#its been a hot minute lmao

[the-doodleer]

I somehow missed you were doing requests! How about Captain Whitebones in "flying"?

yarrr i love this guy! fun fact when i was looking up a ref of him, your art popped up and i thought that was neat :3

palette challenge here :3c  

[soulofebony]

Out on the town

[blaiddraws]

Dojoshipping week day one, mochi! i like to think they take breaks and eat out for lunch or something together a lot. just chat and hang out. bonding over food <3

[b4kuch1n]

THEE audiodrama disguised as podcast

[bluechanas]

the silly goose has arrived!!!

[candycatstuffs]

had a bit of a gravity falls spiral SAJFKF, been vry fun and frustrating trying to relearn how to draw these goobers lol

[batshikns]

i unno

[baylardian-1]

just some pmd stuff (i have been yearning)

My hero OC's name is Francis in every incarnation but she has preferred nicknames sometimes. Her designs are intended to be seen as a portrayal of how my overall gameplay felt (i.e. aggressive/attack-heavy or alternatively more prone to using items/healing/defending) in addition to the hero's dialogue. :3

Explorers!Francis (Francis) is predictably my favorite, she's a tad malnourished and hardened compared to the others so she's skinnier and lacks that Pikachu chub™. Rescue Team!Francis (Frannie) is bossy and hotheaded, Super!Francis (Fran) is doting and sympathetic. :)

[becauseplot]

The Calm

He looks up at Roier. Roier looks down at him. Roier smiles. “Hey, gatinho.” Cellbit’s chest does something funny, fluttery. “Hi.” It comes out in a sleepy croak, and it makes Roier chuckle again. Cellbit is too pleased to be embarrassed. “I like the idea,” Cellbit tells him. “Hm?” Roier brushes some of the hair out of Cellbit’s face. His hand comes around to caress his cheek. Cellbit has to shove down the desire to bite it, overwhelming as it is. Roier holds him like he’s something worth cherishing, and Cellbit doesn’t know, never knows what to do with that. “The hanging plants,” Cellbit says instead of the million-billion I-love-yous piling on his tongue. “Above the armor. I like it. I think you’re right about the lighting.”

Or, on the day before Purgatory, Cellbit spends a quiet morning in bed with Roier.

Aka, SPIDERBIT FLUFF! WITH A SIDE OF LOOMING ANGST! LOTS OF CUDDLING AND BEING DISGUSTINGLY CUTE AND DOMESTIC!

✨reblogs✨ are always appreciated! ty!

[madamutzsar]

taking a small break from my other projects, for funsies I am once again cloning a Jak and Daxter mini game, this time the Onin mini game, call that the Clonin mini game. Coding it has gone swell, playing it is KICKING MY ASS. The prototype was brutal, I lowered the score goals and added x5 miss forgiveness on level up which has helped me survive a bit… does it seem a faithful recreation? whaddoya think it needs?

I'll make it a free browser game on itch.io in due time; my ♡ patrons and stars ♡ can download and play it RIGHT NOW !

[hitachiincest]

Hikakao or Kaohika or both?

i think both are good!

like, kaoru & taking the lead in private despite their public front of hikaru being "the one in charge" in their act to provide a sense of Gap & bc he's a little more 'mature' than hikaru? hell yeaa thts real Nice. but hikaru just naturally being/wanting to be the lead bc he's Like That & likes to see kaoru happy & protect kaoru & kaoru's fine w that & likes it? Also nice! they've just got that Synergy baby they can Do It All. they're equal when it comes to mischief & chaos & bein Little Guys Mweehee so why not in a relationship as well? switch things up; keep it Fresh, & all tht!

however i think i might lean towards kaohika a bit tho...? smth abt him being a little more mature/level-headed & hikaru being a bit more rash & immature.. outwardly emotional.. whereas kaoru is more used to concealing his feelings & helping hikaru out.. im thinking specifically very hard abt eps 15-16 especially where this is displayed

like hikaru just being so full of Emotion and he shows it on his sleeve but then u've got the more composed kaoru here to hold him close...

there's also the case of episode 21 where kaoru was completely fine & hanging out w the class rep guy whereas hikaru was like "WHERE'S KAORU?! WHERE'S KAORU?! KAORU??!!" as soon as he realized they were officially separated & how desperate he looked upon finding kaoru, although u could see that as a point for both hikakao AND/OR kaohika, as his determination could be seen as more gallant & wanting to protect kaoru rather than just an absolute need for them to be together, but his lack of composure could lend to the latter & we could end up w a situation like the pension ep again where it's like kaoru consoling him. but the fact he's worried doesnt show weakness, rather a need & desire for kaoru to be safe & a hatred of not being able to protect him, so really... again, that Both Ways thing. they work so well w each other bc Either could rly be the 'leading' one so to speak.

kaorus absolute cute expression in that same ep in response to be found feels like it lends itself to hikakao a bit hehe. i feel like kaoru prob enjoys being cared abt/for tho & he'd prob also like letting hikaru do his own thing. the vibes of hikaru, his knight/prince & him, the princess (since he already has his pumpkin carriage analogy, so why not take it up a notch lol)

i rly like this line at the end of ep 21 tho for kaohika lol

but gahh theyre just both so good.. kaohika better sometimes, hikakao better sometimes... the Versatility...

[banesberry-anomoly]

Golden Scars

[pettyprocrastination]

I turn 23 in 30 minutes

(discussion of mental health, depression, and body image/body weight).

I'm queuing this post ahead of time in hopes that by midnight I will be asleep like a responsible adult because I do in fact have work in the morning (fixing my sleep schedule is a slow and steady race I promise you all) but this is just a sort of. reflection? on my year and my thoughts on reaching another big age.

nobody needs to look at this- I'm just using this as a journal because I'm pretty sure mine is still in the trunk of my car from when I went on vacation.

anywhoo. I turn 23 in 30 minutes. And its. weird?

But still nice.

I started this year off in a horrendous spot.

I was 112 lbs, still working my shit retail job where i'd go and cry in the bathroom just about every single shift for the next two months. I didn't want to eat, sleep, shower, or interact with anybody. I hadn't felt like this since my stepfather died and even then it wasn't as severe. I hated myself and blamed myself for everything wrong in my life, I felt like a ghost in my own body.

But slowly, things began to improve.

I have a new job now, a 9 to 5 that I enjoy yet I'm unfortunately going to have to return to the job hunt soon so I can find one that gives me benefits as I can't stay on my family's health insurance forever (the joys of adulthood) but It still feels good to have that dedicate schedule where I get to work with my hands and get paid for it every Monday through Friday.

I'm spending more time with my friends. Last week I spent a week at the beach with a dear friend of mine and a collection of her own friends, none of which I had met before. I was absolutely petrified initially but had the time of my life with them all, ending the wonderful experience with going to my first ever concert and crying from the joy of it all. (it was hozier.)

I'm pushing myself to do more and go out- I'm in a coaching position for my roller derby league, I recently attended a practice scrimmage with players who have been in this sport for 8+ years and while I fully believed I didn't belong in this space, I was able to hold my own and had so much fun getting to play with all of them. I don't know if i'll be able to try out for the state league because of scheduling- but maybe some day further down the line.

I took a day trip out of state to go to an all women's gym with friends at my university before I graduated. One thing to know about me is that I go to the gym alone about 99.9% of the time. I'm not good at social situations, especially ones in new areas so the notion initially was one I was ready to dismiss- but how often do you get chances like that?

I've signed up for my first ever powerlifting meet. I'm still very new to the gym with less than a year of weight lifting under my belt, but i've told myself this is the year to push myself and become somebody I'm proud of nobody how hard it is going to be. I've always loved powerlifting and want to get into the sport so bad but I can't afford a coach nor do I want to sign up for a full competition without knowing the ins and outs of the first event. I found a local deadlifting competition for a pride foundation next month and signed up for it with the goal of increasing my deadlift by at least 10 lbs by then. I'm simply competition against myself and trying to see how much I can progress during that time, which is something I really love about the sport. I'm still a fucking lightweight loser when it comes to heavy lifting- but at least this way I'll be able to see what a meet is like and learn what to expect.

I started going to therapy beginning of February/late January. It's been a saving grace honestly. Having an unbiased professional I can sit and talk and cry to has been quite the saving outlet. I rent a private study room at the library once every week for our meetings and it's become a little ritual of my own that i'm quite fond of now. (take this as your reminder that your local public library has so many amazing resources that even if you don't read often you can still use!!) though I've only been going for a few months, it's helped me drastically in how I view myself and letting others in during moments of weakness.

I'm allowing myself to rely on my friends. It isn't easy. And honestly sometimes I fucking hate it and feel pathetic for it- but my friends have been there for me so goddamn much within the past few months I honestly don't know where I'd be without them. There are days where I'd rather curl up In my bed and not speak to a single soul about how I feel because there's nothing I fear more than being a burden to those I love- but I have to remind myself that they want to be there for me the same way I want to be there for them. If they need me to pull back they'll simply communicate that desire and I will do so, but I can't keep assuming the worst when I need to rely on somebody for love and support. It's hard to not feel like a burden in those moments, that I'm exhausting those I love- but I also know I would do the same for them any day of the week. "Shared joy is double the joy, shared sorrow is half the sorrow".

I'm back at 124 lbs. I know it may not seem like much to others but gaining back that 12 lbs over four months has been such an uphill battle not only due to my own genetics+metabolism that makes gaining weight a fucking pain in the ass, but also keeping myself accountable when my mental health is at an all time low to still eat full meals and take care of my body. The moment I stepped on the scale and saw those numbers I cried real tears. I still want to gain more weight, but seeing that improvement helped me realize I am in fact improving and not just staying in this permanent transition period of stagnation for the rest of my life as I've feared.

I'm kinder to myself. At least, I'm trying to do so. I've found that the reality of life is that it's infinitely easier to blame yourself for everything and rot in self loathing rather than take a step back to go "actually- that's not true" and find the strength to go forward while also being aware of what you can do to better yourself as a person, not just for others, but for your own sake at well.

That being said- not every day is meant for self-analysis and introspection. Some days it's okay to just cry and eat some fucking candy bars on the couch my friends.

I'm slowly finding the joy and energy to write again. It's been a hassle to do so- working a 9 to 5 while also going to the gym and then doing chores leaves very little time and energy for other passions- but I've found it's annoying but meaningful work to dedicate time for the little things that make you happy. I've started by promising myself to limit my screentime by not using my phone as much during the day- my lunch breaks at work are spent typing away on a little e-ink word processor I treated myself to instead of doom scrolling on my phone. I've written three short little stories on it, some of them fanfiction others are not- while also beginning a horror project that i've thought about for a year now and want to see where it will go in the end. It's nothing as grand at the 10k beautifully written fics you all create- but I'm finding my passion again and it feels quite nice. I'd like to create something submission worthy this summer, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I'd like to set myself the goal of being able to afford an apartment next year. My family plans on moving cities within a year so it will give me time to save up more money and maybe even get back to making little things on the side to help earn some extra pocket cash for that dream while also paying off my student loans.

I'm not anywhere near the woman I thought i'd at 23 when I was 18 years old. I still live at home, I'm not using my major for my career, nor am I doing anything particularly astounding in my life. But I think that it's okay- and I'm proud of the progress I have made to get myself to this position.

Tomorrow I will spend my birthday at work. Then I will go for a walk (or perhaps a skate?) listen to some music, treat myself to a little sweet drink in my budget and then go see the challengers movies. Maybe with my friends, maybe by myself. I'm not sure yet. I will likely cry at some point during the day, I always do on my birthday.

But I know that I am growing. Even if Its hard to see.

[flutteringfable]

long time no venti! ive missed him more than i thought i fear i'm taking psychic damage thinking about him too hard. ive heard rumors about his second story quest coming in 5.5 and god i hope theyre true. fuck i miss him ingame so muuuch :(((

[thecomet-and-themeteor]

Planning ahead in my fic series and trying to figure out where exactly I'm going with Langelique instead of sleeping, right, and my brain keeps coming back to the phrase "I worship you." Which is fine! That's a perfectly healthy thing to say in a relationship assuming that's it's clear hyperbole and that kind of exaggeration is exactly the kind of thing Lance would use to describe his love for Angelique. He worships her and that should be a perfectly okay thing to use in a fanfic focusing on them.

The Heathers fan in me, however-

[katabay]

When you say you have thoughts about the 2023 movie, are you talking about the one with Eva Green and François Civil? If so, I would loooove to hear those thoughts :0

that's the one! I fucking loved it. on a technical/artistic note, it's been a hot minute since I've seen a movie understand how to use a wide shot properly, and the way it uses the camera feels so genuinely enthusiastic about the story being told that every minute is a visual delight (my main critique is that I mostly wish that it was more colorful, but eh)

on a personal note, it gave me EVERYTHING. I'm going to be thinking about aramis kissing the crucifix during the torture scene for YEARS