#its 4:52am on a Saturday night.. morning

[virgil-isnt-a-lee]

Man.. I know it's been a minute since I've done anything but occasionally reblog shit but OH. MY. STARS. it's been a very long time since I've had a lee mood this bad. AND IT'S NOT EVEN MY FAULT HOLY SHIT

Send help the lee mood absolutely melted my brain

[loaksky]

— 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 & 𝒊 | 𝒆. 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒔

mean neighbor!ellie x sunshine fem!reader, angst / fluff / hurt + comfort, modern!au warnings: language / 18+ content (mdni!), wc: 5k

you have a hot new neighbor…too bad she doesn’t want a thing to do with you!

tagging those who commented / liked my previous interest post!: @loversreligion , @tahni-04 , @parrotpeggy , @acnologiasgf , @maybe-cece (happy birthday gemini queen ! <3)

an — first time writing for ellie ! content warnings include oral (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving). not my first time writing 18+ content, but my first time posting eeek. i apologize for the person ellie has turned me into lmaooo. feel free to send me more ideas, blurbs, hcs, etc.

neighbor!ellie who moves in on a hot sticky july day.

ac’s busted in the common areas, elevator hasn’t worked in weeks, and she’s moved into a unit on the fifth floor.

neighbor!ellie who’s admittedly too far gone and incredibly irritated because jesse keeps fucking around and they almost drop her flat screen on the third flight of steps.

neighbor!ellie who finally gets most of the boxes and furniture settled and doesn’t even get to collapse on the couch for .2 seconds before someone’s knocking on the door.

yanks the knob so hard, the door rattles on its hinges.

eyes narrow when she sees you, all neat, not sweaty, dressed in an outfit definitely not indicative of a night in. only makes her even more annoyed because she just wants two seconds of peace.

“yes?” her tone is sharp, gaze bored because your lips part thrice before the words are spilling out.

“i know it’s miserable out, and this building can be a piece of shit, so i made some blackberry tea!”

neighbor!ellie who gives the glass, beaded with condensation, a brief glance before crossing her arms over her chest.

“i’m allergic to blackberries,” ellie says flatly.

your round eyes widen impossibly before tucking the glass behind your back.

“oh fuck, i’m so sorry,” you babble. “i have peach! or maybe mint? i—”

“i’ll pass.”

neighbor!ellie who doesn’t beat around the bush and makes a move to close the door because she hadn’t even checked into the conversation.

“if you ever need anything, i’m right next door!” you chirp. “i’m-”

“yup, yeah, got it. good night.”

and the door is shutting in your face.

neighbor!ellie who’s trying to sleep in because she stayed up all night playing tekken 4 with jesse jolting awake when she hears three soft raps against the front door.

has an inkling of who it could be so she’s only mildly surprised when she sees you standing on the welcome mat that says ‘no weenies allowed’ because jesse thought it was the funniest thing (ellie’d been only slightly amused).

“morning,” you smile.

you have a plate covered in foil in your hands and ellie gives you a brief onceover to find that you’re dressed to the nines again (admittedly it’s just a simple sundress, but the red and white ginham cuts at the meatiest part of your thighs and she has to remind herself to keep her eyes up).

“it’s…” ellie trails off, glances at the clock on the oven to find that it’s not even 9am. “…8:52am on a saturday morning.”

“it is,” you agree, extending the plate to her. “i, uh, hope you’re not allergic to pancakes?”

“…i’m not.”

you beam.

“great!”

you’re shoving the food in her hands before she can decline and ellie finds that the ceramic is still warm.

neighbor!ellie who awkwardly holds the plate up to you as a silent thanks and shuts the door in your hopeful face.

“i gotta give it to you williams, didn’t think you’d pull within 24 hours,” jesse mutters groggily from the couch he’d helped her lug up the stairs yesterday afternoon.

“oh fuck off,” she huffs, tearing the foil from the plate to find a five-stack of fluffy pancakes with two cute little strawberry-shaped containers that has butter and syrup respectively.

“who’s it from?” jesse asks, even though he knows the answer.

“girl in 5a.”

first bite in and ellie’s eyebrows raise because wow, that’s damn good.

jesse swipes a bite despite ellie’s protests and they polish off the matching plate that she puffs a laugh at because there’s a strawberry bandit painted in the center and in shoddy lettering says, “this is a strobbery”

neighbor!ellie who surprises you by washing and returning the plate later that evening, muttering out a quick thanks before ducking back into her apartment without another word.

she leaves you blinking, staring at the space she was previously standing in a moment prior before you smile and shut the door because god ellie is so hot.

neighbor!ellie doesn’t expect it to become a routine, but more often than not, you’re knocking on her door at any given hour with snacks and she’s surprised when, a week and a half in, she’s had to do minimal grocery shopping because you’re always feeding her.

little does she know it’s because you’re looking forward to the brief moments that she’s unintentionally banging on your door to return your plates and dinnerware.

neighbor!ellie who’s a mechanic and brings your goodies to work sometimes and gets teased by the other mechanics because they think she has a girlfriend.

neighbor!ellie who after revealing she works in a garage starts opening up her front door to little reusable bags with cute notes and food puns if your schedule’s don’t line up.

neighbor!ellie whose schedule does end up frequently aligning with yours and you end up taking the same elevator down.

“morning, ellie,” you greet, smiling softly at her despite being up at the asscrack of dawn.

neighbor!ellie who yawns, takes the lunch you made for her gratefully and walks with you to the elevator.

“morning, 5a.”

neighbor!ellie who could get used to only seeing you in the fifth floor halls, however, after a few weeks, you stumble upon her in different circumstances.

you’re usually out on your balcony in the early mornings to water your plants and drink your tea or coffee, but today’s been exceptionally rough at work (you’re, surprise, a café owner) so you step out to take a deep breath late in the evening after your shift.

you definitely don’t expect to find ellie perched on a stool flicking the ash from a blunt over the railing.

“‘sup,” she hums, taking a long pull.

“hey,” you sigh.

“long day?” she humors you.

the two of you don’t really have much conversation because ellie’s always finding ways to cut interactions with you short.

and it’s not particularly because she doesn’t like you, but she’s caught the vibe you’re giving off and she doesn’t want to give you any unnecessary hope, especially after such a messy break up with the last girl.

(it’s definitely not because something about you makes her nervous).

so she doesn’t really expect you to spill, but one moment you’re debating whether or not you should divulge and the next you’re talking a mile a minute about how draining the job can be especially when employees end up being unreliable and the customers are impatient.

ellie’s gone through the entire joint and you still haven’t stopped talking and she doesn’t want to be mean, especially because you’ve been so nice to her since she’s moved in, but the high is wearing off because she’s too focused on finding an out of the one-sided conversation.

“you should come by,” you say, once you’re done babbling. “to the café, i mean. bring your friends, i’ll stay open a little later for you guys.”

that catches ellie’s attention after she’d zoned out.

“i— you don’t have to do that,” she says. “and i mean, we’re all pretty busy and—”

“no, no!” you say sweetly. “i insist! i wanna test out a few new seasonal recipes and i’d love some opinions!”

ellie’s wracking her brain, but you’re looking at her so hopefully and you look too cute with a few strands of hair falling from your updo. she really doesn’t want to give in, so she gives a lukewarm response instead.

“i’ll, uh, get back to you, i guess.”

you’re grinning.

“try to clear saturday night!” you tell her. “sometime around 9:30!”

ellie opens her mouth to give one last protest, but you’re standing from where you’d been leaning against the railing.

“it’ll be fun!” you tell her. “night, ellie!”

neighbor!ellie who really doesn’t want to go because she feels like it’ll only add fuel to the fire.

the beginning of the week rolls around and you decide that this’ll be the week you’ll finally ask ellie out.

you figure that ellie’s just really quiet, isn’t the one to really put herself out there, so you wanna take initiative.

you’re thinking of all the different recipes you could try because you really wanna wow her and her friends.

little does ellie know that you’re lowkey agonizing over saturday and it’s all you can think about: what you’ll wear, what pairings you want to present, how you’ll decorate the cafe.

meanwhile, ellie’s trying to find a way out of it and jesse’s not any help because he keeps teasing her about how she must be broken for not wanting her hot neighbor who has a glaringly obvious crush on her.

everyone on the whole floor, possibly even the whole building knows. hell, even the doorman knows (and it’s definitely not because you stop to chat with him frequently when you walk your little beagle, apple, and ellie becomes a frequent topic of conversation).

neighbor!ellie who starts avoiding you because she fears that her being receptive to your kindness is giving you the wrong idea (definitely not because you’re growing on her and you’re becoming a part of her daily routine).

neighbor!ellie who sees you twice the entire week, doesn’t answer the door when you knock, stuffs your cute little post-its about saturday somewhere in the back of her junk drawer, smokes her blunts on the roof to avoid running into on the balcony.

neighbor!ellie who spends most of her time at the garage with jesse and her coworkers in efforts to get home after you do.

you figure that maybe she is really busy and you shouldn’t have been so pushy about the tasting, but you’ve grown to really like her and you can’t give this up without officially giving it a shot.

neighbor!ellie who ducks out of her apartment when she knows you’re out on saturday and leaves her lights off, so you’ll know she isn’t home.

neighbor!ellie who spends the day with jesse and his girl and gets invited to a kickback on the otherside of town.

neighbor!ellie who’s about two joints in and a couple shots out, so she’s crossed by nine and you completely slip her mind.

you’re on the other side of town, about a block from your apartment, waiting in the cafe for ellie.

you made such a pretty spread of lavender matcha cookies and lemon muffins. used your special espresso roast to brew a delicious batch of coffee to make a few lattes.

you’d even bought flowers from next door, decorated the table and light a few candles.

it’s 9:45 and you think that she’s gonna be late, but time’s passing and the pastries are going stale, the coffee going lukewarm.

it’s 10:30 when you start losing hope.

probably 11:30 when you blow out the candles, box up the treats and throw the espresso in the cooler for some iced coffee tomorrow morning.

you should’ve seen it coming, really. she did say that her and her friends were typically busy. and she hadn’t officially confirmed it with you either so you were being rather presumptuous anyways.

you decide that maybe you’ll just drop them by her place tomorrow and ask her to lunch!

it’s about midnight when you walk up the sidewalk and see that her LEDs are on in her room. it vaguely smells like weed so you figure she’d been smoking a little.

you don’t wanna bother her so late at night so you enter your own apartment, set the box on the kitchen island before padding into your room to get ready for bed.

you should’ve seen it coming, ellie standing you up, but what you don’t see coming, or hear, for that matter, are the muffled moans through the paper thin walls.

you’d been used to hearing ellie cuss at her video games, heard her getting better at playing the guitar, bickering with jesse over who got to be who during smash bros, but this was new.

you’d never heard the voice before, pitched and whiny.

your cheeks warm because whatever ellie’s doing must be good. you can’t even find it in yourself to be relieved that ellie was interested in girls. you’d initially been scared that maybe you were reading into it all wrong.

regardless, obviously you’d read everything way way wrong because ellie’s mouth is filthy and there’s no misconstruing the fact that she’s fucking someone six ways to sunday and you can hear every gory detail.

your stomach is churning because it’s been weeks and you couldn’t even get ellie outside the fifth floor’s hallway.

it’s obvious they’re thoroughly enjoying themselves and the hurt and envy that kindles is an ugly sight to see.

you end up sleeping in the living room that night.

neighbor!ellie who chases the girl out the following morning after a nasty hangover and finally coming to terms with the fact that she’d brought someone home last night.

neighbor!ellie whose stomach drops to her ass when someone knocks on the door a few minutes later and she thinks it’s you, but it ends up being jesse.

“jesus, did 5a do that?” he asks, referring to your apartment number in regards to the fresh hickies blooming up the column of ellie’s throat.

“god no,” ellie says. “how many times do i have to tell you, that’s never happening.”

neighbor!ellie who would never tell a soul that she’d been imagining a certain someone the night prior.

neighbor!ellie who doesn’t want to think of anything more than being your neighbor because she’s locked in this lease for the next two years and she’d prefer to not shit where she sleeps.

(yeah, that’s totally it).

“dude why not? she’s obviously so down bad for you,” jesse chuckles, pushing past ellie.

she huffs a breath, defensive.

“god, i don’t know how she isn’t embarrassed, it’s fuckin’ pathetic.”

oh—

you’d heard jesse’s voice, then ellie’s, and figured you could give her the pastries you worked so hard on last night.

you’d always thought that ellie was just naturally aloof, kept to herself often, but last night was the coffin and this morning was the nail.

in the stillness of your apartment, jesse and ellie’s voice carries through the thin walls.

“i mean, you could just fuck her a couple of times, get it out of your system?”

“god, look at her, there’s not a casual bone in her body.”

“you can’t run away from her forever, yknow?”

neighbor!ellie who thinks to herself that she’ll try anyways.

neighbor!ellie who doesn’t have to try, because you become an enigma after that.

it’s the middle of the week and she hasn’t had to even try avoiding you once.

you haven’t knocked on her door since the week prior and it makes her brows furrow.

neighbor!ellie who starts feeling bad for standing you up, but feels infinitely worse when she goes to dump some of her trash and finds the carton of pastries you’d baked.

they have your café’s name emblazoned on the logo and she vaguely remembers you chattering about trying lavender in one of your recipes.

she sees the purple food coloring and her heart sinks because why are they in the trash? :(

realizes that she’s fucked up and that maybe she should just be completely transparent with you.

neighbor!ellie who hesitantly knocks on your door and waits patiently for you to answer.

hears shuffling on the other side, but you don’t open up.

neighbor!ellie who tries to convince herself that you’re just busy! work is stressful right now and you’re keeping to yourself.

but you two end up bumping into each other on the elevator (she’d been lurking), and you give her a curt greeting because you’re polite and you realize that ellie doesn’t owe you anything.

“apple’s got a haircut,” she observes, leaning down to pet the pup.

“yeah,” you hum.

“she looks cute,” ellie compliments.

“thanks.”

neighbor!ellie who’s not used to you icing her out, so she takes the leap.

“hey, i wanted to apologize…” she trails off. “about saturday. i shouldn’t have flaked.”

“s’okay,” you say simply, watching as the numbers painfully descend. “you were busy.”

a blanket of silence.

“i’m sure the pastries were great,” ellie tries again. “we could always—”

the elevator dings and the doors part.

“have a good day, ellie,” you say softly, tugging apple by the leash to leave the lift.

neighbor!ellie who swears she hears you sniffling on the other side of the wall later that night, but tries to convince herself that you’ve just got allergies.

neighbor!ellie who thinks of every excuse in the book to try and talk to you, but she ends up freezing because fuck, have you always been this pretty?

neighbor!ellie who buys a succulent and puts it on her balcony. she tries to catch you in the mornings when you’re watering your plants, but it seems like your schedules just don’t align anymore.

neighbor!ellie is frustrated as fuck because she’d been avoiding getting attached, but you don’t knock on her door to deliver snacks or talk her ear off anymore and it drives her absolutely nuts.

neighbor!ellie who gets teased infinitely more at work because her coworkers are now convinced that there’s ‘trouble in paradise’.

“jesus christ, you’re actually pathetic,” jesse rolls his eyes over breakfast one weekend.

“dude, she just…” ellie lets out a frustrated sigh. “i just—”

“you miss her,” he fills in.

ellie turns red.

“fuck you, i don’t—”

“it’s okay to admit it, yknow?” he says. “she’s a lot different from your exes. she’s genuinely sweet, in it because she really likes you.”

ellie swallows, lips pursing.

“you’re soft around her,” jesse observes. “you think that if you give in, she’s gonna uncover parts of you you don’t even let me or joel see.”

“fuck you—”

“for someone who likes bitches you—”

ellie groans.

neighbor!ellie who goes home and rolls a joint because this limbo is stressing her out.

and FINALLY! you’re watering your plants on your balcony when she slides the patio door open and slinks outside.

you don’t say anything to her, just continue watering.

she slumps in her folding lawn chair, kicking her feet up on the railing to feign nonchalance, but you haven’t blinked an eye at her and she’s annoyed.

“been doing alright?” she asks finally.

you freeze for the briefest of moments before glancing at her.

you’ve got bags under your eyes and your lips are pursed and ellie’s heart squeezes.

“yeah,” you answer simply. “fine.”

ellie hums.

“how’s work?”

“same old,” you say, turning your back to her to tend to the plants housed on the other side.

neighbor!ellie who doesn’t know what to say. who’s so used to trying to break conversation, not make them.

neighbor!ellie who fidgets because you’re making her nervous. you’re usually so sweet and smiley, but this side of you makes her gut churn.

neighbor!ellie who bites the bullet.

“i’m…i’m off on sunday…” she says, scratching the back of her neck. “if you wanted to— i dunno.”

your back straightens and she thinks you’re gonna bite, but you glance at the sidewalk below and shake your head.

“you don’t have to pretend, you know?” you say softly.

it’s like a punch in the chest and ellie’s scrambling.

“no! it’s—” she realizes she’s shouting. “it’s not like that, i—”

“i’m a big girl, ellie,” you tell her, that stupid little strawberry-shaped spray bottle squeezed tight in your hand. “if i was annoying, you could have just said that.”

and god she feels so fucking awful because this entire time, you’d just been trying to be nice to her. it was a harmless crush and—

“i don’t think you’re annoying,” she argues weakly. “can you…can you look at me, please?”

your head tilts up and ellie realizes that you’re trying to stop yourself from crying.

“god, i really am pathetic,” is your watery whisper.

ellie’s crossing the balcony, fully ready to climb over the railing onto your patio, but you’re quickly dashing away the tears and throwing the sliding door open.

“goodnight,” you tell her, and you’re sealing her out in the humid air.

neighbor!ellie who’s in knots because living next to someone she used to see everyday fucking sucks now that all the two of you are reduced to is straining extra hard to hear your shuffling from the other side of the walls.

neighbor!ellie who stands in front of your door sometimes, wanting to knock, but feeling like she doesn’t deserve closure with you because it’s all her fault.

neighbor!ellie who realizes that the very awkwardness and discomfort she was avoiding to begin with could’ve been avoidable had she just been up front with you.

you were sweet and you were understanding…mature. you would’ve probably taken better to honesty than ellie blowing you off and lowkey being an ass to you.

neighbor!ellie being scolded by jesse after a couple of days pass because he’s beating her ass at smash bros without even trying and it’s hurting his ego.

“are you seriously gonna keep moping over 5a?” he asks after the fourth round won.

“i’m not moping,” ellie grumbles.

“oh c’mon dude,” jesse moans in annoyance. “you and 5a have this dad with four kids who doesn’t want a puppy but ends up loving the shit out of the—”

“i do not love her,” ellie barks.

jesse smirks.

“that’s all you took from that, ellie, seriously?” jesse scoffs.

“i mean, it’s not like there’s much that can be done, anyways,” ellie grunts, tossing the video game controller onto the coffee table’s surface. “she fuckin’ hates me and i don’t blame her.”

“5a does not hate you,” jesse sighs. “her feelings are just hurt, but you can fix it.”

“and how’s that?” ellie crosses her arms over her chest.

“you’re a smart girl, you’ll figure it out.” jesse grabs the discarded controller from the coffee table and shoves it into ellie’s chest. “now put your all into this next round, i’m still gonna beat your ass.”

neighbor!ellie who’s never felt more nervous in her life.

who’s standing a block away from the café you own with a little gift bag and a bouquet of flowers.

neighbor!ellie who’s used to effortless relationships and casual situationships.

neighbor!ellie who’s scared shitless that she’s making the wrong decision giving in like this, but maybe jesse’s right and you’re just what she needs.

neighbor!ellie whose hands shake the entire walk up to the café.

she sees you with your back turned towards the door, probably doing closing inventory or something of the like with the way you scribble quickly against a clipboard.

you look so in your element with your apron tied tight around the narrow of your waist and perhaps now’s not the appropriate time, but your work pants look exceptionally great spread over the—

“i’m sorry, but we’re closed for the evening,” your voice sounds when ellie opens the front door and the chime tinkles against the glass.

“i’ll make it quick,” ellie says quietly, paper wrap around the flowers crinkling as she shifts on her feet.

you whirl around with wide eyes, almost dropping the clipboard when you find your neighbor standing in the middle of your café.

she looks so good in a fitted brown button up rolled to the elbow to reveal the whorls of ink decorating her forearms and skinny jeans that are way too good at highlighting the muscles of her thighs.

“ellie, what are you doing here?” you ask, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“i was, er, in the area?”

one of your eyebrows raise.

“well, is there something i can help you with?” you ask, eyeing the flowers and the giftbag in what ellie can only read as disdain.

it’s like the day you two first met all over again but the roles are reversed. her lips gape once, twice, then three times as she tries to find the words. but ellie’s never been good at talking about how she feels, at being vulnerable.

“i have to close up,” you prod, tone tired. “and whoever you’re visiting after this is probably waiting.”

the words after are a silent insinuation.

god knows i did.

you’re turning on your heel and ellie knows she’s losing you.

“i like you.” she says suddenly.

you freeze, fist tightening mercilessly around your clipboard.

“that’s not funny,” you say stonily. “you don’t have to make an ass out of me for having feelings for you, ellie. i get it, it’s hilarious that your dorky neighbor has a crush on you, but you don’t have to drag it. i’m—”

neighbor!ellie who’s always thought that you talk a tad too much and sets the gifts on the nearest table before crossing the distance between the two of you.

she’s towering over you and you’re looking up at her with furrowed brows as she pries the clipboard from your fingers and kisses you without another word.

“wait, wait,” you whisper, pulling away from her momentarily.

her lips chase yours, one hand splaying over the small of your back as the other cradles your chin.

“i’m sorry,” she says quietly. “i didn’t—”

“i don’t understand,” you admit. “you…you and your friend were—”

ellie shakes her head vehemently.

“i was being stupid,” she says quickly. “it’s—” she sighs. “it’s a long story.”

“but the night of the tasting,” you start. “you brought someone home…i heard you.”

ellie closes her eyes in defeat, rolls her lips as she presses her forehead against yours.

“it was a mistake, you have to believe me,” she pleads softly. “i was drunk out of my mind and high as hell and—”

she stops talking when she sees the expression on your face, notices the way your fingers hover.

“you have every right not to entertain this,” ellie swallows. “and i know i’ve been awful to you, but i…i really like you 5a.”

your head tilts down and ellie’s leaning forward in an effort to keep the eye contact.

“i’m not good at stuff like this,” she confesses. “obviously.”

you breathe out an involuntary laugh.

“but you’re different, really different,” ellie says. “and you make me feel so fuckin’ weird—”

you flinch.

“a good weird!” she assuages. “it’s good. and i really wanna try things with you if you’ll let me.”

you look hesitant, but ellie’s hopeful and you’ve always been a sucker for green eyes.

18+ BONUS

neighbor!ellie really wanted to take things slow with you after officially winning you over, but she can’t really help herself.

she takes you out a week after your heart-to-heart in your café, a nice restaurant you’d chattered about during your elevator rides to the lobby, and she’d been so close to making it through dinner and keeping it appropriate, but the dessert the two of you ordered had strawberries.

needless to say, when you’d taken a bite into the candied fruit and the juice curved down your jaw and slithered between your cleavage, ellie threw a wad of bills onto the table top and dragged you out of the restaurant.

didn’t make it far, ended up at the edge of the parking lot in the back seat of her car with two of her fingers knuckles deep in your heat while she swallowed your moans whole.

neighbor!ellie who takes you to hers after you cum twice and she tastes you for the first time.

“fuck, angel,” she whispers against your clit. “pussy’s too good.”

the sight is a devastating one, your skirt bunched around your waist and your top discarded somewhere on her bedroom floor.

one of your hands bunches her sheets in your fist, the other threaded through her brown hair as she eats you out like she’s absolutely starved.

“that’s it, princess,” she eggs you on, stuffing her fingers and curling against the walls of your spongy cunt. her tongue is sloppy against your little bud and your dulcet moans are buttery soft, absolute music to her ears.

that night seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back because she can’t get enough of you.

especially not when you wear that red and white gingham sundress you’d worn the second time the two of you met.

neighbor!ellie who spends so much time in your apartment now, likes to especially when you’re baking because you wear that stupidly tiny dress in your stupidly tiny kitchen and it takes every ounce of self control to keep her kisses on your exposed shoulders appropriate.

you start kneading the dough and she can’t keep her hands to herself, hooking her jaw into the crook of your neck as her fingers dance under the hem of your dress and ghosts the seam of your thighs.

“y’look so pretty,” ellie hums, tongue darting to lave at the juncture of your jaw and your neck.

“wait, ah!” fingertips trace over your mound and a semi-giddy, semi-disbelieving laugh rumbles from ellie’s chest when she finds you aren’t wearing any panties.

“you’re a dirty girl, angel,” she bites, one arm securing around your waist, the other toying with the slick coating your inner thighs. “what happened to getting work done?”

all you manage is a breathy cry when ellie skips the formalities and taps your clit roughly.

“el—ellie!” you whimper, one of your flour dusted hands wrapping around her wrist as your back arches and your ass presses into her hips.

your body stutters when you feel something nestle between the pert cheeks of your ass.

you throw a surprised look over your shoulder and ellie’s already grinning lazily at you as she continues kissing all over you.

“surprise,” she whispers.

neighbor!ellie who’s so gone. who still constantly gets teased by jesse and her coworkers. who wasn’t willing to admit it at first, but wants absolutely everything to do with you.

neng © 2023

[zed-air]

CKUA - The Midway: 2019

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The Midway was a special program which typically aired from 9:00am-12:00pm (or sometimes 10:00am-2:00) on CKUA from 2016-2019 during statutory holidays.

Click “keep reading” below for my 2019 Midway playlists.

Explore my playlist history for other dates and programs.

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TITLE • PERFORMING ARTIST • ALBUM • AIRTIME

2019-02-18 - 10:00-14:00 - The Midway

The Midway returns: February 18, 2019. The theme: escaping the winter with a radio road trip. Dandy dancers, groovy goodies, and seldom-seen souls await.

^^ listener recommendation ++ selected from CKUA’s “house blend” playlist ~~ today’s featured album: Various Artists: Ethiopian Urban Modern Music Vol 1 - Soul & Groove

Monday Morning • Pulp • Different Class • Mon 10:02AM

Backsliders • King of Foxes • Salt & Honey • Mon 10:06AM

In The Heat Of The Moment! • Noel Gallagher • Chasing Yesterday • Mon 10:09AM

Oh, The Wind Will Blow • Doug Hoyer • Walks With The Tender & Growing Night • Mon 10:14AM

Glory Hallelujah • Give ‘Em Hell Boys • Barn Burner • Mon 10:17AM

Tao Distante • Rei Rei Rei • Rei Rei Rei • Mon 10:24AM

Pluto’s Lament • The Olympians • The Olympians • Mon 10:31AM

What’d I Say (Pt. 1&2) • Ray Charles • Atlantic Gold: 100 Soul Classics • Mon 10:36AM

Sunny Afternoon • Tom Jones & Space • Reload • Mon 10:42AM

Tired Of Waiting For You • The Kinks • Kinda Kinks • Mon 10:47AM

Stayin’ Alive • The Bee Gees • Saturday Night Fever • Mon 10:49AM

The Man Who Sold the World • Lulu • B-Sides • Mon 10:57AM

Lipstick on Your Collar • Conny Froboess • German Rock & Roll • Mon 11:01AM

Yegenet Muziqa • Getatchew Mekurya • Ethiopian Urban Modern Music - Vol 1 • Mon 11:06AM ~~

Where Do You Belong? • Digits • Where Do You Belong? • Mon 11:09AM

Brazilian Flower • Jean-Jacques Perrey • World Bouquet • Mon 11:13AM

Backseat Heroine • Emma-Lee • Backseat Heroine • Mon 11:16AM

Breaking Down • Florence & The Machine • Ceremonials • Mon 11:20AM

Freeze, Melt, Boil • Quantum Tangle • Shelter as we go… • Mon 11:25AM ++

Tobacco Road • Mercury Rev • Bobbie Gentry’s The Delta… • Mon 11:31AM ++

Two Winters Long • Irma Thomas • We Sing The Blues • Mon 11:35AM

Static Resistance • Hookworms • Microshift • Mon 11:38AM ^^

The Ipcress File • Laika & The Cosmonauts • The Amazing Colossal Band • Mon 11:41AM

This Blue World • Elbow • The Take Off And Landing Of Everything • Mon 11:46AM

Driver’s Seat • Sniff ‘n’ the Tears • Driver’s Seat • Mon 11:53AM

Cold • Tanya Tagaq • Retribution • Mon 11:59AM

Cold Water • Matthew Good • Chaotic Neutral • Mon 12:06PM

4AM • Our Lady Peace • Clumsy • Mon 12:12PM

Muziqawi Silt • Wallias Band • Ethiopian Urban Modern Music - Vol 1 • Mon 12:17PM ~~

Flowers Become Screens • Delerium • Voice: An Acoustic Collection • Mon 12:21PM

Yes, I’m Your Angel • Yoko Ono • This Is 40 • Mon 12:27PM

As Tears Go By • Andrew Loog Oldham Orch • The Rolling Stones Songbook • Mon 12:32PM

Hasabe • Ayalew Mesfin • Ethiopian Urban Modern Music - Vol 1 • Mon 12:35PM ~~

Sunshine On My Back • The National & Sharon Van Etten • ______ • Mon 12:38PM

Galipoli • Beirut • ______ • Mon 12:48PM

Bury Me Deep • Kim Lenz • ______ • Mon 12:50PM

Satin Devil • The Dirty Dirty Devils • The DDD EP • Mon 12:52PM

Warm and Sunny Days • The Dears • No Cities Left • Mon 12:54PM

Runnin’ Down A Dream • Tom Petty • Greatest Hits • Mon 01:00PM ^^

Up The Wooden Hills To Bedforshire • The Small Faces • Absolutely The Best • Mon 01:06PM ^^

And She Was • Talking Heads • Little Creatures • Mon 01:08PM ^^

Blue Hawaii • The 427’s • Surf Noir (EP) • Mon 01:12PM ^^

Afternoon Delight • Will Ferrell & The Channel 4 News • Anchorman • Mon 01:16PM ^^

Drive • Lera Lynn • Resistor • Mon 01:20PM ^^

Que je suis • Thomas Dutronc • Eternels jusqu'a demain • Mon 01:23PM ^^

Poetry In Motion • Johnny Tillotson • Greatest Hits • Mon 01:29PM ^^

Hold the Line • Osyron • Hold the Line • Mon 01:33PM

Aynotchesh yerefu • Samuel Belay • Ethiopian Urban Modern Music - Vol 1 • Mon 01:40PM ~~

Michelle • Chet Atkins • Chet Picks on the Beatles • Mon 01:45PM

Suck It and See • Arctic Monkeys • Suck It and See • Mon 01:46PM

The Letter • The Arbors • Rock Archive • Mon 01:50PM

I’ll Be Seeing You • Francoise Hardy & Iggy Pop • Triple Best • Mon 01:53PM

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2019-04-19 - 09:00-12:00 - The Midway

The Midway returns for its annual one and only Friday show of the year, April 19, 2019. The theme: funeral songs. For some, a sombre or pithy reflection. For others, a sentimental soundtrack - or even a jolly celebration. Some of these songs have become legends unto themselves, while others have birthed new traditions. Enjoy a wickedly woke wake as we explore some famous funeral tunes, and invite listeners to get in touch with their own bury melodies.

^^ listener recommendation

Friday on My Mind • The Easybeats • Rock Hits • Fri 09:00am

Morning Has Broken • Cat Stevens • Best of • Fri 09:03am

Life on Mars? • David Bowie • Hunky Dory • Fri 09:08am

Nunca Es Sufciente • Natalia Lafourcade • Hasta La Raiz • Fri 09:12am

Anne of 1000 Days • John Moore • Knickerbocker Glory • Fri 09:21am

Johnny Remember Me • John Layton • Joe Meek Anthology • Fri 09:24am

Don’t Think Twice (It’s Alright) • Heinz & the Wild Boys • Joe Meek Anthology • Fri 09:26am

Telstar • The Tornados • Joe Meek Anthology • Fri 09:28am

Señor Burns • Tito Puente and his Latin Jazz Ensemble • Go Simpsonic With the Simpsons • Fri 09:33am

Don’t Look Back in Anger • Oasis • (What’s the Story) Morning Glory • Fri 09:39am

Changing Times • Iwan Rheon • Iwan Rheon • Fri 09:42am

Instant Crush • Daft Punk • Random Access Memories • Fri 09:45am

Strange Brew • Cream • Disraeli Gears • Fri 09:51am

Layla • Le Onde Bleu • Italian Rock & Roll Hits • Fri 09:56am

He’ll Have To Go • Jim Reeves • Greatest Hits • Fri 10:00am ^^

We’ll Meet Again • Johnny Cash • American IV • Fri 10:05am

When I Go Away • Levon Helm • Electric Dirt • Fri 10:08am ^^

Play Hank Williams At My Funeral • The Give ‘Em Hell Boys • Barn Burner • Fri 10:14am ^^

When the Deal Goes Down • Bob Dylan • Modern Times • Fri 10:17am

To Catch a Shad • The Modern Folk Quartet • Quartet • Fri 10:24am

Stairway To Heaven • Neil Sedaka • Greatest Hits • Fri 10:27am

Don’t Dream It’s Over • Sixpence None the Richer • ______ • Fri 10:31am

The Winner Takes It All • ABBA • Gold • Fri 10:39am

Luckenback, Texas • Waylon & Willie • Biggest Hits • Fri 10:42am ^^

Quarter on the Ground • Matt Andersen • Halfway Home By Morning • Fri 10:46am

Leave Your Body Behind You (live) • Richard Hawley • Live at the Devil’s Arse • 10:55am ^^

My Way • Frank Sinatra • My Way • Fri 11:00am

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life • Monty Python • Sings • Fri 11:06am ^^

Monster Mash • Bobby “Boris” Pickett • Cool Goul • Fri 11:12am ^^

Bear Cat • Rufus Thomas • Mojo Rock Rock • Fri 11:14am ^^

Your Long Journey • Robert Plant & Allison Krauss • Raising Sand • Fri 11:18am ^^

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien • Edith Piaf • Anthologie • Fri 11:22am ^^

Leaving the Table • Leonard Cohen • You Want It Darker • Fri 11:25am ^^

Last Kiss • Coeur de Pirate • Trauma • Fri 11:31am ^^

Heart of Gold (live) • Colleen Brown & Amy Van Keeken • Live at CKUA • Fri 11:38am ^^

Motion Picture Soundtrack • Radiohead • Kid A • Fri 11:43am

Without You • Badfinger • Greatest Hits • Fri 11:44am

Don’t Worry, Be Happy • Bobby McFerrin • Best of • Fri 11:50am ^^

Lay Me Low • Nick Cave • Let Love In • Fri 11:55am

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2019-05-20 - 09:00-12:00 - The Midway

Today’s theme: we’re diving under the covers once again - featuring some of our favourite cover versions throughout this three-hour program. We’re also featuring several tracks from the upcoming new album Further from Richard Hawley. As always, listeners are invited to get in touch with their favourite cover versions of songs, many of which we’ll feature in the final hour of the show. There’s also an abundance of leftover listener recommendations from the last Midway, so I’ll be peppering this program with some of the more relevant pieces. 

^^ listener recommendation ++ selected from CKUA’s “house blend” playlist ~~ today’s featured album: Richard Hawley: Further

My Little Treasures • Richard Hawley • FURTHER • 11:56am ~~

Tweeter And The Monkey Man • The Headstones • PICTURE OF HEALTH • 11:52am ^^

It Don’t Mean A Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing) • Joe Jackson • THE DUKE • 11:47am ^^

I’ve Been Working On The Railroad • Buckwheat Zydeco • CHOO CHOO BOOGALOO • 11:43am ^^

Wild Horses • The Flying Burrito Brothers • HOT BURRITOS! • 11:37am ^^

Darling Be Home Soon • Tedeschi Trucks Band • EVERYBODY’S TALKIN’ • 11:30am ^^

Ornament 3 • Vanessa Wagner • INLAND • 11:26am

Slow Show • Coeur De Pirate • TRAUMA • 11:21am ^^

Say You Don’t Mind • Colin Blunstone • SAY YOU DON’T MIND • 11:17am ^^

Save the Last Dance For Me • The Shanes • ANTHOLOGY • 11:16am

Oh Well • Billy Gibbons • JUST TELL ME THAT YOU WANT ME • 11:10am ^^

Hang On To Your Ego • Frank Black • MAMA TOLD ME NOT TO COME • 11:06am ^^

Fille ou Garcon • Stone • FRENCH ROCK HITS • 11:05am ^^

Oh! Darling • Robin Gibb • SGT. PEPPERS LONELY HEARTS CLUB • 10:58am ^^

Alone • Richard Hawley • FURTHER • 10:55am ~~

Maps • Yeah Yeah Yeahs • FEVER TO TELL • 10:50am

Over The Rainbow & What A Wonderful World • Israel Kamakawiwo'ole • FINDING FORRESTER • 10:43am ^^

Ashes to Ashes • Lassigue Bendthaus • POP ARTIFICIALE • 10:39am

Get Back • Laibach • LET IT BE • 10:34am

Let It Be • The Beatles • LET IT BE • 10:28am

Michelle • Chet Atkins • PICKS ON THE BEATLES • 10:24am

The Best Is Yet To Come • Frank Sinatra & Count Basie • SINATRA & BASIE • 10:21am

Blue Jean Bop • Gene Vincent & the Blue Caps • MORE KINGS OF ROCKABILLY • 10:17am

Hey Hey, My My • Ume • TOO BIG WORLD EP • 10:14am

Cuidado • Grupo Fantasma • AMERICAN MUSIC: VOL VII • 10:07am ++

Angel • Lucette • DELUXE HOTEL ROOM • 10:05am ++

Changing Times • Iwan Rheon • IWAN RHEON • 10:00am

You Showed Me • The Turtles • GREATEST HITS • 9:56am ^^

Turn Off the Moon • The Primitives • ECHOES AND RHYMES • 9:51am

Heart of Stone • The Rolling Stones • GRRR! • 9:46am

Heart of Stone • Ashes and Dreams • HEART OF STONE • 9:41am

Journey • Sarah Nixey • NIGHT WALKS • 9:37am

Off My Mind • Richard Hawley • FURTHER • 9:35am ~~

Backsliders • King Of Foxes • SALT & HONEY • 9:31am

Chain Gang • King Curtis • Chain Gang • 9:26am

Doris Day • Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps • SOMETHING FOR EVERYBODY • 9:23am

All Along The Watchtower • Jimi Hendrix • ELECTRIC LADYLAND • 9:19am

Rock This Town • Brian Setzer Orchestra • THE DIRTY BOOGIE • 9:13am

I Call Your Name • The Buckinghams • GREATEST HITS • 9:11am

Bye Bye Blackbird • Ringo Starr • SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY • 9:06am

Monday Morning • Pulp • DIFFERENT CLASS • 9:00am

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2019-07-01 - 09:00-12:00 - The Midway

Today’s theme: live music season is here, and we’re featuring celebrated live recordings on the program. Heck, as soon as I finish Monday’s show, I’m hitting the road to Edson to play a concert myself! As always, listeners are invited to get in touch with their favourite live concert memories and live albums, many of which we’ll feature in the final hour of the show. Let us know what you’re most looking forward to seeing and hearing this festival season, and what CKUA listeners simply mustn’t miss!

^^ listener recommendation ~~ today’s unexpected theme: odd Kraftwerk coincidences for historical events from July 1st.

Tour de France (live) • Kraftwerk • MINIMUM MAXIMUM • 11:55am ~~

Famba • Mbira Renaissance Band • FAMBA • 11:49am

EGBG (single edit) • Boreal Kinship • EGBG • 11:44am

High Hopes (live)  • Pink Floyd • PULSE • 11:35am

Hallelujah • Leonard Cohen • LIVE IN DUBLIN • 11:27am ^^

Changes • Phil Ochs • IN CONCERT • 11:21am ^^

I’ll Get You (live) • The Beatles • ANTHOLOGY • 11:17am

The Hour • Valerie June • PUSHIN’ AGAINST A STONE • 11:13am ^^

Impossible Germany (live, 2012) • Wilco • ASHES OF THE AMERICAN FLAG • 11:04am

Not the News • Thom Yorke • ANIMA • 10:59am

Dream • Rebekah Higgs • SHA LA LA • 10:55am

Vitamin C • Nicole Atkins • VITAMIN C • 10:51am

Kometenmelodie (live) • Kraftwerk • AUTOBAHN (LIVE) • 10:44am ~~

Tao Distante • Rei Rei Rei • TAO DISTANTE • 10:37am

Dirty Eyes • Sweet Vintage Rides • ROAD TRIP • 10:30am

Love Shack • The B-52’s • GREATEST HITS • 10:23am

Breathing Underwater • Metric • SYNTHETICA • 10:19am

Keep the Customer Satisfied • Simon & Garfunkel • OLD FRIENDS • 10:14am

Northern Lights (live, 2012) • Doug Hoyer • REC-YEG PROJECT - CONCERT SESSIONS • 10:10am

Honky Tonk Women • The Rolling Stones • GET YER YA-YA’S OUT! • 10:05am ^^

Last Year’s Prom Dress • The Bolt Actions • TBA EP • 9:59am

I Shall Be Released • The Band • MUSIC FROM BIG PINK • 9:54am

S.O.S. • ABBA • GOLD • 9:50am

Hound Dog • Elvis Presley • GREATEST HITS • 9:45am

Hanging On The Telephone • Blondie • ATOMIC BLONDIE • 9:40am

The Telephone Call • Kraftwerk • TECHNO POP • 9:33am ~~

Crash Years • The New Pornographers • TOGETHER • 9:25am

Hippy Hippy Shake • Chan Romero • AMERICAN ROOTS OF THE UK INVASION • 9:23am

Everybody Needs Somebody To Love • The Blues Brothers Band • BLUES BROS • 9:19am

Wang Dang Doodle • Willie Dixon • WANG DANG DOODLE • 9:15am

Maggie’s Farm (live, 1965) • Bob Dylan • NO DIRECTION HOME • 9:11am

Polka Dot Undies • Bowser and Blue • DR. DEMENTO 30TH • 9:04am

Monday Morning • Pulp • DIFFERENT CLASS • 8:59am

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2019-08-05- 09:00-12:00 - The Midway

Today’s theme: celebrating the life and legacy of music documentarian D.A. Pennebaker, who died last week. He was the man behind two iconic Bob Dylan films in 1965-1967, as well as The Monterey Pop Festival, Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, and more. Get in touch with your favourite concert films; listener recommendations featured in hour 3.

^^ listener recommendation ~~ today’s theme: music related to the documentary films of D.A. Pennebaker, who died a few days ago.

Holiday (2012) • The Bolt Actions • THE BOLT ACTIONS • 11:56am

Let Down (Remastered) • Radiohead • OK COMPUTER • 11:51am ^^

Comfortably Numb • Pink Floyd • PULSE • 11:40am ^^

Peaches En Regalia • Zappa Plays Zappa • ZAPPA PLAYS ZAPPA • 11:37am

Carry On • Doug Hoyer • CHARACTER WITNESS • 11:30am

At The Hop • Sha Na Na • WOODSTOCK (SOUNDTRACK) • 11:25am ^^

30 Century Man • Scott Walker • SCOTT 3 • 11:23am ^^

I Will Follow • U2 • Greatest Hits • 11:19am ^^

Don’t Look Back In Anger • Oasis • DON’T LOOK BACK IN ANGER • 11:14am ^^

This Must Be The Place (live) • Talking Heads • STOP MAKING SENSE • 11:07am ^^

Rock ‘N’ Roll High School • Ramones • LOUD, FAST RAMONES • 11:05am ^^

Life is a Carnival • The Band • THE LAST WALTZ • 11:00am ^^

Tears Begin to Fall • The Persuasions • THE PERSUASIONS SING ZAPPA • 10:58am

When You Wore a Tulip • Bill and the Belles • DREAMSONGS, ETC • 10:55am

Ram Rod • Duane Eddy • COLLECTION • 10:49am

Boys Night Out • Patti Page • COLLECTION • 10:47am

Rock 'n’ Roll Suicide • Black Box Recorder • WORST OF BLACK BOX RECORDER • 10:44am ~~

Look Back in Anger • David BowIe • LIVE AT THE BBC • 10:38am ~~

The Man Who Sold The World • Nirvana • MTV UNPLUGGED IN NEW YORK • 10:33am ~~

Sabotage • Beastie Boys • ILL COMMUNICATION • 10:30am

Tomorrow Never Knows • The Beatles • REVOLVER • 10:25am

Wild Thing • Jimi Hendrix • LIVE AT WINTERLAND • 10:20am ~~

California Dreamin’ • The Mamas & The Papas • MONTEREY POP • 10:17am ~~

Shake • Otis Redding • OTIS BLUE • 10:14am ~~

My Generation (Stereo) • The Who • MY GENERATION • 10:11am ~~

Having a Wild Weekend • The Dave Clark 5 • GREATEST HITS • 10:07am

Over Under Sideways Down • The Yardbirds • ROCK: THE TRAIN KEPT A ROLLIN’ • 10:04am

Hang On Sloopy • The McCoys • CLASSIC ROCK: 1965 • 9:59am

Goodbye To You • Scandal • JUKEBOX MEMORIES • 9:54am

Emilina Says • Richard Hawley • FURTHER • 9:49am

Crying • Julian Lage • LOVE HURTS • 9:41am

Ballad of a Thin Man • Bob Dylan • HIGHWAY 61 REVISITED • 9:35am ~~

25 Minutes To Go • Johnny Cash • LIVE AT FOLSOM PRISON • 9:30am

Beat Surrender • The Jam • GREATEST HITS • 9:24am

You Spin Me Round • Dead Or Alive • ROCK ALMANAC • 9:19am

Shy Boy (Don’t It Make You Feel Good) • Bananarama • NEW WAVE HITS • 9:16am

Too Shy • Kajagoogoo • 80’S WAVE • 9:12am

Hush • Deep Purple • ROCK LINE 3 • 9:06am

Monday Morning • Pulp • DIFFERENT CLASS • 9:02am

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2019-09-02 - 09:00-12:00 - The Midway

Today’s theme: “bad ideas?” (please note the question mark). Some ideas begin with the best of intentions, but you know what they say about good intentions. Strange side-projects, dumbfounding duets, questionable concepts, clunky covers, and more - as well as some bona fide gems. Albums; songs; musicals; crossovers; you name it. Get in touch with your favourite wayward labours of love and potentially bad ideas; listener recommendations featured in hour 3.

^^ listener recommendation ~~ today’s theme: were these songs bad ideas?

Cliffs of Dover • Eric Johnson • GREATEST HITS • 11:56am

Satumaa • Frank Zappa & the Mothers • YOU CAN’T DO THAT ON STAGE ANYMORE • 11:53am ~~

Satumaa • Reijo Taipale • LEGENDAT • 11:48am

Bohemian Rhapsody • The London Symphony Orchestra • CLASSIC ROCK • 11:42am ~~

I Can’t Get Behind That • William Shatner & Henry Rollins • HAS BEEN • 11:39am ~~ ^^

Spinning Wheel • Engelbert Humperdinck & Gene Simmons • ENGELBERT CALLING • 11:33am ~~

I Walk the Line • Dolly Parton • THE GREAT PRETENDER • 11:27am ~~

Save the Last Dance For Me • Dolly Parton • THE GREAT PRETENDER • 11:23am ~~ ^^

Another Bad Idea • Bob Schneider • A PERFECT DAY • 11:18am ~~ ^^

Everybody Loves Somebody • Wayne Newton • EVERYBODY LOVES SOMEBODY • 11:16am ~~

We Wish You a Merry Xmas • Border Brass • TIJUANA XMAS • 11:11am ~~

I Want You (She’s So Heavy) • The Assembled Multitude • S/T • 11:08am ~~

Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds • William Shatner • THE TRANSFORMED MAN • 11:02am ~~

California Sun ‘65 • The Rivieras • THE RIVIERAS • 10:56am ~~

The Story of the Return of the Red Baron • The Royal Guardsmen • HAVE A MERRY SNOOPY CHRISTMAS • 10:52am ~~

Downtown • Mrs Miller • DR DEMENTO’S 30TH • 10:49am ~~

Devil In Disguise • Richard Hawley • LIVE AT THE DEVIL’S ARSE • 10:44am

Don’t Think Twice (It’s Alright) • Elvis Presley • OUR MEMORIES OF ELVIS VOL 2 • 10:40am ~~

Are You Satisfied? • Clint Eastwood • SINGS COWBOY FAVOURITES • 10:39am (Mystery Artist #3) ~~

Hellcat Smoke • The Dirty Dirty Devil’s • SATIN DEVIL DIARIES • 10:28am

Child In Time • Ian Gillan • CHILD IN TIME • 10:21am ~~

Under My Thumb • Streetheart • GREATEST HITS • 10:14am ~~

A Little Dab’ll Do Ya • Brylcreem • VINTAGE COMMERCIALS • 10:13am

Do You Remember These? • The Statler Brothers • ALL THOSE YEARS AGO • 10:11am

Coming Right Up • Bruce Willis • THE RETURN OF BRUNO • 10:08am (Mystery Artist #2) ~~

Gimmie Dat Ding • Pipkins • SUPER HITS OF THE 70S • 10:03am

Bear Cat • Rufus Thomas • MOJO (DECEMBER 2004) • 9:58am ~~

Blistered • That Pedal Show Band • OX EP • 9:53am

Love On A Farmboy’s Wages (2001 • XTC • LOVE ON A FARMBOY’S WAGES • 9:47am

Love Machine • The Miracles • MOTOWN GOLD • 9:42am

Here Comes the Night • The Beach Boys • DISCO SINGLE • 9:41am (Mystery Artist #1) ~~

Sunny Afternoon • The Kinks • ANTHOLOGY • 9:29am

Bonanza • Johnny Cash • RING OF FIRE • 9:26am

Love Potion No 9 • Nancy Sit • JAPANESE GIRL GROUPS • 9:25am ~~

Per vivere insieme (Happy Together) • Brenda Bis • ITALIAN 60S BEAT • 9:18am ~~

Witch Doctor • Warner Hass • LOST GERMAN POP HITS • 9:16am ~~

This Is The Place • Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds • THIS IS THE PLACE (SINGLE) • 9:09am

End Of A Centuary • Blur • THE BEST OF BLUR • 9:06am

Monday Morning • Pulp • DIFFERENT CLASS • 9:02am

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2019-10-14 - 09:00-12:00 - The Midway

Today we’re featuring fashion-forward favourites, along with a few thrifty threads and recycled rhythms along the way. And, of course, we’d be remiss to not include at least a few covers under the circumstances. Get in touch with your favourite stylish songs; listener recommendations featured in hour 3.

We’ll also be featuring an interview and music from Edmonton band The Dirty Dirty Devil’s, who will be making their theatrical live debut at Festival Place on October 30.

^^ listener recommendation ~~ today’s theme: songs relating to fashion and style to make you smile ++ featured album: The Vogues’ re-recorded Greatest Hits from the mid-1970s

Monday Morning • Pulp • DIFFERENT CLASS • 09:03

This Is The Place • Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds • THIS IS THE PLACE • 09:09

Blue Monday • New Order • 20 YEARS OF NEW ORDER • 09:13

She Blinded Me With Science (remix) • Thomas Dolby • ______ • 09:18

Sci-Fi • Cliff Richard • ROCK & ROLL JUVENLILE • 09:23

She Bop • Cyndi Lauper • SHE’S SO UNUSUAL • 09:30

It’s My Party • Dave Stewart & Barbara Gaskin • IT’S MY PARTY • 09:35

Atomic • Blondie • ATOMIC BLONDIE • 09:39

Happy Together • The Vogues • GREATEST HITS • 09:47 ++  ~~

You’re the One • The Vogues • GREATEST HITS • 09:50 ++  ~~

Holding On • The War On Drugs • A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING • 09:53

Who Stole the Keeshka? • Frankie Yankovic • SUPER POLKA • 10:00

Wild Horses • The Flying Burrito Brothers • 20TH CENTURY MASTERS • 10:04 ^^

Last Year’s Prom Dress (2012) • The Bolt Actions • THE BOLT ACTIONS EP • 10:09

Pink Pedal Pushers • Carl Perkins • RESTLESS • 10:18 ~~

Lippenstift Am Jacket • Conny Froboess • GERMAN ROCK & ROLL FAVOURITES • 10:21 ~~

Style • Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Dean Martin • SINATRA IN HOLLYWOOD • 10:23 ~~

Heroes / Helden • David Bowie • CHRISTIANE F. • 10:29

Hellcat Smoke • The Dirty Dirty Devil’s • THE SATIN DEVIL DIARIES • 10:36

Interview • The Dirty Dirty Devil’s • DIRTYDIRTYDEVILS.COM • 10:38

Ain’t No Stopping Love Now • The Dirty Dirty Devil’s • THE SATIN DEVIL DIARIES • 10:41

Interview • The Dirty Dirty Devil’s • DIRTYDIRTYDEVILS.COM • 10:48

Satin Devil • The Dirty Dirty Devil’s • THE SATIN DEVIL DIARIES • 10:51 ~~

My Chainsaw • Gurf Morlix • THE SOUL AND THE HEAL • 10:54

Red Right Hand • Nick Cave • LET LOVE IN • 11:01 ^^ ~~

You Can Leave Your Hat On • Joe Cocker • THE LIFE OF A MAN • 11:09 ^^ ~~

Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress) • The Hollies • SOUNDS OF THE 70s • 11:13 ^^ ~~

Dedicated Follower Of Fashion • The Kinks • SINGLES • 11:18 ^^ ~~

Short Skirt/ Long Jacket • Cake • COMFORT EAGLE • 11:21 ^^ ~~

In These Shoes? • Kirsty MacColl • TROPICAL BRAINSTORM • 11:24 ^^ ~~

These Boots Are Made for Walkin’ • Nancy Sinatra • BOOTS • 11:29 ^^ ~~

Sharp Dressed Man • ZZ Top • ELIMINATOR • 11:33 ^^ ~~

Fashionable People • Joel Plaskett • ASHTRAY ROCK • 11:39 ^^ ~~

New Shoes • Paolo Nutini • THESE STREETS • 11:43 ^^ ~~

Groovin’ • The Vogues • GREATEST HITS • 11:48 ++ ~~

Five O'Clock World • The Vogues • GREATEST HITS • 11:50 ++  ~~

Nobody Does It Better • Carly Simon • CLOUDS IN MY COFFEE • 11:54

In Four Dimensions • Delerium • SPHERES II • 11:57

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2019-11-11 - 09:00-12:00 - The Midway

The final Midway of 2019 will be bisected at 10:00 by a special hour-long program in observation of Remembrance Day. We will bookend the special program with music, stories, and the spoken word. Get in touch with your favourite unsung heroes; listener recommendations featured in hour 3.

^^ listener recommendation ~~ today’s theme: spoken word pieces

Monday Morning • Pulp • DIFFERENT CLASS • 09:01

Common People • William Shatner (w/ Joe Jackson) • HAS BEEN • 09:05 ~~

It Kills • Afghan Whigs • DO THE BEAST • 09:13

Heart of Stone • Ashes and Dreams • HEART OF STONE • 09:15

High In The Satellite • Dustin Bentall • HIGH IN THE SATELLITE • 09:20

Vlamertinghe: Passing the Chateau • Edmund Blunden • WAR POEMS • 09:24 ~~

The Ballad of Hollis Brown • David Lynch • THE BIG DREAM • 09:29 ~~

Entanglement • Imogen Heap • SPARKS • 09:37

The Dug Out • Sigfried Sassoon • WAR POEMS • 09:41 ~~

Trouble • Coldplay • PARACHUTES • 09:41

On a Clear Day (You Can See Forever) • Matt Monro • BEST • 09:49

Hard Times • Olenka & the Autumn Lovers • HARD TIMES • 09:51

Memories • The Burning Hell & Katie Baggs • THE BARD OF MONTREAL • 09:55

>>> No Stone Left Alone Remembrance Day Special • 10:00-11:00

Silence • 11:00

The Rouse • T. Lee • CEREMONIALS • 11:02

In Flanders Fields • Leonard Cohen • LEGION • 11:02 ^^

In Flanders Fields • Farnham Youth Choir • BBC SONGS OF PRAISE • 11:03

Łyßqi (Whisky) • Van Der Zyl • EARLY WORKS • 11:07

Remembrance • Delerium • KARMA • 11:11

Watertrance • Tuatara & Coleman Barks • THE HERE AND THE GONE • 11:18 ^^ ~~

R. Kipling: If • Michael Caine • READS KIPLING • 11:24 ~~

If • Pink Floyd • ATOM HEART MOTHER • 11:26

Theme From Cyrano • William Shatner • THE TRANSFORMED MAN • 11:33 ~~

Mr. Tambourine Man • William Shatner • THE TRANSFORMED MAN • 11:37 ^^ ~~

The Band Played Waltzing Matilda • The Pogues • THE VERY BEST • 11:42 ^^

Dulce Et Decorum Est • Wilfred Owen • ECCLESTON READS OWEN • 11:50 ~~

Warrior • Steve Earle • THE REVOLUTION STARTS NOW • 11:52 ^^

Happens To The Heart • Leonard Cohen • THANKS FOR THE DANCE • 11:56 ^^

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 7: Get in the Car Loser

What happened during the in between time of move in day and the 1st day of second term? Total. Fuckery….These next chapters is what happened in those 11 days.

It’s day 5 and I really want school to start so I can learn something instead of losing brain cells. Tokoyami and I calmed down with the night visits because Iida is cucking us. The boys still like having me on their side of the dorms. Robo-dog is put together but Jin is still tinkering with the AI. Everyone is pestering me about either the ‘mystery boy’ or to copy their quirks. Sneaking out still isn’t as easy as sneaking back in.

It’s Saturday and I wake up in my own bed great, another day to deal with these crackheads. As I get my bathroom caddy, I get a knock at my door, it’s 8:45am who would possibly be bothering me at this time?

“who is it?”

no response

“WHO. IS . IT?!”

faint screaming from down the hall

F U C K my brain switched from I need coffee to solo operation: SAVE THE CRACKHEADS. I got my utility belt with stun and net gun along with my switch blade and I was ready to take on the danger. I open the door and roll out to scout the area, nobody. I walk up and down the boy’s dorms, nobody but the doors were open. I check each room and bathroom, nobody but there’s signs of being suddenly taken or disrupted. I think is this the work of a villian? can’t be a prank because Iida or Koda wouldn’t take part. Then I remembered, the girls! I pass the commons room and open kitchen, same thing. I checked outside for anything, nobody and no sign of forced entry. I check the girls dorm and it was like the boys, same with the bathroom. I get into high alert and I ping Mimi and Jin.

“This is Palma to Oleshin and Matsui!”

“Oleshin here/Matsui here”

“I am on high alert code Yellow”

“Are you hurt?!/What is your location?”

“I am not hurt and I am in the hero dorms.”

“Do you need back up?/Stay on the line as I connect to everyone’s earpiece”

“Please come! Everyone is gone and I heard screaming”

“We are on our way/ Everyone is connected and on stand by”

“Be cautious, suspect may be lurking.”

“Roger that/Roger that, deploying portal now”

Mimi and Jin roll out of the portal with support items and more weapons. 3 other classmates come in with aide and equipment. We made the plan that the commons room was the safe zone and where we send all the injured. The other three students in our class are the surveillance team for any suspicious activity from the intelligence dorms. As we walk down the halls, we hear the ping of the elevator stop on the floor we were on. We ran toward it and there was 5 students, gagged and bound on the floor.

“Oh lordt!” said Jin “its like this suspect wants to get caught.”

“Mimi help me” I said putting my foot on the sensor so we can take the students out. As we take them out and portal them to the safe zone, I see they were bound and gagged with discolored clear tape. I think Sero! But what’s the motive? I tell Jin and he doesn’t have a clue either. We then get another ping, it was surveillance team.

“Hansai to Palma and Matsui”

“Palma here/Matsui here”

“The culprit knows where you are, be on high alert for another victim delivery.”

“Thank you/Can you see the culprit?”

“We do, they are on the 5th floor and they are not alone.”

“Thank you team/ requesting a sniper to be on stand by”

“Roger that, be careful team, may God be on your side”

“Roger that/ Roger that”

We take the stairs and find 2 more students, Bakugo and Kaminari, both passed out. I start to get worried if Sero really did this and who was the accomplice. So far we have Mina, Kaminari, Hagakure, Aoyama, Mineta, Bakugo and Tokoyami in the safe zone. 

“Guys, this doesn’t make sense” I said as we rush up the stairs “The place isn’t broken into and the tape used is someone’s quirk byproduct. But yet they managed to knock out 2 powerful quirk users in the class with the other 4 strong ones still not found.”

“You know what, that doesn’t make sense!” Jin said just realizing it “and I noticed the tape they were bound with was too neatly applied. Plus the way they were laying on the elevator, they looked like they were laid for comfort.”

“Why would you lay a passed out person for comfort?” asked Mimi.

“BECAUSE NONE OF THESE VICTIMS ARE ACTUALLY HURT! THEY’RE IN ON IT!” I said realizing the whole scheme. “We have to alert the safe zone!”

Mimi contacts the safe zone to be on alert for an inter-victim attack as they might be in on it. We reach the door that leads into the 5th floor and I get ready for more things that don’t make sense.

“Mimi, we need you to stay behind Ita and me”

“why? I’m always the first one to lead”

“Because Ita knows these victims and the possible culprits, if she can spot them then you go and assist her while I portal the others to the safe zone.”

“Ok good plan Jin, lets rock and roll kids” I said cocking my gun.

We kick the door open and I roll in and I am floored to what I see. It’s Sero AND Shoji that did it! And I see the rest of 1-A, bound but not unconscious, which make even less sense because even if they got their quirks erased, they’re strong enough to rip through because all the victims were lightly bound.

“So you figured it out huh? Miss America and her Axis Powers!” said Sero.

“Ok 1) Korea isn’t an axis power 2) Why Shoji?”

“Ha! I chose Shoji because....uhh” Sero said not keeping his persona straight.

“Mimi, Jin NOW!” I yelled as Jin portaled the victims in one go and Mimi and I hit them with the stun guns. 

“Scan the area for other victims and dangers with me Jin, Mimi you pat down and cuff the culprits.” I said as I wiped my sweat. We do a scan and Jin finds a bomb but it wasn’t activated nor did it have anything inside to make it explode.

“hmmm, nothing is making sense! This was poorly executed and nobody put up a fight. No clear motive, main culprit didn’t have story straight and nothing is stolen.” I say as I levitate Shoji.

“Yea ugh! WAIT! what if this was just a test?!” Jin said with wide eyes “time check! if it’s a little past 10am, I might be right.”

“It is... 10:10am on the dot” said Mimi suddenly going pale “guys we’ve been tested! Diya sensei said he was gonna do this to us but I thought like, AFTER school starts.”

We get a ping, it’s Diya sensei.

“GOOOOOOD MORNING INTEL 1-A! I see everyone’s blood is pumping and ready for a good ol’ time! Please report to the dorm field immediately!”

“Roger that/Roger that/Roger that”

“I can’t believe I almost shat myself over some surprise test!” 

“You think you got scared! bitch I was on the toilet!” Jin screamed as he summoned a portal.

“Um excuse me! I was in the shower, ass and tiddies still wet as I put on clothes and guns!” Mimi sassed back as she tossed Sero and Shoji into the portal.

We get to the field and both Hero 1-A and Intelligence 1-A was there. Diya and Aizawa sensei were on a platform in front of us.

“Ok looks like everyone is here and accounted for! Shall we get started Shota?”

“Lets! Ok everyone! As you can see you were all part of a surprise practice test. For the Heroes, it was to simulate disability in the event of a kidnapping and rescue. For the Intelligence agents, it was to test your organization, ability to form teams and communication between teams.”

“That’s right! And as expected, Miss Palma was quick to detect the danger and send out the high alert to the rest of the class. Amazing work done for setting up a safe zone! And Yuka getting on the ledge to snipe was very brave and dutiful of you. Excellent work in aiding the victims and asking for crucial details. Now, Miss Palma? Mr. Matsui? Would you kindly come up and debrief for us?”

 We go up to the podium and I see my hero classmates, they’re looking at me like I just saved the president. Some of them aren’t as happy as they either got stunned and/or hungry.

“Itati Palma, Intelligence 1-A, code name: La Letra T”

“Jin Matsui, Intelligence 1-A, code name: Baby Boy”

I start “At 8:45am, I get a knock at my door with no answer and a faint scream. I do a sweep to find nobody with suspicion of villains.”

Jin followed up “At 8:58am we get the ping of a code yellow requesting for back up. I connected the line to everyone and we followed suit.”

“At 9:15 we find 5 victims in the elevator, oddly enough, lightly and neatly bound with tape produced by one of the student’s quirk. With things not making sense and finding 2 more victims on the stairwell, We arrive at the 5th floor at 9:52am”

“As the surveillance team stated, they saw the culprits on the 5th floor with the rest of the victims. Upon raiding, Palma and I observed that the rest of the victims were conscience and also lightly bound with tape. Once Palma tricked them into confusion, we finished the job and scanned for other dangers. We found a hollowed bomb.”

“Trying to figure out this terribly executed plan, Matsui concluded that it was a test just seconds before Diya sensei sent the ping at 10:10am.”

“And that concludes our mission debriefing, thank you for listening” We say at the same time as we bow.

“Excellent work from our high ranking students in intel! Please join the others on the field.” Diya sensei praised. “Final marks are high for the class and will be counted as extra credit, depending how term 2 goes, it may be crucial! Give your hero classmates a round of applause for that.... choice of situation.” 

We all politely clapped as we all knew Diya is a shady bitch, but that’s why he’s our favorite teacher. “That’s all for today folks! Intel 1-A dismissed for today!”

“THANK YOU SIR!” all 9 of us yelled in unison, scaring the Hero class.

“gee for a small class, they’re pretty loud” said Kirishima “not to mention they all have amazing chemistry together.”

“You still think Palma-san is a spy?” nudged Mina

“Nope, that girl would take a bullet for our safety! Did you see how she went in the hostage room?! She was like one shot and BAM Sero went down!”

“HEY I COULD’VE WON! She asked me a tough question is all!” said Sero, clearly salty.

“Sero I was there. she asked why Shoji and you blanked out on your story!” said Todoroki “even if you did answer her question, your tape wasn’t going to save you from their stun guns.”

“I still think I had a chance” Sero mumbled.

“wait- Mineta wasn’t part of the villain team, why was he stunned?” asked Midoriya.

“Oh hehehe he tried to cop a feel on the student trying to take the tape off him and the chick was so quick to pull her gun on Mineta!” cackled Hagakure “she said I won’t hesitate purple bitch! And stunned him point blank!”

Iida was listening to everything and remembered Palma’s demeanor in the hostage room and the way she screamed to save the hostages. It wasn’t making sense to him, how can a first year from America, possibly know how to handle the situation? It was almost like she was in that situation before from the way she responded and how quickly she knew everything was wrong. His thoughts were disrupted by his hunger. After breakfast, he decided not to pester her for the rest of the day. Because there was no point to do so, she deserves a break after the morning’s test. Meanwhile, Ita was scheming to have a nice day out as summer was coming to an end soon for them and things were getting too serious around her. Time to get pampered and treat themselves!

“Ok everyone I’ll be out for the day!”

“Where are you heading to?” asked Momo

“I’m going to my eyebrow threading appointment then hitting up the mall to do some window shopping. Maybe buy myself something pretty.”

“Wow sounds like fun! Wish we could go.” pouted Kaminari.

“Have fun and be safe Ita-sama” said Tokoyami.

“Will do! I’ll be back before sunset” I said as I teleported out.

I teleport to my car and noticed there was a hand print on my windshield, at first I was confused but then I remembered Iida said he went to go find me at my car. Good kid but needs to learn how to fucking say how he feels. I drive out 4 miles to the shopping center I frequent and I feel so liberated. I park and I teleport out to the salon I get my eyebrows done at, just to avoid anyone I know that might see me in my little secret vehicle. After getting fully did, I walked around to the boutiques and picked up some makeup refills and some new vanity items. I run into some familiar faces from the protected complex and had some pleasant conversation before departing. I go into the bubble tea place I frequent at so much that the people there know my order by heart : Rose milk tea with rainbow jelly and a macaron 6-pack. As I wait, I spot the lemon haired boy and his 2 friends. His black haired, pointy eared friend made eye contact with me before quickly looking away and trembling.

“Oh god she’s over there and I made eye contact!”

“She’s here?!” said the blue haired girl “Mirio! Mirio! please! this is our chance to approach her!”

“Are you sure it’s her Amajiki-kun?” asked the lemon haired boy.

“Yup, black curly hair, short and really cute” he said trembling “she looks especially nice today, pink is her color...I think I’m going to faint.”

“Well, time to approach her!” Lemon boy said standing up. He then turns and faces me, I get uneasy because his face says prey and I am not feelin’ like being a victim. I sweat and hope my order comes out soon, and sure enough it does and I briskly grab it and power walk out of the shop.

“Whoa! did you see that?!” said the girl “it’s like she knew you were going to approach her and fled!”

“Maybe this was a bad idea guys” said pointy ears “She’s seen us before and is getting scared of us?”

“That’s more reason to approach her! to introduce ourselves properly!” said lemon boy “lets split up to find her!”

They go off in different areas, meanwhile I take refuge in the slightly crowded music area. I think about those 3 and why are they always looking for me or at me? Aside from looking different, there’s no other qualities I have to seek me out. I finish my drink and think if I should stop by the grocery store to buy some snacks to hoard in my room. I walk to one last store to see if they have restocked my brand of organic body lotion, then I see the pointy eared boy RIGHT next to the restocked lotion. FUCK ME RIGHT IN THE PUSSY MARTY! I slowly make my way to the display, trying to not get in his view. I get to the display and grab one and tried to book it to the cashier to quickly leave. He saw me and tried to go in front of me but trips, I see and think fuck now I have to interact with him to not look like some bitch that doesn’t care! I levitate him just before he hits the ground and stand him upright. I see his face clearly now, he’s also kinda cute, I guess it won’t kill me to talk to his friends too.

“Um you alright?”

“Yea I am uhmmm that was totally uncool of me uhhh” He forces himself to speak but his trembling says otherwise.

“oh it’s alright, even monkeys fall from trees” I say as I place him gently on his feet “there! I put you back on your tree hehehe.”

He blushes hard and just stares at me. I grab the item I came for and start to head to the cashier.

“wait! Miss! I’ve been meaning to-” he chases after me and grabbed my shoulder, then his friends walked in.

“Oh good job Tamaki! You found her!” the blue haired girl squealed “she’s certainly the elusive one, but so cute!” she said getting up in my face.

“Nejire back up, you’re scaring her” lemon boy said, moving her away from me.

“Hello again!”

“Oh hello, strange boy and friends” I said nervously as I paid for my item “funny how you just cornered me, an unfair strategy if you ask me.”

“Oh did you feel preyed on?! We’re sorry!” said pointy ears “see! I told you she was going to feel that way!”

I grab my items while they were distracted and attempted to duck away to the exit. Plan failed when lemon boy blocked the aisle I was heading toward.

“How rude of us to make you feel like that! Allow me to introduce myself, I am Togata Mirio, 3rd year student at UA”

“And I’m Hado Nejire! also 3rd year.”

“I’m- Tamaki Amajiki, 3rd year too”

“Oh wow now I can stop referring yall by the nicknames I gave you!” I said relieved “I’m Itati Palma, 1st year intelligence student. Very nice to properly meet you!”

“nicknames? what were they?” asked Nejire.

Oh jeez “Lemon boy, blue hair and pointy ears”

“Mirio has the cool nickname, like always” said Amajiki, looking down.

“Come and walk and talk with us Palma-chan!” hopped Nejire “we heard alot of cool things about you! Is it true you came from America?! And that you speak Spanish?!” as blabbered on as she took me by the hand, walking out of the store.

“Um yea I’m from America, California to be exact and yes I do speak spanish!” I said feeling uneasy again, how did they know that information? I get on guard as I talked more to them. The questions didn’t cut too deep into what the school knows, until Mirio asked the heavy questions.

“So tell me Palma-san, what’s your quirk? Do you have more than one?”

THERE IS NO WAY HE WOULD’VE ASKED ME THE SECOND PART IF HE DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW I HAD TWO! I suspected them of snooping into my school file at that point but I had to stay cool and come up with something to divert.

“I have one quirk, Telekinesis. Mid-range to be exact, I can levitate myself and other things as long as my underarms are exposed. I can also teleport but only 2 miles at a time but only to places I’ve been before, same rules apply to items but they have to be held against my chest.”

“Really? thats all one quirk?” asked Nejire. Yikes I think they’re on to me.

“Yea, I know it looks like I have two but it’s a multi faceted quirk. But when I do combat and other field stuffs, I don’t use my quirk unless I need to escape the situation.”

“that good at combat, interesting.” said Mirio in deep thought.

I look at the sun, it’s starting to go down and I see it as my way out of this whole thing.

“Oh look at the time, I better get going, I don’t want my dog to worry about me.” I said trying not to reveal my actual living situation.

“Oh we’ll walk you there! Where do you live?” asked Mirio.

“I live 4 miles that way.” I said pointing at a random direction.

“That’s far, how did you get here?” asked Amajiki.

“I can teleport 2 miles at a time”

“Oh! right! haha” he said embarrassed that I just mentioned my quirk.

“Can we at least walk you to the main street?”

“nah I’m good, see yall when school starts!” I say quickly as I held my items to my chest and teleported to my car. That was close! No matter now, I had my day out and now I’ll pick up some dinner and head to the dorms. Meanwhile, the 3 upperclassmen walk home and discuss the next step.

“See Mirio! She’s nice and sweet!”

“I still feel like she’s hiding something, like she didn’t answer our questions fully.”

“Maybe the file was wrong? It was incomplete when we found it.” said Amajiki “well there’s my house, see you guys on Wednesday.”

“Bye Tamaki!” the other two said as he walked into his home.

“So Mirio, you like her, don’t you?” Nejire said bluntly “you couldn’t stop looking at her.”

“Is it that obvious? But yes I’ve got my interest peaked.”

“You noticed that Tamaki has interest in her too? He actually looked at her and didn’t tremble in fear.”

“Does he? hmm”

“You can’t hide your feelings from me Mirio! You’re going to ask her to be your girlfriend huh?”

“What? no.....maybe, depends, I’ll have to spend more time with them to really know.”

I get back to the dorms with some Chinese food and my shopping, the girls are in the commons room, waiting for me.

“Your back!” said Momo.

“Anything interesting happened?” asked Uraraka.

“Actually yes! I found out the name of that guy I mentioned to you and Asui a few nights ago.”

“Oh, what’s his name? kero”

“His name is Togata Mirio and he’s a 3rd year.”

“An upperclassman?! They actually talked to you?!” screamed Mina.

“Um yea and I am not gonna lie, he’s kinda attractive. If he’s game to hold my hand I would let him.”

The girls squeal that I have a crush on somebody with such status. Some boys overheard the conversation.

“Oh dear that sucks for Iida-kun” said Kirishima “He has tough competition to win his girl.”

“tch who cares! I’m sick of hearing about this love mess with Iida and Palma san! I hope she ends up with the 3rd year just so Iida and finally shut up about her.” growled Bakugo “besides, she’s too good for Iida.”

“But Baku-bro! They belong together! I’ve been calling it since they’ve been getting close. They’re gonna get married and have a bunch of kids with powerful quirks in the Iida family estate, and-”

“SHUT UP SHITTY HAIR! She’s clearly going to be with somebody that’s also secret service. Marrying a hero just means they’re never going to be home when they are and Palma-san is the type that needs their man at the drop of the hat.”

“I guess you’re right, I’m still rooting for Iida though.”

I have my dinner and go to my dorm to store away my purchases, then I get a knock at my door.

“who is it?”

“it’s Todoroki”

“um ok come in” I say as I think, what the hell does he want from me?

“Hello Palma-san, I need your assistance.”

“Oh? with what?”

“It’s Iida-kun, he’s been shut in all day today and some of us are getting worried.”

“He has? all day? since the morning thing?”

“Yes, can you go see what’s wrong? I feel like you can get to him better than any of us.”

“ok, I’ll try. Just give me a moment, I have a plan.”

I get to the kitchen and I bake the cookie dough I saved in the freezer, in case of guests coming over. I make enough to pile on a plate in a perfect pyramid. I go to his door and knock.

“Go away, I already said I don’t want to be disturbed.”

“Aww ok then Tenya, guess I’ll eat these cookies all by myself.”

“wait! Ita?! Give me a moment!”

I wait and I hear a bunch of fluffing and shoving heavy things into place, what in the world was this boy doing? Then the door opens.

“come in!”

“thanks, I just wanted to drop in to spend some quality time with you.”

“Oh? you wouldn’t spend time with that boy from the east-side school?”

“Come on Tenya! He doesn’t mean anything like how you mean to me” I said holding his chin to make him look at me “what happened to the boy that promised me to spend the hot weather together with me?”

He blushed a bit “Well I’m still here, and there’s still a few days until school starts.”

“I have an idea! Let’s go somewhere fun tomorrow!”

“Where to?”

“Ok so theres this place called the Twin Coves that Jin told me about, it’s a secluded part of this beach thats a cool place to explore. He also said that the beach town around there is pretty quaint and not bustling.”

“Hmm, ok lets go! But how are we-”

“I’ll drive us, its only an hour drive to the place. And if anyone asks, we’ll say that you went to see your family and I went somewhere else with my friends.”

“Ok, its settled then” he said holding my hand “I can finally uphold my promises to you, sorry if I haven’t been so sweet to you lately.”

“I understand Tenya, don’t worry” I said squeezing his hand “its been pretty stressful lately but being alone today made me realize how much I took your company for granted. I was in a situation where I needed you to save me.”

“Save you?! from what?”

“Social interaction with a group of people that was following me for months now.”

“Oh no, are you alright now? here let me” he said as he brought my hand up to his face and kissed it “there, a kiss to promise you that I’ll stick by you and save you from unwanted social interactions.”

“You promise? Because I don’t think I can trust anyone else.”

“I promise Ita, I care deeply for your well-being and happiness.”

We smile and continue to make a game plan for tomorrow’s trip. The plan is that I leave 1st to go get gas and some essentials, then I go wait a bit up the road for Iida to arrive, then we go to the cove and enjoy ourselves until we have to come back by 8pm for curfew. The next day, we go about our morning and I tell everyone that I’m off.

“Bye everyone! I’m heading out”

“Again?! where now?” asked Kirishima.

“I’m going to go do some air training with some of my intel peeps.”

“Sounds like fun! wish we did cool things like that.” said Midoriya

“Oh well, you know, we only do cool stuff! Welp gotta go!” I said as I teleported out to my car.

Everything goes according to plan and we head to the cove. I share with Iida my favorite music on soundcloud and what I have downloaded on my phone that I bump in the car. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the meme songs but loved the love song remixes. We get to the cove and it was exactly what Jin said, it was quaint and not busy. We get to the beach and I got almost tempted to jump in the water but we explored the cove. I fell a bit behind Iida hiking but he did the thing where he holds my hand to not lose me. We get to the top of the twin coves and see why it’s called that.

“Look at that! its heart shaped!” I say as I take a picture.

“I suppose it does, it’s quite breath taking”

“Yea, thanks for wanting to come out with me”

“I wanted to keep my promise that we were going to enjoy the hot weather, speaking of which, do you want to go back down to the sand?”

I nod and we hold hands while we make the hike down to the sand. I could barely contain myself, once we put the blanket down and put our backpacks down, I started to take off my shirt.

“Ita this is a public beach! you can’t- oh” he stopped his sentence when he saw that I had my swimsuit underneath my clothes.

“You don’t wear your swim suit under your clothes?”

“I do but I don’t go swimming often.” he said as he eyed my hot pink one piece “did you swim often back home?”

“Yes! being in the water is my happy place” I said as I took off my shorts “I had the best memories with my family when we would go to the beach. I learned how to swim at the beach when I was 5 years old!”

“Isn’t that a bit dangerous? Who taught you?”

“My dad taught me! He learned that way when he was younger so he thought it  wouldn’t be any different with his children, so he tossed me in and told me ‘you drown if you panic, you float when you calm down and accept the water’. And it worked!”

“No offense Ita” he said cautiously “but I’m pretty sure that’s child endangerment.” 

“if you think thats crazy, my dad taught me how to use a knife for survival at age 8 and how to drive at 12 years old.”

Iida didn’t know what to say and just watched me jump in the water, not flinching on how cold it was. He walks in thinking it’s not freezing.

“Ah! the water is freezing! how are you enjoying this?!”

“What are you talking about? This is perfect!” I said swimming toward him “my family is full of swimmers and fishermen where my parents are from so we swim no matter the tempurature or weather.”

“If you say so” he said shivering.

“Come in a bit deeper with me!” I said grabbing his hand “the waves aren’t rough so we won’t get swept away.”

We play a bit more in the water, found some shells and a tide pool with some colorful creatures. We go back to the blanket to eat and I wonder why he packed so much canned orange juice?

“What are you thinking about?” Asked Iida “you’ve been looking out to the water for a while.”

“Oh I have? Sorry hehe I just get deep thoughts when I go to the beach” I said taking a sip of juice “something about the sound of water crashing and pulling back makes me think about hard life’s questions.”

“Like what? You can ask me and I’ll say if its hard or not.”

“Ok then, Tenya, do you believe in soulmates?”

“Ummm, well, oh my that IS a hard life question” he said getting into deep thought “I believe there is a such thing as soulmates.”

“ok, then do you believe that you’ve met your soulmate?”

“that I can answer! yes, I firmly believe I’ve met my soulmate” he said confidently “do you feel like you’ve met yours?”

“I don’t know” I said wrapping the towel tighter on me “I left my whole life behind almost half a year ago. I feel like my soulmate stopped searching for me and I am going to spend my life loving the wrong people.”

“That’s a terrible thought Ita! Why would you think such dark things?!”

“It’s just a thought, anything could happen that can prove me wrong.”

“like what?”

“I was looking at the ocean when I was flying over here and thought to myself, I’m not going to make friends because I’m too different or too overpowered to have anybody want to approach me. But then look where I am, I have friends and classmates that include me and want to talk to me! You’re here, with me.”

“Well, I hope you get proven wrong this time too.”

“thats such a funny context to say that sentence in” I said giggling, lifting the dark mood.

We sit and laugh about childhood stories for a bit more and then pack to head back home. It wasn’t late, it was only 4:38pm.

“Hey I’ll be right back, I want to go buy something” said Iida.

“Oh alright, I get the car started.”

I get in and went through my texts, not too many to reply to. I didn’t see when Iida came back and got in the car.

“Here, I got you something” he said as he presented me with blush pink roses and lillies.

“What! Tenya! so bold of you to give me flowers when we aren’t married!” I said shocked as I took the bouquet.

“yea wait- married?”

“in my culture, you only give flowers to your spouse and daughters. If you give flowers to an un-courted or un-married woman, it’s code for they’re the mistress or secret lover.”

“Oh my! I didn’t mean to! It’s just that they caught my eye and made me think of you and how pink is your color and you have flowers in your room and you always smell nice.”

“Hahaha Tenya its ok! It’s very sweet of you, thank you.” I said calmly as I sniffed the bouquet. Iida looked at her and fell even deeper in love, maybe it really was meant to be? Seeing her happy again made him happy too. They drive to the dorms and Iida got out first, then Ita 10 mins later.

“Oh how was- what’s with the flowers?” asked Midoriya.

“umm the flowers were a gift, from.... somebody.” I said trying to come up with something.

“Was it from mystery boy? Mirio?” confronted Jiro “they look so delicate, these aren’t just random flowers. Somebody took the time to pick these out for you.”

“I thought they were nice and just a thoughtful gift, not a big deal.” I said walking toward my room.

“Wow you look a bit sunburnt too Palma-san!” said Aoyama as I turned into my room “and flowers? did you go to beach too?”

I start to sweat “Too? who else is looking sunburnt?”

“Iida-kun is, I saw him in the showers and his whole back is red like he’s been in the sun.”

“Oh I thought he went to see his brother, maybe he did some training too”

I went on the rest of my night and I get a text from Jin,

[PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE FREE TOMORROW!]

[I am! whats up bbyboi?!]

[Robo-dog is ready for activation! But we want you to come see the birth]

[THATS AMAZING! I will zoom over after breakfast!]

[yee yee, can’t wait!]

I almost couldn’t sleep! I wondered how it was going to respond to me or the other 2. I close my eyes and savored how good I made these past few days and hoped for many more.

-End Chapter 7-

<Previous - Next>

[theknittingwizard-blog]

Some unusual facts about mice

I’ve caught 5 mice in my bathroom in the last month and have learned some interesting facts about the little creatures that I thought you might find intriguing, my dear @thenoodlesqueen @thedisappointedidealist12 and @unsurprisinglycannibalshark  

Our story begins with our hero, my landlord, whose kenning shall be FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER heretofore. FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER was a good and just landlord. He did not waste his time with trifles like replacing the 12-year-old mattresses or the suspiciously stained couch or the broken vertical blinds or the strange smells coming from the food disposal. No, instead FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER chose a more pressing problem to address: removing and replacing the entire microwave oven with a new one because part of the handle had broken off. FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER only wanted the best for his tenants, my roommate whom we shall call ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART SOCIAL WORK MAJOR, and myself (the one bitching on tumblr at 1am about how fucking hard it is being a white first-world college student living in an off-campus apartment her parents are paying for) whom we shall aptly call FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT. 

Now that we have introduced our cast of characters, I shall begin the epic. (ARMA VIRUMQUE CANO and all that lovely other muse-invoking shit.) 

FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER arrived at his feudal lands (my shitty apartment complex) bright and early one Saturday morning at about 9am. FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT was somewhat perturbed to be awakened from her melatonin-tablet-induced slumber by the serene sounds of FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER violently blasting the apartment walls with his mighty powerwasher, but she eventually dragged her lazy ass out of bed and had a healthy breakfast of reheated pizza (using the aforementioned new microwave) while watching Sherlock on Netflix. She didn’t really need to sleep in anyway, FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER was on an important mission to beautify the apartment, after all. When it came time for FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER to powerwash the inside of FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT’s patio (if you don’t mind defining “patio” as a 10 by 5 foot rectangular area surrounded by a mouldering fence and completely shaded by the second floor’s “patio” so that the vile sun never touches the impeccable concrete), FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER knocked on FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT’s door and marched out onto her patio, opened the sliding door, and powerwashed the absolute shit out of that patio so thoroughly that mysterious puddles were later found on FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT’s floor. (Remember that he opened the sliding door. This will become a crucial plot point later on in our epic tale.) 

A week went by and all was well in the feudal lands. Until one fateful day when FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT was sitting on her toilet doing what one typically does while sitting on a toilet. She squinted her sans-glasses eyes at a strange creature scurrying towards her. Was it an… oddly grey roach? Some type of fuzzy...HOLYFUCKINGFUCKETYFUCKTHATSAFUCKINGMOUSEMOTHERFUCKINGFLYINGFUCKERY. 

FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT did not remain on the toilet for very long after this epiphany and proceeded to freak the actual fUcK out as foolish college students are wont to do. She barricaded that fucking bathroom door and then she had to go to class. When FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT was released from the corrupt higher education drudgery commonly known as “class,” she journeyed straight to HEB (aka Texas wal-mart) and bought a fuckton of snaptraps and glue traps and “mouse attractant gel,” which the label said was better than peanut butter for scientific fucking reasons. (She also bought some Oreos and milk, but that is not relevant to our epic tale.) 

FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT laid her traps all over the bathroom floor and then shut the door and curled up in bed to read fanfiction while she waited for her nemesis to meet his demise. Her efforts were rewarded at 12:30am when terrified squeaking began emanating from the bathroom. What then followed was an argument between ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART SOCIAL WORK MAJOR and FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT wherein ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART SOCIAL WORK MAJOR refused to lend FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT her hammer to violently bludgeon the mouse out of its terrified, squeaking misery. This argument ended with FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT dropping the glue trap with the completely helpless, spread-eagled-on-the-glue-trap mouse into the big trash can by the curb outside where the mouse probably slowly starved to death or was finally, mercifully squished eight hours later when the garbage was picked up the next morning. 

FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT felt utterly victorious, despite the mouse’s inhumane and deplorable fate. She had caught the mouse! Her troubles were no more! But this was not to be. 

A week later when FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT came back from Easter break, a pungent mouse carcass greeted her in a glue trap in her bathroom. Three days after that she heard a trap snap at 1:30am (while on the toilet again) and got to experience the joy of smashing a helpless mouse to death with a brick in the wee hours of the morning. And again at 9:30am the same day! Woe to FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT. Who would help her in her time of need? FUCKING WHO??? The Doctor? Sherlock? The Winchesters? No! Someone mightier than even the tumblr fandom trifecta!! You know his name!! 

Our FUCKING hero received a text (you see my obligatory Sherlock comparison now, ofc) from FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT imploring him to help her. Since FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER was not a high-functioning sociopath or a Time Lord or otherwise occupied trying to help his brother un-unleash the latest unstoppable supernatural force, he pledged to “definitely take care of it” that weekend. FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT informed him that she and her roommate would both be gone that weekend (she was going to visit her family or some other foolish venture) but expressed her undying gratitude to FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER. 

Come Sunday night, FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT had just driven down from Dallas. It was 9pm. She just couldn’t wait to relax now that the mice had been dealt wi— FUCKING LIVE MOUSE STUCK TO A GLUE TRAP GETTING GLUE ALL OVER THE FUCKING FLOOR WHERE IS MY GODDAMN BRICK. 

FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT was so confused. Hadn’t FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER “definitely taken care of” the mice? It seemed not. These mice must be far greater foes than the Daleks or Moriarty or God’s friggin sister. FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT texted FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER. Then she went to bed. Dejected. 

A few days later, FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER deigned to text her again. There was a buyer for the apartment! Praise be to Castiel in his coat on that stained-glass window (seriously, that was fucking stupid, Cas, you can’t be GOD) But you know who CAN?! FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER who hath commanded FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT to “remove the mice traps” [sic] since “we know for a fact this is not a recurring issue, thank you for your cooperation! :)” 

Whaaaaaat? But- but I caught a- NO. 

FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT was fucking confused. She’s a foolish college student, what the fuck does she know? There aren’t anymore MICE. Here is what actually happened: The Gospel According to FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER, thanks be to God – I mean Cas – I mean TO FEARLESS FUCKING MOUSESLAYER 

The “one small mouse” obviously got in when FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER was powerwashing the patio and opened that pesky ol’ sliding door (I told you it was an important plot point). Because you know mice! When they hear a loud noise, they don’t run away from it or freeze from fear, nooooooo, they run towaaaaaards the loud, scary noise and iiiiiiinto the strange, unfamiliar environment of FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT’s apartment where they have DEFINITELY never been before. And THEN when this “one small mouse” definitely entered through the patio while water was being blasted against the walls outside, there just HAPPENED to be a hole chewed into the cabinet under FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT’s bathroom sink. “How fucking convenient!” thought the one small mouse. “What a perfect place to have my little babies!” 

"Whaaaat?” you might be thinking “but why would the mouse—” SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE INNER MACHINATIONS OF THE RODENT MIND LIKE FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER DOES. 

But it’s okaaaaay because all the mice are totally and completely and indisputably GONE now. You see, FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER checked the hole on Saturday and now “there are no more left inside the hole” But… but FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT found a mouse in the bathroom on Sunday so even if FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER didn’t see any on Saturday – WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! (Does it mildly annoy anyone else that that was a Sherlock quote from ASiP in 2010 but now it’s primarily associated with the fucking orange overlord? No? Just me, FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT all alone with my foolish college opinions? Okay…) 

"But FEARLESS MOUSESLAYER,” FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT implored, “I think there are still mice. Look, I have a picture of a mouse from Sunday—” 

"NO, FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT, THE MICE TRAPS [sic] MUST NOT BE VISIBLE FOR THE INSPECTION SINCE WE KNOW FOR A FACT THIS IS NOT A RECURRING ISSUE. REMOVE THEM.” 

"But isn’t that deceptive because the buyer kinda has the right to know the property has a mouse prob–” 

"HAD A MOUSE PROBLEM. IT’S ALL RESOLVED NOW. THERE ARE NO MICE. DON’T TALK OUT LOUD, YOU LOWER THE IQ OF THE ENTIRE STREET.” 

"That doesn’t even make s-” 

"NO FUCKING MICE!!” 

So you see, my friends, I, FOOLISH COLLEGE STUDENT, had some simple misconceptions about mice. Let us correct them:  1) mice run toward loud noises, not away from them. 2) mice only have 4 babies to a litter (Wikipedia is fucking wrong) 3) if the bait is gone from your mousetrap, it was probably just a bug 4) that isn’t mouse shit on your kitchen mat, those are chocolate fucking sprinkles And the most important, 5) the best way to resolve issues with your intransigent landlord is to type a wayyyy overly detailed fucking tumblr post at (it is now 2:52am, I did tell you I was foolish) and burden the internet with your whiny, privileged, and overall un-fucking-wanted opinions because you’re moving out of this apartment in a week and will be back to university fucking housing in the fall and you really, REALLY could not give a single fuck anymore unless an actual mouse crawled over your blanket and up your shirt to your hand and bit the thumb you’ve been using to type all this FUCKING WHINING BITCHING BULLSHIT but that’s okay, that won’t happen, because there AREN’T ANY FUCKING MICE! MICE DON’T EVEN EXIST, THEY’RE JUST COMMUNIST PROPAGANDA!!! 

Dear ACTUAL God.