#its been 9 years and i will do it again if people don't behave

[adhdvane]

What do you identify as now in terms of gender and sexuality?

my pronouns are they/them and i think people are hot :)

[bcitisthelight]

hey remember when we were discussing how weird the whole cliegg thing is in AOTC. and you had thoughts, feelings and emotions. tell me about those XOXO

(Big TW for this post - I discuss human trafficking, sex trafficking, rape, child abuse, slavery, and PTSD in this post. It's about the realities of slavery and Tatooine and how it involves the Skywalkers.) Something that I almost never see in any discussion on the Lars family is how sharply the fanon headcanons and characterizations of diverge from the ones we get in the moves. Like, particularly Cliegg and the prequel trilogy. Like - I feel like there's this automatic assumption that the Lars loved Shmi and that they cared for Luke out of dedication to her and her family, and it's this huge found family vibe but like can I be real. Can I be super real right now. It’s something that I find kind of baffling, because when I watched Attack of the Clones, and on every rewatch since (and there have been many), it always seems kind of obvious to me that Cliegg bought Shmi as a slave, presumably as a house slave, if not outright as a part of sex trafficking. And I don't mean in one of those "He bought her to free her, he's a good guy, etc etc". I mean, he bought her as a slave with the original intention of keeping her as a slave. And what's really interesting, is you can get pretty much all the clues about that from the exchanges between Anakin has with Watto, his and Shmi's former master.

Again, I want to stress that, because I think it's crucial that we see this for what it is - not an exchange between a former employee and his boss, not an exchange between a kid and a member of his former community. His former slavemaster. The man who won him and his mother in a gambling game like so many fancy necklaces. The source and object of Anakin's childhood enslavement. Watto would have beaten them. He made Anakin, a child of 9 - and I read somewhere once that Anakin started in the races at 6 - ride in a pod race that no human has ever won before, with the full expectation that he would die. This is a being whose entire life has revolved around the certainty that society is not only capable of functioning, but functions best, when sentient beings can be bought and sold like property. And, to be real with you, because this is a thing that happens to people who suffer enslavement, he very likely loaned them out temporarily for sex trafficking purposes for a quick buck - a practice that is noted historically in virtually every society that operated on a system involving slaves.

It's important to recap that, because I do think it's impossible to understand how deeply horrifying the conversation they have is without that context. Like, let's look at how he tells Anakin about Shmi -

This scene is....so telling to me. From the outset, Watto said he sold her as a slave. Like, it was a slave exchange. Watto heard about her freedom later - clearly, Cliegg bought her, and behaved in a way - intentional or not - that Watto believed he was buying her as a slave to own as a slave. That part is not subtext, that's just actual text.

"But Mikhayla" some will say "he freed her the second he bought her - he bought her in order to free her." Except....there is genuinely nothing in the movies, and off the top of my head, the wider narrative, that ever indicates that that's true. In fact it makes no sense in that case, for Watto to have not known that Cliegg was buying her in order to free her. Why would he have to hide that? Watto presumably doesnt care what happens to her, because he's selling her. In the larger materials, its said that his shop fell on hard times, and in the movies, we can see the proof. The script says he's sitting outside his shop, but at that point it resembles more of a kind of beaten down stand. He's still selling junk, but less and of poorer quality - presumably, he's spent all his money on gambling debts. And the thing is, slaves are expensive. He sold her years prior, and I bet he fed himself on that money for a very long time - he was a very motivated seller, as barbaric as that language is to use about a transaction involving a human person. He's not going to be fussy over why the person buying her wants to buy her. There's also the fact that this is a society that vastly runs on slavery, and large plantation owners would often "rent" out slaves to smaller but still profitable farms. And Cliegg is a moisture farmer with presumably a large tract of land for water vaporizers. If anything, I can see Watto having rented Shmi to her, Cliegg taking a liking to her, and then approaching Watto to buy her. I mean, if he's profitable enough to just buy a slave, then he clearly had at least some money. "He spent his whole savings!" Show me that in the text. "He loved her from the start!" Show me that in the text. "But Mikhayla," yet others will say, "he did free her! And then married her! He clearly meant from the start to free her, and only bought her to get her away from Watto. He could have never seen her as property. Who would marry their slave?" Except, in the real world, this is...another thing we see across multiple historical records, masters buying women as slaves and then later freeing them in order to legally marry them. PARTICULARLY in societies that operate so heavily on an entire caste system involving slaves - we can look to the Roman Empire, for example. Countless Roman officials, merchants, and military officials bought women, fell in love with them, and freed them in order to marry them. "But maybe she said yes!" (I know these are not your objections, but as you know, I'm an attorney, which means I constantly have to find an argument to fight against). So, to this imaginary detractor I say: I feel like it should be rather obvious, but I'll say it just in case - it is impossible for a slave to consent to any action they perform at the request of a slave master. It cannot happen. A woman who is enslaved cannot consent to marrying the man who bought her, and who has very likely been raping her up until this point, and wants to now marry her - usually, to make any children he had by her legally his children, and therefore citizens, rather than slaves themselves.

So really, whether or not Cliegg had a change of heart doesn't actually change my mind about his actions towards Shmi. I don't care if Cliegg DID love her - in fact, I'm sure he DID love her. People can and have convinced themselves of all kinds of moral superiority, people can claim to love someone while owning them as property! Shmi could never consent to marrying a man who held her as a slave. Even if he freed her, and she willing chose to stay there for a few years, and then he asked her to marry him. In my head, you can't overcome that power imbalance. Cliegg will never not be a man who once believed Shmi was a thing to be owned. He will never be a man who didn't see her as property. Like, at some point, it actually becomes kind of more and more unlikely that this is a guy who took up this transaction for non-malicious purposes. Because we simply do not see it in the movie. What I see in the movie is a slave owner saying he fell on hard times and sold his slave to a farmer who probably needed help on his land or in his house - he has no wife, so the latter is probably more likely. I see him saying that at the time of the transaction, he had no idea that Cliegg intended to free her. And for all that Cliegg calls Shmi his darling, his love, his wife - not once do we ever hear of any evidence that Shmi saw this as a love match. In fact, the only thing we find out about her daily life with the Lars family is that in the mornings, she wakes up early and goes to pick mushrooms. You know. A task for the house. An unpleasant task, done before everyone else is awake, that she does absolutely alone. I'm just saying. These implications are not good ones. I will say though, for all this, do you know what really sells me on the idea that the relationship between Shmi and Cliegg is is not a consensual one, is Anakin's reaction to it. This is a boy whose entire hopes and dreams have revolved around his mother's freedom. You have more excellent writing than me on this, but the moral injury Anakin suffers leaving his mother behind is. Intense. All he wants is to one day free her. In a way, a part of him is always that tiny boy who couldn't bear the idea of leaving behind his mom, who swore, the last time he saw her, that he would free her. And at this moment, all of his dreams have seemingly come true! His mother is free. According to Watto, she's found love, and married. For all he knows, she's had other children. Maybe that could involve SOME complicated emotions, but mostly you would expect that he would feel, at the very least, relieved. Happy. Interested, curious. Instead, this is his reaction:

He's grim, business like. He is not happy. He is not relieved. He doesn't even seem to acknowledge that she's still alive - the way he reacts is not a man who thinks his mother is out of danger. To Anakin, who grew up enslaved until 9 and knows how this society works, it seems almost immediately apparent that the Lars are just a different kind of danger. There's also this rather interesting detail:

This is a boy who bleeds, every second of every day, longing for a family. He basically begs at obi-wan's feet day and night, to be acknowledged as a son. His reaction to his wife's pregnancy is radiant joy - his reaction to know she could die, profound existential horror. I mean good god, he basically turns Palpatine aka Satan Himself into a father figure, because he's that desperate for one. And here, this man is claiming him as his family. He's talked about being excited to see him. He talks about planning with Shmi to meet him. He calls him "son". And Anakin doesn't give him another moment of his time, the second those words are out of his mouth. It's silence. For a boy who is so starved for intimacy he genuinely falls in love with the very first girl who was ever nice to him, to react to a claim of relationship this way. It's bizarrely out of character for him. Unless it isn't. UNLESS he's disgusted by that claim, instead of relieved by it. If he thinks his mother has been bought and then forced into marriage, of course he hates Cliegg. I remember when we were watching the movie together, and remember I said to you "You can just tell Anakin is thinking, 'Call me son one more fucking time'" And can I be real, I have so much more to say about this. As you know, I actually have essays of opinions and feelings about Shmi Skywalker and her horrible life, and how Anakin was the one bright point she had in that horrible life. I have feelings about how she gave away her only happiness, because she knew he did not deserve the life of a slave. I had ideas about how you could turn this into a way to actually fix AOTC and make it better, a way you could use it as an excuse to get rid of the Tusken arc entirely without losing the tragedy of his mother's death. But this post is already so fucking long and I'm sure you're tired of me talking xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[olderthannetfic]

I have, for the first time, left a fandom because of the fan base. There have been medias that I've steered clear of because of the reputation of the fandom, but this is the first time the fandom has made me leave well after being engaged in it. Maybe I just have thin skin that this is bothering me so much, but I need to tell and commiserate with someone.

I've watched 9-1-1 since it first came out and was an avid Buddie shipper for years but ever since this Buck and Tommy relationship has started fans have been at eachothers throats! Its ridiculous! I feel like I'm watching Zutara and Kataang ship wars all over again! This is reminding me of 2014 Destiel vs Wincest fights, its so stupid!

The show made Buck canonically bisexual: cool, love that, love to see it. They do it by having him start a relationship with Tommy, a secondary character. Cool! I like this! I am a Buddie shipper at heart but I understand these things take time and I hope they build towards that in the future and Buck and Tommy's relationship is a stepping stone to Buddie end game.

These fans. Oh my god. It feels like no one can wait a week let alone a few years for characters and relationships to develop. They're all caught in these echo chambers, over analyzing every single frame of the episode and pointing out how everything affirms their bias and ship. Its exhausting!

People calling Tommy creepy, predatory, and saying he doesn't like or care about Buck because he's older and slightly catty.

Other people saying Buck and Tommy are end game and will get married and Eddie will be Buck's best man.

Like, neither of these things are happening! If you actually watch the show and not listen to other fans on the internet you can very clearly see that Buck and Tommy have an amicable relationship. I don't know where its going in the future, but I don't think Tommy making a joke about Daddy Kink (which Buck reciprocated and flirted about) is him "ignoring Buck's trauma" 🙄

I am officially leaving the fandom. I will watch the show and disengage with all further discourse or fandom related posts because no one knows how to behave. Jesus christ.

Sorry for the rant I just have to go scream into the void

--

[compassionatereminders]

Another ask to recently answered made me think of a situation I went through.

Two years ago I was 26 and I ended up finding the first romantic partner I'd ever had. I wasn't looking. I had previously been in a long distance queerplatonic relationship with someone else for 9 years - it's important to mention, we weren't romantic, but we DID consider ourselves a couple ; so I knew what it was like to be WITH someone, but not ROMANTIC with someone.

Then I met my darling.

(QP partner & I had decided to remain friends a year prior, & they knew all about my lover when I met him).

I digress.

I had NO experience with any acts of sexual nature, & always considered myself asexual (still proud to do so !!!!! Just a sex-neutral ace who doesnt mind if it does or doesn't happen. I digress again,,,)

So basically, I meet this guy well into my twenties. A virgin, but by goodness I considered myself a developed adult - I knew how to behave around people I wanted to be around.

So, I had told this other "friend" of mine that I got a boyfriend. Everything was sunshine and rainbows. I'd never been so loved in the way I wanted to be loved before. Her immediate response? 'You should break up with him. You haven't been in a real relationship with someone physically before. I don't know that you know what you're doing, and I don't want him to take advantage of you.'

All that to say, I don't talk to her anymore.

(I'm still together strong with my sweetheart. Its still all sunshine & rainbows. ❤)

Wow. I'm glad you didn't accept that statement, because it's just not okay to try to decide on another adults behalf whether they should engage in a certain relationship. Whether or not you're a virgin or really experienced, every new relationship will require that you do something differently and adjust your approach to sex and intimacy somewhat. And as long as there's a foundation of communication and respect, being a virgin doesn't have to be a problem, just like having a lot of experience doesn't guarantee that there won't be any issues

[foster-the-world]

Bumpire no more

For months baby boy been saying he wants to be a bumpire (aka: vampire) for Halloween. Today when I said Bumpire (because why would I ever correct him) he said "NO VAMPIRE." Aw, my babies getting big. I'm going to miss his sweet little kid voice so much.

We met with a development ped today. The agency made the appt so it was a not particularly well regarded hospital by our house. Mostly low income patients. Long line when we arrived. Three out of three of the patients in front of me had the kids interpreting for the parents. The 11 year old came into get her vaccines but they said because she hadn't visit their office in 2+ years she needed a physical first. They didn't have an appt until Oct 3rd. The receptionist tried to tell the Dad to find an appt somewhere else but I don't think he was understanding. He took the Oct 3rd appt. I am now very worried this child is not going to go to school until Oct 3rd :( The child wrote down the date and time of the appt in their own calendar app. So many kids have so much responsibility. So difficult for everyone.

Our own appointment left me depressed. It was his nap time so he was not behaving. Not that he would have anyway. Places where you are supposed to sit quietly are not his strong suit. I told the Dr about his hyperactivity. She was new and/or a resident??? After five minutes she went to tell the more senior Dr everything I told her. This Dr came in and was asking all of the autism screener questions. She didn't seem to believe my answers. I don't mind if he has autism -in fact it opens up a ton of services that a SPD diagnosis on its own won't get him. And perhaps I'm wrong and he does but is not typically persenting. Certainly there is a ton I don't know about autism. But his behavior does not match the screener questions. He tried to turn off the lights a few times. She tried to turn that into "repetitive behavior". The only repetitive thing he does is ignore whatever you tell him not to do. She verified ADHD was likely. She said he's "self-directed' which I believe means doesn't listen to anyone. True. She said she wants him in speech after he didn't respond much to two or three quick questions. Again, in this instance I believe his problem is not feeling the need to respond/perform/listen. He understands everything. There were three new adults in a tiny room (there was another student shadowing). He speaks in long sentences all of the time. They were asking about three word sentences - he's been doing that for literally years. He speaks in 8/9/10 words sentences regularly through out the day at home. The other Dr even piped in to say she heard him talking in longer sentences to me. But if they will send a speech person to the school I don't mind. He does stutter on occasion and I don't know about his articulation. I understand him just fine but that doesn't mean everyone can. She mentioned something about maybe needing a smaller special ed school. I hate when people brush off my concerns about him AND I hate when people validate them. Can't win either way with me. I know I'm extra sensitive about him. Also, skeptical how she would know after three or four minutes. On the other hand I was there because I'm super concerned with how he's going to do in a 3K program. He just doesn't listen or sit still the way other kids his age do. I guess will find out next week.

A smaller special ed school would be fine if that's what he needs. I'll have a little mourning time about what we planned for him. We love the girls school and wanted all of our kids in the same place with the same lovely community. Anyway, not much point thinking about it. Will see what comes. He does fine at daycare. If 3K doesn't work for him he can go back there until we figure out a perfect spot for him.

[sunriseverse]

twenty questions for fic writers!

tagged by @chirpybirdy (thank you!!!)

tagging: @lucientelrunya @butchybats @cedarbranch @lunarriviera @killerandhealerqueen and anyone else who wants to participate! questions below the cut.

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

434 in total! about half of those are from when i was a pacrim writer, though.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

1,407,660 as of today! i am, unfortunately for all of you, possessed of hands and the ability to string words together, and i'm making that everyone else's problem. i've written 136,786 of that this year, and i'm hoping i can hit 200k this year (last year i had an all-time high of over 300k+, which i'm very smug about; i don't think i can hit that again this year, though, because i'm busy as all hell). my total wordcount to works ratio has changed a lot in the years i've been on ao3—2019-2021, i wrote a lot of fics, but each of them was fairly short; now i write probably ~20-50 fics per year but each one is a minimum 2k, usually 5k+.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

at the moment: dmbj (sha hai focus), zmyx/swwht (mostly a show setting with novel elements), and tgcf.

4. top five fics by kudos

the kudos count for overall pisses me off so i'm giving my 2024 kudos data. we have not long to love: 327 kudos, m, 13k, nanqiu nie huaisang and the no good, very bad day: 241 kudos, t, 3k, gen god knows i can never get rid of habits: 227 kudos, e, 12k, nanqiu my dear, let me buy a red painted boat (and carry you away): 82 kudos, t, 5k, hualian hunger, bright: 81 kudos, m, 8k, nanqiu

5. do you respond to comments?

i try and respond to every comment i get! as an author, i want my readers to know just how much i value their comments, because getting comments really does make my day. usually i'll write some variation of "thanks for commenting, i'm glad you liked the fic!" and then maybe insert a reply to a specific thing they said in the middle, if applicable.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

recently? probably heartsmudged (dmbj ficlet, pingpangxie, pangzi pov)(also on tumblr here). technically there's nothing overtly angsty happening, but it's set during one of the most depressing times in canon for poor pangzi, and he's going through it.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

not sure what i'd call the "happiest" fic ending? most of my fics have happy endings, so it would be hard for me to choose one. i guess a single slip brings sorrow has the most dramatic shift from angst to joy at the end.

8. do you get hate on fics?

not on ao3 because people know how to behave (mostly) but i have gotten hate on ffnet, because ffnet is a cesspit of the worst types of commenters. i've had comment moderation enabled for years because i don't have any interest in allowing that shit to stay up.

9. do you write smut?

i mean, do i write smut for smut's sake on purpose? no. however apparently some of the characters i'm writing really, really want to have sex, and sex makes sense narratively, and so i've lately wound up writing smut. mostly minimally descriptive, though, because i'm more focused on the emotions.

10. craziest crossover?

probably my iasip/tma crossover, statement begins. (i have other crossovers that never got published, but i'm not counting them for the purposes of this post.)

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge. i do have a note up on my profile on ao3 and ffnet letting people know that if my work is found anywhere but on those two accounts or my tumblr then i didn't consent to its posting, though. i hope that if this ever happens someone would let me know.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had someone ask before, but as of five years on, it's not happened yet.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have! not sure i would do it again, because it requires a lot of coordination, and i generally don't have the patience to wait on other people; my pace of writing is both unpredictable, hectic, and frenetic.

14. all time favorite ship?

an agony...........how can i choose.............ozma/dorothy.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

technically not a fic per se but i started writing out a set of zhang sect precepts for sunrise based on the yan family precepts but i didn't get very far into it because trying to emulate the tone of the yan family precepts made me discover a deepseated hatred. this is what it's looked like for a couple months now and it's unlikely to ever be completed because the yan family precepts are stupidly long and i don't know if i could keep that up.

16. what are your writing strengths?

description! i've been told my writing style is very descriptive, and i can see that. i love writing things in detail and using sensory descriptions to make the scene feel more intimate. it's probably not to everyone's tastes but it's my writing and i do what i want.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

updating regularly. if i have a longfic the update rate is between me and universe and i'm not invited to the party. also action-heavy fics. there's a reason my plots tend to focus on emotions rather than action.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

if it's a language i don't know, probably just "[x] said in a language [y] didn't understand" or "[x] said in french" or something. that said because most of what i write is for cdramas/cnovels these days, and since i write everything from the perspective of "this is an english translation of a chinese original" i usually don't wind up writing anything that's not in english beyond a word or two here or there. if i were writing a fic for an english language novel/show and someone were speaking chinese or turkish (or maybe german) i would probably also just write it as "[x] said in [language]" because i find that foreign language text usually breaks my immersion.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

on ao3, warriors. in real life on paper, probably also warriors.

20. favorite fic you've written?

how am i meant to choose...........i love all my fics.....................anything from sunrise 'verse i guess.

[unrealization]

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

Well, this account was me desperately grasping for the feeling doing RP used to give me. It started with a desire to write certain characters from Dead By Daylight, but I figured I may as well add every character I've written in the past as well so I could finally have the space to keep them all at least somewhat alive. I could go into more specifics for specific muses, but we'd be here all day.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

To be honest? No. Unless I get stuck writing the same type of plot over and over again I'm pretty much happy to do anything. I'm sure everyone gets the ick from something every now and then, but it tends to be something I stumble into. There are a few ships that I simply won't write if that will suffice as an answer.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀ��� ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

Angst, I guess. I like putting characters in dark places so they can really show you who they are. I actually struggle with characters who are too well-adjusted and happy. My home is in the cracks in their psyche.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

Oh of course. Every single character I've ever thought seriously about has a few. I don't think anyone doesn't, despite some people saying so. There are simply so many gaps in your average story to be filled that we feel compelled to fill them. Canon tells me how a character behaves in their element, and I NEED headcanons to take them out of that element.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

Music, for sure. I have a very large writing playlist that I've compiled over the years filled with music that inspires me without being too distracting. Sometimes I will actually pick music to fit the mood of what I'm writing to keep myself focused. It is basically the only antidote for losing myself in a thought black hole at times.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

It depends. Generally I like to give myself a little outline if I can. Plan out certain beats that I need to hit in a reply. Other times the idea just hits like a wave and I just let it carry me out.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Oh yeah, of course. Its funny because in the context of RP I've actually found myself enjoying really random ships I would have never considered otherwise but I had a great partner and we made it work somehow.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Irons! Yeah I'm not sure I even remember where it came from or when I started using it, but it is unique enough, and I'm attached to it. Several IRL friends even call me Irons. It is literally nothing like my real name, either.

ᴀɢᴇ?

30. Been writing since I was 9 if you want an idea of how much time its been for me.

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

August 15th!

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

I tend to be drawn to reds. Go figure, right?

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

Impossible to pick a favorite.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

I think it was When Evil Lurks. Very interesting movie, but don't watch it if you're not down to see some fucked up shit.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Invincible.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

No More What Ifs

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

I'm very into sushi. Please try to find a good sushi place near you, I promise you won't regret it.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Autumn. Big Haloween fan, and it means Summer is over.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

Honestly? No. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I barely talk to anybody here. Its not that I don't want to, I'm just never sure what the best way to engage is. I guess I'm inclined to say topaz (@ruiination/@ochazos) But that barely counts since we know each other outside of the site. Still I wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for them always encouraging me so I'm comfortable naming them as such.

tagged: Stolen from @yukcri

Tagging: Anyone who wants to!

[sci-fiworlds]

Battlestar Galactica - Sci-Fi and the Terror Wars

Very sadly Stuart Miller's Alien Worlds magazine "will not be published again." Although short lived, I really enjoyed my time working with Stuart and am very proud to say I wrote for AW. In a field largely trapped in the 1990s (if not the 1950s), it was fresh, young and innovative, not afraid to seek new answers to old questions or even ask new ones. Perhaps the best evidence of this is the fact that Stuart was prepared to take a gamble and give new writers like me the chance to show what they can do. For those who don't know, I wrote a sci-fi/TV related column called Sci-Fi Worlds, my first piece was on Doctor Who and is available in issue 4 of Alien Worlds. Anyway, before I got the sad news about the magazine I had already written a second piece on Battlestar Galactica so I thought it might be a good idea to publish it here at BoA instead. Hopefully you'll find it thought provoking, even if you disagree with some of my views.

Unlike the new series of Doctor Who, the resurrected Battlestar Galactica is not a continuation of the classic story but rather a total re-imagining of it. Like its counterpart, the new series begins with 12 colonies of humanity getting savagely attacked and ruthlessly wiped out by the Cylons. A relentless and calculating race of war machines that appear hell-bent on the complete annihilation of all mankind. The Cylons' holocaust leaves only a handful of survivors. A ragtag fugitive fleet, 41, 402 people desperately trying to escape their cybernetic hunters and clinging to the hope of finding the legendary 13th colony called Earth.

But other than this shared back story, the two series have surprisingly very little in common. This is a good thing, because the original descended into little more than a childish action adventure, especially when compared to the more serious, adult drama and post 9/11 allegory which is the new series.

Perhaps the most interesting and, by far, the most disturbing parallel with 9/11, however, is how the survivors behave in the wake of the tragedy. Of course, just as in the wake of 9/11 in the real world, we witness incredible courage, as well as a stubborn determination to continue in the face of terrible adversity. But, we also sadly see how fear, fueled with a legitimate need for revenge, can bring out the worst in people, changing victims into criminals, the terrorized into terrorists, and moving society closer to the evil it is meant to be opposed.

Interestingly, the post-9/11 parallels are completely turned on their head in the third season. In the miniseries, as well as season one and two, the Cylons are clearly meant to represent Al Quada and fundamentalist Islam, whereas the humans clearly parallel America. However, in the shadow of the Anglo-American invasion and occupation of Iraq, these roles seem to have been somewhat reversed during season three. The bad guy Cylons become the invading westerners and the humans take the place of the Iraqi insurgency.

Much of season three takes place on what the colonials name "New Caprica": a cold, remote and hostile world that most humans decide to settle on after abandoning their vain search for Earth. However, they are eventually found and, strongly echoing real world events in Iraq, invaded and occupied by the Cylons one year later.

Moreover, strongly paralleling the Iraqi Police Service created in the immediate aftermath of the 2003 invasion, the Cylons establish the New Caprica Police: a group of human volunteers who work for the Cylon authority to establish law and order within the settlement. The NCP are considered nothing more than Cylon collaborators and traitors by the resistance who, again like their counterparts in Iraq, even go to the extremes of using suicide bombers in their campaign against the Cylons.

Another interesting parallel with Iraq, of course, is the role religion plays in the conflict on New Caprica. The Cylons worship what they call the "one true God," whereas the colonials have many different gods. This is perhaps a loud echo of the religious differences between a predominantly Christian America and Muslim Iraq.

It should be stressed that in earlier seasons the monotheist Cylons were obviously meant to conjure up images of Osama bin Laden and radical Islam. However, during their brutal occupation they more immediately brought to mind another band of dangerous religious fundamentalists... George Bush and the Christian Evangelical right that supported his mad crusade in the Middle East. Like the Cylons (or even bin Laden) they used God to justify their immoral war.

Similarly, many people sadly supported the 2003 invasion because they were beguiled into believing our troops were fighting to free Iraq from an evil dictator before he could develop weapons of mass destruction and threaten, paradoxically, international peace. Disastrously though much like the Cylons, far from peace all we've done is throw Iraq dangerously close to civil war and terrorized the Iraqi people.

Five years on from its relaunch, the writers of the re-imagined Galactica have to be congratulated. It would have been easy to write a more simplistic series with, like the original, everything presented in distinct black and white terms of good vs evil and no shades of grey. Instead, they created a highly compelling post 9/11 allegory, a mirror for our troubled times that shows the Terror Wars, warts and all. Hopefully, the rest of the series and the planed spin-off Caprica will be equally brave and thought provoking.

READ RICHARD THOMAS'S SCI-FI WORLDS COLUMN FOR BINNALL OF AMERICA

[emptyofdust]

Tag Game - First 10 Lines

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and  tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and  share anyway.

hi @picnokinesis and thanks for the tag! let's pretend it hasn't been an entire month since you tagged me, and that i didn't spend a whole 15 minutes trying to remember my password to this account before giving up and resetting it. sounds good? sounds good.

i don't exactly have 10 doctor who fics, i don't think? we'll see how far we get with the wips floating around my onenote, and if it's not 10, i'll pad it with other fics -- it'll be a guess the fandom sort of thing, fun for the whole family (although, if you do guess the fandom from one line, i'll be genuinely impressed). starting with the completed ones:

you're the one that i need, i'm the one that you loathe ; nebulously mid s12 thoschei one-shot

“I think it should be me who kills you.”

2. it makes me who i am (i burned it all but i'm doing fine) ; canon divergence where 13 thinks to dive into the matrix mid s12 and sort of uh. breaks her own mind, it's fine, she's alright. thoschei one-shot.

She stands alone, and watches the flames dance.

3. on the catfish and its adaptive capacity in adverse temporal conditions ; you guessed it, mid s12 thoschei one-shot. 13 pays a visit to O for ScienceTM. it doesn't go great.

This is arguably not the most brilliant plan the Doctor’s ever come up with.

and now for the wips. titles are temporary and, were i to finish any of these, would probably change 3-6 times before actually being posted

4. i've loved you for a hundred years (certainly fucking feels like it) ; human au spydoc one-shot that got away from me a bit and that i never ended up finishing.

There's a star in his kitchen.

5. the enemy of my enemy, and other cautionary tales ; i don't even know what this was going to be, but it was going to involve a team-up with Jack and the Master, and some shenanigans. maybe even some hijinks? hard to say.

"So," Jack says, wondering why the hell he's still standing here, "explain to me again why I should care?"

6. driving lessons ; a tentatively thasmin one-shot set between s12 and flux, exploring how yaz learnt to pilot the tardis as well as she has, aka 13 teaches her something instead of apologizing every time she behaves like a dick. might still finish this one, actually

"Want me to show you how to reset the chronion collector brackets?"

7. help is on the way ; a jack/13 one-shot set after once, upon time, because how could i not bring jack into the aftermath of whatever the hell happened in that episode

She holds it together for a remarkably long time, all things considered.

8. another night and i'll see you (another night and i'll be you) ; power of the doctor one-shot, exploring whatever the fuck happened with that doctor/master combination. got distracted from it, but honestly would like to go back to it at some point because seriously, the implications

He— she— they— are bleeding.

the other doctor who wips are not at a stage where they have opening lines, so bonus round!

9. a day in the life, and other team building exercises ; okay, this one's an easy fandom guess, but it's not about to be posted any time soon, so shouldn't give me away

"Warden," Camilla says, with all the neutrality only a lifetime can teach, "is that a knife?"

10. quick study ; teaching one's teammate to drive when one's teammate also happens to be an alien with a bit of a kleptomaniac streak

"This just seems so unnecessarily complicated."

and that's 10! this was very fun, thank you again for the tag! I don't really have many mutuals on this account, but if you see this and are interested, consider yourself tagged! i love reading these tag games

[skycowboys]

If you've already gone through this, feel free to ignore, but I'm very interested in learning how the pilots pick their rides!

Is it an equal exchange where the pilot picks the pegasus but the pegasus has to feel some kind of trust? Are there times where pegasi only let certain people they jive with ride them or is it just about earning trust and any person can ride any horse?

Do some riders go to farms and pick them as babies or is it when the pegasi are adults? Is it more common to simply find a wild herd and catch what you want or earn its trust? Do riders even pick from wild herds or are breeders common enough that most people go that route?

I imagine some people want the wild ones or spend their lives tracking down and capturing very rare specimens (like the phoenix one you drew before). Also, it seems like acquiring one bred in captivity might be kind of hard if the pegasi reproduce like horses and only one is born at a time and the gestation is almost a year.

I don't know the lifespan of your pegasi but, if they live a very long time, is it common for some to be willed to children/grandchildren if the original owner passes?

Ahh, the ideas I have are killing me!

Have a great day!

Hi!

Great questions! I haven't laid this all out in one post yet, so here we go!

So, yes - like horses in this world, there are pegasus breeders that you can get foals or adults from. A pilot could also go find a wild pegasus if they wanted to find a specific breed or just wanted a wild one to train on their own, but like horses here, more "domestic" breeds tend to be easier to handle. I imagine there are common breeds that are easier to find and cheaper to buy, (like quarter horses) and more expensive breeds that are more rare or prestigious (like lusitanos), and some in the middle of the two.

Ranchers often look for tracks of land where certain pegasi migrate to and breed at, rather than stretches of land to bring animals to. For example, you can have arctic ranches to breed pegasi like the Stripe Crested Downy Broadwing, or mountain ranches for Deepwood Broadwings, or seaside ranches for Suncrest Longwings rather than all ranches on wide grasslands to house any kind of pegasus. "Location ranching" helps make sure that a rancher has access to a healthy herd, and so can sell foals and young adults alike to pilots who want them so there's enough supply for the demand, despite long gestation/hatching times.

When it comes to a rider/pegasus bond, I liken that to how horses function, rather than to a more "special" bond like Hiccup and Toothless. In my own experience I've found that a horse that's been trained and treated well will absolutely walk through fire for their handler. They'll do anything without question because they trust that they won't be harmed. With a pegasus, a handler can crank that up to 11 and apply it to the dangers and thrills of flying. If you can train a horse to stand still calmly and not worry about a flaming whip being cracked from off the saddle, think of what you can train a pegasus to do!

On top of that, horses are smart and absolutely have a sense of loyalty. My own horse is pretty well behaved for me, but tests any other adult...yet is perfectly behaved for children. I think that would be amplified in pegasi as well. Its really wild to watch a horse protect it's cowboy from an angry cow as he or she tags a calf. I imagine a pegasus would chase down its favored rider if they fell off, or try to buck anyone else off. But also, like a lesson horse, a pegasus could be trained to carry any rider or any skill level of rider. Its kind of incredible how diverse horses can be. I like to apply that to pegasi as well.

Pegasi would have similar lifespans to horses: 25-35 years. Again, it comes down to training and treatment...but also what the pegasus does for a living. A pegasus with a hard job will need to be retired earlier, but generally a pilot who gets a mature-but-young (7-9 years old), well-trained, well-bred pegasus will have a fantastic working partner for 10-15 strong years, with another 5-10 lighter years. A pilot would need more than one working pegasus through the course of a long career, and it's more common to see both pilots with long-term partner pegasi, than to see pilots who use ranch-owned "loaners" or swap from pegasus to pegasus. A old pilot with a young pegasus could certainly hand down that pegasus, imbued with their experience and knowledge, to a younger pilot. Though, its more common for a young pilot to get a young pegasus and "grow up" together as they start their careers/adventures.

~ Larn

[theji]

Things Yizhan Made Me Do

It's BXG Day today! 🐢💛

To commemorate the occasion, I thought of making a list of 13 out-of-character things that I've done since falling into the fandom. (OK I'm a bit late I meant to do this sooner, the day is ending soon in a couple of hours).

1. Start a blog

And a public one, no less. I had a blog when I was in my teens but that was private, like a personal diary. My day job already involves writing so off-work I would usually like to indulge in mindless activities. Now, here I am, maintaining a Yizhan blog. I have not even used Tumblr prior to this but I'm enjoying it now, rambling about our fav boys. Writing is not a chore if it's about them.

2. Join a fandom

I joined a boy band fan club once upon a time, some 15 years ago, but I was never as invested in it as I am now with Yizhan. Back then it was just buying some merch, attending their concert/autograph sessions, listening to their songs. Apart from work, dog mum duties, personal relationships, other hobbies like kombucha brewing, most of my free time is now spent on the fandom. My Netflix account is crying. There is just so much to do and catch up on (I'm not complaining). I also enjoy interacting with and learning from other bloggers here. Antis are no fun and some industry news/developments/hate messages are upsetting but ultimately, you curate your own fandom experience. And I choose positivity and rationality.

3. Indulge in RPS

I don't ever 'ship'. What is 'ship'? 😆 I was always a dutiful audience, just enjoying whatever drama series and moving on after that. I started with CQL like most people and I didn't even notice/like GGDD until much later. Didn't even set out to 'ship' anyone but now I'm a self-professed turtle. SZD is SZD, and anyone can see something special between them if you keep an open mind. I wrote about my SZD reasons here previously. That said, GG & DD are individuals, each with their own successful careers. They come first, the ship comes second. That I'm very clear of.

4. Use Chinese apps

Gosh, my phone and tablet are now full of Chinese apps. I used to have only WeChat cos I needed it for work but now I have Weibo, Oasis, Douyin, WeTV, MangoTV, Youku, etc. Some of them are not even available in the app store so I had to find alternative sources to download them. haha..I even have paid membership for some of these apps. And now, browsing Weibo daily becomes a routine. If you wish, you can just get stuck browsing Weibo for a long long time. It's entertaining.

5. Read fan fic

I only started about 6 months ago but now I'm hooked and fics are largely the only thing I read these days, apart from news. But I only read Yizhan or WangXian fics (p.s. calling for fic recs of other pairings!) I know some might have different feelings about fan fics but to me, I really just see them as fiction, with characters (and sometimes traits) bearing similarities to GGDD. Similarly, I separate the platform from the incident so I have no problems going to A03 despite GG's incident. I just enjoy seeing the characters named XZ/WYB having happy endings in many different timelines and universes. While most of the fics I read are explicit (by design), I don't use them as tools to play out certain fantasies or to think of GGDD in a sexual manner. In fact, I really hate fics that have little substance and just go into the explicit parts without plot development. I like those with interesting premises too, like one I read recently where XZ is a serial killer and WYB is a police officer investigating the case but also in love with him. I do have plans to share my list of fav fan fics some time down the road so keep an eye out for it!

6. Willingly read Chinese

Yes, Chinese may be my mother tongue but I don't use it much in daily living unless I have to. I also find it tedious to read Chinese cos the characters are just so squashed together. If I have a choice, I will always pick English. But now, I read so much Chinese from my daily weibo browsing. I even read fan fics in Chinese! Who am I? On the plus side, I think my Chinese comprehension and translation skills improved. I also picked up some internet lingo used by Chinese netizens, which are pretty interesting like doi, 🐮🍺, 🖍. My all-time fav is yyds.

7. Act like a cougar

In real life, I have always maintained that younger men are childish. At least those I have encountered. But look at me now, fangirling over two younger men (I am closer in age to GG, but still..). I even jokingly call them my 'China Boyfriends'. I look at them very respectfully most of the time.

8. Buy merch

Seriously, once you start, you can't stop. At least that was what happened to me, although I'm still quite selective when it comes to supporting their endorsements. I usually go for consumables like food, cosmetics vs collectibles cos I'm more practical. Also, GG says to support their merch within reasonable means so that's what I'm doing. Just buying things that I'm interested to try and not because it has their faces or names slapped on it. In a way, this suits me cos I like trying new brands and stuff anyway.

9. Keeping a Yizhan archive

Photos, weblinks, videos, songs, fan fics list..my phone is full of these things now. I think my Yizhan photo gallery is only second to the folder with my dogs' pictures. But how can you resist when we are blessed with new pics of them almost every week?

10. Camp for livestreams

I'm lucky I live in the same time zone as the boys so I don't have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to watch something. But that's the thing, being in the same time zone sometimes make me feel like I HAVE to watch that thing live because, why not? Why wait? Not shy to admit that I once watched a live programme in the middle of work but I made sure I finished what needed to be done. I think so long as we don't let these livestream schedules run our lives, there's no harm in camping for them.

11. Watch c entertainment

I am one of those who used to pass over Chinese productions, simply because it's a Chinese production. Not in a scoffing manner but I'm just genuinely not interested in them nor the celebs. I was more of a US/UK production kind of person, occasionally Korean/Japanese. Now, I'm learning to enjoy them although I just watch those with GGDD in them. No energy to follow other Chinese celebs anyway. The other programme I'm contemplating watching even if it doesn't have them in it is Who's the Murderer (GG was only in one of the cases) cos I like the premise. On the flip side, now my sis and partner keep making fun of me cos to them, all I do now is "watch China shows". That is so not true. Or is it?

12. Write fan mail

I wrote a letter to GG once. A long-ass letter. I hope he read it. That's all I'm gonna say. 🙈 hahahahaha

13. Desire to visit China

China was never on my list of to-visit places. Just wasn't interested. I have been to Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou a few times in the past for work but even then, I never felt the urge to revisit for leisure. Now, I wanna visit GG and DD's home town, visit Chongqing to see the graffiti wall with Bobii Zanbii on it, eat mala hotpot and try out their sauce recipe, attend BXG events, dine at the CQL restaurant... Watching TTXS also made me realise that there are many beautiful places in China with natural landscapes and all that. I used to be clouded by my disdain for the regime and some behaviour of its citizens but now, I recognise that the country is separate from the regime or a smaller group of poorly behaved citizens. China is a beautiful country and I would love to visit some day. I will fly over immediately on my own if someone gives me tix to ADLAD!!

Well, I hope some of these things resonate with you. Feel free to share the OOC things that Yizhan made you do.

Once again, Happy BXG Day! 🐢💛🐆🐇🐷🌶🦁🍑🐶🍍🛹🎋

[cm-top-10]

C.M. Top 10: Powerful &/or Dangerous Items

There are many items I keep stored in times like this. Some that do good, but others that're too dangerous if in the wrong hands. So this ten features the most powerful & dangerous items known to man. & those you don't know what is or what it does, I'll gladly have them explained why.

1. AVP/Aliens - Xenomorph Royal Jelly

Royal Jelly is a unique & rare substance to find anywhere in any galaxy. Only way to find some is on the Xenos' homeworld of Xenomorph Prime or if some idiot &/or mad scientist happens to just stumble upon it somewhere.

But be careful what's dangerous about this stuff is that it has metamorphosis properties that effect only Xenomorphs. Because once a lower class Xenomorph gets their jaws on this stuff or eats enough of it, their body & system go through changes. & once fully morphed that particular Xeno who ate it will turn into a Hive Queen.

But just know other Xenomorphs during the Xeno-Anarchist have fought & killed each other over this stuff ever since their last Queen Mother died. & last I heard it was an enemy Red Xenomorph that ate the stuff to become a Red Queen Mother. So that's how important this ooze is to them, cuz they'll do anything to fill the powergap between the hives. & so far only two colored Xenos have waged war on each other over it.

2. The Dragon Prince - Sunforge Blade

Sunforge Elves are the finest blade makers in all the magik kingdoms of Xadia. But these are no mere knives no, these weapons are made in fires one could never imagine. In fact the blade still remains extremely hot to the touch as soon as it's forging is finished.

Its said to be so hot that it can even burn through walls in one slice. Even the thickest armor or strongest sword doesn't stand a chance to it's burning edges.

& to keep the owner from being burned by their own blade, a special satchel is made to hold it's temperature in check.

So remember kids don't play with hot knives.

3. SDBH - Dark Dragon Balls

Made by Dende against his own free will. Towa saw to it that a special set of Dragon Balls were made by her specifications. Thus the Dark Dragon Balls were born...

However these are no mere wishing orbs. When used they awaken an evil dragon named Dark Shenron who'll grant any evil desire that person wants, through evil content.

Once a wish is made, all seven spread across time & space until they're reunited again. However if so they'll form into the demonic Shadow Dragons of Shenron.

But if they don't the orbs will chose an evil host to attach itself to. Until a warrior is strong enough to take it from them by force. But fair warning, once a being is merged with a Dark Dragon Ball, their power skyrockets into something not seen before.

So be careful what you wish for...

4. Kaijudo/Duel Masters - Choten Armor & the Five Relics

With all five of these relics, the Choten was able to control all five Creature Monarchs in one summon. The Sword of Fiery Cataclysm, the Cloak of Dark Illusion, the Shield of Unity, the Helm of Ultimate Technology & the Heart of Light. When all five are used together, not just creature gods will be controlled. But all creatures of the Veil will be under your command.

But it's the main reason they're too dangerous to leave about. Which was why they were stored away for safe keeping.

5. Transformers Prime - the Dark Star Saber

The Dark Saber is one of Megatron's greatest creations. Though it has not yet slain a Prime, it's still the most powerful weapon he's ever created from Dark Energon.

Like Optimus' Star Saber it can slice through anything, even a mountain. It can even send a powerful slice wave through the air, making it feel like you've been hit by a cutting shockwave.

Though after Starscream's defeat after using the Dark Star Saber, the Autobots smartly locked it away. Where nobody will ever get it. Probably for the best it remains locked away.

6. DC Universe - Blue Lantern Power Battery

Now the reason this little baby is on the list. Is because this Blue Power Battery has enough juice to power up not just Blue Lanterns. But can also full-power a Green Lantern's ring power tenfold!

The blue charge is so powerful it makes a Green Lantern feel like a new man.

Reasons why the Green & Blue Lantern Corps have been allies. & due to the two colors' relationship with each other. That Blue Element energy can surge a Green one's power full blast & can make it's user feel unstoppable.

7. Star Wars - Darksaber

Now this saber has alot of history. & tons of previous owners who just either lost it in battle or just managed to pass it down to someone else. But this saber can only be earned by one-on-one combat only.

& only the strongest shall wield it! Darth Maul was one of the previous owners. Though he was not Mandalorian, he still used it like he was made for it. However this weapon has even lost previous owners over the years.

Most even rumored that those who held it always ended up dead. Which is why not many Mandalorians went looking for it.

& hopefully Mando doesn't end up the same fate & curse...

8. Dofus: Kerub's Bazaar - Ecaflip's Sword of Nine Tails

As weird as this weapon is Ecaflip's Sword of Nine Tails is a powerful weapon. This very sword is what even brought him into godhood.

By sacrificing his nine tails except the one attached to him to this day. He used that very sword to cut the multiple heads of the 9 Headed Hydra during battle. Thus making him a hero to all.

Reasons why this sword is dangerous is because it can literally slice through anything. & it can withstand the burning fires of hell. Which was perfectly made for the battle against the Hydra.

In other words Ecaflip made one hell of a sword!

9. Batman vs. TMNT - Joker Mutagen

What makes this worse than all the other items is that this particular mutagen is a cocktail mixture between the T.G.R.I. mutagen & the A.C.E. chemicals Joker uses to make his infamous Joker Gas. One injection of this vile ooze & you mutate into the last thing you touch, only with a psychotic aftereffect to go with it.

Luckily this stuff was destroyed before it could reach Gotham & mutate it's people into mad mutations.

10. Marvel Universe/Death Battle - the Continuity Stone

For those who don't know about the Continuity Stone, or Canon Stone as most people call it. Was a lost Infinity Stone made the same way as the other 6...well 7 counting this one. Anyway the Continuity Stone has the power to literally rewrite any form of reality it's user, namely Deadpool wants it to be. But what's really dangerous about this stone is that it warps Wade's mind most worst than it already is.

That & he gets carried away sometimes with the reality jacking so best it stays locked up.

Deadpool: AWE!! Come on man! I said I'd use it responsibility!

Wade you're not getting it back till you behave & stop messing with reality. & get off my 4th Wall or I'll tell Harley & Death about last year's Christmas party! 💢

Deadpool: Hmph...fine! (-3-)💢

[pixie-mage]

I don't know if i was supposed to send two characters for the same writing prompt but i'll try this since Rexy needs some love. 9 -L !

From this NatM Writing Prompt: [ x ]

(Either way works! We all love our Puppy-saurus Rex! ^^)

Characters: Rexy Adjectives: Lonely

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

From near his usual perch in the lobby, the skeleton of a tyrannosaurus rex watched from empty sockets as the museum’s night guard came tearing out of an archway on the right, being quickly pursued by a younger teen.

“You got the keys, right Nick?” the guard asked.

“Of course I did,” the teenager replied, rolling his eyes. “The only person Dexter plays ‘keep away’ with is you, Dad.”

“A simple ‘yes’ would have been fine, Nicky.”

The guard - Larry Daley - came skidding to a stop in front of the circular desk at the lobby’s center, slipping behind it and digging through a bag he had stowed there. He pulled out a single hockey glove and a goalie blocker, shaking his head in irritation as he did so.

“I thought the Mayans were past this,” he muttered. “They were behaving so well this week. And then this–”

Rexy approached Larry and Nick with his tail wagging, his bone already held tight in his teeth. He made a little whining noise in the back of his throat and bent down, looking to all the world like he wanted to play. He dropped the bone at Nick’s feet.

“Not now, Rexy,” Larry said, sounding distracted. He barely spared Rexy half a glance as he tugged on the glove, then tossed the bag to his son Nick.

There was a whirring as a small remote-controlled car sped into view from an archway on the left, through which sat the Hall of Miniatures.

“Get gaited, Laredo!” a small southern voice piped up from inside the car. “We’ve got a hell of a hootenanny goin’ on between the two halves of the hall. Them Mayans ‘re fightin’ like kilkenny cats. We had about twenty men downed by poisoned dart last I checked.”

“Tweny-four, to be exact,” a second voice spoke up, a miniature Roman General. “My men are diligent and our shields may be strong but the Mayans are an unpredictable adversary. Much like the Americans when we first were at war.”

There was a fondness in the last phrase. Not that Rexy noticed or cared, but it was there all the same.

“Now don’t you get sappy on me, ‘Tavius,” the cowboy scolded. “Keep yer head on straight. We’ve gotta get them Mayan boys under control ‘fore all hell breaks loose.”

“It already has, Jedediah,” Octavius said. There was a muffled thump from inside the car, followed by an “Ow!” from the centurion.

“Guys!”

The two miniatures stopped bickering, staring up through the tiny windshield of the car to meet Larry’s disbelieving eyes.

“Seriously?! Mayans. Bigger problem.”

“Of course, my liege.”

“You got it Gigantor.”

“Alright.” Larry nodded. “Nick and I will try and get as many of them back into Guatemala as we can. You two just - get your people to try and push them back.”

“Am I locking them up or are you?” Nick asked, already wearing a hockey glove and a blocker like his father.

“Uh–” Larry thought for a moment. “You. Better you than me, in case Dexter decides to show up for a round two.”

Nick giggled.

The remote-controlled car whirred back into motion, and the familiar noise made Rexy’s head perk up. Oh! He knew this game! He picked up his bone again and brought it over to the tiny car, tail wagging all the while. Play? Chase?

“No can do, Rexasaurus,” Jed shook his head. “We’ve got a group o’ crazy tribesmen to wrangle.”

Rexy whimpered, head tilting to the side.

“Not now, Rexy,” Larry reaffirmed, this time looking Rexy right in the eye sockets. “Later. Okay? We’re kind of busy right now.”

Rexy whined, but the group was clearly focussed on a much more important task. Larry and Nick took off into the Hall of Miniatures with the miniature car speeding after them as quickly as it could go.

The lobby fell silent.

Rexy’s tail drooped against the ground.

The dinosaur whimpered into the empty room, nobody around to hear his lonely plea. He just wanted to play. Lately, things in the museum had been so busy that Larry was always being pulled to every corner of the building...and Nick often spent more time with the huns or Ahkmenrah than he did anywhere else. Plus Jedediah and Octavius were most often seen together rather than apart, and though this used to mean they’d be happy to spend some time driving around the museum dragging a bone while their local Tyrannosaurus chased after them, it had become rather difficult to find them as of late. It had become rather difficult to find anyone to play with as of late.

And as for the rest of the museum...well. Rexy whimpered again and put his rib back where it belonged, circling the spot he stood a few times and settling onto the ground. He tucked in his tail and let out a deep sigh.

Many of the other museum occupants were still too afraid to get close to him.

With that sad little thought, Rexy  found himself dozing off into a light sleep in the center of the museum lobby, completely oblivious to the smiling faces that were watching him from a distance.

“He is asleep, I think.”

“So he is. This may be easier than we first thought, my dear.”

Creeping down the stairs on soft feet, Sacagawea motioned for Teddy to stay quiet and stay where he was. She approached the snoozing dinosaur and smiled adoringly once she was close enough to see that he was, indeed, fully asleep. She nodded up toward the balcony above where Teddy stood waiting. The former president was quick to join her in the lobby.

“I will go find the others,” Sacagawea informed him. “Could you seek out Larry and Nick? The Mayans were not part of the plan tonight, but I imagine they will be finished soon.”

“Of course my dear.”

Teddy took her hand, pressed a kiss to her fingers, and swiftly followed the path their night guard had taken a few minutes prior. Sacagawea smiled softly to herself. If given the choice, she would gladly indulge herself in spending more time with her love rather than send him off on a mission...but today was significant. She had a more important task to handle. With one last glance toward the sleeping tyrannosaurus, she vanished back up the stairs and down the hall.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Rexy awoke slowly an hour or so later. His tail quivered as he stretched, huffing a breath out his nose and yawning widely, his massive teeth bared for all to see. He thought, for a moment, he might still be sleeping...because the lobby was terribly dark. It was difficult to see, and as the dino got back to his feet, he was careful not to move too much lest he trip in the dark...or worse, accidentally step on a friend. What was going on? Where was everyone? Why were the lights off? Rexy made a rumbling, questioning noise in the back of his throat, confused and curious.

“Ready?” a quiet, familiar voice whispered from somewhere to Rexy’s left. He turned his head, trying to find its owner. “Okay...3...2...1…”

“SURPRISE!”

Lights flared to life throughout the museum, the sound of switches being flipped completely drowned out by the sea of joyous voices that had filled the air. Rexy took a step back, surprised and startled, trying to understand what he was seeing.

Everyone was here. Everyone. Larry and Nick stood by the front desk, Larry with one hand still lingering near the light switches. A sea of miniatures covered the desk’s surface. The huns were grouped off to one side near the eskimos, the cavemen were all making excited noises somewhere near the back of the crowd, and vikings, statues, civil war soldiers, and more were mixed among the rest of the museum’s inhabitants. A select few animals had been let loose to join them, Dexter among them, and Sacagawea and Teddy were standing side by side near the front of the crowd. Ahkmenrah was leaning back against the desk, and when things began to settle, he murmured something in an undertone to Larry behind him.

Larry nodded. He abandoned the desk and made his way through the crowd, a paper bag in his hand, a beaming grin splitting his face.

“Happy Birthday, Rexy!” he announced, drawing another round of excited cheering from the gathered crowd. Larry’s expression was bright and warm and excited, and when he finally reached Rexy he held up a hand to pet the dinosaur’s nose. Rexy leaned into it, more than a little happy to be on the receiving end of the night guard’s affections after so long of going without it.

Not that a few weeks was that long in the grand scheme of things, but it certainly felt like ages to the puppy-like tyrannosaurus. A rumbling noise started up in the back of his nonexistent throat and he leaned down to nuzzle his skull against Larry’s chest, his tail wagging happily behind him.

“I know we don’t know your real birthday,” Larry went on, scratching along Rexy’s jaw, “but I figured the day you arrived at the museum was as close as we were gonna get. One hundred years ago today. Can you believe that?”

Rexy leaned into the scratches, making happy little noises all the while, and Larry chuckled to himself.

“Ya like that big guy?” he smiled. “Heh. Hang on, I’ve got a present for you.”

Present? Present! Rexy sniffed at the bag in Larry’s hand when the guard held it up, eager to see what was inside. Present. For him? Really?

“Yeah buddy! That’s for you!” Larry said. Rexy nipped at the bag and Larry pulled it out of his reach, chuckling. “Hang on! Hang on, Rexy. Let me get it out first!”

Larry reached into the bag and pulled out what looked like the biggest dog bone in the world. It would be huge for most dogs, but for Rexy? It was perfect. The dinosaur crouched where he stood, in full play mode, his tag wagging wildly behind him. The onlookers grinned and giggled and laughed at his antics. Larry glanced back over his shoulder at them, his eyes sparkling. He returned his focus to the overeager puppy-saur in front of him.

“I know, you’re excited,” he nodded, holding up the bone with some effort. “But here’s the thing. I can give this to you now–”

Rexy made little rumbling noises at the prospect, dancing a little on the spot.

“–or! Hang on, buddy.” Larry stifled another laugh. “Or we can see what everybody else got you. Okay? There’s more presents from everyone, not just this one.”

Rexy looked torn. Play with bone, or get more toys. Bone. More toys. Bone now. Bone later? Toys now...toys later…

It was a very difficult decision.

Until the remote-controlled car came speeding into view.

“Hey! Rexy!”

Jed was practically hanging out the window of the car, waving his hat to get the dinosaur’s attention.

“Hey there big fella!” he called, grinning ear to ear. “Guess what we’ve got!”

The car raced past, driving straight between the dino and the night guard, and it was only then that Rexy’s attention was caught by the colorful toy being dragged by the car. It wasn’t as big as the bone Larry had gotten him, nor was it even a bone at all, but it was eye-catching and made jingling noises as it was dragged along, the colorful ball rolling and bouncing slightly in the wake of the car it was attached to.

Rexy was off and on the chase before Larry knew it, and he - along with the others at the very front of the crowd - had to duck to avoid the swing of the dinosaur’s tail.

Larry grinned.

“Rexy looks exceedingly happy, Larry,” a warm voice appeared at Larry’s side. “I think this party is already a raging success and it has barely begun.”

“He does look happy,” Larry agreed. He turned to smile at Ahkmenrah, who had come to stand beside him and watch the oversized puppy play chase through the lobby and front halls of the museum. “Thanks for the idea.”

“You would have thought of it yourself eventually,” Ahk inclined his head toward the ‘guardian’, smiling all the while. “You are rather creative yourself, and you care greatly for everyone here. It would have crossed your mind at some point I’m sure.”

“Still,” Larry shrugged, pocketing his hands and turning back toward Rexy. “He’s been so down lately. Thanks for the help.”

“You are more than welcome.”

“Dad! Dad! Dad!” Nick came up behind Larry, tugging on his arm. “Can I get Rexy’s new ball out? I think the car needs to recharge soon and–”

“You don’t need to give me a reason.” Larry shook his head with a smile and pointed toward the desk. “It should be back there with the other gifts. Just - try not to let Rexy pop it on the first night. If we can get it to last a week at least I’ll be happy.”

“Sure!”

Then Nick was gone, digging through the gifts with abandon. Somewhere in the distance, a whoop and a holler rang through the air alongside a shout of “ONWARD!” as a tiny car drove whiplashing circles around the giant dinosaur looming overhead.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

The night had gone about as well as Larry and Nick had hoped. The ball Nick had sought out earlier was, surprisingly, still in one piece. The exhibits had had a fun time playing some form of “keep away” with Rexy, the ball bouncing and soaring back and forth over the crowd while Rexy tried to snatch it out of the air. Attila and his men had played tug-of-war with the dino at some point, the sturdy rope they had been using now shredded and sitting in a pile on the desk. Nick and Ahk had taken a few turns riding on the dinosaur’s back, much to the enjoyment of all involved. An oversized plush toy sat in Larry’s lap (courtesy of Sacagawea and the civil war soldiers) looking a little chewed on, but mostly still in one piece. He was leaning back against the wall at the back of the lobby, past the stairs, and Rexy was curled up nearby. He was gnawing happily on the bone from the beginning of the evening.

There was about an hour left until dawn, and some of the exhibits had already begun making their way back toward their displays. Teddy and Sacagawea were organizing a small group to help clean up the remnants of the party...and Larry would join them soon too. But first…

Larry reached over, rubbing his knuckles against Rexy’s nose. The dino leaned into the affection, a happy rumble bubbling up from somewhere near his chest.

“Did you have a fun birthday, buddy?” Larry asked. Rexy’s tail thumped loudly against the floor a few times, and Larry smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

The guard sighed softly. His smile faded.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been paying attention to you,” he said quietly. “I could just say that it’s because the museum has been more...lively than usual lately, but that’s no excuse to make you sad.” Rexy lifted his head, tilting it in question. “I know you’ve been kind of lonely lately, and I’m sorry. Some of the other exhibits noticed and told me about it. I’m sorry that I didn’t see it myself. Nobody should ever feel forgotten, alright? That’s - ya know. That’s Friendship 101, and I’ve been kind of a bad friend. Haven’t I?”

Rexy whined softly and nuzzled Larry’s head as gently as he could. The night guard smiled weakly and held up a hand to pat the end of the puppy-saur’s nose.

“It’s nice of you to forgive me, but...still.” Larry was quiet for a moment. Then– “I know I can’t always have time to play with you, same with Nick. I have a job to do and he’s my backup when things get hairy. But I’m gonna try to be better. And…”

He looked thoughtful, as if trying to decide if he should say anything or not.

“...and I know we keep other dinosaurs locked away in the B-wing. I’ll talk to McPhee and see if we can’t get you a friend on display out here, so you have someone to play with. Okay?”

Rexy panted happily and his tail whipped back and forth along the floor, thwacking the walls on either side in his exuberance.

“Okay, okay!” Larry laughed. “Calm down, buddy. I said I’d talk to McPhee, but it’s up to him. No promises! But I’ll try. Alright?”

Rexy bumped his nose against Larry’s shoulder, then flopped his head down right up against the night guard’s crossed legs.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

When the sun rose later that early morning, and when the first few guests began to filter in through the museum’s front doors, McPhee swore the sharp-toothed smile the tyrannosaurus wore was wider than it had ever been before. But surely it was a trick of the morning light...right?

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

[A/N: This was a lot of fun to write! I haven’t written much in the NatM fandom yet, so this was a really fun practice...and we all know Rexy deserves all the love. Hope you enjoyed it!]

[basketballandtextbooks]

Speaking of analyses, what's your interpretation of Kenny? (I feel like he's the one character that really doesn't get talked about in the same manner as other characters. Sure, he gets praised often for being a good boi and there's discussions/theories of his curse, his homelife, sex... But as far as him as a WHOLE, as a person, I don't tend to see that a lot. I think that's why his fanon interpretations feel like a disconnection: He's quiet, his hood being down doesn't mean he'll "talk more")

To even begin delving into all of the aspects of Kenny’s personality, we’ll first have to divide up subsections to how he behaves in certain circumstances, ascertain his motives for doing so, and then finally combine all of that information into a cohesive assessment of his thoughts, feelings, and agendas. And as a bonus, I’d like to discuss how these traits would most likely change and develop over time.  All that said, I just really like his character so instead of doing all that fancy essay work, I’m just going to babble about him. We’ll start with what is both the most and least important aspect to Kenny; his relationship with death.

Death has haunted Kenny for his entire life so far as we, the viewers, are able to tell. The current in-series explanation for his ceaseless bouts of death involves his parents in a cthulhu cult before he was even born. The details here are vague, but the implication that leaves us with is that this is a lifelong affliction. Flashbacks as early as preschool support this theory as we’ve seen Kenny die in a firecracker accident back then. Kenny’s feelings towards death are made clear in several lines and yet more nonverbal cues. He’s scared of death. It’s painful and he hates it. Even knowing he’ll come back, or at least assuming he’ll come back, that doesn’t stop him from screaming, running, crying out, hiding, and outright declaring how painful and unpleasant he finds death. This at least tells us one thing about Kenny’s personality going forward that will be important to understanding further aspects: He hates pain. He’s had plenty of pain, pain beyond what a normal person could ever imagine, and he hates it. One conjecture we can make from this knowledge is he’s extremely unlikely to self-harm in a violent or painful way, such as cutting or punching himself. He has shown a brief interest in pain for sexual pleasure though, as seen with his stint of asphyxiation for masturbation. The attempt killed him but we never get a follow up on whether or not he found it enjoyable, therefore it can be read as either “Kenny enjoys pain for pleasure, specifically asphyxiation” or “Kenny tried pain for pleasure once and as it resulted in his death, he doesn’t want to do it again” or “Kenny will try anything sexual at least once”. Among these readings, the third is most likely the most accurate while the first two can be entirely up to the opinion of the interpreter. They have equal canonicity behind them.

His hatred of death and pain has led him to become bitter and angry towards the people around him on many occasions. For example, when Kyle was dying Kenny was incapable of feeling sympathy for Stan’s sadness over it when Stan was so consistently apathetic towards his own death. It’s clear that Kenny doesn’t want Kyle to die and cares about the well-being of all of his friends (sacrificing his life for them on many occasions) but it was particularly painful to listen to Stan talk about how sad he was that a friend of his was dying in the hospital. If we pay attention to the timeline, this happens before Kenny dies in the hospital and Stan refuses to visit him, which would solidify every feeling of resentment he felt when Stan was worried over Kyle. During that time, Stan had had no trouble visiting Kyle in the hospital so from Kenny’s perspective, Stan just didn’t care. Still, he clearly cares for Stan and his other friends which is why we hear the repeated “Where’s Stan?” that breaks our hearts every damn time. It’s worth noting that Kenny has a teddy bear in the hospital that is never seen before or since, it’s very likely a bear from the hospital gift shop given to him by one of his visitors. So either Chef, his parents, or Kyle bought him the bear. A personal favorite headcanon of mine is that Kevin stole the bear for him but there is absolutely no evidence to support that hypothesis. Logically the culprit is either Chef or Kyle, considering the McCormick’s money troubles, and it would be very in character of Sheila to insist he buy something for his friend at the gift shop. Another thing to note is that Kyle is the only one of his friends, aside from Cartman, who visits him in his hospital room. Butters sends a card and there are visible gifts that build over time. We know for a fact during the episode where Kyle was dying that the teacher would have the students make cards for a sick classmate, so the card and gifts are most likely a byproduct of that. It is worth noting that while Kenny was dying such a slow and painful death, Kyle was the only one who was able to stay at his side. Stan found it too painful to watch him die and Eric was off on his mission to ‘save’ Kenny. I believe this impacted the way Kenny viewed his friends in the future, distancing himself from Eric and opening up to Stan less and less. His relationship with Kyle remains dubious and the other kids in his class he keeps an emotional distance between.

One cannot address the issues of this episode without also delving into the issues regarding the length of his death and revival. It’s implicit in the show that Kenny has no idea how long he will be dead for, a few hours or a few years, and there is very little consistency in how he is revived. Most frequently he revives via a literal rebirth (one notable instance of this causing his mother to have a miscarriage), but he’s also had instances of reviving back into his own corpse or literally appearing out of thin air. This leads us to the explanation that he doesn’t know how long he’ll be dead, where he’ll go, or how he’ll revive. This loss of control in his life causes him to put a significant distance between himself and anyone he might care about, for fear that his condition would ruin any chances of maintaining the relationship.

This is especially apparent in his complicated relationship with Cartman (which we will address in more detail later). During his extended period of death, Cartman was the driving force in finding a ‘Kenny replacement’ and Kenny’s self-proclaimed BFF. Both Stan and Kyle joined these attempts cheerfully, but Cartman was the most determined. He tried with both Tweek and Butters, succeeding in finding a best friend in Butters and making Butters an on-again-off-again addition to the ‘main four’ while also maintaining a close (and complicated) friendship to Cartman. Butters was compared to Kenny on several occasions during this transition and showed both agitation and resentment over the comparison. Eventually putting Kenny up on a pedestal as someone ‘great’ because of all the times the guys assured him that “Kenny would do it if he were here”.

It’s worth noting that the two individuals within canon who clearly and canonically remember Kenny’s deaths are Cartman and Timmy. While an explanation for Timmy’s knowledge is still left up in the air, there are a few potential explanations for Cartman’s retained memories. One explanation that I normally prescribe to is that Cartman has Kenny’s eyes and by taking a body-part of Kenny’s, he can now see Kenny’s deaths. This explanation isn’t perfect, as Cartman showed signs of understanding Kenny’s condition prior to that episode, but its one potential explanation. Understanding his condition could have been a basis for the initial development of their friendship or it could have been a secret shared when they were still close that Eric was naïve enough to believe. Although, Eric’s understanding of Kenny’s condition could very easily be an explanation for his own apathy towards other people's deaths (like how he murdered Scott’s parents). Ever since he could remember, his best friend had died and come back, at the age of 8 or 9, how could he possibly have a complete understanding that Kenny’s case wasn’t normal. He could have very well expected Scott’s parents to return the next day the same way Kenny did. While it’s also possible he committed those murders knowing full well that their deaths were permanent, it is still hard to believe that he’d even be capable of taking death seriously after seeing Kenny die so many times.

Continuing further, Kenny’s fear of death does not make him cowardly, quite the contrary. Some stand out sacrifices that he made while scared would be during the meteor shower trilogy (he owed nothing to those people and still gave his life to protect them) and during the hunt for Eric’s parentage, sacrificing his life to save the hospital. He was scared both times and they were ultimately selfless acts. What makes them stand out even more though is how dependent his friends were on him during both instances. They had full and complete faith and trust that Kenny would save the day. Even without cognitively remembering Kenny’s condition, they still trust him with their lives and know he’s the sort of person who would save them.

It’s very likely that this is a reason that Kenny grew into a more and more protective person as the seasons go by, in a way this faith that he’d save them is some of the purest positive feedback he gets from his asshole friends. Whether intentional or not, there was a part of Kenny and his friends who viewed him as a protector above all else. These sorts of implicit expectations can really affect a person’s development. It is most likely due to a combo of this aforementioned expectation and Kenny’s growing cynicism about his own deaths, that he accepts the role so whole-heartedly.

Kenny has a strong association with drugs from early seasons, where rumors of him sniffing paint were prevalent and an instance of him snorting alien coke occurred. His hedonistic personality and inability to die seemingly leading him to believe that he was invincible. And therefore he doesn’t need to worry about the negative effects of recreational drug use. This all changed after the events of major boobage. It should be evidence alone that by the end of major boobage, all rumors about Kenny and drugs ended and he was never again referenced to indulge in recreational substances, especially considering their earlier prevalence, but the series goes even further to show us that he not only got clean, stayed clean, but has developed a dislike for recreational and addictive substances.

Kenny would never do recreational drugs of any kind as a teen or adult and he is unlikely to drink alcohol either. It is very likely he dislikes weed, meth, and beer in particular. Kenny exhibited addictive behavior during Major Boobage and he was addicted to cheesing. However at the end of Major Boobage, Kenny stated firmly that he did not want to be addicted, would quit immediately, and he decided firmly to avoid drugs henceforth. His entire character arc for the episode was learning that he did not like the recreational use of drugs. It’s interesting that the fans interpret this episode as proof he would do drugs considering the entire plot of the episode was about his character growth in that specific regard. It’s like watching an episode where Stan learns to accept his gay dog and saying he will always be homophobic and never change because he started the episode not accepting his gay dog. It’s boggling.

However it is worth noting that Kenny relapsed at the very end of the episode by 'getting high on life'. While this could be evidence that he’d ‘never’ get clean (again disregarding all other evidence to the contrary) but it actually shows something that is quite telling for his ability to stay sober. His friends were quick to help him and pull him back from it. This alludes to him continuing to have support from friends and family during recovery. Recovery is a hard and difficult thing that is nearly impossible without a support network. This is a shockingly optimistic moment when understood through the lens of how difficult it is to fight for sobriety.

However the evidence that Kenny has chosen to stay clean doesn’t stop there. Aside from all rumors about him sniffing paint and other implications dying down all together, we have an extremely telling scene with his parents in a later season. During the superhero trilogy Mysterion startles his parents while they are getting high (specifically on weed). His parents state, fearfully, that Mysterion has been threatening them to stay off drugs and attempt to hide the pot from him, knowing he wouldn’t approve. This is telling in a few ways but one that is significant is that Kenny hated his parents' use of drugs, including ‘harmless drugs’ such as marijuana so much that he would go as far as to threaten them. We very rarely see an outright aggressive or threatening Kenny and we almost never see him show any ill will towards his family. Kenny is shown over the course of the series to be very fond of his family. His hatred of recreational drug use would have to be quite intense for him to go as far as to threaten his parents. The implied subtext of this scene is that Kenny considered what they were doing to be an extremely bad thing. So bad that he would threaten people he loves enough to terrify them that badly. This shows that since the Major Boobage episode, Kenny's attitude towards drugs has definitely grown negative. Moreso, the threat of staying off drugs was paired with the threat to ‘treat their children better’, leaving the heavy implication that he views those two as linked.

Even further evidence provided for Kenny’s continued sobriety and dislike of recreational abuse of addictive substances. During The Poor Kid, when Kenny was out of options with his foster family, he resorted to providing them with alcohol. Showing that he firmly believes that the best way to destroy people is to give them addictive products like alcohol. Further evidence that he feels negatively towards the drugs and alcohol. It’s played off as a joke in the episode but it’s clear that Kenny has strongly associated alcohol with destroying people.

Despite drugs and alcohol playing a major role in several plot lines that follow, Kenny is never shown to have an interest in them. As stated above, in early seasons he’d happily snort alien coke and now he never so much as approaches drugs positively. It’s extremely indicative that this change and interest in sobriety is long-lasting.

Finally we also see Kenny joining Stan's band that he created out of frustration with his situation on Tegridy Farms. Stan has grown to hate weed and what it represents and it is currently causing his family life to be much worse than usual. Kenny, as shown in episodes like The Scoots, loves his friends a lot Stan included. Watching his friend in so much pain can only cause him to view the substance as even worse. It is very likely that while they were working on the band and practicing he heard Stan's complaints as well. Kenny is actively watching as marijuana tears the Marsh family apart. He also watched Stan’s struggles with alcoholism and Stan’s fathers struggles with addiction as yet further examples of how these substances can destroy lives.

During TFBW game, there is a drug subplot that Mysterion actively works to put a stop to. Again, never once part-taking in drugs and actively fighting against their spread in his city. It doesn’t get any more blatant that that. Kenny is far more likely to join the DEA than he is to get high behind the gym. Kenny would never indulge in recreational drug use, specifically meth, weed, and beer, because of his experience watching them ruin families and strain friendships. As well as his own experience with drugs when he decided that he did not want to live that kind of lifestyle.

There’s a bit more evidence that delves into the realm of headcanon, but it is a logical extension of deductive reasoning based on the canon content we are provided with so I will include it as well. We know that Kenny and Satan developed a friendly relationship during Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. We also saw Satan give Stan a very simplified and child friendly lecture on addiction, as though he’d given the same lecture before. While there is no evidence of this, it isn’t a stretch to imagine the person he’d previously helped through their addictive tendencies was Kenny.

To be clear, this isn’t an anti-drug PSA. I don’t care what characters do or don’t do drugs, this is merely establishing that for Kenny specifically with the character arc he’s had, it is very unlikely and borderline insulting to his struggles for sobriety. However Kenny’s connections to drugs also open up some interesting relationship details as well.

During the major boobage episode in particular all of his friends join forces to get Kenny clean, Kyle in particular spear-heading the effort. Stan was there and Butters was there but neither showed as much passion or commitment for assisting Kenny’s progress to sobriety as Kyle did. Even putting his own neck on the line by hiding a cat in his room (with Sheila Broflovski as a mother, is he suicidal?). It’s yet another case, like with the Kenny Dies episode, where all his friends offer very passive support and Kyle offers a very aggressive and consistent support. It’s shown a pattern thus far of Kyle feeling in some way responsible for Kenny’s wellbeing. Which could be explained by a few things, Kyle’s obsessive and passionate personality or perhaps he feels subconsciously guilty for all the times he’s left Kenny for dead. Really we have no way of knowing why he’s doing this but we do know he’s starting to develop a pattern of protectiveness towards Kenny. What’s even more interesting is during both instances Kenny is too far gone to notice. During Kenny Dies he’s frequently asking for Stan and during this episode he’s angry and belligerent that Kyle is taking away his high. Making both tasks thankless endeavors on Kyle’s part (which is also a little unusual because Kyle loves to be praised for his hard work). Kenny’s relationship with Eric is at a low during this episode, Eric caring more about cats than his old BFF and Kenny now knowing that Eric won’t even make an emotionally dishonest attempt to be there for him. I would be interested to see how Kenny in specific felt about Eric facilitating the drug trade during TFBW considering his sobriety and the fact that Eric was never there for him through it. Butters and Stan just don’t stand out as particularly good or bad friends during this episode, they’re just sort of there and listening to Kyle’s instructions. 

However, it’s worth noting that when there were rumors about Kenny getting high in early seasons, Eric was a mentioned accomplice, which makes it even more interesting to think about how Kenny’s sobriety might have solidified the growing rift between the two. Perhaps they used to be the kind of friends who got high behind the gym together and now Kenny won’t and Eric thinks he’s a pussy with sand in his vagina. It’s just an interesting nugget of characterization to explore. How specifically did Kenny’s sobriety impact his relationship with Eric? It’s an engaging question I wish more fans would ask because I would love to see the potential answers and hypotheses’. It’s also worth noting that after Stan’s own struggles with sobriety and addiction in later seasons, it’s possible that Kenny could have become Stan’s sponsor or perhaps that the two of them connect over this unique struggle in their lives that their other friends wouldn’t have as complete an understanding of.

There’s a lot and a little to be said about Kenny and his relationship to his siblings. The clearest picture we get of his relationships with them is his obsessive protectiveness of Karen, even going so far as to deny her own wants and needs (as seen in the TFBW dlc) in order to protect her from all perceived danger. Even if the danger is as mundane as ‘being lame’. But to get a better idea of his relationship with his siblings, I’d like to start from the beginning.

Namely, before Karen even existed within the narrative. In the early seasons with Kevin and Kenny as the only two McCormick children, we see a passive and friendly relationship (a stark contrast to the Marsh family siblings). Kevin does nothing aggressive towards his brother and he is seen peacefully playing with Kenny as well. While this does not make it impossible that Kevin isn’t a friendly sibling, from the context we see him in for the early seasons, there’s no reason to assume he isn’t a kind older brother to Kenny.

Which brings us to the impossibility of Karen’s birth. As stated above, Kenny revives most frequently through rebirth and he dies far too frequently to allow Carol a successful pregnancy.  And we know that, to Kenny’s knowledge, he was the youngest McCormick child during the episode that confirmed he gives his mother miscarriages. He tried to give her a miscarriage before doing so on accident, hating the idea of having a younger sibling more than anything.

This is something that also lends to the idea that Kevin is a kind older sibling and that he is fond of his parents, regardless of their flaws. It’s explicit within the episode that Kenny doesn’t want a younger sibling because he doesn’t want to share that love. He wants Kevin to spoil him and his parents to spoil him and he doesn’t want to lose that to someone younger and cuter. Perhaps his attachment to being spoiled could be because he’s so relied upon by his friends as a protector that he is loath to lose the one type relationship he has in his life that places him as someone to be protected rather than doing the protecting. This is conjecture, but it would make sense with the characterization we’ve seen thus far.

But how did Karen come into being? The ongoing theory in fanon is that she was born during the year Kenny was dead and his friends replaced him but going through the aging timeline, it’s unlikely he was dead a full year (more likely only a few months) and even if the timeline matched up, Karen is six years old when she is first introduced, only 3 years younger than Kenny. Which means she had to have been born long before this incident. Another ongoing theory is that she’s adopted or a foster child, but those are relatively unlikely as well. The McCormick household has a fucking meth lab in the back yard. There is no adoption agency that is going to give them a child. And this theory ignores her clear resemblance to both Kevin and Stuart.

This is why I believe the most likely source of Karen is through a third party and Stuart. There are no adoption hoops to jump through if Stuart is her biological father and it explains the familial resemblance. It’s not difficult to believe Carol would accept her as her own due to how desperately she wanted another child.

As for how Karen was conceived, that’s up for interpretation. She could have been a product of infidelity or a case of someone else carrying her for the McCormick’s as Carol is effectively baron. I will say that Stuart’s infidelity is more likely purely because of the age. If they’d asked someone to carry Karen to term for them, Karen should have started living with them when Kenny was three and yet, she doesn’t join the family until the age of six. There could be a myriad of reasons for this that can be left entirely up to the interpretation of the viewer but the only logical way for Karen to exist as she does is that she is Kenny’s half sister.

When Karen showed up, Kenny clearly grew immediately attached and began to mature quickly. Taking part in less shenanigans, taking responsibility for her well-being, protecting her from bullies, playing with her in his free time. Kenny didn’t want to be an older brother but when push came to shove, he accepted the responsibility whole-heartedly and fully embraced his younger sister. Even more meaningfully, he didn’t care about whether or not she was fully blood related and treated her as a sister just the same. It’s possible one of the reasons he didn’t see any need for blood to create familial ties is growing up with Kyle and Ike nearby and knowing that it wasn’t blood that made them brothers. It’s also possible that he just has too much integrity to treat her as anything less than his baby sister.

One thing that should be noted about children Kenny’s age is modeling. Children, especially under the age of ten, are extremely susceptible to the behavior modeled for them. For example, children who have older siblings who mistreat them are far more likely to mistreat their own younger siblings. It’s a monkey-see, monkey-do time of life. Therefore I would like to present with this as my evidence that Kevin was just as kind and protective as Kenny is to Karen. He’s at an age where he models what he sees around him, treats others how he is treated. The other sibling relationships he’s close to is Kyle and Ike, which while loving took awhile and is significantly less overtly affectionate at times, and of course the Marsh siblings who have an overtly negative relationship until very recently in canon.

Meaning it’s possible he modeled how to treat a younger sibling after how Kyle treats Ike but it’s difficult to imagine him playing kick the baby with Karen. It’s more likely that he grew up with a protective older brother who spoiled him and he is now passing down the behavior that he received.

In short the McCormick siblings have a complicated but interesting relationship. There’s a lot to be said about how while Kenny was being conceived (with Stuart and Carol constantly getting high at a cult and subsequently arrested) that Kevin was only three years old and he wouldn’t have been able to fend for himself at this time. He might have attached onto Kenny so strongly out of loneliness over the severe neglect his parents subjected him to.

It’s worth mentioning that one place Kenny remains determined to indulge is with his hobbies, specifically with magic the gathering, his psp, and nascar. Kenny has for the majority of his characterization been defined by his hedonism. Doing what felt good, when it felt good. It’s why he has such a striking and intriguing character arc over the course of the series. Going from a pure hearted and selfless hedonist (an interesting combo in itself) into a more mature and more reserved individual who denies himself those simple easy pleasures (such as drugs).

But he still has a desire for escapism and so he pursues his hobbies with a passion and protective zeal that can be alarmingly violent. He doesn’t just love his hobbies and desire to indulge in them, but he also wants them to be respected and he despises a mockery being made of them. He doesn’t just enjoy them, he becomes masters at them. He pours all of his passion into being an amazing Magic player, into achieving the highest score in his favorite game, into murdering the one who mocked Nascar.

Wait, that last one doesn’t quite belong. We’re going to put a pin in that one for further exploration in the Cartman section, but it’s worth mentioning that his passion for that sport is so intense that he would be willing to commit murder. While the characters in South Park are outright murderous by nature, Kenny is one of the least homicidal in town (it’s a relative term) and as such, his turn to homicidal rage in defense of his hobby is notable.

He knows Cartman, he knows this is probably a phase and Cartman will get over it, if it was any other circumstance he’d probably be laughing his ass off at home that Cartman was making an idiot of himself on live TV and driving a vagisil car while eating the cream. It’s objectively hilarious and something that Kenny would normally have laughed at and moved on. He’s shown discomfort with Cartman’s escapades before but he’s never taken it so personally. Even when it was a direct attack against Kenny.

There is a part of Kenny that just can’t tolerate his hobbies being so openly mocked and made a sham of. Even during cock magic, he felt deeply uncomfortable with the spectacle the game he loved was turning into, doing everything he could in his limited capacity to continue to treat it seriously and play with integrity. Kenny loves his hobbies with a passion that we don’t see from him for much else.

One potential explanation for this is the emotional distance he has with other people that I alluded to before. He has a lot of love to give and a passionate personality but he dies. All the time. No one remembers, those that do only use his death for their own gain, and while he’s dead even his closest and dearest friends will attempt to replace him or actively resent him. People can replace him. People can betray him.

Playing cards? They have no autonomy. They can’t change after his death; they just wait for him in his room until his revival. Nascar? Sure, he might miss a few races but he can always catch up or just watch new content. Kenny has found an outlet for all the love that bubbles up inside of him that doesn’t rely on people who he’s learned to mistrust.

There is also something to be said about his addictive personality and it’s very possible that he uses his hobbies as a replacement for drugs. Indulging in healthier hobbies in an attempt to replace the ones he now views so negatively. A strong support of this theory is that before Kenny’s sobriety he was less passionate about hobbies and after his sobriety, he is clearly and consistently more obsessive about his hobbies. (further evidence of his continued sobriety, fucking fight me fanon. don’t even tell me you do it for the angst, a struggle for sobriety is way more angsty than a momentary high. ya’ll just want him to do drugs/alcohol because you do and you kin him.)

Kenny’s love for his hobbies is quickly becoming a defining trait but also it’s worth noting that his hobbies are social in nature. He didn’t pick up drawing or writing or origami, things he’s shown an interest for in early seasons, he picked up Magic and Gaming and Nascar, all three when indulged as hobbies are inherently social. You watch Nascar with people, you play Magic with people, especially in this day and age, you play videogames with people.

Even though he’s given up on connecting with people on a deeper level and puts a distance between himself and others, he still pursues hobbies that connect him to them. This indicates that he could still be trying to reach out to others and wants a deeper connection. But on his own terms. He doesn’t select hobbies that the others are already into to attract them to him, he’s pursuing hobbies he likes. Stubborn and selective boy. I haven’t listed all of his talents, skills, and hobbies here, mind you, just the ones relevant to my points (meaning I left out details about his passion for singing because that appears to be a natural talent and sports because he enjoys them but shows no real passion for them)

I’ve probably put off talking about his friendships for too long at this point but a part of me wanted to save this for last, as so much of what there is to say about his friendships with others is indicated in other segments. But the as this is an entirely unstructured attempt at explaining my thoughts and headcanons about Kenny McCormick, I don’t believe it matters the order I go in so here is an overview of his relationships with a few key individuals in his life.

We’re going to start with Kelly. Not because she’s the most influential or most important, but because her impact on his personality is striking in a way that I have to wonder why more people don’t address it. Prior to meeting Kelly he didn’t have as much resentment towards his friends over his condition and after meeting her, for reasons that will become obvious soon, the seeds of pain grow into something larger.

For those of you who are largely unfamiliar with her, she is Kenny’s first girlfriend. She developed an immediate attraction towards him and began to pursue him with a hesitant intensity. Kenny, as he does with most people who approach him so passionately, treats this with confusion and hesitance. She’s hyper logical, goes at her own pace, and treats the fact that Kenny would like her as a matter of course.

Her pursuit of Kenny isn’t what’s most notable but it is worth noting how he responds to someone pursuing him. It’s the confusion that strikes me the most, he’s not used to being treated like something special, and he doesn’t know how to reply. It’s a far cry from the smooth talking flirty Kenny of fanon. Kenny is far more likely to respond with hesitant interest, confusion, and eventual flustered flattery to a romantic pursuit based on how we’ve seen him respond in canon. This isn’t to say he couldn’t develop a more flirtatious personality with age, but it’s worth noting that within canon we don’t see a hint of that as of yet.

The impact that Kelly truly makes on Kenny’s personality isn’t a romantic one though. Although it is my belief that he will grow to view it and gestures like it as romantic ones in the future, but that’s a headcanon digression. Her contribution to his development is simple:

She saves his life.

While no one else would, no one else tried, no one else thought it was possible. It’s very likely that his friends all have a sense of subconscious learned helplessness in regards to Kenny’s death and therefore don’t fight it because, to them, it’s an inevitability and Kelly was only able to do this because she was not previously exposed to the multitude of Kenny deaths.

But the fact is that a person claimed to care about him, wanted to date him, and then when the worst thing about his life was going to happen again, she saved him. In this moment Kenny associated on some level caring about him to saving him. The fact that Kelly saved him meant she cared and by extension, the fact that no one else saves him or even holds him in his dying moments, means that they do not care about him.

Let’s return to that moment of lost empathy and sympathy when Stan was grieving Kyle’s illness. Perhaps on some level he’d just grown to understand that Stan wasn’t the sort to try helping his friends when they’re in mortal peril, made an exception that it’s not that Stan didn’t care, it’s just that Stan wasn’t the type to try saving another person’s life. Or grieve. Sure, it frames Stan as an awful person but to Kenny, Stan being an inherently cruel person was far less painful than the horrible knowledge that Stan did care. He just didn’t care about Kenny. In this moment he’s able to see the moment that Kelly saved him, because she cared about him, and all the moments that neither Stan nor his other friends even tried to save him. To add insult to injury, he dies right then and there and Stan still doesn’t care.

He’s left with the horrible implication that his worst fears about his friends are right. It’s not that they don’t remember because they can’t, it’s that they just don’t give a fuck about him. It’s terrifying, worse than even the prospect of a friend dying.

Which is another matter, as Kenny is semi-frequent in the underworld(s), it’s difficult for him to fully empathize with the idea of Kyle dying. Normally the terror of a loved one dying is that you’ll never see them again, but for Kenny it’s likely he’d still see Kyle every Tuesday. While he words to protect his friends and clearly loves his friends, when they’re lives are in peril like this, it’s sometimes difficult for him to empathize. He doesn’t want them to die but there’s a bitter part of him that’s unable to grieve if they do.

Kelly’s selfless and kind act, one that showed Kenny a moment of what it was like to feel loved, left such a terrible lasting impact that we can see seasons and seasons later. "ALL THE TIME! I die all the time! And you assholes NEVER remember!! Remember! Try and fucking remember!"

Now this can’t be entirely attributed to Kelly, obviously, but I think she’s an important contributing factor to his descent into bitterness that is entirely under-explored. And I also find the way he continues to pursue the relationship with her after she’s left back to her home state to be really telling about how loyal he is within a relationship. Even with his own financial and logistical issues in dating a person who lives so far away, he does his best to visit her whenever he can. She clearly meant a lot to him and it will forever taunt me that we never got an onscreen breakup. It’s also notable that he shows the same level of respectful loyalty to Tammy while dating her. This showcases a clear pattern of treating his significant others with kindness, patience, loyalty, and respect.

Now that I’ve spent ages talking about a girl most fans don’t even remember existed, let’s start in on Stan. Stan seems to hold a special importance to Kenny, it’s difficult to say exactly why (but I’m sure if I dig more I can find out) but moreso than Eric, Kyle, or Butters, Kenny seeks out Stan’s approval in one way or another. It’s very subtle, sort of a ‘blink and miss it’ thing but it can be blatant. The aforementioned moments regarding Kyle’s hospitalization and his own hospitalization. In more subtle moments, we can see Kenny gravitate towards Stan while Kyle and Cartman have their tiffs.

One possible explanation for his attachment to Stan is his horrified “oh my god, they killed Kenny!” frequently by the time Kyle has joined in with “you bastards!”, Kenny is already too dead to hear it. So it’s possible that he puts a lot of weight on their friendship because he views Stan as one of the few people who react to his death at all.

(I can’t help but wonder how gleeful Kenny must have felt that Stan chose his side during the Black Friday trilogy)

Regardless of the reason, Stan appears to be the one among them that Kenny has distanced himself the most from. He’s shown to be very compassionate in most situations but in later seasons when Stan is struggling, Kenny is frequently distant or unresponsive towards it. This seems to be mending in the most recent seasons, with episodes where it shows that they’re fond of one another but even then, there’s an undeniable rift. Despite being Stan’s friend for longer and what most would consider closer to him, during the band episode Stan interacted more with Butters and Jimmy than he did Kenny.

This is also possibly explained by Kenny’s under-explored shyness (something I don’t know if I’ll even get the chance to dig into because I’ve already been going on for so long and I’m barely through half of the things I want to talk about). But I believe that Kenny has put some emotional distance between himself and Stan due to the moments that led him to believe that Stan does not ‘care’. One example of this is during the Cthulhu trilogy, when he explodes in response to his friends questioning, he gets upset with Stan’s reactions but only explodes to Kyle’s, despite their questions being equally ‘offensive’. Perhaps he’s put up more emotional walls with Stan and he’s more prepared for him to be insensitive than he is with Kyle.

Kyle is a complicated relationship to define. On one hand they’ve both had moments of cool apathy towards one another (Kyle during ookie-mouth and Kenny during Cherokee Hair Tampons), although both of those situations are easily understood under the lens of the other stressors. Kyle claimed to “not care about Kenny” but it was only in response to being asked to spit in one another’s mouths. Kyle is a canonical germaphobe (in weirdly most regards other than poop, which he is strangely very comfortable with) and being asked to let someone else spit in your mouth would be trying even if you had no issue with germs. As for Kenny’s moment, as explained above, he was far more concerned with the implications of what it meant for his friendship with Stan at that moment. And not entirely unreasonably.

Kyle’s strange because despite not being Kenny’s closest friend by any stretch of the imagination, he’s been there for Kenny during most of his pivotal character moments in one capacity or another. In a way, Kyle is the one constant in his life. He holds Kenny as he dies in Wing, he stays by his side in Kenny Dies, he fights for his sobriety in Major Boobage, he invites him to become a Jew Scout in Jewbilee, helping him out in The Coon, there are weirdly numerous examples of their friendship and yet there is no explicit focus on it. It’s also worth noting that among all his friends, Kyle was the one Kenny chose to view the meteor shower with and this was during a time where he was still objectively closest to Cartman. And the same can be said for the Coon episode, Kyle was the one Kenny went to for help.

It’s difficult to define their relationship because while they have a strong pattern of a deep and supportive friendship, they also never even attempt to be one another’s ‘favorite’. Although Kyle does seem to be the most protective of Kenny among the main boys (this is of course only a relative, the bar is really low). For example, despite all the boys having lice in Licecapades, Kyle was the only one who came forward to save Kenny from the sock bath. It would take a whole other essay to fully dissect how their relationship works but to simplify it, it appears that they rely on one another.

During Jewbilee, Kyle has complete baseless faith that Kenny will save them. There’s no reason for this other than he just knows that Kenny will. Moses is captured, an all powerful figure, and Kyle still thinks his parka wearing little friend has got this covered. Conversely Kenny comes to Kyle when he needs help, like with Mysterion’s “You’re the smartest kid I know”. It’s just interesting how much they rely on one another and never make a big deal of it. Their friendship is based on an understated mutual trust.

Cartman on the other hand takes any and all trust, and throws it in the bin. If Kyle requires an essay to explain, Kenny’s relationship with Cartman needs a dissertation. That said, I’ll make an attempt to keep this short and to the point. Eric and Kenny do seem to at one point have shared a mutually beneficial friendship, with both of them liking Kyle and Stan more than they liked one another but still clinging to one another in a strange and desperate loneliness. One of the ways they bonded over the course of their friendship was a similar sense of humor. They both enjoyed crude and childish jokes more than either Kyle or Stan did and therefore they were able to indulge in them with one another. The trouble was that Eric had a malicious edge to his humor and Kenny did not. Eric was willing to take things farther than Kenny ever was, potentially purely to prove to the world that he would. A perfect microcosm of why this aspect of their friendship fell apart is found in How To Eat With Your Butt. They both found the ‘butt’ school picture to be hilarious in the beginning but when real people were looking for their son, Kenny dropped the joke immediately but Eric pushed further. These sorts of moments increased in frequency, leading Kenny to pity Eric above all else and Eric to both love and despise Kenny in equal measure.

Eric was still the person Kenny reached out to more than most people, like during Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, but the strain on their friendship began to show more and more and then… Kenny died. Eric knows about Kenny’s deaths, possibly the entire reason he spent all his time trying to make a clone Shakey’s rather than actually saving Kenny’s life. But more time passed between this death than any other and Eric, who has abandonment issues but that’s a whole can of beans to explain, decided he needed to replace Kenny. The trouble was his first attempt, Butters, wasn’t the same. Neither was his second attempt in Tweek. And while Butters did eventually replace Kenny as Cartman’s ‘best friend’, it still wasn’t the same. Eric had lost that friendship for good and still longing for a taste of it, he’ll often still seek out Kenny’s opinion on things. Kenny meanwhile came back to life (we’re going to skip over the sharing a body possession arc, not because it isn’t relevant but because it’s just WAY too much to cover in a short span of time) and found that his best and worst friend had replaced him. In some ways it was a relief, being Cartman’s number 1 friend (especially when Cartman clearly wanted Stan and Kyle’s approval more) was never a great role. But at the same time, being replaced is never a pleasant feeling and it really bloomed that horrible terror that had begun to grow with Kelly and Stan. His friends don’t actually love him, he’s replaceable, they don’t need him. He begins to close off more and more through this and starts to focus his attention on spiting Cartman in small ways (like as Mysterion). He can’t help but be a little resentful and a little uncomfortable.

This discomfort can also explain a lot of why Kenny appears so uncomfortable around Butters during Going Native, not wanting to be called Butters’ best friend and not wanting to go on the trip with him to begin with. Overall Kenny seems to veer from apathetic to Butters to uncomfortable with him. There’s no single scene in the show where he actually seems to show any affection towards Butters. He was forced to go on the trip during Going Native, he had to listen to Butters call Nascar ‘stupid’ endlessly with Cartman, and he just… doesn’t spend time with Butters. They’re seen in the background together, but so are Clyde and Kenny or Annie and Kenny. This isn’t to say Butters has had no impact on his life, but even when he’s on a trip to Hawaii with Butters, he spends his free time writing letters back to his friends or hanging out at a bar alone instead of spending it with Butters. Butters does seem to hold a certain level of affection for Kenny though, whether this is due to Cartman’s influence (the constant comparisons that put Kenny one pedestal as the ‘best’ kind of friend) or due to an actual affection for Kenny, that’s up for debate. I lean towards the former because it’s more consistent with Butters’ overall characterization and it also gives the progression of their relationship a… progression. In the latter interpretation Butters’ fondness for Kenny seems to spring from nowhere within the scenes we’re provided with. In the former, Butters’ fondness is based on his own insecurities and the significant trauma that Kyle, Stan, and Cartman put him through. There really isn’t anything worth dissecting with the Fun Times With Weapons incident, Kenny doesn’t appear to be particularly apologetic nor does he do anything to protect Butters from the hell that follows. Strangely Stan seems to be the most obsessed with getting Butters’ help, although in the most misguided ways possible. Furthermore, during the Cthulhu trilogy Butters is imprisoned and forced to eat his own poop to survive throughout the entirety of it and Kenny just… didn’t care at all. The initial imprisonment was clearly Cartman’s doing but even after Cartman was kicked out and Kenny assumed leadership, he made no effort to free or protect Butters. Whether this was out of resentment or apathy is left up to interpretation. Put plainly, Butters and Kenny do have a strange connection although that connecting piece appears to just be Cartman and without Eric, that bond is nearly nonexistent. (istg if i get another message calling me a bunny hater… guys, im not being mean or an anti, this isn’t about ships, this is about talking about how kenny actually feels and behaves towards other characters within canon. and no, kenny did not invite him to game night. it was very clearly a joke that no one invited him… that said, if someone did invite him, it’s more likely to have been kyle who invited him due to kyle’s response when butters first entered the house)

Kenny also has some interesting relationships with the secondary cast that is worth mentioning (Craig, Timmy, and Bradley in particular) but I’m not sure how long I’ve been typing for so we’ll put a pin in that.

Fuck, I had a lot more bulletpoints I wanted to get to in order to expand fully on his character and I haven’t even gotten to the ‘conclusions’ section but my fingers fucking hurt. Here are the bullet points I didn’t get to, if you’re really curious feel free to ask for more details on any of them:

Anger issues

Mischief

Wisdom and foolishness

Growth

Prostitution 

Sex

Parents

Work

Protective

Shyness / Quiet / timidity

Loyalty

Resentment

Hedonism

Pride and poverty

[mister-lady]

geez, i love your writing so much. water totally does have a taste tho. otherwise when you went to other places besides your house you wouldn't think that the water tasted weird there!!! which i'm now realizing might just be a me thing lol. anyway! if it's okay to send another prompt (i don't wanna overwork you!) then howa bout 9 with Remus cuz you said you didn't like him at first and the prompt says "forced to spend time together"!!!

*sobs* th-thANK yoUu!!!! And exactly!!!! Water has a taste!!!!! Janus doesn't agree tho smh. I definelty get that tho! One of my friends house that I go to I cant have their water cause it tastes funky to me dkkvkskg.

AAA ILLYYYY🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘❤💘❤❤❤💘❤💘❤💘❤❤❤🌟❤❤❤❤❤❤💘💘💘💘🌟🌟🌟🌟you're not overworking me at all!!!!!!!! I'm absolutely loving all of these thank you sososoo muchhh🥺🥺🥺🥺👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉😭👈👈😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺💘❤💕❤💕❤💕❤❤💕 this was super fun to do!!! Especially becuase I normally don't talk much about my enemies to lovers thing with Remus so it was kinda nice to almost project it onto here!!!🥰🥰🥰 Also sorry I got a little carried away while writing and it got a little off-topic from the prompt-

Prompt: A moves into a new apartment and wants to check out the closest dog park. Their dog loves it there, especially that one dog that seems to be there almost every time they go. With their dogs being madly in love with each other, A and the other owner, B, are forced to spend more time together as well

Warnings: strong curse words used a minor amount. Very small angst.

----------------------------

Matt had moved into an apartment, hoping to build up some money for a home. He was living the life though, being able to do things when he wanted, without people complaining at him. However, Matt had gotten a little lonely so he did the best solution! He got a pet. Now, Matt normally wasn't a fan of dogs, mainly ones that barked a lot, but when he had been searching through the animal shelter and found a very peaceful dog. It was maybe around 1 year old and it was a small poneramium. Normally small dogs barked a lot but this one was fairly quiet and Matt liked it for that. He named his dog Siskel. Since an apparment was a small place Matt had searched up local dog parks he could take his dog to and let it play for a bit and get some exercise. Matt was unbelievably happy when his dog had found another dog friend! He thought they were adorable together and seemed to get along so well too! What he hated was the rat-bastard that owned the dog. You know how theres the couple in movies that want be together but the parents hate eachother? It was essentially that for Matt, but it was one-sided. The other person seemed to find Matt amusing, even though Matt had often showed that he didn't care much for him. Sometimes Matt would feel bad for the way he treated the person, he never gave him a true chance. But then the person would say something that made Matt stop feeling as guilty. The downfall for Matt was that he had scheduled days that he could go to the park where he had free time so it's not like he could ignore the other guy either. Plus, he would feel bad for depriving his puppy of it's friend just because Matt had been salty.

Matt had currently been sitting on a bench at the dog park and was keeping a close eye on Siskel. He made sure to keep his dog on a leash incase it did go to do soemthing bad, he could pull it back, plus, he didn't have to worry about Siskel running off either. Matt could tell just by the way his dog acted, that it was impatiently waiting for it's friend to arrive. Matt was trying to take it's mind off of waiting for it's friend and was throwing a pinecone for his dog. He would use a toy but if another dog came up who knew wheres its mouth had been? Siskel knew not to fully bite on the pinecone, but it would still bark at it and pretend to play with it. Matt couldn't help but smile as he watched. Though, poor Matthew's smile didn't last for long as he felt the same ol' guy sit next to him. Matt knew a little information about him, like his name and such, but only because he had told him like Matt had asked.

"Hey, Maaattttt!!" He chimed.

"Hi, Remus" Matt huffed.

Matt watched as the dogs quickly ran up to eachother and played with a pinecone together. It was very wholesome. However Matt casted a confused glance towards Remus, not understanding why he was so silent.

"You're quiet." Matt commented, while raising an eyebrow.

"I am?" Remus asked, as if he wasn't aware of what Matt was talking about.

"Yeah, normally you're rambling on about something that happened to you, or about how you poisoned your enemies cake or soemthing." Matt soon regretted speaking up, as he watched a very amused smile grow across Remus's face.

Remus gave Matt a very tight hug, causing Matt to squeak from alarm. Matt couldn't help but notice now warm Remus had felt and he could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

"Wh-.. what?" Matt questioned.

"You do listen!!! I was always afraid you never listened to my stories!" Remus seemed to be bursting with excitement.

"Well, I mean I kinda have too, you tail me around against my will." Matt flatly pointed out.

"Pssshh, yeah cuase you don't like me. Totally"

"I hate you. And why are you still hugging me??"

Remus withdrew and let go of the hug. Matt could've sworn he thought Remus looked a little upset for a moment, but if he did it was quickly replaced by happiness.

"You knowwww... it took you a little while for you to tell me to stop hugging youuu" Remus teased.

"You're honestly the biggest idiot I know and it hurts to be around you."

"You can insult me all you want but it's not going to change the fact that you like my hugs!"

"You're a lunatic and burn down places. The last thing I want is your hugs."

"Is that why you let me hug you?"

"I didn't let you hug me! If I did I would've hugged back. But I didn't."

"You let me hug you and you listen to what I say? Mmmmm... I'm pretty sure you like me."

"I don't like you, I'm just that lonely."

"Most people that don't like me get a restraining order, so you must like me to some extent, right?" Remus gave Matt a puppy-eyed look.

Matt groaned in annoyance. "I just might if I have to sit here any longer."

"That's not a no~"

"And it's definitely not a yes."

"Well, it's not a no, so I'll take what I can get."

"You're a dunce."

"I still don't see why you hang out with me so much then."

"Hang?? Out?? I-? Me??- with yOu??-" Matt stumbled over his words in aghast. "Okay, I certainly don't, and would never, hang out with you, Remus. You come up to me. I deal with it because for some stupid reason my dog likes your dog, and I do what's good for my dog because I have a little bit of common sense."

Remus pouted at Matt's little tangent and crossed his arms. "Fine. I won't talk with you then. Maybe then you'll like me more."

Matt shook his head, "Why do you care so much for whether I like you or not?"

Remus only glared at him and didn't respond. Matt decided to take the opportunity of peace and quiet, however, as time started to pass, he felt like something was bugging him. Like he was itching to do soemthing and he didn't know what. Like something was...off. He gave Remus a curious glance, wondering if he had done something, but by the looks of it he was behaving like a decent human being. If that was the case, then what was bugging Matt?? He had gotten what he wished for, had he not? He subconsciously gave Remus an almost longing kind of look, and Remus met his gaze for a split second, only to look away. Matt couldn't help but fear a pang of hurt in his heart, only to be quickly filled with frustration at himself. Remus complete was the opposite of a normal, decent, and civilized person. All he did was annoy Matt, so why did Matt feel bad? He quickly answered his own question. Remus hadn't done anything bad directly towards Matt, and Matt had acted like a huge douche towards him for no reason. Matt felt his eyes water up a bit at the realization and quickly blinked it away. He felt terrible for the way he had acted.

"I'm sorry." Matt spoke, his voice cracking a little bit causing him to inwardly cringe.

Remus looked at him, but gave him a questioning look as if asking him to go on.

"I'm sorry for being a massive and terrible douche towards you. You hadn't done anything wrong, if anything, out of all the things you've told me about I should be lucky that you didn't do anything to me and I'm really, really, sorry and I know that doesn't really change anything but I completely understand if you don't forgive me, and honestly with the way I've treated you I probably don't deserve your forgiveness." Matt had gotten repeatedly choked up as he spoke and had to keep clearing his throat or blinking away the water in his eyes in a sad attempt to hide what he was feeling.

Remus eyes had widened in surprise. That was by far not what he had expected at all. He didn't expect too much of an appology especially from Matt, so the heart felt appology took him a few seconds to process.

"..Matt?" Remus spoke.

"Yea?"

"Can I hug you?"

Matt quickly nodded his head and felt his face twist as he felt a few tears go down his face agaisnt his will. He didn't realize all the weird feelings he had subconsciously bottled up, but as Remus tackled him into a hug, almost knocking him off the bench they had been sitting on, Matt couldn't help but sniffle a little bit. He felt the warmth from Remus engulf him again, and his mind drifted to how nice Remus's arms and hands had felt to be wrapped around him. Matt tried to calm down his sudden emotions and breathed a little more slowly, and slowly slithered his arms up and around Remus's back and rested his head on his shoulder.

"We never speak of this to anyone." Matt mumbled.

Remus giggled and nodded his head in agreement, causing Matt to laugh a little bit himself.

"I knew you always liked me a little bit." Remus teased.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Brave police j decker character review!! (1/5)

Alright you guys! Lets get to reviewing the BEST part of this show. The characters!(note, i will not include all villians, despite them meeting my criteria. Too many goddamn people, that honestly? We won't remember. Humans first, bots second, and any other creature last. Bots will have their alt modes.)

Humans!!;

Yuta Tomonaga!!;

Yuuta!! The boss of the brave police! While young,(about 9-10) Yuuta has more passion in his pinky finger than any of the adults on the show. Loving, caring, and determined, Yuuta has proven time and time again that hes a worthy leader, and an incredible friend. He's faced more than most kids his age should've honestly, and the nightmares and trauma needs to stop for him. He just needs ONE goddamn day with him hanging out with his friends and family, with plenty of good food.

Verdict:10/10. Hes adorable, and i wanna hug him and give him a golden sticker. Take him home, feed him and Deckerd.

Juuzo Saejima!!;

He. Is the most EXTRA bitch ever. Seriously, he's essentially a 12 year old in a 44 year old body. Constant upgrades for the team, constant new names and abilities. Hes an oddball, but despite this immaturity, he's a GOOD person. He listens to Yuuta and his opinions, and treats him as an adult, and treats the bots as humans. He deserves all he has, and honestly? Underrated character.

Verdict:9/10. Wish we had more background on him, but overall a character that i enjoyed seeing on the show. Take him home, be prepared for him to be SUPER extra.

Shunsuke Toudou!!;

SUCH. A surprising character. He made his one and only grand appearance in one episode, and i surprisingly??? Fell for the guy. He cares about the bots, and cars. He puts in effort, probably more than his entire team would. Even as a mechanic, this guy does more than his fair share of work fixing up the bots, physically mostly, but we've seen him do so emotionally as well.

Verdict:10/10. Hes the father we all need??? He GETS people. He knows what you're gonna say before you're even gonna say it, and buys you feel good snacks, and drives you around a few times while you talk to him. You've heard of mama bear, well this is papa bear. 10/10, take him home, talk to him about cars.

Seina Onoue!!;

(First of all. Yes I've been getting her name wrong this entire time. Im still putting her as 'Seina' and not 'Seia' for tag reasons)

My girl Seina! Gorgeous, headstrong, and and underestimated, sweet gal. Military lady, she's quite firm handed, but thanks to her boyfriend, McCrane, she's learned more about being human and embracing life. For someone who specializes in Japan's offensive branch, she's surprisingly shy and self conscious. Its sweet, in a way.

Verdict:9/10. She's a sweetie! She cares, an fights for whats right. Plus, she's a total historical figure, being one of the first few women who smooched a bot! She demands respect, and damn does she have it.

Ayako Kimizuka!!;

Our fellow reporter lady! (And Seina's best friend)She's the person who sinks her head deep into the news sand, fully commiting herself to her reporting. She dives in headfirst so strongly and quickly, the rest of the world melts away. A bit abrasive, but i grew to like her, and I've approved her to date my boy, Dumpson.

Verdict:9/10. Shes cute, flighty, and honestly cares about Dumpson! She teases him often, and i appreciate it. Plus...she's kinda gorgeous, honestly.

Regina Argine!!;

Me and her got off on the wrong foot. She treated bots, her own Duke included, as mere tools, to be molded perfectly into whatever was requested of them. However, upon almost losing Duke and meeting Yuuta, she learned. She had basically mentally abused Duke, and she can't un do. She can however, grow and try to make amends. She is now highly favored amongst the team, and no longer has this strong sense of entitlement. Most importantly, her past is no longer hurting her. And she's had such an impressive change, honestly. Duke cares about her immensely, and now? I do too.

Verdict:9/10. She's adorable, and now i absolutely adore her whenever i see her. She's just a delight to have around, honestly.

Azuki Tomonaga!!;

Yuuta's older sister!(who i just learned is 16) despite being the eldest, she doesn't behave as though she has the authority. Timid, a bit flighty, and incredibly sweet, Azuki is honestly just a cinnamon roll. I adores her the second i saw her, and i want whats best for her. She's essentially considered Shadowmaru's best friend (though my boy wanted to go to the pound, we all know what i mean), and although doesn't get many opportunities, shes a surprising emotional support, and a wonderful caretaker.

Verdict:9/10. An absolute bun! She'd absolutely make a nice, cinnamon cake for her neighbors, just because. Take her home, she'd just absolutely love to cook for you and your folks.

Kurumi Tomonaga!!;

The second eldest of the Tomonaga family! Shes adorable, albiet a bit abrasive and gossipy. Towards the end, she was considered friends of Shadowmaru, along with her sister, but honestly? She...kinda doesn't do much in this series. We wouldn't lose much having her leave, but i liked her personality, and shes pretty relatable.

Verdict:7/10. She...didn't really do anything in the series, plot wise. She was more of an extra. She worked, but really, she wasn't that important of a character.

Eva Farhzeug!!;

I know i said i wasn't going to include every villian. But i AM including her, mainly because i like the whole 'some other force was in control of shit getting messed up, and is now controlling everyone in a giant ass ship, and is a mixture of hot and creepy ' trope. I found her interesting, and honestly? Led to an ending that i didn't expect. She had a good villian motivation, was visually appealing, and had quite the surprising tie to the plot. I mean, the mother of all robotics??? No way you could've seen that coming in the first watch.

Verdict:8/10. She was good plot wise, but not an overwhelming character. I just wanted to point out that i liked the role she played. Don't take her home. Bitch is NUTS.

Emily, Kikjmaro, and Masaki!!(right to left;

These three are essentially labeled as Yuuta'd and Power joe's best friends. Id give them their own spots, but honestly? They're almost always together anyway. Emily is essentially kinda spoiled and whiney, and honestly? An itty bitty bitch. But shes cute, and she cares. Sometimes. Kikjamaro is the smart guy, basically, acting as the more level headed and reasonable of the group. Masaki is the dumbass. He's got anger issues, and is prone to being pretty fucking annoying. This group by themselves are honestly useless. But i fucking LOVE them when they're with Power joe. They think hes the shit, and hes DAMN right.

Verdict:7/10. This is PURELY because we have one thing in common. They love Power joe. Unless Power joe is with them, id kick them out tbh.