to nicks house and we all click of our seatbelts, Cassidy opens my door and helps me out while del runs over to help. we walk through the front door following cass whos following nicks up the stairs into their living room, who matt and madi were sat. "holy shit y/n?" madi says jumping up rushing over bringing me into a hug, "what?! no way is y/n here?!!" chris shouts from the bathroom, you can hear him rushing out to see if im actually here. "no fucking way" matt stands up pulling me into a side up after madi let go. chris then runs out the bathroom wrapping his hands around my shoulders "i cant believe youre actually here" he says grinning, "me neither" i mumble, he takes a step back placing his palms on the corners of my shoulders, "are you okay? where have you been??" he goes on to ramble before nick stops him, "chris she just walked through the door, please give her a minute" he says as we all walk to the sofa, sitting down. "im okay" i sigh a little.

everyone talks in their conversations, while ive been sitting in silence spacing out then Delilah wraps her arm around me, "are you okay y/n?" "mhm" i nod absently, "baby look at me" i slowly turn to look at her seeing a concerned look over her face, "whats going on?" "m'just tired del" i hum. "okay c'mere" she says bringing me into her chest, i lay there and close my eyes, easily falling asleep.

-NO POV-

"is she okay?" matt asks from the end of the sofa, "yea shes just tired" Delilah nods, stroking her fingers through y/ns hair. "i dont wanna overstep but is there something going on between you and y/n?" chris leans forward looking at the two sat together, blocking their view of madi and cassidy sharing the corner, "no not at all, shes my best friend", cassidy laughs a little shaking her head a little "del calls y/n baby because y/ns the youngest and smallest out of all of us, so shes like our baby" "ohhh" chris leans against the back of the sofa. nick turns to cass and whispers in her ear "theres gotta be something going on between them to or am i reading this all wrong?" to which she quietly giggles and whispers in his ear "oh a hundred percent, i just dont think they know it yet" she nods in the direction of me and delilah laying together.

after another couple hours of talking everyone eventually goes to bed, madi and nick going to nicks room, matt and chris going to matts room, and Cassidy going to chris room. Delilah decided to stay on the couch with y/n, not wanting to disturb her sleep.

-7pm-Y/N POV-

we all hung out today at the triplets house, we watched movies, ate snacks, talked and what not. "i thinks its time i go home, its getting late and i wanna get in my bed" i laugh a little nearing the end of my sentence, "what if your dads there n/n" cass asks, "im not sure if he will be, if hes the one who brang me to the hospital he would've for sure disappeared after" i shrug, "let me take you, then i can be there for you if he is" matt suggest standing up, "thank you matt" i say getting up but then falling back onto the sofa, i chuckle before speaking again "got a bit dizzy there" i try stand up again but delilah stands with me, "ill come with, see you later everyone" "byee" we all exchange byes before walking down to the garage.

-7:56pm-

"okay we're here, ill walk up with you two incase your dads there then once everything is all good ill leave you two be" matt speaks, getting out the car following me and delilah, "Sounds good" i say and delilah nods. once we get up to my apartment you can see the door is slightly ajar, "del the doors open" i whisper pointing to the door, she turns to matt behind us who has furrowed brows and is walking to get ahead of us. he reaches the door as pushes it open to see an empty apartment, "is he in there?" del asks, matt shakes his head, "doesn't look like it" he stated walking in, looking around, "y/n theres a note on the counter" he yells from the kitchen, me and del walk in hand in hand into the room. i look at the counter picking up the note, i open it and read;

'y/n if youre reading this that means you got home okay i want you to know that im sorry im not the father you deserve which is why you wont have to deal with me anymore i should've quit drinking for you but i just couldn't its not your fault, none of this im sorry it had to be this way mum would be proud of you dad x'

i wipe a couple tears falling down my cheek as i speak up "i dont think hes coming back again" delilah picks up the note giving it a scan over before dropping it down and wrapping me in a hug. ive gotten a lot of hugs recently. "im sorry y/n" matt says from behind me, i turn my head to him "thanks matt" i sniffle, "im gonna head out, is that okay?" he asks, "of course matt, del ill be back im just gonna have a shower quick" i say walking to my room, matt following behind me as my bathroom is on the way to the front door. i push open the bathroom door to my dad on the floor in a pool of blood. i let a loud scream falling back into matt, who looks confused before he sees what i have. del rushes over to see me on the floor hiding my face in matts chest, "whats?! matt what is it??" del says sitting on her ankles next to us, matt hasn't said anything still in shock but trying to comfort me, delilah turns her head to see the horror i stumbled upon. she doesn't say anything but lifts me up from matt bringing me into the living room, sitting me on the couch by the arm, "stay here y/n itll be okay" she whispers before walking into the hallway. the words in his note repeat in my head 'you wont have to deal with me anymore' 'its not your fault' 'im sorry it had to be this way' again and again in my head, i start to lose my breath, feeling like i cant breath, my vision starts to blur itself, i cant focus on anything but the note and the scene in my bathroom, "y/n? y/n you need to breath" del tries to help, "matt!" she yells. "y/n listen to me you need to focus on breathing can you do that for me?" matt says in a steady voice, "look here copy my breathing" he lifts my hand from my lap, uncurling it from its fist placing my palm on his chest, "you feel that, there you go keep going youre doing so well y/n" he reassures me, after a few seconds my breathing regulates and my vision focuses on matt infront of me, holding my hand against his chest, he lowers my hand into my lap "its okay y/n, youre okay" del says from next to me holding onto my other hand. i struggle for what to say for a minute before whispering "he- he left me" dropping my head, closing my eyes "hes not ever coming back" i shake my head a few tears falling onto my lap. del moves her hand up and down my back "itll be okay y/n i promise".

-

this is rlly old, like i think its the second fanfic ive ever written idk

this bitch has been sat in the drafts for time lmfaoo but i havent posted a fix in a while sooo🤷‍♀️

THANK YOU FOR READING

LOVE U HOES

taglist:

@m0r94n @sturnzsblog @junnniiieee07 @raysmayhem-72 @chrisgetsmewetterxo @sturniolo-slvt @mattspolitank @cerismo @chrispotatos @pvssychicken @ncm9696

[morgana-larkin]

i absolutely love your writing style, its so amazing. and i was wondering if you could do Chessy x reader where reader has autism and works for Elizabeth and gets overwhelmed at an event and Chessy comforts her, could just be fluff or could escalate, its up ro you!

Hi!! I’m happy you love my writing style! ❤️. Here is the fic for your prompt, I loved the prompt and I was wanting a Chessy prompt as I wasn’t getting any. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I have like 4 Melissa fics started and I might finish them all by Monday and just post them all at the same time.

Assistance Needed

Warnings: autistic reader, lot of fluff

Words: 2.27k

“Alright Elizabeth, everything is set for tomorrow’s wedding, just a couple of last minute preparations that will need to be done tomorrow.” You tell Elizabeth outside in the backyard where the wedding will take place.

“Perfect thank you y/n.” Elizabeth tells you before someone takes her attention and she leaves you standing there. You take one last look at the list just to make sure when you hear someone walking up to you.

“Hey hon.” You look up and Chessy there and smile.

“Hey Chess.” You tell her.

“All ready for the wedding?”

“Yep, just tomorrow’s last minute stuff and then it’s all good.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Wow, Elizabeth is lucky to have an assistant like you.” She says and you blush a bit.

“Thank you, but I just make sure things get done.” You tell her.

“You’re so modest, give yourself some credit. You made sure the wedding came together.” She explains to you. “Anyway, are you hungry? I made some lunch and got some extra if you want it.” She offers and you smile at her.

“I would love too.” You say and she smiles before leading you into the house.

You started working for Elizabeth as her assistant about 5 months ago but it was mostly at her shop helping her with things to get the dresses ready for the summer. Ever since Elizabeth and Annie moved in with the Parker’s, the combined their businesses. They held weddings at the vineyard while also serving whatever wine the bride and groom want, and Elizabeth designs, fits, and makes their dress. Lately you’ve been working at the house, getting things ready for the weddings. You met Chessy about 2 months ago when you came to the house for the first time. She instantly took an interest in you and it seems she also likes to be looking after you. She always makes sure she makes extra for lunch when you’re over, when you start to get stressed with the work then she makes you laugh, when you get frustrated with something then she helps work it out with you.

You can’t deny that it feels nice that she looks out for you, and you also can’t deny that you have feelings for her. You try not to feel special that she helps you with things, she’s a nanny, it’s what she does. During lunch she can see that you’re nervous about something.

“Hon, are you okay? You’re quiet, usually you’re talking about something you like.” She tells you and you look up at her and sigh.

“It’s about tomorrow.” You tell her and she quirks an eyebrow at you.

“The wedding?” She asks and you nod. “What’s making you nervous about the wedding?” She asks as she gives you a plate of food.

“Thank you.” You say as you begin eating. “It’s a really big wedding. Like the others were like 50-250 people on the guest list. That’s a normal amount. But tomorrow there’s gonna be 650 people, I don’t do well with a lot of people.” You tell her.

“I think you’ll kill it tomorrow. But if you want then I can be there with you for support.” She offers and you look at her.

“Really? You’d do that for me?” You ask and she nods with a smile.

“Of course.”

“Ok, well if you’re being serious then I would love for you to be there.” You say to her.

“Alright, I’ll be there.” She promises to you and you smile as you continue eating.

The next day you’re slipping on your black dress. It’s still a couple hours until the wedding, enough time to get the last minute preparations done. You stayed at the Parker house last night to make it easier, you usually do when the next day is a wedding or you stayed working late. You bounce downstairs and you go outside to get everything done.

You didn’t notice Chessy watching you from a window for most of the time. You actually never notice her just watching you work. She loves seeing you in your element. She’s watching you with a fond smile on her face.

“Just tell her already.” Nick says with a bit of annoyance. Chessy whips her head around as she didn’t know he was there or even heard him.

“Tell who what?” She asks, although she has an idea of who and what he means.

“Tell y/n you like her. We all see it and we’re wondering when you’re going to tell her.” He says.

“It might be best if I don’t. After all she works for Elizabeth, if it doesn’t work or she rejects me then we’ll still run into each other.”

“Chessy, you’re thinking too much into it. You can’t think about it not working out when you haven’t even started dating. And also she won’t reject you, she feels the same way about you.” He says like it’s obvious and Chessy is looking at him like a deer in headlights.

“She what?” Chessy asks, wanting to know if she heard him right. Nick looks at her in disbelief.

“She likes you too Chessy. Do you really not see it?”

“I thought it was one-sided.” Chessy says and looks at you through the window again. “I offered to be with her at the wedding today, as support due to the amount of people who will be here.”

“Well you have a perfect opportunity then, weddings bring out the romance in people.” He says with a wink and then leaves.

An hour later, Chessy is making lunch when the twins come running in.

“Hey, no running in the house.” Chessy tells them and they immediately stop.

“Sorry Chess, we just smelled food and got excited.” Hallie says and Annie nods in agreement.

“Well lunch is almost ready.” She says and they sit down at the island. Chessy is still thinking about what Nick says when she realises there’s two people there who sees everything and can confirm or deny. “Hey girls, I have a question for you.” She tells them and they both look at her. “You know y/n right?” She starts and they both nod. “Well do you know if, if she might have feelings…for someone?”

“You mean if she has feelings for you?” Annie says and Chessy blushes. Wow, Nick wasn’t kidding when he says everyone knows.

“Yes, do you know if she has feelings for me?” She rephrases.

“Well obviously, she doesn’t exactly hide it.” Hallie says and Chessy lets out a breath she was holding.

“Both of you don’t hide it.” Annie adds.

“Ok, eat your lunch.” Chessy says as she hands them both bowls of chilli.

“Are you going to bring Y/n in to eat too?” Annie says.

“You know since you always seem to have extra when she’s here.” Hallie adds and Chessy’s cheeks become red.

“If she has time then yes.” Chessy stutters out and then Elizabeth comes walking in with you, talking about something.

“Ok so the last thing is for the bride to finish getting ready?” Elizabeth asks you and you check over the list.

“Yep, everything else is done.” You say and Elizabeth takes a deep breath.

“Thank goodness. Oh Chessy you made lunch, do you have enough for y/n to eat some before the wedding?” Elizabeth asks Chessy and both the twins look at Chessy with a smirk.

“Uh ya, there’s more than enough.” Chessy answers and gets a bowl ready for you. “Are you eating too, Elizabeth?”

“In a bit. Just have to do something quickly first.” Elizabeth says and then leaves. The twins finish and leave quickly before you sit down at the island. Chessy makes a bowl for you and gets another one for her. She places one in front of you and sits down beside you.

“Thank you, Chessy.” You tell her with a smile.

“Not a problem, hon.” She says with a matching smile. “You look beautiful btw.”

“Thank you. We have to dress nice and in black.” You tell her.

“I think you always look beautiful.” She blurts out before her brain processes it. You look at her and she notices a small blush on your cheeks.

“Th-thank you. I um- I also think the same about you.” You tell her and she blushes and smiles at you.

“Thanks hon.” You both finish your lunch while chatting with each other until you have to go back to work as guests are arriving.

Chessy got changed while you and other staff started welcoming and entertaining the guests. When she comes out, she can tell right away that you’re starting to get tense from the amount of people you have to welcome and tell them where to go, as well as letting the staff know what to do. Chessy comes to your side and puts an arm around your shoulders and she sees you visibly relax after realising who it is.

“Half the guests are here already and it’s like none of the staff know what to do.” You complain to her and she giggles.

“Well you’re doing amazing, hon. I’m here to support you if you need it.” She says and you smile at her.

“Thanks Chessy.” You say and lean into her.

Half an hour later, Chessy had to go help the twins with something and has to leave you alone for a few minutes. You greeted more guests and had to assist some of the staff on what to do and you were informed that you’re down a few staff members.

“What should we do?”

“There’s not enough of us for everything now.”

“Nothing will get done in time.”

The other staff members are all looking for guidance from you and it’s all becoming too much. You’re looking around for Elizabeth and all you see is too many people and a bunch of staff that are depending on you. You start breathing heavier and feel like you’re trapped.

“I’ll be right back.” You tell them and make a beeline for the house.

Chessy was coming back and was looking for you, she sees you emerge from a group of staff and almost sprint to the house. She follows after you and sees you pacing around the living room in the house.

“Hon, everything alright?” She asks as she sees you stressed. You look up at her and shake your head. She walks over to you and she puts her arms around you in a hug. You immediately hug her back and take a deep breath. “It’s alright, you’re gonna be alright.” She tells you as she strokes your head. You really want to answer her verbally or tell her thank you but you seem to have lost the ability to speak at the moment.

Chessy leads you to one of the couches and you end up cuddling on her on the couch. You take a strand of her hair between your fingers and start twirling it with your fingers. Chessy watches you do it and lets you as it seems to relax you, to be honest she’d let you play with her hair no matter what.

You take a few more deep breaths and are able to speak softly to her. “Thank you.” You say and she rubs your back.

“I’ll always be here to support you and help you through whatever you need.” She tells you genuinely. At that moment you can’t help but lean into her and kiss her. She’s shocked at first but then relaxes into the kiss and kisses you back. You both pull back after a few seconds and you look at her surprised.

“You kissed me back?” You ask confused and she nods. “Why?”

“Because I like you.” She states like it’s obvious and she goes to kiss you again but you stop her by putting a hand on her chest.

“There’s something you should know, I’m- I’m autistic.” You say and she looks at you confused.

“Ok…? And?”

“Well I wanted to let you know in case it changes how you might feel about me.” You tell her and she strokes your cheek.

“Oh hon, it doesn’t change how I feel about you in the slightest.” She says genuinely and you lean into her touch.

“OH MY GOD! I have to go find Elizabeth and tell her about the staff situation.” You say suddenly and bolt out of the house.

Chessy chuckles at your actions and proceeds to follow you out of the house. When she catches up with you, you’re talking to Elizabeth and she goes to handle the situation.

“You know, I think we were in the middle of something.” She says as she reaches you and you turn to look at her with a smile.

“Sorry, we’re experiencing a staff shortage.” You say and she places an arm around your waist. You lean into her body and she kisses the top of your head. You turn to look at her and you move some strands of hair out of her face. “I do like you as well, in case it wasn’t obvious with the kiss.” You tell her and she giggles.

“You’re cute, it was pretty obvious after that but I don’t mind hearing you say it.” She says and you both kiss.

Across the yard the twins and Nick see you both kiss. He proceeds to hand both of them $5 as they guessed she was going to confess to you tonight. “I’m not betting with you guys again.” He says as they both pocket their $5 with a smile.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

@ricejucie

@unicorniusfallapatorius

@a-queen-and-her-throne

@sleep-deprived-athlete

@og-kxsh-420

@sasheemo

Let me know if you want to be added!

[raeedioheadd]

IN RAINBOWS - CHAPTER ONE

summary: mostly filler, introduction chapter to the reader and our beloved boys!

warnings: mentions of drugs earlier on, murder + death at the end

word count: 2.5k

a/n: the school system is based off my own so sorry if its a little confusing !! either way i hope u enjoy reading 🙂‍↕️ lowercase is also intended.

metropolis was horrible in the hotter months. it was only spring, so it wasn't at it worst, but once summer comes around i may have to consider an extended leave to gotham. peeling my eyes open, i ran a hand down my face as i felt around my bed for my phone. my fingers touched the cool screen of the device– at least something was somewhat cold. the screen lit up, the time reading 5:30. i sighed, looking towards my fan and wondering why i wasn't getting any air from it only to see my cat, kiwi, blocking the whole thing. not only was she blocking the fan, but she was picking at the laces of my shoes as well. i stood up and walked towards her, running my fingers through her fur and picking her up. "i need some air too, kitty." i murmured, feeling the rumbles of her purring.

i eventually put her down and went downstairs since i had to feed my dad's dog, buddy. technically i was living alone for the moment. dad was always on a business trip for something somewhere, but it's not like he was distant or anything. he was everything but distant. when he was home, he tried to hover, but he always gave up because i never did anything interesting or tried to hide anything from him. we were close, and that bond strengthened after my mother died. leading up to her death, they argued a lot. he was a person of interest for a bit, but the case was eventually closed since there were no leads. it was frustrating, but i didn't want to try to play hero. we have enough of those already.

buddy was still sleeping by the time i made my way downstairs to feed him. he was a doberman; usually my dad took him on his little business trips, but this time around he kept him home. setting his bowl down, i gently scratched behind his ears before going back upstairs to shower.

i usually took cold showers in the morning to combat the metropolis heat. they worked most of the time, but they got worse around the middle of the day. thank god it was friday. after about an hour in the shower i finally got out before quickly changing and starting my walk to school. since it was my senior year and i had already completed most of my core classes, i decided to take on an early class for the second year in a row and get out much earlier than everyone else. i start school at 7:00 while everyone else starts at 8 in exchange for only taking 4 classes and getting out at 11. since i only have four classes, i was finishing up my third year of science, doubling up on math and getting to eat lunch before leaving. i could just skip lunch if i really wanted to, but it's free food!

i wasn't necessarily the most sociable person unless someone talked to me or approached me first. that being said, i'm not a social recluse either. i have my good chunk of friends- one being closer than most, and that's laila; but that's because she's just stuck around longer. that, and she doesn't know how to do her homework on time. the second i stepped into the school, laila was next to me and matching my pace. sometimes i wondered if she could read minds, but that would mean she'd be a meta. and she was, as rude as it sounds, too gullible to be one. "hey! hey!!" she huffed, waving her hand infront of my face. she called out my name and i finally decided to look over at her, bumping my shoulder against hers. "what? if you ask me for homework help again i'm gonna have to say no. my afternoon is filled with watching twilight and sleeping." i said, giving her a cheeky smile. she grumbled to herself for a moment before letting out a guttural groan. "can't you just stick around for lunch or something and help me? you're smart! that's why you finished your classes earlier than everyone else!" and the exact reason i'm not taking electives. i sighed and shook my head, walking to my class with her.

"that's not how it works," i started, glancing at her for a mere moment, "i finished my classes earlier because i took all of my harder and more important classes freshman year. and if i remember correctly," i paused, giving her a knowing look, "somebody was too high half of the time to remember to actually come to school." i shrugged, causing her to kick me with a surprising amount of force. "shut up! can you just tutor me or not?" she begs, clasping her hands together and turning to face me as we reached my class. letting out my third sigh in the past hour, i caved and said yes. she thanked me at least fifty times before scurrying off to her class before the late bell rang.

my first class was astronomy, which wasn't as interesting as it sounded. if you didn't get it confused with astrology, you knew what you were expecting. i was expecting math, but not this much math. it was tedious, but i had to deal with it. it wasn't terrible, but i didn't necessarily like it either.

the teacher droned on for most of the class period, pacing around the classroom to make sure that nobody was on their phone or sleeping. he called on me a few times, unfortunately. the old geezer managed to catch me off guard a few times with some of the questions, but it was whatever. class had ended before i knew it.

my next two classes were both math classes, sadly. my whole school day seemed to be filled with math other than the singular english class i was taking right before lunch. it was a writing class, so it was bearable enough. i enjoyed writing, actually. though, that was only when i didn't have writers block. that, and the teacher was one of the few teachers who wasn't grumpy and mad at the students because his life was going horribly. he cared for each and every one of his students, though not overbearingly.

my astronomy teacher had a stick up his ass every other day for no reason at all– he cheated on his dying wife and often liked to make fun of her infront of the class. no one laughed. my math teachers, both female (and related) were lighthearted and funny. they made the classroom atmosphere calm and you wouldn't feel embarrassed to get an answer wrong. my english teacher, like i said before, was my favorite. maybe it was because i've had him all four years of highschool, but it seemed i was a mirror of himself when i was his age.

upon walking into the classroom, he greeted me with my name and a smile. "it's nice to see you've finally caught up on sleep. you finish supernatural yet?" he asks, taking a jab at my poor sleep schedule. "no, not yet. and hey, i get more than enough sleep." i huff, setting my bag down and sitting in the second chair by his desk. he'd never admit it, but he put the second chair here for me. he said it was for the students he'd have help grade papers. (aka me.)

"what are we doing today? another essay?" i ask, spinning around slowly. "no, actually," he says, stopping my spinning so he could sit in his own chair, "i've decided to be nice teacher for a bit and let you guys watch a movie. nothing special, just make sure to pay enough attention to write a theme analysis once it's over. it should take up the whole week." he explained, causing me to sigh. "okay, whatever man." i shrug, standing up and moving the chair out of the way. i go to sit in my own seat and play on my phone for the remainder of the class, having already seen the movie.

the bell finally rang, and i watched as the students in my class ran through the door to get to their next destination. some were going to lunch while some were going their next class. i waved goodbye to my teacher and made my way to the library where i saw laila waiting for me. she beamed at me and was quick to wave me over– a bit too happy. sitting down, i gave her a once over before looking around to make sure no one was in earshot. "are you fucking high dude?" i whisper, furrowing my brows at her. she fell into a fit of giggles, leaning her body into my own. her eyes were the slightest shade of red, but it was nothing too noticable.

"i'm not..maybe." she whispered as i pushed her off of me. "drink some water. you still have three more classes after this." i said, grabbing her waterbottle from her bag. she murmured something along the lines of 'okay, mom.' under her breath before begrudgingly downing her whole water. i spent the entirety of lunch babysitting my friend.

the moment the bell rang, i abandoned laila with her boyfriend and was off to my humble abode. since it was only about 11:15, i decided to get my homework out of the way before lounging around with kiwi and buddy. maybe i'd take him on a walk tomorrow, i don't know yet.

------

walking in the door, i was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by kiwi and buddy. kiwi purred as she rubbed herself against my legs, presumably waiting for me to take off my shoes so she could ruin them once more. buddy on the other hand sat patiently as he waited for me to come pet him and tell him he could act like an normal dog. "jeez, buddy. what does dad do to you?" i asked, petting his head gently as kiwi snuck off with one of my shoes. i set my bag down and went to go change before returning to the kitchen and doing my homework. it was only around noon, so i had some time to kill before school got out. i let out a short whistle as i sat on the couch and watched as buddy raced over to me with enough speed to make my school's track team jealous. he was more than happy to sit next to me while i watched whatever piqued my interest at the moment. i ended up finding a movie to watch; it was an older movie, but i didn't mind. it was worth watching.

by the time the movie ended, buddy was restless and ready to take a walk. he let out a mixture between a bark and a whimper, ushering me to get up. "okay, okay," i chuckled, standing up and grabbing his leash and hooking it onto his collar. i slipped on a pair of slides before letting him out and locking the door behind me. i usually wasn't the one to take buddy on walks– that was my dad's job, and i know the dog got plenty when he went on business trips. speaking of my dad, i decided to call him and see what he was doing.

he finally picked up after a few rings, and i could hear his voice call out my name. "what's up, sweetheart?" he asks, messing around with something in the background. "nothing, just wanted to call and see what you were up to." i said, stopping so buddy could use the bathroom. "oh, you know," he paused, grunting as he lifted something, "just work stuff. what'cha doin? i hear birds; you outside?" he questions. "walking buddy. he misses you." i say, nearing the park. "oh, good. well, i've gotta go. i'll be home soon sweetheart, i promise." he promises, bidding me goodbye. i sigh and tuck my phone in my pocket, going into the dog park portion of the, well, human park? unhooking buddy's collar, i watch as the black dog runs off to go roll around in the grass and use up all of his energy. after a bit of me sitting on a bench and scrolling on my phone, a black great dane sauntered in and immediately ran over to me. he began to sniff at me, giving me pleading eyes as if asking me to pet him.

"hey, bud.." i smiled, scratching behind his ears. someone walked up to me and cleared their throat, causing me to look up. it was a boy with olive skin and black hair, with green eyes that tied everything together. "is this your dog?" i ask, offering him a small smile. why does he look so familiar?

"yes." he says, keeping it short. okay, wow? "uh..well, what's his name?" i ask, feeling the dog rest his head on my lap. seemingly begrudgingly, he gives me his name. "titus." he grumbles, his gaze falling on the dogs head in my lap. "it fits." i say, continuing to smile at him. before the conversation can get any more awkward, yet another boy walks over. "hi! sorry about him." he says, shoving the first boy to the side a bit so he could stand infront of me instead. jesus, they were tall.

"i'm sorry about titus, too. he likes to meet new people." the boy says, adjusting his glasses. behind those glasses are vibrant blue eyes that sit against beige skin with a head of fluffy black hair. "oh, it's okay," i say, lifting titus' head as buddy trots over to me so i can stand up, "what's your name?" i ask, wishing to know the name of my savior. "my name is jon! and this," he pauses, pointing a thumb back at his friend. "is damian." he finishes with a smile. "very fitting names." i say, stealing a glance at the raven haired boy behind him. i gave jon my name before putting buddy's leash back on. "it was nice meeting you, but i have to go. he'll fall asleep on the sidewalk if i don't get him home soon." i laugh, rubbing buddy's side as i waved at them. "i hope to see you around! byee!" jon called after me, turning and saying something to damian after i was put of earshot.

as i walked home, i still couldnt help but feel like damian looked and sounded familiar. i brushed it off and let buddy inside first after unlocking the door and went upstairs to change into my pajamas. turning on the tv, i held kiwi in my lap as i brushed her while the news anchor went on and on about a kitchen fire when the breaking news came on. i looked up, feeling kiwi nibble at my hand as i listened to the woman speak.

"it seems after six grueling years, the serial killer  known as the sundown slasher has struck again. known for skinning the faces of their victims, after sundown and earning their namesake, another body has popped up once again.."

i sighed and muted the TV, looking down at kiwi. i hated this. he was part of the reason my dad had cameras in and outside of the house. for a little bit  of my childhood i was sure the sundown slasher had killed my mom. but once the case went cold, i pushed the thought to the back of my head. shutting off my lamp, the TV was the only thing illuminating my room as kiwi and i laid down. i quickly sent a text to my dad before turning on some random cartoon and slowly dozing off.

[grave-z-boy]

arthur morgan x male reader where reader joins the gang and finds comfort in arthur and at one point gets hurt away from camp and arthur finds them and helps them they camp out at night since it was too dark to go back to camp, and reader and arthur drink and reader drunkenly confessed and there’s some kissing? sorry this is long lmfao. i like ur writing!!

Arthur Morgan x male!reader

Summary: in the months since you've joined Dutch’s gang, you befriended Arthur Morgan, when you can't get ahold on your feelings you start avoiding the man like the plague .

Word count: 2,609

Warning: hunting, guns, mentions of skinning a dear, reader sees a dead dear, reader gets shot, alcohol, reader (and Arthur) get drunk, bugs, period typical (internalized) homophobia, Arthur thinks reader is dying, hozier reference

Masterlist

“Mr. Morgan.” You muttered with a tip of your hat.

Arthur has strode up next to you on his horse, finally back from his days long expedition, just when you were getting ready to leave on yours.

You’d joined the gang not too many months back. You’re parents had been outlaws way back when, and friends of Dutch- they were able to get out of that business early on, settle down, only to be pulled back in while doing a little favor for Dutch and the boys. They lost their lives doing the “little favor”. Years later you still try not to think too hard on it.

Being outlaws, the others weren’t all too welcoming to a new, strange man joining the gang, even if Dutch had vouched for you. You didn’t mind, they would have their own opinions of you until they rolled over and died and there wasn’t much you could do about it. You did, somehow, manage to befriend Arthur. Well, “befriend” might be a bit strong, but he was friendly enough with you. Friendly enough for you to- without meaning to- gain a sort of attraction to the man.

You figured you could just shove it down as far as you could, appreciate the little kindness the man did you, and make it enough. It wasn’t, you wanted more from him and you weren’t supposed to. The comfort you felt around the man dried up like an old well and the relationship you were building had come to a standstill. Your interactions have gone from friendly stories around a fire and taking on the town together, to short, stiff nods as you left- or as he left. You made it a point to leave whenever he came back from one of his trips- nearly jumping to your feet and running to your horse when you heard him coming.

“Where ya headed?” He asked, not looking at you, but instead down at the mane of his horse.

“Hunting…”

He hummed, “Want me to come along?”

Yes.

“No, I'll be alright, ‘m only gonna be out there for a couple of hours, and you just got back, you should get some rest.”

With a short sigh, Arthur dismounted his horse. Shooting you one last glance before saying, “Be careful out there, Y/n.”

“Will do, Arthur.”

—————

Your lungs burned as you rested against a thick tree, hunting rifle in hand, you free had clutched the leaking wound on your side. It was just a graze, you could tell without even looking at it, a grave that only oozed blood due to the fact that you took off running the second it happened.

You were maybe 5 feet away from a deer, so close you could grab the damn thing and slit its throat if you wanted to. But you didn’t, not yet, you just wanted to look at it for now. It had been shot before, a shot you were shocked it survived, straight through its stomach, blood dried around the creature's wound. The deer walked with a limp, and let out a pained noise every time it moved. Big, pitch-black eyes stared into yours, and all thoughts of killing the animal left your mind.

Then you heard a gun fire. The deer ran off, and you’d been knocked to the ground. The bullet gets maybe an inch into your skin, and exits a second later. Grabbing your riffle you took off as fast as you could.

Which leads you to where you are now, back at the little camp you’d made for yourself. The hunter- as godawful of a shot he was, was long gone, you watched him leave, the hide of the dear tossed over his horse's back. You wanted to leave, head back to camp and get patched up, and pretend like tonight hadn’t happened, like everything was normal and fine. You pushed yourself up on the tree, the uneven bark chipping and leaving little wood fragments on your hand, using the rapidly drying blood as an adhesive. your side throbbed painfully, the blood leaving a mark on the light colored tree.

With a groan you turned towards your horse, only for her to drop to the ground, letting out a neigh, which you decided was her way of telling you that she wasn't going to let you ride her covered in blood- or that she was tired.

“You ass.” You muttered.

She seemingly sunk deeper into herself, getting comfortable.

Dropping back down to the floor and resting your head against the tree with a groan.

It took you longer than ever to collect dry wood for a fire. Bending down felt like hell and you considered for a moment just letting the elements take you. You pulled yourself together eventually, starting a fire, eating some dried meat, using your bag as a pillow you tried to get some sleep. You wouldn’t usually leave a wound unattended but you had no supplies, no alcohol, no clean water, and no bandages. You figured you'd deal with the consequences of your frantic packing later. For now, you just wanted to rest.

Your fire had died down, just barely lit. But the cold wasn't what woke you. The familiar sound of a horse galloping against the dirt, growing closer by the second, caused you to jump out of your sleep. You groaned, pushing yourself up in an attempt to move out of the way, the throbbing in your side had turned to a seating pain, and you hissed as you tried to drag yourself away, finding yourself back against the same tree as before.

The tiny clearing quickly became overwhelming as another rider approached. You could hardly see them it was so dark, your fire from before now a pile of smoke. You heard them drop off their horse, footsteps, slow and even, making their way toward you. You tried to use the tree as leverage, trying to push yourself up, be at least a little less pathetic. Your breathing was pained and labored, and with little regard- for yourself, you stood. The man finally stepped close enough for you to make out his features in the dark, standing less than 4 feet in front of you was Arthur.

“Y/n..” he breathed out.

Relief flooded your body as Arthur looked over you, his hands firmly set on your shoulders.

“Arthur, what are you doing out here?” you asked, more awake now, but still pained.

“Saving your ass, apparently.”

“‘M fine.”

You leaned back against the tree, the pain from your wound becoming far too noticeable for your liking. You pressed your hand to it without thinking, blood once again spewing from the wound.

“You’re hurt?”

“It’s nothing..”

He grabbed your hand, snatching it away from your wound, covered in blood and dirt, he looked at it, then looked back up at you. The blood soaking through your clothes and making them stick to your skin.

“I got shot..” you muttered, snatching your and away.

Arthur gave you a look, a look that had a few strong words associated with it, but he saved them for later. Lifting your shirt, glaring up at you, seeing just how unattended the wound was.

“So you were just gonna stay out here and bleed to death?”

“It’s not that bad..”

“Could’ve been-“

“But it isn’t-“

“I told you to be careful-“

“I didn’t get shot on purpose-“

“You didn’t come back to camp on purpose-“

“My damn horse wouldn’t-“

“Well you should’ve woke it’s ass up-“

A particularly painful throb ended your argument with Arthur, clutching your side, you pushing him away with your free hand. You kneeled down, deciding to collect more wood to rebuild the fire and show Arthur that you were fine. As you gathered sticks in your hand you heard Arthur kneel beside you, you didn't look at him, your hands shook but you still tried to gather the sticks in front of you. Your irritation grew immensely, only to be snuffed out when you felt one of Arthurs's hands cover yours.

“Let me handle this..”

You wanted to argue, but you didn’t, your hands were shaking and the wound was only becoming more irritated. Resisting the urge to throw the sticks down and stomp off like a child, you let him take them from your hands, then, with one hand on your chest, he guided you down.

You glared up at him, but he only looked at you with worry. He held your eyes in his for a second before going to check the wound. Moving your coat and lifting your bloodied shirt, he let out a long sigh, glaring up at you for a moment, then back down at the wound.

You so desperately wanted to be mad at him, but as his finger caressed the tender skin around your wound, you couldn’t keep up the act. Your body relaxed, as did your mind.

“Wait here..” he said, you didn’t argue.

Laid on your back, staring up at the trees, and the beautiful clear sky, you listened to Arthur shuffle around the little camp. A few minutes later, a fire was started, and even from here, you could feel its warmth.

He came back to you with his hands full of supplies, bandages, a cloth, and a flask. You could finally see him fully, the warm light of the fire casting a dim light on the side of his face.

“Let me look at ya’” he said quietly.

After a moment of examining you under the light, he reached for the flask.

“This is gonna sting..”

He was right, it did, you choked on a breath as he poured a generous amount of alcohol onto the open wound. Your hand reached for his coat sleeve, gripping it tightly as he dried the wound with the cloth. You were patched up a couple of seconds later, the bandage pulled tight around your abdomen.

Arthur helped you sit up, your wound, cleaned and pampered, stung considerably less. Then, with one of Arthur’s hands on your back, and the other resting on your unwounded side, you felt warm. Your face flushed and in your mind, you blamed it on the fire. You stayed like that for a moment, letting him touch you no matter how little and amicable they might have been. The moment didn’t last, he moved away, reaching for the flask from before and unscrewing the cap. He offered it to you first, and you shook your head no. He didn't say anything, just taking a quick drink and setting it on the ground between the two of you.

You didn't mean to, but you couldn't help but think of how pretty he was in the firelight. So peaceful, relieved- you looked away, glaring into the fire. You reached down for the flask, took a quick drink then set it back down, just as he had.

Minutes passed, you took turns drinking. He drank when he wanted to, you drank when your thoughts got away from you. Every time you thought about it just being you and him out here, about how nobody ever had to know, how you could just leave and it could just be you and him, forever. About his laugh, his smile, the little sigh he let out every time he took a drink- you drank again, and again, and again. Until finally Arthur snatched the flask from you.

“That's enough..”

You groaned, “Not really.”

You could feel the heat radiating off your body, your head was spinning, and no matter how hard you tried, your train of thought never strayed from Arthur.

Silence passed between the two of you, the sounds of bugs clicking and other little creatures crawling played dully in your ears. Tapping your foot in the dirt, you watched the ants crawl, watching the majority of them line up, only for two to break off, form their own line, a line of two. Marching around. You let out a little laugh.

Then, suddenly.

“Are you dying?”

You turned to Arthur, face scrunched in confusion.

“… What?”

“You’re dying..” he mumbled.

“I ain’t dying, Morgan.”

He sighed, dropping himself down into the dirt.

“Then what’s wrong with ya’?”

You laughed, “I got shot.”

“No, no, no- before that, whenever I’m at camp you-you run off like I’ve got the damn plague! You’re never there anymore, at least not when I’m around. I know you’re not getting on with the rest of the gang, but I don’t understand why you’re running from me.”

Flopping down in the dirt next to him, you sighed.

“I’m not dying, Arthur, I swear..”

His voice was slurred, and he fumbled as he tried to screw the cap back on his flask.

“Then I’m sorry, for whatever I did that hurt you- I didn’t mean to I swear I just-“

“You didn’t do anything..” you turned over to your uninjured side, “..something ain’t right with me. I think things I'm not supposed to and feel things I shouldn't, and it's…harder to stop when I'm around you.”

You didn't meet his eyes, focusing squarely on the ground even though it made your head spin.

“Y/n..” he said, quietly.

You pushed yourself up faster than you should have, regret forming in your chest, pulling at your heart.

“Forget it…”

“Wait.” he sat up, vertigo claiming him for a short second before he continued. “Wait, please.”

He grabbed ahold of your wrist as you stood unsteady on your own feet, lifting himself off the ground, just as wobbly as you are.

When he asked you to wait, you did, as he searched for the right words, your mind raced thinking of what they could possibly be. And when he said nothing, just stared at you with those sad blue eyes, the alcohol flowing through your blood took over.

“I love you, Arthur, and I'm trying not to. I really am, but you just-” your rant, however guilt ride it was, was cut short.

Grabbing you tight and pulling you so close that you could feel his breath on you. Then, he kissed you, slow and gentle. Your eyes fluttered shut, you could feel his hands move from your shoulders to the small of your back, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You didn't pull away, not until Arthur did, he stared at you, his eyes searching your face for a long moment, then, when you finally let a smile find its way onto your face, he kissed you again.

The kiss, even though it was uncoordinated and desperate, was everything you wanted. So much guilty, and shame, just for this. Your grip on the back of his coat tightened, he pulled you closer.

You would have stayed like that forever if a sudden wave of vertigo hadn't nearly made your knees buckle, your already unsteady stance faltered, you stumbled back, then forward into Arthur. And he laughed, watching you try and hold your fleeting balance, entirely unhelpful.

“Shut up, Arthur-” you laughed, lightheaded and in pain.

But he kept laughing. Holding onto him by the collar of his jacket you pulled him in for another kiss, he stopped laughing, he smiled though, like he was the happiest man in the world, so you kissed him again, and you kept on kissing him until it was true.

The night ended with you in a drunk heap with Arthur, arms, and legs intertwined, giggling and babbling as you drifted off to sleep.

The forest didn’t seem too harsh that night, despite the bug and the dirt, and the distant howling of wolves.

[not-goldy]

Goldy wake up, new jikook picture dropped again and this time karma said hey bitches. There Jimin is in the middle with his arm wrapped around Jk on one side fully leaning into Jimin and Jimin's other arm around another soldier on the other side. This one made me feel a bit happier just cause they look so much more content and relaxed. Both of them do. When things like this happen, I get happy for Jikook because its always them proving their haters wrong, without even trying.

I'd also like to take the time to say JK solos are becoming the biggest laughing stock next to Tkk. Their homophobic theories didn't pan out this time with soldier #55 they are hyping as JK's wing man, since he's no where near Jikook in that picture & Tkk thinking TK coordinated wearing masks at the same, when there Jikook this time, both wearing masks together. Just like they have in every other picture so far except. Stop embarrassing this fandom, geeze.

I know its still a soon since its been 5 weeks, but once Jikook are deployed to their unit together permanently, to serve their 18 months & Tkk & Jk solos realize Jikook are still gonna be buddies, doing everything and still sharing their buddy bed, hoping they are gonna get tired and move on. Some said they were gonna leave if JK doesn't & they can't defend Tk anymore. Lets pray they keep their word. Some left after Paris. Maybe the ones who didn't will grow up over the next 18 months. You don't have to leave, just change your mindset, work on becoming a good person & stop living in denial. It isn't hard. Tae doing his own thing, not giving a fuck about what Jikook are doing, but they can't stop dragging Tae into Jikook's business. Oh & Tkk using Tae's military picture as their PFP, but wanna cry privacy everytime one of JK comes out. You aren't fooling us.

Shit. Jx a sec

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh JIKOOOOOKK!!!

Brilliant Just Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jimin is my spirit animal!!!!

The pettiness

The come back

The sikes

The karma

The last laugh

Talking bout Jk is making friends, well Jimin is "making friends" too what's up!!!!!!

It's giving Jungkook is mine and I have friends bitch

[rayhalloffame]

Prompt 25 angsty with Art Donaldson please pretty pleaseee😩🛐

This one got away from me a little bit haha I hope you enjoy!! Requests are open, feel free to deviate from the prompt list if you’d like!

F!reader x Stanford!Art Donaldson

25. “It hurts...” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you...”

What’s frustrating is that it’s not the first time you’ve had this conversation. You’ve tried to make him understand how his behavior is perceived, how it makes you feel. He always tells you you’re thinking about it too much, if he didn’t love you he wouldn’t be with you. It’s hard not to believe him when in the next moment he’s reaching for you to pull you into his lap and pepper your face with kisses until you’re a giggling mess.

That’s why when he asks if he could spend the night after practice, you were happy to have him. Between your class schedule and his tennis schedule, making time for each other was hard, but always worth it. Your only request was that he come over no later than 10pm because you had a big exam the next day.

You must’ve fallen asleep in bed while studying and waiting for Art, because you’re startled awake by the obnoxious ringtone Art had set for himself. You reach for the phone, grateful your roommate is away for the night so you’re not disturbing anyone. When the clock flashes the time at you, it reads 11:47pm. You bring the phone to your ear and say nothing, annoyed.

“Baby?” Art whispers. “Are you still awake?”

You consider feigning asleep. Maybe he’ll think you answered the phone just to get the ringing to stop. But you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t want to see him. You hadn’t spent a proper night together in over 2 weeks, just FaceTimes and lunches wherever you could fit them. You stifle a yawn and pull yourself to a seated position, quietly ask him where he is.

He sounds happy to hear you, tells you that he’s walking to you now and is about 5 minutes away. You let him ramble while you flick your light on and close the books scattered on your bed. By the time he reaches your door your bed is clear and you’ve spritzed it with your perfume for good measure.

He’s leaning against the doorframe when you pull it open, looking apologetic. “Sorry I’m late,” he offers sweetly, reaches his hand out to drag his knuckle down your cheek. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” You hum in acknowledgment, still annoyed but stepping aside to let him in.

He drops his tennis gear and book bag at your desk, slips off his slides, then turns so he can sit on the edge of the wooden furniture. His legs are spread just enough for you to slip between them when he reaches for you. “Gonna give me a kiss or what?” he asks.

You roll your eyes but can never deny him. As you’re leaning in you pluck his red Stanford hat from his head briefly so you can flip it backwards and avoid getting hit in the face by its brim. The kiss is soft and slow, your arms draped over his shoulders. He has a guiding hand on your jaw, the other holding you close by the waist. He hums into your mouth. You’re suddenly more awake when you pull away, suggest taking a shower together in your Jack-and-Jill bathroom before going to sleep.

“Sorry, baby,” he says, thumb stroking your cheek where his hand still rests. “Me and Tashi showered at the athletic center after our session before getting dinner. I didn’t get to wash my hair though, so how about we rain check for a longer shower in the morning?” Oblivious, he pulls you back to him in offer of an apologetic kiss but you turn your head into his hand. His lips press against the corner of your mouth.

You feel sick, drawing away from him, taking 2 steps back. “You and Tashi did what?”

He’s laughing now, holding his hands up. “No, no! We were in different locker rooms.”

“No, Art. You and Tashi went to dinner, when you’ve been with her everyday for the last month. I was so excited you could fit me into your busy schedule and you couldn’t even get here when I asked.” You cross your arms over your chest. You feel your heart speeding up behind your ribs.

“Don’t be like that,” he groans. “We train together and wanted something to eat after.” He waits for your response, and when one doesn’t come, he continues. “I am sorry for being late, though. I lost track of the time.”

Your eyes sting. You can tell they’re watering. You nod your head stiffly, just once. “You know, that really hurts.”

“What?” he asks. He stands to reach for you, spurred into action by the tears swimming in your eyes.

“Loving someone who doesn’t love you. You’re in love with her, Art, not me.” A tear betrays you, slips down your cheek. Before you can angrily swipe it away Art is there, as gentle with you as he’s ever been.

“Don’t do this,” he says. “You’re my girl, of course I love you. And I miss you, you know? Let’s have a good night together.” His tone is pleading.

Never one to deny him, you nod, sniffling. You don’t have the fight in you that you did the handful of other times you’ve had this talk. So you let him tilt your head up to press your lips together, let him pull you into a tight hug where he rests his cheek against the top of your head and rubs his big hand up and down your back.

He’s stripping down to his boxers in the next minute and pulling his Stanford hoodie over your head. He tells you you’re beautiful, squeezes your cheeks together cutely. When you get into your twin xl bed he pulls you tight against his body. You hike a leg over his hip, relish in the feel of his fingers stroking up and down your thigh.

It’s not often you can tell when something is going to be the last time. But in this moment you know. This will be the last time Art Donaldson holds you to sleep, the last time you trace patterns on his chest. You savor his touch and will yourself not to cry, tuck your head into the crevice of his neck and try to memorize his scent. You try not to think too much about how he put on cologne to go to dinner with her.

[rodanhoax]

Jaune: You know, you guys didn’t have to bring me along on your honeymoon. 

Nora: Aw, it was no issue Jaune. Right Ren? *Holds onto Rens arm*

Ren: Of course. Afterall, it was the least we could do after forgetting your birthday.

Jaune: It wasn’t that bad. Besides, you guys were busy preparing for your wedding, so it wasn’t your faults you forgot.

Nora: Either way, we thought you could enjoy the sights while we did some... newlywed activities. *Giggles like a child, still excited from their recent union*

Jaune: *Chuckles at Nora as he sets down their bags* Well, I guess all I can say is thanks. I’m gonna go grab the last of the luggage. You two just kick back and relax, alright?

Ren: Much appreciated Jaune. *Nods as he and his wife hold one another close, about to close in for a kiss*

Jaune: *Before leaving, he remembers something and pulls out an odd envelope from his pocket* Oh yeah, Ren, I almost forgot, this came in the mail before we left.

Ren: *Raises an eyebrow as he takes the envelope, opening its contents right as Jaune leaves the room*

Nora: Ooh~ That must be our marriage license.

Ren: Nora, this isn’t a marriage license. It’s a... restraining order?

Nora: *Shocked* Oh nuts! I was in such a rush I just grabbed the first form I saw and filled us both in.

Ren: It says we can’t be within... 25 yards of one another.

Nora: But 25 backyards is like... A lot! We got to get this fixed right away!

Ren: Nora, we need to file this to court if we wanna cancel it. And that may take a few days.

Nora: But... Our honeymoon. If we leave, we can’t enjoy it here. We’ve been looking forward to this for months.

Ren: I’m sorry, but unless we wanna risk breaking the law... again, there’s not really any other option.

Nora: No! I refuse! There’s gotta be something we can do to at least enjoy our honeymoon here, without getting in trouble, and until we can get this restraining order sorted out.

Jaune: *Kicks door open before coming in the rest of the luggage* Whew! Got the rest of the luggage guys! Anything else you two need before I head out?

Nora: ...

Ren: ...

RN: *Nod at one another*

Nora: Oh Jauney~ Do you think you could do us a big, BIG, favor?

Jaune: 🤨 ?

(Morning)

Nora: *Eating a nice stack of  chocolate chip pancakes*

Jaune: *Pops in with a bouquet of pink lotus flowers*

Nora: *Smiles as she takes them, waving outside the window to Ren, whom is currently doing some yoga*

(Afternoon)

Ren: *Driving a jet ski through ocean*

Nora: *Laughs joyously as her and Jaune water ski, her sitting atop his shoulders*

Jaune: *In absolute agony, trying his best to keep his balance, hold up Nora, and not vomit from the speed they were going*

(Evening)

Ren: *Ballroom dances with Jaune before releasing him with a spin*

Jaune: *Miraculously maintains his spin as he elegantly makes his way to Nora*

Nora: *Catches him before dropping him down onto the floor in an attempt to dip him*

(Night)

We see Jaune in bed with someone, sweat dripping down his body as he thrusts wildly into them from above. The creaking sound of the bedframe could be heard 5 rooms over, the frame threatening to fall apart with each thrust, as well as the feminine wails of pleasure from his partner. This stops, as with one last push, the two let out loud sensual moan as they climax together, Jaune grinding himself as deep as he could as he filled them to the brim. Sliding himself out, Jaune moves over to the side of the bed, catching his breath before grabbing and pulling up his pants.

Jaune: So... Like that?

Ren: *Pants in exhaustion as he sits himself up* Yes... Just like that. Nora will love it. So don’t keep her waiting.

Jaune: *Sighs* Hope my aura’s ready this. *Stands up and cracks his back before rushing off to go break out Nora’s*

Ren could hear his footsteps as Jaune made his way over to the guestroom, where Nora had been patiently waiting. The rooms here had such thin walls, he wouldn’t be surprised if Nora had heard every bit of him and Jaunes passionate fornication. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if that only aroused her more.

Nora: Took ya long enough! Now come to mama fearless leader~ 

Ren lets out a small smile as he hears Jaune and Nora quickly begin their own bout of sexual intercourse, sounding just as wild and passionate as his own, if not more so. A yawn escaping his mouth, Ren decides it’s time to get some shut eye, excited to see what the next day brought them. Afterall...

That was just the first day of their honeymoon.

(2 Weeks Later)

RWBY: *Waiting by the bullheads to greet the newlyweds once they returned*

Ruby: *Eye widened as her friends came into view* Hey, there they are!

Yang: It’s about time. *Squints her eyes in confusion* Wait, why are those two standing so far apart from one another?

Blake: *Shrugs* Beats me. Looks like they enjoyed their time though.

Yang: *Smirks* How much you wanna bet it’s because they spent most of it breaking in their bed?

Weiss: Do you have to make everything so vulgar Yang?

Yang: Jeez Weissy, it’s just a joke. No need to be such a pru... Is Vomit Boy ok?

Blake: He looks like he’s been drained of every ounce of vitality he had.

Ruby: You think Ren and Nora had him do a lot of work for them?

Before they could continue, they watch as Jaune collapses onto the ground. The team quickly rushes over to their friend, wondering if he was alright. They come across Ren and Nora, having not moved to check on their leader for some reason, instead lower their heads in grief for their fallen teammate.

Ren: He was a good man.

Nora: *A tear fall down her cheek* And virile lover.

Ren: ... Yes.

RWBY: *Looks at the two in confusion, no clue as to what was even happening... that is until one of them happened to remember something*

Yang: ... Wait. Does this have something to do with joke restraining order I sent you?

[memberment]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

So the Trinitarians brain worm is back and Morning Glory is now longer and biting the dust as far as my focus goes.

But like, I genuinely want to talk to anyone who's invested in what's to come as far as part two goes. SO PLEASE. I IMPLORE THE FOUR OF YOU WHO PERPETUALLY TAKE NOTICE OF MY SCREAMS INTO THE VOID.

We're all aware that Trin is a time loop fic. That is confirmed.

BUT THE PROBLEM IS HOW I'M GOING ABOUT DOING THAT. AND I NEED INPUT FROM PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT ME AS FAR AS PLEASES AND SPARKLES GO, YES?

Because like sure I'm writing it and like fuck everything else, let me tell my story. But it's the how of it all like if I'm gonna throw another 200 give or take hours into this I would at least like one person to be having a wonderful time drinking and driving (I have since remembered this is not a common phrase, I do not mean this in a literal sense, it's an expression) with me right?

Part two is going to be 50 chapters, give or take. (Part one is about 37 for reference.)

So the plan for part 2 rn is (ROGUHLY):

(1-10) is the second timeline. There are a lot of importants and I cannot just glaze over it all more than that. But we're also working in a bit of a shorter time period than the original events of the story and introductions do not need to happen again, right?

(11-40)ish would be me running through the next timelines in a set up structure -> what changes -> the results of said changes and then inevitably what sends our looper backwards. It wouldn't be running through all the timelines but the more notable ones in kind of a four chapter structure, I am not fully sold on four, but rough estimate yk.

And then 41-50 would be the finale of part two. It's literally the last timeline in its glory and then the epilogue which kicks off part three.

COULD AT LEAST ONE OF Y'ALL SIT THROUGH THAT OR DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY NOTES AT ALL BECAUSE LIKE

I personally kinda like it but if not a soul is reading this I am throwing myself on the curb with the rest of the garbage LMFAOOO.

I NEED THOUGHTS. OPINIONS. COMMENTS. CONCERNS. ANYTHING.

Anyways, I'm going to work. I have off tomorrow and I broke the ff investment seal for today so insanity and updates will be here tonight and homework will be tomorrow.

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD DAY <3

(9:30) I am literally falling asleep as I lazily write this angel based on Danse Macabre. Expect all of maybe one more update tonight if the tacos I am abt to receive don't wake me up LMFAO.

Also, I am almost saddened by not having something to post tm. Anyone want an early chapter of something that isn't Genesis/Desolation bc they're both on Monday?????? (I am feeling like a menace rn)

(10:19) tacos and the absolute yap session I just had did wake me up a bit. MAAAYBE might write some more. Idk I slept like three hours last night and went to work I'm kinda dead. But we're at 98.2k!!!!!!🥳

(11:06) okay we made it to 99.6k everything besides the flashback for 31 is done. I'm about to relax and watch something and figure out mechanics of some of this because god this series is A BEAST. Like, I still have six planned chapters left.

Pure insanity. I love it here. I hate it here.

Holy shit wait I just came to the realization that I started this fic exactly one month ago. I have belted out 99.6k for THIS FIC ALONE. (Moreso if we're including future shit that hasn't happened yet)

IN ONE MONTH.

THAT IS FUCKING CRAZY WHAT HTE FUCK LMFAOOOO

I may or may not be cooking we’ll find out in 6-26 business hours

(5:28) So I just had a very interesting past few business hours. I read a fic I've been waiting ever so patiently to finish. That's cool, right. I go for a walk at 4 in the morning because I'm insane. Fantastic. I get home at five and I'm like ohhhh well what do I do now it's not sleep time yet. Oh write I'm supposed to be drawing.

Nope I reread the epilogue of morning glory and realized Tweek's first address is for my morning glory and Craig's last sign off is your morning glory and now I'm ready to throw myself on the curb with the garbage as I sob. Someone call a trusted adult for me thanks.

[thecynthh]

smart ass - M.S pt 4

synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to help him 

notes - NOT PROOF READ, matty being a lil cutie pie bf but not actually bf, mentions of vomit and drinking

a/n - alright yalls this one took kinda like rlly long cus i was sleeping late and never got the energy i needed to write but we back now and thriving :)

------------------------------------------------------------

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1 month before the study session 

matt’s pov

lights blare above my spot on the couch, chris is busy talking to other influencers beside me as i sip my red solo cup full of root beer trying to enjoy myself. i worry about madi and y/n they’ve done shot after shot and danced with many people, i know nick is still with them, i think, and i know they are in good hands but two drunk girls alone at an influencer party is a disaster. 

i see y/n saunter over here in her strapless dress wedging herself between chris and i. i thought y/n was very pretty, we met only yesterday when madi brought her along with us on a mcdonald’s run last night. she sloshes her drink around in her cup looking at me up and down, her eyes glossy and her makeup slowly losing its sharpness. “i think…’ she starts, “i think you look very pretty matty.” 

her hand comes up to trace my jaw and cheek bone, i sit there froze, lost in the moment with her. music seems lowered and the bass isn’t ringing in my ear anymore, “and i really like your hair, and your eyes” she slurs. “i wish, i wish i could be as pretty as you,” she begins to feel her much less defined jaw looking down with a sad expression that hangs on her face. 

“hey,” i say, picking up her chin, “trust me y/n, you are stunning,” her eyes have a clear film over them and her tears brim at the bottom of her eyelids. i can tell she was most likely on the verge of crying, i drop my hands to collect her cup and put it down on the coffee table in front of us. “hey pretty girl, you ready to go home?” she nods while i stand up and pull her up as well. 

i tap chris’ shoulder, getting his attention. “yo, we’re leaving in a bit, just gonna go round up the rest of them with y/n. just meet us at the front door in maybe 5 minutes,” ;he nods in agreement and continues to talk to the group of people around him. i drag y/n back to the place where she came from and lead her into a hall where the noise is definitely quieted down so i can ask her a question. “okay where did madi go?” i turn around to ask her. 

“i think she went to the bathroom…?” y/n says, “i think its in this hall we should check.” i give her a small mhm acknowledging what she said. i try to pull her along but she stands still near the wall of the hallway i lead us into. 

“come on y/n, lets go find madi.” i tug on her hand a little more, before giving up and walking to her, “kay, whats up y/n?” i ask her in a soft tone as to not upset her more than she already was. 

she says nothing but pulls my neck down connecting our lips. i just enjoy myself in the moment knowing that in the morning, after the party ends, she won’t remember this, but i will. the kiss gets heated as i slip my tongue into her mouth and explore her every inch but having to pull away soon after realizing what i was doing. “mattyyyyy” she whines in my ear.

“you’re drunk and won’t remember this in the morning, i’ll kiss you when you remember it.” i say holding her chin, her puffy cheeks bunch up at her cheek bones while she looks at me with a pout. 

i take her hand again and begin to knock on each of the doors, the first 2 on the left are either locked or no one is answering, finally moving to the right i knock on the door and call out “madi? you in there?” i hear the lock click and out comes an intoxicated madi tumbling out the door. i let go of y/n’s hand to catch madi as she trips over her own two feet attempting to get out of the room. 

i prop madi back up and take both of them by the hand and drag both of them to a talkative nick near the kitchen table. making my way to him being sure not to hurt any of the girls. “nick a little help?” i say waving madi’s hand in the air for nick to take her instead, he quickly says his goodbyes and grabs madi from me. y/n begins to rest her head against my shoulder and close her eyes, “okay sleepyhead, let's go home now.” i pick her up bridal style and resting her head against my chest as we head for the front door. 

chris pushes himself off the wall and joins us as he opens the door and lets nick and i exit first with the girls. “yeash, seeing them makes me so glad we’re sober.” 

“alright, that’s enough out of you” nick says, shushing our brother. i lay y/n into the back of my minivan, i put her down very carefully scared she’ll break with any certain move. i enter the front of the car and start the ignition. 

 “so what are we gonna do with them?” i say turning towards the back seat seeing nick sitting in the middle of the two girls with both of them resting their heads on nick. 

“hm i don’t know, my real question is if we drop them off at home, are they going to be alright?” nick answers. 

madi pokes nicks arm, “i don’t wanna go homeeeeee,” she whines from her seat. “just take us to your house, we’ll be fineee. right y/n?”

“is that okay with you guys?” her voice is laced with sleepy tones and drunken words but still caring about me and my brothers. 

“of course y/n, we're friends now, yeah?” nick says lifting the shoulder her head was resting on. 

“mhmmm. thank you for this.” she says quietly. 

i reach over to tuck her hair behind her ear, “anytime,” i say just as quietly. 

i face the front of the car and start to back out, beginning a short car ride. chris still takes the aux and plays a few songs as i drive us back to me and my brother's house. 

we make it to the house with barely 10 minutes of driving. i park the car in the garage and swing the back door open after i exit the car. i slowly lift y/n’s head off of nick and carry her to the door, chris already speeding up reaching the door before to unlock it and open the door for nick and i. 

nick holds madi up while her arm is over his shoulders for support while he looks over to me to tell me “i’ll keep madi in my room and make sure she’s alright.”

chris nods, i speak up and say, “i can put y/n in the guest bedroom and keep an eye on her.” 

“alright sounds good, night guys.” chris says waving to nick and i while retreating to his room downstairs. 

nick goes upstairs with madi and i walk down the hallway where my room and the guest room is. opening the door to the guest room, i go to sit y/n down on the bed while i go into the bathroom connected to the room to grab a washcloth. as i have the washcloth running underneath some warm water, i look through the drawers for cotton pads and the make up remover i bought for this room. 

nick made it my job to keep this room stocked with any supplies any person could need while they stay over at our house ranging from female products to extra hygiene products to extra towels and clothes. I'm glad he thought about this because now it comes in handy for this situation and it’s just very kind for other people wanting to stay over. 

i lay all the supplies down on the counter and walk out to go to my room and collect a shirt from my drawers to just make it easier for me while im taking care of y/n. I sling it over my shoulder and go back to y/n. 

i pick her up and walk her over to sit her down on the counter before taking off her heels and looking at her. her mascara was running down her face and her lipstick was smudged from her kissing me. after looking at her for a second her mouth opens, “hey matty? i don’t feel so good.” she pulls her hand up to cover mouth, i get the message and take her off the counter and put her on the floor near the toilet. 

gathering her hair she spills her guts out, “it’s okay sweetheart let it out.” i wasn’t that unfamiliar with being this intoxicated, although my brothers and i are sober and intend to stay sober, we’ve been around a few of our friends when they were in this state and helped them. she seems spent after puking out most of the alcohol she drank that night. 

“oh my god i’m so sorry matt,” she says while looking up at me. i help her up from the floor pulling out the tall stool that stood in the corner of the room and sat her down in it in front of the sink. i reach down into the drawer to grab a spare toothbrush and small travel sized toothpaste for her to brush her teeth with while i clean up. she gets the message when i hand her the two items, i then close the toilet seat and flush it blocking the smell from escaping. 

after she finished brushing her teeth i dab a bit of the make up remover onto the cotton pad and gently wipe the stained and smudged make up from her face. a tear escaped from her right eye while i was wiping down her forehead. “hey don’t worry about this at all, it happens,” i kiss it away reassuring her. 

i throw away the two cotton pads i’ve used into the trash and grab the washcloth, rewetting it. i wipe down her neck and rest of what’s exposed of her body with the cloth being careful on her soft skin. 

“hey i have a shirt here for you, can you change into it alone?” i ask keeping my voice soft underneath the soft hum of the exhaust in the bathroom. 

“i don’t think i can stand without falling down, let alone change clothes,” she says with a slight chuckle leaving her lips. 

i mimic her same laugh, “alright then,” i lift a small bit of the hem of her dress, not revealing anything yet. “can i take this off?” she replies with a small nod as i continue to lift up on the dress moving it up and over her head leaving her in her bra and panties. I didn't think much of her knowing that if i did i’d have to take care of something else tonight. 

i unravel the shirt from my shoulder and slipped it onto her. It was a little big for her, perfect for sleeping in. picking her up again from the tall stool i drop her off on the bed again underneath the covers pulling them up over her. wandering into my room i grab a small bottle of tylenol and a new water bottle from the crate in my room and drop them off on her nightstand as well as her phone, plugging it into the charger and resting it on the side table. 

“okay goodnight y/n,” i said, kissing her forehead, her arms sneaking up to go around my neck and she pulled me into a hug. 

“thank you matty,” she whispered before drifting off into a light sleep. i leave her room and close the door behind me.

[pumpkinsy0]

its haitian heritage month so now i HAVE to drop haitian shepard hcs every day especially the first day so bere we go🙄🙄

•ok so tanbou is the national instrument for haiti and i wholeheartedly feel like the shepards just,,,have one,,,chillin in their living room

•sometimes they fuck around w it, and by they i mean curly, just to fuck around w it he likes banging on things

•they absolutely love chiritos like omg they just have a big bin of them

•angela typically wears her headwrap at home, she wants her hair to breath but she also doesnt want it in the way, its something that followed her from her move from haiti🙏🏽🙏🏽

•literally the ONLY thing curly is ever allowed to touch while someone is cooking is the pilon (this thing used to crush up spices)

•angela gets too tired too fast trying to use it and tim is always busy trynna do somethin else, curly got that strength and rage to keep crushin those spices✊🏽✊🏽

•they literally love diri ak kalalou, mostly for the rice and sauce bc they arent PUSSIES who only eat the MEAT

•actually maybe they r pussies, angela and curly hate beans and so many haitian foods have beans in them so they take like 5 mins picking the beans out

•theyre all rum and raisin ice cream luvrs i wont apologize for this its so good man

•if there’s one thing spoiled haitian girls are always gonna be called, it’s fonfon, angela’s nickname right behind angel is fonfon (u pronouns it fah-fon, the on is said like the word on)

•keeping up this ‘them living in haiti’ hcs but listen to me,,,they’d live in one of those creole style houses in cap-haïtien or at least generally in one of those old houses in cap-haïtien bc those houses have my heart actually

•theres this thing called peinture à l’eau (in french) or peinti kò/peinti in kreyòl and its basically where u paint ur body for kanaval or rlly any celebriation, and thats what its always used for BUT sometimes ppl use it as just casual self expression and i think angela would do that and just, force curly and tim to do the same

•when sylvia comes over they just paint each other and dally comes up cause its time to go hes just like “what???happened here???” and sylvias like “dw bout it”

•sylvia loves cola lacaye and pat n to ice cream, the shepards have a few tubs of it and she just steals it like they wont fucking notice🤨🤨

•dally loves it too so he just lets her lol

•theres this game in haiti where everyone is in a circle with someone in the middle and theres this song playing, and the person in the middle has to look around for someone to dance w (presumably their crush) and sance gouyad (this dance) with them, so just hear me out,,, purly playing the game, WOAH

•angela and sylvia playing childhood haitian games>>>>

•like they WERE gossiping but holy fuck SOMETIMES they just wanna jump around and play and giggle and who r we to hate on em

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ fondness (chapter 16)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 5-6k

warnings- swearing, mentions of miscarriage, tae is sad sad, kaito is back, drinking, um i think thats all? lmk if not!

a/n- Lovies!! hi i hope ur all doing good. Im trying to write a lot more because i literally just quit my current job (they treated me like shit) after 2 months. Im applying to so many places rn but in the meantime im having fun giving my tumblr a little luv <3 also apologies for any mispellings, I had read over my previous chapters and cringed at some of the words I spelled wrong. I have been learning english for years now but apparently its still not to a 100, oh well! Anyways, please enjoy! -Nini <3

"I had my suspicions"

You blushed, eyes down on your water bottle as you sat in your childhood bed again, your mother sat comfortable at the end of it as you both talked.

You arrived back home around 2am yesterday, and to say that you already felt a little better was an understatement.

"you did?" you mumbled as your mother nodded, smiling.

"when you came to visit a while ago, I saw a lot of touchiness" she giggled "but I minded my business"

"ah this is embarrassing" your hands flew to cover your face, now knowing your own mother knew about your relationship before you could say anything.

"no, I dont think so" she hummed, looking at the carpet. "I just know when a boy is in love, i remember your father-"

you inhaled sharply at her words, biting your lip and looking away.

"-...he would always look at me like I was the center of the universe"

You stayed quite for a moment before speaking up softly, "what happened?"

She smiled sadly, "he chose a different life, and I resented him for so long, but I accept it for what it was, and now that I have..I feel like im free to live again. And thats what you need to do, accept it, accept whats happened." she whispered, calming voice infiltrating the bedroom at such a late hour of the night.

Your eyes met hers, a glimmer of love was bright enough to see through her dark brown orbs. You nodded as she began to speak again,

"Taehyung and you.....I always knew it would happen" she giggled, "I remember once you guys hit middle school, and the moment I caught you sneaking into my closet for makeup before he came over to play video games-"

"oh god, stop" you blush, shaking your head

"it was cute even if you wouldnt admit it" your mother waved her arm at you.

You hummed, crossing your arms over your chest as you got lost in thought.

"so, how is he taking everything?"

"taehyung?"

she nods, eyes burning a laser into yours.

"well...i dont know" your answer was honest as she sat up.

"what do you mean?"

You sighed once more before speaking, "he and I kinda argued before I left paris...im an asshole mom" you offered a sad laugh, looking down. "im an asshole...because, I got mad at him for trying to help"

She tilted her head, listening, "Im sure he just wanted to be there for you, he was hurting as much as you"

"i know, and thats the thing mama...but I just needed to be alone and away....and he got mad when I expressed it...its not like we are married" you roll your eyes

she giggles, "I understand my dove, but listen" she grabbed your hands, "things like this happen all the time, we cant run away from our loved ones when life gets bad. What happened between you both was terrible, and im so sorry sweetheart" she whispered, your own eyes getting a bit misty, "but running back home isnt gonna do anything"

You nodded before smiling, "I came here because its comforting, you're comforting.....now you're scolding me?" your voice had humor.

She laughed, "you are a 23 year old woman, I cant control your actions, like whether you stayed with Taehyung or came back to me, however I can tell you my opinion, and if your decision was right or wrong, not trying to guilt you, just being a mom"

You nod slowly, fidgeting with the heating pad sitting on your stomach to help ease the lasting cramps that only served as a painful reminder.

"you make your own choices hun, but...let me ask you this, do you love him?" she whispered

Your eyes shot up at her, your heart singing with sadness yet love.

"....yeah.." you whispered so quietly it was barley heard. "yeah I do" you couldnt help but begin to cry as she wrapped you into her arms.

A mothers loving embrace.

It could heal all, and this is exactly why you came back.

"You find comfort here, but as you get older, you need to find comfort in new things." your mother began, " life is scary, but its all about changing. Without change, life would be rather boring, huh?" her hands ran up and down your back as your face rested on her shoulder. "Taehyung has been here forever, youve grown together, but these new feelings? they offer new experiences,...amazing ones too. Im sure he loves you just as much, thats why he let you go..." she whispered, "but my dear, you have to fight through the darkness to find the prize, to find why you had the connection at all"

You were full on Niagara falls into your mothers sweater. Her words provided insight, but as well as pain. You shouldnt have left him behind, it was wrong, and you hoped he understood.

you realized that you were your fathers daughter, and not just in DNA. Your first instinct was to run away from your loved ones, run away from family when they would give you everything.

You were becoming your father.

And you hated how much you still loved that man even if he left you. and you hate that you take after him in such painful ways.

But most of all...you hate how you didn't even see it happening.

"shh" your mother cooed, holding you as she rocked back and forth slowly. "my child, life will settle, but you need to find your way, and if thats with him, you need to tell him"

"i know" you whispered, wiping your eyes as you clutched the tiny bear you packed.

The bear.

Fuck, you wish you didnt bring it in your suitecase.

It was the teddy bear taehyung bought the day after finding out you were pregnant, The perfectly placed initial on the middle that always made you remember he thought of you as a Kim, as well, even if you werent married.

It was a reminder he wanted you in any way he could grasp you.

As a girlfriend, a mother to his child, eventually a wife, but always....always his best friend in life.

Your mother looked down at the bear, smiling. "y/n..."

"hm?" you mumbled, leaning back as she put your hair behind your ears.

"im so sorry this happened to you" her voice was quiet again, "you would have been a beautiful mother....and if you decide to have kids in the future, thats exactly what youll be"

You nod sadly, "thank you...."

It was quiet for a moment before she spoke up again, "when I was in my twenties, your father and I decided to try and have another child..we saw how you clung to your pre-school friends and called them your sisters" she chuckled "so we thought maybe another baby would be good. Well- I got pregnant right before your 4th birthday" her voice choked softly as you watched, this being news to you.

"unfortunately I, too, had lost it" she teared up explaining the situation. "it was one of the most painful things I ever went through....but looking back at it" she smiled at you gently, rubbing your back, "im so greatful"

"grateful?" you whispered, in shock

"I had you, my little best friend whos always stuck by me even in the worse situations...you never had to fight for my attention, we were always together"

You wiped her tears as you smiled sadly, agreeing.

"and you have always been more than enough." she mumbled, "so my love, I guess the lesson here is...that once you learn to accept it and know the situation for what it is.....you'll heal"

You hugged her tightly as her words struck your chest with a great force.

She was right, whether you liked her advice or not, shes been through exactly what you have, and if she can make it out and be such a wise, resilient woman today, than you can too.

But you'll be damned if its in the steps of your father.

Later after she went to bed, you were left alone, the covers up to your neck as the tv played some old school tv show that only got airtime in the late hours of the night.

You found your hand resting on top of your stomach as you laid calmly. You had to acknowledge it to get past it. "im not pregnant anymore..." you whispered, feeling an overwhelming sadness fulfill you. Your eyes drew down to your hand as you rubbed your stomach, feeling a bit stupid at what you were doing.

taking a few deep breathes, you opened your eyes and looked up at the ceiling, "its okay to be sad....its okay to cry" you remind yourself aloud, voice quiet and shaky, "but I can heal....its not my fault" you nod, tears falling for the millionth time within the past few days.

You were exhausted, mentally and physically, but after tonight you feel like perhaps you made a breakthrough, you were proud of yourself even if it was just a baby step.

You turned over in bed to look at your phone, the time was 3:55 am, yikes.

You barley had time to register it before the lock screen caught your attention, now all you could think about is how Taehyung was feeling.

-

"why are you already back?"

"dude just give me my fish and dog so I can go" Taehyung mumbled, standing at the front of his friend Jin's apartment.

He laughed and turned away for a moment before returning with Hae swimming around in his tiny tank, the packet of food wedged underneath jins chin. "here"

Taehyung took the bowl and the food, nodding "thanks..."

"mhm" he smiled, "so wheres Y/N? The last thing you posted was a photo of her standing on the edge of some fountain, did you push her into it?" he snorted, trying to be light hearted with his friend.

"no shes just, busy I guess" he shrugged, trying to leave quickly, "wheres yeontan?"

Jin looked behind him and picked up the small dog, putting the leash on him securely before handing it to taehyung, who took it with his free hand.

"thanks for not killing my pets and taking care of them, even if it was probably Stephanie who did everything" taehyung referred to Jin's wife, who stood behind him with a wide grin of acknowledgment. "i'll see ya" he nodded before turning down the hall to leave, Yeontan leading the way on his leash.

Taehyung walked on the sidewalk, his feet finding the familiar path to his own apartment.

He left Paris a day and half after you did, only communicating with you through occasional texts that left much to the imagination when it came to how you were doing.

He unlocked the door and walked in, wincing at how messy you two left it before leaving. His hands gently put Hae down on the kitchen counter as he began to pick laundry up, tossing them into a ball and making a mental note to do a washing load this weekend.

Tae checked his phone for any sign of you, frowning when he was met with 0 notifications.

Would it be wrong to call you? he didnt know anymore, things felt awkward...you left with no closure or definitive answer on what was okay or what crossed the boundaries.

It definitely felt uneasy being alone in the apartment, he missed your loud laughing, and the good food you always made for him.

He even missed when you would force him to watch shitty reality shows with you because it meant he got to cuddle with you on the couch for a few hours.

The rumbling sound of his stomach knocked him out of his head as he turned to the kitchen. There wasnt much, other than a few now rotten bananas sitting on the counter.

His hand gripped the fridge handle as his eyes were met with an ultrasound photo hung up by a hello kitty magnet, it felt like salt was poured into his wound...his hand slid off the handle. he wasnt hungry anymore.

Beside the photo was doctors reports hung up for upcoming appointments and reminders.

This upcoming weekend was supposed to be the gender reveal. Deep down Taehyung didnt care if it was a boy or girl, but not that he'd be having neither, it felt more upsetting.

It was a reminder of something that he might never get to experience with you.

He found his way to the kitchen counter, sitting in the quiet room as yeontans tiny pitter-patter paws echoed through the apartment wood flooring.

Taehyungs eyes were drawn to hae, the tiny yellow fish swimming around in his spongebob tank, a toy pineapple placed perfectly in the center for him. For some reason he teared up.

suddenly he felt the urge to hear from you, but he felt selfish for doing so. You should be the one to reach out, right?

He didnt know anymore.

"oh hae....I miss mama" he sighed, leaning down to rest his head in his crossed arms over the table.

-

"are you gonna just sit in bed?" your mothers voice echoed into your room, the lights were off and the curtains were closed as two large blankets covered your body....it was noon.

"I'll get out soon"

She shook her head, leaning against the door frame "Hun, I need to go shopping, I need to know you are up and alive before I leave you here alone"

Reluctantly you sat up, wiping your sleepy eyes as nostalgia from high school mornings hit you.

"there she is!" your mom cheered, directing her cat to follow over to you as she turned to leave.

You smiled at it as you stretch, "hi baby" your voice cooed before turning over and unhooking your phone from the charger

2 notifications

"oh" you mumbled, quickly unlocking it and going to your texts. You wish it was Taehyung, unfortunately it wasnt...

Kaito: hey, I know this is sort of inappropriate to text you like this, I get it, but I cannot stop thinking about you. I cant stop thinking about the baby. Can we please talk about maybe getting a paternity test?

you frowned, petting the cat as she climbed into your lap

kaito: and I know btw that you dont want me to be the father figure, which is fine. Ive taken time to understand that...however i need to know if its mine, I cant live without knowing y/n. please call or text.

Oh thats just great, another person you had to break the news to.

Your mother came back down the hall, knocking on the door frame "so are you coming or not? im leaving" she smiled

"I'll stay here, thanks though mama, hows your back?"

She waved her hand in dismissal "oh im fine honey, I got my brace"

You smiled sympathetically as she turned to leave, knowing she was probably lying about the pain.

Shes always been stubborn, thats where you get it from.

After getting cleaned up a bit, you made your way outside to sit on the front deck, propping your phone up as you sit in the rocking chair. Were you really about to facetime Kaito?

....guess so...

After a few rings, you began to feel the tightness in your chest...the anticipation...the nervousness...

"hello?" his voice echoed through your ears, for some odd reason you felt like crying already.

"hey....are you at work?"

"on break" he smiled softly, eyes looking into yours through the phone screen. It felt odd to sit here on call with him, you havent done it since you both had been dating.

"so..."

He sat down, propping the phone up against a wall as he watched you, making it clear he was ready to talk. "listen, please understand this isnt me trying to make my way back into your life"

You nod, picking at the skin around your fingernails.

"I just want to know if its mine is all, I mean, I figured theres a chance it is, no? so this is warranted right? i dont want to seem pushy...."

You sigh, looking at him, "um, well I called you because I wanted to discuss everything"

"what do you mean?" his head tilted softly

"kaito, I uh, I lost the baby" you said aloud, nodding as you did so. In some way, the words left your mouth a lot easier than just a few days prior.

You were knee-deep in the healing process

"oh." was all he responded, his face appearing confused and unsure, "you lost the...baby?"

"miscarriage" you add, "it happened a few days ago, I never had the chance to tell whether it was yours or taehyungs"

He frowned, "y/n, im sorry"

"dont apologize its fine, im fine"

"god...."he ran his hands over his face, obviously deeply upset by the news.

"its okay" you assured again as he watched you for a moment,

"do you think it was mine? genuinely?" he whispered

You shrugged, eyes dragging away from the screen to look at the cars driving past the house "I dont know"

You did, you were 90% sure it was taehyungs, this was decided last night as you carefully calculated the dates between periods, and the breakup vs when you and taehyung got together.

If it was kaitos, that would have meant you were close to being 5-6 months pregnant, and at the time of the miscarriage, you were about 3-4.

regardless, it was still upsetting, and in hindsight, it didnt matter anymore especially when you had to sit and break everything down to your ex.

He sighed again, "how are you managing?" he whispered

"im good, im at my moms house right now"

"wheres taehyung?"

you scoffed slightly, even after telling him the situation he only cared about you and taehyung. "Kaito I called to inform you about the baby and the baby alone, we dont need to discuss my personal life, you dont get to know information that no longer involves you"

He sat watching you for a moment before nodding "okay....sorry?"

"thank you for being understanding during this, and all I ask is that you continue to be respectful to not only me, but taehyung"

He rolled his eyes slightly "okay"

"okay" you repeated, sitting near the phone, "well...thats all I suppose, text me if you have more to discuss on the topic, have a good shift"

with that, you hung up and couldnt help the slight smile that popped up on your face, you finally stuck up for yourself, and taehyung

It felt good.

so good that you almost called taehyung out of instinct.

would he be okay with that?

you decided against it, putting your phone away as you sat back and swayed in the rocking chair.

-

Taehyung gently creaked open the door of what used to be his bedroom, but was now reserved in the space of a future nursery.

He hadnt been in here in a while, and now as he sets his eyes on it all, he wishes he didnt walk in.

There were boxes of items you ordered online piled up in the corner, he smiled sadly and looked through them.

The crib you bought, he promised he would put it together for you, you were never good at building things, instructions or not.

The thought made him giggle softly as he looked at the other things, the vanity and picture frames. The familiar grief found its way into his chest as he went over and laid on the rug in the center of the room.

It was a lilac purple rug, you picked it out and decided the nursery will be just that color scheme, regardless if it was a girl or not. His fingers weaved through it as he began to cry, eyes scanning over the room that will forever be empty, items put to waste. The small bundle of baby toys that never get to be played with.

He never realized just how much he was hurting, but he had to say not having you at his side made it sting even more.

Yeontan nudged his way into the room and grabbed one of the stuffies, making his skilled exit quickly as taehyung got up

"hey! thats not yours!" he frowned and chased out of the room after the small dog, following him around the living room before running into your room. He gave up and dropped the giraffe by your desk, his tiny legs leading him away to hide.

Taehyung kneeled to pick it up, unable to help the way his eyes scanned over the items on top of your desk.

Unorganized homework for school, binders left open and messy, he smiled a bit at it as he walked over, his arm accidentally pushing some of the books off the side.

"shit" he sighed, leaning down to pick them up.

There was a smaller brown notebook that caught his attention, he didnt want to snoop around your things, but when the front of it says "to my love", its pretty hard to ignore.

He carefully sat on the ground and opened it, feeling wrong for doing so but unable to stop.

The first page was full of your handwriting.

May 11th

so...today I just found out the biggest news of my life. im pregnant, its weird to even write. I just bought this notebook at the flea market because I need to tell someone. Im really scared, and im unsure of what you will think of me. I love you a lot, and I hope I get the chance to gift this to you after all is said and done

suddenly he felt like he was doing something wrong, reading something forbidden.

He scanned over the next page quickly, seeing how you spoke about dedicating this as a future love note for him, a chance to let him see inside your mind.

He tossed it back on top of your desk and sighed softly, he missed you so much and it seems like every second only let that feeling grow.

He wasnt sure what position you two were in, but he loved you dearly, probably a lot more than a person should love another human being.

He hoped you felt the same deep and burning desire.

Thoughts passed into his brain, he realized he was grateful you went through the crazy process of the past few years, in which referred to the friends with benefits situation.

If it never happened, you would have never been this close now.

Little does he know, that miles away from Busan, you laid on the floor of your room too, looking over older texts between the two of you and giggling

even if it was about groceries, or a small message asking him to pick you up from class, it made you smile.

Taehyung and your mom have been the only ones that you can say have never left you, the only ones who are there when you need them.

were you going to let him go over something that can be talked over and fixed?

you looked out the window and silently spoke,

"i'll see you soon”

-

Going back to your old doctor in Gwangju was an odd experience, you had too have been no older than 18 the last time you visited her.

“It seems that everything is going smoothly, and you said you’ve stopped bleeding?”

You nod, fidgeting with the gown you put on as the doctor wrote down everything.

“Your tests seem good, i would say you are coming along healthily after this, which is a good thing, right?” She smiles cheerfully, “do you have any questions for me?”

You shrug, looking up at her “I don’t really know”

She sighed and sat down “y/n, what you went through would be hard on anyone. You are so young and you already are stressed with work and college, and this being thrown on top had to have been difficult right?”

You nod, resting your head in your palm.

“Do you think seeing a therapist would be helpful to you?” She asked sweetly

You quickly sat up “well…im going back to Busan eventually and-”

“I can contact your doctor in Busan and have them find you a therapist”

You sighed deeply, therapy was something you never really considered. Would it help? Maybe. But bottom line was that you never liked discussing your problems, you have always been closed off and the thought of being vulnerable with some stranger is terrifying.

“Look y/n, I’ll send your doctor a note and you can discuss it with her once you go back, how about that?”

You nod reluctantly “okay….”

-

Once you arrived back with your mother at the house, she began to cook something up for lunch as you laid on the couch, cuddling the cat.

She purred in your lap, making you smile.

"how was the appointment?" your mom spoke from the kitchen, peaking over to you as her hands chopped veggies up on a cutting board.

"well...It was fine I suppose"

"just fine?" she smiled, adjusting her glasses, "did she say anything bad?"

"no, no, nothing bad, but just...she wants me to do this therapy thing and I just-"

"oh that sounds like a good plan...I think therapy would be beneficial"

You sigh, looking down at the cat, "well I probably wont be doing it so..yeah"

She stopped cutting, looking over at you "and why is that?"

You simply shrug in reply

"you know theres nothing wrong in getting help...right?"

"yeah but im not sure im ready to go talk to someone yet"

She laughed softly, "thats when you should talk to someone, when you are unsure, get it out before its all locked up"

sitting up a bit, you look back at her, "I guess, I dont know, we will see...."

Your eyes returned back to the tv in front of you as your mother continued to create a meal for the two of you. As a mom, she felt defeated, she knew the other alternative here but knowing you, the reaction may be less than ideal.

The last thing she wants to do is interfere with your current situation, but hey.....

what is a mom if she isn't nosey?

taglist!-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

[janeblr]

Grrr being a nurse AND a patient is so frustrating because I can’t navigate the healthcare system as a patient the way I do as a nurse. Like what nurse jane wants to do is call the on-call physician and request an order for zyprexa 10mg po qHS to tide me over until i see my psychiatrist and i can start lamictal again, but patient jane has to leave a message with the nurse’s station regarding my depression and wait 3-5 business days for a response :) SCREAM im so mad.

I’m severely fucking depressed; no energy, no motivation, no appetite, irritable and labile, my work performance is suffering, all i do is lay in bed but i cant sleep unless i drug myself, i relapsed on SH and its literally all i think about, The only reason i firmly DONT want to kms is my job; it is an honor and a privilege to care for the dying, im VERY good at my job, and my patients love me. but i know im falling behind at work and making mistakes, not spending as much time with my patients, forgetting to call in refills and update families, etc BECAUSE all i do besides work is lay in bed. and i try to get out of the house and do things but its so fucking hard when my brain is actively working against me.

and i cant wait the 6-8 weeks or whatever to taper back onto lamictal. the zyprexa will work FAST and work well without being sedating; i was on it back in 2020 and it worked great for a few months until it suddenly stopped working, but i dont need it to last a long time, just until im stable on lamictal again. just long enough to keep me from hacking up my fucking arm smh. ridiculous! i would just take the full 100mg of seroquel i have every night but just the 25mg is SO sedating i slept like 20hrs straight the one time i took the full 100. so thats a no.

Im also frustrated because the whole reason i tapered off my lamictal is because i thought i was better, that i needed mood stabilizers while I was an emotionally unstable teenager but now as an adult i thought i would have leveled out. WRONG! Still insane! And i guess coming to terms with the fact that I might need mood stabilizers for the rest of my life is difficult. Like its really gonna be like this forever huh

[4spooniesupport]

--- my story ... please don't read if you are sensitive to sexual abuse. Normally, I don't write about it, but today I feel like it is eating me alive from the inside, and I just have to get it out.

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I have a half brother who I had no idea existed until like 20011 (ish). We met, and the genetic sexual attraction (GSA, yes! it's real. Google it) was INTENSE from the moment I laid ones on him. But at first we were just brother/sister, talking online, seeing each other at family get togethers and that was pretty much it.

But then in 2012, that all changed abruptly when he called me and invited me over for drinks. I remember telling him, "IDk if it's a good idea, you are my brother, and I tend to get kinda frisky when I get drunk." (hello GSA) Long story short, I went over, we drank, we drank more, we fucked, we smoked weed, and before the night was over, we fucked. GSA was in full swing for us both. I went over to his house as often as possible. The sex was phenomenal. It was like our bodies were made for each other. He was the first person I ever enjoyed (and damn near loved) sex with.

Fast forward a few months, he was the middle of a nasty divorce and he actually moved into my house and our relationship was intense, until our dad found out, and kicked him out of my house,

Then, in on July 15, 2013, I had moved on and had a new boyfriend. I was at his place and I texted my brother that if he wanted more tattoos he should give my boyfriend a try since he was an awesome tattoo artist. About 5 minutes later, my brother texted me, "if you want to fix this, you will be home when I get to your house and I'm on my way." I knew he meant business, so I had my boyfriend take me home. Something told me I was gonna be in serious trouble, but I didn't listen. My brother was mad at me and I hate when people are mad at me.

I got home and not two minutes later he shows up. He grabs a soda and looks at my DVDs and is acting completely normal, but then (I swear he has DID like I do) he starts pissing back and forth and stops right behind me. I can feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. My voice shakes and I say, "you are about to hurt me. aren't you?" He replies sharply (in a voice unlike anything I'd heard before) with "I should" Before I could process what he said, he grabbed the top of my head by my hair and dragged me to the middle of the room, shoved me down, sat on my chest with his knees on my chest and started punched my face saying over and over "you are mine. You've got to remember that. You are mine!" Then he raped me and punched me vagina. I'm pretty sure I felt his fist in my throat. He then went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife and came back and sat on top of me. I was sure he was going to kill me. But he cut my arm and my leg (had 10 stitches in both) and then he cut his palm and forced me to drink his blood. "there, now I'm always a part of you" he snarled. Then, as fast as it started, it was over. (another personality switch?) He stands and calmly says, "its over, you wanna watch a movie sis?"