#it. mmm. got bad stuff going on when already in a bad place mentally

[eagle-head-charge]

Morning, Soldier! Hope you feel... okay?

I feel sleepy

You dont have to check im on me so often, son. My prkblems arent your responsibility. I’ll be oksy!!!!!!!!!! Its just. a lot to desl with sometimes

[cherrycherrylady2024]

Christmas with the Grimes'

(Dilf! Rick Grimes x reader) Word count: 2,672

Warnings: 18+, descriptions of Rick's abdomen (awooga), flirting?

Chapter 2: Welcome Home

The train ride seemed to go by at lightspeed while you let your mind swirl around Rick Grimes. As you pulled into the King County station you took a few calming breaths and got your shit together, prepping to see Mr. Grimes again. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. BE NORMAL. Judith stirred, then stretched, taking a peek outside, “Oh good, we survived!”. You chuckled and stood to retrieve your bags. The trek through the train and to the front of the station felt a million miles long. Why were you getting so worked up about this middle-aged single father? You hadn’t ever been that into older guys. There was just something about him…

You need to reel it in, you reminded yourself. You repeated it like a mantra in your head over and over and over: reel it in, reel it in, reel it in, reel- HONK! You nearly jumped out of your skin at the car horn. “Damn it, Dad!” Judith screeched, nearly dropping her bag in surprise. She laughed at herself as you followed her to the big green Ford parked across the street. Be normal Be normal Be normal. You could see him behind the wheel, laughing and shaking his head. Oh god. Judith looks back at you, “He thinks he’s a comedian.” The driver's door opened and Rick's cowboy boots appeared. Then his denim-clad legs. His brown belt and shiny belt buckle. The gun on his hip. He slammed the door closed. While the action only took him about 2 seconds, it was like a slow-motion movie scene to you. You were mesmerized. Rick wore a flannel shirt and a thick brown fleece-lined police jacket over it. He walked to the side of the truck, his hands on his hips, head cocked. “‘Scuse me girls but have you seen my daughter anywhere? She’s ‘bout… mmm let's say yea high?” He raised his hand up to roughly oompa loompa height before Judith was upon him, swatting his hand away. “Shut it.” she retorted. “Hello to you too, kid” He chuckled wrapping her in a big hug. They parted and Judith opened the backseat to stuff her suitcase inside. The butterflies in your stomach were swarming now, building up to an explosion. Rick looked over to you with a smile. Fuck. You were unable to stop yourself.

“Hi Rick!!” you blurted excitedly.

You began mentally punching yourself in the face.

I guess it wasn’t that bad. No, it was bad, you thought to yourself, you just harpy shrieked at him. He raised an eyebrow and laughed, “Well it’s nice that somebody’s happy to see me.” Oh my god. Luckily the cold air had already given you rosy cheeks, so your embarrassed blush was pretty much concealed; but you were almost certain that Rick could tell. You could’ve sworn that he gave you just the tiniest funny look, one that you couldn’t quite place. Judith had already shoved her suitcase inside and you went to do the same. It was a bit difficult to fit yours next to hers in the already small backseat. You put your foot up on the side and pushed with all your might before a jacketed arm reached out from behind you and shoved Judith's suitcase to the side, allowing yours to slip in perfectly. You turn to find Rick just a few inches behind you. So close that, momentarily, you felt the heat radiating from his body. “There ya go,” he says, letting out a little huff of air as he pushes the suitcases in further, revealing a seat for you. “Oh- thanks” you say, frozen. He nodded (and there was that look again!) before walking around to the driver's seat. You climbed inside, and as you buckled yourself in, it dawned on you exactly what type of look that was. 

It was the type that all guys do when they know- - - they’re making you nervous. 

He knew exactly what he was doing to you. 

And he was doing it on purpose. 

You gripped your thighs, digging your nails in, as you felt a warm tingling sensation build in your lower stomach. No. No. No. You had to be misreading this. You had to be.

~~~

Before long the heater was blasting and Judith was reading her Hamlet essay to Rick, his eyebrows all knit up, trying to follow. You had been zoned out for the past few minutes, trying to get your shit together. There was no way. No way. You had to be wrong. You shoved down that little voice inside, telling you what you knew you wanted to hear, and took a deep breath. You distracted yourself by listening to Judith, even though you had heard the essay upwards of 15 times back in the dorms. Upon her use of the word “anagnorisis”, the reflection of Rick's eyes in the rearview mirror flashed up and caught your gaze. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head slightly as if to say “What is she talking about?” You let out a little laugh, it was a pretty academically dense essay, and he cracked a smile, chuckling to himself. “What?” Judith stopped, looking between you both. For some reason it made the two of you laugh more, “Anagnorisis is a real word people! I used it correctly!... I’m pretty sure. I got a 93% on this essay, so laugh all you want! Whatever” she rolled her eyes humorously, crossing her arms. Rick took in a deep breath, quieting his laughter but still smiling, “Well honey, gun to my head I couldn’t tell ya what that word means, so you must be doin' something right…” Then added, grumbling “But it sounded like a 100% essay to me, nothing 93% about that.” As he said this, Rick spun the wheel and the truck turned into a short driveway.

The house was fairly large and white, definitely Southern style with a wrap-around porch. It was old, but in the best way where it immediately feels like home. Rick got both of your bags out of the backseat and carried them up to the porch with ease. You followed behind Judith, taking in the yard and exterior of the house. There was only an inch or two of snow on the ground and someone had clearly tried and failed to make a snowman. You guessed it was Carl. Golden shining Christmas lights decorated the lip of the roof and wrapped around the two banisters of the steps. You all tapped your shoes on the last step, shaking off the snow/mud. The ancient-looking wreath on the door shook as Rick led the way inside. You were greeted with a wave of toasty warm air, homey was the best way to put it. The house was a little messy, toys strewn about, an overfilled laundry basket waiting to be washed, and what appeared to be the leftovers of a blanket fort in the living room. Rick set down your bags, calling out “Carl! Come say hello to your sister!” He stumbled over some shoes in the entryway then sighed, turning to you “Damn it…welcome to the Grimes estate y/n. Didn’t get a chance to clean.” You snicker, stepping over the shoes and toys, “If you think this is bad you shoulda seen where I grew up.” You surprised yourself with your candor. You rarely mention your home if you could help it, but you found yourself wanting to spill your guts to Rick. Like he would understand everything. Make you feel better. Safe. Jesus Christ!!!!

Luckily your brain shut up at the sound of thundering little feet on the stairs. Carl emerged and ran over to his sister, nearly jumping on top of her. “Judith!” he exclaimed, “Carl!” Judith echoed over-enthusiastically, hugging him. Carl started talking a mile a minute, “I got a new comic book from Nana today, it's so awesome! It was an early Christmas present-” Rick interrupted Carl, carrying your bags towards the stairs, “It was not an early Christmas present, it was s’posed to go under the tree, but someone snuck into the mail ‘fore I even saw it.” He had his hands on his hips again, giving Carl a sly look. Carl looked at his feet, concealing a smile. Judith ruffled his hair, “Well it’s a good thing Santa already put you on the nice list this year, or else you mighta been in big trouble.” Rick picked up the bags and headed up the stairs. Carl gave a little eye roll, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.” Judith chuckled then turned to you. “Carl, this is my roommate y/n,” she said. “Hi Carl, I’ve heard so much about you!” You said with a smile. “Hi. Do you like comic books?” he replied, in that straight-to-the-point way that kids do. “Sure I do,” you responded. Carl beamed, “Okay good, then both of you can come see my new comic! Follow me.” He headed up the stairs, you and Judith exchanged a look and chuckled, following Carl. At the top of the stairs, you asked to quickly use the bathroom and Judith directed you down the hall, “There’s a bathroom attached to your room, it’s all yours. I have to share mine with this animal,” she nodded her head towards Carl who scampered towards his room. You walked down the short hallway toward your room, studying the photos on the wall. Carl's school picture, Judith's graduation, some drawings, and an old photo of Rick holding baby Judith. You studied it for a moment. He was younger of course, clean-shaven, his hair more tamed, but his eyes still sparkled the same way. Honestly, you preferred him the way he is now. A little more rugged, more knowing. Damn, it was sexy. This was all running through your head as you entered the open door to your room, only to stop short.

Rick was in your room.

But he didn’t notice you. He was reaching for something on the top shelf of the closet. His arms stretched just enough to lift the hem of his flannel, revealing a sliver of his lower abdomen. Time seemed to slow down. You felt like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. You swear to god you almost drooled, your eyes locked on the sliver of belly until it was gone. He had turned around and was now looking at you. Before you could say anything, he apologized, “Sorry y/n, I meantta get the bed all made up ‘fore you got here, but I guess it slipped my mind.” It was only then that you realized he was holding a stack of sheets, retrieved from the closet. “O-oh, it’s- it is totally fine. I can do it. Thanks. Thank you,” you stuttered hopelessly. Rick ignored your protests, walking over to the naked mattress. He fanned out the fitted sheet and began tucking it into the left corner. His flannel sleeves were rolled up, his forearms hypnotizing you as he lifted the corner of the mattress. You still stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching him until you sprang to life. “Let me help,” you said quickly, walking past your suitcase, which he had so kindly delivered to your room. You tucked in the opposite corner sheet. Then he did the bottom. Then you did the bottom. Then he fanned out the top sheet. You caught the other end and the two of you brought it fluttering down on top of the fitted sheet. As you brought the sheet down you made fleeting eye contact, which immediately made you crave death just as much as it made you want to jump his bones.

NO. No, you didn't want that, who said that? Not me, you thought to yourself.

You decided gaslighting yourself was the only way to stay sane this winter break. You flattened out the ripples in the top sheet together, and you tried not to yelp when your hands brushed past each other. This entire time you were working in silence. Should you say something? Would it be weird to say something at this point? Unable to stand the silence you scanned your brain for an appropriate thing to say. You both began stuffing pillows into their cases. “I just want to say, thank you for letting me stay here. I-I know it’s probably an imposition-” he cut you off, “No imposition. You’re welcome here anytime.” The matter-of-fact way he said it made it feel like this was the final word on the situation. You were wanted. You weren’t an imposition or a burden in his eyes. “Well- thank you anyway. I think it’ll be really fun. Staying here. I mean, like, y’know getting to know Judith's town and, uh, more about her and… yeah,” Jesus Christ. He smiled to himself as he pulled another pillowcase on,

“You're right. We’ll have lotsa fun.”

Oh? Oh. Oh my god. You felt like you had whiplash. Just a few words and you were at a loss, frozen, as he stacked the pillows up. You slowly pulled the rest of the pillowcase around your pillow, going over and over what he just said in your mind. Did he mean that the way you heard it? He had to. He had to have meant it that way. NO. NO. NO. He did not mean it that way. It was a polite response. But the INTONATION! You argued with yourself. You said you thought it would be fun, all he said is that it will be fun… Fuck he totally meant it that way oh my god oh my god oh my god- “Do you run cold?” He was looking at you, one hand on his hip. You blinked at him. “What?” He smiled playfully at you. At your near catatonic state. He knew exactly what he was doing. “Do you get cold? In the night. I’m just wonderin’ if ya need another blanket is all.” You caught on incredibly slowly, dumbly looking down at the two quilts he had laid out on the bed. Was there a correct answer? “Uh. I do. Kinda,” you put eloquently. “Figured. It gets real cold in the guest room anyhow, I’ll go get ya another,” he didn’t give you a second to process his words before he breezed right past you back down the hallway. Alone for a moment, you took a shaky breath, setting down the pillow you were still vice-gripping. You slumped onto the bed, raking your hands through your hair. The tingling sensation resumed from earlier. The tension, in your mind or not, was becoming unbearable. You pressed your thighs together as your mind swam.

Rick re-entered with a thick dark green knitted blanket, you felt warmer just looking at it. “Try that,” he stated, tossing it to you. You catch it, feeling its heft, and rub the fibers together in your hands, “It feels nice,” you murmur. “I’ll let ya borrow it til you go back, but don’t get any funny ideas about taking it back with you. That one there’s my favorite,” he said with a smile, his arms crossed. He gave you his favorite blanket. Shut up he’s just being hospitable. “Thank you.” He nodded, and with that, he was gone. It was like the lights died out in the room. You immediately feel his absence in your chest. You wanted to chase after him, even just to talk about the weather. Anything. Instead, you stroked the blanket he gave you. It smelled of him. Not just his cologne, but him. Before you knew it you were holding the blanket to your face, deeply inhaling, imagining him all around you. His strong arms, wide rough hands, that smile of his. You imagined you were combing your fingers through his thick head of hair. You wanted him desperately. Jesus, you felt like a creep. 

You let the blanket fall back to your lap. 

To your surprise, Rick Grimes was standing in the doorway again, that fucking look on his face.

“Meant to tell ya, dinners at 7” He turned on his heel and was gone. 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. 

***

notes: thank u all for ur support on the first part! I hope this satiates you all for now while I finish part three <3

[ruumirmir]

On God I should be asleep rn but I had another Panasonic thought that successfully brain rotted with me.

As much as a filthy rich ego manic the harbinger can be,, I really feel like he Hates the wastage of money. Or anything actually. Physically can't stand it. I can't recall if his poor backstory actually canon or not,? But I know that pierro recruited him at a low point in his life,, from where he literally built his financial success from scratch.

(Which, has my respect 💯. But only cause he's a hot fictional guy.)

Like, yeah he has more than a dozen tailored outfits each costing more than an organ probably,, but he makes sure to Wear those. Cycle through the good stuff for occasions. I don't picture him to be the kinda guy to use-and-throw high quality things.

Pansies man definitely indulges the bedrock-deep pockets that he has,, but with a line drawn to it. If he's the one who invested blood sweat and tears into each mora that he's earned up to date, then surely he's not going round throwing coins like confetti.

(Sugar babying his loverboy doesn't count <3 mostly)

I rember reading a fanfic which stated pantalone to be under the "new money" category of Snezhnaya.

Highly liked that idea. And he's also 'under' in the eyes of the social hierarchy when compared to the nation's royals and families of "old money".

And it's also a stand-off kinda situation, cause the "rich" circle around him doesn't truly accept him within the social circle. His social mannerisms aren't a 100% accurate (courtesy of the well accepted hc of him being liyuean <3),, the already present bias of new money,, no esteemed family background,, partial jealousy from the sheer speed and efficiency of him getting so rich in the first place

Pantalone can obviously tell, that Only due to his title as the Harbinger, no one's saying anything. He deffo remembers the backhanded disrespectful shit he's gotten to face from the fellow aristocrat Snezhnayan peers when he didn't have that title.

It's a tough world out there damn 😪😔

I'm sure thay the fatui isn't the ONLY reason that the nation is so influential and powerful.

That makes me wonder why he's only placed 9th. The ranking list obviously isn't indicative of their fighting prowess since we've got a politics grandpa above an abyss & vision wielding weapon of war.

Mmm I wanna say deep down pantalone feels a lil salty about such a low rank 💀 the second last position,, only above childe,, cause he's here working the entire Economy for God's sake. Of an entire nation. He is singlehandedly one of the top 3 players in teyvats entire market. 👏

Like,, hey look at me. I'm here and I'm an important member of the harbingers. And while he certainly doesn't get overlooked,, cause obviously,, every department and harbinger need their funding,, I don't think he's one of the popular ones? He's just mentally filed as the "super rich banker man" by everyone.

If the fatui is a body that majorly plays diplomatically (on the surface atleast), the banker rlly should've been placed higher. Put some respect on ma man's name 🙌. Based on the fact that Mr. Pansy is very much,,,,, how do I even explain it. He likes the recognition. Having others put his face to the accomplishments. He literally wanted to Gift the tsaritza the hide of some adepti beast.

Althoguh hes secure in his current postion and fame,, That looks like someone who wants to be Noticed so bad. I can't comment on his level of loyalty to the queen tho.

I feel like pantalone thinks that the tsaritza frustratingly doesn't recognize him enough, which is tough considering his goal and ambition is on such a high scale. Probably wants a higher ranking tbh.

His "close" partnership with il dottore is also interesting. Not the biggest shipper. Occasional haha evil men yaoi cool. It just seems like a selfish ulterior motive ticking time bomb to me. Which is much tastier than the ship 😋. Mreader probably gets so much red flags from this arrangement.

Regrator might be in the partnership to score some brownie points off of harbinger 2nd's position and research capabilities. Maybe result in some contraption/ idea/ Thing TM to impress the archon and score a higher rank.

Love how I can be so insane and delusional at 4am and make up a whole essay based off a handful of lines abt this man.

Stay safe from the insanity <3 Goodnight every body I'm gonna be so sleepy in college tmrw morning 💗

Idk how interesting this information would be to anyone else but in my notes all of my reader characters have names so I can keep track of which one the notes belong to. There's only one exception and it's Pantalone's husband— he's just Loverboy 😭

[weepingvoidpenguin]

One of Your Favorites

Jealous Bucky x Reader

Summary: You have an objective. Get Rumlow to confess. Simple enough, right? No. Aside from his usual condescending attitude towards you, Bucky has made it extremely apparent that he doesn’t think you’re capable of - well, anything, but especially not handling Rumlow. And yet, he is the biggest challenge of this entire ordeal.

Warning: T R I G G E R WARNING!! ATTEMPTED SA, DRUGS, language, light smut. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT READ IF SA WILL TRIGGER YOU. 

Word Count: 8.3k

   “We have good intel stating he’s working as a double agent for HYDRA. Selling information, exploiting tactics, even going so far as to tell them where we’ll be and when.” Natasha scanned the room, making sure she had everyone’s attention during the briefing. 

   You slouched back in your swivel chair and twisted to-and-fro slightly with your hands gripping the arm rests on either side. It took all of your willpower to act engrossed in her words. And you meant every single drop. You’d been paying attention, sure, but the only issue was the dominating presence two seats to your right and directly in your line of sight to Natasha. You rolled your chair to the left to clear the path for the third time, only for him to block your way without missing a beat. The growl that left your mouth was nearly involuntary. Nearly.

   How long would this man act like a child? Despite his graceful and seemingly unsuspecting movements, you were fully aware his placement was intentional. This was not the first, nor did you doubt that it would be the last, time that Bucky acted impudently toward you. Frankly, you’d grown bored of his behavior. It was the same thing everyday. He would act a nuisance during the briefings, speak over you whenever he had the chance, steal the limelight from you and invalidate any concerns or thoughts you shared. The whole charade grew tiring and he had been dancing on thin ice for months now.

   You averted your gaze from burning holes through the freshly washed, brown locks and switched your attention back up to the redhead. Thankfully, too, because you managed to catch the end of her sentence just as she locked eyes with you.

   “And that’s why Y/N is going to be the one to extract the information from him,” she finished.

   You blinked, “Wait, what?” 

   Bucky straightened his posture and threw a quick glance your way, “Yeah, what? She’s got no heat, couldn’t toast marshmallows if we gave her all day. She shouldn’t lead this, she wouldn’t know how,”

   “Well, tonight might be a good time to start learning, then,” Steve chimed in, throwing a wink your way. You smiled and appreciated his aid, not because you needed it but because at this point, you were seething and if you opened your mouth to defend yourself this meeting would go south, quickly. Luckily, Steve always believed you were capable of a great deal of things and knew you strove for more experience so any opportunity to lead or expand was one he thought you should take. 

   “Besides,” Tony spoke up, twirling a platinum pen between his fingers from across the table, “our little double-agent has always had the hots for Y/N so unless you’re gonna be the one to bat your eyelashes at him and get him alone in a room, Mr. Barnes, we have to use his own flaws against him.” He turned to face you and held up a hand, “Not to say that liking you is a flaw, you’re great Hot-Stuff but exploiting him is our best option indefinitely,”

   “Do I have to seduce him?” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest and raising a brow towards Nat, trying your damned hardest to avoid the unmistakable glare the brown-haired super soldier was sending your way. 

   “The only thing you have to do is extract any information on him that you can. Get him a little drunk, catch him in a slip-up or two, take note of any inconsistent stories and be on your merry way,” she reassured, “How you manage to do that is up to you,”

   “Ooh, extortion,” Clint chirped up from the far back corner, his hands rubbing together maliciously around an arrow he pulled from his sheathe, something you noticed he did a lot when he was uninterested; be it a person, mission, or conversation.

   “No. Not extortion,” Steve shut it down and you chuckled at how Clint’s countenance fell into one of disappointment. 

   “Not yet anyway,” Natasha mumbled and you sighed as she walked around the room and handed each of you a folder with your individual objectives inside.

   “But he’s such a pervert,” you grumbled.

   “All the easier,” 

~

   The rest of the day was drudged with Nat while she taught the pertinence of body language (both yours and theirs), verbal ruses, and overall ensnarement. You bat your eyelashes until you were certain you would catch enough wind to fly away, smirked enough that your cheeks began to ache and raised your eyebrows ‘til you felt the impending wrinkles on your forehead. By the end of the drill you weren’t sure you were even going to make it to the company party from the migraine creeping its way on.

   “How’s the bait coming along?” His voice alone caused you to roll your eyes but you paid no mind while you rubbed at your temples and stood up alongside Natasha.

   “She’s not gonna be able to lie to me any time soon but she can flirt her way to whatever she wants,”

   “Benefits of targeting a narcissistic misogynist, they don’t think anyone can fool them.” Tony belted as he sauntered into the room with strawberries, offering them out to you while he munched on one.

   “She’ll still mess it up,” Bucky countered, “Make someone else do it,”

   You plucked the fruit off Tony’s tray and examined it, trying to figure out whether you were going to consume it or use it as a weapon.

   “I really appreciate your words of encouragement, James. Unfortunately, they’re not wanted, nor are they needed.” You bit into the fruit and glided towards the door, looking over your shoulder at the super soldier, “So unless you actually have something to contribute, I suggest you stay the hell out of my way while I get the job done,”

   Nat walked out behind you and handed you a tiny, skin-colored device meant to conceal itself and you placed it in your ear. 

   “The conversation is gonna be recorded so we can catch any inconsistencies. We’ll all be able to hear what you’re saying so tread on delicate waters but don’t be afraid to shake mountains if you have to,”

   You nodded and opened your door for her to enter your room knowing she’d want to help you get ready for the event. Natasha, shocking as it turns out, enjoys company while preparing for events. She would much prefer to be surrounded by people than be alone. You never had gall to ask her why that is. Or maybe you respected her too much to ask.

   An hour had passed, maybe two, but you enjoyed the silence between you both. There was no need to fill the empty quiet when it was so comfortable and welcoming. You two spoke without words at times and that was probably your favorite personal skill. Eventually, there came a knock on your door and you opened to find Wanda with her flat iron and make-up bag in tow. It’d long since been decided that your room was the gathering center.

   Wanda helped you finish touching up your outfit and you waited on your bed while they finished getting ready. Nat occasionally quizzed you on certain situations and how you should act depending on the tones and moods of the conversation. You tried to explain that you didn’t have difficulty reading a room but Nat tested you all the same. 

   “And if he puts his hand on your thigh?” She called out from your bathroom.

   “Then he loses it,” you practically sang in response.

   You were met with a flying hairbrush and laughed at the onslaught.

   “You’re not the only one with that mentality,” Wanda called out as well, her iron glossing over thin strands of hair.

   “Nat knows I can handle myself.” You sat up on the bed and went over to your closet to collect your favorite pair of shoes to go along with the formal attire Nat selected for tonight. “What a coincidence that we happen to have a company party the same night we have to extract information,” you hollered over your shoulder, moving aside terribly worn shoes while you scoured for the pair you had in mind.

   “This objective has been in the works for weeks now,” Nat released the tendril of hair from around the barrel and pinned it to her head so it could cool.

   “Wow, thanks for the heads up, then.” You gripped the desired pair and placed them beside your nightstand for later.

   “The plan wasn’t solid until we knew for a fact that Rumlow was coming. It’s a company party so it’s not mandatory but once he heard you were making an appearance, it didn’t take very much persuading,”

   You rolled your eyes and plopped back down on your mattress, “He’s so annoying, I doubt I can hold much of a conversation with him,”

   “Take a shot or two to ease your nerves, if he sees you drinking it’ll put him at ease too. He’ll be more inclined to drink,” Natasha recommended. “But don’t act too out of character. If you were always curt and short with him and suddenly you start acting over-friendly, he may get suspicious. He’s an idiot but he’s a paranoid one,”

   You nodded, taking a mental note to have a half-empty bottle in your grasp when Rumlow arrives. If he thinks you’ve already been drinking, he might also consider catching up. 

   “Y/N? Not uptight for once?” Wanda sarcastically questioned. “I can’t picture it,”

   “Oh, fuck off,” you grumbled and in turn received laughter from the two girls. “Besides, of all of us I’m by far the least uptight. Barnes takes the cake for that one,”

   There was a beat of silence that you didn’t register before you were met with a response.

   “Ya know, he’s not as bad as you paint him out to be.” Nat unpinned the curl from her head and moved on to the next section, “He’s got some serious loyalty and always willing to volunteer first for everything,”

   You lifted your head to stare at her reflection through the mirror, “What are you talking about? He’s annoying and irate and lacks a filter,”

   “Mmm, irate isn’t the word I would use,” Wanda countered, looking over to Natasha.

   Nat shook her head in response, “I’d lean more towards . . . over-protective,” 

  “Much better,” Wanda agreed.

   You squinted your eyes at their image and felt the corners of your lips turn downwards, “Over-protective? Since when are you two defending Barnes?”

   “We’re not defending him, per say.” Wanda glanced over to Nat, “We’re just trying to give you a fresh perspective,” 

   “You could give me a brand new pair of eyes and I’d still see him the same,” you retorted, now leaning on your elbows due to the strain on your neck. 

   They ignored the comment, “And he’s only annoying to you,”

   “You’re telling me he doesn’t annoy you at all?” You asked, an eyebrow raised.

   “More like . . . he doesn’t go out of his way to mess with us.” Nat applied a nude color onto her lips.

   “So you agree that he goes out of his way to irritate me,” you stated rather than asked.

   “That’s been made very apparent,” Wanda responded. “But you have to wonder why,”

   You huffed a little and sprawled back out on the bed just to result in staring at the ceiling above. If you looked hard enough your mind would create pictures from the chaos of the cracks and shapes began to form. Sometimes, when the night lay still and life seemed to dwindle at the edges of your reality, you could swear a familiar face fashioned together and your imagination ran wild with the images you’d see. Some that brought a warmth to your cheeks even now. 

   You shot up out of bed and shook the memories from your vision. Ugh. He haunts you even when he’s not actively tormenting you. How he’s managed to crawl his way so deeply within your skin you had no idea but you fought for control of your thoughts whenever you caught them slipping into that hellhole.

   “Or slipping into euphoria,” Wanda chimed in.

   “Wanda!” You scolded, crossing your arms, “Euphoria my ass,”

   “Yeah, he thinks so too,” she continued and you chucked the abandoned hairbrush back their way. 

   “Stay out of my head,” you jokingly sniped at her but was met with a low chuckle.

   “I didn’t even have to be in your head to know what you were thinking of,” Nat defended and caught your weapon of choice.

   “Are you guys done yet?” You rolled your eyes and stretched yourself out before swiping up the pair of heels you’d chosen and sliding them onto your feet.

   “Why? Are you in a hurry to see a certain someone?” Natasha teased and Wanda let out an eruption of laughter.

   “All right, I’m done.” You made a beeline for the door and threw it open, “Lock up when you’re finished!” You bellowed over your shoulder and made your way to the top floor of the building where all the parties are typically held.

   You didn’t run into anyone on the way up and you used that time to calm yourself, prying inch by inch away from the invasive thoughts that called for you in the darkest hours of the night. But, then again, maybe those tormenting thoughts weren’t that bad? You mean, he certainly IS handsome, very much so actually. And he has the most knee-wobbling smirk you’d ever come to know, not to mention those little tricks he does with his knives always manage to entrance you. God, did he know how to use a knife. 

   On more than one occasion had you caught yourself staring at how his hands encapsulated the hilt of the blade. How they clenched and relaxed, drawing out some of the more prominent veins on one of the extremities; of course, you were even more so enticed by the hand he hid as well. You’d imagined what it felt like to have such strong hands grip onto your thighs and coax you into spreading them open with just a few teasing touches here and there. You couldn’t fathom the front you’d put up would last very long, he was stellar at pulling reactions from you. He’d see you break under his caresses and he’d degrade you like he always did but this time it’d emit a different response from you, one that made you whimper and shake. At that, he’d probably call you a good girl, he definitely seems the type to switch between degradation and praise, and would press his mouth up just where you wanted it the most. You’d try your hardest to be quiet but damn the way that tongue moved against you and the way he’d pull you harder against his face at each sound of pleasure you let slip past your lips. He’d enjoy it, too. Eyes closed as he devours you, he likes to put on a show for you to watch. Give you a memory that’ll slick your thighs later that night if he hadn’t fucked you into a coma by then. He’d make you watch him and if you dared to close your eyes you’d earn a firm, cold smack on your ass. He knows you like when he uses temperature play. He growls a little too, he can’t help his innate behavior. Then, just as the accumulation is coming to its apex he’d pull away abruptly and kiss you straight on your mouth so you can taste yourself and that’d earn him another whimper which would result in another smack that leads to that cold metal trailing its way to your core and just as he pushes the tip of his finger inside-

   You cough and straighten your posture as the elevator door opens. When had you leaned up against the back wall of the elevator? Oh Gods, you could feel the slick at the apex of your thighs and you squeezed them together as inconspicuously as you could in fear that you were producing a . . . scent that would be rather difficult to conceal. But the slick only grew worse when you locked eyes with the person stepping into the elevator.

   Fuck.

   “That’s what you chose to wear?” He asked, a certain venom in his tone that immediately calmed the ache in your heat.

   “And what would you have me wear instead, Barnes?” You quipped back, your body facing forward as he took his place beside you in the cramped space.

   There was a beat of silence. Then another. “Not that,” he responded.

   “Well I’ll make sure to ask you next time since you have such impeccable taste,” you retorted, your eyes yet to abandon the sight of the closing doors.

   You weren’t sure of all the effects of the Super Soldier Serum that had been injected into Bucky and all that it heightened but you prayed to any God that would listen that his hearing wasn’t one of those things. You were too preoccupied with attempting to settle the hot pulse beating between your legs to worry about how loud your discomfort came across.

   “What do you look so nervous about?” Bucky’s gruff voice prodded. “You can’t possibly be nervous about the mission considering how big-headed you are,”

   You took a deep, long breath and held it to soothe you. Had you not been so previously preoccupied, you’d have given him hell for the insult. “I’m not nervous about that,” you sniped and rested back against the cool wall to satiate your burning skin before lifting your gaze to him only to find him already examining you.

   “Of course not, I just said that,” he retorted, bringing a gloved hand to his face to rub along his jaw, “there’s obviously nothing for you to worry about,”

   You scoffed, “And why is that, Barnes?” Cue the dramatic crossing of your arms. 

   “You’re smarter than Rumlow and significantly better trained. Overall, he really doesn’t hold a candle to your ability,” He paused for a second, his whole frame tensing until he remembered to relax, “But that’s not really saying much considering it’s Rumlow,” 

   You hadn’t noticed you raised your eyebrows until you felt your face fall, “Ah, there he is. You had me worried there for a second, Barnes. Thought you might actually try something new and display common decency for once,”

   A corner of his mouth turned up subtly and he shook his head. You trailed your gaze down to his hidden hand and stared long enough to burn a hole through the fabric.

   “If something’s bothering you, Dollface, go ahead and speak up,” 

   You weren’t sure what possessed you to say anything, especially knowing how touchy the subject was for him but the words left your mouth anyway, “I don’t know why you insist on hiding yourself,”

   He lurched his head back, your statement seeming to have a physical affect on the man and you mentally slapped yourself for saying anything.

   “I’m not hiding myself,”

   “But you are,” you interrupted, your thoughts coming out in pools of candor, “you aren’t your hand. You aren’t your past. You are you. Presently. You’re not the Winter Soldier anymore. That’s not even the same hand you had back then. It’s not tainted and neither are you. I say drop the gloves,”

   “And why would I care about what you say?” He growled, his eyebrows furrowed together and his neck tight in potential restraint.

   The elevator dinged and you looked towards the opening doors, “You don’t have to but they don’t look right with your suit either.” You walked through the exit and sauntered over to the others who had already gotten the party started, leaving Bucky dumb-founded behind you. “I need a shot,”

   “Already ready,” Tony quipped up, holding the small glass in the air for everyone to behold before bringing his cheek to yours in mock welcoming, “This’ll up your tolerance for the next hour, try to get all your drinking done within that time-frame,”

   You pulled away with a warm smile after faux kissing his cheek, “Finally!” you displayed and threw the liquid back in one swift motion, your face scrunching together against your will.

   “Yeah, she’s got a kick to her,” he mumbled and handed you a fruity drink to chase it down with. 

   You went around and said hi to everyone as you recognized most of those present. You made small chatter with those lesser known and drank the liquid in your hand significantly quicker than you’d like to. You excused yourself after you finished the drink and walked over to the bar, scanning the room as you were handed another glass. No Rumlow in sight.

   You headed towards the foosball table and gripped the handles after setting the beverage down on the counter beside you. You flinched as a reflection of light caught your eye and at first you thought your glass was the source. Until your eyes fixated on the reflection’s actual origin. To your far right, and up a few steps you found Bucky conversing with Steve, a dull light emitting from his hand. Not a glove in sight.

   “So, where’s your boyfriend?” Sam inquired when he filled the opposing spot.

   You rolled your eyes, “Bucky’s not my boyfriend,”

   “Bucky?” Sam’s tone chirped up teasingly, a knowing look wearing on his face.

   Your grip tightened around the handles and you slowly pulled away to throw the little white ball through the circle, your hands immediately twisting the miniscule players around. Your eyes shot back and forth, your sight never leaving the darting sphere. Sam still managed to win the first point.

   “Ha!” He shouted in triumph, bringing his finger up as if to scold you, “Don’t think you got away with that comment either, Y/N,”

   “What comment?” you questioned and gulped most of your drink before slamming it back down on the table.

   You heard your earpiece come to life with quiet static and you tried to keep your face masked. Rumlow had entered. Not a surprise either, the party was finally starting to pick up now.

   Sam threw the ball in and you turned the players meticulously this time, brute strength hadn’t helped you earlier so maybe you should take it slow. Steve made his way over to the table and threw his drink back, the liquid trickling down the side of his face before he wiped it away. Sam won the second point.

   “I play winner,” Tony chimed, standing beside Steve.

   You made a point to catch up and now you two were tied at three each. 

   “Best out of five?” You proposed, quirking an eyebrow at Sam.

   “If you didn’t want to play anymore you could’ve just said that,” he teased and you smirked at him as Tony made a subtle show of handing you another drink and you finished your second. “Loser takes two shots?”

   “Deal.” You nodded, knowing you didn’t have much of a choice as a small crowd began to form around you two. Rumlow amongst them. 

   Your jaw dropped when Sam shot the ball directly into your goal as soon as he’d let the ball go.

   “What the fuck?” You shouted, “No fair! That doesn’t count!”

   Thor erupted in laughter to your right and you blinked slowly, staring at the gargantuan man. 

   “It most certainly does,” Sam shouted back, his grin practically touching his ears.

   “Sam, take it easy on her,” Bucky muttered from beside him, quickly averting his gaze from yours and his expression loosened, “The brat hates losing,”

   “Brat?” You snarled.

   Bucky took a swig of his beer, watching you the entire time and you reeled back the fire beginning to form in your chest just to bring your drink up to your lips and chug the entire thing down. You handed it over to Tony who left to replace it. 

   “Last point,” Sam stated, “It’s not too late to quit now,”

   You shook your head and blinked away the feign distortion you were supposed to have. “Just play the ball,”

   “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he teased and threw the ball in. 

   You wanted to win. Desperately. But you had a character to play tonight and she was supposed to be drunk. So you hit your hand against the corner of the table just as Sam happened to make the winning point. You grumbled and threw him a glare when Tony broke through the crowd.

   “Coming through,” he shouted, handing two small glasses to you while you gripped your knuckles in pain. “Noooo, you’re not getting out of taking these. C’mon, take your punishment,”

   “Yes, Daddy,” you grumbled and cringed at your own words when the realization hit you. Whatever. You were supposed to be drunk, anyway. 

   “Daddy?” Tony quipped and pulled the drinks back towards himself, “Maybe you should be cut off,”

   “What?” You argued, leaning slightly on the table with your hand and snatching the drinks from Tony’s hold, effectively spilling some on yourself. “See?” You lifted up the half empty shot glass, “This barely counts as a shot,”

   “I’ll get her a new one,” Rumlow offered and disappeared before anyone could argue. 

   “She really doesn’t need another-” Bucky tried to interject and take the shots from you but you twisted around and chugged down the one full glass.

   Water.

   You looked up at Tony and his smirk was barely noticeable. But you could tell. Bucky nearly ripped the other drink from you but Tony blocked his path and you exaggerated your next drink as Rumlow broke back into the crowd, shot in tow.

   “Here.” Rumlow’s calloused hand held the drink up above you and you stared at him with a questioning look. “Open,” he ordered and the fire burning in your chest fought to destroy everything in its vicinity. You bit your lip in refrain but tossed your head back and opened your mouth.

   Static broke over your earpiece. Don’t drink that! Wanda’s voice erupted.

   Your eyes widened as the liquid made its way down but you coughed hard to stop whatever you could. 

   Why? Steve’s voice came through right after.

   You choked on the liquid and shut your eyes at the way it burned its way down. You reached your hand out to grab someone’s drink to ease the burning and grasped a tall glass and tossed it back. The burning didn’t ease up and you felt a hand rest on your back.

   “Are you okay?” Rumlow’s voice rang out and your skin nearly recoiled from the contact, “How about we get you some water?”

   You looked up at him when the burning subsided minimally and nodded your head, letting him lead the way to the bar. He parted the crowd and someone took step right behind you to follow when the presence suddenly died out abruptly. You turned around to check who it had been and found no one.

   Why? Steve asked again.

   Where’s Wanda? Bruce broke through.

   You lifted your head and flitted your gaze around the room until you found the familiar Sokovian on the couch, laying down with her eyes closed. You pulled away from Rumlow but his grip on your hand tightened and his steps grew in haste. You whirled your head to yell at him but the way the room swayed with the movement cause you to shut your mouth in surprise. 

   Didn’t Tony say you would have a higher tolerance?

   “Couch...” you muttered, pointing over your shoulder just in case your target was curious enough to ask but the message was delivered.

   Rumlow hoisted you up onto the bar stool and stood on your open side, using his body to keep you from falling over. Or to cage you in.

   “I don’t feel good,” You rested an elbow on the countertop and held your head up.

   “I can’t imagine you would. You’ve been chugging those drinks like they’re water.” Despite that, Rumlow motioned to the bartender and asked for two more.

   You giggled and your head lulled forward with the action. You let Rumlow catch you from tumbling over. Why did your body feel so heavy? Not to mention the way everything around you dazed about. You couldn’t catch a single action, let alone attempt to read Rumlow’s body language. But you did happen to notice the way his eyes searched the room before coming back to you.

   “You okay?” You rested your forearm against his chest and pushed slightly to allow yourself a better view of his face.

   A small smirk, “Am I okay? What about you?”

   You smacked your lips and brought the ice cold glass to your lips. That’s not water. “I’m doing reeaalllyy good,” you drawled.

   Rumlow chuckled and pushed you deeper into the chair, “I can tell.” He took a sip, his attention never faltering from your body, “Just be sure to pace yourself from here on out,”

   You made a show of cocking your head to the side and letting a smile sprawl onto your face as you studied him. 

   “What?” he questioned, a curious lift in his brow.

   You shook your head gently and kept your gaze on him over the brim of your glass, “You’re just . . . not what I was expecting,”

   “And what were you expecting?” 

   Don’t forget to bat your eyelashes. “Worse,”

   “Sorry to disappoint,” he jeered, his attention once again cast throughout the room before centering back on you.

   You followed his action but quickly came to the conclusion that moving any pace faster than a sloth was going to make you nauseous and you could barely keep a thought together. Your stomach began to rise in your chest and the fear seized your throat shut. Why couldn’t you hold onto a thought for longer than a second? It was like you were aware of your lack of consciousness but could do nothing about it because any thought or bout of panic phased through just as soon as it arrived.

   “What are you so tense for, Rumlow? You know you’re not currently on the clock, right?” You teased, your head leaning on your shoulder as you spoke.

   He brought his drink up to his lips and finished it off in three gulps, “I’m not tense. It’s just hard to turn it off sometimes,”

   You nodded slowly and pushed your drink towards him, “Relax. You know everyone here,”

   He shook his head and placed your drink back in front of you before asking for another beer.

   “And two shots!” You shouted to the bartender, throwing two of your fingers high up and instantly regretting how fast you’d done it.

   “Are you trying to get me drunk?” He asked you, a side smirk beginning to form.

   You placed your finger over your lips and hushed, “Shh, I won’t tell if you don’t.” You dragged your lower lip down and his eyes fixated to commit the scene to memory. “Besides, I always feel dumb if I’m the only one drunk,”

   He motioned to the rest of the party, “Believe me, Sugar, you’re not the only one enjoying yourself,”

   “But are you?” 

   “Am I what?” 

   “Enjoying yourself?” 

   Your skin crawled when he placed his rough hand on your barren thigh, “Absolutely,”

   Don’t forget what you’re here for. Don’t let the objective slip. Gods, how the fuck were you supposed to retain anything when you were so sleepy? And why was it so warm?

   “Hot,” you mumbled, fishing around in your glass for an ice cube to rub on your face.

   “Thank you,”

   You threw your head back in laughter and nearly earned yourself an up-close and personal view of the floor had Rumlow not wrapped an arm around your waist and held you steady. Once he was certain you weren’t going to toss yourself onto the ground, he parted your legs and stood between them to keep you rooted to your seat.

   All the movement had you spinning and you white-knuckled Rumlow’s cotton shirt to keep yourself grounded to something, anything. Red warning lights were firing up in your chest and you tensed with the way your body buckled to the panic coursing through you. Your heart pounded in your ears and danced across your skin, lighting it on fire and making the room too stuffy to bear. Please, no. Not now. Focus. Snap out of it. Come back, stay back. Your breathing hitched and you looked down at the sensation crawling its way up higher on your thigh. Too hot. Everything was too hot, if you didn’t get out of this now you would never-

   “Vision!” You cheered, happy to see your friend.

   The presence on your thigh recoiled slightly.

   “I’m taking Wanda to her room, seems she’s had a bit too much to drink,” Vision informed and you’d only just then noticed the body in his hold.

   “Wanda!” You smiled, admiring her peaceful features as she slept in his arms. You poked at her cheek then jerked your gaze back up to Vision. “What? Wanda doesn’t drink,”

   She’s not acting, Sam’s voice erupted in your ear and you flinched at the sound. 

   Vision’s eyes went from you to Rumlow then back to you slowly, “Y/N . . . are you okay?”

   You beamed at him and slowly brought up your thumb. “Good,” you responded.

   You followed Vision’s gaze back up to Rumlow and smiled at the agent beside you. You guess he’s kind of cute. In a strange, unsettling way.

   “She’s had a lot to drink, so we’re just trying to slow down the pace. Aren’t we, Y/N?” Rumlow looked down at you.

   You nodded fervently, “Yup!” 

   Vision hesitated but knew he didn’t pose much of a threat with Wanda in his arms unconscious, so he quirked a smile and walked towards the hall.

   Someone get to Y/N, something’s not right, Vision ordered and you lifted your head up to find him. You could have sworn he just left.

   “Here.” Rumlow handed you a glass, “Drink this, it’ll cool you down,” 

   You stared at the glass in his hold and looked up at him, “You drink it first,” you slurred, holding your finger up at him.

   He cocked his head to the side but took a swig of the drink and you watched it go down his throat. You shrugged and grabbed at it.

   Do not drink that, Nat ordered from somewhere and you looked around in wonder at who she was yelling to.

   Bucky, Sit down! Steve growled.

   Like hell, responded a voice you knew all too well.

   Your smile grew and you looked through the crowd, “Bucky!” You feverishly called, completely expecting to see him before you. Rumlow’s head lifted instantly, his eyes scouring the area.

   “I’ve got this, Pretty Boy,” Tony hastily spoke, “How ya doin’, Hot Stuff?” He interrogated and you reeled at the tone.

   “Quite well, thank you,” you responded tenaciously and attempted to take a swig of the drink in your grasp.

   Tony’s hand shot out and covered the top, slamming the cup back down on the counter and effectively getting the drink all over your dress.

   “What the fuck?” You tried to shout but the words came out heavy and required too much energy to speak.

   “You’ve had enough for tonight,”

   “It’s just water,” Rumlow defended but Tony paid him no mind.

   Your jaw dropped open and you glared at the older man. Who the hell did he think he was? Tony’s stare burned through your skull and despite your irritation, you couldn’t help but wonder why he was so pissed.

   “Are you mad at me?” You drawled, lulling your head to the side.

   “No,” he responded curtly. 

   “Am I being too loud or something?” You pushed. You couldn’t imagine you were any louder than any other drunken bastard at this party.

   “No,”

   Get her out of there or I swear to God I will, his voice hissed into your ear.

   Your eyebrows rose slightly in excitement, “Mmm, Bucky,” you smiled and Tony nodded.

   “’Mmm, Bucky’ is right. Wanna go see him?” Tony offered, sticking out his hand for you to take.

   You fell forward into Rumlow’s chest but shook your head furiously none the less, “For what? So he can tell me I’m horrendous at my-”

   Oh shit. Your job. The job.

   If only your body didn’t feel so heavy and your mind so light.

   You pushed off Rumlow’s chest and glared at Tony, “I can handle myself,” you insisted, a new sort of sober tone making its way through that caused him to do a once-over. “I know what I’m doing,”

   “How many drinks have you had?” Tony challenged and you fell silent.

   Then you felt a tap, and another and a few more.

   “Six,” You said, hoping you’d counted right.

   Tony, don’t you even fucking consider it, Bucky threatened.

   “You could at least change, recuperate and then come back,” Tony offered and you sighed a breath of relief before nodding.

   “Deal,” you agreed, “I’m hot anyway,”

   Tony gave you one last glance before turning around and blending into the crowd on the other end of the room.

   You looked up to Rumlow who’s gaze was still locked on the sea of people, “Don’t you wish you’d taken that shot now?” you tried to jeer, every last word bringing you deeper and deeper.

   “Are they always that intense?” He questioned, not turning his attention to you.

   “They can be over-bearing,” you admitted, hand grabbing the water from earlier and pressing it up against your forehead, “They consider me the baby so they’re always criticizing and suffocating until I just wished they’d disappear.” You took a gulp, “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the family and I like that I have a cause but . . . they don’t let me do anything. It’s exhausting,”

   You let out a long breath and smeared the condensation from the glass onto your chest. Rumlow studied you then, not just your body but your reaction. He was watching how you dropped your shoulders at the confession and how you faced your back to them to block them out. 

   You plastered your torso on the countertop and tried to slow your heartrate down. You couldn’t be the only one here unfathomably hot.

   “Why is it so fucking hot?” You questioned, fanning yourself weakly.

   “There are a lot of people around,” Rumlow offered, “how about we go somewhere else? Tony did say you had to change,”

   You peered up at him through half-lidded eyes and meekly groaned in compliance. “Fine,”

   You lifted yourself away from the counter and gently placed your feet on the floor. You’d touched the ground faster than anticipated. Had the ground always been so close?

   “Don’t worry, I gotcha.” Rumlow threw an arm around your waist and helped you trudge towards the elevator.

   Where the hell are you going? Bucky yelled and the sound of shuffling could be heard from his end.

   We can’t let you leave with Rumlow, Y/N. We’re not even sure you’re acting anymore, Sam stated.

   Rumlow pressed the button when you couldn’t muster the strength to do it yourself. The level that your room was on lit up and the doors began closing. You thought you saw Rumlow wave at someone but the mock smile on his face didn’t make it seem like a warm good-bye.

   Your legs had all but given out by the time the elevator reached your shared floor. 

   “Heavy,” you muttered, letting Rumlow carry your weight fully.

   “I know, Sugar. We’re almost there,” he soothed and you conceded to the fatigue wearing you down.

   Your head hung low and your arm dangled uselessly at your side. The familiar sound of your door sliding open caught your attention but you did nothing. You couldn’t. 

   “How . . . know . . . my room?” You questioned, each word causing you to pull from an empty well of energy.

   “I’ve been here before.” Rumlow tossed you onto the bed and sprawled you out.

   “Oh. Ok.” You tried to turn on to your side but strong hands gripped down onto your ankles.

   Rumlow sighed and slipped the heels off your feet, examining the pair like he wanted to wear them. You extended your feet until you felt every muscle in your leg stretch to its capacity and let out a groan of pleasure at the release. Those shoes hurt so bad.

   “You seem . . . intelligent, Y/N.” Rumlow dropped your shoes onto the floor and slithered to the side of your bed, standing beside it with his hands tucked into his pockets.

   A bead of sweat trickled down your forehead, “Hot . . .” you croaked and he nodded.

   “You’re right. It is getting kind of hot.” He brought a hand up to his neck and ripped off the tie hanging around it.

   Get the fuck out of my way, a growl erupted in your ear.

   We’re going with you, Buck, Steve responded before knocking something over.

   “So, what I have a hard time understanding is. . . why you’re here?” 

   You groaned a weak ‘huh’ but even that didn’t sound right.

   “You’re good at what you do, you finish every mission successfully and yet you’re underappreciated.” He took a seat at the foot of your bed and placed one of your legs into his lap, “Why do you allow them to treat you like that? We wouldn’t,”

   The shuffling in your earpiece halted.

   “We?” 

   He began to massage your calf and brought your knee up to his lips, peppering light kisses on it. “We could use someone with your skillset, babe. We’d take real good care of you,”

   The shuffling started again.

   Rumlow had made his way onto your thigh at this point and you let out an involuntary moan when he skimmed over a delicate part on your inner knee.

   “Ya like that?” he questioned but didn’t wait for a response. He brought a hand up to his temple and grabbed the earpiece. You figured he just hadn’t taken it out from his earlier shift but when he pulled it apart, you understood why he always kept it on him.

   “Flash . . . drive earpiece?” Your weak tone tilted a little. “W-why tell . . .”

   “I figured I’d give you the option to leave since you seem so . . . suffocated. If you said yes tonight then I would remind you tomorrow. If you didn’t,” he chuckled, “well, you wouldn’t remember anyway.” His hands trailed to your mid-thigh and you squeaked. “I’m impressed though, I’ve never given anyone else as much as I’ve given you tonight. The drug usually works so quickly on others, but not you. It’s kind of hot, actually,”

   Sick fuck, Natasha growled through a ragged breath.

   The world around you was slow or maybe it was you that was slow? You couldn’t tell, honestly. But when Rumlow moved as if he could predict your actions before you could make them, you wondered whether you were moving at all.

   “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon,” Rumlow sighed.

   You shook your head, or thought you did but despite the way your body was live-wired, it remained still against all desire. 

   Fight. Move. 

   You managed to push your legs shut but his hand slithered between and spread them open similar to opening a door, but this required much less force.

   “Kill,” You threatened and the sinister smile that crawled its way onto Rumlow’s face was vile enough to sink your heart into your stomach.

   “Kill is fucking right.” Someone snarled and your door was ripped from its hinges.

   Rumlow’s hand jerked away from your body and Bucky seized his open palm, intertwining their fingers and pushing Rumlow’s so far back that they touched the back of his own hand. The cracks were sickening onto themselves but had you not been so weak you would’ve turned from the sight altogether. You really couldn’t fathom how his fingers were still attached at all.

   “Lay another hand on her and you won’t be able to use it again.” Bucky spit.

   Despite Rumlow’s pain, the sinister smile remained sprawled on his face, “You should’ve heard the noises she made,”

   Bucky’s grip tightened and the bones in his palm broke next, “I did,”

   Natasha flew in right behind Barnes but completely dismissed the two and headed straight for you with a needle in hand. Your eyes shifted from the needle to Nat’s face and back again until she stabbed it into your upper arm. Ouch. 

   “Wha-”

   “Shh,” Natasha hastily hushed, “Keep your strength, you should be back to normal soon,”

   Steve came behind Nat and scooped you up to lead you out of the havoc going on in the room. Nat turned her focus to Bucky and reached over to grab the earpiece from Rumlow. Who knows if his nose will ever heal back normally. You held one finger in the air as Steve stepped over the splintered door.

   “Goddamit, Y/N,” Steve huffed, jogging towards the elevator and pressing the floor that led to the infirmary.

   “We won,” you croaked out, a small smile on your face and Steve shook his head.

   “I’m never going to hear the end of this,” 

   Steve looked you up and down for bruises but couldn’t find any and you promised you weren’t lying to him when you told him Rumlow did not get very far in his ‘advances’ at all. You had to swear the mid-thigh was the worst that it came to. 

   Bruce was the one that took a few blood samples and made sure everything was reversing back to normal. Apparently, as soon as Rumlow took you to the bar Tony handed Banner the shot glass that Rumlow gave you and Banner ran analysis on it. The cure was pretty easy to find.

   After being given strict orders to lie down for the next hour or so, it had been decided that Rumlow was to be turned in considering all the evidence required to make the arrest was in the flashdrive and everyone was to gather together for a ‘family night’. Whatever the hell that meant.

   You were in the middle of debating which movie to pick with Steve when the infirmary doors flew open.

   “Where is she?” Bucky nearly shouted upon seeing Bruce.

   “That’s my cue.” Steve stood up just as Bucky rounded the corner, “If you need anything me and Banner will be right over there,”

   You smiled and thanked him then turned your attention to the super-soldier who just arrived at the foot of your bed.

   He didn’t say anything for a while, just looked at you. No, not really. Not at you but through you. A few painstakingly slow seconds went by that way.

   “You owe me a new door,” you joked, a half-smile on your face.

   “Are you okay?” He asked, finally registering your presence.

   You nodded slowly, “I am,”

   Then a few more seconds.

   Bucky turned his gaze down to his hands, both of them barren and on display for the world to see, before shifting his weight between either foot, “Did he- did he touch you?”

   “Not really. Just really liked my legs for some reason,” your attempt at another quip didn’t reach Bucky. He stared back up at you waiting for an answer, an honest one. You sighed, “The damage is more mental,” you admitted, now you were the one not able to look up, “I didn’t like being in this altered state of mind. It’s invasive and . . . scary. He could’ve done things, much worse things but it never got that far or that bad. It was more realizing that I wasn’t completely conscious or present and having that state of mind be taken advantage of, that mostly frightened me. Ya know?”

   “More than anyone,” he answered immediately.

   You looked back up towards him, finally making eye contact, “But I’m fine now, really. Just a little spooked. Steve wants to do a movie night tonight and I would actually prefer that over being alone.” Your eyes fixated on the way his hands clenched and unclenched on the bar by your feet, “If I’m alone then I’ll get stuck in my head about it. Besides, I consider this a hard victory with a few bumps in the road,” 

   He chuckled, lulling his head a bit, “You’re too stubborn for your own good,”

   You shrugged, “Maybe. How’s Rumlow?”

   Bucky hissed and moved over to the side of the bed where he took a seat, “He’s unconscious. And has a hand that he’ll never be able to use again. But other than that, he’s fine,”

   You chuckled and Bucky watched how the laugh met your eyes. He liked that look on you. It was one of his favorites.

   “Why are you looking at me like that?” You questioned once it fell silent between you two again.

   “You called me Bucky earlier,” he remembered.

   You scoffed, “I call you Bucky all the time,”

   “Not to my face,”

   “Not to your face,” you agreed, a teasing smile dancing on your lips and Bucky had one that mirrored yours. 

   “It was nice. Hearing it, I mean,” he admitted and a wave of warmth made its way to your face.

   “I see your hands are exposed,”

   He looked down as though he weren’t aware that he’d taken off his own gloves, “These bad boys? A friend of mine reminded me that I’m not my past. I’m my present. Why hide my growth?”

   You twiddled your thumbs together, “She sounds smart,”

   Now he scoffed, “Oh, it wasn’t a girl, it was some old buddy of mine.” He quirked up a brow, “Unless the person being a girl would make you jealous because in that case it was most definitely a girl,”

   You fought against the natural tug at the corners of your mouth, “Is she at least pretty?”

   “Stunning,” 

   “Smart?”

   “Genius,”

   “Good at her job?”

   “Amongst the best,”

   “Then consider me jealous, Barnes,”

   Bucky chuckled and you watched how the laugh met his eyes. You liked that look on him. It was one of your favorites.

[littlepadika]

Calling Home (5) | Frankie Morales x Reader

Summary: You are a receptionist at the VA. Frankie Morales keeps calling. Yearning ensues…

Rating: E (18+ only)

Warnings: age gap (legal), dilf!frankie, praise kink, voice kink, size kink, low self esteem, discussion of addiction/ptsd/trauma/triggers, divorce drama, no use of y/n, no beta reader, DDLG🎀, unprotected piv sex, oral m and oral f, hickies galore👅, mild BDSM (cuffs⛓, choking).

Masterlist here

AN: Whatta ride... but all things come to an end🥺. i'm blown away by the support for this fic. Thank you all 💕.

Chapter Five

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frankie had his own mental list of stuff he needed to do before you would arrive. He dunged out his closet to make room for your clothes. It was long overdue. He had a lot of things he didn’t wear anymore that needed to go. He went out and bought some more plates and silverware since his two plates and Rosie’s plastic plates would not do. He no longer looked around his home with a sense of loneliness, now he pictured all the places you could fit in. He could see you reading by the window in the living room so he bought a comfy new chair to put there. He noticed your small plant collection in your apartment and thought you’d maybe like a bigger one in the back yard so he bought a planter box.

He was reading your novel, titled Our Little Kingdom, while your candle burned. You didn't give it to him at first. While you were in the bathroom and Frankie washed your dishes, he noticed a stack of papers poking out in the trash. It was your manuscript. When you came back and saw him reading it you tried to take it back but Frankie insisted and you caved. It was good. Frankie wasn't just saying that because he loved you. He could see how great writers had influenced you and still it was uniquely your voice. The story, too, was compelling. He couldn't help but imagine you as the protagonist as she was just as sweet and clever.

You were making good progress on your list. You had put in your two weeks notice and started to applying to jobs in Miami. You enjoyed working with veterans so you hoped you could do something similar again. As two weeks went by you were disappointed you still hadn't heard back from job interviews. Packing was a little more difficult. You didn’t know what was worth taking and what was worth leaving. You knew Frankie had most everything already so it was a matter of picking your most special things. The rest you were slowing taking to Goodwill in batches.

You had completely forgotten you sent your book in to publishers until a flurry of emails came in on the same day.

Frankie woke up in the middle of the night to his phone ringing. He sat up pulling the phone towards him. It was you. Why would you be calling so late? Maybe something was wrong?

“Frankie?” You sounded congested. He heard a sniffle. Frankie furrowed his brow at that.

“Hey. Is everything all right?”

“ They-they-“ you could barely get it out “they rejected me.”

“Who?”

“All of them. All of the book agencies.” You threw yourself onto your bed, hot tears running down your face.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry, sweet pea.” Frankie didn’t know whether to be sad or angry. He thought your book was amazing. He sat up and flicked on the bedside lamp. “They’re idiots. Every one of them.”

“They’re experts, Frankie.” You felt more tears leak from your eyes. “Maybe I’m just not a good writer. Maybe-Maybe-" You hiccuped and low cry slipped from your mouth. You covered your mouth, taking in raking breaths. It was agony to admit this to him when he believed in you most. You felt like you had let him down. Frankie's heart literally ached in his chest as he listened to your quiet weeping over the phone. He waited for you to continue, feeling his own eyes grow misty.

“Don’t disappear on me, little pea. Let me hear that voice of yours.”

You were unable to speak. Scared of what may come out. You felt like your walls were closing in around you and mocking you. How did you ever think you could be a writer like all your favorite authors? You were so stupid, you thought.

“I let you down.” You said shakily.

“No no no, little pea.” Frankie said quickly. “You could never let me down. I don’t need to a book agent to tell me you’re a good writer. I know you’re writing is beautiful and perfect. Just like you.”

His praise caused another wave of tears from you.

“Daddy…” You bawled.

“I hear you, baby.” Frankie heard his own voice shake with emotion. He never hated the distance more than he did in this moment. He needed to wrap you up in his arms. “Close your eyes, sweet pea. Use that big imagination of yours. Pretend I’m there with you.”

“Imagination isn’t good enough, daddy.” You blubbered, fat tears slipping from your eyes.

“I know, baby.” Frankie’s heart was breaking. “But try for me okay?”

You clamped your eyes shut and tried to focus in on his breathing on the other end of the phone. Frankie did the same, closing his eyes.

“Good, sweet pea. Focus on daddy.” He wished he was there to comfort you, wrap you up in his arms and shield you from the cruel cruel world. “I’m next to you. I’m holding you so tight.”

“Hold me tighter!” You begged holding your pillow pet to your chest.

“Okay. I just did.” Frankie whispered closing his eyes as if it would be more real. “Feel that?”

“Yeah…” A moment went by as you steadied your breathing. Tears eventually stopped falling, drying against your cheeks. Frankie’s steady breathing anchored you.

“I loved your book. It was really really good. And fuck it, I’ll publish it myself.” Frankie couldn't help but raise his voice.

“Silly.” You sniffled.

“I’m serious, sweet pea. Who needs those stuck up assholes.”

“Hmm yeah, you’re right.” You agreed, voice softening with sleepiness. You pushed your face into your pillow. You could still smell Frankie if you really focused. "I miss you, Frankie."

"I miss you, too."

"I still haven't heard from any jobs. And- maybe I'm just not good enough and-" You felt more tears fill your eyes.

"Shhh shhh" Frankie interrupted "Listen to me. You are the best. The right thing will turn up i'm sure of it."

"But it's the only thing left on the list!"

"I know..." Frankie pulled over your copy of the list that you wrote for him. He had crossed things off as you reported to him. "Let's see if they get back to you tomorrow." Maybe he was being too hard on you, making you get a job first. He only wanted to put it on there to give you some independence over the move. He didn't want you to feel like you had nothing to do once you got here.

Frankie waited until your breathing evened out. He called your name quietly. When he got no response he assumed you fell asleep. He didn’t want to hang up. He missed you so fucking much and he felt helpless.

When he woke up the next morning, he said goodbye to Rosalia as usual, called in sick, and started driving north. Fuck the list. You were coming home with him now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Of course Frankie called you telling you he was on his way. You felt bad for making him miss work but your excitement overpowered any guilt. You set a timer for 14 hours and started packing with new energy. Your eyes were still puffy from your tears last night. But you repeated what Frankie said like a mantra. Who needs those stuck up assholes. There were tons of ways to self publish nowadays. It didn’t have to be through a publishing house.

When you ran out of things to clean up and pack, you watched out the window waiting to see Frankie’s blue pick up. You had changed into sleep shorts and a t shirt. While you had a plan to dress more sexy you ended up accidentally packing that surprise in one of the boxes earlier today. It was getting dark when Frankie finally pulled up. He looked exhausted but still… Frankie. He was wearing his favorite hat and grey t shirt. You ran down to the street to meet him. He’s pulling empty boxes from the bed of the truck when he sees you sprinting towards him.

“Sweet pea!” He smiled as you launched yourself into his arms. “Oof.” You buried you face in his shirt inhaling his scent. He rubbed your back affectionately enjoying having you back in his arms. “Aw… it’s okay. It’s okay now.” He murmured when he heard you sniffle. He oddly felt his chest swell with pride at how much you missed him. He never had to worry about how you felt about him. He peeled your head off him by stroking your head. You looked up at him with a watery smile. “You ready to blow this popsicle stand?”

You snickered at his dad phases. “I’m ready. Well… I still have some stuff I need to pack up. Too heavy.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Frankie kissed you chastely. You pulled him in for more though, fisting his shirt in your hands. “Mmm no no. Work first. Play later.” Frankie pulled back. You pouted but have to agree with his logic. The faster you packed the faster you could leave.

Back in your apartment Frankie got to work taking apart your bed and dresser. You finished packing your clothes and dusting.

“Hey what’s this? It was under the bed.” Frankie walked over holding a gift bag with pink tissue paper sticking up.

“Oh…” You quickly grabbed it away. “That’s supposed to be a surprise. For Rosie.”

“You got her a present?” Frankie was touched by your thoughtfulness.

“Yeah I mean… I figured it might make her like me more.”

“She already likes you, but she can never have too many toys.” Frankie stepped further into your space. You realize at that moment how sweaty he was from moving all the furniture. It was so late at night and you were both exhausted but the sudden rush of his thicker smell made you feel wide awake. “Can I see what you got her?”

You handed the package back over, watching him gingerly move the tissue paper to the side. His eyes softened when he saw the pink unicorn pillow pet sitting in the bag. A mini version of yours.

“Am I too presumptuous making us matching? I don’t know if she likes unicorns and-" Frankie cut you off, dropping the bag and kissing you up against the wall. He wasn't even sure what part of that turned him on, just your sweetness and wanting to be a part of his family. He held your face in his hands, his grip forcing your mouth open. You felt yourself start to grow wet. You loved when he just went caveman on you. Sometimes he didn’t have the words to express how much he loved you so he reverted to touch; to deep kisses and deep thrusts. His hands trailed down your exposed legs so he could lift you up on his hips. You held onto his shoulders as he swung you around. The bed was gone, the couch was gone.

"Fuck. Hang on."

You laughed as he ran you out to the kitchen to set you down on the counter. You pawed at his pants trying to undo his belt, but Frankie was faster, unhooking your bra from under your shirt and then pulling your shirt over your head. He took your hand and placed it over his large bulge between his legs.

“Feel what you do to me…” He gritted through his teeth his chest rising and falling sharply.


“Frankie- oh my god-please let me” You pulled he belt loose. At first he stops you. “I didn’t get to last time. Please?” He bit his lip considering your plea. He really just wanted to give and give and give to you. But he had been mean last time, not letting you touch his cock. So this time he doesn’t stop you as you unbutton his pants and pull him out of his boxers. You licked your lips as his cock fell into your hand, curving up towards you.

You hopped off the counter, getting onto your knees before him. “Take off your shirt… please?” He obliged. You kissed down his belly feeling it tighten against your lips. He watched you with fire in his eyes, his mouth slightly parted. You pushed the rest of his pants and boxers down. You stroked him slowly with both hands.

“You have to tell me what you like…” You held his cock and licked a long stripe from the base to the head making him moan weakly. You repeat the motion adding a few kitten licks at the end, lapping up the stray drops of salty precum. Frankie was struggling to think let alone speak. He gripped the countertop above you, his other hand going to the back of your head.

“Just- go slow.” You followed his instructions, slowly taking his length in your mouth. “Good-good girl.” He clenched his jaw staring down at the sight. Your hot mouth felt like heaven and your innocent eyes staring up at him was just the cherry on top. You took his dick as far as you could before you choked lightly. You were by no means an expert at giving blowjobs but you were frustrated you couldn't go further. Your jaw was already aching from his girth.

“Mm don’t hurt yourself, baby.” He hissed unable to hold his hips still, he jerked a little against you making you whine. “Come back up, remember to breathe.”

You slowly pulled off his cock before going down again. Frankie’s hand on your head gently guided you so you didn’t hurt your throat. You added suction, applying pressure on the underside of his cock. You started to find what he liked based on his sounds. You still couldn’t take him all the way in your mouth, tears gathered in corner of your eyes from the effort. Your hand pumped the rest that wouldn’t fit.

“Oh fuck.” Frankie gasped his hips jerking again making his cock slide back into your mouth. You moved one of your hands to his hips looking up at him to say it was okay. “Are you-you want me to fuck your mouth, sweet pea?” You nodded eagerly. You put one of you hands on his length where he wouldn’t fit. He gathered up some of your hair in a makeshift ponytail and slowly thrust into your mouth. Like he always did, he waited for you to nod and give him the okay. When you did, he couldn’t help the growl that left his throat. Drool leaked from your mouth onto your chest as he sped up using your head more forcefully. You were sure you had soaked through your panties. It turned you on so much to see him take control, use you for his pleasure, but still his grip on you was firm and gentle. Every grunt went straight to your pussy. “Such a good girl letting me use this hole, too.” He rasped. “You’re crying around my cock.”

“Mmhm” You hummed around his dick making him groan. He was close. He was battering the back of your throat. You could recognize the furrowed brow and the tightening of his balls. You intensified your ministrations.

“Good girl, good-I’m gonna cum in your little mouth.” He pulled out of your mouth with a wet pop. “Stick out your tongue, sweet pea.” He ordered. You obeyed, watching greedily as he fisted himself harshly the tip of his cock hitting your tongue. You placed your hands on either side of his tummy, anticipating his load. His chest was flush and his eyes were fluttering shut. When he came he yanked your head up harshly as cum splashed onto your tongue. You loved this perspective, watching his face contort with pleasure. You tried to take every drop but some dripped down your chin. “Swallow.” Frankie ordered roughly still maintaining his grip on your head. You swallowed, his warm cum sliding down your throat.

“Thank you, daddy.” You smiled up at him, wiping some of the stray cum off your chin. He let go of your hair, now stroking your head then your jaw. “Did I do well?”

“So good.” He chuckled and helped you stand, his breath still ragged. You squirmed pressing your thighs together. The move not missed by Frankie. “Did sucking my cock make you wet, sweet pea?”

You nodded shyly before saying “It’s okay though. You don’t have to-it’s late and we have a long drive tomorrow.”

“You’re always looking out for me but what kind of man would I be if I left you all needy. But you have to ask for it, sweet pea.”

“I kinda just want your mouth if that’s okay?” You asked feeling too tired for a full round of sex.

“Of course.” Frankie smiled. “Your mattress is still in the bedroom.” He led you in and helped settle you on the center of the mattress. He pulled your shorts and underwear off, staring at your slick reddened pussy. "You soaked your little panties, sweet pea. Did you touch your little flower while I was gone?" Frankie asked, pulling apart your legs.

"I-I tried to. But it wasn't the same."

"How come, little pea?" His patronizing tone had your cunt clenching. He was teasing you.

"It wasn't your fingers. I needed you." You huffed, trying to push his head down onto you.

"Mmm poor thing." Frankie chuckled, the rich sound giving you goosebumps. He felt his cock start to harden again despite you just sucked the soul out of him moments ago. He slowly licked up your slit moaning at the taste of you. Your head tipped back as he he slowly inserted a finger into you. "Eyes on me." He instructed. You forced your head back down so you could make eye contact. "Play with your tits for me." You obeyed, squeezing the flesh in your hand. He returned to his task, taking your clit in between his lips, quickly escalating your climax. Your hands never stood a chance. He inserted a second finger, curling it against you. They were so thick and long it hit that spot deep inside you it made you gush.

"Oh my god. Daddy-I'm-" You teetered on the precipice your breath caught in your throat. Your entire body erupted in flames as your mouth open in a silent scream. Frankie's eyes widened as your pussy strangled his fingers before fluttering uncontrollably. Your cum dripped onto his hand, he quickly replaced his fingers with his tongue trying to catch it all.

"That's it." He felt you finally take a shaking inhale. "Breathe, sweet pea. Breathe." Exhaustion hit you hard as every muscle relaxed.

"I'm sleepy..." You slurred.

"It's okay. You can go to sleep." Frankie leaned up kissing you, smearing your slick all over your mouth. He returned to licking your pussy less aggressively though. "I got you."

You nodded before drifting off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning you dump the last of your stuff at goodwill, packed the truck, turned in your key, and hit the road. You were bouncing in your seat with excitement. You hadn’t ever traveled south of DC. The landscape was beautiful. You and Frankie took turns driving, belting Fleetwood Mac on repeat. You forced Frankie to take obligatory selfies to remember the journey at rest stops or whenever the view was worthy. Over halfway to Miami you paused at a rest stop for a quick nap. Frankie was anxious to get you home and he didn’t want to stay put for too long. He was used to long drives and quick naps, but you weren’t. He didn’t want to exhaust you because there was so much he wanted to show you when you arrived. You laid across the backseat of the truck with your head in Frankie’s lap as the sun was going down.

In the early morning Frankie finished the drive. His own excitement increased when he was back in the city. You had your head nearly sticking out of the window looking at everything. You couldn’t believe how sunny and warm it was here. Frankie turned down a residential street. “Almost there.” He said. You buzzed in your seat.

Frankie made one last turn into a driveway. You instantly got warm feelings looking at the house. It was painted seagull grey with white trim. It was wonderfully symmetrical with two windows on the first and second floor with window boxes outside the first floor window. The front yard was nicely mowed.

“Your house is so cute!” You hopped out of the car, your legs enjoying the chance to stretch. The air smelled slightly salty being so close to the beach. The sun felt wonderful on your skin. You could have laid down in the grass and just fallen asleep.

Frankie showed you around his house with your hand in his, pointing out random things of importance in his giddy state. You followed him around with bright adoring eyes. Despite looking forward to this moment for a while, you barely looked at anything except for him. You could care less about where the tile for the fireplace came from. You didn’t remember Frankie’s story about how Will messed up his back moving in Frankie’s couch in because it was hitting you over and over again that you were home with Frankie. You didn’t pay attention to the story behind Rosie’s crib because Frankie was here with you. His warm hand holding you close like you may disappear. He was here with that damn cute excited voice as he showed you around his home, soon to be your home.

“Sweet pea? Earth to sweet pea?”

“Hmmm?” You smiled apologetically. Standing in the kitchen, the sun pouring in from the window above the sink bathed Frankie in golden light making him look ethereal.

“I said- we should start moving boxes in before it gets dark.”

“You haven’t shown me everything yet.” You realized.

“What did I miss?”

“Your room…” You swung your entwined hands back and forth.

“Our room, sweet pea.”

“So I won’t be sleeping on the floor?” You laughed.

“Never.” He kissed you briefly. “I just haven’t cleaned up in there and I need to make some space for your stuff and-“

“Frankie.” You quiet his rambling with another kiss. You couldn’t stop kissing him. “Your house is immaculate. That’s the room I want to see.”

He swallowed harshly before he led you up the stairs and down the narrow hallway to his room. While showing you the garden and the other rooms he was giddy but now he seemed more flustered. When you opened the door you could see why. Your candle was sitting on his bedside table. It was the first thing you saw when you walked in.

You immediately break away from him, going to inspect his bedside table. Glimpses of Frankie that made you love him all the more. Your candle, your books, your list, his sergeant pin, and an old alarm clock.

“Was this what you’re so embarrassed about?” You asked picking up the candle. It was almost used up. He averted his gaze. The back of his neck bright red which you recognized as a sign of his nervousness. “Frankie…” You set it down and took both his hands in yours. You couldn’t even convey what it meant to you. He had missed you that much that he burned your candle.

“I have the real thing now.” He said pulling you against his chest, dragging his nose over your cheek in reverence. You hummed in contentment. “This is our room, sweet pea. Our home.” He whispered.

“Our bed.” You added moving his hands to rest on your ass, wrapping your own around his neck.


“Eager girl.” He tutted, kissing just below your ear, squeezing your ass lightly.

“I can’t help it. I’ve waited so long, Frankie.” You tilt your head up resting your forehead against his.

“You’ll never have to wait again, princesa pea. I’m here.”

“Then I want you now.” You tugged him towards the bed. Falling down onto his comforter you were hit by a puff of his scent. Laundry detergent, old spice, and that indescribable musk that was Frankie. You barely got a chance to enjoy it before Frankie is falling on top of you. You laughed as he pulled you up the bed until you’re against the pillows. He's about to rip your clothes from you but-

“Wait wait- I have a gift for you.” His eyes lit up.

“Frankie…” You smiled “You didn’t have to get me anything.” He pushed away from you, walking over to his dresser. He pulled out a small package.


“Here.” He handed it to you.

You sat up. You felt guilty you didn’t get him a gift. You slowly peeled back the tape trying to save the paper. It was wrapped so nicely.

“Come on, rip it up. It’s just paper.”

“No… I wanna save it.” You argued, pulling it open finally. You stared down at the contents in your lap. It was a book with a pink cover and loopy writing. Our Little Kingdom. “Frankie… this is- this is my book.” You felt your eyes swim with tears.

“I know.” Frankie knelt in front of you. “I read it and it was so good. I wanted to get it bound. I was serious when I said want to publish it. I want to make it happen. But if you don’t want to at least we can enjoy it how it’s meant to be enjoyed.”

You flipped through the pages smelling the fresh paper. You reached the end and noticed Frankie had slipped in something as a book mark. It was a torn half of a check. “This is…”

“The check I tore up. I use it as a bookmark so I thought you would-“

You launched yourself at Frankie, a habit you learned from him when words were just simply not enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up, you were surrounded by Frankie’s scent, warm sun hitting your face. Frankie wasn't there. You heard movement downstairs. You threw on the first shirt of Frankie's you could find. You practically skipped down the stairs, heart leaping when you saw Frankie in his PJ pants and nothing else sitting at the kitchen table. His body was lit up in the morning sun, he looked like a goddamn dream. He was shoveling some cereal into his mouth but he stopped when he noticed you. He still looked so sexy to you in this moment, his strong arms and big hand gripping the small spoon. His chest littered with small hickies you made. You blinked a couple of times wanting to imprint this image into your brain forever.

“What are you doing up so early?”

“The sun woke me up!”

“Shit. I would have made you some breakfast or something.”

“That’s okay.” You smiled going to stand in front of him. You kissed him, licking some of the milk from his lips. Your hands rested on his bare golden shoulders. You loved how wide they were and how solid and warm they felt.

“Mmm is this mine, sweet pea?” He tugged at the Fleetwood Mac shirt hanging down to your thighs.

“No, it’s another boys.” You teased.

“Don’t joke about that, little pea.” Frankie warned with a small swipe to your ass.

“I’m sorry, daddy.” You giggled. “I was only joking. No one else has cool shirts like you.”

“You want some cereal? I can also make eggs or pancakes or-“

“I want-” You slipped your hand over his pants. You could feel his slightly hard cock sitting below. “This.”

“You already had some last night and you still want more?” Frankie groaned his thighs spreading further around you. “I thought you’d be sore, sweet pea.”

“I am.” You admitted kissing him quickly. “but I still want you.”

“Mmm…” Frankie pulled your hand away watching you pout. “I think you need to eat something first.”

“No I don’t!”

“Come on, I’ll let you sit on your special seat.” He tapped his thigh. You debated this. You decided to do what he asked, not wanting to test your luck so early in the day. You hopped up on his lap wiggling back until his semi hard cock was pressed against your back. Your thighs sitting over his legs, your pussy peaking out from his shirt. Frankie rested his big hands on your bare thighs rubbing the skin back and forth. You closed your eyes enjoying his touch. You could feel his breath against your neck as he looked down at the sight.

“Do I look good on my special seat, daddy?” You asked looking up at him.

“Perfect, my little pea.” Frankie smiled. He pulled the cereal over and you popped a bite in your mouth. You didn’t normally like cereal but since Frankie asked…

“Okay, done. I’ve eaten.”

“Woah I hardly call that eating.” Frankie shook his head. He placed a hand on your stomach, fingers splayed out over the entire width almost. He applied a little pressure which had you squirming again. God his hands were so big and warm just above where you needed him. “I can feel little rumblings telling me you’re hungry, sweet pea.” You rock against him more intentionally making him catch his breath.

“Not for cereal.” You bit your lip.

“One more bite, sweet pea. For daddy?” He rubbed his beard into your neck which never failed to make you to laugh.


You took another spoonful of the soggy cereal before looking up at him for approval. He chuckled as you chewed quickly. You looked so cute with your cheeks full. It made cock ache.

“Good job, sweet pea.” He smirked when you swallowed it all. He lowered his hand down to cup your pussy which was already dripping. You hand flew to his thick forearm.

You melted against him as he rubs your clit slowly. Last night was hurried and desperate but now it was like he had all the time in the world. You listened to him take large inhale against your neck, smelling you.

“You look so beautiful, sweet pea. In my shirt. In our kitchen.”

“Fuck…” You moaned. His fingers felt so wonderful and thick against you. You fucking loved the sound of that. Ours.

“I’m gonna fuck you on our table.”

He lifted you up with ease, pushing your back down on the table. The sun coming through the window bathed your body in soft light. You looked divine. Frankie had your legs spread wide, tongue on that pussy before you could even blink. “Holy shit. Daddy!” Your hands clenched into fists at your side.

“Sweet pea.” Frankie pulled off, lips wetted by your slick. You blushed under his hot gaze. “Why don’t you pull my hair?”

You whimpered as he took your little fist and put it in his beautiful locks. “I want to but… the last person I was with didn’t like it.” You turned your head to the side trying to hide your embarrassment. His hair felt like silk in your hands.

“Hey-“ Frankie gently grabbed your chin and turned you to look at him. “You don’t have to hide anything from me.” He was leaning over you, invading all your senses, but of course the aspect that hit you hardest was his voice. Soft and reassuring. That rich baritone that made you fall in love in the first place. “Pull my hair, baby, I wanna know how well I treat this pussy. You won’t hurt me.”

You nodded feeling your eyes wet with tears. His affection never ceased to shock you. He kissed you, softening your worried look with each stroke of his tongue. When you were relaxed, he returned to your pussy. He was a fast learner for the times, applying the pressure you needed with his tongue while hitting that spot inside your walls with his fingers. Your hands were laced in his soft hair tugging almost unconsciously.

“Fuck-Daddy" You gasped feeling your breath. Your stomach tightened but you still felt like you weren't quite to your breaking point. "I can't- I need- I need-"

"What, sweet pea, what do you need?" Frankie paused, looking at you struggle above him. You grabbed his hand which was holding your hip and moved it to your throat. "Holy shit." Frankie's eyes widened.

"I need you to push me over-" you struggled to think of how to explain it but Frankie started applying light pressure over your throat making your cunt tighten around his fingers. The strain on your airway finally brought you to the edge. He returned to your clit and didn’t let up even as your walls clamped and gushed around his fingers. Didn’t stop as your back arched off the table, your toes curled, and your hands pulled his hair almost painfully. He let go of your throat when you tapped his wrist and your breath returned ragged and sharp, extending your orgasm. You brushed some of Frankie’s hair from his forehead and he looked up, making eye contact, as his lips suckled on your clit lightly. You didn’t say anything for a moment, feeling your body come down from that peak, basking in Frankie’s loving gaze between your legs. You felt boneless.

“I love you.” You murmured. Frankie surged up, capturing your lips in a wet kiss. He pulled back and kissed the happy tears falling from your eyes that you didn’t realize had fallen.

“I love you, too. I’m never letting you go.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m home.” You wrapped your legs around his waist, needing to feel that promise inside you. Needing his promise filling you up.

“Are you sure you’re not too sore?”

“I’m sure.” You ran your hand through his hair, now addicted to the feeling of it.

Frankie slowly eased himself into your pussy. It was harder without lube. You winced a little once he was fully inside. Fuck he was so big.

"Am I hurting you?" Frankie felt bad and started to pull out.

"No please." You arched your back trying to hold him inside. "I'm okay. I want- I want-."

"Sweet pea..." He bit his lip as he struggled to resist thrusting into you.

"And if I can't walk- then you can carry me." You wiggled your hips. Frankie couldn't help but laugh at that not that he minded carrying you around. "Please, daddy." You asked one last time as you dug your heels into his lower back. Frankie placed his hands on your waist and started fucking into you slowly, withdrawing almost all the way out before thrusting back in again.

“I’m so proud of you… taking my cock like a good girl.” He kissed you softly, moving to kiss a train down your neck to your nipples and back up. "You're home now." You nodded in agreement. "This is our little kingdom, sweet pea.” Your shallow breaths slowly transformed into moans. You felt your muscles relax a little and signaled he could start moving faster.

Needless to say the cereal on the table shook and spilled as he fucked you. Spilled milk on your table. His cum spilled inside you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frankie enjoyed hosting so much since Rosie’s birthday he wanted to have a Fourth of July barbecue. With your help he took the decorations to the next level. Hanging fairy lights over the patio, and renting a bouncy castle for the kids. In an act of irrational niceness, you had said it was okay if Laura came by, that way Rosalia would be there too.

Frankie was clear he had no desire to hide you. He wanted to show you off. Still, you dreaded meeting Frankie's ex. Rosalia had warmed to you quickly even preferring you to hold her. You already loved her so much. Today she wanted you to follow her everywhere and watch her play. Frankie was stuck behind the grill but he still could watch his girls playing. You were wearing a lovely red sundress which Frankie was looking forward to stripping off. It brushed your thighs in the breeze and it was perfect height for Rosalia to tug on when she wanted to be picked up.

“You’ve done a great job with the decor.” Laura appeared at Frankie’s side.

“Thanks.” Frankie smiled tightly. Her surprised tone confirmed that she always underestimated him.

“You’ve been happier lately.” Laura studied Frankie.

“I guess.” Frankie shrugged turning one of the hot dogs for something to do.

“It just has me remembering the old days. Before everything with you happened.” Frankie prickled at that last statement. Everything with you. She always put it on him totally forgetting how she also made things worse.

“Frankie?” You appeared at his other side, eyeing Laura warily and doing little to hide your dislike. You had seen from yards away how Frankie tensed up, looking down. You wouldn’t let that slide so you went over. Finally removing your glare from his ex wife you look up at him, laying a reassuring hand over his forearm. “Uh- people are getting hungry. How soon until it’s done?”

“It’s ready now.” Frankie smiled down at you, instantly feeling more at ease. His answer let you know he was okay.

“Great I’ll wrangle everyone.” You smiled before darting back to the crowd.

“Who is that?” Laura frowned. “Someone's babysitter?”

“No.” Frankie shut off the grill facing his ex wife face to face. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Laura sounded skeptical. “She’s 12.”

“She’s a woman.” Frankie corrected her. “A woman I love very much.” He wasn’t going to listen to anyone look down on you.

“You should have talked to me before you brought her around Rosie.” Laura huffed, putting a hand on her hip.

“You had no problem parading your boyfriends around during our divorce.” Frankie shot back quickly looking to make sure they couldn’t be heard. “It’s in the court records so I doubt you want to bring it up.”

“Frankie…” Laura seemed to regret what she said.

“Let’s just… move on.” Frankie said as people started to draw near.

“Papa!” He heard Rosie squeal, toddling towards him.

“Rosie!” He picked her up, his anger instantly melting away. “Ready for your hot dog?”

As Frankie and the others started filling up their plates Laura crept closer to you as you were cleaning up some of the kid’s mess by the pool.

“Excuse me. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Laura.” She extended her hand. She was taller than you. Her face was tight as if she was holding in her sneer.

“Hi.” You decided to be nice, shaking the woman’s hand. You introduced yourself.

“So… you and Frankie. “

“Yes.”

“How long has that been going on?”

“A few months.” You said keeping it vague.

“And it’s going well?”

“Yes.” You grew annoyed by her vague questioning. Obviously it was going well since you were here. Her eyes were the total opposite of Frankie's. Hard and cold and icy blue. You quietly thanked god that Rosalia had inherited Frankie's eyes.

“Hmm he’s not doing that crazy thing anymore?”

“What thing?” You frowned.

“Well one time while we were together he stayed up the whole night because he thought some criminal or something was after us.” Laura laughed cruelly. You wanted to slap her for her lack of sympathy. What was funny about Frankie’s fear? “The psychiatrist said there would be delusions but that was just too much.”

“I think I’ve heard enough.” You snipped, trying to keep at least a polite facade. There were people just a few feet away. You prayed the couldn’t hear.

“Hey I’m sorry.” She schooled her features. “Don’t think I’m cruel. It wasn’t easy being with someone like that. I’m trying to look out for you.”

“Thanks for that. I think I'm good though.” You finished picking up the last pool toy and walked away before Laura could say more. You wanted to turn back and say something mean but you were determined to be the bigger person. You didn’t want to start drama that would hurt Frankie and Rosalia. You spent a good minute in the garage after putting the toys back, positively fuming.

“Sweet pea?” Frankie interrupted your thoughts, joining you in the garage. “Aren’t you hungry?”

"I was just cleaning up.” You said though your hands were empty.

“I saw Laura talking to you.” He watched you warily. Fear lapped at him. What did Laura tell you...“Everything okay?”

“She just… a bitch.” You huffed. Your word choice made Frankie burst out laughing. “I’m sorry I know you married her but how? She’s awful and rude and judgmental.”

“I know.” Frankie quieted his laughter, pulling you into his chest. “It wasn’t meant to last.”

“Because she’s a bitch.” You grumbled into his chest making Frankie laugh again. His tummy bounced against yours with his laughter. You loved it. You thought again about what Laura said. How cruel she had been in the face of Frankie’s PTSD. “If she says one more rude thing I may have to smack her.”

“You’re hot when you’re possessive, you know that?” Frankie smiled tickling your sides. “Come on, we should get back before our guests start to notice.”

“Alright.” You agreed, taking his hand and following him out of the garage. You felt Laura’s eyes on you two when you came back to the yard. Frankie got your burger set up for you before doing his. It’s the simple things that got you going; how giving he is. You tried to hide your blush from the onlookers as Frankie asked you ketchup or mustard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once everyone went home you and Frankie laid out a blanket in the back so you could watch the fireworks happening on the beach a mile away. He was quiet, at least more than he usually is. You didn’t know what to say to reassure him so again you reverted to touch. You placed your hand on his thigh reassuringly.

“Frankie?” You turned to him. “Do you want to talk about anything?”

“No.” He seemed taken aback by your question.

“Okay.” You moved closer to him until you were tucked into his side.

“You mean about Laura.” Frankie said after a moment. “Just- she didn’t say anything to you to make you upset right? She doesn’t get under my skin anymore. I don’t want her to get under yours.”

“She didn’t get under my skin.” You replied. She said nothing to make you insecure, just make you angry at her is all. “I’m just protective of you, you know. It seems like she was awful to you.”

“It’s fine.” Frankie shrugged.

“No.” You moved to sit on his lap, straddling him. “It’s not. You came back from your deployment probably in need of some comfort and all she gave you was judgment."

“She told you about that night.” Frankie hung his head in humiliation. You didn’t deny it. You didn’t want to upset him but part of you knew he should talk about this. Laura shouldn’t be the only one who holds this memory over his head. “It was my first night back. I just- I swore I heard gunfire. I was freaking out. I was probably acting really scary. I thought they came for me and she-Laura called the cops on me.”

“How could she…” You teared up on behalf of Frankie.

“I ran.” He continued, his voice thick. “I stayed a Will’s and calmed down. That was the end of the marriage.” He rubbed up and down your thighs under your dress. It always comforted him. You tried to think of what to say. His wife, the person who was supposed to love him the most, ostracized him and criminalized him.

Frankie was anticipating you to be afraid of him or push him away, but to his surprised you pulled him into a hug, holding his head against your neck like he was a child. He felt a sob rise in his throat and tears wet his eyes. You were so... kind. It was something he was still learning to accept and realize he deserved .

“You’re right.” You took a breath to relax yourself. “It doesn’t matter what she says. You’re mine now. Not hers.” You kissed Frankie on his nose then kissed his mouth.

“Always, sweet pea.” He rubbed his thumb over the area of your brow that furrowed in residual anger.

“I just wish there were some way…” you chewed your lip. “I have these-“ you pulled his dog tags out from where they hung between your breasts. “Reminds me I’m yours.”

“Maybe I need a necklace too.” Frankie smiled squeezing your thighs. That got you thinking…

“Can I try something?” You asked. Frankie nodded looking amused. You tugged at his shirt pulling it over his head. You never got over how broad he was. His toned arms were flexed holding himself up. You leaned forward planting a wet kiss on Frankie’s neck where it met his shoulder.

“Mmm gonna mark me up?”

You nodded and sucked harder till you were satisfied it would leave a mark. Pulling back you admired the red blooming where your mouth had been. It shouldn’t affect you as much as it did but you loved that he had a physical mark from you. He had scars here and there from cross fire and stab wounds. Some he wouldn’t go into detail. You loved them all but for once you wanted him to have a mark born out of love.

“I’m gonna give you a necklace, daddy.” You murmured tracing the path you would forge, down and around to the other side of his neck. You were gonna make hicks all around his neck like a chain. You leaned back down and planted another mark below and slightly to the right.

“Holy shit.” Frankie groaned, tilting his head back. He felt his cock start to harden under your attention. You slowly made your way across his hot skin until you had seven little wet hickies starting to show through the skin. You traced them with your finger, connecting the dots.

Frankie looked down, watching in fascination. His dog tags were a bittersweet thing, symbolizing his commitment to the military, but you wanted them. You wore them proudly, giving him more closure than 100 hours of therapy. But this... this new chain on his skin represented his belonging to you. “Beautiful, baby girl. Thank you.” He kissed you sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. You pulled away before he could deepen it. You start to lean down again like you were going to plant another hickie on him. He pushed you back and rolled the both of you over.

“Daddy! I wasn’t done yet.” You wiggled against the soft blanket.

“No it’s daddy’s turn now.” He pushed the straps of your dress down your arms, tugging your neckline down.

“But I already have a necklace.” You felt Frankie’s dog tags lying in your cleavage.

“Now you’ll have two. I spoil my girl like that.” Frankie teased. He kissed up and down your neck before settling on his starting place. When he started sucking it sent a lightning bolt straight to your clit. You gasped. You could feel him hard against your thigh, not fully yet. You rocked your hips impatiently, clutching his head against you.

“Be patient, baby.” He warned, pausing his work. You stilled your hips with a pout. “Good girl.” He resumed. You wanted to be naughty but you knew you’d never win that fight. Problem was you were loving his attention on your neck so much you couldn’t help but start grinding against his leg again. Your hand reached down and tried to stroke his hardening cock. Frankie pulled back, his lips swollen from giving you hickies. He was only halfway around your chest now.

“You’re being naughty…” Frankie chided, lightly slapping your hand away from him. You continued squirming under his gaze though you at least look apologetic. Frankie pulled away. “You don’t want your necklace?” Frankie pretended to be hurt.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” You turned on the puppy dog eyes. “Just- your mouth feels so good.”

“If you’re not gonna behave I’m gonna have to make you behave.” Frankie’s mouth curled into a smirk. Your stomach flipped around in excitement. “Sit back up on your knees.” He ordered. You eagerly sat up on your knees, placing your hands on your thighs. Your dress hung around your waist. Frankie stood up and started undoing his belt. You got excited thinking he was going to let you suck his cock but instead he just pulled his belt from his pants and knelt down again. “Remember just say stop if you want to stop.” Frankie reminds you.

You nodded your eyes dilating, staring at the leather in his hands.

“Hands behind your back, baby.” He instructed. You obeyed your knees widening subconsciously. He tied his belt around your wrists. It’s not tight enough to hurt but you certainly could not move your hands without really trying. Frankie licked his lips, staring down at your vulnerable position. “Good little sweet pea.” He cooed. “Now you won’t be able to be naughty. What do you say?”

“Thank you, daddy.” You whispered feeling your cheeks burn at the depravity of your position. The smooth leather of his belt rubbed against your pulse point and Frankie’s smell filled your nose. You’re out in the open. Sure there was a fence but it still heightened your arousal. You were dripping you were sure of it. He knelt before you again to finish his hickies. He held your hair pulling it back to give himself more room.

You tried to lift up your arms multiple times but got stopped by the belt. You whined as he sucked another mark into you and you couldn’t get any stimulation in this position. Frankie let you moan and whine for him but he didn’t stop his mission. He finally pulled back, his hooded eyes evaluated at his work.

“Look at it, baby.”

You looked down at the curved line of hickies running from collarbone to collarbone. “Thank you, daddy, for my necklace. I love it so much.” You looked at his chest. You were matching now. Your lust was momentarily paused as a fresh wave of adoration washed over you. It was so much deeper than sex. Frankie noticed your change in expression and kissed you softly, bringing you back to the moment.

“You sat still for me so good. Now you can ask for what you want.” He strokes your hair softly.

“I wanna-I wanna suck you cock please?”

“Are you sure?” Frankie smiled. “You don’t want my mouth on you or-"

“No.” You shook your head. The emotions swirling in you from lust to love made you hungry for one thing. “I wanna make you cum in my mouth.”

“Fuck.” He groaned before kissing you hard, licking into your mouth. He never had someone as giving and kind and protective of him as you. He could have cried but there was no need because you were his forever. No yearning just living. He reached around to pull off the belt but you stopped him with a small voice.

“Leave it on.”

“Jesus fucking christ.” Frankie stood quickly. You sat up further, your hands still restrained behind your back. Your head was tilted up at him, your dress bunched around your waist, it was the most beautiful fucking sight.

Red blue and white fireworks dazzled the sky above. He picked you up bridal style and carried you inside as quickly as he could while you giggled in delight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things started clicking into place like you were growing along some metaphorical ladder. You were finally where you needed to be. You got a job working at the VA in Miami, running their re-entry program. A small publishing house in Miami loved your book and agreed to publish it for a short run. Frankie took some money out of the Colombia account to cover the rest of the contract. Frankie had the book for sale at the shop pushing it on anyone who would enter. He was so proud of you. And that was all that mattered to you.

Frankie unironically planted sweet pea in the garden, telling you how they are slow to grow, but their delicate flower and sweet smell is worth the wait; just like you. Sweet peas were climbers, with the right support, they would bend to any shape. You knew you could go as high as the sky with Frankie by your side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taglist: @floraandfrost @agingerindenial, @heythere-mel, @icanbeyourjedi, @linnie0119, @pedrosmustache, @thisshipwillsail316, @peterhollandkait, @leias-rebelion, @phoenix-of-loki, @prettypedros, @kennedywxlsh, @punkerthanpascal, @the-witty-pen-name, @twentyfirstcenturyfox, @madslorian, @sarahjkl82-blog, @bison-writes, @lightning-fast54, @maievdenoir, @nicolethered, @kenoobiwan, @danniburgh, @janebby, @dihra-vesa, @yespolkadotkitty, @ilikechocolatemilkh, @headinthestarz, @tanyaherondale, @christina-loves, @dobbyjen, @fangirl-316

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

               『朧』Commemorative release event  【Toshiya】  2021.7.25

                                           Translation&Notes  Part-1

Notes before reading: This is 1st part of the translation/notes of the Toshiya solo online event for the release of “Oboro” streamed on 25th July.  This part is aprox the first 18-20 min of the 45 min total of the talk. 

Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistakes or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated ------

Part 1 

Higuchi Yasuyuki : Hello everyone, this is Toshiya’s Oboro Release Commemorative Event….thank you for watching us….I’m Higuchi Yasuyuki *to Toshiya* Thank you for being here….

Toshiya: Thank you for having me….

H: How is it going?

Toshiya: It’s hot, isn’t it?

H: It is….for real….I want to drink a beer….

Toshiya: That’s right…something very cold and light,right?….

H. says that comments are already appearing on the screen so, they are going to proceed with the talk little by little (he means  people are already watching, as they are already commenting)

H: I met you last year in person because of an article for a magazine *Toshiya nods* We took several pictures and so…. T: Yes, it was for [PHY], right? *Toshiya’s interview featured in PHY【ファイ】VOL.14, you can read it here* H: Yes, that’s it.  After that, unexpectedly, Corona happened and I have interviewed you several times remotely. T: That’s right. H: Are you doing well? T: Yes, I’m doing well…. H: Did something change about your physical condition/health? T: My physical condition…. somehow…. I’d say I lost some weight…. H: Did you lose weight? How? T: I did nothing at all, it was naturally… H: Naturally? Losing weight naturally…. I’m jealous…. T: Well…. somehow…. due to the state of emergency declaration…. I couldn’t go to the gym…. I guess I lost some weight because of that…. H: Because you are losing muscle mass…. T: Maybe I lost some…. Like, somehow, I became a mere shadow of myself *laughs* H: You are burning out…but usually if you don't go to the gym, you will naturally gain weight, right? T: Well, somehow because of the muscle mass loss, I lost weight…. H: I’m jealous of your physical constitution… T: If I don’t go to the gym, I will lose weight…. H: I’m still jealous though…. that’s it….so, this event  will be like a talk event, just like the one we had more or less a year ago… T: Yes, at that place…. H: At Minatomirai…. T: In Yokohama…. H:  The five of you were men in black*…. *This might be a reference to “ Detective Conan“, a Japanese manga series, in which  the primary antagonists of the series is a crime syndicate called the Black Organization. T: It was like   it was the first time that the five of us were in a situation like that... talking on the spot face to face…..*smiles* H: *sighs* It was hell…. T: *laughs* Wasn’t it? H: You were really nervous…. T: Dir en grey can’t talk when the five of us get together….

H: Since when does it feel that way? T: I wonder since when…. I don’t know that… H: But it wasn’t like that from the beginning…. T: But I don’t feel we were that talkative either…. more like…. it’s moments of “who is going to talk first”, “no one is talking now” going on…. H: It’s like you are probing each other…. like” you, talk!”, the atmosphere/mood is amazing…. *laughs* T: *Laughs* It’s like that…. H: Like you don’t answer anything unless you are addressed by your name…. T: It’s like that, it’s like that…. it’s true…. H: I wonder if these five people have meetings in the same way…. T: When it comes to who is going to talk or not, I’m just like “no” …..I feel like relying on others for that…. H: But it’s a band that has been around for a long time, still you all are like “who is going to talk first”…. T: That’s true…it’s like, if someone wants to talk, I’m sure they are going to talk if  they want to….those who want to talk, will talk….

H: Is there any occasion with the members in which you have talked face to face for a long time?  More or less recent…. T: I have no memory of that….*laughs* Higuchi burst into laugh. T: I have no memory of that…. H: That’s amazing… T: That’s right…. it’s amazing…. H: It would be troublesome if suddenly, you are forcibly in such a situation…. T: It would be….it would be troublesome…like…that’s impossible…. H: Impossible *laughs* T: That’s right….I can’t see it happening… H: You can’t…..someday, I would like to do something like that…. T: No way… H: *Laughs* It’s been a year since that event, it’s been already a year but, what kind of things you have been doing?  Do you remember? What were you doing? T: Now I’m solely making songs…I did preproduction stuff….what else?....when there was a live….or more like, when a live was scheduled we did rehearsals….the lives couldn’t be held but we did rehearsals for them… H: Then, it’s like you were preparing yourself for those activities….. T: It was like “let’s put my efforts into something” all the time…. H: It doesn’t seem like it was hard for you to keep being motivated…. T: Until we did the recording of the Rock-May-Kan GIG, nothing changed in me. I was so surprised/shocked because of that…. H: At the time of the Rock-May-Kan GIG…. T: At that time, I feel for the first time a sense of crisis…. that if it keeps going like this, I will not be able to express the things I wanted to. H: It was like a growth/revelation…. T: That’s it…. H: You got a different perspective… T: That’s it…for me….of course I was playing a live….it’s like the mental image of working in bringing together all the feelings into that environment but…. then, among that,  as there are also parts in which I’m rather a person that expresses themselves than a bassist, in my mind, I’m holding an instrument called “bass”, it’s a bass but I have to play without being trapped by it….

H: You mean not being limited by it…. T: I’m very conscious of that…. that’s right….Both of my hands are blocked/occupied but there (at a live), a way of expression is created by myself. I wonder myself if it is this way. For example, people who attended lives told me they had their eyes drawn towards something. I wonder if it is really like that. Like, an atmosphere that it’s created when I’m playing bass. I wonder if they can perceive that because I can express those things…. That kind of power of expression. Even if I did it (at  Rock-May-Kan GIG) as nothing changed, I didn’t feel that….somehow, it’s natural that it feels this way, I thought at the moment “this is bad/problematic) H: However, it was good that you could do a live (with audience) after that…. T: Of course, of course…that’s right, but isn’t being able to do lives something common/natural? Shouldn’t it be the norm? H: Last year around this time, it was the event at Minatomirai, you looked happy with the idea of staying at home…. T: Even now I’m comfortable with that idea…. *they both laugh* I’m pleased with being at home… H: Are you basically mostly at home? Do you like that? T: No, that’s not the case. Somehow, I wonder if I prefer to be at home and have a fun private life….I wonder if I like being at home to have that fun private life…. H: I’m not sure of what the fans think about this but for me, among the five members, the person whose private life is the most mysterious is yours. Things like “in what position does he watch television?” …. T: *Laughs* I see… H: Or “What kind of clothes does he wear when he goes to sleep?”….I can imagine that about the other members but I don’t feel that your daily life is the one I can’t imagine the most.... T: Well, it’s a normal one, just that…..if you all are interested…. H: I’m interested! T: Things I did or say are quite uninteresting but there are many….that are easy to be used to make conversation…. H: I want to make conversation…. T: It’s ok, I’m grateful *laughs* H: Then it’s not like you don’t go out so much…. T: Of course, I have a very normal daily life…. H: Especially now because of Corona…. T: But I go often want to go out for a walk…. H: *surprised* Eh? for a walk? Do you go for a walk like this?*points at him* T: *drinks water* Mmm, well I go for a walk…. H: Don’t you stand out? T: No, not much.  Like no one speaks to me… H: Relatively, you don’t have the feeling of that (of standing out) …. T: *Laughs* There is no sign of that…. H: What are you saying? *laughs* … You don’t feel like that at all….you go on a normal walk… T: I do….

H: Do you have any specific timing in which you feel like walking? T: When it’s still cold in the morning…. recently in the evening… ---- H: I see…. It seems that you spent a lot of time working in a room but with that feeling, I think we should talk about the release we are commemorating today.  This song was one of the many you were doing at that time, right? For you, this song looked as it was going to be selected as a single for sure, you said it yourself… T: That’s right. It's a bit ballad-like and I thought that kind of song hasn’t been released as a single recently. In that sense, it felt really nice to listen and after all, we got asked by the company to make a song that was easy to listen to….it seemed like even if it didn’t become single, it would be a song that would be included in the album… H: You were thinking about this song as a part of the next album…. T: When we decided to make a single of this song….of course I thought there was no problem at all with it being a single but, still saving it for the album would had been a nice “hook” for the album…. H: Maybe the direction of the next album would still be more unclear if this song were kept for it? T: Still, I think it would be ok to just change if we needed to. Nowadays we still don’t know about the direction of the next album though.

[simpz-art-stash]

Late beginnings

Summary: Mac goes out for a drink, and happens upon some advice he takes into consideration about his skewered relationship with Wukong. Before finally taking some action to mend the long burnt bridge. (Author’s note: I barely did any beta reading for this so if it’s worded strangely that’s just how I write without the normal filter on. I’m country so HOWDY) Next Page ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The night was late, but he didn’t care, he might as well have been nocturnal with the way his whole life revolved around the whole stereotype of shadows and shit. He’d walked into a bar he’d passed through a few times before, donning his human disguise of course beforehand, and walked in without sparing anyone else a glance. Before planting his rear in one of the stools seated at the front bar, ordering a drink to get the night started. “I’m really looking forward to seeing that new Monkey King movie with the trailer they just released. You saw it too right?? The whole style of the film is on par with their most recent game- OH, you think they’re gonna make a game of it?? I bet you they wiiiill!~” Ugh, great, just what he’d come here to avoid.

Mac’s eyes glanced to the blabbermouth boasting about whatever new movie was being made about his ex, to see two girls residing a ways down near the other end of the bar a few seats away from him. Both looking to have had a fair night themselves already if any of the cups and plates hanging around their spot was anything to go by. “Probably. I hope it’s better than last game that came out on the Brick 360, the bugs in that thing were gross to deal with.” Their friend commented back. Before looking down at their phone and claiming that it was getting late and that they had to go. “Yeah I’ll see ya Monday!” The chick waved their friend off a lazy farewell after they’d paid their bill before going back to their drink, now taking less tedious sips as the mood seemed to smooth out from their conversation prior. “I see someone’s a pretty big fan of that ol’ man.” Macaque piped up from where he sat, earning the attention of the stranger he’d directed his comment towards. “The Monkey King yeah?” Sparks danced in the chick’s eyes at the recognition of the name, before the stranger perked up and beamed a smile back at him, “You betcha! I’m a total nerd for that legend.” ‘A legend, hah.’ “S’the whole reason I moved to China in the first place.” She jabbed a thumb at her chest, “All the way from America!” Mac whistled, “That’s a pretty far leap to take, even for a legend. What, you hopin’ you’ll get the chance to see em’ or somethin’?” He sneered, taking his glass and lazily swirling it in his hand. “I wish!” She laughed, “Nah I mostly just moved here for work. If anything though it’s cuz a them for where I am now. I’d never even heard of him till about five years ago!” Mac blinked, lowering his drink from his lips, “You’re joking…”

“Not at all! No one hardly knows the story back home. Only reason I found out was cuz I just started gettin’ into anything monkey-related as a hobby.” She pointed at him, “Don’t laugh either, it’s a wildly popular standpoint to have these days online.” Mac quirked a brow at that, he’d hardly touched the internet these days save for whenever he needed some quick info on something he couldn’t find elsewhere. He held his hands up, “Hey I ain’t judging…” He smirked a little to betray the look that he totally was though. It was kinda funny how ironic it was him being there right then. She squinted at him, “Anyways...Yeah, I’d seen stuff of him online, but I’d never paid much attention to it up until recently.” “What made you change your mind?” Mac boredly probed, taking a sip. She simply shrugged, “I was in a dark headspace, guy made me laugh.” He paused, “Wait, seriously??” “I mean have you HEARD half the crazy shit he’s done??” ‘Babe I’ve LIVED through half the shit he’s done.’ “Like, literally, the guy is HILARIOUS. My favorite story out of them all being one where he literally tricked THREE taoist immortals into drinking his own piss!!” She burst out laughing while Mac choked on his drink a little, not having expected to hear that of all things. Sure he’d heard a few of the shenanigan’s his peaches had gotten up to throughout his journey to the west but he’d never heard that one before. Nor had he the patience to read through all that mess of context that had been published either. “Ahhh man, it still gets me…” The chick sighed with a few leftover laughs as she wiped a tear from her eye. “What about you? What’s your favorite story?” She asked. And suddenly Mac felt like he’d been put on the spot as he stared back at her. “Come ooon, surely there’s one that’s gotten your gut rolling.” She pried. ‘Plenty, but there ain’t no way in hell I’d tell a soul.’ “Bahh...there ain’t the first one that comes to mind that I’d like. Honestly I’m not even much of a fan.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Whaaat?? Aw come on! There’s tons of cool n’ funny stories!” “Heh..can’t imagine what you find so charming about a guy who’s too good for his own friends.” Mac spitefully twacked himself mentally for spewing something so personal like that out. Ugh, and he hadn’t even finished half his drink yet… The chick sitting to his left seemed to tilt her head a little before she squinted at him. Her silence being what brought his attention from his drink to her as he blinked back with a quirked brow. “What?” “Your eyes, they’re like raging storm clouds.” She pointed out. He blinked, not really sure how to feel about that. The only one who’d ever really pointed that out to him before was… “...So?” “Nothing!...” She shrugged, turning back away towards her own drink as if no conversation at all had happened between them. Whatever...he had his fill of shit to drink to either way. The night might’ve been late but he was just getting started. “He makes me laugh though.” She pointed out, earning her a glance. “All his stories n’ stuff. If there was ever a man I’d want, it’d be one who could always make me laugh.” “Hmph, not one for strength?” He took a long sip. Ignoring the bitterness of others fawning over someone he’d come to love before he’d gotten so popular. “Strength is fine n’ all, but it can only take a relationship so far..you gotta have more pieces to put in that crockpot of a relationship if you wanna make it taste good. Stuff like patience, honesty, a little bit of everything to help it all come together to make it juuuuust right.” “Hm…” “It can’t be all just you putting the stuff in there either, it’s gotta be a contribution from both gardens. Otherwise you’ll just barren your lands and be left with nothing to spare yourself or others in your life with.” She glanced at Mac, “Relationships are tricky like that, but they should always be a 50/50 split~” She winked. That...actually sounded like pretty sound advice. Something he’d heard a little here and there before but never so simply laid out. Though it made sense from his standpoint, fairness n’ all that. But he’d been that way with Wukong before and it had never worked out, all the bickering and such, so what had gone wrong? “Can I...ask you something?” Mac inquired. “Shoot.” “What’re your thoughts on..a relationship that seemed fine, but then the other changed so much that everything about it fell apart?” “Mmm...care to sprinkle in a lil more context?” The chick eyed him. Mac’s face scrunched up a little, no idea why he was asking some random mortal for relationship advice of all things. “Hey man. We’re both probably never gonna meet again after tonight, so if you’ve got skeletons in your closet, your best place to let em’ out is here. Bartenders are known for being the most well kept secret keepers in all the world after all~” She winked at the bartender in question who simply looked the other way with a look that might’ve suggested such a fact as truth. “Hm…” Ah screw it, “Alright alright…” He sighed and put his drink down, “There’s..someone. We used to be real close, we were strong together but then uh..shit got real and he had to go deal with it. But when he came back he uh, wasn’t the same as before, an I might’ve sorta assumed he was cheating on me so…so we kinda fell out.” The chick nodded, “Ahh..the classic misunderstanding of change and cheating, a tale as old as time.” She seemed to hum a moment before she turned from where she was seated, if not to hop down off her stool and plop down on the one right up next to him. “Uh-” “Shhh, lemme see those eyes.” She squinted, leaning in and staring deep into his. It’d would’ve been really unnerving if she hadn’t said anything about them before, now he was a lil put off that he might’ve been asking a witch of all things for advice… “Right. Well, at least you feel bad about it. So there’s that.” He blinked and his brows furrowed, “Wh- of course I feel bad about it, it was his fault-” He suddenly had a finger pressed to his lips. “Nope! Nooononono, you do not get to throw all the blame elsewhere like that sweetheart. There ain’t no way in hell you’re gettin’ a second chance with them if you keep that up.” She pulled her hands back. His face scrunched up and he found himself crossing his arms, if he had his tail out it would’ve been irritably swaying behind him right then at just how annoyed he was getting at this weird lady and her words. “Oh yeah? An what do you think’s best then huh?” “I dunno if you’d be up for that kinda challenge…” She idly fiddled with an imaginative piece of lint off her sleeve, which only seemed to irritate Mac further at the thought of him not being able to handle Wukong of all people. Like sure he’d gotten his ass handed to him before but he could still hold his own! “Try me.” The chick glanced back at him with a smirk, which caught him off guard for a second before he shot her a glare back. “Alright, but it’s definitely not gonna be as quick or easygoing of a recovery as you might hope it’ll be. Nor is there even a chance of you recovering it in the first place. But, you at least got that spark enough to try so who am I to deny?” ‘Hmpt, dam right I got a spark.’

“First of all, no more blaming, if you’re gonna tackle this properly, you gotta do yourselves a favor an quit it with the blame placing. Sure it’s easy, but it ain’t gonna get you nowhere but back to square one. It’s all in the past, the now is now. So push forward to fix it and put it behind you two so you can focus on the more important things.” “Easier said than done…” “Hey man, even if they don’t follow the same ruleset at first you could always work things out to make it one later on. I’m just tellin’ ya right now so you won’t just go diggin’ yourself a deeper hole.” Honestly at this point he was pretty much six feet down under, death to him would’ve been a mercy right then. “Fine…” He rolled his eyes. “Next up, apologizing…” -----------~----------- “I thought I told you to stay off my island.” Mac didn’t really glance back from where he stood high up on one of the breathtaking ledges that which Flower Fruit Mountain bolstered. His arms crossed, eyes sternly held against the leftover warmth of the late afternoon sun as it shifted the skies hues from blue to blood red. Hopefully that would be the only tinge of red the Mountain would see after today. “I know.” “What, no witty remark? Give me one good reason-” “I just wanted to talk.” Mac stated plainly. “Why the hell should I give you the chance?” “...” Mac wasn’t sure if he could come up with a good enough reason after the shitshow he’d caused him the last few centuries, most recent being his spat with him between MK. “I’m sorry.” That seemed to catch the king off guard, as he paused in his vicious glare to stare at the other. “Excuse me??” “I’m.Sorry.” Mac turned finally to Wukong, that look of fiery malice having softened immensely upon meeting their eyes. “I was wrong for what I did and I’m sorry.” Wukong’s face looked like it had had a stroke with how frozen in place it was, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Hurting everyone around you just to get back at you, I was wrong for doing that. And I just wanted to apologize.” Mac’s face twisted a little, the words coming out a little rougher than he’d liked, but he’d managed to get three steps in so far… “If you think a few sorry’s are gonna be enough to make up for all that crap then you gotta nother’ thing comin Mac.” Wukong finally shook off the surprise and crossed his arms with a steely gaze. “Nah I know they ain’t worth shit with as long as it's been...which it’s been..a really, really long time come to think of it..nearly 3000 years…” Fucking yikes. “What’s your point?...” Wukong raised a brow at him. “My point is...my point..” What was his point? To make amends and hope they’d get back together? To go back to the way things were? That couldn’t be done with the way things were now. Wukong had a successor, a moral compass, a lotta shit that Mac didn’t. A lotta shit that he wanted but never could figure out how to get his own. His face scrunched up a little and he sighed, “I..just wanted to make things right.” “Oh-hoh? After so long you finally decided to admit you were at fault? Sorry Mac, but it’s waaaay too late for that.” Wukong huffed, “Honestly, this is probably just another one of your stupid tricks if anything. The old Macaque would never throw himself down like that.” “Well maybe I’ve changed!” Mac exclaimed suddenly, his temper flaring a bit as his eyes flashed lightning. “3000 years later? As if…” Wukong rolled his eyes and turned away, “You’ve still got that same look in your eyes you always do whenever we fight. Do me a favor and just keep away from the hot springs this time yeah? The last time you were here you sent a whole dam boulder over there and smashed half the pools.” He waved his hand dismissively. “And I happen to take my once a month bath’s very seriously.” Mac’s nostrils flared a little at just how flamboyant Wukong was acting towards him and his attempt to make amends. How he just saw his attempt as a joke and nothing more, it pissed him off. Wukong had changed and everyone had accepted him, well not everyone, but still, why couldn’t the same be for him? Had he really fooled himself into believing that there was a chance he and Wukong could be together again? His shoulders slumped a little. Of course, who was he kidding. A 3000 year old pit of grudges wasn’t about to just up and disappear at the wave of a white flag. This was Wukong, the same guy who still playfully pestered the gods and demons around him for past conflicts that had happened between them. -----------~----------- “But you can’t just go, ‘ooo I’m so sorry for what I did.’ Nah, you gotta follow the five steps.” The chick claimed. “Yeesh, this a learning course now?” Mac tilted his head to the side. “It is if you wanna make things right.” She claimed matter a factly. “The five steps have never failed me before and have worked wonders for any an all my relationships. Might not quite have the same range of effect you’re going for but it’ll at least be a good start.” “Heh, you got the guts to back up that case?” Mac sneered. “I will if you don’t manage to screw it up.” The chick pointed out. “The five steps go as follows.” - express sorrow (I’m sorry) - own guilt (I was wrong) - name specific wrongs (I did X) - name impact (I hurt you) “And finally...” -----------~----------- “What can I do to prove myself to you?” Macaque asked finally. “What can I do to at least make it to where we can..not fight anymore..and just talk?...” Wukong stood there for a long moment, his features unreadable as their silence was muffled by the wind bellowing between them both from being so high up. “You really are serious about this aren’t you?...” Wukong’s head shifted ever so slightly, but not enough to where Mac could get a reading on his emotions. “I’m tired of fighting and waiting and thinking that if enough time passes things’ll go back to the way they were...when they never will. Trying to hurt you isn’t gonna make the old you come back, no matter how many times you beat me down...It’ll never be the same.” Mac admitted finally. A quiet gust settled down between them, before Wukong seemed to let out a dry chuckle and shook his head. “Can’t believe it took me 3000 years to beat the sense into you.” He turned and looked back at the other, where he no longer held a look of seething hate, but more akin to that of the same tired look just as the one Mac wore. Mac felt a sliver of guilt wriggle its way into one of the cracks of his heart and he glanced away, pulling a hand back and scratching his head. “Yeah well...your kid hit me pretty hard last time, enough to knock it in place.” A small smile crept a little onto his face. “Hm~ He’s gettin’ pretty good at hittin’ stuff with that old stick.” Wukong’s eyes glinted a little at the appeal of how proud he was for MK having taken Mac out the way he did. A little over the top and flashy, just like him.” “He’s got a pretty strong master to thank for that…” Mac found himself yearning a little for that same glint to be reflected on his memory the same way as MK’s. Not that he couldn’t see himself holding the same appeal for MK the way Wukong did, kid was strong, just a lil desperate in some of the cracks that shaped his outline. Something Macaque found that was easy enough to take advantage of, and something Wukong held a blind eye to. “Hm.” Wukong’s reply pushed him out of those thoughts for the moment as they shared a brief look between one another. A glimmer of reconsideration flashing between the two before Wukong finally turned his head away to drink in the sunset before them. “One chance.” Mac felt his heart nearly stop at that answer. “I’ll give you one chance, but if you screw this up, don’t even think about showing your face to me again.” Wukong replied, “I mean it this time…” Mac swallowed a little and nodded. Anything, he’d be willing to do anything to gain back what little trust he could from Wukong. “Good...you can start making up for it by apologizing to MK.” Mac blinked and sputtered a little as Wukong turned away and began to make his way back down the mountain. A smile playing on his lips while Macaque groaned to the heavens about his next trial.

[dodo-begone]

Ugly Fuckling

Pairing: Yandere!Xisuma x Reader

Request: mmm for requests: some soft yandere shit with any character, maybe??

Word count: 3.9K

Warning: yandere, cursing, depression (?), Anxiety (?), angst (to comfort), dissociation

Part 2 for this is Now Listen Here Sad Bitches - Stop Being Sad

If this EVER looks funky/glitched (which it def is now) I have this up properly on Ao3.

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The shopping district made you uneasy. Life just seemed to course through the area. Even without anyone actually being there to give it the energy. It was cramped though; everything was practically on top of each other. Yet it gave such a homey feeling. Like everybody who made the buildings actually liked each other; they all were a representation of how everyone was different but still similar to a family. Standing in front of all of the shops made you feel intimidated. Small, insignificant, inadequate.

You start your journey through the district, looking and giving every build the attention it deserved. It was all in an attempt to imbed everything into your memory. After all, you wouldn’t be around for much longer. Someone like you, who was so alien to the server, shouldn’t just try and worm their way into such an amazing community like this. Especially when they have nothing to offer for said community.

You hadn’t realized where you were walking until you stood in front of Grian’s barge. It was so gorgeous and well made. Grian told you how it began as a small little boat build and progressively grew to the giant floating market it is today. The story was awe inspiring; like an ugly duckling, it grew into something majestic after starting at such humble beginnings. Yet it did little to lift your spirits now. Yeah the barge started as a simple build, but it was still beautiful in its tiny state. And Grian had the talent and skill to make ginormous and intricate builds. You had neither of those abilities.

You hadn’t realized where you were walking until you stood in front of Grian’s barge. It was so gorgeous and well made. Grian told you how it began as a small little boat build and progressively grew to the giant floating market it is today. The story was awe inspiring; like an ugly duckling, it grew into something majestic after starting at such humble beginnings. Yet it did little to lift your spirits now. Yeah the barge started as a simple build, but it was still beautiful in its tiny state. And Grian had the talent and skill to make ginormous and intricate builds. You had neither of those abilities.

You hadn’t realized where you were walking until you stood in front of Grian’s barge. It was so gorgeous and well made. Grian told you how it began as a small little boat build and progressively grew to the giant floating market it is today. The story was awe inspiring; like an ugly duckling, it grew into something majestic after starting at such humble beginnings. Yet it did little to lift your spirits now. Yeah the barge started as a simple build, but it was still beautiful in its tiny state. And Grian had the talent and skill to make ginormous and intricate builds. You had neither of those abilities.

Slowly you made your way closer to the barge. At the entrance there were numerous posters all bunched together on a post. All for the mayoral campaign. They were so cute, each having a unique look. Representing their mayors very well. But Scar’s. Oh Scar’s was just elite. It was a plain wooden sign; a small but even more unique technique when compared to the others. Nothing beat some good ole fashioned petitioning. You let out a small giggle at the sight of Scar’s sign next to the others. It seemed very out of place. Seemed like a solid representation of you with the hermits. And at the same time it reminded you so much of the Dream smp.

The Dream smp… your old home. Calling the dream smp home feels wrong; you barely felt safe there, but you knew that you were wanted there. Even if just a few actually cared about you, loved you. You fit in so much better there. Your horrendous builds could easily blend in with the others or better yet, stand out amongst the surrounding disasters to look semi-decent. Yes there were actual beautiful builds, just like any other server, but they were few and far between. Those builds were under constant threat of being griefed or destroyed, just like all of the others. Yet everybody seemed mostly okay with it. They would be upset when it would be destroyed, like any normal person would. But they only had two options when presented with the rubble; pick up the fragments and rebuild from the ground up or forever abandon what was once a masterpiece.

With the hermits, there was order there. The chaos was controlled, which was an odd concept to you. Chaos on the Dream smp ran rampant, destroying anything in its path. And there even seemed to be a “type” of person that was deemed a “hermit”. Thought it was hard to pick out something that everybody had in common. But you knew one thing; you didn’t fit the description of a hermit.

On the Dream smp, everything was always on the brink of destruction and very tense. Things could change on the flip of a dime. Nothing was guaranteed. And yet you still wanted to go back there. To feel wanted, important, enough, to be validated. To be so much more than you were with the hermits. With the hermits, you were only an imposter; everything they said to or about you was a lie. Had to be a lie. Why else would you be like this super kinda and incredible person? The person they were describing wasn't even you. It was a whole different person, how could they not see that?!

Leaning against the outerwall of the barge, you slowly slide to the ground. You start a panoramic view from your new position. It only made you feel worse; you felt detached from your body. Like you were watching a movie of you and your life from an outsider’s view. But you had control of your body and could still kinda see through your eyes, which made it feel even weirder. So more like you were walking through a movie that you weren’t made for; a real person wandering the domain of a cartoon show.

A shaky breath breaks it way through your lips. Trails of tears soon start to trickle down your face, slightly obscuring the view you had. Suddenly the world becomes too big yet too small. Much duller, less important. Everything became too much yet not enough all at the same time. Soon the feeling overwhelmed you so much that you broke down into a sobbing mess. The wanted to hide your face in your hands and knees hung over you like a tsunami wave, but you knew you shouldn’t. These were your last moments and views of the hermitcraft server. Even if you couldn’t see clearly anymore. Any view was better than no view. You tried to muffle your cries; do anything to stay silent and unseen. Nobody really wanted to deal with a crying person. They just felt obligated to.

God you were such a burden on all of the hermits. You could barely support yourself with your shitty little farm. Barely any food was produced. And the hermits kept giving you stuff: ores, food, weapons, armour, just about anything you could think of. Golden carrots, golden apples, elytras, diamonds and netherite were the gifts that made you feel the worst. These were such wonderful, valuable, and useful items. Nobody would give them out for free, even to a friend. Especially as often as they did.

So you’d set out on a journey to figure out who’d gifted you stuff and return it immediately. First you just left them in a chest with a book or sign explaining that you didn’t want to accept their gift. It felt wrong that they were giving them such nice stuff. They’d always bring it back to you though. It burned your heart. Both from how sweet the gesture was and the physical pain you felt taking it from them. After a few cycles of this, people started to stop telling you who gave you that new item of yours. Even when you begged them for answers.

You had to turn to more drastic measures. Every gift you got was soon carefully investigated for any sign of who could’ve given it to you. There wasn't a way to easily get an answer from the other hermits. They had gotten suspicious of your past tactics, so you had to change your approach.

So you went with the closest guess. Even if they weren’t the one to give it to you, you’d give it to them. When the “gifter” left their base, you’d swiftly sneak in and start to put the items back in their storage. Many of them had chest monsters, so it was easier to put the items in their chests. After all, they wouldn’t really notice more items in the giant mess of items they already had. Then there were the ones with organized sorting systems. You’d search for their proper homes and place them in there. Since these people usually had big storage facilities, it wouldn't be hard to hide a few other items in there. What were the odds that they’d notice that they had a little more of an item than they last remember?

Aw who were you kidding, they’d obviously notice a whole inventory’s worth of golden carrots in their chests. But you deluded yourself into believing that your attempts worked. Believing a beautiful life was much easier and felt better than facing the less-than enjoyable truth.

When you finally calmed down enough, you went over your mental plan again. It had to be absolutely perfect. With no flaws or kinks. This couldn’t fail. Every attempt before had ended in fucking failure. You’d look so bad to the hermits if you failed in leaving again. Why did you still care about what they thought of you? That’s such a silly thing to still care about.

Each plan before had one step that’d always thwarted your leave; you always said goodbye to somebody. At first it started with a big group of hermits, but with each attempt the group got smaller and smaller.

When you’d go to say your goodbyes, the hermit you were talking to would get upset. They’d begged you to stay. Or they’d ask you to help them on this one last project. And then another hermit would ask, and then another. Until you were helping a hermit as soon as you finished a project. You were almost never alone for a while. Slowly the thought of leaving would be pushed further and further back into your mind. Until it was practically gone; only echoes of it would remain to haunt you at night. This was a continuous cycle, and you wanted it to end.

This time you weren’t going to get stopped. Having fewer people in the plan makes it easier to leave. That meant nobody was going to get an in-person goodbye. Everybody had an individual letter addressed to them from you and one for the entire server. It was better this way. They wouldn’t have the chance to stop you.

You don’t know how much time passed, nor did you really care. God you wanted to stay here so bad, yet you couldn’t. This wasn’t where you belonged. You weren’t meant to be here.

With a heavy sign, you hauled yourself off the ground and made your way to the edge of the server. Every moment was precious now, so you decided to dawdle as much as you could. Nobody was going to stop you, so you had time. After all, nobody was going to be finding the letters anytime soon.

To savor every last second on the server, you traversed by boat and foot. Yes you’d miss the elytras, but you wanted to travel the old fashioned way. The way you were used to doing it. Elytras weren’t on the Dream smp, so you needed to start getting used to not having them again.

It felt like seconds before you were at the edge. A few blinks and bam! You were at your final destination on the Hermitcraft server. It was now or never. All you had to do was take a few steps over and you would be back on the Dream smp. Yet your feet refused to move. Why weren’t they moving? This was for the greater good. Yes you wouldn’t be happy there immediately, but you’d grow used to it again.

You started to take deep breaths, trying to hype yourself up to take the final steps. It was like three steps, come on. You can do it. The trip here was longer and harder than this. Don’t let something this small ruins all the work you’ve done. God it was like you were like a walking failure. You couldn’t even finish something you started, something you wanted done. A small part of you whispered, begged you to say with the hermits. But it was soon covered by a much louder part of the mind, telling you that this was the best thing you could do for everyone. Come on, they wouldn’t miss you at all. With one final breath, you took a step forward.

“What’re you doing?” a voice seemed to yell. God it was so quiet. Why was it so quiet? Literally any noise was too loud now.

You stopped. Oh no, did you take too long getting here? Man you really should’ve used that elytra instead. Would’ve made this trip so much easier and faster.

Slowly you turn around to see who interrupted you. And low and behold, it’s Xisuma. He was a little ways away from you, which you were thankful for. It was surprising to see him so far away from the server though. Did he find the notes. Shit, fuck, no no no-. You really hope he hadn’t found them.

“I’m just looking around” a nervous shell of your voice answers. It sounded so empty, like the wind could easily blow it away with just a single gentle gust. You desperately look over where Xisuma’s face would be in hopes of finding out what he was feeling or thinking. That mask of his blocked it, so it was futile. But you had to know what he thought about you now. Was he disappointed? Did he hate you? Especially for how you tried to leave?

“This far out,” he spreads his arms out, gesturing to the world around y’all. It was practically deserted. There was only an island, and you two were standing on it. Ocean covered the world to the horizon. Logically you knew you had no reason to be out here other than to leave. You knew Xisuma knew as well. He had to. He was the admin, after all.

“Uh,” you frantically look around, hoping to find anything to help you get out of this tense situation. You hated this. Hated confrontation. This was a reason you left the Dream smp. “Yeah I wanted a good sight for the uh- for the sunset. Yes, the sunset! It’s so pretty when you’re so far from the mainland. Away from all the buildings that could obstruct the view.”

It took a second for your words to finally hit you, and when they did it felt like a slap to the face. “I’m not saying the builds are bad,” you desperately backpedal, trying to change the possible interpretation of your words. “I mean they’re very big. Big and pretty! Yes, very pretty! But they block the skyline so easily and the sunset and sunrise are just hidden by them. And sometimes the light pollution really gets in the way of stargazing- I’m rambling aren’t I? I’m sorry.”

You stared at Xisuma, wishing for him to give you any sign as to what he was thinking. But the black visor thwarted you attempts again; his face was unviewable with his helmet on.

Wait how could you have been so self absorbed to not notice what Xisuma is wearing. He adorned a little bee/wasp (you had a hard time telling the difference at the moment) themed outfit. It was like a whole bodysuit. And he had a little bee/wasp helmet too! Oh my gosh it was the little bee outfit he owned! The one you really liked! He was actually wearing it? The outfit you said looked really good on him? No, wait. He might just like it as well. That’s probably why he’s wearing it. Stupid, remember you’re not special. Especially to anyone. Why can’t you get that through your thick brain?

Xisuma must have seen the emotional trip you just went on. It must’ve been obvious, right? Written all over your face?

“You’re not wrong,” Xisuma starts. “The builds can be rather disruptive of a good view of the sunset or sunrise. But if you wanted a good viewing spot, you could’ve just asked me. I wouldn’t have minded showing you one.”

“That would’ve been such a stupid thing to ask,” you sniffle, barely having the strength to look him in the eyes. Well, where his eyes should be. “Going up to an admin and saying ‘I can’t see the sunrise or sunset well. Can you show me a good viewing spot’ isn’t exactly something you ask an admin. Usually it’s something along the lines of ‘hey this player took my stuff’ or ‘I’m stuck in a hole and need help.’”

Silence smothers the two of you. Your words were heavy. Made your mouth dry too. Wow is it hot out or just you? It’s really fucking hot out here.

“Again,” Xisuma breaks the silence,” I wouldn’t have minded at all. I’m here for you. For the hermits. And I’m here to help. Why do you think my help wouldn’t extend to you?”

You ponder over his question. Now that he states it like that, how can you just make up a stupid excuse? The care he showed in his explanation made you feel warm and fuzzy. Even if it wasn’t a lot. It made you feel special. Just for that moment. He doesn’t deserve a sucky lie. He deserved the truth. You owed it to him. Then you’ll stop being a bother to him and leave. Right… leave.

“Because I’m not a hermit, Xisuma,” you murmur, hugging yourself for comfort. “I don’t think I ever was. Or ever will be, for that matter.”

“And why not,” Xisuma prods, taking a step towards you. “You are a hermit. You’re on the hermit server and you have been for quite a while now. Everyone loves you. They love you so much. I love you so much.”

That question hurts you. It hurts you so much and yet you have no reason for it to hurt you this much. The statement was false and you knew it. So it shouldn’t hold this much power over you. He’s wrong and you know it. But how do you break it to him?

Yeah, break the news to him. The only thing breaking is you. Xisuma’s mask, which you had once adored, scared you. Intimidated you and made you feel inadequate. The more you looked, the worse you felt.

And so you give in. “Because I’m not one of you. I’d never be one of you. No matter what I did, it’d never amount to what everyone else can do! Grian can make magnificent builds, Scar can landscape like a god, and Mumbo can make literally anything and everything out of redstone. Everybody has something that they’re good at, something they specialize in. And me,” your voice cracks. You drop to the ground on your knees, curling into yourself. “I can’t do anything. I can’t build, can’t farm and I can’t even do simple redstone. I’m a literal dunce. I’ll never be able to do anything right. I’ll never be enough, especially on a server like this with so many incredible people like you. And everyone is so nice. I don’t deserve this kindness. I’m a horrible person. And-and I just don’t belong here. It’d be better if a burden like me is gone, out of your hair. It’d be better if I went back to the Dream smp. Where I can’t be a burden to anybody here.” You finally break down. Sobs shook your body and any words that came out after that were unintelligible.

Suddenly there’s a presence near you, giving you a hug. You flinch, but know it’s Xisuma. Who else could it be? He was the only one here with you. He lets go of you slowly, but you quickly latch onto him and hide in the crook of his neck. You really wanted some comfort. You wanted Xisuma’s hugs. You didn’t want to be left alone.

He goes back to gently holding you, quietly telling you that everything was going to be okay. And other things. Everything just went in one ear and out the other. But he’s giving you soft and steady backrubs. You snuggle closer to him. God this was like a whole comfort package! It just made you want to cry harder. And he just stays there! Letting you cry on him. He’s so nice to little ole you.

Soon you tuckered yourself out from crying. You’re so tired, but you’re still crying. Sadness just courses through you. But you’re so tired. Slowly your sobs turn to sniffle and you try to bring him even closer to you.

“Feel any better,” he tries his best to look at you after your sniffles are all that’re coming out of you. It’s really hard to look at someone so close to you.

You nod against him, too tired to answer verbally. Plus your voice probably sounds terrible and wouldn’t be able to handle answering anyways.

He picks you up, holding you close to him and walks away from the border. You’re so thankful that Xisuma is carrying you. It makes you feel so loved. And your body was so weak after your breakdown.

Soon you two are on a boat, heading back to the rest of the hermits. He’s rowing y’all home. You cuddle into him, wanting as much physical contact as you can get. You’re so tired, but you don’t want to sleep just yet. But you still doze off anyways. As you do though, Xisuma starts to talk to you.

“Thank you for staying with us. With me. I really appreciate that. I love you, remember that. I’ll tell you that a million times if I have to. I’d tell you daily, hourly. Whatever you want. Just don’t leave, please. I love you so much. It’d hurt if you left. If I lost you. But it also hurts to see you in so much pain. Oh I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you sooner. I should've seen the signs. But I’m here. I’ll help you. I love you so much. I’ll stay with you as long as you’re with me. I’d follow you to the end and back.”

You can’t exactly hear what he’s saying, but it must be really nice. The tone of it is so comforting. Wait hold up. Weren’t you doing something. Struggling to stay awake, you mind scrambles for an answer. The border. Yes, the border! You were there. But for what? You couldn’t remember anymore. But was it important if you forgot? Oh who cares, you got Xisuma with you! You were home! That’s all that mattered.

As you finally start to drift off, you mutter an ‘i love you’ to him, finally falling into a well deserved slumber.

[yuta-nakamots]

baby don’t like it - j.jh

Pairings - Idol!Jaehyun x Idol!Reader, Idol!Yuta x Idol!Reader

Genre - Idol!AU, Smut, Fluff, Slight Angst

Warnings - y/n is a cheater, phone sex/sexting, unprotected sex, cumshot

Summary - Relationships can get messy as seen by the way you’ve managed to fuck up one that you weren’t even officially in to begin with but at least your boyfriend seems pretty supportive of it all.

Word Count - 9.8k

A/N - Tagging @hunjins​ and @spookyhyuck​ who make their own guest appearances. This was originally supposed to be strictly a Jaehyun fic but then things got out of hand when I was writing for Yuta ahaha never trust me and Yuta like this.

Part of the 23 Days of Christmas Event hosted by @neosmutcollective​. Check out the masterlist here. 

After becoming an idol, there was a part of you that thought that you’d never find love and end up settling with raising a bunch of cats instead but somehow you had the luck of catching the eye of none other than Nakamoto Yuta when both of your groups were promoting alongside each other.

He had approached you first and blatantly told you that he would like to get to know you better and things quickly progressed from there. He took you on dates to so many nice places and it was like you had found your kindred spirit in him. It only felt right when he asked you to be his girlfriend.

In a little under a year, you found that the only drawback from dating him was that he was always busy. It may not seem that way to the public but he was constantly at work preparing things for future releases and you made sure to praise him for how well he dealt with the sheer amount of content he had to put out. Such situations led to a decrease in time for dates and having to settle for late night phone calls instead.

“I forgot to tell you that me and some of my other group mates were asked to be on a variety cooking show this week,” you excitedly told Yuta over the call, “it’s the one where the two groups compete against each other and do challenges periodically.”

You heard the familiar beep of Yuta’s water dispenser as he filled up yet another cup, clueless as to where his original cup went. “I think Jaehyun mentioned something about going on the show. Are you guys filming tomorrow?” Unsure of your schedule you checked your messages with your manager and confirmed with Yuta that you were indeed filming with his members. “I don’t know which other members are going but I can ask and let you know.”

“Oh, it’s okay, you don’t have to.” You told him, not wanting him to go out of the way for you.

Yuta chuckled on the other end of the line. “Just trying to make sure you’re prepared for whoever you’ll be working with.”

You shook your head though you realized he couldn’t see you anyways. “I don’t think they’ll be able to tell that we’re together from just seeing me cook, you know. It’s not like you’re there for me to stare at.”

“I’m flattered to know that you’d stare at me if I were there,” you heard him pick up his cup and open the refrigerator, most likely looking for a snack, “but keep your guard up anyways. You never know if they’ll mention my name or something like that.”

“If they mention your name it’s probably to tease your cooking abilities-”

“Are you saying I’m a bad cook? Because I can assure you that I am not.” Yuta defended with a huff as he closed the refrigerator, a telltale sign that he could not find anything of interest in there.

“I didn’t say that but if that’s what you think I was saying then sure.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” you could practically see him rolling his eyes, “I have to sleep soon since we have some photo shoot tomorrow and they didn’t like it when I came in all tired-looking last time.” He mumbled something about his dark circles starting to show more as he’s getting older. “Make sure you do some cooking research though,” he advises, “Jaehyun’s a really good cook so you’ll have some competition tomorrow.”

“Mmm okay, whatever you say,” sass evident in your voice, “I have faith in my members though so prepare to watch your own groupmates get shut down.”

Yuta quietly chuckled and you heard him flop into his bed. “Alright, love, I’ll get ready to see that,” he paused to adjust himself under his covers, “but no matter the result I’m sure the episode will come out okay because you’re there and I know you’ll do great.”

You smiled at his sweet comment. “Thank you, I trust that your other members will take good care of us too.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure of that,” Yuta jokes, “but again, I know you’ll do a good job on the show, have fun at filming tomorrow, I love you.”

“Good luck at the photo shoot, I love you too, goodnight.” With that, you hung up, already halfway to sleep yourself since you were only really safe to talk to Yuta at late hours of the night, not wanting to alert any of yours or his group mates to the status of your relationship together.

In the waiting room on set, you finally had some time to check your phone after a hectic morning of mapping out with your groupmates, Ivet and Liv, your game plan for the show. It was decided that the three of you would be making a type of mixed ramen with whatever spices and other ingredients you were able to win though you’d have to be careful and keep enough stuff in reserve to make side dishes. Looking at your phone, you saw that Yuta had sent you a few messages in the midst of all the chaos.

Yuta > y/n

8:23am: jaehyun said it’s him, johnny, doyoung, and haechan filming today

8:24am: i hope you prepared well because they certainly did

8:24am: i’d spoil their plans but that wouldn’t be as fun haha

8:25am: watch out for haechan and jaehyun though, they’re planning on distracting you guys

8:25am: i have to leave for my shoot now but keep me updated on how it goes!

y/n > Yuta

9:16am: i’m in the waiting room right now, sorry it took so long to reply

9:17am: but really? They just had to send the most competitive guys huh?

9:17am: i’m not gonna spoil our plans either so you’re gonna have to watch the episode to see what we came up with ;)

You group mate Ivet called out your name from the doorway, “we’re starting soon, you better come join us on set.”

“Coming.” You shouted back as you tucked your phone away into your bag and made sure your microphone pack was wired up correctly.

Once you were out on set, Yuta’s members came out shortly after and filming started. Everything was going smoothly, the group introductions went nicely and it was finally time for the starting challenge. All seven of you were on edge since this was one of the most important parts of creating a successful main dish.

“First on the table, we have udon noodles, salmon, and a loaf of bread.” The host announced, pulling the cloth off the table on the side in the middle of where all the rest of the cooking ingredients were.

“Oh my god we have to get the noodles.” Liv whispered to you, gripping your forearm as the challenge was about to be revealed.

“In order to win these, the challenger must do a dance from the opposing group and be deemed successful by at least two members. The first person to yell out their name may challenge on the count of 3. 1, 2 ,3.”

You shot up from your seat as soon as possible, yelling your name and shouting over Haechan calling out his own, confident in your abilities to dance an NCT song after watching fancams of your boyfriend a little too much. “I’ll dance to Work It.” You stated, mentally going over the choreography in your head.

The music began playing from a little before the chorus and you turned to face the cameras in the front, winking at the most centered one as you mouthed ‘work it’ and started dancing. You heard your groupmates erupt in screams from behind you along with side comments from the guys of ‘oh, she’s pretty good’ and ‘not bad, not bad’.

You ended the dance with a cute pose before returning to your seat next to your members. “Y/n how do you even know the dance to that song?” Ivet asked, totally in shock.

Shrugging your shoulders you replied, “it’s a cool song so I watched their videos a couple times and just picked up the dance along the way.”

“Nah, there’s no way you learned it just like that,” Liv interjected, “you’re so slow at picking up choreo, I know you must have purposely learned this.” Again, you shrugged your shoulders, readjusting the wire of the microphone that got jostled around while you were dancing.

“Johnny, Doyoung, Jaehyun, Haechan, what do you think?” The host prompted.

Johnny was the first to speak up. “I’m in the unit that promoted this song so I know the choreo the best out of us here today,” he stated to the host, “so personally, I’ll be a little more strict about details since the others don’t know the dance that well.”

He looked over at you as he began critiquing your performance. “You had good energy but you were putting emphasis on the wrong parts. It’s the second half of the phrase that should look more cool and chic rather than the first half.” He danced it himself to show you what he meant before turning back to the host. “I do not deem it as a pass but I liked her energy as she was doing it.”

“He’s so annoying.” Liv muttered under her breath. You put a hand on her knee in an attempt to calm her down.

Doyoung spoke up next as Johnny was sitting down. “She’s not a member of our group so we shouldn’t expect her to know all the little things. I think she should pass.”

“I don’t think she should,” Haechan interrupted, “the detail is what makes the dance memorable and unique from other dances like it and since that’s how our members performed it, if she’s supposed to be similar then she should do it the same way.”

“Ah, it’s a pity that we don’t have someone else from the unit here who could offer a more fair vote,” Doyoung commented, “Yuta would be better at this.” You felt your heart stop for a split second at the mention of your boyfriend.

“That’s one vote for pass and two votes for fail. Jaehyun, what is your vote?” The host doled out.

Jaehyun cleared his throat before speaking, looking over at you with a shy smile. “I think y/n did good, actually-” Ivet let out a shout of joy, since that meant you won the first batch of ingredients, before quickly covering her mouth out of embarrassment. “Like Doyoung said, she’s not a member of our group so she wouldn’t know the details. Y/n had the same energy and feel that our members did and I think that’s the most important part.”

“Alright, so with that, the members of NCT have deemed this challenge as a success. Congratulations to y/n for winning the first ingredients, you may all start preparing your dishes.” You smiled over to the four of them, thanking them as you collected your prize.

As you set down the large packages on the counter, Ivet nudges you with her elbow. “Hey, Jaehyun keeps looking over here. Should we give him something? I feel kind of bad since he basically allowed us to win.”  

You looked up and sure enough, Jaehyun was staring right at you. He smiled at you as the two of you made eye contact before shyly turning away and busying himself in conversation with his members on what spices were available and what their best options were. “Should we give them the salmon? We really only need the noodles and we can save the bread to make a small desert.” You proposed to your groupmates.

“Wait, why are we giving them our prize?” Liv questioned as she started opening up the udon noodles.

“I’m just trying to be nice.” You mumbled, grabbing a bowl for the noodles. “I don’t want us to look mean if we just hog everything and let them suffer, you know?”

Liv shook her head, “ugh, fine. Give them the salmon but tell them not to expect any more help from us. This is a competition, y/n.”

You roll your eyes at her before picking up the slab of salmon, telling her “it’s not like we know how to prepare fish anyways” as you leave to hand it over.

As you approach them, Johnny notices you first. “Hey hey hey, no stealing our ideas.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you tell him, “I just came over to give this to you guys since we don’t plan on using it.”

“Thank you-” Doyoung began, only to get cut off by Haechan.

“Don’t accept help from the enemy!” He exclaimed.

You raised an eyebrow at them. “Take it or leave it.”

Haechan opened his mouth to speak but Jaehyun beat him to it. “We’ll take it. Thank you, y/n.” The smile he gave you was so cute, you couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit charmed by him and his dimples.

After a few more challenges, both teams had a pretty even amount of supplies and your groups’ preparations for the soup broth and impromptu chocolate bread pudding desert are underway. As for the opposing team, they had decided on making salmon rolls along with a fruit parfait using the other ingredients they had won.

While you were breaking apart the bread into smaller pieces for the pudding and your members gathered the necessary baking ingredients, Jaehyun stopped by on his way to the pantry area where your members currently were. “Need any help?” His low voice coming from behind you causing you to jump.

“N-no, I’m fine,” you stuttered, trying to calm your now racing pulse though you’re not sure if it was because he scared you or from how close he was to you, “shouldn’t you be helping your own team?”

“Yeah but there’s four of us and three of you, it’s a little unfair to you guys.” He nodded his head over to where Ivet and Liv were arguing about whether to use white or brown sugar.

You scoffed at him. “Excuse me, but we are fully capable of pulling off this win. Thank you for the offer, but no, I do not want your help.” You noticed the slight smile he had on his face as he backed away and you realized that you had stopped tearing apart the bread while you were talking to him.

“Hey! I know your plan,” you called out, “I won’t be distracted by you again so watch it.” He giggled as he returned to his members, your own giving him death stares after hearing your exchange with him.

Not much else happened after the final challenges and as both teams approached the final stages of preparation, you noticed the glances going back and forth between both groups and they observed the activity and progress of the opponent. You caught Jaehyun looking at you a couple times and made faces at him to mock him, which he made back.

“Stop flirting with him, you guys are so obvious oh my gosh.” Ivet muttered.

You let out a gasp of shock. “What do you mean flirting? I am not flirting with him at all.”

“Yes you are,” she rolls her eyes in irritation, “I see all the faces you guys are making at each other and I’m pretty sure the other guys noticed it too.”

“Well then that means you’re distracted too if you’re watching us.” You shot back.

“Oh, just shut up and get back to work.” Liv huffed. “If you’re dating him you can just tell us, you know.”

You froze as you thought of Yuta. “I am not dating Jaehyun.” You said through gritted teeth.

“It sure seems like it thought.” Ivet retorted.

Once time ran out, both teams presented their dishes to the production staff who would be voting on the winner for today. Your team presented first as per Johnny’s request of ‘ladies first’. They seemed to like your dishes so you were fairly confident in your chances of winning.

When the boys came to present their dishes you were honestly shocked at how good the food looked. You had to give credit to Doyoung who took charge of most of it. “Johnny and Haechan worked on the fruit parfait while Jaehyun and I made the salmon rolls from our memory of making it with our member Yuta back when he shared his mother’s techniques with us.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Yuta trying to direct his members around in the kitchen since he rarely ever cooks in the first place. “Why are you smiling like that?” Ivet asks, snapping you out of your imagination. “Are you looking at Jaehyun again?” You reach over and pinch her side, effectively shutting her up.

As the production staff gathers up their votes, both teams are given time to make their closing comments. Liv spoke for your group since she was the oldest out of the three of you. “We had a lot of fun today getting to cook with each other and we would like to thank all the members of NCT and all the staff who worked with us today. It was a pleasure to be able to come on to this show and we hope to be back again soon.”

Haechan stepped forward to speak for his members. “We too enjoyed being on the show today and we would also like to thank our competitors and the staff for taking such good care of us. It was a new experience to get to do something like this and I hope NCT can come on again with and show the talents of the rest of our members.”

“Any other closing comments?” The host asked.

“As a fan of NCT, it was an honor to work with you guys today and I hope we will get to work together again in the future.” Ivet blurted out, making the studio burst out in laughter from how quick she spoke and the way she covered her face again.

“I really enjoyed getting to know y/n, Ivet, and Liv today and I look forward to working with you guys again no matter what it may be.” Jaehyun quickly said, taking the attention off of Ivet.

“I think the staff have counted up their votes and are ready to announce the winner for today.” The host announced, wrapping up the conversation. “And now, the dishes that won the hearts of the staff are…”

You reached to hold the hands of your group mates as the director wrote on a whiteboard. When they flipped it around, you let out a breath of relief as you read the winning dish. “The udon and the bread pudding! Congratulations to Liv, y/n, and Ivet for being the champions of this episode.”

Liv pulled the two of you in for a hug as you all celebrated your victory meanwhile Haechan came to the front and was asking the staff if they’re sure they counted the votes correctly as his older members laughed behind him.

Filming ends and both teams head back to their respective waiting rooms. You stopped by the bathroom first before joining your members but on your way out you ran straight into Jaehyun. “Sorry, I wasn’t being careful.” You apologize, moving out of his way and continuing on your path.

“Oh, it’s okay, and actually, I was looking for you so it’s more than okay. I mean not more than okay but I mean that it’s-”

“Jaehyun, why were you looking for me?” You ask, successfully saving him from his rambling and future embarrassment.

He reaches a hand behind his neck as the other goes inside his back pocket while his eyes flit around nervously. “I, um, I was going to ask you for your number if that’s okay with you.”

Your brain went into overdrive as you thought about your options. You could say no to be safe though it might draw suspicion since everyone saw how the two of you were interacting earlier. Or you could give it to him and tell him to keep things on the low though it makes another opening for someone to find out about you and Yuta.

“Yeah, sure.” You tell him and you watch as he breaks into a smile, his dimples showing once again. The two of you quickly exchanged numbers before heading off to your own members. On the way back to your dorm, you received a message from an unknown number.

Unknown > y/n

5:58pm: hi, this is jaehyun :)

y/n > unknown

5:59pm: hey, it’s y/n

You saw him start typing but you exited his chat to send a message to your boyfriend instead telling him how your day went.

y/n > Yuta

6:00pm: i beat your members just like i said i would ;)

Yuta > y/n

6:00pm: haha congratulations!

6:00pm: I’ll look forward to watching the episode when it comes out

6:00pm: I paused my anime episode just for you, consider yourself blessed

y/n > Yuta

6:01pm: yeah okay, i’m blessed by nakamoto yuta or whatever lol

6:01pm: did you want to call tonight?

Yuta > y/n

6:01pm: no, i got a headache during the shoot so I’m gonna sleep early tonight

6:01pm: tomorrow we can. I don’t think I have anything

y/n > Yuta

6:02pm: awwww, my baby

6:02pm: i hope you feel better soon <3

6:02pm: get some sleep and we can figure it out when you wake up

6:02pm: i love you

Yuta > y/n

6:03pm: don’t call me that

6:03pm: but thank you love you too

Jaehyun had been sending you messages while you were texting Yuta so you finally went back to your chat with him, feeling the excitement of talking to your boyfriend leave you.

Jaehyun > y/n

6:01pm: i just wanted to say that i thought you looked really pretty today

6:01pm: not that you don’t look pretty everyday but you know what I mean

6:02pm: i’m actually a fan of your group so today was really fun for me

6:03pm: did you maybe want to meet up sometime and get lunch?

y/n > Jaehyun

6:04pm: thank you, you’re quite handsome yourself

6:05pm: we’re actually working on a comeback so i don’t really have too much time these days

Jaehyun > y/n

6:06pm: oh? What’s the album like?

y/n > Jaehyun

6:08pm: we’re going for a darker concept this time

Jaehyun > y/n

6:09pm: that sounds fun!

When you didn’t see him typing again, you closed out the app and went to watch an episode of the anime Yuta had recommended to you a while ago. Jaehyun didn’t text you back for the rest of the night.

You went for the next day without texting your boyfriend but since you didn’t have any activities scheduled for the day, you binge watched nearly a whole season of the anime he had recommended to you until he finally texted you in the evening.

Yuta > y/n

7:16pm: i don’t think i can call tonight. I didn’t finish my chinese homework sorry

7:17pm: i want to talk to you so fucking bad though

7:17pm: i really miss seeing you and getting to touch you

y/n > Yuta

7:18pm: wait hold on

7:18pm: how do you go from talking about learning chinese to being all whiny

Yuta > y/n

7:19pm: it’s because

7:20pm: i miss you

7:20pm: and i’m horny

You were glad you were just lying down in bed because you weren’t expecting him to send you a picture of his bulge, the outline of his hard cock obvious in the soccer shorts he was wearing.

y/n > Yuta

7:23pm: you can’t just send that without a warning!

7:23pm: what if i was doing something huh?

7:23pm: are you even wearing underwear??

Yuta > y/n

7:24pm: no heehee

7:24pm: wanna see?

7:24pm: i know the answer is yes ;)

He sent you another picture that looked almost entirely black but when you opened it, you were greeted with the sight of your boyfriend seated at his desk with his legs open and facing towards the mirror by his closet. He had pulled the fabric of one leg of his shorts over his dick, exposing it to you with his free hand wrapped around the middle of it.

y/n > Yuta

7:28pm: what if the answer was no

Yuta > y/n

7:28pm: well you took an awfully long time to respond so i know you like it

y/n > Yuta

7:29pm: shut up or you’re not getting one back

You smiled to yourself as you saw the typing bubble disappear before sitting up and pulling your shirt off. You held your phone up and covered your nipples with your free arm, effectively pushing your breasts up as you bit your lip seductively.

Taking a couple with a variation of angles, poses, and facial expression, you sent the first one and waited for a response. He didn’t respond when you thought he would so you cleared the app and reopened it again realizing that the picture didn’t send so you sent it again.

Yuta > y/n

7:36pm: you’re so fucking hot

7:36pm: i can’t believe i get to call you mine

7:37pm: you’re literally a goddess

7:37pm: fuck can you send another one. I’ll send a voice recording

You sent him the rest of the ones you took and within a minute he sent you another picture of him accompanied by an audio message. Opening the picture first, you noticed how much more red his cock was, the veins more prominent than before. Your mouth watered at the sight of his length and the shine of precum at his tip. He had pulled up his shirt, revealing his abs and navel piercing, his hand tight around the base of his cock.

Making sure your earbuds were connected, you hit play on the voice message. “Y/n, baby, I miss you so fucking much. I wish we were together right now. I’d fuck you so hard that you’d only be able to say my name.” You reached a hand into your underwear as you heard him start moving his hand on his dick.

You inserted two digits in and started fingering yourself to his words. “I miss how warm your pussy is around me. I miss the way you moan when I fuck you just the way you like it. I miss feeling you cum on my cock and the way you take me so well.” Your fingers were in no way close in length or thickness to his cock but you hadn’t gotten off in so long that it wasn’t hard to get yourself worked up.

Yuta’s voice choked up in the recording for a bit and he let out a moan. “I-I miss seeing you so full and dripping with my cum. Fuck, I need to cum so badly.” You pressed your fingers as deep as they could go and you felt your pleasure starting to build.

You opened your camera and recorded yourself with your fingers deep inside of your pussy, you hand getting covered with your juices. “My fingers aren’t anything like your cock. I miss how good you fuck me and how deep your reach inside of me.” You paused as you brought your phone closer to your glistening folds.

“I love the way you make me cum and the way you fill me up so good.” You brought your phone back up, to get your face and naked torso in view. “Cum for me, Yuta.”

You continued fingering yourself to the voice recording he sent until you received a video from him. As soon as you opened it, his hand was already picking up speed on his length. “You miss my cock, baby? You miss cumming on it?” He let out a groan as he played with the tip of his length, his hand becoming slick with his own precum.

“Fuck, I’m so hard right now and it’s all because of you. I can’t wait to fuck you senseless the next time I see you. I-Fuck,” he started rapidly jerking himself off, “I want you to cum for me. I want to fill you up with my cum and watch it drip out of you. Ah fuck-” you watched as he covered himself in his own cum. On his abs, his hand, his thighs, and you felt a surge of arousal as you watched it drip down over his body, making his skin glow.

You dropped your phone in your haste to record yourself cumming for him and when you picked it up, you saw the picture that you sent earlier but not the video and previous messages from Yuta. Looking up at the name at the top of your screen, you broke out into a state of panicking realizing it wasn’t Yuta that you had sent the picture to. It was Jaehyun.

Jaehyun > y/n

7:37pm: damn. I didn’t know you were so sexy

7:38pm: i also didn’t know you were one to send nudes but i’m not one to say anything

y/n > Jaehyun

7:38pm: oh? You don’t seem like it either

Jaehyun > y/n

7:38pm: want proof?

y/n > Jaehyun

7:38pm: sure

You went back into your chat with Yuta, not wanting him to worry about you or question why you were taking so long to respond to him.

y/n > Yuta

7:39pm: fuck i thought i recorded myself cumming for you but i guess i didn’t hit record

7:40pm: i’m sorry :’(

Yuta > y/n

7:40pm: ah, it’s okay, as long as i know you came, I'm satisfied

7:41pm: besides, i have like four more pictures to look at when I feel lonely now

y/n > Yuta

7:41pm: ugh you’re so weird

7:42pm: but i kind of have a headache now so i think i’m gonna go to sleep soon

Yuta > y/n

7:43pm: i’m weird and you like it

7:43pm: go to sleep if you’re not feeling good though. Text me when you wake up

7:43pm: sleep well, i love you <3

y/n > Yuta

7:44pm: thanks, love you too

Checking back in on your chat with Jaehyun, you were surprised to see that he had actually sent you a photo. He was only in his underwear as he stood in front of his mirror in a similar setup to that of your boyfriend’s. He had raised one eyebrow and his tongue poked the inside of his cheek while he grabbed at the outline of his clothed cock.

y/n > Jaehyun

7:46pm: you’re pretty sexy too, i must admit

Jaehyun > y/n

7:46pm: like what you see?

y/n > Jaehyun

7:47pm: hell yeah i do

You felt a sudden rush of anxiety and worried about what Yuta would think if he found out about you and Jaehyun so you muted your notifications from Jaehyun and left your phone to charge as you took a shower.

Ever since that night where you accidentally sent Jaehyun a picture of yourself, the two of you have been texting on the down low. You hadn’t told Yuta because you were afraid of ruining your relationship with him or getting in the way of his relationship with Jaehyun.

Honestly, you just hoped Jaehyun would lose interest in you and find a new girl so you could let this whole thing be put to rest and tell Yuta once you were ready. But for now you entertained Jaehyun because you didn’t want things to be awkward the next time you saw him, especially now that the end of year award shows were approaching and you’d probably run into him somewhere at an event like that.

One of the award shows your group was set to attend was in Tokyo and Yuta had informed you that NCT would also be attending. “You know, since we’ll both be in Japan soon, how about I take you out on a date after the festival ends?” He proposed over another late night call.

“I like the sound of that,” a smile on your face as you spoke, “when are you leaving?”

“I leave the day after tomorrow. How about you?”

“I leave tomorrow so I guess I’ll be getting to the hotel before you.”

“Are you sharing a room with anyone?”

“Yeah, probably. You?”

“No, they gave us our own rooms this time around,” Yuta paused as he giggled, “you know what that means?”

You let out a similar giggle at how cute your boyfriend was. “Sexy time?”

“You know it.” You swore you could see him smirking through the phone. “But I’ll text you my room number once I get there so you can come by and we can plan out a day for me to take you out.”

“Sounds good-”

“Hey Yuta- oh, sorry. Are you talking to someone?” You heard the unmistakable sound of Jaehyun’s voice.

“Uh, yeah,” Yuta started, his voice showing how unsure he was, “just talking to a friend in Japan that I’m thinking of meeting while we’re there.”

Jaehyun let out what sounded like a noise of approval. “Oh, okay. I needed to ask you something but I’ll come back later.” You heard the door close as he left.

“Gosh, that guy,” Yuta breathed out once he was gone, “he’s been acting differently lately. I just don’t know what’s up with him. He’s always on his phone these days.”

You let out a light laugh. “You sound like an old man, Yuta. Though I should get going now in case he comes back.”

“Yes, you’re right. But, don’t forget, Japan, room number, then come over. Okay?”

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you too. Can’t wait to be with you again.”

Currently, you were dressed in sweats and one of Yuta’s shirts, even though you’ve had it for nearly four months now, after a day of just touring the hotel and performance venue as other idols began arriving. You were sure Yuta’s plane landed two hours ago so he should be at the hotel already but he hadn’t texted yet and you had started dozing off which made you worried that you’d fall asleep without seeing him. Just in case he forgot, you decided to send him a message asking what room he’s in.

You felt your phone vibrate after what felt like a minute but when you saw the time, you realized you had fallen asleep for about an hour. Reading the message on the screen, you saw the room number 412 and pulled yourself out of bed, making sure to grab your key card before you left.

When you arrived at room 412, you knocked on the door excitedly knowing that Yuta was waiting on the other side and you were more than ready to tackle him in a hug after not seeing him for nearly three months because of his own group promotions. What you didn’t expect was for Jaehyun to appear instead, shirtless with only a pair of sweatpants on.

You both stared at each other in shock before Jaehyun pulled you in, looking both ways to make sure no one saw the two of you. Once the door was shut he stepped away and asked “so, why exactly did you ask for my room number and come over this late at night?”

“I-uh, hm.” You didn’t know how to get yourself out of this but the way Jaehyun was looking at you told you that you wouldn’t be able to leave until both of you were exhausted.

“I take it that you were tired of just looking at a screen and wanted to experience the real thing in person.” He looked at you with an eyebrow raised. “Because I sure do.”

You saw the opportunity he was giving you and took it. “I like the way you think,” you closed the distance between both of you, “just don’t you dare tell anyone we’re doing this and I won’t either.”

“My lips are sealed,” he promised, giving you a playful smile, “with yours!” His arms wrapped around you as he pulled you in, greeting your lips with a warm kiss. You quickly melted into his kiss, one of your hands coming to rest on his firm chest. “Bed?” You nod and let him lead you to his queen sized bed.

He sits and falls backward on the side of his bed, pulling you to rest over him before kissing you once more. Your hands tangle themselves in his soft hair while his hands make their way to your ass, gripping your cheeks firmly before gently kneading at them. You shift your thigh to rest comfortably between his and that’s when you feel his length, already hot and hard beneath you. “You’re this worked up already?”

“I could see the outline of your nipples through your shirt and I just couldn’t stop my mind, sorry.” His cheeks started turning pink as you gave him an accusatory glare.

You shook your head before sliding a hand down over his chest, stopping at his solid abs. “I’m only forgiving you because you’re cute and sexy, but look at my eyes next time you pervert.”

“Yes ma’am oh-” He gasped when your hand went under the waistband of his sweatpants and started playing with the head of his cock. “Fuck that feels so good.”

You felt him twitch under your grasp and you realized just how large he was. “You’re fucking huge.” Your hand traveled further down his length. “I knew you were big but I didn’t know you were this big.”

“You wanna see it?” He teased though he threw his head back and moaned when you rubbed the tip of his cock.

Satisfied with his reaction, you pulled his sweats down and he lifted his hips to help you, his hard length hitting his chiseled body as he sunk back into the bed. Jaehyun let out a sigh of relief as your hand wrapped around his member and you felt it twitch within your grasp, causing you to meet his eyes with a smile.

You noticed his ears turning a light shade of pink as you sat back on your knees to pull off your own shirt, which you remembered actually belonged to your loving boyfriend, throwing it to the side and nodding at the man in front of you as an invitation from the way his eyes were suddenly glued to your breasts.  

He sat up and pulled you into his lap, attaching his lips to your sensitive buds, alternating between kissing them and gently sucking on them as he teased them with his tongue. Your arm came to rest around his broad shoulders and you rested your cheek against his soft hair. You reached down to tease at the tip of his cock once more, letting out a noise of surprise as Jaehyun lightly bit into the skin of your breast. “What was that for?”

“It’s sensitive, you know.” He looked up at you, his hair falling into his eyes as he left kisses up your chest and neck while cupping and kneading at your breasts.

Brushing his hair away from his face, you told him “yes I do know, but I can’t do much else when you’ve got me stuck like this.”

His lips pulled away from your breast with a pop and he slid down beneath you so that he was laying down once again, his aching length practically begging for attention. “Here, ride me then.”

Giving him a devilish smile, you leaned off to the side to slide your own sweats and underwear off before seating yourself mere inches above his warm pulsing cock, lining it up with your entrance and slowly sinking down on it. You nearly got goosebumps from the way he filled you, the stretch stinging in the most pleasurable way.

You let out a moan as you fell forward, your hands landing upon his firm chest, bracing you as you began slowly moving on his length. Jaehyun groaned as you rose up to the point where only the head of his member was inside of you before lowering yourself back down, sheathing his cock in your warmth.

His hands found their way to your hips and he helped to guide your movements as you began to speed up, enjoying the way his length seemed to hit all the right spots. You threw your head back as Jaehyun began meeting your movements, his hips thrusting up from below you, pushing himself even deeper into your core.

Even when it was reaching the edge of being too much, causing you to stop your motions, he continued rocking his hips into you and went even harder when he noticed your still frame above him with your eyes shut in pleasure. “Babygirl enjoying my cock that much?”

“Shut up and just fuck me, Jaehyun.” Had your eyes been open, you would’ve seen the shit-eating grin that appeared on his face before he caged you in his arms and flipped the two of you over, his length never once leaving your warm walls.

You gasped as your back fell onto the bed, your legs unintentionally wrapping around his waist, bringing him even closer to you and burying his cock even deeper inside of you. Jaehyun braced himself on his forearms as he began thrusting into you, his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his breath tickling your shoulder with every exhale.

The new position allowed him to adjust the speed to his liking, which was considerably faster than before, leaving you a moaning mess with one hand gripping onto his bicep and the other on his abs. The room was filled with the sounds of skin against skin and his lips on yours, the latter effectively muting the noises that either of you made.

When Jaehyun thrusted particularly hard, you accidentally bit into his plump bottom lip, causing him to let out a grunt before he pulled away and slowed down his movements. “You good?”

“Yeah, sorry, didn’t mean to bite you.” You apologized, your eyes falling from his face down to where his member was still dipping inside of you.

“Guess we’re even then.” He remarked playfully as he grabbed your calves from around his waist and brought them to rest upon his shoulder.

You breathed out a single “fuck” from the way the new angle allowed him to hit different spots in you. You were just about nearing your orgasm and could tell Jaehyun was too from the way you could feel his length twitching within your walls when your phone suddenly rang.

Jaehyun paused as you reached over to grab your phone from the nightstand, only gently pushing into you as you read the caller ID. “Who is it?” He asked, a slight smile appearing on his face.

“My, -uh, roommate,” you tell him, instead of reading Yuta’s name that was currently lighting up the screen, still fighting to keep your volume down as he continues rolling his hips into you.

“Answer it.”

“What? No way.”

“Go ahead, answer it.”

You shoot him a look and he pulls out nearly all the way with an eyebrow raised at you, threatening to answer the call. Huffing out of indignance, you accept the call and raise the phone to your ear after making sure the volume was as low as possible.

“He-hello?”

You hear Yuta’s voice over the line as Jaehyun starts to slowly rut into you once more. “Where are you?”

“I’m with my manager right now-” you nearly moan from Jaehyun purposely thrusting long and hard into you, but cover it by clearing your throat, “talking about the schedule for tomorrow.” Your voice raised at the end as Jaehyun delivered another powerful stroke.

“Are you okay?” Yuta questioned upon hearing your intonation.

“Yeah, um, I’m just not feeling all that good from the uh, fuck-” you glared at Jaehyun and placed a hand on his pelvis to soften his movements, “the traveling and activity.”

Yuta hummed in understanding and you felt bad for lying to him like this. “We can figure out another time to meet up and plan our date. You should go to sleep and get some rest, I don’t want you getting any worse.”

“Okay, I will. Thank you-” you pull the phone away from you as Jaehyun starts to speed up again and you cover your mouth with your free hand, letting out a muffled groan.

You brought the phone back to your ear to hear the tail end of Yuta’s “I love you” before telling him the same and quickly hanging up.

“You tell your groupmates ‘I love you?’” Jaehyun asked, not even bothering to slow down.

“Yes, and you don’t?” He rolled his eyes at you, only leaning down further, making his cock brush against your most sensitive areas. “Fuck, right there!”

Your walls flutter around his length as he begins mercilessly pounding into you, seeking his own release while you bring a hand down to rub at your clit, sending yourself into an orgasm. The spasming and clenching of your walls around his cock eventually pushes Jaehyun to his end as well though he quickly pulls out and cums onto your stomach instead, the warm strings of white coating your skin.

He lets out a string of groans and curses as he continues jerking himself until the last drops of cum are dripping from the tip of his length. He reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing a tissue and hastily cleaning off both of you before he collapses into the bed next to you.

“I’m gonna go wash up in the bathroom.” You inform him, sliding out of bed as he pulls the covers over his large frame.

“Mmm, alright, don’t take too long.” You could tell he was already getting drowsy from the way he drew out his words.

You picked up your clothes from the floor and took a quick shower in the bathroom but by the time you came back out, you knew Jaehyun was knocked out from the way you could hear his faint snores. Checking your phone on the nightstand, you saw two messages from Yuta and you knew you couldn’t keep this going any longer.

Yuta > y/n

11:43pm: text me how you’re feeling when you wake up

11:43pm: I can go run and get stuff for you at a convenience store before rehearsals

As much as you enjoyed the mindblowing sex that Jaehyun gave you, you knew that your heart laid with Yuta. You picked up the pen and notepad resting on the desk in the corner of the room, writing Jaehyun a note before quietly leaving the room.

Jaehyun, Thanks for everything but I can’t continue our relationship like this. I feel that we are best off as friends and I hope you can understand and respect my wishes. I’m sorry. -y/n

You made sure to text Yuta that you were feeling fine, still just a little bit tired but you weren’t sick, much to his relief. During stage rehearsals later that day, your group just so happened to pass by him and his members as they waited for their turn.

Yuta’s hand brushed against yours and you quickly apologized, matching the smile on his face as the two of you finally saw each other in person for the first time in months. You continued past the other members in an elated state, not even realizing the way Jaehyun had been staring at you.

“Did you see how Jaehyun was staring at you?” Ivet questioned, excitement written all over her face. “What if he has a crush on you, oh my gosh-”

“Yeah, did you guys ever talk to each other again after the show?” Liv added.

You shook your head, making a face of disgust. “Him? He’s not my type. We talked and I got his number but nothing happened.”

“You got his-” You covered Ivet’s mouth with your hand, noticing the way people around you were starting to look at you and your group as you all headed back to the waiting rooms.

You were glad that your members quickly dropped the topic once back in the waiting room, opting to play games on their phone or someone’s Switch instead while biding time as your managers came to pick you guys up. You decided to leave Yuta a message to make yourself feel better though you made sure that you were texting the right person this time.

y/n > Yuta

3:27pm: what’s your room number? Sorry I forgot to ask last night

3:27pm: I’ll be over once you guys are done

You didn’t expect him to respond for a while, especially since he just went on and you knew he had to stay later that day to record interviews and other content in Japanese. Time couldn’t go by any slower as you laid in bed and switched through apps, waiting for Yuta to be done with rehearsals. Your excitement couldn’t be hidden when you finally received his message later in the evening.

Yuta > y/n

8:32pm: just got back. 417 i left the door slightly open

y/n > Yuta

8:33pm: coming

8:33pm: that’s dangerous you know. Someone can just walk in

Yuta > y/n

8:34pm: then you better hurry ;)

It felt as if you were a little kid again, the way you could barely control your pace as you walked throughout the hotel, your body itching to sprint through the halls to get to your boyfriend sooner. When you quietly entered his room, you saw him standing by his bed with his back towards the wall, probably organizing his backpack out of boredom.

Rushing up behind him once you were close enough, you wrapped your arms around his waist and began tickling him, causing him to erupt in his infectious laughter as he squirmed around in your arms. He eventually freed himself, only to turn around and come right back into your arms. “My love, I’ve missed you so much. I can’t believe you’re actually in my arms right now.”

You allowed yourself to sink into his hold and inhale the scent of him that you missed having on all of the shirts you’ve stolen from him. “Can we just lie down together and go to sleep instead?”

“I wish, but you know we can’t,” he sighed, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t cuddle for now.” Yuta pushed you onto the bed, jumping on after you and rolling around with you in his arms. Once the two of you were comfortably tangled with the other, Yuta began pulling up places to go, showing you pictures and talking about things to do there.

“So at Harajuku there’s tons of clothing stores and really good food vendors too. There’s even some cat cafes we could go to and then-”

“Okay, I get it, we’re going to Harajuku, calm down.” You laughed, seeing how excited he became. True to your boyfriend’s nature, he quickly gave up trying to plan out a whole day of activities and choosing to simply make a list of places to go like Yoyogi Park, or the Yayoi Kusama Museum, and the previously agreed upon Harajuku.

After compiling the list, you were calculating how much time you had left before your roommate would question your whereabouts when Yuta suddenly turned to you. “So tomorrow, some of the members were thinking of going out to get lunch and I was thinking that maybe I could bring you along…” His voice trailed off as he looked at you for your opinion.

“You want to introduce me to your members?” Your eyes were wide at the thought of having to talk to Taeyong, who you absolutely looked up to or Johnny, who just scared you from his appearance alone. But most of all, Jaehyun.

Yuta nodded his head, his earrings making the faintest jingling sounds. “Not all of them will be there but I think we’ve been together long enough, right? It’s like meeting your in-laws kind of.” You weren’t too keen on the idea of seeing Jaehyun so soon, especially after what happened earlier today with him but you agreed anyway, not wanting to let Yuta down.

All throughout the morning, you were filled with anxiety as you thought about going to lunch with Yuta and his members but you followed through regardless because if Yuta was ready to make this next step in your relationship then you should take it with him. You met him in his room and went down to the parking garage with him, only reaching out for his hand once you were sure there was no one else around.

As you approached his members, Yuta called out to them. “Guys, this is y/n,” you suddenly felt nervous at the way all three men turned to look at you, “I’ve been dating her for about a year now and I felt that this would be the right time to finally introduce her.”

The end of Yuta’s sentence was cut off as Jaehyun suddenly began coughing and pulled out his phone, looking anywhere but at you though you didn’t have much time to dwell on it. “Hi y/n, I’m Taeyong, nice to meet you,“ you and Taeyong both laughed from his cheery attitude as you shook his hand, “I hope Yuta has been treating you well though I’m sure you wouldn’t have stayed with him for so long if he didn’t.”

“She actually idolizes you,” Yuta quickly interjected with a chuckle, “she probably wants to date you more than she wants to date me.”

You looked at him in disbelief though you were torn out of it by Haechan who commented, “we all do, she’s not special.”

“Hey, behave,” your boyfriend scolded, “that’s Haechan, the idiot,” Haechan was about to open his mouth to complain but was stopped by Yuta’s finger on his lips as he shushed him, “and over there is Jaehyun.” He looked up and gave a quick wave with an expressionless face before staring back at his phone.

Once you were all seated at the restaurant and waiting for the food, Taeyong began asking more about you and your relationship with Yuta who was currently sandwiched in between the two of you. “So how did the two of you actually meet?”

“She came up to me-”

“He told me that he-”

You both turned to each other with the same scowl adorning your faces. Placing a hand on his thigh you raised an eyebrow at him. He did the same to you before giving in. “Alright fine, I went up to her first because I thought she was cute,” Yuta explained, “remember that one episode on Music Bank or something when I said the girl in the green dress was cute? That was her.”

Taeyong and Haechan both seemed to have a moment of realization meanwhile Jaehyun was busy staring daggers into Yuta’s hand on your thigh. You could see him out of the corner of your eyes because he was seated right in front of you though you pretend as if you didn’t.

“What’s Yuta like as a boyfriend?” Haechan asked, a mischievous look on his face.

Yuta turned to you, his signature Chesire cat grin appearing. “I couldn’t ask for anyone better than him,” you state simply while maintaining eye contact with him, “he always does his best to take care of me even when you guys are really busy and he gives some of the best advice whenever I need help with something work-related. I genuinely feel that I want to be with him for as long as possible.”

“Yikes, get a room,” Haechan joked after seeing the way you smiled at his fellow member while talking about him.

“Jaehyun, are you okay?” Taeyong looked over at the said member with worry. You did as well and the look he gave you could only be described as one of pain. He nodded his head and flashed a quick smile at everyone else before his gaze lingered back on you and then back to his phone.

Only when Yuta was wrapped up in conversation with the other two did you nudge Jaehyun’s foot across from you. He did not react so you did it again and he looked up at you with the same emotionless stare. You didn’t even get the chance to do anything because at that moment, the food for your table arrived. Everyone lets out remarks at how good the food looks and you begin eating after warning your boyfriend not to inhale his food, much to Taeyong and Haechan’s amusement.

Later on, Taeyong brings up something about their performance, bringing Haechan and Jaehyun into the conversation but Yuta leans over and whispers, “I know about you and Jaehyun,” you momentarily freeze though you give him a look of confusion, “I’m not stupid, you know. I know you two were talking.”

You all but choked on the mouthful of noodles you were chewing but you brushed it off as Yuta telling you a funny joke. The others ask to hear it too and you were glad Yuta was a quick thinker and was able to make one up on the spot. You were surprised that Yuta claimed he knew about your relationship with Jaehyun but didn’t seem to be upset. It was honestly scaring you at this point.

Once the bill was paid and the group of you were in the car heading back to the hotel, Yuta starts up the conversation again as you were both in the back row of the van. “I wouldn’t have minded if you wanted to have fun with Jaehyun for a bit, you could have just told me.”

“Okay, how much do you actually know?”

“I know that you were in his room getting the sense fucked out of you when you should have been with me, if that’s what you’re asking about,” you felt yourself go into a state of panic though really, you were just confused about this whole thing, “you know, I wouldn’t mind including him in our relationship sexually. You just had to ask.”

Your eyes go wide at his words, unsure if this was all really happening or if it was just a dream. “Are you actually being serious right now?”

Yuta shrugged his shoulders and giggled, “I don’t know. Am I?”

[jinkicake]

Libero Things!!

Bokuto, Kuroo, Sakusa practicing with their libero s/o.

Bokuto Koutarou x Reader

Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader

For Anon, I hope you like this!! I love writing for these three, I’m not really sure why, maybe it’s because their personalities are so fun and different! Hopefully this makes sense, I don’t really know volleyball terms but I have an idea of each of the positions!!! 

WC- 1,673

~~~

Bokuto Koutarou 

Omg please Bokuto would be so excited, bouncing up and down as he drags you into the gym

Even though he knows how short you are and what position you play, this mf is still going to beg you to block for him

“Please baby, please! Block for me!” And you’re standing there like Bokuto…. I can’t even reach the top of the net, how do you expect me to-

You two will find a happy medium where he spikes the ball and you receive it, that way he always gets the ball back to him 

Every time you make contact with the ball, expect praise from Bokuto like this man will shower you in compliments

“Babe, you’re the coolest libero ever!” “Are you sure you aren’t a secret ace, (Y/N)?”

Bokuto will sometimes show you his little tips and tricks he has learned over the years and when you applaud him he will literally stand all proud like he just won the Olympics 

He loooooves when you compliment his skills and praise him, he’s such a cutie 

Most times after your little practices Bokuto will take you out to get food like a little lunch date because he wants to treat his baby~

Bokuto will brag about you to everyone and say that if you were on their team then they would be unstoppable!!

“Was that too hard?” Bokuto asks, concern filling his voice and you give him a soft smile. Despite the sting your forearms are facing, it wasn’t that bad, you’re used to powerful balls like that.

“Don’t worry, Kou, I’m fine.” You reassure him and Bokuto instantly perks up again, his hair bouncing with excitement. 

“You’re the best, babe! Get ready for this one!” He sucks in a breath of air before tossing the ball up, setting it up for himself so he can smack it onto the other side of the court. You quickly move a few feet and fall back onto your butt at the impact, you still got the ball back up into the air and onto Bokuto’s side. Bokuto looks so impressed that he doesn’t even notice the ball falling above him, it drops on his head with a slight pop. Almost as if it didn’t happen, your boyfriend runs under the net and over to you. He pretty much tackles you to the ground and you try not to wince under his weight. 

“Are you okay?” Bokuto asks as he towers above you with his hands planted on either side of your head. You give him a comforting smile and reach up to push his slightly sweaty hair from his face. 

“Again, I’m fine Kou, you don’t have to worry.” Bokuto pouts at your words and you sit up to peck his lips, giving him a gentle kiss. “You need to get a headband, can you even see when your hair falls over your eyes like this?” You push the strands off his forehead, whenever his hair gets wet it falls onto his face.

“I don’t need a headband.” Bokuto grumbles and you place your hands on his thighs as he straddles you. 

“Mmm, okay,” Your tone is full of disbelief and Bokuto leans forward to bring his mouth to yours.

“I don’t! I’ll prove it!”

“How is you kissing me going to prove anything-“

Kuroo Tetsurou

Kuroo loves to see you in spandex so he will always invite you to practice with him

Please, his eyes never leave your ass and he stares so boldly and confidently

If you wear sweatpants to practice he will physically deflate like he will try not to look bothered but deep down he’s hurt that he doesn’t get to ogle his prize~

He is verrrryyy teasing,,, hehe he will purposely do stuff to make practice with him even harder just so he can watch you struggle

You want a ball? Okay, get it out of his hands that he’s holding above his head. He demands a kiss for anything you want 

Kuroo will idly chat with you while you two are playing like if you’re asking him to throw you balls to receive he will toss them at full speed while talking shit about anything

“He’s literally the shrewed type,” *throws two balls at you one after another* “like I would ever lose to a guy like that.” *cue you on the floor like Lev after the summer training camp*

There always comes a point in your little joint practice where Kuroo can no longer keep his hands to himself and ends up grabbing a handful of your ass

Yeah, practice usually ends after that because you ignore him to work on your own skills

Kuroo always makes it up to you though, he treats you to desert afterward </3 so he can fuck you on a full stomach

Kuroo’s frown quickly turns into a smile when you turn around to face him. The second you go back to stretching the pout returns to his face and he glares at the thick material covering your legs. It will ultimately be his downfall. 

“Are you going to stretch?” You call playfully and Kuroo moves to sit behind you, his long arms wrap around your waist as you continue to lean forward in your straddle stretch. “You’re going to get a cramp, kitten.” You scold and Kuroo leans more of his weight against your back as he cuddles into you. 

You refrain from rolling your eyes as you continue to reach for your toes. After a few minutes and a few more positions, you try to break out of Kuroo’s grip. It’s like he has an iron hold on you, you find it nearly impossible to get out of his arms. 

“Alright, get up,” You gently pat at his arms and Kuroo squeezes you in his arms. After much internal debate, he reluctantly lets go of you and you stand up before walking over to the bench. Kuroo stares at his shoes as he reties them and out of the corner of his eye, he catches you bending over. His stomach drops when he realizes you’re slipping your sweatpants off and revealing to him his favorite pair of spandex on your bottom. 

You glance back at Kuroo and send him a wink, appreciating how shocked he looks for a moment before his face falls back to his normal taunting glare. 

“Too bad we can’t play together since you didn’t stretch,” You sigh mockingly and walk up to the net, dragging the cart of volleyballs behind you.

“I don’t need a warm-up, baby, I can work just fine without one.” Kuroo retorts suggestively and you shrug as he ends up right by your side.

Guess who gets a cramp ten minutes later.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Sakusa would be really pleased that you want to play volleyball with him, he would really admire your skills

Would Sakusa tell you this though, no! But, you can see the smile in his eyes~ 

Practice with him is usually serious and quiet unless you like to talk then Sakusa will let you talk all you want!!

He gives his own little noises to show that he is actively listening 

The two of you clean all the equipment before and after practice, not that you mind though because now you know everything is squeaky clean! And because you get to spend more time with Sakusa

Sakusa watches you a lot when you practice, it might not look like it because he is so focused on honing his skills but…. His eyes rarely leave your body

Whenever you do something that he likes, he smiles and if you catch him doing this, the tips of his ears will turn red and he will stare at the ceiling instead of you 

Sometimes he will ask you how his form looks or if you think he could do something better,,, he does it to engage in a conversation with you, not that he thinks he needs to change anything different 

Sakusa is ready with water for you and is prepared to throw you a towel or anything you need whenever you guys take breaks

After practice you two always have another session in the shower,,,, I’ll let your mind wander with that~

“Should I arch my back more into the spike?” Sakusa asks and stares at you with curious eyes. “I noticed how Wakatoshi does it and it really makes for a powerful hit.” You stare down at the ball in your hands and think to yourself in your head, Sakusa wants advice from you?

“I think your form is already really good Omi, don’t compare yourself to other people.” You tell him and spin the ball on your fingers. “You’re the best ace there is, the best ace in the country!” 

Sakusa stumbles a little bit over your praise, he wasn’t expecting that answer from you. He continues to watch as you work on your own individual skills and he feels like he can’t take his eyes off of you. 

“Can you toss to me? I want to see if I can still receive as well as I used to!” You bend down to get under the net and Sakusa mentally slaps himself for where his eyes snap to. He nods to your question and grabs a couple of balls to give you. Your boyfriend watches in amazement how you get every ball he throws you, even the ones he purposely makes hard. 

After a handful, he stops and you stare at him in confusion, Sakusa walks over to the bench and hands you a bottle of water.

“Here, you need to stay hydrated.” He tells you and you nod before grabbing the drink, eager to quench your thirst.

“Aren’t you so caring~” You tease and Sakusa tilts his head, watching you carefully.

“Yes.” You can’t help but laugh at his response and you playfully blow him a kiss, knowing he probably doesn’t want your touch right now.

How wrong you are.

“Let’s end for the day.” Sakusa grabs your wrist and leads you to the locker room. 

“Kiyoomi? It’s only been thirty minutes?!”

~

Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah  @littleshopoflove @osamuonigiri @pearzuko @darksxder @macaronnv @nerdygremlin @buzzybeebee @miyaxs @badboysdoitbetter2 @blossoms-nursery

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Hi, I love your writing. I really want to make a request where the readers have eating disorder but works in the modeling industries. She is like dating Gerard, but they were in a super big fight because of her eating disorder, as well as her constant traveling for fashion weeks, and at the end, they make up, and Gerard is helping her getting better, and stuff like that. I really love your writing, can you please write one? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

Title: Poisons A/N: I actually got two requests for something like these. The endings for both requests were slightly different, but here’s the first one. I didn’t really edit it, just because I haven’t updated much content in forever, but here you go! Pairing: Gerard Way (probably late Black Parade era) x Model!F!Reader Word count: 3,170 Warnings: Eating disorder, swearing, angst, drama, there’s just a lot.

Okay, so this was not what Gerard expected to come home to.

The man expected to go back to his New York apartment, shared with his gorgeous girlfriend, and for everything to be perfect. Well maybe not perfect, but perfect in Gerard’s mind.

He wanted nothing more than to just eat some chips, not having eaten in 16 hours due to his flight and partial distaste to airplane food, and curl up with his girlfriend, hugging every inch of her curves.

Instead he came home to a house that was nearly empty of any food, only a few protein shakes resided in the large fridge. This was already a huge warning sign Gerard looked out for. His mind attempted to justify itself, thinking that maybe he was jumping to the worst of the worst conclusions. No, you were probably just traveling so much that you weren’t at home enough to actually buy food.

He sighed, moving to one of the cabinets he knew the take out menus were hidden in. Opening it up, he picked up one of the cheap paper menus covered in dust, shaking it with his hand to get it off. Great, these hadn’t been touched in months.

After debating mentally between Chinese and Italian, he moved to your bedroom, in hopes to finally see the love of his life after months of being absent on tour. There you were, peacefully sleeping in bed. Jetlag, he knew.

He carefully removed his shoes, moving to his closet to change his airplane clothes to more comfortable ones. Climbing into the warm bed beside you, he placed his hands on your hips as he always had. His initial smile soon turned into a frown.

Even under the large hoodie you were wearing he could feel the painful outlines of your ribs. Grimacing to himself, he heard a small sigh fall from your lips. “Gee?” You coarsely called out.

“Mhm,” He hummed back, kissing the top of your head despite the pure disappointment towards you that coarse through his veins.

“What’re you doing? Weren’t you supposed to be gone for another week?” You asked again, still half asleep.

“The guys and I decided to cancel the last week where we were just supposed to travel, I missed you too much.” He smiled lightly, moving your hair to the side to kiss your neck.

“Mmm,” You hummed quietly, your consciousness growing back. Within seconds realization hit you, your eyes internally going wide, not wanting to show anything to Gerard, and you pulled away from him slightly.

“Babe,” He sighed, “We’re not doing this again.” “Doing what again?” You tried to pretend to not understand what he was saying.

“You’re a gorgeous, talented model,” He began with a soft smile, “But don’t go into acting, you’re not good at it.” “Gee, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You fired back.

“Take off your hoodie,” He insisted, “Now.” “Gerard, what the fuck?” You scoffed, “Take off my hoodie?” “You heard me,” He stated, “Take it off.” “Why would I take it off?” You scrowled.

“So I can confirm that you haven’t been eating like you’re supposed to.”

“Gerard, please-” You begged, now falling off your pedestal of lies. He sighed heavily, rolling his eyes.

“Why haven’t you?” He asked, looking at you, “What has caused you not to eat again? I thought we were over this.”

“I don’t think that’s your problem.” You snapped. You rarely if ever did so, but this was only further confirmation that you hadn’t eaten in a couple of days. You were cranky.

“Damn right it is my problem.” He sat up next to you, his face had gone completely serious. There were traces of anger in his eyes, his pulsing veins along his muscular arms told you all you needed to know. He wasn’t only infuriated with your habit, he was disappointed.

A word you hated. You absolutely hated. The way it sounded, the meaning, how it made you feel. “Please,” You begged him, your once bright eyes gray from the torture you had put yourself through. “Please what?” He asked, his tone still somewhat harsh.

“Just don’t be mad.” You pleaded. You could see his eyes scan over your face, looking for any signs that you were lying. He found none.

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to clear his head he nodded lightly. “Alright,” He said barely letting out a breath, “But you need to tell me everything.”

And you did. Most of it at least. You explained how your insecurities resettled themselves in your mind, starting the moment he left for Tour. You talked about how you were getting more gigs and all due to your tinier size. You explained how skin and bones was basically the new trend.

He sat and listened to you. And he believed it, because he knew it was true. But naturally, he also was a human lie detector. Especially with you.

“Okay,” He began, “And what else?” So maybe that one small part your left out was something that you really didn’t want to admit. Gerard had this strong distaste for most of your model “friends”, ya know, the ones who are naturally tiny and eat salads 24/7, never genuinely enjoying a single meal. The one’s who flashed their designer shit everywhere they went, who posted bikini photos every other day and managed to somehow photoshop themselves into complete Barbie dolls. It made Gerard’s blood boil, he never liked you hanging out with them. Because are them you were not Y/N, you couldn’t be. And that made you even more secure.

“There’s nothing else.” You lied. He looked you in the eyes, waiting another moment.

“I’m gonna give you one more chance to tell me the truth,” He sighed, “What else?” “I said nothing.” Your tone was adamant. He rolled his eyes in disbelief.

“You lied to me,” He began, “You just fucking lied to me. We’ve been over this how many times?” “I didn’t fucking lie to you,” You stuck up for yourself, moving further away from him.

“Another lie, damn Y/N.” He sighed, “We’ve been dating for three years, and you still can’t trust me.” “I do trust you, Gerard.” “Then why are you lying to me?” He asked, his tone going to a much harsher pitch.

“Ya know what?” You said, grabbing your pillow violently, getting up from the bed, Gerard looking at you with no emotion. “Fuck you.” You stated.

“Are you seriously gonna leave?” He asked, rolling his eyes, “Immature.” “No, I’m going to the fucking couch where I don’t have to sleep next to a complete dick.” You fired back, going into your closet and grabbing a spare blanket. “You didn’t mean that.” He scoffed.

“Then why the fuck did I say it?” You marched out of the bedroom, flipping him off to which you heard a sarcastic laugh.

This was far from how you had planned his return. You were gonna stock the fridge and pantry, ya know, not give him a chance to think you weren’t eating, and probably have dinner made. You would eat a small portion, making the excuse you had a big lunch with your friends, and bam! Everything would be okay.

But naturally, shit didn’t work out and after numerous insults thrown at each other you found yourself on the couch silently sobbing. You and Gerard had never gone that far, ever. This fight was beyond messy, it was a complete dumpster fire.

You wanted no more than to apologize to him, but you also wanted an apology from him. You should’ve told him everything, that was on you. But he pushed your buttons and he knew what he was doing. It only took 15 minutes, before you heard his soft footsteps coming from the bedroom, and his warm arms wrapping around you, to which his shoulder became one to cry on. His slow and soft coos calming you down, as he began apologizing over and over again, clearly more mad at himself at this point. “Sugar, I’m so so sorry,” He apologized, “I was just really upset.” “I know,” You sniffled, “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have called you a dick.” You looked up at him. “Well, I was kinda being one.” He lightly smiled, to which you giggled in his chest. “Just promise me, you’ll start eating again.” “Gee-” You were about to make an excuse when you were interrupted.

“Babe, you have to.” He began, “Remember what your manager said last time?” You sighed, remembering. Yep, they would place you right in a psych ward. “So here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re not gonna tell anyone, but I need you to start eating, okay? We’ll go gradually, start small and build up. Together, okay?” You nodded, placing you head on his shoulder.

“I love you,” You smiled, looking up at him. “I love you too.” He smiled right back down.

-Six months later-

"Gee, that’s too much salt!” You scolded as he put a tablespoon of salt not a teaspoon into the cookie dough you were making.

“Oops.” He looked down to which you smiled lightly. You took a chunk of it placing it into your mouth, and he did the same. You couldn’t help but gag at how much salt was in it. “Salty.” He admitted, and you lightly nudged him.

“Yeah, ya dork.” You smiled. “That’s what happens when you add too much salt.” He lightly laughed, wrapping his hands around your waist from behind and placing his head on your shoulder.

“So what’re we gonna do to fix it.” “Nothing,” You said, “We could like, triple the batch, but that would be way too much.”

“Don’t forget we’re seeing the guys tonight,” He smiled, “They’re gonna eat this shit up.” You sighed, nodding.

“Maybe it isn’t such a bad idea after all.” The two of you spent the next half hour adding more of every ingredient, thankful that your apartment was stocked with food to use.

Carefully, you placed as many trays as you could into the oven, closing it and setting the timer. Giving Gerard a quick peck on the lips, he went off to review some emails as you checked your phone. Of course, the group chat was buzzing.

You sighed as you open the text chain reluctantly, scrolling through only to see your name pop up numerous times. “Y/N, where have you been?” “Yeah, fr, we have been out to lunch with you in forever.” “Why are you ignoring us?” “Really? Now you’re being a fake friend.” “Guys, I’m okay.” You simply responded, “Just really busy.”

“Uh huh, you’ve been doing boutique stuff for months.” “Literally nothing even big.” “Not since that Prada show.” “It’s Gerard, isn’t it.”

And just like that, you were about to light these girls up. Gerard was the only one willing, and quite frankly able, to get you out of the huge hole you had dug yourself into. And damn, now these bitches (I hate misogynistic terms against women, but I think it may fit here) were really gonna act like the good guys. “Don’t bring Gerard into this.” You simply responded. “It has to be him.” “He’s not even worth it.” “You could have any guy in the world, and you chose him.” “He’s way out of your league, and you’re still on your knees for him. Smh.” You knew damn well they were trying to get to you. None of these girls had had any true romance, only summer flings with football players, actors, and singers. Granted, Gerard was a singer, but he made good music. He was an artist at his core, singing was just apart of that art. It didn’t take you more than a moment to remove yourself from the group chat, and block all those girls. The real fake friends. The timer went off, which startled you a bit, but placing your phone down with a heavy sigh, you turned it off, to check out the cookies. The top row was done, which you were going to take out. Naturally, the tsunami of inappropriate texts from who you would once call your “girlfriends” was still flooded in your mind, and like a complete idiot, you reached in, touching and grabbing the sheet. With you bare hands.

“Shit!” You yelped, dropping the pan on the open oven and rushing to put your hand under cold water.

“Y/N?” You heard Gerard rush in. You looked up at him, and judging your hand under water, and the cookie sheet which had clearly gone through it, he took a slight sigh, first going to examine your hand. “You alright?” You nodded despite the tears forming in your eyes.

It wasn’t even the burn that hurt. It was the fact that you knew you let those girls get to you so easily, and the just embarrassed yourself in front of Gerard. You knew he didn’t find it embarrassing at all, it was an honest mistake. But still, it embarrassed the shit out of you. “Baby,” He cooed, moving your head up with his fingers under your chin to see the tears that were now slowly cascading down your red cheeks, “It’s okay.” He said lightly. You nodded, placing your head into his chest and sniffling a bit. “What happened.” “I was just distracted,” You admitted, “Forgot the oven mitt.” He nodded, holding you for a moment longer before he knew you were okay, and going to pick up the mess. “Gee, I can clean it up, I made it-” “No, no, please, just worry about your hand, okay, sugar?” You nodded, attending back to it.

The bright red mark across your hand didn’t want to budge, which you were fine with, considering it didn’t hurt as much, just stung a bit. He managed to clean up all the cookies pretty fast, putting them on the stove top to cool, and quickly going back to you. Giving you a kiss on the top of your head, it was his way of messaging he didn’t want to push the topic. But if you wanted to talk he’d be there to listen. It wasn’t but a few hours later that the guys came over. The mistake from earlier was long forgotten, other than the mark on your hand.

The guys were honestly some of your best friends, just like they were Gerard’s. They truly cared about you, just as much if not more than you cared about them. All of them knew about your struggles, and they were honestly your number one cheerleaders.

So the looks on their faces when they saw you healthy again was one that you could not pay for. It was definitely a lot of pride in you for doing it, and it made you feel even better about your decision to get healthy again.

Honestly, you loved the relaxes atmosphere of just hanging out. Sitting next to Gerard with some water, as he drank a Diet Coke, and some of the guys had beers, some opted otherwise. You could theoretically drink as well, but you didn’t want your boyfriend to ever feel alone or strange not drinking alcohol, considering his rough past with it. So you typically opted for a non alcoholic beverage.

It wasn’t until after the guys were gone and you were in the shower that Gerard figured out what was wrong. Your phone kept buzzing, going off constantly. He had never once checked your phone without your permission. There was a huge element of trust in your relationship, and he never felt that there was a reason to. He knew your passcode, you two had openly shared each others in the case one of you needed to use the others phone, but when he picked up yours and saw all those girls name pop up he scoffed.

He knew he probably shouldn’t have done it, but he opened your phone, scrolling through the messages. Some of them you had yet to block, and they were obnoxious. He went into the group chat where the messages were flooding, reading from the beginning of the day until now.

Pissed was an absolute understatement. If it wasn’t for the sound of the shower you were in keeping him aware of his surrounding, he probably would have smashed your phone. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he placed it face down on the counter right where it was, resorting back to your bedroom in some hope of calming down before you got out, not making anything too obvious.

Everything was fine, completely normal. The two of you laying in bed together, doing your typical night time routine of reading a bit, maybe watching something, it really depended. You could feel how tense Gerard was, even by your head just leaning on his shoulder. His muscles flexed together, twisted into tight knots. You weren’t sure what had him so stressed, there wasn’t a need for him to be, right? “Babe?” You asked, to which he quietly hummed, “Are you alright?” You had caught on quickly, like you always had. And now he had cursed himself for looking at those messages. Transparency, he remembered, transparency.

“Honestly,” He sighed putting his book down, “I- I- I saw those messages.” He stumbled on his own words. You gave him a confused look, “The ones the girls sent.” You let out a sigh. Oh shit, he thought, thinking the worst of the worst. “Please don’t listen to them,” You insisted, “You know you’re not the reason for any problem in my life?” “Of course not,” He scoffed, “You’re totally fine. It’s just, how they treated you that bothered me.” “Gee-” “Y/N, we’ve talked about this.” He turned to you, “I’m not a controlling person, I try my hardest not to be. But damn, those girls are complete poisons. They’re hurting you, they’re doing far more harm than good. And I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a manipulator or anything, but even you’ve admitted you’re a lot different around them.” You sighed and nodded.

“I know, I just-” You began, “I’ve spent so many years of my life surrounding myself with people like them that it’s hard for me to know what to do without that, ya know?” He nodded.

“You don’t need a bunch of model friends thought to still be a great model.” You nodded.

“I’ll cut everything off with them in the morning, okay?” “Babe, you don’t need to rush it,” He said, “I mean, sure, the sooner the better, but this is your timing okay?” You nodded.

“Do you think everything will be okay?” You asked him next.

“Well, after they very possibly blame you for everything over text and try to put you down a psychological spiral, because that’s what they do, then yes, everything should be okay.” He smiled to which you nudged him. “You’re making this so much easier.” You sarcastically said, “I don’t even know why I ask you.” “Because you love me.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

A Place Like This 2

Warnings: this short series will include dark elements including noncon, possible violence, mentions of mental illness, and other explicit content. I’m not your mother, curate your own consumption.

This is dark!Lumberjack!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start asking questions but you might not like the answers.

Note: I’m a filthy liar and this is gonna be obv more than two parts and I dunno what I’m doing.

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Your office was the room across the hall from Andy’s, just beside the bathroom and furthest from your mother’s.

You had a routine; it helped you keep on track. You woke up, had a coffee and a small breakfast, and climbed back upstairs to begin your work. At noon, you took a break, you went for a walk or just sat on the porch with your mother if she wasn’t in her room. You returned to work and later in the afternoon you came down to remind your mother about her pills. Then you started dinner as the day was in its final decline.

Andy only changed that slightly. He woke earlier than you did and was on his way out as you got up. He came home around dinner time and you left a plate for him in the oven if he was late. He was quiet, he ate, and went upstairs. The first week went by as such. You almost pitied him for living in what seemed a crowded isolation.

Then the weekend came. Like the other lumber workers, he had those two days to himself. It would be the first real test of your arrangement.

You woke at your usual time and went down to make your coffee. You only wrote for a couple hours on weekends. Breaks were good. You measured the grounds into the percolator and filled it with water. You turned on the decades old stove and turned as you heard the old stairs groan.

Andy appeared in the door. He wore jeans and a thick knitted sweater. His hair, overgrown and shaggy, was pushed away from his face, his beard a shade darker and starting to puff out from its length. You suspected that as a lawyer, he never looked so unkempt and yet even now, he still managed to look refined.

“Hate to be selfish but you think there’s enough for me?” He crossed to the table and sat. 

“Should be,” You rubbed your hands together. You wore an old sweatshirt with a grizzly on the front and your old faded jeans with the bleach stain on the knee. Unfashionable but warm. ‘“Cream, milk, sugar?”

“Black’s fine,” He said as he scratched his chin. “I was thinking today I could stock us up on wood for the fireplace. Since it’s snowing now, it’s better to get it done before the winter is really here.”

You squinted at him and played with the frayed cuff of your shirt. “So, you got a lot of snow in the city?”

“Not as much as here, I’m sure.” He let out a long breath and you saw the cloud in front of him. 

You paused and listened for the rattle of the furnace. “Fuck.” You pushed yourself away from the counter. “I gotta light the furnace.”

“Where is it? I’ll do it.” He offered. “Since you made the coffee.”

“You sure?”

“Think I can handle it,” He stood. “City boy and all.”

“Basement door’s outside. It’s a pain but this place is old and not very well put together.” You said. “There’s a lighter in the drawer.” You pointed at the counter. “Thanks. Oh, and the key too. Hanging by the door with the green tag.”

“Alright,” He crossed to the door. “Think I’ll figure it out.”

He disappeared down the hall and returned with his big boots. He put them on before the back door and unlocked it. He tramped down the steps as the door clattered behind him and you listened to his crisp footsteps. 

You wrung your hands as you thought. Nice enough, you surmised, but evasive. Maybe he wasn’t running from some heinous offense but he was trying to get away from something. You could tell by the way he always seemed to direct the conversation, especially when it turned on him.

You heard the sudden rumble of the furnace and the vents hissing. You turned as the percolator began to shake almost in tandem and the small glass knob bubbled with brown coffee. You took it off the burner as the basement door squeaked and the jingle of the key accompanied the snowy steps across the yard.

Andy kicked off his boots and slipped through the back door. He hung the key and he shook the snow from his hair and smoothed it back. He left his boots on the mat as you poured two mugs. He approached and you slid one to him. He took it with a soft thank you.

You added milk to yours and sat at the table as he did the same. You regretted it almost immediately. You should've taken it up with you and hid in your office. 

"Any plans today?" He asked. You blinked and he rested his palm against the hot mug. "Sorry, it's none of my business."

"Nah, nothing planned," You replied. "So you just plan on chopping wood on your day off?"

"Not much else to do up here. It's nice. Mindless." He shrugged.

"You have a lot you don't want to think about?" You wondered.

His jaw ticked as he eyed you and his lips curled slightly.

"Don't we all?"

"You'd have to to come all the way up here from wherever you're from." You commented. 

"Hmm," He chuckled under his breath. "You'd make a good prosecutor. You don't miss a lot."

"I'm a writer. I write about people, so I gotta study them closely."

"I thought you wrote about animals."

"That's what I'm paid to write about but… I have my own projects." You lifted your mug and tasted the rich brew.

He sucked his bottom lip in as his thoughts wrinkled on his forehead. "Uh huh," He uttered carefully. "Guess that's true then."

"So… is it too much to ask why you ditched being a lawyer?" You asked.

"You do anything long enough and you get bored."

"And you never did anything else? Never got married?" You prodded.

"Well, what about you?" He challenged as he hooked two finger through the handle of his mug. "Not many fish in this pond, huh."

"Touche," Your lips slanted, "You definitely are the lawyer type."

🍂

Later that day, after you gave your mother her second round of pills, you ventured out into the forest that skirt around the old property. The snow was only just past your ankles, the powder fell in spurts but didn’t seem to get much deeper. When you were met with a block or an impasse in your writing, you always came out to the trees to clear your mind. You were done for the day but you had a long week ahead of you.

You kicked the snow of a fallen tree by the river and listened to those critters not yet in hibernation in the blanket branches above. You thought about the man staying in the room next to yours and the answers he would give you; the questions you were too afraid to ask him. 

He wasn’t telling you everything, perhaps he didn’t owe you everything, but the lines in his forehead, the crinkles beside his eyes, the depth of his irises as they watched you. There were things you needed to know about a person and you feared you didn’t know enough about this stranger you’d invited in. You had been too intent on the money, on your own keeping.

Or maybe you were paranoid. You were starting to sound like your mother when she claimed the birds were listening to her and taking the messages back to the monsters of the forest. When she had barricaded herself in her room and refused to come out for fear you were one of them in disguise. The day it had all fallen apart.

Your nose was numb and tingling. You pulled your scarf up over your face and turned back. The snow was crisper now. The temperatures fell with the sun and that happened quickly in the winter. The sky was a dark grey as you came back to the house, the chimney billowed up toward the quarter moon and a soft amber light shone between the curtains of the front room.

You dusted your boots off before you stepped inside. The voice didn’t stop as you took off your coat, scarf, hat, and gloves. You slid your boots off and listened. The scene was unexpected as you peeked into the front room.

Your mother sat with her favourite blanket over her legs before the fire. A fresh stack of wood sat beside it, the basket full of split logs as well. Andy bent to poke at the embers and send up sparks as he got the fire going higher.

“So, this book you’re reading,” He said as he set the poker aside. “Did she get away yet?”

“I don’t think she’s gonna,” Your mother replied as Andy stood and brushed off his jeans. “I don’t think that’s what the story’s about.”

“That’s too bad.” He looked up and his eyes met yours. You moved so that you stood in the doorway. “But I guess that’s truer to life. Not everyone gets their happy ending.”

“Well, I’ve been taking my time because it doesn’t have an ending. Yet.” She explained. “I’m waiting for her to finish.”

Your blood went cold. You crossed your arms and cleared your throat.

“What book is this, ma?” You asked.

She looked around the chair at you and blanched. Andy sat on the sofa and you pushed yourself away from the door frame. Your mother shook her head. 

“I told you not to read my stuff.” You grimaced as you came closer. “It’s a first draft. Unfinished, unedited. It’s… personal.”

“From what she says, it’s pretty good regardless,” Andy offered. “Can’t blame her for her curiosity.”

You looked at him sharply and sighed as you dropped your arms.

“Whatever. Just don’t look at it again til I’m done.” You reprimanded. “Please. I’ll give you a look when I’m ready.”

“Dunno why it’s such a big deal. You write for the magazine all the time.” She grumbled.

“Because this isn’t an article on leaf fauna, ma,” You rubbed your cheek. “You already eat?”

“Just about to. Andy put a casserole in the oven.” She smiled. “Never knew a man who cooked. Your father, he couldn’t even salt his own eggs.”

“Mmm,” You sniffed as the smell of the burning wood melded with another more savoury scent. “Well, thank you, Andy. That was considerate. I’m sorry I waited so late, I was a bit distracted.”

“No problem,” He shrugged. “Really, the least I can do.”

You glanced between him and your mom. She hadn’t been this awake in ages. Her meds usually had her napping until dinnertime and asleep just as quickly after. She was vibrant and more friendly to this man than people she’d known for decades. You felt as if you’d walked in on something. 

“Well, let me know. I’ll be upstairs.” You backed up. “There’s some strudel left from yesterday we can have for dessert.”

You left them and stopped at the bottom of the stairs as you looked back into the front room. Andy’s voice droned as he spoke to your mom and as she chuckled his eyes found yours. They narrowed for just a moment before he turned back and smiled at the older woman. 

Nice enough, you presumed, but why didn’t you believe it?

🍂

The next day, you watched Andy through the window. The snow was thicker, a harbinger of the storm that had been brewing for over a week. He crossed to the trees, his boots barely higher than the blanket below. He sank down with each step. Only a fool would venture out as the windows billowed and flung the snow errantly.

You tore yourself away and pulled the curtain shut. You crept out into the hall and listened. Your mother slept late that day and when you gave her her pills, she’d just rolled over and fallen back to sleep. 

You neared the door of Andy’s room and your hand hesitated on the knob. You took a breath and twisted it. You entered and were struck by the man’s smell; of his sweat and the deodorant that always lingered around him. The bed was made and the room barely looked lived in. 

You walked slowly to the closet. Flannel shirts and jackets hung within above a single suitcase.

You felt a pang of guilt. Had you not just chided your mother for her snooping? You bent and unzipped the bag. It was empty. You checked the pockets; empty too. You stood and slid the door back into place. You went to the bed, the table next to it with the drawer that didn’t quite shut all the way and you wiggled it open.

The bible your mother left in there as if it were a hotel and pack of smokes. You’d never seen Andy smoke, never even smelled it on him. You took the carton and flipped open the top. Inside, a folded picture. You tiptoed to the window and looked out. His footprints faded into the trees.

You slid the photo out and opened it with shaky hands. It was Andy, shorter hair, trimmed beard, smiling, his arm around a dark-haired woman and a young boy in front of them. You folded it quickly and pushed it back behind the sticks in the pack. You placed it as you had found it and forced the drawer shut. 

Was he running from his own family? Or maybe, what had happened to them?

You fled his room and closed the door guiltily. You were only more confused than before. You descended the stairs and hastily pulled your coat from the hook. Your hat was pulled on carelessly and you tied your boots without thinking. You pushed your hands into your gloves and angled yourself out the door. It was fucking cold; the fleece lining of your coat made little difference.

You grunted as you forced your boots through the snow and followed Andy’s tracks as they filled with a new layer of powder. You weren’t sure what you were doing, why you were doing it. What could he be doing all the way out in the woods which would be incriminating?

You went on, even as the questions floated in your mind. You followed his large boot prints, placing your feet in them as you followed his path. You came to a stop before the river, the overturned tree showed where someone had brushed aside the snow. The tracks veered off away from the log and you looked around.

You were forced back into an upright trunk, the breath knocked out of you as Andy pinned you with his arm across your chest. His eyes seared into you as he leaned his weight into you and you gasped for air as you smacked his shoulder.

“Why are you following me?” He growled.

“What? Andy, let me--” You gasped, barely able to breathe, the snow clumping in your lashes. “And--”

“Hmm? I see you watching me. I see the way you look at me.” He hissed. “I help you, help your mother and what? What do you think I am?” He grabbed your chin, his hide glove rough against your skin. “Am I that villain you write about? Is that what you think?”

“No, I…” You smacked him again and again. “I was just---” He let off just a little as you gulped for air. “There’s a storm. You shouldn’t be out here--”

“You think I can’t handle a storm?” He snarled. “You’re not a very good liar and trust me, I’ve known a lot of liars.”

“Let go of me.” You pleaded. “Jesus Christ, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I followed you, okay? I was just… curious.”

“Uh huh,” He turned you and forced his arm around your neck as he bent you over. You kicked as he dragged you through the snow towards the river. “WHat do you think? I’m hiding some big secret like one of those books you read?”

“Let--go,” Your feet slid through the blanket below. “Stop! What are you--”

“You think I’m what? A criminal? A murderer!?” He pulled you up and spun you away from him. You stumbled backwards as you faced him. 

Your boots slid beneath you and you hearth the hard thunk of your sole against the the ice. Thick but not thick enough. You held out your hands as you looked down at the river coursing below the brittle surface. Your heart raced in your ears. You tried to take a step forward but he was at the bank, watching you.

“Ah ah,” He raised his hand. “You stay where you are.”

“What are you doing?” You pushed your feet apart. “Andy--”

“Terrible accident you falling through the ice like that. There’s just so much snow, you can’t really tell where the water begins.” He smiled and tucked his hands in his pocket as you heard the slow crack beneath you. “Your mother will be devastated.”

You swallowed as your eyes wetted and you looked between him and your feet. You lifted your boot and the snap below you had your heart in your throat. You plunged into the freezing water with a shrill shriek, your arms flying up to grab onto the ice. 

The frozen sheet broke as you tried to latch on and you kicked as the water soaked your coat and dragged you down into the depth further. You flapped helplessly and spun in circles in the waves. The water filled your lungs and you choked and you stared up through the frigid foam, the blurry shadow staring down at you.

The cold bit deep into your flesh and your limbs weakened the more you struggled. The water smothered you and your body spasmed in the thralls of finality. Your eyes rolled back and the dark water flowed around you in welcome.

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

Whoops.

(Draco!Healer x reader!teacher)

Note: I am writing way too much about Draco, damn

Summary: Draco is a healer for Hogwarts, his best friend is a teacher and the students have seemed to notice a possible romance in the works

Warnings: Fluff, injuries, swearing, and yes you are shirtless in a scene or two, the phrase "eye shagging"

You stood beside your desk. "So in summary, no Gaston, you can not use that in a potion because it'd explode." You laughed out. The students all chuckled. "Ma'am.. i cut myself on my beaker can I go get a bandage?" A student asked. You rose a brow. "There's a broken beaker?" You asked. "Yeah, Gaston kind of used eye of newt when your back was turned." The student said. "...Great. Gaston, fifteen points from Gryffindor, miss Weasley get a band aid out of my top desk, class dismissed." You said with a small sigh. You got a bucket and picked up the broken glass. "Miss Weasley, class is--" "I know. But dad would kill me if I didn't help." She said. You chuckled. "I'm sure George wouldn't." You said, picking up shards of glass from the floor. You however picked up the shard the wrong way, cutting your palm. "Shit!" You hissed. "Oh no! Do I need to get a bandage--" "I'm a afraid a bandaid won't fix this." You laughed. "Thank you dear, you should get to class. I got lucky that I don't have students this hour." You assured. She nodded and left, leaving the small mess of glass. You cleaned it up, walking to Madame Pomfrey. "Oh dear, what happened to your hand!?" She asked. "Gaston Burkley decided eye of newt looked fantastic in a antidote for common poisons." You explained. "Goodness that boy loves to cause trouble." She huffed. "Draco will tend to you." She said. "Wait did you say--" A head popped out from a curtain. "Hello there." He greeted with a smile. You smirked. "So when you said 'I got a new job' this is what you meant?" You asked. He chuckled. "Yes." He nodded walking over to you. "Holy crap what happened to your hand?" He asked looking down at it. "A kid decided to add eye of newt to a potion that did not require eye of newt." You said. He chuckled and asked you to sit down. You sat in a seat and he pulled a stool forward, grabbing disinfectant, tweezers and a bandage. He pulled your hand forward. "How big was this shard of glass?" He asked. "Well it was a big beaker so-- Ow!" You winced. "Focus on the questions Y/n." He said. "So you became a potions teacher." He said. "And you became-- Ow-- a pain in my arse apparently." You winced. He chuckled. "After the battle I wanted to help people. I decided medicine was the best way." He said. You smiled. "You always were so kind for someone who pretended to be such a dick." You teased. "I only showed that side to you though." He chuckled. You looked up at him. "We were really close weren't we?" You asked. He smiled looking up. "You were the reason I stayed with the students." He said softly. You felt your cheeks heat up. During the battle his father was so determined to get his son to be a deatheater and side with Voldemort. But the moment he even shifted you just took Draco's hand and he didn't budge. Knowing you were the whole reason he stayed... Really changed the atmosphere of the room.

He cleared his throat, looking down at your hand. "I don't think you'll need stitches but it will definitely scar." He said. "there goes my options of being a hand model." You joked. He chuckled. "I mean you have another hand" he teased. "True true. I think I'll stick to teaching though." You said. "I'm going to warn you this is going to burn." He warned. "I'm sure it's not that bad-- OW HOLY CRAP WHAT DID YOU DO, LIGHT IT ON FIRE!?" You winced. He tried not to laugh, ultimately failing and almost going red. You frowned, almost pouting at him. "Ass." You said making him laugh. "Forgive me but when you said 'I'm sure I can handle it' followed by the equivalent of 'No I can't' I can't help but laugh at that." He laughed out. "He's lucky he's cute. Bastard." You thought internally. He wrapped your hand. "Come to me if you need anything else okay?" He said. You nodded and returned to your classroom.

Class the next day was odd, to say the least. A student's wand seemed to be on the fritz. "What in the bloody blazes is--" "DUCK!" a student yelled. You ducked in time to avoid a bolt. "someone hexed his wand!" A student concluded. "Lily, go get the defense teacher-- Crap!" You dodged. You sighed in relief, narrowly avoiding a spark until "MISS Y/N LOOK OUT--"

You didn't exactly miss that last one. The defense teacher found you on the floor with a gouge in your chest. "Goodness! What happened?" She asked. "Someone hexed Francis' wand!" A student ducked under a desk answered. After removing the hex, she brought you to the wing. "Oh my goodness-- Draco!" Madame Pomfrey called. Draco walked out and saw you, his heart dropping as he did. "What happened!?" He asked. "A student's wand was hexed, tell me she's going to be fine." The teacher said. Draco pushed aside the uncomfortable feeling from removing your shirt and looked at the wound. "It's going to require stitched but I think she'll be fine." Pomfrey concluded. Mcgonagall ran in. "I heard a teacher was injured." She said. Draco was stitching you up, best to his abilities. "Goodness gracious these students will quite literally be the death of us." She sighed. Students were outside of the wing, catching Mcgonagall off guard. "Is she going to be alright?" A student asked. "she'll be fine--" "Who did this?" Mcgonagall asked. Everyone turned to Gaston. "Detention. You're lucky I don't expell you either." She said sharply. "Yes Headmaster." He sighed.

You were out like a light for a few days, Draco sitting by you any free time he had. Occasionally students would visit to see if you were okay, and maybe see the cute medic, but would leave after a few minutes.

You finally woke up though, wincing as you leaned up. "What in the bloody hell happened?" Your first words were. Draco resisted a snort. "That Berkely kid loves to cause trouble." Draco answered. You chuckled. "Ah. Reminds me of--" "Fred and George" both of you said before laughing. "How are those two?" Draco asked. "Mmm. Well I have to deal with the WONDERFUL offspring who clearly get merchandise from their shop." You answered. "How is... All of them?" Draco asked. You smiled. "They're good. Ron and Hermione had a nice wedding. Harry and Ginny did too." You said. "Ah." Draco nodded. "they've asked about you." You said as Draco grabbed antiseptic. He rose a brow turning around. "They have?" He asked. "mmm hmm." You nodded. "Molly says she's sent you sweaters..." You said. He chuckled and nodded. "How in the blazes did that woman even get my measurement.... y/n did you give her my measurements?" He asked making you chuckle. "Mayyyybbbeee." You said. He rolled his eyes. "I'm surprised they would even want to know about me after..." He shook his head. "You saved Fred's life. Molly would never forget something like that." You said. "I blasted a rock." He said. "You saved him." You corrected. Draco looked at you with a bandage in hand. "I'll write to her then..." Draco said with a small smile. "Is this the burning stuff?" You asked. "Sadly, yes." He said. "You must hate me. You've got to, to be using that." You groaned. He rolled his eyes. "Y/n I need you to remove your shirt." He said. You sighed unbuttoning it. "So did never got married?" You asked catching Draco off guard. "Uhm... No. No I didn't." He answered. "Huh." You said. Hermione would never let you here the end of this one. He applied the antiseptic and you winced. "Fucking hell." You groaned. Yep. That's definitely proof you never changed. You always had such a strong mouth. Strong will to back that up too. You leaned forward, allowing Draco to apply the bandages. "Thank you Draco." You said sincerely. He smiled. "You're welcome Y/n." He said. "Uhhh Mister Malfoy, Wesley fell off his broom again." A student called. "Again? Jesus how directionally challenged is this kid?" Draco asked making you laugh.

You went back to teaching, coming in during your breaks to change the bandages and catch up. However your wounds were almost healed and you were now just taking potions prescribed by Draco. Draco knocked on the door frame and you turned around. "It's that time already?" You groaned. "Afraid so." He said. "This stuff tastes like piss." You groaned as he handed you a glass. The students laughed. "You still don't have a filter, even with your students." He chuckled. "Draco, when have I ever?" You asked. "How long have you two known each other?" A student asked. Both of you pondered. "Way too long." You chuckled before drinking it. You coughed and gagged. "Seriously? Whoever designed that must have dead taste buds." You said. He laughed and you smiled. A student's nose began to bleed and he walked over, helping them. "Allergies?" You asked the kid. "I hate them." She grumbled. You smiled and sighed, turning back to write on the board. "At least you get more time with mister Malfoy though." The student said making both of you freeze in place. "What was that?" You asked turning back around. "We've all noticed it, the whole heart eyes, puppy love look you two give each other." A student said. You shook your head, picking up a bottled water and sipping it to get rid of the medicine's taste. "Please, they're practically shagging each other with their eyes." Fred's son, Arthur declared making you cough up the water and Draco turn crimson. "Weasley!" A student scolded. "Those were my Dad's words when describing those two! He said ever since third year the two of them were always looking at each other that way." He said. Draco chuckled. "Of course Fred did." Draco muttered, mentally punching Fred in his mind. "Seriously though, it is obvious that you two are in love." Another student said. "We aren't--" "No we aren't--" "That's--" you both stuttered over every word. "See, you can't even lie about it." Arthur said. You blushed and turned back to the board. "Wait your dad knew them in their third year?" A student asked. "Mister Malfoy saved my dad's life in the battle of hogwarts." Arthur answered. A bunch of students let out "Woahs" and "oohs" but you snorted. "Told you he held you in high regard!" You said to Draco. "Oh sod off." Draco laughed.

"My nose is still not letting up, am I dying?" The student asked. "You're not dying, you might've scratched the inside of it though" Draco said turning back to the student. "Miss Y/n also comes over for all of the holidays and talks a lot about Mister Malfoy too." Arthur said making you snap the chalk with how hard you bared down on it. "Can we please change the subject Arthur!?" You asked. "Yes ma'am." He laughed out. Draco smiled to himself but noticed you didn't ask them to stop talking. You actually would chime in on the personal conversation occasionally as you wrote. "Wait so you knew the Auror Harry?" A student asked. "The Potters go here dude, this isn't new." A student replied. "Yeah but still." They said. "We both knew him." Draco said, cleaning up the remnants of the nosebleed. "My mum knew you too. Said something about punching you in your third year" the student said making you snort. "Is your mother Hermione?" He asked. "Yes." The girl nodded. "That's true." Draco said making the students laugh. "Let's not forget he was a good quidditch player too." You reminded. "Not as good as you were." Draco corrected. "Draco, you could've been in the big leagues if you wanted." You said. "You're the one that managed to trigger a sonic boom while flying." Draco reminded. "You both played quidditch?" A student asked. "Yes. Draco had won most of the matches he was in." You said. "Aside from you and--" you both mimicked the voice Draco would use when talking about Harry "Potter." You both said making the students laugh.

"Do you like teaching instead miss Y/n?" A student asked. You turned around, a sincere smile as you faced the class. "I wouldn't trade this for the world." You said. Draco's heart skipped a beat looking at your happy expression. "It is strange teaching my friends' children though." You added making the students laugh. Draco smiled at that and a student noticed his look. "Was it fun going to school with our parents?" Another student asked. "Oh most definitely. Especially Arthur and Bill's parents. Those two were insane." You laughed. "Oh are you referring to the underground business they ran or the explosives they set off to anger Umbridge?" Draco asked. "Wait what?" A student asked. "Oh yeah, that was a fun day wasn't it?" You laughed. "Fun? It was fantastic." He said. He shook his head "But nothing will ever beat--" "Hogsmeade." Both of you said. You both exchanged looks and the students all felt the tension between you two. "They're doing that thing again." A student whispered. "Oh you mean SHAGGING WITH THEIR EYES!?" Arthur yelled making both of you dissolve into laughter along with the students. "I should go, sorry for disturbing your class." Draco said. "Bye Draco." You waved. He left and you shook your head.

"You so take after your father." You said to Arthur. "We were serious about you and Mister Malfoy though!" A student said. "you two would be perfect for each other Miss Y/n!" Another agreed. "Goodness knows he's in love at least." Another student said. You shook your head with a small smile. "what on earth would make you think that?" You asked. "Maybe the fact that while you were asleep he never left your side. Or the fact that you're with him everytime you're given a break. Or as Arthur said 'the eye shagging of a lifetime'." The student declared. "Oh won't you admit it Miss Y/n? At least say he's attractive!" A student begged. "Don't you guys have anything better to do than gossip over faculty members?" You groaned. "The student's drama is so DULL. This is the highlight of the year! Give us something! Pleassee!" A student begged. You sighed turning back to the board making the students groan. "He's cute." You said making the students roar with delight.

That day was so tiring. You walked into the medic wing and he looked up. "Hey you." He said with a smile. "Hi. I'm exhausted." You said, face planting onto an empty bed. He laughed. "Students tired you out?" He asked. "Oh God. Do not remind me of those little mongrels." You groaned. He shook his head with a smile. "they seemed fixated on me and you" he said. "Oh they love to talk." You chuckled. "One of the students came for their medication earlier." He said grabbing something. "Oh?" You asked. "they said that you concluded that I was 'Cute'." He said with a teasing smile. Snitch. Thar kid was a little snitch.

You rolled your eyes. "These students will be the death of me." You groaned. Draco noticed your avoidance around your answer. "Did you actually call me cute?" He asked, a smirk coming to play on his lips. "I'm not answering that." You laughed out. "Hmm. I'm thinking I know the answer now." He said. You rolled your eyes. "Yes Draco I called you cute." You finally answered. He shook his head with a chuckle.

The two of you never brought it up again until the next time he came with that disgusting medicine. "Oh yay! Poison!" You said. "Y/n you act like a child when it comes to this." Draco said. The students laughed at the banter. You drank it, again, gagging as you did. "It tastes like tar." You wheezed making him laugh. He handed you a bottle of water and you took it. "So did you two talk?" A student asked. "Yes, Madi he's aware of what I said." You said with an eye roll. Draco shook his head, walking towards the door. "No I mean about what he said about you." She said. You looked up with a brow raised. "What?" You asked. "Uhhh..." Draco didn't move, why wouldn't he move. "He said he regretted not telling you something in your forth year." The student said. "Oh?" You asked noticing the nervous look on Draco's face. Arthur leaned off of his hand, perking up like a dog. The students were all hushed. "Draco, care to comment?" You asked. He took his hand off the handle and turned back. "I'm not saying this in front of your students." He declared. "Saying what Draco?" You asked. "Nice try." He said with an eye roll. "You're dancing around the subject." You said stepping towards him. "Maybe I am." He admitted. "Maybe? Sorry do you need tap shoes for the way you're dancing right now?" You asked. He sighed. "What are they talking about?" You asked again, still walking towards him. "It's nothing." He lied. "Draco if it were nothing you would've told me by now." You said. The students were all watching intently. "What are they talking about?" You asked, looking straight into his eyes and he cracked. "That I've been in love with you since our fourth year and I haven't said anything because I didn't know if you felt the same." He said. You blinked and the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. ".... Draco..." You said, standing so close to him that he could feel your breath. "I never said anything because I didn't know if you felt the same way either." You admitted making everyone almost gasp. He looked into your eyes, cupping your face and kissing you making the entire class cheer. "IT'S ABOUT TIME!" Arthur yelled. You both smiled against each other's lips. "We're never hearing the end of this are we?" Draco asked. "Hell no." You said making him laugh and kiss you again.

You were the talk of everyone's morning for a while and that spark definitely turned into a flame after you two got engaged. Best part: it happened during class. Draco would sit in the back of your classroom watching you teach, occasionally answering kid's questions about what their parents were like in school. He was sitting there watching you and you were laughing at someone's joke. "You two seem so in love." A student said. "We are." You both said, smiles as you answered. "Thanks to us!" Arthur said. "Yes, you and your wonderful 'eye shagging' comments just made me fall head over heels." You snorted. Draco laughed and you smiled. "Have you two thought about getting married?" Bill asked. You both froze during that question. "miss Y/n?" A student said. "Well that's uhm..." You turned back to the bored. "Have you?" Draco asked, noticing the avoidance to the question. "Everyone woman thinks about that when she's in love Draco." You concluded. "So you have?" He asked. "Yes. Have you?" You asked. He got up, walking up to you and setting something in your hand. "I don't know. Have I?" He asked. You looked at your hand to see a ring resting there and you gasped very loudly. "Oh my God Draco." You said. "Will you?" He asked. "Well you have to ask me properly!" You said, tears clouding your eyes. He chuckled, taking the ring and getting down on one knee making the students gasp. "Professor Y/n L/n. Will you marry me?" He asked. You nodded and kissed him making the entire class basically scream.

The two of you did get married, Bill and Arthur taking the credit for the two of you being together in the first place. That came back to bite them though when Fred ended up being the substitute teacher for when you went off on your honeymoon, Fred busting out baby pictures when he'd misbehave. "DAD NO--" "And here's him in his first Weasley sweater!" "DAD!"

[passerine-writes]

Sero Hanta x Fem!Reader

Title: Saving Grace Genre: Angsty Fluff Warnings: Abused reader, mention of injury, brief mentions of violence and mental abuse, hints of having insomnia Word count: 2259

Quirk: N/A

The day was filled with my teachers sending me worrisome glances and asking if I was okay. It was, to put it lightly, exhausting. So far I've been able to avoid my best friend, Hanta, who I’ve known since I was about nine or ten. I came into homeroom late, along with all of our other classes together, that way he wouldn't have the chance to talk to me face to face.

From Hantatata: What's going on?

Read at 9:37

From Hantatata: You can't ignore me

Read at 10:58

From Hantatata: How'd you get all beat up like that?

Read at 12:17

I didn't answer any of them, I couldn't. How could I? How could I tell my best friend, the person I'm in love with, that I'm being abused? Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes at the thought while I pocketed my phone again. The final bell rang, Hanta was already making a bee-line for my desk.

"L/N, can you stay after?" I slowly nodded my head and begrudgingly packed up my bag at a snail pace. Hanta was waved out of the room, frustration clear on his face but said nothing in retaliation to our sleep deprived teacher. Cautiously, I approached the front of the room where he stood, fearing that I'll do the wrong thing.

"Y-Yes, Mr. Aizawa?" I held my head low, using my (h/c) (h/l) strands as a curtain.

"You're one of the highest marked students in here. You've climbed a lot faster than compared to other students and I don't want to see you fall behind. If something is going on at home or in the classroom, that we don't know about. Please be sure you can talk to any of us here at U.A." His right hand landed on my shoulder, it was meant as a reassuring gesture but I still flinched away. Cowering back just a little bit more.

"Y-Yes, I'll make sure of it." My breathing began to pick up a smidge. I did my best to conceal it, not wanting to alarm my homeroom teacher any more.

"That's all, you can head home now." I nodded once and ducked out of the classroom. I sped the whole way home, ignoring Hanta's calls as he tried talking to me in the hallway. Maybe if I get back soon enough then I'll be home before my father and nothing will happen tonight. With one goal in mind, I made it happen, barely beating him home but also sacrificing dinner.

From Hantatata: Y/N, please talk to me.

To Hantatata: I'm fine, really. It was just a bad day and I was already overwhelmed by my own brain

To Hantatata: I'm sorry for making you worry over dumb stuff

From Hantatata: Okay, if you say so.

From Hantatata: I have to go, text me if you need anything corazoncita

To Hantatata: Okay

I locked my phone, wondering what spanish name he called me today but as usual, I didn't have the energy to look it up. I stretched in place and proceeded to curl up in a ball on my bed. Allowing myself to succumb to sleep, escaping this hell for a few brief hours.

——————

It was a week after that happened, Hanta and I were sitting in lunch together when he said he turned to me, saying he wanted to ask me something.

"Y/N, uh, I know that you might not feel the same a-and it's okay if you don't! But will you be my girlfriend? I’ve liked you for a while now but never had the guts to say anything." My face went bright red and I ducked my head down to hide it, quickly nodding in the process. I flinched a bit when his hand came up and delicately grasped my chin, angling my face up. He pulled me in closer and placed a quick kiss on my forehead, effectively making me blush more. "Mí cielito." I smiled a little bit.

"So, are you finally going to tell me what they all mean? The words you're saying in spanish?" He tapped his chin in mock thought.

"Mmm, nope! You can always look them up too." He giggled at the pout that rested on my face.

"But that's too much work." He laughed harder and we continued on with our day, having a fairly good one. Until I got home. A small smile was on my face all day, even as I walked through my front door. I didn't realize he was home or his car was in the driveway.

"The hell are you smiling about?" The look of happiness immediately dropped at his harsh tone. "What, thought you could beat me home again? Avoid getting what you deserve?" I stayed quiet, I would get in trouble either way. "Answer me." He snarled menacingly as he slammed my body into the wall, my breathing stopping for a moment as the pictures and walls shook from the sheer force. "Fine, have it your way." All my mind could process was the amount of pain radiating through my body afterwards. He's careful to avoid my face and I’ve made my hero costume to cover everything so it wouldn't get out.

I didn't go to school the next day.

——————

Our first day in the dorms. A blessing but a curse. When Aizawa and All Might showed up, wanting to talk. My stomach dropped in fear.

"Kiddo, you didn't tell me anyone from the school was showing up today." My father stated as he placed a harsh hand on my shoulder. In the end, they talked him into it however I thought I was going to need the hospital last night. With patched up cuts and iced bruises, I packed up everything in one night and managed to condense everything into two boxes. Hanta and I were still together and he was my main source of happiness. I took a deep breath, my hand tightly grasped onto Hanta's, needing some sense of stability to the fact that this is real. I'm finally free. I willed back the tears and got settled into my dorm fairly quick. My room being on the fifth floor, next door to Tsu. My favorite part is my coffee bar, it's small and to the point and perfect for my late nights when I can't sleep.

A knock sounded on my door, I quickly found out that the girls had roped most of the class into a room decorating competition. Unbeknownst to me, I opened the door expecting to only see my boyfriend since nobody else in the class really went out of their way to talk to me. But instead I saw Mina and most of the class standing behind her, Hanta looked guilty and apologetic.

"Uh, hi?" I uncomfortably asked with everyone's eyes on me.

"We're doing a room decoration contest, we're finishing up now, are you in?" Her voice as cheery as ever.

"Not re-"

"Great! We'll be quick!" She pushed passed me, hitting one of the bandaged cuts from last night in the process. I forced myself to stifle a yelp of pain as I subtly wrapped my arms around my stomach. A familiar pair wrapped around mine, a chest being placed on my back and a chin on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry mí corazón. I tried talking them out of it." I squished myself further back into his chest, scared of the impending judgement.

"Woah you have a coffee bar? That's so cool! I'll definitely be coming here!" Mina exclaimed. I nervously tapped my fingers on Hanta's hands, trying to find a calming stim in order to not break down.

"Mina, why don't we go to the next dorm?" Hanta suggested, trying his best to de-stress the situation on my end.

"Oh! Right! Let's go! L/N, you coming with?" I shook my head, not having a large enough social battery for this.

"I'm gonna stay behind, I'll catch up." My boyfriend stated calmly with a large smile.

"Okay!" And with that, the crowd was gone. I turned around in my boyfriends chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. My head immediately burying into chest as his arms went around my shoulder, one hand reaching up and playing with my hair.

"Are you okay, mí amor?" I nodded my head while we held each other. One of his hands reaching lower and grazing against one of the shallower scars. I winced without thinking and clung closer to him. "What happened? Corazoncita, what's wrong?" I shook my head, willing away tears. Not tears of pain, but tears of fear, loathing, disgust, and over all, tears of grief. Hanta slowly lead me over to my mattress and shutting the door with a soft click. He sat down criss cross in front of me as I sat curled up. "Amor, I have something to ask and I need you to be honest with me, please." I nodded as I created a hair curtain once again. "Is your dad abusive?" I slowly nodded my head, his thumbs rubbed circles over my knuckles. "Mí alma, how long as this been going on for?" I sucked in a shaky breath.

"Uhm, a, a while. Years. I've just been good at hiding it." The room was tense with too many emotions, so much so it could be cut with a knife.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice broke a bit during his question.

"I- I didn't know how, and he would threaten anyone I got close with. H-He’s, I don't-" I willed back more tears, not wanting to cry in front of Hanta. He slowly pulled me close to him and stroked my hair, playing with it for a moment and planting chaste but loving kissing on my head.

"You're okay, you're safe. I'm here." I nodded meekly at his words. "Can I, see whatever I bumped earlier? To make sure you're physically okay? I-If you're not comfortable with that that's okay." I looked down and contemplated it for a moment before lifting up the edge of my long sleeve shirt. I showed him the front, the two bandaged spots and the artwork of bruises and faded scars. "Mí pobrecita." Hesitantly, I turned around and showed him my back, which had even more bruises of purples, greens and colors, along with one bandage that was a bitch to get on there by myself. I delicately shuffled it back down and spun back, not meeting Hanta's eye. After this he probably won't want me anymore. My stomach dropped at the thought, not wanting to admit that after tonight I'll lose the most important person to me. However he decided for me once again, slowly and gently propping his index finger under my chin and having me look at him. His eyes were filled with love and concern.

"P-Please don't leave me." My hand instinctively came up and cupped his hand, but instead of defensively, it was delicately. He dropped my chin and turned his hand, grabbing mine and placing a small kiss on the back.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here." His voice was just above a whisper. "C’mon, let's lay down for a bit princesa." I gently nodded, knowing I needed to rest. He laid back against my pillows, propped up on one of his large elbows. I curled up in the space in front of his chest, one of his arms loosely but securely, draping over my waist, careful of any injury. It didn't take long for my eyes to flutter shut.

Sero's POV

I placed a gentle kiss on Y/N's forehead, admiring her for just a moment before pulling out my phone. Scrolling through social media for about an hour worked at keeping my mind occupied until I felt tired enough to sleep. The precious girl in my arms started breathing harder, her hands tightened on the t-shirt I was wearing and her face contorted into what I saw to be pain. I shushed her a bit, as you would a small child. With ginger movements, I pulled her closer and ran my fingers through her hair.

"Shh, mi amor. It's just a bad dream. You're safe. You're safe, you're with me. I'm not going anywhere." This went on for a few moments, me whispering sweet nothings too her whilst playing with her hair, until she finally calmed down. Her hands still balled into fists on my shirt but I don't mind, if that's what's helping her stay content then so be it.

In the morning, I woke up to the sun creeping through the curtains on my face. I realized I wasn't in my room at home or my room at the dorms then everything from last night resurfaced in my thoughts. I looked down and admired the beautiful girl in my arms, ever so softly snoring as she stayed clung to me, our legs now intertwined as she slept peacefully. Glancing behind me, I checked the clock, seeing we slept in a bit but we didn't have anywhere to be. I studied every detail on her face, becoming more and more mesmerizing until she woke up and caught me red handed.

"Good morning." She whispered before stretching a bit and rolling back towards me.

"Good morning, mi amor."

[baroquebucky]

Italian days

request: could you write something about going to Italy with timothee? Im just imagining how cute and romantic it would be 🥺

a/n: this is so cute !!! prepare for typical tourist attractions also i have no idea where any of these things are in relation to each other so :-) i literally googled what to do in these places bc I’ve never been sorry guys:-( this ones long so strap in and get ready !!! let me know what y’all think abt it ! i kinda wanna make headcanons about this too hehe >:) I hope you all enjoy it and send me some requests 🥰

You quickly finished packing your last t shirt in the already full suitcase, putting your weight onto it so that you could zip it up fully. You were excited for the trip that timothee had planned for the two of you, giddy to finally spend some alone time with you favorite boy. “ma cherie are you almost done?” you heard timmy call out from the living room. Quickly you grabbed the final bag off the bed and scanned the room, going over a mental checklist to ensure you didn't forget anything. 

“okay i have everything, did you get everything? Do you have all the things you need? What time is it? Are we gonna be late? Oh god what if the plane leaves without us” you began to ramble, going through every worst case scenario possible. Timothee looked at you in awe, he had never seen you this nervous about anything before, he least expected it to come out right before a romantic getaway.

“angel, calm down, it’s fine let’s go to the airport we’re right on time” he smiled at you, giving you a quick kiss before he helped you with your bags and you two headed to the Uber waiting outside your shared apartment. As you helped him squeeze the luggage in you both sat in the backseat, you were so excited for the trip.

“You know we should go to Paris for our next anniversary” timmy spoke offhandedly, mindlessly playing with your hair as the movie you had chose played on the tv. “That would be fun, I’ve never been there” you smiled, looking at him briefly before your eyes settled on the screen again.

“where have you traveled to?” He questioned, curious as to all the places you’ve visited. “mmm i mean I’ve never been to Europe, i left the state a couple times for road trips but that’s about it” you replied, not thinking anything of the question. “You mean to tell me that you’ve never been to Italy?” He gasped and you laughed at his shock.

“We aren’t all stars or rich Chalamet” you suppressed laughter but one look at his facial expression caused you to burst into a fit of laughter. “That’s it im booking a flight to Italy, we can go to venice and oh we could even travel to where we filmed call me by your name! And then we could go to Rome!” He gushed, moving quickly to get his laptop.

You were excited, until you realized you had $20 in your wallet and maybe $67 in you bank account. “Timothée wait no” you spoke, rushing behind him to stop him. He turned around confused as to why you didn’t want to go.

“do you not wanna go? I thought you liked Italy? You show me videos about people going there all the time” he asked, searching your face for an answer. “I do! I’ve always wanted to go there” you stated, sighing as your gazes met. “it’s just- how am i gonna pay for my ticket? I don’t have enough money and-” before you could finish timothée cut you off.

“what makes you think you’re paying?” He grinned, running to the room to get the laptop once again. You messed with your fingers for a second, you didn’t want him to spend money on you, you’ve always felt bad about it.

“timmy no you can’t just buy me a ticket there” you spoke, walking into the room, seeing the boy sitting on the bed, legs crossed with the laptop in his lap. He furrowed his brows and replied without looking up from his screen. “Why not? You’re my girl, think of it as a present” he smiled, you opened your mouth to protest but he quickly stopped you.

“i just bought them so you can’t take it back” he beamed, you frowned for a second before he gave you the puppy eyes. Of course you couldn’t resist, you tackled him with a hug and kissed him, thanking him a million times.

And so here the two of you were, sitting in the backseat on your way to the airport, going over the loose itinerary timothée had made for the two of you once you landedin Venice. He had gone beyond what you expected to make this trip memorable despite telling him to not worry.

When you got to the airport everything went surprisingly smooth despite you being nervous the whole time. The two of you bought breakfast and ate it in the little food court, then headed to the gate which your plane would be in and played games while waiting to board.

Once the plane arrived the two of you got on, of course he had bought first class, you wanted to scold him for spending so much but as soon as you saw how excited he was you couldn’t be mad at him. “look! we get pillows and everything” he giggled, you smiled at him and nodded, equally as excited as him. The two of you ended up watching two movies, falling asleep during the second one.

You woke up first, smiling at the sight of timmy with messy hair, mouth slightly parted and cheeks lightly flushed as he slept. You decided to wait on waking him up, instead you occupied yourself by looking out the window and listening to your music.

The landing woke timothée up and he smiled at you brightly, it took him a couple minutes to really wake up, mumbling incoherently before he came fully to his senses.

As soon as you got off the plane you were excited, pulling timothée along to get out of the airport as soon as possible. When you finally got everything and exited you got into the car timothée had ordered for the two of you and headed to the hotel to unpack.

Timothée posted a picture of you staring out the window in awe onto his Instagram story, “she’s excited right now, just wait until she sees the canals” he wrote, smiling as he thought of all the pictures the two of you would take.

You expected an average hotel room, if timothée really splurged then maybe above average, you did not expect to get the presidential suite at a five star hotel. The smile on your face made everything worth it to timothée, he made sure this trip would be memorable. “Timothée Hal Chalamet! How much did you fucking spend!” You squeaked, rushing around the room to check everything on.

“That doesn’t matter, what matters is that you get changed and get ready, we’re in Venice for two days before our next stop and I have so much for us to do” he smiled, pulling you in for a kiss which you quickly returned. Resting your head on his chest you sighed, taking a Monet to let everything sink in. You’re in Italy with the love of your life. Holy shit.

Timothée had bought multiple disposable cameras for the two of you to use, wanting to develop all of them by the time you guys got back home.

Before you knew it you were wandering the streets of Venice, a permanent smile on your face as you took so many photos of the scenery and of timothée and of course together. The two of you visited the top tourist spots like Saint Marks Basilica, the both of you in awe of its beauty and laughing until your stomach hurt feeding the pidgeons.

Timothée was scared for his life when a pidgeon landed on his shoulder, immediately going stiff and begging for you to help him. You quickly pulled out your phone, recording him and zooming into his face, a face of pure fear. After you posted it you quickly shooed the pidgeon away, holding his hand and a small pidgeon landed on your shoulder and you fed it out of your free hand.

You smiled brightly at timothée who had moved away from you slightly causing you to giggle. “You laugh now but I’m gonna be the one poop free, those things are ruthless” he stated, a serious look on his face which quickly turned soft as you attempted to pet the bird on you. “Look at him he’s so cute!” You gushed, drowning as it flew away.

“Cmon sweet girl, we have a ride to catch, in the canal” he winked and you gasped, pulling him before you stopped, realizing you didn’t know where you were even going.

When the two of you arrived he helped you into the boat, it was only the two of you and the one driving the small boat, you were sitting next to each other, pointing at everything, a constant smile on both of your faces. He held your hand the whole time, most of the time looking at you rather than the sights you were in such awe of. A small smile on his face as he admired how beautiful you looked, you looked so stress free and happy and he knew everything else he had planned was so worth it if he got to see you like this.

After the ride on the canals the two of you ate at a small little restaurant, drinking some wine and talking about the days events.

“I just think it’s funny that you were that scared of the pidgeons” you giggled, and he frowned at you, “i wasn’t scared, i was just- cautious” he smirked, watching you roll your eyes at his remark.

The two of you finished dinner, walking around the now calmer streets, admiring everything at night for about an hour, kissing under streetlights and chasing one another through the streets, laughter bouncing off the buildings.

The two of you showered once you got back to the hotel and absolutely crashed after you had snuggled under the sheets. The two of you exhausted from the plane ride and walking everywhere all day.

You both woke up late in the morning to the sound of timothées alarm, you yawned, burying yourself more into timothées side, wanting ten more minutes. “Wake up mon amour i still have some stuff planned for today before we leave for Florence” he spoke softly into your hair, kissing the top of your head. He had decided to skip on taking you to Crema, deciding it would make for a good excuse to come back.

You woke up slowly, getting ready and waiting for timothée on the bed once you had finished. You were starving but you didn’t want to eat without him. You laid on your stomach and dozed off only to wake up to a now fully dressed timothée, smiling at you and kissing your nose. “let’s go eat and then we can head out” he whispered and you nodded, getting up from the bed and following him out the door.

The two of you spent the day walking around and seeing anything else you wanted, eating much too much food and buying way too many souvenirs. The day seemed to fly by and before you knew it you were headed to Florence, of course shoving all your luggage into the bus that the two of you were taking to the wonderful city. You slept most of the way while timothée read through a script for a new movie. He woke you up gently when you guys arrived, piling out along with everyone else as the two of you found the car timothée had ordered for this city, heading to yet another 5 star hotel with an amazing room.

It was late at night so the two of you only slipped into bed and set an alarm for later tomorrow morning, cuddling through the whole night, waking up once to eat some of the fruit that the hotel had given to the two of you as a gift.

The next morning the alarm went off and you quickly turned it off, placing your head on timothées chest, a smile on your face while he played with your hair.

“let’s get ready, i have something special planned, wear that one outfit you brought, you know the one that you said you’ve always wanted to wear?” He smiled, a mischievous glint in your eye. You gave him a kiss on the cheek and nodded, going to get ready.

After you finished you scrolled through your phone, replying to people and sifting through the pictures from Venice, deleting the ones which turned out bad or way too blurry. You decided to lay on your side, thinking you wouldn’t fall back asleep but you were wrong. Before you knew it you felt a gentle nudge.

“Cmon sleeping beauty i have a picnic for us” he beamed, a twinkle in his eye. You woke up quickly, a giant grin on your face as your mouth fell open. “A picnic? Oh my god this is a dream, angel you’re so amazing oh my god! I love you so much” You gushed, tackling timothée once you got off the bed and hugging him tightly, kissing him all over his face.

“i love you more ma cherie, now lets go” he smiled, opening the door for you and quickly taking your hand while walking down the halls.

You had ended up accidentally falling asleep in the car, head on timothées shoulder, he recorded you, saving it but not posting it, knowing if he did you would get him back and start a full fledged war.

As the car approached the Piazzle Michaelangelo he shook you softly, your eyes fluttered open and a small smile overtook your features. “Oh my god it’s so pretty” you gasped as the two of you stepped out of the car and onto the concrete floor, he got the picnic basket from the car as you went to save a spot on the steps. He quickly found you and opened the basket between the two of you, eating the food and making conversation, laughing and enjoying the fact that both of you were in Italy, overlooking Florence.

After sitting there for a while, cuddling and pointing things out the two of you drove into the city, excited to see everything the city had to offer. The two of you walked down the streets hand in hand, taking pictures once more and in awe of the beauty the city offered.

Of course the two of you drove all over the city visiting museums, seeing all the statues and artworks you had always admired through your phone screen. You almost wanted to cry of happiness seeing everything in person, you walked quickly in the museums, timothée barely keeping up with you as you rushed everywhere, making sure you absorbed every last detail.

Of course timothée took the typical you looking at art picture, and of course he posted it and captioned it “art looking at art” causing his fans to go feral, everyone tweeting and posting about how cute the two of you were. You held timmys hand when you realized he was dragging behind, pulling him along and forcing him to move at your speed.

“oh my god I love this painting, look at the brushstrokes! I read once that when he was painting this-” you began, going into detail about said artists life. Timothée stared at you, his chest swelling with love, a smile on his face as you went on and on about the paintings, he hung onto every word you said, loving the way your eyes lit up and the amount of emotion in your voice as you spoke of what you loved.

After you had visited the museums l, the two of you walked all over the city, taking in the culture and also taking many breaks and calling a cab to go to places he had planned to take you. Of course he set up a reservation at a fancy restaurant, eating to your hearts delight and drinking amazing wine, overseeing the bustling city as the sun set.

“i cannot believe we’re in Florence Italy” you sighed happily, looking out at the city while you sipped on your wine, timothée smiled at you. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to thank you enough angel, you really made my dreams come true” you spoke, turning towards your curly headed boyfriend and he shook his head.

“you don’t have to thank me ma cherie. I love seeing you happy, you deserve the world and I’m going to give everything i can to you, you’ve always supported me through anything and everything, you know me so well, i just love you so much” he answered. “but- you can thank me by letting me post a bunch of pictures of you everywhere” he smiled shyly, blushing slightly. You smiled brightly at him, your love for him growing. “oh baby of course” you giggled.

The next day was just as action packed, going to multiple cathedrals and basilicas which you hadn’t gotten to the day before, and then spending time in the gardens, taking so many pictures of each other, half of them turning out blurry because the two of you couldn’t stop laughing.

He held you hand the whole time, keeping you close to him the whole time, kissing you at times and always looking at you with so much love. All over Twitter and Instagram were pictures of the two of you holding hands and laughing, many of them with one of the two of you pointing at something, many of the ones with you pointing had timothée looking at you with a smile rather than what you were showing him, it gave you butterflies.

That night you headed to the hotel early, packing everything to catch the late night flight to Rome, the last destination on the trip. The two of you packed quickly, racing to see who would finish first. This made timothée sneak up behind you and unfold your tshirts, run back to his area and rush to finish, an attempt to beat you. You were one step ahead, you had hidden his shampoo so you had no problem re folding while he ran around everywhere.

“I’m done!” You announced proudly, smiling at your boyfriend and he rolled his eyes, a pout on his face. “That’s not fair! I finished before you i just lost my shampoo” he responded, you smirked at him. “Check under your pillow” his eyes went wide and raced to get it, jaw dropping when he found it. “y/n i swear one day im gonna beat you at these competitions” he huffed, pushing you playfully and you shoved him back laughing.

The two of you cuddled the whole time in the airport, attached to the hip, and napping until your flight boarded, where the two of you also slept the whole time. When you finally arrived in Rome, you both headed to the hotel, knocking out there too, excited for the next two days in Rome before returning home. The two of you only had two cameras left, it filled you with excitement to get the photos developed, knowing you would have so many pictures of him to post and an endless amount of wallapapers.

When the two of you awoke the next morning you headed out quickly, excited to spend yet another day together.

“timothée oh my god look at that dog! Do you think he speaks Italian?” You questioned, smiling at the small dog that walked past the two of you. “I’m sure he does my angel” he replied, laughing. Pulling you along the busy street, putting his arm around your waist.

The two of you marveled at the colosseum, mind running wild at the thought of people using it. “You think they ever had a concert in there?” You asked your boyfriend who giggled, “im not so sure they did my angel” you thought about someone using it today. “What if someone tried to have on in there today” you smiled and timothée quickly replied, “as soon as the speakers start blasting everything would just crumble” you laughed at the thought of someone wanting to have fun only to ruin one of the most iconic pieces of history.

The two of you walked along the streets, holding hands and swinging them back and forth, debating where to go next. “How about the pantheon?” You suggested and he nodded with a smile, “you read my mind darling.”

The two of you got there surprisingly quickly and sat down for a second, both of your guys’ feet hurting. You put your head on timmys shoulder, closing your eyes for a second, you could hear everyone talking, the sound of cars and the wind. “Are you tired mon amour?” Timothée asked, not wanting to tire you out so much, he wanted you excited and happy not tired.

“just a bit, but I’m sure it’ll leave as soon as we see the Vatican” you spoke, a smile forming on your face as you opened your eyes and looked at the brunette next to you. He kissed your cheek, getting up and extending a hand to help you up. “Let’s go see what all those shops we passed have had to offer later yeah?” He grinned and you nodded, stretching a little before falling into step with him.

The two of you arrived at the Vatican and you swear you had never felt more in awe than staring at everything inside, everything was so adorned and beautiful, even the pillars on the outside when the two of you were waiting (only for like 5 minutes) made you smile in amazement. Timothée and you kept pointing out everything, a smile on both of your faces. Both of your cheeks hurt from smiling so much but neither of you complained, too happy to care.

After the two of you walked around for a bit more you left and entered the busy streets of Rome once again, taking pictures of each other all the time and stopping to look at anything and everything. “Let’s go get something to eat” you suggested. “Oh yeah I’m starving after all that walking” he replied, pulling out his phone to find a nice place to get food.

Soon enough he found a nice spot and the two of you arrived there quickly, excited to eat. After ordering and eating the two of you sat in comfortable silence, taking the time to wind down before going back out. “can we go to the Trevi Fountain? I brought coins for us to throw in” you asked and timothée wanted to kiss you all over and hug you and never let you go because god you were so fucking cute.

“of course we can go mon amour, are you ready to go right now?” He asked and you nodded, he paid quickly before taking his hand in yours, the two of you walking slower than before, you were leaning on him slightly, he was talking about some story that had happened to him in high school. You don’t remember exactly how the story had come up but you were grateful that it had.

As the two of you continued walking hand in hand and smiling at the sights you realized that no one had disturbed the two of you this whole trip which was very surprising, but you were grateful that his fans were respectful of the two of you. “okay i told you am embarrassing story of me in high school you tell me one” he pushed and you groaned, stealing the water bottle from his hands and gulping down the drink.

“i wasn’t really embarrassing in high school, i had like five friends and we always looked out for one another, middle school i was the biggest emo alive” you shuddered thinking back to all the diary entries you had made. “I remember i wrote this one poem that was so cringe and i thought it was the best thing ever written” you cringed at the memory and he bursted our laughing, leaning into you as he did so.

“Do you still have said diary?” He questioned, a mischievous smile forming on his face, “back at my parents house yeah” you replied, narrowing your eyes at him, “but you will never lay your eyes on a single one of those pages Hal” you sternly replied, smiling as he rolled his eyes and pulled you closer to him, putting his arm around you. “We’ll see about that one” he smiled.

“oh my god! Timmy there it is!” You shrieked, energy suddenly overflowing as you ran, pulling timothee with you causing him to almost trip over his feet. You pushed through the crowd, saying excuse me and sorrys until you got the the front of the fountain. Timothée arrived a couple seconds after you, out of breath and amazed at how fast you had ran.

“ma cherie you need to slow down” he spoke, leaning over to catch him breath. You stared at the fountain in awe, a smile sprawled across you face, taking in the beauty of it all. “I can’t believe I’m really here” you whispered, timothée got up, wrapping both his arms around your waist. “Believe in my love” he smiled, kissing you on the cheek.

Suddenly you heard a crack of thunder and soon enough rain started pouring, the once crowded area was now close to empty as everyone ran for shelter, you and timothée didn’t budge, mainly because you didn’t even flinch and refused to move.

you turned to timothée, hair sticking to both of your foreheads a wild smile on your face as you dig into your pocket, looking for the coins you had brought. Quickly you handed one to timothée. “Ready?” You smiled and he nodded. “Okay, 1, 2, 3!” You shouted, the coins flipping into the water at the same time. Turning to timothée you found him smiling at you and you laughed.

“When in Rome” you said before bunching his shirt into your fist and pulling him into a kiss, you eyes shutting as rain fell around the two of you. The kiss was what you imagined the movie ones were like, passionate and loving. You smiled into the kiss before you opened your eyes and pulled away.

“you drive me crazy y/n” he whispered, a giant smile on his face as you wiped away the water from your eyes and pushed the hair out of your face. “Should we get out of the rain?” You giggled and he nodded, “probably, we don’t wanna get sick” he joked and you punched him. “Don’t fucking jinx it!” You yelled, running to the nearest shelter you could find, which so happened to be a tourist shop.

Shopping with timothée was always fun, shopping with timothée in another country was another level. He wanted to buy you everything you looked at, he would buy you at $50 shirt if you really wanted it. The two of you were dripping wet and needed to buy new clothes or else you would definitely get sick. You ended up wearing tacky tourist shirts, getting matching ones of course and buying souvenirs for everyone back home as well as a few things to decorate and to keep for yourselves.

Considering how hard it was pouring and the fact that the two of you now had wet socks you decide to call it a day and go back to the hotel room, not wanting to get sick considering tomorrow was the last day. You were glad that it was already 5 pm, you wouldn’t have missed that much that you had planned and you could easilh get to them tomorrow.

You guys quickly got into a car and made your way back to the hotel, opting on showering together. As the two of you stepped in you let out a sigh at the feeling of the warm water. You let the water rinse the two of you off before shutting it off and getting timothées shampoo, telling him to turn around so you could wash his hair.

“thank you for this whole trip baby, it’s really been a dream come true” you spoke, massaging the shampoo into his hair. “Im sorry that it rained sweetheart, i really wanted us to be able to do everything because this was supposed to be perfect and-” you frowned at him despite his back being to you. “Timothée you can’t control the weather! And even then this trip is already perfect because I’m here with you. I’m in Italy with the love of my life dammit, ive drank so much good wine and eaten even more good food! We haven’t gotten this much time alone in god knows how long, you’ve literally had a chauffeur in every city so that we didn’t have to worry about parking and you made us an itinerary! Everything about this trip has been perfect, even the hiccups in the road.” You stated, smiling at the memories the two of you had already made.

You turned the water back on to rinse the shampoo out of his hair and he smiled at you, kissing you on the forehead. “And plus, i finally got my kiss in the rain AND it was infront of the trevi fountain, how am i supposed to complain again ever?” You smiled up at him, he laughed and quickly closed his eyes as shampoo rinsed from his hair. He grabbed your shampoo and began to wash your hair, you relaxed at his touch and closed your eyes.

“I love you so much angel, you don’t even understand” he whispered, you hummed in response. He gave you a soft kiss to your neck, giving you goosebumps.

Soon enough you guys hopped out of the shower, warm and clean and changed into some pijamas, snuggling into bed and looking out of the giant window next to you. Between the sound of the rain hitting the window and timothées soft breathing, you quickly dozed off, not caring that it was only 6:30 pm and you’d probably wake up at 2 am with an insane amount of energy. Timothée asked you something,confused as to why you weren’t replying until he looked at you, a bashful smile on his face when he saw you sleeping.

“you know i love you so much, you mean the world to me mon amour, there isn’t anything i wouldn’t do for you” he whispered, brushing your hair lightly to get it out of your face. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, turning the lights off in the room before closing his eyes and drifting off the sleep alongside you.

You ended up not even waking up throughout the night, instead sleeping until early the next morning. You hadn’t realized how tired you had been until now since you were more energetic than ever, excited to get as much in on the last day.

Timothée was the one dragging you around everywhere today, determined to get through the list had made, you smiled at him as he explained everything to you, surprised at how much he knew. “When did you make this list anyway?” You asked over lunch, looking up at him after you chewed your food. “I woke up at 2am and i couldn’t sleep but i didn’t wanna wake you up so i made this list and researched everything so i can give you the full tour guide experience” he replied, a giant smile on his face as you gawked at him.

“yeah that’s it, I’m gonna marry you” you shrugged, continuing to eat as timothée blushed and kept eating. The conversation flowing easily between the two of you and a comfortable silence falling into place at times.

The day continued quickly, visiting many more sites and before you knew it your disposable camera came to an end, and 30 minutes later so did timothées as the sunset. The two of you sat down on a bench, waiting on your guys’ driver to arrive so the two of you could pack up and head home.

“i can’t believe it’s over” you smiled softly, sad that it was over but happy that it happened. “Don’t worry mon amour im sure we’ll be back soon enough” he smiled and you put your head on his shoulder. “I love you with everything I have timothée” you spoke, looking up at him from your position. He kissed your forehead gently, “i love you so much more y/n” he smiled.

The two of you once again raced to pack up, you purposefully ‘lost’ your favorite shirt and let him win, although he would always hold it against you, it didn’t matter because you would lose over and over and over again if it meant seeing the amount of joy on his face when he shouted “IM DONE” and looked over at you with an unzipped suitcase.

As the two of you were waiting at the airport gate you had to make the obligatory Instagram post, gathering pictures of the two of you together and of yourself to post, you smiled as you picked out the photos. Searching the internet to see if anyone had caught the two of you kissing in the rain in front of the fountain, which of course they had. You looked over at a napping timothée, smiling as you set the photo as your lockscreen and added it to your post, quickly you typed out your caption.

“Italian days <3”

[rocking-space-dragon]

Scorched, Episode 2 : Mob Mentality.

Heya all! Here’s the second episode of my series of stories surrounding and involving various members of the Dream SMP! Last one was pretty Angsty, so I wanted this one to be a little more optimistic! As always, if you liked it, like and reblog so more people get to read it! 2250 Words/10k Characters. Characters : Technoblade, Ranboo, Philza. A man stands, mug of warm cocoa in his hands as he looks out the window in quiet contemplation; through the glass, snow falls and adds to the already serene landscape, a blanket of white that coats the hills and valleys of the place they called home. The 'they' in question broke the serenity moments later; a towering porcine figure opening one of the heavy wooden doors of their home with a creak, shaking off the snow from their crown-adorned head and off the deep red cloak that covered their body. Beneath it shone a set of deep, purple-black armour, shining faintly from the various magical effects on it.

 Once he's satisfied that the snow is mostly gone and the warmth begins to reach his bones, he groans and rolls his shoulders - taking a moment to put away a few items while calling out a casual "Hey Phil." As he passes. Philza, for his part, hums a simple "Mmm." Of affirmation and continues his watching. It's only when he's done putting a handful of items away in the chests at the back of the room that Techno finally acknowledges the absence of conversation, turning around and resting his hands on the chest behind him as he raises an eyebrow quizzically "Hey, Phil. What're you looking at?"

 It takes a moment for Philza to respond, sipping from his mug before blinking like he's snapping out of a trance - attention turning towards Techno and gesturing for him to come over with his head "It's Ranboo. He's, uh...Been kinda bizarre, lately. Moving blocks around, disappearing into that basement of his, y'know, stuff like that." He takes another sip of his cocoa before glancing between the pig standing beside him and the figure who was sitting on the steps outside his shack. After a moment's pause, he smiles; "You should go talk to him."

 Techno's response is immediate - confusion and reluctance written across his face as he turns his attention back to Phil "Wh-me? I dunno if you're aware Phil, but I'm kinda bad with kids AND endermen. What- what makes you think I'd be of any help to him?" The man chuckles, shrugging for a moment as he adjusts the grip he's got on the mug in his hands "I dunno, but you've certainly got a soft spot for this one. Don't think I haven't seen you walking around with that Axe he gave you."

 "Phil. Phil it's purely practical - it's a good axe, Phil! I needed an axe after they took my axe! What am I supposed to do, just not use the axe?" There's no response but another quite sip as the smile on the man's face gets wider, followed by a knowing "Mmmhmm." As he continues watching.

 "Phil-"

 "Just go check on the kid before he freezes to death out there." He chuckles again, taking another sip and letting out a soft, smug sigh as the pigman rolls his eyes, opening the door and pushing out into the light snowfall. Heavy footsteps crunch through the snow as Technoblade heads through the snow outside, eyes rolling as the door closes behind him – though his expression shifts a moment later as he sees the half-enderman, sitting just outside of his house on the small dirt bank besides his farm. As he approaches, his view on the figure improves; he’s got his chin resting in his hands, eyes gazing out across the snowfield in front of him, seemingly so entranced that he doesn’t even notice the piglin approaching. It takes him clearing his throat for Ranboo to finally snap out of his trance and sit up, blinking a few times and looking up towards Techno “Oh, hello Techno! I didn’t see you there, is everything alright?” Techno takes a moment, rubbing at the back of his head and eventually sitting down in the snow beside Ranboo, looking out into the snow to avoid meeting his eyes – though making note of the fact that Ranboo seems to scoot up a little to give him space as he sits. “Uh…Well, Phil thought you were being…I mean, he figured you might be dealing with something, so I, in my infinite kindness, decided to come out and, uh…y’know. See if you were okay.”

That draws a chuckle from the hybrid, who takes a moment to return his gaze out to the snow as well before speaking “Uh…I mean, kinda? Like, physically, I’m fine, but…” he pauses, going quiet briefly, only to break it by continuing “I’ve…been hearing voices? Like I always heard voices, but recently I’ve been hearing a new one that…sounds kinda- well, not kinda, exactly like Dream, and it’s been telling me that I’ve been doing things I don’t remember, bad things and- and like, I black out sometimes and apparently I do things while I’m blacked out but finding out that I do those things only stresses me out more which makes me black out more and then when I wake up I don’t remember doing any of those things until the voice comes back again and then I get stressed again and- and I don’t know what to do about it or if I can even trust myself and-“ It all came out like a flood – everything that he’d been dealing with for the past fortnight, tumbling from his mouth, word after word – he was only aware that he was crying from the twinges of pain that he felt every time his tears ran down his cheeks and dripped onto the snow beneath him, eating away at the snowbank beneath him. What stops the tears from tumbling down his face is unexpected, to say the least, as he feels something being draped over his shoulders and reaching back, he finds the deep crimson of Techno’s cape, hands closing across the white trim. Before he can speak, he’s interrupted by the Piglin himself, gaze very deliberately averted “If you start crying while it’s this cold out, you’ll only get colder. This way, even if you’re crying, you can stay warm. It’s purely practicality – besides, I don’t need it anyway.” He chuckles, but even Ranboo can see the slight shiver that runs through him as a cold breeze blows past them. “I, uh- thanks…Techno. Sorry, I didn’t mean to kinda go on there, I guess I had a lot more on my mind than I thought! I should…really get out of this cold though, before-“ “I know how you feel.” “…What?” For the first time since sitting down, Techno turns to face the Hybrid sitting beside him – and for what’s probably the first time, Ranboo can see exhaustion behind Techno’s eyes. Techno, who he’s only ever seen at his pinnacle, suddenly seems…tired. The kind of deep, familiar exhaustion that comes from years of low sleep, from experience. The kind of exhaustion that can’t be faked.

“I don’t imagine you know when your voices started. I mean, you don’t remember much, so it’d be kinda weird if…yeah. I…I’ve always had voices, myself. They’ve been in my head ever since I can remember.” At that, Techno takes a moment, looking down at the ground beneath his feet, eyes focused on the snow that’s been building between his boots “At first, there weren’t many of them – they kinda just hung around, and they’d give suggestions and the like…but as I learned to survive, learned to fight, more of them showed up. They’d laugh at my failures, revel in my victories…for a time, I began to think of them as my friends – no matter what happened, or how rough things got, they’d always be there for me, always be there to keep me strong.” Techno pauses, lifting up a boot and crushing the mound underneath “I was wrong. What first seemed like a group who wanted nothing more than to support me, soon became demanding. The fights weren’t enough, the competitions, never enough. I had to be better, be stronger, be more for them – that’s when the chant really began to twist. At first, y’know, it’d started as a suggestion – ‘Technoblade never dies!’ like the voices were beginning to realise that it’d been a while since I last felt the sting of death. From there, it became this kind of…rallying cry. They’d call it out, ‘TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES!’ and I revelled in it! I loved the chanting, I took it in stride – I became undefeatable, this warrior of legend who never fell. Competitions, I sure lost from time to time, but…on the field of battle? I was Unmatched.” Ranboo could see Techno tense up like a coiled spring, as if ready to jump into a fighting stance at any point. By now, he’s got his hands balled into fists, continuing as if Ranboo isn’t even there “But that’s when it began to twist. I still remember it, Ranboo.” The name is all the enderman gets before Techno stands up abruptly, drawing his blade from his sheath and holding it straight out, unwavering, in one swift, practiced movement. He holds his stance for a moment before beginning to walk slowly forwards, blade twirling in his hand “I was low. The stakes were high. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears…but more than that, I could hear the voices. I knew that any movement could have meant my death, but they were…there. It wasn’t a chant of support any more, Ranboo, it was a command. ‘TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES’ they repeated, over and over and over-“ he whips the blade around, gripping the handle and pointing it towards the Half-Enderman sitting beside him, who’s hands instinctively go up to protect himself. That seems to snap the piglin out of his memories, lowering the blade and taking a seat back down beside him “Do you know what it’s like, Ranboo? To have thousands and thousands of voices telling you that you’re not allowed to die?” His eyes turn towards the blade in his hands, looking at his reflection in the polished netherite and staring down at it quietly “Sometimes…I wonder what’ll happen if I do die. I’ve done everything I can to keep the voices at bay, but…what happens when ‘Technoblade never dies’ stops being true? What will the voices say then?” The silence that washes over the two of them is palpable, a deep, intense silence that is snapped by Techno sitting up suddenly and turning to look at the Enderman once more “Oh, yeah, I was supposed to be making you feel better! Uhhh…You shouldn’t worry about that voice because…Dream is homeless and any voice that has his…voice is probably dumb and homeless as well? Because…uhhh…-“ “Techno, you’re…more than the voices in your head.” That seems to shock the Piglin. He blinks for a moment, looking up from the blade in his hands, turning to face Ranboo before he continues, shrinking back at the eye contact that Techno quickly breaks “What I mean is…You’re…you. Those voices say and do plenty, sure, but…you’re still Technoblade, right? And…I’m still Ranboo.” At that, he seems to reach some measure of understanding, turning and looking back out into the snow “And no matter what the voices say, or what they say we do, or what they make us think, we’re…still us, right?” “…Yeah. And if one of those voices happens to sound like Dream? Well you can tell it that it’s not welcome in your head – he may be homeless, but this isn’t any place to take residence!” He laughs, hearty and full, ruffling Ranboo’s hair – who smiles happily at the gesture, before they both realise what’s just happened, both quickly averting their gazes. Techno can’t help but smile though, even as he’s looking away…and meeting eyes with the shit-eating grin plastered across the face of the man watching from the windows of his house. He can feel his face heating up at the sight, standing up abruptly and clearing his throat “Well uh, I hope that helped, you’re more than your voices and everything, dream sucks, etcetera etcetera.” He sheaths the sword again, looking out across the snowfield “I uh…Hope that helped. Don’t expect me to come out here any time you hear a voice in your head though!” He smiles, turning to walk back towards the house “You’re strong enough to handle those on your own, after all. You wouldn’t be allowed to be in the presence of the GREAT TECHNOBLADE otherwise!” He laughs, drawing his blade before another chill blows through and he shivers from head to toe, quickly dashing back inside. That night, the Hybrid sleeps beneath a deep, crimson coat, and for once, his head is quiet – that familiar, ever-present voice warded, at least for now. When he awakens, there’s a mug of warm, gently steaming cocoa and a pair of green and white earmuffs sitting beside his bed, along with a note.

“I may not be as familiar with the voices as the two of you, but I can guarantee that it’ll be a lot harder to listen to them if you’ve got something warm to cover your ears. Just remember, if you ever need to listen to the voices that actually matter, the ones who actually do want what’s best for you, we’ll be here.

 -P.”

That morning, a certain Hybrid sits on his makeshift porch, cloak covering his shoulders and back, with a pair of earmuffs covering his head and a mug of warm cocoa in his hands, and thinks, just for a moment, that everything might actually turn out okay.