#its almost like theres more it to that and its the fact that we're trans which might come as a surprise to some but its kinda a huge

[snekdood]

notice how when you hear about all these rich white men in high positions of power doing heinous shit, none of them end up being trans men or mascs 🤔 but surely we're just as privileged as any other cis guy right?

[roachemoji]

Stranger Things S2 01

this is just me live blogging watching ST none of my thoughts are v coherent enjoy <3

STARTING OFF REAL INTERESTING BUT REAL TALK when you have like a cool haircut how do you expect not to be found if u do a crime???? LIKE I LOVE YOUR MOHAWK AND I GET IT U DONT WANT TO COVER IT BC OBVIOUSLY BUT!!!!

this is NOT the focus obviously its about the fact theres other kids from the lab BUT AKSHDAKSJDKH

DUSTINNNN!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM SO GLAD WE'RE STARTING ON HIM KISS KISS KISS

not the reagan sign STOP STOP ITS BEEN 2 SECONDS I HATE TED THATS HIS NAME RIGHT FIGHT KILL DESTROY BITE BITE BITE BITE

also the boys have grown SO MUCH !!!!!!! i forget there was actual real time between when these were filmed KSJHD im so excited to see Will and his perpetual bowl cut

JOYCE MY MOM!!!!!!!!!! SHES SO PRETTY AND SO CONCERNED I JUST LOVE HER

THE CHIP EATING DUDE FUCKING !!!! REMINDS ME OF THAT FUCKER FROM MONSTER HOUSE???????

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE REMINDS ME OF THIS ASKJDHASKJHDKAJSH

Will is so tiny ..... and little? oh hes being teleported into the fucking upside down again baby boy im so fucking sorry also ilu but why would you just walk outside away from wher eyour friends WERE to look at the horrifying shit world you were trapped and almost died in ????? aSDKJH

Im gonna have to DM you on discord or something so i can properly save all the things you have to say about the timelines and how the Russian shit plays into that because was anyone calling El (im assuming he's referring to her) is Russian??? IK this is possibly the third (?) timeline we've seen (genuinely let me know if i can do that its ok if not i forget tumblr has Dms)

ALSO WHO IS THIS GUY IM CRYING HES!!! WHAT A PI??? WHO ARE YOU

NANCY AND STEVE ALSO BESTIES IM CRYING STEVE IS hes trying so hard are they dating my brain is so full of queer shit that im so deadset on platonic hetero relationships - i paused for one second and unpaused and they kissed SO THAT ANSWERS MY QUESTION

idk what relationships to pay more attention to bc the dynamic between Mike and El interests me the most because of how compulsory everything feels and how El is going to navigate a completetly new environment and how Mike will cope with that? (im assuming its not well)

OH is this the !!! the guy that i see people talk about all the time YEAHHH THE BLOND MULLET MAN AND MAX what the fuck is his name Billy??? He looks trans

CRYING AT CHECKING OUT H IS ASS GIRL WAHT ASS HES FLAT HE HAS NOTH ING AKDSHASKHDKAJSH and those jeans are supposed to be supporting cheeks

I love Mr Clark so much and everyone who looks bored in his class just doesnt GET IT

BUT ALSO MAX I GET IT QUEEN the boys all staring are so good I FORGET THEY GO AS THE GHOST BUSTERS FOR HALLOWEEN

JOYCE MY MOM WHO IS THIS GUY HES??? GOOFY AND SHES SO HAPPY ??? BOB !!! i have no initial bad opinions of him bc hes silly and goofy and he makes Joyce so happy and she deserves to be SO SOSOS OS HAPPY and nothing but happy

IF i have to endure another god damn Hopper flash back im gonna throw up and scream and cry and lose my mind and I won't recover and I'll never come back

Im in call while I watch this episode because i really wanted to get through while and actually use my brain bc i don't that often - but my roommates bird is sitting next to her mic and farting really really softly into it and its making me lose my fucking mind

CORN MAZES WHEN YOURE TALL LOOK SO EASY AND LESS SCARY WHENEVER IM IN A FUCKING CORN MAZE ITS TERRIFYING AND I CANT SEE SHIT BC IM LIKE 2 FEET TALL

NANCCYCYY AND JOHNANATHANANSDNSAKDJ BESTIES BESTIES BESTIES BEST FRIENDS IM MAKING THEM A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET ITS THEIR FAVORITE COLOURS AND THEY NEVER TAKE THEM OFF

ADN STEVE TOO!!! IM SORRY YOURE A THIRD WHEEL BUT its the start of season 2 how do we feel about polyam relationships between them where the audience for that point me in the correct direction

DUSTIN IS RIGHT ALSO I LOVE HIM i love his little hats - MAX IS ALSO RIGHT

God i feel so ba for Will like to be??? singled out like that especially in elementary school? hell.

WHERE ARE THEY GOING TOGETHER WHAT IS HAPPENING ISNT THIS THE LAB ??? ougHHH THAt needle sound was unecessary

REALLY starting to see how this might be a different timelinei have no idea how ???? Joyce would.... trust them??? UNLESS THIS IS A HOSPITAL no its not ho films ina fucking hospital like this

also theyre mentioning the upside down

I understand needing to go back to the only place that fully understands that it exists and you need a place to talk to someone and also monitor him physically without being dismissed as insane - but i dont understand how Joyce OR Hopper would trust the Lab again after everything happened??????

I'm glad that he's actually getting help, and im glad that Joyce and Hopper are there to make him feel safe and support him given everything but !!!!!

this iS THE. He has PTSD. when did they get the word to describe that akjhaskjdh NVM HE JUST SAID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO IS PRETENDING LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL HELPFUL BC IT SURE THE FUCK IS N OT FOR ME ????????? also who is this DR hes kinder but "i need you to trust me" to JOYCE AFTER THE BRENNER SHIT ???

also them NOT MENTIONING IT WHEN THEY LEAVE BUT JOYCE UPSET ABOUT THE WHOLE "i need you to trust me" THING B UT NOT BRINIGN UP BRENNER?????? susususususus timeline shit anyway EM @ me tell me wahts up kiss kiss mwuah mwuah

OH they've upped their guinea pig game on entering the upside down and the gatelooks fucking uglier and uglier LOVE THE TORCH glad it works but no wonder the gate looks angry???

DUSTINNN I LOVE H IM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

ough i have a feeling her older brother is gonna ..... trigger me a lil but we'll get through it

THEM BOTH HAVING A CRUSH ON HER!!!!!

If YouR fRiEnD jUmPs OfF a ClIfF 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

THEYRE GOING OVER TO HAVE DINNER WITH BARBS FAMILY STOP STOP STO PST OPST OPST IM GONNA CRY Oh they hired a P.I okay yeah the bald guy he..... HIS CARD STOPPPPP

realizing they defenitely can't tell her parent's what actually happened to her an di hate that im gonna oaufkahd girl im so sorry im so sorry im so osrry UPSET BC SHE AS A CHARACTER DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE I WISH THEY HADN'T DONE HER DIRTY LIKE THAT

all the photos of her would make me so ill to look at like god NANCYYY THE GUILT AND B LAME GIRLIEEEE

also Mike rebelling after experiencing that kind of trauma and losing Will and El even though Will came back he's not the same of corse he's struggling - calling it with the !!!! WALKIE TALKIEEEE girl i miss her too

YEAHHH ITS dustiNNNN BUT HE AKSHDKAJSH

DUSTINNN IM KAHSDKJH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES SO SILLY !!!!!!!!!!!!! HES THE SILLY IN MY HEART

HONESTLY props to him again for not like invesigating something that was probably gonna be HORRIBLE he'd survive a horror movie

JOYCEEEEE IN MY FAV SHIRT SHES SO KISS KISS KISS KISS

Johnathan is such a good brother bro BUT ALSO WILL IS SO RIGHT I GET IT I GET IT I UNDERSTAND TREATING IT LIKE ITS NORMAL MAKES IT WORSE !!!! SOMETHING HAPPENED PLEASE ACKNOWLEGE THAT and JOHANATHANNN HES THE FREAK AND A WEIRDO

STOPA SDADKSHJ iT S THAT WHY YOU DONT HAVE ANY FRINEDS SHUT UP STOP STOP /POS

BOB i love you so far and ik that being a step parent in these situation (even tho hes only dating Joyce its the same) is so hard especially when there are kids involved BUT YOURE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB

AND THEYRE ALL WATCHING THE MOVIE TOGETHER AHHH

ew the phone the trigger GIRL YOU GOT THIS ITS OKAY ITS OKAY BUT ALSO THATS SUCH A HORRENDOUS RINGTONE WHAT THE FUCK

love me a tech who accidentally ignores the alarms going off (i couldnt hear the song playing it feels important - unintentially placing importance on all the music in this show now thank u em)

OohuaAHDAKJH OH WILL IS GONNA get ,,,,, yoinked back again isn't he ouguhadhAKHDJS interesting that it really only affects the *outside* like doors are now portals in a way ? i cant remember if it affected the inside of the arcade immediately or not

OH MIST LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wood Waffle Hours !!!!!!!!!! OH NO CABIN HOURS??? IS SHE. IS SHE. BIG EYE BALL EMOJIS LET ME SEE MY GIRL LET ME SEE THE BABY GIRL !!!! this entire scene makes it seem like shes a fucking AKSJDHA freak ass creature

HER HAIRRRRR SHES SO CUTE STOPPPP HOPPERS LITTLE SMILE IM TEARING UP AND CRYING ACTUALLY LOOK AT THEM LOOK AT THEM LOOKA T THEM OUGHHAHAHHHHHHHH IM HEAVING

thank u for reading these were my thoughts

[noelle-holi-gay]

Hi! Just finished my second reread of Dream Come True and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA its amazing! You could definitely be a published author with the skills you have. I'm literally writing this just so i can point out not everything i liked because that would be just me copying the entire fic link but the things i liked the most

-i love how the vessels each have their own distinct and concrete personality, motives, and moment to shine. It would've been easy to just make them mostly the same and fight them at once, but you didnt, and i love that!

-carol. i love how you write carol. a lot of fics, especially trans-noelle suselle fics, make carol a straight up villain. no hate to tension points, but your take on carol is a lot more complex and nuanced than theirs. of course she's going through a lot, she lost her daughter and is on the brink of losing her husband and now her remaining daughters throwing herself into all this danger

-dess not knowing how to fit herself into the light world after growing up isolated from everyone and ruling a kingdom is a really good arc for her

-while we're on the subject of holidays, you even give rudy more depth. hes not a perfect parent, he's hiding his problems just like carol, though through laughter and smiles rather than icy detachment.

-bruh you gave almost everyone a character arc. thats a real tough challenge for such a densely packed cast, and a popular cast as well. and each arc is literally spot on

-apparently ralsei being kris' headband is popular fanon but i first heard about it though dream come true and it just makes too much sense

-i love red and i love their relationship with kris. i love the part where ralsei offers kris the chance to get their soul back and they refuse, even though red wants to. (do kinda wish they were a little meaner because kris could do Epic Amounts of Trolling now that they're dating berdly but alas red is kindness so that will never happen)

-love all the little snowgrave references, especially ambitions "you know what i would do with that power?" speech.

-little detail but i love how in the medieval flashbacks they speak in funny medieval talk

-the fact that you snuck in a "based? based on what?" joke in the middle of the fucking apocalypse

-no hate to suselle but krerdly is my favorite deltarune ship and you snuck them in at the end in the best way possible

usually my taste in deltarune fics (and fics in general) is fluffy slice of life hometown drama, and you fucking got me. i went "ooh suselle teehee" with dare to dream and stealing kisses and now theres the angel and gaster and dess and the bunker and i loved it. 20/10. holy shit this went on much longer than i thought it would

Waaaa thank you so much for the kind words!! I’m so glad you enjoyed the series! I put a lot of love into it and I’m always happy when I see that pay off in people’s experiences. This made my day :D

[devilbombers]

Music Rambles: Vocaloid/utaite

for real have been living under a rock all this time because I actually only really got into the vocaloid/utaite scene only about 2 years ago. I REALLY think I missed out during it's peak.

Love or hate vocaloid, you cannot ignore the herstory and impact it has on the world

The beginning of the end

I still recall in highschool some of my friends were really into it and as a matter of fact I was constantly reminded of the fucking kagamine twins just because I have a twin lmao. I thought it was all super cringe though and I would actually get creeped out if people mentioned it and shamed them for it. oh how the tables have turned.

cringe or not, it was impossible to ignore it or deny the yass slayery it has. Some songs I either pretended it sounded like shit and/or listened to in secret was:

butterfly on your right shoulder - the kagamine twins (#1 guilty pleasure at the time)

electric angel - the kagamine twins

just be friends - megurine luka

angelfish - rin kagamine

first love academy, school of true love - rin, len and gumi (fun fact: this is the first song i ever found with gumi in it so i actually thought gumi was a man at first. Ever since then I've accepted gumi as a trans legend lmao)

it really wasn't until I discovered reol did I actually give in to it all. Initially I thought reol's voice was unbearably high and giga's intense beats hurt my brain, but luvoratory is too good to be played once and after a few thousand listens before i knew how i felt i was hooked.

things probably spiralled out of control for me with it all because fast forward to around 2019; miku expo begins and she ACTUALLY has a show in my city. I actually cop VIP TICKETS to go see her. This would've been the craziest shit ever to ever happen to me if it didn't get cancelled because of covid aadjasdsaldlaakl it was supposed to be my first concert too. (on a slightly lighter note; I got tickets a little while ago to go see gumi live in my city!!!!!!!!!)

thoughts on the genre as a whole

I think the most irresistible thing about the whole vocaloid/utaite genre to me is there is no consistent genre to it. It works so well with my personal philosophy of having no favorite music genre of course I have to be so invested in it.

some producers and utaite i like:

giga

nilfruits

yuu miyashita

babuchan

rerulili

kira

oster project

kikuo

ado

mitchie m

utsu-p

Hiiragi Kirai

tsumiki

youman

if you're already familar with some of these guys, you can already tell all of these artists and such are quite vastly different from each other. It's a little beautiful to me in a way how it all is how it is and you can't really see any other music subculture do something like this.

FAVORITE VOICE BANKS

I really want to say it's Rin Kagamine because I'm delusional as fuck and think we're the same person and most of the vocaloid songs i listen to happen to use her vocals. Some years ago during a very boring and so forgettable con I cannot remember what it was called, i was just sitting idly by my table as my friend played songs a little on their speaker. One of the songs they played was Meltdown by iroha and ever since then I can't stop playing it almost every single day and everytime even the slightest inconvenience happens to me; I will blare this song so loud in frusturation.

Vflower is somewhere way up there with fav vocaloids. VERY unique sounding voice and I really like how producers are able to tune her very differently from each other. She's really dominating the scene lately and at this point its IMPOSSIBLE to ignore her. which is exactly why I'm so aggravated at companies and such for not letting her play live or even put her in fucking project sekai!!!!!!! how the fuck are you gonna keep putting her songs in it but not have her in it! i don't care if she's not in the same company theres no way you don't have the money to do it!!!!!!!!

i feel like there isn't a lot of songs by Gumi by herself; i really wish there were more bangers for her. She duets extremely well with mostly rin or miku though. Her voice provider is half-filipino therfor gumi is half-filipino and my only representation in this awful world so i really like her. Very nice sounding voice, theres a lot of opportunity to use her for most things really. I have the exact same issue as i do with vflower, PUT HER IN PROJECT SEKAI AND LET HER DO MORE CONCERTS YOU COWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Megurine Luka has the most prettiest sounding voice for sure. I would group her in my top 3 vocaloids in no particular order with vflower and rin. LOTS of nice range and there isn't much to say i can say other than shes a fucking legend and she's kind of sexy lmao.

THERE REALLY IS NO SONGS FOR MEIKO AND IT FUCKING SUCKS CAUSE SHE HAS SO MUCH UNTAPPED POTENTIAL. Very nice almost silkyish mature sounding voice. Personally i think no one knows how to harness her voice the best than oster project. Maybe it's just because they're the only producer who makes shit for her, but I feel like maybe meiko's voice is best used in dramatic type songs with lots of classic instruments. I'm actually angry at the world for not producing her enough my god

Ms Hatsune Miku; what can i really say except she's literally the bitch of all time. Obviously the vocaloid with the most impact for sure with what i would say is the most balanced type of voice from all the voice banks which gives her lots of opportunity to do literally any song which is exactly why she has so much motherfucking power.

[creacherkeeper]

Hi! Do you have any advice to share for people who've started questioning their identity after feeling secure in a label for a while? I feel pretty lost and off-balance and I'm not sure where to go from here.

as someone whos identity labels have changed about a hundred times in the last 15 years, yeah i do

broader (cishet) society has kind of conditioned us for the "born this way, come out loud and proud" view of queerdom where our big mountain to climb is being honest about who we are, and once we're Out, the hard part is done and we can just live comfortably as ourselves. this is ... almost entirely fabricated and has not been the experience of almost any queer person i know. realizing youre queer is the first tiny baby stepping stone for the rest of your journey. ahead of you there is a long and slow and, sometimes arduous, potentially joyful, process of figuring out the things that make you comfortable and happy

because that's really the thing, isnt it? identity labels are HIGHLY dependent on society and culture and time period, and are in no way Fixed and Inherent Facts about the universe or even about human beings. its a name for a collection of similar experiences that, like many things, have more variety within them than between them. two lesbians may have vastly different experiences, while a lesbian and bi woman may be almost identical. a trans man and a butch person may view their masculinity almost the same way but come to different conclusions. three people with similar feelings on gender may identify as nonbinary, agender, and genderqueer because those are the labels that speak to them the most. defining yourself as an identity is not a test you can pass or fail. its a word that you are using as a tool. and that tool unlocks things for you - experiences, community, feelings of safety, comfort, joy, expression

it is natural that our conception of ourselves will change as we grow because we are constantly changing and morphing as we have new experiences, see new things, learn new terms, meet new people. and the terms we use will change too, because that's just what society does. i feel comfortable identifying as nonbinary, and often do, but the term that makes me feel the warm fuzzies is 'genderqueer', because that was what i had as a child when i desperately needed something, and, to my point, the term nonbinary wasnt even a thing yet. literally no one was using that term when i needed it, i wouldnt even hear it used until 7 years after that. and i now am feeling more comfortable identifying as a trans man, even though, many many times, i asked myself "am i trans? am i a dude?" and thought, nah, not me. and then one day it clicked. and my attraction to men clicked. and i thought "well, okay, not a lesbian anymore. lets find out whats comfy now". and it was scary, for sure. but theres also been so much joy in the process of discovery

i kind of think of it like putting together a really big puzzle. youve got the pieces but dont know the picture its making. and you finally find a collection of pieces and say, oh, theyre blue. theyre all blue. this is definitely the sky. and you feel so satisfied in calling it the sky for a while. and then you find a piece with a ripple and think, water? okay, not sky. water. and over time you realize its a lake. now you have the word lake, and that feels good, but you dont know whats around the lake. you still dont know the scene. and for a while all you have are your blue pieces, and you cling to those little ripples, until one day your hand falls on one thats green. grass. you find the forest. and eventually, you find the sky, and you realize it wasnt blue like you thought, but instead a beautiful sunset. you definitely couldve chosen to stick with your little patch of blue and said this is my sky, this is my sky, this is my sky. you couldve ignored the ripple. you couldve thrown the green piece away, and let it fall into a corner where you would never find it again. but you would never have seen the trees. you never couldve marveled at the colors of that sunset. and maybe in the last few little pieces, the last empty spot, you find the cabin, and you make that your home

i think youve hit a crossroads, because once you start questioning, you cant go back. you can deny your feelings, but youll know that you had them. and that kind of thing sits and stews when you arent looking at it. maybe you go exploring down the path and it leads you right back to where you were before, thats fine. now you feel confident you can find your way home. or maybe you find something completely new and different that you never wouldve known was there if you didnt go looking. that can be scary. a lot of times growth and progress and change is uncomfortable. you have to break in your new self like a new pair of shoes. but it is worth it. discover yourself and honor what you find. maybe that new identity wont be permanent, but thats fine. maybe youll think its the sky for a while. let labels be a tool of expression, community, discovery, and joy. and eventually youll get to see that sunset, and youll find your cabin