#its It Wasnt So Long Ago You Wanted To Slit My Throat To Find Out If My Blood Bleeds Blue

[cosmik-homo]

Listen im not saying To My Enemies by Saint Motel was written dirdctly and intentionally about 1991 fantasy series The Death Gate Cycle. Im just saying the lyrics make no sense in any other context.

Which is fine sometimes songs don't make Literal sense. But.

[impossiblyspookydestiny]

Rewatching disney Hercules

Been a long ass time and have forgotten most of it.

So...imma live stream it

Okay.

Intro, got a nicely animated museum. Nice and classy. Nice narrator...wait.

Wait...what? 'Greatest of them was Hercules.'

Umm...the 'was he a God' argument is still not answered. Some say yes others say no- shit got heated in the classics world over this shit.

But, it's the Hercules movie, so moving on...

Ooh, sassy muses...

Wait...five? There's nine in Greek mythology...who didn't make the cut? Did the animators just not wanna draw more?

I have questions...

Also, I'm sensing a future where I get very mad at this film.

The music is good at least.

Hahahhaha they've made Hera a doting mother.

Damn, talk about artistic license also...HERA WASNT HIS FUCKING MOTHER. ALCMENE WAS!!! fuck Disney, you couldn't get even that much right??

That's not where Pegasus came from...like...no. Just no.

I guess being born from your mothers dead body after Perseus cuts off her head is a bit much for a kids movie though...but this cloud crap? Really?

The Greek gods all look like skittles...Aphrodite head is shaped like a heart...dunno if its amusing or annoying.

Here comes disaster family member. ...Hades

'I can't party, I gotta work.' Why is this me when my unemployed family members bitch about me skipping events to earn money? Like...that is such a reasonable reason, also...he showed up despite having a shitty job that you all stuck him with.

How is Hades the bad guy here?

Underworld looks cool as fuck.

Oh God...the cartoon minions are gonna be as annoying as the gargoyles from hunchback.. and I'm gonna hate it.

Why call one Panic...WHY NOT JUST USE THE ACTUAL GOD OF PANIC...ITS GREEK MYTHOLOGY, THERES ONE ALREADY.

Grace's are annoying...but there's 3 with only 1 eye...that's more accuracy that I've been shown to expect.

Why are the Graces consulting?...they are meant to be impartial and act accordingly, where they falling over Hades over one with line of flattery? Gahh

Prophesy bullshit...well, at least it's in keeping with actual Greek mythology.

Did he....did he just have anti-God making potion on tap? Why? He wasnt planning to kill the baby till a minute ago...why did he have it?

Why give Hera's role of 'kill kid shenanigans' to Hades? Like...why?

Also...why is there apparently no security on Olympus? With how often shit goes down, you guys ain't discovered locks?

Reasonable reaction to newborn killing snakes...shock and fear.

Ahh...idiot plot. If the idiot minions hadn't been tasked with this shit, Hercules would be dead etch

Oof...sung narration is kinda painful.

I like the vase painting storytelling though.

Feotus Herc has chaotic twink energy

Rome wasnt built in a day...but Herc destroyed it in one.

Who pays for damages?

...angry villagers have a point...Herc is dangerous to be around normal mortals and it's a miracle no one was hurt.

He destroyed their town...I mean...point made.

Twinkules sings well.

Flee in terror from talking statue...logic. glorious reasoning.

You have God unmaking potion...but no god making potion...I call contrived bs for plot.

Also...I'm hoping this leads into 12 trials and I'll be annoyed if it doesn't cause it's the perfect follow up for earning God status.

Pegasus has the brain of a bird...we talking falcon or owl? Cause theres a big intellect gap between them.

Why not wings of bird and brain of octopus?...those things are hella fucking smart.

How did Hercules know where to find the trainer? Not like anyone gave him a map or directions.

Middle aged dude assaulting some nymphs...was that absolutely necessary?

Bitch talking about dreams...its been a few hours, you've had this dream for like an hour...chill!

Philgoat is surprisingly graceful.

Why is Philgoat speaking French?

I want a printed list of these Rules.

How is he somehow more gay when he is a hunk?

Damn...I'm in love with Megara already.

Use your head...does not mean headbutt. How is he still alive with minus 5 brain cells?

I too would be reduced to a babbling mess if Meg gave me that look.

Damn...she calling all men out!! Go her

And the idiot plot rises at last.

I wanna buy a sundial...why isnt there a cult following for sundial dude?

Philgoat reminds me of jackjack in demon form lol

Kids in the gorge...What is it with kids and gorges? Where are the parents?

Animation here seems off.

Dragon almost seems 3D in a 2D movie...kinda jarring. Oerall fight scene was kinda cool.

Sassy singing muses...always appreciated.

Hades and Yzma would get on well.

Megs ex is a fucking bastard.

Herc just claimed to have killed the minotaur, but...Theseus killed the minotaur, and I would know that myth...I did my dissertation on it ffs.

Ffs Disney...get just one damn thing right.

Artist vase man is a fucking mood.

Damn...Herc really gon need a girl to climb him like a tree to take a hint.

The Venus Di Milo origin story is brilliant.

Goofy smile is goofy and cute as heck.

Why ain't my friends ever busted into song when I'm an idiot about romance? I have been cheated by their lack of creativity in calling me a dumbasd.

Damn...'he's a guy,' Hades knows. Hades gets it.

They kidnapped the horse with ...horse lady. Okay...I can tolerate it.

Philgoat gives up easy.

Herc is human...just sedate him and kill him. How hard is that? He has to sleep right...sneak in and slit his throat...like...how hard is that?!?!?!?

....I will update eventually with the rest...but right now...I just cant.