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nnegan13 · 6 years ago

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anon with basorexia and mamihlapinatapei, here is the mamihlapinatapei drabble lmao its 2k words drabble whom? for you! ao3 here and it will also be under the cut!

put it in the 3.01 canon divergence AU bc I felt it fit better in that universe than in canon, I hope you don’t mind and I hope you all realize that I apparently have no control over what I will and won’t come back to lmao

anywho

WEDNESDAY

17 APRIL 20:14 VERANDA, SAVA’S APARTMENT 20:14, Silvia to Le Matte [screenshot] Edoardo’s this weekend? 20:14, Federica to Le Matte 🤠 20:14, Eva to Le Matte 🥂🥂 20:14, Sana to Le Matte 💯 👅 20:15, Eva to Le Matte Wait Isn’t he still gonna be in the hospital 20:15, Silvia to Le Matte Chicco said he would be fine by Saturday I’ll ask tho 20:16, Eleonora to Le Matte Sure 20:24, message to Edoardo Incanti 20:24, message from Edoardo Incanti Yes Are you coming? 20:24, message to Edoardo Incanti Unfortunately But if you’re trying to kill yourself, I don’t want to be there as an accomplice 20:24, message from Edoardo Incanti I’m not trying to kill myself 20:25, message to Edoardo Incanti Throwing a rager right after you were in a fight so bad you wound up in the hospital? Sure, not trying to kill yourself at all 20:25, message from Edoardo Incanti Are you worried or something? 20:25, message to Edoardo Incanti No 20:25, message from Edoardo Incanti Bullshit Today goes down in the history books as the day Eleonora Sava admits she’s worried about me 20:25, message to Edoardo Incanti Fuck off 20:25, message from Edoardo Incanti It’s gonna be chill this weekend, I promise Swear on my life If it’s not, you can send me straight back to the hospital 20:25, message to Edoardo Incanti Having a hard time believing you 20:26, message from Edoardo Incanti Just say you’ll come?

She’s never known Edoardo Incanti to shy away from a party, so when Silvia texts in the group chat that they’re invited to Edoardo’s this weekend, Eleonora’s not even a little surprised.

Ele?

For a moment, Eleonora stares at her screen and considers the question. Does she want to go? Does she want to find herself in Edoardo’s house for a countless time over, does she want to watch him stumble around drunk with his friends egging him into stupid decision after stupid decision, does she want to sit there worrying over him and then worrying over whether or not Silvia will catch her worrying? Does she want to sink into the cushions of his couch until everyone has disappeared and pull him on top of her—push him over, rather—and do all sorts of things to him that are most definitely not allowed given that he was beat to a pulp and should be resting instead of doing something like throwing a party?

Honestly, yes, and Eleonora wishes she isn’t such a masochist.

When are we going?

Ignoring her phone as it starts buzzing again, she shifts her eyes back to the screen of her laptop, her next radio episode laid out in its little boxes, planned to the last second, and taps her fingertips on top of her keyboard, trying to get words to come out of her brain. Nothing comes for several long minutes, she types ffffff a hundred times over, probably, in the box where she should be writing about the next clothing drive, and slumps back in her chair. The apartment is quiet, Filippo gone with Dario somewhere depraved, she’s sure, and there’s nothing to distract her from the idea of Edoardo and his party.

She pulls her phone off the table and swipes away from Le Matte into the rest of her messages, annoyed that somehow she let her thread with Edoardo become her fourth most recent message string rather than the last, and sends the text without thinking.

Are you really throwing a party this weekend?

Eleonora stares, hard, at her phone until the two little checkmarks show up, and beats down the anticipation in her stomach.

You can find out then

Today goes down in the history books as the day Eleonora Sava admits she’s worried about me. It’s more true than she wants to admit, levels upon levels of more true than Edoardo must think, but she’s got the promise of I’m interested in you, and once we’re done, we’re done, and him doing almost anything and everything she’s ever asked of him, so there’s more than enough half-admittances of feelings to stew between the two of them.

Swiping out of her messages and into her photos, Eleonora pulls up the ones from Fiumincino last Wednesday when Edoardo showed up at her building, Thai food, cookies, and car in hand, and drove her out to the beach after she told him her assignments were pushing her to the brink. They drank sanpellegrinos and chai he made himself and ate sweet yellow curry until she thought she was going to burst, and it was warm enough that this time, when they sat on the dock watching the sun set, that she pulled off her boots and rolled up her jeans and swung her feet over the edge to trace through the water.

She looks at the pictures of him, face bruise free for the first time since March, grinning out at the water and hair wild, some pictures with his coat pulled up to his chin and other’s where he’s stripped to just his white t-shirt, turned into the wind and laughing. It’s an afternoon she keeps tucked away in her heart, one that she hasn’t told anyone about, not Eva, not Filippo and most definitely not Silvia, no matter how well their talk went over.

So, he’s not a good guy because he’s using me to get to someone else? Yes.

And that someone else is you? Yes.

Did it work?

Eleonora sets aside her phone and pulls her laptop back in front of her.

—

SATURDAY 20 APRIL 21:41 BACK PORCH, EDOARDO’S HOUSE

True to his word, the party is the most mellow event she thinks she’s ever seen Edoardo at. No DJ, just a low rumble of R&B in the background, some people are dancing but it’s mostly couples grinding and making out in the middle of the living room, no large collection of hard liquor, just several tubs full of ice and beer bottles—unless Edoardo points out where the fancy stuff for mixing and cocktails is, like he has to Eva—and most people are just chilling, talking, playing quiet but joyful games of pool and sprawling on the sofas inside and out. And, for once, his house doesn’t feel like it’s overflowing with bodies.

The exclusive invite actually seems exclusive, tonight.

Eva leaves Eleonora on the porch to sneak back inside to the liquor cabinet and make herself something that will leave her liver wrecked, and Eleonora can’t find it in herself to follow after her, make sure she really doesn’t hurt herself. She leans into the cushion of the sofa Eva abandoned her on, pulling out her phone to text Sana or Silvia or Federica to keep an eye out when Edoardo makes his way out of the house and onto the porch.

She spots him, a shy smile blooming on his bruised face as he starts meandering across the porch to where she sits, and she represses the urge to look around, make sure no one will see them together. Silvia knows they’re friendly—what a terrible, magnificent concept, being friends with Edoardo Incanti—and friends can talk to one another, right?

He drops onto the cushion next to her, leaving barely any room between them, and gives her a smile as he turns to the side, bending his knee and tucking his foot under his other leg. “Believe me now?”

She’s leaning sideways into the couch, one arm propped up on the back cushion and her face leaned into her fist. Of its own volition, her hand drifts from its position of holding up her head to play with the curls on the back of his. She winds her fingers through them without thinking, the backyard and the porch are all but empty now that the sun’s gone down, and seeing his face as bad as it is—those Giocchi Square guys do not fuck around—makes her chest smart. It’s just them, she can give herself this little tiny thing, playing with his hair, to help her feel better. He smiles a little wider as she tugs on one, tilting her head to the side and studying him. “Maybe.”

“What? Still think this thing will go sideways?”

“Anything’s possible,” she says, shrugging, catching the way he winces as he bites his split lip, the consequences of his hubris—fake or real, she still isn’t quite sure—effective his habits. Her eyes are drawn to his mouth, split in the corner but the rest of his lips still pink and smooth. The hand in his hair drifts again, this time tracing one finger down his face, passing lightly over the bruise on his jaw, the one below the corner of his mouth, the split in his lip, and his eyes dart over her face.

Once her finger brushes over to his cheek, the purpling skin around his eye, the butterfly bandage above his eyebrow, he speaks, his voice is a low rumble that slips into her body, down her spine, and pools in her stomach. “Anything?”

They’re not talking about the party, anymore. Her lips part as she thinks, finger nail drawing a half circle over and over to the side of his eye, and she watches his expression shift. Want—want stays ever present—but behind it is uncertainty, confusion, hurt, pleasure, resignation, all overshadowed and hidden, almost, by the black and blue and purple splotches on his skin,. Somehow the evidence of his beating brings them to the forefront even as it acts as a mask.

Eleonora brushes her thumb over the split in his lip again, and then lets it move farther until she’s felt the entire, soft surface of his mouth against her skin. His mouth he uses to eat and kiss and speak and compliment her and argue with her and tease her and say, in not so many words, that he’s a little in love with her.

Her heart breaks because she’s a little in love with him back.

It’s highlighted in his eyes, the way his pupils dilate, how they flick, sometimes, down to her mouth like he’s thinking about kissing her, but always, always focused hers when she’s talking to him, telling him something important, and now, in the soft light of his porch, the black melts into the dark brown of his irises until she can see her reflection in his eyes.

Can he see his in hers?

With her thumb resting on his mouth, her fingers gentle against his face, Edoardo shifts toward her until his knee presses into her leg, his hand slips over her knee, the corners of his eyes squint with the echo of a smile, and his lip quivers under her touch like it wants to follow suit. He leans—

Mind flooding with the little, tiny, hopeful smile Silvia gave her when she said she wasn’t going to do anything with Edoardo, Eleonora’s blood cools. “We shouldn’t.”

Even so, she doesn’t pull her hand from his face, but lets it slip down to curl around the corner of his jaw, barely around the back of his neck, so her thumb rests against his pulse point. He swallows and she can feel the muscles in his throat move underneath his skin.

“Why?” He murmurs, watching her carefully, his thumb ghosting over her tight-clad knee, large palm warm against her skin even through her clothes, and her mind has returned from whatever place it went to that allowed her to let him this close.

She drops her hand to his chest and pushes just enough that he leans back, lips pressing together and eyes shuttering into a blank mask. There’s a difference, now, between the shades of his pupils and his irises, and she thinks it’s because he found something in her eyes that’s the opposite of what she’s doing, now.

Wondering if he’ll ever tire of her pushing him away, accepting her own emotions but putting the feelings of others above them, Eleonora shifts and stands. After a moment, she turns to him, face drawn in resignation and disappointment. He holds her gaze for only a second before turning his head to the side. “You know.”

He whispers, “Okay,” and lets her stalk back into the house.

#skam italia #incantava #incantava fic #eleonora sava #edoardo incanti #my stuff #this was fun to write! these prompts are all so good!!

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allhallowsreid · 5 years ago

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just lots and lots of very long-winded, random thoughts about last night’s finale and the show itself...

so obvs no one has to agree with me on any of this, i just feel like there likely ARE ppl who feel like this and it’s easy to get shut down on tumblr for having different opinions, and i mostly just need to gather my feelings and thoughts in one place.

-ive seen a handful of ppl upset that the last ep centered around reid, but if you were to take 10 fans of this show, it’s a pretty good chance that 8 or 9 of them would say reid is their fave character. that isn’t me trying to insult any of the other characters, that’s just the way it is. whether it’s bc of his looks (and my lord was he gorgeous in this finale ep), or that he’s your typical cute white boi, or more organic reasons like he’s been there since day 1 and we were able to watch him change and grow, and he’s the opposite of the typical male characters we often see, especially on cop shows.. whatever the reason, he is a VERY popular tv character. and if it weren’t for that character, for better or worse, this show would have ended a long time ago.

-the ending itself.. i just feel like i don’t know what ppl were expecting?? this is not a show like supernatural or dexter or a show that has had a fluent overarching story to tell from start to finish. the story continues without us watching it. it’s another day at the office for them. was it a great ending? no, but it was fine. we see where all of them are headed. endings are so difficult, i’m just glad they didn’t kill anyone off or some garbage like that.

-so damn happy they hooked up luke and garcia. i have had such issues with garcia’s character since morgan left, i feel like she became a caricature, where she just overacts and i recently read an article with kirsten where she actually admitted that when shemar left she really didn’t know what to do with her character anymore. honestly? it showed. the obnoxiousness to luke was cute at first bc she obviously had a crush on him, but then it just became mean and out of character. this season i was happy to see her get a little bit more back to herself. all this being said, they were very clearly headed towards getting luke and garcia together this season with the overt flirting and one on one convo’s, i’m so glad they went through with it instead of leaving it open ended. and i will admit that of all the characters, i didn’t think garcia would be the one to leave, but it made sense. garcia is tough as hell, much tougher than she gives herself credit for, but like luke said, she can do this other job without the gore that she cringes over in literally every single episode of the show. also loved jj saying garcia was the glue of the team. so true, so well said. and side note, kirsten does a hell of a job writing these characters that she knows all too well, the other writers should’ve just let her take over in later seasons.

-prentiss... i love my emily so dang much, but man they give her the absolute worst dialogue. she gets stuck with all these long sentences that just.. they just don’t flow?? and it takes me out of the show so often. this has been since s12 when she became unit chief. there has been a handful of times since she became the boss that we have had flashes of old school smartass goth girl emily, and i cherished each moment, but it wasn’t enough. somewhere along the way they forgot how to write into the show that their characters had PERSONALITY. just as an example of the stupid dialogue she gets.. the end of the ep where it’s intended to look like rossi’s retirement party. then, idk who it was, emilys boyfriend maybe(?) says some dumb comment about oh gee i thought this was dave’s retirement! and then emily starts some awkwardly long line that could’ve been summed up in “dave decided not to retire afterall” and it was just soooo... weird?!!? if we are agreeing that A MONTH has gone by.. you are to tell me that it never once came up that dave said he was gonna retire and then changed his mind!??! that night, one month later, is the first that this discussion occurred!!?!?! and all of these dumb lines come out sounding so robotic, and i can’t blame paget, bc the lines are boring as hell. also unless i missed something i can’t rule emily out of being the next director, especially since their profile ended up being correct, lynch and the mom didn’t kill themselves, so i’m sure when that all came out, the next hurdle emily would have to clear is how they just blew up their very expensive jet right after having a budget meeting 2 episodes ago!!

- i’m gonna lump the newer characters together.. and just say that it was all too little, too late. they tried to give matt and luke more this season, and the ep’s centered on them were great, but it all felt forced to me. all this character development should’ve started as soon as they came onto the show. the relationships between the new and original characters also feels forced a lot of times, barring relationships like rossi and his boys, luke and garcia, tara and emily.. i mean that’s kind of all, right? we never saw much off-the-job, personal interactions between them and the rest of the characters, did we? and the way tara was treated on this show is inexcusable. aisha’s talents were so underused on this show it was criminal (pun intended). and actually, the above stuff i said about emily getting nonsense dialogue, you can throw matt in there too. his dialogue was friggin god awful at times on this show. in the words of early seasons reid, maybe try to be more conversational, writers!!

-man oh man was jj a badass and a half in this finale. tbh i always enjoyed liaison jj more than ssa jj, but when badass jj comes out i get all excited. i do feel like she would be the best fit to take over if emily left, she’d stepped into that role before and excelled. but she is another character that at times i think the writers just forgot how to write her personality somewhere along the way. i understand that the reality is that people change over time, but there were times that she was written like a typical high school mean girl, and that was just an insult to the character they created. the whole jeid thing was severely overblown and unnecessary. i don’t hate the idea of them being together, but why wait til s14-15 to deal with this? in the end i thought it was handled okay, i personally didn’t feel like it ruined their friendship or stayed awkward, which i appreciated, it was just a storyline that wasn’t needed and wasted time. also, ppl griping about “oh but she clearly loves will, if she loves spencer then she can’t love will!” i mean, actually, ppl are capable of loving more than one person at a time, hate to burst that bubble for ya.

-this seems like a good moment though to pause and just get this out about will lamon-fuckin-tagne jr... this guy is too good for jj lol, i am sorry but he is such a great guy. and can we review some things about will and his wife’s bestest friend, godfather to his children, spencer reid?? when will and spencer first met, it was during an unbelievably personal case to will, i mean his father died sending him a message about this case that the fbi was called in on. and his first intro with reid?? let’s see, reid spent that ep strung out on drugs, and full on abandoning the case to go hang out with his friend at a club/bar/lounge/whatever. ok, so that’s will’s first impression of jj’s bestie, and will STILL okay’d him being the godfather of his kids. not to mention, can you imagine your wife has been gone in the damn middle east for who even knows how long, then when she finally gets back and you think you’re gonna have her to yourself, but oh no, here comes jj’s friggin bestie again to come cry on the couch every night for several weeks!!!! and he gives zero indication of not liking spencer, in fact he seems rather fond of him. will is the most patient man ever, i swear.

-ok that was an unexpected side track. moving onto rossi. not sure why they were all like oh pfft this guy will never retire. the dude literally retired before the show started lol. if he retired once, when he was fairly young, why is the idea of it happening again so impossible? again, dumb dialogue. i loved the stuff with him and young gideon (i may be biased tho bc i’m just so damn proud of ben savage), i loved that rossi knew more about the jet than the others, however that was an inconsistency bc when rossi came back from retirement, he couldn’t believe the bau had its own jet. unless i just misunderstood what emily meant when she said it all started with rossi and gideon. i felt like lynch was a very underwhelming villain. super forgettable. there was no charisma like foyet or cat adams, there was no creep factor like mr scratch, there was no mystery like the replicator or the fisher king. his whole story just fell flat, and if there were anything interesting about him whatsoever, it’s bc of what rossi brought to the table, not the “chameleon”.

-my boy reid. he has several lifetimes of baggage to unpack, and i think of all the characters on this show, no one hates unpacking their trauma more than reid. i feel like it was so relatable that he could barely speak in this ep without sounding on the verge of tears, like every sentence was painful to even get out bc of how much hurt is stored up inside him. his trauma has defined him for years now, and if they had ended the show without addressing even some of it, the show would’ve been incomplete. i understand that actors schedules just don’t work out sometimes, but idk what the point was of having strauss and foyet be his devil and angel. and foyet’s long explanation of how bc he changed hotch, he changed the team was so convoluted that he may as well have just said “they couldn’t get james van der beek or the dude who played mr scratch, so im here instead”. i liked what they did with reid and maeve, and i actually don’t mind that there was no mention of max. they’re still very early in their relationship, and i feel like him coming out with some “wait i think i love max!” revelation would just be too fast and ooc. we already know that the relationship between them is growing, it doesn’t need to be said. and can i get an amen that maeve and reid didn’t kiss bc god that would’ve been weird as hell.

- i hate that we couldn’t have hotch or morgan or blake or elle or any of the main characters that helped make this show what it was, but i’m still grateful for the crumbs they gave us if the actors just couldn’t be booked for whatever reason. i’ve seen many shows at their end just try to pretend their previous characters never existed, so that we got some flashbacks with them was appreciated.

- RIP bau jet. i wiiiill reMEMber youuuuuuu.

-the song choice of david bowie’s Heroes was perfection. strangely, when i was driving home from work yesterday that song came on my playlist and i blasted it on repeat and performed a car concert for my fellow drivers on the road, and thought to myself that this song would be great for cm to end on. never thought they would actually do it since they had previously used the song in penelope’s ep. but what a great scene of all them dancing and singing and laughing like the bunch of nerdy idiots they are.

-i came late into the game with this show. ppl have been telling me for years to watch it and i only picked up watching in s13, after i read a spn/cm crossover fic and became super curious about who all these awesome characters were. with that said, i’m aware that since i haven’t invested years of my life in this show, that my feelings and thoughts about the ending will be different than those who have been hooked on this show for over a decade. i’m still just so thankful for the family portrayed by this show, and these characters i fell in love with, and episodes i’ll never forget.

#text posts #series finale #thx for reading if u took the time to do so :-)#criminal minds

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detectivehole · 6 years ago

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Go comic feral, i followed this blog for a rEASOn and it's bc i like to hear your random vents and rants and also you reblog cool stuff. But i digress, go comic feral i am hERE for it

fine

PETER PARKER BEING RICH IS STUPID he didnt even ern what he has himself it was nt even himn he wasnt in his body maybe if i had got to see him start fron nothing to being a cool ceo or whatever id be able to stand it but nooooooo he just GOT is for nothing so it feels stupid like “ha ha what if like tony stark haha” its DUMB and i haven’t read a spider man comic for a long time

deadpool/spiderman crossover comic bad. feels out of character a lot. funny concept and full of funny jokes but as far as characterization its bad in my opinion- was made to capitalize off the hype of the ship and we all know it

don cates should be banned from writing comics bc he fucking sucks and ill never forgive him for what he did/tried to do to venom

deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good dea

the venom movie was a lot of fun but it was very ooc a lot HOWEVER seeing some of the cut scenes and scripts you can see that it used to be actually fairly in character for the comics but a lot of scenes with eddie establishing himself as not actually the most nicest of guys (not that eddie isnt a nice guy deep down but he is a good amount fucked up with a big ol hero complex and a problem with ‘i can do no wrong” mentality sometimes) were cut and considering how the fandom for the movie treats him i can see why the cut those bits out bc i dont think movie goers would have liked him as much wich is a shame bc he is a good guy at the end of the day just fucked up

straight white male comic fans are the worst people in the world and breaking their fingers is a daydream i indulge in

matt murdock is a himbo

foggy nelson is a good man who deserves better friends

i can tell what deadpool comics someone has read based on how they characterize wade in their fan works and i have a 80% success rate with it. the most common was the daniel way run but now its the spider-man/deadpool crossover series

soulda used miles for the mcu spidey instead of cannibalizing his story for parts like they did. dick move, Disney

mcu bad

i think just the idea of dc’s Red Tool is fucking hilarious but i dont like his character at all

batman and superman should fuck but they wont :/

matt and foggy should to but the comic industry is afraid of making long running characters lgbt bc theyre WEAK

deadpool need a canon bf they cant keep telling us hes pan and not showing us for reals- hell he could just go on one date or be shown having a one night stand or something- something beyond a damn joke

cable gay. no i will not listen to any other opinions.

im excited to read moon knight i have a book waiting i just have to finish my current one

SCUD the disposable assassin is the most underrated comic EVER and i LOVE IT however i think it ended stupid and bad however it went on fucking hiatus for like a decade and then was rapped up really fast so any ending is a godsend

i desperately want a long-form stand alone series abt wanda wilson bc shes the perfect foil for a good Feral Dumbass Woman comic. think abt it; shell sell immediately bc of recognizable brand, and then she can just go on violent stupid adventures without any of the other dp corps. it doenst have to line up with any canon i just want insane lady dp adventure comic. this is an unreasonable dream but mine none the less

i though that agent venom was stupid

tank girl is fucking amazing and i love it i never understand whats going on and i enjoy the confusion

reading early hulk comics feels like watching a weird, poorly produced old black and white sci-fi soap

there needs to be better, more easily accessed, official reading-order guides published and posted on the walls of comic shops everywhere

the 80s and 90s were the best time for marvel comics and no one can tell me otherwise. that was peak comic time

the worst time for comics was the 2000s and early 2010s

sometimes i am shocked by the art that gets the editors pass in comics. some of it is so bad and im not even talking about the disproportionate ladies

the lego marvel and dc movies are way better than the live action movies and im not even being sarcastic

seriously the 2000s made some horrible comics

i feel like committing acts of mass violence every time someone says comics arnt real reading/stories/implies theyre worth less of any value than a novel

i read the first deadpool comic i got so much that the art itself is so ingrained in my mind that people have shown my just the corners of panels and ive identified them correctly

i distinctly remember the first time the woman at the book store stopped asking me for parental permission to buy the comics i was getting (12yos) because i went there so often that she just remembered who i was and that the adult would say its fine

i refuse to talk about comics with people at cons because i am gatekept or flirted with every single time no matter what and there is no in between. and yea its because i have tits. youd think that eventually theyd learn but gross comic men never do and all the others have adopted the same policy as me so the closest i come to positive comic interaction at cons is standing in the same vicinity as another chick, looking at the same section, and the kinda smiling at each other

i think the avengers are boring. really really boring. the x-men are way better

i related to gwenpool too much when she first started and it scared/offended me so i stopped reading for a while until her character developed more and we stooped being so similar

i have spider-man bedding. i picked it out only a few months ago. its good it makes me feel cool in a very uncool way

watching spider-man as a kid made me wanna be a scientist. watching batman as a kid made me want to do martial arts. i ended up failing chemistry and falling on my face a lot instead.

i had a huge venom toy and a huge spiderman toy as a kid and while i did make them fight a lot i also made them hug just as much. i wanted them to be friends

on that note PETER IS MEAN TO THE SYMBIOTE NOW AND HE DONT EVEN HAVE A REASON NO MORE hes just such a dick about criminal reform eddie and the symbiote aint special with this- he says he believes people can be better but he really doesnt show it. he tends to think people are set in their ways and while this makes sense forthe most part considering how much hewas bullied as a kid/adult (that also contributes to his mild “i protect my own” mentality tho at least he consciously fights that one) it stil pisses me off

i can think way more but i need to sleep i think

#wrything

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alwayskaysanova · 8 years ago

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what did you think of the tvd final? it felt rushed to me and i'm even more upset now ive seen all the interviews with kevin saying it was always meant to be stelena and it feels like a slap in the face that they gave us delena but only by default and the delena we got was so lacking everything i loved about them what did you think?

it’s taken me two days to process everything i felt about that finale and i’m still not fully there yet but i’m gonna try to put my feelings down and then move on

firstly, i had a lot of fun watching it with everyone (specifically @lowsodiumfreaks bc it was hilarious) and i am really glad i got to experience this fandom one last time in all its crazy glory

(i’m tagging @insightfuldamon too bc i like yelling my feelings at jackie bc she understands and i love her for it)

immediately after the finale i was content, i was crying, i was thankful for the show and its characters, i was generally A Mess but i was happy about it

yesterday, once i’d had some sleep and a chance to properly look at the finale by watching it again without the fear of my faves dying i was…less happy with it

i’m gonna start by saying what i loved and still love;

BONNIE BENNETT BEING THE ULTIMATE HERO WE ALL KNOW SHE’S BEEN FROM THE BEGINNING

the bennett witches being fucking amazing

that steroline phonecall bc as someone who never really shipped steroline that was the first time i truly felt it and i was so upset on behalf of caroline and stefan that they didn’t even get a day of marriage before death did them part

caroline/alaric and their girls, the whole convo where alaric mentioned liz and caroline got it and chose her girls over stefan bc she knew it was the right thing to do regardless of her love for him she’ll always put her girls first AND GUYS THAT WAS SO AWESOME BC ONE OF CAROLINE’S MAIN CHARACTER POINTS WAS GETTING THE GUY AND SHE LET THE GUY GO IN THE END !!!!!

BONLENA REUNION!! both times were glorious

all the defan. all of it. amazing. the whole scene where they were trying to sacrifice themselves for each other and i didn’t want either of them to die but then damon chose to save stefan and compelled him away AND I WAS SOBBING SO HARD AND SCREAMING AT CHAR but i’d also accepted it and was so proud of damon bc it was such a great moment in his journey

and then the plot twist with stefan tricking damon and turning him human and then sacrificing himself instead AND I WAS EVEN MORE OF A MESS BC I DIDN’T WANT IT AND HISTORICALLY I HAVE HATED STEFAN BUT I DIDN’T WANT HIM TO DIE but it was beautiful that he went out saving everyone

the whole stelena goodbye was a nice nod to their relationship even though i never liked it i adored their goodbye scene

STEFAN AND LEXI AND I WAS FEELING EPIC

the little daroline scene was cute

caroline seeing elena again!! all the girl feels when they were sat on the bench

i did like all the after death reunion scenes and the nods to past characters even if it felt a little too ‘wrap it neatly in a ribbon/all the fuzzy feels/overdone’

all the donovan family feelings were beautiful

now on to the things i didn’t like;

the delena scenes were flat as hell, felt forced, disjointed and just generally Bad

we got no conversation, no last ‘i love you’, no hint of a flashforward into those supposed ‘happy, human lives’

don’t get me wrong i’m content with the endgame and my 12 year old self now feels supremely justified in all her decision makings but it was so U G H purely bc it wasn’t anything

we got the endgame in name only and i didn’t feel it

i have a suspicion most of it was to do with the very obvious bad feeling between ian and nina, though i have to give credit bc i 100% felt everything delena from nina’s side it was ian doing a terrible job which was seriously jarring after how amazing his acting was in the scene with paul when defan were debating who was gonna die

the kiss was awkward, the handholding was awkward, the looks were awkward, EVERYTHING WAS AWKWARD THEY WERE LITERALLY ON SCREEN FOR A MINUTE AND IAN COULDN’T ADULT ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH IT GOOD LORD

but whatever i’m done, it’s over, bye

/side note; the interviews afterwards mean shit to me tbh bc the writers knew that nina was leaving at the beginning of season 6 so if they had ever truly intended stelena to be endgame they had plenty of time to write it and it’s obvious they’re just throwing every fandom a bone bc delena get to claim the endgame but the interviews suggest stelena get to feel justified in thinking stelena was always meant to be

blaming nina leaving is an utterly shitty thing to do so they can fuck off with that nonsense

the bottom line is they wrote the show, they decided the relationship endgames, they CHOSE THE CHARACTER ENDGAMES

their writing is on them and they need to own their decisions and stop trying to appease everyone or shift blame to one fucking actress like she didn’t dedicate her whole damn sanity to the shit they put her through

like the fact she even came back…they didn’t deserve her that’s all i’m gonna say but then they haven’t been deserving kat graham since she arrived so…fuck them basically

/end side note

i was disappointed that there was no dalaric other than the casual mention, there was no denzo, there was no last bamon scene which was utter bullshit considering they are supposed to be best friends though i loved damon mentioning his utter faith in bonnie and i also loved how as soon as bonnie found out damon was off to sacrifice himself she was like ‘nope i’m gonna save their asses’ once again

i’m waiting for a character to embody the title of ‘Queen’ more than bonnie bennett

still waiting

like we literally got a daroline scene but no bamon scene…what. the. frick?

i don’t care for katherine or datherine or steferine so all of that was a complete waste of time for me and the fact that katherine got more than elena in terms of screen time makes me all types of bitter but once again nina owned what she was given so kudos

i’m happy bonnie’s endgame was her getting the fuck out of mystic falls and i realize that their intention with that was to portray her as strong and moving on whilst still having enzo there whenever she needs him but i also can’t ignore the inherent wrongness of the black girl who has sacrificed literally everything of herself being the one who gets the ‘on her own/off to explore the world’ storyline whilst elena gets her happily ever after with damon and caroline gets her family and the future tease of klaus (also fucking africa?? s e r i o u s l y ? ?) whilst bonnie is supposed to be content with a semi love life she can’t really have until she’s dead ! ! ! n o p e

(like bonnie is literally the only one who ends up alone after she saved every single other character multiple times I’M SO FUCKING ANGRY THAT HER ENDGAME IS COMPLETELY SEPARATE OF EVERYONE ELSE’S LIKE ‘THANKS FOR ENSURING WE LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO GET OUR HAPPILY EVER AFTERS BUT WE’RE FINE NOW BYE’ what the fuck honestly)

but i’m white so i can’t really speak to that racist nonsense and there are hundreds of people in this fandom way more qualified to speak on that than me so i won’t say anymore on it

and then the whole ‘oh we thought maybe matt and bonnie could eventually get together but we left that up to the audience’ bullshit just bc matt’s the only guy left *barf noises*

i love matt but come on (also there wasn’t enough matt for me either)

i never really liked bonenzo but i can deal with it even though it should have been bamon until bonnie died and then i’d have been fine with delena after that bc i am of the opinion that u can have more than one epic love and to me damon was in love with both bonnie and elena and we were robbed but again w/e my multishipping ass will just have to be content with fanfiction

i hate that tyler got nothing but a tiny scene smiling at matt and holding hands with vicki bc they did that character so dirty after giving him such a fantastic journey in the early seasons

listen highkey we should’ve gotten forwood but then klaroline butted in with all its nonsense and tyler lockwood was sacrificed on the alter of shipper bullshit

I HATE THAT WE GOT NO JERLENA REUNION AND IT WASN’T EVEN HINTED AT IN THE WHOLE ‘ELENA DIED THEN REUNITED WITH HER FAMILY’ SCENE

B U L L S H I T

like superficially this finale was good as far as finale’s go, i’ve had to deal with a lot worse, but when u pick it apart and get past the glossy happily ever after sheen it’s kinda false to a lot of the relationships and characters

basically i have a lot of mixed feelings on it but i personally got enough that i can now move on without feeling entirely like i wasted 8 years of my life on the show and 12 years on these characters and relationships tho lbr they never really followed the books anyway

the thing i’m most thankful for about this show is the people i’ve met online through it and if the most i can take away from this experience is the friendships i’ve made with other fans then it’s been worth it

i know some of u won’t agree with everything i’ve said, some might not agree with any of it, but i appreciate u reading it anyway and i hope the finale meant enough to u that u can still be glad u fell into the hellhole that was tvd

#wow i was way more bitter than i thought #goodbye tvd #tvd #i feel like i have more to rant about but i'm Tired and pretty much over it now #long post #anon #replies

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survivoremathia · 8 years ago

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Ep. 11 - "The Time has Come to Slay the Beast" - Duncan

OWEN

fuck you jay have ur damn confession

In other news, I did not too bad on the immunity and then realized that if I win a third in a row I'm going to be the biggest target which was literally the opposite of the strategy I was going for so hopefully someone did it in less than seven. My strategy was good tho I'm pissed like it is literally not in me to not try/throw a comp and it's not good news but like I just WANTED TO DO WELL OK THIS COMPETITION WAS FUN DFSAJKNHFJDSKHFSKJADFH I'M CRYING Anyways! It's final nine and this is the round to make a move, I think. Sam really pissed me off last round being all wishy washy and non-committal. People like Ryan blame Trevor for being controlling but it's literally what Sam wants. Sam wants to be "told" what to do, or to not have an opinion, so he doesn't seem like the leader he is but like... It's so obvious to see through. He acts like he doesn't know what's going on or what other people think, but he does. Take an acting class, betch! I don't know if it's smarter to go for Sam or Ali or JD. I guess like... Sam: Pros, he's the biggest threat of the three and he has an idol and he personally acts like an idiot even though I really wanted to work with him he gives me NOTHING and I want revenge! Damn! The con would be that...he has an idol and he's always paranoid af and he'll probably play it. Another con is that his minions Ali/JD can be easily swayed without him, and someone could scoop them tf up. Ali: Pros, Sam has mentioned needing to get Ali out although idk if it was a lie or not. He's got the best social connections out of everyone and people genuinely want him to win. Cons, he's arguably more loyal than Sam and he's a lot less frustrating to talk to and I like him. Also leaving Sam in the game with an idol after taking out his ally is not a good. JD: Pros, she's the least likely to be expected as a target, she like....is so naive in terms of trying to save Ryan last round and then telling Trevor "oh you're the leader" like, girl bye. Cons, Ali/Sam could still be in the game as a tight duo, and also she seems the easiest to beat in the end of the three.... Idk! I don't know. It also depends on what I can get Logan/Duncan/Lydia/Trevor to agree on, if anything. And also like... immunity results will matter. And Sam's idol. And then like idk what Ryan is gonna do! So! We! Will! See! I! Guess!!!!!! Also Ryan messaged me this morning and like I do want to work with Ryan still but I'm worried that he views me as tight with Trevor and if I say anything to him or give him any info he can use it to turn others against Trevor and I so dskjafhadsjf idk what to do about that but we'll see if he messages me again huh!

DUNCAN

noh wow! Oh Wow!! OH WOW!!!

An alliance called "oh wow!" Just was made between Owen Logan and I, which is good bc I need two of the people I'm closest to to have some type of trust with each other and not come after each other's necks. In other news I crackt the code in mastermind in 5 guesses!! I'm very happy and proud of my score even if I don't win immunity, but it would be a good confidence booster tbh. And one last thing. Whoever told RTP I was leading a charge against him, you better watch your back because I'm saltier than a tortilla chip. I hope they have their boxing gloves on, bc I'm ready to swinG

I'm not going to lie, I'm really frustrated. The touchy subjects really did bother me because me and Ali are both playing this game, we might not be the ones calling all the shots that that doesn't mean we aren't in the conversations. I get were people would say it and I see how it was the easy way to do it, the newbies are getting pulled along. That's fine, cheers. AliWelp, skype killed the hype, and potentially my game. Lydia had proposed this amazing big move for tonight, but I'm scared these tech issues might ruin it. Like... ughhh such a shame. Anywho, on a positive note, I made Final 9! :) Outlasting, 13 people already is phenomenal, so that's amazing! I'm ready to go for broke now. Ideally, I want Trevor,Owen,Sam and Ryan out as the next four boots, as the four biggest threat for the end. My dream F3 is JD and Logan, with Duncan as a possible alternative, and Lydia as a 4th choice. They're the people I think I have the biggest chance of hopefully beating. Lydia is dangerous though, so I don't want her going too far...

RYAN

[7:36:08 PM] Ryan Palmer: i mean we don't really have another choice lmfao [7:36:19 PM] Ali: yeah, we're kinda limited for options eek Gee....limited for options against that alliance....gee....its almost as if....SOMEONE COULD HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO THIS FOR 2 ROUNDS....if only ppl like matt or david who would have voted with us were here....i seriously cant with these ppl....i literally told everyone if they were gonna wait it was gonna be too late....fuck

Rob getting into the jury, I don't know how I feel about that. I don't think Rob was really happy with us when he got voted out.

LOGAN

Sorry I'm late on confessionals :( Anyway! Owen made an alliance chat with me, himself, and Duncan, which I'm happy with. Ali pitched the idea to me to have an alliance with Lydia, myself, JD and Ali. That sounds workable, and suddenly I see the ground beneath my feet in this game. I need to work out how to get to the end from here - I still do not have a solid f2, which worries me. I could go for a f3 with Owen and Duncan and play the middle of those two, but Trevor is? Talking to me? Wild. I guilt tripped Ali so badly last round because he told me the vote was for David and *insisted* that, and I nearly voted for David, but thanks to Duncan... whew. Saved that. But now Ali feels super guilty. Ethos, logos, pathos? Using them all, but pathos was my friend then. Good use of pathos, actually. My english teacher wishes. David is gone now anyway, which I feel sorta bad about, all the boys in this game are super cute and too pretty to be getting early boots. I do trust Duncan, but I'm not 100% how much. At least we aren't viewed as a duo. But he said it himself, we were two people brought together by unfortunate circumstances, and in my experience, that never works out. But I'll stick with you, for now. We'll see. At this point, I can't win this game. I maybe could get fifth? Maybe. If I really work it. My UTR game won't cut it, I really need to be MOR, or else I'm getting the block. Time to show my value to people, or become fifth juror - one of the two.

OWEN

I think as of right now the ideal final three for me would be myself, Logan and Lydia. Getting there though with that specific group is...not necessarily the easiest thing. Especially because I've basically sworn not to screw over Trevor or Duncan. And I don't really want to have to put either of their names down, but I know they're bigger threats than I am. Maybe I could beat them in the end... But do I really want to beat Trevor and have him lose in the finals a third time? I want Trevor to do well and I want to see him win. But I want to win too! So I'm at a bit of a conflict here. Ideally, Sam/JD/Ali go now and probably another one of them goes next. Maybe it could be like... Sam and JD or Sam and Ali. Then at final seven I think it would be good for me if Trevor left. It'd have to be at seven because that way, Trevor/myself/Lydia could vote one way and then Duncan/Logan/Ryan/Thing 1 or 2 (whichever is left) could vote Trevor. Then at a final six, maybe the other Thing (Ali or JD) goes. Final five would have to be Duncan. And the final four would be me, Ryan, Lydia and Logan? Then Ryan goes fourth? Maybe? That's one way to get there but that counts on a lot of things going right with immunity and idols and also that counts on me being very aware of Trevor and Duncan both leaving and potentially having a hand in that and that's....not good! NOT GOOD. ugshfsdfsd

OWEN

SOOOO! JD won immunity which limits my options to Ali and Sam I guess. But I did have a plan. Trevor mentioned that Sam told him that Ali has to go eventually. So my thought is that Trevor tells Sam that it's time to do Ali. And so Sam thinks we are voting Ali, he knows the votes will be me Trevor Logan Lydia and Duncan against Ali. And that way like maybe there's a chance he just votes Ali Idk!!! But then in reality the five of us vote for Sam. That way the idol is gone, guaranteed. He either plays it on Ali and leaves or he votes for Ali and keeps his idol. The only problem is if he doesn't believe us and plays it on himself instead, which makes me think maybe like.... idk maybe Logan uses the extra vote they supposedly have and we split the vote somehow. I guess that plan would depend on what ryan is doing. And I wouldn't want to tell ryan the plan in case he still goes for Trevor. Idk!!!! I guess we could also make it seem like we are going for Sam and vote Ali instead but I think it's more realistic to do the other plan since sam has expressed interest in voting out Ali anyways??? It's hard calling shots because I'm not immune this time, but Trevor does still have an idol as well so maybe he could play it just in case. Idk!!! We will see

I won immunity! I'm so excited right now, those puzzle skills my preschool teacher was talking about finally paid off! *happy dance*

SAM

HEY! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET RIGGED OUT OF THE GAME. oooooh hosts you really had to do that huh I would be beyond stupid to not think that I was the target of the other side this round--people know that I'm close with Trevor, but I am willing to drop him at any time. So this round, even though I knew I was in some hot water, I was like "oh, I have Trevor's idol in my possession, and I have one that he's willing to play on me. I'm like a poached egg not fully hard boiled--I'll be fine." THEN OH THEN Duncan steals Ali's ability to go to the Labyrinth and YOU KNOW HWAT HE FUCKIN FINDS?????? HE FINDS A DAMN ADVANTAGE THAT ALLOWS FOR ME TO NOT VOTE AND MAYBE SUPPOSEDLY NOT HAVE ANY ITEMS PLAYED ON ME????? FUCK THIS????? the worst part is that I don't know what I'm up against! because owen isn't being forthcoming to trevor! so i don't know if trevor can play an idol on me at all or if i can't play an idol just on myself but I know I can't vote! so i need to give an extra vote to someone who will vote on my side!!!!! i hate!!!!! this!!!!!! so now i actually have to scrape for literally everything while other bitches don't even have to lift a finger!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHH!! hosts if i go out tonight i love you BUT this is a shitty way to go that i don't really have control over!! call me malcolm binch!

sorry for all my yelling like i just thought this one was meant to be. i was ready!!!!

OWEN

So the plan is pretty much set in motion. I think Logan and Duncan are on board to vote Sam. AAAADN duncan apparently found a power to cancel sams idol???? Which would be???? Greater than Frosted Flakes. But this just makes it extra clear that's Sam CANT KNOW anything is going on. Which is where I might've messed up. Trevor said he would talk to Sam but I got the feeling he wasn't really doing it and I told him about Duncan's power oop and he was sketched out by Duncan, as he is. Cue the argument about whether or not Sam should go!!!! Yay!!!! So I've basically just gotta convince Trevor to do it. And to keep his mouth shut. And he's....impulsive. I don't think he will. The good thing is he's coming here tonight!!!!! So if I need to I think I can convince him in person. I just have to hope by then it's not too late :( I'm not afraid to flirt my way to Trevor's brain to try to get him to follow through with this. All is fair in love and war.

OWEN

talked to sam and he's high key paranoid what a surprise I brought up doing Ali....screams. He said no, pretty much, and mentioned doing Trevor instead which to me seems sketch cause idk why he would suggest that so easily to me of all people. He wasn't being very clear, like usual. I basically told him to wait until final seven SHSKDJDJJD to do Trevor and Idk he said he wasn't seeing the picture and so when I asked him like... what the picture is what he thought the next few votes would be he said he didn't think that far cause he's not there yet. My bullshit radar is goin off!!!!!! :~) I'm not sure what the convo meant. It's the first time he truly wanted to talk to me. But he did bring up just going for Logan so idk. We agreed to talk again in a little bit. And Trevor will be here in person soon. And I just need this all to work out because i think if it doesn't then I'm toast Know this tho if Trevor ruins this for me then I'm not holding back anymore!!!!!!!!!! I'll help him pack his bags!!!!

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/JyDLok_-pDI

So this vote is going to be reealllly messy I think. So far as I know: Owen and Duncan want to vote out Sam, Trevor doesn't wanna do that because ovbs, Sam gave him the idol and he feels like Sam will probs be usefully (sorry for the bad abbreviation, Im just lazy right now). From what I've heard Trevor wants to vote Duncan now though because he, I'm guessing, wants to break up him and Owen. WHY the fuck are you not voting OWEN!? I've run the idea by Ali and I want to get Trevor to play the idol for ether Ali or Sam cus, why not~ get the idol out of Trevors hands and if we can get the idol played on someone other then Owen then why not vote for Owen? It pisses me off the Trevor doesn't want to talk to me, I mean, okay your with your boyfriend who is in the game but if he asked it's not hard to lie and say I'm freaking out over thinking and Trevor is chilling me out. I mean, I'm 100% on thinking that Owen thinks of me as the goat so he'd believe it. My plan would be so vote Owen. Right now the majority is split on Owen and Trevors side. Owens: Owen, Duncan, maybe Logan = voting Sam or Ali, we've heard Ali as a second or a 'go vote this one' to get some throw away votes. Trevor: Trevor, me, Ali, Lydia, Sam, Ryan = voting for Duncan to break up Owen and Duncan? My plan is a three way split for Sam, Owen and Duncan, then on the revote we vote our Duncan (sorry hostys Im sure ties suck) but really I just want to fuck up the votes and vote Owen. Hoping that Trevor will use his idol on Sam, assuming he cant use it on himself... I guess we'll see.

OWEN

So!!!! Of course Trevor gets here and tells me that they're all voting for Duncan!!!! Lol!!!!!!! He wasn't even gonna tell me except it was more convenient for him since we were about to be together for 48 hours. Anyways. Thanks for lying all day and then planning on leaving me out to dry ;~) looks like I won't have any trouble lying to you from now on huh!!!!!!! Anyways, I immediately got to work convincing him to do Sam instead, and then we called Lydia finally and talked to her about it. Except Trevor also told everyone all of this SHIT and I'm so mad I literally like. At least he bought me chipotle. Anyways!!!! Lydia was planning on telling Ryan to vote Sam and also they all think that Duncan's rags make it so that Sam can't have any idols played on him even from other players. Idk it's messy and i just want to sleep. I'm hoping I convinced them to switch their votes. Sam needs to go now that he knows I was after him. Also lol it's funny cause I asked Trevor as soon as he walked in if He told Sam to message me lmao I knew it was fishy af Idk it's all fishy. Why does Trevor feel the NEED to ruin!!!!! Djdjdjdjd Jesus. Also surprise he's not giving me the idol. Or playing it on me. I hope it bites him in the ass when people like duncan and ryan really do wanna vote him out and I'm not there to cover his ass. Literally DJDJDJD fuck all this At this point I'm just hoping it's not me. Idk if it would be. I've worked too hard today for it to be me, tbh. But really? Damn

this game gave me acne and soiled my crops

So I might have tried strong arming Trevor into this split by saying that Sam is easily dropped if the vote goes wrong. I don't think that he liked that cus not hes talking to Ryan about voting Sam. Which I don't get but it would mess up the split.

ALI

This vote has just aged me! Sam is maybe going, which sucks. Duncan is a liar, Logan is lying to me. Sam gave me his extra vote though, so hopefully TLJoA can vote togethed next time, as a majority. Samit was a good run, folks

DUNCAN

Heyyyy! Umm idk if this will be my last confessional or not until allstars but here we go. The time has come to slay the beast. It's time to make a move. It's time to take down sam.in short. I was allegedly the original target of rtp plus the unholy trinity, and Lydia and Trevor were on board. Then Owen talked to them and convinced them to vote Samuel only because I had my handy rags. It was a conditional agreement. But umm hopefully no one else will play an idol on sam, and hopefully everyone who is telling me they're voting sam is telling the truth. The thing is, if I get voted out tonight it's okay. I didn't come here to make it to the end and win. This is a move I need to make to help me win. So if I'm going down, I can say I did what I said I set out here to do when I applied. I came to win, not to be a coward

#allianceofone #episodes

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