#its a relationship made infinitely more tragic when you realize how little ivan even needs to feel happy

[wodimewoahtime]

i really do think that till cared for ivan in a way that ivan just couldnt see ya know?? how to say this

till loves ivan in a way that isnt romantic, isnt selfless, isnt selfish, isnt holy, and isnt sinful. its something so simple and nonchalant that ivan would never never able to see it

till loves ivan in the way he lets him follow. and how he trusts that he will even if he doesnt look back.

i hesitate to call it love, but theres something so simply romantic in that constant expectation of his presence that im not sure what else to call it

tills love for ivan is so wonderfully normal that it can be misconstrued you know?

its like till doesnt give ivan an invitation to his party cause hes like "why would i need to tell him to come, hes gonna be there anyways"

while ivan is like "till doesnt want me there he didnt give me an invitation :( (im going to go anyways)"

and then till is like "ivan is there, glad he got the memo"

and ivan is like "i am an intruder in a place i wasnt and will never be invited to or welcomed"

the tragedy of the commonplace if you will