#its about gender and self love and identity in ways im not exactly ready to talk about

[chiimeramanticore]

one day I'll become you

[sickknotdoom]

i love sparklecare ( i really do ) but i don't understand the cometcare au at all and i don't get its hype. the designs look SO rushed ( like it was put together in a 10 minute art challenge ) and is it just me or. is the art style progressively getting worse ( for both sparklecare and cometcare ). i hate how random cometcare is too, i tried reading it and my brain got so fried. i had no idea what was happening. i loved cometcare at first, it was cool when it was JUST pollarrydoomi then they threw in these random ass characters and went "oh yeah. ur dating and have a child." ???? especially with hemera, the only (?) aroace character, why is she with caroline and why does she have a kid. adding hemera and miley into the mix was SUCH a bad idea. also. caroline x doom???? carruni s/x canon ( even though uni is aegosexual/asexual ... ) cometcare had so much potential and it all went down the drain by adding 10 thousand nearsiblings

FORGIVE ME FOR HOW LONG THIS RESPONSE IS

ive been saying exactly this ever since i found out about the cometcare au. literally everybody has a million children with everyone else and im like. why.

this may be a controversial opinion but i am not a fan of carroom (caroline x doom) in the slightest, since caroline is literally shown to hate doom in the main comic. literally all of their interactions involve caroline insulting doom, not to mention the earlier half of volume three.

i know enemies to lovers is a thing but if somebody chucked a full bucket of puke on my head, and then gave my sister this Judgemental Ass Look for offering to clean it up, i would honestly Kill Them. regardless of if they secretly had a crush on me or i secretly had a crush on them or whatever. you cannot convince me these two dont fucking hate eachother.

also i mean this in the most respectful way possible but i feel like theyre sorta erasing carolines sexuality with this? i may be attracted exclusively to men, but allow me to speak for a bit.

i am not at all trying to invalidate dooms agender identity, but. speaking as someone whos agender myself. i look exactly like a cis man. i am assigned male at birth, my testosterone is absolutely thriving since im going through puberty, i look like a man and i have zero intent to ever change that. if someone was NOT attracted to men, they would NOT be attracted to me, regardless of me actually being agender. especially not if i Tortured And Murdered Their Friends.

this isnt invalidating dooms gender identity nor is it invalidating mine, im definitely into something here. as someone whos gay (nblm) i wouldnt instantly develop a crush on lizzo if she came out as agender, especially not after the fucked up shit she did. now apply this to carroom, and miloom (miley x doom). but mainly carroom.

i understand carruni since unis a closeted trans woman, but thats different from carroom in a lot of ways. it would make sense for uni to not alter her gender expression as long as shes in the closet, since she isnt ready to explain to anyone else what she really is to anybody else. caroline and uni have an extremely deep bond too, so ofcourse shed come out to caroline first, and ofcourse theyd develop crushes on eachother. in the future (going off of au's and such), when uni is out of the closet, she is shown to present as her authentic self, and she. does a really good job at it. shes fucking gorgeous in cometcare. so it makes sense for caroline to be attracted to her.

and also uni isnt a serial killer. caroline seems to really dislike serial killers to the point where shed throw full buckets of vomit on them, which is. reasonable.

however again, unis aegosexual (if i recall correctly, uni and hemera are the only characters confirmed to be on the asexual spectrum as of volume four, not including characters that havent appeared yet) so it feels wrong to explicitly sexualize her regardless, especially if the clowns are "uncomfortable" with fans doing the same.

while were on this topic, agreed. hemera (the only aroace character in the entire sparklecare universe so far, including au's last time i checked) has like four other partners in cometcare. i dont think thats a very good idea considering they made it a point to explicitly point out her being aromantic in volume two.

and yeah, the artstyle has been very clearly degrading, i have another post about that.

how the fuck do i end this

[schrodingerzgender]

i cut my hair finally, its not exactly what i wanted but at least its more masc than some people get their first go around

its honestly affected me weirder than i thought it would… and what freaks me out is its only shifted my gender confusion and complicated it. when i had my long hair i desperately wanted to appear more masc most of the time, only turning on the femme when i wanted like minor tho often double sided social perks that come with it (people being kinder to me, people calling me attractive, yknow the drill, i know its more complex but idk)

and like id get gender euphoria from being ‘one of the guys,’ guys acknowledging that i think like them and can meld in their humor when they make nasty jokes and dont feel they need to censor cause ‘a girls in the room’ yknow? just having genuine male friends and i love that i do things more masc (but its never been in a ‘girl power’ way or im doing this to spite anyone its just the stuff i like) like i never resonated with viewing my more ‘masc’ interests as a feminist power thing yknow cause i never really felt the same as cis women. like i cringed when id think of someone saying “wow that little gal sure can drive, really stickin it to the boys” and that kind of shit. i just like that i know more about cars than my boyfriend and can fix shit. i leaned into all of that masc stuff when i had long hair to make me feel more like me, for people to see me as a guy and/or a girl and/or just a person depending on the day or situation. and thats how i came to accept my self as nonbinary and genderfluid. it just makes sense.

now with my haircut something weird has happened… im kinda worried about looking like a boy. and you might be thinking “oh honey that just means youre cis” and thats honestly what im afraid of but tbh i think the feeling has way more complex origins. like im not worried about looking like a boy because i dont like it, its because OTHER people wont like it. im closeted, and i dont have enough dysphoria to warrant fully coming out, at least not rn. but in the meantime i have to be seen as cis girl in the eyes of others and as a “girl” who now looks like a boy… im just afraid people will see me as an ugly girl at worst or a girl who got an unfortunate haircut at best. and i feel like i need to compensate FEMININITY now and not be masc in order to please and appease others. for them to not ask questions.

i dont wanna come out im really not ready… i know what its like to hear the concept of genderfluid when youre still stuck on there being only two genders. i know cause it was me and i thought it was bullshit. it took me years to accept myself and view my own identity as valid. how can i come out to people who will never fully get it? who deep down under a veil of acceptance will think my identity is bullshit?

so i feel stuck, i got this haircut to feel like myself but i still feel like i have to hide

[dangkinronpa]

headcanons for trans komaeda who dated trans hinata

heres ur headcanons, komaeda! i dont think u ever mentioned what pronouns u wanted me to use for u two so im sticking with they/them! i hope u like them, and if u need me to change anything all I have to do is let me know! - mod kiibo - before komaeda and hinata started dating, komaeda was so scared of dating hinata since they werent sure if they were ready to be so emotionally close to someone else. they were scared of having to open up to hinata emotionally, even if they really wanted to. because of this, komaeda tried to keep from falling for hinata for a while - unfortunately for komaeda, they ended up falling for hinata pretty hard. its not like it was something they could help though, since hinata was just a great person that komaeda enjoyed being around. still, komaeda found that they enjoyed having their crush on hinata, even if they initially didnt want to be in a relationship with them - when hinata actually mentioned going out with komaeda as a passing comment, komaeda was incredibly shocked! after all, how could they have expected hinata to be interested in them? of course, komaeda ended up stopping the whole conversation and letting hinata know that they would love to be able to date them - since komaeda and hinata were both trans, they could easily relate to each others problems and understand what the other was going through. this ended up making them look to each other for reassurance, since nobody could understand them better than each other in their minds. they comforted each other a lot - of course, the same sentiment about helping each other through problems relating to their gender and treatment because of it applies when someone else is treating them unfavorably because of their gender identity. they always stick up for each other, and if they have to team up and teach someone a lesson about their hatred, theyre more than willing to do so - to make up for how much the two of them get judged by others, hinata and komaeda promise to never judge each other. sure, they might disagree with some things the other believed, but they promise not to judge one another for what they think. this helps keep some peace, which is always a good thing in a long term relationship - speaking of keeping peace, hinata and komaeda actually have a fairly peaceful relationship. sure, sometimes the two argue a bit, and sometimes hinata just cant understand what komaedas thinking, but generally they can manage to keep things peaceful. this is good for both of them, because this gives them someone they can turn to when theyre upset - the two of them dont really show signs of pda such as holding hands often, but when they do they both seem to really enjoy it. its like a nice little reminder that someone will always be there for them, and komaeda especially needs it whenever theyre in a self deprecating mood. its a way to show themselves that they really do love each other - even though pda isnt exactly the most common part of their relationship, komaeda and hinata still do plenty of little things for each other! for instance, komaeda always does their own chores and will frequently do hinatas as well, and hinata will get komaeda a bunch of little gifts that they think theyll enjoy, along with various other nice little things - sometimes komaeda will think back to the times that they were scared of dating hinata and wonder just why exactly they felt like that. after all, hinata is one of the best things that komaedas been able to call theirs, and they now know that they shouldnt have been scared of dating hinata. if anything, dating hinata was one of komaedas best decisions