#its been almost 3 years. This was clearly the plan.

[styrofauxm]

character: is morally grey

character: does increasing awful things as the story goes on

character: crosses so many lines by the end they are just flat out evil for sure

character: is happy about this

fans: omg i can't believe they became evil and stayed there! Im so upset at this ending i thought they would become good

[spacedace]

Reluctant War AU Part 2

Part One

...I ended up writing more for that Reluctant War AU...Like. Wrote this before work and started on part 3 with plans for part 4 more.

this was supposed to just be a brain worm what happened (also thank you @catastrophic-crow for the AU name <3 <3 <3 Also, also: welcome to the cult of Ancient of the Speedforce Elle! Membership includes nonsense, shenanigans and chaos haha)

-

Gotham had always been a place for ghosts.

Every corner haunted by death and tragedy.

Every street stained red at least once in its many years.

Every dark shadow holding the faint shadows and shades of the dead.

Gotham was, before all else, a grave yard.

Jason had known that his entire life. Every kid born and raised in the Alley did. Death came fast to Gotham’s streets. Especially for those the rest of the city turned its back on. He did his best to lighten the reaper’s load when it came to the people that called Crime Alley home. Well, mostly. He’d certainly added names to old Death’s list before, when the occasion called.

When the armies of the dead descended upon Gotham, the only surprise Jason could feel was that those white wearing pieces of shit had dared to try and hunker down in his city.

It was a sentiment shared by most of Gotham’s fine citizens. By the city itself - herself? Something to ask later, if there was a later - even if the impossible, living shadow that rose up out of Gotham’s many dark corners was anything to go by. He knew, almost instinctively, that the entity - skin of cracked pavement, mouth a bridge suspended too wide across the face, eyes of CCTV camera lenses and body built brick by grimy, bloody brick of the sharp skyline - was Gotham. Not a ghost but something bigger, greater. Something awfully, terribly alive in all its horrible, noble glory. His city, manifest in the shape almost human beneath the green glow of the torn apart sky above.

Phantom’s armies arrived without warning as they had everywhere else, and their enemies poured out in unforgivably unmarred white suits to meet them. Horrible and garish against the Gotham streets. How they’d ever managed to slink by unnoticed while being so blatantly, clearly not of Gotham Jason wasn’t sure he’d ever know.

If either side thought this would be like the battles they fought before, they were mistaken.

Gotham was a place for Ghosts.

A place the dead piled up, lingered well beyond their deaths. A place where the rules were different from everywhere else in the world. Where crime was rampant and chaos reigned but at the end of the day people said their thanks that they were born to this hellhole and not so cursed to call anywhere else in the world home.

The dead came to fight

And Gotham, a thing so alive it was sickening to look upon, rose up to fight right along side them all.

The agents were ready and prepared for the incursion of the dead. It’d been two weeks since the first volley of attacks. Two weeks spent shoring up defenses and ramping up weapons and strategizing ways to kill what was already dead. They were, as best as they were able to be considering how endless the armies that came for them, prepared.

They weren’t prepared for Gotham.

Weren’t prepared for the city itself to rise up and take spectral, eldritch shape. Jagged building spire and shattered glass teeth bared in a snarl that spanned miles. Screaming rage in a voice made of gunfire and the concussive boom of explosions and the shrieks of a furious crowd.

Weren’t prepared for its people to ignore the gentle ushering of the dead trying to push them away to safety and instead press forward to fight shoulder to shoulder with the ghostly armies.

Weren’t prepared to have brick and bottles and trash and debris rain down upon them from the jeering living. Weren’t prepared for dirty faced children with hard eyes to light up rags stuffed into chipped beer bottles filled with gas and kerosene and throw them with more speed an accuracy than any professional baseball player. Weren’t ready for Gotham’s motley crew of terrifying Rogues to band together with the citizens they so often accosted and worried and bring down wave after wave of chaos and Goons.

Weren’t prepared for Red Hood to swap out his rubber bullets for the real deal and start mowing the fuckers in white down, his own crew at his back, the rest of the Outlaws on their way.

The Justice League was trying to find a peaceful resolution. Trying to play go between to the US Government and the infinite dead. Too wound up in US politics to side with the dead outright, too disgusted by what the American government had done to ever want to stand with them. All it had gotten them was spun wheels and confusion and the slow creeping realization that the time to try and play negotiators had well passed.

Red Hood wasn’t a member of the Justice League.

He had no obligation to try and find a way to talk things out.

What he had was a grave he’d dug his way out of, enough ammunition to arm a sizable country, and a burning need to make things right.

Gotham had always been a place for ghosts, and Jason had long accepted that he was one of them.

Haunting the streets he’d survived as a child, the city he protected as Robin, the family he’d loved and lost a thousand and one times before and after his death.

The sky cracked open above his home, and it was not an invading army that came rushing out but a native one. Friends, neighbors, strangers on the street you caught from the corner of your eye. The people of Gotham knew their own and fought for them. Only Gotham was allowed to fucked with Gotham and they’d been screwed over enough by the government themselves to know what side they were on.

He lifted his guns and fired, teeth bared in vicious satisfaction beneath his helmet as white was splattered bright red.

A hissing electric whine of a weapon, a flash of green from the edge of his vision.

“Down!”

He was thrown bodily to the cracked and ruined street beneath him, the body shielding him warm and living as one of the agent’s weapon fired a blast of energy right where he’d been a second before. He’d seen that same weapon reduce one of the raging dead to dripping green and screams of agony the dead should not be capable of making.

Before he could shove himself up and respond in kind, the body above him was in motion and the air above him cracking with the snapping-popping-roar of a gun of a much higher power than even what he had. The fucker in white that had shot at him dissolved into a mist of red viscera, body seizing and shuttering in the briefest moment it had before it was obliterated completely.

“Watch yourself.” He looked up - and up - and wondered at the lovely, fierce face he found staring down at him. “Even without shooting at them you’re Liminal enough to trip their sensors.”

She was tall enough to be an amazon, six inches in height on him at least. Body strong beneath the pitch black armor she work - as deep and dark as the depths of space, etched with starlight, a familiar crest upon her chest in the dizzying burst of a supernova - she held herself with confidence. Strands of hair the color of a warning sunrise escaped out from beneath the helm she wore, bright against her pale skin, warming the glass-sharp teal eyes that had pinned him in place.

The hand not holding the gun she’d just used to delete the asshole that had just tried to shoot him - a strange, impossible thing that made him taste lightning at the back of his throat to look at it - stretched out to help him up.

He accepted it.

Something pulsed to life in his chest. A piece forgotten where it’d been left behind, half buried in grave dirt and broken pieces of a casket he’d clawed his way out of. It burned like a hot coal in his chest, froze him with the same aching cold of a blizzard, crackled his nerves to life with lightning even as his brain popped and fried with the same sizzling energy.

On his feet, hair on end and body and Core pulsing with the need to fight, to rend and tear and scream for all done to him, his people, his home, he met the eyes of the woman before him. Her cool gaze softened, just a moment, just a second as she seemed to realize what had happened. Her hand, lighter than the armor she wore should allow it to be, tightened on his just a moment, mouth tilting from determined frown to soft understanding.

Gotham had always been a place for ghosts.

Jason had long accepted that he was one of them.

---

Part Three

[signedkoko]

Ah I jsut wanted to say that I ADORE how you write HH Mammon- he is everything to me <3

So long as your up for it, I was hoping you could write Mammon with an s/o who casually refers to him as their husband (they’re not married)? Maybe they’re talking to someone while Mammon’s in the room and he overhears them say “yeah! My husband was saying…” like it’s the most normal thing in the world!

Thank you so much and have a wonderful day/night!!!

Mammon X Reader [Romantic]

In which you refer to Mammon as your husband, despite the fact that you aren't married. Genderneutral reader.

You and Mammon have been together for a couple years now

You'd met all the milestones, like moving in together, nicknames, and for him personally, not being exploited!

It was a feat no one had ever performed—to gain the sin of greed's trust—and it was one you were extremely proud of

Mammon never said much about it, since he never really thought about partners and just took you partially for granted

You were his, and in some way, he viewed you as a soulmate

Like, yeah? Of course you're with him? It was meant to be. Duh.

Even so, asking you out was already something that took almost a year for him, so a proposal felt so far away that he hadn't really considered it

It's not like there was a 'good age' to propose, nor did the two of you have mutual friends that married, so it was far out of his peripherals

At least, that was the case until one evening when you were at the clown pageant rehearsals, talking to some of the performers

Fizzarolli and you had a bit of rapport, and the imp always tried to make small talk with you

Mammon wasn't really listening, just looking around, when he overheard the two of you speaking

" So. What's it like to date Mammon? Not to intrude! I just can't really imagine him...like that. "

" Not intruding! Well, he's not your average guy, but he's a lovely husband. He always... "

Your voice faded out as he took in the word husband, and his jaw dropped

Fuck, yeah, okay, husband? Had he proposed in his sleep?

No way, you didn't have a ring, and he would never skimp out on a ring for you

Then he felt a strange guilt

He hurriedly vanished back to his office, marching back and forth, muttering out his thoughts

He hadn't even thought about it, but clearly you had

What if you were getting sick of him not asking? How could he have glossed over something so important to you?

Planning for a proposal begins then, as busy as he is with the pageant, you take a priority in his life

Might even call up Lucifer just to ask about spouse-having

Author's Note - Omg, thank you so much for the compliments! I feel like its a necessity because I have so many requests for him that its one of my auto recommended tags LMAO Thank you so much for requesting! I answered this so fast sorry if thats scary 🥂

[wosoamazing]

Alessia & Olympics - Part 2 Option 2

Part 1 - Part 2.1 - Part 2.2

A/N: I did two part twos and couldn't decide which one to do, so I'm posting both. (There may also be a part 3 IDK, also if you have any requests fro anything send them through. I still have like a month to write and I seem to really be getting back into the swing of things.) Warnings: Collapsing, Vomit, Sickfic, thats all I think

You did it, the past 47.59 seconds felt like absolute torture for Alessia, she wanted to close her eyes almost, but she couldn’t, she watched, everything else around her didn’t matter when you crossed the finish line, you had just broken a 39 year standing record, but to her that didn’t matter, you were currently on all fours trying to catch your breath, clearly struggling, your chest was heaving quite badly, and then you collapsed onto your side, several of your competitions were by your side immediately and they quickly signalled for something, the next second a medical golf cart was out on the track, helping you in, before your coach sat on the back and you were gone.

Alessia was crying into her Mum’s shoulder when there was a tap on her back and she turned around to see a lady she recognised from the most recent family & friends event, she was part of the British Family Services Team “Alessia right?” There was a pause and Alessia offered a small nod, as she wiped her tears away, “Is it okay if you come with me?” again Alessia nodded slightly and the older women wrapped her arm around Alessia’s shoulders, guiding her somewhere, “I’m going to take you back to the village, she will most likely be with the medics at the village, and if she is you will be able to see her, especially because she has finished now, it’s most likely not serious, they have increased the medical procedures this year, they’re most likely worried about Lactic Acidosis, I’m assuming you know what that is,” there was another silence, “As I said I’m assuming you know what Lactic Acidosis is but it is different being the athlete experiencing it to being family, I understand you’re probably scared, but she is in excellent hands, just one second sorry,” the lady said as her phone rang, Alessia zoned out as they now stood outside the stadium, in some sort of behind the scenes area, she couldn’t help but think she could’ve been one of those the athletes walking around her in the ‘behind the scenes’ areas, they were so close yet so far, “okay,” Alessia startled a little “she is back at the village and they have actually already organised a cart for us, she has asked to see you, she is okay though, as I said Lactic Acidosis, but it’s only minor, and after the immaculate performance she just gave it is honestly no surprise really, but the most important thing is that she is okay and it’s only minor, its only a short trip to the village and then you can see her okay,” alessia nodded as she bit her lip nervously.

“I’ve got Alessia Russo here, she is here for Miss Y/F/N Y/L/N,” after a few moments Alessia was now walking with one of the recovery leads, down a series of hallways, as she was told what the plan for you was for the next 24 hours, she saw several athletes walk out of one particular bay as they came to a stop but she didn’t think much of it.

“Okay, thank you so much,” Alessia replied, having learnt that for safety you would be kept in the medical facilities overnight, and that she could stay with you as long as you didn’t deteriorate. “She is just-” “Lessi,” you weak voice interrupted the ever so kind Lady and Alessia looked at her gaining a quick nod before she moved to open the curtain for Alessia, you were sat on a physio type bed, your back and head rested against the bed, which was positioned so your upper body was more upright, a therapist was working on massaging your legs, helping you with your normal recovery considering you could no longer do it yourself. A cardboard bowl rested on the bed next to you, it almost was the exact same as the one alessia was sent home with a few weeks ago after her concussion.

“Hey baby, how are you? You did absolutely amazing out there, I am so incredibly proud of you,” she spoke softly as she came to your side.

“Thank you, ’m ‘kay, might throw up again soon,” you told her, even speaking seemed hard and Alessia felt so bad for you, you were meant to be celebrating, not sitting in a bed hooked up to an IV and monitoring machines throwing up.

“Again?” she was slightly concerned, “mmm” was all you replied as you clumsily nodded before your eyes slipped closed, you reached up for her hand and she quickly took a hold of yours.

“I know vomiting seems concerning but in this case it is good, it means her body is working to get the lactic acid out, her heart rate is getting better, its not at her base rate but its good, her oxygen stats are almost back up to 100 and she is talking, communicating, she might seem like she is out of it but she is just tired, we did the alertness tests and she got perfect scores on all of them. We just got the second round of blood results through and her levels are going down quickly, it's good. Her body is doing what it needs to, it just took a bit longer for it to start doing it’s job,” the recovery lead reassured Alessia.

“Lessi, ‘m going to be sick,” your girlfriend immediately jumped into action, holding the bowl under your chin as you were sick.

“That’s it, baby, I’m here, you’re okay,” Alessia said as she rubbed your back, you slumped back into the bed as you finished and Alessia quickly got rid of the bowl.

“Right, that's you done for now y/n, I’ll be back when you are feeling a little less sick and do your arms and back for you,” The therapist told you before leaving and Alessia made quick work of slipping in underneath you.

“Go to sleep baby, I’ll be here with you when you wake up, hopefully feeling a lot better.” she whispered softly in your ear, with her help you rolled over so your front rested on hers, you tucked your head into the crook of her neck and you quickly fell asleep.

—

As you walked with Alessia hand in hand out of the medical area and into the foyer you were greeted with a surprise, many of your teammates were in the foyer, clapping you, and your hand was let go suddenly as Alessia stepped back and smiled at you, you were handed the biggest bouquet of flowers known to mankind and your medal was placed around your neck, you had missed your medal ceremony because you were sleeping off your sickness and so the British Olympic team had rallied together to make you a makeshift medal ceremony. You posed for some photos as most people dispersed, once photos were over Alessia walked over to you, wrapping her arms around you from behind, but you turned in her arms to face her, placing your forehead on hers as you did, before leaning back and looking into her ocean blue eyes, “I do not want to see those photos, they really couldn’t even give me the chance to shower first, I was throwing up a few hours ago,” Alessia just shook her head and leant in for a kiss but you put a finger on her lips and shook your head, “Did you not just listen, I was just throwing up a few hours ago,”

“I know, I was there, but I do not care, you are my person, and you have just fucking won a gold medal, and broken the world record, which is older than us mind you. I fucking love you and I don’t think I have ever been more proud of anything in my life, I love you so much and so I’m going to kiss you, I don’t care,” you laughed as your lips connected and you knew that you wanted to be with Alessia forever.

[magneto-was-fucking-right]

The Ghost Next Door - Chapter 1

Prompt: After suffering an almost lethal injury in combat, Simon "Ghost" Riley expected a dull, and uneventful leave back at his shitty apartment. His new next-door neighbor ruins his plans. Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader (named Riley Thomas for plot purposes)

Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Disclaimer: slow burn; neighbor!Simon; will eventually contain very graphic descriptions of smut;

Chapter summary: Ghost returns home to find he has a new noisy neighbor: a socially awkward veterinarian with questionable cooking skills. Word Count: 1.5k

When Simon Riley limply walked in on his flat after four months of deployment, he could barely breathe. The stale air from the lack of proper ventilation had trapped in the humidity of the past rainy days, the walls poorly insulated, and therefore, moldy. As per usual, the place looked terribly dull, the scarce decorative elements inadequately arranged, but certainly well-fitting to the dingy apartment complex in Manchester.

Dropping his duffel bag by the door dismissively, instead of opening the curtains and letting in the evening light, he first headed to the fridge, analyzing its usual contents: two beers, a carton of milk (most likely spoiled by now), a jar of marmite and an old noodles container from the Chinese restaurant he liked, stinking up the place.

“Forgot ya little fucker” he made sure to remember to throw it out later, before grabbing a beer and plopping himself on the couch, careful enough to not hurt his wounded leg any further. But as soon as he grabbed the remote from under his thigh, ready to turn on the news and resituate himself with the current ongoings of the British populace, he finally paid attention to the commotion next door.

“Bloody fucking hell” He groaned “What’s all this racket?”

He heard thumping, scratching, something breaking, quick footsteps and what seemed to be a gentle voice cooing “oh no, please, not again”. Just as he was processing the fact that he didn’t remember having any horizontal neighbors since he first signed the lease (one of the main reasons why he even signed in the first place), an aggressive knock on his door made him instantly rise to his feet, grabbing a black facemask from his bag and moving silently to peek through the peephole.

“Mr. Riley!” The old woman on the other side called out, still knocking, and Simon sighed deeply in annoyance. “I know you’re in there, I saw you come in earlier.”

“Fucking cunt” He muttered under his breath, weighting whether ignoring her would make her leave at once (it wouldn’t, and they both knew it).

He took a deep breath before unlocking the door, regretting it immediately.

“There ya are” She started, shoving a couple papers on his chest, and forcing a pen between his calloused fingers “I need you to sign this immediately.”

“What are you on about?” He tried his best to keep it polite and cordial, but the woman’s presence and constant complaints always filled him with inevitable rage.

“Your neighbor” She pointed to the door next to his, where a great deal of noise still stemmed from the walls “She cannot and will not stay here. She is insufferable.”

Well that makes two, innit? He thought to himself, biting down his tongue.

Faced with his menacing silence, she carried on with her melodramatic monologue:

“It’s a petition to kick her out, I’m getting everyone to sign, even the new tenants, then I’ll arrange a meeting with the landlady for a formal hearing.”

“What the fuck did she do?” Simon inquired, clearly irritated, reading the five signatures on the first page. He was pretty sure three of them were in the same handwriting.

She looked at him indignantly, extending her arms at the door once again, indicating the ongoing clatter.

“She has a bloody jungle in there! Cats, dogs, birds, and God forbid, rats if you can believe it!”

“Mrs. Parsons, I think we all had rats in our apartments at some point this year.”

“Not as pets! It’s disgusting, and everyone’s been complaining about the noise!”

He glared at her indifferently, eager to return to the comfort of his privacy and wallow in his frustration, giving his leg some much needed rest. She stepped back, seemingly realizing that Mr. Riley was in one of his moods, not keen on indulging in useless chatter or gossip.

“Right, well, not interested.” He tried to return the signatures, to which she vehemently refused, pushing them back to his chest.

“At least consider it Mr. Riley. She lives right next to you and the walls are thin. Your signature’s the most important one.”

“Will do.” He shut the door on her face, mindlessly throwing the papers and the facemask on the coffee table as he limped back to the couch and turned on the tv. He hissed after realizing he had ripped his stitches as he sat down aggressively, a splotch of blood soaking the fresh bandage he had been arranged on base.

“Fuckin’ hell” he sighed tiredly, deciding he would deal with it first thing in the morning.

***

As the pandemonium progressively decreased throughout the night, Simon had fallen deep asleep on the sofa, tv still on and feet kicked up on the table. But when there was a new knock on the door, this time softer, he felt like he could have only been sleeping for five minutes, exhaustion and grumpiness still ingrained in his bones.

“What now?” He groaned to himself, massaging his sore neck, and finally remembering to kick off his boots. He was so used to sleeping fully clothed, often even geared up and ready to go, that he always took some time to remember how to act like a civilian again once he was back home.

Just as he readjusted himself to go back to sleep, his lids semi closed and arms crossed over his chest, one more knock arose anger in his belly at his newly interrupted rest. Frustrated, he sighed before getting up, easing up the pressure on his wound as the sharp pain reminded him of the ruptured sutures from the previous evening.

Facemask on once again, Simon opened the door aggressively, expecting Mrs. Parsons to come collect her newfound project in ruining other people’s lives, and therefore halfway of saying “What the fuck do you-”

“I-I’m so sorry! I know it’s early and I was probably a huge bother all night, but I wanted to apologize before leaving for work and-”

“Slow down.” He commanded, stopping the young woman’s panicked rant. He had barely rubbed sleep from his eyes and his mind wasn’t yet ready to take in another dreadful monologue. He observed her intently, as he often did to potential threats (usually concealed by the shadows), but as the circumstances proved different, she observed him right back. He always felt strange and vulnerable without the skull mask, regardless of the black facemask covering half of his visage anyway.

She couldn’t possibly be over 25 years old, her bright and cheerful complexion not carrying the weight of the tired lines that came at 30. She was considerably shorter than him, but still quite tall for a woman, her frame concealed under oversized scrubs that seemed ridiculously out of place; her hair messily tied in a long braid. She held up a tray with what seemed to be freshly baked cookies, but about half of them were burnt.

As she smiled nervously, he noticed one of her canines was slightly chipped, and the small white scar across her right eyebrow almost distracted him from the dimples. If she had noticed him stare at the small imperfections, she didn’t seem bothered at all, continuing her anxious speech as if she had practiced in front of the mirror beforehand.

“Right, I’m sorry, I really hoped we could meet in better circumstances.”

“What time is it?” Simon groaned, looking at his wrist to check his watch. “Fuckin’ hell, it’s 6 in the bloody morning.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I was gonna bake you a cake and offer you tea, but I was called in unexpectedly yesterday an-”

“That’s lovely and all, but why are you knocking on my door at six in the morning with half-burnt cookies?” He interrupted moodily and almost regretted it once he saw her smile falter and her cheeks redden in shame.

“Oh…” She lowered the tray, her eyebrows scrunched as she analyzed the overcooked treats and tried hard to recover. “Well, I just wanted to apologize for all the noise from last night before I left for work. I feel terrible about it and-”

“Apology accepted.” He stepped back, ready to shut the door.

“Wait!” She held it with her foot, nervously trembling under his cold gaze. She took a deep breath, and he sighed, his head slightly tilted to the right, as if deciding what to think of the socially awkward woman meddling in his business. “I just…”

“Go on.” He encouraged, trying to speed up the end of the uncomfortable encounter.

“I’m new here.” she blurted out “I moved in about a month and a half ago and people don’t seem to like me very much already” she sighed, and he noticed the dark bags under her tired eyes.

“So I’ve heard.”

“I work at the Vet clinic a few streets nearby-”

“I didn’t sign it.” He interrupted once again, and she would certainly be frustrated if she wasn’t so happy about what he said.

“The petition?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?” Her face gleamed with relief “Because I-”

“I’m due to consider it.” He added, her expression quickly dropping to disappointment.

“Why?” Her soft, defeated tone could almost pull on his heartstrings. If he had one.

“I don’t know if you’ll bother me yet.” Now he was just messing with her.

“I won’t!” She argued, defensively.

“Alright. I’ll think about it over that cake.” He closed the door, leaving her open mouthed in shock, the tray of cookies still in hand.

He heard her softly press her forehead to the door after a thoughtful moment, and then yell out:

“Are you allergic to anything?”

“People.”

A/N: I'm back! I wrote this months ago but only just decided to start posting these series :) I LOVE writing porn but when it comes with a cute backstory attached it's just *chef's kiss*. I plan on keeping the chapters simple and comforting - writing has been really helping me cope with seasonal depression, and the boredom of routine in general. New chapter coming soon... Enjoy!

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Bonds That Break Us (Rhysand x Female! Reader) Part 6

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Final Part

Request: "Would you do a Rhysand x fem!reader series? Maybe fem!reader is Rhysand's mate and Tamlin's sister? So secret love?"

AN: Took a wild leap with this one...

Summary: It was almost as if the cauldron liked to play games, as if it had sensed years of boredom and predictability and begged to be entertained. Its method of absolving its melancholy? Mate the High Lord of the Night Court to the younger sister of the High Lord of Spring. 

Warnings (so far): mentions of physical abuse, mentions of SA, major sexisim, SMUT, dirty talk, angst.

Word count: 3557

(all photos are from pinterest)

“And if they win? If my brother and Beron get their way?” I ask Rhysand who is clearly lost in thought, but it’s Mor who answers.  

“Then you would be forced to marry Eris. As fucked up and sexist as it is, they’re going to call into question who had claim of you first Eris or Rhys.” Mor answered clearly, hating the words  coming out of her own mouth. 

“Oh,” I murmured, it was all I could say, the thought that all of this could have been for nothing. Those days spent in a cell, weeks keeping Rhysand and I a secret it didn’t change the outcome of my life. 

“I won’t let it come to that,” Rhys said, walling over to me and pressing his forehead to mine. “I won’t let them take you from me.” 

“You’re right I’m sure we can figure this out,” I reply, not trusting my own words.  

“Let’s go shopping girl, it will give brooding old Rhys here time to think of a plan.” Mor said, trying to lighten the mood. “You can borrow something of mine while we shop.”

“Mor’s right we should get me some clothes,” I giggle looking down at the too big shirt of Rhysand’s that I was wearing. I press a chaste kiss to his lips trying to bring a smile to his face but it doesn’t work. I move towards Mor but I feel Rhy’s hand pull me back. 

“Not without one of these,” he says, pressing his lips to mine passionately. I nearly moan at the way he is always able to kiss me into submission. I swear I’d do anything he asked me if he just kissed me like this. 

“I love you,” I smile, pulling away from the kiss. 

“I love you too,” he smiles, running his thumb over my lips. “Take care of her Mor.” 

“Like she was my own mate,” Mor smiled before leading me to her bedroom.

“This wasn’t just a shopping trip you know?” Mor says, holding up her glass of wine to her lip. “I wanted to thank you.” 

She had insisted that we go out for a drink and for dinner before turning in for the night and given the long day we had I was more than willing to do just that. 

“Thank me for what? I hardly think I’ve done anything but cause problems for your cousin and your court,” I sigh popping another grape into my mouth. 

“Yet I’ve never seen him so happy,” she sent me a knowing smile. “I’ve known Rhys my whole life, never have I seen him so at peace, so willing to live. When his parents and his sister died he was given the title of High Lord, one he never felt like he was ready for. It made him unhappy, but all that has changed because of you.” 

“How did Rhys’ family die?” I ask sipping my own glass of wine. All of the color drained from Mor’s face.

“You don’t know?” she asks bewildered. 

“No he never told me,” I answered, afraid of whatever answer she might tell me. 

“I shouldn’t tell you this,” she said, trying to resume sipping her wine. 

“Mor please, tell me.” I beg her. 

“Okay but don’t let Rhys kill me,” she starts. “200 years ago Rhys and your brother were friends, but your father figured out that Rhysand would be the most powerful High Lord and sought to bring him down a peg. So one night he and Tamlin as well as your brothers went to the Illyrian Camps and slaughtered his mother and sister in cold blood. When Rhysand’s father found out both went to the Spring Court only leaving you and Tamlin alive.” 

I could hardly believe what I was hearing Tamlin had always told me that the agents of the night court had killed our family for stealing their wings, that they were to be an enemy of our court. If I ever asked him to tell me more he would refuse. “But why would Rhys and his father leave us alive?” 

Mor let out another sigh, “Rhys was supposed to kill you. That night he stood over your bed with a dagger, the mating bond snapped into place. He told me that he fell to his knees before you. It was too late for him to rectify what he had done to your family, but when he found his father holding a dagger to Tamlin’s throat Rhys begged for him to live and he did. But Tamlin took Rhysand’s fathers own dagger and drove it through his heart anyways.” 

I nearly felt my knees give out, he had known for 200 years and said nothing. I couldn’t stop myself from reeling. My heart rate began to pick up and suddenly this dress was too tight, this room was too hot and the walls were closing in. 

“I need…I need some air,” I gasped. It was all I could say before taking off. 

I heard Mor calling for me inside the tavern but I couldn’t stop, not for anything. The chill of the night air did little to calm my heart rate down.  I wove through a sea of people, all of them balking at the unfamiliar face. I even heard murmurs of ‘that’s Tamlin’s sister’ and my gut churned. All that was going through my head was he knew, he knew, he knew. 

So I ran, and I ran, and I tried to outrun the feeling but it didn’t matter how far I went, I couldn’t escape the shocking truth I had just heard.

I found myself sitting by the edge of the river about a mile outside of town. Something about the sound of the water flowing by and the crickets chirping gave me time to think. It wasn’t agents of the night court that killed  my family, it was the High Lord, and Rhys. I supposed I should be mad, but given the events of the last few days, what Tamlin did to me, what he’s still trying to do? I’m almost glad Rhys nearly put an end to it all. But it doesn’t change one thing. He knew we were mates for almost 200 years and didn’t tell me. I had heard him calling down the bond for an hour now, but I shut him out. I needed time to process this. 

Behind me I heard the flap of massive wings and then a thud, I turned to find Azriel standing behind me. His face was kind. Not angry or upset like I thought it would be. He looked friendly. 

“It’s a bit cold out tonight, mind if I join you?” he asked, gesturing to the spot beside me. 

“I’m afraid I’m not the best company, but be my guest.” I reply, patting the spot next to me. His massive frame came to sit beside me and as the breeze floated in from my right he curled a wing around me shielding me from it.  

“So you found out how to shut Rhys out of the bond?” he smirked. 

“I guess so,” I shrugged, not taking my eyes off the river before me. 

“Nice,” he smiled like he was proud of me for doing so. 

“Is he mad?” I ask, cringing slightly. 

“No, but he is worried. The second Mor came back and told him what happened and he sent all of us out to find you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has the whole of Velaris doing search and rescue by now.” Azriel explained casually.  

“I’m sorry. I just needed time.” I said picking at the rocks on the ground. 

“Don’t be. It was a big blow,” he started. “Are you mad at Rhys?” 

“I know I should be, but I’m not. I just wish he had told me.” I sigh.

“You know I was there that night. I was at the townhouse when he returned from the spring court. He was a wreck, an honest to gods wreck. He was so stricken with grief over what he had done that he disappeared to the Illyrian mountains for a week.” he explained. 

“But why didn’t he tell me?” I plead.

“I don’t know. I think he wanted to, but the timing was never right. He spent nearly 200 years loving you from afar and then you finally felt the bond snap. I think he was so happy that he was scared he would lose you. That you would reject the bond.” he said. 

“I suppose I don’t know what I’d do in that situation either,” I sigh.

“One thing you can be sure of is that he does love you. I’ve never seen a person love another person more. Hell he’s trying to claw into my mind as we speak but I’m not letting him,” Azriel chuckles. 

“I suppose I should go back then,” I laugh beginning to stand up. 

“I’ll take you. Do you want me to winnow you there or do you want to go the fun way?” he says, cocking an eyebrow. 

“What’s the fun way?” I ask nervously, dusting the dirt off my dress. 

He snapped his wings out in answer. 

“Oh definitely the fun way,” I smile. “I’ve never flown before.”

“Rhys will be pissed that I’m taking your flying virginity but he’ll get over it eventually.” Azriel smiles before scooping me up. “You ready?” 

“Yes!” I squeal in anticipation and excitement. 

“Hold on tight princess,” Azriel laughs, launching off the ground into the sky. 

My stomach bottoms out and my grip on his neck tightens as the river below us gets smaller and smaller. All the air leaves my lungs as we continue to ascend and then we’re soaring through the sky.  

“Oh my gods this is amazing!” I shout with joy into the night and I feel Azriel’s chuckle reverberate through my body. 

“Do you trust me?”  he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” I smile, still unable to  hide the joy I feel.  

“Let go of my neck, I'm going to let you free fall,” he instructs me. 

“But you’re going to catch me right?” I ask just to be sure. 

“You’re going to be my High Lady one day, I will always catch you,” he says nonchalantly.

“Okay let’s do it,” I say, removing my hands from his neck. 

“See you in a second!” he laughs before letting go. 

I feel myself falling through the sky and it’s the most freeing feeling ever. I can’t help but let an excited whoop out as the wind whips my hair about. I have never felt more powerful, more invincible than in this moment. Every worry about my brother, about Beron and the council are gone, for once my mind is clear. 

I see Azriel tucking his wings in above me diving down to meet me and in mere seconds I feel him scooping me up again. 

“That was so fun!” I shout. 

“Don’t ever tell Rhys we did that he will have my head,” Azriel laughed and I could see the townhouse below us. 

We land on the terrace and the sound of our laughter brings Rhys out to meet us. 

“Thank gods I was scared something had happened to you,” he said, rushing over to press a kiss to my forehead.  

“I’m fine you overbearing mother hen,”  I laugh putting my  hands on his forearms.  

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Azriel said backing away. 

“Wait!” I shout before running over to throw my arms around him giving the biggest hug I possibly could. For a second he doesn’t hug me back, in shock from my sudden action but then I feel two arms wrap around me. “Thank you for everything, for the talk, for the ride.  All of it.” 

“Of course y/n any time.” he smiled. I backed away and took Rhys’ hand as he began to lead me inside. 

“Oh and Azriel!” Rhys called making Azriel turn around. “I saw that,” he smirked and I know he meant the free fall. 

“Damn,” Azriel cursed before taking off into the night. 

Rhys turned to me, mood more somber now. “I think we need to talk,”  he said quietly, like the words would hurt him if he spoke them too loud.  

“I think we do too,” I replied. 

We walked upstairs to the bedroom, everything was just as we left it this morning. Bed unmade, sheets thrown everywhere. The only noticeable difference was my new trove of dresses hanging in Rhys’ closet. My heart warmed at the sight of it. Something so small yet so meaningful at the same time, so domestic. Something I had unknowingly wanted for a long time. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask turning around to meet his violet eyes. 

“Please believe me when I say I wanted to tell you. I never planned on keeping you in the dark about it. That night I went to kill you I had such hatred in my heart, I had lost my mother and my sister and I wanted revenge. I was young and stupid and following my father blindly. But when I saw you  the bond clicked and I had never known such love. I remember it all. I fell to my knees before you and I realized what I had done. I had killed my mate's family. When I saw my father and Tamlin fighting I begged them to stop, begged my father to let him live. I couldn’t tell them why for fear that Tamlin would kill you just to hurt me. But eventually my father gave in, but Tamlin still stuck a dagger in his heart. When I got back to Velaris I had become High Lord and I couldn’t cope.” he explained, stepping closer to me to cup my cheek. “I have spent the last 200 years in agony knowing what I did to you.” 

He paused taking in my face like he might never see me again, like I might reject the mating bond, and his eyes started to glass over. 

“The day the bond snapped for  you was one of the happiest days of my life. But you were already so hesitant to let me in, you wouldn’t even let my name pass your lips. I knew I couldn’t tell you then for fear of losing you forever. I had to make you see that I wasn’t the monster Prythian paints me to be. Even though I acted like one that night. I was selfish in not telling you. You deserved to know the truth. But please forgive me, and I will spend the rest of my life making up for it in every way I know how. They might seem like empty words, but I love you so much, I don’t think I can live without you.” he finished and I saw a tear slip from his eye. 

“Rhys, I’ve already forgiven you.” I say wiping the tear from his face. “And maybe that makes me a terrible person, forgiving and loving the man who killed my family. But look at what they would’ve done, what they stood for. Tamlin locked me in a cell and was ready to sell me off to be Eris’ breeding vessel. The way my brothers and father always treated me they would’ve done the same, maybe worse.  Who knows what miserable fate you might’ve saved me from. Your true character is reflected in people like Azriel and Cassian, in this beautiful city you’ve kept secret and protected for years. I see all of you Rhysand and there is not a part of you that I don’t love with all that I am.” 

Rhys lets out a sigh of relief before smashing our lips together. I can taste the salt of his tears and the salt of my own. I throw my arms around his neck pulling him impossibly close 

“I love you so much,” he cries between kisses. 

“I love you too,” I say back smiling. I sit down on the bed and pull him down with me. 

“Wait we can’t your still hurt,” he protests. 

“Rhysand, if you don’t get on this bed and fuck me right now I swear on my life I will get myself off.” I gripe at him. 

“While I would love nothing more than to watch you play with your pretty pussy. I think I’d rather do it myself tonight. But you need to tell me if you’re hurting at all okay?” he fusses. 

“I will, I promise! Now please touch me!” I whine taking his hand and placing it on my breast. 

“With pleasure mate,”  he says, squeezing my breast. He snaps his fingers and our clothes are gone. 

“That’s a fun little trick,” I laugh pulling him down, needing to feel his skin on mine.

“Only used for times where I desperately need to be inside you,” he purrs and chills coat my body. 

I kiss him hard letting my hands caress his shoulders and arms, all of him pure muscle, lethal and totally at my mercy. He pulls my hair back to give himself access to my neck and I feel a wave of arousal flow through me as he finds that sweet spot that drives me wild. 

My hand drifts down his front  grazing every muscle on it’s way until I find his cock already hard and dripping with precum. I wrap my fingers  around it and begin stroking it. My hand feeling incredibly small compared to the size of him. His hips buck fucking himself into my hand at the contact. 

“Fuck mate,” he lets out a low groan in my ear. “How is it that even your hands feel perfect around my cock?” 

“It’s because I was made for you,” I muse nibbling his ear. 

“Hmm,” he hums in delight. “You know what was really made for me?”  

“What?” I ask as he pulls his cock from my hand. 

“This,” he smirks before plunging himself inside of me. I arch my back off the mattress in pleasure as he lets out a guttural moan. “Gods your so fucking tight!” 

“Oh fuck Rhys!” I moan, scratching my nails down his back. 

He starts fucking me hard, the mating bond glowing brightly between us. If this is how badly we need one another before the mating ceremony I shudder to think what will happen after. If he thinks a few weeks will be enough he’s dead wrong, I could do this for the rest of my life. 

He snaps his hips at an angle that hits a particularly sensitive spot and I can’t help but moan even louder. 

“Gods I love the sounds you make when I fuck you,” he says with a feral grin before sinking his teeth into my neck. 

“Oh gods Rhys I’m close!” I groan, running my hands through his hair. 

“I’m right behind you mate, make a mess on my cock,” he grunts and it’s enough to send me over the edge with his name on my lips. 

“Fuck y/n!” he screams, spilling his seed inside me.

As I feel his warm cum coat my walls he collapses on top of me and though he’s crushing me it’s an welcome weight. His skin on mine is the best feeling I’ve ever known. His shallow breaths coat my neck as I rub soothing circles on his back. We spend a few minutes catching our breath as I continue to hold him close to me. 

“Did you talk to Cassian and Az about Beron?” I ask. 

“I did and I think we have a solution.” he answers without moving his head from my chest. 

“What is it?” I inquire further, dying to know. 

“We toyed with the idea of having the mating ceremony early but with the meeting so soon it wouldn’t be safe. If we were to walk in there as a newly mated pair I would have Beron’s head ripped off within moments of him talking about you like you’re an object. It’s too dangerous,” Rhys said. 

“Agreed,” I chuckle nervously. “But if we can’t mate officially then what do we do?”

Rhys rolls over from his spot on top of me so that he can see my face, no doubt wanting to gage my reaction to his proposed solution. 

“I make you my High Lady,” he says with pride in his voice. 

I knew that Azriel had said it earlier but at the time I didn’t believe him. It didn’t seem possible. I bore no real powers besides winnowing, I had no political knowledge. How could I possibly be High Lady.  

“But do you really want that?” I ask. “I mean you’re not just doing it to make sure Beron and Tamlin don’t win right?” 

“I’ve always known you were going to be my High Lady y/n. But I knew that the title came with responsibilities. I didn’t want to pressure you into it.” he explains. “But to answer your question more directly, yes, I want it. I want you to be my equal in every way possible. Why do you think I brought up Kallias and Viviane when we were on the Summer Court terrace?”

I smile remembering the interaction.

“Then I guess I’m High Lady of the Night Court now.” I smile triumphantly. 

(I was debating wether or not to put this sort of plot twist in here so please leave some feedback because it helps me to know what you guys like and how I can write better for all you beautiful stars!)

Taglist: @crystalferret202 , @heyyitsnat21 , @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson , @randomperson1234sblog , @local-fangirl09 , @bleh-81, @annaaaaa88 , @tenaciousperfectionunknown , @judig92, @aunicornmademedoit, @sharknutz , 

 @slytherintaco , @isa1b2h3 , @nickishadow139  , @sarawritestories , @coisas-da-dani ,  @lovemesomevesey ,  @graceshifts , 

[anotherandomcollection]

[prologue] Dear Diary...

──────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────── ≻─ ⋆✩ pairings: arlecchino x gn!reader ≻─ ⋆✩ warnings: some angst?, childhood friends to strangers to lovers, canon typical violence, mentions of death, slowburn - not beta read ≻─ ⋆✩ spoilers?: 4.6 (Arlecchino's story quest) ≻─ ⋆✩ synopsis: this is a series I'm writing - its in the form of dairy entries written from the reader's POV through the years.

this is just the prologue of how it all begins and provides insight on the background (on the reader) I made up :) There's no date for the diary entries but they progress forward.

≻─ ⋆✩ author's note: this was an idea that came to me in a dream (shower thoughts) /j I'm not too sure if this is a format that would be enjoyed, but I hope it is <3

≻─ ⋆✩ word count: 1.4K

[prologue]

──────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────

Dear Diary,

I'm leaving. I'm leaving this godforsaken house - I'm probably going to sneak off during my next mission. It's a solo mission, though I think it's just a ploy from "Mother" to get rid of me. My left leg is still injured and the Doctor says I may never fully recover, I have a barely noticeable limp, but anything short of perfection is frowned upon in the House of the Hearth (of course it is; the "Marelle" games should be enough of an indicator).

I don't know why either, I've been good - though perhaps she doesn't approve of the friendship Clervie and I have forged (not that she has any motherly rights to decide that). Or perhaps with Peruere - she is probably the next "King", with the highest potential or whatnot.

I'm scared to leave as well, just the idea of leaving is heavily frowned upon and is punishable with death. Even if I don't die on the mission, if I am caught, I will die. I'm not sure if even Archon's can tell me what happened to the other's who tried to leave. "Mother" keeps a strict tab on everyone and who knows what in the house. Any secrets being spilled… I pray for them. I pray for mercy, because I know the Doctor has none.

I'm scared to leave, scared about the future too. I don't know how to leave when this house is almost all that I remember. "Mother" clothed me, fed me and has given me a roof over my head. No matter how hard I had to work for it, I was given a shelter. It scares me that I don't hate this place as much as you would expect me to… It scares me to leave everything I know and all the people I cherish for this.

The battle for "King" starts soon, I probably won't be around for it. I'll either be long gone or dead, if the mission from mother goes according to my plan, I'll be on my way to Sumeru. If it doesn't… then I suppose mother's plan to get rid of me would have succeeded (archon's know I am not in mission ready condition).

I know its selfish to leave Clervie and Peruere but I cannot stay. I will die. Perhaps I could have stayed in another time or another universe where this "orphanage" didn't exist.

I'm leaving them a letter, but I have planned to make it look like I have died, or imply it, at least then I won't be the villain in their eyes for abandoning them here to suffer at the hands of "Mother". Painfully Hopefully, we will never cross paths and I will never have to explain myself. I'm not sure if they would understand.

I don't know how to live with myself anymore, not with the things the house has made us do. We are children and… I miss my family. I see glimpses of them in my dreams and memories - it was so warm. It had actually felt like a home. I think I had an older sister and a younger brother but I cannot clearly remember. I wonder what happened to them (if they even exist). I hope that I could have had that in another universe, but alas, I cannot in this one.

──────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────

[there is a letter left to Clervie and Peruere, hidden in a spot only the three of you know about]

Hi Clervie and Peruere,

It's me, I'm sure you know my writing by now and I'm sorry that I cannot see both of you one last time. I'm leaving on my mission and I will likely not return. "Mother" plans for me to die - I know it so because I am not currently mission ready and she's been sending me on so many. I'm barely pulling through as it is and I don't think I will make it back from this one.

I will miss both of you and I'm sorry it will end this way.

I will miss watching the sunrise with you, Clervie, and I hope that you see the aurora you so wish to see one day. I'm… sorry that it has come to this and I hope you continue going to watch the sun bleed orange-red in the sky and turn the horizon into a mix of orange and purple and pink (like your hair!).

Peruere… I will miss our shared love for insects. I left you some sketches I made of Bambi. I will miss our walks in the garden trying to insect-watch and then having to hide when our caretakers come looking for us. I really did enjoy them.

[in the same envelope, there are some old sketches of the spider - several sheets of the insect in several positions and all carefully drawn and the pages carefully preserved]

I'm sorry. [next to it is a scribbled out line, too scribbled to even make out what the words mean]

[the letter is only read by one of the people its addressed to before it is thrown into the fireplace and turns to ash]

──────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────

[the writing in this entry is shaky, tear drops are splattered on the page]

Dear Diary,

I heard Clervie died through the grapevine. I don't know what happened and I hope Peruere is doing alright. I only know she died in the battle for "King".

I don't know how to unpack this yet.

I'm scared

I thought I could maybe see them in the future. I don't know how to live knowing one of us will never get to grow up. It hurts so much. It hurts so much more than I thought this would...

──────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────

Dear Diary,

I got into the Sumeru Akademiya - under the Darshan Amurta and it specialises in biology. Particularly, I'm going to study insects! Which is probably more accurately called Entomology.

There's a new harbinger, Arlecchino. I don't know who that is, but I hear they are the new head of the House. "Mother" is dead. I hear the house has been taken over by a new "Father". I pray for the children each night. I hope the "Father" is nicer but the archon's know that is a stretch too far past reality. "Mother"… The Doctor… All the harbingers do is hurt and hurt.

I know first hand what both "Mother" and the Doctor does. Sometimes I wonder how they live with themselves. Perhaps both of them are crazy.

Perhaps it should satisfy me, that the person who tormented me and all the children is gone but there is none. It feels hollow and as terrible as it sounds, I… miss the house. It wasn't home, no, but there was some semblance of family, forged through sheer fear and understanding. I suppose it stops no one in the battle for King, it stops no one for the battle of recognition and the sheer desperation to survive.

But we all know why we do it.

I suppose we all understand. Understand enough to die without hatred. I wonder if Clervie felt the same. I hope her death was swift and as painless as possible. Archon's have mercy on her soul.

I've changed since the last time, I've changed my hairstyle and hopefully no one will recognise me. My injuries have been progressing well as well and my limp is almost gone. There's still the stress that weighs on me that someone will recognise me. I fear that someone from the Fatui recognises me - especially when they have their claws in every nation.

──────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────

[years later...]

──────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────

Dear Diary,

I'm going back to Fontaine. There has been an exchange in between both the Akademiya and the Fontaine Research Institute so I'll be going to study the Subdetection Units. They are these small units created by the Institute that monitors all sorts of environment data. It is extremely interesting and I wonder exactly what the units can record. Not only that but they are in the shape of insects!

I think these units are interesting and with some tweaking, it could be possible to track even more data from them. Particularly, underwater. These could also possibly monitor the area by the Fortress Meropide for escapees- The possibilities feel rather endless and I am probably being too ambitious, especially with little knowledge in the engineering behind these specific units.

──────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────

Dear Diary,

I think I saw her again today.

[the writing is shaky on the page and this entry is startlingly short.]

──────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────

[twstgarden]

❁ ❝ 𝗸𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗼𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗯𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗮𝗺𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗲 ❞

━ first years and gn! reader (reader can either be yuu or an oc/twstsona) ━ the weekend is finally here, and you and your dear batchmates have decided to make the best of it with a simple get-together. (f/n means first name)

this work does not contain spoilers for chapter 7, diasomnia's arc.

do not steal or translate without my permission.

­­­­knock, knock, knock

the obnoxious thumping on the door abruptly interrupted your blissful weekend nap. you groaned in annoyance as you sat up, rubbing your eyes and realising your accompanied creature with an abyssal appetite was nowhere to be seen.

you got out of bed and opened the door in a rather grumpy manner, preparing to show your frustration to whoever was knocking on your door on a weekend.

as soon as your eyes landed on a familiar group, your frustration grew even more, “what’s the big deal, guys?”

deuce was the first to apologise sheepishly as he spoke, “ah, sorry, n/n…” before he could continue speaking, however, a certain first year cut him off, casually draping an arm on your shoulder with that cheeky grin on his face.

“happy weekend, n/n~! remember the plan we talked about? also, it’s 3 in the afternoon, why are you still sleeping?”

ace’s words made you realise this weekend had some plans for you with your batchmates. it was no wonder that epel, jack, and ortho were standing by your bedroom door as well. however, there was one missing person…

“where’s sebek?” you asked, trying to get ace’s heavy arm off your shoulders, but he took it as a sign to tighten his hold onto you just to annoy you even more.

“he’s in the backyard, setting up the grill,” replied jack, and as soon as he said that, he excused himself and went to the backyard to assist sebek.

“the foods to be grilled are all prepared! go and dress up, n/n,” spoke epel as he smiled at you before walking away, presumably heading to your kitchen, leaving ace, deuce, and ortho with you. the Ignihyde child had a bright smile on, showing how excited he was to spend time with you.

“f/n-san! good afternoon!” greeted the child enthusiastically, causing you to smile as all your frustrations from earlier disappeared in the blink of an eye. you patted ortho’s shoulder as you replied, “good afternoon, ortho. well, i’ll make me look presentable.”

ace hummed as he replied teasingly, “you should. you look like you came out of a cave after a century has passed."

you were about to reply but he quickly left with deuce and ortho in tow, heading to either the backyard or the kitchen to prepare for today’s hangout. you sighed, shaking your head slightly before closing your bedroom door.

“grim! that’s my chicken!” yelled epel as he tried to get his barbecue chicken from grim, but it was long gone from his hands as it met the darkness of his stomach. you gave epel a piece of your chicken to make up for grim’s behaviour, “you should have guarded your food better, epel~”

the pomefiore first year huffed before trying to hand you back your meal, feeling embarrassed that you had to give up something of your own for him. your conversation was abruptly cut off by a loud voice from the microphone coming from the lounge.

“HELLO!!!”

the rest shrieked, almost dropping their food or drinks in the process before you looked at sebek standing by the lounge window with a disapproved expression, seeing him hold the microphone as he tested its volume. jack, who was beside him, was clearly annoyed from the loud noise, “sebek, don’t yell into the mic…”

“i was testing it!”

“you could just tap it…” mumbled jack before lowering the volume a little.

you chuckled at their dynamics before sipping on your drink. deuce and epel were busy grilling the marinated meat and potatoes. the aroma of the savoury meals reached your nostrils, filling you with delight as you felt your stomach rumble a little.

ace noticed you had been staring at the grilling barbecue meat and potatoes, and without a word, he grabbed a small plate and filled it with the recently cooked meals. he then approached you, sitting beside you as he handed the plate, “you did not eat yet and i could see how you were drooling at the sight of the grill.”

deuce quickly glanced at you as he continued grilling the potatoes while epel continued grilling the meat, grabbing your preferred sauce, and handing it to you as the heartslabyul first year smiled, “eat up, n/n. we still have plenty of food to grill.”

“thanks, guys, but this is a lot. i can’t finish this,” you spoke as you looked at the filled-up plate. ace grabbed some utensils and said with a teasing grin, “who says you’re eating that alone? now, scooch over.”

“the karaoke is all good!” announced jack as he and sebek stood by the window of the lounge with a proud smile. the karaoke machine was seen behind them as it was flickering colourful lights to indicate that it was on. “i’ve updated the song list, too!” added ortho, causing epel and ace to cheer in delight, feeling excited to just start singing with drinks and barbecues on the table.

“let’s eat first before we sing our hearts out,” recommended deuce as he continued grilling the potatoes. “more like annoy people,” corrected epel with a soft snicker as he continued grilling the meat.

as you all ate to your heart’s content, evening came rather quickly. laughter and light-hearted bickering filled the atmosphere as you enjoyed your drinks and meals with your batchmates. as soon as the sun had set, ace decided to use his magic to put up some lights in the area – to impress, perhaps, or to fish out compliments.

“oohh, that’s more like it. now, i can see if a certain paw tries to steal my food again,” remarked epel before grim huffed. “you were not even eating it, so i did the meat a favour and devoured it!” spoke the cat-monster as the rest of you chuckled.

after a few minutes, you were conversing with sebek about the books he lent you a week ago. he was seated beside you, the grill settled on his other side as it remained closed after having all your meals. your conversation was unfortunately cut short by a sudden loud singing.

(1) “🎶 YOU CAN RELAX MY FRIE—”

“not yet! the instrumental isn’t even playing yet,” exclaimed epel as he laughed, stopping ace from singing with no background music. deuce chuckled while ortho had a smile on as he spoke, “ace trappola-san is just excited to sing!”

“the lyrics he sang did not match his current demeanour, though,” remarked jack.

“ortho is right! come on, epel, play it already! i’ll show you all that i’ll get the highest points!” cheered ace as epel sighed, playing the instrumental as ace started singing. both you and sebek were already cut off from your conversation and listened to ace’s singing. as much as you wanted to tease him, he sings pretty well that you can help but sway to the beat.

after ace completed the song, the point system showed up and he got a perfect score, making him cheer, “WOOHH!!! told y’all so!” deuce sighed and stood up, snatching the microphone from ace as he spoke, “it’s too early to celebrate.”

deuce went through the track list, wanting to see which song he would start singing. it took a few seconds until he found the song he wanted to sing. as soon as the instrumental started playing, he started singing.

(2) “🎶 welcome to wonderland, we’ve got it all~ 🎶”

if you had a light stick, you would have been waving it. you enjoyed deuce’s performance, complimenting him once he was done singing as you liked how his voice sounded. he was bashful due to your compliment but remained calm as he thanked you.

as soon as deuce’s points showed on the screen, ace chuckled and said, “hah! you’re just 3 points lower than me!” deuce huffed as he retorted back in reply, “i-i didn’t give it my all, okay!” ace laughed in response, “nah, i’m kidding. there’s actually a trick in getting the perfect score during karaoke.”

and with that, the heartslabyul first year shared his trade secret, but of course, he wanted something in return.

once that was done, it was jack’s turn to sing, but he declined the offer, “no, i don’t sing… it’s not my thing, you know.” his words made the rest of you let out disapproving groans as deuce practically shoved the microphone to him, “it’s all for fun, man! don’t worry, we won’t tease you.”

“hehehe…”

“ace, stop chuckling.”

as the rest continued bickering and laughing about, you remained seated with your arms crossed and a smile on your face, eyeing each and every one of them as thoughts swirled in your mind, finding peace, comfort, and happiness from just being surrounded by them, by the people you call your friends.

‘you always make me feel included... like i belong here...’

lyrics are taken from: 1 – Open Arms by Jorge Rivera-Herrans, Steven Dookie, and EPIC Ensemble from EPIC: The Musical – The Troy Saga 2 – Welcome to Wonderland by Anson Seabra

© twstgarden 2023 || please do not steal, translate without my permission, or use this to train a.i.

[v3nusxsky]

i’m not 100% sure your requests are open or if you’ve done this before but i’ve read some of your leonora lesso fics and i’m in love

i’m was wondering whether you could maybe right a little!lesso x caregiver!reader. they’re both teachers, maybe r is an ever

but tbh maybe just some hurt comfort <3

The Little Lion

*Authors note~ ahh little Leo and Agere is my life, may be horrid I am currently in a lecture for behaviour with a massive headache but I’m determined to catch up on writing fics*

Trigger warnings~ Agere little Leonora, cg y/n first time regression star struck Leonora

Prompt~see ask^^^

Being the Dean Of Evil wasn’t ever Leonora’s plans but it’s where she ended up and appeared to be amazing at her job. But was she evil? Or maybe just hurt deep down? The world would never know the pain she’d been through and just how she dealt with her pain. While she held her scary exterior inside lay a soft gooey core that is ever so fragile and to be protected at all costs.

Being evil for so long tends to drain the red head, and with her Never students acting up more, it was worse than ever before. No one knew of the tentative relationship you and Lesso had began, but the tension between you both was simply too hard to ignore and one night with a lot of alcohol had confession’s of truth spilling from you both. Agreeing to try this out but of course no one could know, not until you both knew it would work of course.

That was a couple of months ago and things had been going rather well. You being an Ever made things slightly harder but both of you worked to find ways to meet in secrecy and have subtle changes in your daily life’s when it came to communication. That’s why it wasn’t uncommon for you to sneak into the Deans room after hours. There would be no students to catch you and should a member of staff see you, then you had a well rehearsed reason to be there.

Entering her room tonight felt different but you couldn’t put you finger on the reason why. With a quick scan of the room you could see nothing was out of its place however, Leonora was no where to be found which is odd. Normally she’s waiting with a signature look that’s just for you as her eyes room your body just drinking in your beauty.

“Nora?” You murmured in a hope she would appear but all that greeted you was silence. Moving forward into her chamber you made your way to her sleeping area. “Nora, darling?” You mumbled before knocking and pushing the heavy oak door open, never in a million years would you have expected the sight in front of you.

In the bed, Leonora was dressed in fussy orange socks with a lion onesie, colouring some pages that looked to be animal prints. Clearly she was in her own little world and you almost felt bad for intruding. Almost. The way she was currently looking at you jade you feel you were more needed than ever before. Being an ever you knew exactly what was going on here.

“Hi darling, watcha got there?” You whispered to her before settling on the edge of her bed. But Leonora said nothing just staring at you with her mouth agape like she’d seen a unicorn or something equally as magical. You couldn’t help but chuckle at her star struck expression, “close your mouth darling, you’ll be catching flys in a minute.”

“Princess” the red head stated still absolutely entranced by you. “You think I’m a princess darling?” You happily fed into her statement hoping to gain her trust. “Pretty” was slurred around the woman’s thumb that had made its way between her lips. It was so obvious what was happening here. With a gasp you responded, “well thank you little darling. I think you’re pretty too.”

Silence fell over the room again, you didn’t mind of course, clearly Leonora needed this and now wasn’t the time to talk about what this was, so you settled for giving her whatever she needed from you in this moment. “Raw!” Lesso growled as she continued to scribble in a pen that could honestly rival the woman’s hair colour. “Such a cute little lion” you murmured to her causing her to smile, not smirk but smile at you and blush. Leonora Lesso doesn’t blush… but your little lion here seemed to be the opposite.

It wasn’t long before Leonora had shoved a pen at you and instructed that you colour in certain areas, “ands no out of lines!” She firmly reprimanded after you went ever so slightly went over the lines. “I’m so sorry little cub” you feigned a pout.

“Im not use to sharing I sorry, I fix it then pretty princess happy and loves Leo lion!” A childish slur causing words to blur together and just sounding adorable. “Thank you little cub, I still love you little lion, how could I not with this cute mane on your head hmm?” You whispered before ruffling the fake mane on the hood of the lion onesie.

It wasn’t long after that small interaction you could see her little balled up fists rubbing at her eyes, a clear indication that it was in fact past midnight. “Little lion, aren’t you getting sleepy yet?” You attempted not knowing how to bring this up with her. But luckily she nodded and crawled straight into your lap, her head nestled into your neck and a hand resting above your heart. It was clear you weren’t going anywhere tonight but opted to soothe Leonora to sleep so you could move the woman without disturbing her. Although the little version of Lesso was okay with you acting like a caregiver that didn’t mean Leonora was too. Your hand gently rubbed soothing circles on her back as you swayed your legs ever so slightly in hopes to comfort her. Just when you thought she’d drifted off you caught her sleepy mumble off, “thank you for looking after me princess.”

Word count ~ 1023

[wintaerbaer]

things we don’t say: part 3 (kth)

banner credit: @itaeewon

summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slooooow burn, angst, fluff

word count: 9.0k

chapter warnings: kook has literally zero chill (i’m so sorry about him), jimin channels his inner dominic toretto, taehyung is so sweet he’s giving me cavities, discussions of infidelity, swear words, namjoon still gives the best hugs

a/n: thanks for the patience in waiting for this one! for those who may have missed it, i ultimately opted to split this into two chapters, so now we’re looking at seven parts and an epilogue. :)

PREVIOUS // SERIES MASTERLIST // MASTERLIST

Read on ao3

"I can make you a drink?"

"It's noon."

"So?"

You sigh, slumping on the couch. "I appreciate it, Kook, but I'm just…" You stretch out, pressing your toes into his thigh. "Tired."

The week has gone by in a blur of tears and sleep. You'd taken the rest of the week off, thankful both that you had been carefully banking your PTO in case of an emergency and also for having a manager that prioritizes empathy and mental health. When you'd practically had a breakdown explaining your situation over the phone, she'd quickly granted you the time off—no questions asked—and told you to take care of yourself.

It's been mostly your friends taking care of you, however. After the night you came back from the beach house, you'd been whisked away to the guys' apartment to stay with them, camping out on their pull-out couch, which they’d insisted you could have for as long as you want (Taehyung had pushed you to take his bed, offering to stay in the living room, but you'd begged him not to make you feel worse by displacing him, and he'd eventually acquiesced). Maya and Taehyung had then gone back late the next day to pack you a bag with no Jace encounters.

He'd only texted you once—to provide a weak apology and to let you know he'd clear out of the apartment.

Still, your plan is to stay with the guys for a while; you don't think you could bear to be in your apartment alone right now, especially knowing that Jace has been with someone else in your bed. It's like the image is seared behind your eyelids, tormenting you every time you blink and pushing your mental fortitude to its absolute limit. You haven’t made it a single day without a breakdown, feeling as though you’re constantly trying to walk an emotional tightrope.

Except the tightrope isn’t pulled taut and is also on fire.

That being said, you welcome the distraction of having your friends around. Between Jimin working days, Jungkook working nights, and Taehyung having a flexible schedule with the museum and his photography gigs, someone is always around to spend time with you. Maya’s also taken it upon herself to pop in almost every night with wine, chocolate, or some other variation of breakup food and hang out for a while. You'd feel bad about their attentiveness (you feel sometimes like they're babysitting you), if not for the fact that it's the only thing keeping you remotely sane as you fluctuate between sobs and an overwhelming numbness.

This Sunday afternoon, it's Jungkook's turn to babysit; Taehyung left to run some errands an hour ago, while Jimin slept in late and is currently taking a shower. Jungkook's reclined on the sofa next to you, longs legs stretched out in front of him with his fingers laced behind his head. You'd thrown on a TV movie—some bullshit about a woman who goes through trials of love, only to realize that her perfect man was hidden in plain sight the entire time.

If only life were that fucking easy.

"Do you want an ice cream sundae?" Jungkook suggests as the credits roll. "I can make you an ice cream sundae."

"Are you just suggesting things that make your twelve-year-old brain happy?"

His lower lip pushes out in thought. "No, if I was going to suggest things that cheer me up when I'm sad, I'd offer to go down on you—"

"What the fuck, Kook."

"Which I'm game if you are, but I didn't think you liked me like that."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass."

"Suit yourself."

"Leave her alone, idiot. She's fragile." Jimin steps into the living room from the hall, fully dressed but still towel drying his hair. He takes in your relaxed forms on the couch—you, halfway burrowed under multiple blankets—and frowns. "You're not dressed yet?"

You blink slowly at him. "Should I be?"

"Yeah, Kook and I are taking you somewhere." He looks over at the man sitting beside you. "You didn't tell her?"

Jungkook's mouth stretches into a wide grin. "Surprise!"

You're still processing what the hell is happening—your plans for today were to park yourself in this spot and not leave—when Jimin strides over and yanks the blankets off of your body.

"Chim!"

"C'mon, get dressed. We have an appointment," he says. "And wear something comfortable. You're gonna love it, I promise."

A half hour later and you’re sitting in the back of Jungkook’s black Mercedes, watching the city pass by outside your window. Now that you’re up, it does feel nice to be out of the apartment instead of wallowing inside on the couch with a tissue box in your lap (which had been the general trend of the past week). Even listening to Jungkook and Jimin bickering about navigation up front helps to distract you from the dread that lingers like a blanket draped over your shoulders. All-in-all, you feel like you’re managing the fallout of your relationship as best as one can—at least when they find their almost-fiancé in bed with another woman. But grieving the loss still means that you’ve barely eaten, barely slept, and it’s not long before you’re dozing off in the backseat, dreaming of college—of sandy brown hair and green eyes.

You wake to Jimin’s hand on your shoulder gently shaking you out of your nap.

“Hey, we’re here.”

You’re on the outskirts of the city, it seems, in front of a squat, gray building that looks almost like a tiny warehouse. Peering up at the neon sign, you read, “Smash City Rage Room?”

“Cool, right?” Jungkook says, leaning against the side of the car.

You can physically feel the lines stretching across your forehead. “I don’t get it. We’re going to…?”

“Break stuff!” He takes your hand to pull you along. “Let’s go!”

You're led into a small, unassuming lobby—flat gray like the outside. Jimin gets you checked in with a burly-looking man behind a desk, who (after you’ve all signed some suspicious-looking release forms) promptly brings the three of you to a back room where you're fitted with protective jumpsuits, helmets, and goggles and instructed to "choose a weapon" from a rack filled with baseball bats and sledgehammers. At this point, Jungkook is practically bouncing out of his skin, the absolute picture of a golden retriever waiting for a ball to be thrown.

"You guys are really trying to distract me by taking me to Kook's version of Disneyland, huh?"

"That depends, is it working?" he says, grasping one of the hammers and weighing it in his hands.

"I'm skeptical but open-minded."

"Perfect!"

He hands you a bat, and your brawny host leads you to your final room—a wide, concrete space with a sturdy table in the middle and piles and piles of objects. Wine glasses, dinner plates, a computer monitor, and even a flat screen TV sit in heaps along the walls amongst some broken shards from previous visitors.

"You're free to smash anything in the room," the muscle man says in a gruff voice, "just no intentional damage to the building's structure. If you need something, you can flag us down through the camera up there," he points to the device in one of the ceiling's corners, "and someone will come check on you. Otherwise, just be safe and have fun. We'll come get you after an hour." Then he's swinging the door shut behind him.

You look blankly at the two men in front of you. "Now what?"

"We smash!" Jungkook says happily, already dragging the flat-screen onto the table. Then, before you can even respond: "Not like that, Y/N. Get your mind out of the gutter." He swings the sledgehammer down onto the TV screen, and it caves in on itself as Jungkook giggles maniacally.

"We thought this might help to let off steam," Jimin says, cracking a smile as he slams his bat into a propped up picture frame. "Try it!"

The two of them watch with wide, expectant eyes as you gingerly pick up a small drinking glass and place it delicately on the table.

"So now I just…?" You halfway lift the baseball bat, peering down at the poor, unassuming glass in front of you.

Jungkook leans forward, eyes eager, gesturing with the hammer in a light swinging motion he's clearly wanting you to mimic.

So you swing, bringing the bat down onto the lip of the glass with a moderate amount of force. It shatters, pieces flying outwards like little slivers of shrapnel.

It feels good.

The guys cheer, and Jimin reaches down to grab a champagne glass, setting it in front of you.

"Now pretend this one is that asshole's balls."

You hesitate, the mention of Jace causing the fist that's been around your heart to squeeze. You're angry with him, sure, fury simmering in your belly even now. But your biggest struggle and the source of all of your pain this week has been wrangling with your lingering feelings. Four years of loving someone are not so easily erased.

But you wish you could wipe it all from your mind.

You wish you could hate him.

"Let it out," Jimin murmurs, as you continue to stare, your hands gripping the bat. "This is the place."

You visualize Jace's face in your mind. His bright green eyes, his crooked smile, the tiny scar on his forehead from when he fell off his bike when he was nine. You can practically hear his voice whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

And then you see him in bed a week ago, his lips pressed to another woman's neck.

The champagne glass explodes like a small bomb into a million tiny crystals.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Jungkook yells, and it’s then that you realize that you were the one who swung the bat.

Your body is a live wire, pumping with adrenaline and a newfound rage. Before you know it, you don’t even have the patience to pick up the objects and place them on the table. Instead, you’re spinning around in a whirlwind, destroying plates and glasses and small kitchen appliances indiscriminately.

“This is for all of the lies about late nights!”

BOOM.

“This is for the fact that I’ve barely been able to breathe this past week!”

CRASH.

“This is for that dumb-ass crooked smile like he thinks he’s the star of some shitty movie!”

WHAM.

“And this is for that stupid, fucking green jacket.”

You channel all of your anger through the bat—every tear, every minute of lost sleep turned into shards of glass and debris. The tears come at some point, but you barely feel them as you scream out your frustrations, Jimin and Jungkook cheering you on the whole time.

It’s not a magical cure-all by any means, but you do feel a tiny bit of relief ease itself into your shoulders.

An hour later, you embrace both men in the parking lot. “Thank you,” you say, “for everything you guys have been doing for me. I needed this.”

Jimin shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Hey, I owed you for that time when I got passed over for promotion, and you brought me to Bar 613 and paid for all my drinks.”

“I just wanted to smash stuff,” Jungkook teases with a grin, but he rubs playfully at your upper back to let you know he’s kidding.

Jimin’s phone chirps with a notification, and he pulls it out of his pocket, squinting at the screen before muttering, “Hmm, Tae’s not ready yet.”

“Ready for what?” you ask, a feeling creeping in that your day of surprise distractions isn’t quite over.

“You’ll see soon enough.” Jimin’s knowing smile twinkles with mischief. “In the meantime, what do you say we get some ice cream?”

“What do you mean you’re not coming?”

You’d returned from your rage room and ice cream outing only for Jungkook to swing his car into the “No Parking” zone outside the apartment and promptly kick you out to the curb, a pair of impish smiles flashing at you from the front seats.

“We have strict instructions to stay clear of the apartment for the next several hours,” Jimin chimes. “So we’re going to entertain ourselves for a while.”

You narrow your eyes at them, knowing they’re not going to spill but making a feeble attempt anyway. “What did he do?”

“Go find out!” Jimin says, just as Jungkook shouts, “Bye!” and rolls up the window right in your face.

You enter the building with a sigh, swinging the plastic bag from your wrist that holds the takeout container of rocky road that you’d gotten for Taehyung. A part of you wants to be whiny about your friends making such a fuss for you, working so hard to cheer you up, but at the end of the day, you just feel loved. Tomorrow, you may wake up with a hollow chest, your heart scraped out in the middle of the night as it has been for every day the past week, but for now, you let a little flame of happiness warm your insides.

You do hope, though, that Taehyung didn’t go through too much trouble for whatever he has planned for tonight. He’s already spent a majority of the past week hovering, holding you when you cry, and otherwise keeping a close watch on your moods. And in spite of him trying to be subtle, you’ve noticed how he doesn’t close his bedroom door all the way at night so he can listen for you.

He’s a great friend, the best, but the fact that you care about him, too, means that you don’t necessarily want to burden him, don’t want to be the source of his worry.

It sucks that you’re doing a shit job of it.

Probably just a movie night, you think during the elevator ride up. Like we’d do in college.

But when you slip the key into the lock and slide the door open, your heart immediately leaps into your throat, the bag of ice cream almost slipping from your fingers.

The apartment has been positively upended, furniture rearranged, flipped, stacked, and draped with blankets to create a massive pillow fort in the middle of the living room. It has to be almost eight feet tall, and you wonder what the rest of the rooms look like as you spy all three of the guys’ desk chairs incorporated into the structure—clearly, the entire apartment was raided to create this behemoth. Around the dining room and kitchen, dozens of candles have been placed and lit to give the open space an ambient glow, accentuated by the lowering sun dipping down outside the massive windows.

When the door swings itself to latch shut with a soft click, there’s a rustling sound before Taehyung’s head pops out of the fort, and he beams as he comes to stand in front of you.

“What do you think?” he hums as you continue to stare incredulously at the scene behind him. You try to say something, you should say something, but tears begin to flow over your cheeks instead, causing the room to blur and Taehyung to pull you into a hug. “Okay, I have to admit this is the opposite of what I was going for.”

You press a watery chuckle into his chest. “This is incredible,” you gasp, shifting back to look at him.

“I’m glad you think so,” he says. “And that’s not even all. Come look.”

He guides you to the kitchen, where you now notice the counters are littered with all of your favorite comfort foods alongside the snacks you used to share growing up: sugar cookies and popcorn, potato chips and pretzels, brownies and bite-sized chocolates.

“Just like old times. And—“ He lifts the lid off a pot on the stove, and you’re quickly enveloped in the soothing scent of tomatoes and basil. “Spaghetti for dinner.”

It was the first meal you ever made together. In retrospect, the lumpy, acidic sauce you concocted in your parents’ kitchen that day was far from perfect. But at the time, you’d called it the best meal you’d ever eaten, and Taehyung has spent the subsequent years perfecting his own recipe. He doesn’t make it often, but when he does, it’s the perfect blend of nostalgia and warmth.

“And to think, all I brought you was this,” you say sadly, dangling the bag limply from your hand. But Taehyung snatches it from you in a flash, digging in like it’s a Christmas present. When he pulls out the papery white container, he grins like it’s much more than just half-melted ice cream.

“Rocky road?” he asks, smiling even more widely when you nod. “This is amazing, Y/N. Thank you.”

You study him quietly as he puts the ice cream away in the freezer—just to soak in this beautiful, home-shaped human being—and he raises his eyebrows at you when he turns back around.

“What?” he asks, the corners of his mouth twitching like he’s trying to hide yet another smile.

Heat rushes to your cheeks as you glance away. “Nothing.”

But the truth is, standing here in his kitchen, observing his tender movements as he carefully rearranges the snacks on the counter top—it’s the first time in a week that you’ve been able to breathe. And maybe it’s just because it’s been days of suffocating pressure around your chest, but the air pushing through your lungs now feels sweeter, richer as he looks up to capture your gaze again and gently takes your hand in his.

“Come see the inside.”

He pulls you to the mass of furniture and blankets, sweeping back an opening in the fabric to usher you in, and you gasp as he reveals the pillow fort of your childhood dreams.

It’s massive, tall enough for you to stand comfortably in, with wide walls and a tented ceiling that seems to suggest Taehyung has somehow tethered it to the apartment’s actual ceiling. The floor is absolutely packed with pillows, cushions, and heaps of additional blankets, and if you aren’t mistaken, there’s a literal mattress (maybe two?) buried underneath it all.

But the part that has your throat constricting on a sob, tears streaming once again, is the tiny side table he’s placed to the side, your star lamp glowing on top.

“How did—“ you choke, still taking it all in. The fort, the snacks, the lamp. “How did you—?”

“Found the lamp in your closet when we went to get you that bag of clothes.”

“And,” you wave a weak hand at the scene around you, “all of this?”

“Chugged a couple energy drinks,” he chuckles. “And Maya came by for a bit earlier to lend a hand.”

“Tae,” you say, wiping at your cheeks.

“Y/N.”

“This is…” Beautiful. Magical. Extraordinary. No single word seems adequate enough to describe what you’re feeling, his recreation of your childhood tradition to the nth degree tipping you into a state of practical euphoria after the hell of a week you’ve just had. You’d swear you feel like you’re about to combust with the amount of relief that’s flooding through your body in this moment, anger and grief giving way to joy and an overwhelming sense of fondness for the man in front of you.

You never complete your sentence, but Taehyung still seems to grasp your meaning, reaching out to squeeze your fingers one last time in a gesture of acknowledgment and understanding before he simply says, “Let’s eat.”

The two of you gather yourselves heaping bowls of pasta before burrowing into your pillow fortress, backs pressed up against the couch, which is being used to support one side of it.

“How was the rage room?” Taehyung asks, tomato sauce staining his lips.

“Surprisingly cathartic. But…”

“But?”

You rub at your temple before letting your hand fall in a huff. “Temporary. It all is. Every time I think I’m getting a moment to catch my breath, I feel like I’m being punched in the chest a second later.”

“It’s only been a week,” he says. “You’re grieving. It’s going to take time.”

“I don’t want it to though,” you snap, immediately regretting your tone, even though Taehyung looks unfazed. “I just want to turn it off. He did this terrible thing, and I should hate him for it. I want to hate him for it.”

“But you don’t,” Taehyung says, jaw clenching.

Throat swelling, you choke on the words as they find their way out. “I thought I was going to marry him.” The all-too-familiar pressure in your chest rears its head again, suffocating you from the inside. “We had all these plans.” Your breaths turn shallow, coming out in short, rough pants quickly joined by tears that Taehyung rushes to wipe away.

You’ve never known love could hurt like this until now, and for all intents and purposes, Jace was your first real love. You’d had a smattering of boyfriends in high school, but never anything long term until him—nothing that ever made your heart feel like it was going through a shredder, a blender, and a hurricane all at once when it ended. And it’s not just your idea of him or your relationship that you’re mourning, but also the future that you thought you’d have together. The dreams you had dared to dream when you’d traded ideas of rings and children and white picket fences while tangled together in bed.

Sensing an imminent panic attack, Taehyung pulls you into his lap and loops his arms around you, coasting his hands up and down your back in long strokes. He’s done this every time you’ve broken down around him over the past several days, the physical sensation giving you something else to focus on when the thoughts and memories of your now-ex come flooding through the mental barriers you’ve been trying and failing to construct.

You concentrate instead on the ministrations of Taehyung’s hands, the warmth of his large palms resting over your shirt, the glide of his fingers tracing your spine over and over. His fingertips trail up to your neck (inhale) and back down to your sacrum (exhale) on a loop as you clutch the soft fabric of his own shirt. And as the dread looming under your skin begins to ebb away, you notice how your breathing has synced up, pressed chest to chest like you’re two halves of one whole. It’s calming, the light press of his ribcage expanding against yours, and it serves as enough of a distraction to get yourself under control, your feelings stuffed back into their box for the time being.

When you lean back to look at him, his dark brown eyes map your face, steady as ever.

“Better?”

“Better.” You nod weakly. “But life would still be so much easier if love worked like a switch.”

His brow tilts downward a fraction, a touch of melancholy passing over his face. “If only.”

“That makes me an idiot though, right?” you ask. “To still feel for him even after that.”

“No, it makes you human,” Taehyung says, before his expression suddenly turns grave. “Has he contacted you?”

You sniffle, rubbing at your nose. “Nothing besides that one text saying he would clear out of the apartment.”

“Good,” he murmurs. “Listen, I think everything you’re feeling is normal, and you shouldn’t put any pressure on yourself to process it any particular way.” A pink tongue swipes over his bottom lip. “But please, Y/N. Please promise me you’ll never take him back if he asks.”

Truth be told, the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind until now—imagining a teary Jace on your doorstep, begging you to give him just one more chance. In spite of your lingering feelings for him, the image only stirs up a dull rage, disgust burning like acid in your stomach.

“Not a chance,” you say, twining your pinky around his for a brief moment, and he visibly relaxes, leaning back against the couch. “I don’t think I ever want to see him again. But it…it hurts.”

You struggle to pull in a breath that doesn’t want to come, chin dipping down to your chest before Taehyung begins to move. Long fingers reach out to squeeze your hips before nimbly dancing down to your ankles bracketing his legs, where they give you another squeeze. He works his way up your body from there, moving his hands to your knees. Squeeze. Your ribs. Squeeze. Your shoulders. Squeeze. Elbows. Squeeze. Wrists. Squeeze.

He’s pinching each joint of your fingers between the pads of his own when you finally ask, “Tae? What are you doing?”

He doesn’t even look up, zoned in on his task. “Putting you back together.”

“Is that how it works?”

“Yeah, Hobi and Joon have been giving me lessons.”

You snort, and it appears to be the reaction he was hoping for because he beams up at you as you keen forward with laughter until you’re practically sharing breath, faces mere inches apart.

Time freezes; something in the universe shifts.

Your eyes wander over his face, tracing the paths between details that you subconsciously know are there but which you’re not sure you’ve ever truly looked at: the deep brown of his eyes, the mole on the tip of his nose, the plush curve of his lower lip.

He’s beautiful. It’s something you’ve always been aware of—an obvious fact of life in the same way the sky is blue—but you’re also lucky enough to know that his beauty goes beyond a handsome face. It’s also in the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs with his whole body, the way he always carries crackers in his bag for photo shoots at the park so he can toss some to the ducks.

The way he’ll upend his entire apartment to help heal your broken heart.

Artificial stars dance around the fabric walls like fireflies as you become hyperaware of how his hands have drifted back to your hips, barely there but warm. It’s soothing, you think, to be held between the boundaries of his palms, as if nothing and no one can touch you here. But it’s always been that way, hasn’t it? He’s always been your primary source of comfort, your north star at every turn, propping you up within the safety of your own little world like he does now.

His warmth is a siren’s song that has you shifting closer, your hands sliding from his chest to his shoulders, when his grip on your hips suddenly tightens as he breathes out your name.

“Mmm?”

“We have snacks to get to.”

The bubble pops as Taehyung shifts you off his lap, darting away to the kitchen. You, however, stay firmly rooted to your spot in the blanket fort; your mind whirs, an unfamiliar tingling sensation gently working its way through your nerve endings and making your stomach dip. It’s not at all unpleasant, but you don’t know what to make of it, thoughts turning without reaching any kind of foregone conclusion until Taehyung ducks back under the blanket and into your space, arms overflowing with snack bags.

He smiles at you and your stomach dips again.

But your mind quiets.

He’s your person, you think. Undoubtedly now more than ever as he settles back down next to you like the rock he’s always been.

“Story time?” he murmurs, the light passing across his face as he hands you a bag of your favorite chips. You gently place it in your lap without opening it, still jittery from the way he held you only seconds ago. Watching you with hooded eyes, he frowns at your lack of movement, the way your fingers have stilled on the plastic. “Something wrong?”

“No,” you say, sitting up straighter so he doesn’t feel like you’re ignoring him. “Wouldn’t be a blanket fort without a story, right?”

If you didn’t know any better, you’d say the light on the walls is now radiating from Taehyung himself as he launches into a clearly premeditated narrative about a princess and her devoted, best friend of a knight. After being betrayed by a prince from a neighboring realm, the two embark on an epic journey to restore their own kingdom, traversing mountains and crossing oceans together to retrieve the enchanted crown jewel that the thieving prince had stolen away. Another handsome and charming prince captures the princess’s heart during their adventure, and, once her power is restored, the two marry in the most beautiful and romantic ceremony the kingdom has ever seen.

“And they live happily ever after,” Taehyung says with a flourish. He reaches over to steal a handful of potato chips before slipping a hand behind his head and settling deeper into the mattress. You frown down at him.

“But what about the knight?”

He slides a potato chip between his lips, lifting a dark eyebrow in confusion. “What about him?”

“Where’s his happily ever after?” you ask, almost annoyed on the fictional character’s behalf. “He climbed a mountain and fought a dragon for her. What did the prince do? Just stand there and look hot?”

His expression changes, eyes widening in subtle surprise. “It’s not his story.”

“But—“

“It’s not his story, Y/N.”

He says it with finality, so you drop it, left to grumble internally about what you feel was an unjust ending for the caring and loyal knight.

It was a sweet tale, but you can’t help but think that you would’ve written it differently.

The return to work isn't as bad as you anticipated. Your boss, Jia, noticing your frayed nerves, has been easing you back in slowly with a handful of softball projects just to get you going again. As much as you think you needed that week to cry and wallow, it feels good to get back to some form of normalcy and have work to focus on and keep your mind off of things as much as you can.

The shadows linger though, anxiety grabbing hold of your chest every time you remember you'll be going home to a different apartment that night instead of the one you shared with Jace.

Jimin's been joining you for lunch every day, hanging around outside the office cafeteria before you get there like he's staking you out. You call him out for it on Thursday, and he looks sheepishly down at the table with a nervous chuckle.

"I kinda promised Tae I'd make sure you eat."

"Of course," you sigh. Taehyung's been getting up early every morning to cook both of you breakfast, insisting that it's part of his normal routine.

He forgets that you used to live together, and you know he's more of a granola bar guy in the morning, eager to get himself out the door and moving as soon as possible.

"You're all doing too much for me," you murmur. "You shouldn't have to babysit me like—"

"We don't have to do anything," Jimin says forcefully. "We want to be there for you. We do these things because we care about you."

"I know, but I just…" You swallow hard. "I don't want you all to see me as this broken thing that you need to protect."

Jimin's whole demeanor softens, and he reaches across the table to take your hand. You'd be worried about how this looks—two coworkers holding hands at lunch—if you didn't feel the tears welling up again, the urge to cry sticking itself in your throat like molasses as you try to choke it down.

"Y/N, that's not what we think," he says softly. "You're our friend. And you're hurting. And after the trauma you went through, it's perfectly understandable for you to need a little more attention and care than usual. Honestly, if anything, I'm worried that you seem to be taking things better than expected, and I think that's because you're trying to put a brave face on for us sometimes."

He’s not off-base. Especially after your Distraction Day, you've been doing your best these past few days to bottle everything down so your friends don't worry as much, taking your time to cry in the shower or quietly at night when everyone else is asleep.

"All I'm saying is that you can lean on us. That's what we're here for. And if your tough face can't fool me, you're definitely not fooling Tae. Let him help before he goes crazy with worry.”

Honestly, relying on Tae has been the least of your problems, even though you’re a little concerned about how he’s been waking up earlier than usual for you. That man has been your rock for years, and receiving comfort from him is almost second-nature at this point. It’s how the two of you operate. Everyone else, however…

“I’m fine with Tae,” you tell him. “But I’ve never felt this…vulnerable around the rest of you. It used to just be Tae and I, hiding away from our problems in my room, and now—“

“You have us!” He beams. “That’s a beautiful thing, Y/N, can’t you see? You’re not alone anymore. Not you, not Tae. You have us. All of us. We’re going to get you through this. And if you need a silver lining, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Jungkook and Maya this united against a common enemy before. I could’ve sworn I heard them the other night trying to figure out the best way to slash Jace’s tires without getting caught.”

“Don’t make me cry at work,” you say, blinking furiously to try and clear the sudden moisture from your eyes. “I think Jia is already prepared to send me home if I don’t stop sounding like I’m learning how to breathe for the first time.”

He laughs gently, giving your hand a squeeze before relinquishing it. “It’s going to get better, Y/N. I know I just called you our friend, but really, we’re family.”

The summer presses on in a haze as you focus on just getting through one day, one step at a time: get out of bed, go to work, come home, shower, try to get a few hours of fitful sleep, eat somewhere in between all of that. And before you know it, an entire month has passed.

Taehyung continues to make you breakfast every morning and insists on taking you to your favorite ramen place at least twice a week for dinner, watching you with concerned eyes from across the table. You’d give him shit for it if his worry didn’t feel so justified. If he wasn’t so persistent in making sure your base needs were being met, you’re not entirely sure you can say you wouldn’t be starving yourself in grief. And you know it makes him feel better to see you eating—how happy it makes him to care for others—so you don’t resist when he pushes an extra pancake onto your plate or orders you a second helping of noodles to go.

It’s one of your scheduled ramen nights when you get back from work a little later, a particularly emotional day preventing you from getting your tasks done on time. You drop your bag in the living room with a sigh, thankful that no one is around to ask you how your day was—you’re really not in the mood. Taehyung had sent you a text letting you know that he wanted to take a shower before you head out, needing one after a long day of photographing clients in the baking July heat. You can hear water running in the bathroom, so you assume he must still be in there.

The living room makes you feel vulnerable with its vaulted ceiling and tall windows, like you’re laid bare for the whole world to see. Because of this, you decide to wait for Taehyung in his bedroom, hopeful that you might be able to find some reprieve in his tucked-away space.

You’ve been in Taehyung’s room before, of course, but you’re not sure that you’ve ever taken the time to really peruse. Unlike Jace, Taehyung’s space is neatly organized, and you’re first drawn to the large bookcase that dominates the wall adjacent to the door. He’s stuffed it full of art anthologies: Van Gogh, Renoir, Monet, and Pollock giving way to old photography textbooks on the bottom shelves. About halfway down, you spot the bound collection of his own work that you’d had made for him as a college graduation gift (you got one for yourself too, and he’d blushed beautifully when you asked him to sign it).

Across the room, his bed is carefully made, dark bedding tucked cleanly under the mattress. In place of a nightstand and opposite the dresser, he’s set up a series of box shelves for his photography equipment—you spot lenses and tripods placed alongside gadgets you would have no idea how to use. His desk sits to the left, an impressive PC setup backed by a large cork-board brimming with post-it notes, business cards, and a photograph that has you stopping in your tracks.

The first photograph Taehyung ever took.

It’d been the spring right after you both turned sixteen, and Taehyung had finally saved up enough money from his newspaper job to buy his first camera at the secondhand shop. You’d gone along, bouncing up and down with excitement for him so vigorously that the shopkeeper kept giving you strange looks over the counter.

New toy in hand, Taehyung pulled you to the park, where the cherry blossoms were in full bloom—clusters of pastel pink contrasting wonderfully against the bright blue sky. You bought yourselves some kkwabaegi at a nearby food stall as Taehyung sat on a bench figuring out how to operate the camera. Distracted by the numerous dials and buttons, he didn’t even realize you had returned until you dusted his cheek with a bit of cinnamon sugar, teasing that his cheeks were just as fluffy as the donut you subsequently handed him with a smile.

Snacks finished, you strolled along the petal covered path, chatting about everything and nothing as Taehyung continued to fiddle with the controls.

“Are you going to be able to figure it out?” you asked, skipping ahead to pluck a wildflower out of the grass after several minutes had passed without him taking a single photo.

“Actually, I think I’ve just got it.”

“Really?” you said, turning around to face him and freezing at the sound of a click and the sight of the camera held at the ready in front of his face. His grin was full of mischief as he dropped his arms at your stunned look, and you rushed back to his side to give him a joking shove. “I wasn’t ready, you jerk. I’m going to look like an idiot.”

But Taehyung was still smiling widely, already striding down the path to line up his next shot. “Don’t worry. You looked perfect.”

You’d forgotten about the photograph after that day, as Taehyung never actually showed it to you. You figured that it probably didn’t turn out right, a blurry candid, and was scrapped. Now, looking at it, it’s not his best work, but it’s not nearly as bad as you’d pictured in the moment.

It’s you, backdropped by the pink of the blossoms, with delicate petals dancing around your form. Your eyes are bright and eager as you turn to face him, the corners of your lips upturned in the beginnings of a smile and the small purple flower raised halfway to your chest.

In spite of the struggles you know you were dealing with at home, you look content. Happy.

“Oh, you’re home.”

You jump, spinning around to face where Taehyung suddenly stands just inside the doorway, and you feel something flip low in your belly.

It’s not that you’ve never seen him shirtless—years of going to the beach house together have taken care of that—but here, in the low, intimate light of his bedroom, the sight of his mostly naked body strikes you in a way that it never has before. The veins in his arms and hands pop from the heat of the shower, skin tanned by his time spent outdoors. His dark hair is still wet and, as if on cue, a drop of water falls off the end of a ringlet, your eyes following as it rolls over sharp collarbones, down a toned chest and smooth stomach, and into the towel sitting low on his hips.

Taehyung clears his throat, and one look at his flushed face tells you that your perusal of his torso hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Why are you even looking?

“I—uh—sorry,” you mumble, snapping out of your trance also flustered, words spilling out in a jumble of unexpected nerves. “I had a rough day and just felt so exposed in the living room, and if Jimin or Kook showed up and asked me how I was, I was going to lose it so I came in here as a distraction, and I promise I wasn’t trying to snoop or anything—“

“Y/N, hey.” He crosses the room to where you stand, smiling gently down at you. “I don’t mind.”

You swallow, still looking for something to distract from the fact that you were very obviously just checking him out. “You still have this?” You point at the photo of yourself, and he looks at it, expression overcome with sentimentality.

“Yeah.”

“A reminder of how far you’ve come with your work?”

He turns his eyes back to yours, slow and warm as they settle on you. “A reminder of a perfect day,” he says, voice low, before creases form at his brow. “But your day wasn’t so good?”

Your gaze drops to the floor, and you suck your lips between your teeth in a gesture that is answer enough for him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He doesn’t push; never pushes. If you told him no, you know that’d be the end of it, and he’d spend the rest of your night together coming up with different threads of conversation to divert your attention. And perhaps it’s this awareness—his consistent and mindful respect of your boundaries—that makes you so willing to open up.

“I just can’t stop asking myself if I missed signs. If I could’ve done something different. Something better.”

“Y/N—“

“We were together four years, Tae. Four fucking years.” You pull in a breath, fighting off the stinging of tears in your eyes. “And in the end, I meant next to nothing to him.”

It’s the part you’ve been struggling with the most, how you gave him years of your life—nearly half of your twenties—and let him dig his fingers into your heart only to pull it apart like clay.

Revealed bits of yourself to him that you’ve only ever showed one other person.

That man stands in front of you now, gently scrutinizing your face as he considers your words. His hands drift your way as if of their own accord, hovering into your space without ever truly touching.

“Would you want to though?” he finally asks.

“What?”

“If you could’ve done something differently. Knowing what you know now.” A pink tongue darts out to lick his lips. “Would you?”

It’s a fair question, and you know what the right answer is supposed to be. You’re supposed to say that no, that son of a bitch can burn in hell for what he did. He’s trash, you can do better—all of the empty platitudes that are supposed to be expressed when a betrayal like this takes place.

But his actions don’t erase the years you spent together. Don’t mean that what you yourself felt wasn’t real.

And you loved him. You really did.

“I don’t know.”

Taehyung doesn’t exactly seem thrilled by that but nods nonetheless, his fingers wandering back to his sides to fidget with the edges of his towel. “You must know that none of it was your fault, though.”

“But if it was?” you question. “If I could’ve been a better girlfriend, a better partner—“

“It still wouldn’t have justified what he did.” There’s an edge to his voice now, a hint of anger. “Don’t you dare let that asshole make you feel like you deserved it.”

“But—“

“No. No buts,” he says roughly, hands shooting up to grip you around the elbows. “What he did is inexcusable. There’s no making sense of it, and there’s no one to blame but him.”

You know in your heart that what he says is true, but your newfound insecurities have had you questioning your sense of self—that maybe you had a part to play in what happened. A relationship is two people after all, maybe he wouldn’t have cheated if you had—

“You did nothing wrong,” Taehyung continues, reading your mind. “He made an active choice to sleep with someone else. If he had an issue with your relationship, he had a hundred other ways to approach it. He chose to do what he did.” His hands slide up to your shoulders, appraising. “You are kind and thoughtful. Fiercely loyal. Always want what’s best for those around you. You still get breathless for the first snowfall each winter and make the most delicious triple chocolate cake.” Fingers give you a gentle squeeze. “And you never take shit from anyone. Especially people who don’t give you the respect you deserve.”

His words are a balm sinking deep into your skin, but his voice sets something alight in your core, your veins thrumming at the spots where he holds you.

What in the world is this?

“Don’t let him convince you you’re anything less than the incredible person you are,” Taehyung continues, oblivious to your perplexed state. “And if he couldn’t value that, someone else will. Lots of other fish in the sea.”

He holds your stare, gaze boring into you like he can telepathically eliminate every doubt and insecurity rattling around your skull, and a stray voice at the back of your mind thinks that whichever woman eventually gets to wake up to those eyes every morning is going to be so damn lucky.

He frowns, licking his lips again as he finally notices that you’re not altogether with him. “Are you okay?”

Y/N, what the hell?

You give yourself a little shake, playing back what he just said. “I don’t know about that.”

“You’re not okay?”

“No,” you say, taking a step back so you can loosen his grip and clear your head. “About the whole fish thing. I kind of get it now.”

He’s clearly not following. “Get what?”

“Your break from dating,” you say. “Why you wanted to stop for a while.”

He raises a long finger to rub at his bottom lip. “That’s…not quite the same.”

“Why not?”

“There were…” He tilts his head as he considers his word choice, and another drop of water slides down his chest. “Underlying circumstances.”

Now it’s your turn to be confused. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means it’s a story for another time when you’re not trying to deflect by turning this around on me.”

“I’m not deflecting,” you argue. “I’m just saying I understand where you’re coming from now. Dating sucks. People suck.”

He chews at the inside of his lip, studying you. “That wasn’t my intention when I told you that.”

“Yeah, well when you told me that, we didn’t know that my boyfriend was fucking another woman,” you scoff.

He sighs at your crude reminder. “There is a third option, you know.”

“What’s that?”

“Just let yourself be,” he says. “You don’t need to rush into anything either way. If something happens, it happens. If not, then no pressure to look for it. But maybe don’t close yourself off from opportunities entirely just because one bastard made a terrible decision.”

“Tae,” you begin with an exhausted, rattling breath. But he cuts you off, already anticipating your protest.

“I just know you, and I know you’ve always believed in love. Dreamed of finding ‘the one’ and settling down.” He wrinkles his nose. “Made that whole wedding mood board after Haneul kissed you for the first time when we were fifteen.”

That makes you laugh. “Hey, you helped me cut out the pictures.”

“I did.”

You look at each other for an instant, twin smiles reflected on your faces before yours falls. “I just don’t know.”

“And that’s fine,” he says kindly, gently. “It’s okay to need time, and it’s okay to want to step away from dating for a while. It would just be awful if he ruined that part of you, you know?” His voice lowers even further. “It’s a wonderful part of you.”

You feel warm all over, like the comfiest, fluffiest blanket has been draped around your shoulders.

Honestly, what would you even do without this man?

“You’re a great guy, Tae. Do you know that?”

He blushes, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, and a tingle runs down your spine before he finally looks away.

“We should get going,” he tells you. “Namjoon and Hobi said they’d meet us.”

You dip your head, the moment gone. “Okay, but I’d recommend putting on some pants first.”

His face turns a deeper shade of red.

“Over here!”

Hoseok waves you down from a table at the back of the restaurant, pulling you in for a hug once you get there, just as he has every time he’s seen you since the incident with Jace. You’re then passed along to Namjoon, who embraces you with almost bone-crushing pressure.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, swaying you side-to-side. You just nod into his chest, giving him a tight squeeze before he releases you so you can slide into the seat next to Taehyung.

Aside from the hugs and the fact that the entire dinner is a ploy by Taehyung to get you to eat, the night feels relatively normal, and you’re grateful for it. Hoseok and Namjoon dramatically complain about the perils of medical school, regaling the two of you with stories about catastrophic anatomy labs and exam mishaps to your and Taehyung’s delight. The first blip comes when Hoseok absent-mindedly mentions an all-nighter of studying for boards while simultaneously working on seating arrangements before he immediately cuts himself off, throwing you a remorseful look.

“It’s fine, Hobi,” you say. “The world doesn’t just stop because my relationship did. And I’m still excited for you and Sunny.”

He nods but still looks apologetic, causing Namjoon to hop in with a change of subject. “Oh, by the way, I have my roommate situation settled.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh, I’m moving in with my friend Yoongi at the end of the summer.”

“Your childhood friend?” Taehyung asks.

“That’s the one,” Namjoon confirms with a nod. “We’re planning on having a little housewarming party once we’re settled if you’ll be up for it.”

“Sounds fun,” you say. “And I’d like to meet him.”

“He’s a great guy. Musician. He’s moving into the city for work.”

“Well if you vouch for him, I’m sure he’s wonderful.”

You don’t notice it, but Namjoon gets a glint in his eye. Sipping on his water, he glances between you and Taehyung before saying, “Speaking of great guys, I’d also like to introduce you to someone.”

Taehyung stills beside you; you freeze in equally stunned silence.

Hoseok’s eyes nervously dart to Taehyung then you as he says, “Ah, Namjoon, I don’t think—“

“If you’re up for it, of course.” Namjoon looks only at you, his tone casual as if he doesn’t notice the sudden tension. “He also just got out of a long-term relationship and is kind of a mess about it. I’m thinking it might do both of you good to get back out there in a low pressure situation, especially with someone who understands.”

“I…” You don’t know what to say. You’d meant what you said to Taehyung about taking a break from dating, but you also trust Namjoon. He wouldn’t set you up with a creep, and maybe he does have a point about a low pressure date to at least take that first step.

But isn’t it too soon? You and Jace were together for years, and it’s only been a little over a month. Are you supposed to take more time? Or should you just get that first date over with? It hits you suddenly that you don’t even know how to meet people now that you’re out of school. How do capital-A Adults even find dates? Maybe it would be better to meet up with someone that’s already been vetted by one of your friends instead of some random on a dating app.

Namjoon speaks up again as your mind spins. “It’s entirely up to you. I can give you his number, and if you decide to reach out, great. If not, no harm, no foul.”

Still undecided, you turn for a second opinion. “Tae, what do you think?”

But he’s staring intently at Namjoon, expression indecipherable. Namjoon finally shifts his attention from you to engage in an intense staring contest with Taehyung across the table, the two of them clearly having some kind of silent conversation while Hoseok looks on in obvious discomfort.

You’re sitting there—just trying to figure out what the hell is going on—when Taehyung abruptly faces you, slipping a hand over your knee.

“I think you should go for it.”

His eyes are sincere, his hand hot where it rests on your skin.

“Other fish in the sea, right?”

You blink at him. Well, that’s that then. If there’s anything in the world you have complete faith in, it’s that Taehyung would never lead you astray.

Turning back to Namjoon, you shift so Taehyung’s fingers fall away. “What’s his name?”

Namjoon smiles.

“Seokjin.”

NEXT

a/n: the next two parts are my favorite, and part 4 is already around 85% written so i'll be looking to get that out asap! in the meantime, please consider leaving a like, reblog, or feedback!

taglist is open!

[theregencywriter]

Lost in Silence 2 - Theo Sharpe x Reader

A/n - okay so this is embarrassingly short! I had such a chaotic day but I still wanted to put something out so I hope it's still okay! <3

Theo Sharpe was always attractive, Y/n couldn’t lie. Though most of her days were spent alongside her mother doing daily household tasks, on the odd chance she went to her father's place of work and Theo was there the two would play. Running between the printers, throwing discarded paper at each other, the two would enjoy each other's company into the long hours that the printers required. Though by the end of most days the two would be lightly stained with cheap ink, Y/n couldn't help as they both grew older they exchanged stolen glances, and though Y/n had to move away before it could bloom, she always wondered if he thought her as beautiful as she thought him, despite the ink.

Now, presently stood Theo, taller and with a more defined jaw and ears that stretched outwards slightly more than they used to, one thing was the same - his kind eyes. Y/n watched as the woman that was speaking walked off of the stage and hugged Theo. Though her heart sank momentarily, after he handed her a pamphlet she walked off, as if friends.

Was she jealous? No no, she couldn't be. Right? She was unsure of what to do. She had meant to find him and give him back his notebook, a plan she was beginning to realise was riddled with idiocracy. As she turned to leave a man came to her side. “Excuse me miss, I- '' Theo looked at her and paused. He gulped, and Y/n couldn't help but look at his Adam apple as it pulsated in doing so. “Y/n?” He questioned. It was as if seeing him again had reduced her to that same love stricken child she was all those years ago, though now she found herself in quite the predicament. In the heat of the moment she could only think of doing one thing.

“.....Theo? Is it Theo? You seem familiar” She smiled politely as she spoke, pretending to vaguely recognise his face. He stumbled over his words, clearly either shocked it was her or that she apparently didn’t remember him in the same capacity that he remembered her. “Yes, its Theo, Theo Sharpe?” His voice cracked slightly as he spoke, pausing momentarily as if allowing her to try and remember him. “Oh yes! The son of my late fathers coworker.” Y/n had never realised how posh her voice had become, but hearing his again made her sink into her old accent, though more falsified and sounding like a parody. He looked at her and jerked his head slightly back in offence.

“Yes, the son of your later fathers-” He trailed off. “I’m sorry? Is that all I was to you?” “How do you suppose?” She questioned. “We were friends, were we not? Or am I misremembering?” His words were tipped with a harsh edge that made her shrivel up slightly. She took in a sigh, “No, no of course not. If I may be honest, seeing you again made me panic.” She chuckled as she said it. It had been the first time in quite some time that she had spoken so freely, unafraid of enunciating or tiptoeing around a subject. “Panicked? What for?” He joined her in a laugh, further easing her state. “I do not know truly. It has been a while hasn’t it?” SHe reached out and placed a hand on his elbow like she had done a thousand times as a young girl, though when her hand was met by a firmer and larger arm by that of man than she remembered she took it off again almost suddenly. “I’m sorry, I forget myself.” She grinned an awkward smile, placing her hand on her forehead as the heat stifled her and took in her surroundings to avert his gaze. “Do not worry, miss Y/n,” He leaned in cheekily “You are not in Mayfair. We may converse freely away from the gaze of that Whistledown.” She looked back at him in confusion. “You know Whistledown? How?” He grinned as if the owner of his own secret. “I print it.” He spoke, confidence beaming from his face. “Well, I say! You must show me where one day, if I am not being too forward.”

“Not at all, why not now?” He asked. For a moment she grinned as she contemplated it, but a sad look soon took over her expression. “I cannot, I’m sorry. I need to be getting back home.” He nodded his head and they hugged, him stroking her back in a manner that she could not help but reminisce about later on that night in bed. As she walked out and entered into the nearest available carriage, she ran her fingers up and down the blue book, still in her possession. Another reason to go back, she thought as she rode off.

[miss-bushido]

you make me feel like I am home again

Written for @steddiesmuttyseptember week 2: prompts ‘backseat’ and ‘clothes on’

Rating: Explicit (very explicit)

October 3, 1988

Steve leaned against the column just outside of the Arrivals exit at the airport, lightly tapping his finger against his arm. Eddie’s flight had been delayed coming in from Boston: he’d opted to take a different flight than the other guys so he could take a quick trip up to Salem and see all the quote-unquote spooky shit up there. Steve had teased him about coming back with a witch’s hat or a spell book or something, and Eddie had threatened to put a spell on him if he didn’t be quiet. Steve had laughed and pretended he was going through a tunnel and had to go.

“You’re on the phone in the kitchen!” Eddie had scream-laughed as Steve made his words fade in and out before he clearly yelled back, “See you at midnight!” and then hung up.

Delayed Flight 5498 now arriving from Boston. Baggage will be available at carousel number 4 sounded over the speakers.

Steve checked his watch as he stifled a yawn and shifted his stance. He was tired- it was after midnight after all- but he knew that he was going to get a burst of energy soon. Being around Eddie always did that. His energy was infectious even under normal circumstances. Especially when he hit you with that dimpled smile. God, it made Steve weak every time.

It would be more potent now considering how long it had been since they’d been in such close proximity to one another. Eddie and the other members of Corroded Coffin had done a mini-tour of the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic. Their Wraiths on Wings Tour had started in late August, kicking off in Indianapolis before moving to Cleveland, Columbus, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Syracuse, New Haven, Providence, and finally culminated with two nights in Boston. Steve had only been able to go to the one in Indianapolis, but he’d been more than happy to support Eddie doing something he loved. On the numerous phone calls they’d shared after each gig was done, Eddie had gushed about how electrifying it was to be on stage. How fucking awesome it was to be able to play on the same stages that bands like Dokken, Metallica, and Iron Maiden had years before.

Steve was so proud of Eddie, and the other guys, and he always made sure to let Eddie know that. The praise always made Eddie’s tone turn soft on the phone, almost bashful. Whenever Steve heard Eddie ask, “You really mean it, Stevie?”, that was when he dialled up the praise: telling Eddie what a good boy he was, how hardworking and dedicated he was. And all of the things Steve was going to do for him once he got his hands on him again. He sincerely hoped that none of the switchboard operators of the hotels they stayed at ever listened in on their phone calls, or else they would have gotten an earful of the lead singer of Corroded Coffin and his boyfriend having phone sex more than a few times while the guys were on the tour.

Apart from the quick call earlier in the day, the two of them hadn’t been able to connect before the show in New Haven five days prior. As it was, Steve was itching to get his hands on Eddie more so than normal. The fact that the flight had been delayed was like rubbing salt in the wound. He just hoped deplaning and getting the baggage wouldn’t take too long. And while he didn’t drive like Eddie did, he was planning to go a little bit faster to get them back to their apartment sooner rather than later.

About ten minutes later, he saw the shadow of a familiar figure making its way through the arrivals corridor towards him. It rounded the corner, and there stood Eddie: looking every inch the rockstar sex god he showed to the world. He had developed an on-stage persona to play to the audience, which allowed him to separate a little from how he acted onstage to how he was normally. Onstage Eddie was more cocksure, ten times more brash, and he exaggerated his movements as he played and sang, really milking the sexy rockstar angle. The clothes he wore- tight black jeans, a tank top with a deep v-neck (or sometimes no shirt at all), combat boots, studded bracelets- and the way he carried himself fed into this, and the audience couldn’t get enough of it.

Eddie looked up and broke into a big grin as he saw Steve at the end of the corridor waiting for him. It wasn’t Onstage Eddie. It was His Eddie. Still sexy and brash, of course, but also nerdy; shy at times (which always surprised Steve when those times happened); in constant motion even when he was sitting down; and happy to stay in rather than going out and partying.

Steve stood up straight and gave him a little wave, immediately holding out his hand for Eddie’s suitcase as the distance between them closed. The Warlock was in its case across Eddie’s back, and Steve had learned very early on that only Eddie would carry his beloved guitar. “Good flight?” Steve asked as they fell into step, moving out of the airport and into the cold damp air of the Indiana night. “How was Salem?”

“Decent flight,” Eddie answered, brushing his hair away from his face. “Salem was nice. Kind of crowded, though. I want to go again. One day wasn’t enough to see everything.”

“Did you get a spell book?” Steve asked as they approached the Beemer. He opened the trunk and put the suitcase in, letting Eddie maneuver his guitar on top of it, before they both got in the car.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Eddie asked as he buckled up.

Steve shook his head, giving him a smirk as he started up the car. The radio came to life at the same time the engine did, the last few chords and lyrics of ‘Hazy Shade of Winter’ by The Bangles filling up the car. As Steve drove them out of the parking lot and down the road, INXS’ ‘Don’t Change’ came on.

Eddie smiled. “I actually don’t hate this song.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, putting on the windshield wipers as he turned onto the dark back road. “Really? I didn’t realize you listened to INXS.” It was beginning to drizzle, so he slowed down a little.

“Not usually,” he admitted. “Just this one song.” He turned his head to look at Steve, the orange glow of the passing street lights reflecting in his eyes as they drove. “It makes me think of you.” As if the radio heard him, the lyrics he was thinking of came on, and he couldn’t help singing along with Michael Hutchence:

Resolution of happiness, Things have been dark for too long. Don't change for you, Don't change a thing for me

Steve reached over and took Eddie’s hand in his, bringing it up to kiss the back of it. “You’re sweet.”

“You’re just saying that to get into my pants,” Eddie countered, sliding over a little. He kissed Steve’s wrist and took his hand back, sliding it up Steve’s arm and onto the nape of his neck. He used his nails to slide up the back of Steve’s head, feeling him shudder at the touch.

“Babe,” Steve breathed, adjusting in his seat. “I’m driving.”

“I know,” Eddie said, massaging the back of Steve’s scalp. He leaned in closer and kissed Steve’s neck. “You look so sexy. And I don’t know if I can wait until we get back home.” He placed his other hand on Steve’s inner thigh, mere inches from his dick. Steve gasped and gripped the steering wheel tightly.

“I’ve really missed you, Stevie,” Eddie purred, sliding his hand from Steve’s inner thigh to his bulge. He squeezed him lightly, his own moan echoing Steve’s at the feeling of his cock pulsing inside his jeans. “I want to taste you, baby.”

Steve groaned loudly, slowing down as he pulled the car over, the gravel crunching under the tires as he made his way off of the road. As soon as he put the car in ‘Park’, he undid his seatbelt, and pulled Eddie almost onto his lap to kiss him in one fluid motion.

Eddie smiled against Steve’s lips, fumbling for the seatbelt to unhook it. Once he did, he straddled Steve, kissing him hungrily, hips grinding against him. “God, fuck, I need you so badly.” he groaned.

“Me too,” Steve moaned, sliding his hands up into Eddie’s hair. He moved his leg and hit his knee on the steering wheel. “Ow,” he hissed.

“Backseat?” Eddie asked, almost breathless with desire.

“Backseat,” Steve agreed.

Both of them scrambled over the front seat and into the back, limbs tangling as they resituated in the backseat. Steve pulled Eddie back on his lap, hands sliding up the back of his shirt. The familiar feel of his skin and the muscles underneath made Steve gasp. “God, I missed the feel of you,” he said against Eddie’s mouth. “I missed your mouth, how you taste.”

“I missed you, too, baby,” Eddie moaned, breath catching in his throat as he rolled his hips, feeling Steve’s erection below his own. “I want all of you. Your taste, your smell, all of the sounds you make. The phone calls helped, but it wasn’t the same. How you sound in person? Fuck. It was all I could hear in my dreams.”

Steve tilted his head back, sliding down in the seat. The new position made Eddie loom over him, his hair falling around them. “I want to fuck you. I need you so much,” he rasped.

Eddie grinned, all teeth, as he resumed kissing Steve. His hands travelled between them, quickly undoing Steve’s belt and the button on his jeans. He unzipped him and gave his jeans a tug. Just enough to move them from his hips to the middle of his ass. It allowed his briefs to be pulled down, too, so Steve’s cock could be released from the cotton confines of the briefs.

Putting his thumb in his mouth, Eddie sucked on his finger pad. “Touch me, Steve,” he breathed.

Steve made short work of getting Eddie’s cock out of his jeans, too. Steve’s tip was wet, but Eddie’s was wetter, precum streaming out of him to drip down onto Steve’s lap. He let out a deep groan at the sight of his boyfriend’s cock, mouth watering at the image of wrapping his lips around it.

“Thought about you every night, Steve,” Eddie rasped, rubbing his wet thumb over the tip of Steve’s cock, making his hips jerk forward. He wrapped the rest of his hand around him and began stroking, the slick sounds of precum filling the car. “Thought about deep throating you, spreading your legs on the bed and fucking you hard into the mattress. Thought about cumming all over your face, having you lick all of it up and then beg me for more.” Steve let out a sharp gasp at this, eyes rolling back into his head.

“Thought about you too, Eds,” he managed, panting hard as Eddie stroked him and put all those pretty images in his mind. “Thought about eating you out from behind while I stroked your cock. Thought about you using your handcuffs on me to keep me in bed, fucking me over and over until we’re both spent.” As Steve spoke, he had also begun stroking Eddie.

“Stevie,” Eddie whimpered, closing his eyes as he bent forward, his forehead resting on Steve’s shoulder. “Oh fuck I’m so fucking close.”

“Me too,” Steve gasped. “I thought about you riding me, my hands gripping your hips as I fucked deep into you. Your cock was dripping all over me, and when you came, you covered my chest and stomach. And after I came deep inside you, I fingered you until you came again while you straddled my shoulders and your cock was deep in my throat. So I could get every drop you had to give me.”

“STEVE!” Eddie shouted, hips thrusting forward as he came hard, the loud groan turning into a whine. “Oh my Go-o-o-od!”

The sight and sounds Eddie made meant Steve followed with his own orgasm no less than ten seconds later. He repeated Eddie’s name over and over before he kissed him hard, still feeling himself pulsing for a good minute afterwards.

Eddie caught his breath first, giving a few breathy chuckles as he pushed his hair out of his face. The back of his neck was sweaty, his cheeks were flushed and his throat was raw. “That was so fucking hot!” he exclaimed.

“Mmm,” Steve hummed in agreement, blindly reaching with his free hand for the hand towel he kept in the back of the front seat. Ostensibly, it was to get rid of condensation on the windows, which he did use it for: they had steamed the car up something fierce. It was also a good way for them to quickly clean up.

Eddie kissed him hard before he threw himself to the right, extricating himself from Steve’s lap so he could catch his breath and get his pants back up. He watched as Steve did the same, cheeks ruddy and mouth wet as he got himself together. “Let’s shower together when we get home,” he said, reaching out to run his hand up Steve’s arm.

“Yes,” Steve breathed, leaning over to kiss Eddie on the mouth. “I want to fuck you on the stairs before I eat you out in the shower.” He gave Eddie’s lower lip a quick bite before pulling away. With a grunt, he pulled himself back into the driver’s seat, getting himself situated once more.

Meanwhile, in the backseat, Eddie watched Steve, wondering how he’d gotten so lucky to deserve him. His sweet, handsome, surprisingly kinky partner. He zipped his own jeans up and moved back to the passenger seat. “Sounds like you’ve had this planned, huh?”

Steve gave him a smirk as he put the car back in Drive and started off down the road. “I guess you’ll just have to find out when we get back to the house.”

“It wasn’t a spell book,” Eddie said abruptly.

“What?” Steve asked, confused until their earlier conversation came back to him. “Oh. What was it?”

Eddie didn’t immediately answer. It was only when they were at a red light, about two miles from home that he finally said, “It was two rings.”

Steve bodily turned to look at Eddie, eyes wide and shining at the implications of this purchase. “Eddie,” he breathed.

Eddie leaned over and kissed Steve on the lips. “Get us home, big boy, and I’ll give you one of them.”

Steve seemed at a loss for words until Eddie kissed him again. “However far away,” he sang-spoke quietly, “I will always love you.”

“However long I stay,” Steve responded, also sing-speaking, voice thick with emotion, “I will always love you.” He kissed Eddie once more and then leaned back, wiping his eyes. “Since when do you listen to The Cure?”

“Not usually,” Eddie answered, watching as Steve continued the drive back to their house. As he parked in the driveway, Eddie continued, “Just this one song. It makes me think of you.”

[rei-ismyname]

X-Men #3 (From The Ashes)

At last, this book is starting to cook and show us where these people are at. Scott Summers enjoyers are eating well today, always good to see. Full coverage under the cut, and spoilers of course. TW discussion of violence, anxiety/PTSD mention.

Jed McKay hits the ground running with a bunch of goons called Shrikes having inserted into the Factory, the Alaskan X-Men's base. Shrike is Latin for 'butcher' and the eponymous bird is known for impaling stuff, so we can assume that they're not nice dudes. They caught a ride from the Vanisher (a 60s X-Men foe who has popped up here and there as a mercenary teleporter/unwilling X-Force asset. His aesthetic is much better these days) who's like 'damn y'all live like this' but objects to them using the term 'mutie.' Bro, you're dropping black ops goons into their house for an unnamed quid pro quo, you think their allies?

Implications...

- The Shrikes want to be inflicting casualties but they're deferring to Lundqvist, who doesn't. Not yet at least. We don't know if they're contractors or part of O*N*E (Office for National Emergency), a government agency I'm surprised still exists, given its abject failures in containing, protecting, or killing mutant schoolchildren.

- These jerks are Team One, clearly part of a larger group or organisation.

- They're professionals with quite advanced technology, and while one slur doesn't necessarily make them frothing racists, they're seemingly ideologically aligned with this mission.

Meanwhile, Scott ain't home right now. We don't get enough of his conversation with Rogue to see where their relationship is at, but we learn the Uncanny X-Men team are moving on Graymalkin and will not wait to synchronize plans or discuss it further.

- They're moving on Graymalkin? That name has been used quite a bit, so we can't be 100% sure if it's Cable's spaceship (unlikely), Xavier's 200 year old ancestor who was buried beneath the mansion for centuries (also unlikely), Graymalkin Industries, or a little house on Graymalkin Lane.

- Considering Scott's estimation that it'll escalate everything, I have to assume it's the X-Mansion. Rescuing Chuck? I don't see Logan wanting to do that. Killing him? That'd be a no from Rogue. Shutting down the torture prison that Chuck's in? Maybe. There's a lot of threads in the X-books and if the 'strays' came from there it'd tie a bunch together while inciting conflict. I guess we'll see.

- Of course Scott has plans. No clues here as to what they are.

- I've said it before, but I don't buy why these teams are separate or even in conflict with each other. It's going to feel inorganic for as long as we don't get an explanation. In UXM 1, Logan was acting like Schism Logan, which didn't even make sense back then. He's been living with Scott and Jean in a polycule for the last X years, and Scott/Rogue were on a Krakoan team together. These people trust and love each other, they've been family for decades. Everyone considers it a dark time for mutants and they have every reason to both want and need to work together. Show us why they're not! I beg you.

- The aforementioned Lundqvist has showed up with heavies to the diner, which the cop doesn't love. He says it's payback for embarrassing him, but considering what team one are doing that's almost certainly not the full reason.

- Looks like their relationship is adversarial. What's holding him back, though?

- Interesting. It was a government-owned Sentinel factory, and it was part of a settlement. I really want more information on Scott Summers v The United States. She-Hulk was his counsel too, I wonder if she was his trial lawyer on this. I'm assuming settlement has at least 3 meanings there, which is clever.

- I wonder if Scott got to choose. He likes Alaska, I could see him demanding it strategically. If the US chose it, ooof. A sentinel factory about as far as you can get from the Marvel hotspots while still being in the US. The whole 'implication' is ugly as hell too.

Is Scott Summers taking this shit?

As Collossus would say, nyet Tovarich, he is not taking it. Good to see he's not fucking around, though in that list of damages I'm very aware 'being forcibly deported from our nation' is not on it. Krakoa comes up, but it's being deprioritised and erased. It's a fist pump moment, but it still makes me sad.

- Shit yeah, get angry dude. You should be.

- Lundqvist is hard to read but he seems to be put in his place.

- Love the BLT power move.

Hahaha! Look at him chowing down with his mouth full. I just ordered a BLT, sometimes you forget how much you enjoy something until you read or hear about it, you know? Anyway, what does this dickhead want Scott to do about it? You know, aside from what he already is - trying to handle it. If he wasn't stalling for his goon squad I'd dismiss it completely.

- The ongoing mystery of the manifesting mutants gets a nod as national news. I can imagine Tucker Carlson or JK Rowling being the worst with this. The Truthseekers name feels very true to life. Right wing kooks are all about weaponising what is true and what is not.

- Scott not knowing what a thermobaric bomb is has some significance, but I think it tells us more about Lundqvist that he does. They're a fuel only type of explosive mostly associated with atrocities. Research indicates they're a very painful and comparatively slow way to die, bc the brain is still active while the body is torn apart or worse. Fuck this guy.

- I did wonder what those drone looking things were last issue. Seems the Truthseekers have some good technology, and may be looking to deny the X-Men theirs (if they're working with the government, which, come on. They always are.

HAHAHA. EAT A DICK LUNDQVIST. Okay he's getting to the point. The X-Men make him look bad because they're doing his job and not covering it up.

- Either he doesn't know Scott very well or he's running out of shit to say. I really dig what's happening with body language here.

- X-factor are a joke in and out of universe. Sorry not sorry but Alex is too. I do wonder who has better intel on x-factor. Scott has always valued intelligence, though I wonder if he's more likely to get it from Warren or Alex. Warren is reliable AF, always has been. I can totally see him enduring that embarrassment to be the man on the inside. Alex could go either way tbh. He is not reliable at all. Most recently he moved to Limbo to be with Maddie and it was not a healthy relationship. It was codependent and Alex, at least was delusional. He also spent a while as a demon zombie.

- That's been brushed aside and for some reason he and Lorna seem to have regressed 15 years. They argued and the impression I got was Lorna was team mutant, Alex was team government/human? That kid's a mess so it's hard to tell. They could be running a long con - we'll see.

- But yeah, Scott's not having it. At all. Carrot or stick - choose! I do like the Brotherhood mention but I swear to god this better not be used to villainise Scott and fuel infighting with the Uncanny team.

Meanwhile... Shrike Team One are well prepared for the mission. They can't be sensed psychically or with any technology. Beast gets knocked out like a chump, but Ilyana can see souls.

See what I mean about technology denial? The last Cerebro unit too.

- Obviously it would be a loss but Beast could build another, right?

- Tumblr image limits being what they are I'm not including the action panels. I'll just say they're okay. Nothing amazing.

- Temper/Idie takes them out and laughs at their thermite (really not messing around, that stuff is wild) while getting off a few badass one liners.

- Magneto doesn't join the fray for some reason (He'd solve it instantly) and chats with Temper. Krakoa is mentioned, as is her imprisonment, but I'm not touching that further right now. When they actually show us where Magneto is I'll have lots to say, for now he's just sitting and saying lightweight stuff. Temper doesn't like or respect Mags though.

Wrapping up, the goons failed and the X-Men minus Mags and Beast drop them off.

- The official position is 'yes, we will fight America if you insist. Stop making threats and breaking into my house. Also, my wife is a God. You know that right? Now gtfoh.'

- It's really cool, though we've kinda been here before.

Something is wrong with Scott? It looks like an anxiety attack to me, tbh. Can't blame him, though I have a feeling it's more than that. Full on anxiety disorder/PTSD Cyclops would be new, I wonder if they'd do it. I guess we'll find out.

And to end on some... news... Trevor Fitzroy is back. yay 😮‍💨. Alive somehow, and resurrecting a ludicrous group from the 2000s. I wonder if Shinobi Shaw and Cortez will be there too. He's also killing mutants for ratings, something that's been done as recently as Krakoa. Not looking forward to it. MAKE UP NEW STUFF FFS.

At the end of the day I enjoyed the issue, mostly by virtue of something happening. Cyclops and Agent Lundqvist chatting in a diner carried it with moments that I'm sure we'll be seeing for years to come as 'fuck yeah' posts on Reddit. The art is competent, nothing really stands out for me besides the body language I mentioned. The art style and choices are probably a whole separate post, like why Cyclops looks 25.

Thanks for reading.

[fandoms-writings]

Tell Me Everything

Part 1

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x Reader

Word Count: 2.2K

Summary: You spot a certain someone, causing your emotions to come to a head when you realize, you don't want to sneak around anymore. (based on the prompts: "What are we doing"/"Why are you doing this?")

Warnings: really this one is just angst, sorry lol

A/N: thank you so so much to @banana-cheese-cake for beta reading this for me &lt;3

Masterpost

It was like your body forgot how to breathe on its own, your lungs emptying in a rush and struggling to inflate again as you gazed at the man in front of you. The very familiar man you almost ran up to before seeing a woman with him. 

He looked just like Miguel, but it wasn't - not your Miguel at least. 

Your Miguel wouldn't be out in public like this, with a woman and a child walking with him. He'd come straight to your apartment, usually through one of the windows. You'd take turns enjoying each other's bodies and after just a brief conversation while you cleaned up, he'd leave out the same window. 

Sometimes he'd even portal away right in your living room.

You'd always been tempted to follow him, but you knew you shouldn't. You didn't belong where he was from, and he didn't belong here. Clearly. 

"Hey," Your friend's hand grabbing your arm shook you from your stupor and you sucked in a breath, turning to face them with wide eyes. "You alright? You look like you've seen a ghost." 

"Uh," you glanced back to where your worlds Miguel had been, to find the space empty, "Yeah," You turned back to her, wrapping your sweater tighter around yourself, "I'm fine, just thought I saw someone I knew. It wasn't him though." 

"Okay. . ." She looped her arm through yours, tugging you close to keep warm in the cold wind and you began your trek again to the bookstore, trying not to pay any attention to the ache in your heart at seeing a version of Miguel you didn't know with someone who wasn't you. 

You tried to focus on Megan's rambling about a new book coming out, how excited she was to finally read the ending to a series she'd been obsessed with for years. You tried to get your brain to absorb the words she was spewing at you, you really did. But you couldn't get your mind to forget about that man you saw. 

He looked so different from the Miguel you knew - he looked happy. 

Thinking about it, you weren't sure you'd ever seen your Miguel even smile. He was always so weighed down by his life, his responsibilities. From what he'd told you, he didn't have a life outside of his work. Hell, he barely had time to come see you. 

Which, you realized very early on in your situationship, that he shouldn't even be doing. He shouldn't be in your world, you both knew that. But recently, you've had enough of sneaking around. 

You'd had enough of not being able to tell anyone about him. Of going everywhere alone. Sleeping alone. Dining alone. Walking. Talking. 

Living. 

And now, with the knowledge that your reality's Miguel had a life and was happy and married - it made you wonder what you didn't know about your interdimensional booty call. And as you spent the afternoon with Megan, each reading your own books, you could feel the discomfort of that curiosity fester in your chest and you knew it would grow into something dark and ugly if you didn't get a chance to talk with your Miguel. And soon. 

~~~

A heavy sigh deflated Miguel's chest as the sight of your apartment came into view. He could see the kitchen light on as he swung his way over, sticking to the shadows of the night as best he could. 

He wasn't planning on coming to see you quite yet, he still had so much work to do, but something in his gut told him he needed to get to you as soon as he could. That he needed to check on you. 

He was only planning on stopping by, peaking in to see if you were okay. He wasn't going to come in, he wasn't going to say hello. Just stop, check on you, and leave. In and out. Easy. 

Except it hardly ever was. 

He got up to your window, peeking over the window pane to try and catch a glimpse of you but you were nowhere to be seen. There was an abandoned mug of what he assumed was tea on the counter, the steam rising from it in thin tendrils toward the ceiling. There was a book haphazardly thrown onto your couch, something that made confusion and worry flood his system - you'd never do that to one of your books. 

"Lyla." 

"Yeeees?" She appeared over his shoulder, peeking into your apartment, mimicking him. 

"Stay on alert, but only cut in if it's an emergency." He ordered. 

"Oh boo," She glitched to stand in front of his nose, "I'm never going to meet her am I?" 

He refused to answer, glaring at her from the other side of the mask and she sighed. 

"Fine, call me if you need any advice." With that, she vanished and he tested the window, sighing slightly when it slid up and allowed him in. 

He silently crawled in, crouching near the window as he left it open for an easy escape route should he need it. Taking in your apartment, it was clear something was wrong, you never let it get this messy. You usually took pride in how clean you kept it, how organized it was. To see dishes piled in the sink, crumbs on the floor, a basket of forgotten laundry in the hallway and shoes scattered across the floor had Miguel questioning if he was even in the right apartment. 

But he knew that couch, he knew the photos on the shelves and the paintings on the walls. He was familiar with the plants on top of the bookshelves, with the coupons pinned to the fridge. He was in the right place. 

That was only further confirmed for him when he heard you, your shuddering breath coming from down the hall. His attention snapped to your bedroom where it sounded like you were and he called your name, quickly making his way to your door. 

Your door was thrown open right before he could reach it, and his eyes widened at the sight of you. Your eyes were rimmed red and sunken, your lashes wet and your brows coming down into a scowl that sent ice through his veins. 

Your name left his lips in a soft mutter and you folded your arms around yourself, as if protecting yourself from him. As if he would reach out and harm you or throw harsh words at you. 

His heart thundered in his chest as his nerves grew and his hands shook as thumbed the switch to remove his mask. 

"Why are you here?" You asked, your voice raw and cracked. 

"I wanted to see you," you pushed past him, making your way to the kitchen and he followed, hot on your heels, "I had a feeling I needed to check on you." 

You huffed a breath at that, grabbing your still warm tea.  "Well," You stopped, leaning against the counter as you lifted the full cup to your lips, "you've checked on me. Now what?" 

He angled his head. He wasn’t used to you being this cold, this closed off. “Did something happen?" 

You let loose a dry chuckled, void of any humor, "You could say that." You set the cup down with more force than necessary and stared at him. "I have a question for you." 

His back straightened out of instinct, his spidey senses telling him to prepare for whatever it was you were about to ask as the hair on the back of his neck stood stiff. "Okay." 

"What are we doing?" It filled the air in an almost silent whisper. 

It took him a moment to respond, his eyes searching your face for any clue as to what you were talking about. "What do you mean?" 

"I saw you," You started, crossing your arms again, "Well, not you you, but my world's version of you." 

Miguel could feel his heart begin to sink. He'd been so infatuated with you, he didn't even think about your reality's version of him. About what that would mean for you - for the both of you. 

In his silence, you continued, "He wasn't alone either." You looked up at him, tears lining your lashes no matter how steady you kept your voice, "He was with a woman. And a little girl." 

Miguel felt the words hit his chest like a freight train and he stumbled backwards, turning on his heel to shield himself from your intense stare. 

"So let me rephrase it," Your voice followed him as you stayed rooted in the kitchen and he began to pace, "Why are you doing this? Why are you really coming here?" 

He turned to you, his hunched shoulders dropping when his eyes met yours, finding nothing but confusion there. So he told the truth, "I can't stay away." 

"But you can't stay either." 

He sighed, shaking his head 'no' as he watched you. 

"You come and you go," you start, letting the tears fall, "You come in here, have me in whatever manner suits you, and then you leave. You leave me to my life and you go back to yours. But I don't even know about your life. I don't know about you. Not anymore than you've told me, which isn't much. I want to know you. I want to go out with you. Go on walks or go to dinner. Anything outside of this apartment." You took a breath to steady yourself, "I'm tired of being alone, Miguel."

He watched from across the room as you made your way over to him, stopping in front of him and tipping your head back as he towered over you. 

"I'm tired of sitting here, waiting for you to come back," You whispered, "Wondering if you'll come back at all." 

He raised his hand to your face, the callous of his thumb rough against your cheek as he stroked it. Not a word was spoken as he caressed your face, his other hand coming up to your other cheek.

He'd told you he was from another reality, that he worked to keep the multiverse from falling apart. 

He'd never told you what happened. He never told you about the reality he'd accidentally destroyed. The wife and daughter who no longer exist because of him. 

He noticed your lips part, as if you were about to say something, and he rushed to get it out. All of it. 

"My name is Miguel O'Hara," He started, his voice rough, "I'm Spiderman, but in a different way than the Spiderman who lives in this city. I run the Spider Society in Nueva York on Earth-928. We protect the Multiverse from fracturing and unraveling, as much as we can. I'm gone all the time because we're trying to hunt down and contain what are called anomalies - beings who get ripped through the multiverse and wind up in a reality that isn't their own."

"So you're an anomaly when you come here," You started, "I know all of that already." 

"I can't stay because I don't want to risk your reality falling apart." 

Your body tensed under his hold as you stared up at him. "How do you know that's what would happen? It's not like I'm some important politician or celebrity. How do you know it would unravel my reality?" 

"I don't know for certain," He stated, his voice dropping so low that if there were any other noise in the room, you wouldn't hear him, "But it's not a risk I'm willing to take. I've already had to watch people I love vanish right in front of me because I was too selfish to leave their world. I won't let it happen to you too." 

"What happened?" You asked.

He paused, a lump in his throat stopping him from spilling all of it to you. "If I tell you the whole story," He started, trying to ignore how nervous he sounded in his own ears and how his heart had begun to race. "You might hate me for it." 

Your fingers wrapped around his wrists, pulling his hands away from your face as you held them in between the two of you. "I deserve to know who you are," Your voice was gentle as you spoke, "Don't you think?" 

He tightened his hold on your fingers, clinging to your hands like a lifeline, praying that after he told you his whole story, that you wouldn't see him as the villain he often thought himself to be. He nodded. "You do." 

"Okay," You led him over to your couch, sitting down and waiting for him to sit beside you before speaking again. "Tell me." 

Miguel knew that if you were to allow him to keep coming to you after hearing his whole story, to let him keep seeing you, that he'd have a lot to make up for. But he was okay with that. He'd spend the rest of his life groveling if that's what it took.

He just needed to tell you, and let you decide if you hated him or not first.  

So, he took a steadying breath and told you all of it. Everything from before he destroyed that reality, to working fixing other realities, to finding you. He even included how he fell in love with you, no matter how hard he tried not to. 

Everything. 

As always, thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments, and likes are all appreciated!

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[janiceisbored-blog]

I loved you three summers now

Idol!Na Jaemin x Y/N

Genre: Fluff

A/N: I’ve been listening to Taylor’s Lover Album and I just think most songs there are written for Jaemin 

W/C: 13.3k words (I really tried my best to fit this into a one-shot)

｡ﾟ(｡ﾉωヽ｡)ﾟ｡

You and Jaemin had been inseperable ever since you were kids. When life gets in the way, things are supposed to change, right?

Summer 2013

Frantic taps can be heard against your desk as you patiently wait for the school bell to ring. You shot your head up to look at the clock, to look at the time. 3:56 PM, in just 4 minutes summer will finally start and it’s goodbye 6th grade. Everybody seems to be delighted that it’s finally the last day of school, blouses and uniforms scribbled with markers, the classroom mood was enjoyable, everyone was busy mingling with each other and you could hear their summer plans. Some were moving away, some were staying, some were going to be enrolling in summer schools, mentions of going to “Seoul” or “Busan” or other provinces were heard.

3:57 PM. The clock was really taking its time, all you wanted to do was to go home and take a rest. Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard the chair next to yours got dragged. You smiled as you scoot to make room for the person who dragged the chair.

“So, any plans?” It was Jaemin. A huge smile plastered across his face as he sat on the chair beside yours. You told him about your summer plans where you’re going to be spending a little bit of time with your cousins in another province. You found yourself talking for way too long and you heard the bell ring. Just as when your stories get better, the bell rings, it’s now 4 PM.

“Okay just wait for me, I have to say bye to my friends from the other class. You can tell me on the way home.” You just nodded as you gathered your things together. You and Jaemin had been friends from what seems to be forever now. The way that the both of you grew up together, being neighbors and your mothers both being good friends. You and Jaemin were close, but both are different in a way. You were always the shy type and very introverted, you would rather hide at the back of the room instead of being picked first for PE class, a little bit uncoordinated when it comes to sports. Jaemin on the other hand was confident, he was good at sports, he’s also quite introverted but had a handful of friends and handful of girls who had a crush on him. Despite your differences, you always had a way to bond. Now that the two of you are in your teen years, the means of bonding have changed. The two of you rarely went out to play games on the streets, but bonded over video games and watched cartoons together instead. It was almost like a hurdle when both of you had to change the way you bonded. Nonetheless, even if your interests changed as you went older, you and Jaemin still found ways to bond and it was through video games and walking home together. You waited on the bench in the hallway when you saw Jaemin greet his buddies from the other class ‘goodbye’. On his way out, a girl blocked his way and handed him a pink envelope. Another girl having a crush on Jaemin. You laughed at yourself and you can obviously see Jaemin get embarrassed as he accepts the pink envelope from the clearly embarrassed girl as she runs away from the classroom.

“Another one? How many did you get already?” You laughed at him as you haul your bag.

“I don’t know? I think I got 4 already.” he smiled as he chucked the letter in his bag. You won't deny, Jaemin is going to grow up with girls chasing him left and right. His boyish charm and smile would lighten up the room. Both of you didn’t really think about having crushes, being 13 and all, conversations like that would be awkward. But you would definitely be lying if you don’t think that Jaemin is a handsome boy. The walk home took a little bit longer than usual, the two of you took a (longer) detour to find the convenience store that sells ice cream sandwiches. You didn’t mind if the route you took was the long way home, you thought of the days that you’ll spend during the summer. It would mean more time to play and rest after a hellish year in school.

“Are you coming to that volunteer event with your mom?” Jaemin asked as he takes a bite of his ice cream.

“Yeah, the whole two days too. Are you coming?.” You looked up to him. He was taller than you are and you wondered to yourself how taller he will be after puberty.

“I’ll be on flyer duty.”

“Oh samesies! Though I’m kinda hesitant because you know, I’m kinda awkward with people. We need to encourage people and I’m not exactly the most sociable person.” You laughed at him as you noticed that it was already your house.

“I’ll see you then, Y/N!” Jaemin waved as you opened the door to your house. 

The day of the volunteer event came along. You were on flyer duty with Jaemin, handing out flyers to everyone who passed by. It’s not even afternoon yet and you felt yourself getting tired and your social battery draining from interacting with strangers on the street. Jaemin on the other hand was his usual happy self. Big smiles to everyone passing by and handing out flyers to them.

“Are you tired already?” He said as he took a sip of water while the two of you were on break.

“A little. I think I woke up funny.” You told him as he handed you a bottle of water as you took shade in the event tent.

“Well, do you want me to take you to your mom?” His voice was full of concern, he extended his arm to you as you tried to stand up from sitting down.

You assured him that you were fine and as for the rest of the event, you continued to hand out flyers to anyone passing by. By the time the event was done, the two of you made your way to your parents who were clearing up the tents they used for the event. You mentioned to your parents how extremely tired you were even if you were just distributing the flyers. Before you know it, Jaemin’s hands are now on your cheeks and forehead.

“I think she has a fever.” His voice was stern and you just looked at him with big eyes. Your parents looked at you with concern and recommended that you skip the 2nd day of the volunteer event to take some rest. As the day came to an end, you boarded the mini van your parents owned, Jaemin and his family carpooling with yours.

“Are you okay with being alone during the flyer duty tomorrow?” You sighed as Jaemin sat at the back of the car with you.

“I’m just going to distribute flyers, not lift a tent. I’ll be fine, Y/N. You should get some rest.” Jaemin smiled at you as you rest your head against the car window and drift to sleep.

The next days weren’t as eventful as you just stayed at home, trying to recover from the fever you just had. You barely remembered the events that happened during the car ride home as you were asleep the whole time, heck. You did however hear Jaemin ask your mom if you will be fine. You looked over your phone to check what time was it but you were greeted with a few text message notifications from Jaemin.

“Get well soon, Y/N!”

“I’ll distribute the hell out of these flyers.”

“If you feel a little better today, we could play online games together after the event”

“Cheering for you to get better!” -NJM

You smiled to yourself as you saw his messages. Jaemin always had a way with his words. It’s like he knew what to say at the right moment and you liked that about him. The way he knows when to joke around and be mature has always been one of his greatest qualities. He wasn’t like the other boys in your class. The way he knows how to sympathize with you or your classmates during a conflict always amazes you. You always told him how it would be great for him to become class president but he always shrugs the idea of it. He tells you that he has no interest in (classroom) politics. He always mentioned how he was going to be a doctor because it was always his passion to help other people and make them feel better. You could say he’s a natural on how he would go out of his way to help your classmates, teachers, and when he tags along his mom’s volunteer events. You start to feel better as the day progresses and you hear a car pull up outside your bedroom window. You looked out and you saw your parents get out with Jaemin’s family. They were taking their time unloading the tents they used for the volunteer event, when Jaemin looked up, he saw that you were staring from your window, which prompted him to wave at you and shout your name, “Y/N! I’m coming over! Wait!” He settled the box he was holding at the ground and hurried to your house. Jaemin was extra giddy and excited to get to your house that he almost tripped on the stairs on your doorstep. You looked at yourself in the mirror making sure you look at least presentable. When you opened the front door Jaemin was there with a huge smile on his face, his breathing was heavy after he just sprinted from outside to your doorstep. Before anything, he grabbed your cheeks and forehead again to check if you still had a fever.

“No more fever! Let’s go to your room!” Jaemin huffed as he removed his hands from your face. You gestured him to step inside the house and he sprinted immediately to your room, you laughed as you followed him.

“What got you so excited today?” You settled yourself in the swivel chair next to your desk. Jaemin was still pacing back and forth in your room, obviously out of excitement at the news he was about to tell you.

“Well, I got scouted! By SM Entertainment! While giving away flyers!” He almost jumped at his own news.

“Oh, OH, OH!! YOU DID?!” It was your turn to jump out of excitement. “Like SHINee, SM Entertainment? SNSD SM Entertainment? EXO?” Jaemin just nodded excitedly as he explained how a lady approached him when he was distributing flyers during the volunteer event. How he screamed for his mom when the scouting lady gave him her calling card. You couldn’t believe it as well. You and Jaemin once talked about being idols out of fun and how you never saw yourself being one because you’re shy, but Jaemin presented a little bit of interest. Jaemin was a good dancer as well, another addition to the good qualities he possess.

“Oh, Nana!! You can get me in concerts for free! I can meet SHINee!” you were getting ahead of yourself. Jaemin explained that he has to go to an audition in the city next week and if he passes, he has to start training immediately.

“I had to transfer schools too.” Jaemin explained.

“Oh, I guess that would make sense.” You can feel your energy go down when Jaemin explains that he had to leave if it means that he had to be an idol. You understood of course, but you can’t help but be sad over the fact that Jaemin might not return.

“But hey, at least YOU’RE going to be an idol! Oh my god, don’t you ever dare to forget about me!” You tried to lighten the mood as you playfully hit his arm.

“Come on, how could I forget about you! We practically grew up together.” Jaemin reached for your cheeks for him to pinch. “We’re practically twins!” He exclaimed as he continued to pinch your cheeks.

“You’re a week older, please.” You tried to swat his hands away and pinch him back but he was quick to dodge your attacks.

You and Jaemin spent the whole night imagining all the things he’s going to do once he’s an idol. Your bedroom floor was littered with crumpled paper as you insisted that he needs to practice his autograph and how you’re going to sell the crumpled paper of his autograph once he’s famous. The two of you looked at dance practice videos on what he should dance for his audition, you suggested it could be something from EXO since they’re getting quite big. The two of you exchange scenarios on what Jaemin could do once he’s big and famous.

“I will get a dog, hopefully a Samoyed. They’re so fluffy and you’re going to be his vet.” Jaemin laughed at the thought. You remembered you mentioned to him that you wanted to be a veterinarian one time when you two were walking back home. You can’t help but smile because you can’t believe that he actually remembers.

“That’s a deal. First, pass the audition, get famous, and then get Samoyed. They’re high maintenance dogs, you know?” You raised an eyebrow at him and he just flashed his signature smile.

“That’s why you’re going to be the vet! I know you’ll treat my Samoyed baby well.”

The two of you ended up laughing over the scenarios you made up. Both of your imaginations run wild as the night deepens. Before you know it, your mom was knocking at your door and she laughed when she saw the rejected autograph samples on the floor. 

“Jaemin-ah, we will save this and sell these once you get famous.” Your mom smiled at him as the two of you exited your room together. Jaemin being his polite self, bowed at your parents and said his goodbyes. You walked him to the front door and said your goodbyes to each other. His house was directly in front of yours and you waved at him as you waited for him to reach his house, he waved back as you watched him close the door to his house. You couldn’t believe it, your childhood friend, Na Jaemin, is going to be an idol.

The week went by way too fast for your liking. Before you knew it, you were standing outside of your house getting ready to send off Jaemin and his family for his trip to Seoul for an audition to become an idol. You were a nervous nail biter and Jaemin took notice of it. 

“Tsk, don’t bite your nails.” he tutted his head when he saw you bite your nails. He patted your head as he was about to say his goodbyes. Your mom was there as well, wishing Jaemin to bring his A game for the audition.

“You have to pass, Nana! You need to make me meet EXO!” You were now holding back your tears. The thought of Jaemin leaving suddenly became real. You could always count on Jaemin to be brave and confident on your behalf. Jaemin voiced out whenever you were shy to give out an opinion or when the cashier in the convenience store gave you a few bucks short of your change. Jaemin was the voice of reason whenever you overthink about random things. Jaemin was a good friend, he always included you in his plans, he asked you to play online games with him. Jaemin was the first to worry when you missed classes knowing how important it was for you to catch up. In a sense, Jaemin was your rock.

“I’m always going to cheer for you, Y/N. You can always text me or call me.” Jaemin now pulled you in a hug. You were shocked over the fact that he hugged you, his chin resting on top of your head. He knows that you were about to cry over the fact that he’s about to leave. Your instincts tell you to return the hug, a few sobbing sounds escaping as Jaemin continues to pat your head.

“Be brave. I know you can be brave.” It was almost a whisper and you looked up to Jaemin to meet his eyes. You just gave him a short nod as you pulled away from the hug to wipe your tears. Jaemin gets into his parents car and waves at you one last time. You watched through your tear stained eyes as their car drove off. You reached for your phone as you were going to type something for Jaemin, until you noticed that he texted first.

“I’m always going to be here for you :)” - NJM

===

Summer 2016

You woke up with the sun shining on your face. You tried to grab your phone that was haphazardly thrown in your bed when you fell asleep last night. Another summer day wasted doom scrolling on your phone or when you had to keep yourself awake by watching series or playing online games. It has been weeks since high school finished, after so many sleepless nights in cram school and your extracurriculars. You spent the running weeks catching up on sleep and killing time. You tried to distract yourself with anything really. You checked your phone and saw what time it was, 11:30 AM. You could feel your stomach protesting as you sat up. With scattered cans of soda, bottled water, and chip bags across your room, you thought to yourself if a raccoon ransacked your room, it wasn’t in its best shape and you thought that it was almost like a visual representation of your thoughts. You made a mental note to do some summer cleaning so you can finally get rid of the mess you have accumulated and throw out all the notebooks and papers you used during your time in highschool.

You took notice of the emptiness of your house. Your mom must have gone out to get some groceries and your dad is probably now at work. They were never really home buddies. Your mom is usually out gardening or doing some extra volunteer work to help the community which made her known in your neighborhood, your dad was always a hard worker but he also tried his best to be present in your family. You know that your parents aren’t perfect but they try to make do with what you have and you appreciate them for that. You scanned the whole kitchen to see if there are any leftovers you can heat up for breakfast or even make toast. Your eyes gravitated to the loaf of bread sitting on your counter, “Toast it is.” you sighed to yourself as you grabbed two slices of bread and opened a carton of banana milk. As you were eating your toast, you could hear your mom come inside the house, dragging big bags of groceries as she made her way inside your house.

“Great, you’re up. Come help me get these inside, Y/N!” Your mom said as she continued to haul the groceries inside. You obliged and carried the bags inside, helping your mom.

“Do we have another feeding program? These are tons of groceries.” You sighed at her, unloading the contents of the bags.

“Oh, no we don’t have any volunteer events lined up this month. The Nas are returning from Seoul. We’re having them over for dinner.” your mom replied, as she washes the vegetables you just took out.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Has it really been 3 years since Na Jaemin left? You took a sip of your coffee as you pondered the possible events that will transpire when they arrive. You haven’t heard from Jaemin for almost 3 years, you could say life got in the way. You got busy with high school, trying to excel academically by passing all your subjects with flying colors and doing cram schools. It’s not like your parents were forcing you to become a trophy child, in fact they were the ones to get worried when they found out that you were pushing yourself to the brink of exhaustion trying to get good grades. But Jaemin, Jaemin had a really different path from yours. 3 years ago, he told you that he will be auditioning to become an idol and he went to Seoul. The day that he told you that he passed the auditions, you were so happy for him that the two of you had a celebratory ice cream and skyped the whole time catching up. He did tell you that he will be staying in Seoul with his mom since he had to go train right after he passed. You frowned over the thought that you will probably not see Jaemin as he will be enrolling in a different school. A memory passed by when you and Jaemin were still having regular skype calls with each other.

“We can still play games together, yeah Y/N?” He said through the screen, trying to provide you with assurance.

“Yeah, I guess. But I have so many things to do, Nana. I have to focus on school now. I need to get on the honor roll. But you know, maybe during weekends we can go online.” You sighed as you tried to remember all the extra curricular activities you signed up for.

“Don’t overwork yourself.” he smiled. Even if it was through a computer screen, you could feel Jaemin was still concerned for you, he never missed an opportunity to remind you to take care of yourself.

“Don’t skip a meal.” He chuckled as he gestures the ice cream he was holding in front of the camera.

“You too, Nana. Don’t practice too hard.” You smiled as you said your goodbye to him through the screen.

And that was the last time you and Jaemin had a conversation together. The two of you got busier and busier as the years went by. All your sleepless nights were preparing you for college, while Jaemin’s sleepless nights were dedicated to practicing for their debut. You never bothered to contact Jaemin during these years, you know that he also had it hard for himself so you somehow understood the pressure he was under. When you first saw Jaemin appear on the TV as part of the SM Rookies Mickey Mouse Club, you couldn’t believe it. He was with other SM Rookies who were his teammates during the show. You were amazed with how he danced and how he presented himself. Jaemin was now the talk of the town, your classmates were cooped up in their phone whenever Jaemin had new content. It was like he was set up for fame even before his official idol debut. You wondered to yourself if he changed, if fame went to his head and he is no longer the boy you grew up with. He still had that big grin and his familiar doe eyes. You can feel your cheeks heating up upon the thought of meeting Jaemin after 3 years. Does he still remember you after all this time?

The time running up to dinner time was excruciatingly long. You weren’t sure why you were anxious over meeting Jaemin, maybe because he’s actually famous now and you thought to yourself that you were still an awkward teenager. You were a nervous cleaner, you always tidied your room or rearranged the furniture in your bedroom whenever you were nervous. It’s not like Jaemin will go straight to your room to hangout like when you were kids. 16 was a complicated age, with raging hormones and everything, you thought that Jaemin was not going to your room to hangout. But still you cleaned up, chucking all the soda cans and chip bags in the garbage, sweeping and even vacuuming your bedroom floor. You also had a dilemma on what you were going to wear, but you cringed at the thought that you would probably look too overdressed if you tried hard to look presentable. You settled for shorts and a pullover. “It’s just dinner. What on earth are you nervous for?” you sighed to yourself after looking in front of your mirror. You hurried downstairs to assist your mom in preparing the table set up for dinner. As you were doing the prepping, you heard a knock on your front door.

“Go get the door, Y/N. I need to finish this.” you mom shooed you and you could feel your heart drop to your stomach. “Okay, be normal, Y/N” you assured yourself as you inhaled deeply as you opened the door.

“Y/N!”

You couldn’t believe your eyes. It was really Jaemin, greeting you with the familiar big smile. He had gotten taller, his hair dyed brown, his voice definitely gotten deeper than you used to remember. It’s like your words were stuck to your throat, as if you forgot how to speak.

“Can we come in?” Jaemin’s voice echoed and you snapped out of your trance.

“Y-yeah, please come in.” You prayed that the nervousness wasn’t visible in your voice, you gestured for them to come inside and you directed them to the dining room where your mom just finished her table set up. 

“Mrs. Y/LN, this is for you, well for the whole family.” Jaemin handed your mom a bouquet of flowers and you could feel yourself blushing. You knew that Jaemin had always been polite, but the flower gesture was new and you found it sweet. Before you knew it, your parents were now rounding everyone up for dinner.

You were sat across from Jaemin and his dad during dinner. You tried your hardest not to stare, not only would it be rude, but it would definitely be awkward. Stories about Jaemin’s idol training days floated around the table, how his debut with the group NCT Dream was fast approaching and they had a few weeks to themselves before the debut stage. The adults mostly did the talking while they had a couple of drinks. You were okay with listening to the stories until you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder.

“Hello, Y/N!” Jaemin flashed his smile at you again. You blinked a couple of times before returning his hello. Obviously, he wanted to catch up with you and let the adults have their adult conversation without the teenagers. He excused the both of you to your parents and went outside to the open garden, carrying a soda bottle and glasses for the two of you to share. You sat down separate chairs next to each other, the cool summer breeze hitting your skin. Jaemin poured soda to both glasses and he gestured his glass close to you as if you were clinking champagne. You laughed at him as you tried to mimic what the adults were doing.

“How have you been, Y/N?” he said before sipping his soda.

You hesitated before answering him. You thought it was really boring to explain to him that you were just studying the whole time, trying to be the best student you could be.

“Oh you know, the same old. Still studying.”

“Still drinking those books, I see? Are you in the honor roll?” You just nodded at his question and he let out a content smile, as if he was already expecting your answer.

“Well you, I saw you on TV.” You tried to remember the times you caught your parents watching him on Disney Channel, obviously proud that the boy next door was on TV. “Jaemin, you were pretty cool.” you felt yourself easing back to him and the awkward disappearing, as if you didn’t see each other in 3 years. That’s the thing you “liked” about Jaemin. He always made everyone around him feel less awkward and at ease. You never knew how he did it, but you were always thankful for that quality in him.

“Ahh, it’s all part of the job. Do you think I did good?”

“Oh you definitely did! Everyone in my school gushes about you. My parents watch your shows. You’re the pride of this neighborhood.” You laughed at him over the things you were saying, he just smiled sheepishly, cheeks blushing over the compliments he heard come out of you. “We’re so proud of you Jaemin.” you followed up in almost a whisper but he definitely heard.

“Ah, please. It’s just like any other job. But you, you’re doing good in school, yeah? Are you still set on that vet dream of yours?” you looked at him with surprise, he still remembered that you wanted to be a veterinarian even after all these years.

“Jaemin, you still remember? Yeah, I’m still dead set on being a vet, hopefully I could get into a good school, land a good job, you know the usual.” You chuckled because it seemed that you had your timeline planned all together.

You spent the whole time talking about your individual experiences, but it looked like he was more interested in your stories. He did mention that he was going to a performing arts highschool as this was more inline with his plans to become an idol. He listened to you go on about the current happenings with the classmates the both of you used to be with in school. He mentioned that he is schoolmates with some of the NCT Dream members and they’re even adding two more members to the roster. You found it interesting that you have a friend who’s directly involved in the idol industry. His stories seemed unbelievable, practicing up until 2am, doing recordings in the middle of the day, or even going to photoshoots. All of these schedules and they even hadn’t had their official debut yet, what more if they officially debut? Your mouth was just left ajar listening to Jaemin’s stories of his sleepless nights because of practice or how he’s trying to live in a dorm with his other members. He told you about Jeno, the guy he’s close with since they were introduced both during their time in SM Rookies. He showed you videos and pictures of them during practice, he was leaning close to you, shoulders touching as he nears his phone to you. You looked at him and noticed his features. He definitely matured, but his boyish charms still remain, his smile stayed the same. You noticed yourself staring at him longer than usual and not even paying attention to the video he was showing. You swiped your head immediately back to the video he was showing, Exo’s Love me right was playing in the background and there were 5 of them dancing to the song. Their dance steps were sharp and obviously in sync. To say that you were amazed was somewhat an understatement. You really can’t believe that he’s about to become an idol.

“But you know, I can’t help but wonder what I’d be like in a normal school.” Jaemin sighed as he pocketed his phone and you went back to your seat. To you, Jaemin seemed like he was living his best life. He was set up for success already, an amazing group with a promising future, he was already in a show and you wondered if there are already drama studios pining over him. But to Jaemin, he always wondered what could have been if he didn’t push through with the audition, he wondered how his life could be if he was a normal teenager like you, going to cram schools and hanging out with friends that are not his “workmates”. For a brief moment, Jaemin allowed himself to think about the “what ifs” he stayed in the small neighborhood you two grew up in. He thought to himself that he still wanted to become a doctor. The dream of becoming an idol, sure, he was already on his way, and it wasn’t like he wasn’t thankful for the opportunity, he just wondered how things are going to be different if he chose to pursue a different path.

“I think you’re going to do good in whatever you do.” You gave him a reassuring smile. You always knew how passionate Jaemin can get. When he dedicates his focus and attention on a project, you’re always sure that he’ll get the job done. What more if he poured all his passion into becoming an idol?

“I know I can always count on you, Y/N.” he reached out his hand up to you gesturing for a high five. You just laughed at him and met his hand up top. It was quiet again between the two of you, but it wasn’t awkward this time. You could hear both of your parents laughing inside the house and you barely paid attention to what their conversation was about. Jaemin on the other hand, was texting on his phone, he gestured that he was updating his other members about his whereabouts in their group chat. He asked if the two of you could take a selfie together so he could send it to his co-members. He teased that maybe one of his co-members would take a chance on you. You blushed at him and you covered your face, shyness taking over your body as you no longer want to participate in the picture. Jaemin laughed at you and said “sorry” as a continuous chuckle left his lips. You eventually agreed, but the thought of one of his friends liking you definitely made you feel shy. The two of you definitely touched up upon the topic of crushes and dating. He did say that he wasn’t legally allowed to date anyone or an official statement from the company had to be issued before they could start dating. It was obvious that he was irritated over such rules, “Well what if I just liked someone? Right?” you remembered him saying with such conviction. You just shrugged it off. Of course you had your own crushes in school, but you never really acted upon it. Being the shy girl that you are, the last thing you wanted to do was to embarrass yourself with a confession and be rejected. You wanted to move on from that subject which Jaemin figured out immediately and started a whole new topic together. At some point, Jaemin found himself apologizing to you for not reaching out often, saying he got busy with balancing practice and school all together, he barely had time for himself. An exchange of “sorrys” and “it was my fault” rallied between the two of you, in the end you just agreed that life got in the way and there were no ill-feelings for each other just for the lack of updates.

“But you know what, it’s fine. I get to see you on TV or on Youtube, that’s kinda like an update for me.” You said as you poured more soda to his glass.

“Eh, I guess? But I never really had any updates about you except what my mom gets from your mom. Maybe we could do better with updating each other instead of the information I get from my mom. Like getting direct insights from the source.” He laughed as he pointed to his phone, gesturing for you to add him on SNS. You pulled out your phone and exchanged devices with him. His phone continued to buzz as notifications from his co-members started to pop up on the screen.

“NOT U DATING DURING VACATION!” - LDH

“Dude! Manager-hyung explicitly told us not to date. But is she like taken, tho?” - MARK

“Is she interested with guys younger than her? Asking for a friend.” - PJS

“NOT U SHOOTING UR SHOT AT HER!” - ZCL

“Your friends are weird.” You chuckled at Jaemin as you hand over his phone, you could feel the blush rush up your face again.

“They definitely are.”

Before you knew it, it was a few minutes ‘til midnight. Your parents and Jaemin’s were obviously intoxicated and their conversations took longer than expected. But you and Jaemin didn’t mind. You had your own conversations together, jumping from one topic to another, reminiscing about your shared childhood together, stalking old classmates in SNS, your plans for the future.

“It’s getting pretty late, Jaemin.” You heard his dad say from the inside. The two of you stood up from the chair you were seated in, stretching in the process.

“It’s not like my house is far from here.” He whispered at you and you just laughed at his comment.

Jaemin and his parents said their thanks to your family. His mom commented that they should do this often if they’re not busy, as if they never ran out of things to talk about as well. Jaemin bowed to your parents and you did the same to him. An obvious smile lingering on your face as you escort their family on the front door of your house. Just like before, Jaemin waited before you got back inside your house, he waved goodbye at you and you returned the gesture. The moment you went back to your room, you peeked out the window to see Jaemin’s room from yours. You could see a faint orange light coming out from his room, most likely from the lamp he had in his old room. You were about to shut your blinds when you saw the faint light from his room flicker 3 times. You smiled to yourself. It was you and Jaemin’s way of saying goodnight back when you were kids. You returned the light flicker 3 times, and watched his room go dark. You found yourself smiling at the gesture. It was nice to see Jaemin after all this time.

===

Summer 2021

Life definitely got in the way. You’re now 21, an adult with responsibilities. Trying to balance your studies and a part time job as well. You didn’t want to fully rely on your parents to pay for your college expenses especially that they’re not getting any younger. So when you got into Seoul National University for Veterinary Medicine with a partial scholarship, you grabbed it immediately. You finally got into your dream school taking up the course you’ve always dreamt of. Only one year left until you graduate. But with having a partial scholarship and all, that would mean that the money your parents saved off for your college is going straight to school fees and that would mean that you have to work your ass off to provide for your living expenses. The first few years were hard on you. Having to be separated from your parents, countless nights having 2 meals a day, most of them consisting of instant ramen. You had to do anything to get by. You part timed as a barista for a coffee shop for quite some time now, even took up essay writing jobs for college students just to make ends meet, and now working as a vet assistant for an animal clinic in Seoul. Most of the work is clerical, sometimes you had to work overtime, sometimes you got bit by rowdy dogs or scratched by cats, and not to mention, dealing with rude pet owners, but the pay was good enough for you to stay in this job. You just arrived in your job, clocking in as you rush in from your the coffee shop directly to the clinic to be the on-shift vet assistant. You looked at the clipboard of appointments for today and you just let out a heavy sigh. The clinic is fully booked up until 8pm, that means you’ll be in the clinic until 9pm for the closing. You sit down in the receptionist chair as you gather the records of the patients, handing over forms to the owners who were first timers in your clinic. As tasking as it may sound, being a veterinary doctor was your lifelong dream. You always had a passion for taking care of animals, you loved taking care of them. When you were younger, you had a pet named Sowon. You remembered the time you introduced the cat to Jaemin and the cat immediately walked up to him and cozied itself to his lap. The three of you used to play outside your garden, tying up strings on the end of the stick and making Sowon chase the tied up ribbons. Unfortunately, the cat suffered from feline distemper and you found him lying lifeless in your garden one rainy day. You remembered how hard you cried for weeks over Sowon’s passing, how Jaemin visited you everyday until you felt a little bit better, handing over homework that you missed for school. He even got you a cat plushie that resembled Sowon’s calico fur pattern, which until today you sleep with. You could say that Sowon fueled your passion for this kind of career. You couldn’t bare to have another owner mourn the loss of a pet. Of course you know you couldn’t save everyone, but maybe at least you could help them have a better life, regardless of their condition. “Okay, time to focus.” you said to yourself as you take a sip of your iced coffee behind the desk. “Patient 1001, the vet is now ready to see you.” You escorted an old lady and lifted the carrier that was on her side, a small bark echoing throughout the clinic.

“It’s going to be okay, buddy.” you cooed at the small dog inside the carrier. When you reached the vet’s check up room, you left the old lady and her dog with the veterinarian so he could conduct the check up. Same scenarios went on until 2pm. It was definitely a late lunch for you, but that’s the only window you had for lunch. The last patient was too much to handle, a very nippy pomeranian who thinks that she’s 10 times her size. Her owner didn’t do much either. You stepped out from the clinic and went to a nearby coffee shop to get more coffee. As you were walking the streets of Seoul, you could hear KPOP music blasting off from stalls. It was a different song each stall, it wasn’t much of a sensory overload for you, you were just trying to get your coffee. You found yourself humming to one of the music from the stalls, it was “My Youth”. Your mind immediately drifts off to Jaemin. You wondered how he was doing now. 5 years ago, you promised to stay in touch, trying to update each other with the mundane things in life. Jaemin definitely became a lot busier after the debut of NCT Dream. He was in every music show with NCT Dream, bagging awards left and right, having modeling campaigns, touring the world with his co-members. The last message the two of you exchanged was from 2 years ago when you texted him “Happy Chuseok” and he replied back with “Happy Chuseok to you too, Y/N!” you never bothered to further the conversation. You knew that he was a very busy person and as if you weren’t coping with your studies, you barely had time to balance your studies, multiple jobs, and a social life all together. The only time you really had a “true” break is when you visited your parents back in their house and even that only lasted for a few days before going back to busy Seoul to continue working. You smiled as Jaemin’s line came in.

지나간 시간 속에

돌아갈 수 없기에

그렇기에

더욱더 소중한가 봐

(In the time that passed Where you can’t go back Because of it I think it’s more precious)

You finally reached the coffee shop and ordered your usual. This was already your 3rd coffee for today. The 2nd coffee from the vending machine you just had wasn’t really working for you. You hurried back to the vet clinic so you can finally eat your lunch in the small pantry you shared with the other veterinarians and assistants. You looked over the small TV that was propped up the shared refrigerator. MCounted was on and you could see that NCT Dream was getting awarded and getting ready for their encore stage as “Hello Future” wins another award. You realized how much Jaemin and his members changed. He looked buffed, like he had been spending more hours at the gym. Not that you’ve taken a long hard look at him when he’s literally all over the internet or their posters plastered all across Seoul. He was definitely the scrawny boy you used to play with when you were a kid or the awkward teen you had long conversations with that one summer night. Jaemin definitely looked more mature, even if his hair was tousled messily to the overall aesthetic of his look, he was undeniably handsome. You could say the same for his co-members, they definitely bloomed and no longer looked like teenagers getting up on their hoverboards to perform Chewing Gum, which always amused you for some reason. You watched the show as they got ready to perform another encore stage after taking home the trophy for that day. It was Jaemin’s turn to thank everyone and dedicate the award to their fans. His voice was definitely deeper than you last remembered. It was fun watching him goof around with his other members, just having fun during their encore stage. He was bouncing around too, definitely too energetic for the tempo of the song, but you found it funny. You looked at the time on your phone and just like that, lunch time was over. You dragged yourself out of the pantry and went back to the receptionist desk, iced coffee on hand. You went back to your usual routine, logging in forms, calling patients, giving out forms to new patients, the works. Before you know it, it’s already 7:45 PM. The last patient was supposed to come at 8 PM. You already had a long day, all you wanted to do was get ready for closing and be home even before 9 PM. You started tidying up the receptionist's desk, lining up the chairs and wiping down the couch. You looked up at the clock, it’s already 7:55 PM. There’s no way they will make it, whatever appointment they had for that will definitely be moved for the next day. You were about to mop the whole clinic when you saw a car pull up near the curb.

“Doc, it’s 7:57 PM, come on now. Just when I’m about to start moping.” you whined at the veterinarian as you pointed to her the wet mop you were holding in your left hand.

The door swung open and you heard the door chime ring. It seems like you don’t have much of a choice, you settled the mop down the bucket and went over to the receptionist desk to hand whoever went inside a form for them to fill out. Two men towered over you as you handed over the clipboard with the form attached to it, barely making eye contact as you pan your eyes to the carrier next to them.

“Sir, please fill this out. I don’t think your dog has a record here yet.” You said as you squat down to take a look at the dog in the carrier. “The vet will see you in a short while.” You said in a monotonous tone as you took the clipboard from the owner, you looked up to meet the two men who were looking at you. You felt uneasy. They were wearing masks and bucket hats and you could barely figure out who they were. Having celebrities walk inside the clinic you work for was not a new feat for you, you’ve seen countless idols walk in with their pets inside. It was no longer new for you. They’re probably another idol with a pet. But you were feeling quite uneasy as the taller latter was still eyeing you.

“Sir, is there anything I could help you with?” you asked him, trying to hide that you felt somewhat intimidated by his gaze. He didn’t reply, instead, he just walked over one of the couches you just wiped and sat down.

“What a weirdo.” You thought to yourself and proceeded to attend to the owner and assist him to the check up room with his dog. The dog let out a small bark as soon as you lifted the carrier.

“Daegal, please be quiet. We’ll be quick, I promise.” the owner’s voice was gentle as he stuck his finger inside the carrier to help his dog calm down. As soon as you reached the check up room, you settled the carrier to the table and went back to the reception desk. The taller guy was still sitting on the couch, facing you as he continued to fiddle with his phone. You heard your phone buzz from the pocket of your scrubs, you picked it up and your eyes widened as you saw what the notification was

1 Notification from Na Jaemin

You looked up and you saw the man sat in front of you remove his hat and mask. You cannot believe your eyes, you fixed your glasses, unsure what it really did but hoping it adjusted your vision. You cannot believe your eyes, after what seems to be 6 years, you’re seeing Jaemin for the first time again.

“Jaemin-ssi. Is that really you?” You felt like your throat was tied up, barely able to say something as Jaemin walked over the reception desk.

“Aw what happened to calling me ‘Nana’?” He chuckled as he leaned over the reception desk.

“Look at you!” he smiled at you, his hair still styled in a tousle like it was when you saw him on TV earlier, the only difference was he was wearing a white shirt and jeans. “Are you finally a vet?” he continued.

“Ah, n-no. I’m just an assistant here. I have one more year left until I finish my degree. Still in vet med.” You found yourself stuttering over Jaemin once again, as if moments ago you were ready to cuss him out when he was staring daggers at you.

He let out a silent “wow”, his eyes getting bigger out of amusement on what you just told him.

“How are you?” you managed to say.

“Eh, same old same old. I’m just accompanying Chenle and his dog here. Something about a vaccine?” 

It was silent for a moment, you weren’t really sure what to ask him when you just saw him a few hours ago on the TV receiving an award, you thought of congratulating him but wouldn’t that be awkward? You were racking your head as if it was a rolodex of terrible small talk openings.

“It’s really nice to see you again. I know you’re thinking of something to say. You squint your eyes a little when you do and you still do it.” Jaemin’s words caught you off guard. Of course he wasn’t a mind reader, he just really knew you when you were kids, he was noticing the tiniest details that you even missed.

“Classic Nana.” you shook your head as you smiled at your expression. When was exactly the last time you called him by his nickname. Jaemin smiled when he heard that you addressed him with his nickname.

“I should call my mom later. She will never believe that we saw each other.” He smiled as he continued to type on his phone.

“When did you move here? You didn’t tell me?” Jaemin continued, finally meeting your gaze as you finished typing something for your mother as well, you pretended you never heard the last part.

You explained to him how you got into SNU for VetMed on a partial scholarship, how you had to work while studying to support your living expenses. Living in Seoul was no joke, it was expensive and you need all the money you can get to live at least decently and support your studies. You explained to him how you worked as a barista during your earlier years and finally landing a job as an assistant in this vet clinic. As if nothing has changed, Jaemin was still an attentive listener. You thought that your Seoul story was boring as hell as it’s almost the same with everyone who’s trying to make it in the city.

“But I’m in my last year, so the next academic year, I will be finally free from the academic shackles, and slip on the capitalism shackles.” You even managed to get out a joke in front of him, the awkwardness dissipating from the air. There’s something with Jaemin’s presence that always makes you feel at ease, but you can’t never put your tongue on it.

A few small talks here and there, but mostly it was about you. Jaemin was so eager to know more about university life, how college was treating you so far.

“But hey look at you! I can hear your songs practically from every stall I walk into. Also a successful album and a tour in your belt? Come on now Jaemin, that is impressive.” You tried to divert the conversation from you to him. He was achieving more than you could imagine, you almost found it annoying that he was being coy about his achievements.

“Couldn’t have done it without the boys. Thank you.” He flashed a smile at you, even when accepting compliments, Jaemin always lifted up his members together with him.

You were catching up with Jaemin, telling each other stories about your moms. You found out that even after all these years, Jaemin was donating to the same foundation you used to volunteer for together back when you were kids. You told him that you weren’t that much active in volunteering but always tried to find time to dedicate a few hours of your free time for the foundation. You felt a little guilty now because as much as you wanted to donate, your financial situation isn’t that great.

“Come one now, Y/N. The important thing is that we’re still dedicating our resources for the cause. So don’t you dare feel guilty because I think you’re still doing a super job.” As always, you could count on Jaemin to say the right thing at the right time.

You noticed Chenle and his dog Daegal come out of the check up room now. Daegal, sulking in Chenle’s arms, obviously upset over the vet visit.

“She looked like she didn’t have fun.” Jaemin looked over Daegal and scratched the dog’s head. “If I was your dad I wouldn’t book a late appointment.” Jaemin is now baby talking Daegal who seemed to prefer Jaemin instead of her original owner.

“I’m not letting her stay in the dorms. You lot are filthy as hell.” Chenle scoffed as he put Daegal back in her carrier.

“Did this knucklehead tried to make a move on you?” Chenle smiled at you as he gestured over Jaemin who was now putting on his bucket hat and mask back to his face.

“That’s Y/N, big head.” Jaemin slapped Chenle’s arm as he fixed his mask on to his face.

“Oh wow! Are you really now? It’s a pleasure to meet you. You know my hyung always -”

“OKAY CHENLE WE GET IT YOU ALSO HAVE A BIG MOUTH” Jaemin cut off Chenle before he could say something embarrassing.

“Thank you, we’ll take Daegal here often. I’m thinking of switching vets.” And with that you saw the two men leave the vet clinic. Jaemin, on the other hand, waved goodbye at you as you watched the car fade into the dark street. You couldn’t believe what just happened, as if fate was playing some weird tricks with you. Meeting Jaemin again after a long time was literally pushed at the back of your mind. You heard your phone buzz once again, excitedly you opened the notification.

“It was so good to see you, Y/N. I hope we can catch up if you’re not that busy?” - NJM

You smiled to yourself, you can’t believe after all this time, Jaemin still remembers you, how his attitude and demeanor barely changed, how physically different he is now compared back when you were teens (puberty definitely hit him hard), how successful he is now. You tapped your response to your phone. You were definitely excited to see your old childhood friend. You hesitated to send your response. You thought about your reply, being seen with an idol in a public space will definitely put a target on your head even if there’s nothing malicious or romantic between the two of you.

“I would like to catch up. Just tell me the time and place. I’ll be there.”

You hit send and in an instant, you could feel the butterflies in your stomach go off and you mentally curse at yourself for doing so. What’s wrong with old childhood friends just catching up?

“Is it okay if I just pick you up? I’ll have food delivered over here at the dorms, anything you like. Because you know… :)” - NJM

“I’ll introduce you to the guys.” - NJM

You knew what he was implying. You were unsure of what you were about to reply. It’s not like you haven’t been in another guy’s house, but to be inside an idol dorm, this was different. But it’s Jaemin and you trust him, you know he wont do anything that will put you in danger or an uncomfortable situation.

“It’s fine, Nana. Just let me know when :) Stay safe!”

And with that you hit send and continued with your closing errands in the clinic with a smile on your face.

You mentally prepare yourself for the “catching up” you were about to do with Jaemin. You don’t even know what it means, but sure as hell you know it’s not a date, just two childhood friends, talking about life. Nothing weird is about to happen. You looked at yourself one last time in front of the mirror. You prayed to the gods that you weren’t underdressed or overdressed. A few minutes later, your phone rang and you immediately reached out for it. It was Jaemin, he told you that he was about to pull over and asked for the floor of your flat. You just shrugged that he shouldn’t come out of his car and that you’ll just wait in the lobby of your apartment building. Jaemin on the other hand was not about to have this conversation with you, he tutted that it’s not polite to make you wait in the lobby while he stays in his car. You couldn’t argue back because you know the two of you will loop in an argument instead of getting something done. In a span of 10 minutes, you heard a soft knock on your door. You frantically scanned your apartment, what if he sees the match box you’re currently living in. But it didn’t matter, Jaemin was literally outside your door. You opened the door and you saw him standing there with a grin on his face as you squeaked “Hello” at him. He gestured his arms in a half circle, as if he was asking you to take his arms. You just scoffed at him and slapped his arms away.

“No way, do you want me to have a bounty on my head?” You laughed at him as he crossed his arms to his chest, laughing at your response.

When you got to his car, you immediately noticed the scent inside. It smelled like freshly washed linen, his car was clean, definitely one of those fancy smart cars that you can only see on the internet. At the backseat of the car were bags of food. The drive to their dorms was quite quick, before you knew it you were standing in front of the door of their dorms. You remembered what Chenle said when he was in the vet clinic with Jaemin, was the whole place really thrashed? Were you here to help them clean? Jaemin asked if you could hold the bags of food he was holding to get the keys from his pocket. You didn’t even mind what he was saying. Your mind was traveling to different topics right now, you didn’t know what to expect.

“Here let me get that.” your hands and Jaemins briefly grazed each other as he was getting the bags from your hold. Their dorm was big, a couple of rooms in the hallway, the whole place smelled like lavender. Definitely way different from what Chenle just said.

“As you can see, Chenle lied.” Jaemin lied as he settled the food on the kitchen counter. “You can sit down anywhere you want.” Jaemin continued. You looked like a lost puppy right now, you can’t even decide on where to sit, Jaemin could tell that you were nervous and he walked over to you.

“Y/N it’s fine you can sit here.” He gestured at the couch behind you and you sank down the couch. Jaemin on the other hand was bringing over food and drinks to the coffee table in front of you. You helped yourself with the food and drinks as Jaemin excused himself for a short while for a quick bathroom break. In just a few moments, you heard footsteps coming down from the hallway. They were heavy and loud,

“Hey Renjun, I’ve been playing all day when is Jaemin coming-” the voice was cut off when he saw you sitting down on the couch.

“Well this was awkward.” you thought to yourself. The man was just as stunned as you are. He was tan and his legs long as you noticed that he was just wearing Tshirts and basketball shirts. You noticed that his stunned face turned to a confident smile as he made his way to the chair next to yours.

“Hi, I’m Haechan. You must be Y/N.” he extended his hand towards you and you reluctantly shook his hand.

“Stop being weird Haechan.” You finally heard Jaemin’s voice and eased. You don’t really want to introduce yourself to them as your nervousness might take over unconsciously.

“Tsk so fussy, Jaemin. I just introduced myself to her! Anyway, it was nice to meet you Y/N. I’ll be in my room if you need me or if we need to introduce ourselves formally.” Haechan walked away with a piece of pizza and soda can hand in hand.

“Sorry about him, he’s always like that.” Jaemin took up the free space on the couch next to you.

“It’s fine, I was just surprised. I didn’t anticipate that I would be introducing myself alone.” You smiled at Jaemin.

The day went by exchanging stories with each other. From time to time, you were able to meet the other members who were cooped up in their room, trying to enjoy their me-time on their obviously tight schedule. In a few moments, Jeno finally came out of his room and joined you and Jaemin to listen to the childhood stories you shared with Jaemin. Jeno was all smiles during the whole ordeal, like Jaemin, he was a keen listener. A few moments later, the main door opened and three men entered. It was Mark, Renjun, and Chenle.

“Y/N!” Chenle exclaimed as he grabbed a pizza slice from the box in front of you.

“Ahhh so this is Y/N.” Renjun just nodded and gave you a bright smile. Renjun was sweet and polite, he definitely lit up the whole room.

“Ji! Come out! Don’t let me drag you out here.” Renjun shouted from the hallways as he tried to pry Jisung out of their shared room.

“Hi, I’m Mark. It’s nice to finally meet you.” Mark flashed you a sweet smile as he settled himself in a chair next to Jeno.

“Jisung I swear to god if you don’t come out! You too Haechan, get out of here.” Renjun’s voice thundered across the whole dorm, the other boys seemed to not mind as if this was already a normal feat in their dorms.

Jaemin on the other hand was rubbing the back of his head, partly embarrassed that his members were acting as if you weren’t there.

“You’ll get used to it.” Jaemin whispered at you as bickering between them ensued.

“This is normal Y/N. I hope you don’t mind.” Jeno laughed as he got another piece of chicken. You really didn’t mind. Growing up, you had the same dynamic with your cousins. Most of them loud and bicker a lot, which was unusual if you were looking from the outside in. This made you understand their dynamics.

“We’re really better than this if we try hard enough.” Mark just laughed as he opened the soda bottle in front of him.

Renjun emerged from the hallways with Haechan and Jisung next to him.

“Hi!” Jisung barely made a sound, the latter obviously shy when he saw you sitting there. You just waved back at him and smiled. You get him, he’s just as shy as you are.

The whole day passed and stories were exchanged between you and the Dreamies. You told them your story about assisting a cesarean operation for a dog in your vet clinic, most of them fascinated over the information they just heard, the others (Jisung and Jeno) were covering their ears the whole time as your story telling got graphic by the minute. They also told you stories about their tours and places they’ve been to, different experiences they had in each country they visited. Talking to them was almost the same with the dynamic you had with Jaemin. The awkwardness disappeared as the night progressed. Before you knew it, it was getting late. You still have an early morning shift at the vet clinic tomorrow. You looked over your wrist watch and Jaemin took notice.

“You have work tomorrow?” He asked as he leaned over next to you but still kept his distance.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I am having so much fun though.” You sighed as you gathered your things. “I could book a taxi so you don’t have to drive this late at night.” As soon as you realized what you just said, the room grew silent as if you just said something so blasphemous.

“He’s taking you home, Y/N. Not safe.” Mark said as he got another slice of pizza to stuff into his mouth.

“It’s really no big deal. I think my apartment is not even 30 minutes from here. The fare wouldn’t be that expensive, I think.”

“No, I’ll take you home, Y/N.” Jaemin finally spoke up, his words stern but you don’t get it, you just admitted defeat and said your goodbyes to the boys.

On the way down the parking lobby, you asked Jaemin why the boys were so repulsed with the taxi drivers. He explained that it’s not the taxi drivers, but that some fans were quite invasive of their privacy that they would bribe the taxi drivers to drop any kind of information about them. He mentioned one time that Haechan’s sister was just dropping food for him and a crazy fan almost got into an altercation with her because she followed her home. This made Haechan go on a rant in one of his IG lives on how he will take legal action if they tried to interfere with his family ever again. You were familiar with this side of the fans, but hearing it first hand from them scare you shitless.

“So, if you ever decide to come over, just let me know. So I can pick you up and send you home.” Jaemin smiled at you as he opened the door to the passenger side.

“Thanks, Jaemin.” You smiled at him as he got into the driver's seat. Weirdly, it seemed that the ride back home to your apartment building took longer than usual but you didn’t mind. You and Jaemin spent a good 15 minutes getting lost on the same street, talking to each other in between trading directions. You reminisced about the time the two of you took care of Sowon the cat and opened up to him that you don’t think you’ll be able to get another cat or pet in the process. You talked about the time he had to do some popping dance steps in front of the class to save everyone from having a surprise history quiz. You didn’t even want the night to end. It’s been a while since you laughed for real and had fun with friends. In just a few short minutes, you find yourself in the basement parking of your apartment building, Jaemin walking beside you as you make your way to your apartment.

“I really had fun today, Nana. Please say thank you to the boys for me.” You smiled at him.

“Me too. I wish we could do this often.” He smiled back at you. One of your eyebrows was raised as he tried to back track what he just said. It was now Jaemin’s turn to be flustered.

“N-no! I mean we could hangout often as friends, like you know, before.” Jaemin was never lost of confidence, you just chuckled at him as you said goodnight to him. You found yourself a little braver after seeing Jaemin stutter like that, you gave him a small hug, inhaling his scent in the process. Jaemin gave out a small sigh and hugged you back. It was like the two of you were taken back during the time he had to leave for Seoul, which was about 8 years ago.

“Thank you, Y/N.” Jaemin smiled as he pulled away. 

“Goodnight, nana.” You closed the door behind you. You can’t believe what you just did. You hugged Jaemin. On the other side, Jaemin was smiling from ear to ear, tapping his fingers frantically on his phone as he updates their group chat on what just happened.

—-

You found yourself frequenting the Dreamies dorm. You practically became an honorary member of the group. On days matching your days off, you either frequented their dorm or went out to eat hotpot. You tried to go out with them discreetly, most of the time these hangouts or game nights were spent in their dorm. You didn’t mind and Jaemin didn’t seem to mind as well. He was always there to pick you up or take you home. You also found yourself having frequent talks with Jaemin as the time went by. You update each other of your whereabouts and schedules. “Friends, update their friends” you mumbled to yourself. It’s not like the two of you were doing something weird behind closed doors. It kinda felt normal for you because back when you were childhood friends, you used to do everything together. To you, this is just like making up for lost time. Most nights, you spend talking or texting Jaemin until one of you falls asleep. It’s usually you who goes to sleep first. Being up early in the morning usually makes you extra sleepy, Jaemin on the other hand drinks his iced americano with 6 shots of espresso. You already made him listen to the piece about basically injecting coffee in your bloodstream so he reduced the caffeine intake to just 4 shots. One of these nights was different though, it was raining hard all over Seoul. Jaemin asked you if you were at home and asked if he could spend a few hours at your home since most roads are blocked due to the heavy rain. You looked around your tiny flat. It’s just a one bedroom unit with a small kitchen and living room. You hoped Jaemin wouldn’t mind. In just a few moments, you heard a knock on your door. You were greeted with a soaking wet Jaemin.

“I forgot to bring an umbrella” He grinned at you sheepishly as he tries to take off his shoes at the landing area. You immediately grabbed a couple of towels from your closet and handed them over to him.

“Can I borrow some clothes? I really don’t want to soak your furniture.” He smiled apologetically once again, you rummaged through your closet and found a pair pajama pants and an oversized hoodie he could wear. You apologized upon seeing the design of the pajama bottoms, it was Cinnamon Roll, but Jaemin just chuckled in response. You tried to prepare something for him to eat and quickly prepared some kimchi jjigae for the both of you. When he stepped out of your bathroom, you can’t help but to laugh at him. You were amazed that the Cinnamon Roll pajama pants fit him.

“Y/N don’t laugh. I’m working with what I can here.” Jaemin just pouted and pulled the chair from your kitchen counter as he watched you prepare food for the both of you. It seemed that the rain showed no signs of slowing down, so you asked him to inform the guys that he will be waiting for the rain to pass. As he was typing on his phone, Jaemin looked up at you through his eyelashes. You were busy preparing the food for the two of you to share. He smiled to himself as he probably had dreams like this during the past. In just a few moments, you settle the bowl of kimchi jjigae in front of Jaemin, followed by 2 plates of rice. You handed him the spoon and chopsticks and sat beside him.

“I just threw what I had in the fridge, but I think it’s fine.” You smiled as you took a few spoonfuls of the soup.

Jaemin followed suit and immediately complemented your cooking. You just rolled your eyes at him since you felt like his comment was an exaggeration.

“I am not lying! It’s really good, Y/N!” Jaemin smiled as he cleaned his plate off with his spoon.

“Yeah yeah. Whatever you said. Just leave it there, I’ll go ahead and wash the dishes.” You said as you eat the last bite of your kimchi jjigae. Jaemin however, held your wrist as you were about to get up and collect the dishes.

“Let me wash the dishes, oki?” Jaemin smiled as he took the plate out of your hands. You were so stunned that just happened. You didn’t even have time to protest what just happened.

“And I’m sleeping on the couch.” Jaemin commented, his focus still on the dishes he was washing.

“But you’re my guest.” You protested next to him.

“I sleep on the couch, that’s final. Or else I’m sleeping in my car.” You just sighed in defeat, you knew arguing with Jaemin was like arguing with a wall.

As the night progressed, Jaemin suddenly grew bored and asked if the two of you could watch a movie to aid in sleeping. You obliged, good thing you’re on your day off tomorrow.

“Just play anything, Jaemin. I’ll drift off before you can say anything.” You said as you handed him over the remote to your TV. The both of you were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, both bundled in their own blankets. Jaemin being Jaemin, played a horror movie on the TV screen. Every jumpscare throughout the movie shocked you. Jaemin took notice of this and he scoots next to you. The two of you are almost in close proximity, knees and shoulders almost touching.

“We could watch another movie.” Jaemin whispered at you, his face still focused on the screen.

“N-no need, I’m already invested.” You can hear his small deep chuckle. Your closeness with each other made you lose all focus on the movies you were watching. You could smell him, you smiled to yourself as you realized that he used your body wash when he was in your bathroom earlier. Before you know it, another jump scare scene made you jump, Jaemin on the other hand already had his arms around your shoulder. This surprised you and you looked up to him. His facial features, illuminated by the small lamp you had in the living room and the television. “Has he always been this handsome before?” you thought to yourself. For so long, you suppress your feelings for him, trying to put it on the back burner and paid no mind. You always wondered why Jaemin put you at ease, how you stopped being awkward around other people when he’s around, how you always became yourself whenever he’s around. Maybe you liked Jaemin more than a childhood friend. Maybe the times you grew up together, you barely noticed how great you had each other until the other left. You tried to date other guys before but no one came close to the ease and comfort you had with Jaemin.

“You’re staring too long. I might melt.” his deep voice snapped you out of your trance. You blushed upon hearing the words escape Jaemin’s lips. How long were you staring up at him?

“I-I, I wasn’t staring.” you shot your head to the TV in front of you, you obviously cannot hide the embarrassment, you just wished that your sofa would eat you alive right then and there.

“I don’t mind, besides, you’re cute.” Jaemin squeezed his grip on your shoulders more. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Did Jaemin just called you ‘cute’?

“You are always cute. I don’t think I’ve told you that before.” Jaemin looked at you now, the movie and rain serving as the background music on whatever is happening between you and Jaemin.

“I think you’re cute. No, wait, you’re pretty. You’re always pretty.” You can feel Jaemin’s face inching closer to yours. You were frozen in your seat at the same time you felt yourself being pulled towards Jaemin. Before you know it, Jaemin’s lips were ghosting over yours, he leaned in slowly and gave you a soft passionate kiss, his hand cupping the small of your back as the two of you continued to share a kiss. The feeling of the kiss felt like you were burning, Jaemin’s every movement felt like fire touching your skin. He was taking his sweet time with you, the kiss was gentle and careful. You held his arms as he continued to deepen the kiss. You can feel his muscle tensing up with every touch you place. In just a few seconds, he held your shoulders as he pulled away, a smile visible on both of your lips as you tried to catch air.

“I hope that was fine.” Jaemin smiled as he pulled you closer to him.

“More than fine.” you smiled at him as you leaned into his shoulder.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to kiss you like that.” Jaemin smiled as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. You found yourself blushing again and this time he saw, “You’re so cute when you blush.” he commented as he continued to kiss your forehead.

“So I guess I need to make an official announcement soon.” He laughed.

“I’ll help you draft.” You smiled at him as you kissed his cheeks.

“I’ve always loved you.” You whispered to his ear as you continued to lean close to him.

“I guess all it took was 3 summers.” Jaemin responded as he sweeps you in for another kiss.

[delicatereader]

after all... (Azriel x FC)

summary: Azriel gives in on his desires

warnings: fluff, angst, dirty thoughts, a kiss, swearing

a/n: took a break and came back with an acotar obsession I guess

➽────────────────────────────❥

She was dancing and singing in the comfort of a hot shower. A moment of peace, release and simple self-entertainment.

Someone knocked on the door, snapping her out of her own mind. "Enter" she commanded.

"Umm- hello?" a familiar voice muttered. Azriel.

"Here!" the heavy footsteps prowled closer to her location.

Azriel couldn't see anything through the smoke covered glass, but a faint figure. Even if she stopped dancing, her body was still swaying. Side to Side, taking in the burning water.

"I- I should probably come back later" he spoke up

"No need" she replied it a cold, neutral voice

Whilst she was waiting for him to continue, his mind was already someplace else. Somewhere he didn't dare to go before, even though it took him every inch of himself to restrain himself. He imagined, how it would feel to be in the shower with her. Their bodies pressed together, him taking up the entire shower so the only vacant place for her was his hips and his-

"Are you gonna talk or just stare?" she interrupted

"Cause if you are, the view is better over here" she teased. She always thought highly of herself, or atleast that's what she acts like. She wasn't wrong to do so, anyone would die to have such beauty and body.

"What?" he asked

"I mean it's nothing you haven't seen before, especially from my first day at Night Court, if you're that weak to be around a naked woman turn around!" she continued

"Your first day at Night Court?" he spoke up, still still as a statue

"That was what? 30 years ago? Mor had put me in the most slutty dress." she let's out a huff, reminiscing on her past

"31" Az cleared his throat

"What?"

"You've been in this court for 31 years since last month" he informed, looking up as if he could see her almost surprised face through the foggy barrier. She didn't reply or do anything, but kept swaying. She didn't make anything of Azriel knowing those facts, though.

"Very well. Again, why are you here?" she reminded Az

"Oh right." he took the tiniest step forward. "Rhys wants you to plan Feyre's birthday."

"I'm sorry, what?!" she shouted

"Feyre's birthday, it's in 3 weeks. Rhys wants you to plan it.", it felt like more of a command, especially since its from Rhysand. She and the High Lord never got along, but they hid their hatred for Feyre and Feyre's wellbeing only.

"I'm not doing that shit! Ask Elain" she denied, running a hand through her wet hair

"Well Elain is off with Lucien and won't return until the day before the Solstice", this time he spoke in a very...disapproving manner. However, it sparked her amusement.

"I see..." she said, wiping a hand on the smoke covered glass. Only to reveal her face and neck that dripped water. "Not a big fan, are we?" she mocked looking at him clearly, with a grin spreading across her face. His shadows couldn't be seen anywhere from her view.

"Lucien is a respectable and noble male" he stated, he wasn't lying. Even though he wished he was. He stood there staring at his shoes, with his hands tucked inside his pockets, clearly overthinking.

"Towel!" she screeched, startling Azriel put of his stance."Oh not you! the house!", she said in a softer tone.

"Hello?! Towel! Ok! Fuck you! You know you should really see someone about those mood changes!..." she kept going for a minute, complaining and swearing at the ceiling. Azriel grabbed the first towel he saw and swung it over the glass, not being able to handle the loud yelling for another second. For the next 30 seconds all he heard was a "thanks" and movement.

At last, she got out the shower semi dry, wrapping a towel around herself gently.

"What are his requirements?" she asked with pure annoyance written all over her face.

"Umm- he just wants you to put together a party that Feyre would like" he fumbled there, he didn't know if he should run like a coward or stay there and endure the conversation with her looking like that. Especially, since she is bending over all over the place in that tiny towel, which wasn't probably enough to cover all of her.

She wasn't doing anything intentionally, but didn't mind the attention.

She strode past him to a pile of clothes, and bend down to grab it. Her towel rode up just enough to make Az look up, away from her. His mind was on a frenzy, a thirsty one at that.

After that show, she didn't stop. She physically pushed past him and headed towards her armoire. "I mean, I get that he's trying to give Feyre a good birthday and all, and yes, it might mean it a bit more if it's me who planned it...but he does know that I'm not sat idle. Right?" she complained as she tried to reach the top row for a box. Before she could go get a stool, something pressed against her body. She turned around, revealing Azriel holding the box towering over her. His breath was uneven as she said " thanks...again". She didn't let him see a moment of weakness or anything that suggested that she was going absolutely crazy, having him press up against her. Against her almost naked body. She took the box from him, still staring into his soul.

"He knows you don't sit idle and you work hard everyday" he whispered in a deep voice. Suddenly, silence fell between them. More like tension. There was a force, trying to pull them together under all that heavy breathing. She pulled back her stare.

"I mean I get that I'm very good look at, especially almost naked, but you need to stop staring at me like that" she spoke up, giving Azriel a sultry look folding her arms.

"Like what?" he asks, with a faint grin knowing, where he stood and his power in this situation

"Like you're-"

Before she could finish her thought, his consumed him. He close the space between them, kissing her. His hands trailed from her hair to her neck. He devoured every sensation that came from a touch.

They pulled back from each other, faces flushed red. His redder and brighter than ever.

"Illyrians aren't such babies after all" she said tilting her with a cocky smirk, before leaning back into him for more.