#its fucking midnight and NOW the temperature seems fine and refreshing

[globodamorte]

fucking finally there's a cool breeze outside

[ozzy-bozzy]

“I know, baby. I know..”

Dabi x reader

desc. You have a rough time late at night

genre. Its has a sort of fluffy end but this is pure venting content.

warnings. cursing, self deprecation, insomnia, the inability to be comfortable in bed

word count. 1,456 words

A/N I had a rough night, and actually a rough reality recently. This is literally a vent fic, something I wrote to make myself feel better. This actually is almost a play by play for how my night went, from the switching positions to the comfort blanket. All except the comforting love of Dabi and a happy ending, that is. Dabi is a major comfort character, so that’s why it’s about him. Sorry if this is rlly depressing or concerning. I just needed an outlet to vent and I really wanted Dabi comfort. !! also sorry it get’s a little specific at times! I lost myself writing this !!

It was a little after midnight, Dabi laid next to you on his back, an arm wrapped around you with your head rested against his chest. His breathing was slow and steady, he had fallen asleep already. You hadn’t managed to fall asleep yet. You were too busy, too occupied with your own thoughts to even feel tired anymore. You stared into the nothingness of your dark room, nuzzling closer to his warm body. Everywhere but where you laid right now felt too cold to shift to before, but now that you were too painfully aware of the heat you started feeling uncomfortable. And the position just made you feel empty, or too used. 

You started realizing a lot of things in your life had become routine, and it made you feel sick. It made your head hurt, and it made you feel shitty because of how you let your everyday events blur together in a mess of nothing. You never did anything during the day, you were never productive. You slept in until almost noon, you went to bed in the early hours of the mornings, you eat way too much every day, you dream of projects and big successes yet can’t even manage to take care of yourself and do normal, daily hygiene tasks. 

You slowly began to pick yourself up off of Dabi, the blanket around you feeling cold. You untangled your legs from his, your hand dragging across his torso as you parted from him. He shifted slightly in his sleep due to the loss of contact but settled back down. You rolled over onto your other side. You curled up on yourself and had grabbed a small throw blanket from the floor. You didn’t need more heat, the coolness of the bed at night actually felt refreshing, but it was a comfort item and you felt the need for comfort right now. You tucked your hands in against your chest, your legs wrapped up in the heavy upper blanket. Your head nuzzled in against the plush pillow and you quietly sighed. 

Looking back on your previous thoughts you immediately scolded yourself. How could you be so harsh? Everyone is having a bad time right now. You remember that a lot of people are losing their sense of time, not being able to keep track of the days, and yet you still tell yourself how stupid you have to be to not be able to manage something as trivial as that. You have a sort of tug of war in your head, the new positioning somehow filling that emptiness you felt before, but you knew that wouldn’t last. It never does. It always creeps back into the comfort of your bed, the one place you feel safe and loved; comfortable. And yet you lay here, every night, letting it tear you to shreds. You never know why.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a strong arm wrapping around your middle, a messy head of hair coming to rest in the crook of your neck. He was warm against your back, and the heat from before felt comforting. It felt constant and still, unlike the thoughts running rampant through your head. 

“...why are you still awake, baby?” he mumbled into your skin. You just hummed and shifted a bit in response, burying the side of your face further into the pillow.  

“Are you okay..?” He asked after the beats of silence that followed his first question. The movement of your shoulders could have hardly been called a shrug, and you looked at him slightly. He shifted from your movements and picked his head up, looking at you properly.

“Baby what’s wrong?” His voice was rough and deep, the arm around your middle rubbing comfortingly on your skin. He slowly guided you to lay on your back. He was propped up next to you. 

“I... I don’t know. I wish I did but I don’t. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I have so many issues and I wish I was so fucking normal, I wish I was okay, I wish I was fucking fine but I’m not, and I can’t even get a good night’s rest, how fucked is that??” You bit your lip and sighed in defeat, rubbing your face with your hands. You felt your body tremble a bit and you mentally slapped yourself. You were not going to cry tonight, and not from something so stupid. 

“I feel useless. I feel fucking helpless. I can’t do anything right and when I finally let myself go and give myself a moment to splurge and indulge in my comforts it feels like they’re ripped away and I’m told how shitty I’m acting and how I can’t take care of myself. How everything I do for myself is ‘unhealthy’ or ‘messy and pointless’. And on top of it, all everyone else seems perfectly fine. I feel like I can’t even talk to anyone, hell I feel like I can’t even talk to my fucking therapist. She thinks I’m thriving and happy because I can never tell her how wrong I am because I’m so used to putting on a mask that when I go to talk to her I feel fine—“ Your ramble was interrupted by his hand squeezing your side. You’re happy he stopped you. You would have stopped you too. You wouldn’t let yourself keep going if you had the chance. You-

“Hey. Hey! Knock that off, baby I know you’re struggling but you have to stop getting so tangled up in your own words. I know you’re just spewing at the mouth right now, and that’s okay. But I want you to stop thinking about it or you’ll tear yourself apart. C’mere..” his hand slipped to the small of your back, pulling you against his warm body. Moments ago you found it uncomfortable and weird, but now it made you feel at home and loved. You felt safe being in his arms, pressed against him. You curled up to his chest, finding your surroundings feeling so cold now in comparison. 

“You know I’m always here for you. You know I’m here to make you feel better. We both have our struggles and never, never, will you be alone in them. I may not always know how you feel but I will never leave you to deal with those feelings alone” He kept his voice barely above a whisper, his head pressed against the side of yours. He was holding you as close as he could. You couldn’t tell if your body was trembling because of the cold or the feelings behind his words. You didn’t think it mattered.

“I’ve felt useless before, you know. I’ve thought ‘hey, what if the world was just better without me. What if I could actually do something right. Would someone be there to recognize it? Or would it just get lost in my head, left to get tangled up and ripped apart by my own twisted mind?” You curled up tighter against him, “But then you come in, and you shine brighter than the sun ever could. You show me everything is going to be okay, and I stop worrying, and baby—“ he stopped, pulling away slightly to press a passionate kiss to your lips, parting and resting his forehead to yours, “I want to be there for you. I want you to get wrapped up in my arms and all your toxic thoughts and whatever ails you is chased away” You swallowed roughly before tucking your head under his chin. 

You didn’t need to hear any more. Your tired brain swallowing up his words and mellowing out. You buried your head into the warm skin of his neck, focusing on the feeling. Effectively chasing away the cold, both in temperature and thoughts, you will yourself to eventually fall asleep in his arms, tangled up once again. He stayed awake this time, not slipping into a slumber until he knew you were okay. He was laid back on his back, you wrapped up even tighter in his arms. Instead of laying next to him with your head on his chest, you now laid on top of him with your nose buried in his neck. You couldn’t roll away from him now, and he would make sure you would be safe.

 You were always there for him during his breakdowns and times of need. You always made sure he was okay, and if he wasn’t you always found a solution. Sometimes temporary until a more permanent one could be found, but a solution nonetheless. He was determined to do the same for you.

You had not had such a good night of rest in awhile.