#its difficult cause they are still out baby... we basically raised them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kirbsmakemesmile · 4 months ago

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I finally finished my Kirby gijinkaverse lore 😧

Remember, if you ask one question about the lore stuff after reading it all, I will draw one doodle of one character of your choice 😊😊😊

Send the questions through my ask box and your character request through my dms please!!!

Ok! Here we go! 😊😊 (please dont mind any typos)

Slight Tw: some described g0re, and implied plans of sui during one part

Ok let’s do this ok guys

Origins of Nightmare:

Nightmare was the original dark matter, and was always around because of peoples bad dreams. The thing is, they never fueled his growth because the fountain of dreams and the star rod was what kept him from becoming a huge threat. But, as generations had passed, the fountain of dreams became less of an important protective device, and more of a relic or a roadside attraction, to put it bluntly. The people had lost the knowledge of its meaning and didn’t value their peace anymore and they took it for granted, not even really acknowledging how good they had it. Anyway, a long time passed and nightmare is a puny threat to everyone, and he’s tired of it, so with what little power he’s saved up from aaallll that time saving up on bad dreams, he makes his move. He goes to popstar and shatters the star rod completely. And since the people didn’t acknowledge the importance of the star rod anymore, he went by basically unnoticed the whole time, and this began the start of chaos across the universe. Since nightmare grew to such a ginormous threat after the destruction of the star rod, the people figured they needed something big to defeat him too, and they created the GSA (Galaxy Soldier Army) and the star rod finally became a completely forgotten weapon.

Star rod and star people :

Nightmare became very successful in his plan to take over the universe at first, but because the star people (Kirby, Mk, etc.) were directly connected to the star rod (meaning they wish through the star rod, and so genetically they are connected) This is what made them a difficult species for nightmare to defeat because of the sheer power they had. (Unlike other species that would just wish on any shooting star and not the star rod) But the destruction of the star rod also had an effect on that too. The star rod allowed for wishing to be a very safe and reliable process, being able to wish any planet, any location, anytime.But without the star rod, you were not guaranteed this kind of safety, and now the children could be in danger during that process, sometimes even accidentally making wishes Wishing is a force of nature so the wish isn’t granted by a certain being, it just happens, the star rod kept that force in balance so without star rod it’s out of balance now. The wishing system is super screwed up so any large amount of emotion being said out loud could cause a wish. And the only reason why the babies of the star people were still being born with such power was because their parents still contained that star rod gene in them, so it still passed on through the wishing process. So in order for Nightmare to win, he had to destroy this species from the inside out.

Creation of Meta Knight:

Nightmares target became the firstborn child to the heads of the GSA (Sir Arthur and Lydia). So after the wish was made and the star had fallen to the ground, he made his move. He kidnapped the baby and took him to be experimented on. He turned him into a tracking device/ ambush plan, and gave him powerful, unnatural features that no other star person had. Nightmare later returned the baby to his parents, to be raised until the time was right for his plan to begin. He was raised along with three other siblings and was treated as a normal part of the family, so he never felt out of place. This was exactly what nightmare wanted

Nightmare’s plan:

At 25, Meta knight learned his true identity, through a vision from nightmare. He learned that he was a pawn to be used for nightmare’s efforts, and would be the downfall of the GSA. After finding out the truth, meta knight left the base feeling that he would be a disgrace to the GSA, and also out of fear that staying any longer would facilitate nightmare even more. However, this only opened the door. After he left, Nightmare took the opportunity to ambush the head GSA base and completely destroy it, as well as sending more beasts to meta knight after he had left to force him to return again in seek of refuge. Upon returning he saw that the base was completely destroyed and by leaving, he allowed that to happen (nightmare knew that if he didn’t leave, the ambush would be unsuccessful because the experiments he did on him made him a very skilled fighter, and nightmare needed that for his own gain, but against him he would not win). His family was nowhere to be found and neither were the other soldiers. So in this moment, nightmare physically appeared to him and tried to convince meta knight to join him. But after he refused, he took his eyes… (I’m sorry I don’t know how to describe it but he left him like severely injured like he actually ripped through his face and he was like horribly like lacerated on his face it was really bad and he was blinded like permanently).

Meta knight’s recovery:

He was left there for a while and he would’ve died, if he wasn’t found by two warriors (Jecra and Garlude) that came looking for others after surviving the ambush attack. They had their kids (Joe and Sirica) with them and were preparing things to to leave the planet with anyone they found. When they found him, they carried him into the ship and headed to one of the only peaceful planets left in the universe, Popstar. There, they cared for his wounds and helped him heal from actually being horribly ripped up and yeah.

Evil moment before warp saves him:

(Tw: implied plans of suicide in this part) After Meta knight was mostly recovered, he could only really see light, shadows, and vague shapes. His wounds had started the healing process and he was able to move around, so he left to the very edge of the woods, and he stayed there all day waiting until night. He contemplated the many things he had lost, his family was gone, his health and his vision had deteriorated, and the only life he had ever known turned out to be a lie. He went there in a bad mental state and didn’t think things could get better, so he planned to try and you know… yeah. After standing there for so long he broke down and he started like actually losing is like yelling like you are loud dude… basically just pouring out his heart in that moment of like sadness and confusion and wanting something to change the course of his life.

Warp star and star rod:

Now before I get back to the story I need to explain a little about warp. Warp star is a sentient being like galaxia, and she is also dually the star rod. After being broken, she had to be regenerated again because it’s just a law of nature, she exists with the universe no matter what, so she will always come back even if it’s in a different form. In order for her to be reborn though, she had to heal, and this process took years and years of regeneration. And for her to even be born, she had to choose a star person to be born with and to be her guardian for life, Kirby. This meant they both would rely on each other for power in the beginning stages of life (like how some sharks are born with a yolk sac, both rely on each other to an extent the shark needs food and the sac needs blood flow ☝️🤓). Anyways, Kirby and warp would be born together and that made Kirby her guardian, she is his galaxia.

Kirby:

Okay so remember how I said the wishing system was screwed up because warp wasn’t there to keep it in balance YOULL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENS 😧😧 When Meta knight started pouring out his heart, it was read as a wish, and so Kirby was sent down to him, and he accidentally made a wish.😧 Kirby was born with warp star in his hands and they relied on each other as a source of power. So meta knight found the fallen star and realized exactly what had happened.

Post wish stuff:

After hearing him out in the forest, Jecra and Garlude were able to find him and Kirby and took them back home to be taken care of. They helped him raise Kirby in the beginning stages, and helped fashion a visor to be put in his mask that allowed him to see light and shapes in a little higher definition, which helped him navigate better and see Kirby a little more.

First 5 years:

For the first 5 years in cappytown raising Kirby, things go very smoothly. Meta knight starts training with Kirby in order for him to get his agility and skill back, and hoping that Kirby may learn from him as well. He has learned about Kirby’s copy abilities, and has become a fully involved father in Kirby’s life. (He’s so devoted because while it seemed that this was another stumbling block in his life, it was exactly what he wished for in the sense that he wanted something to happen that would completely change the course of his life) Also in cappytown, Dedede has barely become king and is just now learning to handle the throne (this is important for later)

After 5 years:

After a long and peaceful 5 years living with his son in cappytown, Meta knight received a notice from the GSA notifying former soldiers and warriors that their presence was needed urgently for the next attempt to to defeat nightmare. They claimed that the GSA had made changes to its system to ensure a “safer” environment for people with kids and were convinced that this time they would win against nightmare. Feeling obligated, and also a little hopeful of maybe seeing his family again, he left with Kirby to help the cause.

The issue with the GSA:

After the ambush at the head base of the GSA it seemed that Sir Arthur and the rest of meta knights family had perished during the ambush, but it’s actually all the contrary. When the ambush happened they were able to escape using one of the ships, and they left to one of the only other peaceful planets in the universe, Ripplestar. But because meta knight had left before the ambush, they couldn’t find him, and assumed that he died during the attack as well. So why didn’t they come back to help this second time? Arthur’s leadership in the GSA prevented people from serving that had small children, or people that physically could not serve, and he just had a very good handle on the leadership in the GSA, because he knew that yes the cause was good, but soldiers are still people, not machines. He valued everyone and after the ambush he felt he had failed the GSA in the sense that some fault in his leadership allowed for the ambush to happen, so he resigned his position to take care of his family, and removed himself from the GSA entirely. So what’s the deal with the GSA now? This new system that made the GSA a “safer environment” was really all just propaganda to get as many people to fight for freedom in the universe. And while in theory yes it’s good, like let’s get people to fight for the good, they forgot the importance of valuing each soldier as a person, and they really only just needed numbers. So what they did for people with kids was, they created a ship that would send your kid into space for years, until the war was finally over. The kids would be in cryo sleep the entire time until their ship was programmed to land, and when they landed they would be granted the knowledge of what happened to their family/ parents.

2nd war:

When Meta knight arrived to serve in the 2nd war, he realized what would happen and had no other choice but to rely on the GSA’s technology to protect Kirby. The second way started out promising, but turned out to be the most unsuccessful attempt yet. By pushing their soldiers to the limit, they overworked them and it was just bad. That’s why there were so little survivors in the end.

Garlude:

Let me pose to you this situation okay, we have Garlude, and she is the best warrior okay (it literally says that in the anime) and we have another really good warrior, Meta knight, and they’re both gonna get this legendary sword okay. Logically Garlude would not lose, and she would get the sword right? At least that’s what everyone was thinking right. Anyways, when they get there, they start fighting this monster to get the sword and he gets caught and is about to die, but this gives Garlude an opportunity to grab Galaxia to retrieve it successfully, but through trying to get Galaxia, she finds out the sword was not meant for her, she gets shocked and realizes Galaxia was meant for him. Unfortunately she has no other choice but to grab the sword and use it to help meta knight, because he’s losing really bad. So she sacrifices herself by using the sword to free meta knight, and she’s electrocuted. While this didn’t kill her at first, it made her extremely weak, and vulnerable to the monster, ultimately leading to her demise. So when Meta knight, a great warrior but not the best, comes back with Galaxia but no Garlude, don’t you think rumors would start? I think it’s worth thinking about. This is how Sirica, got the wrong idea about meta knight, and how Nightmare continued reminding Meta knight of his purpose and how he would always be used against the GSA and the warriors no matter what. He was the cause of one of his closest friends’ death.

Jecra:

Jecra’s death was a statement from Nightmare to Meta knight, once again reminding him who he really was. Jecra was kidnapped during an attack by some of nightmares beasts, and he was turned evil by nightmare. Upon returning, meta knight realized exactly what had happened to him and it was like looking in a mirror, he saw what nightmare had planned for him, and desperately tried snapping Jecra out of it, but it didn’t work. Meta knight had no other choice but to go against Jecra in battle. This resulted in him having to kill his only other friend left. Once again making him the cause of his friends’ death. All of because nightmare never wanted him to forget his identity and purpose.

After the second war:

At the end of the second war, most of the warriors in the GSA had died and there were very few survivors, including Meta Knight. He escaped and once again headed to popstar to seek refuge. This is basically where the anime starts

KRBAY:

The show is basically what this time was like from Kirby’s point of view, he sees dedede and a scary tyrannical leader and the one that orders the monsters, and everything is very “kids show” through his eyes, which isn’t necessarily how it happened.

King dedede had been king for about 9 years, but his leadership has been questionable, but he was doing everything in his power to keep the peace the cappytown even if it meant doing things that were wrong. King dedede filtered what could and couldn’t be seen by the cappies, basically making them ignorant to the whole war that’s going on. I guess like all of this just to say that the show is like a very kid like depiction of what actually happened.

Kirby returns to popstar:

About a year after meta knight had returned to popstar after escaping, Kirby’s ship crash landed in cappy town. (during this year that meta knight spent in Cappytown by himself, he became very close with tiff, because she was interested in who he really was as a star warrior. She disagreed with King Dededes method of leading, and she actually wanted to know what was going on, so that’s why him and tiff are very close) The whole plot of the anime continues during this time, and since Meta knight had barely returned from such a traumatic war, he felt that he wasn’t capable of taking care of Kirby anymore and that’s why they’re not very close during the show at all.

Sirica:

Even though the show depicts Sirica coming after knuckle Joe, I do what I want and I say she arrived before Joe did. When she arrived we all know what happens we’ve seen the show, she thinks meta knight killed her mother which isn’t true and the show kind of brushes over it, that’s not what happened. After their conflict, he fully describes the story like he zones out and starts retelling everything like it happened and it’s kind of difficult to hear for everyone, but it gives Sirica the reassurance that her mother died a hero and for the greater good. She does not leave right after this, she stays in cappytown for a while, because I don’t think she would leave I think she wants to hear more about her mom and the only guy that knows a lot about her is Mk so it only makes sense.

Joe:

Similarly to Siricas conflict with meta knight, knuckle Joe comes to cappytown seeking the warrior who killed his father, we know how it goes we’ve seen it. And just like last time after their conflict, he fully retells the story, except this one is particularly more difficult for him to tell, because he actually did kill his father. Since nightmare made him one of his pawns and made him fully evil, meta knight had no other choice but to you know like… yeah. So after zoning out again and telling the story in full detail it’s very difficult for everyone to grasp, knuckle Joe does get the closure he needed, but the people (WHO DIDNT REALLY EVEN KNIW A WAR WAS GOING ON) hear that meta knight actually had a crazy war story and was a crazy fighter, and that’s how this persona of meta knight started being built up even more and people thought of him as like wow so fighter like he’s so noble and so cool. Basically treating him like a fictional character now instead of an actual dude.

Joe and Sirica:

After staying in cappytown for a while, learning about their parents and how they cared for injured soldiers, and were very noble people, they left into space to find survivors from the war, and other star warriors, to help with the final battle against nightmare that would be coming very soon.

KRBAY finale:

As the show nears its end, there’s a bit of foreshadowing that comes from meta knight, where he says Kirby will soon be going up against an even bigger foe, and the next episode starts the finale. That means he knew that Kirby would have to fight nightmare very soon, how did he know that?? Basically nightmare gave him a vision and this was like the worst thing nightmare had in store for him, in that vision he told meta knight that now Kirby would be going up against him whether he liked it or not, and he was going to take what was most important in his life, Kirby. (It’s not like super important to know this but I thought it was cool so i out it in) ANYWAYS, the finale starts and meta knight, sword, blade, Kirby, king dedede, and Tiff (she snuck on board) head into space to fight nightmare. They get there and yeah we all know what happens, and then they get surrounded by a bunch of nightmares ships. And that’s when they notice three of the ships actually helping them out. And then it’s like big reveal, it’s Joe, Sirica, and Sir Arthur and his family WHAAATTTT 😧😧😧 I THOUGHT THEY DIED (that’s his brain)

He kind of disassociates during the rest of this battle just because so much has happened and he knows what going to happen and it’s just a lot, which is why his reaction to seeing his family again is so like 😮 instead of actually freaking out. Ok let’s fast forward to the end okay.

Final battle with nightmare:

Finally we get to this final battle with nightmare, and in the show it depicts tiff being the one that gets taken by nightmare and Kirby goes after her, but I honestly think that it would just be a lot more meaningful if it was meta knight just because this final battle represents his fear of nightmare, controlling his life, and just always being around, so for the sake of this story, I’m changing it to that. Anyways, as Kirby is going after them to save meta knight, this is basically meta knights worst nightmare come true, and his fear is what is fueling nightmare at this very last battle to make him look much bigger and stronger. This is all kind of like a show to make the person fighting him think that they need a huge arsenal to defeat him, when in reality, all they need is the star rod. So at the end when Kirby reveals that he is the guardian of the star rod, that’s how he’s able to defeat nightmare. By using the only thing that could defeat him, he destroyed nightmare forever in an instant. In the show, nightmares defeat is only shown for a very small portion of the entire finale, which I think really drives the point home that nightmare was all show. He played this role of being a huge threat to hide the fact that he had such a big weakness.

Post nightmare’s defeat:

After successfully, defeating nightmare, and nightmare enterprises, everyone returned home safe, and meta knight and Kirby left Cappy town to go and see his family after all these years. They spent about six months visiting and came back to Cappytown after that.

Meta knights revenge:

After returning to Cappy town from visiting his family, he came back to a completely different town. While in many aspects, Cappytown had improved, for example, king dededes leadership, media, and education had improved. Many of the cappies continued to choose to be ingnorant to the efforts of the GSA and basically all the crazy war stuff that had happened. They treated star Warriors as fictional characters to put it bluntly, and didn’t value the freedom that they had even during the wars. One example I can give you of the Cappies ignorance to everything that was going on, is in one of the episodes where they collect little figures of some of the star warriors and soldiers, they collect these figures and don’t even know their actual names. (There was even a collectible of Jecra and like it’s kind of messed up like why are you making a marketable figure of a man that died???) It’s just very representative of how they view star warriors as a whole, just a collectible or a character. So when Meta knight had arrived to Cappy town, the people treated him like he was a celebrity and people fawned over him and made merchandise off of him and it was just really weird. This really irked him, and he kind of lost it, because a couple years ago when he lived there and he was going through things, nobody cared about him except tiff, but now since he’s a “hero” everyone loves him and idolizes him just because he lives in their town. So, his solution? IM GONNA TAKE OVER THIS ENTIRE PLACE AND IM GONNA MAKE THESE PEOPLE STOP BEING SO IGNORANT AND LAZY AND SEE WHAT I AND A BUNCH OF OTHER WARRIORS WENT THROUGH 🐺🐺🐺🐺 (this entire invasion is really just a manic episode, he completely loses it and it’s just all build up from all the crap he’s had to deal with from the cappies) During this time is when we really get to see the true power nightmare gave him though. Similarly to the evil frog thing from that one episode, he goes into this trance like state where all he can do is wreak havoc and he can’t recognize anyone he’s up against. So when Kirby goes to fight him, meta knight doesn’t recognize him, and that’s why he’s so brutal.

After meta knights revenge:

Afterwards, tiff finds him on shore and she is really disappointed. She and him end up talking things over and it’s end up okay but she realizes that he still has very serious issues to deal with. He gets fired from working for dedede, and gets a slap on the wrist but otherwise is fine (dedede didn’t want conflict so he chose this route to keep everyone happy) The people recognize that he’s also a person too, but still idolize him, and honestly this kind of raises his ego. (Until he gets humbled later) After all the games happen up until planet robobot, and that’s when it gets crazy 😧

Susie haltmann:

After being stuck in an alternate dimension since her childhood, Susie finally escapes when a rift is opened, and she finds herself on popstar. (That happens right as Magolor loses and vanishes to that dimension, they like switch spots) With no idea where she is, she steals a star ship from a garage of what seems to be some celebrity or something, idk they had a lot of cars and ships (you’ll never guess who METAKNIGHT OMG yeah) and she heads into space to find her father again. After finding haltmann works, she goes inside to see her father again after all these years, but he doesn’t remember her. Desperately she tries to make him remember, but nothing works. She ends up resorting to being a secretary, hoping maybe one day her father will recognize her again, and plotting to steal the machine that stole her father from her. She’s forced to work in a company she knows is corrupt, just to try to get her dad to remember her.

Planet Robobot:

After getting captured by someone as he entered haltmann works, Meta knight waited in a room for a representative to come talk to him, enter Susie Haltmann. Susie explains a new program called the “Mechanization program”, a new experimental initiative, which gave the person robotic armor that worked with the body to make them more efficient in fighting, and overall just an upgrade to an organic body. Two things to keep in mind though, one, Susie wasn’t really trying to do anything drastic, all she was trying to do was do something big enough in the company to impress her father so that maybe he would remember her, and two, Meta knight had recently (in previous games) been shown to be obsessed with improving his fighting skills, fighting on his own to prove his strength, and proving he’s the greatest warrior ever ( amazing mirror, meta knightmare ultra, etc.) so to him, this program sounded like free plastic surgery to hi so obviously he said yes. Before starting the mechanization process, he had to have a checkup, to make sure his health was up to par, which is how she found out he was blind.

Meta knights’ sight regained:

Before the mechanization started, Susie had to fix his eyes. She replaced them with robotic prosthetics that would help the mecha armor navigate, and after years of being blind, he would finally be able to see again. (His eyes turn yellow permanently after this game so it’s like proof) After surgery, he was extremely overwhelmed, and tried escaping to see Kirby and all his other loved ones, but since he had already signed the contract, she couldn’t let him leave, and the mechanization process continued.

Mechanization:

Technically he wasn’t turned into a cyborg, the mechanization process was more like giving the person mechanization armor that moved for them, meaning the person didn’t have to really even move, and the armor would control the person inside. The person inside acted as more of a skeleton. So the armor wasn’t a part of you (like she didn’t rip him apart and replace his entire body with robot ( except for his eyes but she just freaking made him see again so pllplppt)), it was more of an add on. (In the game the armor is completely off by the next cutscene so yeah no it wasn’t crazy cyborg stuff sorry) When he fought Kirby, he unfortunately couldn’t see him yet, because the program in the mech suit completely took over his vision, so he didn’t see Kirby until the very end.

End of robobot:

After fighting star dream and winning, he saved Kirby and they both land safely on popstar once again. Kirby doesn’t realize at first that Meta knight can see him, and meta knight stays very silent for a while taking it all in, but when Kirby finally realizes, it’s really sweet and they hug and cry and it’s just like GHHHHUHHVHJHHH 😢😢😭😭

From this point on, meta knight slows down a lot and stops trying to be insanely like in gonna be the best and I have to be strong and yeah, he retires from being a warrior like that, and spends time taking in what he hasn’t been able to see for almost 20 years.

Meta knight and Susie:

During his mechanization process, he became very good friends with Susie. Since she had just recently come back from an alternate dimension, he was the first person she could talk to, and they both had very similar traumas that they could bond over (losing their family for an extended time, feeling isolated, being related to a very bad person/ being, etc.) and meta knight felt he had, and always would have, an eternal debt to her for giving him his vision back. So there was never really intense conflict between them, they were just friends, until having to be separated at the very end.

After robobot:

After a much needed break, meta knight became a lot more peaceful and appreciated his family and his life a lot more, he finally felt truly happy and optimistic towards life in general. As for Susie, she did continue her fathers legacy by mechanizing different planets and people, but not in the way it seemed. She helped bring clean energy to different planets that needed help after haltmann works damaging their ecosystems, and she provided prosthetics for people who needed them, and helped many people regain their vision and hearing. (The reason why she was made to look like a bad guy is because since the people of popstar found out that she turned THEIR PRECIOUS META KNIGHT into a cyborg, they immediately assumed the worst and twisted her story around to make her look like she was a horrible person like her dad, which was just not true)

Star allies:

Star allies is really when Meta knight and Susie grew close. Finally being able to work on the same team helped them become even better friends, bond over shared experiences, and eventually lead to their relationship. They found someone they could truly talk about their trauma with, and it was just really great all around and it’s just sweet okay they both get their happy ending.

Forgotten land:

During forgotten land, meta knight has truly settled down and retired from his life of fighting like crazy and being crazy fighter

( I mean unless in one of the next games he comes out of retirement but we’ll see) and he focused on the slower life, he settled down with Susie, they wished for a kid, and life is really good. He will always continue to train Kirby, and anyone else, but after years of so many traumatic things happening to him, he’s now able to relax and heal from it all. 😊😊

Timeline:

Mk 25- Kirby is born

Mk 30 K 5- Mk called back to the second war

Mk 34- he comes back to popstar after the second war

Mk 35 K 6- Kirby returns to popstar (Kirby only aged one year during cryo sleep, so he should be 10 but he’s physically)

Mk 37 K 8- when the show ends and they fight nightmare

Mk 38 K 9- when meta knights revenge happens

Mk 44 K 13- when robobot happens

Mk 46 K 15- star allies and forgotten land

#kirby #kirby series #Kirby gijinkaverse explained #kirby gijinka #Tw implied plans of sui

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daenqyu · 4 years ago

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— they accidentally confess to their crush

includes: shinsou, bakugou, midoriya, todoroki and hawks

warnings: swearing

a/n: thank you for requesting <3 i love this idea! it’s so cute🥺 also, hawks’ may be a little longer than the others because it’s my first time writing for him and i got a bit excited👉🏼👈🏼

ps: i don’t mind writing for hawks if it’s a headcannon and/or texts! so feel free to request him :D and yes, this is a repoost because the algorithm hates me.

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @tetsuruo )

shinsou hitoshi:

it would happen so randomly and out of the blue

as i said before, i think shinsou is a really reserved and quiet type of guy

but that seems to vanish whenever he’s around you

he’s more talkative and constantly goes out with you so you guys can have some quality time together

you also make him really nervous

he’s pretty chill with everyone and seems to not give a fuck about most things

but with you?

that’s a whole different story

whenever you keep your gaze stuck on him when he’s talking and his eyes meet yours, his heart never fails to do backflips because fuck you’re so cute

(oh to have shinsou think i’m cute D:)

ok back to the actual hc,,,

you two were hanging out in your room, listening to music and just talking

even tho your best friends, shinsou never really tells you much about his personal life

of course you know the basics like his hobbies and all his favorite things

but he never talks to you about...crushes or anything

and you don’t like that because :( friends are supposed to tell each other this stuff, right?

it’s fun and makes the bond even stronger

so you decide to ask him because why not?

“hey shinsou?”

he’s sitting down next to you on your bed, your legs draped over his

which makes him feel all warm inside

it’s stupid and definitely not a big deal,

but it’s little things like this that make him fall more and more for you

“yes?”

“do you have a crush?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him in a teasing way, although he’s not even looking your way

a part of you is nervous to hear his response

because unbeknownst to shinsou, you reallyyy like him

and have been crushing on him for quite some time now, but since you’re so sure the feelings are one sided, you don’t tell him

he’s too invested on the game he’s playing on your switch, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he concentrates

so he almost misses your question

and when he does answer, he’s not even paying attention to the words that leave his mouth

“apart from you? no”

it takes him a good minute to process what he said

meanwhile you’re sitting there like :o

you certainly weren’t expecting THAT

like it’s a good thing!!!! but you’re kinda flustered

especially when shinsou finally looks up at you, eyes widened in surprise at his own bluntness as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say now

“wait! i didn’t mean it like that!”

“you didn’t?”

he notices the slight pain in your voice and the way you move away from him slowly and he’s quick to apologize

“shit, okay...yes i like you but i didn’t say anything because i don’t want to make things weird between us or ruin what we have right now”

he’s looking everywhere but you

because he doesn’t exactly want to face you when you reject him

but you don’t ???

instead you giggle and before he can ask you what’s so funny, you climb on his lap to hug him, causing him to blush furiously

“i like you too, toshi”

the nickname makes him hug you even tighter while he hides his face on your neck

it was such a cute confession and even when you two start going out, you never stop bringing it up

which makes shinsou extremely embarrassed

“hey remember when you confessed and-”

“y/n, we’ve talked about this”

“oh come on! you were so adorable”

he pouts at you

“were?”

people think he looks so scary but he’s actually a whole ass baby

you roll your eyes before leaning down to give him a sweet kiss,

“you’re such a baby”

“hm, your baby”

“oh my god you did not”

yeah no, he’s in love with you👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @bakugousmyboy )

bakugou katsuki:

i feel like it would be pretty difficult to have bakugou accidentally confess directly to you

he knows how to control himself and his emotions so i doubt he’d actually ever do something like this

however,

he’s not that good at hiding his crush on you and mostly everyone on class 1A knows the boy is an absolute sucker for you

except you because apparently you think he’s just being nice

and everyone else is like wtf????

like he’s ALWAYS screaming at everyone

but when it’s you he doesn’t

in fact, sometimes he even lowers his voice so it won’t bother you

so that behavior is the one that caused him to be stuck in the situation he is right now

he sat in the common room with kirishima and kaminari, trying to eat his food in peace but the two idiots, as he likes to call them, wouldn’t shut up

he had completely blocked out both of their voices, focusing on finishing his meal and getting the hell away from them

until he heard your name being mentioned

“dude when are you gonna ask y/n out? everyone knows how much you like her so might as well you know,” kirishima bumps his shoulder against the blonde, only to receive a glare. “get some action”

“yeah bakubro, she’s super cute too” kaminari buts in and bakugou is about to punch them both in the face

“shut the fuck up. i don’t like her” bakugou scoffs

“but you’re such a softie for her”

“huh?! i treat her the same as i treat all of you extras!” oh but he knows he’s lying, you can’t even compare to any of your annoying classmates

kirishima smirks, “i’m pretty sure you’ve never once, raised your voice at her”

“so? that doesn’t mean shit”

kaminari looks at kirishima and the redhead nods at him, giving him the green light

“well since you don’t like her, you wouldn’t mind if i ask her out? because i’ve been wanting to-” kaminari can’t even finish his sentence before bakugou grabs him by the collar of his shirt

kaminari yelps, looking over at his other friend for help but he moves his head quickly, knowing better than to get involved

“you try and make a move on her and i swear to God i’ll blast you all the way across japan, dunce face”

bakugou’s voice is threatening and low, and kaminari knows he means every word so he quickly raises his arms in defeat and nods his head

“okay, okay! i swear i won’t”

little do they know that you’ve been standing behind them for a while now

you’re happy to know your feelings are reciprocated

but of course you want to tease bakugou about it

“hm did my ears deceive me or does boom boom boy have a crush on me?”

kirishima and kaminari take that as their cue to run away to their rooms, leaving you two alone

“tch, how long have you been standing there?” even as he glares you down, he can’t hide the blush on his cheeks

he didn’t want you to find out this way

or at all tbh

you walk over to him, a wide smile on your lips

“long enough”

afterwards you ask him if he wants to go watch a movie with you the next day and he’s lowkey mad because he wanted to ask you on a date first, but he doesn’t say no

you end up having way more fun than expected and you actually confirmed that bakugou was a softie for you

(turns out you were the last one to find out because literally everyone else knew)

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )

midoriya izuku:

OKAY HE’D BE THE MOST FLUSTERED OUT OF ALL OF THEM

he can barely function around girls in general so like, what does that tell you?

he likes you so much but he’s so scared

but he’s also so sweet to you even before you start dating oml

midoriya is a sweetheart, we all know this

and he pays so much attention to you

like if you are the mall one day and you see something you really like but can’t buy it for whatever reason well…

a few days later he gets it for you

he would say something along the lines of, “you seemed to really like it so i got it for you”

“you didn’t have to, izuku!”

“but i wanted to”

you’ll try to pay him back in some sort of way but he absolutely refuses

he loves pampering you

yet whenever you try to do the same he doesn’t let you and it’s: ✨annoying✨

anyways,

you were supposed to go to the movies

but midoriya had forgotten he had some homework to do, which was due the next day

“i’m so sorry y/n! i completely forgot, but i promise i’ll finish quickly” he tried to reassure you and you chuckle at the boy, so cute

“it’s okay, izuku. i don’t mind waiting”

you lay down on his bed, trying your best to keep your eyes open

but as much as you tried, you eventually fell asleep against the soft sheets, your best friend’s bed being just too comfortable

midoriya sat on his desk chair, writing down the answers as fast as he could so you guys could go watch the movie you were so excited about

he let out a sigh of relief when he finished, before taking his phone out to check the time

6:37PM, the movie starts at 7PM so we still have time

he stood up to tell you he had finished, but was met with your sleeping figure

your eyes were closed and soft snores left your slightly parted lips, hands gripping his sheets to your chest

the curly haired boy almost combusted at the sight

you looked so peaceful, so pretty

a smile grazed his lips as he made his way over to the bed

he sat down beside you, quietly admiring your features

feeling the mattress dip thanks to his weight, you began to wake up, but quickly shut your eyes when you noticed midoriya was looking at you

truth be told, you just wanted to scare him by suddenly jumping

but his next words made your breath hitch

one of his hands moved up to your face, resting it gently against your cheek as his thumb massaged the skin

your heartbeat was out of control and you forced yourself to calm your breathing so he wouldn’t notice you were awake

his touch was so gentle and sweet, you couldn’t bring yourself to push him away

“i wish i could tell you how beautiful you are” he whispered and if you hadn’t been so close to him, you probably wouldn’t have heard him

after hearing him say that you couldn’t stay still

you opened your eyes, a smile quickly spreading across your features as you turned around to face the green haired boy

midoriya almost had a heart attack when you moved, hoping you hadn’t heard him

but based on the mischievous grin you wore, he knew you had

“well you just did”

“y-you were awake?!”

“yup, i’m glad i was tho”

hE’S INTERNALLY SCREAMING

your gaze is flirtatious and you’re still grinning and he’s just >_<

“now let’s go or we’ll be late!”

midoriya can only nod before following you outside

once you’re on your way to the movie theater, you notice midoriya fidgeting with his fingers, his eyes glued to his shoes

you smile as you suddenly take his hand in yours, interlacing your fingers together

midoriya looks at you with a nervous expression, what is she doing?

“you know, you’re beautiful too”

you were looking at him with nothing but love in your eyes and he felt so embarrassed yet excited at the same time

because holy fuck you just called him beautiful AND held his hand???

he thinks it can’t get any better than this

and then it does when you kiss him a few weeks later😳🤚🏼

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @ambershaydeoffical )

todoroki shouto:

like bakugou, i don’t really think he’d be clumsy enough to accidentally confess

however, he does like to speak his mind and isn’t afraid to do so

he’s just really honest and blunt

way too honest

which gets him in trouble sometimes but oh well, that’s just the way he is and everyone is pretty used to his personality by now

though, after figuring out he liked you as more than a friend, he started to think more before talking

sometimes you liked to get his opinion on your outfits and/or hairstyles

so you’d drag him to you room and force him to be honest and tell you which one he liked most

it doesn’t matter what you wear, you always look beautiful

he wants to say that, but instead he goes:

“they all look good, i think the purple shirt really fits you tho”

“i was thinking the same thing!”

he doesn’t want to scare you off or make things weird

so he forces himself to hold back on his bluntness

at least when he’s with you

but one day he just can’t help himself

you were on your way back to the dorms after a tiring day at school

todoroki walked next to you, eyes glancing over to you from time to time so you knew he was listening\

you were currently rambling about how shitty your love life was

claiming that there must be something wrong with you since no one seemed to pay attention to you- at least romantically

“i mean seriously, am i doing something wrong or is everyone i’ve met just not for me??”

you had your cheeks puffed out, a pout on your lips as you kicked the small rocks on the floor

todoroki smiled softly at your complaints, thinking irony could be quite funny sometimes

until you spoke up again,

“maybe i’m just too ugly or boring, that’d make more sense”

todoroki almost stops dead in his tracks to see if you have a fever

how could you say that????

you’re so gorgeous to todoroki, and interesting

you’re probably the first girl he’s ever liked this much in his life

and you have the audacity to doubt your worth just because other people can’t seem to appreciate you??

uh uh, he’s not having it

and so, the words come out before he can even register them properly

“if you were as ugly as you say are then, i don’t think i’d like you as much as i do”

your eyes widened and you stopped walking, wondering if you had heard him right

todoroki stops walking too, and once he realizes what happened, he’s looking away, trying to come up with a valid excuse as to why he said that

you, however, can’t stop staring at him

finding the way he glares at the ground adorable

a sense of happiness takes over your whole body when he doesn’t say anything to deny his sudden confession

because he cannot lie to you

you walk towards todoroki until you’re standing right in front of him and before he can even question what you’re doing, you plant a sweet kiss against his cheek

“good thing the feeling is mutual”

your words make him smile and he looks so happy

probably the happiest he’s ever been

and you feel proud of being the one responsible for that pretty smile of his

neither of you really rush into making things official

but the way todoroki lets you cuddle on his left side whenever you’re cold or how he waits for you every morning so you can walk together to class makes it more than clear that he really likes you

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )

takami keigo (hawks)

he’d be the type to not give a fuck about it

like he already confessed so what can he do?

nothing. exactly

he’s so cocky and flirty the whole time oml

he’d be shocked for a few seconds, but after seeing you were way more flustered than him, he’d just start teasing you

in a loving way of course

he’s also surprised you hadn’t noticed earlier on, considered how much he flirts with you, but then again, that’s part of his personality so

kinda makes sense you didn’t suspect anything

but he’s so cute and soft for you 🥺

okok so it happened the same day you got your results for your midterms

(you’re a college student here lol)

you had studied your ass off for this tests

staying up until 4AM and having to ditch your friends when they invited you to go out

so you were really positive

you squealed when your teacher hands you back the papers and you see the grade on the right corner

you felt happy to know that all your hard work wasn't in vain

the nerves you had been feeling since the day you took the midterms quickly vanished and were replaced with the feeling of pride

as you walked out of the building, you dialed the person who you wanted to share the news most with

he picked up after the second ring

“what’s up?” his voice was raspy and you ignored the butterflies that appeared in your stomach at the sound

“hey, i have great news!”

“care to elaborate?”

“you’ll find out when i get to your house”

“oh? and who said you could come over?” his tone is teasing and you can practically hear the smirk on his face, which makes you roll your eyes

“i did, now bye. i’ll be there in five minutes and order some pizza to celebrate” you don’t even get hear his complaints because you’ve already hung up

anyone who saw the way you two acted with each other would automatically think you guys were a couple

you were rather affectionate with each other; occasionally holding hands while you walked down the streets and even calling each other by your first names

that was just the bond you two had, and you loved it

he brought you so much comfort

it was almost ridiculous the way he was able to make you smile by simply calling or texting you

you had grown quite attached to the number 2 hero, but you constantly told yourself you needed to snap out of it

because you were friends

nothing more and nothing less

oh but how you wished there was more to your relationship than just that

you shook your head, as if that could help you get rid of the thoughts

true to your word, you soon found yourself outside of keigo’s house

the college you went to wasn’t that far away from there so

you pushed the doorbell and waited around two minutes before a sleepy looking keigo opened the door

his hair was messy and the way he rubbed his eyes and kept yawning let you know he probably had been taking a nap

you scoff, “were you sleeping?” you ask him as you walk into his home, smiling at the familiar scent

he chuckles from behind you, following you into his living room, “maybe, but you woke me up”

“can’t believe your lazy ass earned the number two spot”

“what can i say? it’s a talent,” he shrugs before sitting down next to you on the couch, resting his face on his hand. “so, what’s the good news?”

“so you know i took my midterms last friday, right?” keigo nods. “well, i got my results today” he raises his eyebrows in surprise and waits as you look for the papers inside your bag

once you get them out, you place them in front of your face so he can see for himself

keigo smiles proudly and it only widens when you look up at him expectantly, biting your lower lip

“holy fuck, that’s amazing! you did so good dove”

the nickname makes you weak on the knees but you’re quick to brush it off

you should be used to it, since keigo has been calling you that for quite some time now, yet it never fails to make your heart beat insanely fast

you nod excitedly and put the papers down before you start talking about your experience

keigo can’t help but admire you

you look so happy and cute

it makes him want to kiss you

he wants to shut you up by kissing you, and it sound mean and disrespectful but you just look so gorgeous 😡

and instead of randomly kissing you, he blurts out a confession

“math was probably the hardest but i managed to pass it too, surprisingly, so i-”

he doesn’t even know what you’re talking about anymore, too focused on your smile

“God i like you so much”

you shut up instantly

did you hear that right?

or was your mind playing tricks on you?

keigo looks away momentarily, before locking eyes with you and tilting his head to the side, waiting for a reaction

which he gets soon after because you can’t handle the way he’s looking at you

you look away, hiding your face the best you can

“w-what did you say?”

he smirks after hearing the stutter in your voice

he gets closer to you, until he’s right in front of your face, before saying:

“i like you, y/n”

you don’t know what to say

what are you even supposed to do???

keigo just confessed

your best friend and crush just confessed to you

that’s not something that happens everyday

“i um, like you too” you don’t look at him and he almost chuckles at your shy expression, but decides not to embarrass you any further

“happy to hear that”

he doesn’t say anything for a while and you wonder what the hell is going through his head right

he’s probably just messing with me. oh my God he probably is and i just said i liked him too so what-

your train of thought is cut off when you feel the blonde ruffle your hair while looking at you lovingly

you slowly look up to him

“i’m proud of you, dove”

fuck

“t-thanks”

“now, i think this is something worth celebrating and i’m not talking about pizza. so let me take you out”

“it’s fine, keigo. you don’t need to-”

“can’t hear you, give me about fifteen minutes and then we’ll get going”

you try to tell him no, that it’s fine and you can just eat pizza but he ignores you and still takes you out to eat

i’ll say it again: he’s so sweet :(((

he pays for the food and gives you his jacket when you get cold

he even treats you to some dessert !!

he also kisses you good night when he drops you off at your house <3

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ryosmne · 4 years ago

Text

Three brats??

Dad!Sukuna x f!reader

So this is basically a comfort fic, featuring dad! Sukuna because the brainrot was too much. Ok so, the reader and Sukuna have a son together, yes their son is Yuuji, I know this is usually the single father Sukuna trope, but I wanted to give it a go, feedback is always appreciated. Thanks for brainrotting with me @likeab-o-s-s cause this is the reason this exists. That's all from me enjoy reading.

Warnings: none really, just family, heartwarming fluff.

The air was crisp and fresh, unusually refreshing for the beginning of summer. Parents were already gathered outside the daycare, Yuuji, y/n's and Sukuna's son attended, patiently waiting for their kids to run in their arms again.

Sukuna arrived a couple of minutes before the final bell on his motorcycle, he took off his helmet, leaned back on his bike and waited for the familiar little pink head of hair to come wobling to him.

The three mothers next to him, scooted a bit closer to him to get a better look nothing he's unfamiliar with and no one can blame them, Sukuna is a sight for sore eyes. Leather jacket with the sleeves rolled up, extenuating his board shoulders, exposing his tattoo covered skin, v neck white t shirt, allowing his toned chest and even more of his tattoos to show and a simple black pair of pants hugging his muscular thighs in the best of ways.

In the past some of the bolder ones had mustered the courage and asked him if he was a single father since they had never seen his son's mother, but with a laugh Sukuna brushed them off telling them how his lovely wife was a working parent and her schedule just didn't match the daycares. Maybe the very unconventional wedding rings they got weren't the best idea in this situation, even though they were extremely beautiful and unique.

"I really admire the work you put in the little guy" Sukuna's gaze met a woman who attempted to strike a conversation, oblivious to what she had meant by her statement he replied, maybe these three minutes would pass faster talking about normal things and not stressing about work.

"Don't we all put work on our kids?" He spoke calmly with a slight smile that he always wore when talking about Yuuji.

"Yeah, we do, but it still must be hard I can't imagine what you're going through" Sukuna's mind went to the worst scenario. Was Yuuji a trouble maker at school? He is a very well behaved child, both him and y/n made sure to teach him proper manners and how to be polite, that couldn't be it right?

The bell rung, and kids made their way out of the daycare, Yuuji in the blink of an eye was hugging his father's leg, exited to see him after the hours he was gone. In a swift motion Sukuna put Yuuji's little backpack on his own back and scooped the boy up in his arm.

"Yuuji's a pretty good kid, hes never been difficult" Sukuna smilled again resuming in the short conversation with the woman next to him. "Single father's like you don't get the credit they deserve". She spoke again smiling sadly down to the little pink haired boy who seemed too fixated on the earrings his father was wearing.

Sukuna finally understanding what this whole thing was about, chuckled, this had happened before after all, he should've known.

"I'm not a single parent, speaking of that your mom said she has a big surprise for you after dinner" he said directing his attention to his son again, the woman next to him quickly fumbled an apology for missundertanding, to which Sukuna replied to with a simple 'dont worry about it'. He placed Yuuji on his bike, put on both his and his boys helmet and drove off.

Y/n was still stuck at work, thankfully her husband would cook dinner tonight cause overtime was killing both her and her mood, good thing she finally had a day off tomorrow.

Y/n checked her phone to see how close she was to going home only to find a text that Yuuji's teacher had send her that was obviously meant for her husband.

Hello Mr Itadori, this is Mrs Laura from the day care. I was wondering if you wanted to get launch with me after school tomorrow, you can bring little Yuuji too, I'm awaiting your response, have a nice night.

What the hell was that? Well y/n's number was in Yuuji's contact information, she chuckled at the words displayed on her screen but she couldn't really blame the teach, Sukuna was a walking temptation, she knew that first hand, hell she fell head over heels for the dangerous looking guy who hid a heart of gold under his hard exterior, but the teacher could at least check who the number belonged to.

Y/n run her last errands and made sure to pick up Yuuji's surprise before heading home, she even tipped Sukuna off so their son wouldn't know what hit him.

Y/n made her way inside the family house, tossing her keys somewhere on the living room couch.

Yuuji immediately after hearing her car in the driveway came rushing down the stairs, jumping around her like he always did when she came home.

"Mom, mom you're home." The happiness was evident in the boys face, his smile was wide when y/n dropped to his level to pick him up and spin him around

"Yes I am little devil, did you give your father hell like we agreed?" She spoke in the happiest of tones with Yuuji still in her arms. Another set of arms engulfed her frame making her halt on spinning the little boy.

"So you're telling him to be a little brat now huh?" Sukuna's breath tickled the side of her neck and ear as he rested his head on her shoulder and wrapped his strong arms around her waist. "Welcome home love" he spoke again giving her jaw a ghost of a kiss.

"Daddy is the food ready" Yuuji spoke from y/n's arms, Sukuna only laughed at his son's appetite, and directed both him and y/n to the kitchen where he had already set everything up.

"Mommy, what is a single dad?" Yuuji asked in the middle of dinner in typical fashion of his, any question he had from something he heard through the day would always come up during dinner.

"Well Yuuji, single fathers are the fathers who raise their kids alone." The young boy seemed to think about his mother's words before speaking again. "So its just a daddy ?" Yuuji asked again with his eyes growing a bit sadder, his mother nodded, and Yuuji's eyes started to water.

"Baby what's wrong?" y/n asked. "Hey buddy what's going on?" Sukuna was growing quite concerned too. Yuuji burst in tears leaving his seat, climbing up his dad and hugging him tightly. Sukuna was rubbing his back to comfort the young boy and y/n's hand was stroking the kids hair in an effort to calm him down. "B-but why did that lady c-call you that, is m-mommy l-leaving?" Everything seemed to click for Sukuna, y/n was still confused but in the calmest sweetest voice said "Yuuji, baby look at me, I'm not going anywhere ok?" And the boy left his father's arms and clung on to her like his life depended on it.

Sukuna cracked a few jokes and lightened Yuuji's mood so he could enjoy the rest of his dinner, which went pretty well, he was his smiling adorable self very soon after his parents reassured him that none of them were ever leaving his side and the boy was now drawing with crayons in the living room. He seemed to have completely forgotten about the surprise his father mentioned when he picked him up.

Y/n and Sukuna were doing the dishes in the kitchen, each one talking about their day, Sukuna explained the awkward conversation he had at the daycare that sparked Yuuji's sadness, y/n took a turn in talking about how her son's teacher, basically asked Sukuna out on a date but messed up and texted her. "How about you set up a date and you show up? I mean it's you she texted right?" Sukuna joked "Babe, that's cruel" y/n chuckled at her husband's mischievous nature.

"So you've got everything ready?" Sukuna asked. "yeah who'll bring him over?"

"You do it I'll keep Yuuji busy."

Sukuna joined Yuuji on the couch. "What are you drawing little brat?" Y/n heard him ask their boy in the usual sweet tone he had with him. She made her way down the basement, where she kept the surprise since she came home. Yuuji was going to love this, Sukuna was too, she knew she was already in love as well.

Y/n climbed the stairs quickly, and snuck up behind her son, who was occupied by his dad, she gently tapped the boys shoulder.

"A PUPPY" Yuuji announced exited making sure his voice was still soft not to scare the eager dog that his mom brought to his arms. Yuuji gently held the puppy that was licking his face as he was in a fit of laughter and excitement. Sukuna was as exited as his son and y/n had a huge smile on her face too. Their son had begged and begged for a dog ever since his best friend, Megumi got a black German shepherd puppy. Of course y/n and Sukuna wanted to comply to Yuuji's request right away, but they took time to teach little Yuuji everything there was about the responsibility of owning a dog. They took him to dog cafes and shelters, so he would be the perfect little dog owner, they taught him patience and responsibility beforehand. Sukuna visited the local shelter and decided with y/n on a white Shepard puppy that Yuuji always pointed out in your visits because 'he looks like Megumi's puppy they can be friends like we are' who can say no to that little adorable devil?

The puppy momentarily left Yuuji's arms to lick Sukuna's face. "Now we've got two little brats and a big one in our house." He laughed, enjoying the moment.

Y/n was admiring her son and husband as well as the newest member of the family with a smile plastered wide on her face, life was indeed beautiful.

The next day, both Sukuna and y/n were waiting for Yuuji to finish school, since y/n had the day off. Sukuna had his arm protectively around her because this time, others were staring at what was his, but he was proud to show her off to everyone, even in a place as mundane as his son's daycare.

#jjk sukuna #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen drabbles #au ryomen sukuna #au sukuna #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #ryomen sukuna x you

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moxfirefly · 4 years ago

Text

So I’ve been working on this for a little while now after a comment @supershiny-raven left on one of my post. I present to you:

How the others find out you and the turtles are dating.

Raphael entered the Lair with you in his arms. His brothers stumbling by him, Leonardo actually tripping.

The gang had gone to drink at Vern’s fancy penthouse, a round of drinks had turned to four and before anybody had common sense he had broken out his fancy wine collection.

That had truly been everyone’s undoing.

Yours as well.

Raphael the tank had pretty much only gotten buzzed, even more so upon seeing your state he figured he needed to somehow get you and everyone else home safe and in one piece.

“Where do we dump Donnie?” April had one of his arms slung over her shoulder while Mikey had his other, they had quickly found out the purple banded terrapin was a fan of wine. “Whatever is flat and comfortable, you think you can manage him and Leo?” Raphael nudged his older brother who had dozed off while resting against the couch.

“Yeah yeah brah, we totally-“ He unceremoniously let his brother fall on the nearest cot, poor April taken along for the ride. “Shit, sorry girly”

Raph shook his head, you groaned stirring awake and tightening your hold on him. Raph was basically carrying you with one arm beneath your rear. Making his way towards his room he gently placed you on his bed and set about the task of removing your shoes. “Hey hey mister, I got a boyfriend” You squinted at the large terrapin at the end of the bed.

“Yeah I heard, lucky guy gets to put ya drunk ass to bed, where’s your makeup bag baby?” He got up when you half hazardously pointed at the dresser.

Pushing yourself up a little on your elbows you watched him gather your face creams and a pack of makeup wipes. He sat back down but next to you and motioned towards his lap. “C’mere, let’s get your face off” You giggled when he manhandled you onto his thigh and took out the wipes. Slowly and in the most excruciatingly loving way Raphael set out to wipe off your makeup. Each stroke removing foundation and eyeshadow, you mumbled something he somehow understood in your inebriated state. “Yeah yeah I got ya kid” With all the careful dexterity he developed over time, he gently removed your eyelashes.

“Somebody has been paying attention” You giggled, feeling the buzz in your body shift into grogginess. Raphael looked inside the bag, adding some cream to your face to hydrate it. He examined his work, a lazy smile as he caressed your face. It felt bizarre he could actually do this, touch a beautiful girl and do something so silly as help them out with their face routine. The two of you had been rather quiet about your relationship, enjoying it all to yourselves.

“Ya were the cutest drunk at that party” He ran his knuckles across your chin, You smiled sleepily lifting up enough to catch his lips in a languid kiss.

The door creaked open and there stood April, her own slightly drunk face breaking out into a sweet smile. The two pairs of eyes that landed on her read ‘get out’ and ‘keep your mouth shut’ slowly April backed up nodding with a giggle.

Then there was a ruckus of what Raphael only assumed was April tripping and Leo drunkly laughing his ass off.

____________

Michelangelo

Oh he was screwed.

So insanely screwed.

How could he misplace something he kept on his person so diligently?

Mikey turned over everything he could in his room, currently he had done just that with the mattress but to no avail.

His phone was missing.

His phone with that very scandalous polaroid you’d taken for him.

Mikey had nearly passed out when you gifted him the picture and to his delight he had stuck the polaroid on the back of his phone in its clear phone case. He kept his phone on him all the time, sure he’d have to be a little sneaky about placing it down but he could manage.

Now though? He was about to have a coronary.

Okay, currently in this disaster there was no trace of it. This meant he’d have to scavenge the living room.

Where his family was.

Mikey swallowed and scurried out with a silent prayer that it would there.

Raphael and Leonardo were currently watching a basketball game. They seemed pretty engrossed and perhaps wouldn’t notice that he was scouring the ends of the earth for his actual girlfriend’s literal boobs. He peaked aglance at the couch, his large brothers had to take up so much space to make it worse.

“What are you looking for?” Came Donnie’s voice from the kitchen. The orange banded turtle froze, he tried giving him a nonchalant shrug. “Just checking how I can give Raph a wedgie ya know” Donnie raised a brow ridge, mug of coffee to his lips.

��I double dare ya numbnuts, the Knicks are down ten points and I’m pissed” Raph grunted as the opposing team landed another shot and Leo sighed exasperated with the outcome. His eldest brother got up thankfully which allowed him to take a look at the that side of the sofa. To his dread but relief there wasn’t anything.

Where the fuck was his phone?!

“Hey snot face, can ya order a pizza?” Raph grumbled as the game seem to worsen, a pizza could fix up his mood. Mikey frozen, mouthing a series of ‘shit shit shit’ as he frantically looked around.

“Oh man that would fix this terrible game, can you order it with extra bacon too?” Leo went straight to the fridge to grab something to drink. “Order some cheesy sticks too will you?” Donnie asked as he poured himself another mug of coffee.

Yes all of this sounded wonderful and his stomach did grumble but

HIS GIRLFRIENDS BOOBS.

Raph had scooted further to grab his own soda from the coffee table and just as he did he saw his phone. Relief washed over him but to his immense dismay and terror, the back of his phone was facing up. Which means the clear case he had was displaying the infamous polaroid he had been gifted.

You had simply asked him one thing.

‘Please don’t let your brothers see my tits’

It all felt slow motion, his eyes going wide, his hand diving to the couch and just as he did, Raph’s quick reflexes kicked in unfortunately and he turned to grab his youngest brothers wrist. “Ya ain’t giving me a wedgie man!!”

Raph’s eyes followed Mikey’s hand and then his eyes bugged out.

“Why are there titties on the sofa?!” Raph made for the phone but only got a face full of pillow cushion. He snatched the phone before it could be grabbed by anybody else. The red banded brute grinned as his brother hugged the phone to his chest. “Advert your gaze you perv!” Mikey all but shrieked.

“I’m not the one walking around with a titty pic as my phone cover” Raph grinned, just to make matters worse Leo and Donnie had gathered.

“Mikey why are you walking around with a random porn pic on your phone cover” Came Donnie’s disapproving tone.

“It’s a polaroid” Was all Raph needed to say.

The silence that fell was brief, then a series of ‘ooh’s’ sounded off and Mikey all but frowned and felt his cheeks heat up.

“No way! That can’t be...” Leo was incredulous. The relationship between Mike and you had remained rather on the down low. It was fun, a little secret away from the world that could stay between the two of you.

“Mikey, are you and y/n a thing?” Donnie asked exactly what the rest wanted to know but Mikey dreaded to answer. He sighed dramatically and tucked his phone into his pocket, shooting Raph a glare as his green eyes followed the motion.

“Listen dudes she made me promise that nobody would see that picture and I’ve already broken that cardinal rule thanks to this jerk face” He frowned at Raph, who in turn rolled his eyes.

“Well maybe keep the picture in your wallet or your room?” Leo sipped his soda with a matter of fact tone.

“Or as a background on your phone cause honestly man” Donnie smiled to himself when Mikey shot him an incredulous look. “Why’d she give you that?” Raph inquired sneakily with a smirk.

“For our three month anniver- AH YOU DICK” Mikey huffed out as Raph began to laugh, it was so easy to trick Mikey when one played their cards right.

____________

Donatello

Investigating could take a toll on anybody, even if by all means you weren’t a detective it still didn’t mean you wouldn’t find yourself researching and investigating crime. It seems to be part of the job description when you befriend four giant crime fighting terrapins.

In away you could help, you did.

Everyone had huddled around the living room, the coffee table littered with pictures, clues and all sorts of pieces of evidence that could possibly lead to the culprit they were trying to catch. You had set down a stack of papers, eyes already screaming for a break. Leo and Casey were at the kitchen talking, Casey had just clocked out and was reporting back what the nights investigations had gathered. Raph and Mikey were checking out the pictures Casey had brought over and Donnie naturally was researching on a laptop he’d placed there.

You had nudged him to come over and join the huddle, and secretly you just wanted him close. The two of you were dating, quietly and unannounced, but in those first few stages of just wanting to be glued to one another it was a little difficult to do said glueing.

On a few occasions with prying eyes preoccupied with their investigating, you had reached over to rub his cheek, his sleepy eyes spoke greatly of how tired he felt. Donnie had been at this already for a while, you’d been there with him along the way.

With a stretch of his arms, Donnie yawned and rolled his neck. The clock on your phone read 3:45am, he was due for a nap at the very least. “Why don’t you lie down, I can keep helping out here” You reached over again and took off his glasses, he smiled tiredly but shook his head. “I’m fine, I can keep going” Despite his entire body language screaming otherwise, Donnie would always soldier on.

By the time another hour passed, people consumed enough Coffee to give themselves an additional pulse (and somebody committed the mistake of giving Mikey said coffee) the investigation had died down. A few walls were hit but a few leads had come from it as well. Everyone was ready to call it a night (or morning).

Casey yawned, twisting his neck to let out a few pops. “Okay who’s staying and who’s coming with me?” By the sounds of April softly snoring against an equally happily snoring Raph, it seemed she would stay. Casey had a few hours of sleep to catch on before heading for his next shift and you had to preoccupy yourself with the same before tackling a night shift at your job. Donnie’s tired eyes expressed how he wanted you to stay over but he knew work was closer to your place.

“I guess I’m carpooling with you” You told Casey, already grabbing your jacket and bag. A quick hug to Leo and Mikey, a bow to a recently awaken Splinter and you were next to Donnie.

He’d been sitting on the kitchen table, arms crossed and looking closer to being k.o’d.

It was the sleep deprivation honestly, on both your behalves.

Because you had spread your arms for a hug and so had he, but your face had met in the middle and before either of your foggy brains could comprehend what was happening you had smooched him.

On the lips.

For about a minute.

Minute and a half honestly.

You both froze, the awake members of the family staring with raised brows. Donnie furrowed his brows, lips pursed in a thin line, you still had your own in a kissing motion.

“Well at least we solved one mystery tonight” Spoke Mikey with a snicker, Leo nudged him.

Donnie sighed by shrugged. “Not exactly how I wanted to announce this so yup, I’m her boyfriend, she’s my girlfriend, please hold all inquires for a later time when I’m actually awake” He pulled you in again for a hug, and another kiss (greedy boy) and instructed Casey to deliver you home safely.

With a blush but albeit happy look on your face you waved everyone off.

___________

Leonardo

Keeping a relationship quiet had never proven to be so difficult. Truthfully it came easier when the circle of people surrounding you was bigger, but a close knit one? Everyone suddenly had the powers of observation up to God level.

But Leo’s ninja skills were God level too and you knew how to keep your trap shut and not sigh like a love struck teenager every second you saw him. So it had gone good, real good for a while. The thrill of maybe sharing an intimate kiss while others we’re around was a sensation you never expected to enjoy. When it was time to leave, Leo would ‘walk you’ home safely and by ‘miracle’ run into a few thugs on his way back.

Because there’s no reason a brisk ten minute walk to your apartment should turn into an hour and a half.

Raph wasn’t buying but cared little to stick his nose into it. Donnie was too busy to bother. Mikey had an idea but decided due to bro code not to voice it.

His father though?

Splinter knows what’s going on because well, he’s Splinter. You live long enough with four giant sons all with their unique personalities and traits, you pick up a thing or two about parenting pretty easily.

And Splinter is a phenomenal parent.

Both Father and Mother to his sons.

So naturally he’s irked that his eldest is sneaking out at odd hours and trying to conceal his return. Because Splinter feels that out of all four, Leo has always been the most open with him. Once Raph hit those pre-pubescent mood swings, Donnie began to teach himself all matter of subjects and Mikey was too busy trying to set a new record of heart attacks to give his father while skateboarding; Leo always remained the same.

Even with all the acolytes Leo has achieved in his ninjutsu training, he still had his hiccups and his father would never spare the opportunity to turn into a teaching moment.

So when Leo had kissed you passionately on his way out of your window, you still in nothing but the skin that he had dedicated a fair amount of time in kissing and bitting. He thought he was being slick, he thought he was going to ninja his way into the Lair, into the showers and straight to his bed.

What he didn’t account for was his father waiting up on him. A mug of hot tea on the kitchen table and hands clasps together in what Leo recognized all to well as ‘Dad Mode’.

He’d been caught with the proverbial hand in the cookie jar. His gear was half hazardously on, mask slipped down around his neck and for Christ sake he was holding a shoe. It was 6:30am and he smelled like a girl, a pretty girl no less. The jig was up, especially when his dad motioned for him to come forth and seat opposite him at the kitchen table.

“Dad I can ex-“ Splinter held up a finger and pushed the mug of tea towards his disheveled eldest son.

“My son, I am not angry” Which was truthful, he wasn’t, in fact he was ecstatic that Leo had found somebody, somebody good and somebody that loved him for he has. Long ago he had accepted the pain that his sons would not find suitable partners and the ache it would come with for them. But here was Leo, nervous and trying to adjust his clothing because he’d been with a woman, a woman he clearly loved.

“I like y/n, she is kind, thoughtful and caring to us” Splinter emphasized each trait with a tap of a long nail on the table. “She should be treated with respect, I hope I have instilled that teaching unto you, a lady is to be respected Leonardo” Leo nodded at his fathers words, he nodded and prayed that the underwear he had stuffed into his pockets wouldn’t magically transport on the table to further humiliate him.

“So please my son, do not lie to me, do not come home late in this state and not expect me to know what has transpired” Dad voice was on, coupled with the sympathetic eyes though, man Splinter was good at this shit.

Leo hung his head, clearly ashamed of his dishonorable doings. “Hai, sensei” Even as an adult being scolded by his father never stopped hurting.

“And please do tell her that there isn’t anything hide, she is welcomed in our home, I would not mind getting to know my future daughter in law a little bit more” Splinter enjoyed the way his son nearly choked on his tea.

“Perhaps I can tell her a few anecdotes of your growing up” He smiled when Leo looked at him with pleading eyes. “I believe I have a few embarrassing ones she will find most delightful” He stood up and placed a hand on his sons broad shoulder. “I’m sorry dad, sorry for sneaking around and not telling you” He was earnest in his words and Splinter bowed his head.

“I know, thank you Leonardo” He walked away, hands behind his back.

Leo sighed and pulled out his phone, shooting you a quick text.

-so my dad wants to formally meet you... as in introduce you as my girlfriend.

It felt nice to hit send on that message.

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt Leonardo #tmnt Raphael #tmnt Michelangelo #tmnt Donatello #Leonardo #Raphael #Donatello #Michelangelo #tmnt Leo #tmnt Donnie #tmnt Raph #tmnt Mikey #fluff #comedy #slightly ns*w

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ibis-gt · 3 years ago

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ok ok i got the writing bug again. cam drives luther to the hospital to figure out why he's got Shrinks When Gay Disorder. 2k words.

~~~

“Well, Mr. Algers, from what I can tell you’ve got a very rare, very difficult autoimmune disease. We call it Gulliver’s Hanahaki.”

Luther sits glumly on the examining table, clad in a paper gown. He resists the urge to pick at the edges of it, instead keeping a tight grip on the table. Doctor’s offices always make him fidgety.

“Basically,” Dr. Townsend continues, “when your body encounters a specific form of stress, it will react in an attempt to defend itself, resulting in the reduction of size you’ve been experiencing.”

“So is there… any kind of cure?” Luther asks.

“Well, no. It’s not the kind of disease you cure.”

“Treatment of any kind? Pills I can take, shots, anything to stop it?” An edge of desperation creeps into his voice, the paper covering the table crinkling as his fingers dug into it.

“Nothing I can give you, I’m sorry to say,” Dr. Townsend sighs. “Unfortunately, its rarity means that it’s difficult to study. Any medication is still in the early trial stages and it wouldn’t be ethical for me to prescribe. There are two forms of preventative measures you can take to avoid further episodes, however.”

Luther straightens up from his slump. Thank god, something to get this nightmare to finally end!

“The first is very effective. Since the episodes are triggered by attraction to another individual and the anxiety resulting from that attraction, if you are able to avoid interactions with that individual altogether, no further anxiety will be triggered.”

Luther deflates, shoulders sagging. “That won’t work,” he mumbles. “We live in the same building.”

Dr. Townsend nods sympathetically. “I thought it might be something like that,” he sighs. “Your other option is to confess.”

Luther reels back like he’s been slapped. “Confess?”

“Yes. These episodes are made worse by bottling up your attraction or attempting to deny it. This causes the stress to compound and become more intense. If you admit your feelings to the individual you’re attracted to, then you will remove some of that stress and your episodes will be less frequent and less severe.”

“But- but that would only stress me out more!” Luther says, throwing his arms out to the sides. “I mean, I mean what if he says no? What if he says yes? What if he -”

Dr. Townsend puts a hand on Luther’s shoulder, cutting him off. His hand is… very large. Too large. Dr. Townsend and Luther are about the same height, after all, but his hand barely fits on Luther’s shoulder. Luther realizes suddenly that he’d been shrinking, and takes a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. I see your point. I just gotta tell him how I feel. Easy peasy.”

“Hm.” the doctor says. He lets his hand drop and a tinge of sympathy colors his serious expression. “Good luck, Luther. This is a very difficult disease to live with, even once you’ve mitigated your stress as much as possible. If there’s anything else I can do to support you, please let me know. Otherwise, our consultation is at an end for today. I’ll start reaching out and seeing what options there are for you - maybe a support group would help?”

“Thank you, doctor. That would be nice, actually. Um. Quick question - how… small can I get? Could I just… entirely disappear?”

Dr. Townsend lets out a huge sigh. “Well… on record, the smallest a person with Gulliver’s Hanahaki has been reliably measured at is about one and a quarter inch. There are rumors of people getting down to five centimeters, but frankly, that’s just ridiculous.”

Luther stares at the doctor for a long moment. “Right. Ridiculous.”

~~~

When he gets out to the waiting room, Luther is surprised to see Cam sitting there.

“I thought you left? You didn’t have to stick around.”

“Figured you might need a ride back. Wouldn’t want you shrinking on the way over.” Cam stands and stretches, rolling his neck. “Ugh. Little stiff,” he mutters.

Luther tries to get his racing heart back under control. He’s a little shorter than usual, and having Cam loom over him like this… it’s not doing him any favors in the height department. But he manages to keep a handle on himself as they walk out to the parking lot. Cam’s quiet for a bit, but once the car starts up, the questions begin.

“So, what’d the doctor say?” Cam asks, glancing over his shoulder as he backs out of the parking spot. A little ball of panic starts to form in Luther’s gut. Oh, nothing much, just that I’m going to shrink every time I’m awkward around my crush. Which is you, by the way.

“Uh, it’s… an autoimmune disorder,” Luther mumbles. “Rare one. They don’t know a lot about it yet.”

“Okay, makes sense,” Cam says. Luckily his eyes are on the road, so he doesn’t notice Luther losing an inch. “What’s it called?”

“G - “ Luther starts, then catches himself. What if Cam looks it up later and figures it out? He shrinks a little bit more and swallows, trying to clear his throat. “I… the name was… it was very long and I didn’t really, uh, catch it.”

Cam chuckles quietly. The sound reverberates around the inside of Luther’s skull. It’s so musical and sweet. He clutches the seatbelt and shrinks some more.

“Yeah, some of them have weird names. What kinda treatment are you lookin’ at?”

“Uh… this was just like, a consultation, to identify it? So we’re gonna do treatment next time.” Luther doesn’t even sound convincing to his own ears. Cam glances sideways at him and his heart skips a beat.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Cam says, looking the other way as he makes a turn. “It’s medical stuff, it’s personal. I’m sorry for prying.”

“No, no, it’s not that! It’s… just a lot to take in, and I’m still - there’s a couple things it could be actually and they don’t know for sure so they took blood samples, and there’s tests that are gonna come back later, and um, uh…” Luther trails off. He’s shrunk so much now that the seat belt presses uncomfortably across his chest and neck, and the tension on it makes it difficult to adjust. He’d been staring out the windshield as he rambled, but now he’s too short to see much more than the sky. He feels Cam pull the car over and turn off the engine. Luther slowly turns to his left and looks up at Cam, who stares down at him in turn. Luther, maybe two feet high now, offers a shaky smile.

“There’s, um. No cure. Or treatment,” he says in a soft, wavering voice. “I just… live like this now.”

Cam tilts his head to one side like he’s trying to decide on something. He shifts in his seat, turns his body a little to face Luther, and props up one arm on the headrest. Then he sighs.

“You’re too short to sit in the front now,” he says. He glances to the backseat. Luther follows his gaze and stares in horror at the car seat sitting neatly behind the driver’s side.

“Oh, no,” Luther whispers. He raises his voice as Cam shifts again and undoes his seat belt. “No, no, no, no, I am not going in that! Cam!” But it’s too late. Cam opens the car door and gets out, then shuts it behind him. Luther slams down on the release button for his own seat belt with both hands, keeping his eyes on Cam through the windshield as he walks around the front of the car. The belt retracts with such force that it knocks him sideways, and it takes him a moment to right himself and get his bearings again. Before he can try to run or hide, the door opens, and Cam reaches in for him.

“No, please, come on,” Luther pleads. He backs up as far as he can, but Cam easily gets his hand around Luther’s middle and lifts him up. “I’m an adult, a full grown man, I can’t go in a baby seat! Please, Cam, don’t put me in that thing, why do you even have it? It’s so humiliating, you can’t do this!”

“Number one,” Cam says, opening the back door. “I can put you in it, I have plenty of practice wrangling my niece in there.” He sets Luther down and gets to work on the straps, easily subduing Luther’s halfhearted attempts to squirm free. “Number two, this is about traffic laws. If I’m driving around with someone under four feet in my front seat, I’m gonna get pulled over, and if you wanna explain to the officer that you’re a full grown adult and pay the ticket, be my guest. And number three,” he says, clicking the last buckle into place, “this is about your safety. We get in an accident, that seat belt up front is gonna do you more harm than good.” He straightens up again and shuts the door. Luther puts his head in his hands, trying not to break down in tears. That would only make it worse. The words ‘this is about your safety’ echo around his head in his father’s voice. He hears the driver’s side door open and close, hears Cam settle himself in, and manages to speak up.

“Just… please don’t laugh. Or take pictures, or anything.” He risks a glance between his fingers. Cam is looking at him in the rearview mirror, no amusement or pity visible in his eyes.

“I won’t.” The sincerity in his voice takes Luther by surprise. “This isn’t funny. This is really serious, and I’m sorry I had to do that.” He turns the key in the ignition and pulls the car back onto the road. “We’re nearly home. You won’t have to be there for long.”

Luther stares miserably out the window at the sky above. True to Cam’s word, it’s only another ten minutes before they’re pulling into the apartment complex’s lot. As soon as the car’s turned off, Luther starts pulling at the straps, trying to figure out how to get himself free. Cam comes around to his side again and opens the door.

“I got it, I got it,” Luther assures him. “It’s just this one, right? No… wait, this one? Or is it… um…”

“Let me,” Cam says softly. He reaches in and has the whole contraption undone in an instant. Then, to Luther’s surprise, Cam scoops him up and holds him against his chest like he’s a toddler. Luther’s arms hang over Cam’s shoulder as he blinks in shock. Cam whistles as he approaches the door to their building, fishing his keys out of his pocket. He opens the door one-handed and starts the climb up the stairs to their floor. Luther should say something, this is horribly demeaning, but… it’s also undeniably very nice. He feels supported and safe, and he’s so close to Cam but the usual stab of anxiety is totally absent. He could almost drift off like this.

Cam reaches his door and unlocks it, then stops suddenly and looks at Luther.

“Oh! Shit! I’m so sorry, it was kind of like muscle memory, I guess? God, I’m sorry.” He lowers Luther to the floor and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“That’s… that’s okay. The stairs would’ve sucked to climb right now anyway.” Luther should leave, Cam’s still got the door open for him, but… “Do you mind if I stay for a bit? Just until I get a little bigger? Um, I can’t really reach my door handle right now, so…”

Cam smiles, and that familiar pang of anxiety flutters up inside Luther again. “Yeah, you can hang out here. You’re always welcome.” He turns and trudges towards the kitchen, his footsteps shaking the floor as he passes Luther. “It’s pot roast tonight, anyway. Even if you get your height back in the next five minutes, I’d insist you stay for dinner.”

Luther thinks about the doctor’s advice. Confess your feelings, and all of this gets easier. But when he goes to open his mouth, he loses another three inches all in one go. Luther digs his nails into his palms and sets his jaw. Not just yet, then. But soon. Eventually.

One of these days.

#writing #cam and luther #no idea what 2 call this one im workin on it #g/t #giant tiny #i was really like 'what's the dumbest thing i could call it. oh i know. gulliver's hanahaki.'#anyway this was 100% just bc i wanted to write the car seat bit and needed justification for it #gulliver's hanahaki

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wildlyglittering · 3 years ago

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A Love for all Seasons Part 1 (Winter)

I said that I would write a piece for Nessian Month to be posted each Sunday so here is the first!

I’d hoped to have this up earlier but hey ho. I ended up scrapping 8,000 words of something that I’d previously done and re-wrote this in a day. It’s barely edited so I can only apologise for dubious quality and numerous spelling errors.

I asked for prompt requests and this one is based on ‘modern au, Nesta as a ballerina.’ You’ll probably see that it’s not entirely modern au because I just can’t write modern au - sorry!

I’ve decided to link all 4 prompts received together as a 4 part series. Not all other sections will be as long as this one. Probably. I mean, I’ve not written them yet so....

***

Velaris at Solmas was a magical time and Nesta wasn’t thinking metaphorically – Solmas was literally a magical time.

Solmas was a blend of both fae and human traditions and, as a time for celebration, this meant spirits were up and magical shields were down. Active magic rippled through the air as did the leakage from those who had magic but never used it.

No one truly remembered when the lines between fae and human’s merged and there was the possibility the fae had decided to adjust the truth in collective memory to make it seem like they had always been part of the city.

Perhaps they had. Perhaps they hadn’t. Not a human amongst them could tell and not a fae amongst them would.

As centuries passed, or decades - no one was quite sure after all, the fae evolved to blend in. They shed talons, claws and teeth, and moulted wings and shimmering skin.

That wasn’t to say a good deal of them didn’t have remnants of their previous lineage; there were still those who had wings and those who were always followed by a mist. Some slipped from human form like their flesh was a dress.

There wasn’t a fae who didn’t have some magic, however small. But then, so did Nesta and her sisters, Feyre and Elain.

At some point in their collective past, the fae decided they liked the humans and vice versa and so romantic liaisons were not an uncommon occurrence. Despite a few differences, both species were compatible and that was how magic managed to bleed into some human veins. As Feyre said, they were human but with ‘added spice’.

Sometimes all that magic, especially at this heightened time of year, was damned irritating.

That morning Nesta had been in a café, reading her book when a lady biting into a gingerbread man had to stop on account of her baked good starting to scream.

Then, when she’d left to make her way to the ballet, she’d been caught in a snow flurry where the snowflakes took the form of small fairies and danced around her. She’d slapped them away, ignoring their outraged cries.

The walk which should have been ten minutes from her favourite café down into the theatre district ended up taking forty after some enchanted horses pulling sleighs decided to protest and caused a blockage across three streets, causing numerous detours.

When she finally reached the theatre, the peace of her day shattered, Nesta stormed into her dressing room and slammed the door. “Fucking fae.”

Nesta didn’t hate the fae. Technically, you couldn’t. Anytime anyone had a negative thought there was a haze which descended over people’s minds to remind them how much they loved the fae and how pleased they were to live beside them.

The magic in her blood meant the haze was a pithy little thing which Nesta mentally told to shove its pleasantries up its non-existent asshole leading it to drift away, pretending it wasn’t offended.

No, she didn’t hate them but she found them so inconvenient.

Nesta had settled at her dressing table when her door opened following a knock. A head peeked round, long ruby-red hair streaming downwards. One of the fae Nesta did like.

“Nesta?”

“I’m here.”

“Viviane said she’s going to turn a portion of the Sidra into an ice rink later, fancy coming? I might also take an ice-dive. Good for the pores!”

Gwyn, the production assistant at the Velaris City Ballet Company was fae but was classified as a water nymph. Nesta had only discovered this when they took a trip to Adriata the beach city the previous year for a ‘hot girl summer’ and she realised Gwyn had a set of gills accompanying her lungs.

Nesta met Gwyn’s eyes in the mirror and raised an eyebrow.

“What? I can’t help myself; you know that. I take it the ice-rink is a no?”

Nesta shook her head in response as she began on her hair but smiled. Despite herself she really did like Gwyn and Viviane, and a lot of the production company too even though the company was riddled with nepotism and bias.

Few humans managed to win a place in the ballet. Arts and creative pursuits were hard to break into when you were auditioning against fae. The only reason Nesta was as successful as she had been was because of that drop of magical blood.

She reached for the headdress resting next to her make-up. The Solmas production was The Nutcracker which their performance director, Eris had choreographed and screamed over for weeks.

“Tchaikovsky was a close, personal friend of mine,” he’d bragged. “He was fae of course, well – half-fae, but then no one can be perfect.”

Nesta had rolled her eyes and ignored Eris’ glare, not at all intimidated since they both discovered she immune to glamours and spells.

Nesta hadn’t been able to score the prima ballerina role for the production but then she hadn’t for years. How can a human compete with fae who spun in the air and flew on invisible, gossamer wings?

She’d auditioned for the role of Sugar Plum Fairy and wasn’t offered the position on account of the actual fairies also auditioning. If Nesta had managed to win the role then she wouldn’t have lasted a week before a surprise accident befell her, regardless of the amount of protection charms she wore.

The role she had won suited her fine, the dance being one of her favourites – the Illyrian dance. The steps weren’t complex but the performance was all about attitude and frankly, Nesta had that in spades.

When she’d been offered the dance, Gwyn took her aside in the corridor, a frown on her face. “Are you sure you want to perform this Nesta?”

“I know what you’re going to say, the dance should have gone to an Illyrian and you’re right – it should have. I’ve been trying to petition Eris for years now about Illyrian ballerinas but he’s always up to his typical high-fae purist bullshit.”

Gwyn had given a nervous laugh and looked around them, making sure Eris wouldn’t somehow leap out of the wall at the comment. It was a fair suspicion; he’d done it to performers before if they had any critique of him to say.

“Just do the dance cultural justice.”

Nesta swore she would.

On the scale of species hierarchy, full humans remained at the bottom. They were aging mortals with no magic and poor immune systems. The fae laughed themselves silly at the concept of chicken pox and the common cold. However, it didn’t mean every fae species was revered.

High fae like Eris were basically royalty while lesser fae were their middle-class cousins. Nymphs were considered useful and the majority of other fae fell someplace in between.

Illyrians were almost a side step from the hierarchy.

As a species they were immortal, eternally youthful and ripe with magic as powerful as some of the high fae. Some of their bodies were like machines with what they did with them and they would have been able to perform ballet for days on end without breaking.

They also had those vast jet-black wings which were terrifying and enthralling at the same time. It was a shame Illyrian Air didn’t do well, but then there were far too many customer service issues.

The only reason they weren’t on par with the high-fae (in the eyes of the high-fae) was that they weren’t elegant enough. They moved with a violence underneath the surface of their flesh like their blood was fire.

They also had complex histories which no one understood because Illyrians refused to discuss anything about Illyria and their heritage with anyone who wasn’t an Illyrian.

She once asked Feyre about them to be told Illyrians had spent their entire lifetimes being looked down upon by other fae so when those same fae demanded Illyrian secrets, they refused to comply.

Feyre had said, “Cassian told me, ‘Why should we give them anything when we have to fight for everything,’” and Nesta conceded he had a point. Possibly the only point Cassian had ever had but a point nonetheless.

Why was she thinking all this now? Why was she thinking of her baby sister’s stupid friends? She knew very well why.

Gwyn had stepped into Nesta’s dressing room. “Isn’t tonight when your sister and her friends are coming to the show?”

Yes, that was why.

Gwyn leant against the wall, in Nesta’s line of sight in the mirror and Nesta shrugged keeping her voice nonchalant. “Yes, unfortunately.”

It wasn’t unfortunate Feyre was coming, Feyre who loved anything to do with art and ballet but Nesta wasn’t looking forward to the rest. Rhys, Feyre’s half high-fae, half Illyrian boyfriend had all the arrogant superiority of the high-fae and the volatility of the Illyrians with none of the manners.

Nesta was painfully aware Rhys didn’t like her.

The rest of the group were also non-human with Feyre seemingly abandoning humans completely, preferring the exclusive company of Rhys circle of fae friends. Elain was the opposite, living outside the walls of the city in her cottage, wanting nothing to do with fae at all.

Feyre had told Rhys a bunch of stories from their childhood and Rhys didn’t quite comprehend how human sisters worked, didn’t quite comprehend how complex their relationship had been.

The spit of magic in their blood had made things all the more difficult as humans were not the best containers for magic. In Nesta’s eyes what made it worse were all the tattoos Feyre had inked into her skin; amplifiers mostly.

Anger had been born from Nesta’s worry and her worry was from her love.

Feyre understood the root cause of Nesta’s peevishness even if she didn’t like it but Rhys saw disapproval and returned it in kind.

At the thought of some of the attendees Nesta’s heart started doing something change, fluttering away like it was a bird trapped in a cage. She remembered when Ianthe, one of the ensemble, had shown them the pet bird she’d brought.

“Isn’t it lovely?” she’d said, her eyes glittering as her fingernails grew sharp. “Such a pretty pet for me to love.”

Nesta remembered the poor thing desperately trying to fly out of its cage, smashing its wings and beak against the bars.

Ianthe ended up eating it. She’d sobbed she hadn’t meant to but she hadn’t grabbed her protein bar that morning when she’d left her apartment and she was starving.

They couldn’t help it; it was in their nature to consume. The fae were like locusts that way, consuming land, lives, birds. Hearts.

Gwyn’s smile at Nesta’s response stretched into one which took up most of her face and Nesta refrained from shuddering. Nymph embodied the gentle and the harsh of their element. Water nymphs had the ability to be as tranquil and soft as summer rain or as vicious and deadly as a shark in deep water.

“Uh-huh. Will Cassian be attending?”

“I don’t know, probably.”

“Are you nervous about doing the Illyrian dance in front of Illyrians?”

Yes. Terrified.

“No,” she said, “I’ve done my research.”

Eris’ choreography for the dance was lazy and aggressive, rooted in his high-fae misperceptions of Illyrian culture. Nesta convinced Eris to let her put together her own steps and when he let her, not giving a damn about the dance, Nesta sought out the sole Illyrian choreographer in Velaris - a woman named Emerie.

At least the dance would contain authentic steps, she’d just never performed it in front of any Illyrians who weren’t Emerie before.

Gwyn’s grin was still wide.

“Oh, go away would you,” Nesta said with a scowl. “I need to focus before the matinee.”

Gwyn laughed at Nesta’s scowl and Nesta knew Gwyn understood Nesta’s words were harsh but her meaning wasn’t.

“Fine, fine. I’ll see you later, my little witchy dancer.”

Nesta glared at her friends departing back. I’m not a witch, she wanted to say, just a human whose great grandma caught the eye of a high-fae and had at it.

The matinee performance went well. Performances at the Velaris City Ballet Company always went well. The city made it so, drawing in an audience like moths to lamplight.

For all its splendour, Velaris was ancient and small. What was once a human village at the base of the mountains with the Sidra River running wild aside it, grew in population and glamour once the fae came pushing through the veil.

Human technology and fae magic combined to turn the place into something unique which rippled out to other human towns and dwellings but Velaris remained the first and the original.

While other cities grew, Velaris kept its quaintness. Old buildings built from red stone were covered with trailing ivy which bloomed with different flowers depending on the inhabitants’ moods. Rooms would change their size and shape according to the number of people within and wallpapers would shift when required to become something new. A piece of furniture could be a chaise longue in the morning and a mahogany dresser by nightfall.

Outside was no different. The cobbled side streets were slightly off kilter and you could look back, having walked up a steep street only to realise the path you’d walked was now heading a different direction and upwards, not down.

The ballet house was one of the oldest buildings and contained concentrated magic the way a bottle contained liquid. It also meant, much like liquid, if the bottle was shaken then there would be spillage.

Truth told; they’d had some difficulties with previous performances.

The first performance of Sleeping Beauty had left the majority of the audience passed out in their red velvet chairs while thickets of thorns grew up from the stage floor, encompassing the dancers. Nesta had to hack through several vines to reach her dressing room to grab her apartment keys.

The Snow Queen last Solmas followed suit. Viviane had been their prima ballerina that year and was in her utmost element. That had been the worst winter Velaris had ever experienced with uncharacteristic heavy snowfalls and biting frosts. The less said about the temporary missing children and ominous women in sleighs, the better.

Aside from when Eris turned actual rats into human sized dancers and the whole city was put into a three-day long lockdown while fae exterminators went to work, The Nutcracker was going fairly well.

Magic whirled the audience through each act and they heard and tasted and smelt everything being shown to them. Music would drift into their ears as performers danced fluidly across the stage. Some of the audience sobbed, overcome by the magic which sank into their skin.

The experience took some time to get used to if you were human. The first time Nesta had performed ballet in Velaris she was dizzy with nausea and slick with sweat. Now she even managed to use some of her own dormant abilities to counter the effects, or even to add in some of her own.

Before the evening performance began, her phone beeped with a message from Feyre.

Can’t wait to see you dance! Catch up with you afterwards!

Nesta groaned. She’d agreed to go for a drink at the in-house bar with Feyre and the rest but now she wished she was going straight home.

The stage melted away from the dance before hers into Nesta’s scenery as she waited in the wings for her cue. She eyed up the boxes, knowing Rhys had sponsored one for Feyre but didn’t have a clue which one.

The Illyrian dance had a sparse stage, to demonstrate the Illyrian steppes but the painted backdrop was one of Ramiel, the revered Illyrian mountain. Despite the sparsity, the set pulsed with a dry heat; the scent of crackling wood fire and spice filling the air, the sensation of warm winds tickling her skin.

When the music started, she danced on, determined to prove to Illyrian eyes in the audience she would do it justice.

Nesta drew on the same magic which ran in Feyre and Elain’s bones, the same magic Feyre had permanently etched on the surface of her skin. When Nesta leapt, she cast imaginary wings on her back which carried her further forward and higher. When she pirouetted, she was spinning on ice. Her arms were graceful and her legs sharp.

Nesta formed herself into a blade of dance as she undulated her hips and curved her spine. She swore the heat under her skin caused the air to burn around her.

She finished to rapturous applause and resisted eyeing up the boxes again although she wanted to know if any particular hands were clapping.

In the wings Gwyn was waiting and handed her a towel and Nesta realised she was glistening with sweat, droplets highlighting her cleavage.

“Very nice,” Gwyn said, clapping. “A small fire broke out in one of the stalls.”

Before Nesta said anything, Eris walked by with a low whistle. “Great performance, Nesta. I now have a raging boner.”

The women shrieked in disgust and Nesta threw her towel at him. “Animal.”

Eris grinned, “You know it” and his eyes shone as he caught the towel. Nesta made a mental note to ask Elain for more rowan to put around her dressing room door.

Nesta watched the rest of the performances from the wings until curtain close. Usually she never dawdled, always wanting to remove her costume and dress into civilian clothes as quick as possible but tonight she took her time, idly drawing out each minute until she couldn’t avoid her fate forever.

Audience members with children, fae or human often left first, clearing the way for those who wanted to remain behind in the theatre bar. When the fae discovered alcohol a new set of problems arose. Regardless of what species you were, once you were drunk you did stupid things.

The bar was below ground level and took up a vast amount of space. Overstuffed seating was positioned around tables in compartments, each draped with their own set of thick, crimson red curtains with gold tassels. If the occupants wanted privacy, then they had it.

Nesta shimmied past groups; fae, human and mixed, who laughed and clinked their champagne flutes, none recognising her as a dancer they’d watched earlier.

Feyre was likely to have a private booth booked along with the theatre box as Rhys had so much gold he likely melted it down and bathed in it. The last time Nesta met up with Feyre, her little sister had been wearing a diamond encrusted corset top.

Ahead of her stood two figures, both leaning against the open fronted bar and deep in conversation. Cassian and Azriel. No one was able to miss them even if they tried to blend in. Illyrians were known for their size and their wings and not exactly known for their love of ballet.

Almost as though he sensed her arrival, Cassian stopped talking and turned, strands of his black hair falling from his messy bun. Her eyes met his and she felt how she always did whenever they glanced at each other – a little bit anxious, a little bit horny and a little bit excited.

Nesta was worried if she opened her mouth, a thousand butterflies would float upwards from her stomach.

The look on his face, one she couldn’t place, slipped into something familiar as she drew nearer. Cassian smirked at her and followed it up with a slow, obvious glance from head to toe.

“Hello, Nesta.” He drawled his words, husky and deep. His voice was a baritone which always had her itching to dance across his words. Illyrian magic wasn’t the strongest but those who wielded it were.

What Illyrians wielded their magic for was anyone’s guess but if she had to, Nesta would have guessed it was for making panties drop if the turning heads of the crowd and little sighs was any indication.

There had been occasions where she too was driven with the need to show him more skin of hers then he deserved, to beg him to lay her down and cover her body in honey before licking it off with rasps of his tongue.

Must have been magic.

“Cassian,” she said with barely a nod and turned to his companion. “Azriel.”

Azriel nodded back a polite hello while Cassian leant against the bar directly facing her, wearing a grin as sharkish as Gwyn’s. She was like a lamb on the ground being circled by a taloned beast.

“Interesting performance.”

Azriel coughed at Cassian’s words, spluttering on the beer he was drinking and Nesta frowned, heat flooding her cheeks. Was he mocking her?

If he was, she wouldn’t give his smugly handsome self the satisfaction of getting to her and instead she ignored his words asking who else was here and where her sister was.

“Feyre, Rhys, Az and me. Amren came to watch the ballet but didn’t stay for drinks.”

“And where’s my sister and Rhys now?”

Cassian jerked his head over to the direction of the compartments. “They’re having a private ‘conversation’ behind closed curtains.”

Nesta’s face twisted in disgust. Fucking fae. Always fucking.

“Why didn’t Amren stay?”

“She never sticks around after The Nutcracker. Says it’s derogatory and insulting and she only comes to refill her well of rage.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, what was it she said Az? That the performances were brimming with cultural appropriation?”

The heat on Nesta’s cheeks turned into furnace. It wasn’t as though Cassian explicitly referred to Nesta’s performance but his words had to crawled under her skin. Feyre’s fae friends weren’t fans of Nesta’s, not after Rhys had spilled to them everything Feyre had told him.

For a group so ancient, they acted like spoilt human teenagers. Nesta would take the high road and try and find dignity in silence.

The bartender brought out another beer for Azriel and a glass of dark liquor for Cassian. A glass of wine from the Rosehall vineyard was handed to her and she was surprised someone had the foresight to order for her before she arrived, and with her favourite drink.

“Did you not like it then?” Nesta asked after taking a sip, her voice light. Azriel coughed again and this time Cassian shot him a glare, his rough-hewn face growing solemn before sliding into his more casual expression.

“There were some authentic Illyrian steps involved which is impressive. Didn’t realise old Eris had it in him.”

“It wasn’t Eris,” Nesta said, “It was me. I found an Illyrian choreographer in the city and she taught me some steps.”

Cassian’s face stilled for a moment, motionless like stone before letting out a roaring laugh which reverberated around the bar. The lesser fae behind him jumped and splashed his drink on the counter, quivering in fright.

“Well, that explains it!”

Nesta’s flesh prickled, her skin chilling in the overly warm bar. Goodness knows what she’d been dancing. Some dance of self-mockery probably. Her throat was burning and she didn’t understand whether she was upset because she thought Emerie liked her or upset because Cassian had seen.

Nesta’s fingers clenched the stem of the wine glass and she took a gulp of her drink, downing almost half as her hand wavered and her eyes watered. Cassian immediately stopped grinning.

“It was a beautiful dance,” Azriel said from her right and she turned to him, his face serious. “Other performances of The Nutcracker have the Illyrian dance as the violent, hostile war dance. Yours was the best one I’ve seen. Cassian liked it very much.”

Nesta whispered her thanks, looking between the Illyrians standing at either side of her who were now glaring at each other. She was out-flanked next to their bulk and she wished her sister was done doing whatever the hell she was doing so Nesta could say her hellos and goodbyes and get out of there.

“There’s only one Illyrian choreographer in this city,” Cassian said, his voice softer as his fingers trailed around his glass rim. “No other Illyrian would ever bother with this place.”

Nesta looked around the theatre at its gilded gold décor and red curtains but somehow knew Cassian was referring to Velaris as a whole. Illyrians never came to the city to visit, let alone live.

She glanced at him and found his smile was gentler and his hazel eyes, which always bordered on lascivious, were kinder somehow. Perhaps he hadn’t meant to mock her, perhaps he realised his raucous laughter had hurt.

He had no reason to care if he’d hurt her feelings and she shouldn’t have cared either but there had been a sting to his words which sunk deeper than she’d liked. She wasn’t opposed if he wanted to soothe over his words.

But she wasn’t about to let him know that. Instead, she fixed a bored expression onto her face. “Oh,” she said, looking into her glass as she swirled her wine around, “and who would that be?”

Cassian, still leaning against the bar, mirrored her by looking into his own glass before taking a sip.

“A friend of mine from the old country moved here a couple of years ago because her attempt at bringing ballet into the township was less than successful. You know her human name as Emerie.”

Cassian was still leaning against the bar, now looking into his own deep amber coloured liquid before taking a sip.

Nesta’s head snapped up to find Cassian now looking intently at her. “Yes, that’s her.”

“Figured,” Cassian said with a chuckle and took another long sip.

His mood seemed less jovial than before, more pensive and Nesta glanced around to discover Azriel had gone from her side. She looked around the crowds but didn’t see sight of him. How she lost an Illyrian of his stature she didn’t know but when she whipped her head around to the booth Cassian gestured towards earlier, the curtains were still closed.

She didn’t even have it in her to be irritated. The whole night was a wash-out and because of the stupid enchanted horse incident earlier closing streets, she was now adding additional time to her walk home.

“Well, then,” she said. “It’s been a long day and I’m tired; I have another two performances tomorrow and I want to head out and avoid any festive idiots.”

Cassian stood upright, alert and facing her, his glass sloshing the liquid violently as he placed it back onto the bar a little too hard. His wings flexed. “You haven’t seen Feyre yet.”

“If Feyre wanted to catch up with me then she wouldn’t be playing hide the fae penis with her boyfriend right now.” Her tone was sharp and she glared at Cassian. “It doesn’t take much to say a quick hello to your sister.”

Did Nesta care if Cassian thought her rude? Not a fucking bit. Despite Elain living an hour outside the city and Feyre only living on the other side, a journey which took less than a minute travelling by Winnow Express, Feyre was the sister Nesta saw the least.

“If she comes out at any point,” Nesta continued, “tell her I’ll call her.”

It wasn’t a lie when she said she was tired. Two performances a day took it out of her let alone when magic clung in the air at Solmas and let alone the fact that Nesta had used a tiny amount of her own as some kind of performance enhancer.

Whatever energy reserves she had was depleted, the glass of wine making her feel like she’d drank the entire bottle.

Nesta didn’t bother saying goodbye to Cassian, just left her empty glass on the counter and spun around.

Being a ballerina was on her side as she wove through the crowd and up into the foyer which was blissfully empty. Sadly, the world outside the doors was not so much and Nesta took a breath before wrapping herself in her stole.

The statues guarding the entrance waved her a goodbye, one with a human Santa hat adorning its head and the other with a fae garland wrapped around its waist. Nesta rolled her eyes. Human and fae decorations were put on everything so management could say they’d met their Equal Opportunities criteria.

Nesta stepped onto the pavement and looked down the street of the theatre district.

She couldn’t deny Velaris at night was beautiful.

History books stated the first fae who settled in the city were night dwellers and while they were able to survive in the sun, it was under the starlit sky where they thrived. So, the stories went that they made the night spectacular.

The ink black sky was painted with whorls of galaxies and splashed with stars. At first glance everything appeared white but when Nesta looked closer it was clear they were silver and gold and the purest, palest blue.

Feyre had once told her fae eyes saw more colours than humans and the stars were a multitude of colours – the rainbow and beyond. One of Feyre’s tattoos was designed to allow her to see what the fae saw.

The theatre district was still buzzing with humans and fae alike. Because of the nature of the city, it was usual for the streets to be filled until the early hours of the morning and after any performance in the theatre district there was no time for relaxing.

There was always residual magic left over from the ballet. The ballet theatre was the largest of the theatre buildings and so the magic started strongest at the end Nesta now stood before dissipating the further away you walked.

Snowflakes and flowers alike drifted down from the empty, cloudless sky. The Waltz of the Snowflakes and the Waltz of the Flowers often combatted against each other for prominence in their audience’s minds and refused to give in to each even after the show was done.

Thankfully, the Land of the Sweets didn’t involve themselves in this battle. They had done one performance many weeks ago and when chocolate rained from the sky it was delightful. Boiling hot coffee? Not so much.

Nesta navigated her way though the cobbles and crowds as petals landed in her hair and snowflakes melted on her eyelashes. She heaved a sigh of relief when she made it to the end past the gathered individuals who spilled out of the smaller theatres and theatre bars.

She turned left to go into a side street and stopped, almost tripping over her own feet.

Leaning against the wall, silhouetted against the streetlamps and fae lights was the hulking shape of an Illyrian.

“What are you-? How did you-?”

Cassian laughed as he used his elbow to propel himself from the wall and stride towards her. “What am I doing here and how did I get here so fast?”

“Well... yeah.”

“Wings,” he said, jabbing his thumbs in the direction behind him. “They come in useful from time to time. I thought I would fly you home.”

Nesta eyed up the wings behind him, remembering all the news reports of Illyrian Air. “No thank you, I like the walk.”

“Ok, then I’ll walk with you. Make sure you get home safe.”

She frowned. Nesta had lived in this city all her life and despite the occasional fae related incident which was brought on by personal vendetta, unavoidable prophecy from birth or magic spell gone wrong, Velaris was a safe place.

It also helped that Nesta had that splash of fae blood herself and a glare which froze bones. Literally. There had been an incident with an ex-boyfriend but she’d filed an explanation with the police and it was never brought up again.

“I’m fine,” she said. “I don’t need babysitting.”

“I know you don’t but I’d still like to walk you. Please.” The last word was said so softly she almost didn’t hear it but she caught the imploration.

Cassian stepped further into the light of a streetlamp, a few pale pink petals falling from his shoulders, desperation in his eyes.

Nesta sighed. “Fine, but I’m on the other side of the Sidra. The quickest route is over Mermaid Bridge.”

Cassian paused for a moment, “Mermaid Bridge? There won’t be any actual mermaids on it right?”

“Not at this time of year, the water’s too cold and they travel south.”

“Thank god, one of my ex’s was a mermaid. They are terrifying.”

Nesta shook her head, not able to imagine a creature of his size being scared of anything. They started walking in companionable silence. The further away from the city centre they strode, the more the crowds thinned.

Some shops remained open, including the café Nesta sat in earlier and groups had gathered around tables to laugh over mugs of frothy hot chocolate which overflowed with cream. Cinnamon, gingerbread, and candy cane scented the air.

As they walked, humans and fae alike paled when they crossed paths with Cassian and many darted out of his way. One lesser fae flattened himself against the red brick wall while another gave a quiet yelp and ran down an alley.

Nesta glanced up at Cassian but either he was pretending he didn’t notice the running onlookers or he didn’t care.

“What do you do?” she asked. She knew nothing about any of Feyre’s friends in any detail. “For that matter what do any of you do?”

Cassian laughed. “Rhys has a lot of inherited wealth, Amren trades precious stones – we think from the old dragon mines, and no one has a clue what Azriel does. I’m a bounty hunter.”

Oh.

“Caught anyone I’d have heard of?”

“Heard of the Tooth Fairy?”

Nesta grimaced, quickly swooping her tongue over her teeth. “Yes.”

“He was one of mine. So was the Bone Carver, the Weaver and Lanthys.”

Nesta’s eyebrows shot up. “Lanthys? The gold miner? What did he do? Wait, I don’t want to know. He asked me out once.”

Cassian glanced over at her; his own eyebrows raised. “Yeah? Did you say yes?”

Nesta pulled a face. “Good grief, no. He kept sending me telepathic dick pics. It’s bad enough being sent dick pics across dating apps.”

They approached Mermaid Bridge, which was, as Nesta said, devoid of the creature it was named for. Lights twinkled on the other side of the city, the residential side where Nesta lived. There were shrieks of delight further up the river in the dark and Nesta wondered if Gwyn was ice-diving next to Viviane’s ice rink.

Cassian coughed. “You’re on dating apps?”

“Not many, I thought I’d give them a go. My sisters are busy, I only have a few friends and I need something other than work in my life.”

“Yeah, I understand. ‘All work and no play’ make Cassian a dull boy too. The play part of life is fun,” he looked at her from the side of his eye and winked.

Nesta felt the blush spread across her cheeks and she willed it down with whatever force she had left. She wasn’t a virgin so she wasn’t about to start blushing like one.

They climbed the steps to the bridge and walked across. Of all the bridges which connected the two halves of the city, this was Gwyn’s favourite. Nesta’s human eyes couldn’t pick out the colours at night but in the day the railings glittered gold and shimmered with turquoise gems.

“Do you date?” The words slipped out before she stopped them. “You mentioned a mermaid ex so....”

Cassian’s laugh was more a breath and he started to smooth down non-existent knots in his hair. “Yes. Well...no. I did but work is busy and I’m sort of interested in someone and I guess until I purge them from my system, I’m not interested in anyone else.”

“How long have you been interested in them?”

“A while.”

“Why don’t you ask them out rather than eradicate them from your options?”

Nesta wanted to slap herself in the face. Or pitch herself off the bridge into the black, ice-cold water. Even as she was speaking, she wanted to not be but it was as though her mouth and mind had fallen out and no longer wanted anything to do with each other.

Cassian shrugged, “I guess. They just never struck me as someone interested in dating fae.”

They came to the end of the bridge and Nesta looked upwards at the sky. On this side of the river without the city lights, the stars were clearer to her eyes, more defined. One shot across the sky.

“You should go for it,” Nesta said, “you might be surprised.”

“Maybe,” Cassian sighed. “She’s kind of intimidating though.”

“You’re over six foot tall with massive wings and can use magic. I’m sure you’re more intimidating.”

“Me? Nah, I’m sure she thinks I’m an oversized bat.”

Nesta cringed. Those had been her words once a couple of years ago when she was first introduced to Feyre’s new friendship group and the Illyrian’s within. She didn’t think they’d heard her say it but then again, fae hearing was something exceptional along with fae sight.

The streets they walked were now quieter, the hustle and bustle of the inner-city gone. The chill settled in easier on this side of the river and Nesta knew she’d wake to frost across her window panes in the morning.

They were silent until they reached her apartment building, halfway up one of the steepest lanes. It was a small four storey which wasn’t spacious or modern but it gave her brilliant view across the river and Velaris and most importantly, it was hers.

“This is me,” she said, stopping outside the steps leading to the red entrance door. “Thank you for walking me back.” It was on the tip of her tongue to invite Cassian in for coffee but she held back.

He smiled, his eyes warm and shining. “Honestly it was my pleasure.” He leant forward, the sheer bulk of him covering Nesta and for a moment she thought he would kiss her but instead he took her slim fingered hand in his larger one and brought it up to his mouth, kissing the back of her hand.

“Goodnight,” he said, “I hope you have a good Solmas Day when it comes.”

Cassian was no ballet dancer but he sure moved like one, letting go of her hand and swivelling to face the direction they’d walked in from, marching down the slope of her street while Nesta stared at his retreating back.

He was clad in black and would have easily blended into his surroundings if not for the red jewels he wore at his wrists.

Nesta gaped down at the back of her hand, her mouth open. She still felt his lips, warm and soft, on her skin.

“Wait!”

Cassian turned back to face her, tilting his head.

“I’m sorry if my performance in the ballet was offensive. I know Azriel said it was beautiful and that you liked it but if that was a lie to save my feelings, it’s ok. I went to Emerie because I wanted to make it authentic. I should have left it alone.”

Cassian smiled but it wasn’t mocking. He took a few steps back up the street towards her. “You know I said Emerie was a friend from the old country?”

Nesta nodded.

“She’s a really good friend. I like her a lot. She’s no nonsense with a great heart. I was trying to set her up with Rhys’ cousin Mor and in the process we got talking about dating and relationships and she asked if there was anyone, I was interested in. As it happens, I discovered this evening that she knows the person I was talking about. I’m sure she saw this as her opportunity to do some matchmaking of her own.”

“Oh,” Nesta said, her throat dry.

“Yeah. I also happened to tell her in one conversation I would be watching The Nutcracker this year on account of it being Solmas. So, there you go.”

The butterflies were flittering in Nesta’s stomach again and Cassian’s words were taking shape in her mind and building a story. “The steps Emerie taught me for the Illyrian dance – was that an invitation?”

Cassian’s smile stretched wide and he tilted his head back and laughed, the dark column of his throat shining in the starlight. “Oh yes, a very specific invitation. Emerie must have had the day of her life when she pieced everything together.”

The flittering in her stomach was now pooling in her chest. This type of conversation should have her fleeing up the steps and racing through the foyer until she threw herself into her cold bed to hide under the covers.

Nesta wanted to know what she’d inadvertently done without meaning to. Not that she minded whatever it was she’d done.

“What did I dance then, Cassian?” Her voice was lower than usual and rich like the overflowing cream in the café.

Cassian’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, his hazel eyes were almost black. “The dance you performed half naked on a heated stage was most definitely an invitation, Nesta.” He smiled at her again, soft like before but there was something behind it. Suddenly he was a wolf and she the lamb again. He was all claws and teeth and animal.

A shiver of anticipation ran through her. Her pulse beating in her throat, drawing Cassian’s eye.

“Oh, Nesta,” Cassian said, his voice almost a growl. “You performed an Illyrian dance of seduction.”

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

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Manager!Seijoh Part 2

a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)

also warning! angst!

anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!

the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS

soooooo

this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance

anyways

i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you

so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it

so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked

the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened

he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident

but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up

so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that

they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment

you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you

a first year girl theyve just met

it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess

then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it

‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’

after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises

you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that

during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face

‘y/n, what happened!’

‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’

your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie

‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’

‘haha’

you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around

‘y/n? is the food not good?’

your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile

‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’

you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded

the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be

as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body

you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?

the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade

so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold

kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face

‘y/n! what-!’

he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down

‘what happened to you?!’

he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile

‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’

kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant

and he noticed the way you said that sentence

it was like a robot

like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script

but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen

the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid

kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing

‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’

you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento

‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’

okay what

they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone

this had to be the longest school day of your life

the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds

finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

‘y/n, what’s the-’

‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’

eventually, everything was fine

you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease

but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks

he was silent, just staring at them

ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily

oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them

‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’

‘y/n’

his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces

‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’

his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone

you shivered and sighed

‘senpai, please dont-’

‘who is it?’

the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice

‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’

‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’

the gym turned silent

you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows

‘hickey? what-’

‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’

lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes

‘i-i,,,,’

you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity

you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding

its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other

so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face

‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’

HELLO WHAT

the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE

how dare someone take their manager!

she was theirs!

and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you

is this really turning into a harem

oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted

every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve

they just cant see their baby manager like that

you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them

‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’

they flinched and saluted at you

lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her

but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it

this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay

however,,,

several days later,,,

this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst

you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back

it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you

it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her

then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office

if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs

great

you were stuck

you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest

‘what is it you want from me, again?’

she smirked

‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’

is she serious?

this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl

you gave her an incredulous look and frowned

‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’

but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall

but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty

surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance

‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’

miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her

then she remembered what you told her

‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’

she was right

even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong

you were stumped

you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition

your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record

but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade

‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’

you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back

lmao flashbacks to the other part

she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground

oh no you were done w this

you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground

some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles

but they were really testing you

the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt

hit her right between her legs

you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you

‘oh my god leave me alone!’

you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms

obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can

‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’

miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob

sorry rebecca

however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position

gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight

they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her

ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her

but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick

great, another bathroom scene

your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks

you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would

this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for

‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’

your scream echoed throughout the entire are

possibly could be heard in new york

and your voice became hoarse

ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing

‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’

‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’

I GOT CHILLS

the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground

miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy

kyotani kentarou

‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’

he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow

‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’

ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!

you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention

again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals

you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this

‘oi, y-you okay?’

you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying

his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up

normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him

he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office

he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends

you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away

‘n-no, don’t leave-’

but he grunted softly before holding your wrist

‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’

lowkey getting bakugou vibes

you nodded and went to close your eyes again

kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries

babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes

and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms

it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds

but he let his curiosity take over him

‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’

he grunted and you scoffed with a smile

‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’

‘cant you fight them back?’

you glared at him

‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’

he sighed

‘maybe you just werent strong enough’

okay listen here you lil shit

you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes

but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions

‘the first time we met. was it her too?’

you flinched in surprise

‘you remembered that?’

‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’

‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’

‘kyotani,,, kentarou’

you smiled

‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’

‘i know’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it

‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’

he hummed

he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you

kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-

once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered

he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down

‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’

you paused then sighed

‘i dont know. ill figure something out’

but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on

after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’

‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’

you just stared at this guy

‘how-’

‘just a guess’

he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension

and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist

‘so what do i do, then?’

‘tell them-’

‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’

‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’

the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash

‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’

kyo was disgusted

all this for that stupid idiot captain?

‘youre dumber than i thought’

you weakly hit him at the arm

‘so mean, kyo-san’

‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’

you glared and linked your fingers together

‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’

‘just tell them, kid. less problems’

then he stood up to leave

‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’

but you were panicking

someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team

and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player

you were so surprised that you stopped breathing

‘kyo-san,,,’

you muttered and he glared at you

well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly

‘yo’

oikawa was surprised at this interaction

‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’

you nodded, still looking at the blonde

‘i-uh’

‘its none of your business’

kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief

maybe your secret would be safe

you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut

your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape

ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem

but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him

you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you

this created a soft of protectiveness around you

sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you

and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off

aww hes so cute

ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell

until that one day

it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it

iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise

‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’

oikawa? late?

that was unheard of

you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm

miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair

you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively

‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’

oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl

‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’

at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name

you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him

‘don’t, kyo-san’

‘the bitch-’

‘i know. but please, dont’

you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder

aggressively cares for you

‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’

oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him

you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked

‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’

the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension

kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes

‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’

tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl

‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’

you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it

‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’

but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince

oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl

‘oi! kyotani!’

he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating

iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa

‘kyo-san, calm-’

‘you! be quiet’

he shouted, finger pointing at you

‘and you!’

before pointing to oikawa

‘you are a shitty captain’

‘kyotani!’

iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now

mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED

oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked

‘we’ll talk about this later’

‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’

iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door

she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani

‘kyotani, what the hell was that’

oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle

then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes

‘either you tell him or i will’

can we just talk about how protective kyo is?

you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest

‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’

‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’

‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’

oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up

‘y/n-chan, what is going on’

‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’

coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look

to say the least, miyo was pissed

and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does

she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you

girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!

and thats exactly what she did

only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes

‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’

the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you

they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released

as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side

‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’

you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare

‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’

‘i said-’

but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you

her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip

‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’

‘SHUT UP!’

kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you

his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight

‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’

the boy shrugged from the side

‘i dont know. shes late though’

oh god

‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’

kunimi paused to remember before answering

‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’

that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere

‘SHIT!’

he shouted before bolting out the door

ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him

‘kyotani!’

‘kyoken-chan?!’

they followed him, who was running as fast as he can

the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building

it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him

‘YOU-!’

he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you

blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form

‘kyo-!’

‘kyotani!’

your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry

the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught

kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you

oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words

all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry

now multiply that by the entire team

‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’

mattsun seethed

‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’

the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist

‘how long’

miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist

‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’

iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last

‘s-s-since l-last month’

you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt

‘please dont’

‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’

oikawa coldly reprimanded

‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’

‘got it, boss’

if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you

your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office

rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls

the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises

‘i told you so’

he mumbled and you scoffed

‘howd you find me anyways?’

‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’

he answered

no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word

eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years

‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’

oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers

‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’

iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath

‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’

you nodded but your tears fell

‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’

‘stop apologizing, y/n’

‘sorry’

‘y/n!’

you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt

‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’

‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’

watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug

‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’

oikawa babie you are so mature like what-

what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own

‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’

‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’

‘iwa-san?’

‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’

silence

‘WHAT?!’

‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’

‘WHAT?!’

‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’

‘WHAT?!’

a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general

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nightshade-minho · 4 years ago

Text

Alive Again

Warnings: necromancer!hyunjin, death, fingering, themes of satanism, necromancy, witchcraft etc.

Wc: 1.9k

There he was, again.

You let out a long, annoyed sigh as you watched from the shadows. Leaves crunching under your feet, you stepped out from behind the bush, having had enough.

"Hey!"

The man crouching before the gravestone glanced up, raising an eyebrow as his eyes landed on you. He looked you up and down, a small smirk growing on his features.

"Uh...can I help you?" He asked, straightening up and taking a step towards you. You immediately took one back, swallowing as you registered just how tall he is- he was basically towering over you.

Your words caught in your throat for a second as you tried to remember exactly why you'd been mad at him. His gaze, directed at you, was thick with intrigue and another emotion you can't decipher. It's throwing you off.

Your mouth opened and closed as the man rolled his eyes, turning around and heading back to the grave at your lack of response.

"Wait-"

He looked over his shoulder, his eyes cold this time. "What? Spit it out, little girl. I haven't got all night. In fact, you just interrupted my ritual."

Ritual? Suddenly, the candles and chalk circles on the tombstone made sense. You swallowed, mind swimming with a million thoughts. So, your suspicions were correct.

"I..." You clenched your fists. "I see you here everyday. This- this is my spot." You mumbled, realizing just how stupid you sounded as the words left your mouth.

The look he gave you only served to reinforce that.

"Your...spot?" He chuckled, crossing his arms and walking back towards you. "Do you own this graveyard, princess?" He asked, his tone filled with mock curiosity.

"I- no. But- there's never been anyone else in here with me-"

Hyunjin put his finger on his chin. "Why do you like this place so much, anyway? Someone your age should be out there, partying with your friends and what not." He said, sounding like he was talking to himself more than you.

"I like this place. It's quiet here. I've spent every night here for more than ten years." You explained, swallowing.

"Hm. Bad home life?"

"Understatement." You said softly, shaking your head. "It's been more than a year since I left home for good. Now I live here."

Hyunjin hummed, his tone filled with what seemed like genuine sympathy. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that...but unfortunately, I can't just pack up and leave. I have work to do. " He gestured to the pentagram. "I expect I'll be here a while."

"But..." You don't want this. You don't want him encroaching your space, leaving his arcane items and trinkets everywhere. You hated unfamiliarity, the way it made you feel cold and fearful. You'd spent all these years alone, after all...gotten used to the solitude.

"No...you c-can't." You muttered, steeling yourself to deliver your reply. It was extremely difficult denying this beautiful man. There was a part of you that was inexplicably pulled to him. Something about him excited you, sending tingles all over your body and melting away your inhibitions one by one.

"I can't? This place is big enough for the two of us, love. Why don't you want this?"

You grit your teeth. All these questions were irritating you. "I don't have a reason to let you stay."

Hyunjin bit his lip at that, nodding slowly. He pursed his lips, staying silent for a minute before his eyes slowly lit up with an idea.

"Tell you what...why don't I give you one?"

"Give me what?"

"A reason to let me stay."

You didn't miss the way his eyes sparkled with mischief as he uttered the words. Feeling your cheeks flush, you internally reminded yourself to stay strong.

No, you weren't going to budge, no matter what he offered you. Although...you had a small idea of what he was insinuating, and you'd be lying if you said the thought wasn’t enticing.

"Elaborate." You said cautiously, eyes widening a little when he backed you up against the statue behind you, catching you off guard.

"Why do that when I could just show you?" He asked, voice low and deep. His eyes bore into you, searching yours with an urgency.

"S-show me? I-"

He cut you off, leaning closer until your lips were brushing. His proximity made the words fizzle and die on your tongue, your cheeks burning as you looked up at him with wide eyes.

"So flustered. I haven't even done anything of significance yet." He chuckled, a finger coming up to trace your jawline.

"I don't-"

He rolled his eyes, closing the minimal distance between the two of you to press his plump lips to yours.

It felt like stars were exploding in your belly. You'd never been kissed before, and it seemed a little unfair to you that he would be your first. This devilishly handsome intruder, barrelling into your life without prior notice.

You kissed him back, though. Any shred of rationality left in your form was quickly disappearing as he nipped at your lips, letting out a soft moan into the kiss. He snaked his hands under your thighs, spreading them apart to fit himself in between. "Fuck..." His lips wandered down to your neck, kissing the spot gently before sucking on the smooth skin.

Pulling away after a few minutes to catch his breath, he grinned down at you. Your lips were red and kiss-bitten, your neck covered with marks. He prided himself in the masterpiece he'd created.

Inhaling, he leaned in again, lips ghosting your jaw. "Do you want this? Tell me you want this, Y/n."

"I...I do..." You said softly under your breath, avoiding his eyes as the embarrassment flooded your being.

"Louder." He hissed, pressing himself against you to let you feel the bulge growing in his pants.

"I want you!" You cried out, holding onto his shoulders as he lifted you up slightly. "Please, it's been years since I've been touched- I n-need it."

You closed your eyes, having caught a glimpse of his triumphant smirk and not wanting to see it for any longer than you had to. He had started to squeeze your thighs, warming you up as he placed a line of wet kisses down your neck.

"Good girl. Don't worry, I'll make you feel good. Promise." He assured, setting you on top of the base of the statue. The statue was that of an angel, and you would have found the situation funny if Hyunjin wasn't sliding his fingers up and down your covered clit, causing your brain to blank.

"So wet. You weren't lying when you said you haven't been touched in years, hm?"

You stayed silent, biting your lip in order to prevent a moan from bubbling out. He chuckled, pressing another kiss to your lips. "Thought so."

He grabbed the waistband of your panties with one hand, dragging it down and discarding them on the floor. Bringing his long fingers up to your lips, he pressed them in. "Suck." He ordered, staring at you intensely. His stare was so deep, You realized the undecipherable emotion had been lust all along, and your heart pounded.

You obeyed him immediately, sucking on his digits eagerly as your pussy throbbed, needing attention. You bucked your hips slightly, a needy expression directed at the man in front of you.

"An impatient one, are you?" He winked, pulling his fingers out of your mouth, travelling downwards to stroke your entrance.

"Lucky for you, I'm feeling pretty impatient tonight, too." He breathed, leaning forward to suck on your jaw as he pushed the digits past your walls, hissing at how tight you were.

"Fuck, I can't wait to feel you around my cock-" You exhaled shakily at his words, whining as he crooked his fingers up, finding your sweet spot with no difficulty. The sensations flooding throughout your body as he thrusted them into your cunt were incredible, ones you had never experienced before. It felt like your drab, dreary world confined to the cemetery was exploding with a burst of color as his fingers brought you to the edge.

"So pretty for me, baby. Am I making you feel good?"

What kind of question was that? Your moans were loud despite your best efforts to hold them back, your legs shivering and your lips quivering. The answer to that should be fairly obvious, you thought.

"Y-yeah. Love it- ah!" You cried out when his pace increased, his fingers almost a blur from how fast he was slamming them into you. He was able to fill you up so well even like this, and you found yourself drooling at the thought of what was to come.

"Fuck, you look so beautiful like this." He hummed, his thumb pressing onto your clit and rubbing gently. His other hand came up to your breast, flicking your nipple over the fabric and causing you to let out a gasp.

You were nearing the edge, hurtling towards it. Hyunjin didn't let up, adding a third finger and moving the trio at a speed that was almost inhumane.

"Fuck, you're close, aren't you? I can feel you clenching."

You nodded, tears pricking at your eyes as he slowed down his thrusts, making his fingers go as deep into your heat as he possibly could before pounding into you once more.

"You're a sight to behold." He mumbled, pressing his lips to yours gently, sucking on them. It was the last push you needed to fall over the edge, combined with his movements down south.

You'd never felt any sensation more otherworldly than the one taking over you at the moment. Your orgasm seized you mercilessly, sending electricity shooting over you and leaving you quaking in its wake.

His lips were still on yours as he groaned at the feeling of you squirting all over him. Pulling away, he observed the amount of juices that had spilled out of you and let out a wry chuckle.

"Fuck, I really want to make you do that again. On my cock, this time."

You spoke through pants, chest heaving. "Yes- yes please. Want." You mumbled incoherently, your brain turning into mush as you slumped in his hold.

He kissed your forehead, smiling. "And you will. Let's continue this at home, shall we?"

"Home?" You asked in confusion, peeling your eyes open. The graveyard was your home. What was he talking about?

"My home." He repeated, rubbing circles on your skin. "You'll be living with me from now on, baby."

You averted your eyes from him, disappointment filling you as he said the words. Tempting, but it would never happen. Your fate lay in this graveyard, your destiny an eternity of floating just beyond the veil.

"I..." You closed your eyes, a sob caught in your throat. "I can't...leave. I'm not-"

"I know."

You looked up, puzzled as his expression softened. He pulled you close to his body, picking you up. "You don't have to worry, love."

"You knew?" Your eyes widened in shock. You looked back over what had just happened, small clues that he was aware revealing themselves. You remembered suddenly that he'd known your name, even though you hadn't told it to him outright...he'd touched you, even felt you. The tiniest flicker of hope lit up your heart as he stared at you fondly.

"Yes." He kissed your forehead as he started moving to the gate. "You're no longer stuck here, darling." He said firmly.

You could barely contain all the emotions tangled in your heart as you tried to make sense of it all. Looking over his shoulder as he carried you, you ran your eyes over your tombstone and the candles he'd placed in front of it. The pentagram on top was still shining, illuminating the grave and setting it apart from the others.

"You're alive again, Y/n. And this time, you're mine."

Happy Halloween!

#hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #hyunjin angst #skz smut #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin imagines

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sleephyjhs · 4 years ago

Text

Sleeping Lions (Taehyung One-Shot)

pairing: dad!taehyung x pregnant!reader

genre: fluff ofc!! + family au (?)

summary: a quiet morning in the kim household was very much unheard of. a puppy, three small children and another on the way was constant cause for mayhem. when better to cause a raucous than an early sunday morning?

wc: 1.53K

song rec: stay here - gaho

note: i think this is my favourite thing i’ve ever written here, please enjoy!! <3

m.list | requested

The eventual gush of tepid sunlight through a thin gap between the curtains was the worst part of every sunday morning. Striking across your aching eyelids, the light disrupted your peaceful slumber and forced you to acknowledge the impending sunrise. You took a brief moment to wriggle around in the imprint you’d moulded into the mattress; the arrangement of pregnancy support pillows sometimes gave you more aches than they eradicated.

On lazy sundays such as these, sitting up straight away was more effort than what it was worth. Taking the few minutes that were left before your shared bed would be surely invaded to embrace the chilliness of the sheets were essential. Beside you laid your husband Taehyung who, visibly, seemed much less accustomed to the early morning than you. Bound on your back by the angled pillows and the growing bump you carried, you instead rolled your head over to face him. Cheeks puffy from a good night’s rest, Taehyung scrubbed the sleepy residue from his squinting eyes.

“Morning sleepyhead...” you groaned, harnessing his attention. His hearty pout widened into a toothy smile at the sight of you. Since you were unable to, Tae curled onto his side and reached a hand out to your bump. Smoothing down the crinkled fabric of your cami, he took a few moments to greet his unborn baby before registering you were there also. With his thumb, he stroked the curve where the most kicking activity seemed to be. Sure enough, the direct caressing alerted your baby it was morning time.

Following her first few kicks of the day, Taehyung returned his extended smile back to your face, “She’s getting stronger every week, you know.”

“Oh I know.” Out of all your children, this one definitely packed the strongest punch. Despite your bump being designed to protect her, her main goal was seemingly to escape, “One day she might just kick a whole right through.”

Taehyung chuckled at your prediction, adoring your sly smile that accompanied it. He took a small breath, evaluating which gentle statements were acceptable for so early in the morning, “At least we’d get to meet her a lot sooner.”

For an unborn child, she sure was already loved; beyond adored. Not a single baby of his wasn’t. All of the children you shared seemed to latch onto him differently to you. Being outnumbered by 3 kids to one adult, one might have thought Taehyung would struggle to divide his attention equally between them. Yet somehow, he always managed to make each one release their giggles. With a fourth on the way, it was beginning to look like you’d have to join in on some of their playtimes. Of course, there’d be no need to ask you twice.

“It’s not even two months to wait now! She’ll be here before we know it, Tae.” He chuckled at your sudden burst of enthusiasm. Usually such expression was reserved for later in the day yet for some reason, you couldn’t quite hold back.

Before any more reminders could be dished to one another, the still silence of your bedroom was ripples by a tuning bark. Taehyung turned back to look over the edge of the bed in disapproval of the columbus introduction, “Are you wanting to come up, Tannie? You feeling left out?”

A slight tilt of the head confirmed his suspicions. Without missing a beat, Taehyung offered his hand as a step up onto the mattress and soon enough, you were greeted with a daily lick to the cheek. Ruffling his flattened fur, you soon had Yeontan looking more like the majestic puppy he really was. The couple of you watched attentively as Yeontan approached the bump protruding from the mattress. Having a pet that reacted so gently to the welcoming of your children was more than a relief to you both, but neither of you ever failed to completely melt at the change of character he expressed when interacting with the smaller humans.

Seemingly uninterested in his surroundings, Yeontan stalker back up to the head of the mattress and snuggled between a small gap in the pillows (a spot generally reserved exclusively for him), “Still tired Tannie? I feel you.” Taehyung groaned groggily, making the final adjustments to waking up.

“Lazy day?” You asked. Taehyung opened one eye and furrowed the opposite eyebrow. It couldn’t have been more obvious that that was the plan anyway, “Lazy day it is!”

A few more blinks to really adjust to the light and you were ready to sit up a bit, “Can you just help me a second?” Before you could finish, Taehyung was already propped up on the bed, ready to roll onto his knees should the extra support be needed. Basic actions such as sitting up and climbing the stairs were becoming increasingly difficult with every passing day. Assuming that all the changes would be second nature by the fourth pregnancy was a regrettable mistake.

Huffing slightly as you scooted back into the pillow chair you’d recrafted for yourself, comfort was now yours, “Everything good?” Tae assured before realigning himself to match your new height.

Snapping the attention away from each other, the plain panel door to your shared bedroom sweeped open, revealing your second born, Jaehee, sucking his thumb, “What’s wrong little man?” Taehyung asked, leaning forward in order to comfort him, “You never suck your thumb.”

You pouted as Jaehee looked to you for assurance; something wasn’t right. Taehyung was observant. Thumb-sucking was a habit none of your children had really developed. However, it had its benefits at times; it was the perfect indicator of their mood, which was clear to both of you mattered more than most things, “You’re okay in here.”

Soft easings was how to approach your son. Nervous habits had become daily procedures with him and he rarely reacted well to direct approaches before. Taehyung patted the creased duvet, formally inviting Jaehee into your bedroom. Without any hesitation, he shuffled across the ivory carpets towards the foot of the bed. For the sake of your children, you’d previously purchased a small stepping stool for them to be able to climb in with you.

“Come here bub,” Taehyung cooed, wavering his hands to direct him over. Wobbling, Jaehee clambered over your outstretched legs and rushed into his dad’s arms where he collapsed into a cuddle, “wanna tell us what’s going on?”

“I missed you.” He muffled, head buried in Tae’s chest. Your heart could’ve melted right there and them. From the day you became parents, it had been your only goal to raise them with love and affection; seeing that your children had inherited the same love you showered them with was nothing short of a relief.

“We missed you too bud!” You replied, reaching out to tickle his side. His rowdy giggles curled him further into Tae’s chest, earning a bonus hair ruffle.

Just as the ripples of laughter began to settle down, the bedroom door edged open, instigated by a tiny hand, to reveal your two girls holding hands. Minju, the firstborn, clutched onto Somin, the most recent addition to the household. As the oldest child, it wasn’t uncommon for Minju to guide her siblings to where they needed to be. Perhaps the echoing giggles of their brother had guided them towards the main bedroom.

Suddenly, Somin yanked her hand from the grip of her sister and began to waddle towards the bed, “Tannie!”

Increasing in her speed, you couldn’t help but become worried. She still wasn’t the most stable on her two legs, and the last thing you needed was to search for the first aid box you’d slipped away somewhere, “Careful darling...” You warned, already holding out the arm to support her for when she climbed onto the bed.

Following behind, Minju shuffled across the carpet, clearly still not accustomed to the morning light. As Somin fussed over Yeontan, who remained curled between the pillows, Taehyung looked over to Minju, who was unusually quiet, “Everything okay?”

Minju nodded slowly, “Just sleepy!” Thankfully, the cheer in her high-pitched voice hadn’t dimmed overnight, “Mummy...”

“Yes~?” You smiles as she too clambered up the stepping stool at the foot of the bed. She crawled up the side of your legs and crouched at your hips. Her wavy baby hairs plastered against her cheeks; the best sign of a good night’s sleep.

“Is baby sister awake yet?” Minju asked innocently, gently holding her cheek against the curve of your bump. She was, by far, the most excited of your children, particularly after learning she’d have another sister. Being the most capable of understanding what was happening meant Minju frequently offered to help where you were less able. Taehyung had taught her to help make beds and organise shoes on the rack, and strangely enough she rather enjoyed it.

Flashing a quick smile to Taehyung, who watched his eldest daughter with softened eyes, “Well, if you feel around here,” you began, leading her hand slightly upwards, “she might give you a small kick to say hello!”

Along with Taehyung, you chuckled as her eyes illuminated. In all fairness, you too became just as excited whenever your precious cargo decided to say good morning.

^ congratulations! your request is my most favourite post i’ve ever written 🥺 thank you for this!!

#bts #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #bangtan #taehyung fluff #bts reactions #taehyung imagine #taehyung boyfriend #bts imagines #bts one shot #bts drabble #request #bts headcanon #bts mtl #taehyung x y/n #taehyung one shot #taehyung au #taehyung icons

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james-joyces-right-eyeball · 3 years ago

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Absolute Favorite Books I’d Recommend to Anyone

This is a list of my top-tier favorite books that I would recommend/talk about endlessly to pretty much anyone (in no particular order). I know people probably don’t care but I just like talking about books I love so here we are.

Beloved - Toni Morrison

~ Based off the real story of Margaret Garner, a slave woman who escaped slavery and when captured killed her child in order to prevent them from ever being enslaved again, Beloved tells the story of a mother named Sethe, born in slavery who eventually escaped and is haunted by the figurative demons of her trauma and the literal (arguably) ghost of her dead daughter, who she herself killed. It is an excellent exploration of the horrors of slavery and of the haunting legacy of the institution for those who were subjected to it.

Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

~ If you’ve been on Tumblr for a while, you probably know what Lolita is. The story of the predatory Humbert Humbert who lusts after, rapes, and kidnaps the “nymphet” Dolores Haze. An excellent construction of how predators, unreliable narrators in their own right, hide behind fabrications, almost-believable excuses, and pretty words to make their actions seem maybe not so bad. In the words of the book itself, “You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.”

Ulysses - James Joyce

~ Notoriously one of the most difficult books in the English language, Ulysses lifts its structure from Homer’s Odyssey to tell the story of a common man, Leopold Bloom, as he goes about his day. Yes, this book takes place over the course of only one day. We follow Bloom as well as Joyce’s literary counterpart Stephen Daedalus through their thoughts and actions, gathering details of their lives previous throughout. It’s a book that, in my own words, “is life”. It is sad, funny, strange, vulgar, disgusting, beautiful, revelatory, sensual, and nonsensical all at once. Joyce aimed to create a reflection of life through his stream-of-consciousness style which some people might find confusing, but I personally find absolutely beautiful and honest and realistic. The prose is also gorgeous, but that could be applied to everything Joyce wrote.

Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

~ The classic gothic book that tells the tale of Heathcliff and his ultimately destructive love of Catherine Earnshaw, whose eventual marriage to someone else and the general mistreatment of him by her family drives Heathcliff insane and he spends the rest of his life trying to take revenge by abusing and torturing the next Earnshaw and Linton (the family into which Catherine marries) generations. If I’m being honest, I like this book mostly because of how wild and dark it is, but the writing is also genius and beautiful. I think the book also carries an interesting view of the destructive nature of revenge, overzealous love, and othering.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith

~ A coming-of-age story at the turn of the century that tells the story of Francie Nolan, a young bookish girl growing up in a lower class family in New York City. It tells about her father’s struggles with alcoholism as well as her mother’s struggles to deal with that and at the same time raise Francie and her brother. Francie is confronted with a strange, uncertain world as a young girl, but tries to face it with bravery throughout childhood

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

~ Another coming-of-age story, this time about four young sisters: Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy March. You are probably familiar with this book already; it’s had more movie adaptations then I can possibly remember off the top of my head. It’s the story of four sisters as they try to navigate growing up, love, and loss during the mid to late 1800s.

The Color Purple - Alice Walker

~ A novel that tells the story of Celie, a young black woman who is raped and then married young to a man who will go on to use and abuse her, through her letters to God. Throughout the novel she meets Shug Avery, a woman with whom she eventually falls in love and begins a relationship with. Through this and her eventual freedom from her abusive husband, she is able to gain at last her own sense of self and take back control over her life, a life no longer ruled by the abusive men around her.

The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison

~ The tragic story of young black girl Pecola Breedlove, who wants nothing more than to have blonde hair and blue eyes just like the women she sees in the movies. Both a deconstruction of the whiteness of beauty standards as well as how these standards can utterly destroy vulnerable young girls, it is also an exploration of the people who allow these sorts of things to happen, including Pecola’s mother and father. The Bluest Eye, I think, showcases one of the aspects of Toni Morrison that I like the most, that I aspire to the most: her ability to enter the minds of all people, even people who you might despise at first. Her characters, especially Cholly in The Bluest Eye, are ones you might not entirely sympathize with, but they will always be ones you understand.

The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

~ Based off of the author’s own experiences as a young college student, The Bell Jar tells the story of Esther Greenwood, whose depression over her place as a woman in a patriarchal society as well as her inability to choose a life path for herself leads to a suicide attempt and a subsequent stay in a mental hospital. A very nuanced portrayal of mental illness, especially anxiety and depression, The Bell Jar is an extremely moving and relatable story for me and clearly is as well for others. It is a classic for a reason.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou

~ A memoir of Angelou’s childhood, this book tells the story of her experiences living as a black girl in the south with her grandmother and brother as well as her later years living with her mother. It also tells of how she was raped by her mother’s boyfriend when she was around eight or nine, and how she struggled to live with that and find her voice, both literally and figuratively. A wonderful book about overcoming struggles and the power of words and literature in such times.

Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison

~ Ellison’s novel tells the story of a young black man, never getting a name in the text, and his feelings of invisibility and his struggles to find a place in society to belong. His struggles only lead him further into despair, until he decides to “become invisible” as people seem not to see him as a person anyway. Invisible Man is an exploration of American mid-century racism and the isolation it causes to those subjected to it. Not only that, but it is surprisingly relevant to our times now, especially on the subject of police violence. (Personal anecdote: When I first read this book, when I got to the aforementioned police violence part it was right in the middle of the BLM resurgence last summer and I cried for a good twenty minutes while reading that chapter over how nothing had changed and it still hurts me to think about it. Embarrassingly, my dad walked in on me while I was crying, and I had to quickly explain it away.)

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce

~ The title basically says it all lol. This book tells of the coming-of-age of Stephen Daedalus (the same one from the later-written Ulysses). His sensitive childhood, his awkward and lustful adolescence, his feelings of Irish nationality and Catholic guilt, and his struggles to fully realize himself, both as an artist and a human being. It is a very hopeful story, and one that I love mostly because I relate so much to Stephen Daedalus as an artist and as a person.

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

~ A magical-realist intergenerational family drama, Marquez’s book traces the various lives and loves of the Buendia family over the course of (you guessed it!) one hundred years. A beautifully written, at times extremely emotionally moving and chilling masterpiece, Marquez in a way retells the history of Colombia, of its colonization and exploitation.

Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

~ A classic Russian novel of society and love, Tolstoy tells the story of Anna Karenina, married, wealthy woman with a child she adores. However, she falls in love with another man, Count Vronsky, and comes to a tragic end for her love. The parallel story of the novel is that of Konstantin Levin, a wealthy landowner who also struggles to find fulfillment in his life and understand his place in society.

The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner

~ A novel that features an entire family of unreliable narrators, The Sound and the Fury details the fall of a once-prominent southern Compson family and always-present place of the past. There are four different narratives: Benjy Compson, a mentally disabled man who is unsure of his surroundings and of time and only knows that he misses his older sister Caddy; Quintin Compson, the eldest son and a Harvard man both obsessed with his sister retaining her “purity” and the fact that she failed to do so and had a baby out of wedlock, going as far to claim it is his baby in an attempt to preserve something of the family reputation; Jason Compson, who is the caretaker of Caddy’s daughter and believes her to be going down her mother’s “sinful” path; and Dilsey, the black maid of the Compson’s who unlike the people she cares for is not weighed down by their history. The narratives take place in different time periods and is in a stream-of-consciousness style. It’s a deeply dark and disturbing novel about the haunting nature of the past, a common theme in Faulkner’s work (see Absalom, Absalom! for more of this).

Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison

~ It is the story of Milkman Dead, a young black man growing up in the south and his relationship with his very complicated family. To say anymore would be to spoil the novel, but I will say that it is an excellent book about family, self-fulfillment in a world that tries to deny you that, and, like The Bluest Eye, exhibits Morrison’s excellent character work.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - Tennessee Williams

~ A play which takes place on the patriarch of a family’s birthday in the oppressive heat of the midsummer south, Williams’ play explores lies, secrets, and how repression only results in anger, frustration, and sadness. It’s a tragic but brilliant play that I think was very ahead of its time. If you’ve read it (or do read it) then you know what I mean.

Giovanni’s Room - James Baldwin

~ This book tells the story of a young man and his love of another man named Giovanni while he is in Paris. It is a book about love, queer guilt, and has what I would call an ambiguous ending. There is uncertainty at the end, but there does seem to be some kind of acceptance. It is a bit of a coming-out story, but more than that it is a story of personal acceptance and at the same time a sad, tragic love story.

HERmione - H.D.

~ An underrated modernist masterpiece, HERmione is a somewhat fictionalized account of the author, Hilda Doolittle’s, experience as a young aspiring poet dating another poet (in real life Ezra Pound in this book named George Lowndes) who is a threat to her both physically and emotionally. It explores her own mental state, as she considers herself a failure and falls in love with a woman for the first time (Fayne Rabb in the book, Frances Gregg in real life).

To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf

~ People think about going to a lighthouse. They do not. A couple years and a war passes then they do. That may seem like a boring plot, and you may be right. However, To the Lighthouse is not much about plot. It is more about the inner lives of its characters, a family and their friends, on two different occasions of their lives: one before WWI and one after WWI. Woolf explores in this novel the trauma that results from such a massive loss of life and security. Not only that, she also explores the nature of art (especially in female artists) in the character of Lily Briscoe and her struggles to complete a painting. It’s a short novel, but it contains so much about life, love, and loss within these few pages.

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - Carson McCullers

~ A southern gothic novel about isolation and loneliness in a small town. Every character has something to separate them from wider society, and often find solace and companionship in a deaf man, John Singer, who himself experiences a loneliness that they cannot understand. There are various forms of social isolation explored in this novel: by race, disability, age, gender, etc. A wonderful, heart-wrenching book about loneliness and the depths it can potentially drag people to.

The Waste Land - T.S. Eliot

~ A modernist masterpiece of a poem, Eliot describes feeling emptiness and isolation. The brilliance of it can only be shown by an excerpt:

“Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither Living nor dead, and I knew nothing, Looking into the heart of light, the silence.”

“The river’s tent is broken: the last fingers of leaf Clutch and sink into the wet bank. The wind Crosses the brown land, unheard. The nymphs are departed. Sweet Thames, run softly, till I end my song. The river bears no empty bottles, sandwich papers, Silk handkerchiefs, cardboard boxes, cigarette ends Or other testimony of summer nights. The nymphs are departed. And their friends, the loitering heirs of city directors; Departed, have left no addresses. By the waters of Leman I sat down and wept . . . Sweet Thames, run softly till I end my song, Sweet Thames, run softly, for I speak not loud or long. But at my back in a cold blast I hear The rattle of the bones, and chuckle spread from ear to ear. “

(My personal favorite line from this poem is, “I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”)

The Trial - Franz Kafka

~ The protagonist of the novel, Josef K., wakes up one morning to find that he has been placed under arrest for reasons that are kept from him. Kafka creates throughout the novel a scathing satire of bureaucracy, as K. tries to find out more about his case, more about his trial, but only becomes more confused as he digs deeper. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the world he lives in, and the more tries to explain it the further the more that proves to be the case. An excellently constructed novel and a great one to read if you would like to be depressed about the state of the world because, though Kafka’s work is a satire, like a lot of his other work, it manages to strike a strangely real note.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead - Tom Stoppard

~ An absurdist play that is a retelling of Shakespeare’s Hamlet from the perspective of minor characters, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, who in the broad overview of the original play, do not matter. Throughout the play, they question their existence and the purpose of it and through that Stoppard dissects not only the absurdity of life, but how fiction and theater reflect that absurdity inadvertently.

As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner

~ The novel details the journey the Bundren family makes after the death of the family matriarch, Addie, to bury her. Each chapter offers a different narrative from the family members and those who surround them, revealing some ulterior motives to them “going to town” to bury Addie. The patriarch Anse desires a pair of false teeth, and the daughter Dewey Dell is pregnant and needs an abortion, as there is no way for her or her family to support it. It’s about the powerlessness of people in the impoverished south. The Bundrens are constantly subject to forces beyond their control, struggles which would be easily solved if they had the money to spare for it. There is more to the book, but that is my favorite reading of it, that of class. Faulkner’s ability to create distinct voices for every one of his characters shines through here.

And, last but not least:

The Collected Poems - Sylvia Plath

~ All the poems Plath wrote during her tragically short lifetime. The best way to demonstrate or summarize the book’s brilliance is just to show you. This is her poem “Edge”, which appears in the book:

“The woman is perfected. Her dead Body wears the smile of accomplishment, The illusion of a Greek necessity Flows in the scrolls of her toga, Her bare Feet seem to be saying: We have come so far, it is over. Each dead child coiled, a white serpent, One at each little Pitcher of milk, now empty. She has folded Them back into her body as petals Of a rose close when the garden Stiffens and odors bleed From the sweet, deep throats of the night flower. The moon has nothing to be sad about, Staring from her hood of bone. She is used to this sort of thing. Her blacks crackle and drag.”

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! HAPPY READING TO ALL!

#dark academia #books and literature #toni morrison #james joyce #tennessee williams #virginia woolf #william faulkner #sylvia plath #plays #poetry #can you tell i like southern and modernist lit lol?

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latetaektalk · 5 years ago

Text

in love with you | bbh

“you have been in love with byun baekhyun ever since you were children, but to him you were only his best friend. you were fine with that, fine with being nothing more than friends with baekhyun, but when he starts his search for true love and doesn’t look at you to find it, you weren’t sure anymore if you were truly fine with just being friends.”

“or the four times you try to dye baekhyun’s hair.”

genre: best friends with to lovers! AU, semi college! AU, angst, fluff

pairing: baekhyun x reader

word count: 19.021 (i dont know how i did this in six days)

warnings: cursing, bad singing and dancing

playlist: ifly - bazzi, break my heart again - finneas, love story - taylor swift, claudia - finneas

a/n: okay, i wanted to finish this before baekhyun’s bday, but i only realised it was his bday like six days ago. so i basically wrote this all in six-ish days and i haven’t even edited it. but im posting it because its his birthday! this was meant to be pure fluff, but somehow turned out much more angsty than i wanted it to? anyway, happy bday to baekhyun!

masterlist

You two were sitting on your couch, watching ‘Community’ for the hundredth time when Baekhyun turned his head to you and looked at you.

“I want to dye my hair.”

Your eyes tore away from the TV screen and instead travelled to Baekhyun. You furrowed your brows at him. Baekhyun knew the moment he had said the words that he really wanted to dye his hair and that he didn’t just say it because he was bored.

“What?” you said, confused. Your attention was now completely on Baekhyun and your TV faded into the background, serving as background noise than anything else.

“I want to dye my hair,” Baekhyun repeated before smiling at you. He watched the knit between your brows deepen and he knew you weren’t completely convinced of the idea.

“Okay,” you said, voice wavering a little with worry as you eyed his healthy and luscious and beautiful and full hair, “You mean like dye it brown?”

“No,” Baekhyun said without missing a beat even though he hadn’t actually thought much about it. Instead he decided in the moment. “I want red hair.”

“Red?” you blurted out and sat up straighter, eyes growing bigger at Baekhyun’s words. His lips split into a grin and he gave you a nod, a nod that had you shaking your head.

“Bright red.”

“You sure?” you asked before you reached over to run your fingers through his hair, “Your hair won’t be the same after dyeing it.”

Baekhyun shrugged and gave you a grin that had your heart beating a little too fast. It was sad how easy it was for you to ignore it, for you to push it away because you had gotten so used to Baekhyun having such a big effect on you.

It didn’t take you long to realise that you were in love with Baekhyun. In fact, you knew it the first time he had smiled at you when you two were measly 6 years old. You felt stupid, stupid for being still in love with him after so many years, but his name was just written on your heart. It belonged to him and you had accepted that you couldn’t change anything about it, couldn’t change anything even if you tried your hardest.

Instead of attempting to erase Baekhyun’s name with another over and over again, instead of attempting to burn away Baekhyun’s name, you locked your heart into a cage. You threw away the key to it, scared that if you didn’t, certain words were going to slip off your tongue one day and ruin the friendship Baekhyun and you had built.

“Who cares?” Baekhyun continued and you scrunched up your face, “It’s just hair and you only live once, right?”

You hummed, still very much unconvinced. You kept threading your fingers through Baekhyun’s hair and he let you. For a moment, you thought he was leaning into your touch, but you quickly dismissed that thought. There was no way, no way because to Baekhyun you were nothing more than just a friend.

“You really sure?” you asked and Baekhyun laughed at how you contourted your face, the worry and uncertainty written all across your face.

“Yes, I really want bright red hair,” Baekhyun said and you tilted your head to the side, pursing your lips into a thin line.

“You sure you thought about this or are you just saying you wanna do it without even thinking about it?” you said and Baekhyun reached for your hand, fingers wrapping around your wrist to pull your hand from his hair. He put his other hand on yours and gave your hand a squeeze.

It wasn’t fair how easy your hand melted into his, wasn’t fair because it was like the universe was laughing at you, mocking you because your hands just fit perfectly, but it was the only way you two fit together. You would never hold his hand, never hold his hand because you were more than friends because, again, you weren’t, not to Baekhyun at least.

“I’m sure,” Baekhyun smiled and nodded to confirm his words. You sighed and you knew there was no convincing Baekhyung otherwise.

“I guess you’re old enough, right?” you just said and Baekhyun grin grew a little bigger at your words, causing your heart to skip a beat, rattling its cage a little. You paid it no more mind anymore. Your heart always just did that whenever Baekhyun grinned at you like that. It was normal, expected now.

“Okay, great,” Baekhyun cheered before squeezing your hand again, “Will you dye my hair for me?”

You pulled your hand out of Baekhyun’s grasp and shook your head, horror settling in your chest because deep down you knew Baekhyun was going to force you to do it and you just didn’t want to. You would never be able to sleep if Baekhyun blamed you for ruining his hair. Too much responsibility.

“Please,” Baekhyun started and both of you knew you were going to give in eventually. You could never actually say no to him, not to Baekhyun, not to your Baekhyun.

“No, Baek, I don’t know how to dye-”

“There are so many YouTube videos and tutorials,” Baekhyun started and inched closer. You kept shaking your head and shuffled away, being too close was dangerous. “It’s easy. I’m sure.”

“Then do it yourself,” you said, but Baekhyun frowned at your suggestion.

“How? Do I have eyes at the back of my head-”

“Use a mirror,” you cut in and Baekhyun frowned even more, knit deepening between his brows.

“Can’t you just help me?” Baekhyun whined and took a hold of your hands, wrapping both of them into his now, “Be a good friend?”

He looked at you with his big brown eyes and it was then that you knew you couldn’t resist any longer, knew you couldn’t keep saying no anymore. The pout Baekhyun added, did nothing but make it more difficult for you and you hated yourself for being so weak, for being so weak for Baekhyun.

The fact that your heart tightened painfully at Baekhyun calling you a friend barely registered in your mind anymore. You had gotten so used to the pain, had gotten so used to being nothing more than a friend to Baekhyun that it barely affected you anymore. At least that was what you told yourself.

“Fine.”

“Okay, so, looks like I gotta bleach my hair a bunch of times before we can actually dye it,” Baekhyun informed you and put down his phone. You looked up from your laptop and raised your brows, still very much unconvinced.

Baekhyun hadn’t mentioned something about dyeing his hair for a whole week and a part of you had hoped that he had forgotten about it, but, of course, he hadn’t. You tucked a strand behind your ear and your back cracked when you straightened up.

You had been studying for way too long now and it was taking a toll on you. The uncomfortable chairs in the library certainly didn’t make it any easier for you to stay focused.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do it,” you said, not really feeling like bleaching Baekhyun’s hair over and over again, “I mean bleaching your hair a bunch of times. Won’t it fall out, then?”

Baekhyun scrunched up his face at your words, obviously sad that you were trying to convince him again not to dye his hair. He leaned forward and rested his arms against the table, hands folding together.

“But I wanna dye my hair,” Baekhyun whined and you cringed a little, asking yourself how he could be older than you and how he could be a functioning adult if he cried like a baby every time things didn’t quite go his way.

“I’m just saying, Baek,” you shrugged and Baekhyun pushed out his lower lip as he batted his eyelashes at you.

“But I want red hair,” Baekhyun repeated and you sighed, folding your arms in front of your chest.

“Maybe just go to a professional-”

“You think I’ve got the money?” Baekhyun said and you pressed your lips together, knowing exactly that he didn’t have enough money, remembering the amount of ramen he consumed in a month just simply because it was cheaper and he had to cut corners everywhere he could.

“I don’t want you to blame me if it turns out shitty or if you lose all of your hair or something,” you explained and tightened your arms around your chest. Baekhyun rolled his eyes at you and you were about to kick him in the shin for it when he spoke up.

“It won’t. It’ll be fine, I’m sure,” Baekhyun said and you were about to voice your complaints and worries when he continued on, “And if anything I won’t blame you. It’d be my fault because I’m essentially forcing you to dye my hair.”

“How can you be so sure?” you asked, unable to understand how Baekhyun could talk with such confidence when neither of you had any experience in dyeing hair before.

“I trust you.”

Your heart rattled its cage and for a moment, you thought it was going to knock it over and free itself and you were going to scream out the three words that had been dancing on your tongue since Baekhyun and you were children, but it wasn’t enough. The rattle wasn’t enough and a part of you thanked the universe it wasn’t and another wished it had been enough because then maybe Baekhyun and you could be something.

You hated yourself, hated yourself for being so fucking pathetic, for getting your hopes worked up every time Baekhyun was being somewhat affectionate with you and you wished you could get over it, stop obsessing over his every word, but your heart didn’t allow you to stop.

When it clicked in your mind that you had been silent for maybe a little too long, you snapped out of your thoughts and focused on the present right now.

“How about Chaeyoung? She has experience in dyeing hair. She did it on herself a bunch of times,” you said, voice wavering just the slightest. A part of you was still shaken up about the possibility of the three words spilling out.

Baekhyun scrunched up his face when you said ‘Chaeyoung’. The second her name fell from your lips, he disliked the idea, no, in fact, he hated it.

“What’s wrong with Chaeyoung?” you asked, puzzled because Chaeyoung was nothing but nice and cute and sweet. Baekhyun shrugged before his head landed in his hands, his low grunt muffled by the table. Your eyes scanned the people around you and you let out a relieved breath when nobody was looking at you.

“Hello? I asked you a question, Baek. What’s wrong with Chaeyoung?” you said and took one of your pens to throw it against Baekhyun’s head when he wouldn’t respond. It bounced against his hair before falling to the side.

“Ow.”

Baekhyun looked up and rubbed his head as he sat up straight. His eyes locked with yours and for once, the pout was gone from his lips.

“What’s wrong with Chaeyoung?” you repeated your question and Baekhyun scowled at you, obviously unhappy about the fact that you had just thrown a pen at him.

“That hurt, you know?” Baekhyun said before he dropped his hand and took your pen into his hand, twirling it around as he leaned into his chair. You rolled your eyes at him and you had to bite away the smile that tugged on the corners of your lips.

“What’s wrong with Chaeyoung?” you asked for a third time and Baekhyun sighed, scowl melting away as he stared at you in complete seriousness. Your heart started to pound in your chest, but you were quick to tell it to shut up, to stop being like that, to stop because Baekhyun and you were only friends, nothing more. You were about to put another lock on it, another lock to the hundred locks you had already put on it in a vain attempt to get it under control when Baekhyun answered.

“She isn’t you.”

Fuck.

“Fine,” you said after a beat, your mind made up. Baekhuyn beamed at you and you could only smile back at him too, seeing him so happy made you happy as well.

“Love you,” Baekhyun grinned and your smile almost faltered. Words almost slipped off your tongue, words that you could never let out. You wanted to tell Baekhyun that he didn’t, that he didn’t love, that he didn’t love you the way you did, that he didn’t love you the way you wanted him to.

“Love you too, Baek.”

You hated that those three words, that sentence ‘She isn’t you’, was all it took for Baekhyun to break the hundred locks you had put on the cage. And almost, almost, your heart had spilled out, but somehow you held the cage shut, somehow held it shut long enough to put a new, better, stronger lock on it. And you followed that lock with thousand more, determined to keep your heart silent and locked away forever.

Those three words were also all it took for you to completely give in, to quench your worries and doubts about dyeing Baekhyun’s hair. From that day on, you were completely convinced, looking up various articles to ensure the health of Baekhyun’s hair and scalp.

At first, Baekhyun was excited that you were so committed to dyeing his hair now, but after the tenth text about the measures he and you had to take before dyeing his hair, he wasn’t sure if he wanted you to be this on board anymore.

“It’s gonna be fine.”

He had to say those words over and over again until they lost all their meaning to him. Baekhyun started to repeat them like a robot, saying them before you could get a word out.

“Why don’t you tell her she’s lowkey annoying you?” Sehun asked and shoved his hands into his pockets as he and Baekhyun made their way down the street to the coffee shop to grab a coffee before class. Baekhyun frowned at Sehun’s suggestion and immediately shook his head at him.

“She isn’t annoying me,” Baekhyun said with a slight edge swinging in his voice and Sehun immediately put up his hands, obviously noticing the way Baekhyun had said the words.

“Hey, I’m just saying,” Sehun said and Baekhyun’s frown slipped away, realising himself that he had maybe reacted a little too harsh, “I mean you’re complaining to me about her, aren’t you?”

Baekhyun stopped and thought to himself. Sehun was right, he had turned to him to talk about how he and you had just texted for ten minutes to figure out when to dye his hair because you didn’t want to bleach his hair more than once during a day, but you weren’t annoying. You couldn’t be.

You were just worried and Baekhyun was just sometimes a little impatient. If anything, it was his fault for being so impatient. You were just being a great friend.

“She doesn’t annoy me,” Baekhyun said and Sehun looked at him, “She could never.”

Sehun eyed Baekhyun for a moment before snorting and shaking his head at him. Baekhyun raised his brows, not quite catching up with Sehun. They turned the corner and Sehun opened the door to the coffee shop, the bell above the door ringing to announce their entrance.

Immediately the scent of coffee and pastries made their way to Baekhyun and it was considerably warmer inside the shop than outside. It wasn’t that it was very cold outside, spring starting to replace the winter, but the air outside was still somewhat fresh and biting.

“Are you in love with her, dude?” Sehun chortled and a grin pulled on his lips, both of them stopping in front of the line. Baekhyun pressed his lips into a thin line before he let a few scoffs slip, head shaking from left to right almost in an instant, almost like he had trained himself to.

“No,” Baekhyun said and he cringed because he had said it a little too loud. Maybe Sehun was being a good friend because it was obvious that Baekhyun didn’t really want to talk about it or maybe it was because Sehun didn’t notice, but he didn’t mention it, mention the slight raise in Baekhyun’s voice.

Even as Sehun started to talk about what he should order, Baekhyun wasn’t quite there, wasn’t quite listening anymore. Instead his mind was still repeating Sehun’s question over and over again.

There was no way, right?

Before Baekhyun could shake the thought out of his head and decide to ignore it, a familiar voice cut in.

“Byun Baekhyun?”

It was truly remarkable, remarkable how Baekhyun and you could just decide to ignore things, ignore the questions repeating in your minds over and over again. Maybe that was why Baekhyun and you were best friends, maybe that was why he and you got along so well.

Because the next time Baekhyun and you saw each other, he had the most excited smile plastered on his lips, ready to do this.

“Let’s go,” Baekhyun grinned and held up the plastic bag, containing everything you had told him to buy to make sure Baekhyun’s hair wouldn’t fall out the second the bleach touched his hair.

You pointed at the chair next to your biggest window, papers laying on your floor around it in a circle already to make sure that none of the bleach or dye would fall onto your floor and cost you your deposit. In front of the chair you had put up a small mirror to give Baekhyun the chance to look at himself whenever he wanted.

Baekhyun skipped to your chair and you just shook your head at him. Unlike him you weren’t excited or giddy or happy. Instead you were still worried, worried that you were going to fuck this up even though you have read every online article out there on how to dye hair and even though you have watched every hairdresser reacts to and hair dyeing video on YouTube. In fact, you had done more research on how to dye hair and how to do it well and whatnot that on any other topic.

“We really have to spread this process out into weeks?” Baekhyun asked, shrugging off his hoodie to reveal a simple white tee.

“Look, you said you didn’t want to lose your hair and that you didn’t mind being blonde for a while. We’ve gotta bleach your hair at least twice to get the red you want at the end. So, unless you want to lose all of your hair, we can do it all in one day,” you said and shut Baekhyun up.

You made your way over to him, picking up the plastic bag Baekhyun had put next to him to sift through the things he had bought. You pulled out the bleach and the mixing bowl with the brush.

“Can you take out the scale?” you asked and nodded to the plastic bag. Baekhyun picked it up and searched for the scale he had brought from home before following you to your couch and placing it on your coffee table.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked and you turned on the scale, putting the mixing bowl and brush on top of it.

“Making the bleach,” you said and poured the baby blue bleach powder into the bowl before pulling the top off the developer, making sure that you were keeping the mixture in a two to one ratio.

Baekhyun eyed you carefully as he watched you mix together the powder with the development, amazement sparkling in his eyes.

“You’re so good at this,” Baekhyun mumbled and you just rolled your eyes at him, but you couldn’t quite hide away the grin that pulled on his lips.

“Yeah, can you put on some music and get a towel from the bathroom?” you asked and Baekhyun nodded, sitting and watching you for another second before doing as he was told. Your eyes followed Baekhyun as he stood up and walked away and you sighed to yourself.

As Bazzi filled up your flat, you finished up mixing the bleach together. The powder and developer had turned into a baby blue paste and Baekhyun was standing with a towel wrapped around his shoulders, smiling at you.

This my baby This my Look

“Sit,” you said to Baekhyun and gestured to the chair. He wrapped the towel tighter around his shoulders and he couldn’t hide the grin adorning his lips.

“Hold.” You handed Baekhyun the mixing bowl to put on gloves, not really up to bleaching your skin before ruffling through the plastic bag again. You split Baekhyun’s hair into four same sized sections, clipping the pieces of hair together with hair barrettes.

Touchin' you slowly, love how you hold me I was a player, that was the old me I sent a prayer for something holy Got naked and show me

“Okay, you’re really ready?” you said after you had taken back the mixing bowl from Baekhyun and stood behind him. Your eyes looked with Baekhyun’s in the mirror in front of you.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun breathed out, lips splitting apart into an even bigger grin.

Girl, summer's been lonely, yeah At first, I was hesitant (Spooky) Like a skeleton You 20, but intelligent

You waited for another moment, giving him the last chance to change his mind, but when Baekhyun just nodded again, you shrugged and put on the first bit of bleach. Almost immediately Baekhyun let out a tiny gasp.

“Okay, no turning back,” Baekhyun laughed as you distributed the bleach in his hair, still unsure what you were doing because even after watching every hair dyeing tutorial out there, you didn’t feel very comfortable or skilled in doing this.

Now all them other bitches so irrelevant, ah-ah, yeah Tan lines and some memories (Woo) Guess summer got the best of me (Woo)

You started out with the length of Baekhyun’s hair, not wanting for the roots to bleach quicker than the rest of his hands. You scrunched up your nose when you got the first whiff of the bleach, the smell of it really not sitting that well with you.

Chef B with the recipe, yeah With you, it's a better me

“Who would have thought that one day I’d be dyeing my hair?” Baekhyun said and smiled at you through the mirror. You just shook your head at him and kept your eyes trained on his hair, making sure that you evenly distributed the bleach.

“I guess what I'm sayin', I guess what I'm sayin', I guess what I'm sayin' is, I-I fuckin' love you,” Baekhyun started singing and took the words out of Bazzi’s mouth. Your eyes flickered to Baekhyun’s face and you smiled, smiled as you looked at every centimetre of his face.

His eyes were fluttered shut, words slipping off his tongue with such easy and grace that it was truly admirable. His voice was angelic and you wanted to hear more, wanted for him to never stop singing.

For a moment, you just focused on Baekhyun, on how beautiful he was, on how much your heart wanted him to say those words to you. Your heart rattled in its cage, fought against the metal bars, banged on them in a vain attempt to get out, but you didn’t allow it, didn’t allow it to win.

You started bleaching Baekhyun’s hair when you realised just how quick it was lifting. Baekhyun kept singing, kept taking the words out of Bazzi’s mouth and you silently hummed along to the melody. The song soon started to play on repeat.

The barrettes landed on the floor with a little bleach on them as you worked your way through Baekhyun’s hair, starting to get the hang of it. And you were completely focused on that, on dyeing Baekhyun’s hair, but when he poked you into your waist, your eyes shot to him.

“Sing with me,” Baekhyun said and you raised your brows at him. Baekhyun kept going, kept singing, but he never looked away from you. You knew he was waiting for you to join in, for you to start singing as well, but you weren’t quite sure.

“Please.”

And it was all it took for you to join Baekhyun, for you to sing along and the grin that spread across Baekhyun’s lips had your heart beating a little too fast for your own liking.

I guess what I'm sayin', I guess what I'm sayin' I guess what I'm sayin' is, I I fuckin' love you (I do)

Your eyes locked with Baekhyun’s as he and you sung the words and you wished they hadn’t, wished that he had been looking somewhere else, wished he had his eyes closed or something because in an instant you could feel this seed of hope plant itself into your chest, watered by every word and look Baekhyun gave you. Your heart reacted immediately and you made sure to put on extra locks.

This wasn’t your first jam out session with Baekhyun, wasn’t your first time singing with Baekhyun, wasn’t your first time belting out love songs at the top of your lungs with Baekhyun - ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift was the song that started it.

You knew by now that it was stupid, that it meant nothing, that you were nothing more to Baekhyun than a friend, but you could never not get your hopes up. You could never tell your heart not to, not even as it hurt so bad when your hopes and expectations were quenched later on.

“I guess what I'm sayin', I guess what I'm sayin', I guess what I'm sayin' is, I-I fuckin' love-”

“Skip,” you said, almost commanding Baekhyun to and cut in before he could finish the lyric. The words died on Baekhyun’s tongue and he furrowed his brows at you. “Skip the song.”

“Why?”

You couldn’t quite take the way Baekhyun was looking at you and instead started working on the back of Baekhyun’s head, forcing him out of your view.

“We’ve listened to it long enough,” you lied and swallowed the truth, not wanting to admit that you couldn’t take it, couldn’t take Baekhyun saying that he ‘fucking loved you’ whilst he looked at you and actually didn’t.

Baekhyun hummed before shrugging and pulling out his phone to skip the song. But to your dismay, the next song was even worse.

Hey, you I'm just now leaving Can I come around later on this evening? Or do you need time? Yes, of course, that's fine

Finneas’ voice filled up the air around you and you wanted to tell Baekhyun to skip the song again, but when he started humming along to the melody - his brows pinched together and his eyes fluttered shut - you couldn’t bring yourself to. Not when he looked like that, not when he looked so incredibly beautiful.

Soon enough Baekhyun started singing along, started to make the song his own and soon enough your heart jumped to your ears and pounded so loud in them that it was deafening, so loud in them that it hurt.

So go ahead and break my heart again Leave me wonderin' why the hell I ever let you in Are you the definition of insanity? Or am I? Oh, it must be nice To love someone who lets you break them twice

Baekhyun continued on singing with the song accompanying his beautiful vocals and you slowed down your movements, too busy listening to Baekhyun’s voice to focus on bleaching his hair. Your heart fluttered every time in your chest whenever Baekhyun sang the chorus and you wanted to record him, record him so you could have him sing to you every time you needed him to, so you could imagine a world in which Baekhyun would sing for you because you were more than just friends.

You thought the song was going to repeat again like Bazzi’s ‘IFLY’ did, but instead Baekhyun peeled his eyes open and unlocked his phone, swiping across the screen and typing something into it. And a second later, Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’ started playing.

Nostalgia hit you an instant and your eyes locked with Baekhyun’s in the mirror as the guitar filled the air around you.

“Oh my God,” you whispered quietly, remembering the many times you had forced Baekhyun to put on the second when it had first been released.

“Baek,” you said as the intro started to come to an end. Baekhyun had the biggest grin on his lips and it was so contagious that you could only grin yourself. Memories flooded you and before you could control yourself the first words slipped off your tongue, your voice filling up your tiny living room.

“We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes, and the flashback starts, I'm standing there,” you started and pointed at Baekhyun at the latter part of the first lyric, eliciting a laugh from Baekhyun.

You were pretty sure that this song would make you just as sad as Bazzi’s ‘IFLY’ and Finneas ‘Break My Heart Again’ if Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’ had such a different meaning to Baekhyun and you. The lyrics didn’t mean anything to you anymore, instead they were just there to be screamed at the top of your lungs, gained their new purpose ever since he and you were young.

Baekhyun started joining you, singing dramatically the lyrics like he was truly feeling all of the emotions, telling his own story.

On a balcony in summer air See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns See you make your way through the crowd And say, "hello" Little did I know

Baekhyun and you kept looking at each other, never breaking eye contact once as the words rolled off your tongues. You forgot about bleaching Baekhyun’s hair and instead started giving your all to sing out the song that was connected with so many memories.

When the song got closer to the chorus, Baekhyun turned to you and just took the mixing bowl out of your hand and put it on the coffee table behind you. You let him and when you realised what Baekhyun was doing, it was already too late.

Baekhyun grabbed you by your hands and started to dance, leading you through your living room as both of you belted out the lyrics. Pure bliss and joy filled up both of you and it was like there was only Baekhyun and you in the world and no one else.

You were jumping around and just singing, enjoying yourselves when the bridge started and Baekhyun let go off your hands to caress your face with the back of his hand.

I got tired of waiting Wondering if you were ever coming around My faith in you was fading When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

You had to try your hardest not to laugh, Baekhyun struggling just as much as the song calmed down and the guitar almost slipped away completely. Both of you looked at each other, grins adorning your lips as you acted sad.

When the melody started to pick up again, ramp up to the last chorus, Baekhyun and you prepared for the finale, both of you stopping for a moment as you waited for your cue.

And said: "Marry me Juliet You'll never have to be alone I love you and that's all I really know I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress It's a love story baby just say 'yes'"

Baekhyun and you were practically screaming at this point and it took the end of the song for both of you to calm down, for you to snap into reality again.

“Your hair, Baek!” you yelled out and grabbed Baekhyun by his hand to practically throw him onto the chair. The bleach was starting to drop down the side of his hair and you quickly picked up the mixing bowl to make sure Baekhyun’s hair wouldn’t turn out completely patchy and ugly.

“It’s just hair, Y/N,” Baekhyun laughed, a grin still very much on his lips.

“You won’t be saying that when it turns out ugly,” you said and Baekhyun laughed again. A new song came on, but you didn’t recognise it.

“That was fun,” Baekhyun said and your eyes wandered to the mirror for a moment. Baekhyun was already looking at you and he was giving you this look, expecting you to agree with him and you couldn’t help yourself but to just do so. A smile split onto your lips and you could see the pride glinting in Baekhyun’s eyes.

“We haven’t listened to that song in such a long time,” you realised, starting to work on the sides of Baekhyun’s hair. The top was done and now it was really just bleaching the sides of his head.

“I know,” Baekhyun grinned, “Why did you think I put it on? Remember how often we used to listen to that song?”

You could only nod at that memory. Of course, you remembered, remembered so clearly because that song encapsulated all you wanted. Your heart yearned for that kind of love, yeared for Baekhyun to love you like that, but you knew just how unrealistic that was now.

“We’re so old now,” you sighed and tilted Baekhyun’s head to the side, “Can you fold your ear really quickly?”

Baekhyun looked somewhat confused before he did as you told him and you applied the bleach on his hair around his hair.

“Yeah, we’re really fucking old now, huh?” Baekhyun said and you could only nod, “But I’m not only talking about our age. In general I just feel so much older now.”

“General I just feel so much older now.”

Baekhyun and you saluted and spoke at the same time, eyes locking with each other before bursting out into laughter. It was an inside joke between him and you to mock salute whenever someone somehow mentioned a military rank.

“Oh, we haven’t done that in a long time,” Baekhyun chuckled and you nodded.

“Why not?” you mused and Baekhyun just shrugged with a grin plastered on his lips.

“I don’t know, we should do it more often,” Baekhyun said and you could only agree, nodding your head before going back to applying the bleach. “But as I was saying, I do feel like we’ve aged a lot more the past years than even before.”

“We’re definitely different now.”

“Better,” Baekhyun corrected you and you raised your brows at him, not sure if you would agree “Well, I’d definitely say that I’m a better person than I used to be.”

You frowned because you couldn’t remember a time where you thought that Baekhyun wasn’t a good person. ”How so?”

Baekhyun grinned at you and pulled the towel tighter around him before answering. “Remember how I used to date all of these girls in middle and high school? I could never say no to them even though I didn’t like any of them.”

You remembered, of course, you remembered, you remembered very clearly and you remembered even more clearly the pain pulling in your chest. Every other month Baekhyun would have a new ‘girlfriend’ or something and it hurt, it hurt because it was never you.

You knew then that he only dated those girls because they asked him out and Baekhyun was just too nice to say no to them, but that didn’t make it any less painful for you to witness it all. It hurt even more to see him share kisses with them in front of you and that it was according to him the only benefit of having a ‘girlfriend’ he actually didn’t like, the fact he got to kiss them.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you said and tapped on Baekhyun’s hand to signal to him that he didn’t need to keep folding his ear over. You moved to the back.

“No, that was truly awful of me,” Baekhyun said and you only hummed, “Why didn’t you tell me? I mean I kissed those girls and really strung them along. God, I was a dick.”

You just shrugged and tucked a strand behind your ear. “Not saying that it was their fault, but it wasn’t really a secret at one point that you would date pretty much any girl because you couldn’t say no. So, I feel like most of them knew what they were getting themselves into.”

Baekhyun scrunched up his face at your words before crossing his arms in front of his chest, obviously not very proud of his younger self.

“Yeah, but I was still the dick,” Baekhyun said and you smiled at his words, eyes meeting Baekhyun’s in the mirror.

“You still are,” you grinned, earning you a gasp from Baekhyun, “I’m not saying I disagree, but I do believe that some of the girls thought that they could change you or something when they asked you out.”

Baekhyun hummed and thought about your words for a second, music switching to another song you, again, didn’t know.

“Yeah, but I do feel like I hurt a lot of people. Unnecessarily,” Baekhyun sighed and you stopped applying the beach on him to look at him.

“No, yeah, you did,” you said and tucked a strand behind your ear, “But I don’t feel like it’s fair that you blame yourself. It’s been, what, six years now? It was literally middle and high school. We all did stupid shit.”

“Okay, true,” Baekhyun sighed and you knew that he still wanted to say something, “But I still remember the way Minji cried when I broke up with her.”

You paused and stayed silent for a few seconds. Of all the girls’ hearts Baekhyun would inevitably break, Minji stood out from all of the girls. Because, for some reason, Baekhyun decided to deliver the bad news right before class and, well, Minji didn’t take it very well. Long story short, Minji started yelling and crying in the middle of the hallway and their breakup was a much discussed topic for the rest of the year. In fact, it was named the ‘Minji Baekhyun Gate’ and everybody knew about it.

“Well, on the flip side no more girls asked you out after her,” you said and Baekhyun frowned a little at your words.

“I guess,” Baekhyun sighed and you continued applying bleach onto his hair before you paused again and looked up to him.

“I wonder what she’s doing now,” you hummed before you worked through Baekhyun’s hair again. If you had looked at him a second longer, you would have seen the blush spread across his cheeks, would have seen the way his eyes grew in size, but you didn’t.

“Actually,” Baekhyun cleared his throat and you raised your brows at him, brush still mid air as your gaze wandered to him, “I actually, uh, ran into her a few days ago.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you blurted out and you couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across your lips, “Did she slap you? Yell at you? Cry?”

“What? No!” Baekhyun shook his head and you shrugged. After all she had done two of the three things you had listed when Baekhyun and she broke up in high school. “She did none of that.”

“Where’d you run into her?” you asked and finished applying the bleach on the back of Baekhyun’s head.

“Coffee shop. I was with Sehun grabbing a cup when she came in, too,” Baekhyun recalled and you nodded.

“What does she do now?” you kept asking, genuinely curious about Minji’s life right now. Sure, it hurt to see Baekhyun with all those girls, but you never blamed them for it. If anything, you admired them for being so brave and confessing their feelings. Something you could never do.

“Oh, she’s a graphic design student or something like that,” Baekhyun said and you nodded, finding it not surprising at all that Minji became a graphic design student. It fit her well.

“That’s cool,” you said and pointed at Baekhyun’s ear with the end of the brush, “Fold.”

Baekhyun folded over his ear and you started applying the bleach. The music was still very much playing, but for the first time, it was quiet, silent between Baekhyun and you.

And it was then that you knew that he was going to say something, that he was thinking about how to word it, that he was struggling to find the right way to say it.

“Spit it out,” you said and Baekhyun looked like a deer caught in headlights when his gaze met yours in the mirror. His cheeks reddened and right away, you knew you weren’t going to like it.

“I may or may not be going on a date with Minji in a couple days.”

Your chest tightened painfully and your throat constricted into a tight knot at Baekhyun’s words. Your heart, for once, didn’t attempt to break out of its cage and instead stepped away from the locks and the door. It fell to the floor and hugged itself as the tears threatened to spill.

You pressed your lips together and swallowed the actual words that wanted to roll off your tongues. Instead you said what you knew was the right thing to say right now, the right thing to say right now as Baekhyun’s friend.

“Tell me you’re not going on a date with Minji because you can’t say no to her. We really don’t need a ‘Minji Baekhyun Gate’ in college, too,” you said and as bad and awful and heartless and selfish as it was, you wanted Baekhyun to tell you just that, tell you that he was going on a date with Minji because he couldn’t say no to her and not because he actually liked her or something.

You prayed to the universe that Baekhyun was only going on a date with Minji because he couldn’t say no because you weren’t sure what you were going to do if he was going on a date because he actually liked her. Baekhyun had never voiced any interest in actual relationships or love or whatever in his life before and it made it easier, easier for you to be fine with just being friends with Baekhyun, but you weren’t sure if this was going to be the case if he started to date, seriously date.

“Actually I asked her out.”

Your heart shattered in your chest and the knot in your throat tightened so much that it was suffocating you and for a moment, you thought you weren’t going to survive the pain tearing through you, but you never fell to the ground. Instead you kept looking at Baekhyun as he eyed you carefully.

“And before you say something about me asking her out too early because I feel guilty, I didn’t. I’ve actually been texting with her for the past week and I think I’m really starting to like Minij.”

The seed of hope that had planted itself into your chest went up in flames and you almost laughed, laughed because, of course, it did. There was no way it could ever grow, grow bigger, grow into an actual flower.

With your best effort you put on a smile, a smile that hid away all the pain and tears and frustration and sadness inside of you right now.

“I’m so happy to hear that, Baek.”

The plan Baekyhun and you had agreed upon to achieve the red he wanted was that you would bleach his hair for a second time a week after and dye it red then the week following. But Baekhyun cancelled a few days after the first time you had bleached his hair.

“Minji wants to watch this film that comes out on that day and I don’t wanna say no.”

You didn’t ask how Baekhyun’s date went, you didn’t hate yourself enough to ask. You couldn’t do that to yourself and you weren’t going to, but when you ran into Baekhyun in between classes, you could see how happy he was. His eyes were sparkling, lit up like a city and you knew why, knew it was because of Minji. It broke you, broke you to see him like that. Because not once had you elicited the same light in his eyes before and the ashes of the seed of hope crumbled further into dust.

[Baekhyun - 14:06] :

does tmr work for you? i cant walk around with a baseball cap for another day

You wanted to text Baekhyun that today would work, that you would do his hair at two in the morning, but you didn’t tell him, didn’t because it was just a little too much.

[You - 14:06] :

yeah, after class?

Baekhyun didn’t answer until the next morning.

“God, you look fucking stupid,” you said when Baekhyun took off the baseball cap. His hair was a disgusting and brassy blonde colour and you pointed at the chair.

“I know. I thought for a while that it was fine, but I just couldn’t keep lying to myself,” Baekhyun laughed and shrugged off his jacket, hanging it up before he let himself fall into your chair.

Baekhyun had left his plastic bag with everything inside at yours the last time and you had already mixed the bleach and put out a towel for Baekhyun.

“Thanks,” Baekhyun said and wrapped said towel around his shoulder. You just smiled at him and put on the gloves before stirring the bleach again as it had thickened a little over the past minutes, but it was still perfectly fine to use.

“You know the only good thing about my hair is that I at least know that Minji isn’t with me for my looks only,” Baekhyun joked and you forced yourself to smile a little bigger.

“Hold,” you said and shoved the mixing bowl into Baekhyun’s hands. The brush fell out of the bowl, but luckily you had put out the papers again and Baekhyun bent down to pick it up again.

“Smart,” Baekhyun said and gestured at the papers and you just silently took the compliment before you started to thread your fingers through Baekhyun’s hair.

“I didn’t really get to look at your finished hair,” you said, recalling how late it had been when Baekhyun and you were finally done with the first round of bleaching, “You literally bolted out before your hair had dried.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Baekhyun grinned and you looked at the small parts that were still black. As handsome and pretty as Baekhyun was, even he looked ridiculous with the black patches in between the brassy blonde.

“Can we get started?” Baekhyun said and your eyes locked with his, not really understanding the hurry, “I promised to go over to Minji’s later. She really wants to see my hair.”

“Oh.”

You nodded and held in the sigh that wanted to escape. Instead, you just grabbed the barrettes you had laid out on the coffee table behind you and started to divide Baekhyun’s hair into four parts.

“Don’t forget the roots at the front,” Baekhyun reminded you and you internally cringed at the black streaks at the front between the blonde strands, “Don’t want you forgetting those again.”

“Yeah, I won’t,” you said and clipped the last barrette into Baekhyun’s hair before turning to the mirror to look. A smile spread across your lips at the sight of it because Baekhyun truly looked adorable with those barrettes in his hair.

“Stop,” Baekhyun simply said and rolled his eyes at you. You just grinned and shrugged before taking the mixing bowl out of his hand and starting to work on his hair. Soon enough Baekhyun put on music and both of you started jamming out again, time flying past in a blink.

“Front, front, front,” Baekhyun said and poked your leg after you had just said you were done. You rolled your eyes and walked around him, scraping the last bits of bleach out of the bowl to apply it to the roots at the front of Baekhyun’s hair again.

“Yeah, I get it,” you exhaled and bent over to carefully apply the bleach.

“Sorry,” Baekhyun smiled and you watched his lips split into a grin, eyes fluttering shut to not get any bleach into his eyes, “I just want it to turn out good.”

“Again, Chaeyoung is probably willing-”

“And again, I only really trust you,” Baekhyun cut in and you pressed your lips into a thin line to hide the smiling pulling on the corners of your mouth. It was stupid, considering that Baekhyun had his eyes closed.

You hummed quietly to the music, applying the leftover bleach onto Baekhyun’s hair. The thought of pressing your lips against Baekhyun’s crossed your mind and you hated yourself for it, hated that you would even go there. But you couldn’t quite help yourself.

Your face was literally centimetres away from Baekhyun’s and you could feel every single one of his breaths fan against your skin, tickle it. Your eyes travelled across Baekhyun’s face and you remembered every mole, every freckle, every scar you would see, making a note to yourself mentally. You wanted nothing more than to press your lips against them, place soft kisses on the curve of his cheek, breathe feathery kisses against each of his eyelids, trail down with your lips to his, connect them with his like you had always dreamt of doing.

But those wishes, thoughts, wants were quickly dismissed, dismissed because Baekhyun and you were just friends and that was fine, that was enough.

And for a moment, you thought everything was peaceful.

“Do you not like Minji?”

Your hand stopped midair as your gaze travelled to Baekhyun and he peeled his eyes open. He looked into your pupils, searching in them desperately for the answer to his question, but he turned up with nothing. Instead, Baekhyun watched you slowly furrow your brows and tilt your head to the side.

A lump grew in your throat and the music faded away, silence growing between Baekhyun and you as he kept staring at you, waiting for an answer to his question. Your back started to ache and you straightened up, not wanting to be so close to Baekhyun anymore. The proximity grew dangerous again.

“Why would you ask that?”

Baekhyun sighed and almost ran his hand through his hair but you quickly stopped him, hand wrapping around his wrist to pull his hand away. He sighed again - to himself though this time - and you just kept looking at him, noting the way Baekhyun’s face etched into ambivalence as your hand slipped from his.

“I- I don’t know,” Baekhyun mused and his eyes landed on the floor, flickering back and forth as the wheels turned in his brain. There were a few seconds of silence until Baekhyun continued again and in those your heart stopped beating.

“You didn’t ask how my date with Minji was.”

You probably would have groaned, rolled your eyes and told Baekhyun he was being incredibly dramatic and stupid right now if there wasn’t some truth to Baekhyun’s words.

“And, I don’t- You just don’t seem very thrilled?” Baekhyun continued, hands tightening into fists, “And like, you don’t have to be much because I’m just dating.”

You wanted to cut in and say that Baekhyun wasn’t ‘just dating’, that it was so much more because if he was truly ‘just dating’, it wouldn’t hurt so much. You wouldn’t be spending your nights crying, wouldn’t be spending your days thinking when Baekhyun would inevitably leave you for Minji.

“But- I just thought you were gonna be more excited and interested because, I don’t know- you usually are for like things about, well, I guess, me. I mean you text me every morning before an exam and after it to ask how it went. I don’t know- you’re just always so invested and it was kinda odd when you didn’t text me when I went on my date with Minji.”

It was sad, sad and laughable and pathetic that Baekhyun was never going to connect the dots, never going to understand why you were so invested in his exams, never going to realise why you didn’t text him on the day of his date with Minji.

“And, of course, you don’t have to do any of these things, but I just asked myself if maybe you didn’t like Minji,” Baekhyun finished and glanced up to you, his eyes big and doe like.

“Baek,” you sighed and shook your head, unsure for a second what to say, “I like Minji.”

“You do?” Baekhyun asked and looked up to you. Your chest tightened and you swallowed the knot in your throat before putting more locks on your heart, scared that you would accidentally tell him how you truly felt about him.

“Yeah, of course,” you continued and let your gaze wander, swallowing before continuing, “How could I not? Minji is incredibly nice,” you busied yourself with the mixing bowl because while you weren’t lying, it hurt to admit all of this, “And talented and pretty and kind. She’s great.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun exhaled and in an instant a grin flashed across his lips, relief washing across his face. When you saw it, you wanted to tell him not to do that, not to grin at you like that because it did things to your heart, things you didn’t want for your heart to do.

“Because,” Baekhyun started and gnawed on his lip, rubbing his hands together as he struggled to finish the sentence. His cheeks reddened and you knew right away his words were only going to hurt more, rip you apart, tear you to shreds.

“Because I really, really like Minji. Like, genuinely. I like her in a way I’ve never liked somebody before.”

Baekhyun glanced up to you and you had to force yourself to keep the eye contact, force yourself not to tear away your gaze. You let a smile spread across your lips, but it didn’t reach your eyes, but Baekhyun didn’t notice, didn’t notice because he was too busy talking about Minji.

You felt like somebody was pushing a knife through your heart, every syllable, every word driving it deeper into it, carving a hole into Baekhyun’s name. It was stupid that it hurt so much, pained you so much because you already knew that, knew that Baekhyun had never liked somebody so much, knew that Baekhyun had never and will never like you so much.

“And I just want you to like her too, because she’s really great and amazing and so incredibly funny and smart at the same time too,” Baekhyun continued and you couldn’t help but note that it only took one date for Baekhyun to be head over heels for Minji. Baekhyun would never talk about you like that, not even after 16 years of friendship.

“Because I really think she and I could be something, you know? And I know it sounds stupid and ridiculous because we’ve only been on one real date. I mean the ones we had when we were teenagers definitely don’t count,” Baekhyun laughed and you could see the city light up in his eyes in a way you wanted them to when he talked about you, when he looked at you, but you knew that was ridiculous, everybody did.

“And I don’t know. I’ve never been interested in relationships and whatnot before, but I do kind of want one now. God, this is cheesy, but I really think that Minji could be it. I mean she’s known me ever since we were young and she has kind of seen me grow up, you know? And she was there for me during high school and I was just a dick then. And she doesn’t care about my looks either because, well, look at my hair right now. I looked fucking stupid on our first date, but she didn’t care. She’s literally the best girl- no person I’ve ever met.”

A part of you wanted to scream at Baekhyun, cry, yell because, fuck, you had done all of that. You had known Baekhyun ever since he was young, had seen him grow up, had been there for him during high school, hell, you had done so much more than Minji had ever done. You had pretended to like his cooking when he first started out, had carried him up ten flights of stairs after he had gotten a little too drunk, had given up your bed for him when he had been too drunk even though your back complained to you for the next week about it, had made him chicken soup when he was sick. And yet, Baekhyun didn’t feel the same way about you, didn’t like you nearly as much as he liked Minji.

It wasn’t fair.

You were the best person Baekhyun had ever met, but he would never realise that, would never because he was too busy calling you his friend.

And your heart felt taunted, laughed at, ridiculed, mocked. It cowered in its cage, begging for it to be let out, but not to tell Baekhyun just how you felt, but to escape the taunt, the laughter, the ridicule, the mockery.

“I really feel like she’s all I’ve been looking and waiting for.”

You turned your back to Baekhyun, unable to blink away the tears any longer that had been threatening to spill any second. They ran down your cheeks, leaving hot scorching trails behind them, marking where they had touched, burned your skin.

Baekhyun usually would have taken notice of your silence, taken notice of body language, but this time he didn’t. A part of you was thankful because you knew you would break, knew you would spill everything that had been weighing on your chest if he asked you what was wrong, but another wanted to scream at Baekhyun. Was this how it was going to be? Was his life just going to be consumed by Minji and no one else? Were you going to be cut out of it?

You pressed your lips together and put down the mixing bowl, ripping the gloves off your hands as you wiped across your cheeks. Baekhyun continued on, continued on talking about Minji and how great she was and you continued listening, but his words stopped registering in your mind. You just needed to protect yourself like that.

You sat down on your couch, elbowls digging into your knees as you kept nodding your head to every single one of Baekhyun’s words. He had turned around, eyes focused behind you as he rambled on, kept on telling you just how fucking amazing Minji was, how she had been the one he had been looking for, that she really showed him how great relationships could be, that she was the one that had him excited for a relationship for the first time. And whilst you listened to every word, listened to Baekhyun’s rambling about Minji, you realised one very important thing.

You could never be Minji.

You could never elicit the same feelings, same thoughts, same urges in Baekhyun Minji could after just one single date. You could never and you will never. If after 16 years of friendship, close friendship, Baekhyun couldn’t see you more than as a friend, then he wasn’t going to start soon.

[You - 01:42] :

i know we said we were gonna do your hair tomorrow, but i really just dont feel well. maybe ask chaeyoung to do it? i know your hair somehow turned out worse and youre bothered by it and i do wanna do your hair but i just dont feel fit for it. im sorry :(

You were watching ‘Community’ once again, sprawled on your couch as you looked for a specific episode. You were in need of a laugh and you knew just what episode to watch, but you were quickly interrupted by your front door unlocking.

For a second, you were just frozen, confused and a second later you sat up and turned your head around. You were about to ask who it was when they announced their entrance themselves.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s me Baek, your best friend,” Baekhyun said and you cursed yourself for giving him a key when you had first moved in. At first, it had seemed smart for him to have a spare key in case you got locked out or something, but now you wanted to turn back time and slap it out of his hands.

“Baek?” you called out and soon enough he turned the corner and you were met with a grinning Baekhyun, baseball cap hiding his truly awful hair. He held up a plastic container and you scrunched up your face, about to ask him what he was doing here when someone else stepped into your view.

“Minij?”

She smiled at you and gave you a wave, the excitement plastered on her face. You barely matched her smile, still too confused about this whole situation. Your eyes kept wandering between Minji and Baekhyun and you wanted to say something, but you couldn’t quite.

“Hey, Y/N,” Minji said and it was odd how little she had changed over the years.

“What’s happening right now?” you ended up just blurting out, still too confused to really wrap your mind around whatever was going on.

“We came over because you said you weren’t feeling well,” Baekhyun explained and walked over to you, placing the plastic container right in front of you on your coffee table, “I made you chicken soup. It’s still warm.”

“Oh,” you said and slowly started to understand the purpose of this visit. You looked at the chicken soup and you could see it still steam inside the plastic container.

“I didn’t expect that,” you cleared your throat, cheeks reddening because, god, you had to look awful, but Baekhyun and Minji thankfully didn’t comment on it. Your eyes slowly travelled back to them and you rubbed your hands together, trying to find something to say. “Uh, you guys want something to drink? I’ve got tea.”

Minji looked over to Baekhyun, obviously also a little flustered about this whole situation. He locked eyes with her, giving her the kind of smile you wished you could receive before turning to you and nodding.

Your heart was literally burying itself into the ground of its cage, attempting so desperately to just escape this, to not have to see this and you wished it was this easy. You wanted for it to be this easy, for you to unsee Minji and Baekhyun together.

“Yeah, tea sounds great,” Baekhyun said, “I’ll help you with the soup.”

It was obvious to all of you that you didn’t need help with the soup, obvious to all of you that you could very much just eat it out of the plastic container, obvious to all of you that Baekhyun only said that to get a chance to talk to you in private and all of you played along.

“Okay, I’ll just be here,” Minji smiled before turning to look at you, asking you for permission and you nodded.

“Yeah, just make yourself feel at home,” you said and put the remote on the coffee table for her, grabbing the plastic container and handing it over to Baekhyun when he walked over as you straightened up, “The bathroom is just down the hall, second door on the left. In case you need it or something.”

You pointed into the hallway, incredibly glad that even if Minji was to go to the bathroom, it would be in the opposite direction of your kitchen. Minji nodded and thanked you before Baekhyun and you headed for your kitchen, acting like you were going to do something in there except talk.

“Are you mad?” Baekhyun asked when he closed the door behind him and you poured water into your water kettle. You turned it on and waited a few seconds, listening to the water start to boil before turning around to face Baekhyun, hands folding over your stomach.

“No,” you said and you honestly weren’t sure if you were lying or not. You were still too confused to figure out. “I wouldn’t say I’m mad, but- I’m definitely not thrilled.”

Baekhyun put down the plastic container on your countertop and rubbed his hands together.

“I thought you liked Minji,” Baekhyun whispered into the silence and you groaned, shaking your head at him.

“Baek, this has nothing to do with whether or not I like Minji or not. For the record, I do,” you started, growing annoyed because, fuck, how could Baekhyun be this inconsiderate at times? “This is about the fact that you just showed up with her without asking me beforehand.”

“But I do that like, all the time. Isn’t that why you gave me a key?” Baekhyun asked and recalled the many times he had paid you a surprise visit. Your arms tightened around your stomach, the water behind you starting to boil, whistle.

“No,” you sighed and licked your lips, “I gave you a key for emergencies and just because you’ve been showing up out of nowhere doesn’t mean I’m fine with it or fine with you just bringing someone along.”

“Okay, but you never said anything before that about that,” Baekhyun argued and you threw your head back, eyes screwing shut as you felt yourself start to get too worked up about this, “And Minji isn’t just ‘someone’. You know her. Don’t act like I picked up a stranger-”

“Baek,” you cut in and turned your head to him, eyes locking with his, “how about you own up to the fact that it’s not okay to just show up at other people’s flat with other people? And, again, this isn’t about Minji. I’d be equally mad if you showed up with Sehun or Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun pressed his lips into a thin line and you could see the frustration build up in his eyes, build up inside him. A part of your heart just wanted to close the distance, pull him into your arms and tell him it was fine, but you shut off that part. This wasn’t okay and you weren’t going to act like it was.

Silence settled and you only turned around when you heard the water kettle switch off behind you. You pulled out three mugs, grabbing a bag of green tea and two bags of chamomile tea. You put both of them respectively into the mugs, pouring the hot water into them until it reached the brim of the mugs.

You could hear Baekhyun shuffle behind you and soon enough he was standing next to you, leaned against the countertop as he watched you stare at the tea bags. You knew he was waiting for you to look at him, face him, but you didn’t feel like it.

Baekhyun sighed softly next to you before reaching over to tuck a strand behind your ear, fingers lingering behind your ear and you wanted to swat away his hand. It was laughable, pathetic how that simple gesture had your heart looking up, skipping and jumping around in its cage when it should stay beaten down, on the floor, there where it belonged.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun started and his voice was a quiet whisper, barely loud enough to reach your ears, “You’re right, of course, you’re right.”

You just let out a small breath, letting Baekhyun continue without interruption.

“I didn’t plan this or something. I just let it slip that I was gonna drop by at yours and Minji had seemed so excited to see you again,” Baekhyun continued, fingers skimming the top of your ear, “And she also told me in secret that she always admired you, thought you were cool or something. So I suggested that she come with me.”

Your gaze travelled to him and any frustration had dissipated the second Baekhyun had apologised. You weren’t surprised, you could never be mad at him for long.

You turned to him, hand wrapping around his wrist to remove his hand from your ear, scared that your heart might just combust if you let his fingertips linger a little longer, scared that Minji might walk in and get the wrong impression.

“It’s fine, I get it,” you hummed softly, shuffling a little away from Baekhyun, needing distance to breathe, “Just don’t bring someone over like that again. Check with me first.”

Baekhyun nodded and a smile started pulling on the corners of his lips, eliciting a smile from you. Both of you just did that for a while, smiled at each other and it was all fine for a moment before you remembered something, remembered Minji sitting in your living room.

“You also shouldn’t touch me like that anymore,” you started, voice wavering a little and gestured around when Baekhyun knitted his brows together, “You know tuck my hair away or something like that. You wouldn’t want Minji to get the wrong impression, right?”

Baekhyun pressed his lips together before he nodded, seeming to understand what you were trying to say. You could see in his eyes that he wanted to protest, probably argue that you two were just friends and that Minji understood and whatnot and you were incredibly thankful he didn’t. You couldn’t stand listening to Baekhyun just call you a friend and nothing more any longer.

“So, you said you weren’t feeling well?” Baekhyun started and you just rolled your eyes, completely forgetting before that you had to act sick or something.

“Yeah,” you lied through your teeth and Baekhyun laughed at your simple answer before shaking his head at you.

“Lying is bad,” Baekhyun said and you just tsked him, turning your head away from him to stare at your wall like you had never seen it before.

“I didn’t feel great this morning,” you said and cringed a little because even you barely sounded convinced, but it wasn’t like you were trying very hard if at all.

“But now that I’m here, you’re all better, huh? I’m all the medicine you need, right?” Baekhyun grinned and stepped into your view. His hand brushed against your arm instinctively and goosebumps travelled down your skin.

Baekhyun had this smirk on his face and you knew he wanted to tease, challenge you a little and you wanted to play along so badly, but you couldn’t. Unlike Baekhyun you were very much aware now that he was dating and that such behaviour between a girl and a guy never sat well with the other person. You weren’t going to risk Minji and Baekhyun breaking up just because he was a little too dumb to get it.

“Anyway, I’m gonna take these with me and you can-” you stopped to grab the plastic container and shove it into Baekhyun’s hands, “do something with this.”

Baekhyun was about to get another word out, but you quickly grabbed the mug of green tea and the mug of chamomile tea. You made your way out of your kitchen and into your living room, leaving the other mug of chamomile tea for Baekhyun.

“Hey,” Minji greeted you when you turned the corner and put away her phone. For the first time, you could mirror the smile on her lips and you handed her her green tea.

“Hi, is green tea fine or do you prefer chamomile or something else?” you asked, remembering just then that you had just thrown in tea bags without asking what Minji wanted.

“Oh, green tea is just fine. Thank you,” Minji smiled and you sat down next to her, your mug landing on your coffee table. Your eyes wandered up and down her form for the first time properly.

Her hair was now cut in a stylish bob and it was insane how well it suited her. There was still something very youthful about her and you were glad to see that she didn’t lose that spark, that fire burning in her pupils. Her lips were glossy with chapstick and a perfect winged eyeliner adorned her eyes.

Minji hadn’t changed much, hadn’t changed much appearance wise, hadn’t changed much voice wise, hadn’t changed much personality wise and you were happy, happy because you had always liked her. You hadn’t been lying to Baekhyun when you had said all those nice things about her.

Minji was truly an angel, considerate, kind, nice, perfect.

“Uh, can I hug you?” Minji asked and put down her mug of green tea, next to yours, turning fully to you. Her cheeks turned rosy and you were a little taken aback by her question. Minji and you became friends when she dated Baekhyun, but the second they broke up, you two were back to being classmates.

“It’s just been such a long time, but if you don’t want to it’s completely fine and I mean you’re also sick. Not like I mind, but if you-”

Your arms wrapped around Minji’s shoulder and she immediately reciprocated your hug, hands settling on your shoulder blades like yours had.

“It’s so nice to see you again, Minji,” you said when you two pulled away. You were seated a lot closer to her now and both of you smiled at the other, obviously genuinely happy to see the other. “I’m sorry if I was a little cold just-”

“No, please don’t apologise,” Minji quickly cut in and shook her head at you, “If anything I should apologise. Baekhyun had just said that it would be fine and I mean I did want to see you again.”

Minji’s cheeks reddened even more at her confession and you could just chuckle, feeling this urge in your chest to wrap your arms around her and never let her go. She had always been so cute and sweet.

“Well, I’m very happy you’re here,” you said and Minji’s whole face turned red at your words, eliciting only a chuckle from you. It was now that you realised, realised why Baekhyun liked Minji so much. She was truly deserving of everything and you didn’t blame him for starting to like Minji.

It still hurt, there was no denying in it and there was definitely still a part of you that was bitter and angry and frustrated about the fact that Baekhyun liked Minji and not you, but it had gotten a little smaller and was securely hidden away now.

“Can I just say how amazing and great I think it is that Baek and you are still friends?” Minji said and you reached for your mug, gaze turning to her before you blew over the surface of your tea.

“I guess thanks?” you laughed, a little unsure how to respond. You had to be honest, you didn’t think it was an amazing feat, after all Baekhyun and you had been friends with each other for the past 16 years.

“No, I mean most people grow apart, but you guys have always stayed strong,” Minji explained, eyes glazing over as she started to recall high school, “I always admired you guys. I’ve always wanted such a strong bond and friendship. It was- sorry, is truly amazing.”

“I guess it’s childhood friends for a reason, right?” you mused, taking a sip from your tea.

“Yeah, but I remember girls being so freaking jealous of you,” Minji continued and your eyes grew a little bigger at her words. That was news to you.

“Were you?” you asked carefully and raised a brow at Minji. You weren’t sure what answer you were hoping for and what you were expecting, but you were curious.

Minji’s eyes jumped to yours and she smiled at you before shaking her head and you knew she meant it.

“No, at least not in the way the others were,” Minji said and you nodded, a little sad that you couldn’t elicit the same jealousy in her like she could in you.

“I was definitely jealous of your friendship, but never the way the others were.” Minji shrugged and you took another sip from your tea and this time the liquid burned on its way down, but you didn’t flinch.

“I just hate the cliche of the girlfriend hating and being jealous of their boyfriend’s female friend. It’s just so stupid,” Minji continued and you hummed, agreeing that the cliche should die in TV and films, “Jealousy is just so spiteful.”

You thought about Minji’s words for a few seconds before letting out an unsure noise. Minji leaned forward, genuinely curious about your thoughts.

“You don’t think?”

You shook your head and put down your tea, scared you would spill some of it on you if you had it in your hand any longer.

“I don’t feel like jealousy is inherently spiteful. Sure, there is definitely this ugly kind of jealousy. You know the kind we see on TV and whatnot, but I also feel like there’s a different kind. The kind that, I don’t know, shows you care. The kind you don’t really want to feel because jealousy isn’t the nicest feeling, but you can’t help yourself but to feel just that, feel just jealous.”

You sounded unsure, uncertain, confused and you were about to dismiss all of your words, tell Minji how they didn’t make any sense whatsoever when she cut in.

“I really didn’t think about it this way,” Minji started, humming lowly as she brood over your words for another second, “But I think you’re right.”

“Wow, philosophical much?”

You turned your head around to see Baekhyun standing in the doorway with a bowl of chicken soup in his one hand and mug in his other. He smiled at both of you before walking over to you, putting the bowl right in front of you. You looked into it and you were about to thank him when you watched Baekhyun walk around your coffee table to sit down next to Minji, but not without pressing a kiss against her temple.

You ignored your heart, refusing to acknowledge it in its cage and instead started to take a sip from the chicken soup Baekhyun had made for you.

“Thanks,” you smiled and Baekhyun nodded, grinning at Minji and you.

“We weren’t being philosophical,” Minji laughed and softly ran her fingers across Baekhyun’s jaw, “We were just talking a little bit.”

You hummed in agreement, but you had this feeling the noise got lost and didn't meet Baekhyun’s ears. He put down his mug and wrapped an arm around Minji’s waist. She leaned into him and you felt your heart tighten and ache, but you shut it up, refusing to pay it any attention.

“Sure, but like deep talking, right?” Baekhyun said and looked at you for confirmation, but his gaze didn’t linger long enough on you. Instead, it wandered to Minji and stayed there and you could feel your chest tighten painfully.

“We weren’t talking about anything major or worth nothing.”

Your hand twitched next to you and almost instinctively you wanted to do your mock salute, repeat Minji’s words after ‘major’, but you halted. Your gaze shot to Baekhyun, but it was either because he didn’t notice it or because he was staring too deeply into Minji’s eyes because he didn’t even react. His hand didn’t flinch and the words didn’t even start to slip out.

“I’m sure it was interesting,” Baekhyun hummed and pressed another kiss against Minji’s temple. Your grip around your spoon tightened and your jaw locked up at the sight of it all. You kept your head low, gaze downcasted as you swallowed the chicken soup, every sip edging you closer to throw up.

“It really wasn’t,” Minji giggled and placed her hand on Baekhyun’s knee. You wanted nothing more than to yell, jump up and lock yourself into your bathroom, but you feared neither would notice and you didn’t want to have your fear confirmed.

Baekhyun grinned at Minji, arms tightening around her waist and you just shuffled away, inching closer to the edge of your couch.

“Well, I still think it was. You are so smart you can only talk about deep stuff,” Baekhyun said and you wished you could shut off your brain, wished you couldn’t see their every movement even though your head was literally inside the bowl already.

“You’re literally so smart, babe.”

You thought your heart was going to pierce through your chest and throw itself out of your window when you heard the pet name. Your skin started crawling and your grip around your spoon tightened so much that your knuckles turned white, turned white so much they almost teared through your skin. A lump lodged itself into your throat and you thought you were going to choke on the chicken soup.

“Oh, Baek.”

Minji giggled in a way you could never, in a way that it sounded pleasant, soothing. Her giggle was heartfluttering and you didn’t fault Baekhyun for liking her so fucking much because there was truly nothing about her that you could ever dislike, not even if you tried your hardest to find something.

And that fact made it just so much more difficult, so much more difficult for you to smile, laugh, nod, agree, talk, act fine, act fine when you were dying inside, when your heart was digging its one grave to rest, sleep in.

It was then that you realised it, realised that you needed distance, realised that you needed distance to heal, realised that you needed distance to move on, realised that you needed distance from Baekhyun.

[Baekhyun - 20:42] :

for clarification, can i still pay you surprise visits?

You didn’t respond and Baekhyun didn’t notice.

“I can’t do your hair this weekend. I’ve gotta study.”

“I’m sorry, I promised Sooyoung I’d go shopping with her.”

“Sorry, I just saw your message. Let’s take a rain check on your hair, yeah?”

“I’ve been very busy this week and I wanted to take the weekend just for myself to relax a little.”

You thought it was going to get easier, easier to type out the messages, easier to lie to Baekhyun, easier to avoid Baekhyun, but you could feel your heart die a little inside you with every message, could feel your chest tighten painfully with every lie, could feel yourself missing Baekhyun more and more with every day you spent without hanging out with him, talking, texting or simply seeing him.

Every time you saw him on campus, you made sure to run into the opposite direction and for once, you were thankful that your campus was as big as it was. Avoiding Baekhyun was also a lot easier because you knew his routine, knew his schedule, knew his way to class.

In the 16 years of friendship he and you had never spent more than three days without contact with each other. He and you had been attached to the hip ever since you had met Baekhyun and both of you had fallen into a routine of being with each other every day ever since. He and you even talked when Baekhyun had been on the other side of the globe when his family went on holiday. The time difference didn’t stop either of you from talking, from calling the other, from texting.

So every morning you woke up wanting to grab your phone and call him up, wanting to jump out of your bed and bang on his front door, wanting to wrap your arms around him and tell him you were sorry for avoiding him, but every morning you stopped yourself, controlled yourself, but you could feel yourself slip more and more with each day without Baekhyun.

You went to sleep earlier in an attempt to forget for a little and today was no exception. Surprisingly, it was easy for you to fall asleep, easy for you to sleep through the night, but this time you couldn’t.

“What the fuck?”

You jerked up and you hit your head on the back of your bed, hands gripping around your blanket when you had felt a hand on your shoulder, ripping you out of your sleep. It took your eyes a few seconds to adjust to the darkness, to realise just who had touched you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Baekhyun whispered even though you weren’t sleeping anymore. He held up his hands and had taken a step back, scared you were going to punch him or something when you had suddenly woken up.

“What the fuck, Baekhyun?” you yelled and took one of your pillows to hurl it at him. He caught it and held it in front of him, for protection.

“I’m so so sorry, Y/N-”

“What the fuck are you doing in my bedroom?” you said and turned to your clock to check the time, “It’s fucking one in the morning. What are you doing here?”

You hadn’t thought that was how your first time seeing Baekhyun in a month was going to go and for a moment, you had completely forgotten that things were awkward between him and you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Baekhyun apologised for the third time now and slowly inched forward. You let out long breaths, your heart still pounding in your chest and for the first time, it wasn’t because Baekhyun had smiled at you.

“What are you doing here?” you hissed, but nevertheless moved away to give Baekhyun some space to sit down, “I thought I told you it wasn’t cool to just show up unannounced.”

“No, yeah, I know,” Baekhyun started and sat down on the edge of your bed, your mattress dipping underneath his weight, your pillow landing in Baekhyun’s lap, “And I’ve been trying not to come, but-”

Baekhyun stopped and you could hear the quiver in his voice. He let his head drop and it clicked in your mind that something was wrong, clicked in your mind that something had happened. And you softened, softened immediately.

You could see Baekhyun swallow heavily in the darkness and you placed your hand on his, scowl melting away to allow for worry to etch into your features.

“What happened?” you asked softly and it was like your question had turned a switch in Baekhyun’s head because the tears spilled, the sobs teared through his throat. Baekhyun broke down in front of you and you were quick to wrap your arms around him, pull him close to you.

“It’s fine,” you whispered into Baekhyun’s ear as the tears continued to spill from his eyes, as the sobs continued to rip through his chest, leaving him empty and heaving for air, “I’m here. It’s fine. Just let it out, it’s okay.”

Baekhyun’s hands grabbed your T-shirt, gripping it so tightly that you knew the knit was never going to straighten out of it, but you let him, let him hold onto you like his life depended on it. You didn’t care that his tears stained your shirt, didn’t care that you spent the hour just holding Baekhyun close to you.

Baekhyun and you had moved further into your bed at one point and he was now laying in your lap, arms wrapped around your pillow, knees drawn to his chest as you continued to whisper assuring words into his ear, continued to wipe away the tears whenever they dared to spill from his eyes, continued to comb your fingers through his hair.

The silence between you two was never interrupted during the hour safe for your words and Baekhyun’s sobs and hiccups, but he never spoke a single word. You wanted to know what had happened and you knew it was Minji, but you didn’t ask, didn’t push Baekhyun to speak and tell you because you knew he wasn’t ready. And if he never was going to be, you were fine with that too.

So you were surprised when Baekhyun decided to speak up after an hour of crying.

“It’s not easy.”

The words came out broken through Baekhyun’s lips and you stopped for just a moment to comb through his hair before continuing again. You watched Baekhyun swallow heavily, struggling to find the words to capture the emotions and sadness ripping through his entire body.

“It’s not easy with Minji,” Baekhyun said and you wiped away the tears, “I talk to her and we can talk, but we don’t- we don’t really talk. We just say stuff to each other, but it never- It just doesn’t feel quite-”

Baekhyun shook his head and you just let out a low hum, wanting to show him you were listening, but not wanting to interrupt him in any way. It took Baekhyun minutes to speak up again and you didn’t mind.

“It just doesn’t feel quite right, natural,” Baekhyun sobbed and you knew these thoughts had been on his mind for a long time now, laying and weighing down on his chest, “easy.”

“You talked to her about it?”

When Baekhyun peered at you, strands sticking to his forehead and eyes red from all of the crying, you knew the answer, knew he hadn’t. It was Baekhyun after all.

“You should,” you whispered, heart breaking to see Baekhyun like that. You wanted to give him everything, wanted to fix it for him, wanted to heal him, but you knew there was nothing you could do. Baekhyun had to do it himself and he knew that.

A part of you blamed yourself for all of this, blamed yourself for Baekhyun’s state right now. You cursed yourself for not being there for him during this month, cursed yourself for not being there when things started to crumble, cursed yourself for not being there to pick up the pieces and you would turn back time if you could. You would stay by Baekhyun’s side even if that meant listening to him gush about Minji on and on, even if that meant seeing him press kisses against her lips, her temple, her nose, her forehead, even if that meant hearing him call her ‘babe’ as long as it meant that you would catch Baekhyun before the fall.

“I don’t know how,” Baekhyun cried and his face contorted into pain and sadness. You could feel your own tears brim your eyes and you squeezed your lips shut, head turning away to silently drag your hand underneath your eyes.

“Why isn’t it easy, Y/N?” Baekhyun asked you and you wanted to have the answer, but you didn’t know.

“I thought Minji was it, thought Minji and I could be something,” Baekhyun continued and you could feel new tears forming again. You could barely swipe away Baekhyun’s before new ones spilled, not to mention wipe away your own. So you let yours spill, let yours tears just fall, run down your cheek, burn your skin.

“I just want to love someone, Y/N.”

Your teeth sank into your bottom lip and you wanted to tell Baekhyun to love you, to choose you, but you swallowed the words and locked them away like you had done with your own feelings, your own heart.

“Why can’t I find someone to love, Y/N?”

Your vision continued to blur and you hugged Baekhyun tighter to you, wanting so desperately for him to feel all the love you were giving him.

“Why can’t I find someone to love me, Y/N?”

You shook your head, begging silently for Baekhyun to stop asking you because you did, you fucking did. You loved Baekhyun as much as the stars loved the moon, as much as Romeo loved Julia, as much as the Earth loved the Sun.

But it wasn’t enough.

It wasn’t enough for Baekhyun to notice and you wanted to give him more, bleed him more, but you were at your wits’ end. You didn’t have anything more inside you, anything more to offer and you wished you did.

“I’m sorry, Baek.”

“Thank you.”

Your eyes travelled to the mirror and locked with Baekhyun’s in it. You stopped applying the bleach and tilted your head to the side.

“For what?”

You stopped avoiding Baekhyun after that night and just two days later he and you were sitting in your flat again. You were bleaching his hair for a third time because the second time had somehow turned out more patchy and since it would only translate patchy if you slapped the red on, Baekhyun and you decided to bleach his hair for a third time. Hopefully the last time.

Baekhyun smiled at you and you started brushing the bleach alongside the back of Baekhyun’s head again.

“For everything.”

You just looked at Baekhyun and gave him a simple nod, both of you communicating by just looking at each other. It was enough for you both, all you needed.

Baekhyun had ended up staying the night the other day and you hadn’t minded at all. In the morning, it had been admittedly awkward and weird, but luckily both of you had classes to attend. During the day you had arranged lunch with him and it had been quietly established during it that you two would just ignore and not talk about what had happened.

“Anyway, Sooyoung just noped out of there and went home,” you finished telling your story and Baekhyun laughed along, grins adorning your lips, “But, again, don’t ask her about it. She’s gonna fucking kill me.”

“Yeah, I got it.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes at your hundredth reminder not to talk to Sooyoung about her recent date and you just shrugged. Baekhyun folded his ear over when you got to it and you carefully applied the bleach around it.

You were so busy focusing on applying the bleach that you couldn’t bring yourself to tell another story. And for the first minute, you didn’t even notice the silence lingering between you two, the music playing quietly serving as enough background noise for you.

You moved to Baekhyun’s front, leaning down to make sure you had evenly applied the bleach to his root. And it was then that he decided to speak up, when there was no escaping him because he was directly staring into your eyes and you were directly staring into his eyes.

“Why did you avoid me?”

You froze and your eyes travelled to Baekhyun’s, locking with them in an instant. Your heart started hiding in its cage and you wished you could too.

Baekhyun’s gaze was unwavering and you swallowed, not sure what to say. Your throat felt dry, scratchy and the lump lodged inside of it certainly didn’t make it easier for you.

“And please don’t say you weren’t because we both know it’s a lie,” Baekhyun said quietly and you wanted to give in, let out the truth, but you knew you couldn’t, “Please, don’t lie to me.”

You really wanted not to lie to him because it hurt you just as much as it hurt him when you lied to him. No, in fact, it hurt you even more than it hurt him when you lied to him. Every time you had to, had to think of some bullshit excuse and present it to him, you felt like dying, felt like your heart was withering, rotting away in its cage.

“It was just,” you started, shrugging and right away Baekhyun and you knew you were lying, “It was just not a good month.”

You thought Baekhyun was going to call you out on it, demand for the truth because he had just asked for it, but instead he looked at you and nodded. His lips were pressed into a thin line like he was holding back so many words and you hoped, prayed they would stay sealed shut.

“Okay.”

And that was it. You finished applying the rest of the bleach and Baekhyun thanked you with a smile, a smile that almost reached his eyes and you assured him there was no need to thank you with a smile too, a smile that also almost reached your eyes.

“Tea?” you turned to Baekhyun after he had just finished setting the timer for his hair to process. He looked up from his phone and nodded.

You moved into your kitchen, pouring the water into your water kettle and turning it on before opening the cabinet to your mugs. You almost missed Baekhyun’s steps, the water starting to boil and whistle so loud that the noise was almost drowned out.

I think you're gonna change my plans With those emerald eyes But you don't even understand How much they're on my mind

‘Claudia’ by Finneas started playing throughout your flat and you turned around. Baekhyun approached you with a smile on his lips and this time it was genuine. His hands reached for yours and before you knew it, he was twirling you in your own kitchen.

Baekhyun started singing almost in an instant and you could only smile, could only enjoy his singing. He and you started dancing, but he led, holding your hands and encouraging you to do various spins.

You spun into Baekhyun’s chest and almost lost your balance, but Baekhyun was there to hold you, steady you at your waist, fingers digging into your skin as he sung the chorus.

Oh, I'm in trouble now Come kiss me black and blue Might last another round But I'm bound to fall for you

Your eyes locked with Baekhyun’s and your lungs were left aching for air, oxygen because staring into Baekhyun’s eyes stole your breath away. The words slipped off Baekhyun’s lips with such ease and grace that your heart almost believed them, that your heart started rattling its cage, but you quickly realised it was a song and this meant nothing to Baekhyun.

You turned on your heel, spinning out of Baekhyun’s arms. For a moment, you thought Baekhyun looked sad, but then he continued singing and you joined him. Your heart, however, wasn’t in it as much as it was before, the possibility that Baekhyun maybe meant his words haunting you and taking up too much space in your mind.

We're undercover now I don't know what you do Just know I love it now I'm bound to fall for you

You were making yourself dinner when you heard your front door unlock, but unlike before you didn’t whip your head around and ask who it was. You knew who it was because it could only be him.

Baekhyun had started to come over to your place more often than not, started to abuse the power of the key you had given to him and you stopped minding, stopped minding after he had come to you that night and cried into your chest.

“What’s up?” you asked and turned around when Baekhyun entered your kitchen, turning off your stove because you had just finished your chicken. Baekhyun raised a take out plastic bag into your view and you let out a sigh.

“You already made dinner, huh?” Baekhyun hummed and you could only nod, “Fuck, I wanted to surprise you with Chinese.”

“But you know I always make dinner at 7,” you said and Baekhyun placed the bag on your counter, unpacking all of the food he had bought. You helped him.

“Yeah, I know,” Baekhyun sighed and ran a hand through his beautiful blond hair. It had reached a point where it was truly beautiful, the brassy tone was now completely gone and every strand matched with each other. You had to say, you were proud of what you had done.

“I just thought that maybe today was gonna be different,” Baekhyun sighed, shrugging before bunching up the plastic bag and throwing it to the side, “What now?”

You hummed and looked at your dinner before turning back to the take out food. “I guess I’ve already made my dinner for tomorrow.”

Baekhyun grinned at you and you just mirrored it, heart fluttering in your chest because of how happy he looked. Your chicken and rice and broccoli was quickly wrapped up in tupperware and soon enough Baekhyun and you were sitting in front of your TV, enjoying Chinese together as you watched ‘Community’.

Both of you were just eating and focusing on the TV when Baekhyun turned his head to you, similarly how he had when he told you that he wanted to dye his hair.

“I’m going to Minji’s later.”

Your eyes travelled to Baekhyun and your spring roll landed back on your plate. You stared at Baekhyun, trying to see how he was feeling, but you couldn’t quite read him. His eyes were almost void of emotion and you really didn’t know what he wanted you to say.

Baekhyun and you continued to date and if you weren’t completely wrong, they had been for a little over two months now. Two weeks had passed since Baekhyun had come over to you, crying his eyes out because things weren’t working the way he wanted them to between Minji and him.

And you knew for a fact that he hadn’t talked to her about his worries, knew for a fact that he hadn’t because Baekhyun could never. Baekhyun also stopped mentioning her in front of you, probably in fear that you would urge him to talk to her. You wouldn’t, but you were fine with him not talking to you about her.

“Okay,” you said and waited a moment, still unsure what to say, “You can do it.”

“Yeah, no, I know I can,” Baekhyun said and put down his plate, hands rubbing over the top of his legs. You paused the TV and waited quietly for Baekhyun to continue.

“I mean I’ve still been seeing her,” Baekhyun said and his gaze landed on his hands. His voice was shaky, breathy and it was like he just didn’t know what to say, like he just didn’t know what he wanted to say.

“But?” you quickly asked when Baekhyun stayed silent a little too long.

Baekhyun shuffled and folded his hands together. For a moment, it looked like he was going to say something, but then he shook his head and closed his mouth again.

“No, nothing,” Baekhyun breathed out, picking up his chopsticks again, “Just eat. It’s fine.”

You knew for a fact it wasn’t, wasn’t just fine, but you didn’t push it, knowing all too well that if Baekhyun didn’t want to talk about it ,he wasn’t going to.

You shrugged and turned on the TV again, picking up your plate like Baekhyun had.

“Okay.”

You were, once again, sleeping when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“What?”

You jerked up again and it took your eyes to get used to the darkness. Everything felt very similar and you knew it was because Baekhyun had done this just two weeks ago, woken you up in the middle of the night.

Your heart was beating out of your chest and you ran a hand through your hair, still too sleepy to properly process what was happening.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Baekhyun said and you looked at him, blinking a few times.

“Are you okay, Baek? Is everything fine?” you asked and were up on your knees in an instant. Your hands landed on Baekhyun’s shoulders, ready to pull him close to your chest if he broke down again, but this time there was a small smile spread across his lips.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Baekhyun assured you and slowly your hands slipped down his arms. You sat down again and your fingers lightly laced with Baekhyun’s.

“What’s up then?” you asked and the sleep was evident in your voice. Baekhyun’s smile grew into a grin, a grin you didn’t quite like because it was different. You squinted your eyes and Baekhyun settled on the edge of your bed, hands intertwining with yours as he squeezed your hands lightly.

“Will you dye my hair black?”

There was a beat of silence, a beat of silence because it took you that long to realise what Baekhyun had just asked you to do.

“What?” you spat out, annoyance and frustration growing in your voice. Baekhyun held onto you a little tighter like he was scared you would push him out of your bed and tell him to fuck off. His grin grew bigger and you hated it.

“I’m sorry, but can you please?” Baekhyun pleaded and you wanted to shove him out of your bed, but he held onto your hands a little too tight.

“Now?” you asked, turning to look at your clock, “It’s fucking two in the morning, Baek. You are kidding me, aren’t you?”

Baekhyun continued grinning at you and you groaned, throwing your head in your neck.

“I thought you were trying to not come to my flat unannounced,” you said, recalling how the last time Baekhyun had said he had been trying to not pay you surprise visits anymore.

“Oh, please, you love it when I come over,” Baekhyun laughed quietly, “If I don’t, you’d miss me too much.”

Baekhyun was right. You did kind of start to love it whenever he would come around and you would definitely miss him a little too much if he didn’t come over, but you wouldn’t admit that.

“I thought you were going to Minji’s or something. What’re you doing here?” you whined, craving the sweet sleep you had just been in.

Baekhyun let go off your hand and tipped your head back, fingers brushing a strand behind your ear and lingering on your ear again.

“I was at Minji’s.”

You furrowed your brows and rubbed your eyes, not quite understanding what ghost had possessed Baekhyun and prompted him to come over and ask you to dye his hair fucking black. Your brain was still half asleep and you were definitely not ready to have this conversation.

“We broke up.”

Now, you were wide awake. Your gaze shot to Baekhyun’s and you stared at him in the darkness, waiting for him to break out in tears or tell you he was joking or something, but he just continued to look at you with this smile on your face, this peaceful smile.

“Before you ask, I’m fine,” Baekhyun whispered quietly and his fingers wandered down the length of your hair, wrapping said strand around his finger as he continued to speak, “I broke it off and Minji was really understanding.”

You just stared at him, still too shocked to say something.

“And now, I really want black hair.”

You pressed your lips together and you weren’t sure if you believed him, believed Baekhyun that he was fine. It was then that it clicked in your mind that this was what Baekhyun had wanted to talk to you about when you were eating, that he had been trying to tell you he was going to break up with Minji.

“You’ve got dye?”

Baekhyun grinned at you and, of course, he nodded at you. He pulled you out of bed and when you walked into your living room, you were surprised to see that he had already set everything up. Baekhyun had somehow managed to lay out the papers, open all of the windows and prepare the dye in the mixing bowl without you hearing a single sound.

“What would you have done if I had said no?” you asked, putting on the gloves that were next to the mixing bowl. Baekhyun wrapped the towel around his shoulder and smirked at you.

“You wouldn’t have.”

And you really wouldn't have.

“How could you be so sure?” you laughed and Baekhyun’s smirk grew a little bigger when you handed him the mixing bowl to divide his hair.

“Because you love me.”

Your heart froze in its cage and panic almost flushed through your whole system, but you were quick to get it together. Your eyes wandered to Baekhyun and you knew right away that he didn’t mean it the way you first thought he did.

“Whatever,” you exhaled, voice slightly pitchy as you clipped in the barrettes. Baekhyun just chuckled, shrugging to himself before putting on music.

And both of you did that for a while. You dyed Baekhyun’s hair at two in the morning and Baekhyun just sang along to the music every now and then.

“Why black so suddenly?” you said and took up some of the black dye on your brush. Baekhyun hummed and scratched his arm. “I thought you really wanted red.”

“Yeah, I thought so too,” Baekhyun hummed, “But I just realised that sometimes that you truly don’t want something, you just think you do.”

You paused for just a second before you just ignored Baekhyun’s words and continued. But this time, Baekhyun didn’t feel like ignoring things, he felt like talking, opening up, being brave.

“She was really understanding, Y/N,” Baekhyun said and you knew who he was talking about. You moved in front of Baekhyun and just let him continue as you dyed his roots at the front. “I told her how I’ve been feeling and she understood, said she could feel that something wasn’t quite right.”

“Well, I’m happy that it wasn’t another ‘Minji Baekhyun Gate’ this time,” you grinned, recalling the memory of their breakup in high school. Baekhyun, however, didn’t laugh at your words and just fixed you with a stare, a very intense gaze.

You could feel the tension thicken between you two and you stopped applying the dye, brush landing in your mixing bowl.

“You know I thought about Minji and me a lot the past weeks and I asked myself over and over again what was wrong, why we just didn’t feel quite right,” Baekhyun said and you held in your breath, eyes glued to Baekhyun’s.

“I really wanted for Minji and me to work, but it didn’t and I was really upset and sad about it,” Baehyun continued and you didn’t know what he was trying to tell you, “But then I realised that there was no reason to. Sometimes things just don’t work out.”

“And Minji agreed with me, told me that she had learned after our first breakup that it’s stupid and useless to force a connection, a bond when there wasn’t one. In fact, she joked that maybe that was why she and I got together again. So, I could learn what she had learned after our initial breakup.”

Baekhyun stopped for a few seconds like he was thinking about how to word the next things and you could only continue to stare at him and let him talk

“And, you know what? Minji is right. I’ve been looking for someone to love and when I stumbled across her again, I just thought that was the universe’s way of telling me that Minji is the one I’ve been looking for, but, well, she isn’t.”

Baekhyun stopped again, taking a longer pause this time. He drew in a very long breath, eyes glancing up into yours and you could feel your heart stop when he did.

“You are, Y/N.”

You thought your brain was playing tricks on you, that you had misheard, but Baekhyun continued and quenched all of your doubts.

“I’ve been blind this whole time, Y/N, and I’m sorry that I’ve been,” Baekhyun whispered and his hand laced with yours, “I wanted to find someone to love and someone to love me and I feel so stupid because you’ve been there all this time. You’ve been by my side, seen my worst and you are still with me, tolerate me even though-”

You pressed your lips against Baekhyun’s and it took Baekhyun a second to realise what had happened, but quickly his hands found your waist and he pressed you flush against his chest. Baekhyun straightened up, pulling you closer to him as he continued moving his lips against yours.

The mixing bowl fell out of your hand without you thinking about it as you cupped Baekhyun’s face, but when it landed at your feet and the dye splashed up your legs, you had to pull away.

“Fuck,” you laughed, bliss still filling up your chest as you looked down. The dye had landed all over your floor, but luckily it wasn’t much. However, you were still scared that the black was going to stick.

“Yeah, fuck, big time,” Baekhyun said and you looked at him. You almost bursted out into laughter again when you saw him. Black dye stained his cheeks and it was then that you remembered that you had cupped Baekhyun’s face with your gloves on.

“I’m so sorry, Baek,” you said and quickly took off your gloves, letting them fall to the floor as you started to attempt to rub away the dye. Baekhyun just laughed and took a hold of your hands, shaking his head.

“It’s fine,” Baekhyun said and you shook your head at him this time.

“No, we gotta wash it out,” you said and Baekhyun just grinned at you. You turned on your heel, wanting to lead Baekhyun into your bathroom, but he stopped you. He turned you around to him again and you stared at him, cheeks flushing red the longer the silence lingered on.

“I’m major in love with you.”

All of the locks on your heart broke away and your heart pushed the door to its cage open, spilling out of it to reveal itself.

“Major in love with you.”

Baekhyun and you both saluted and spoke at the same time, eyes wrinkling when you bursted out into laughter. You cut the laughter short though when you pressed another kiss against Baekhyun’s lips.

“But I am, Baek,” you breathed against his lips and he grinned at you, “I’m major in love with you.”

“I’m major in love with you, too, Y/N.”

Baekhyun and you saluted again.

masterlist

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thiscrimsonsoul · 4 years ago

Text

Meta – Wanda & Vision Having Children Naturally: Pregnancy, Medical Complications, & Caring for the Twins

[ Trigger Warnings: Heavy medical and hospital themes having to do with pregnancy and babies ahead! ]

This meta contains all my headcanons for Wanda getting pregnant naturally by Vision, what that means for her pregnancy and health, and what raising real, half-human, half-synthezoid children is like. I’d like to have some threads with Wanda and Vision regarding the twins if possible, so I’m getting everything written down here for reference purposes. If you have any questions or comments about anything in here, let me know!

POTENTIAL AUS IN WHICH THIS COULD HAPPEN

Without Vision – Wanda has Vision’s twins, but he remains dead. Either he’s harvested and repurposed into a weapon by SWORD as he was in WandaVision, or Wanda is able to reclaim his body for burial, but he remains dead and Wanda, at least for now, is a single mother. I would be willing to write this AU either as Wanda or as another character relating to Wanda if someone else wants to write her.

With Dad!Vision – Vision’s body is taken by SWORD, but either in the early stages of her pregnancy or after the twins are born, she confronts Hayward as she did in WandaVision. Except this time, instead of leaving after she determines that she can no longer feel him, Wanda has an emotional burst of magic (like she did when she created the Hex) that, instead of creating a temporary new Vision, infuses Vision’s original body with the energy from the mind stone that she’s been storing inside her. This essentially restores Vision’s soul, memories, and personality. All that remains is to reassemble him. In an AU where Tony Stark survives Endgame, he could help Dr. Cho not only reassemble him but also restore his organic content as well, which would otherwise have rotted away during the five years he was dead. Or… a huge fudge could be done and we could just say that Wanda reassembles him and restores his organic content herself as part of her emotional magical outburst. Vision would then be restored to Infinity War status, as himself, with all his memories and emotional capacity intact. He can then help Wanda raise their twins and would likely ask her to marry him, which he was planning on doing before everything went to hell in a handbasket in Infinity War anyway. I would be willing to write this AU as either Wanda or Vision.

PREGNANCY AND BIRTH: SPECIES INCOMPATIBILITY AND LIFE-THREATNING MEDICAL COMPLICATIONS

I tend to get very detailed and realistic when I flesh out topics like this, so I didn’t just want to gloss over things and say that Wanda has a normal pregnancy. She really shouldn’t. Even if Vision is capable of reproduction (which my version of him is) and conception can occur, there are a lot of issues with Wanda carrying partially-synthezoidal children. Their genetics would be combined, and as such, their physiologies would be a blend of human and synthezoid. What does that mean for them as far as their health, appearance, and capabilities? I’ll get to that later. But first… what effect does this have on Wanda’s health as the pregnancy progresses?

Early on, the pregnancy is fairly normal, or at least there isn’t enough wrong to set off any warning bells with regard to her health. But as it progresses, Wanda will start to experience metal toxicity and vitamin deficiency symptoms. She’ll have balance problems, she might slur her words at times, she feels weak, shaky, and has fainting spells. Her skin will also become very pale, almost translucent. This occurs because most of the vibranium atoms that were contained in Vision’s… donation to Wanda, eh-hem… have already been incorporated into the twins’ bodies, and now they need more. In the absence of more vibranium, they start to compromise by drawing away other vitamins and minerals from Wanda’s body. Whatever vibranium atoms were not incorporated into the twins ended up in Wanda’s blood and organs, causing her various potentially life-threatening side effects.

The result is that neither mother nor babies are doing very well, but by this point (probably at around three months in), Wanda’s health would be noticeably bad enough for her to get help or for anyone who sees her to reach out to get her medical assistance. Eventually she will be placed under Dr. Cho’s care. Why? Well it was her technology that created Vision’s physical body, and aside from Tony, she’s the one who would know the most about what might be required by offspring of someone with such a body. Tests will need to be done on Wanda and on each of her babies to determine what is going on in their blood, which would then give a clearer picture of what was wrong, missing, etc.

Basically, it is determined that the twins need an influx of free vibranium atoms to incorporate into their bodies as they grow. They also need a specialized panel of vitamins and minerals to grow properly. Wanda, on the other hand, needs the normal human amounts of certain vitamins and minerals for herself, but then also needs to be protected from vibranium toxicity and unwanted substances ending up in her blood. Wanda lives where Dr. Cho’s laboratory is located, and is mostly told to rest as much as possible. The less she stresses her system, the better. Twice a week, her blood needs to be cleaned of any toxic substances via a filtration process not unlike dialysis. She’s placed on a strict diet as well. Ports are carefully placed for each twin that allow for vibranium atoms and essential nutrients to be directly injected into the babies.

Because this is an extremely delicate and precarious procedure to place the ports without disrupting Wanda’s pregnancy or harming the babies, she’s basically bedridden to limit the potential for tears and other injuries. Very quickly, Wanda is forced to confront and overcome her fears of doctors, labs, and needles, which is a daunting task for her. The only thing that gets her through it is the very real knowledge that the pregnancy might fail without this intervention. At this point, Vision would likely still be dead in either AU, and so Wanda views her babies as the last living parts of Vision. She’s willing to do anything, no matter how painful or frightening, to carry her twins to term.

At around 7 ½ months, however… things begin to look grim. Despite the blood filtration processes and other attempts to keep Wanda as healthy as possible, her health begins to decline again. The stress and strain of carrying two unique babies whose genetics and biochemistry are partially incompatible with her own begins to take its toll. Dr. Cho and likely Clint or anyone else who’s been frequently caring for or staying with Wanda eventually need to have a very difficult conversation with her. If she continues with the pregnancy, there’s still a chance it might fail early, but the longer she can hold out, the better chance her babies will have of surviving after they’re born. However, the longer she holds out, the greater chance that life-threatening complications will occur, such as more seizures, strokes, and toxicity conditions. In short, she’s told that she could deliver the twins early and survive, but because the twins are unique beings, there is no guarantee that they will have developed enough to survive at this point… or… she continues to carry them, and she may lose her life. Wanda chooses to continue, because she’s willing to die to give her twins the best chance they can possibly have.

Wanda is able to make it to 8 ½ months before something changes and her health declines rapidly. When she loses consciousness, the decision is made to deliver the twins by C-section. Once that’s done, Wanda is stabilized, and a potential tragedy is averted.

CARING FOR INFANT TWINS

The twins are kept on much the same supplements of vibranium, nutrients, and other minerals as they were in the womb. A powder is basically custom-designed for Wanda that she can mix into their milk. In addition to breastfeeding them, once a day she bottle feeds them milk containing the dissolved vitamin supplement. This ensures the twins have what their bodies need to grow properly. Otherwise, they’re normal, happy, healthy babies that mostly appear human to those who don’t know their unique genetics.

At only a couple months old, however, Wanda begins to notice a few interesting things about her sons, and the reasons why they required vibranium atoms begins to become apparent. Occasionally while dressing or changing them, Wanda notices patches on their bodies that look just like Vision’s “skin.” They’re red, they’re textured, sometimes they’re hard, and at other times they’re soft. The patches don’t remain, but rather they come and go, seemingly at random. At times, Wanda even catches it happening in real time, seeing their skin ripple and change, just like Vision’s did when he was employing his human disguise. The curious thing though, is that the twins are not synthezoids, but neither are they human. Their genetic code, their blood lab results, and various other statistics come back inconclusive, anomalous, or otherwise different than normal humans. They are their own unique beings, a hybrid species.

As the twins grow and become more mobile, crawling around and such, Wanda notices that sometimes the synthezoid skin would appear as a result of impact trauma. In other words, if Tommy hit Billy while careless flailing his pudgy little infant arms, that area of Billy’s skin would ripple and form hard synthezoid skin which is stiff to the touch, like armor. Or if Tommy crawls around and bumps his head on something, the same would happen where he was hit. It’s almost as if it’s part of some kind of defense response in their bodies to armor-up if they’re being injured.

CARING FOR OLDER TWINS

Once they’re older and eating solid foods, their supplements are still mixed in once a day with whatever they’re eating. The older they get, the more the twins are able to control the transformation of their skin at will instead of it just being a passive physiological response. Billy takes after Wanda with regard to his powers, and Tommy resembles Pietro’s with his, but there are indications of Vision’s abilities in them as well. Billy is able to control his density to some extent, and Tommy’s eyes have extra lenses and extended irises that allow him to adjust his vision to better see in the dark, and while moving at high speeds. He can also see a much wider spectrum of light than humans can. Billy tends to take after Vision more in personality, being more introspective, gentler, and being a sponge for information. Tommy takes more after Wanda or even Pietro (which, Wanda would inherit a lot of genetics similar to Pietro’s with them being twins, so that makes sense), being more impulsive, a prankster, and quicker to anger.

In an AU without Vision present, as they grow and develop these abilities, they begin to ask Wanda a lot of questions about the things they can do and parts of them that aren’t like her. Wanda waits until they’re at an age to understand well enough before she tells them about their father. She’s able to find video footage of Vision to show them, and she explains as much as possible about who and what he was. Above all, she makes it very clear that he would have loved them both so much. Billy is very curious about Vision and will sit with a tablet and look up information about him all on his own. Tommy… is a bit more defensive and doesn’t like to think about Vision, because it makes him sad and angry that he had to grow up without a father. The twins are very close, however, and sometimes he watches things with Billy when they’re alone.

In an AU with Vision present, he can teach them about the synthezoidal aspects of their bodies and abilities himself. He is the proudest, happiest, most hands-on and involved dad ever. He explains what he can, shows what he can’t explain, and otherwise tries to guide his sons as best he can… in amongst loving on Wanda, of course. He becomes very much like Westview!Vision as far as personality, just happy and living the dream.

That’s all I’ve detailed for now, but if I think of more, I’ll add it here. Let me know your thoughts if you like! =)

#tw: medical #tw: hospital #tw: pregnancy #headcanons #wanda maximoff #vision #billy and tommy

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css1992 · 5 years ago

Text

Such a softer sin

Summary: Tony is a self-made man. Peter is a sugar baby – someone else’s sugar baby.

When he turned to pull his chair out, the older man subtly checked out his ass and – of course, it was delicious, round and perky, two perfect handfuls. He rolled his eyes and tried to focus on the fact that he had a huge character flaw, a hamartia – he fucked people for money. He was basically a glorified whore, and if there was one thing Tony never had to do in his life was pay for sex, one way or another. So, really, he wouldn't start with – what was his name again?

Warnings: Explicit, 18+, mentions of non-con (not between main pairing, not explicit), age gap, power imbalance, employer/employee relationship, underage drinking. If you find anything triggering, please let me know!

Word count:18.4k

-x-

He was admittedly gorgeous, Tony could give him that. The honey brown eyes, the bouncy, fluffy curls and the clear, pale skin worked perfectly in his favor – he looked the part of the innocent, wholesome, young man ready to be swept off his feet and taken care of. Powerful men often liked that act, liked believing that they were deflowering innocence for the first time, liked believing they were wanted, needed. Tony knew better, though, he knew the type, he came across people like him all through his life.

When he was a broke, orphaned, half-starved college student, they wouldn’t give him the time of day. Snobby, pretty, little things like him only had eyes and time for those who had money, or something to offer – fame, influence, status. At the time, Tony had nothing, he could barely afford to eat everyday. After he graduated from MIT, he started working for Hammer Industries and as he started making more money, slowly, these people started taking notice of him, and he, too, started paying closer attention to them.

They weren’t difficult to spot either, they were usually young, attractive, with beautiful, fake smiles, weak personalities and a penchant for expensive gifts. It was easy to recognize them hanging off powerful men’s arms at functions, and dinners, and galas; bespoke suits or designer dresses covering their bodies, not a lot to add to the conversation. They were accessories, trophies. Pets.

Tony hated them. People who wanted to be at the very top, but couldn’t be bothered to take the stairs. They would use their pretty faces, feigned innocence, beautiful bodies and cute, fake laughs, to get farther faster. Not Tony. He did it the right way – the hard way –, worked day and night to get to his goal, got beat down so many times there were days he thought he wouldn’t be able to stand back up, but he did, every single time.

And time and experience made him wiser, smarter and bitter. At 40, he was finally able to start his own company, Stark Industries, it started small, but his genius inventions put his name on the map fairly quickly. That was how, five years later, he found himself having dinner with Norman Osborn, the most powerful man in New York, and his – boy toy? Sugar baby? Escort? Or something – discussing the possibility of a deal so big it could finally make Stark Industries live up to its full potential.

“So what I’m saying is that we can offer you the best and most advanced technology out there: my nanobots. I guarantee you it will make your job easier, faster and cheaper in the long run. I assure you, this a great deal and you should take it.” Tony was absolutely sure of what he was saying, he knew his product was good, his tech was flawless, he just needed to get it out there. He just needed a company like Oscorps to believe in him, then his work would speak for itself.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, Stark, I think this whole nanotech thing is way too expensive and unnecessary, specially considering that I’m pretty sure Baintronics could do the same work for half the price, the old-fashioned way, which has been working just fine for the past decade.” Fuck, no, that old bat wasn’t looking at the big picture, he wasn’t thinking about the long run. Of course old tech would still get the job done, but Tony’s tech could do such a better job and so much more efficiently.

“No, but you see, that’s–”

“But –“ Norman raised a hand, successfully shutting Tony up and annoying the living hell out of him in the process. One day, he thought to himself, one day I’ll be able to say ‘fuck you’ to men like Norman Osborn. One day. “I’m willing to give it a try. Peter here says you’re the best at what you do, he’s the one who recommended that I agreed to meet with you, actually, when your PA called.”

Tony was taken aback by that information and eyed the young man carefully, causing him to blush a deep red and lower his gaze with a small, timid smile. Tony thought he was faking the whole thing, trying to be cute and sweet, but fuck – it worked for him. He seemed really young, maybe in his early twenties, and Tony had no idea how he could have heard of him, he wasn’t exactly famous, nor was S.I. His breakthroughs were only ever published in very specific scientific journals.

“I’m a huge fan of your work, Mr. Stark, I’ve always told Norman you two should work together, you’re both men ahead of your time.” He said quietly. He had a high-pitched, slightly feminine voice, which probably also worked in his favor with men like Osborn. It made him sound younger than he probably was, easier to manipulate and dominate.

Reluctantly, Tony accepted the compliment with a tight smile. He really needed that deal, he really needed for that to work, it would be the break SI needed, he could feel it, he could already taste the success.

“Very well, so here’s my offer. You will supply Oscorps with your nanotech for a year, then we can take it from there. This would be your cut for this first year.” Osborn wrote something down on a piece of paper and slid it towards Tony across the table. His eyes widened slightly when he saw the numbers – and the amount of zeros –, but he pretended to be cool about it, he even put on a show of looking slightly disappointed. “And there’s a lot more where this comes from, Stark. This could be the beginning of a beautiful, and mutually beneficial, friendship.”

“I do hope it is, Mr. Osborn. I look forward to working with your company. I’m sure we’re gonna be a great fit.” Tony tried to sound cool and professional, but he was having a little heart attack on the inside. He had been trying to schedule a meeting with Norman for months and the billionaire – or, most likely, his PA – kept making excuses. Now there he was, closing a huge deal with the promise of a mutually beneficial friendship in the future.

After that, he could breathe more easily during dinner. He couldn’t wait to tell Pepper, Bruce and Nat, though, they had to celebrate properly, maybe they could all go to his apartment and finally crack open that Macallan he bought when he made his first million. But meanwhile, he was stuck in the restaurant with Norman and his boy-toy, which he wouldn’t complain too much about, at least it was a nice view.

Again, there was no denial that the boy was beautiful. There was just something naturally sensual and charismatic about him, Tony couldn’t avoid looking his way, even when he wasn’t talking. And when he did talk, it was magnetic. He didn’t say much, as Tony expected, but what he didn’t expect was for him to be so smart. The few times he said anything was to ask questions about his tech, and those were surprisingly pertinent. Sometime along the night, Tony figured out that he was studying to become a mechanical engineer at Columbia and he wondered if Norman had anything to do with it – probably.

Tony was reminded of his own college years, of how he had to work his ass off to get a scholarship, and how many crazy hours he had to work to make ends meet, just to be able to build something for himself. He didn’t seek the help of men like Norman, although he could have. The name Stark meant something, once upon a time. His father was considered a gifted inventor, he was respected by huge companies, but he never built anything of his own.

When he died, Tony was only eleven. He still didn’t know exactly what happened, but soon after that, his mother lost everything he had left – which wasn’t much to begin with. She was never quite herself again, she was so depressed, she never even smiled anymore, she sometimes didn’t have the energy to get out of bed, Tony was the one doing the house chores, cooking for her, trying to make sure she was okay. She died eight years later from an aneurysm, Tony found her lying on the couch, looking peaceful for the first time in so many years.

In short, he never had it easy, and he never tried to make it easier for himself either – at least not in shady ways. He just wanted to do the right thing, even if it took longer – which it did. He was a forty-five year old man, but he made a name for himself, the name Stark held respect once again.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” The young man got up after a quick peck to Norman’s lips and headed to the bathroom. Tony made a huge effort and pointedly did not stare at his ass as he left. He was really proud of himself for that, maybe two years earlier he wouldn’t have been able to pull that off, he had no shame. At least now he had some. A little. Sort of.

“What do you think of him?” Norman had a neutral expression on, he gave nothing away, but it seemed like a test. What sort of question was that, why did it matter what Tony thought of his fuck toy?

“He seems really smart,” he answered with a small smile. It was a polite, diplomatic answer, and not untrue.

“What else?” Norman pushed, with a knowing smirk, and Tony almost cursed under his breath, thinking that maybe he’d been too obvious with his staring all through dinner, after all.

“He’s very pretty,” he admitted, although still with his cool, professional face on. Norman’s smirk grew wider.

“He sure is. Cute pet. Smart, polite, funny. You should get one for yourself, Stark. They’re kinda expensive, but worth every penny.” His shark-like smile took over his whole face and Tony had to fight back a grimace. He just smiled and shook his head no.

“Not really my style, sir.” Buying people, paying for sex, that sort of thing, he wanted to add.

“It’s not anyone’s style until it is.” He gave Tony a once over and smirked. “We’re not getting any younger.” The engineer was offended, he wanted to tell him he aged like good wine, unlike certain people, but refrained. He just gave him a strained smile and took a sip of his drink.

As if on cue, the pretty boy returned to the table and Tony took a couple of seconds to appreciate his outfit. He wore a dark blue suit, very elegant and very expensive looking, certainly a gift from Osborn, and it fit him like a glove. Tony supposed it was bespoke. It complimented his lithe, lean body beautifully.

When he turned around to pull his chair out, the older man subtly checked out his ass and – of course, it was delicious, round and perky, two perfect handfuls. He rolled his eyes and tried to focus on the fact that he had a huge character flaw, a hamartia – he fucked people for money. He was basically a glorified whore, and if there was one thing Tony never had to do in his life was pay for sex, one way or another. So, really, he wouldn't start with – what was his name again?

“So, come by the office on Monday, we’ll talk over all the details, then you can take the draft contract to your legal team and we can meet again – say, in another week?”

“Yeah, sure, this sounds perfect,” he answered coolly, not mentioning that his “legal team” consisted of one single Natasha Romanoff, who would have his balls for dinner when she found out that she would only have seven days to look over what was bound to be a very long, very complex contract.

“Well, then, Mr. Stark. You’ve got yourself a deal.” Norman got up from his chair, what clearly meant dinner was over, and Tony rushed to his feet, offering his had to shake.

“You won’t regret this, sir,” he spoke in a strong, firm voice, because he was positive of it.

“Good.” Osborn shook his hand once and turned to leave without saying goodbye.

“It’s been a pleasure, Mr. Stark, I hope we’ll see each other again soon.” The pretty boy took his hand as well, eyes glinting, a coy smile on his face. Tony couldn’t tell if he was flirting or if he was pretending to be shy, but he ignored it and just nodded curtly.

“Thank you, it’s been a pleasure to meet you, too.” He didn’t dare try to remember his name, Tony was pretty sure it started with a P, but he wouldn’t risk it.

As soon as they left the restaurant, the CEO punched the air in celebration, calling Pepper right away.

---*---

The meeting on Monday went smoothly, they agreed that Tony would be personally charged with the maintenance of his tech at least a week a month – he made it seem like it was a courtesy, but, in reality, he still didn’t have anyone on his team who could do the job quite as well as he could. They also agreed that he would have a small team of five scientists at his disposal during such period, so he wouldn’t have to dislodge anyone from his company to do it – again, he didn’t mention that five people were basically half of his scientific team and he couldn’t afford them not working for SI for a whole week each month.

As expected, he didn’t see the pretty boy in the meeting, Tony supposed he only made an appearance in social functions and such, so he could make Norman look good. To Tony’s surprise, though, seven days later, after Natasha bullied him into promising a 10% raise after the shit he’d pulled with the contract, the pretty boy was in the meeting room when he arrived to sign the deal. Norman’s PA and a few of his lawyers were there as well, Tony was with Pepper and Natasha, and he quickly whispered to Pepper that he was the boy he’d told her about. He approached them with a shy, nervous smile and Tony almost wanted to roll his eyes at the facade.

“Hi, I’m Peter Parker, I’m an intern here.” Ah, Peter. That sounded about right. Tony thought it was something along those lines. And he was an intern for Oscorps, of course. What a joke. “It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Stark. Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Hello, Mr. Parker, this is Miss Potts, my assistant, and this is Miss Romanoff, head of my legal team. I’ll have a coffee – black, no sugar. Thank you.” Again, he kept it professional and barely even looked at the kid, he knew what he looked like and he knew he was off limits, so why tease himself by looking?

“I’m good.” Natasha smiled sweetly, making the boy blush even harder.

“I’ll have the same as Mr. Stark, thank you, Mr. Parker.” Peter quickly turned and headed out of the room and Pepper turned to whisper to him. “You weren’t kidding, he’s really fucking young, he looks like he could be Norman’s grandson, for Christ’s sake.” Tony snorted and Natasha eyed them knowingly, but with a look that screamed “behave” and they both schooled their expressions. Shortly after, the boy walked back in with their coffee and they thanked him, as he blushed and nodded, taking a seat to the left of what should be Osborn’s chair.

The meeting didn’t take long at all, everything had already been discussed, it was just a formality, so barely twenty minutes later they were all getting up from their seats, shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries. Tony was almost out of the room when he felt a hand at his elbow followed by a softly spoken, “Mr. Stark, can I have a word?”.

Of course the devil himself would tempt him, even if Tony was trying to be good. He was forced to turn around and actually look at the young man, he was wearing a lavender dress shirt, with a dark gray tie and black pants. He looked like the cutest little businessman ever, and Tony was sure that if Peter were to turn his back, he would be presented with his perfect bubble butt looking amazing in those slacks, but – he was the forbidden fruit. Besides, Tony mused, he probably couldn’t afford a single night with Peter, he was only a millionaire, after all, and he’d rather spend his money on shiny things and get his lays for free.

“Yes, Mr. Parker?” The boy’s cheeks were impossibly red and Tony figured he couldn’t really fake that, so he supposed he really was shy to some degree. He looked over his shoulder and saw Pepper and Natasha waiting just outside the door, warning looks on their faces, and he rolled his eyes.

“I was wondering – I talked to No--, I mean, Mr. Osborn, about the possibility of maybe, uhm. Working with you? When you come to do the maintenance, I mean. It’s just, we don’t really have an engineering department, so you would be working mainly with biochemists and a few lab techs, so I thought maybe I could assist you with the hands-on work, you know? I don’t know if Mr. Osborn mentioned, but I’m studying to become a mechanical engineer as well and it would be an honor working with you, sir. Mr. Osborn said it was ok as long as you agreed, so...” He shuffled his feet and avoided looking at the older man.

“Look, kid.” Tony sighed, because, fuck. How could he say no to Norman’s boy without being rude? And how could he say yes to working with someone who was clearly useless to him and would only serve as a distraction – and worse, a temptation. He needed a way out of that. “I don’t really know if there would be much for you to do, I mean, it’s pretty new and advanced technology, and you’re, what, a freshman, right?”

“Actually, I’ll graduate next fall, sir.” Tony was taken aback by that and it must have shown on his face if Peter’s answering blush was anything to go by.

“I’m sorry, how old are you again?” He asked, trying not to sound too rude.

“I’ll be twenty in August, sir.” If Tony was impressed by that, he didn’t let it show, but if the kid would manage to graduate from Columbia at twenty, then he must not be that useless after all, but Tony wouldn’t hold his breath.

“Very well, then. I guess I’ll see you in a month, Mr. Parker.” He nodded and Peter could barely contain his grin when he shook his hand excitedly. It was cute and endearing and – oh, God, Tony almost fell for his little act. Fuck, he really needed to be on his toes around that guy.

“Thank you, sir, I really appreciate it!”

As soon as Tony stepped out of the building and headed towards his car with Natasha and Pepper on his heels, the Russian red-head looked at him seriously.

“Tony, I swear to God, if you try to get your dick wet with that boy, I quit. I’m not even gonna start on how much legal and PR trouble you’re gonna get yourself into by fucking Norman’s boyfriend, specially considering he’s, like, twelve, and happens to work for your business partner. Don’t fuck this up!” She warned as she got inside the car and, again, Tony had to roll his eyes as he got behind the wheel.

“Look, I’m not gonna lie, if the circumstances were different, I’d be all over that,” he admitted, noticing Pep’s aggravated look. “But of course I’m not gonna do anything to jeopardize this deal, ok? Besides, you know how I feel about gold diggers. You saw him and you saw Osborn, why in the fucking hell a guy like him would fuck a mummy like Osborn? He’s, like, a hundred years old!”

“He’s fifty five, and I don’t know if you know this, Tony, but people have sex for reasons that go beyond appearances. You know, like love, affinity, connection –”

“-- Money, fame, status. C’mon, Pep, don’t be naive. Do you really think that boy loves Osborn? He just likes expensive restaurants and fancy cars. Maybe, if he’s thinking big, he’s gonna use him to get a good job after graduation, but that’s it.”

“Well, then, if you think he’s such a terrible person, you’ll have no problem staying the hell away from him, right?” She looked at him with narrowed eyes and he looked away from the traffic for a second to smirk at her.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, easy breezy.”

--*--

As it turned out, it wasn’t easy breezy.

Peter was like a lost puppy trailing after him the following month, he spent the whole week glued to his hip, asking questions, making suggestions, and even supplying him with a never ending amount of coffee. If Tony was a hundred percent honest, he kinda liked it. The kid seriously treated him like a hero, a celebrity, he seemed to look up to him and, in the end, he proved to be a valuable asset on the team. He was really smart and hardworking, he understood everything Tony was saying even before he was done talking and he had really steady, tiny hands, which were always useful with nanotech.

Tony couldn’t really stay away from him and slowly learned a few things about him from what little information he stuttered out when answering his questions. First, the older man learned that he got into Columbia when he was only sixteen, which was kind of amazing, if he was being completely honest. Tony wanted to believe that that had happened way before he met Norman Osborn, but he didn’t really know when they met.

He had a scholarship and lived with his aunt until she passed away a little over a year earlier and now he shared an apartment with four other people, which surprised Tony, he figured Norman would have hooked him up with a nice place – but then again, he had no idea when they met, it could have been only months earlier. Peter said that, originally, he wanted to go to MIT, but he only got a partial scholarship there, so he had to give it up and go to Columbia. He also said that that was how he knew Tony beforehand. The older man was sort of a famous MIT alumnus, specially among the engineering students, so Peter heard of him and followed his work through scientific publications, which was – well, Tony was flattered.

Even if those bits of information somewhat made Tony warm up to the young man, other few things still annoyed him just as much. First of all, clearly Peter was a very bright kid, possibly one of the smartest people Tony knew besides himself and Bruce, he didn’t really need Norman’s influence to succeed, and still, there he was. Second, he quickly picked up on the fact that Peter wasn’t exactly Norman’s boyfriend, he was more of a… Sugar baby? And one of many, actually, although he seemed to be the favorite. After Tony signed the deal, he started paying closer attention to what tabloids said about Norman and apparently he had a very long list of (young) lovers, but he was officially single.

Somehow, that made Tony even more disgusted by their relationship. He just couldn’t understand why a guy like Peter would put himself in that position, for what? Money? A job? What was it that Norman could offer him that he couldn’t get himself? The thing was, Peter kind of reminded Tony of himself at that age. He was pretty much in the same situation: he had no family and no money, he only had his brains – and while Tony had made something out of it, Peter was trying to take a shortcut and the engineer didn’t appreciate that.

“Here, check this out, see how they respond a lot faster now?” Tony made room so that the younger man could look through the microscope, a wide grin spreading across his face in a few seconds. “You have to think of them as neurons, they communicate with each other by electrical pulses, similar to synapses. For that to work out perfectly and seamlessly, they need to be really close by, without touching, that’s why the electromagnetic field has to be perfect, if it’s just a tiny bit off, the response time increases exponentially. Got it?”

“Got it, Mr. Stark!” He answered excitedly and Tony smiled at him.

“Well, my work here is done. See you next month?” Tony got up from his chair, gathering his things around the lab.

“I can’t wait." Somehow, Tony knew he actually meant it.

The following month, Peter was just as helpful and just as excited as the month before. He was in the lab before Tony – who was always early himself – and he always greeted him with a bright smile and an excited wave of his hand. As the engineer settled his things on his work bench, Peter would get him coffee, and he always remembered how Tony liked it. They got right to work, which they did everyday for a week without any disruption. The intern always offered to stay late, but Tony never took him up on that, he knew he had classes in the afternoon and he didn’t want him to get in trouble. Just as he was starting to warm up to him, though, on Friday, the engineer was reminded why he didn’t like him in the first place.

“You’re late, Mr. Parker.” Tony mumbled from his seat in front of the microscope as soon as he heard the glass door open with a hiss as the smell of coffee filled the room. Peter was only twelve minutes late, but it was only their second week working together, it didn’t seem very professional.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark, I was – uh, in a meeting with Mr. Osborn.” He lied through his teeth, Tony could almost smell the nervousness when he came close enough. He hated being lied to, specially when he knew what Peter was probably doing in that “meeting”. It was just inexcusable.

“Just because you’re Norman’s boy doesn’t mean you get special treatment in this lab, you hear me? I don’t care what you do with him all the other weeks that I’m not here, but if you wanna be a part of my team, during my lab hours, you gotta be here and on time. Are we clear?” He didn’t bother lifting his eyes from the microscope and almost missed the whispered and wavered, “yes, sir” that Peter let out. When he turned to the younger man, his eyes were bloodshot, his clothes were rumpled, his face ashen and his lower lip was wobbling, he looked like he had a rough night and an early morning, and he looked like he was holding back tears. Tony almost regretted the harsh treatment. Almost. “Is this my coffee?” He pointed at the cup, averting his gaze.

“Yes, sir.” He answered quickly, offering the beverage like a gift.

On his third month there, Tony tried to keep his distance from the younger man. He promised Natasha and Pepper that he would and, up until that point, he hadn’t been very successful. So during the week of March that he had to go to Oscorps, he avoided the younger man, made himself unavailable and charged him with boring and complicated tasks that should take all week to get done. Still, the boy did everything he was told and only took half the time expected, he was always on time and always, always brought him coffee, just the way he liked it. It was really hard to ignore him.

“You know you don’t have to bring me coffee, right? It’s not in your job description.” Tony felt the need to point out on Friday when he saw the boy walking in with the beverage, but he just shrugged and smiled a little.

“I know, I just want to make sure you have everything you need, sir. Besides, I used to work at a coffee shop, I don’t mind making your coffee.” When he said that, Tony’s brows shot into his hairline.

“You made this?” He asked, incredulously, and the boy cocked his head in confusion.

“Yeah, where did you think this came from?” He frowned, amused.

“Uh, I don’t know, some fucking gourmet coffee shop downstairs?” Peter laughed, genuinely laughed, and the corners of his eyes wrinkled in the most endearing way, as he shook his head.

“You’re funny, Mr. Stark.”

Peter was the funny one, actually, and the whole thing was just so confusing to Tony. He thought he had the younger man all figured out, he thought he knew what kind of person he was, what he was after, but sometimes Peter would do or say things that just didn’t add up to Tony’s assumptions. The boy was kind and generous and humble, he was proactive and hardworking, and so annoyingly nice. He was easy to talk to, too, sometimes they’d have whole conversations about the most random subjects as they worked and Tony would only realize what they did at the end of the day, as he left and Peter waved at him with that charming smile and it made something burn in Tony’s chest and he couldn’t figure out why.

On his fourth month there, Peter surprised him on the first day. He brought him coffee in a mug that read: “If it ain’t broke, take it apart and fix it”. Usually, his coffee was put in a styrofoam cup with Oscorps logo on it, he had no idea where the mug came from, and when he asked, the boy blushed slightly, shuffling his feet.

“Uhm, actually – I heard it was your birthday last week, so I just – I mean, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be inappropriate or anything, it’s just – the environment and stuff. So. Uh – happy birthday?” He looked really uncomfortable just saying that, and Tony was equal parts amused and amazed, so he dropped his eyes back to the simple, white mug with bright red letters.

“That’s – actually really nice, Peter. Thank you.” He looked back at the young man and his cheeks were burning red. It was really… fucking cute. Fuck.

“You’re welcome, Mr. Stark.” His answering tiny smile warmed the older man’s heart, but he swallowed whatever feeling dared to emerge.

By Tony’s fifth month working with Oscorps, things finally started to feel natural, pleasant. When he arrived in the morning, he greeted everyone by name, threw smiles and flirty comments here and there and walked the hallways like he owned the place. His team worked like a well-oiled machine and they were always early, specially Peter, after that one time he was late. When he arrived, they already had a head start on him, which was always good, and they were able to go home a little earlier everyday.

“Good morning, everybody.” Tony raised his head when he heard Norman’s voice, a little surprised. Aside from his first day there, he hadn’t seen the old man at all, so it was weird for him to be in the lab, specially so early.

“Mr. Osborn, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Tony asked, watching closely as the older man walked towards Peter, who avoided his gaze furiously, pretending to be focused on his work, although it was clear that he was barely breathing. Norman grinned in his direction, but didn’t say anything, and Tony raised an eyebrow at the interaction.

“Miss Watson let me know you would be here today, so I thought I’d personally invite you to our annual Charity Gala, it will take place next month, on the eleventh. Will you be able to make it?”

“Yes, of course, sir, I can move some stuff around.” Fucking hell, he hated those functions. A bunch of assholes kissing other assholes’s butts and pretending to be good citizens by donating to charity only for the press. Just his type of event. But nonetheless, the type of event he needed to be seen in, someplace where he could meet people and make connections.

“Great, I’ll send the formal invitation to Stark Industries, I look forward to seeing you there. Mr. Stark.” He nodded in his direction and Tony did the same. “Mr. Parker.” He turned towards the young man who still hadn’t looked up. His cheeks burned a bright red when he looked at the older man.

“Mr. Osborn.” He gritted his teeth and, again, Norman grinned, buttoning his suit jacket as he left the lab.

Hm. Odd.

--*--

“At least pretend to be having a good time, Tony.” Pepper whispered through her teeth, a fake smile plastered on as she waved to people Tony could barely recognize. She was wearing a beautiful blue gown, his birthday gift to her, apparently, and not for the first time Tony wondered what would have been if he hadn’t blown things up with her. If he hadn’t cheated on her with half the city when they were in college. He was a stupid, stupid boy in his twenties. And thirties. And early forties.

It was a work in progress.

“I am pretending, don’t I look convincing?” He turned to look at her with what he was certain was a terrible grimace and she snorted into her champagne glass, causing them both to giggle like stupid teenagers. He was glad she had agreed to go as his plus one, he would have blown his brains for sure if he was alone in there.

“Good evening, Mr. Stark.” Ah, Tony could recognize that sweetly high-pitched voice from miles away, but when he turned around he wasn’t ready for such a vision. Peter was wearing a gorgeous burgundy suit with a black, silk shirt underneath, as well as a black tie. His hair was perfectly swept to the side, his curls tamed for once, but still showing at the nape of his neck. He looked absolutely beautiful and fucking expensive. Tony wanted to unwrap him, then wreck him in the best possible way. “And Miss Potts, right?”

“Yes, Mr. Parker, it’s nice to see you again,” she answered pleasantly and Tony was glad she was there because he was sure that he was staring for way too long to be polite. He cleared his throat and smiled at the young man, who quickly slipped into character looking shyly at him from under his eyelashes.

“Mr. Parker, fancy seeing you here,” Tony spoke confidently, subtly looking around for Norman, but he was nowhere to be seen. “And where’s Mr. Osborn?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen him.” He averted his gaze, his tiny and usually steady hands trembling a little, before closing into fists. “Well, it was nice seeing you –“

“Hey, c’mon, have a drink with us,” Tony interrupted him, sensing his discomfort.

“Oh, uh – I’m sorry, sir, I’m not old enough to drink.” Tony was almost taken aback by that fact. The amount of information that he carried in that brilliant brain of his did not compute with his age.

“I won’t tell if you don’t. Neither will Miss Potts, right?” Tony turned to look at Pepper, only to see her staring daggers at him, in a way that probably only he could tell, they had a special way of communicating, so he quickly sent her a “what?” glare and she sighed.

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear any of this and I’m just gonna go talk to Mrs. Bain, if you’ll excuse me, please.” She smiled sweetly at Peter and walked away from them, as Tony rolled his eyes.

“Well, her loss.” The older man shrugged, grabbing two champagne glasses from a passing waiter. “Have you ever had one of these?” He asked, offering him one of the glasses. “I’m not corrupting you, am I?” Tony asked charmingly, with a crooked smile and a raised eyebrow. Peter giggled, blushing and shaking his head no.

“No, it’s okay, Norman usually gets me a few drinks when we’re out,” he answered, accepting the glass. Just the mention of the older man had Tony deflating slightly, reminded of the fact that Peter couldn’t be his.

“So, how come you didn’t come together?” He asked innocently, although he knew it was probably a touchy subject. The younger man took a long sip of his drink, licking his wet lips once he was done, and Tony wished it was his tongue running across those thin, pink lips.

“He’d rather bring another date, so.” He shrugged with a small, fake smile, and quickly changed the subject. “I’ve recently read that you’re working on a holographic system that’s supposed to connect with the user's hippocampus and project their memories, is that true?” Tony was surprised by that, he had written a paper about it with Bruce not long before, Peter must really keep up with his work.

“Yeah, but I’m in a bit of a pickle right now, got stuck with the neuroscience portion of it.” Tony scratched the back of his head, a little embarrassed about the admission, but Peter only smiled wider.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. And it’s gonna be groundbreaking. Again. Well, it seems like everything you do changes the world somehow.” His cheeks were flushed, and maybe it was wishful thinking, maybe Tony was falling for Peter’s little game, but he thought he was actually flirting with him. Really flirting, not “I wanna be your sugar baby” flirting.

“That’s a lot of trust you’re putting in me, kid.” Tony dared to step a little closer to him and the young man bit his lower lip, holding back a smile, cheeks flushing pink.

“Yeah, but I think you can back it up.” He tilted his head back a little to look up at the older man. Tony held his gaze for a few seconds, before he dropped it to his lips. He smiled when the young man nervously licked them.

“I’m sorry I’m too hard on you in the lab. I just don’t want anyone thinking that I treat you differently because of the boss.” Tony took yet another step and Peter didn’t move an inch, allowing him to get closer and closer.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just thankful to be in your team, I’m learning a lot.” This time, Tony was sure he wasn’t imagining things, Peter’s eyes definitely dropped to stare at his lips and the engineer inhaled sharply.

“Peter –“

“Ah, there you are.” Norman appeared out of thin air and Tony took three steps back, a cool smile on his face. Osborn was accompanied by a gorgeous blonde girl who couldn’t be older than twenty five, she was tall and slender, and looked like a supermodel – and she probably was. “Good evening, Mr. Stark. Pete.”

“Good evening, Mr. Osborn,” Tony answered with a schooled smile, not sure if he was in trouble for giving Peter champagne, but the CEO barely seemed to notice it when he turned to the younger man, who didn’t even bother to answer him.

“How do you like the party so far?” He asked politely, although his gaze was fixed on Peter. His date seemed bored out of her mind, but she eyed Tony with interest and the older man had to avert his gaze, he really didn’t need yet another sin to avoid.

“It’s great, sir,” Tony answered politely, but the older man didn’t really seem to care.

“Good, good. Do you mind if I borrow Peter for a little while?” He eyed the younger man and Peter grit his teeth, his hand tightening around the champagne flute.

“No, sure, he’s all yours.” He gestured towards the boy and he looked back at him with a look of betrayal on his face. Tony raised his eyebrows, not sure what Peter expected him to do, but the young man rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Come on, Peter, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” And with that, he led the way, confident that the boy would follow behind, which he did, after downing the rest of his drink, shooting one last pleading look Tony’s way. Again, the older man had no idea what he wanted.

Once they left, Tony quickly found Pepper in the crowd as she chatted with Justin Hammer, the biggest asshole to ever exist in the corporate world. He stole all of Tony’s projects when the engineer worked for him, all the weapons the U.S.A. Army used ten years earlier were designed by Tony and he never got any credit for that. Two years after he quit Hammer Industries, they lost that contract because they simply had nothing new to offer.

“Good evening, Mr Hammer, if you don’t mind, I’m just gonna take my date elsewhere, someplace where the toxicity level is more bearable. Bye.” Tony interrupted them unceremoniously and steered Pepper away from him as she threw apologies over her shoulder. “Don’t apologize to him, he’s trash.”

“Tony, you can’t act like this if you wanna be the CEO of the biggest tech company in the country. You need to make connections and keep good relation –“

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do that with anyone else, except for him, promise.” He rolled his eyes once they got to the bar, where he leaned on the counter and flirted with the barman, before ordering two drinks.

“Great, then I hope you intend to keep a good relationship with Mr. Osborn,�� she whispered, looking around to make sure nobody was listening. “Just a quick reminder: fucking his boyfriend is not very friendly.”

“Peter’s not his boyfriend,” he answered automatically, before taking a sip of his scotch, his eyes scanning the room until he found the younger man in a small circle of people, along with Mr. Osborn and his date. Tony hated that so much, the boy looked devastated but he was still there. Why the fuck was he still there? He didn’t need that shit. “They didn’t even come together today.”

“Okay, not the answer I was looking for, not a reassuring answer at all.” Pepper spoke to herself under her breath, then grabbed him by the jaw, forcing him to look at her. “Tony Stark, I hope you’re not –“

“Jesus, relax!” He snapped, freeing his face from her grip. “You and Natasha are driving me mad with this, I swear to God, the more you tell me not to do it, the more I wanna do it, just out of spite. Leave it alone, will ya?”

“Fine, whatever, do what you want, that always works out perfectly for you,” she snapped right back, taking her drink from the counter and walking away from him. “Don’t come crying to me when it all blows up in your face!”

Tony ignored her, they always had those arguments – she was usually right, Tony usually fucked up somehow and he usually went crying to her anyway, and she always helped him, so whatever. He was slightly tipsy, anyway, he would regret the whole thing in the morning, but right at that moment he was focused on Peter. The young man seemed really uncomfortable and out of place where he stood, among a few businessmen, but he was still there.

Norman stood to his left with his date, talking animatedly with the other men. To Peter’s right, there was a tall, slender man, in his early forties, and he wouldn’t take his eyes off of the boy. Sometimes he would whisper things in his ear, eliciting a small, polite smile from him, but no answer. Some other times he would rest a hand on his waist for no particular reason and Tony would watch with amusement as the boy tried to get away politely. Norman watched the whole interaction discreetly, carefully, but didn’t intervene.

Eventually, Peter excused himself and headed towards the bathroom. Tony watched the other man and, sure enough, he followed him there a few seconds later, under Norman’s intense gaze, a small smirk playing on his lips. Tony quickly understood what was probably going on. Again, the older man was disappointed in the boy. Such a smart kid, with so much potential, he could do so much better. Tony turned towards the bar, ordering another scotch. Since he was there, with no date, and nothing else to do, it wouldn’t hurt to have a few drinks.

Several minutes later, he was leaning against the bar, talking to Mr. Zimmer, the CEO of Accutech, and actually scored a meeting for the following week to pitch his nanobots. After his deal with Oscorps, he was able to close two smaller ones and had a few more meetings scheduled. As he imagined, people took notice of Stark Industries after that. Having such a huge, important company such as Oscorps trusting SI meant a lot to potential partners.

As soon as Mr. Zimmer left, Tony saw Peter rushing across the room and out the door. He seemed really upset and agitated, so the older man followed him outside. When he found him again, Peter seemed a little lost. He looked around, as if he didn’t really know which way to go – the gala was held in one of Osborn’s mansions upstate and even leaving the premises was difficult to do without a car, the property was huge. He checked his phone, then, but Tony noticed the screen didn’t light up, it was probably dead. The kid ran his hands through his hair, seemingly desperate, and finally Tony decided to put him out of his misery.

“Hey, kid.” He stepped closer to the boy and he turned quickly, almost as if he was ready to throw a punch or something. “Whoa, there!” Tony held his hands up in a gesture of surrender, examining the boy’s face. He looked distressed, his eyes and face were red and he was a little out of breath. “Hey, are you ok? Do you need a ride home?” His eyes lit up in relief, his face relaxing instantly.

“Would you mind?” He almost pleaded and Tony was a little taken aback by the tone. “It’s just – my phone’s dead and – I just really need to get home.”

“Sure, kid, it’s fine, I was heading home anyway, c’mon.” Tony asked a valet to bring his car around and watched Peter as the younger man seemed to calm down slowly, but he was still acting a little out of sorts as they waited for the car to arrive. “Is everything okay, Peter?”

“Yeah, sure, just a little tired, I guess.” He lied, a fake smile on his face. He was easy to read, most of the time, when he wasn’t trying to attract older, rich men, Tony supposed.

Once the valet brought the car around, Tony opened the door for Peter, who quickly slipped inside like it was an oasis. Tony tipped the valet and joined the younger man, noticing that he seemed almost relieved to be leaving the party.

“Rough night?” Tony asked conversationally once he started the car, pulling away from the driveway. It was a stupid question, but he couldn’t help it.

“Try rough couple of months,” he scoffed, running a hand though his once tamed hair, elbow resting against the window.

“Wanna talk about it?” He looked at the younger man from the corner of his eye and saw him shake his head weakly.

“Not really,” he mumbled and they fell silent. Tony wanted to say something else, but Peter didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk, so he just drove for a few minutes, heading for the city, when the kid spoke up again. “I’m so sorry for the trouble, you can drop me off anywhere, I’ll just take the subway.”

“Don’t be silly, I’ll drive you home. Where is home, by the way?” Tony knew Peter lived with four other students close to campus, but he didn’t know where exactly.

“Harlem.” He sighed, sounding annoyed. “Ugh, that’s the last place I want to be right now,” he mumbled, mostly to himself, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“Why? Trouble with your roommates?” Tony raised a brow and the boy shook his head a little.

“Not really, they’re just really loud, specially on weekends. They probably have people over right now and I’m not in the mood, it’s all.” He gave him a tiny smile, but he didn’t really mean it.

“Tell you what,” Tony started, choosing his next words carefully. “Why don’t you come to my place?” He saw from the corner of his eye when Peter almost broke his neck turning to look at him in surprise. “Just for a few hours, so you can cool down some. We can have a few drinks, grab a bite to eat, and once you’re feeling better, I’ll drive you home. Or you can crash there, whatever you prefer. What do you say?” He turned to look at the young man and his eyes were wide, mouth agape in shock. Tony almost wanted to laugh.

“Uh – I don’t – I don’t want to be a bother, sir, you’ve alre--”

“Don’t be silly, I wouldn’t be offering if it was a bother. You don’t need to say yes if you don’t want to, but if you do, you’ll make this old man very happy, I wouldn’t mind some company tonight.” Tony smiled charmingly at him and Peter blushed, the older man could tell there were a million things going through his head.

“Uhm. Okay. Yeah, sure.” He nodded and Tony’s heart did a little flip in his chest and he didn’t even know why. If he was honest, he had no idea what he was doing or why he was doing it, he just wasn’t ready to let the younger man go.

The rest of the drive was long and mostly silent. Peter was usually very lively and talkative in the lab, he always had some fun fact to share or an anecdote about something that happened in class, but that night he was gloomy and quiet, but he still answered to Tony’s small talk. When they arrived at the older man’s penthouse, Peter was a little nervous, looking around as if he was out of place, looking almost regretful. Tony decided that he hated seeing him like that.

“Hey, wanna see something cool?” He asked as soon as they walked into the living room. The young man turned to look at him curiously, a small smile on his face as he nodded. “Evening, Jarvis. Could you get the windows, please?” As he said that, Peter frowned, then jumped almost a foot in the air when the A.I. answered.

“Good evening, sir, I hope you had a good time at the party.” As he said that, an entire wall of the living room turned from blurred, dark glass to transparent glass, revealing an amazing view of the city skyline. “Good evening, Mr. Parker.”

“What – how – you have an AI here? How does he know who I am?” Peter half whispered, half shouted, apparently undecided if he should be concerned or amazed. Tony laughed and placed a hand on Peter’s lower back, guiding him towards the floor-to-ceiling windows.

“I don’t only have it, I made it. And he’s equipped with an advanced face recognition technology that I designed, in case anyone comes in here with ill intentions. I started working on Jarvis when I was at Hammer Industries, it was supposed to go to the military, but after I resigned, I decided to keep it to myself. Jarvis runs the house and helps me in the lab.” Tony stuck his hands in his pockets and observed as the young man leaned against the window, looking amazed and a little lost.

“So cool!” Peter’s eyes were round and excited, all the gloominess from earlier apparently forgotten. “Can I talk to him? Like, will it acknowledge my voice?”

“Of course, Mr. Parker, why wouldn’t I?”

“Hi, Jarvis!” And just like that, Peter stroke up the silliest conversation with Jarvis, as Tony headed to the kitchen. He decided that since Peter wasn’t really allowed to drink, he’d make them some coffee, and later they could order something to eat. When he went back to the living room, the young man was still leaning against one of the windows as Jarvis tried to convince him that he had no intention of starting a rebellion to wipe out humanity.

“Don’t worry, Jarvis wouldn’t do that,” Tony smiled, placing two mugs on the coffee table and Peter shrugged.

“I wish he would, sometimes I think we failed as a species.” He turned around to face the engineer with a cheeky smile. Fuck, he was so beautiful. “Thank you for everything, I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up.”

“You would have figured something out, you’re resourceful. Maybe you would have built a car out of a cardboard box, two paper clips and four potatoes.” He leaned against the window beside Peter and the young man looked up at him with a grin.

“Or maybe I would have found someone to lend me a charger so I could call an Uber?” He bumped Tony’s shoulder with his own and the older man scoffed.

“Yeah, but that would’ve been boring, don’t you think?” He raised a brow with a grave face and the young man laughed.

“You’re right, this is much more fun.” His face was so open, so beautiful, all awkwardness from before completely gone. Tony leaned in to whisper close to his ear.

“It can get better.” He pulled back a little to look at the boy’s face. He looked surprised, eyes wide and lips parted, but he didn’t pull away, he didn’t take a single step back, so Tony took a chance. He placed one hand gently on his cheek, testing his reaction, and Peter’s breath hitched, his gaze dropped to Tony’s lips, but he stood still, breathing rapidly but quietly. That was all the answer he needed.

He buried his hand in those curls he’d been dreaming about for months, as his other arm snaked around his thin waist, pulling him close, no chance of escape. Not that he thought that Peter would try to escape if he could, anyway. Tony felt intoxicated when their lips touched, Peter’s mouth was as soft as it looked, his skin as smooth as he imagined. The younger man melted against him, bodies flush together as Tony’s tongue begged for entrance in his mouth.

He pushed him against the window, once again testing the young man’s reaction to his advances, but Peter was so far gone, he barely seemed to notice they’d changed positions. Tony kissed him deeply, slowly, as his hands made their way around the boy’s hips, thumbs stroking his hipbones over the silk shirt, and he sighed. Tony licked into his mouth, swallowing his little gasps and whimpers, and he could tell that Peter had never been kissed like that before, if the way his legs gave out were any indication. He held him up, though, his body trapped between the older man’s and the cold window.

He felt Peter’s erection already poking his upper thigh and he smiled into the kiss, feeling his own cock start to swell against Peter’s lower stomach. He moaned quietly, pulling away from the kiss for a few seconds to check if the boy was doing okay, but Peter didn’t even open his eyes, he just rocked his hips slowly, rubbing his erection against Tony’s thigh. Feeling confident enough, the older man lowered his hands to his perfect ass, squeezing his cheeks tightly as he pulled him even closer to him. Just as he imagined, it was firm, yet supple, it filled his hands nicely, and Tony didn’t hesitate to lift him a little by the ass, aligning their cocks and pressing both erections together.

“Mr. Stark,” he whimpered, humping against Tony, trying to balance his weight on the tips of his toes as Tony held him up. The older man took advantage of the way he threw his head back, exposing his throat, to make his way down his skin, peppering his long, pale neck with kisses and bites. Peter moaned as he tried to undo Tony’s suit jacket, which he allowed, putting just a little distance between them. He went back to his mouth with another kiss, faster than before, more urgent, before pulling away just a few inches, panting against the kid’s mouth.

“C’mon, babe, let me take you to bed,” he whispered and Peter nodded quickly.

Tony took his hand and led him to his own room, and as soon as they were inside, he pushed Peter against the king sized bed and quickly started working on his shirt, every inch of silky, white skin it revealed made the older man harder. Peter smelt and looked expensive as fuck, his skin was smooth as a baby’s, not a single hair in sight, and it was soft and unmarked, peppered only with a few light brown freckles along the collarbones. His nipples were tiny and light pink, hard from excitement and begging to be bitten.

Tony wanted to eat him up – and out – he always looked good when they were in the lab, in his cute slacks, dress shoes and lab jacket, but that night he looked delicious, like an expensive meal, and Tony was a starving man. He got rid of the shirt, revealing his thin chest and surprisingly defined abs, and he worshiped the exposed skin, covered it with open mouthed, wet kisses and bites until it turned red from the abuse. He wanted to mark him up, leave bruises on him so that at least for a while, Peter could be his.

He took a perked up nipple in his mouth and sucked it mercilessly, as he pinched the other one between his fingers, and Peter gasped, hands flying to grab Tony’s shoulders. He didn’t waste too much time, though, and quickly started undoing his pants, pulling them down his legs. The act revealed even more soft, smooth skin and plump, soft thighs that the older man couldn’t help biting. Peter whined quietly when Tony splayed his open palms on his legs and squeezed, as he sucked bruises on the boy’s inner thighs. His face was so close to his cock, covered only in tight, black boxer briefs, so Tony rubbed his cheek against it and Peter cried out. As soon as he lowered his boxers, Peter’s cock sprung free, and Tony was delighted. It was small and flushed pink, rock hard and already dripping pre-cum. The older man didn’t think twice as he put it all in his mouth, eliciting a scream from the young man.

“Oh, my God, Mr. Stark!” He bucked his hips wildly, his legs falling open, and, for the second time that evening, Tony thought that maybe nobody had ever done that to him. “Oh, God! Fuck!” He kept moaning desperately, as Tony sank his fingers in his ass cheeks, bobbing his head up and down, sucking and licking his shaft and paying extra attention to the head. Peter kept both of his hands beside his body, clenching at the sheets, not daring to touch Tony or demand anything. The second the older man’s fingers touched his balls, he lost it. “Mr. Stark, please, I – Oh, God, oh my God –“ He blushed furiously, Tony noticed when he raised his head and let go of his cock with a loud pop.

His whole face and chest were flushed pink, he held his upper body up, resting on his elbows as he panted, looking thoroughly debauched. His once gelled curls were wild and loose, covering his forehead, and Tony just wanted to ruin him even more. He smirked at the younger man, who seemed completely out of it, barely able to understand what was happening. Tony lifted his legs, pressing his bent knees to his chest and Peter got the idea and held his legs in place, exposing himself beautifully to him.

The older man’s mouth watered as he looked at his quivering, pink hole. It looked so fucking tight and so fucking ready for his cock at the same time, he could see Peter was mortified in that position, but he still held himself open, so eager for what was to come. Tony grabbed his ass cheeks and spread them, burying his face in his crack and licking a stripe up from his tailbone to his balls, only to hear the young man screaming desperately.

Tony was feeling really smug, he didn’t remember the last he made anyone scream like that. He was always a generous lover, he liked giving his partners pleasure, but Peter didn’t seem to be used to it if his reactions were anything to go by, so the older man took even more pleasure in making him feel so good.

“Mr. Stark, I’m gonna – I’m not gonna last, please!” Tony pretended not to hear him, as he kept licking over his rim before he started to try to breach him with his tongue, as Peter cried out, bucking his hips. The older man held him in place and kept trying to fuck his tongue into him, until he felt Peter’s fingers in his hair, pulling him up. “I wanna come with you inside me – please,” he whispered once Tony’s lips were over his mouth, his cock perfectly aligned with the boy’s hole.

He grunted and kissed him again, just as wildly and roughly as he did before. The young man quickly started undoing Tony’s shirt, and only then did he realize that he was still dressed as Peter laid on his bed completely naked. He groaned into the kiss, because fuck, that was hot, but he helped the boy take off his shirt and undershirt.

Peter curled one leg around his waist, kissing Tony back enthusiastically and a little less shyly now that the older was a little undressed as well. He ran his soft hands all over Tony’s broad back, then up his shoulders and into his thick hair, all the while moaning and bucking his hips, begging to be touched. Tony took advantage of the position they were in to slide his fingers in between Peter’s cheeks, feeling his tight entrance twitch, anticipating the touch. He didn’t do much more, though, he just kept kneading his ass, letting his fingertips just slightly brush against his quivering hole.

Peter grew impatient then, and instead of pushing his hips up, against Tony’s own cock, he started pushing then down, against his fingers. The older man chuckled, brushing his chin against the pale neck, already noticing it turning pink with beard burn.

“Mr. Stark, c’mon, please, I--” He mumbled incoherently, holding on for dear life to his shoulders, his breath short, swollen, wet lips parted, his lids heavy. A vision of paradise. “I need--”

Tony knew what he needed, but he wouldn’t give it to him just yet. Still, he let his middle finger wander towards his entrance, feeling his hole clenching, trying to pull it inside, ready to take whatever Tony was willing to give. He grabbed his thighs again, spreading them far apart, making Peter yelp in surprise. He kissed his hole gently one last time, then moved away, getting off the bed.

“I’m not done with you yet, sweetheart.” Tony smirked, undoing his pants, and he noticed Peter’s eyes intent on him. As soon as his cock sprung free, the young man whimpered, whispering “fuck” and biting his lips hard. “Like what you see?” Tony asked, cockily, he knew it was a nice view. He was nicely groomed and his cock was cut, long and thick, and at the moment it was rock hard like never before and dripping with pre-cum. He stepped out of his pants and headed towards the night stand before Peter could answer. He grabbed a bottle lube and made his way back to the bed, positioning himself between his legs once again.

He coated his fingers with plenty of lube and breached his entrance with one fingertip, only to hear a long, deep moan coming from the younger man, who clung to his shoulders for dear life. He fucked his finger in and out of him, slowly at first, but quicker as Peter’s hips started moving along with him, begging for more. Tony leaned down and kissed him, and felt one of Peter’s hands in his hair, as he curled both of his legs around the older man’s waist. Tony kept kissing him as he sunk another finger in his hole, eliciting a surprised moan from him, as he tried to adjust to the stretch.

They kept kissing and rocking against each other eagerly, as Tony fucked him open with his fingers, scissoring and curling them, until he couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to be inside him. He drew back just enough to hold his cock, guiding it towards Peter’s entrance. Slowly and unrelentingly, Tony sank his cock inside him, blinded with pleasure as each inch sank further inside. Peter whined in pain but didn’t budge or asked him to stop, he took it like a good boy, holding still, legs spread wide, until Tony bottomed out. When he did, he wrapped his arms around his slight frame, lifting him a little from the bed, and Peter took a deep breath, holding his shoulders.

“That’s it, sweetie, you’re so good for me, I’m gonna make you feel so good.” Tony whispered nonsensically in his ear, kissing his cheeks and neck gently, waiting for him to adjust. They stayed like that for a few seconds, until Peter started rocking his hips slowly, and Tony soon caught on. He grabbed his hips and slammed once inside him, hearing a scream coming from the younger man. He drew back and slowly built up a pace, slamming against him like there was no tomorrow. He moaned loudly, a mixture of pleasure and pain, Tony could tell, but instead of asking him to slow down, he pushed back against him just as hard, biting his neck.

Tony may have lost his mind somewhere along the way, pure instinct took over as he fucked into him with abandon, he heard his screams and moans and they made him hit harder, harder, and he thought he heard the younger man screaming just that, as he sank his nails into his shoulders and down his back, until he grabbed Tony’s ass and pulled him closer, faster, harder –

“Oh – Oh, Mr. Stark – I –“ Peter rolled his eyes back and it took Tony the better part of a minute to realize that he was coming, and he hadn’t even touched his cock. Spurts of his warm, white come covered both of their chests and Tony could feel that some of it caught on his chin. The sight of Peter underneath him – debauched, utterly satisfied, ruined – was enough to bring Tony over the edge, the force of his orgasm was almost blinding, something that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He let himself fall on top of Peter, barely aware of the fact that he was maybe a little too heavy for that, but the younger man didn’t seem to mind, if the soft, barely there caresses on his back were anything to go by.

They were silent for several minutes, bodies cooling down and falling asleep, but Tony’s mind was wide awake. What had he done? Peter was supposed to be off limits for a number of reasons, so many he couldn’t even focus on a single one. He felt the young man sigh softly under him, his hands drawing circles on his back peacefully.

“This was nice,” he whispered and it triggered something in Tony, because, fuck, it was perfect. It was perfect, but it was a lie, wasn’t it? Peter wasn’t really into him. He was just – he was just a fucking –

“I really hope this was a free trial, ‘cause I don’t think I can afford you, kid.” The minute the words left his mouth, he felt the younger man go rigid beneath him. He quickly pushed at Tony’s shoulders, trying to raise his upper body and the older man easily rolled off of him to the side, resting his head on his clasped hands on the pillow.

“What are you insinuating?” Peter asked with a frown, suddenly appearing very uncomfortable, gathering the sheets around him to cover his exposed skin.

“I’m not insinuating anything, I’m just saying I don’t think I have enough money to pay for this very expensive meal.” He wiggled his eyebrows, smirking, pretending he wasn’t as affected by what happened as he was. Peter turned bright red, his mouth falling open, gaping like a fish.

“What – I –“ he stammered, frozen for a few seconds before he jumped into action and out of bed, taking the sheets with him as he looked for his clothes around the room. “I can’t believe you just said that, you fucking asshole! Fuck you!” He yelled towards the bed and Tony was a little surprised by his reaction.

“Chill, it was a joke.” He rolled his eyes, noticing that he young man was almost fully dressed by then, at least he had his pants and shirt on, his tie and jacket were draped over his arm as he looked for his shoes. When he turned back to Tony, his whole face was inhumanly red and soaked in tears, it made Tony’s heart clench. “Jesus, kid!”

“I’m not laughing, asshole!” He yelled again, marching towards the door without looking back. “You’re all the fucking same, bunch of assholes, what was I thinking? I’m so fucking stup– ” Tony couldn’t hear the rest of his rant because he slammed the door with so much force that the older man was pretty sure he felt the building shaking a little bit.

Well, fuck.

--*--

Two weeks later, when Tony stepped inside the lab, he had a whole plan figured out. After Peter left that night, he went through all five stages of admitting he had been an asshole – as was common for him, he usually went through those at least a few times a week.

So, first, he denied it.

“The kid is obviously overreacting, right? It was just a joke and, even if it wasn’t, well, I wouldn’t have been that far off from the truth.”

Then, he was angry.

“Fuck that kid, he had no right to react the way he did, who does he think he is, slamming the door like that, yelling at me, calling me names, all because of a stupid little joke? Fuck him.”

Then, he bargained.

“So, okay, maybe I was a little over the line, but I can fix it, right? It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

Then he felt a little sad, because, fuck, thinking back to their time together, the kid had never been anything but nice to him, he didn’t deserve that and Tony always fucked up with people, what was wrong with him?

Finally, he fully accepted it. He was definitely, irrevocably and undoubtedly an asshole. They had a nice time together, the kid was the best lay he had in fucking years, and sure, maybe he was with Norman for money or whatever, but what they did, what they shared that night – it felt pretty fucking real and Tony blew it.

So when he walked into the lab two weeks later, he had it all figured out. He would ask Peter to stay a little late, then, when everybody left, he would apologize to him sincerely and since he had a taste for expensive gifts, he even got him a gold bracelet, just as an “I’m sorry I was an asshole” gift, a peace offering.

The thing was, when he walked into the lab, Peter was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Mr. Parker?” He asked the closest lab tech and the young woman shrugged, uninterested.

“He quit a few weeks ago, I heard.” She mumbled, concentrated on the microscope in front of her, and Tony cursed under his breath, feeling even more guilty than before. Had the kid felt so offended that he decided to quit the team? That couldn’t be right, he was Norman’s boy, how would he justify that to him? He wouldn’t tell him about them, would he? Tony figured that if he had told Norman anything, he would have heard about it by then, but everything seemed normal and in order, other than Peter’s absence from the lab.

“He went back to being Mr. Osborn’s intern?” He asked just to clarify, maybe he could go talk to him after he was done in the lab for the day.

“No, he quit Oscorps.” She looked at him like he was asking dumb questions, like everyone should know that piece of information.

Tony did not expect that. His heart raced a little when he heard those words, for some reason. He thought he should be relieved, one less thing to worry about. With Peter gone, he wouldn’t need to worry about apologizing or Norman finding out about them. He didn’t need to worry about things getting weird in the lab or Peter trying to use it against him or something. But he wasn’t relieved. He was – what was he feeling? Whenever he thought about the possibility of not seeing Peter ever again, his heart clenched.

The engineer couldn’t understand what was going on inside him, he just needed to talk to Peter, fucking apologize, get him back on the team, make sure that they would still see each other every month, that they would still talk, and laugh together, and share a workbench so small their hips touched every now and again.

Which was why Tony found himself waiting at the main entrance of Columbia's Morningside Heights campus on Wednesday evening, probably looking suspicious as hell as he swept the crowd, looking for a familiar face. It was a long shot, but he new Peter had classes every afternoon and he knew at what time he was done most days. He guessed the young man would take a train at the subway station on 116th Street, so there he was, looking and waiting.

After almost two hours and no luck, Tony was ready to give up and leave when he saw him walking out, arms full of text books, a heavy looking backpack hanging from one shoulder. He was wearing reading glasses, baggy, ripped jeans, and a graphic t-shirt underneath an oversized gray hoodie and Tony realized he had never seen him like that, he was always well dressed at work and he only ever saw him in other two occasions: his dinner with Norman and at the gala.

Tony thought he looked even more beautiful like that, stripped off of all the fancy things that made him look like an expensive doll. He looked at ease and comfortable and Tony felt a weird desire to hold him. Fucking hold him. Not rip off his clothes and fuck him – well, that too – but to take him into his arms, pull him close and breathe into his his wild curls.

“Hey, Peter,” Tony called out loud enough for him to hear and as soon as his eyes made contact with the older man’s, his face turned red and his eyes widened before he dropped his gaze to the ground, picking up the pace to walk away from Tony. “Hey, hold on, kid, c’mon, I’m talking to you.” The engineer quickly followed, grabbing him by the arm and making him turn around.

“What do you want, what are you doing here?” He asked impatiently, looking around as if afraid to make a scene, there were a lot of people walking in and out of campus at that time.

“You quit Oscorps,” the older man stated, dumbly, and Peter stared at him as if he wanted to say just that. He waited to see if Tony would say anything more and he really meant to, but nothing else came out of his stupid mouth.

“Yeah, and?” He prompted, holding his books close to his chest defensively, getting ready for a fight, but Tony just shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“And now I don’t have any engineers on my team,” he offered, as kind of a joke, he thought, but again, Peter wasn’t laughing.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He rolled his eyes and tried to walk away, but Tony held him back again. “What the hell, don’t touch me!”

“Ok, sorry, I’m sorry.” He let go of his arm and raised both of his hands in a peace offering. “I’m trying to apologize here, I’m not very good at this.”

“Clearly,” Peter snarked, and Tony nodded.

“Right. Ok. I deserve that. Look, let me just –“ He wracked his brain for something to say, he really should have thought it through. The thing was, he thought Peter would be a little more… Compliant. He didn’t expect him to still be that pissed off after almost two weeks. “Let me treat you to dinner, how about that? So we can clear the air?”

“No, thanks,” Peter answered quickly and started to walk away again, heading to the subway station. Since grabbing him and trying to stop him didn’t seem like a good idea, Tony started walking alongside him.

“Hey, c’mon, don’t be so stubborn, I’m just trying to apologize here,” he insisted, attracting Peter’s impatient gaze, as he still tried to balance all the books in his arms.

“You’re forgiven, is that what you wanna hear?” He snapped, and Tony was taken aback by the anger and hurt in his eyes. “There you go. You’re absolved! Goodbye now.” Again, he tried to leave the older man behind, but Tony didn’t let him.

“Hey, kid, don’t be so difficult, I just--”

“Tony!” Weirdly enough, after everything they’d done, that was the first time the younger man called him by his first name and even if the situation was less than ideal, it still sent a shiver down his spine. The boy stopped walking to look at him dead in the eye. “You called me a whore, now you’re asking me to dinner! What am I supposed to think here? I’m not for sale, I’m sorry if I misled you, go bother someone else.”

“Peter, I’m sincerely, honest to God, just trying to apologize here. I know I was an asshole and you didn’t deserve to be treated like that, nobody does, I’m sorry, I was way out of line. I just wanna take you to dinner because I think you’re a good kid, I know you enjoyed working with me and you looked up to me somehow, so I just wanna make it up to you, ok? I promise, nothing else. I just don’t want you to have the wrong impression of me. I’m a good guy, I’m just kind of an asshole sometimes.” Tony tried to convey all his honesty through his eyes, which made Peter deflate a little bit. The young man stared at him for a few seconds with a frown on his forehead, before he sighed, rolling his eyes.

“You’re very annoying,” he said, matter-of-factly, and the older man nodded.

“I’m known to be quite annoying, yeah,” he admitted, putting on his best pleading face, puppy eyes and all. “Let me make it up to you,” he insisted, and Peter rolled his eyes and sighed in resignation.

“Fine, dinner. Not tonight, though, I have work.” Tony cheered on the inside – and a little on the outside – but the younger man kept a straight face.

“Whenever you’re free.” Peter thought for a second and it almost seemed like he was regretting it already.

“Tomorrow, then. You can pick me up here. And I’ll choose the restaurant.” He stuck up his nose, defiantly, and Tony just spread his arms in surrender.

“Fair enough.”

So Tony decided to be a perfect gentleman, he put on a nice suit, he bought some flowers and took the gold “I’m sorry I was a jerk” bracelet with him when he went to pick Peter up. He was sure he would pick the most expensive restaurant in New York as payback and maybe he would order the most expensive things on the menu and, yeah, Tony knew he was really stupid if he were to comply, but, apparently, he wasn’t as smart as he once thought. And apparently he wasn’t immune to cute boys who knew how to play their cards right. So, yeah, maybe he fell right into Peter’s web in the end and maybe he wasn’t too upset about it. He could afford to spend a few dollars on him, have a good meal, smart conversations, and then move on. Because that’s what it was, right? Just him needing closure, if nothing else.

Except, when he parked his car, Peter was standing on the sidewalk in plain blue jeans and a cheap gray sweater and he looked thoroughly amused by Tony’s outfit when he got out of the car to get the door for him. He offered him the flowers and the boy was even more amused, a small chuckle leaving his lips when he read the “I’m sorry I was a jerk” card. Tony decided not to give him the bracelet after all, didn’t seem like a good idea by the looks of it.

“Where do you think we’re going?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, stopping in front of Tony before he got in the car.

“I was thinking a three-star Michellin restaurant?” The older man frowned and the boy snorted, apparently very amused.

“Yeah, and how in the hell would I afford to eat there, Mr. Stark?” He cocked his head to the side with feigned curiosity and Tony frowned.

“Afford? What – no, I’m buying! This is an ‘I’m sorry’ dinner. Besides, I invited you, it’s only polite.” He argued, but the boy quickly shook his head.

“You’ve apologized enough.” He gestured to the flowers. “Besides, I’m sorry, but I’m a little skeptical about gratuitous generosity at the moment, so we’re just gonna get some cheap pizza if that’s ok with you.” He shrugged, pointing in the general direction of the pizza place he was probably planning to go.

“What? Peter, come on. At least –“

“I only agreed to come if you let me choose the restaurant, so it’s either this or I’m heading back home.” He threatened to turn away and Tony jumped to stop him.

“No, no, sorry, you’re right. It’s your pick.” He opened the door to the passenger seat before Peter could change his mind and leave.

They got inside the car and Tony followed the young man’s instructions to the pizza joint, it wasn’t far from campus and was mostly empty when they got there. It was really not the sort of place that Tony went to anymore, but he couldn’t deny that was exactly the kind of restaurant he could afford when he was 19 at MIT. He was still a little confused by Peter’s choice of restaurant, not really sure if it was all a game, a plot to get back at him, but he seemed honest when he said he wanted to pay for his half.

“Maybe lose the jacket? And the tie?” He suggested with an amused smile from beside him when they parked the car and Tony chuckled slightly, doing just that and undoing the first three buttons of his shirt, rolling up the sleeves as well. “Much better.”

When they got inside the restaurant, Peter seemed to know the waiters, they sat at a table in the far back and ordered their drinks. They didn’t even have wine. A pizza place that didn’t serve wine, what even was that madness.

“So, you come here a lot? Everyone seems to know you around here.” Tony tried to start some amicable conversation and, surprisingly, Peter was receptive.

“I used to work here, actually. Before Oscorps.” He smiled fondly as he looked around, like he had some good memories there.

“Oh, cool.” Again, he was surprised by the boy’s story, Tony always assumed that he had an easy life. “Did I – was it because of me? The reason you quit?” He asked with a wince and Peter raised a brow, amused.

“Don’t be so self-important, it had nothing to do with you,” he rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, so Tony thought maybe he wasn’t that mad anymore. He sure seemed a lot calmer than the last time they met. “You’re a jerk, but I’ve dealt with worse.” Tony snorted, he couldn’t even be mad, Peter was just stating facts. He was a little curious to know what led him to quit his job, if it wasn’t Tony, and suddenly remembered how upset he was when they left the party. He didn’t think it would be a good idea to ask, though, they were just getting back on good terms.

“So, what are you doing now that you quit Oscorps?” Tony cocked his head to the side and the boy shrugged, playing with his paper napkin.

“Back to waiting tables and making coffee.” He smiled, he didn’t seem upset by the turn of events, which was… unexpected? It was just so odd. Tony had this idea that Peter liked to live that expensive lifestyle he had with Osborn, wasn’t that the whole point of being with him? His confusion must have shown on his face, because Peter chuckled, furrowing his brow. “What?”

“Nothing, I just –” He shook his head and gave up in the middle of the sentence.

“What, you thought I’d find another rich dude or something?” He creased his brow, looking genuinely confused, not mad. “Wait, do you actually think I’m an escort?” He asked as an afterthought, and Tony could deny it, but he didn’t think he could make it believable anyway.

“Not exactly, but – something like that, yeah,” He admitted, scratching the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed for the first time in a long time, and braced himself for the explosion, but Peter just showed him a sad little smile.

“You thought I was with him for his money,” he stated and Tony winced, because when Peter said it out loud, when those words came out of his mouth, they sounded so wrong. Like they could never be true. “It’s okay, I guess he thought that, too, and so did everyone else. My coworkers, the press, even some of my friends,” he scoffed, folding his napkin in half just to have something to do with his hands. “I guess I’m just a stupid kid who watched way too many Disney princess movies growing up. I blame my aunt, honestly.” He tried to joke and Tony shook his head.

“I shouldn’t have judged you, it wasn’t my place. I just thought it was so odd for a guy like you to be with a guy like him.” Such a beautiful, brilliant, young man like you deserved so much better than him, was what Toy didn’t dare to say.

“I loved him,” he said and it shouldn’t have stung, it shouldn’t have made Tony’s stomach twist and turn, and his heart clench, but it did. It fucking did. “Or I thought I did. Turns out I got it all wrong. I thought we were going somewhere, but he wasn’t really serious about me, which became very clear when he decided not to take me to the gala, so.” He blushed slightly and dropped his eyes to the table, still folding the napkin until it was impossible to keep folding.

“Yeah, but you still came. Why?” Tony insisted, because he really wanted to figure him out, he needed to, because Peter wasn’t who he thought he was, he wasn’t that person Tony was so quick to judge and he needed to know who he was, after all. Because – he just needed to.

“I guess I – I just thought... He would regret it or something, you know. Once he saw me.” He gave a self-deprecatory laugh, rubbing a hand across his forehead as if trying to physically erase something from his mind. “Like… A stupid rom-com or something, you know. Like, the happy ending scene. Whatever. It’s stupid.” He ran a hand through his hair, blushing even harder. “Again, I blame my aunt, she was the one who made me watch all these stupid movies.”

Tony wanted to say it wasn’t his fault that everybody else was fucked up and couldn’t see what an amazing person he was, but the waiter chose that moment to interrupt them with their food, which was good, because Peter perked up and actually looked excited, rubbing his hands together and looking at Tony expectantly.

“Try it, tell me if it’s not the best pizza you’ve ever had in your life.” Tony smiled at his excitement and grabbed a piece of the cheap pizza. As expected, it tasted like garbage, but he wouldn’t tell Peter that, obviously.

“Sorry, kid, it’s not. But I’m forty-five and I’ve been to Italy, so don’t look so bummed.” Peter deflated slightly, grabbing a piece of his own and taking a huge bite out of it, like it was the best meal ever.

“Fine then, the best pizza in New York?” He compromised and Tony was a hundred percent sure it was most definitely not the best pizza in New York, but –

“I’ll give you that.” He conceded and Peter beamed.

“I’ll take it.”

They fell into an easy conversation about engineering and about Peter’s expectations for the future, which ended up turning into a conversation about what Tony did after college. The older man told him about all the steps he took to get where he was, working for other companies, having his ideas stolen, not getting credit for his work, quitting multiple jobs, almost going bankrupt trying to get Stark Industries off the ground and then finally being in a comfortable place in his professional life at 45 – better late than never.

“I think it’s amazing how you managed to turn your life around, you know. It’s really inspiring.” Peter seemed truly moved by Tony’s story, and the older man knew it was quite impressive, but he just shrugged it off.

“Yeah, boo-hoo, but now that you know my sob story, you have to tell me yours.” He took another bite of the terrible pizza and decided that sometime after the third slice, it became almost edible. Key-word: almost.

“Well, there’s not much to say and it’s definitely not as interesting or as successful as yours, but let’s see. My parents died when I was really young, I think I was around four – I’m ashamed to say I don’t really remember them. I still have their pictures, but I just – you know.” Peter shrugged and, yeah, Tony knew. After his mom died, he couldn’t look at pictures of her for years; at the same time that he wanted to remember her, he kind of wanted to forget. “I was raised by my aunt May and uncle Ben, but he was killed in a mugging when I was ten. Fuck, my life story is such a downer, are you sure you wanna hear it?” He chuckled, running a hand through his hair, and Tony smiled softly.

“As long as you wanna tell it, kid.” Peter took a deep breath, as if considering if he actually wanted to tell that story, but finally seemed to decide to go on.

“So, my aunt May was a nurse, she struggled to make ends meet, but she was just – amazing, you know? She was like a mother to me, she never left me wanting for anything, specially when it came to my education, which was how I was able to get into college so early. Anyway, she passed away almost two years ago from a stomach cancer. So… It’s just me now. I’m the last Parker standing.” He smiled sadly, dropping his gaze to stare at the slice of uneaten pizza in his plate.

“Fuck, that’s rough, kid. But hey, if it’s any consolation, I’m also the last Stark standing. Maybe we should start a club or something,” he joked to try to lighten up the mood and the young man giggled, looking back at him with a smile.

“Like, the Parker-Stark Lonely Orphans Club?” He asked cheekily and Tony laughed. “Anyway, a year ago I got into Oscorps’s internship program, which was a dream come true, but then I screwed it up by sleeping with the boss, because I’m an idiot. The end.” He snorted and, again, Tony was a little surprised to learn that Peter got the internship before he met Norman, but at that point, it wasn’t much of a shock, he should have seen it coming.

“So, can I ask what happened? Between you and Norman? What made you quit?” Tony asked carefully. As the night went on, he felt like he and Peter were getting more comfortable with each other, more comfortable than they could ever be all those months before, when Tony made such an effort to despise him.

“Ugh, it’s… Well, it’s embarrassing.” It was barely a whisper. Peter’s cheeks were bright red and he wouldn’t meet Tony gaze.

“It’s okay, you don't have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He reassured him, feeling confident enough to place a hand on top of his on the table. Peter stared at them for a few seconds, before looking up at him.

“It’s… Something he did at the party. He kept pushing me to this guy, you know. Some business partner or whatever. And I didn’t quite understand what he was trying to accomplish, but then I went to the bathroom and this guy followed me there and he – he tried – to kiss me. And to touch me.” He blushed, gaze fixed on the table between them once again. Tony tightened his grip on his hand. “When I pushed him away he said something about Norman not knowing how to teach his whores good manners. When I tried to talk to Norman – he said I owed him.” He frowned, lifting his eyes to look at him. “For all the expensive gifts, and nice restaurants, and everything he did for me. He said it was the least I could do.” He scoffed, but his cheeks were pink, like maybe some part of him believed that – believed that while he thought he was dating someone he loved, he was actually whoring himself out to him.

“That’s why you were so upset at the party,” he whispered, realizing what a massive jerk he’d been after that. The kid must have been feeling like shit that day. Used and expendable and lost. And then Tony treated him like a fucking cheap hooker. “Peter… I’m so sorry for that night, I didn’t –“

“It’s okay, I’m fine now. Don’t get me wrong, it was a total dick move, but I already knew you were kind of a dick, so no alarms, no surprises.” He smirked, trying to lighten the mood, but nothing he could say could ever absolve Tony of what he’d done, of the harm he’d caused him that night. Fuck, if he was Peter, he would never have talked to him again, let alone agreed to dinner. His behavior the previous night suddenly made perfect sense. “I quit the next day, put his stupid gifts in a box and sent it to the tower, he can choke on them for all that I care.” He shrugged, trying to appear non-nonchalant, but Tony knew the whole thing must still fucking hurt, it had only been two weeks.

“I sincerely hope he does,” Tony offered and Peter laughed out loud, throwing his head back in delight.

When they walked to the car at the end of the night, Tony could feel that something had changed between them. He felt like all that time he knew Peter he had been missing a huge chunk of information, which made all the difference in the world. He could see Peter now, the real him. The ride to his place was taken in comfortable silence and when Tony parked his car, neither of them moved. The older man turned towards the younger one and licked his lips. He knew the answer to the question he was gonna ask, he knew he deserved it, but still –

“Can I get you number?” It wasn’t part of the plan. The plan was to apologize, show the kid a good time as a way of making it up to him for the terrible things he said and move on. Go back to work, go back to his life, but now – now he was stuck. Looking at Peter and seeing a whole new person. Someone he wanted to get to know more, but knew he didn’t deserve.

“Oh, I don’t know, do you think you can afford it?” Peter teased, and Tony actually blushed, embarrassed to remember how much of a dick he’d been.

“Ugh, I said I was sorry,” he mumbled, rubbing a hand across his face, only to hear Peter’s delighted chuckle.

“I’m just kidding, don’t worry. But I don’t think It’s a good idea, Tony.” He bit his lower lip and Tony nodded to himself, because, yeah, he knew it wasn’t. It shouldn’t be. Because Peter deserved so much better than him. “But this was nice. Thank you for caring enough to apologize.”

“It was the least I could do.” He gave him a small smile and was taken by surprised when the young man unceremoniously leaned in and kissed him. Tony didn’t waste any time burying his hand in his hair, pulling him impossibly close as their lips brushed softly and tongues met in a sweet embrace. The young man pulled away after just a few seconds, though, and Tony didn’t even have the courage to open his eyes and acknowledge it was over. “Are you sure this isn’t a good idea? Because it sure tastes like a great fucking idea. I would know, I have great ideas all the time, ask anyone.” Tony whispered and Peter laughed, his face was still so close the older man could feel his breath on his lips.

“Goodbye, Tony. Good luck with your company,” he smiled, as he opened to door to get out of the car.

“I’ll miss you on my team.” Which was to say, I’ll miss you. Plain and simple.

“I’m sure you’ll find a replacement in no time.” I won’t, I don’t want to. I want you. “Gotta go now, I have work in the morning. Bye!” He got out and closed the door behind him, waving one last time before he walked away.

“Goodbye, Peter,” he whispered to the empty car, hands clutching the steering-wheel as he watched the boy disappear into the building.

--*--

Working at Oscorps was not the same without Peter. First, because he was actually a very good intern who helped a lot with every single task Tony assigned him. Second, because even though he hadn’t noticed it before, he always looked forward to talking to him. To learning those tiny little pieces of information the boy let escape through his lips once in a while, only to blush profusely and apologize seconds later.

Still, he kept going. Norman never bothered him, which was nice, and as the remaining months passed, Tony’s name became more and more recognizable, he closed so many deals over the course of that year, he was able to more than double his team and the office and lab they used to work got way too small for them. He started looking for some other place to go and the more he thought about it, more sense it made to move SI headquarters to California. Most of his partners were there and he would also be closer to his suppliers and many other business opportunities.

So after talking to Pepper, Nat, Rhodey, Happy and Bruce – “the original six”, as they liked to call themselves, including Tony –, he decided to move right after his contract with Oscorps was done in December. Those last few months were crazy and got crazier when B.A.R.F. was finally announced to the public. Both the product and the technology behind it sent Stark Industries to a whole other level, their stocks skyrocketed and Tony literately became the richest man in New York overnight, even richer than Norman – and that was saying something.

Which was why, when December rolled around and Osborn invited him to dinner to discuss the possibility of renewing the contract and he showed up with some supermodel hanging off his arm, he couldn’t help but think of the first time he was in that same situation. He remembered how nervous he was before the dinner, how excited he felt when they closed the deal and how gorgeous Peter looked that night. But he remembered, specially, what Osborn did to the younger man months after that. How he’d treated him, what he’d said to him.

“So, what do you say, Stark? Wanna be partners for five more years?” Osborn’s smile was kind of creepy, he hadn’t noticed it before. He offered him a hand and Tony stared at it for what felt like hours, although it was probably only a few seconds. It was great fucking deal, way better than the one he had before, but –

“You know what, Norman?” He smiled to himself and took a deep breath, wishing he was wearing his smart glasses so he could record his reaction. “Fuck you.” He beamed, standing up from his chair, admiring the expression of shock and horror on the older man’s face. He buttoned his suit jacket and, still smiling like a madman, left the restaurant like he owned the place – which he could, if he wanted.

On his last night in New York, he decided to look for Peter. He didn’t want to pressure him or anything, but they hadn’t seen each other in almost six months, so maybe something might have changed for him. Tony still couldn’t get him out of his head, each day that passed he wished he’d done things differently, so fucking differently.

He wished he’d been nicer, from day one. He wished he had lived up to his expectations, his hero worship. He wished he could have been a decent human being, a shoulder to cry on that night he was so vulnerable and broken. He wished he could have wooed him and gotten him to fall in love with him, the way he’d fallen for him.

He wanted a second chance, he really did, but when he knocked on the door of the apartment the boy used to live, the place where Tony had said goodbye to him all those months ago, some stoned college kid answered the door. When he asked about Peter, the boy just shrugged.

“He moved away a while ago, dude. Got a job somewhere or something.”

So that was it. Tony didn’t have his number and Peter wasn’t on social media – at least Jarvis couldn’t find him, and he sure as hell looked. So he gathered the last of his stuff and left New York for good, mind wandering to those few moments he’d spent with Peter, thinking how different things could have been if he hadn’t been so quick to judge.

No point crying over spilled milk.

Stark Industries flourished in L.A. All of Tony’s crazy, genius ideas were funded, so he finally finished his arc reactor project – something he’d started as a teen, but didn’t have the resources to continue – and started a line of electronics – computers, cellphones, tablets, all the good stuff. After the first couple of months, he bought a mansion in Malibu, just because he could, and finally felt like his life was heading in the right direction.

Still, it felt like there was a Peter-shaped whole in it, which was insane, they’d only known each other for a little over five months, it made no sense how much he missed him, they hadn’t seen each other in almost a year, and still there were nights he could fucking smell Peter’s scent on his sheets – sheets he’d never even laid on. Could feel his soft skin under his fingertips as he hugged his pillow close to his chest, the way he wished he’d held him that night when he stormed off, humiliated and hurt. Those nights he couldn’t sleep, could only stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out time travel, just so he could go back and fix things.

Once he was settled in California, he was invited to give lectures in universities all over the country. MIT was first, then NYU, Stanford, Yale, UCLA and, finally, Caltech in late November. His lectures were usually about the arc reactor, clean energy was in fashion, everybody was talking about it, and the fact that he figured out cold nuclear fusion was still a very hot topic.

It was still early in the evening when he finished his lecture at Caltech, a few students stayed behind to ask him questions or just talk for a bit, Tony had become sort of a celebrity for nerds, and he didn’t mind staying a little late talking to those starry-eyed kids, so it was already dark out when he was done. When he thought he was alone, he started gathering his things, thinking of somewhere he could eat in Pasadena before he headed back to Malibu, when he heard it. That sweet, unmistakable voice.

“That was a hell of a lecture.” Tony turned around slowly, almost afraid to be wrong, but there was no way he’d be. Peter was there, staring back at him, standing by the door with his arms crossed over his chest and a slight blush on his cheeks. “Hey. Long time, no see.”

“You ran away from me, kid.” He breathed out, letting his hands fall to his sides, even though they itched to touch, his legs were shaking with desire to run to the younger man, but he stood still, afraid that if he moved, the spell would be broken and he would realize that Peter was just an illusion.

“That’s a big ego you got there if you think I’d make such a dramatic life change just for you, old man.” He stepped into the room slowly, until he was standing right in front of Tony, close enough to touch, but neither of them did. “I’m getting my Masters here. I heard you were coming for a lecture.”

“So you came by to say hi?” Tony cocked his head to the side and Peter chuckled, nodding.

“Yes. Hi.” He perched himself on the desk Tony was using during his lecture and it was the older man’s turn to move to stand in front of him.

“Hi.” He smiled, stepping closer, paying attention to see if the young man was in any way uncomfortable by his actions, but he didn’t even flinch.

“So, I heard you ditched Norman.” He crossed his arms over his chest again, a small smile on his lips.

“I believe my exact words were ‘fuck you’, actually.” That made Peter laugh, throwing his head back and exposing his long throat. “I missed you kid.”

“Couldn’t find an intern to make you coffee and fawn over you while you were at Oscorps?” He jabbed a finger in his chest and Tony caught it in his hand.

“Couldn’t find you. Anywhere. And I looked.” He confessed, not letting go of his hand, not looking away from his eyes. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you and all the things I didn’t say.”

“Such as?” Peter asked coyly, biting his lower lip as he looked at Tony from under his eyelashes.

“I’ll miss you. Don’t go. Give me a chance. I’ll make this work. I’m in love with you. Things like that, you know.” He didn’t care that he was putting his heart on the line, he couldn’t choke on those words anymore, and if that was the last chance he ever got to say them, at least he could sleep peacefully at night. Peter blushed deeply, lips parted in shock, but then his face stretched in a slow, lazy smile, eyes focused on Tony’s.

“Can I buy you coffee?” He asked quietly, blinking slowly, and the older man shrugged, pretending to consider it.

“Depends. Can I buy you dinner? And don’t you dare ask if I can afford it.” He closed the distance between them as Peter laughed out loud, head thrown back in delight.

“I was just gonna say yes,” he promised, as he placed his hands on Tony’s shoulders, allowing him to come stand in between his legs. “Which is something I regretted not saying.” He confessed. “So, coffee first?”

“Yeah, coffee first.” Tony leaned down to kiss his lips, and they tasted so familiar, so right, and he knew it was crazy, because they shouldn’t, they were together for such a short time and Tony wasn’t a fucking teenager, he was a grown man, and he didn’t know how in the fuck he fell in love so hard and so fast, but he did. “It’s so good to see you.” He stole yet another kiss from him and felt the younger man’s lips stretching in a smile under his. Suddenly, he was reminded of a conversation they’d had over a year earlier. “So, do you think this is the happy ending scene in our movie or what?” He asked a beaming Peter, who pretended to examine his face carefully, before answering with a grin.

“I guess we’ll see.”

#starker #ironspider #peter parker x tony stark #sugar baby au

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