#its always the action of a few people being generalised to the whole community

[spoonietimelordy]

Aren't y'all tired of inter-community fightings? Seriously, when will queer people online stop fighting over the stupidest things.

[thesethingsofours]

Parents are the Worst.

I recently began listening to Nice White Parents, a new podcast hosted by self-confessed nice white parent, Channa Joffe-Walt. It’s produced by the people in and around Serial, This American Life, S-Town and The New York Times. If you are familiar with those titles, you’ll know what to expect – in-depth, considered analysis of a heretofore, under-exposed social issue, executed with an East Coast progressive liberal stride; a pleasingly audible, irreverent gait and the swagger of emotional intelligence and self-aware humility. Through research, interviews and attaching herself to the Brooklyn School of International Studies for several years, Joffe-Walt tells the story of the New York Public school system and its apparent failure to meaningfully integrate itself since Brown v Board of Education made racial segregation illegal over 65 years ago.

In episode 2, Joffe-Walt tracks down and interviews some nice white parents from around the time the school opened in 1963. These people had written letters encouraging the school board to erect the school building closer to their own neighbourhood (and consequently further away from the darker-skinned families it was more likely to serve). They expressively emphasised their wishes to send their kids there and virtuously aid the process of integration, which they believed to be morally imperative.

But apparently, none of these letter writers subsequently sent their kids to that school. It remained, as anticipated, a predominantly non-white school. Laid alongside the tense machinations of the contemporary school’s invasion by a large new cohort of white parents and their issue, Joffe-Walt’s hypothesis is that white parents have always held liberal aims, and the clout to impose them, but do so with little consideration for their non-white counterparts or any real commitment to seeing through the incumbent practicalities. From the outset, this natural conclusion is persistently hinted at, not least from the podcast’s deliberately provocative title. Perhaps, on an individual level, this hypothesis contains some truth.

However, as the story extends, the blame gains weight and the theory mutates into a generalised accusation. Responsibility for the mediocre state of New York’s (and by implication, America’s) public schools is explicitly laid at the pale feet of white parents. It's an exposition of what is often described as “White Guilt” and its corresponding effort at contrition (i.e. the guilt felt from the inherited sin of one’s ancestors’ oppression of non-white people, primarily through slavery). While White Guilt might have its conceptual uses for a few people to come to terms with idea of race (although even there I am sceptical), its value as a wider social narrative is deeply unconvincing, and potentially damaging. Nice White Parents does a good job showing why.

In the podcast, anecdotal evidence is drastically extrapolated to justify White Guilt. Unless backed up by unequivocal data, it is inherently flawed to base so much on interviews with a handful of people in their 80s about a letter they wrote in the 60s, and (in episode 3) a now middle-aged woman about her perception of school when she was 13. Equally so is to use the example of a single New York school to imply that nice white parents are universally responsible for all the failings of American public schooling. A quick empirical comparison with countries unburdened by America’s racial psychosis would almost certainly reveal this argument to be fundamentally false. I hazard to suggest that Joffe-Walt set out, either consciously or subconsciously, to prove the theory of Nice White Parents, and has therefore fallen into the trap of verification bias.  

Of course, the truth is likely to be far simpler – green, cheddar, dead presidents and moolah (which middle-aged white people in American disproportionately possess). Better schools arrive from broad, deep and perpetual community investment – from good, affordable housing and well-paying jobs to well-paid teachers and decent facilities. That means higher taxes on the wealthy and better provincial management. If a completely non-white school district received $50 billion to invest in their community with educational improvement as its ultimate goal (that or the abolition of private schools), I suspect the idea of nice white parents would quickly evaporate.

It is plainly a damaging distraction to focus on the role of supposed-predisposed-racism of well-meaning, middle-class people, who simply want the best possible education for their children. Instead, the message for the “hereby accused” should be to use their numerical majority and voting power to advocate for systems that would reduce inequality, regardless of race. In this respect, it strikes me that wealth is a sacrosanct subject in America, something that one can never apologise for having too much of. Quite the opposite – the culture is built on celebrating those who hoard capital. Is it possible that Americans are taught never to apologise for having money, so those who see something wrong develop other issues, such as race, for which they can atone?

More deeply, the podcast reveals how the White Guilt narrative is in ideological conflict with the very wrong it is supposedly trying to right. Taken to its conclusion, it inevitably reinforces the idea that white people are innately superior, and race is the primary determining factor for success in American life. In the context of the podcast, it is applied to suggest that New York public schools are destined to fail their students unless white kids and their parents get involved. It is gloriously ironic that condemning the influence of white parents on public schools serves to reinforce the supposed inferiority of non-white participants in the education system… because of their lack of whiteness. At the end of episode 3, Jaffe-Walt lays this out:

Nice white parents shape public schools even in our absence, because public schools are maniacally loyal to white families even when that loyalty is rarely returned back to the public schools. Just the very idea of us, the threat of our displeasure, warps the whole system. So “separate” is still not equal because the power sits with white parents no matter where we are in the system. I think the only way you equalise schools is by recognising this fact and trying wherever possible to suppress the power of white parents. Since no one is forcing us to give up power we white parents are going to have to do it voluntarily, which, yeah how's that going to happen? That's next time on Nice White Parents…

(Consider replacing every mention of “white” in this excerpt with “affluent”. Would that not feel infinitely more true?)

In fairness, the honourable, “anti-racist” intention is clear – in order to defeat “white supremacy” white people need to accept their inherited and systemic superiority and eliminate it. Sadly, any idea centred around race – whether malicious or well-intentioned – is bound to collapse under even the slightest pressure. To be truly anti-racist is to recognise that race itself doesn’t exist (other than as an abstract concept that, having infected people’s perceptions after four centuries of concerted, localised propaganda, must be eradicated). Race has no basis in science or nature; it cannot be quantified in any reasonable, measurable way. Simply, it is a lie; invented to excuse the exploitation of others for the purposes of wealth-generation. To base one’s actions on it in any way is to take a leap of faith into a void with no landing. Race is a malignant, empty God; belief in which is destined to lead to malignant, empty behaviour. “Racism” and “Anti-Racism” (as it is currently understood) are therefore both empty, malignant religions, practiced in service of a non-existent deity.

Notably, there are still two episodes to go (released August 13th and 20th). Either might serve to recover some balance. But by episode 3, the stage is not only set for this conclusion to be drawn, but the 1st Grade nativity is in its final scene and the wise men are long since gone.

All that said, if you let the incessant racialization of all things drift past you rather than choking on it, as plain entertainment – storytelling rather than journalism – it’s still an engaging listen; well-constructed and convincingly told. Furthermore, on a non-racial level (if you can somehow listen beyond it), the podcast does have some value, since it reminds me of something I have long half-joked about – that parents (of all stripes) are the worst.

Aside from the obvious, complex Freudian reasons, on a socio-political level, when a choice arises between a laudable, achievable change and putting one’s own children at a perceived disadvantage in order to effect it, a parent will choose its child’s advantage almost every time. No matter their colour, few parents will sacrifice their own child’s prospects – even minutely – to advance the hypothetical children of someone else, or society more widely. Parents are company directors whose primary obligation is to their miniature, genetically-derivative shareholders – they’ll only vote for large-scale change if it is net-profitable or government-imposed.

And of course, parents should pay their kids the maximum dividend. Who else will? A parent is legally and morally obliged to do the best for the young life they are charged with defending. And therein lies the joke. Parents are the worst only because they are ubiquitous. They created you, me and everyone else. We all had them, and most people end up being one. It is therefore less of a criticism than an inevitable, evolutionary truth – just one we should probably be more honest and upfront about. Unknowingly, underneath (and in some ways, because of) its misguided, exhausting racial handwringing, Nice White Parents just about makes this point.

Listen to Nice White Parents here or wherever you get your podcasts.

[222258-ihiwehi]

A third of NZ university students are sexually assaulted, a study suggests

A third of NZ university students are sexually assaulted, a study suggests

Stuff Article

The moment Tess laid eyes on Victoria University, she knew she was looking at her future.

"I was so excited," she says, now. "I'd visited with my mum for the open day, I saw the law building and thought I just wanted to study there, it just called to me. I was also terrified – my whole family dropped me off, and my mum cried the whole way home.

"I was so ready to be like an adult, and live a new life in Wellington."

Her stomach a tangle of nervous knots, Tess worried about her classes, and making friends.

She didn't envisage the incident a few months later, when a young man would attempt to rape her at her university hostel, Weir House.

She didn't consider the self-blame and doubt that would creep in whenever she thought about the sexual assault.

And, really, something like that? To be honest, she just didn't think it would happen to her.

For the thousands of high school students who pack their bags for tertiary study each year, and their parents, sexual violence is unlikely to be top of mind. But new research suggests it should be.

Preliminary results from the biggest New Zealand study into the prevalence of sexual victimisation at university suggests one in three students will be sexually assaulted while they are studying.

The perpetrator will most likely be a young male student, who will assault his victim while they are drunk, asleep, or otherwise incapacitated.

The research involved 2700 students at a New Zealand university, who were asked if they had a non-consensual sexual experience. The survey was sent to all students at the university and participants chose to be involved.

More than a third, or 36 per cent of total respondents, said they had experienced some form of sexual assault, from being groped or made to remove clothes, perform oral sex, or forced digital, anal, or vaginal penetration. Broken down by gender, 41 per cent of women reported assault, and 22 per cent of men.

When it came to assailants, 88 per cent of reported perpetrators were men and 17 per cent women. (Students sometimes reported more than one incident.) Two-thirds of participants were assaulted by students from the same university.

Otago University PhD student Kayla Stewart used the academic Sexual Experiences Survey tool to assess the students, collating the data alongside dozens of one-on-one interviews. She says the results show sexual assault is a widespread issue universities have an obligation to tackle.

The most widely-used statistics in the United States suggest one in five university women are sexually assaulted. Stewart's research suggests that in New Zealand, the chance of a woman being forced into a sex act at university is more than one in three.

Prevalence studies must be interpreted cautiously, and results can not always be generalised. But they provide valuable insights into the commonality of assault, including intoxication and the nature of perpetrators.

"There needs to be acknowledgment that this is an issue, because for too long it's been hidden or universities have failed to acknowledge it," Stewart says.

"I really want to bring attention to what perpetrators are doing, and shift the focus to their actions. The most commonly used tactic is altered consciousness, through alcohol or drugs or sleep. Perpetrators sexually assaulted one in four people this way, taking advantage when they were drunk or out of it."

The fact so many assailants also attended university showed it was a community problem. "There's such a culture of entitlement, and we have to tackle that. On the one hand it is a societal problem, but it's also a university problem."

'IT WAS JUST PAR FOR THE COURSE, I GUESS'

Tess used to tell this like a joke.

It was first year, and Tess and her friend were out at a bar. They started chatting to a guy who began to get "uncomfortably grabby," before Tess decided she wanted to leave.

The friend brought the man back to their university hostel. Both women were drunk. Tess left her friend's dorm room, but not before giving her a lifeline.

"I told her I was going to bed but I would leave the door open for her if she wanted to come and stay in my room."

Instead, the man later entered Tess's room. "I was asleep at that point and he came and got into my bed and was like, insistent. I kept on falling asleep and waking back up and trying to say no. I was trying to say 'no, you don't have a condom,' just trying to justify the no, I guess. I just didn't know what to do."

Tess eventually got the man to leave, telling him she had an early lecture.

She didn't report the attempted rape, out of fear people would find out it was her. She felt ashamed, like she might be labelled a slut. Around the same time, she said another friend did report a sexual assault to hall management and was dismissed and told to "get over it."

(Victoria University say all halls of residence staff are now trained in how to respond to disclosures of sexually harmful behaviours, taking a confidential, survivor-led approach. This includes access to counselling and support to make formal complaints.)

It also didn't seem too out of the ordinary. "It was just par for the course I guess, and that sounds horrible, but I knew other girls in halls who had very similar experiences. It seems to be something that happens in that part of girl's lives."

It was only last year, when conversations about sexual violence were brought to the forefront with Me Too movement – and locally, with the sexual misconduct exposed at the Russell McVeagh law firm – that Tess realised what happened to her was not funny.

"Now it just makes me really sad. It was so horrible. Alcohol is such a huge part of first year culture, it's how you bond. I feel like a lot of guys – and girls – aren't taught what healthy sex is meant to be like. No-one has a frame of reference.

"You're taking a bunch of kids that maybe haven't had sex or the freedom to have it as frequently and they just don't know what good sex looks like, how to communicate and how to read someone else's communication."

Tess has never told her parents. "I think for my dad in particular it would torture him to think about. I could tell my family, but you don't really want to open things up because there was nothing they could have done.

"By the time I was ready to acknowledge it and talk, I had a support network of friends."

Other young women spoken to by Stuff who were victims of sexual assault at university struggled with self-blame, and had often tried to internally dismiss or downplay the event so they could continue with their lives and studies.

One woman, who was raped while a student at an Auckland University, only felt strong enough to lay a complaint with police years later. It is currently being investigated.

Others do complain, but hit brick walls. A PhD student at a North Island university told Stuff she has reported a sexual assault by a fellow student to police. It was so violent she had to be hospitalised.

She told the university, who she says told her they can do nothing until he is charged. In the meantime, she is not attending university for fear of seeing him on campus. He still goes to class every day.

A Stuff investigation in 2018 found dozens of alleged sexual misconduct complaints recorded by staff at university halls of residence nationwide in the past two years – only a handful of which were reported to police.

And in April, Otago's Knox College faced questions about its cultureafter several sexual assault, rape and harassment claims between 2011 and 2017 were revealed in student magazine Critic.

WHAT IS BEING DONE?

There are no nationwide guidelines or legislation around sexual misconduct protocol.

Universities New Zealand, the umbrella body, says it has established a working group into sexual violence, which involves representatives from all universities and two students.

In the meantime, students are mobilising to put pressure on university management to act. New Zealand University Students' Association rape prevention campaign Thursdays in Black, mired in a sexual harassment scandal of its own in mid-2018, has been re-established and is pushing for comprehensive misconduct policies.

It conducted a nationwide survey on sexual violence in 2017, with more than half of respondents saying they had experienced some form of it.

At Otago University, Students Against Sexual Violence has been leading this drive. Co-president Niall Campbell, 23, says Stewart's research does not come as a shock. "All of our members know multiple people who have been effected by sexual violence. There's no doubt in our minds it's an issue.

"It's an unfortunate combination of students who are actually quite young, and who have been inadequately educated around sex and sexuality. Contrary to popular belief, we are not the progressive nation we'd like ourselves to be."

A 2018 Education Review Office report found sex education has not improved in a decade, with a lack of education around consent, pornography and sexual violence.

This isn't helped by a culture of chauvinism, hyper-masculity and sexual conquest, particularly in first year, Campbell says.

Stuff asked all universities if they considered sexual violence prevention a university responsibility, and to advise on initiatives. Most pointed to their student code of conduct and discipline regulations. None would provide details of how much was spent annually.

When it came to specific action, Waikato University said it has appointed a violence prevention coordinator this year and begun providing training on sexual violence and healthy relationships for hall staff and students.

Auckland University said students are given information on family violence at orientation and have access to "comprehensive online material."

Auckland University of Technology ran an online preventing bullying and harassment programme and had launched a course, Consent Matters, at the cost of $16,000.

Massey University said its hall staff members were given training on victimisation, and it had a sexual assault pastoral care team.

Victoria University was developing a standalone sexual violence prevention policy, had a Sexual Harm Prevention working group, had appointed a new sexual harm counsellor and was increasing training for staff on dealing with disclosures.

The University of Canterbury said it had set up an End Sexual Violence Now working group, and gave new students an induction that included sexual violence awareness. Complaints could be made through online anonymous tool Report It.

Otago University opened Te Whare Tāwharau, a sexual violence support centre, last year. A sexual misconduct policy has been completed and a sexual misconduct action response team set up to oversee processes and investigations.

This is promising, Campbell says, but it's easy to point to documents. His group wants outcomes.

"Until very recently, almost nothing was done about the issue. And it's still early days - whether these policies end up being substantial and actually work is the question."

And others think action needs to be nationwide, rather left to each university. In the United States, Title IX is a federal law which makes universities accountable for disciplining perpetrators and supporting victims. There is no such legal requirement in New Zealand.

Lily Kay Ross is a sexual violence researcher and workplace consultant on sexual harassment procedures, and was a consultant on Otago's policy.

She is advocating for the establishment of an independent body to conduct investigations. It should be neutral, and have staff trained in the dynamics of sexual violence. Data and outcomes should be publicly reported.

"This is how universities can achieve accountability to the public and rebuild trust," Kay Ross says. "It signals that the cases we already know are happening are being responded to appropriately."

Victoria University student president Tamatha Paul says nationwide standards – enforceable by law if necessary – would be welcome. "Yes, it's awesome universities are starting to get these policies, but what about polytechs and other training establishments? What about what goes on at halls of residence?

"There needs to be a consistent policy covering every space that a student occupies."

WALKING THE TALK

On a leafy Friday at Auckland University, students stream through the campus. It's almost the weekend, and there are parties to organise, gigs to attend.

Life goes on. And, instead of waiting for change from above, many are working to initiate it themselves.

Students Gabriella Brayne, 19, and Ollin Raynaud, 25, are co-ordinators and founders of the Consent Club, which aims to normalise consent culture.

The group train volunteers to become "consent guardians," teaching them techniques in non-confrontational bystander intervention. The guardians attend festivals and events, stepping in to diffuse situations where it looks like a "consent breach" could be occurring.

This might involve offering a drunk young woman help finding her friends, or dancing alongside someone who is being cornered on the dance floor to give them an out.

In their view, the problem isn't so much that young men don't know what consent is - it's that they think they can get away with it, Brayne says.

"In the moment they still go ahead with the assault because there's a situation that can be exploited."

Having active bystanders who will intervene reinforces the idea that you can't get away with these acts. "We're like their sober mates, who will step in.

"We just want people to feel safe."