#its been so long! its insane its never been mentioned again! after the lightening strike? chris leaving?

[jacobglaser]

Breaking into the 911 writers houses and begging them to remember the will exists before I start throwing hands.

[9r7g5h]

Remember All - P3

Fandom: Xena: Warrior Princess

Overall Rating: T+ (Rating subject to change); Chapter Rating: K  

Genre: General

Summary:   Given another chance, left with her memories of their first time through, Gabrielle knows there’s only one option for her- let Xena live. Whatever she had to do, whatever she had to change to make sure that would happen, Gabrielle was willing to do it.

Words: 2,821

AN: Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately. I moved into my own apartment, and between getting the old one packed and the new one set up, it’s been busy. But I’m all good to go (almost, just need to do a final cleaning) in my new place! :D So I’ll have plenty of time to write and stuff. Sorry this chapter is a bit short- again, I’ve been busy, plus this was just a good stopping point, I felt. I hope you guys enjoy! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Xena. 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, ???

They saved Ares’ sword; it was harder this time, Xena unable to pretend to pass as Callisto. But she still fought her way onto the ship, convincing the other warlords she was just as ready to take over as the goddess of war as any of them. It was almost impossible for Gabrielle to keep her secret- in the other world she had finally learned how to control her anger, how to push away her fear and focus in on a battle, skills this world's Gabrielle wouldn't have. So she pretended, pretended to get irrationally angry over every little slight, doing her best to keep up the ruse.

Not that it mattered, because Ares knew. Of course he knew; all the gods on Olympus did to some extent, even if none of the mortals realized they were reliving the lives they had already lived once.

"Zeus forced us to swear, on penalty of death, that we wouldn't interfere," Ares muttered that first night, his words half slurred from drink but his eyes clear. "The Fates decreed that you had to have your chance. Don't waste it, blondie, or else she's dead."

He didn't know, exactly, what the other life had been like, a little fact Ares let slip later into the night. None of them did. They just had a vague sense of deja vu, as if they had already made the choices that were to come. And some things remained from that other life, just buried in their subconscious- Ares made an offhanded comment about her sais, and how he couldn't wait for her to start killing again, though confusion clouded his features as he wondered at the words he hadn’t meant to speak. Little things that stuck, here and there, but no big picture to put them into.

Gabrielle was almost glad. Because she had her chance, and with even the gods unable to interfere for fear of making the world that much worse than the last had been? Nothing could stop her.

They saved Ares' sword after managing to trick Sisyphus into letting them compete, and he made no mention of what he had revealed, though his parting gaze lingered on her for a moment longer than it had the last time.

He'd be trouble, there was no question about that. But for now, Gabrielle smiled up at Xena, remembering the way this had all ended last time- with brown eyes returning her grin instead of blue, a promise to love her no matter what she looked like, and a sinking in her stomach as Gabrielle fought for it not to be a lie until the winds shifted and things were once again ok.

But this time there was no lie, no promise to be made, and instead they just walked along the beach in silence, watching as Joxer tried to do some foolish Joxer thing that just made them laugh.

It was calm, for a while. Even with saving Solstice and stopping a war through a beauty pageant (something Gabrielle actually took a moment to enjoy, even if the kiss was enough to start a spark of jealousy in her stomach), things were calm. There were fights, sure, bandits that tried to catch them off guard, tried to collect the bounty on Xena's head, but that was just life. That was amazingly normal for them, a common occurrence that barely rated mention.

They met Hercules and Iolaus, spent a night catching up and trading stories, and that's when they found out- Hera had brought Callisto back, Hercules had trapped her, and she was immortal, forever stuck in her darkness. Hercules tells them the story Callisto told him: Xena's army, the fire, watching her mother and sister scream as they fell to the heat and the smoke, their bodies too charred for any kind of recognition. He says it all without accusation, for what's past is past, but still it brings a darkness to Xena's gaze.

It's a darkness that lightens when the topic shifts, changing to how Iolaus had to convince Aphrodite to let people fall in love again, and for a little bit she believes it's all ok.

Until they arrive at Cirra.

She hadn't been paying attention. She had gotten lost in the comfort of it all, had forgotten to count the days, weeks, months that had passed since she had restarted this life. Not that it mattered, since things were already off- her wounds had taken them off the schedule she remembered, leaving her semi-floundering whenever they reached a different story from the ones she remembered telling. Stories she already had written down, that she just shifted and edited when a new detail arose from her changes, scratching out sections and putting the new truth before copying it all to a new, clean scroll.

But she tried to keep track, tried to sort through her memories and the life she had already lived to figure out where things could change, where she could shift the pattern of events that would give the world its new lease.

And this? This was a big one.

She still let herself get captured- there were innocent people there, women and children and old men, and Gabrielle can live with a lot of things, but their deaths aren’t one of them. So she gets captured, and when Xena shows up to save her, she fights alongside her, driving off warrior after warrior as the villagers flee. And when that giant of a man steps forward, going after the child to distract Xena as his brother in arms climbs the tree, Gabrielle's ready.

Ready to tackle the child, rolling away from the warrior, sending him stumbling as his swing met no resistance. Ready to scramble to safety before he can recover, giving Xena the moment she needed to embed her sword into his side, a painful wound in and of itself. Ready to scream as the rope was cut, sending Xena sprawling to the ground as the giant tree trunk sailed over her, just missing her head, instead finishing the battle with the warrior as he struggled to get upright, trying to find his footing so he could continue a fight he had so clearly lost.

Xena lived. She walked from that battle all but unscratched, a single knick her payment for the battle she had ended. She lived, and all Gabrielle can do is sigh in relief from her living. Because with Xena still alive, there's no need for the ambrosia. There's no need for Autolycus, no need for funeral pyres or for Valesca, no need for Callisto. No need to free Callisto, to turn her into a goddess, to eventually witness her death, and while her heart aches for Eve, Gabrielle pushes those thoughts aside. Xena is her goal, not Eve, and while she would always love the girl, if Callisto had to stay trapped for Xena to live, then so be it.

There might be another way- Ares had a soft spot for Callisto, he might be the "savior" she needed to play to get her godly powers, the powers that would eventually lead to her death and Eve's existence. But for now Gabrielle just whispered a small goodbye to their daughter and turned back to face the future.

Because she has to keep Xena alive this time, and if ensuring Eve never exists is the price she has to pay? It’s a sin she’ll gladly take upon her own soul to ensure she’s successful.

They still go to the Amazons- Ephiny as regent is the best option in any world, especially when the other is Velesca. And even without Xena’s body to drag behind Argo, Gabrielle missed them, longed for their company. She hadn’t spent enough time with the Amazons in their first life, had lost so many friends and sisters to wars she had been absent for, and that had hurt. It had hurt that she had never been able to say goodbye, had never been able to be the queen they had deserved, had disappointed so many of them. While she doubted she could do much, the Amazon’s lives so utterly separate from the adventures she and Xena were soon to face, she was hopeful. Hopeful that she could do some things to change the fates of her friends in some small way to make them better.  

Xena disapproved, at first, of the idea of her becoming Queen. It makes her that much more of a target, puts her in that much more danger- her concern almost made Gabrielle laugh. Because in this world Xena's still alive, and she has no idea what Gabrielle had been through, not in that other world. Gabrielle instead soothes her worry, telling her her plan of passing off the crown to Ephiny, allowing the Amazon to rule in her stead. A few days of rest, of relaxing (this time in joy, not in sorrow) while she learned what being Queen entailed, and they would be back on the road.

Xena agreed, though she kept her eyes trained on Velesca the entire time, as if she could feel her discontentment. When Gabrielle took the mask and put it on instead of handing it over, Velesca glances almost hesitantly over at Xena before making her challenge, this time with words instead of her knife.

And when Xena steps forward, prepared for Gabrielle to name her champion and begin the fight, Gabrielle instead says she'll fight her herself, much to the warrior's surprise.

"Are you insane, Gabrielle," Xena demanded in an angry hiss in her hut, watching as Gabrielle prepared herself for the fight. She'd chosen her staff, of course, the only weapon she technically knew how to use in this world, but was wrapping her hands and wrists much like Xena had once showed her. She was prepared for it to come to blows, and she knew where to strike- Velesca favored her left leg ever so slightly, a hint of a scar across her right thigh just where her skirt road up as she walked, and Gabrielle was sure a couple of punches to the area would bring her down. Bring Velesca down, let her get on top of her, and finish it all.

She knows Xena knows all of this, and she knows that Xena doesn't know that she knows. Because these are skills another Xena taught another Gabrielle, things she wouldn't learn for another two, almost three years in their original lives, and so Gabrielle just lets Xena rant.

"Velesca's a trained warrior, she's been in hundreds of battles, and she killed the last Queen. She won't hesitate to kill you too. Gabrielle, you can't fight her." Xena's almost desperate as she rants, as she tries to find some combination of words that will get Gabrielle to back down and claim her as her champion. “You need to-“

"Xena," Gabrielle said, her voice low, a little bit dangerous- enough to cause Xena to pause, even if the voice didn't make her step back like it did most people, both in the last world and the few times she had used it in this. But the almost startled look Xena gives her is enough to make a little part of Gabrielle happy; she’s more capable then Xena thinks, and she's about to show her. "Xena, these are my people. I have to be the one to fight for them.”

Like I'm fighting for you, Gabrielle thinks, but the words never leave her lips. They can't, not yet- maybe someday she can explain to Xena the other world, the second chance she was given, but not yet.

"Even if it means killing for them?" Xena's voice is a little less harsh but harder, almost worst as she stares at Gabrielle. Questioning, demanding, searching her face for the truth.

Gabrielle thinks about Ephiny, killed by the Romans. Thinks about Amarice, killed by the nomads to the north that had harried the Amazons there. Thinks about Helicon, about the women she had led into war on that beach who she had had to leave behind, only coming back later so they could be burned.

These were her people, and she had already killed for them, so many times over.

"I don't want to," Gabrielle said, the truth in her voice. If there was a way to not kill, to disarm and let live in such a way that they wouldn't pose a threat later on, then she would. She wanted to. "But if I must, I will." Again, the truth.

They part on that truth, Gabrielle walking from her tent before Xena can speak, the other woman only following to take her place around the ring. They both knew Xena would never let her die, that her chakram would soar and take Velesca's head before she could deal the killing blow, but between them there was only silence.

If anything was to change- if Xena was to stop seeing her as a child- then Gabrielle had to show her what she could do. At the very least a taste of it, a hint of the power within, to prove that she was more than Xena saw her. It would be a long while before they were equals, but the distance between them wasn’t quite so great as Xena thought. It was something Xena, stuck as she was in the protector roll, needed to realize- that while her help was always welcome, it wasn’t always necessary. Though it was good to have her close by, just in case.

Just in case Gabrielle, misled by her memories, overconfident in her abilities, had misjudged the situation.

But she hadn’t, and Xena’s assistance hadn’t been needed. Just like she had thought, Gabrielle had been able to handle herself, had handled herself against much worse, against many more people much more dangerous and cruel than Velesca, and Gabrielle had her on the ground before she could even think. It'd been easy- Velesca had underestimated her, believed her, as many people did, to be nothing more than the Warrior Princess' bed warmer; a weak, pretty little creature Xena kept around because it amused her. Velesca hadn't seen the glint in Gabrielle's eyes, hadn't noticed just how solid and firm her stance was, and in three moves, Velesca had been brought down.

The tip of Gabrielle's staff at her neck, just threatening to crush her windpipes if she gave her any reason to believe her a threat, Velesca begged for her mercy, and mercy Gabrielle gave. She slunk off, alone and hurt, to tend to her own wounds, and the Amazons had praised their new Queen.

They stayed for a few days, just because. They were in no rush, no hurry, and it was nice, being somewhere safe. Even with all her grumbling about being tied down longer than necessary, Xena enjoyed the break as well- she was popular with the kids, and could always be found with at least five or six little girls following her at any given moment, a fact that had her smiling whenever someone pointed out her little shadows. Little shadows she clearly showed off for, taking every opportunity to flip or throw her chakram, resulting in an excited babble of little voices. And it wasn't for too long, just long enough for Gabrielle to get everything in order for Ephiny to rule, things they had just kind of skimmed over the first time that, this time, Gabrielle took much more seriously.

It was just for a few days. But those few days had been enough.

They shared a hut, of course- even after her nightmares from the first time she had almost died faded, Xena had continued to spread out their sleeping furs right next to each other, glancing over every few times to make sure it was ok, to see if Gabrielle would protest. She never did, and they more often than not woke up curled around each other, warm and comfortable in each other's arms. Her injury from Callisto had made those nightmares resurface, and now there was no pretense; Gabrielle fell asleep in Xena's arms and woke up in them on the rare occasion when Xena stayed in bed, holding her close and reminding herself that Gabrielle was safe and alive. So they shared a hut, shared a large bed, and left their bags lying around wherever they had dropped them.

Bags that, one day, Xena had been going through to try and find one thing or another. Bags that had included Gabrielle's scrolls, all of the scrolls she had written over the months before Xena had even arrived, cataloging everything she could remember of their adventures and the scrolls she had rewritten while they had traveled together. Scrolls it had taken Xena five years to read that first life, scrolls Gabrielle had thought were safe.

Scrolls Xena, during that lazy afternoon, her initial search forgotten, began to read.