#its complicated whstever
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Writing dialogue is really more my strong suit and I tend love writing it in general but currently my favorite dialogue I'm working on is the little work gossip between Juliette, Amber, Kori, and Shauna (their coworker, kind of a supplemental oc) at CTU about their crushes/relationships at the lunch break table. Juliette gushing about how Jack refused to let her go out as a field medic bc she means too much for him to risk her life, Amber being shy about her time with George until Juliette and Kori bother her so much that she gives them too much detail, Kori complaining that she doesn't know how to let Michelle and Tony know she wants to be their open minded third, and Shauna is happily married so she's just soaking in all the information. They're like high school girls giggling and kicking their feet except they work in a medical clinic/lab for an important government organization and their crushes rank much higher than them in said organization
#my ocs#juliette chrysler#amber colt#kori shannon#shauna mcvicker#(she gets her own tag now i guess)#v: the longest days of my life#it takes place in an au thats like after s2 but before the years before s3#george is still director and alive i also granted tony mercy and made him live#so the person who took george's place was a random agent who accompanied him to the warehouse#and he got exposed to radiation instead and thus flew the bomb to the desert#its complicated whstever
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i am aroace!!!!!!! yayyy!!!!
#and wellll other complicated things going on but idc#i said this already i think but thinking sbt it again. feeelssss nice to accept rlly#stillneed boyfriend tho. in like the vsguest most fictional imaginary terms possible#i cld probsbly find a billion microlabels but i kinda dont careee it is too stressful. im just arogay wgaf#nice kinda being more accepting of likeeee things changing with how i view my own gender and sexuality etc. it used to rlly stress me out#but now its likeee ok whstever. i guess i sm a person now.#YAY!!!!!!!
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keeping myself alive and unharmed rn literally feels like in middle school p.e having to do the fitness testing and being instructed on doing whatever that exercise is where someone holds your feet while u sit up..sit ups??? is it sit ups? idk but its like that. like 6 sit ups in when your neck starts to burn and your ears ring and you would rather literally be anywhere else in the universe than doing sit ups in p.e bc it hurts so bad. or maybe i was just a very out of shape 12 yr old
#is this universal. it was worse than the pacer test for me#actually not rly lol the pacer test was horrifying as a kid w very bad and untreated asthma#man i remember doing p.e and just suffering more than i can describe and thinking abt how one day i would never have to take p.e again#and now im there#lets all just have a moment of deep gratitude for that. honestly. im feeling it in my heart rn#bc nothing was more freaking miserable than that. jesus#anyways yeah thats what it feels like lately trying not to kms or [redacted]#its like physical labor#i feel bad not being able to be my usual self and entertain ppl and like be there for ppl and be a good listener like i normally am#i just cant focus on literally anything that isnt self preservation rn its like so bad. like its so bad. and it just gets worse. everyday#it gets harder everyday#and no one can help#the ppl that ppl might think would help honestly just make it worse or more complicated#its like digging myself out of this hole im in would be so much work that it would rly truly be easier to kms#and ppl say kms is the easy way out or whstever but its not easy. its like super scary and difficult. its a total denial of instinct#its one of the hardest things i can imagine..and itd still be easier than trying to turn my life into something worth living#its not just pessimism or smth its so real. im very resilient and ive always just persevered in spite of everything#but like its so hard and no one can help. the ppl that can help wont..and the ppl that rly want to cant. and i cant do it myself#so yeah my story
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