#its a little disheartening bc i thought maybe they were someone new who wanted a comm at first

[furballfaggot]

love poking at spambots

[mera-mann-kehne-laga]

To my adorablest idiot,

//पर ये सब सोचना

दिल को यूँ खोलना

सब कुछ कह कर ही

सब को बताना ज़रूरी है क्या?//

I've always wanted to tell you so so so many things but...........i just.....couldn't. Maybe Because idk how to entangle this tangled mess of thoughts in my head and say them out loud as words that make any sense. Because i feel like it won't ever make sense to you. It has never to anyone before.

//अक्सर तुमसे मिलकर मुझको

घर सा लगता है।

फिर क्यों दिल ही दिल में 

कोई डर सा लगता है।//

Or maybe bcz I'm an insecure coward. And I'm afraid of being perceived. By my own home.  I thought I should let it all out thoda toh bcz it was getting too much to hold in. I know you'll call me stupid. You'll tell me to stop thinking itna. But trust me i want to stop too. I so desperately want to. But i just.......can't.

i sometimes wish you could read my thoughts. So that you'd know how much i love you and how much you and everything you do and say mean to me and how I'm always resisting the urge to kiss you lol. But then i think no. He won't be able to withstand all the darkness in there. He'd get lost. It'd be too much for him. It'll consume him and he'll never be the same. Keep it to yourself please. 

But on the other hand i still so desperately want you to reach to those dark cracks of my mind and heart. And plant the seeds of your love and reassurance. And water them with your firmness. And make them bloom into the most beautiful flowers, being the absolute sunshine you are, sunshine. 

I know. It's all tedious work. But news flash. Loving someone like me is never easy. You ask me if i'm alright atleast 20 times a day, don't you? Or when I'm staring at you and you say What? And what is my answer everytime? Nothing. 

I want to say everything. But everything sounds like a lot doesn't it? And then how'd i explain it to you if you ask kya everything?

Girls like me are not easy to love. We feel everything so very deeply that it consumes us whole at times. We need constant reminding that you love us. Because even the tiniest slightest change in your behaviour would make us think we did something wrong.

i often feel excluded from everything but it's mostly my fault because i distance myself because i think i'm annoying. Then i feel lonely. And soon enough the whole world comes crashing down. And this wave of sadness makes it feel like all friends are annoying, everything is loud, and I'm contemplating why I even exist. This restlessness took so much away from me, sometimes I wish it would have taken my life as well.

I'm jealous of those who can function like a normal human being. They don't have anxiety holding them back from everything, they don't struggle to get out of bed or have to put on an act that everything is fine when its not. They don't struggle to hold friendships and relationships... they don't feel sad for no fucking reason everyday. Those that can manage pdhai and work towards their dreams, the ones who have self esteem and see the beauty in themselves. Those that know what its like to feel safe and secure, not insecure and fearful of it all.

I wonder how do you tell people? How do you tell them that you're exhausted even though you slept for 8 hours? How do you tell them that you need a break from talking and smiling and simply being near them? How do you tell them that you too are human and can make mistakes and can be a failure sometimes? Bc when the heck will this burn out leave me

i'm trying not to make it sound like a plea or an apology, but it should be one right?

//तू होगा ज़रा पागल 

तूने मुझको है चुना।//

Aaj when i said that thing about jumping off that flyover on my way back home or when i told you I'll be going away after 11th ends, tujhe kuch sunai nahi diya hoga but my heart shattered into a thousand little pieces. To see how disheartened and concerned and tensed you were. I then went to the washroom and broke down thoda because the feeling of being an unlovable burden worsened all of a sudden. I was also kinda overwhelmed by how much you cared and the guilt of concerning you itna. Because never in my wildest dreams did I imagine ki someone'd ever love me aise. But then i came back and saw your stupid pyaara face and everything felt good again. I'm sorry. For concerning you like that.

Aur sun. Though I may seem at times somewhat distant from you, through the gray mist of my own thoughts and storms, I am never far. my thoughts always circle around you ok? I love you hehe

Yours,

Nishu.

[month9books]

Riverdale TV Show Review Episode 5 by Andrew Buckley

RIVERDALE - Chapter Five: Heart of Darkness

I had a real blonde (Betty) moment today when I suddenly realized that all the titles of the Riverdale episodes are named after movies. I went to film school! How did I not catch that?! But enough about me and my shortcomings. We have another episode of Riverdale to rip to shreds and it’s full of gothic goodness!

This episode served to give us a proper introduction to the Blossom family. Other than Mrs. Blossom bitch-slapping Betty’s mom a couple of episodes ago, most of our experience with what is clearly a very well-adjusted family (of psychopaths) has been through Cheryl. But they’re so much more than we expected! Not only do they live in a creepy mansion on the edge of town, but they’re all evil and crazy. And that grandmother (shudder) . . . what is with Granny Blossom?! But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s take a look at the other main stories first.

I fully understand that Archie is our main character but the show is truly an ensemble with no actual clear protagonist and it’ll be impossible for every story to have the same impact. For me, Archie’s story is getting a little buried under all the death, drama, and scandals. However, it’s no less heartwarming as our fave teen deals with the dilemma of football vs. music. Veronica points out that we are now living in a PG world - Post Grundy. The shockwaves felt by Grundy’s departure are all purely living inside Archie’s head, and he has a hard time coming to terms with who he is and what he wants to do now that his muse has driven off into the sunset, likely to prey on some other unsuspecting teenagers. Enter Valerie and we have a new female looking to set Archie on a particular path. That’s right, Archie has moved from a cougar to a pussycat (**that was low hanging fruit and I apologize).

Even in the source material, Archie is a character of choices and balance. Betty and Veronica, Jughead and Reggie, Football and Music . . . he exists in a constant state of decision-making. It was refreshing, and reassuring to see his final decision in this episode to give the captain position over to Reggie. Archie truly is a good guy who really doesn’t want to hurt anyone. That kind of nobility is endearing. And in short supply when it comes to the town of Riverdale.

 This is more nitpicky, but the acting in this show is pretty solid across the board with a few people truly shining (Archie’s Dad, Veronica, Jughead) so when someone is missing the mark entirely, it stands out like a dead Jason Blossom interrupting a gay rendezvous. Oscar the college music mentor is the aforementioned metaphorical floating corpse in this episode. His performance was exceptionally wooden and I found the scenes a little jarring. But I digress . . .

 Jughead and Betty are in full investigation mode this episode, seeking to hunt down Jason’s killer. I’m disheartened to have to let go of my Betty/Polly split personality theory but it appears the show has proven me wrong. While we haven’t actually seen Polly yet - but wait, what about the home video of Polly as a kid? - You mean the little blonde girl? - Yeah, that one - That could have just as easily been a young Betty! Okay, so I’m having trouble letting go of the theory. Maybe Betty and Polly aren’t the same person. Maybe Betty is just forming a Polly ‘personality’ to let out her dark side ala Norman Bates? But why can’t Betty see Polly? Why did Mr. Cooper lie about Polly attempting to kill herself when she was really engaged to Jason? It still doesn’t add up. And that brings us to what was possibly my favourite scene this week: Enter Granny Blossom!

This woman was creepy on a number of levels. Thornhill is already one disembodied hand away from being the Addams Family Mansion as it is! Granny Blossom acts in an expository fashion to reveal two things: 1) Jason and Polly were engaged. 2) Betty and Polly look identical. Maybe because they’re the same person!? (Okay, okay, I’ll let it go) Jughead’s reaction to the old lady rolling out of the darkness (“The horror, the horror!) was beautiful and provided one of the few comedic relief moments of what was otherwise a dark, mist-clad, episode.

 Penelope Blossom makes Betty’s mom look like a girl scout leader. From the highly uncomfortable dinner party, to her verbally ripping Cheryl a new one, and her ulterior motive of using her son’s funeral to bring all the murder suspects into one place is downright chilling. Jughead referring to Cheryl as a Gothic Heroine is well-placed because that’s exactly what she becomes in this episode and it’s not just the creepy setting of Thornhill that cements the title for her. Cheryl has her own demons, as revealed by her eulogy, and suffers at the hands of her demented family, and all of a sudden her entire character makes perfect sense. Sadly it means we have to remove her from the list of murder suspects because it now truly makes no good logical sense that she’d have killed her brother who was clearly the only good thing in her world.

Veronica is finding a place for herself as the town’s do-gooder and while her witty banter and perfect pun delivery is on point, she truly carved out her role as ‘supportive friend’ this week. Normally she plays off of Betty but this time around she becomes Cheryl’s shoulder to cry on and, albeit briefly, a bit of a compass for Archie. It’s her interactions with Cheryl and her ability to relate to the misunderstood rich girl that drives the story forward as the remaining Blossom twin struggles to find the best way to say goodbye to the dearly departed. For someone who is supposed to be shallow, Ronnie constantly shows shades of being the bigger person and it’s an interesting tact for the show’s writers to take. Eventually we’re going to see evil Veronica and I expect it’ll be both spellbinding and devastating.

 This was a great gothic episode that highlighted an even darker side of Riverdale and its nefarious maple syrup drenched murderous past. And now I have a craving for pancakes . . .

  STRAY THOUGHTS OF AWESOMENESS . . .

 - Snakes in a Box! Someone call Samuel L Jackson. Scratch that, call Fred Andrews. Know why? Because he continually crushes it on every level. As both a father and a friend, Mr. Andrews represents something noble and hardworking in a town of misfits, thieves, and murderers. And it looks like Hermione is beginning to notice.

 - Blood feud and Maple Syrup - Grandfather Blossom killed Grandfather Cooper. One of the few times anyone has been murdered over sticky sugar. Again, someone bring me pancakes. Now!

 - “Yeah, KJ, listen, we’re going to need at least one scene per week where you don’t wear a shirt.”

 - Zombie Jason!

So who killed Jason Blossom?! Let me know what you think! 

Andrew Buckley attended the Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program. After pitching and developing several screenplay projects for film and television, he worked in marketing and public relations, before becoming a professional copy and content writer. During this time Andrew began writing his first adult novel, DEATH, THE DEVIL AND THE GOLDFISH, followed closely by his second novel, STILTSKIN. He works as an editor for Curiosity Quills Press.

Andrew also co-hosts a geek movie podcast, is working on his next novel, and has a stunning amount of other ideas. He now lives happily in the Okanagan Valley, BC with three kids, one cat, one needy dog, one beautiful wife, and a multitude of characters that live comfortably inside of his mind.

Andrew is represented by Mark Gottlieb at the Trident Media Group.

Website | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads

[comicteaparty]

December 4th-December 10th, 2019 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from December 4th, 2019 to December 10th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question: 

What comic ended or went on indefinite hiatus that you miss?  What about that comic do you like?

AntiBunny

An old one I enjoyed was Mindmistress. It was very interesting to see the combination of futurism and superheroes. It not only looked at what superhero tropes would and would not work in reality it took those tropes and looked for a way to make them work when they seem impossible. It wasn't exactly realistic, but it was believable and consistent within its self. The comic stopped very suddenly in the middle of a story arc.

carcarchu

Pao Ge Huang Taizi - https://www.kuaikanmanhua.com/web/topic/840/ i loved the funny and lighthearted tone of this series and really wish i could know how was supposed to end

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

My mind immediately jumps to Hannah is not a Boy's Name, which was one of the first webcomics I've ever read (that were not on the German site I was mostly reading where everything was manga inspired). Especially what Tess Stone did with typography in the comic pages was just...top notch (also one of the first comics I've seen that made used of vertical scrolling. It's pretty sad bc it ending had nothing to do with the creator, tho I'm glad Tess went on to create other really cool comics.

Q @CecilieQMT making WAYFINDERS

Oohhh seconding Hannah is not a Boy's Name. That story inspired me to no end, and then it just disappeared :8(edited)

Cronaj

For me it is almost always Grand Spirit. (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/grand-spirit/list?title_no=6608) I fell in love with it back in 2015, and then it disappeared for 3 years until it returned unexpectedly in 2018. Aaaand then it disappeared again this past July without a word. So who knows, it could be another 3 years before they return... Or it could be forever. I mainly loved it because the idea was really something. When this comic was originally published, it was for the Webtoon sci-fi contest back in 2015 (which I didn't participate in because I didn't have a solid idea to work with). But naturally, the story is about... fairies. XD Robot fairies created by the humans with one program in mind: protect the grand spirit of nature that humans have destroyed. The main character, Wang Min, is one of these programmed fairies, but he realizes when he is injured and taken by a human to be repaired that he is a machine created by humans for their own purposes. I mean, beyond the amazing concept, I thought the whole comic was excellently done: good character designs, excellent pacing, beautiful artwork. All this things falling into place for the author. They actually got past the first round of the contest, which is pretty amazing, but they didn't go any further past that, even though I was rooting for them. And then after that... They went on their hiatus. It makes me wonder if maybe the creator wanted to make money from the comic, and once they discovered they weren't going to in the immediate future, they gave up. Very disheartening. There are plenty of other comics that I love that have either gone on indefinite hiatus or that have ended that I still think about, but Grand Spirit is the one I think about the most.

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

I still miss No Rest For The Wicked

Not to mention What Happens in Carpediem, which was on Smackjeeves, so I bet even if the artist wanted to come back they'd decide it was more trouble than it's worth.

Eightfish

It makes me sad how quickly people responded to this question ): I too know of several comics I wish would be continued. Such is the world of webcomics though. Also, you guys, stop with the descriptions. They're too good! You guys are tempting me into reading these comics but I know if I do it will only end in disappointment edit: what is that thing below this vvv(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Oh gosh, where do I start? So many over the years. One that stuck with me the most was an old, old comic from the early '00s called Fallen about a fallen angel of death. The humour was so quirky and good, but it also hit the drama and emotional beats really well. It's long since vanished after going on perma-hiatus, but 10+ years later, I still miss it. Another was Off-White. The art in that one was incredibly gorgeous. I'd link the site as it's technically still 'there' but the archives are either broken or missing. And finally, one that hasn't been officially announced as dead, but probably is, is White Noise. This comic has such great writing and atmosphere. Like Fallen, it really hit all the emotional beats so well and the build-up to big reveals was always pulled off superbly. Fortunately, the website for this one is still up and functional, and you can read what there is of it here: http://whitenoisecomic.com/(edited)

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

@Eightfish: the server has levels for every user based on how active you are -- the more you post, the more you level up! There's not a whole lot to it tbh, but there's a list of ranks and what comes with them in #rules

SAWHAND

Oh shoot! I remember Fallen @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) ! And I don't have a great memory for stuff like that, but that one really stayed with me.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh man, White Noise was one of the first webcomics I ever read, but I still have never made it through the whole archive. I lost it for a few years when I switched computers and I think when I remembered it again it had gone in that hiatus. I think that made it to hard to try and reread again :(

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

For sure. I never start a comic that’s already on hiatus. It’s too sad to get invested in something that might never continue.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

So for me I guess my White Whale of indefinite hiatus comics is this one called Scarecrow Lullaby. It was also one of my really early first webcomics and it wasn't like, the best comic in the world but it hit a lot of the spooky but cute notes that I like in a story. There was also something about the art and character tropes that really resonated with me and my own comics I was making at the time. So I felt kind of a kindred spirit connection with the comic in some ways. I've felt that for other comics too over the years, I figure that's probably not uncommon for folks but I don't really know? But anyway, the hiatus for this one just really haunted me almost because the creator just kind of disappear. Like there wasn't any goodbye post or anything. The comment section got wild on the last page with people speculating that she had died or something. There were people saying they were real life friends confirming that the artist was dead and then others saying no, she was still alive but wasn't planning to continue. I still go check in on it every few years just to see if there's any news. I think what makes me most sad about it isn't that the story didn't finish but just that the artist vanished. Like I wish I could follow her on Twitter or Instagram and see how she's been doing the past 10 years but if she has accounts they aren't under the same name. Just a big weird mystery! https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/ScareCrow_Lullaby/

RebelVampire

The comic I miss the most is Chronicles of Oro http://www.chroniclesoforo.com/ . I really loved how languages were handled in the comic, the character designs, the interesting world, etc. It was a really great start to a good fantasy story that really just hit all the right notes with me. It's only been 2 years since the last page was posted, but its been agony. However, unlike some of the other depressing tales, the creator does occasionally pop in to give a "It's not forgotten" status update, so maybe it will return one day.

mathtans

I'm gonna show my age here. "Elf Only Inn". http://www.elfonlyinn.net/ It started as a comic about internet chatrooms in 2002. After a few years it went on hiatus and rebooted itself as a comic about an MMORPG. As if the same users were using a new medium. Brilliant. It's been on indefinite hiatus since 2008. I still get a kick out of the "Nimoy" character being mistaken for an elf.

keii4ii

I too remember the comic Fallen @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) though I don't remember much of its humor, so not 100% sure if we're talking about the same Fallen? Is it the one where the human MC has a pet snake? I don't quite miss this comic, at least not in the sense of longing for its unlikely return. But it left an impression on me. Taught me an important lesson in writing character-driven stories. See, at the time I was chest deep in Chosen One stories and the likes, so I thought central twists had to be about what a character was. But Fallen showed me that a story could revolve around who a character is. It's such a basic lesson, and sometimes I feel dumb for not having learned it at an earlier age, but better a little late than super late!

It was a good comic, and I super appreciate what it did for the Younger Me.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@keii4ii It must be the same Fallen, because I def remember the MC having a pet snake.

keii4ii

Woo!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

The humour wasn’t terribly prevalent, but I remember when it surfaced, it always made me laugh out loud. The author also left snarky and often hilarious comments under the pages.

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

Oh, man, Elf Only Inn takes me back. Such a perfect distillation of free-for-all tween chatroom roleplaying. She's a princess mermaid elf who is also a vampyre(half)!! I'd love to see someone do a sequel/homage with present-day kids. Same kinds of jokes, but it's on a Discord server with 2019-style memes.

"Not everyone uses a 1024x768 screen size, so we're shrinking the comic." #just2002things http://www.elfonlyinn.net/d/20020705.html

Kabocha

Comics I miss... So, it's not even online now, because the author pulled all mirrors and was going to redo the site back in 2012, but I really miss Picatrix. It was kind of fundamental to getting me into webcomics at all, and I became friends with the author. It was kind of an isekai sorta deal - Main character ends up in another world with magic and stuff, finds out there's a prophecy that she's gotta fulfill. Only she wasn't reincarnated or anything. But also the whole, "oh crap arranged marriage to a king?!" plot? I was kinda into it. Especially with how Az and Winnie started off hating each other.

AntiBunny

I'd forgotten about Elf Only Inn. Really takes me back to those late nights of chatting on IRC.

€heshire777

Dr. McNinja is my first thought

Q @CecilieQMT making WAYFINDERS

Did that die?

AntiBunny

Dr. McNinja finished. The creator works as a pro in comics now, but he occasionally does a short. Like "Never Enough the Wario Diaries" that he's posting on Twitter right now.

Kelsey (Kurio)

What sorts of comics does he work with nowadays?