#its fucking perfect and im w e a k

[gyubasevin]

kim jiwoong nsfw a-z

pairing; reader x jiwoong, i tried to keep everything as gender neutral as i could think <3

rating; 18+!!! minors dni i will hunt u down and block u so hard

genre; smut, maybe a little fluff???

notes; not really proofread, also might make this a series for zb1 legal line?? idk the jiwoong brain rot is real bad for me rn so here i am. (ha get it) also sorry if my grammar or wtv is horrendous im not the smartest im just here to entertain LMAO

a = aftercare: what are they like after sex?

100% showering you in love after sex, jiwoong would refuse to leave your side until he was positive you were okay after talking to you to calm you down. even when he finally did leave it was only to go run the two of you a bath and get something to clean the both of you up.

b = body part: their favorite body part on their body and their s/o?

on him he loves his voice, he always knows exactly what to say and how to say it, its a h u g e flex of his and it takes every bone in his body to not let everyone know just how turned on he can get you from talking alone.

on you he loves your collarbone/neck area?? one of his favorite ways to pass time is running his lips along your skin, loving these places so much bc of how sensitive they are on you.

c = cum: anything to do with cum

most ppl would assume he loves seeing you covered in his cum most and while he does, there's nothing more he loves than HIMSELF actually being covered in YOUR cum. he adores the physical evidence of how good he makes you feel, whether that's you giving him a facial or creaming all over his cock he loves it more than he could ever say.

d = dirty secret: what’s a dirty secret that they have?

he secretly has a thing for spit i think, he often imagines spitting in your mouth or how much he loves the way you drool when taking him in your mouth, adoring the fucked out look on your face that comes with it, he thinks its so cute.

e = experience: how experienced are they?

he is definitely not inexperienced, i imagine he has only done anything with his close lovers and not being really one for hooking up at all. he might just be okay at first but once he gets to know your body, you will wish he hadn't. ;)

f = favorite position: what’s their favorite position?

100% missionary, he loves being bent over top of you with his face in your neck, listening to how perfect you sound in his ear. ofc knowing how crazy it drives him all you can manage to moan out are the sweetest praises for him, how he's the only one who can make you feel so good, how he stretches you out so perfectly, like his cock was made just for you. its your favorite too, so obsessed with him everything down to the way his sweat drips down on your skin drives you insane, your senses being overwhelmed by just him. (i know im down bad.)

g = goofy: are they humorous in the moment?

it can start out a bit goofy at times, but i think once actually getting into it jiwoong isn't ever really goofy unless trying something new you're worried about he might act less serious so you know its still just him, for the most part though no.

h = hair: are they well kept down there?

he keeps things trimmed and tidy but not completely bald

i = intimacy: what are they like during the moment, romance wise?

jiwoong is the s w e e t e s t during sex, making you feel good makes him feel good and he mostly there for you pleasure rather than his own. he sees sex as a very intimate thing and he loves just being there in the moment just the two of you, never letting you forget just how much he loves you.

j = jack off: how do they masturbate?

i don't see him masturbating too often, only if for some reason the two of you can't see each other for awhile. otherwise he figures why do it himself when he has a perfectly good partner who's more than willing to help him out!!!

k = kink: do they have any kinks?

praise kink - both giving and receiving praise can make him cum in seconds flat pleasepleaseplease praise him

voyeurism - he doesn't like to share but sometimes when he is alone he gets off to the thought of someone else watching just how well he destroys you, OR the idea of making you watch him touch himself, squirming in your seat cause you want to touch him so badly :(

l - location: where do they like to do it?

jiwoong is a simple man, he enjoys doing it in the bed 99.9% of the time, although he does like to do it in the shower sometimes if he's really feeling frisky.

m = motivation: what gets them turned on?

i imagine jiwoong gets turned on s o easily, if you even give him a certain look he is suddenly all bricked up and he can't keep his hands off of you, he's not shy to let you know when he needs a hand. his #1 turn on is when you crawl to straddle his lap, he loves when you take control even if its only a little bit.

n = no: what would they say no to?

definitely not into any bodily fluids other than cum from either of you, spit is good but that's about it. he also isn't into anything that would hurt you too bad even if you ask for it he would just kiss your lips and sweetly suggest something less intense i think

o = oral: how are they when it comes to oral sex?

he is definitely not bad with his mouth, but for sure more skilled in the hand department. his head alone is good ofc, but he knows how to work you just right with his fingers and mouth combined he will have you finishing on his tongue in minutes if that.

p = pace: are they slow and sensual or fast and rough?

he is a good middle ground tbh, its not TOO slow but its sensual and slow enough that you can both enjoy the intimacy of the moment rather than fucking into you like a wild animal (which he could also do if you beg him nice enough!!!)

q = quickie: what do they think about quickies?

not super into quickies, would rather just tease you all day long and make you wait until you get home since he knew he himself is fine until then. that way he can really take his time with you and on top of that he gets to listen to you beg for him alllll day long, its a win win for him.

r = risk: are they willing to go the extra mile?

the only big risk jiwoong is willing to take is being caught, like he loves to fuck you in the dorms right when he knows other members are on their way back or something but when it comes to pain for either one of you he is VERY hesitant, he sees sex as a way to feel good so he is more into praise and body worship, things like that.

s = stamina: how long do they last? how many rounds can they go?

jiwoong is the type to make himself last a loooong time and make you personally finish multiple times, rather than go multiple rounds he prefers to tire you out then finish :)

t = toys: do they own any toys? do they use it on themselves or their s/o?

he probably has a wand vibrator for you whenever he REALLY wants to tease you but he doesn't use it super super often, then FOR SURE like a pocket pussy of some kind for when he's alone, he l o v e s to send you videos of him using it when you're apart for awhile just to really mess with you.

u = unfair: do they like to tease?

tease is practically his middle name, he hardly will touch you unless you're already begging him first.

v = volume: how loud are they? what sounds do they make?

hes not afraid to make noise at all but really he is just a groaner, especially when he cums he loves to cover you in kisses and groan in your ear, unless you flip roles for the night and its you fucking and teasing him ohohoh he will whimper for you until the sun starts to rise.

w = wild card: a random headcanon for the character

tbh im too lazy to do this one rn... when i find some kind of motivation ill just post a one shot or something I GOT U!!!!!

x = x-ray: what’s going on under that clothing?

jiwoong is just average length and girth i feel like, 100% circumcised also you cannot convince me otherwise.

y = yearning: how high is their sex drive?

veeeery high, he could easily fuck every single day if you wanted to, he doesn't initiate it very much because if he did then it would probably just be overwhelming for you.

z = zzz: how fast do they fall asleep after?

he makes sure you are well taken care of before he falls asleep, so normally he will be up for at least half an hour afterwards, sometimes more if you just had an intense session.

[rockintapper]

the um

te sec2ond one, the thi3rd one

ok so basically i say whar i think about rhythm heavem chatacters. starting with Tengoku brcuase why nawt

readmore ebcuase this posr long as hell!!!!! please work this time

uh

karate joe: hi kasper the he <3 i wana hug him,

hair vegetables: what Thr fcuk

sarge: idk. attention march

squadmates: petar

air batter AIRBATTERR 💕💞💕💞💕💕💞💕💞💕💕💞💕💞💕💞💞💕💞

space umpire: perpetual smiler

the clappy trio: your sequel stinks!!!! /sillay i love your wigs

sneaky spirits: get bow and arrow'd l plud ratio /j

samurai steve: hi sage hes really cool actual6 #chilling

yokai (the thingies the samurai slices): pe uliar little cratures. up to no good

rats: thr cheese

ms. whiskers: THE FIRST CAT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

sick beats doctor/dr. cutlery: hes vibing ong. why do you hsve an endless game

thr viruses: leav that litlle guy alone >:(!!!!!!!

yellow organism (sick beats): little guye :) dj yelo

the donpans: theyre all dating your honor

yagura-chan: spiteful luttle child i love her. may she grow up and pan

mahou tsukai: hi rocket The WIZARB!!!! magic autism

ojou-chan: flowers autism

the monster (wizard's waltz): STOP EATING MY PLANTS

pengiuns (showtime): yhe dillays i love them they deerve the worl

monkey (showtime): i just read about him. gonna make him explode now

rabbit: boing boing boing boing boing b

tram and pauline/poline: hi cheese THE FOXES the foxes ever hth foxes ever the

space gramps: i widh he was my grangpa 💔 /j

space dancers: pa-pa-pa-PUNCH! put some respect on my boys plea

q maou: AAGH. AAH. AAHHG. AG

contestant: hi 56 hes. hes jist like me frfr /hj

play-yan: hi sunny i really liek. his uh level. minigame. wharever it s called its like. really calming. unless im Going for a Perfect!

mini chounin (power caligraphy): the dancing dancers

akai mono (polyrhythm): i uh. i dont have anything about these thangs. what

RAPMEN: YO. SANJI DESUKA

urakata aki to ki (bouncy road): my children. i love them. i would Kill for th

spheroids (bouncy road): you have a page? on the rh wiki? what?

ninja and the lord (ninja no shison/ninja bodyguard): augh

toss boys: hi ninety The toss bous. they hehheeh3he hugs ao-kun

yuka: YIPPR YIPEEE YIPEE YIPEEEE YIPEEEOEIRIRJ HI T YUKAIEJEBE ^_^ totally isnt dating a tall tapper shes totally not dating a tall ta /lie

giraffe: dont fucking look at me like that

tanaka (ninja reincarnate): AAHHHHHAHAHAEHRHDSHSHEHD /VPOS I LOVE HIM IDK WHERE THIS LOVE FOR HIM CAME FROM BUT I LOVR HIM

kanojo: ypure in good hands. mostly. (cant get the fast part of ninja reincarnate)

waru mono (ninja reincarnate): w,,ario?? w

soshiSOSHIIIIIIII SSOHIIIIII SOSIIOOII SOSHIII EOSBSISI SHSOHSHSIJSSOSHUSII SHSOOSIUSHISJS SOOHSIIII SOSHIII SSOSHISJEOWSHIWJEOWJWJSJSSJEJESK SOSHSISB SSOSHHS

cosmic girl: Rude™ (/hc). may also be the commander in amrching oerders 2,

cosmic dancers: space dancers HATE THEM! /silly

TH RAPP WOEMNEKENENNE kan sbejebdjeTHR RPA WOMRN THEJEBR YURIIIIIIIII JRIIII YUEIII YUIII!!! YHRIIII hi cheese

MAN-K: mN i lovr him hes so cool dud e whaha

biribiriuo (night walk 2): STOP ELECTROCUTING PLAY YAN 💔💔💔💔

usamimi maki sensei: i love the face she makes whe n i press a button too earlu/late. may also be cosmic girl

space rabbits: ive seen you in waroiware.... pets yu

buta-san (tengoku remix 7): pigy :]

barista: i hc his voice is jasmine wright's from the rh iceberg

people at the café: only (canon) black person in the entire series helooo

neko machine: meow. meow. meow.meow owah owah mah? mah? o-mah? m

honse machien: wha,

love-san: suki (cheering)

mr. upbeat: hi tomano tucking him in giving him a goodnight kiss and a glass of milk <3

mannequin; i wonder what game yoyll be in the futue

anata: hi 56 i love his goofy ass smile go girl give us everything

drum girls: wait whered they come fro

samurai drummer: no way. it Tsunk

samurai drummer's band: i did not know you existed hello??

oba-chan: protect. protect. protect.

pwner: Kill. Kill. Kill Kill. Kill. Kill. Ki

producer: who tf are you? what? wait lemme rrad about yo7 furst

im back. music autism

ok thats all the characters in rhythm tengok!!! thanks for Did yiu read all of tjis? zamn!! congrats dude /gn

[hanslandassecretgirl]

NSWF Alphabet with Hans Landa

....................................

A=Aftercare: he would absolutely take a care of you, he would treat you like a princess. He would give kisses on your hand,(he knows when he kisses your hand, you will blush and loves to see it)

B=Body part: His fav part on his body is his hands, i'm telling you girl those hands are BIG. But his fav part on yours is probably your eyes, he loves to look at your eyes while he fucks the shit out of you.

C=Cum: He would just cum on your stomach, or if you want him to cum on your face, he would do it. (But only with your permission)

D=Dirty Secret: Loves to control you. If you disobey he will give you a punishment. He'll spank your little ass (*wink*)

E=Experience: Look hes an old guy,but he's very well experienced, he knows how to satisfy a woman.

F=Favourite position

He would get on top of you, and grab your neck gently. He would never hurt you, for him you are so innocent and he doesnt want to break you/hurt you.

(He would get on top of you and yk)

G=Goofy: He's serious af. His first mission is to make you cum and make you feel good.

H=Hair: Since he's old he doesnt really care about it, but if you ask him to shave it down. He would, only for you.

I=Intimacy: I think he would be a romantic person, also if you are a virgin he would be a romantic and a gentle one. He would kiss every part of your body your feet too. (I'll explain this ;) )

J=Jack off: well, since he met you he doesnt really do it, maybe once when you werent home, he was so bored at that moment so he did it and thought about your perfect hands on his cock

K=Kink: OH YES BABY THIS MAN IS KINKYY. Bondage,knife, feet? This man is into it. He would love to tie you up to the bed, and would test you with his knife, he would put the knife on your body, but he would never harm you with it. As i said he would kiss every part of your body, this man would lick and kiss your feet. (I JUST KNOW BRO HAS A FEET FETISH its common tho many people has)

L=Location: Only the bedroom.

M=Motivation: He gets turned on, when you moan his name. Or when you put on his hat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

N=NO: he would never force things on you.

O=Oral: He loves to give you oral, he knows how to use that tongue on your little clit. But he also loves when you give him a blow job, with your mouth or with you little soft hands .

P=Pace: Oh honey if you want this man to drive you crazy, he would go absolutely fast and rough. ;)

Q=Quickie: Well, he would go really faster and faster to make you cum but also slow and sensual.

R=Risk:I dont think Hans would take risks.

S=Stamina: Well, we know hes old, BUT he would make you cum in a second, he knows how to satiesfy a woman, also he would suprise you with his stamina, 3 rounds? Or maybe even more who knows ;)

Toy: Nah, he doesnt own any toys. He has his hands, his cock and his mouth isnt that enough?

U=Unfair:This man is such a teaser, at dinner he would touch your thighs while he would talk to the others. Like nothing happend.

V=Volume: He's actually quiet, but you love hearing his little whimpers, how much he loves you and how much he's about to cum.

W=Wild Card: Him wearing his unifrom? Oh baby he loves wearing it while hes fucking you, he feels powerful in it. (#uniformkink )

X=X-ray: I'm telling you honey what you would see wouldnt dissapoint you. Its big but still perfect, you can handle it

Y=Yearing: Well, he wants to have sex with you so much, he feels young again but he loves it when you search for his hand for some touch.

Z=ZZZ:He's not the first one to fall asleep fast, he'll wait for you to fall asleep, he would kiss your forehead and play with your hair. (He loves you really)

......................................................................

I hope you guys love it, its my first time writing in english. Jeez im so scared rn. But i hope you all love it. ^^ if i did some misspelling i apologize for it and with my grammar too. <3

[mieczyhale]

"like real people do is such a dave x klaus song omg" In terms of Hozier songs, I think that Work Song also really fits them because like "Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her" for a guy who can literally see ghosts kind of fits

OHO H F U CKM Y HEA RTHWH A T THE FUCK

[winking]

🤢🙁🍔

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

changbin x reader | part three of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst for a lil bit woo

↬ warnings; talk of perinatal depression, cursing, n labor 

↬ notes; changbin babi 🥺  ALSO ITS CHANGBIN DAY WOOO ITS MY BABYS BDAYYYYY SO I HAD TO POST THIS |

u two had just freshly started an official, public relationship

ofc changbin was freaking out while he was chilling in the bathtub behind the curtain so u could pee on the test already

u two were looking at the line coming in, praying that there would be only o n e 😳

slowly the other line comes in, dark blue n clear alongside the other one

“holy fuck—“

“what do we do?” you asked, your voice wavering while setting the test back down

his hands cupped your face, giving u a soft kiss n hugging you

“we got this, we’re having a baby, baby!” he started to joke and yall burst out laughing while crying in the bathroom

the first few months were amazing

ur lil bump sprouted out n u two were so happy about it

changbin is just so attentive and excited about this pregnancy and his first born

u really couldn’t have been better with ur lil family that was starting to become realer with each day

u two r such bullies yall r like

“what happened? ur a softie now binnie!!”

n he’d say shit like, “well at least i don’t pee every hour on the clock!!”

he makes u cry one time n u use that against him everytime u want something bc he feels guilty >:)

cute lil things like asking the baby what they want to eat or talking to it before the bed

(changbin reads the baby goodnight moon one time and ur just so in love like wow 🥺)

he secretly talks to the baby when you sleep every night because hes waiting for when ur little bean will reply back with a kick or a hand

he is W H I P P E D for u n ur baby bump

nursery is already done at five months

he needs all of the boys to come over though to help him figure out the instructions 😳 these are co nfusi ngg

they notice how smiley n giggly he is when he talks about u two and looking at the finished crib hes just so proud

yall r so happy and content with ur baby that was an accident, but u guys are so happy this happened

but something changes within u

changbin notices your lack of interest in the pregnancy during ur sixth month

ur sleeping pattern was off n u would sleep for hours during the day and night

u were very irritable, not wanting changbin to cuddle with u or kiss u like he did everytime he came back from practice :(

u were always unhappy and always so moody, he just wanted u to be happy 🥺

he is so confused and worried ab u, some days ur not eating or some days u don’t even wake up in the mornings like u used to

sometimes— just sometimes he’d come back home to find u in the same spot, asleep

he’s so fucking scared when ur around seven months that he can’t hold it in anymore

“are—are you okay?” he questions u from the doorway, making u stop to look at him in the mirror

ur eyes were cold, setting down the towel u were drying ur hair with and leaving him by himself while heading into ur bedroom

“don’t you dare fucking walk away from me.”

ur s h oo k

he was really nice during the pregnancy everyday, super bubbly and kind so u were shocked to hear his upset tone

“i can and i will, i’ll just go sleep in another fuckin room.” u mumbled, changbin grabbing ur hands and turning u around to face him

u struggle for a bit while ur arguing with him and telling him to let go so u could go to sleep

“stop! i am your boyfriend, i am the only one who is going to care for you like this. i am the only one who is dying, seeing you like this. do you understand? we’ve been through seven months of this together, it was fine for awhile and now you’re fucking turning me away?”

hes shouting at this point, hes just so pissed after three months of not having answers and your attitudes and arguments, he cannot handle it

u start crying

hes quick to hold you, pulling u down to the bed so u don’t have to stand on ur tired feet anymore

“i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 🥺🥺🥺

he insists u two will find out n u both will get thru this rough patch together

perinatal depression, they diagnosed u

changbin is so upset when he hears the doctors tell u

everything is making sense to him and he’s just so heartbroken he didn’t put two and two together earlier

he takes time off for the time being to make sure ur taking care of urself

hes watching u like a hawk but trying not to make it evident

the first time u ask him for a kiss, he gives u dozens

he hadn't been asked for kisses in so long he was so relieved 🥺

he’s constantly telling u how beautiful u r and talking to ur bump about how they have the best genes and their uncles

this man is a father already it seems

he is ur #1 face mask partner cause he buys the cute ones only because u deserve the cute ones that r ur favorite ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

cooking together is something that happens, not often but every once in awhile he will let u do small things

cut up some lettuce? sure! pour in the soup broth? of course u can! taste test his food? always.

he wants to make sure ur comfortable with him touching u or kissing u or what hes saying

“i love you.” he’s mumbling, quickly placing a kiss against the fabric of one of his own shirts that was worn by u and fit u like a dress still

he then goes up to ur cheek n presses a kiss to it, ur hand cupping his jaw and letting him kiss ur lips >.<

also u guys let out a quiet talk of pregnancy to the public, letting jyp release a notice on changbin’s absence from live-streams and posts with the boys

u two received a lot of positive feedback which changbin let u read the positive ones n loved when u smiled at each one

u were overdue by a week which was the worst, ur back hurt and u had migraines

u also were put on bed-rest for the next week before u could be inducted

u guys waited out the week and u got scheduled for an induction

the labor was really slow which sucked because u just wanted to hold ur baby already :(

rly intimate moments like chan just holding u n rocking u like a baby

u guys are given this position to move the baby down, your knees on the ground so u could kneel against the bed and changbin would hold ur hips n rock them

he just feels so bad he can’t do anything to help u with the pain 🥺

yall kinda vibing with the hospital food (idk bout yall but some food from hospitals smack chile)

“i just want to go home.” :(

u bet ur ass he scoots into ur hospital bed, holding ur hands n u just cry into his shoulder

he feels like his heart is being torn to pieces when he listens to u cry out of pain

his free hands holds your jaw, making u look up at him

“we’re almost done baby, okay? i know it hurts, if i could i would take your pain in a heartbeat. you are incredibly strong and i’m so proud of you. you just need to hang in here for a few more hours, yeah? you think you can do that?”

u give him the weakest smile ever but its better than nothing

u reach 10cm!!!

now the part that wasn’t fun was the pushing :/

u were hurting, u were tired, and u had been promised almost seven times that all u need was one more push but no matter what, it seemed like the baby wasnt budging

“the cord is wrapped around the neck, we need you to stop pushing. okay?”

ur too tired and stopping the pushing sounded good so u did as they said but when they told u they needed to actually reach in and unwrap it ur blood ran cold

u both were worried about how much u could take

u screamed, god it hurt and it felt like hours of them twisting but it was a mere minute

the labor progressed n there it was

“a girl!”

u two are like faucets or waterfalls

shes literally the perfect mixture of u both 🥺

he washed her hair n helped wrap her up in a blanket, giving her over to u for the first time

u both were just in love with her, she was absolutely perfect

he’s obsessed with her, taking in that baby scent, the scent of the light baby shampoo and the bit of baby powder that lingered throughout her onesie

her hair wooooww its so soft n fluffy

her little baby pout and her puffy cheeks

i can see him calling her bunny for awhile as a childhood nickname

he’ll just be like

“oh that’s my bunny!!”

weird look from u but ur heart melts while he bounces her in his arms n gives her some kissies and running his fingers thru her hair

he’s also rly soft, i don’t see him singing but i see him definitely whispering to her about how she’s gonna grow up and have the best life because thats his little girl

“ur gonna have eight uncles, they are crazy but it’s okay. u definitely lucked out on fathers though, i’m pretty good at lullaby's. u did get great genes too, u have a handsome daddy and a gorgeous mommy. we worked really hard on making u, please don’t hurt ur cute little face. u also have a storm coming, there’s a thing called stays, they are gonna adore you, i promise.”

omgomgomgomg jejejejeje im blushing at the thought of this i just adore dad changbin 

u guys may or may not be planning for another but it definitely would happen in a few years

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[hongism]

Do you have any good ateez X reader fanfics Recs? I’m in need of a good long fanfic If not long Then a really really good one lol I just have a hard time finding some lol

BOY HOWDY IM FINALLY HERE okay but fr tho i’m sorry this took me Lightyears to do im so bad at remembering what fics i read and how i tag them so i lost my mind while trying to find them all and i’m sure i missed a lot of favs so i Apologize in advance asiodjfosijdf some are kinda popular so you might have seen them before but some do not get the credit they deserve and i could sit here and sing the praises of these fics and their authors for years but i won’t put y’all through that ._.

You can’t even reach my neck - @kpopscenario - seonghwa

summary: They’re best friends and have feelings for each other but they both don’t know about the others crush, Seonghwa comforts her after another bad date. (Basically friends to lovers college!au)

yes i am a Sucker for a damn f2l college au on occasion and this is one of those Incredible and Well Written occasions i love this fic and the length is perfect and long in the best way 10/10 would recommend and it’s great

such a good girl for me - @starrychannies - mingi

summary: no summary but the warnings should tell you Everything you need to know wink wonk skljdlkdfj

warnings: harddom!mingi, sub!reader, size kink (its mingi duh), choking, sir kink, pet names, mix of praise and degradation, oral (receiving), unprotected sex, slight overstim, slight humiliation (?), a lot of fluffy aftercare.

i find it Uber hard to write smut that is well written in all honesty like i can’t read my own smut bc i can’t Stand It i just think it’s awful but there are so so many authors out there who can write smut and write it well and i admire starrychannies so much for such incredible writing talent with smut yesyes

Alone - @actuallythatwaspromise - san

summary: again n/a but good lord royalty au prince san, princess reader, smack me over the head because i really adore this 2.2k fic and good lord this fic gets me emo and i dont even know why??? the angst is soft and barely there but i’m still over here sobbing for no reason oisdfoaijdiof

detention - @/starrychannies - wooyoung

warnings: badboy!wooyoung, goodgirl!reader, smut, voice kink, corruption kink, fingering, dirty talk, public sex, exhibitionism kink, wooyoung has piercings and reader is a Big Fan, mention of gags, light degradation.

this, this shit right here, this is so good WHEW i dont really have the words but hot damn, i just love this fic and i love love love the way the author wrote the the fic and it’s Hot:tm:

violet roses - @/starrychannies - yunho

warnings: F L U F F, college!au, s2l, first meeting, yunho is a soft babie, yunhos pov!!, love at first sight, pining, bit of slow burn, yunho is Whipped, suggestive teasing, hyunjin is mentioned briefly in the beginning, protective yunho, mingi makes an appearance, mentioned that mingi’s gay, san is mentioned, smut, softdom!yunho, sub!reader, praise, car sex, SIZE KINK!!!!, vaginal penetration, fingering, finger riding, penetrative sex, daddy kink, yunho lowkey has a corruption kink, multiple orgasms.

did i die? yes but only a lot. ahhhh i LOVE me some damn s2l slow burn and pining that shit hits the spot and this fic has it wrapped up in a nice and lovely package pls read pls pls pls read

lover boys - @/starrychannies - seonghwa + hyunjin

warnings: smut, wet dreams, poly relationship, boy x boy, non idol verse, ateez x skz crossover (yay!), harddom!seonghwa, softdom!hyunjin, sub!reader, threesome, reader is Needy, hyunjin is Sleepy, seonghwa is Amused, pwp, light somniphilia, dirty talk, petnames, some degradation, early morning sex, oral (giving), throat fucking, reader has no gag reflex and hyunjin is In Love with it, fingering (receiving), spanking (like twice), unprotected sex, light cum play, cum swallowing, little bit of praise, cuddles!

i really just need a minute whenever i think about this fic bc i highkey die every time i think about it??? two of my ults??? i can’t??? i really can’t handle this honestly like woW osdijfoijdfoi the way i melted we love to see it 🤩

entanglement - @sanduction - wooyoung

summary: when the boy who had explicitly spelled out his implausible hatred towards you on every possible occasion tells you that he’s a dog, who would’ve guessed that you possessed the other half of his soul? not you, at least. life sure had a shit-load of guts to pull a twilight on you like that.

okay so deadass if you know me you know that i really am not the type to read werewolf/hybrid fics. i just typically don’t go for them or read them but this fic. this fic. oh my god. the way it’s so seamless and works so perfectly, i’ll never recover like W O W i love this fic that is all honestly i have mad respect for all writers who do werewolf/hybrid fics bc i can’t write them at all, so sanduction huge major props to you i love your work!!!

who catches the alpha? - @teeztheflag - hongjoong

summary:  „You don’t want to break the rules, am I right?“

aka another phenomenal werewolf fic with alpha hongjoong that made me fall over in a totally great way. the angst the fluff the little suggestive bits it all flowed and fit together perfectly and i am still in love with this fic no matter how much time passes

bite me - @atinyidea - yunho

summary: vampire!au, vampire!yunho, vampire!reader, female!reader established!relationship / warnings! angry s*x?, biting, blood, sir k*nk, consensual s*x, teasing, begging, rough play, overstimulation

this fic is ~spicy~ and whew it is good wow just the idea of yunho and reader being immortal together was like awww then it got spicy and i went to o_o real quick but it is such a good fic and wow i love it i dont even have words bc im Dumb but wow

You Got It Like That? - @kimnamshiks - wooyoung

summary: You just needed to get through this week at the resort at the hands of 20 coworkers and Wooyoung; the Sales Department Supervisor who got some raunchy photos of you the day prior.

honestly wow sodifjoisdjf i love this fic so much i just wow honestly the reader is a whole mood when wooyoung texts about the pictures and i was reading like ‘ahahaa me.’ oisjdfoij god the back and forth between wooyoung and the reader just had me rolling legit i got flustered like pls wooyoung just HAAHHAHA WOOYOUNG IN THIS FIC GETS ME FLUSTERED AS FUCK it is all because tay is a Stellar Writer and makes those emotions come to life in amazing ways and i’ll never ever get over it just whew banter in fics is legit one of my favorite things ever and tay does it with such beautiful ease that i am Enamored but i am also Rambling just pls read this fic oh my god it’s so good

be my neighbor - @jeonginks - seonghwa

summary: seonghwa moved into the apartment next to yours, and he stumbled into a situation he didn’t expect to face.

wow i l o v e this fic it’s just a perfect blend of angst and fluff and it sends me to space every time i read it soidfjoidjf don’t ask why space but it just does i kinda ascend okay? anyway wow this fic is such a gem and it is sO underrated in my opinion. the dialogue is written so beautifully and with an ease that i think is often times hard to capture?? wow just amazing

Cheat Codes - @serendipityunho - seonghwa

summary: “This party’s boring, wanna get out of here?”, may have perhaps led you to make the biggest mistake of your life by sleeping with your best friend’s other best friend, your best friend who happens to be in love with you.

me: wow i never read college aus hahhaa

also me: reads a shit ton of college aus sodifjodijf

honestly this fic is 100% fantastic from start to finish, it’s 5.3k of pure greatness and i just really love this fic altho my heart broke at the end it still fit perfectly and was amazingly written ;-;

that is all i have for today slkdfljdlk however i will be shameless and say that if you would like some Long Bois for ateez i have a few but i’ll link the fics i loved writing the most and am v proud of :3

storge - mingi

liquorice and ivories - hongjoong

[starlesscitiess]

Hey chance what is your favourite water parks song

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO

yall better know by now that i could NEVER pick just one its just not fair okay

and i want to ramble so

my favourite songs from each waterparks album (+eps cause duh (not including 1 cause i havent heard it im sorry)) with explanations

lets go

airplane conversations

i was hiding under your porch because i love you 

i will admit this is purely for self-indulgent nostalgia reasons. it reminds me of fall out boy and fall out boy = 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 so yknow,,,,

S C R E A M I N G??? YES????

black light

night maps 

the opening is like ✨✨spooky✨✨ i love it sm

“shouldacouldawouldbeenthelastonesto bleedthefuturewhOoOOaAa”

awsteb,,,,,, voi cE ,, pr e t  t 

im a natural blue 

this is just a no brainer its so gOOD I,,,,, REEEEEEE 

i love the guitar smmmm

“i know that not everybody wants to be different, but this is getting riDICULOUS”

hehe futurey vibe w the lil bleep bloop noises

cluster

mad all the time

its just,, such a mood,, tired all the time? mad all the time? i dont feel lucky in here buried in my head? i feel most safe in my bedroom? so keep out of my room cause i think ive seen enough of you today??? same

would you believe me if i said the “ah ah”s werent part of the reason? no? yeah neither would i

it feels like exactly what its trying to express which is brilliant 

g u i t a r (god bless geoff wigington)

“oH wOah (wait shit)”

pink

the whole first verse is just,,,, perfect

chorus. also perfect

more electronicky beep boop :D

THE BUILDUP??? BETWEEN THE BRIDGE AND CHORUS???? YES???

dubsteppy bit 🥺🥺🥺

lil tiny quiet bit 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

crave

the drUMS (gOD BLESS OTTO WOOD???)

maybe just a lil bit cause of the music video 

gimme that blessed geoff singing content fuck yeah ill slorp it up 😩

THE ONE GUITAR BIT TOO???? LIKE SORRY AWSTEN UR TAKING A BIT OF A STEP BACK FOR THIS ONE SONG

double dare

gloom boys

maybe just a lil bit cause of the mv too,, (lord knows im obsessed with that fucking “slow down jellybean” line)

THE GUITAR??? ICONIC

BASS??? ALSO ICONIC

its just so goddamn catchy f u c k

i ADORE the way the chorus like s o a r s in a way i could never capture like yes u go u funky lil dyed hair man

“on my ceiling,,,, yEAH-”

in fact dont even ask me to pick a lyric theyre all gorgeous

stupid for you

listen,,, we know how that relationship ended up but look me in the eye and tell me this isnt just the cutest fucking thing ya ever did hear????

THIS IS AWSTENS FUCKING MOMENT OKAY I HAVE NEVER BEEN DISAPPOINTED BY ANY PERFORMANCE OF STUPID FOR YOU EVER

seriously i wish someone wouldve written this for me it just 🥺🥺🥺

GET THEM HIGH NOTES FUCK YEAH

ALSO??? VOCAL??? RUNS????

i am literally in love w the music video so i mean

royal

the drums are actually amazing help

THE CHORUS SO CATCHY FUCK YEAH-

“cause i worked myself to death, dont believe me ask geoff” *points to geoff* 🥺🥺🥺

RELATABLE AS FUCKKKKKKKK

nananananananana nananananananana

jfc ive already written so much

entertainment

11:11 

WHEN THE DRUMS START THAT IS LIKE A WHOLEASS SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE RIGHT THERE

this is such a great song to be sad to????

nostalgia for absolutely no reason levels are off the charts-

not warriors

i just love the way it starts it makes me so happy

this has some of the best lyrics ive like ever heard (yes im biased and what of it)

“but hey for what its worth, i think you saved my life” we just gonna ignore how accurate that is

haha nice reference to,,, your own songs,,

its just? so pure???

we need to talk 

its boppy but like in a sad way yknow??

“cause you shine brighter than morning... at least i thought you did”

the,,, th e ,, l i dd, ol g i g,,, th, e g i gg, le,,,,,,,

“fuck me” idk why i think thats so funny but it is

fandom

dream boy

actually just slaps. 10/10

but also?? the lyrics?? discussing an unhealthy expectation from fans that is built completely on each individual fans emotional needs and is therefore unlikely to be fulfilled for everyone??? A+ i love it

another example of the song sounding like exactly what its trying to express. its almost overproduced, larger than life, built to sound almost fake just like what its trying to condemn through sarcasm, especially in the video. incredible. love it. 

i felt younger when we met

“i said i loved you to death/so i must be dead” is such a gutpunch of an opener. hits you right away

the entire chorus is just great

HOO BOY THE PRE-CHORUS. THE F U C KIN G-

again an amazing song to be sad/have a mental breakdown to no i dont speak from experience what do you mean

the transition into cherry red is fucking genius okay

high definition

where do i even start

its just so perfect. relatable even if youve never experienced the exact thing hes referring to. honest, understated, emotional, heartbreaking. 

every single time you listen to it a different line hits you

yet another song to cry to

awsten was not lying when he said this was the best song hes ever written

feels like holding a vigil for yourself. 

overall just... perfect 

anyway that was probably way too long and annoying and you probably wont read all of it but like,,, goddamn i needed to ramble. thank you soooooo much for the ask and have a wonderful day 💜🥺

[artiesjam]

ginny and georgia watch for the first time because im terribly bored (Pilot)

RON’S A PUSSY OSJSNWNWN

i love this mother son relationship they have

ginny.

ginny this could’ve been a completely different time and place but go off tbh ‼️

is her entire storyline centered around her “struggles” as a mixed girl? PLEASE tell me this is not the case

i love maxine’s vibe

i just don’t care about marcus all that much

that’s the world’s most stupidest shirt ever aisiajaj

she acted like she knew the band. sighs.

CAN MARCUS STOP WITH THE SALUTES PLEASE

nevermind i don’t like maxine’s vibe

MAX PLEASE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

“was he on the highway? WAS HE ON A MOTORCYCLE??🤪😜🥰” when asking about someone’s dead dad

and there she goes.

i feel like max is my brain constantly

ginny being girlboss as always /hj

she’s really finessing the mayor into having lunch with her

okay yall seein what im seeing?? joe and georgia 👀👀

and then ginny sees her mom. hshsjwnwnsn

OH SHES TRYING TO GET A JOB.

and that failed miserably.

PEOPLE BETTER STOP PICKING ON AUSTIN >:((

ooo another flashback

im guessing that’s ginny’s dad?

he’s. kinda hot?

georgia ily

okay now we’re here with the wondertwins

max. i can’t tell if i like you or hate you

MARCUS BACK TF UP STOP

that made me so uncomfortable

and then again. with the fucking salute. im going to cry.

she stole his bike with the worst background music ever and then

KISSES HIMMMM?? ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

and then ginny once again screams at her mom

i get her frustration i do but she really needs to lay down on the teenage angst

okay so her card keeps declining hmmm

HAHAHSJSNSN SHE JUST STOLE

she looks so good my lord

BREAK HIS NOSE GEORGIA. BREAK ITTTTT

how the hell did austin do that with ONE hit though

what do we do to bees? *sends kid into another dimension*

HUNTER <3

i like him so far he seems cool

please ginny don’t lead him on i feel like that’s where this is gonna go

does maxine like women? curious question because based off this dialogue im really starting to question

LORD HAVE MERCY GEORGIA PLEASE–

can she run me over

CAR PICNIC ‼️

i wish if my mom threw me a car picnic

“nobody likes you mom”

“i like you.”

“she likes me.”

hunter > marcus so far

i agree hunter wheeling backpacks are the root of all evil

THEYRE SMOKING THE WEED ALRIGHT GWHAHSH

i knew max was gay. I KNEW IT. I K N E W

“i framed him.” WHAT

“glad you didn’t ask me to play with your balls” HGNNNN WHAT 😀

that hug was so awkward

joe was just blackmailed oh-

i don’t think that’s how getting a job works but proud of her hsjanan

he c l i m b s through the window??

WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS FUCKED UO LOVE TRIANGLE ITS THE FIRST FUCKING EPISODE

and i just know that hunter is going to be led on and treated badly

now they are making out

marcus.

what the hell js this dialogue

if i was the actor id be embarrassed as hell

im so done.

MARCUS IF YOU SALUTE ONE MORE TIME IM OFFING MYSELF /j

kenny what the fucking hell.

YES GEORGIA KILL HIS ASS

now that funeral scene makes perfect sense HAJSJSJS

what the hell ginny? what was the point of that

*angsty edgy walk away*

that was embarrassing ginny

so ginny’s mom is basically a world class criminal.

good to know

[yoichichi]

Bunny’s 200 follower event

request: omg hey babe i’m so excited- can i pls get one matchup from haikyuu and one from aot? whoever you think is best and not just bc you know how much i love asahi and hange lmaooo okay so i’m bisexual with a preference for females! i am an infp and a scorpio sun, leo moon, and gemini rising (and a scorpio venus 😳). i love writing and dancing! i love kpop (i know 😔), more specifically girl groups! my favorite is the group “twice” and i would prefer to be with someone who will listen to it with me! and i’m passionate about politics and playing the violin and piano! i’m rather introverted, very intuitive, very empathetic, and and i am perceptive. (literally described my mbti i’m so sorry) i am rather awkward and can appreciate a partner who is strong where i lack. i think i would like someone who is self-assured and able to assure me despite my severe social anxiety. i would also like someone i could extend my protective tendencies to, someone who would let me take care of them. i love to cook, clean, and bake (when i’m not being forced to) and would love someone who would let me do those things for them. i’m a rather physically affectionate person and i would NOT be able to be with someone who couldn’t match my energy. if they don’t enjoy physical affection i couldn’t be with them. i would appreciate someone who could understand my need for validation and offer it without being overbearing. i’m family-oriented and am determined to build a strong, healthy family with a partner who shares the same values. i would also prefer to be with someone who can appreciate my cultures since they’re pretty big parts of who i am! i am agnostic and would prefer to be in a relationship with someone not overly religious because religion makes me uncomfortable :/ i also refuse to be with someone who does not share my progressive views. if they wouldn’t be wearing their mask over their noses and refusing to eat out during a pandemic i wouldn’t even look their way. i’ve never had a serious relationship before and would prefer someone who has been in one and understands that i need time to adapt to it. as for a physical description i’m a little on the heavier side, i’m mexican-japanese, 5’5, have pretty pale skin, and extremely dark brown hair and eyes. i have a pear shaped figure and dude i have like no tits at all. i’m wearing a b-cup rn and i don’t fill it i hate it here. i tend to wear dark colors in comfortable fashion and i prefer modern/androgynous fashion. my pronouns are she/they!

a/n: omg hi bae!!! ALSO PLS THE KPOP PART WAS SO FUNNY and these guys better watch out before I match you with myself bae 😏 okok teehee pls enjoy ❣️ anon! Also omg this took 5 years I’m so sorry I don’t have internet until the 12th so using my data is a struggle 😭 okok I hope you enjoy!

Reading your request, you have been matched with...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Mikasa Ackerman

LISTEN I think y’all would genuinely make such a good couple

Any of your interests she will sit and listen to you talk to them for literal hours and want to combust cause she thinks you look so fucking cute ranting about it it’s unreal

Sometimes you do have to take breaks ranting though cause she just wants a kiss so bad but she promises she’ll let you continue after a half hour of making out LMAO

Her favorite position to listen to you rant about k-drama is with your head laying in her lap while you look up at her so she can play with your hair and still see your face, and it makes it easier to steal a forehead kiss or too

Her second favorite though is when you’re ranting about work and you get particularly frustrated so she pulls you into her chest and runs her fingers down your back and the sides of your arms while you relax

If you can’t tell I strongly HC mikasa loves physical affection

I think its just easier for her to show you how much she cares through little gestures of affection - and she’s currently obsessed with the way your eyes close when she cups your face with both hands and rubs her thumbs across your cheeks so there’s that too LMAO

Massages‼️‼️

When you’re watching a movie and you rest your legs on her lap her hands just naturally start rubbing at your legs and if you get sleepy she just leans over and gives you a kiss on the cheek and carries you to bed and is so <3333333

Ok but she loves when she’s laying between your legs and her head rests on your chest and you play with her hair, like she’s out 5 minutes TOPS and she does drool a little but it’s ok cause she’s cute

Whenever you play the violin or piano in front of her she’s just so 😍😍😍like she will happily sit and watch you practice for hours cause she just loves how pretty you sound and how she can just feel your passion through the way you’re playing

Ok at first I think she’d have a hard time understanding why you take care of her like she’d come home and you’d have dinner already made and she’d just be 🧍🏻‍♀️...... w-what do you want from me LMAO

But I feel like she’d get use to it really fast and always appreciate the things you do for her

Now her heart gets so warm when she comes home and smells dryer sheets cause you did the laundry already, or if she hears the you blasting music she knows she’s probably gonna find you in the kitchen cooking dinner

Ok but Mikasa leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed and she’s just smirking and staring at you cook until you notice she’s there?

🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️ WHew

Omg she loves being your little taste tester while you cook and will sometimes just wait around the kitchen like 😶 until you offer her a bite and then she acts all surprised like 😯🤭 I mean ok 🤗

Ok ms quiet feet loves scaring you sorry LMAO

BUT ITS NEVER IN A teehee GOT YOU WAY

She just knows she walks quiet and she loves when she walks into a room you’re already in and you jump a little and clutch your chest she just thinks it’s the cutest thing ever

She’s one of the most appreciative people of you and adores everything about you 🖤🖤

Your vibe reminds me of...

Another suitable match for you would be...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Iwaizumi Hajime

No cause LISTEN

THis man sees you and his knees are WEAK

Idk what it is but I just know that you’re his type like

Smth about your androgynous dark fashion catches his eye

Like he deadass watches walk across whatever room you’re in like 👁👄👁 and it’s so obvious too and you’re sweating like 👀 what’s this mf WANT

And he’s a bold mf too

Straight up just goes up to you and asks for your number yes he’s getting really sweaty and definitely is stuttering and walks away feeling 🥴

But when you text him back he is so !!!!!

Okok onto the relationship sheesh

He is so patient and understanding with you it’s unreal

The type mf to make you think like,,, damn people like this exist?

The first date y’all go on he even asks if you’re ok with him holding your hand and when you say yes he literally smiles and goes “cool :)” and his hands are so warm and big compared to yours and he keeps your hand for most of the date after that lolol

Ok but listen

Y’all went to Walmart once to get some much needed groceries and this old guy wasn’t wearing his mask right, like it wasn’t covering his nose, and iwa just s t a r e d at him like 🧍🏻

And when the guy was like ???

He went “I’m just trying to figure out how stupid you must be to not know masks cover your nose, too. 😐.”

You had to get Iwa out of the aisle before he almost got into a literal physical altercation with an elderly man LMAO

But He was like :/ I’m sorry I was dramatic inside I just didn’t like it :/ once you got in the car and he was embarrassed so much for saying something to the guy ajsksdjwij

He lets you blast whatever you want on the aux when y’all are driving even if he hates what you’re playing 😭 and he would NEVER be caught dead admitting he doesn’t like what you’re playing cause you like it so much but sometimes a song comes on and he just shoots you a side look like 👀 oh nice nice LMAO

You made him breakfast once and he cried

Like he came out and you were dishing up his plate and he just went 😐😖🥲 t-thanks

He denies it to this day though

He lovvveesss making dinner with you

It’s his perfect destresser after a bad day :(((

He loves it when you fall asleep on him too like he naps with you on accident all the time cause he’s just so big and warm and when you fall asleep on him he gets so lovey and cozy that he just dozes off and at this point he just doesn’t care about his sleep schedule anymore 😭

He’s your big ol cuddle bug :)

Your vibe reminds me of...

ongomgomg im sorry this took so long 😭 I hope you like your pairings and I can’t wait to hear from you 🥺🤲🏼

And to everyone else waiting I’m finally able to start writing again but I still won’t have internet for almost another week so they might be pushed out slowly but I’m going as fast as I can 😭❣️

Love y’all!

-🐇out

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD IS A BAND-AID FIX

gearbox locked zane’s lazy fix behind a paywall

tl;dr: for the love of god, the seein’ dead class mod should be what the seein’ red capstone is and vice versa. also. MORE SYNERGY. also i redesigned all of Zane’s trees and augments for more synergy you’re welcome.

is 1am and i don’t want tomorrow and im angry and thinking about borderlands so this seems like the perfect time to immerse myself in remaking Zane’s skill trees (for the 5th time). mainly because some of zane’s skills are still irking me and i’ve written extensive essays for the bl3 subreddit about the seein’ dead class mod and just playing around with zane’s skills in general, but i don’t think i’ve ever posted here before about it. so here we are. i notice i usually save lore/theories/characterizations for this blog and meta/balancing/gear talk for reddit. not sure why that’s a split for me. 

now i’ve remade zane’s skills a number of times, but honestly this was all before the seein’ dead mod was released. then, instead of fixing his skill trees, i wrote a lot of essays about why that mod was a terrible bad decision on gearbox’s part (you can read one of the shorter arguments in a comment from 5 months ago here). I’m just gonna remake the skill trees now with all his current abilities in mind.this post really should be titled: ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR BALANCING DECISIONS

so imma just talk for a bit about why i love/hate the seein’ dead class mod. 

Obviously it’s a god tier mod, and you see almost no zane builds without it, and no top tier, can solo m10 true takedown builds without it (unless ur like, the 1% of masochistic players, in which case i salute you). and while that obviously means its a good mod, it also shows the problems with all his other class mods and his skill trees in general.

They all kinda suck. and that wouldn’t be a problem, bc, hey, the seein’ dead mod is ez to get, just pop on over to the casino and kill a few baddies and they’ll  drop like candy. Which is really awesome!

slight problem.

the dlc is locked behind a PAYWALL

now this is a problem because if zane was a top tier character BEFORE the dlc, and everything was hunky dory and people weren’t on their knees begging for gearbox to fix Zane, then him getting a new badass class mod wouldn’t be such a big deal. but the problem was this was gearbox’s solution to giving Zane a buff.

they literally locked a buff for a character behind a pay wall.

I recommend Zane is every single person I try to convince to play bl3, but i always have to add this like, commercial-esque asterisk. you know, terms and conditions or, side effects or whatever. *you probably want to get the seein’ dead mod if you’re looking at end-game play because unless you wanna struggle that’s his only viable play style.

what if they don’t want to buy the dlc?! for real...

There’s also the point that this class mod makes his (arguably) BEST capstone obsolete. so we have distributed denial which literally no one uses because its broken, double barrel which is always traded for seein’ red or more points in other skills, and seein’ red, WHICH WAS MADE USELESS BY THIS CLASS MOD

gsfdhjikdhgdaskjfhgaskdfjh

okay and it wouldn’t even be so bad

IF THEY DIDN’T CHANGE HIS ENTIRE SKILL SET BEFORE RELEASE

like they lowered ALL his kill skills, then they turned Seein’ Red into his capstone instead of Death Follows Close, meaning they nerfed Death Follows Close so it could fit as just a game changer. my poor boy was g u t t e d.

so, imagine this, everyone is reaching the end-game content of bl3. it’s a month or 2 weeks or whatever after the game dropped and people are finally hitting level 50. and moze/fl4k/amara are all killin’ it, and the zane players have to work their ASSES off to do like... 50% of that damage output (now, they did also eventually nerf the crap outta moze and fl4k but the point stands). 

so instead of gearbox going: “oh... shit that pre-release nerf was an awful idea, revert the changes guys” they decided to keep him gutted and then they released what was, in my opinion, a kick in the nuts with the maliwan takedown (aka the antifreeze mod, alongside the spiritual driver) ahahahahahaha. what good times it was. (I say this sarcastically.) 

man i remember people were soooo livid with that class mod release. well, both of them. zane mains were pissed off (for good reason). “yes, let’s make the people who are begging for a straight damage increase jump through MORE hoops (LITERALLY) for a pitiful amount of damage. oh, also, let’s give their 28 skill point build to the strongest character in the game for free and also make it 10x better”. because it was 10x better than violent momentum (driver didn’t have a damage cap) until they fixed both the spiritual driver and the violent momentum skill. it was the worst of times.

i will note here they did, around this time, let zane have stackable kill skills, but it was only 2 stacks and also it was still *incredibly* difficult to achieve stacks because zane just. struggled to kill anything. I still remember when i grinded the shit outta an antifreeze class mod and it took me over 20 minutes to kill Wotan my first time solo on m4. Not the fight UP to wotan. literally. just killing wotan.

then the seein’ dead mod dropped and i had. a fuckin. 15 minute decrease to my time on killing wotan (5 minutes!!!!). now i am not perfect, and i 100% believe i could’ve lowered the time even more. but that... that shows a VERY CLEAR problem.

they never actually fixed zane, they gave him a class mod that’s stupid OP just to make sure he could hang on next to the other Vault Hunters. it’s just a bandaid fix. you remove the class mod, and he’s back to pre-jackpot power levels (which will NOT hold up at m10, let me tell you). 

all his pre-jackpot problems are still here, and that’s why people are not using any other class mod of his. I bet we could have some really fun builds with the conductor mod! but nobody will ever use it because it’s just... not even close to the seein’ dead mod.

So what does the seein’ dead mod do that makes Zane so good?

IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO PRE-RELEASE VALUES

this mod, plus Death Follows Close, brings Zane back to pre-release zane. and i don’t understand how gearbox isn’t putting two and two together and going “Oh.”

it also is a BETTER VERSION of Seein’ Red!!! something players could have had at, like, level 15, but instead had to wait until they hit a capstone! the capstone is completely obsolete at this point. There is nothing seein’ red can give you that seein’ dead doesn’t do but better. Getting that capstone is a w a s t e of skill points.

AND they locked this fix behind a pay wall!!! i cannot say that enough. you don’t wanna get the handsome jackpot dlc?? guess u don’t wanna play zane at endgame then. too bad, so sad.

have i stated that enough? because it still blows my fuckin mind. THEY LOCKED A CHARACTER FIX BEHIND A PAYWALL

djhdgakjhakjdah. imagine playing without any prior knowledge and being like, aw man i love this zane character. can’t wait to get to max mayhem end game like all my favorite youtubers and friends!! then finding out you gotta drop 15 bucks or whatever it is just to actually be able to play at max mayhem level. that is not a skill difference, that is A BALANCING PROBLEM MY DUDES. like. my favorite zer0 build was still viable without the story DLCs. obviously grog > rubi, pimp > lyuda, rapier > law but, it was still fuckin viable.

guh. gufhgufhsdgkfjsdh. it bothers me.

ok so there’s a lot i just went over: my main issue? is that by making Seein’ Red a capstone, they did nothing to make it an actual legit capstone. They definitely nerfed Death Followed Close to make it a gamechanger, but they never gave Seein’ Red a buff to move it from a gamechanger to a capstone. It was the same exact skill. Seein’ Dead is what Seein’ Red SHOULD be and that’s what angers the crap outta me. they locked this obvious fix behind a pay wall (AND a gear slot!!!!!) n ur probably thinking ‘but cruddy this WAS really nice of them to try and fix zane... they could’ve just let him be suuc’ and like, yeah, they could’ve, and it is good they’re TRYING, but also, they’re leaving the people who DON’T buy the DLC high and dry.

keep in mind i DO own the dlc. have the season pass and everything. IM STILL MAD!!!

Zane should be strong no matter what class mod the players want to use. Same with Amara, same with Moze, same with Fl4k. FFS, it is not that hard. CHANGE THEIR SKILLS!!!!!

so im gonna be taking the time to go over all of zane’s skills and shit just to put him more on par with the others (WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD)

imagine the seein’ dead mod doesn’t exist for this. we’re gonna make a balanced character since apparently THAT’S TOO HARD FOR A TRIPLE-A BALANCING TEAM

first things first, the tree with the most fuckin problems: 

Under Cover

oh god this tree is a fucking train wreck what the hell were they thinking. good god. my eyes. they’re burning.

not actually, but it still kinda sucks.

Action Skill: Barrier is fine. I would not add the ‘picking it up decreases benefits’ when Zane’s whole schtick is running around fast. You get the full bonus no matter what form it’s in. also, you can hold down the action skill activation button to deploy the barrier directly on yourself.

Tier 1: Hearty Stock is a trap. never get this. so dumb. no synergy with his other skills. Adrenaline is okay, but not really great during end game. Ready For Action is similarly okay. Just a very MEH start to this tree. 

Adrenaline: Zane gains increased Action Skill Cooldown Rate. 10% per level, up to 50%. this shouldn’t be tied to his shields being full because if your barrier is down (cooling DOWN)... your shield is taking damage. c’mon now. THINK GEARBOX T H I N K

Hearty Stock: (maxed) Zane and his clone gain 5% magazine regeneration while an action skill is active. This skill stacks. In it’s original state, this skill is such a trap skill. for real.

Ready For Action: i mean, it’s fine. We’ll keep it. +30% shield recharge rate and -29% (why????) recharge delay

Tier 2: ech. Stiff Upper Lip is not that good. Brain freeze is what u really want. Rise to the Occasion is also okay.

Brain Freeze: keep the same.

Stiff Upper Lip: when Zane is damaged with a hit that would break his shield, he gains (max) +20% bonus gun damage on his next shot through the barrier.

Rise to the Occasion: Zane and his clone gain health regeneration. +5% max health/s. Not determined by shield availability.

Tier 3: `screams in confident competence` oh lawd. this skill is good. the accuracy thing is kinda laughable. i tell you, i always thought that zane was originally meant to be the sniper with the Under Cover tree but they decided to swap Zane and Fl4k’s skills. which is why Zane has soooo many accuracy buffs.

Confident Competence: fine the way it is. I would also add, since this IS a game changer, that the Barrier’s damage amp is now 40%.

Tier 4: ew. tier 4. Really Expensive Jacket is literally the only skill you might want to get and EVEN THEN. ugh. Best Served Cold is so pointless. and so is Futility Belt. YOU TAKE MORE DAMAGE WITH IT

Really Expensive Jacket: Elemental Status Effects have reduced duration (-50%). Additionally, Zane is not slowed by Cryo anymore.

Best Served Cold: Remove the cooldown. Buff up the damage at least 200%. Make it an AOE Brain Freeze. That is, the cryo novas stack and if overkill damage is high enough, enemies hit with the novas freeze. Kinda like a discount Frozen Heart.

Futility Belt: HA. Ahahahahaha. Ha. Zane gains resistance to non-elemental and cryo damage (+15%). Futhermore, after killing an enemy, Zane’s barrier gains additional cryo damage (+20%) for 8s.

Tier 5: is oki. My only real complaint is with Nerves of Steel. Like. Seriously.

Refreshment: god tier skill actually. Keep the same.

Best Served Cold: also keep the same. The only change I will make is this: resetting your action skills’ cooldowns counts as action skill start and end.

Nerves of Steel: The longer Zane’s barrier is active, the more stacks of Nerves of Steel he gains (a maximum of 15). For each stack, Zane gains 2% shock damage, 2% cryo efficiency, and 1% damage to frozen enemies. (why shock damage? cryo doesn’t do well against shields.)

Tier 6: *cries in the worst capstone in the entire series* WHO DID THIS. WHY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU???

Distributed Denial: no. just. no. scrap this whole damn thing. IT DOESN’T EVEN WORK!!!! either fix it COMPLETELY or do something else. My recommendation? Whenever Zane throws down his barrier, his shield instantly begins recharging. If Zane’s shield is already full or recharging, enemies with no shields (or freeze immunity) that touch Zane’s Barrier for the next 10s are instantly frozen.

Augments: why the hell do i gotta place my barrier down when my entire fuckin’ character is about RUNNING. ALSO JUST AS A BLANKET STATEMENT: ALL THESE AUGMENTS WORK 100% EVEN IF HIS BARRIER IS PICKED UP. SO DUMB. a fully pointless restriction.

that last sentence immediately fixes Charged Relay and Nanites or Some Shite.

Redistribution: If his shields are full, Zane can sacrifice 50% of his shields to have his next shot deal 100% bonus cryo damage by holding F.

All-Rounder: Fine as is. Only thing I would add: whenever Zane melees an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and his sliding augment is added to the melee attack.

Deterrence Field: Fine as is. But! I would add: whenever Zane sprints into an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and slam augment is activated.

THAT WAY we can have both slam/sliding relics actually DO SOMETHING. because my god they’re so useless rn.

alright, moving on.

Hitman

Tier 1: is okay. nobody ever takes cold bore. ever.

Violent Speed: fine as is, but we’re taking it back to pre-release values. Max: 30%. can stack 2x.

Cold Bore: Zane gains (max) 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots fired while moving.

Violent Momentum: fine as is, but taking it back to pre-release values. 30% gun damage at default walk speed. Additionally, Zane can now shoot while sprinting.

Tier 2: my boy zoomer needs more fun.

Cool Hand: fine as it is. I would buff his base reload speed up to 20% and kill skill reload to 20% as well. 17 and 13 are such weird numbers.

Drone Delivery: fine as it is. Additionally, Zoomer’s base shots now take on the element of Zane’s grenade mod.

Salvation: fine as it is. I won’t mess with this bc life steal is messy business (coughs in grog)

Tier 3: hhhynf.fdsg. 

Death Follows Close: Kill Skill Bonus: +30%. Kill Skill Time: +7s. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer take 5% more damage from Zane.

Tier 4: these two skills are actually p dope by themselves. it can stay as it is. I would MAYBE increase the violent violence max buff up to 20% but that’s just me.

Tier 5: ahahahaha. this skill. just remember, we’re pretending Seein’ Dead doesn’t exist, so imagine how this skill looks next to calm cool n collected. so pointless.

Good Misfortune: Killing an enemy with a critical hit adds (max) 10% efficiency to Zane’s kill skills for 8s. This does not stack.

Tier 6: WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU RELEVANT AGAIN BOO HANG IN THERE

Seein’ Red: Zane has a (4%) chance to activate his kill skills upon dealing gun damage to an enemy. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer now take 15% more damage from Zane.

so why didn’t we make good misfortune the infinite action skill build?? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CCnC IS SUPPOSED TO DO!!! why have 2 skills that do the exact same thing AT THE EXACT SAME TIER except ONE IS OBJECTIVELY WORSE!!!!!

what happens to the Seein’ Dead class mod if we’re giving its perk to this capstone? I’m so glad you asked. “Zane activates his kill skills when activating his action skills. Additionally, the kill skills activated this way have 15% more efficiency”. look how much better balanced that is!!!! that’s a class mod!!!!!!!!

Augments: these aren’t THAT bad, but they could be a lot better.

Winter’s Drone: Zoomer gains 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots.

Bad Dose: pump these numbers up. Fire Rate: +7% per affected enemy. Movement Speed: +10% per enemy. everything else is fine.

Boomsday: just make this more beefy. fr. It’d be a good choice if it were stronger.

Static Field: also fine. I would again give it better damage output, but that’s just me.

Almighty Ordnance: remove the build up honestly. Like i get the vibe and it’s really cool, but in combat it just DOESN’T WORK. maybe if Zoomer is targeting an enemy, he will unleash the missiles if they are above 50% health after 30s or something. I honestly think these should have a debuffing factor instead of a damage factor (you know, to not get in the way of boomsday). maybe something around 15%? the 1x per action skill activation thing would be easily subverted with CCnC with the changes we suggested, so it could work. 

Doubled Agent

ahhh, Blane. Blue Zane. Love ya, buddy. One change: he prioritizes pinged targets. That way you can kinda get him to fight specific people. Also, lower the teleportation timer. pls.

Tier 1: actually p good. could be better, but its not bad.

Synchronicity: Zane gains 20% bonus damage per active action skill. While Zane has an action skill active, he gains a stack of Synchronicity. Max Stacks: 10. For each stack of Synchronicity, Zane gains 5% Action Skill Cooldown Rate and 2% Action Skill Damage.

Praemunitus: Zane and his digiclone gain (max) 30% magazine size.

Borrowed Time: For each action skill active, Zane gains 30% action skill duration. The longer Zane’s action skills are active, he and Blane gain a higher Fire Rate and faster Reload Speed, up to 20%. (the idea is you choose between this or synchronicity bc... either permanent action skills build or fast paced action skills build)

Tier 2: Donnybrook is fun. Fractal Frags is fun. Duct tape mod is a GODDAMN DISAPPOINTMENT

Donnybrook: fine as it is. I might buff the max numbers up to 20% gun damage and 3% health regen. But that’s really it.

Fractal Frags: Blane will periodically toss a grenade from Zane’s stockpile at his targeted enemy (cooldown: 20s). Kill Skill: Blane has a 45% chance to throw a free grenade.

Duct Tape Mod: this skill... why... No cooldown. NONE. Zane has a 1% chance to also fire a grenade from his gun. Kill Skill: This is increased to 15% for 8s (stays at 1% for the whole time, but the kill skill will increase by 3% for each tier)

Tier 3: Actually Quick Breather is one of my favorite skills. this can stay.

Quick Breather: Same as is. Additionally, Zane and his clone gain 25% Gun Damage after swapping places for a short time (8s).  I really wanna promote swapping places. It’s really underutilized. they’ve ADDED stuff to this skill already!!! even tho it didn’t work until the next patch. BUT THEY SHOW ITS POSSIBLE TO ADD TO SKILLS!!!

Tier 4: actually a really good tier. a few minor changes. 

Pocket Full of Grenades: Kill Skill: Zane gains (max) 15% grenade regeneration for 8s. If Zane’s grenades are full, any excess grenades are shot from his gun with 25% bonus damage.

Old-U: If Zane falls into FFYL while his digiclone is active, he can press the action skill activation key to destroy his clone and gain a second wind. When he does this, he takes the place of his clone. His clone will also drop a grenade when it is destroyed.

Supersonic Man: Zane gains increased movement speed for each active action skill: (max) 15% each. Additionally, teleportation is considered to be Zane’s maximum speed for its duration and 5s after. 

Tier 5: oh god oh fuck oh god.

Like a Ghost: Oh god why. Zane and his digiclone gain a (max) 15% chance to ignore all damage while teleporting and for 7s after.

Boom. Enhance: actually a pretty swell skill. I would probably add Health Regen +3% per grenade tho. Blane needs help a lot.

Trick of the Light: bring back the shock damage. Zane deals 40% bonus shock damage for 7s after swapping places with his clone.

Tier 6: oh ngl I actually love this capstone lol

Double Barrel: Zane’s digiclone gains a copy of Zane’s current gun when it is deployed (and all the anointments work and he actually fires it like a reasonable person). Zane’s clone now deals damage equal to Zane’s base weapon damage. Upon swapping places, both Zane and his digiclone deal 50% bonus damage for 7s.

Augments: 

Binary System: is okay. Kinda uhhh underwhelming tho. Buff up the damage and also maybe reduce teleportation time.

Schadenfreude: I like this one a lot. Zane’s shield is restored by 100% of the damage his digiclone takes and vice versa.

Dopplebanger: lower the waiting time. I get that u don’t wanna override the teleportation, but it’s really annoying. Buff damage and don’t make it dependent on action skill duration. If this explosion kills an enemy, the clone is reactivated with 50% action skill duration.

Which One’s Real?: I’ve never actually felt this work. Maybe for like 2 seconds? Make it work more like Zer0′s hologram or Timmy’s Jack clones or smth. Maybe give an activation cue? im v lost with this one. Enemies targeting Zane take 30% more damage from the digiclone.

Digital Distribution: 75% of the health damage Zane takes is distributed to his clone instead. The digiclone gains 5% Health Regeneration/s and sends out 3 [level specific damage] shock spikes to enemies that attack it. 

literally all Zane needs is SYNERGY. if they can change a few skills, pump up a few numbers, and ffs fix the seein’ red/dead capstone/mod, they’d be in FUCKIN BUSINESS

but no instead

THEY LOCKED THE BUFF BEHIND A PAYWALL.

WHYYYYYY

[dolphin-enthusiast]

eyo, it's quinn back with some more waifu tidbits that i just remembered during a convo with her :)))) ok so,, 1) when waifu is sleepy, she takes on this extremely heavy italian accent,, it's really cute!! it makes her voice really soft and melodic, (even if her normal voice is too lol) it's also to the point where our friends have to work together to figure out what she's saying sometimes hahaha (1/6)

IM ANSWERING THIS 2 DAYS LATELY ITS BEEN WILD AF BUT LIKE Q U I N N THIS IS SUCH BLESSED CONTENT AGAIN GHSHGSHGGH

Lemme just say i aint surprised that she can do both at the same time i mean g i r l shes lit rally perfect and also looks bomb like???? h e l l o?? (with that beautiful ass italian accent too) and the fact that she’s oblivious to it is both adorable and very in character for her ngl hgsghhgs also im AMAZED at her bartender skills and this also made me thot of a while back when i got a hc request for a bartender s/o so i guess we found her ladies and gentlemen-

And i can also very much relate to her smallness since i myself am extremely light and ppl love to clown on me real bad since p much all jackets and most t shirts look hella big on me too we t w i n n i n g hghgs A N D i will get some of those candies for her one day haha jk u n l e s s

ALSO I NEVER HEARD OF THAT KIDNAPPING INCIDENT EITHER WTF HSGHGSH I swear this girl survived so much bs its unreal and unfair as all fuck but still wth....i need some names and locations once again i j u s t w a n n a t a l k

[everythingisawayoflife]

ROMANTIC TROPES THAT GET ME EVERY👏🏾FUCKING👏🏾TIME😤😤

you know that one scene where characters dance together to a cute song and then when they get in a certain position, they look at each other all romantic-like and are kinda like “are we about to kiss” and either a) pull away shyly or b) K I S S (its the top one bc its my fave)

when character a is severely injured and is reassuring character b that they’ll be okay (even if the wound is fatal) and weakly caresses b’s face and either a) passes out and makes b shake them while b has to be pulled away so a can be taken care of or b) a dies in b’s arms while a holds them close while sobbing in THAT POSITION Y’ALL SHOULD KNOW THE ONE IM TALKIN ABOUT BUT LIKE JESUS WAY TO PUNCH MY GUT THANKS ALOT

or when they’re lightly injured (lets say a broken arm) and they don’t have the supplies to steady it and when character a tries to move it, b softly says something like “no don’t move, just rest” LIKE CHARACTERS TAKING CARE OF EACH OTHER IS JUST PERFECT

when a is emotionally vulnerable and when their emotions reach a climax, they kind of collapse in b’s arms, sobbing into their shoulder and b’s just holds them (bonus tears if they’re standing up and they slowly sink to the floor together and BONUS BONUS if b cries w/ a)

Kisses where b runs into a’s arms and a lifts them and kisses them passionately

kisses when a dips b are truly magical

cuddling when a is sitting upright while b is laying on a’s lap while a runs their fingers thru b’s hair LIKE FUCKIN ADORABLE

look, i know they’re cheesy and some of them are just horribly done but MEET CUTES ARE GREAT

when a is picking up b for a dance/party and are waiting downstairs when b makes their GRAND ENTRANCE and stuns a w/ their beauty. bonus tears if a either mouths ‘wow’ or stutters bc they can’t find the words to describe how beautiful b is

THE FIRST HAND HOLD. BONUS TEARS IF IT’S AWKWARD.

when a gives b a cute piece of jewelry that has some personal meaning for the both of them and b says something like “its beautiful” and/or “i love it” and throws their arms around a. bonus tears if a has a matching or companion piece.

SERENADES. my dad once serenaded my mom w elvis’ “can’t help falling in love” and then gave her a music box that played it bc it’s her favorite elvis song (trust me my parents have a lot of romantic moments that are suspiciously movie-like)

proposals. i dont care how it happens just as long as one of them says yes.

when a goes to sacrifice themselves for the greater good and b’s like “no don’t leave me you can’t” and a’s like “i’m sorry but this is the only way” and they kiss passionately one last time before a and b’s hands slide apart in a C I N E M A T I C M A S T E R P I E C E

the sick character. i am a strict sickfic person so here’s what i believe it has to have to be perfection. a denies sickness and b just kinda accepts it but is still suspicious about it until something big happens that causes a to weaken and b says something like “lets get you in bed”. bonus tears if b carries a bridal style. bonus BONUS tears if a has nightmares while being sick and cry into b’s shoulder while having a high fever or whatever BUT SICKFICS ARE GODTIER AND YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE

when characters meet for the first time by locking eyes across the room and the whole scene slows down except for them and it just focuses on them and omg bye i gotta go bc why do i gotta be the side token black character in all of my friend’s love lives :(

when a is a singer (like professionally) and they sing a song that a wrote for b and only they know it (i have yet to have a song written about me)

when they’re besties and they goof off and a does something stupid (normally involves falling) and b catches them and they look into each other’s eyes while b slowly puts a down but is still holding them

when they fall asleep and wake up on each other and are WAY embarassed about it

a cleaning b’s cuts and bandaging them and being like “hold still” while b’s being a difficult little shit who’s secretly in pain

ROMANTIC MIDDAY PICNICS IN A PARK (thats very hallmarky and i despise hallmark with all my being but i only like this trope if it’s done right in a montage with a cute song in the background, preferably a well-known one)

sharing earbuds to listen to a song

when they’re faces get so close because circumstances but they don’t kiss but you can tell they thought about it

Uh, I actually had one more in mind but I completely forgot it so I’ll edit it later if I remember it but YEAH ADD ON IF YOU HAVE ANY. also i guess these were more like “common situations” than “tropes” but you get the idea: these happen in romantic movies and tv a lot and when they do i gush and i smile so wide my face hurts.

[crystu-cii]

XDD

I f e e l that pain in my soul-- my older sister uses cologne sometimes and it is sO STRONG AND WILL NOT STAY CONFINED TO HER ROOM-- AMD SOMETIMES SHED DO IT IN THE DOORWAY LIKE HELLO-- XDD

YEAH WH GET SOME SLEEP LEAVE THE STAYING UP TO US-- XDD

YES BABY JAIL, INTO THE UPSIDE DOWN LAUNDRY BASKET YOU KNIFE-WIELDING HEATHEN-- XDD oms XDD well I don't know them but I love them- YESSS THEYRE SO FLUFFY-- I'm actually curious what images pop up first imma check-- FLUFFY PUPPIES-- we've actually never owned ones that fluffy(those actually look more similar to shetland sheepdogs than the shelties we've had so far?? Very similar/similar enough where if someone doesn't know a sheltie we mention shetland sheepdogs), our current one is a purebred that we got for free(she was being given away bc her family never came back for her and the lady taking care of her couldn't afford the time to take care of a second dog long-term think) and she's got pretty short fur in comparison- still fluffy enough, but not quite so long of fur-- she's a blue merle(absolutely gorgeous fur, she's like 8 now with a lot of health problems but she's super loving still 💕💞) anyways about the fur, so long as you brush regularly you should mitigate most of that, and it mostly collects in corners- but like.. be prepared to eat and wear dog fur for the rest of your life-- (actually there's a thing called a fur zapper we bought recent that you put in with your clothes when you wash/dry them(I think it's dry but idk??) that's supposed to get a lot of hair off your clothes in that process? Also lint rollers are your best friend--) AND roombas are really helpful(we bought a knockoff one and rarely have to sweep ever so 👀) XDD WHEEZE I can't even imagine what you did-- but like you could ask for a budgie/parakeet /hj I mean, they aren't very expensive (actually they're pretty cheap) but they're very loud, need a lot of attention(especially if you want them to bond to you!) and you need to research into them a lot to make sure you're doing things right-- loads of vids online!! Loads of websites too!!! I'd know I have one- JUST A WARNING, FEATHERS AND SEED HULLS GET ALL OVER YOUR FLOOR XD p l u s like you have a friend who knows stuff about birbs :3 anyways ENOUGH RAMBLING FROM ME WOW THAT GOT LONG--

💕💕 I feel that XD OMS-- I WISH-- WHAT A D R E A M - s n a k - Awww but what a mood XD

XDDD oms YES-- EXACTLY-- XDDDD another good thing you should try eventually is SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE WHICH IS APPARENTLY DELICIOUS??? I TRIED IT FOR THE FIRST TIME(AT LEAST IN A WHILE) TODAY AND IT WAS SO FUCKIN TASTY????

H E A THEN-- XDD how cool of them to try tho :3 whEEZE Y 'A LL-- XDD

WHEEZE I SUCK WITH INSTRUMENTS SOOOO-- DAMN THA'S SOME BAD LUCK MY DUDE-- MAYBE YOU'RE CURSED DAMN-- oms wOWW--

Yesss-- ooh I've never played 👀 seen some stuff but never played-- (see: my computer sucks XD) I h a v e played Portal 1 and it is SO GOOD and SO SHORT and I WISH I HAD GOTTEN PORTAL 2 INSTEAD BUT THATS OKAY CRIES-- YESSSS THE SONGS SLAP--- ALSO THERE ARE ACTUALLY TWO WHOLE MORE CANON(PROBABLY KINDA MAYBE NOT?? IDK) SONGS, ONE FROM A LEG DIMENSIONS GAME("You Wouldn't Know") AND ONE THAT WAS CUT FROM PORT TWO("Don't Say Goodbye"(Harry101UK made an edit to make it Glados' voice!!)) THERE ARE ALSO A BUNCH OF GOOD FAN SONGS SO YEAH-- ALSO NOT TO BE A SIMP BUT GLADOS' VOICE? PERFECTION. I LOVE HER. ALSO I COULD LITERALLY DETAIL THE PORTAL LORE I AM INCREDIBLY EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THIS GAME-- ALSO THERES A CLIP THAT SOMEONE MADE USING A (VERY GOOD) GLADOS TTS TO HAVE GLADOS SAY TRANS RIGHTS AND ENBY RIGHTS AND IF I FIND IT AGAIN ILL SEND IT TO YOU-- YOU COULD PROBABLY FIND IT IF YOU LOOM UP GLADOS SAYS TRANS RIGHTS? IT HAS A VIDEO WITH TRANS FLAG COMPANION CUBES ACCOMPANYING IT-- ALSO YES THE PORT MODS(/ADD-ONS? MAYBE? THEY'RE COMMUNITY MADE I THINK BUT IDK ALL I KNOW IS THAT THEYRE COOL AF--) (also I apologize for all the screaming? XD it's like, four am and I was talking about portal so.. whoops?)

Right like wth???? I???? Okay but like December to February babies just fuckin DONT EXIST IN THIS GEN OR SOMETHIN-- CAUSE I FIND N O N E -- Maybe there are more December babies but there are definitely like NO January to February babies it is So Weird--

NEJFQOBGKW WOWW d an g like-p l e a se s t op over sp r aying-- xD and LEGITTTT LIKE- THAT WAS M Y ROLE TO STAY UP LATE- XDD

WHEHEHEZE- LAUNDRY BASKET TIME- G E T I N XDD anD YESS- any doggo is just such a cute doggo 😭💞💞 but for me- fLUFFY ONES ARE WHERE ITS A T- and ohhhh i see- FOR FREE?? W H A T A S T E A L XDD but awwww the poor doggg at least she's with you now ! ;0;; 💞💞😭 aaw such a lovable puppup 😭😭💞 and oHHH i see :00 but oh no- xD i also have a friend that has two dogs and whenever he would give me gifts- there would be dog hair on them no matter what- XDD and ooOhhh those sound really helpful! omg- i swear i dont have to have a pet for the need of a roomba- i already shed so much hair myself its so crazy-- xDD and oH MAN loud animals are really gon get my mom fired up- and OO birds just look so cuteee i always fantasize of having one- but then again- with the noise and all xD the more i think about it i dont think we are prepared to have a pet at all xD but i still dream of at least having one pet in my lifetime!

and OO that sounds awesome!! i have no clue if i even tried casserole before- man- sometimes i just eat food without even knowing wth it is XDDD but THAT SOUNDS so gooodddd :O

and LEGITT LIKE- TF IS HAPPENING WITH MY SCHOOL LIFE- XDD and oh my god- IT GETS WORSE- that year there was a FREAKINGG FIREEEEEEE- it wasnt that dangerous thank god- but it had to get a whole ass room renovated because of it- and guess what room it was- THE ORCHESTRA ROOM- AND GUESS WHAT M A D E I T W OR SE- that year- it was the first time the school replaced those 10+ year old instruments with new ones- NOW THEYRE B U R N T- and mind you that the school's budget isnt so- gr e a t- like oh my god i am still so bewildered over HOW MUCH chaos HAPPENED that year- and i thought that year was gon be the year- yknow? like UGH

and OHH MANN playing portal sounds awesome! but i just dont think the game would be worth my money cause i know the plot- and even with the mods and all my brain would be broken as i would possibly have no clue what to do- xDDD

and HOOOO MANNN game fan songs are just so AWESOMEEE- and those sound pretty cool! :OO and HOLY SHIT FUCK YEAH- GLADOS SAYS TRANS AND ENBY RIGHTS Y A LL- now im gonna look that up and let my ears be blessed by such words- XDDD and DONT WORRY BOUT SCREAMING ALOT- i scream a whole dam lot too XDD

and LEGITTT- finding someone's b-day in january and feb is so rare all of a sudden like wh a t - XDD

[coolguycy]

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

A - Available? im dating the amazing @erin-and-their-imagination

B - Birthday? dec 8

C - Crushing on? see A

D - Drink you last had? water

E - Easiest person to talk to? im not good at talking to people but probably @apollo-the-fool

F - Favourite song? currently The Mind Electric

G - Grade i hated? 5th grade fucking sucked

H - Hometown? not gonna say cause i still live here

I - Icecream flavour? cookie dough!

J - Jellybean flavour? idk, the blue ones

K - Killed someone? what are you, a cop?

L- Longest friendship? im not sure.. i think itd be with my friend jedzia, from 6th grade- current day (tho we dont really talk much anymore)

M - Milkshake flavour? chocolate

N - Number of siblings? 4 (one olers sister, two younger sisters and a little brother)

O - One wish? happiness for me and everyone i care about

P - Person who called me last? my mom

Q - Question your always asked? in person its “whats that thing on your arm??” (its freckles)

R - Reason to smile?  see A

S - Song i last sung? Little Miss Perfect (i forget who its by)

T - Time you woke up? like 9:45?

U - Umbrella colour? white with a blue and green floral patters

V - Very best friend? see E

W - Which celebrity i’d marry? n/a i dont like most celebs

X - X rays i had? my right middle finger (i snapped the tendon a few summers ago)

Y - Your last time you cried? last night

Z - Zodiac sign? Sagittarius

wow that was a lot, thanks!

[blkmxrvel]

Carol Danvers Fluff A-Z Headcanon

Pairing: Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel x Female!Reader

Request: -

Warnings: None

A/N: I’m pretty sure you all saw this coming. And if you didn’t.....well.

A = affection (how affectionate are they in day to day life? Do they show affection publicly or keep that more in private?)

Growing up on Hala (we all know she didn’t but you know what I mean), Carol was always taught the less affection the better. She willed herself to never care or let her personal feelings get in the way. To her, the mission at task was always the most important.

But when she met you, all of that changed. She never understood why she wanted to hold your hand, or why she always started glowing when someone said something remotely offensive to you. 

Once she got over all of that however, you can best your bottom dollar that Carol was the most affectionate person you’d ever met. She doesn’t believe in showing you off in front of anybody, or anything like that. She knew you were hers, so affection didnt’t happen much when you were in public. But! At home around people you were both comfortable around, she would never stop with the pet names, holding, and random kisses. You never complained, and she never stopped.

B =best memory (what is the best memory they have with you)

She has two, even though they didn’t happen at the same time they’re both the same thing. The first time she met you. 

Before she had gone missing, you two were in the same troop in the Air Force. The day she walked on the field, she couldn’t take here eyes off of you. You smiled at her and she had committed to her memory. You two had became the best of friends after that.

After the six years, you were at Monica’s house when she and Fury came to the house. And Carol swears that everything came back to her in that moment. It was like you were the one with powers, the way a orange silhouette followed you around. She soaked in the way your body felt against hers when you hugged her.

Everything came flooding back. The laughs, the cries, the anger and the love. She had remembered it all.

C = cat or dog person

Cats, duh. Have you met Goose? Okay we know that he’s not an actual cat, but the way he looks, how fluffy he is has inspired Carol to never own any other animal. D = dreams (what do they want to do in life?)

To protect. That's always been her purpose. On Kree and even before the crash, she always wanted to protect her people. You, Monica, Maria, Fury; are her people, and she will be damned if she lets anything happen to any of you. E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? So they go out? Do they read?)

Sleep, sleep, sleep and more sleep. Trying to save planets and the universe really takes a toll, so she naps as much as possible. Most nights though, she loves to just cut on her favorite slow music grab a book and lose herself in it. Its her second favorite relaxation method. F = first date (what was it like?)

Fucking extravagant. Who would've thought carol was such a romantic. There were candles everywhere, soft music playing and an empty restaurant just for the two of you. You spent the entire evening having your every desire filled and it couldn't get any better than that.

G = giggle (what is their laugh like? What makes them laugh?)

Im- We all know, and if you don't I'm so sorry. With her stature and build you would think her giggle is dominant and deep, but no no. It's light, airy and makes your stomach do flips. It's adorable and you love to watch her eyes scrunch up when she does it. H = hugs (do they like hug? What kind of hugs do the give?)

Carol has the absolute best hugs. She's tall so naturally her arms go for the middle, and they're long so she's able to wrap them alllllll the way around and pull you in. She squeezes firm but not hard enough to make you lose your breath. Her eyes always close a little bit to savor the moment as she rests her head on top of yours. And She always smells like apples and vanilla so it makes the experience that much better. I = instrument (do they play an instrument?)

She loves the piano. The soft, serene music it makes is a sharp contrast to what she's usually used to: chaos, chaos, chaos. So she's delighted to let herself go in something so...grounding. J = joy (what brings them joy in life?)

You, Maria, Monica and Of course goose are her favorite people. She prides herself on human interactions with the ones she loves, so being around you guys makes her the happiest. Fighting to protect you all is great, but that means nothing if she doesn't have a bond with the ones she is protecting, you know? K = kisses (what kind of kisser are they? Shy? Passionate?)

You know….Carol is a certified #top but I think her kisses would be so soft and gentle most of time. She’d grab you by your face and start with your nose and cheeks, before placing the softest of kisses on your lips. It's so soft it tickles, making you and in turn her always laugh.

There are those occasions after a near-death mission or event where softness is not the needed medium. In those cases, passion is everything. Actions speak louder than words, and she’ll make sure that she speaks clearly.

L = love (how do they act when they have a crush)

When Carol Danvers wants something, she makes sure everyone knows it. She never missed an opportunity to compliment or flirt with you. She regularly invaded your personal space with hugs, cheek kisses and high five. Whenever someone would try to make advances on you, all she had to do was make her first glow a little bit and boom.

And it wasn't just her trying to make sure no one made a move on you. She would consistently dodge everyone else who tries to slide on her. If it wasn't you, then she didn't want them.

M = memory (what’s their favourite memory?)

Oddly enough, the night in the bar she'd spent with Maria. It was after a really long day training, and they decided to let off some steam. After getting more drunk than what medical professionals recommend, they had spent all night singing karaoke. They didn't get a single word or melody right, but who cares?

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

The three i’s: Intolerance, Ignorance, Insolence. She absolutely cannot stand (ironically enough) people who have no respect for others. In the air force, she has been treated way less than everyone else just because she had a vagina. And Maria had it worse than her, just because she was black and had a vagina. They both got shit for liking women. The skrulls has their entire planet and families destroyed, just because the Kree people thought they were better than them. She couldn't ever wrap her head around people like that, but she could blast them into a new galaxy :)

O = occupation (what’s their dream job?)

Serving her country. But since she has too much power to be just doing that, she wants to serve, protect and restore the entire universe. She wants to shield everyone from harm and avenge the death of everyone Thanos took from them. (See what I did there?)

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

Oh, Carol would most definitely be the parent who's their kids best friend. She knows how to get down with the best of them, and her children are no exception. Can you imagine what it would be like having a mini carol blasting around the house? All the little (and big) things they would get into? My, Oh, My. Q = questions (do they believe in the super natural? Aliens? Anything along those lines)

What do you think? R = romantic (are they romantic during the relationship?)

Carol puts romanticism to shame. If she isn't constantly sweeping you off your feet,  whether literally or figuratively, then she's doing something wrong.

Flowers and foods from different planets. Vacations to different galaxies. Never having to make breakfast or drive ever again. Long soliloquies when she can't wait to see after a long mission. Never having to go a day without her after they defeat Thanos. Sometimes they can get overwhelming,  but you know she's coming from a place of love.

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail)

Happy you, happy maria, happy Monica,  happy goose, happy life, happy universe, Happy Carol.

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

Because of her current task of trying to fix the universe, she doesn't see you nearly as much as she would like to. But when she is without dont expect to be able to shake her off, not that you'd ever want to. She would be all over you with kisses, hugs, cuddles, sex and love. She had to get as much of you as she could before she had to leave again.

U = unbearable (what habit do they have that’s unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable)

You hate to be the kind of s/o where they say they’re absolutely perfect...but Carol is absolutely perfect. There isn’t anything wrong with her. You could ask for anyone better. V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

Surprisingly, yes. Obviously she's not from this era, being born in the 60s and on other planets for the past 15 years. Her first time seeing a cell phone was one thing, but seeing her face on one in real time, doing what she was doing was a different breed. Once you taught her how to use the camera as well as social media (“so you're telling me that I can see what someone else is doing on the other side of the world?) all she could do was document her life. Her life that consisted mainly of you, Monica and Maria was all over snapchat, Instagram and Facebook. It was the small things she chose to record and photograph. The things that were important but not big enough to where she can automatically recall. She chose to record things that she wouldn't even think of on a regular basis, things that would jog her memory and make her smile. Because who knows? Maybe someone else can come along and take her memory again. Or read her thoughts. She needs something that can make her remember.

W = wedding (what was the wedding like?)

Everything the both of you could ever ask for. It was outdoors, both your families (avengers, skrulls, flerkens, the usual) were there. You both work pristine beautiful dresses that had everyone in awe. There wasn't a dry eye in the courtyard as you two were pronounced wife and wife.

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?)

Psssttt. She loves country music and painting, dont tell anyone.

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, sent, word anything)

Besides those special type of people, carol absolutely despises the summer. You would think, living in California, she'd be used to it but no. She hated the sticky sweat and the humid air. Winter was the summer for her. Z = zzzz (how heavy of a sleeper are they? How do they sleep? What mood do they wake up in? Really any sleeping headcanons)

Carol sleeps like she's heavily, heavily sedated. It's quite remarkable, you think. She usually sleeps on her back, or side but she's always attaches to you. Whether you're on her chest or she's facing you with your arms around each other.

Now, I've seen sooooo many people say that Carol is a morning person, but I have to disagree. Do you really think she's gonna do all that work, sleep that hard and wake up chipper? I think not! She does everything in her power to stay asleep, you are not going to object, you hate the mornings too.

It's always a game to see who can sleep in the longest. Spoiler alert: Carol usually wins.