#itd be nice to feel like what im doing is a priority for others

[once-upon-a-time-the-end]

too smokey to go to work but five fires at once won't stop the feeling that no one gives a shit about what i do for work!!

[brewing-mischief]

You know I'd really like to read a deh fanfiction where Connor and Evan run into each other really hard, get knocked unconscious by the force and then wake up in the hospital in each other's bodies.

The doctor's say they both have amnesia since they're all "who are you people" to their 'families' and cant seem to remember their names.

"What's your name"

"Evan...Hansen?

"Evan is fine, he came in with you and is talking to a doctor right now. What is YOUR name?"

"Ummm....?????"

The boys figure out they switched bodies but dont say anything to avoid looking more crazy to their families. I think itd be cool to read about how both of them get a little taste of what they need.

Connor gets to go to therapy (Dr.S is assuming that the amnesia is the reason Evan has gained a different personality. Thinking that since he has forgotten his trama his brain has built a new personality off of different core memories creating an Evan that is less full of anxiety? Idk I'm not a psychologist. Im thinking later Connor would slip up revelling to much of his actual life which leads Dr.S to believe that Evan has DID and that Connor is a new personality formed from the incident. He would think Connor's memories are actually a creation of a world Evan would have liked. His parents still being together-even though he knows it wouldn't work out in the long run which caused the 'dream' to go dark. Connor is like "I have no idea what you're talking about but if your chill with dealing with me I'm good" Dr.S continues to treat Connor as though 'Evan's fantasy' AKA Connor's real life is reality because he believes that this 'fantasy' is holding Evan dormant.) <- [This of course is just DR.S's psychological interpretation. Realty is that its just a bodyswap. However if you like that theory of Connor actually being a personality of Evan go right ahead a write that. I'm not stopping you]

Connor also gets to eat normal food like Pizza and tacos and anything that isnt some weird Vegan fat-free mess Cynthia makes

Connor gets he's space. Hes not constantly beaten down on by his parents for every step he takes. Heidi is incredibly chill. She's very worried about his well being but shes not invasive like his parents are who just want to tear him down. She continues to reiterate that she loves and supports him which allows Connor to slowly drop his walls.

With these supports in place Connor slowly begins to stop smoking/cutting (I have a feeling he may have also stopped at the begining because he respects the fact that this isnt his body and doesnt want to damage it but it is HARD) however most of his needs to cut/smoke are in his head. Which is awful because addiction is hard to quit. But he doesnt have to deal with physical withdrawal symptoms. (Headaches, nausea ect.) Which helps

Connor also stands up to Jared real quick so Jared learns to get his priorities straight or he finds himself left behind

Evan on the other hand has a whole family unit. He finally gets attention 24/7 which is great. Larry is a little harsh with him because hes Connor but it's less than usually since 'Connor' has no idea what hes talking about and doesnt give him a fight anymore. Cynthia is constantly hovering over him with scrapbooks to jog his memory. Zoe just tries to keep her distance but shes always in the background just staring at him trying to figure him out. The whole family is serriously just thrown off about how nice/figitty 'Connor' is. He's tripping over his words and apologizing as much as he breathes.

Evan does go through Connor's physical withdrawal because Evan is not about smoking. He suffers. The first day he keeps craving something but doesnt know what. He tells Cybthia who tries to help him match/satisfy it but nothing works. The next couple of dayd hes serriously sick/agitated. That's when Larry realised 'Connor' is going through withdrawls and is like "oh wow. Ok" and he starts being nicer. He is still somewhat stuck in the "what does it matter, Connor is going to go back to normal soon enough and it wont matter what he does right now" but Evan is being the perfect son so he cant really stay angry. He actually begins to bond with him again.

Evan just gets attention. He gets to sit down and have dinner and talk with people. He gets that family support hes been craving. He doesnt have to worry about being a financial burden because the Murphys are loaded

Evan would probably try to get close to Zoe but she pushes him away like nobody's business. Eventually she would cave and mabye do his nails or something but something about it feels off. Connor likes doing his nails and rn 'Connor ' seems to be very against the idea because "nail polish is for girls, what if people see it and think I'm a freak ect." So now shes even more suspicious about this whole amnesia thing. It wouldn't change her brother this much, would it?

Idk how Evan would think about everyone at school. Because they see him, they notice his existence but it's mostly out of fear and hatred. I feel like that would leave him a little bit panicked.

Anyway, after a week or two Connor goes over to his house to visit Evan and see how everything is being managed. Zoe sneaks a peek on them and notices something. Shes met Evan once or twice before so she didnt really make the connection until now when she can see them both. But 'Connor' is behaving like Evan, and 'Evan' is acting like Connor. Something is definitely off. She confronts them and without much of an argument to steer her off course they eventually give in and tell her what has been going on. She joins their team of figuring out what happened, how to go back and later in the story where the climax drama happens IF they should go back.

The IF drama is basically both parties know they have to go back but also dont want to....

It's just, Connor likes the freedom and trust Heidi gives him. He misses his sister but he also whitnessed his parents loving Evan more than they ever did to him. And that makes him furious because that means he was/will never be good enough for them. He takes this out on Evan since he knows Evan likes his family. He feels like Evan stole them from him even though he knows that's not true.

Evan wants his mom back. When he goes to visit 'Evan' hes a complete stranger to her and that hurts like hell. Plus He doesnt like being hated at school and furthermore he needs his therapy again. But the Murphy family is just so perfect. He has a father figure and a Mom whose always around and Zoe (who has become less of a crush through the experience and more a friend) and he doesnt have to listen to Jared being mean to him/claim they only hang out for car insurance. He has a strong support unit here and hes become more confident from the love they feed him.

So it's just this complicated mess of emotions.

I dont know how it would wrap up since they both have to go back but I think itd be really great to see these boys get better because their circumstances/situations switch. After all Tragedy is only a tragedy becuase the hero is in the wrong story. (I think I read that in a post talking about how Macbeth and Hamelt would have ended happily if only the two main characters were in each others stories since Macbeth would have killed the uncle real quick well Hamelt would have stopped to think instead of jumping in feet first. They made a good point and I want to apply that theory to this story)

Anyway those are my thoughts. Tag me if you write it

[theday]

tagged by @ikyh and @younghyuuns ill be doing both sets !! :D thank you both for tagging me!! this got long so yall dont hav 2 read <3

ru?? rushee’s set!! me: wow ru does not sound like rushee at all ? djsjdhhjd im dumb but i realize now

i. do u believe in astrology? whats ur sign and do u line up with the features usually attributed to it?

fucc... i guess i do ;-0...... and yeah i think?????? like they say capricorns are cold bitches and funny nd im like ya thats me... but they also say we’re hard workers and im like uh.. dont know abt that karen !

ii. what’s ur favorite pair of socks?

bbbbbbb..... socks huh...... i guess my ankle ones? there are also socks that have actual designs on them and those r usually thicker.. keep my feets safe! most of them have pkmn designs bc.. yeah... love the poke mans

iii. what’s a food that reminds you of a specific moment/memory?

i could think of anythiing and get reminded of one situation if that makes sense.. but i thought of pineapple..pizza... anyway the memory isnt anythngn special its just me staring at my delicious hawaiian pizza..... at my favourite pizza place.... love that shit

iv. what’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

i dont have the actual hours but the latest ive stayed up.. like willingly would be until 2am

v. how has ur taste in music changed throughout ur life?

went from 1d to 5so/s + other bands to utaite.... they cover vocaloid songs ig i never kno how2 explain what utaites r then 2 kpop.. but i still listen 2 bands + kpop and utaites.... so nothing much has changed ive just gone broader.. wider... expanded my tastes... 

vi. who’s ur fashion icon?

oh definitely kim wonpil

vii. what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done without realizing?

i breathe dumbass particles.. i cant think of one bc my brain probably blocked off all access to my horrifying past but ive been thinking abt how i used 2 send the boy i used 2 like 1d songs....................... 12 y/o old me rly thought. he’d listen.... 12 y/o me thought spamming him was a good idea glad ive learnt from that! 

viii. what’s something you want to brag about?

my grades but it didnt get me into psychology so nvm ! its still good though i didnt expect to get an A1 (hghest grade) for combined humanities since ive had a B my whole life without it i wouldnt be able to move on education wise lmao so thank god for that thanks cambridge thanks bell curve sunbaenim 

ix. when you imagine urself being happy in the future, where exactly are you (like the location!)?

oh definitely an apartment somewhere where its always windy and the curtains are always Moving and the sun just Shines in the room but its not that hot either its just full of warmth and yeah thats the dream maybe also walks in the park without having 2 worry abt sweating my pits out u kno! tldr anywhere but here

x. what’s something you’ve always wanted to own?

let me Think.... i dont need a lot/?? but id love hm.............. i want stability but realistically i want all the hh pcs from the code albums. 

xi. how’ve you been lately?

good good! i finished my *** fic and its. im proud of it though i know its not that good nd i can do better but its done ! and hm i could be going to see mx but asking my mum is stressing me out speaking of her she wont stop Coughing and she refuses to see the doctor ;-/ love those sleepless nights ! other than that i just want 2 get out and feel the sun ???/ wanna get out of this house yea but i need to be.. shady with my money i cant get a job because school is starting in a month and im going overseas again sometime next month so ! no ones gonna hire someone who can only work for 2 weeks at most dhzjhhs shouldve worked when i had the time dumbasses only

ok now falen

1. what’s been on your mind??

hm redacted feeling towards my mum but i cant say them bc itd be insensitive 

2. what are you looking forward to? 

mx? possibly but also finishing my enrolment papers

3. story time!: how and when did you get into day6!!!!!

fuck...... listen up LADS. 

ive told the same story like 10 times but im never gonna get tired of saying this shit bc i love miss boxy so much nd she deserves the appreciation anywy she introduced me 2 day6 after i saw this one (1) picture of brian in minion glasses and instantly i knew in that Fucking moment thatd id die for him. so i asked for the name of my murderer and was introduced to day6 whom frankly id never heard of b4 bdjhjh she sent me all their mvs and i still remember the night . i remember walking out of this japanese restaurant, twitter open, chat wiht boxy there and i was like.. interesting ill go listen when im home so i Did! and my mind was blown away bitch? i honest 2 god expected them to be a boy group,,, dancing and shit yknow? i didnt know k bands existed ! so as a previous 5/sos stan i was like wow. this??? this shit is 10/10 a fucking BANGER thats what i felt listening 2 i smile and just going :O over the fucking instruments so idk if how can i say was the last or second song but Damn. .. it made me scream thanks mister j** he rly dragged me by the collar of my shirt and threw me face first into Heaven so i watched everything i asked my friend for video recommendations and after boxy sent me a page with their face and names i was like this jae kid is 182 cm? wow gotta stan now im stupid and stupid for glasses and tall people so ! it happened bithc,, ugh i lov eday6 so much i remember binge watchng all their vlives after the july after party live (that being the first vlive i watched Ever in my entire life and i laghed so hard despite not understanding a damn thing) please id giv my heart and soul2 day6 im so happy with the way ive progressed as a myday :^( 

bonus when i first started stanning it was 26th june and shortly after i made a stan acc teasers were being dropped but i didnt kno why ppl were freaking out i remmeber seeing jae’s teaser nd going ? ok? its just a pic damn ;-/ and then eveeryone was like: dowoon! choker! me: wdhs? what

4. ????do you have any allergies????

did u think of jae and no i used to be allergic 2 dairy products but thats disappeared

5. a fond memory???

bowling with friends and im just a disaster of a friend im always so loud with them and i thank god everyday that they handle my energy ? i would cheer for them even if they got a gutter or whatever and when they got a strike id go clap like crazy i love my friends i also went i have the power of god and anime on my side before flinging the ball and theyd laugh despite not knowing what vine that was from i love my friends... psg if ur out there yall are the best x i miss hanigng out with them as a trio.. three of us :( 

6. do you paint your nails?? if so, what are your fave colors to use?? if not, why??  

thats so.. tiresome.......... dont u have 2 wait for it 2 dry and shit ? my mums always worried abt ruining the colour or some sht nd im like !!! okY!!!!!!! tldr its a pain in the ass

7. what are your favorite colors?? what are your fave colors to wear??

i like hte colour of the sky... all the colours........ yeah love that bithc and lately ive been wearing a lot of black shirts finally went out of my embarrassing colourful phase ! 

8. what languages would you like to learn?? for what reason(s)??

japanese nd korean jp because i listen to a lot of things in japanese and korean for the same reason but my priority would be jp even tho id love to communicate with my faves i just... yeah although im not exactly making an effort 2 learn bc im lazy but if i Could.... itd be those two

9. when you get stickers, do you use them or do you keep them??

DHDGFHDHDGDSJHJSJAKSSJHFHS THIS FEELS LIKE A CALL OUT???? i keep them......... 

10. are there any groups that you might get into/want to get into?

hm... well theres knk ive learnt their names and im finally able to put name 2 face so thats nice svt too if htey didnt have such large numbers... thats all for now i think?? i love evry girl group though i love gIRLS... 

11. how are you???

idk im constantly just fine?? not the im sad but im fine kind of fine im literally just neutral half the time wjhddshs wild 

both of your questions were really unique and i loved answering them thank you so much for tagging me and if youve read until the end thank you i hope you have a good day!

[paradoxlands]

I love how you make all the worlds seem so real and functional! I feel like im actually there 0-0 How do you decide what goes where and how it works? I know youve got the description to work off of but itd be nice to hear about your process as well! Have a nice day~ ^^

First of all, thank you for the compliment, it means a lot. 

I strive to make places which are consistent both within the setting of SBURB and with themselves. Fantastical things can appear but they pretty much always have an explanation which aligns with the rules of the game world.

After the break is a fairly detailed spread of stuff that goes on when I am designing a land picture:

So when planning a land out, there’s several things that need to be addressed, based on the description and other assumptions about the rules of the game world. Making sure that these things come together in a sensible enough way to be believable within the wacky confines of SBURB might seem relaxed enough to be simple, but it’s deceptively multi-faceted.

Some things to consider:

How does the player’s quest tie into the land? This one is an important guide to how things should be organised. Obstacles stand in the way of the player reaching their goals, but those obstacles can be quite free-form in nature.

An example from the comic itself is the Land of Wind and Shade. The pipes are present across the planet, but how John goes about discovering how and why they are blocked is up to him. The locals are both unintelligent and full of superstition, which is an obstacle to progression. Sometimes the obstacles can be more direct, like how his house was on the top of a huge spire.

The land is (or in the case of a void session, was) inhabited by a whole civilisation of consorts. What do (or did) they do? What impact did they leave on the land?

In the case of Labyrinth and Libraries, the quest is to find the clearly documented solution to the denizen’s riddles in the cryptic organisational system of a world-spanning library. All the consorts are librarians, who are constantly at work preserving and organising the books. No they don’t have time to show you to the books you want, that’d take hours! They’re FAR too busy for that! Just use the registry system which is so obvious and simple to them so of course it won’t take months to sort through all the index tables and cross-reference across thirty other volumes scattered around the globe. (It will.)

How does the ecosystem work, if present? It should be consistent with the conditions defined by the rest of the setting.

The Land of Storms and Ultraviolet featured plants which have silvered leaves in the scorching sunlight, but fluoresce under the blacklight cast though the clouds by the constantly raging UV storms. In a situation where the sun is hot enough to scorch the land but rarely shines in one place for long, the plants are adapted to the conditions - protected from burning but still visible to everything living under the clouds. There’s actually partial basis for this kind of thing in real life too - many flowers, primarily the ones pollinated by insects, have elaborate patterns on them which are only visible in UV light, since the insects can see in that part of the spectrum.

What constraints do the conditions in the Medium impose upon the scene? Can’t have moons, no stars in the sky, no sun. Lighting is strange and usually ever-present. Air is everywhere. How does the atmosphere work in that situation? Clearly something limits clouds and such to single lands, but beyond that the sky is pretty much blank. Void session lands tend to be devoid of life, several features appear to be common to certain groupings of lands, like the Forge or the presence somewhere on the world of a scratch construct, which could play into local society.

Interpretation of the description if provided, and making sure that details specified are covered and matched in a satisfactory manner. If something is mentioned, then it needs to be addressed in one form or other, either directly or as an implication presented in other aspects of the picture (such as whether it affects the ecosystem, environment etc). If a description is omitted or doesn’t mention some aspect of the design, try to match that logically to what IS mentioned.

A whole slew of framing, compositional, colour and other traditional artistic concerns which I won’t really go into here because there are probably plenty of better places to learn about them and that since I’ve been drawing for most of my life I’ve likely internalised a load of them and wouldn’t be able to list them all!

So yeah, there’s a load of stuff which I consider when deciding where to go with a particular land design. From there I start with sketches to try and get the composition down. Here’s the initial sketch of the Land of Pop and Anchors:

After that, if necessary for the sake of getting perspective right, I’ll model a basic mockup in 3D to make sure that it’s laid out right. This was the case with several of the lands, including Labyrinth and Libraries, Steel and Silicone, Satellites and Frogs, and a few others:

After that, blocking out colours and general shapes in line with the sketch is the next priority. Most of the colour work is done at this stage, trying to get a decent looking palette, but tweaking happens later on since details can change stuff quite a lot.

Finally, details are added. Sometimes important details can change along the way (such as the addition of the balloon tops for the floating platforms):

I know this doesn’t cover a lot about the actual artistic process involved, but it should give a good idea of the planning and design involved. 

Thanks for asking!

[leeoliver]

5, 8, 14, 19, 39 iunia and/or ezra

(char dev)

5. how do they dress? what styles, colors, accessories, and other possessions do they favor? why?

tbh itd be much more interesting to talk abt how iunia used to dress bcos now shes either wearing armor or her pharasma robes (which are like fancy funeral wear) she and wesviz were honestly like. fashion icons who wore an embarrassing amount of matching couples outfits. she really likes wearing like coral and salmon and peach bcos she feels like her skins too pale but those sort of warm pink and orangish tones bring color back into it. and shed do like dramatic bright makeup, especially eyes (lips were usually a solid tone bcos she and wesviz would match their lip colors to each others shirts) but stopped wearing makeup when she got pregnant bcos she remembered hearing like 10 years ago that wearing makeup when pregnant was bad for the kid. also her hair used to be really long like almost waist length and she cut it really short after wesviz died and kept it short while she was looking for cens and is only just now starting to grow it out again.

(human) ezras got like. a meticulous aesthetic going on that probs takes way more effort than they care to admit in the wasteland. they keep their clothes really really clean, though that starts to get hard after a while, and know enough basic sewing to mend any rips that occur moderately well. anyway its generally like cream/beige/brown/sometimes like yellow or like burnt orange turtlenecks and then prewar dress slacks and loafers. occasionally they wear like a white button down and like dark yellow sweater vest and bowtie, but thats for like special occasions. they definitely shine their shoes. as a ghoul the kind of start to let themself go, wearing this really big cloak w a hood so they can hide their face and stuff but it turns out that a six and a half ft tall figure of ambiguous species in a long menacing cloak and hood draws more attention than a six and a half ft tall ghoul in a tan prewar suit, so theyre doing better now.

8. where and when do they seem most and least at ease? why? how can you tell?

iunia knows a delivery table like the back of her hand. she can get like kind of intense when shes in the birthing zone, really barking orders but you definitely get the sense she knows what shes doing and is in total control of the situation. like shes super deep in her element. its pretty impressive. def uncomfortable in like wilderness or survival areas, prior to the events of coct shes never in her life been outside city limits. constantly looking around her and over her shoulder, holds her gear really tight if shes carrying any.

ezras really good in really pristine, regulated places like the vault. a lot of ppl would consider something that like regulated and controlled dystopian or monotonous but they fit really well into the machine. ezra as a person can get into fanatical territory really really quickly so like all hail the overseer and that sort of thing is something they really get into. so they of course like really have no idea how to act in a lot of more like rough and tumble sort of rugged wasteland towns. it was the first time theyd sort of been in a situation where a lethal fight or something breaking out was an actual possibility, and it scared them half to death.

14. What do they care deeply about? What kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings, or spirituality and faith do they have? How do these tend to be expressed?

mm iunias really conflicted here bcos she always feels like the temple and stuff should be her number one priority, that her past life is exactly that–in the past. but at the same time i feel like if theres a situation where she has to choose between her goddess and her son (and knowing how devious avery is, im fully expecting there will be) shed go with the latter. no matter what. in terms of more like general talk on faith and spirituality, shes definitely very devout and she can absolutely come off as like im blanking on the word like pushing OH proselytizing she can come off as proselytizing but i feel like so much of it is unconscious? like even if shes not actively trying to like convert someone her faith is such a huge part of her identity and it bleeds into a lot of how she interacts w the world.

lmao iunia and ezra just happen to be like my two most religious characters so good question. ezra is like unbearably classic lawful good they just really want to help people like definitely in terms of humanitarian aid but also smaller stuff like being really nice to people, making themself available as a shoulder to cry on, things like that. wrt religion ezras definitely very devout but they feel. super uncomfortable discussing faith w anyone other than their dad (and i havent finished fo3 but if theres another character whos very into like faith and stuff them too) so for them its more below the surface, esp compared w iunia

19. how do they behave within a group? what role(s) do they take? does this differ if they know and trust the group, versus finding themselves in a group of strangers? why?

iunia is definitely really like cold professional, but the best way to work w her is to give her a job and then just dont interfere w however she does it. i dont think id consider her a leader, but shes good at like timetables and organization so its definitely helpful to have her in a position where she can keep everyone on track in some capacity. i think the only change were the group to go from strangers to friends is that shes a little more flexible and willing to get input from friends whereas if a stranger (who often times would be 15~ yrs younger than her) did anything to imply that she wasnt competent shed be like. like you shouldnt do that. iunias so many things but incompetent is so incredibly not one of them.

ezras definitely gonna work better in a small group where theres not a lot of variation in goals and morals (theyre pretty flexible on specific means and stuff of getting a job done, with some hard rules on violence and stuff) and a lot of the time w/o a definite leader. if there is a leader theyve gotta play into that like zealous god-worshipping side of ezra and be like larger than life if they want unwavering support.

39. what sort of questions or thoughts recur in their lives, either specifically or as a theme? why are these never answered, or answered permanently to their satisfaction?

iunia wants to know why everyone leaves her. and given that her ongoing story is yet to start, i cant quite answer the second part of that question.

ezra deals a lot i guess w sense of self and identity? they definitely struggle w navigating life w/o their dad, both when he leaves the vault and after he dies. they define them self a lot thru how other ppl view them, and their dad is pretty much like. idk if i want to use like medical terms but id call him their fp. and so w/o him to sort of reassure them and tell them who they are, they have no idea.