#its always about him. it cant ever not be about him and even now that we're seperated i still fukcing
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thepitlanepress · 3 days ago
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NEVER TOO BUSY FOR YOU –
↳ oscar piastri + gf!reader
⌗ :: masterlist
⌗ :: a/n: i like to think im the sweetest person alive so this is written for my girl nadsies while she isnt having the greatest day ever. just a short lil fic bc im working on the smau pt2 and some other ones ;)
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you dont like bothering oscar when he's at work. its a weird thing you have, one that oscar's tried getting out of your head on more than one occasion. does it stick? no.
the cramps you had been feeling for the entire day had made it almost impossible to move, so you weren't exactly able to reach your phone to tell oscar either.
that is a fact you use in a later argument. which by the way doesn't work.
so when the door to your apartment swings open and you hear your boyfriend's voice, you nearly flat out start crying. its so nice to hear a comforting sound.
"sweetheart?" oscar calls out for a second time when you don't reply, even talking feels like too much right now. you hear some shuffling around and then the soft footsteps as he walks down the hallway.
"hey, baby," he murmurs when he enters the room, coming to sit next to you on the edge of the bed. his hand comes to rest on your back rubbing slowly through the duvet. "how are you feeling?"
a noncommittal grunt escapes you and you wince in pain as another wave of cramps hit you like a train. fuck periods actually.
oscar sensing your situation quickly, he gets up and places a quick but soft kiss to your forehead before walking back out to the kitchen promising to be back soon. you stay awake for a little while but eventually the sounds of him moving around, and the soft clinking of dishes quickly puts you to sleep.
it was a comfort knowing someone else was home with you.
some time later you feel a dip in the bed beside you, two arms wrap around your waist and pull you into their warmth.
"hey you," you whisper.
"hey you," he whispers back his hand drawing circles on your skin. "are you feeling better after that nap?"
"sort of," you sigh. "mainly im-"
"hungry?" oscar guesses, you can hear the smile in his voice and you slowly sit up, cautiously testing different positions before finding one that doesn't make you feel like you've been shot.
you look over at oscar who has turned away bringing a tray of snacks over from the bedside table. it has all your favourite snacks, chocolates, your phone and a warm cup of tea.
"i called mum, while you were asleep earlier," he said almost nervously. "and asked her what type of tea to use because i was worried and wanted to help and she said to use-"
you shut him up by placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth "its perfect thank you osc," you settle back against the pillows - and him, okay mostly him. his arms are wrapped around you as you soak in the quiet afternoon, the soft sound of the show you had playing on your computer earlier the only noise in the room.
"why didn't you call me?" his voice rumbles through you.
"i didn't want to bother you while you were at work," you look down to the cup of tea in your hands and realise now that you probably won't be winning this conversation. there is no one who cared more about you than the man currently wrapped around you. he would drop anything in a second for you.
hence why you didn't call him. he cant be distracted from work. its so important to you.
but he won't take that as an answer.
"you know i always have time for you, sweetheart, i'm never too busy for you. you're my number one priority. always."
the cramps didn't seem so bad after that.
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2025 © thepitlanepress | please do not steal, use, translate or repost any of my works
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bunnieswithknives · 5 months ago
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OK JUST A LITTLE THING BECAUSE IM INSANE @cubbihue
Song: Plastic by Cheekface
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dykedvonte · 3 months ago
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I like to think in the P.E au that Anya and Curly specifically get haunted hard by Jimmy's weird reality crossing guilt manifested.
It's targeting them because Jimmy's guilt grows more around them. The idea of him acting and playing nice despite what he did. It's like a buffet that allows it to pick from their plates.
Anya sees this stagnant version of her, blood from her mouth, clutching her stomach with a bottle of pills in her other hand. She's talking about not being heard, a pixel, relief from a burden. She tries to ask a question and it's never the right one. She's not understanding but in a way, she's getting that this version of her is in pain. She tries to help, extends a hand and asks how she can help, stop it. She stares and there's utter despair and disappointment in her eyes.
What did you do?
Curly sees this burnt mangled thing. But he can't call it that. Even with no skin and chipping teeth, covered in sullied bandages and smelling of death overdue, he can see his face. He can recognized that eye, he stares at it a lot in the mirror, usually a second one is attached but he digresses. They are just watching, staring and unmoving. He asks himself what happened, how can he help and his own retched mangled voice comes out from a empty maw.
I told you.
They have no idea what it really means. They don't know who to tell. Flashes of a life they don't know or maybe a future they haven't lived yet. Perhaps they treat it as their own minds trying to tell them something. They bare that burden themselves and that alone makes it heavier. Plumper. More appetizing to the guilt causing it.
Tragically that guilt is not their own.
#refining the au and the crew cant see the entity always but pretty much its always felt sort of like a mind over matter debacle#it is like the code scanner sections where only jimmy sees it but it can kinda interact with things to an extent like a force of negative#energy jimmy cant just outright tell them cause theyll just think he's insane but he can't ignore it cause he can't ignore the guilt anymor#anya and curly are its biggest targets as it is relatively easy for him to rectify the issues with Swansea and Daisuke vs the internalized#problems he has with Anya and Curly and its sort of about him no longer becoming that person he was in that future cause its the same#timeline but like divergence he was sent back with something awful and the story is less about forgiveness and more about repenting#hes still weird and an asshole he is being tormented but no one else gets seriously hurt so bittersweet#its like a fix-it but like imagine getting put into a perfect world with all the knowledge of ur fuck ups and now being haunted by the#guilt you will do the same shit again because you already have and having to prove you arent that person but then you also prove you didnt#ever have to be that person so you damn yourself even more like this doesn't end happy for Jimmy like ill tell you that but he'll actually#learn something so yeah thats somethting but everyone is still a little worse after this but can move on happily#the demons are tormenting each other by blaming them for Jimmy's actions invertedly cause while its not her fault anya in the reg timeline#def wondered if she stayed silent if this all wouldve happened even though it really isnt her fault and Curly knew deep down how bad Jimmy#was how bad he was to him and he likely told himself Jimmy would be the end of him and a lot of other but was so beaten down he couldnt go#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#jimmy mouthwashing#pe au#thinking of calling it pestilent equine au? that sound good? we like P.E is just the short funny name for it?
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faunandfloraas · 5 months ago
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"Seungmin would be SO hot if he got muscle like, can you imagine?" You would be hotter if you shut your mouth but we can't always get what we want so <3
#the amount of times ive seen this exact comment or sentiment over the past 6ish months in particular#truly pissing me off <3#like first things first- hes already handsome so if you dont see that... its fine. we all have different tastes but also be quiet <3#but like we know first hand from him that he isnt particularly interested in the gym and working out#hes not a changbin. its not his thing- he goes to keep up stamina for live shows#and the fact hes been very specific in saying so any time anyone mentions him working out and going to the gym is so like......#its kinda obvious that hes doing a polite 'please dont hassle me about getting bigger' so he makes sure to always go Its For Endurance#and yet i still see this and also. um theres other members who are muscley so why does seungmin also have to follow that route?#like if you want muscle theres people you can go look at... but also half these people cant even identify actual healthy muscle#vs. someone being so skinny that they have no fat on them and somehow think thats real muscle so like lol#its been so specifically the past half a year tho like whats that about why#its really one of those be quiet im so tired#well on the otherhand i was so stressed about my doctors appointment but now annoyance took the worries place so 🤷‍♀️#like its funny how X should lose weight comments are recognised for being shitty but the 'x should totally change his physique' is chill tho#like if seungmin organically of his own accord ever becomes a muscle bro bc /he/ wants that than for sure i'll be like Woo go seungmin !!#but only if he wants it. not the fans being annoying not bc of staff or beauty standards not bc of the other guys
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skunkes · 8 months ago
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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sluckythewizard · 10 months ago
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BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary
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"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.
Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.
One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.
Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.
The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.
Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?
A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.
But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.
As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.
The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.
Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.
"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.
"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.
But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.
"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.
"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."
Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.
"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?
Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...
"Hey, are you okay?"
The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.
"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.
But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?
The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.
The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.
"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"
"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.
The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.
It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.
Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.
Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"
Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.
"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"
"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.
"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.
"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."
"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.
While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.
"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.
The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.
The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.
A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.
That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.
The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.
Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.
It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.
It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.
Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?
The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.
"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.
Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.
Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.
He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.
Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.
A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.
It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.
Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.
Like a mouse to a snake.
This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.
The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?
Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.
His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.
A STARTLING RINGING;
Splits the moment,
Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,
As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.
Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.
"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"
Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.
Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.
"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"
Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.
"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.
Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .
As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.
The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.
"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.
"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."
The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.
"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."
"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.
He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.
#NO TAGS ON THIS ONE BC WELL. IM SHY. IM TAKING A BIG LEAP JUST BY ALLOWING U TO REBLOG THIS. IF IT BREAKS CONTAINMENT THATS UR FAULT.#i unfortunately suffer from the disease of 'i hate everything i write the day after i write it' BUT IM GETTING TREATED#I WILL NOT BE HAUNTED BY THIS WEAKNESS FOREVER. AND HEY LOOK THIS IS THE FIRST ACTUAL FIC BIT IVE EVER FINISHED..#ITS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!! AND BY JOBE I WILL BE PROUD EVEN IF I HATE IT.#i dont always need to be the one who likes my art bc i know Someone out there will always enjoy it.#and to that someone i say: omg thankyou i LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU!!!!!#JUST DELETED A WHOLE RAMBLE I JUST HAD ABT NERVOUS DISCLAIMERS FOR MY ART BUT I DONT NEED EM!!#GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT. ANYWAY. so emizel and soda huh#THEYRE SO CUTE TOGEEHTERRRR TEEHEHEHEHEEEE they are the homies that kiss eachother goodnight like CMON#but uhh so hey your bestest friend in da world just got turned into a freaky creature thing that eats ppl#ieah yknowthe guy that u care about alot that u had to watch get bled out by another freaky creature thing in an alleyway#yeaaah and you were super hurt and weak and stupid and u couldnt do jack nor shit to help him#what was i talking about again. RIGHT so hes even cooler now bc he cant die n hes super strong n his arms can be knives. sometimes.#but also he can eat people now. and sometimes he cant stop himself from eating people. and thats kinda scary. but in a cool way.#but also in a disturbing way. but also in an interesting way?but also in a freaky way.the feelings ARE MIXED!!!ATLEAST I THINK THEY WOULD B#okay again i havnt listened to the suckening ina bit. so its been a minute since i absorbed their personalities. i could be misreading or#misremembering or misconstruing or mischaracterizing or WHATEVER. i think the confusion carries its intended effect#LOSING MY TRAIN O THOUGHT. anyway i love soda n emizel i hope they get locked in a saw trap together or somethign. for enrichment.#TALOS GRANT ME THE STRENGHT TO POST MY CREATIONS ON LINE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHH!!!!!!!
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crimsongrimoire · 1 year ago
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masochist wrio is real. To Me.
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ourladyoftheflytrap · 7 days ago
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My mom always complaining about how I never spend time with her.... ma'am the last time we had a serious conversation you told me you thought i was making traumatic memories of my childhood up just to demonize you
#i straight up asked her ''do you really think im a liar? do you think you raised me to be a liar?'' and she said ''yeah i guess so'' 😭#literally would rather live in fantasy land than have a conversation where she takes accountability for hurting me#its always bc she had a hard life and couldve made mine harder and everything im upset about is because of a man#aint no man tried to drag me by my hair out of the room because i refused to stop talking about how uncomfortable i was with a violent man#moving in! nuh uh girl that was YOU. and aint no man busted down my door on multiple occasions to beat my ass for#*checks notes* not wanting to continue an emotional conversation after i had already started crying and wasnt able to communicate#no sir that was YOU. that was all you and aint no man was even in the house during those times#and definitely no man ever told me that i was manipulating you and being selfish for telling you that letting a man move back in after he#broke into our house and attacked you made me feel unsafe and made my life worse.#no man brought up how traumatizing ur childhood was and then threatened to send me to live with ur rapist daddy#when i said id like to spend the summer with my dad if my only alternative was living with you and a man who threw knives at your head#and tried to strangle you several times#no man fucking did those things to me. no man ever told me i wasnt allowed to be traumatized by his violent behavior bc he had it worse as a#kid. YOU said that to me. many times. every time i ever brought up my pain to you. and you still fucking do that#you sprayed windex into your mothers eyes when you were 23 during a fight but if i start yelling after you push me to talk to u#and then insult me when im honest then suddenly its ''i Never acted as bad as you did and my parents were so much worse''#no. i fucking remember girl. i was alive for that. you were a nightmare and your parents deserved it#but you werent always a peach to me and when i talk about that its not an insult its the fucking truth#and i cant come to meet you where youre at because youre no longer in the thick of a traumatic and dangerous situation#you and your man are settled down and u felt safe enough to marry him and you run the house and earn all the money#and you've done a lot of work to heal yourself and be better but that man and i had to meet you were you were at when you were at your worst#in order for you to feel safe and secure enough to start that process. and now this is Not me at my worse#i shielded and protected you from my very worst because i always felt like if you saw your kid coming undone it would hurt you#but if you cant even meet me in the middle now then we cant have the relationship you want. it would be a lie#it would be a lie and it would be a betrayal of myself. bc i cant be honest with you right now#every time i try you take it personally and we get into a fight. so dont act like my distance and privacy#is some sort of slight against you or a punishment. i am trying to keep the peace
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termagax · 6 months ago
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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ableedingpromise · 6 months ago
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God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????
#have u considered not constantly comparing me to ur abusive husband who hit u??????#since i was like 8 its really fucking weird#like who in their right mind tells their child theyre naturally destructive just like their father and then says ohhhhh but i didnt mean it#are u fucking insane#doesnt help that i look like him too everyone tells me that#and now she acts like me raising my voice once means she needs to walk on eggshells around me wtf#what about how u treated me from ages 13-16#freak#i cant believe this shes treating me like im some scary stranger as if shes not the one with full financial control and that im this horribl#person go kill yourself omgjdjsjsjwjwwhwhhw#fuck u#last year was the worst year of my life and that was wholy bc of u you showed me what place i really have in this family and that it was not#hing. how is sveryrone so ready to throw me away??#yet everyone else gets to say shes sooo proetctive and loving fuck off you wouldnt even tell them youre treating me badly diedie diediediedi#i want to cut so bad bro#but i promised myself i wont so#i mean i dont even have any way of gettibg blades so whatver#just remembered her reaction to me cutting#nothing. yeah absolutely no reaction. i thought the worat thing that could happen was her gettjbg mad at me again but no#i realised there was somwthing worse. she just straight up doesnt care#useless mother#im fine w u treating me like shit ive accepeted it that i have no place in anyone's life unlesss i hive into this but at least#at least stop trying to confront me like this#just let me rot in peace#i really dont want to do this anymore#any time now she'll ask me if i was pretending to cry so i wpuldnt have to go out w her now#as if that isnt insulting#and then she'll say i wasnt trying to be rude!!! as if she hasnt always treated me like none of my feelings r real. i only ever overeact. ok
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thedorfmirrin · 2 years ago
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Random post game scenario, after of which a towerless Pizzahead tricks Peppino to "let" him work "with" him. First day; and Pepperoni is already completely fed up with the guy!
Pizzahead hates dishes, and WILL break them rather than washing any. ever. this is canon and you CANT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE
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willyhoos · 2 days ago
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"shadows are inverted flames" -> wilsons hair is made of shadow -> YOUR BOYFRIEND'S HAIR IS MADE OF FLAME??? PETPETPETPET
also wilson can't leave the throne so he just has to deal with her doing this 24/7
#i cant believe i frankensteined this piece back to acceptability. wack.#dont starve#dst willow#wilson higgsbury#willowson#i kind of uh. hated the linework for this. so then i just. threw every trick i knew at the piece until it tuned out ok#still. dont look too hard.#real talk... it probably feels like thick clouds of smoke... incredibly soft... very soothing yes yes.#i will always come back to willowson. Actually Mad mad scientist x escaped asylum felon arsonist.#and its always a toss up as to who is going to be more unstable in any given situation.#they take turns.#usually wilson is Responsible. he likes feeling adult unlike willow. but sometimes he goes WACK and willow goes (sigh) guess ill clock in#what if we were both horrible people put in a situation where it didnt really matter anymore#could we find some kind of solace in the now-mundane insanity. could it become borderline domestic.#the closest thing to a home either of us have really ever had#i know wilsons parents canonically loved him very much . but#what has it amounted to for him? does he even believe he was loved at all?#his comments about nannies... they left you alone a lot didnt they poor boy. with nothing but books and bad ideas and worse thoughts#and willow. (gestures to the ashes of the orphanage and the Metaphor of 'seeing shadows')#wilson (haunted by his mind) (as in the threat is internal and the threat is Him)#willow (haunted by her mind) (AS IN SHE IS LITERALLY BEING HAUNTED)#(alternatively a metaphor for a vague and nameless mental illness. more of an allusion to the old 'asylums' than a specific diagnosis)#also they have fangs. ok goodnight#my nyart
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droodlebug · 8 days ago
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soo many of my ocs.. and like All my beloved ones.. are people who just desperately want to live a quiet, peaceful life with their loved ones. but forces outside of their control keep making that impossible for them, and they aren't able to keep going through the situations against them without having to hurt and push themselves too far but still keep Choosing to be good and do good things because it is just what you should do
this says nothing in particular about me, i am sure.
#ocs#danica from a very young age has a demon in her eye... then when he is older his mother figure he lives with is kidnapped#and he has to claw through to find her again and keep using the power of his eyeball demon friend even though#every use is slowly killing him.#ashasiara...... all she wants is a nice life and she is saved from dying by a god then made to be the second of her clan#and then gets infected with the blight while her best friend dies and has to join an army against her will just to not become a darkspawn#and THEN the whole army gets betrayed and she has to single handedly take this all on alone and build and army at fucking age 24#and then she is Done and cant even rest and stay running off with her friends bc the wardens drag her back#and she goes in and out of trying to soft leave the order and failing until she comes to the inquisiton and starts tutoring the kid herald#and then gets like a solid decade of time with her husband to just Exist like she always wanted before she dies an early death.#and the whole time she is a blood mage and actively has to sacrifice her own blood to beat back the odds against her AND has to deal#with demons trying to snatch her body every night when shes asleep.#bud has chronic pain and health issues from his godhood. that he only has bc he was Trying to save his town. and he desperately#Does Not want it. so he runs and avoids it and gives his power to someone else (which he then has to get back bc oops she sucks and also#every time she uses it he is in awful pain and blisters) and tries to ignore it for literally 1000+ years. until he cant anymore#until he comes across someone else affected by the same thing that he starts to care about too much and wants to fix it for him#and the someone else is sterling whos only want is to experience life in its whole but was trapped and isolated in the sky#and now that he is on the ground is in constant health issue city but he is so in love with everything#and would stay here forever but the threat of the god. the mother figure that made him is looming the entire time unable to be shaken#astrias does actually start with the exact goal of Wanting ro be famous and Known and beloved by everyone she sees#but as she starts to make actual connections with so many people for the first time in her life that starts to change.#she goes from a cocky girl wanting to be a beloved hero to someone who actually ends up being a hero from a genuine act without care of#recognition. and then she gets it. she gets what she always wanted and rejects it to go live and bake with her wife and sit on the porch#koralynne (the wife) who is just in the position of being a mercenary because she desperately needs money#because she Wants to be bard. a performer. but every chance st that shes ever had was ripped away#so she tries to do it herself. then finds that the more she uses her magic the faster her energy drains. the harder is it to Exist.#to even play music. to think. and she has to change her entire direction and how she does everything. but she still keeps going#not alone. she has astrias and destiny and atlas.#lin who fails at the one thing she was literally made to do. whos body wages a war against her for turning against its stages purpose#but she makes it work for her anyway. bevause she finds people she loves that love her and she doesnt want to let it go
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lambjock · 3 months ago
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i think that viewing the little hope relationships as just ‘family’ ( specifically : blood family, ones with traditional roles and relationships, one bred from a nuclear familial structure ) has a habit of dismissing them entirely. it is not blood that binds them together, nor is it family structures, and throughout every iteration of their lives things change. sometimes they’re merely neighbors with a slim portion of blood relation, sometimes they’re bound by flimsy paper or war, and sometimes they’re students at a college following their professor around. the nature of their relationships change, as do their circumstances and surroundings, but they ( as a mismatched unit ) are eternally bound and divided by a child and an inherent, unescapable tragedy. the important aspect of their relationships is that they are agonized individuals who are stuck together and wouldn’t like to be. the important theme between them is that despite their determined suffering, all the bad ways they clash, and in spite of a bubbling self loathing so awful that it literally kills them, they have found love and comfort in each other anyway, or perhaps have realized a love that has always been there. there’s no ‘i love you as a daughter’ between angela and taylor, just as much as there isn’t any ‘i love you as a sibling’ between dennis and tanya. they just love each other. even the clarke family, arguably the most familial bond they have, still isn’t traditional. none of them are blood and all of them are strangers inside their own home. they don’t look alike and they don’t share dna and they typically don’t care for the facade of a family either, more content to treat each other like roommates at best, and that’s fascinating because why would they care? why would standard labels matter to souls as ancient as theirs? it’s just another flesh they adorn, it’s just another pain they’ll carry and shape and hate. idk! i just think forcing titles on it all is rather boring in nature, and actively hinders the genuine relationships there, in an attempt to have a rulebook of sorts to follow. i also just loathe how the found family trope is constantly turned into a literal family, when it was made to spit in the face of a nuclear family structure. but that’s just me <3
#my posts.#if you believe in the reincarnation theory than HOW can you only view the relationships through a family lense#in two out of three of the timelines we see — they are not family!! not all of them anyway.#they put on different titles but their bonds remain the same.#all the masks in the world cant change their instinctive feelings for each other. good AND bad!#there is a lot of ‘you cannot hide from yourself’ in lh and i do think that’s important#they are always themselves. no matter what time period they’re from or how they’re raised or how different they now are. etc#so viewing things as like ‘oh they’re father/son’ doesnt do much for me#joseph and abraham start out as equals and close friends despite their age difference. and you see that friendship between john and andrew!#at least more than a typical parent-child dynamic#daniel and taylor are lovers and it’s heavily implied their feelings for each other have always been intense and more romantic in nature#despite their original label as siblings#so on so forth. john and angela being married in past lives is sweet but it never becomes their main reason for caring about each other#angela ( even at the end of things ) still mocks the idea of being married to john and actively doesn’t care for it.#but that doesn’t negate her love for him — romantic and otherwise!#again idk!! little hope has some of the best relationships ive ever seen and i think its because of this aspect#at their core they’re soulmates in horror. which is a better way to view them as opposed to family imo#the group entirely is far from traditional and i love it!!! i love a love and pain that transcends time plot#and lh actively does it so well …#i could say more on this but im a bit hungover and stuff alas ugh#but. idk! in my eyes they are NOT a nuclear family lol. not even the clarkes were one#their characters and relationships are so profound BECAUSE they are stripped of labels in my eyes. they are all an exposed nerve of a thing
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guinevereslancelot · 19 days ago
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not "i can do better" or even "i deserve better" per se, because i can't really believe that, but an inexplicable third reason i won't settle for a relationship where my level of care, effort, and sacrifice isn't reciprocated <3
#can't really explain why#it's a feeling like i want to say i deserve better but i always feel fundamentally unworthy of love so that's not it#and it's definitely not confidence that i can actually find someone willing to treat me better bc i often think i'll end up alone#but its a feeling like i would rather be alone than with someone who doesn't treat me the way i want to be treated#and i'm not saying this guy was cruel or bad in any way he just chose himself over me and didn't prioritize me#to the point that he broke up with me to make more time for his hobbies#and i don't need to be someone's absolute number 1 priority especially early in a relationship#but i feel like the relationship should be somewhere close to the top of the list#at least between career and skiing#not like i wanted or ever asked him to stop skiing#but he was aware that he was choosing to spend his time off doing that rather than seeing me#and im not even upset about that#honestly it was the entire days he spent in bed watching tv including the last day of break before we both went back to work#where he was too exhausted or lazy to want to see me even when i offered to come over#maybe it's not that i personally deserve better than that but i feel like everyone deserves better than that#anyway no point really but i cant quite put into words why i'm so okay with this breakup but this has something to do with it#i won't settle for not being a priority even if that means i end up alone#which is a nice feeling bc in the midst of it i was so patient and willing to put up with it#like oh he just needs time and if i out up with it and i'm not clingy then he'll love me and i'll become a priority#but even early in a relationship getting to know someone takes a willingness to prioritize doing that and make time for them#like i didn't need to see him every day but we had two entire weeks off from work and i saw him 4 times#and only 3 of those were actual dates#and i'm not mad at him i just accept that he's not really capable of having a relationship with anyone until he matures a lot#he didn't set out to hurt me or anything he's just immature and a bit selfish but i'm sure he doesn't even know that#but i'm glad it happened bc now i know what my standards are tbh#this has been a shitpost
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thorninyourpaw · 22 days ago
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my existence makes me feel awful for my family
#they really wanted someone so much better. im 21 ive done nothing with my life and i cant tell anyone im disabled#mum hid it from everyone but her entirely and now i cant say a thing or ill get her in drama and ill have to keep lying anyway#i had to lie about all the abuse and they saw through it but i still have to lie anyway for all of us i cant say i dont have a job#bc i have no id no nothing to my name no bank account no literally anything and that i have to take care of mum bc they would all just get#mean and give me a million questions and yell at me and dad already stopped talking to me for weeks bc he wouldn't listen when i was trying#to say the id stuff is convoluted ''why cant i just get it with you'' LEGALLY I DONT EVEN HAVE A DAD BC YOU REFUSED TO BE A PART OF IT AT#AT FUCKING ALL AND MUM HAD TO DO EVERYTHING ALONE AND DIDNT WANNA HIT YOU WITH SINGLE MOTHER TAX#I DOCUMENT WISE JUST STOPPED EXISTING I HAVE NO SCHOOL CARDS EVEN LIKE NOTHING AT ALL SHE LOST MY BIRTH CERT BOTH OF OURS AND I JUST?????#im sick of getting into fights about everything. my granddad is dying and i barely see him because dad doesnt like me anymore and its scary#trying to talk to him at all bc he'll yell if i stutter he'll yell if i tell him ive gone out snywhere at all he thinks everyone in the#world is just drooling to assault me but he's violent and scary so i cant tell him that anything has ever happened to me bc the one time i#even just vaguely told him someone wasnt nice to me he threatened to tie them to the back of his car and he's attacked my stepdad with a#screwdriver and thankfully he wasnt hurt badly hut like. im so scared of my dad. and it breaks my heart bc he used to be so gentle to me.#hes always had a bad temper i have haunting memories of him chasing me and mum in his car but he never once hit me. but the more i remember#the more i realise that he fucked me up honestly just as bad as mum did. im constantly scared of getting yelled at i cant be loving with#anyone not sincerely bc im terrified theyll leave me theyll hurt me and im always proven right and i miss my best friend and i miss my dad#i wish i could tell him about anything in my life i wish i could tell anyone anything all the secrets all the expectations n the way i know#everyone views me is killing me inside my family thinks im fat lazy selfish worthless dull stupid they think i dont even like seeing them#but they actively push me out every single occasion i see them i barely even have any photos with anyone i never get happy birthday messages#or calls or anything they all just forget i exist until they have to remember and i cant trll them any of my life bc ill get yelled at by#dad or called a liar or ill have one of my deepest secrets spilled to the entire family while im sleeping again.#whatever sorry
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