#its going to happen and its going to be wonderful

[happyk44]

[Text ID: 1. I have felt so much grief at the end of so much love that all of my love has started to feel like the beginning of grief.

So, I can't stop talking about what will happen if my best friend dies. I am decimated by the loss of things that aren't even gone yet. I am so full of the people I love - I have let so much of myself be made of them - that I can tell, with clinical specificity, precisely how little of me there could be if they were gone. The more firmly and reliably entrenched they are in my life, the more the fear persists. I, too, am defined by absence. I am a child, and anything could be taken from me at any moment.

2. Tumblr post from @/sentientsky: massive fan of characters who have been abandoned time and time again and who are trying to trust but are simultaneously going through all five stages of preemptive grief. characters who are bracing for the blade to find its mark and twist and break them open. character who know how the story ends - how the story has always ended. once again, of course, in a totally normal and not at ALL projecting way

3. I love you - I do - but I am afraid of making that love too important. Because you're always going to leave me. We can't deny it. You're always going to leave.

4. Even in my fantasy, I keep the car running

In case I need to take off

The months blur together

I watch the ceiling buckle

I wonder when it's caving in

There's a black hole in the living room floor

I keep standing on the edge and looking in

5. you are all dangling limbs and half-burned memories, always waiting always swallowing the bitter pill before it's even offered to you.

you know nothing but the left side of the stage and the frantic replay of a mind trying to rationalize the end of all things.

you're doing it again, aren't you? -

preemptively grieving what you have yet to lost, as though that will save you - as though tracing the stencil shape of a wound will make it bleed less when the blade finds its mark. /end ID]

on preemptive grief. on bracing for impact. on looking towards the horizon line and flinching

Rayne Fisher-Quann, “home for the holidays: an essay (sort of) about grief (sort of)” // me // David Levithan // The Crane Wives, “Black Hole Fantasy” // me (again)

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Cooking with Yuutsum

SUMMARY: Your tsum wants to go find some of the other tsums, but you end up finding Kalim’s and Azul's tsums together in the cafeteria kitchen. What's the problem? They both really like your tsum, and while Kalim-tsum can be quite affectionate, Azul-tsum can be a little... jealous.

CHARACTERS: Azul Ashengrotto, Azul’s tsum; Kalim Al-Asim, Kalim’s tsum (+Floyd Leech, Jamil Viper)

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader

WORD COUNT: 1.040 words

COMMENTS: I got this idea while playing Twisted Tsumderland 3, more specifically the twistune with Idia’s, Vil’s and Malleus’s tsums. So yeah, maybe I'll do something like this with those three too.

(If I do I will update this post with the link.)

I hope you enjoy 😉

Your tsum was restless in Ramshackle Dorm and seemed to want to wander around the campus. Maybe it wanted to take a walk?

You take it in your arms and leave your dorm. You let it guide you and it ends up taking you to the cafeteria kitchen. But how did it know you would find other tsums there?

In the kitchen were Kalim, Jamil, Azul and Floyd, and with them Kalim’s and Azul's tsums.

The moment you walk in and see those two tsums, your tsum jumps from your arms to the floor making that happy tsum sound. Kalim-tsum does the same thing but instead of jumping to the floor it takes a big leap to land next to your tsum, but ends up throwing itself against it and the two roll together for a second. They get dizzy but quickly recover and Kalim-tsum starts to rub its cheek with your tsum's.

“Aww, how cute, they are such good friends already!” Kalim says with a big smile.

“Hm? What's up with this tsum?” Floyd asks about Azul's tsum. “It looks like it's shaking.”

And suddenly Azul-tsum throws itself at Kalim-tsum like a bullet, sending it flying across the kitchen into a pile of pots and pans, which causes a loud bang.

Everyone is startled! Kalim is worried about his tsum, Jamil goes into his usual panic mode, Azul himself is confused without knowing why his tsum did that and Floyd is laughing in amusement.

Meanwhile, Azul-tsum smiles with its eyes at your tsum, but your tsum gets angry and seems to start giving it a scolding. Which makes it shrink a little and become very sad.

You immediately went to Kalim-tsum and picked it up to see if it was okay. It looks at you and its eyes widen and shine. He snuggles up to you and tries to get close to your face to caress you as if nothing had happened before you picked it up.

“Oh, ha ha, it really likes you too. I'm glad.” Kalim says blushing a little.

After giving Azul-tsum a scolding, your tsum came to you to see if Kalim-tsum was okay too. But then you hear a strange, although cute, sound. You realize that the source of the sound is Azul-tsum and it seems to be... crying? Or throwing a little tantrum?

“HAHAHAHA It really is like Azul. HAHAHA”

“SHUT UP FLOYD!” Azul is blushing with embarrassment.

“Really?” Jamil whispers to himself with a mocking smile. “I wonder if it's because of the crying or the tantrum. Maybe both?”

Your tsum approaches Azul-tsum again, sighs and seems to give it a kiss on the cheek, or at least the equivalent of one since they don't have lips or a mouth. Azul-tsum stops squirming and your tsum rubs its cheek against Azul-tsum's. And suddenly Azul-tsum seems to become very needy towards your tsum, and practically sticks to it.

This makes Azul's blush even more intense.

Kalim-tsum jumps out of your arms and approaches your and Azul's tsums to press itself against Azul-tsum as if hugging it. Azul-tsum's expression looks sullen.

“I think it's saying it forgives Azul’s tsum.” Kalim says.

Azul’s and Kalim's Tsums were so close together that when your tsum jumped it was able to easily land on top of both of them, forming a pyramid of tsums.

“Ha ha ha! They’re doing the thing!” Floyd says.

And it seems that the two base tsums are more satisfied now. Both Kalim’s and Azul's tsum are smiling with their little eyes.

“I'm glad you seem to have sorted things out.” Jamil says to the tsums. “But you should still clean up the mess you made.” And points to the pots and pans scattered across the floor.

Azul ended up helping Jamil to get things back in order, after all, the main responsible for that was his tsum.

Your tsum wanted to help them cook. During the cooking, your and Kalim's tsums seemed to just want to have fun, while Azul's tsum, from time to time, seemed to want to impress your tsum.

And one of those times when it seemed a little too cocky, it ended up slipping off the table, but you managed to catch it before it fell to the floor. Azul-tsum looked at you and when you smiled at it its eyes lit up, but then it looked embarrassed and seemed to be trying to hide in your arms.

You put it down on the table again and your tsum approaches Azul-tsum to give it what looks like a kiss on the cheek. It smiles with his eyes while blushing a little. Azul himself is also blushing slightly in embarrassment.

While Azul's tsum seems to want to impress your tsum, Kalim's tsum seems to want to do anything and everything with your tsum. Basically the thing: the work is not for two, but it makes it for two. Or three because it also doesn't want Azul-tsum to feel left out.

When the time comes for them to part and go their separate ways, Azul’s Tsum struggles in Azul's arms at first, but soon calms down and just looks sad. While Kalim's Tsum appears to give your Tsum a kiss on the cheek and jump onto Kalim's shoulder while waving goodbye with its little arm.

“You'll have plenty of time to be with (Y/N)'s Tsum when you return to your world or dimension or wherever you come from.” Azul confides with his tsum. “In the meantime, we have work to do. And please don't embarrass me even more. What is going on with you?”

“Hey, I have an idea~” Floyd says with an amused smile. “Hey, Koebi-chan, why don't you and your tsum go to the Mostro Lounge later?”

Both Azul and his tsum knew what Floyd was doing, but neither was against the idea.

“You can also go to Scarabia in the meantime if you want.” Kalim invites you. “I want to take one last carpet ride with my tsum. I bet you and your tsum would enjoy it too.”

Jamil was worried for a moment, but then he remembered that it was you and your tsum they were talking about, so maybe he didn't need to worry that much.

More Twisted Tsumderland content:

Yuutsum 1 (Riddle; Cater; Leona; Jack; Floyd; Epel; Sebek)

Yuutsum 2 (Deuce; Azul; Jade; Kalim; Rook; Ortho; Lilia)

Yuutsum 3 (coming soon)

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[bamfkeeper]

All I Want. | K.W

summary: It's so busy, you miss Kurt.

warnings: GN!reader | Fluff | Brief mention of mutant treatment

a/n: I had a handful of requests/ideas I'm going to try to do. I love a lot of them so I'll do my best to pick the ideas that were mentioned more than once. For now here's this little drabble, not long but something cute. Not edited ignore mistakes. ;; wc: 1.3k

The holidays turned the mansion into a whirlwind of endless activity and festive energy.

Every moment seemed filled with purpose as you moved from one seasonal task to another - mixing cookie dough in the warm kitchen while trying to keep prying blue hands away from the dough, building snowmen in the crisp winter air with the younglings, organizing decorations from dusty attic boxes, and carefully hanging twinkling lights along the hallways. The mansion buzzed with non-stop holiday preparations from sunrise to sunset, and while you had help from the other older mutants, the majority of the planning and decorating fell on your shoulders.

Between the constant motion of holiday tasks and the infectious excitement in the air, you found yourself working well past your usual limits, your body finally signaling its need for rest as evening approached.

The cold winter nights grew more and more frigid, nothing brought you more comfort than sinking into the plush embrace of the living room couch, wrapping your hands around a steaming mug of hot cocoa topped with a generous swirl of whipped cream and a sprinkle of crushed peppermint and cocoa shavings. The warmth of the dozen bamfs that gathered around you didn’t go unnoticed, creating a cozy cuddle pile with you. Their curiosity and playful nature showed as they cautiously stretched forward, tiny tongues darting out to steal tastes of the sweet cream and minty chocolate garnish that crowned your drink.

Kurt's presence had grown increasingly sparse lately. The holiday season always brought an overwhelming surge of responsibilities for the X-Men, as they encountered a significant increase in cases of abandoned mutants during this time of year. The harsh winter conditions made their missions even more critical, keeping the team constantly engaged in rescue operations.

The majority of mutants they discovered were victims of abuse or deliberately abandoned, left to face the bitter elements alone. The numerous children they found never failed to make your heart ache, young souls who had just begun to manifest their powers and were cast aside by those who should have protected them.

The weight of his absence pressed heavily on your heart.

This year had been particularly difficult, as your relationship with Kurt had been flourishing, you grew closer than you had been with anyone and finally felt comfortable in your own skin. Yet these precious moments of togetherness remained frustratingly elusive. The memory of his enthusiastic promises to share traditional recipes from his homeland lingered in your mind, but his overwhelming schedule had prevented that from happening.

Night after lonely night, you found yourself lying awake, wondering when he might finally return with enough time to dedicate to your shared moments together.

You hated feeling so selfish, but you also couldn't help it.

A gentle hand brushed against your cheek as one of the mischievous bamfs scrambled its way up to perch on your shoulder, its small tongue darting out to playfully lick away the spots of whipped cream that had collected on your lip and the tip of your nose. "H-Hey, hey, I think you've had enough sugar, all of you," you spoke with mild exasperation to the gathering of bamfs surrounding you, their eager eyes fixed on your drink as they continued their persistent attempts to steal a taste.

The sheer volume of cookies, candy canes, and other sweets they managed to consume on a daily basis had become a source of concern, and each night you found yourself anxiously waiting, fully expecting to discover them all suffering from severe sugar-induced stomach aches.

Yet their bellies were made of steel, the hellfire bellowing inside them scorching everything that hit their stomachs.

After what felt like an eternity of coaxing and gentle persuasion, you finally managed to get all of the little bamfs settled into their beds for the night. The last one had been particularly resistant, but eventually succumbed to sleep.

Exhausted from the long day, you made your way to the bathroom to complete your nightly routine. You brushed your teeth and washed your face, taking comfort in these familiar actions, none of it took much effort and was all muscle memory. When you finished, you reached for the light switch, flicking it off before wearily making your way out of the bathroom.

Your body felt heavy with fatigue as you climbed into bed, your mind already drifting toward the promise of sleep. Just as you were about to fall asleep, a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around your waist. The unexpected contact sent a jolt of adrenaline through your system, instantly dispelling any trace of drowsiness from your body as all your muscles grew tight. On instinct, you threw your elbow backward in a defensive motion, connecting with something solid behind you.

"Ach - Scheiße!" Kurt's pained voice rang out as he quickly brought his hand up to cradle his nose. The sudden commotion caused several of the bamfs to materialize in your lap, their small forms bristling with protective energy. Their eyes glowed intensely in the darkness as they positioned themselves defensively with their backs puffed up, but upon recognizing Kurt, their aggressive posturing immediately melted away.

"Kurt?? Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry," you muttered apologetically, your hand instinctively reaching out through the darkness to find his where it was pressed against his face. Your heart was still racing from the startle. "You completely caught me off guard there...I didn't even sense you in the room at all."

"Heh...it's alright, liebling...I should have let you know I returned from the mission early. I wanted to surprise you but...you had already gone to sleep." He gently rubbed his nose where you had accidentally struck him, before carefully taking your outstretched hand in his and leaning closer to study your face in the dim light. "You seem completely drained of energy, ja? Was it a particularly demanding day?" His brow furrowed with concern, causing his usually neat hair to fall forward in loose curls that partially obscured his worried expression.

Your hand drifted upward of its own accord to brush through his disheveled curls, trying to smooth them back into place. "Yeah I...I had a busy day..." you admitted with a tired sigh.

"Sprechen Sie mit mir." Kurt spoke gently, his voice a soothing whisper as he drew you close against his body. The winter season had blessed him with an exceptionally thick coat, his usual short fur now grown into a luxurious winter covering that was so soft and warm. You nestled deeper into his embrace, his typically velvet-like fuzz had grown into longer, softer strands that were just long enough to twirl playfully around your fingers, particularly abundant across his chest where it formed gentle curls.

His tail moved with gentle affection against your leg as he carefully positioned you both for comfort, creating a cozy space where you could share your stories. With interest reflecting in his eyes, Kurt settled in to hear about your day. He listened intently as you recounted your baking experience with the bamfs, playing outside with the children, and decorating like an expert. You were pretty proud of yourself.

"Ah, I figured you made those cookies... they are absolutely perfect, my liebe. I might have snuck a few when I got back," he smiled warmly, his prominent fangs poking out endearingly as he spoke. His gentle, playful tease made your cheeks flush with warmth and you instinctively shifted even closer to his comforting presence.

"Did you happen to see the special batch I made just for you?" you asked, looking up at him expectantly.

"Ja...I must confess…I ate them all," he replied with a hint of satisfaction in his voice, his lips brushing your forehead as he leaned down to kiss your skin.

"You didn't save a single one??" You looked up at him with a playful smirk, which he couldn't help but mirror on his own face.

"Nein... they were specifically made for me, weren't they? And I am absolutely not sharing," he declared with mock possessiveness. He loved your cookies, and whenever you bakes him anything, he tended to be pretty protective over the things you made.

"Greedy..." You murmured, making Kurt lean down again, his chest rumbling softly as his voice became heavy with drowsiness.

"Stets."

Thanks for reading~

*BAMF*

Dividers by @/strangergraphics | Images found on Pinterest

[thewolvesofthenorth]

Chapter Six

Chapter Six of Man of Honor

Series Masterlist ❖ Main Masterlist ❖ House Of The Dragon Masterlist

Rating: 18+ Word Count: ~5k+ Summary: The morning after. Warnings: Angst angst angst, language, fluff, slow burn, pining, SMUTTY GOODNESS (fingering, p in v) Author’s Note: After everyone’s reactions to chapter five, I’ve been extra motivated to get the next few chapters for this story cranked out. I hope you all enjoy! Comments, feedback, and reblogs are always appreciated. 🫶

⟸ Previous Chapter ❖ Next Chapter ⟹

The moment you had just shared with Cregan had been incredible, something you had only dreamed of having, and although you knew that it was wrong, a part of you did not regret it.

Hearing his words, his confession of love, had how he was willing to give up everything just for you, had left you floating. However, it was still wrong, and you feared of what the consequences would be.

What have we done?

What’s going to happen now?

Would he truly forsake his duty to the North and choose me?

What if it was all a lie?

Did he mean what he said?

You stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, listening to Cregan’s soft snores, as you laid in his warm embrace, until sleep finally took you.

You were pulled from your slumber when Cregan pulled you closer to his body, and you felt a hardness press against your lower back. Your body, reacting to Cregan’s of its own accord, had you pushing against him in return, and you bit your lip when he let out a low groan in his sleep. His arm tightened around you, hand drifting down to the apex of your thighs, and you held your breath as his fingers grazed your mound.

Is he awake?

Cregan had given you no sign that he was awake, his breathing still heavy with sleep, but you began to question it further when he once again moved. You held back a gasp when his fingers dipped between your legs and caressed your opening, collecting your wetness and then circling your clit with his fingertips.

He continued to alternate between circling your bud and teasing your hole, and your core grew wetter and hotter with each passing moment. But then he pushed a finger slowly into your heat, and you could not help but release a soft moan, your hips tilting into his touch.

Oh, Seven hells.

You gnawed on your lip, trying to control your breathing, as a second finger joined the first in its exploration. You were still a little tender, but the ever-growing amount of slick leaking out of you made it easier to take his thick fingers in. Cregan’s thumb pressed against your clit as his fingers continued to slowly pump in and out of you, and you began to grind against his palm.

Gods, his fingers feel so good.

You panted as his pace quickened, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you drew closer and closer to the edge. Still wondering if he was awake or asleep, you turned your head to find his eyes still closed, but a small smile sat upon his lips.

The bastard is awake!

No longer concerned with waking him, you began to rut against his hand, whimpering when he curled his fingers and stroked your sweet spot.

“Don’t be shy, love,” he breathed, lightly nipping at your earlobe. “Let me hear you.”

He withdrew his fingers and rubbed your clit as he shifted, sliding his length between your wet thighs. You gasped as Cregan's thick length slid between your slick folds, teasing your sensitive flesh. His hand moved to grip your hip as he slowly rocked against you, his cock gliding back and forth along your slit.

Cregan groaned and captured your lips in a searing kiss as he grinded against you. The friction was maddening, stoking the fire building low in your belly. You whimpered into his mouth, desperately seeking more.

Seeming to sense your need, Cregan shifted and slowly pushed inside you. You both moaned as he sank deep, stretching and filling you completely.

"Gods, you’re taking me so well," Cregan breathed against your skin. His hand splayed across your stomach, holding you close as he began to move, setting a languid pace as he rocked into you from behind. One hand gripped your hip while the other snaked around to tease your clit. Pleasure radiated through your body with each thrust, building steadily higher.

"Cregan," you gasped, clutching at his arm.

He quickened his pace in response, driving into you more forcefully. The new angle had him hitting that perfect spot inside you with each thrust. Combined with his fingers on your clit, it was rapidly pushing you towards the edge.

"Let go, love," Cregan urged. "I've got you."

With a few more well-aimed thrusts, you shattered. Waves of bliss crashed over you as you cried out Cregan's name. He groaned and followed you over the edge, spilling himself deep inside you.

As you both came down from your post-coital bliss, Cregan peppered soft kisses along your neck and shoulder. He held you close, his arms a warm cocoon of safety and comfort. However, your fragile bubble of happiness burst under the weight of reality when the first light of dawn broke through the night sky.

Cregan sighed and released his hold on you, stretching his back, and you couldn’t help but admire the way the muscles rippled.

“I should probably go,” he reluctantly said. You nodded in understanding, knowing that it would be a scandal should anyone find the Lord of Winterfell exiting your chambers at an inappropriate hour.

“Best be quick about it,” you stated as you sat up, holding a fur against your chest to cover your modesty and somehow shield your heart. Cregan quickly dressed and sat at the edge of your bed, placing his hand against your cheek.

“I know you probably do not believe me, but I meant everything I said last night,” he reiterated with a kiss. “I love you.”

You returned the kiss, and he got up and quietly opened the door to leave. He turned to look at you one more time and you gave him a small smile, however on the inside you were an anxious wreck.

Cregan quietly shut the door and turned to walk to his chambers, his mind swirling with the events of the night. For once, he had let himself go and not held back his feelings. He had confessed his love to you, and he felt lighter for it.

However, a dark cloud also loomed over him. He knew that he had placed himself in an impossible position, caught between doing what he was duty bound to do, and what he wanted to do for himself.

Cregan knew that what the two of you had done was irresponsible, especially since he was still betrothed to Arra. And he had taken your maidenhood, something that was deeply frowned upon, especially since it was out of wedlock. He was aware that there would be dire consequences for his actions, and he needed to take time to figure out what he was going to do.

Cregan was so preoccupied with his pondering on his way to his chambers, that he did not realize that someone was waiting for him outside his door.

“Cregan,” a voice called, and his eyes snapped towards where the dimly lit figure sat.

“Cerwyn,” he awkwardly greeted as his friend stepped into the light. Cerwyn was no idiot. Cregan knew that from his disheveled appearance, the direction he had been coming from, and the unusual hour, his friend would easily surmise the situation.

“Taking a late-night stroll, my friend?” Cerwyn jested with a grin. “Or shall I say an early-morning one?”

“Uh…” Cregan scrambled to produce an answer but came up short.

“Perhaps we should speak somewhere more private,” Cerwyn suggested, sensing Cregan’s unease at giving an answer in such an exposed space. Cregan nodded and pushed the door to his solar open, quickly stepping inside, his companion following closely behind him.

Cregan ran a hand through his unruly hair, still damp from the heat of the night. He tried to compose himself as Cerwyn shut the door behind him, leaning casually against it with his arms crossed.

“Well,” Cerwyn began, his tone light yet laced with knowing. “I take it the feast was not the only eventful part of your evening? I would wager a full cask of wine that your ‘stroll’ had something to do with her.”

Cregan shot him a sharp look, but there was no malice behind it. He sighed heavily, sinking into the chair by the hearth, his broad shoulders slumping under the weight of the situation. “Spare me your jests, Cerwyn.”

“No jests, then. But do not bother denying it,” Cerwyn said, stepping away from the door and closer to the desk where Cregan now stood. “You look like a man who has both won a battle and lost a war in the same night. And the direction you were coming from makes it rather obvious.”

For a long moment, Cregan said nothing. The silence stretched between them, broken only by the faint crackle of the dying embers in the hearth. Finally, Cregan spoke, his voice low. “I have made a mess of things.”

Cerwyn raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt, letting his friend continue.

“I… I love her, Cerwyn,” Cregan admitted, his words heavy with emotion. “I have loved her for years, longer than I care to admit. And last night… I told her. I told her everything.”

“And?” he prompted.

“And I acted on it,” Cregan confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “I could not stop myself. I did not want to. But now… gods, Cerwyn, I do not know what to do. I am betrothed to Arra. I have a duty to my house, to the North. But I cannot—” He broke off, his hands clenching into fists. “I cannot let her go.”

Cerwyn leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Cregan, I have known you long enough to see the way you look at her. And I have known her long enough to see the way she looks at you. But this… this is not just about the two of you...”

Cregan looked away, his jaw tight. “I know that. I know I have made things worse for her—for both of us. But for one night… I did not care. For one night, I let myself have her. I should not have… but I could not stop myself.”

“Cregan, you know what this could mean—what it will mean—if anyone finds out. It will not just be your honor on the line. It will be hers as well.”

“I know,” Cregan snapped, his voice tinged with frustration and guilt. “But I—damn it, Cerwyn, I love her. I have always loved her.”

Cerwyn’s expression softened in understanding. “But love alone does not untangle this mess you have made.”

Cregan looked away, his jaw tight. “I know that. I am bound to Arra, as my duty demands. But my heart… my heart belongs to her. It always has. But I know I cannot easily break my oath to Arra. It is more than a marriage; it is an alliance. It is the future of the North.”

Cerwyn straightened, his brow furrowing as he studied his friend. “And what about her future, Cregan? What about her happiness? Do you think she will wait for you forever while you tear yourself apart trying to please everyone but her? She has turned down every suitor, myself included, because she has waited and continues to wait. She has countless men vying for her attention, and yet all she sees is you. Any man would happily make her their bride, but she does not want just any man, Cregan. She wants you. I have loyally stood by your side over the years, and I will do so until my final breath, but I refuse to let her heart keep breaking over you. If you choose to pursue her, then pursue her properly, do not continue to taint her honor and yours. But should you choose to cast her aside once more, I will seek her hand and try to give her the happiness that she deserves.”

Cregan opened his mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. He had no answer—at least not one that would satisfy either of them.

Cerwyn sighed, stepping back, and giving Cregan a look that was equal parts exasperation and sympathy. “You need to make a choice, Cregan. And soon. Because if you do not, you will lose her. And I promise you, that loss will haunt you far more than breaking an alliance ever could.”

With that, Cerwyn turned and walked to the door, pausing only to glance back at Cregan one last time. “You may be Lord of Winterfell, but even a lord cannot have everything. Remember that, my friend.”

And then he was gone, leaving Cregan alone in the dim light of his solar, his thoughts a storm of guilt, longing, and the faint, flickering hope that he could somehow find a way to set things right. The choices before him were clear, but none of them came without a cost.

He would either lose you or lose the North.

Once Cregan left, you laid back and stared at the ceiling, contemplating whether you should try to sleep or not. You closed your eyes and tried to clear your head, but to no avail. In the absence of Cregan’s warm embrace, you could not sleep.

Sitting up, you began to dress, the brightening light of morning peeking through the window offering a semblance of comfort in such a dreary place. Brushing your hair, you thought of what the day would bring.

Would Cregan keep his promise?

He does not exactly have the best history of keeping them.

Last night should not have happened.

Or this morning.

It was wrong.

But also felt so right.

What am I going to do?!

Sighing heavily, you grabbed your cloak and made your way through the faintly lit halls, opting to speak to Sara about what had occurred the night before. Even with the thick furs around your body, the halls of Winterfell seemed more cold than usual, and you could not help but quicken your steps.

At first, you looked in the kitchens but found no sight of her. You knew it she would not be in the Glass Gardens just yet, so you surmised that she must be in the library. You hastily made your way up the steps of the Library Tower, the cold no longer bothering you. Entering the tower, you spotted Sara in the corner, placing books back on a shelf.

She gave you a smile when she saw you, however the gloom expression on your face quickly made her concerned.

“I would say good morrow, however it seems that it may not be so,” she stated, placing her books on a nearby table. You shook your head.

“I have something I would like to discuss with you,” you said, not caring for formalities at such an early hour. Sara gestured to a set of chairs by a window, and you promptly took a seat, trying to steady your breathing after rushing up the steps.

“What is it?” she inquired. “Are you unwell?” You shook your head again.

“No,” you answered. “But…. I fear that I may have made a grave mistake last night after the feast.” She looked at you and nodded to continue.

“Cregan came by my chambers,” you began, your voice barely above a whisper. The weight of the admission pressing down on your chest, and you couldn’t quite meet her eye.

“And?” she prompted gently, though there was a flicker in her gaze that made your stomach turn. You shift your weight, your hands fidgeting on your lap

“And… I made a mistake.” The words come out softer than you intended, but they feel heavy in the air between you.

Sara didn’t immediately react, letting the moment stretch. When she spoke, her voice was steady and careful.

“What kind of mistake?”

You risked a glance at her, worried about how she would react to what you were about to tell her. She remained neutral, her face betraying nothing. You knew then that she would not judge you. So, you swallowed back your pride and confessed.

About Cregan, about his confession and his promise.

About his declaration of giving up the North just to be with you.

And how you told him not to do such a rash thing.

About you and him, together.

About last night, and how it felt to be in his arms.

You confessed about the events of the morning, the way that it felt to have him touch you.

You confessed that you had given him your maidenhead, something that was supposed to be saved for your future husband.

Your friend didn't move or speak, letting you get all of it out.

You had not meant for him to come to your chambers and confess his love for you.

You had not meant for the two of you to be together.

But it had happened.

And there was no going back.

Sara took a deep breath and placed her hand on top of yours, her gaze unwavering.

"I know that you love him, and now you know that he loves you, but what you did was very foolish.”

“I know,” you replied, your head hung low.

Sara’s hand tightened slightly over yours, not in reprimand but in reassurance. Her expression softened, though there was a shadow of worry behind her eyes.

“You have done something that cannot be undone,” she said quietly, her voice firm but kind. “I am not here to judge you, but I cannot ignore the consequences either. If anyone finds out, it will not just be your reputation at stake—it could ruin you both. And if Cregan does not act carefully, it could bring shame upon the Stark name as well.”

You nodded slowly, your stomach knotting with guilt and dread. “I know,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “I know it was wrong, but I… I could not stop myself. I have loved him for so long, Sara. And for one moment, it felt like everything I had ever wanted was within my grasp.”

Sara’s lips pressed into a thin line, and she took a moment before responding. “You have always been strong, stronger than you realize. But love… love can make fools of even the wisest of us. I do not doubt Cregan loves you; he has made that clear. But what he does next matters far more than his words—or even what happened last night.”

You blinked at her, caught off guard by the clarity of her statement. “What do you mean?”

Sara sighed, leaning back in her chair. “He says he loves you, and I believe him. Saying that he would give up everything for you sounds romantic, but we all know that it would come at a terrible cost. Cregan is bound to the North, to duty, and to Arra. You were right to tell him not to abandon his duty. His choices will affect not just himself but his house, his people, and you. If he truly loves you, he will find a way to fight for you while protecting what he has now. That is what you deserve. Anything less, and he is not worthy of the love you have given him.”

Your chest ached at the truth in her words. “And if he does not fight for me?”

Sara’s gaze hardened, though her voice remained gentle. “Then you must let him go. You cannot live your life as someone’s second choice, no matter how much you love him. You deserve more than stolen moments in the shadows—or the burden of a man who cannot choose you without destroying himself.”

Tears pricked your eyes, but you nodded, her words sinking into your heart like stones. “What should I do, Sara? I feel so… lost.”

She tilted her head, considering her words carefully. “For now, you must carry on as if nothing happened. Let Cregan come to you with a plan, if he has one. Do not chase him, do not plead for his love. He knows where you stand—he knows what he stands to lose. Let him decide if he is willing to risk it all for you. But be clear with yourself: if he offers you nothing but whispers in the dark and fleeting promises, you must walk away. That is not love—it is selfishness.”

You wiped at your eyes, grateful for Sara’s unwavering support. “And if he does not come to me at all?”

Sara smiled faintly, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Then you will have your answer. And when that time comes, you will need to decide if you are willing to let someone else in—someone like Cerwyn, perhaps.”

Your heart twisted at the mention of Cerwyn. “He deserves someone who can love him fully. I do not know if I can give him that.”

Sara shrugged lightly. “Love is not always instant, nor is it always easy. But Cerwyn is a good man. He sees you, values you, and would give you a life filled with kindness and stability. That is more than many can say for their marriages.”

You did not respond, your mind whirling with conflicting thoughts and emotions. The warmth of the morning sun filtering through the window did little to chase away the chill in your bones.

After a long silence, Sara gave your hand one final squeeze before rising from her chair. “Whatever happens, I will stand by you. Just promise me one thing.”

You looked up at her, your voice barely audible. “What?”

“Promise me that you will protect yourself. Do not let love blind you to your own worth. You are more than someone’s secret, and you deserve to be someone’s first choice.”

Her words stayed with you long after she left the library, leaving you alone with your thoughts, and you could not help but wonder if Cregan would truly fight for you—or if his duty to the North would outweigh his love.

And if the answer were the latter, what would become of you?

The sun had just begun to crest over the horizon as you made your way to the stables, the early morning chill biting at your cheeks. Sara’s words still lingered in your mind, heavy and unrelenting, as you saddled your horse.

You needed clarity—space to think. A ride through the Wolfswood always helped to clear your head, the solitude of the trees offering a sense of peace you could not find within the walls of Winterfell.

As you led your horse from the stables, the sound of boots crunching against the frozen earth caught your attention. You glanced up to see Lord Cerwyn approaching on foot, his dark riding cloak draped over one shoulder.

Your mind drifted to the feast, recalling the brief conversation you’d had with Cerwyn amid the flurry of toasts and stolen glances. You had both agreed to meet, though neither of you had settled on when. Still, you had not expected to run into him so soon.

“Good morning, my lady,” he greeted, a warm smile softening his sharp features, though his brows lifted slightly in surprise. “I did not expect to see you so early.”

You managed a small smile, though your mind felt heavy. “Nor did I,” you admitted quietly. “But I suppose this gives us a chance to talk sooner rather than later.”

His smile widened, the warmth in his gaze unmistakable. “I will not argue with that,” he said before his sharp eyes scanned your face. “Though you look like you have not slept.”

You glanced at your horse, already saddled and ready to ride, trying to deflect. “I just needed some air.”

“Planning to ride out alone?” he asked, his tone steady but touched with concern.

Your grip on the reins tightened defensively. “Yes,” you replied, though the word felt like an incomplete truth.

“Then let me join you,” he offered without hesitation, stepping closer. His tone was calm, unassuming, but his gaze held steady. “If you are going to ride out alone, you might as well have company.”

You hesitated, your eyes flickering over him. His presence was grounding, and part of you welcomed the thought of not being alone with your swirling thoughts.

“Fine,” you said quietly, motioning toward the stable. “You had better saddle your horse, then.”

Without missing a beat, Cerwyn strode past you into the stable. It wasn’t long before he emerged leading his own mount, the movement swift and practiced.

As he adjusted the reins and swung into the saddle, he cast you a sidelong glance. “You know, you’re not as convincing as you think when you say you are fine.”

You shot him a look, but his smile was more knowing than teasing. “I am fine enough, Cerwyn” you muttered, climbing onto your own horse.

“We shall see about that,” he said lightly, as the two of you nudged your horses forward into the Wolfswood.

You rode in silence as the trees of the Wolfswood closed in around you, their bare branches casting long shadows across the frost-covered ground. The rhythmic sound of hooves against the earth filled the quiet, a steady cadence that seemed to ease some of the tension in your chest.

The frost-covered trees blurred past as you rode, the cool air biting at your cheeks. Lord Cerwyn rode beside you, his presence steady and quiet, though you could feel the weight of his gaze on you. He was not pressing you to speak, but his silence was deliberate, leaving the space open for you to fill it.

Finally, unable to hold it in any longer, you broke the stillness. “Something… happened last night,” you began, your voice shaking as you tightened your grip on the reins.

Cerwyn turned his head toward you, his expression calm but knowing. “With Cregan?”

Your stomach dropped. His tone wasn’t accusatory, but the way he said it—so sure—made your chest tighten. You nodded hesitantly, unable to meet his eyes. “He… he came to me after the feast,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “He said things—things I was not expecting. And I—” You stopped, your throat tightening as shame and confusion warred within you. “I gave myself to him.”

You braced yourself for judgment, but Cerwyn’s expression did not change. Instead, he slowed his horse, letting the silence stretch between you before speaking. “I know,” he said softly.

Your head snapped toward him, your breath hitching. “You… you know?”

Cerwyn’s gaze didn’t waver. “He told me.”

The words hit you like a blow, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe. “What… what did he say?”

“Enough,” Cerwyn replied, his tone even. “Enough to know that he loves you, that he has been carrying this weight for a long time, and that he had made a mess of things—for both of you.”

You swallowed hard, the knot in your chest tightening. “I… I did not mean for this to happen,” you whispered. “I did not mean to ruin everything.”

“You have not ruined anything,” Cerwyn said firmly. “The world may tell you otherwise, but that doesn’t make it true.”

Tears pricked at your eyes as you shook your head. “I am no longer a maiden, Cerwyn. What man would want that? What kind of future could I possibly have now?”

Cerwyn slowed his horse further, his expression softening as he looked at you. “You think less of yourself because of what happened? You think it diminishes your worth?”

“I do not know what to think,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I have been told my whole life what I am supposed to be, how I am supposed to act. And now… I have ruined it all.”

He let out a quiet sigh, his gaze steady. “You are still you. You are still kind, strong, and endlessly stubborn. One night does not change that, and it certainly does not make you less deserving of love or happiness.”

You bit your lip, tears threatening to fall. “But if anyone finds out—if she finds out…”

“Arra,” he said knowingly.

You nodded, your hands trembling on the reins. “I do not want to hurt anyone. I never wanted this to happen. But I—” You faltered, the words catching in your throat.

“But you love him,” Cerwyn finished quietly.

Your breath hitched, and you looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “It does not matter,” you murmured. “He is promised to her. He has duties, responsibilities… and I—”

“You think you are not enough for him,” Cerwyn said, his tone gentle but unwavering. “But you are. You have always been enough. The question is not whether he loves you—it is whether he is willing to fight for you. And whether you are willing to let him.”

You stared at him, his words cutting through the fog of doubt clouding your mind. “You think he should fight for me?”

“I think you both need to decide what you want and what you are willing to risk for it,” he replied. “This is not just about love. It is about choices—and consequences. If you two want to be together, you will have to face them together. But if you do not…” He trailed off, his expression tightening.

You swallowed hard, the weight of his words settling heavily on your chest. “What would you do?” you asked, your voice trembling. “If you were in his position?”

Cerwyn was silent for a long moment, his gaze distant as he considered your question. “I do not know,” he admitted finally. “I am not Cregan, and I cannot pretend to understand all that weighs on him. But if it were me… I would want to do what is best for both of us. Even if it meant letting go.”

Your brow furrowed, your heart aching at the thought. “Letting go?”

He gave a small, sad smile. “Sometimes love means making the harder choice. But it is not my choice to make—it is his. And yours.”

You looked away, tears slipping down your cheeks as his words settled deep within you. “It all feels so impossible.”

“It is,” Cerwyn said softly, “until it is not.”

You glanced back at him, his gaze steady and unwavering. Despite everything, he wasn’t judging you. He wasn’t condemning you. He was simply there, offering his quiet support.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice breaking.

He reached over, his hand brushing yours briefly. “Always,” he said, and in that moment, you believed him.

The two of you continued your ride in silence, the Wolfswood stretching endlessly before you. But for the first time in what felt like days, a fragile, uncertain hope began to stir within your heart, subtle but undeniably there.

⟸ Previous Chapter ❖ Next Chapter ⟹

[alpirsoahpp]

so you keep going to classes under the threat of imminent nuclear attack and everyone is FREAKING OUT until the popular girl whos now the vice president somehow- why is everyone leaving school over this- proposed to the guy that was in the love triangle/polycule. he's now leading the military as they search for the terrorist(?) who just kind of vanished and he doesnt really say yes but its kind of implied that they'll get married so you throw a party but suddenly he's on the terrorist(?)'s side and DEAD and you're just trying to survive midterms! now everyone's gossiping about a mysterious little girl that fell from the sky and murdered a senator (who you went to school with too and was the terrorists sister) by accident, which makes no sense whatsoever! but the girl is undocumented and alone so no one even knows who she is and how she pulled off a murder! this wouldn't really matter but the terrorist(?) is obsessed with the shoes the girl stole from her sister for no reason. now all people will talk about at school is how everything is going insane and then the terrorist starts mutilating people from your school but she was so nerdy and not-a-terrorist when you knew her so you're really confused but so scared that she'll just nuke the whole school. then you wake up one morning and the president is on an indefinite leave, your professor is in JAIL, and the popular girl is in charge. you have to wonder if she staged this for power, but if the nerdy girl was in on it why is she also DEAD NOW?? WHAT. but hey, good news because won't get nuked, so everyone skips school to throw a party for the new president who saved our asses but now she's CRYING? why is she telling us a tragic story about the terrorist's childhood? they mustve been sleeping together, right? honestly, why is she even the president, she didn't finish her college education! where even is the old president??? WHAT IS HAPPENING

It’s so funny to imagine Wicked from the perspective of one of the normal students at Shiz. There’s this girl and she’s weird and an overachieving nerd and no one likes her, but then the popular girl becomes best friends with her overnight so you guess she’s chill now. They might be sleeping together but no one’s really sure. They’re also low key dating the same guy but you’re not clear on if it’s a polycule situation or a love triangle. Whatever. You’re just trying to study for finals. Your history teacher gets arrested and no explains why. You just hope this won’t effect your grade in the class. The weird nerdy girl gets a letter from the president inviting her to come see him. Wow, that’s exciting. She and her maybe-girlfriend go off to the capitol and you go back to homework and dorm room parties. One day later one of your professors is on the national radio saying that the weird nerdy girl, who used to be her favorite student, is now a terrorist, has stolen the nuclear codes, and is on the run from the government. You are still expected to show up to class tomorrow.

[mixingandmelting]

Hello! I was wondering if you'd quite something based on the bat boys (or just Jason) reaction to realizing they liked having a normal life?

Like they go to visit the readers' family for Xmas, but their family left without letting them know, so they had the whole house to themselves, so they got to play house. It was in a whole other state, so no needing to be vigilantes. Just them with their s/o getting ready for Christmas, being shown around and just living a normal life for a few weeks.

A/N: Hope you don't mind me not writing about Duke and Damian since they're both minors so legally speaking they can't really travel out-of-state alone. Plus to be real, I highly doubt Batman would want to leave Damian unsupervised considering what happens when he's alone 😔

Dick:

His whole life he was anything but normal, being raised in a circus and now, fighting crimes 24/7. Excitement, action, danger, and adventures are what defines him and how he had always dreamt of how his life would go on. But here he is, tasting “normal” for the first time in his life by spending the holiday with you in the house you were raised in. Snowball fights and building snowmen delays the process of clearing the snow. Not to forget the snow angels that are made once he playfully tackles you down into the snow after you manage to get more on him than yourself. Putting up the lights and decoration both inside and outside of the house was more fun than the times he helped out at the Wayne manor, while finding out shopping for anything during the holiday season is a battle of its own. Adding that to the daily routine that’s usually gone through on his days off every day,  it’s… quiet and peaceful. He doesn’t wake up to sirens or violence. He’s not worried about another mission, instead figuring out how he’ll get your present under the tree without getting caught. You greeting him at the door, placing a kiss on his cheeks that are slightly bitten from frost when it’s decided he’s moving the snow on his own makes him so fuzzy, he starts calling you honey over babe. The most mind boggling about this? He doesn't mind it. It’s hard to accept that he actually likes “normal”. He’s confused over liking a concept that’s completely foreign to him and with his personality, he won’t last long with living with “normal” forever. The happy couple/marriage vibe though? He’s on board and digs it, one-hundred percent. Especially in a house filled with childhood memories, it’s giving him ideas and changing what he perhaps would want in the future in ways he wouldn’t think of back then.

Jason:

Considering his childhood and how he went through the whole reincarnation cycle of dying and then reviving, it’s a desire he had as a kid but gave up right away. He didn’t even fathom that a day would come where he would experience what it would be like to be normal. Walking around and staying in the typical home most average people live in made him tense the first three days, even more so knowing this was where you lived since a child. Moving snow with you becomes his favorite pastime, where you’d distract from getting the job done and have him chase after you from the snowball that hits his back. Or bringing out steaming hot chocolate so his nose and hands would stop feeling as if they’re ready to fall off from the cold after cleaning up and helping you build a snow fort of all things. His hands are frequently on your waist from holding you up to string the lights and hang the decorations after you frown from his “aesthetic” way of placing them, pushing him to move aside so you could show how a real pro does it. It’s also his first time struggling to find time to get a present behind your back from being with you all the time. Eating meals together, taking walks together around the neighborhood and city, acting as bodyguard during grocery and Christmas shopping, spending time together as a couple in general in a house that’s warm, cozy, and peaceful as Jason Todd is a first. Not as Robin once dead and revived or Red Hood, the violent outlaw.  It’s a wish once buried in his heart on top of another where he’s spending time with you that comes true before the holiday. He’s emotional from being so happy, he doesn’t think of anything else other than wanting to live like this for the rest of his life.

Tim:

Contrary to the stereotypes depicted by the media, rich kids don’t spend time with their family; it's usually spent with their nanny as their parents leave them for long periods of time in a house too large for two people. Sure over the years he has healed with his friends and a new family. But it feels like a dream come true with you. He’s laughing and enjoying the soft fluffiness of white that gets all over him, freezing his nose and hands when he tries to clear the snow. He gets into it with you over how the lights and decorations should be placed inside and outside the house when you mentioned you want to outdo your neighbors, a set of blueprints and sketches drawn while debating that rainbow lights were better than the flickering, white ones. To much of his chagrin, he’s fumbling with all the things you toss at him when he helps you shop, him being in charge of the shopping cart as he stays in-line as you grab and bring back what’s needed in the store. Not that he’s complaining, his face suddenly tinted in red when you come back and slip your hand between his hand and the handle during the wait for the next opened cashier. Surprisingly enough, he doesn’t struggle with getting you a Christmas present and placing it under the tree. He had been keeping tabs since the day after Valentine’s Day on the things you’ve been looking at while relying on your habits he memorized to time things perfectly. Similar to Jason, he, too, wanted to live normally like any other person. Him getting to do that by prepping for the holiday with you heals the child in him, making him content and wishing the time the two of you currently have lasts forever.

[clarkeybabey]

❝ i wanna tell the world that you're mine, girl ❞

# summary; accidentally walking in on him streaming

# playlist; they don't know about us - one direction

# word count; 587

# note; something short for you. i have two part twos in the works but a Christmas special will be coming your way on christmas ;)

Arthur's been in your bedroom for the last half hour sitting at his PC, judging by the screams coming from the other side of the door, recording a YouTube video. Or at least that's what you thought.

You're in the kitchen sipping your second glass of cheap wine, standing over a pasta recipe you'd seen on TikTok, wondering if he'd be ready to eat sometime soon or if you should just put some into a container for him to have when he was finished. You turn the heat down, set the spoon on a paper towel, and place the lid onto the pan.

A knock sounds through the wood that goes unanswered, you follow it with an even louder one to no avail. Deciding just walking in shouldn't hurt anything, his editor knows you exist and it'll be cut from the footage with just a few clicks.

You step over the threshold leaving the door ajar and walk towards him. His back is obviously to you, so reach and gently slide a side of his headphones off his ear. When your fingers graze his skin, despite your effort he still startles slightly.

"Sorry, dinners ready," when his eyes meet yours they're almost pleading, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallows hard. Your brows furrowed in confusion at his lack of reply, until you notice the Livestream chat flowing so fast you can't make out but a few words.

Without even the idea of uttering another word, you turn on your heels heading for the door. Your fists clench involuntarily at your sides, the stinging pain of your fingernails digging into your palms not bothering you nearly as much as the feeling of your heart speeding up and your face beginning to warm.

Tears brim your eyes, anxiety making your skin suddenly feel almost like a pincushion. He's stressed so much about keeping your relationship relatively private, not that he wanted to be a secret but he knows how some supporters get.

The couch seems to be the best place for you to just sit and try and breathe through the panic attack that you feel brewing deep down. You let your head fall into your hands, the heels of your palms pressing your eyes so hard into their sockets, that you're certain if you open them stars would blot your vision.

Your mind is fuzzy as you try to even out your breathing, its starting to feel like weights are on your chest, in the distance you can hear the sound of the bedroom door opening, and gently closing, and the padding of his feet getting closer until it's just in front of you.

A strangled breathe racks through you when you attempt to speak, "'m so," he's quick to cut you off, "None of that, baby," he interrupts what he knows will be a string of unnecessary apologies, "You have nothing to be sorry for, I should apologize for making people finding out seem like such a big deal."

"I just... You did it to protect me, to protect us, I understand why."

He's kicking himself internally at how stressed this has obviously made you, "We've lived together almost eight months," his voice is calm, and his warm hand finds your cheek grounding you. The hand on your cheek tilts your chin up, his eyes finding yours, "something like this was going to happen eventually, please don't beat yourself up over this."

You nod, leaning into his touch, "Now, come say hello, they wanna meet you."

[rafesbangs]

was literally just reading all your work and you write so well!! new fav blog fr, i was wondering (if you're interested) if we could have some rafe x kook bestf!reader fluff, angst kinda one-shot story? thank youuu !! <3

thank you soso much ml !! ofc ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

req! 𝜗𝜚 kook!reader sneaks out to a boneyard kegger, & bsf!rafe gets pretty protective.

c!w; fluff ! for once, bsf!rafe, soft!rafe, possessiveness, overprotective guy friend, icky males, drinking, a brief physical fight, tiny mention of blood, mostly very fluffy with a tinge of angst ! notes; i can't believe this is my first fluff work lol ! i kinda wrote loads oopsie, i hope you enjoy <3

you sneak out of your house, careful to avoid the creaky floorboards. the night air is cool against your skin as you walk through the empty streets, the buzz of the kegger ahead growing louder with each step. it’s just past midnight when you reach the boneyard, the ground is uneven, the sand mixing with beer-stained grass, and the smell of salty air mingles with the faint scent of weed and sweat.

you grab a red solo cup from the keg, its warmth feeling strange against your fingers. your eyes scan the crowd, taking in the sight of everyone laughing, shouting, and dancing—people you mostly know but can never remember their names the next day. you slip into the chaos, easing into conversations, letting the alcohol dull the edges of the night. everything’s blurry, but in a good way, like you can finally breathe.

“hey,” a voice says, way too close to your ear. you turn, finding some random boy—a touron, probably. his blue eyes are too wide, his grin a little too eager. “you’re cute. want a drink?”

you arch an eyebrow, taking a small step back. “no, thanks. i've got one,” you say, trying to keep your tone light. you’re not interested, but you don’t want to be rude.

he doesn’t get the hint. instead, he takes a half-step toward you, leaning in as though he’s trying to get into your personal space. “oh come on, don’t be like that. one drink won’t hurt.”

you cross your arms and take another step back, annoyance creeping up your spine. “i said no, okay?”

he just laughs like it’s some kind of game, and that’s when you start to feel the frustration bubble up. you don’t want to make a scene, but it’s clear this guy doesn’t know how to take a hint. every time you move away, he follows.

“seriously, i’m not interested,” you snap, voice growing more annoyed. “go find someone else.”

the boy’s smile falters, but his hand comes out to touch your arm, a move that feels more possessive than friendly. before you can even say anything else, a shadow cuts through the crowd, and you hear a familiar voice bark, “hey, man, leave her alone.”

you glance over, relief flooding you when you see rafe, your best friend, pushing through the crowd, eyes narrowed and jaw tight. his presence has always been a kind of shield for you, and this time, it’s no different.

the touron boy looks up at rafe, sizing him up like he’s about to say something smart, but rafe doesn’t wait. he steps closer, his voice colder than you’ve ever heard it. “i said, leave her the hell alone.”

the tourist smirks. “or what?”

before you can even blink, rafe’s already moved. his fist connects with the touron's jaw, knocking the boy off balance, and the crowd around you steps back, forming a ring. it’s over before you can process what’s happening—a punch here, a shove there, and the guy crumbles. rafe doesn’t stop. another hit to the stomach, and the touron goes down, blood trickling from his lip.

you’re frozen for a moment, shock settling in your chest, but when rafe finally steps back, you see the blood smeared across his knuckles and the red pooling around his nose. it’s not much, but it’s enough to make your heart stop for a second.

“oh my god, rafe,” you rush to him, your hands hovering at his shoulders as you try to figure out what to do. “are you okay? your nose…”

he swipes at it with the back of his hand, but it only makes it worse. his eyes narrow, his face flushed with anger, but his voice is rough, like he’s trying to convince himself he’s fine. “yeah, i’m fine. it’s just a scratch.”

“rafe…” you trail off, frustration mixing with your worry. you want to help, but he’s already brushing you off, turning his back to you to walk away.

“let’s get out of here,” he mutters, walking toward the edge of the party. you follow, watching him, unsure of what to say. your stomach twists, unsure whether to be relieved that it’s over or angry that he’s hurt, again, because of you.

the two of you make your way down the beach, the sounds of the party growing distant behind you. it’s too quiet, and you can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong.

“you shouldn’t have done that,” you say finally, breaking the silence. you’re still angry, but your voice cracks with worry. “you didn’t have to get into that fight. you could’ve just-”

“and you shouldn’t have snuck out in the middle of the night to get drunk at a kegger alone!” rafe snaps, his voice rougher than usual, and you flinch at the bite in his words. “what the hell were you thinking? you know i worry about you.”

you swallow hard, the sting of his anger hitting you like a slap. “i didn’t mean to… i wasn’t trying to-”

“you’re reckless,” he interrupts, throwing his hands up in frustration, and you step back, feeling the weight of it settle deep in your chest. his words cut through you, sharper than you want to admit, and you stare at the sand beneath your feet.

“i’m sorry,” you say quietly, your voice small now, “i didn’t mean to make you worry. i didn’t-”

rafe stops walking and turns to face you, the moonlight catching the blood on his hands and the jagged split on his knuckles. he looks at you for a long moment, his expression softening just a little.

“it’s not just that,” he mutters, the words barely above a whisper. “i care about you. i don’t want anything to happen to you.”

you feel your chest tighten, your heart fluttering unexpectedly. you step closer to him, unsure of what to say, but then your arms are around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“'m sorry rafe. thank you f'caring, so much about me” you whisper into his shirt, the words soft, sincere. you feel the tension in his body for a moment, like he’s not sure what to do with this closeness, but then he wraps his arms around you too, just a little hesitantly at first, before he holds you tightly.

“don’t thank me,” he mutters, his voice breaking a little. “i’m just... doing what you deserve.”

but when you pull back to look at him, his eyes are full of something else, something that feels a little more vulnerable. you reach up, brushing a strand of hair out of his face, and that’s when you see a tear, slipping down his cheek, a quiet, unexpected crack in his facade.

“rafe…” your voice trembles. “what’s wrong?”

he swallows hard, avoiding your gaze. “it’s just… no one ever thanks me for caring. they just expect me to always be the one looking out for everyone else, but no one ever... gives a damn about me.”

you blink, heart catching in your throat. “that’s not true,” you say, pulling him back in closer, holding him tighter. “i care. i always care.”

he sniffles, his shoulders shaking just slightly as he pulls away, his expression softening but still strained. “dad doesn’t love me 's much as he loves sarah. he’s always telling me how proud he is of her. he- he never says it t'me. and i try so hard. i do everything f'him, everything to make him proud. 'm just invisible to him”

the weight of his words hits you like a punch to the gut, and you squeeze him tighter, not knowing what else to say. “’m so sorry, rafe,” you murmur, your voice thick with emotion. “i can’t imagine what that must feel like. but you’re not invisible t'me. you never will be.”

his breath hitches, and then, finally, he lets go. tears slip down his face now, the kind he’s always kept hidden. you hold him as he breaks down, your arms around him, offering what little comfort you can.

you both sit there in the sand for a long time, the sound of the ocean surrounding you, the night stretching on like a long, quiet exhale. finally, rafe pulls back, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“thanks for being here,” he says, voice still rough, but softer than before. “for… f'caring.”

you smile at him, your heart full. “always, rafe. i’m always here for you.”

when you finally sneak back to your house, you help him up to your room. in the soft glow of your bedroom light, you clean the blood off his hands, gently tending to his wounds. rafe watches you, the affection in his eyes evident as he gazes at you with a softness you don’t see often.

“y'always so damn careful with me,” he murmurs, his voice full of something unspoken.

“'ts because i care,” you whisper, holding his hand in yours, feeling the warmth between you that has always been there.

[wqnwoos]

mistletoe / lee chan x f!reader / for @bitchlessdino

On December 23rd, Chan decides he’s going to tell you the truth. The whole, entire truth, the one that nestles warm and aching in the cage of his ribs and sometimes forces its way into his throat, or sends swooping sensations down to the bottom of his stomach — that truth. Chan decides he’s going to tell you that truth, he’s going to tell you everything, for a number of reasons; for five reasons, specifically. 

reason one — first snow. Chan has never really been a superstitious person, but snow came early this year, and it came when he was with you. It’d just been another cold, dark November day, and Chan had felt everything but; he was warm and full and a little bit tipsy, maybe, but it was the weekend, and he was with you. That required at least a little liquid courage, to get through dinner with you and a couple other friends in some hole-in-the-wall, sat opposite you as you laughed under the dim yellow lighting. And then he was offering you a ride home with his driver, because it’s on my way, and he’d only grinned sheepishly when you’d frowned and said no it isn’t, but you’d accepted anyway. 

The snow starts falling as he walks you to the door of your building. You’re halfway through a laugh because of some dumb joke he’s made, and he’s feeling like the entire world is in the palm of his hand because of your laugh, and then you both realise snowflakes are falling at the same time. Chan’s not a superstitious person, but when he looks at you underneath the midnight sky and the floating snowflakes, he hopes there’s some sort of truth to it all.

reason two — his name. When you first met him, you asked him if he preferred Chan or Dino or something else and he’d never really had a preference until that exact moment. Something about the way you say his name has made his insides go molten since his very first time meeting you, a friend of a friend at a birthday party. He’s never fallen so fast and so hard as he did that day, seeing you carrying a candle-lit cake for your friend, smiling that smile of yours. Somehow, he didn’t make that clear enough to both himself and to you, and instead of making a move, asking you out, the two of you ended up friends – friends for close to two years now. Chan had thought (hoped) that his initial crush would fade; instead, it only became stronger with each passing day.

reason three — he almost has. Every time he sees you, it nearly slips; it waits at the tip of his tongue. He’s almost told you at least four times, barely managing to catch himself at the last second. Chan can’t keep a secret to save his life, and keeping this one has been the heaviest thing he’s had to carry for a long time. Of course, Seungkwan knows, because Seungkwan’s friends with you too, and he’s too perceptive for his own good. A couple of his other friends and members have suspicions, about some vague person he has a soft spot for. But nobody really knows, and Chan is tired of not telling people. He’s tired of not telling you.

reason four — he wants to. You’re the nicest person he knows. If you’re going to let him down, you’re going to let him down so gently Chan thinks he’ll barely even feel it. Rationally speaking, there’s not a universe where you make him feel bad about anything, let alone this. He doesn’t exactly enjoy being pitied, but something tells him that’s not you anyway. Really, this whole thing is equal parts hope and a desperate need for closure. An outright rejection could be better than the maybes that keep him awake at night.

reason five — which is what everything boils down to, really. It’s you.

And so Chan goes to Seungkwan’s annual house party on December 23rd with his mind fully made up: he’s going to tell you. He’s going to tell you that he’s had a ridiculously huge crush on you for two years, and he’s really tried to get over it, and he thinks you’re the most wonderful thing that ever happened to him. And somewhere in there, he’s gotta sneak in the Christmas gift he got you, despite you telling him every year not to.

It turns out, once he gets there, that telling you is much harder than expected. Seungkwan’s outdone himself this year, decorations strewn around the apartment he shares with Jeonghan, making everything look warm and festive and cosy, and then there’s you in the middle of it. When he arrives, a little late because of all the pep talks he had to give himself in front of the mirror, you’re carrying a candlelit cake. Just like the day he first met you.

His breath catches in his throat, and he thinks, just quickly, that he’ll never be able to get over you. And then he’s pushing the thought away, greeting his friends, settling in his usual place by your side. The same as every year, only this time his mind is on one thing, and one thing only.

He decides to wait until the end to do it; heartbreak isn’t particularly festive, and he’s sure Seungkwan wouldn’t appreciate the damper on his party. But the night seems to stretch forever, and the anxious pit in his stomach doesn’t help in the slightest. Neither does the fact that his eyes are constantly glued to you: you throwing your head back to laugh, you asking him in a soft undertone if he’s okay, you squeezing his hand when he promises he’s fine. 

You both end up leaving at the same time, and Chan takes his opportunity when he sees it. He’s been waiting too long to let it slip through his fingers, but when he’s face to face with you under the fairy lights in Seungkwan’s hallway, he can’t quite choke words out. He’s rehearsed this – multiple times – but the moment he looks at your expectant eyes, he goes blank.

“Chan?” You laugh a little teasingly at his abrupt silence. “Did you forget what you were going to say?”

“Not – not quite.” He knows what he wants to say. He doesn’t know how to say it. (I’m very nearly in love with you, he thinks hopelessly. The words don’t come out.)

Your eyes flick upward for a second, lingering above you both. “Look,” you say softly. He doesn’t shift his gaze from your face. “Mistletoe.”

And then you kiss him. 

this is for @bitchlessdino as part of cam and em’s a very seventeen christmas secret santa 2024!!!! surprise nana i hope u like it 💗💗 merry christmas to everyone who’s celebrating, and i hope everyone else is having a wonderful holiday/week/life.

thank you to @highvern for making the gift tag banners and letting me use ur actually the best. and thank you @haologram for making me post.

perm taglist: @n4mj00nvq @eoieopda @som1ig @glowunderthemoon

@wondering-out-loud @tokitosun @hannyoontify @sahazzy

@dokyeomin @icyminghao @smilehui @nicholasluvbot @lvlystars

@immabecreepin @hanniehaee @kokoiinuts @astrozuya @doublasting

@yepimthatonequirkyteenager @qaramu @weird-bookworm @phenomenalgirl9

@lightnjng @strnsvt @onlyyjeonghan @athanasiasakura

@iamawkwardandshy @twilghtkoo @yuuyeonie @lllucere

@pearlesscentt

@sourkimchi @porridgesblog

[starlightomatic]

I commented this on another reblog chain but for some reason it's not showing up in the notes, so I thought I'd put it here too, since it segues off of that comic:

I think the issue here is that if you're hated enough, any word for you becomes a slur. This whole thing... frustrates me, because the reason people think of Jew as insulting is because Jew has been used as an insult.

But like... it was an insult not because its definition was insulting, but because the content of the insult was that the recipient was Jewish. If you think Jews are dirty, you don't even need to say dirty Jew. "Jew" gets your meaning across quite well. And thus a name that derives from one of our founding ancestors, Yehuda ("Judah") gets warped into something insulting.

Worth noting that a similar process has occurred to words for Black people and disabled people: a neutral word turns insulting and needs to be replaced. In those cases it has happened multiple times.

Also, as additional context, in some European languages, words for Jew (including words derived from Yid, the Yiddish word for Jew) are considered derogatory and so the Jewish communities in many places use or have used other terms for themselves, like Israelite or Hebrew. The specific examples I know of are Ukraine and Hungary.

I think the odd thing for some of us in the US is growing up calling ourselves Jews and never thinking twice about it, and then it kind of surfacing that to non-Jews the word Jew has all these kind of negative connotations... and then the response of some Jews on tumblr was, as the previous commenter mentioned, to say that now non-Jews should not use the word.

But my response is like, wait a minute. Can we go back a second? Like, for me there's a real discomfort that arises from the idea that a word I've always called myself without thinking twice about is seen as derogatory or rude by people outside my community!

Like, I don't know, let's say I was cheerfully talking to straight people about being bi and they kind of gave me an "ew" face or a "that's not an appropriate word" face and continued the conversation by referring to me as a "person of multi-attracted experience." It would... come across as though they were saying that there's something fundamentally icky about bisexuality and that it needs a euphemism.

And so "Jewish people" has always come across as a euphemism to me. And since you only need euphemisms for something icky, it feels as though people are saying that being a Jew is icky (or awkward, embarrassing, shameful) and so they need some kid gloves to talk around it.

As in: "You're not a gross, sneaky, sniveling Jew! You're a nice, clean, upstanding Jewish person!"

Which only serves to make me ask "wait, you think Jews are gross, sneaky, and sniveling?"

It's not intended that way at all ofc and I don't think that's what's actually happening in most cases but that's how it can come off when you try to euphemize a marginalized aspect of someone's identity! It makes them wonder what you thought needed smoothing over.

In actually what I think is happening is that people are surfacing the fact that historically those connotations (gross, sneaky, sniveling, miserly, untrustworthy, subhuman) are attached to the word Jew when non-Jews use it.

I guess though, I had thought -- and do still think, mostly, kind of -- that we were coming out of that period of history and into a place where people don't associate those things with Jews and were ready to keep using the word Jew without those connotations.

Because I see where folks are coming out of respect, not wanting to use a word with insulting connotations, but the problem is that by refusing to use the word you're keeping the connotations stuck to it. If everyone were to use the word Jew in neutral and positive senses, it would lose those antisemitic connotations.

But instead they're staying attached, which means that then when I self-describe as a Jew, it's as though I'm bringing those connotations into the conversation. Like, hi everyone! I am a dirty Jew! And because of this I have started self-describing as a "Jewish person" in certain contexts even though I hate it, because I don't want people to be put off by my calling myself a Jew. Especially in contexts where I am trying to come off as non-confrontational, as though I'm trying to "soften" whatever I'm bringing to the table, though maybe that's its own whole thing.

And then one thing that's extremely uncomfortable is when I see antisemitic stuff where the person has carefully made sure to use "Jewish person" or "Jewish people" instead of Jew. That's just kind of skin-crawly in a way I'm not sure how to articulate, but I think it demonstrates that if someone is antisemitic they'll be antisemitic no matter what semantic shifts get pushed.

The impression that I'd had before this post was that this was an example of a pretty common phenomenon on this site is that a small group of users from a marginalized group come up with some sort of lexical discourse, present it as the universal opinion of that group, and then well-meaning allies adopt it and it spreads far beyond tumblr, and that it honestly was only a niche bit of tumblr discourse in the first place.

What I'm learning from the notes on this post though is the word "Jew" has been policed by non-Jews for many years, likely from before tumblr existed. Which really only serves to highlight the discomfort I mentioned earlier. It also reminds me of when allistic people say things like "she's on the spectrum" instead of "she's autistic." They feel that "autistic" is offensive because they see autism negatively. And our response to that isn't to agree and to ask allistics not to use the word autistic, but rather to continue educating people to accept and respect autistic people.

On that note, I'm thinking about the campaign in recent years to remind people that disabled is not a dirty word, and that people don't need to and shouldn't be trying to euphemize it.

In conclusion, sorry for how rambly this was, but hopefully this is illuminating as to why the shift to "Jewish people" is actually pretty uncomfortable for a lot of us.

Where are all these goyim getting the idea that it’s not okay for them to use the word Jew as a noun?

(Obviously depending on the context it can be intended as an insult/function as a slur, but it’s also… what we’re called in English???)

[reborn-readings]

What does your mind need from you at this moment?

Tip Jar | Masterlist TBA

Hello everyone! This is gonna be my first Pick a Pile, I'm so excited! I hope it brings you joy and healing 💜

This is a group reading, so take what resonates and leave the rest. Don't force anything if it does not fit. Remember that the future is not set in stone and that other potential paths exist depending on your movement through the course of time.

Pile 1 (Left)

Death | Rx Four of Cups | Eight of Coins - Ganesha | Ace of Wands | Ten of Autumn | Cycles | Metamorphosis | Culmination – Completion and Renewal

Pile 1, you are spiraling through a lopsided sequence of events right now. It feels like things are building, like trying to contain a windstorm completely out of our control. Change is happening, that much is for sure, but while change is life’s only constant, there are moments that make you ask “Is all this really necessary? Can’t we slow down a bit?” The answer is no, you can’t—the universe is so eager to put new opportunities in your hands that they feel like hurled curses. 

In this chaos, what your mind needs is not a sense of relief or control, but the assurance that you are not powerless in the face of it. Life is giving you a wave—are you going to let it roll over you and send you careening head over heels, or are you going to ride it? Change is a good thing—we often forget that in order to build upon our foundations, we must change and grow. You are a caterpillar ready to weave your cocoon, and only you know the potential you have. Who knows what you’ll emerge as? 

Your mind asks you to consider an opportunity that comes to you and to not guilt yourself for rejecting what you know is not helpful. Follow your intuition on that; don’t close every door that opens, even if it opened by the wind knocking it down. Consistent work will get you where you’re going. Fall back on your previous experience and build on it to bring it to fruition. There is an upcoming end to a material concern or success in a material goal, and it will bring opportunity for a new object of passion with it. You will create something wonderful out of this chaos—I feel the recognition as something making your chest feel full. The chaos may not subside, but with a new understanding of it, you will know how to harness and weather it. 

Other messages - Out of chaos comes creation. Change is beautiful. Satisfaction with financial savings. Bring your all to whatever projects you decide to take on. Having gathered what was needed. Inbox never empty. Kudos for a job well done. 

Symbols - Thick forests. Poured-out vessels. Circles. Insects or other bugs. Perches.

Pile 2 (Middle)

Two of Pentacles | Rx High Priestess | Ace of Wands – Ra and Kokopelli | Rx Hermit | Prince of Winter | Snowflake Obsidian | Dignity | Independence – Carving Your Own Path

Oh, Pile 2, I see the winter in you. Others might look at you and see the throttling of the edges of autumn and spring. You are more than that, but it becomes difficult to tell when everyone just wishes that winter would be over already. 

Perhaps you are someone young, or someone young in spirit. You have depended on others to help you make the right decisions, but when people tell you that they’ll help you make the right decisions, you often suspect that they want you to make whichever decision will be better for them. Masculine and feminine, withdrawn and social, intuitive or logical—these dualities have plagued you, proponents from each side calling for you to cast away the other. In particular, I see an overbearing masculine presence or ideal that interferes with your thoughts when you try to think about how to move forward. 

Your mind needs to be its own. The reality is, you are a lot bigger and stronger than the people around you. You have a commanding presence that’s a little intimidating, and thus, the people around you want to know that you’re on their side. You should feel honored! But at the end of the day, you can’t leave everyone satisfied, and besides, what’s the point if you yourself are never satisfied? 

I see you really benefiting from taking some time for yourself and your own pursuits. You have been wanting to study something or take a deeper look at something—your mind yearns to be enriched. It also yearns to use that information to take action. It wants you to have faith in yourself and your own decisions, and above all else, to finally make a decision. It may be daunting, but afterwards, you will be a sense of security and stability like never before. I have faith in you. Practice having faith in yourself 

Other messages - A strong foundation will keep you safe. Take pride in yourself. Take honor in your choices, achievements, and actions. Stay focused. Sudden or unexpected changes brought about by you. Head into the vault and stay for a bit. Have some fun in the snow. 

Symbols - Screen doors. Long tails. Something hanging from the ceiling? Searing cold and blistering hot at the same time. Roots in the air and branches in the ground.  Blue sparks/light.

Pile 3 (Right)

King of Swords | Rx Nine of Swords | Awakening of Wands – Eros | Rx Two of Pentacles | Prince of Spring | Howlite | Partnership | Miracle – Making a Difference

Pile 3, you are the master of the mind…aren’t you? Or is the mind a master of you? 

Keep on reading—it might seem unbearable to think that you do not have a cap on your emotions, your passions, your place in the world—but at this moment, your mind needs you to trust it. Think about it! When you’re using a computer or other piece of technology, you’re not the one going in and individually flipping each bit and byte to its correct position. It is the same with your mind—let it handle the secrets of itself, trust that it knows what to do to keep you being that same, wonderful you. 

Has Cupid’s arrow struck you? Do you find yourself longing to be that perfect romantic that always gets the girl? Now you’ve got even more of a problem! How are you supposed to keep tabs on two minds?! It feels like everything’s going wrong, burning down, targeting you. To get past this, you must learn to see your mind not as an enemy, but as a friend that knows you better than you know yourself. Go ahead and follow your mind, just for one tiny, unimportant decision or impulse, and see how it turns out. If it doesn’t end up good, then oh well, but if it does, see where it takes you. 

The world is a wonderful place when you open yourself up to its many possibilities, even if they don’t all seem perfect or ideal. Challenge yourself to take action and allow yourself to have reaction. You are a talented individual, and, if you let them, others will see you for that and want to be with you. Allow the rainbow of life to soak you in every hue and you just might find a matching color, someone so seamless and natural that you’ll wonder how you ever lived life without them by your side, that you’ll forget what it was like without them. And allow your mind to forget some things. It’ll just open you up to experience new wonders. 

Other messages - Shed the old to embrace the new. Close your eyes to see more clearly. Work together. Touch each other’s hearts. A challenge that you can successfully manage. Recognition.  Eternal work in progress (have fun working on it!) Love yourself. 

Symbols - Song. Walk with flowers lining the path. Obstacles falling away. Clear skies. Meditation. Pink.

If this was helpful, please consider donating 💜

Dividers by @/saradika-graphics

[riality-check]

In the odd, floating space between dream and reality, Viktor thinks of a wooden spoon. 

They only had one in their little house near the fissures, and it had been passed down to his mother from her mother, and her father, and so on back as far as a family line could go. At least, that was the story he was told when he was young enough to sit on their moth-eaten sofa and his feet would fail to reach the ground, swinging above it instead, beating infinite dust into the air. More concrete evidence of its age lay in its staining, in the way it smelled like spices Viktor’s mother had never been able to afford.

He does not know what happened to the spoon when she died. She died second, and the house was sold, and the contents of it became a feast for his neighbors, transfigured into vultures by desperation, hunger, want. Amidst the chaos of clawing hands and the coins too heavy-light in Viktor’s small palm, the spoon was lost.

He wonders if its new owner recognizes the marks in the handle as the work of his baby teeth.

Doctors were difficult to come by in the Undercity, and harder still to pay. Most of the time, they were “doctors,” and not doctors. But before it was determined (he always considers this in the passive, for there truly is no one to curse but nature - no, topside - itself) that any further intervention would be ineffective, his parents had paid many “doctors” to intervene.

And anesthetic had cost extra.

Viktor’s baby teeth scarred the entire length of the spoon’s handle. If he remembers correctly, he lost his first one prematurely when it had lodged in the wood more than his gums.

So when he stirs as an adult on his Academy bed and the first thing he perceives is the pain arcing up the side of his right leg and burying itself bone-deep, the last vestige of his dream is a shadowy figure - large, vague, always pitying - hovering above him and instructing him sadly to bite down.

Viktor wakes himself by bloodying his own tongue.

The warm, sticky copper startles him alert and upright, which is a mistake. Upright is… less than ideal. The pain crawls up further, to his spine, eliciting a hiss. It is electric, warm. Pulsing in time with his heart.

It is not a good indication for the remainder of his day.

He attempts to swing his legs over and out of bed, determined to grit his teeth and push through. Today, he only has one class. It is an upper-level physics course, taught by Heimerdinger, who is far more passionate about this subject than that introductory engineering course from a few semesters prior.

He would be willing to… cut Viktor some slack, as the saying goes. If anyone on campus would, it would be Professor Heimerdinger. After all, he knows Viktor the best, knows of his circumstances and story before the Academy beyond stereotypes and rumors, even if it is only the barest shred. He offered Viktor open office hours. Years into his studies and he has not gone once for anything beyond his academics.

But Viktor does not want slack. He must do what is required of him. He must learn. He refuses to give any of them ammunition in the firefight to prove that he does not belong here.

Keep his head up. Quit remaining silent. Jump, irregardless of the pain.

And where did that land him? With an immobile, agonizing leg at quite the inconvenient time.

His left leg moves easily enough with no more pain than the usual soreness. However, his right leg is locked from hip to toe, a result of the agony in his joints and the spasming of his muscles. When he attempts to adjust it, to simply rotate his foot, his nerves scream.

Viktor wants to vomit. But he must go to class.

He closes his eyes and gingerly hefts his leg into position. The movement lights his nerves up like live wires from his toes to his lumbar vertebrae. With a distant sense of pride, he notices that he is able to keep himself from crying out. 

It is a small victory that is easily overshadowed by his subsequent slip on the sheets.

His feet crash onto the floor.

And then he does cry out.

His left leg buckles as it should to brace for impact. His right fails to do so, and his heel takes the brunt of it, and the pain scrambles up the back of his leg and causes him to swear as his vision goes spotty.

Bite down.

When it clears, he only hopes that his neighbors did not hear.

Braced on the bed, breathing through his teeth, he spots the clock outside his window.

He swears again. This time, he does not care if the neighbors hear.

He scrambles to make himself presentable. Other students, those from major houses with fond, excusable reputations of drunken weekends and foolish trysts, can afford to attend class disheveled. They can wear rumpled clothing and sport messy hair and be laughed off.

Most students would be laughed at. Viktor, doubly so. 

He braces himself on the furniture of his dormitory, keeping all the weight he can on his left leg. His cane, resting near the door where he foolishly left it last night, glints mockingly in the morning sun. 

Were it not counterproductive and deeply irrational, Viktor would snap it.

Instead, he tears his bag from his chair and snatches his cane on his way out. There is no time to put on the brace.

The brace. That stupid, ramshackle contraption. It was the root of this. The device, an easily disguised relief, a facsimile of normalcy, had given him far too much confidence. He neglected his cane. He forgot his limits.

Running. What an idiotic notion.

He cannot help his bitterness. Simply walking in this state is… immensely difficult. His right leg has loosened up enough to bend at the hip, but only a fraction. Neither his knee nor his ankle will yield. Even with the support of his cane, each step sears up his right leg, sparking in blacks and whites behind his eyes.

Twice, he must stop in the hallway and swallow back a flare of nausea. For once, he cannot hear the idle chatter of his fellow students. It has been replaced by a high-pitched whine, twining in perfectly discordant harmony with the pain.

Distantly, he supposes that this must be very bad.

But he makes it to class. That is what is important. He collapses into his front-row chair seconds before it begins and blinks away the spots in his vision.

Heimerdinger frowns at him. He says something, but Viktor’s head is not in this classroom. It is inside his own body, in the pain that refuses to abate, that pulses and sears and spasms in his leg that could have been normal.

Later, he will blame his actions on the delirium of pain. He is, after all, reduced to his basest instincts. An animal, operating on conditioned memory.

Bite down.

Though it is anything but, he knows it could seem rational to his classmates. Viktor steps outside of his body. He watches himself open his bag and take out a piece of jerky he swiped yesterday from the school kitchen. He does not taste it as he places it between his teeth. 

He hooks his cane behind his knee. 

A sigh through the nose. A tightening of the jaw. An adjustment of his grip. His hearing has dropped out. The jerky tastes like old leather - and he would know; once, when the spoon was dirty, Viktor was instructed to sink his teeth into his father’s worn tool belt. 

At the board at the front of the room, Heimerdinger scrawls the homework from the previous lecture in his indecipherable script.

But that does not matter. What matters is making the pain stop in the only way accessible to him.

Bite down.

Viktor wrenches.

And finds himself, dazed, in the infirmary.

Read the other installments: 1, 2, 3, 4

[astrologysaysno]

You know what would be really fun to do, an AU where for some reason the PIDW world is randomly breaking into song and everyone is conscious of that fact but no one knows how it started or how to stop it.

Like, it's just been a thing in this world. Everyone is just in this state of living through a self-aware version of Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist.

I think what would make it even funnier is that when Shang Qinghua arrived at CQMS, the music suddenly switched up on everyone in the sect.

For like, centuries, the music people sang were of traditional tales and epics likening their plight to them, they would take poems and proses and accompany them to a backing that would usually materialize for the occasion.

Now suddenly there's like this great expansion of musical styles and genres and it has people in a buzz, wondering if this this was a natural evolution of the strange music mandate overarching the world or was this the fault of some great manipulator pulling the shots and deciding to add new material because they got bored listening to people sing the same epic tale for the millionth time.

(The true origin of this is that Airplane in his last life had a personal playlist made that he listens to whenever he wanted to write PIDW and now it has come back to haunt him cause HE RECOGNIZES THESE SONGS)

One of these instances first occurred with Shen Qingqiu (Jiu) and Luo Qingge, with Shang Qinghua as an unfortunate witness as it began a while after that awful mission that expanded the rift of misunderstanding.

Instead of some traditional oration of a story about rivalry, something new began to emerge.

It only takes the first few lines before SQH almost has his eyes pop out in shock when he realizes what was happening

... IS THIS WICKED?!?!

Shang Qinghua watches as the two perform a duet, the younger disciples of Bai Zhan acting as an ensemble as everything played out. LQG and SJ sang as they ran into the mess hall, everyone in perfect harmony raising eyebrows to every witness who hadn't been dragged into the number as an ensemble voice.

The moment the song ended, the two are immediately called by the Peak Lords of the Previous generation, dragging along Qinghua as they are interrogated about this new change in the musical paradigm.

The new mixes in with the old. Though the usual forms of song still occur, every once in a while, the new music appears to change the pace, attracting people with its unusual and exotic melodies.

Qinghua isn't immune to this phenomena.

Throughout his days when he became head disciple and then Peak Lord, he had never broken into song once, something that very much confused his fellows peers, who have at some point in their life belted a number or two. Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge had already over a dozen of solos each.

Shang Qinghua chalked it up to the fact that the universe probably decided he wasn't worth wasting a beat on and lived in second-hand embarrassment watching his fellow peak Lords air out their feelings in song.

But the day finally came when a song spewed forth from his lips...

...running away from Mobei-Jun

After the ceremony and the fight with Linguang-Jun, Mobei thought to leave a trap to his uncle, setting something on the steps to slow his uncle down.

Unfortunately for Airplane, he gets stuck on the trap as he runs away, Mobei-jun on his heels as the last of his strength is used to chase Qinghua.

The moment Qinghua turned around, time froze. Mobei-jun finds himself immobilised as Qinghua began to sing, his body frozen in time as his advisor belted and fluttered his voice, singing about choices.

The song ends, Mobei-Jun finally giving out as Qinghua runs away. Mobei-jun doesn't forget the song, and he understands what he must do.

[I have had "What is this Feeling" from Wicked and "On the Steps of the Palace" from Into The Woods on loop in my phone going platinum in my bedroom.

I made this entire thing from my delusions so uh, bon appetit I guess?]

[muletia]

𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 — [𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑] ⊹₊⟡⋆

[tfp] yandere!soundwave x human!reader

summary: when soundwave returns in a sour mood you start wondering why do you even care. why do you care about him.

cw: yandere themes, captivity, isolation, reader's pov, elements of stockholm syndrome

word count: 960

[part 2]

Today, there’s something more human about him.

You noticed it right away, the moment he took his first step into his quarters. The calculated lethargy typical of him was left outside this room, replaced with a rigidity in his stride. His steps were faster, more aggressive.

He also skipped your routine greeting. Didn’t point to the tablet, nor gesture at the books with his thin fingers. He simply turned his head in your direction and looked at you for a moment. Your mind instinctively jumped to the idea of him looking for a scapegoat—a piñata to channel his simmering frustration. But he didn’t. Your interaction ended with a smile displayed on his face. That was all. No aggression, no violence, no crushing or death. He approached the keyboard and began working.

Under normal circumstances, he typed quickly yet lightly, pausing now and then to glance at you for updates on the movie you were watching, even if only ten minutes had passed since the last check-in. But something must have been different this time, because an hour passed. Then two, then three, and the giant remained laser-focused on the flickering screen, inputting data you couldn’t comprehend.

You’re reminded of the early days of your existence in these new conditions, when your only entertainment was watching him work. Back then, he wasn’t so protective, nor did he pay you much attention. He was a nightmare—a cold-blooded, emotionless beast that stripped you of your life and replaced it with a fight for survival.

But that was the past. Painful beginnings you tried not to dwell on. You wanted to focus on the present because you knew something was up. Something must have happened beyond your small universe that shook someone as stoic and composed as him. You knew your curiosity — and especially your concern — should end there. You should revel in his downfall, take satisfaction in the misfortune that befell him. It was the only possible form of revenge, the only way to feel a fleeting sense of gratification.

But you couldn’t. Because you saw humanity in his behavior. You saw yourself. You remembered all the times you’d been unsettled—when your steps quickened, when you reduced human contact, when your fingers struck the keyboard harder than usual. Even without context, you understood how he felt. It was terrifying, humanizing your captor, a faceless alien — a creature displaying the most human of traits. Yet, you couldn’t deny it to him, just as you couldn’t deny it to yourself. You were still human; you still felt, still tried to empathize, even if the subject was a gigantic, enigmatic robot. That intrinsic part of you, deeply encoded in your genetic makeup, was reaping its harvest. You just had to decide whether it was a good or bad one.

"Hey," you attempt. Your voice comes out uncertain, betraying your internal conflict.

The titan turns his head toward you, startlingly fast—too fast for your liking. His sudden attention strips away the last remnants of your courage. As he looks at you, waiting, expecting you to continue, you suddenly feel microscopic, recalling the dynamic between the two of you. You wonder whether you should drop the subject, let it go, and enjoy the rare day when he wasn’t bothering you. Pretend you came home from work and were watching a comfort movie. But as he stops typing and gives you his full attention, you realize you’re a coward. Because deep down, you do want to help him, even if it’s just with one question. But you’re held back by lingering fears, the remnants of a survival instinct that no longer belongs to you.

He tilts his head and leans closer to you—a wake-up call you needed. Was your lack of follow-up really that concerning to him?

"Is everything okay?" you finally ask, looking straight into the center of his "face."

He freezes, as if completely unprepared for such a question. Your concern is uncharted territory for both him and you, so his reaction doesn’t surprise you. It only serves to humanize him further, to draw you in with his awkwardness. And you willingly step closer to the trap.

A thumbs-up emoji flashes on the screen, breaking the awkwardness.

You smile faintly; his use of human emojis has always fascinated you. And your giant seems to read your mind, sending you an adorable :3 moments later.

You feel as though a weight has been lifted from your chest, taking the tension with it. You don’t expect him to always be in a good mood, even though, for a victim, such conditions are favorable for living. But seeing him like this makes you feel better. Lighter.

He extends an open hand toward you, placing it on the desk. An invitation you cautiously accept. The titan gently wraps his fingers around you and pulls you closer to his chest, where you’re forced to press your whole body against him. Another novelty, another uncharted territory.

He’s unbelievably warm, a stark contrast to the chilliness of the room. The necessity of embracing his strangely soothing warmth shifts into a choice. Because whether you want to admit it or not, he’s offering you comfort.

Your field of vision is limited, but you see him return to his workstation. Two tendrils extend, typing on his behalf, while his head remains focused on you. One of his fingers begins to stroke your back, tracing soft circles, studying your anatomy. He lingers over your shoulder blades, subtly outlining their shape. It’s a gentle curiosity you can’t deny him because you feel the same way. You want to know more — about his species, why he’s here on Earth. But above all, you want to know about him.

"Who are you?" you finally ask, uncertain if you’ll receive an answer.

[aroace-madness]

Comfortable

Captain Marvel was a wonderful guy, friendly, caring, loyal to a fault and always cheery

Everyone loved him or at least respected him

The Justice League especially

So it's not a surprise when the Captain hasn't answered their calls and messages for a few days, they decided to visit him in his home city, Fawcett

Fawcett is a nice city, weird as hell and concerning at times but it had its own beauty

So in all honestly no one was shocked when a big piece of metal came hurling at the league the very second they stepped a foot in the borders of the city

Clark didn't have a chance to take off the ground before a woman in a silver helmet caught it, beside the helmet from which they could see her long Brown hair, she wore a red shirt, a blue belt, and gloves boots and a yellow bottom of a bodysuit that showed off her legs

She putted the piece of metal down on the ground and landed in front of them

“Hello, I’m Bulletgirl” the woman- Bulletgirl extended her hand for a handshake and Diana, who was the closest to her, accepted it

“Nice to meet another sister in arms, I’m Wonder Woman and this” she gestured at her friends “is the Justice League”

“Oh the Justice League, we heard so much about you” Bulletgirl smiled brightly “it's so nice to finally meet you properly, I apologise for the welcome you got but we’ve been having a bit of a problem for the last few day”

“Which includes flying pieces of metal?” Barry cocked his eyebrow, not that she could see

Bulletgirl didn't say anything, just pointed behind her

There was a gigantic robot walking through the city, it seemed to try and swat away whatever was flying around it, probably Captain

“Yeesh” that was Hal

“Yeah, Dr Sivanna started wreaking havoc in that robot a few days ago and we're trying to get him out without damaging the city and hurting people” Bulletgirl rubbed the back of her neck “we’re herding him to a less populated area and evacuating people from there to lessen the risks of anything happening”

Before anyone from the league could say anything, red blurr hitted the ground in front of them

“Ugh” the blur turned out the be a man

“Hi sweetheart” Bulletgirl waved at the man who was apparently her love “i see your ‘i can handle it’ is doing well”

“Oh yeah kick the lying one” the man managed to sit up with a grunt, he was wearing the same helmet as Bulletgirl

“I have the honor to introducing my dunce of a husband Bulletman” the woman said as she helped her husband stand up, his costume was very similar to his wifes, the only difference really were pants and a lack of gloves

“Nice to meet you” he turned to Bulletgirl “Do you have to call me that?” Bulletman grimaced a which made his wife laugh and kiss his cheek

“Now don't be dramatic dear i've called you far worse”

“True” Bulletman shrugged and dusted his clothes off “so, you're the infamous Justice League we’ve been hearing so much about”

“That's us” Clark smiled

“You do look like a bunch of well meaning people, even that shadow guy over there” he pointed at Bruce “dressed in black, cowl, long cape, gloomy demeanor, you must be Batman”

Batman just grunted in acknowledgament

“How are things going back there?” Bulletgirl asked her husband

“Oh, Voltage and Mary are evacuating people from a neighbourhood that Captain, Mr Scarlet and Ibis are herding Sivanna to”

“That's good” She patted his shoulder and turned back to the Justice League “so what brings you to Fawcett anyways?”

“Oh” Barry perked up “we wanted to see how Cap is doing since he hasn't been answering his comms for the past few days but we see why”

“Yeah” there was a silence for a moment “sooooo, do you guys want to help us out with that?”

Everyone agreed

Clark flew over to where the machine was and created a makeshift corridor from ice

Hal started herding the robot with his projections alongside Captain Marvel who waved at him and a man in a red turban

Shayera, Bulletgirl and Bulletman were flying around the robots head to try and confuse Sivana and IT seemed to work

Sivanas machine was slowly stepped towards a big, circular housing estate while Barry was quickly evacuating the last of civilians from the dangered area

When he was finally in a right position, Diana wrapped her lasso around the robots legs, Bruce did the same with his grappling hook

Shayera, Hal and Bullegirl started pushing at the shoulders of the robot while Captain Marvel and Bulletman were pulling them

The robot lost its footing and started to lose its balance. Clark made a giant ice wall to cushion the fall

The machines upper body fell on the ice and shattered it to about a half of it's height before stopping (Barry made sure to catch and put away the pieces of ice, before any of them landed on any building)

Bulletgirl opened the hatch of the machines head and took Sivana out, holding him by the scruff of his kilt while he was kicking and screaming, flailing his arms around

“I’ll take him to the police, Mister Scarlet is already with them making sure that there aren't any any injured or god forbid casualties” Bulletgirl said as she flew away from Sivana in her hand

The rest of the two groups gathered on the ground by the robot

“That was awesome guys” Barry smiled as he joined the group

“It sure was” Bulletman nodded his hand and putted his hands on his hips, seconds before he got tackled and putted in a one arm headlock by Marvel

“You guys were great!” Captain smiled in his typical fashion as he held the Bulletman

The man didn't seem too bothered by his current situation

“Do you have to do that every time?” The man in a red turban asked, tilting his head a bit

“You know I do, Ibis” Marvel grinned at the man, Ibis apparently “you guys were great too” Captain directed his attention to them, completely shifting his attitude

Before any of the League members could say anything else they got interrupted by two blurs, red and blue, flying straight into the Captain

The man didn't budge and just caught the two into his other arm

The red blur was a girl, looked almost identical to Captain, Mary Marvel

The blue blur was a guy, Voltage

Captain didn't say anything, just dropped them as they kept laughing and cheering

“Alright Cap, I think it's time for you to let go of Bulletman” Mr Scarlet said, leaning a bit on Ibis

Marvel sticked his tongue out at Mr Scarlet and eased his arm, letting the other man slip out of his grasp

Bulletman took advantage of his freedom and slapped Captain in the arm. Captain was about to slap back when Bulletgirl landed next to them

“Alright, Sivana is taken care of” she dusted her hands off and looked at the mess

“Yeah this is going to be a bitch to clean up” Ibis sighed

“Yeah, how about you guys start and I’ll escort our guests” Bulletgirl smiled

“Yeah yeah, you do you” Voltage rolled his eyes as he was already starting the clean-up

Bulletgirl motioned to the league to follow her, and they did

“Did Captain Marvel seem, different to you guys?” Clark his friends in a shushed voice as they walked trough the streets of the city

“He did seem much more relaxed around the other guys” Barry rubbed his chin

“He also called them by their names, without all these “Misses” and “Misters” he always uses when addressing one of us” Shayera pointed out

“Hmm” Bruce hummed, thinking

They arrived at the city borders and stopped in front of Bulletgirl

“It was really nice meeting all of you and thank you for your help” she smiled at them brightly

“It was nice meeting you and your friends too” Clark smiled back

“Uhh” Hal interjected “I got a question, you see, Captain Marvel seemed much more relaxed around you guys, how did you get him to let loose?”

Bulletgirl stared at Hal for a few moments

“Is he overly polite with you, is always respectful and seems like he would rather die than be mean to any of you?”

The League was left dumbfounded for a few seconds

“Uhh yeah” Barry nodded “how did you know?”

“Because he was the exact same way with us when he started out as a hero of Fawcett” Bulletgirl explained

“There is no way that's true” Hal shook his head

“Oh but it is, it took him about five years to finally let loose, you gotta give him some time. How long has he worked with you?”

“About a year and a half now” Diana answered

“Oh yeah, it’s much too soon for him” Bulletgirl laughed

“Maybe he does need time to get comfortable” Diana rubbed the back of her neck “how long have you been working together”

“Oh we’ve been fighting together since 1960”

“1960!?” Barrys eyes bulged out, same as the rest of the League really

“What do you mean 1960?” Clark asked in shock, he wasn't even on earth in 1960, he doubted that he was even in plans during that time

“Not to sound rude or anything but how old are you?” Hal asked

“Oh i’m 35” she answered, as if she’s not frying the justice leagues brains

“Wait, wait, wait” Shayera shook her head “ if you've been working with Cap since 1960, then how are you still 35?”

“That's because of the Suspendium” Bulletgirl said as if it explained anything. She must have noticed their confusion since she started talking again “Dr Sivana used a chemical he created, Suspendium, to trap Captain Marvel, Mary Marvel and Voltage in a force Field that would keep them suspended animation, something went wrong and instead of just capturing the three, the entire city got surrounded by the time bubble, as we call it, with Sivana in it. Captain managed to pop the bubble two years ago”

“Two years ago was when there were first sighting of Captain Marvel” Bruce pointed out

“Yes, the second the bubble popped, Captain started flying around the world”

“Wait” Clark shook his head “how come we never heard of something like that ever happening?”

“Oh” Bulletgirl rubbed the back of her neck “apparently everything and everyone that was trapped in the time bubble was completely erased from the maps and history books and only came back when the bubble was popped”

“That doesn't make any sense” Bruce sighed as he rubbed his temples

“Nothing makes sense, bat boy” Bulletgirl shrugged “now, as much as it's nice standing here and talking I really should help with cleaning” She said as she took of from the ground and bid them adieu

“God this is so weird” Barry sighed

“You're telling me?” Clark slumped a bit

“I think it's best if we don't think about it too much” Diana patted her friends shoulders

As they came back to the Watchtower they all agreed not to think too much about the whole Suspendium situation, it would only lead to a headache

They do like Captains friends tho, they seem nice and are good heroes

@puppetwoman17 @shazam-secret-santa

I hope you like it :D

[shiftthemoon]

reality shifting isn’t hard. you’ve been told it’s hard because everyone’s too scared to admit it’s not. they cling to their 800-step methods, their must-have crystals, their perfect conditions because they think that if they let go of that control, they’ll fail. but here’s the thing: the more you try to control the process, the more you convince yourself it’s out of your control. and that’s the problem. that’s why so many people feel stuck. shifting isn’t some big, far-fetched thing. it’s just you. it’s always been you.

we’re conditioned to think we’re powerless. think about it—school, work, society, all of it drills this idea into us that everything has to be proven, earned, validated. so, when you hear about shifting, your brain freaks out and says, wait, wait, this is too easy, this can’t be real. and then you spiral. you overcomplicate it. you make yourself think you need the “perfect” script, the “right” subliminal, or that you have to meditate for three hours while the stars align perfectly. like, no… you don’t. all of that? it’s fluff. it’s noise.

at its core, shifting is belief. just belief. no, really, let that sink in. you don’t need to “do” belief perfectly. it’s not something you master through sheer willpower. it’s something you already have. you’ve believed in things your whole life. you believed in gravity without needing proof. you believe your favorite songs are beautiful without needing to explain why. belief is natural. it’s effortless when you stop overthinking it. that’s the energy you need to bring to shifting—trust. trust that your mind knows what it’s doing, and that if you let it, it will take you there. every single extra thing you pile on? the overthinking, the doubt, the need for guarantees? that’s what’s slowing you down. not the “lack of progress,” not some mythical “block”—it’s you convincing yourself it’s harder than it is.

and let’s talk about social media for a second. oh my god, the shifting community on social media… i get it. it’s comforting to see other people on this journey. but let’s be honest—how much of that content is actually helping you? like, really? 90% of the time, scrolling through shifting advice isn’t inspiring; it’s overwhelming. everyone’s got their own opinions, their own “best methods,” their own rules. one person says scripting is a must, another says it’s a waste of time. one person swears by affirmations, another says visualization is the only way. and before you know it, you’re sitting there questioning everything you thought you knew, wondering if you’ll ever get it “right.” spoiler alert: you already know how to shift. you don’t need a thousand voices telling you what to do. in fact, the more you listen to them, the harder it becomes to hear yourself.

take a break. seriously. log off the apps. give yourself space to breathe and think. ask yourself: why do i want to shift? what’s stopping me? what feels right to me? no tiktok trend, youtube guide, or reddit post can answer those questions for you. only you can. and i know that sounds scary. we’ve been conditioned to think we need external validation for everything, but shifting is a deeply personal thing. you don’t need a step-by-step tutorial. you need to trust your instincts. that’s it.

and let me be clear: i’m not saying methods or subliminals are bad. they’re fine if they help you feel aligned. but they’re not what makes shifting happen. you are. methods are just tools. if you use them, great. if you don’t, that’s great too. because the truth is, shifting isn’t about doing things “right.” it’s about letting go of the idea that you need to.

so let me break it down for you. the only things you really need to shift are:

1. a desire. you have to want to go to your desired reality. no brainer, right?

2. belief. this is the big one. you have to trust it’s possible. no “what ifs,” no “but hows.” just trust.

3. persistence. if it doesn’t happen right away, that’s okay. don’t give up. if you’ve ever learned to ride a bike, you know that falling doesn’t mean you can’t do it—it just means you’re learning. shifting is the same.

that’s it. no fancy rituals, no endless research, no “perfect” conditions. the process is simple because it’s natural. you’ve probably done it before without even realizing it— the only reason it feels hard now is because you’ve convinced yourself it has to be.

stop making it harder than it needs to be. shifting isn’t this unattainable, mystical thing reserved for “chosen ones.” it’s something anyone can do. you can do it. your mom can do it. that anti-shifter lurking in every crevice of shiftblr could do it. you’ve always been capable. but you have to stop getting in your own way. stop doubting yourself. stop relying on others to tell you what’s possible. this is your journey. own it.

and above all, be patient. shifting is not a race. it’s not about how fast you can get there or how perfect your dr is. it’s about trust, intention, and focus. log off, tune into yourself, and let it happen. shifting has always been yours to claim. it’s not something you need permission for. it’s not something you need to earn. it’s just you, your mind, and your belief. always has been, always will be.