#its been on back burner and the solution is. leave it there. idk what my deal is and frankly i dont need to

[chimaerra]

actually, if one more person talks to me, i am going to figure out how to leave the country and never come back

[missmentelle]

Hello! So I’m having some boy problems. I’ve been having a crush on my guy friend and I ended up kissing him even though I’m dating my bf. I told my bf before that I was worried about this happening and now idk what’s going on with me. Its not that I don’t love my bf but I feel like my feelings for my friend is overshadowing my feelings for my bf. Idk if I’m actually just craving sex with another guy and his personality or if I’m falling out of love. Idk what solutions to come up with. Thanks!

I can’t tell you which boy you should be with - I don’t know either of them, and I don’t know you. You are the one that has to actually be in the relationship, and you are the only one who can decide which one you truly want to be with. What I can tell you, though, is that you need to make a decision quickly and stick to it. Unless all three of you have some kind of consenting non-monogamy agreement, what you’re doing right now is incredibly unfair to your friend, and it’s especially unfair to your boyfriend. There are few things that are more destructive to a person’s self-esteem and self-worth than having a partner who keeps them on the back burner while they try to decide if they want to be with someone else. You put your boyfriend in a position where he had had to live with the constant worry that you would cheat on him with your guy friend, and now you’ve actually done it. I’m sure that you didn’t intend for this to happen and that you didn’t mean to be cruel here, but nobody deserves to be made to feel like they are their partner’s second choice. It’s not fair for you to hold both of these men’s feelings hostage while you try to make up your mind about who you want more. I’m sure you were probably looking for advice about how to manage your own feelings, but to be honest, your feelings are no longer the priority here. At this point, the priority should be for you to try to resolve the situation as quickly as possible, in order to minimize the pain and hurt that you cause to both of them.

What matters is this situation is not which boy you choose. What matters is that you find a way to truly commit to the person you select, and stay true to your word. Unless you are in a consenting, ethical non-monogamy arrangement - which I suspect you are not, or this wouldn’t be an issue - there are clear boundaries and expectations to a relationship, and part of being in an adult relationship is learning how to stay inside those boundaries even when it’s difficult. That means staying within the boundaries even when you find yourself attracted to someone else. There will always be other people that you are attracted to, and whom you could potentially fall in love with; committing to your long-term partner does not mean that you are promising to never feel a spark with someone else. That’s not a thing anyone can promise. What you are promising your partner is that you won’t actively cultivate that spark with someone else, and that you will choose to stay with your partner instead. In the future, if there are issues within your relationships, you need to find ways of solving them that don’t involve betraying your partner’s trust, no matter who that partner may be. 

In the future, if you love your partner but you are bored sexually, that needs to be a conversation that you have with your partner - not something that you solve by sneaking around behind his back. Your partner deserves to have the opportunity to fix the issue with you, rather than having his trust betrayed. If you know that there is a person outside the relationship that you are developing feelings for, then you have the responsibility to either limit your contact with that person and prevent issues from arising, or you need to end your relationship with your partner before you explore a relationship with the other person. Again, I don’t think you necessarily set out to hurt people in this situation - I think you were just trying to figure out what you want. But the way you went about it wasn’t okay, and if nothing else, this situation has to be a chance for you to learn healthier relationship habits that help you avoid getting into this situation again. It is not fair for you to keep two separate people on the backburner while you wait to figure out which one is better. Leaving one partner to be with another is a risky move; staying with one partner is also risky, because you could potentially be missing out on someone you like better. The thing is, though, is that those are risks that you have take. Trying to minimize risk by keeping multiple options open for as long as possible is incredibly hurtful to the other people involved, and it’s important to consider not only your own feelings here, but theirs as well. 

If you decide to stay with your boyfriend, I think you need to come clean about the fact that you kissed your friend. If you really love him, then I think you owe him the chance to assess the situation with all of the facts and decide for himself if he even wants to stay in the relationship. This is a relationship where a risk of cheating clearly exists, and he deserves to know that and have the chance to make his own choices. He might decide that he doesn’t want to continue having a relationship with you at all, which is well within his rights, and which would simplify your decision-making process considerably. You could have an in-person conversation about what happened with your friend or you could write out what happened in a letter or email - it matters that this conversation happens, but it doesn’t really matter how. You don’t need to go into details about the incident with your friend. What you do need to go into detail about is how you will make this up to him and prevent the issue from arising again in the future. It’s not enough to say “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again”. You need to have a concrete action plan here. If you are in another situation where feelings start to develop for a male friend, you need to have a plan in place for how you are going to prevent that from turning into a cheating situation. Again, there’s no guarantee that he will forgive you, but if he does, you need to find ways to prevent a repeat of the past. 

If you aren’t able to come to a decision, it might also be best for you to decide that you can’t be with either boy right now. If you aren’t in a place where you can totally and completely commit to being with one boy and not be tempted to cheat with the other, it might be that you’re not really in a good place for a committed, long term relationship right now. If your main interest right now is having sex with other guys and exploring what else is out there, that’s completely okay, but that needs to happen in a way that doesn’t cause harm to someone who thinks you are committed to only them. Not causing harm needs to be the focus here, even if it means that you don’t get everything you want - having no relationship would be a better option right now than having two relationships with people who don’t want to be non-monogamous. I have been in a position where I was someone else’s second choice, and it chipped away at my self-worth every day; every passing moment that he didn’t choose me for good made me question myself, and think of all the ways that I might not be good enough for him. It’s not something that you’d want to put another human being through, especially if you care about them. 

Best of luck to all of you!

[idontmindanytime-blog]

The 13th Meta

Ok, so I haven’t seen many people talk about the post-it note on Mycroft’s fridge into too much detail

I know I’ve seen some speculation about how it represents the 13th episode, the one that Sherrinford is going to appear in. I don’t doubt this reading, but can’t it be only reason. That’s just too 4th wall break-y. So I did some research in 13 as a number and the implication of having a 13th something. 

Personally, to me, this looks like a message that someone left for Mycroft as warning (or a threat but Mycroft doesn’t act like it is so we can cross that idea out). Either Mycroft left it as a reminder for himself (also doubtful since he wouldn’t leave a reminder for himself hidden) or someone else left it for him to find. 

Let’s put a pin in that idea and move on to what I found. 

First of all, I would like to note that M is the 13th letter of the alphabet. So, this post-it note could have literally just said M. Not like we haven’t seen that yet or anything…

If you have read M-theory, you’ll know that these are Mycroft. So why would someone leave an “M” on his fridge, if that’s Mycroft’s thing? It could be Moriarty leaving him a warning, since his name also starts with “M”, but making it less obvious, but this idea is pretty OOC for Moriarty, so lets put that idea on the back burner. Really, it could be anyone in this goddamn show since nearly everyone’s name starts with “M”. It could also be a shout-out to M-theory itself but that is also too 4th wall break-y. No-ones name in particular should be a cause for Mycroft to need to call Sherrinford, so I’ve sorta hit the wall on this idea. If anyone else can expand on this idea, please do! For everything else in this meta, let’s say that any of the people involved in the “m” part of M-theory are applicable. 

How many of y’all went to church last Sunday? Well, the number 13 is rather important in the Bible. I’ve filtered out all the extra 13 nonsense, and I bring to you, the applicable “13″ mentions in the Bible. 

There were 13 guests at the Last Supper.  

So, considering Mycroft is just about to have dinner, Mycroft and the others in the show could be reaching a metaphorical last supper. This was when Jesus Christ announced to his apostles that he knows one of them will betray him to the Romans leading Jesus to captured and crucified. With Sherlock as Jesus Christ (proven to be a Christ-like figure in many metas based on dialogue, actions, and many others), and either Mary or Mycroft as Judas to be the one who betrays Sherlock. I would have been inclined to say that Mycroft would have been Judas before TST, but according to the events of TST, regardless of whether the events in TST are true or not, Sherlock trusted Mary and wanted to protect her. Narratively speaking, and since it’s on Mycroft’s fridge, it makes more sense that this is still about Mycroft betraying Sherlock. We know that Mycroft is under Moriarty’s thumb, which is not obvious to the general audience. However, Sherlock no doubt suspects it, and he most likely won’t condemn Mycroft for it either. He will most likely let whatever consequences Mycroft must deal with for his betrayal happen. 

It’s also fun to note that The Last Supper told by John is noted as the most confusing to read, but John understands Jesus’s identity the best aka he really understands the man. The Last Supper told by Mark was the least popular for a long time, but once people realized it was the most accurate (being the first gospel written about Jesus), its the most popular gospel. I’ll leave you to your deductions on this one ;)

There aren’t enough characters for the full 13, so theory doesn’t entirely work out, but there are too many parallels for me to pass this one up. This definitely helps set-up the next episodes in the series almost as a warning for betrayal to be exposed. There have been metas about Sherrinford being a brother that Sherlock or Mycroft (I’ve even read Mummy Holmes) betrayed, somewhat tying this in. I don’t know enough about Sherrinford in this series to really go anywhere else without extrapolating. We’ll just have to wait this one out.  

The 13th chapter of the Revelation is about Beasts and the Anti-christ

This one is just straight crack meta, but this chapter is about John fighting a horned (hmmmm who had horns on this show?) sea beast, a beast who attacks Christians, noted to be symbolic of the Romans (who forced people to believe in the Roman religion, and persecuted those who wouldn’t), and was powered by a dragon (who was Satan btw). Dragon-slayer line, anyone? And who are we supposed to associate with the devil? I also found out that the sea beast was seductive (”Suddenly, I’m Mr. Sex” anyone?) which is just hgaskgakjh why was that worth noting john

Anyways, John also fights an earth beast, but there isn’t interesting worth noting besides that he got power from the sea beast (aka he worships him aka he is his crony) and that his true identity is 666, making him actually the Anti-Christ.

So in summary, he married a seductive sea beast and they had an earth beast for a daughter. Fun. Actually, now that you mention it, what was the earth beast’s name?

Maybe not crack after all? Definitely worth consideration if you ask me. This doesn’t tie in with Sherrinford just being a brother, so for this one to work, Sherrinford would most likely be a plan/group of people to help John defeat the Sea Beast (but probably not the Earth Beast, I’m going to take a guess that John wouldn’t hurt his daughter.) From what we can tell, John is definitely more active in fighting Moriarty this season, and could literally be running the show.  

(Also real quick, the dragon appears 13 times in this chapter too so lol idk more fun facts)

Mother Mary’s life revolves around the number 13

There are too many examples to write here, you can google if you are truely curious, but Mary appears and disappears in places on the 13th day in tons of months, and its suspected that M is the 13th letter in honor of Mary beingthe 13th witness to Christ’s descent. Go to that link to read all the times 13 was important to Mary, but frankly, this theory is extremely unlikely since our Mary was not actually named Mary, and she’s hardly a virtuous mother (see above theory to see that she actually birthed the anti-christ or the devil himself). Just thought I’d bring this one up, because there is a parallel, and in the surface level of TST, Mary was someone that John and Sherlock trusted, putting her “on the side of the angels”. That’s obviously not true in the slightest, so we can put this one on the definitely-not-possible-theory list.

That’s all I have of interest for the Bible. Let’s move on to other features of interest. 

The 13th Tarot card is Death

So, this could be a fore-warning of Mycroft’s death. Its been speculated by many that Mycroft is going to die this season, particularly in TFP, which is also the 13th episode. So, if you don’t believe that Mycroft is going to die, then someone is. I don’t have too much else to say besides that this one doesn’t actually feel like too much of stretch and it definitely means someone is going to die in the 13th episode, TFP. My money is on Mycroft, considering he got the message, but this could be attributed as Mark, the writer of the episode, himself getting the message, so it could be anyone. 

Let’s talk about my favorite, that good gay shit. 

The 13th Street LGBT Center aka one of the first LGBT safe spaces

According to their website: The Center has been a home and resource hub for the LGBT community, NYC residents and visitors since our founding in 1983. We provide a place to connect and engage, find camaraderie and support, and celebrate the vibrancy and growth of the LGBT community.

From the History Timline: A dream born in the wake of the 1969 Stonewall riots was fulfilled when the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center Inc. took title to 208 West 13th Street in December 1984. Today The Center welcomes more than 300,000 visitors every year and provides social, cultural, wellness and health-based programming to support the vibrancy of the LGBT community in NYC.

This one is extremely doubtful but fun noting. Especially if you haven’t heard of this place, I recommend their website and reading all about them! We probably wouldn’t have any LGBT representation without them, so its at least worht spreading the word about this place! 

That’s all I have for now. I’ll do more research if possible. Please reblog with your input!  I’m going to tag a few people under the cut because I want to start/continue with the discussion of the “13th”.

@inevitably-johnlocked @quietlyprim @skulls-and-tea @deducingbbcsherlock @addignisherlock @bbcjohnlock @tjlc @loudest-subtext-in-tv @the-7-percent-solution @shelock @marcelock