#it's....bad but cindy's so hot i don't care

[nerdyvocals]

Hello again! To be honest, @look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I weren't originally sure if we were going to watch Rise of Red or not, but I saw some. Interesting things on tiktok, and we decided this would be a fun excuse to get tipsy on a Saturday night (we even made themed cocktails!), and that we would have a lot of unhinged things to say. Previously, we've also watched and kept a running commentary of the first three films and the Royal Wedding short film.

That said, I know opinions on this film have been very divided, and if you're looking for high praise, you will not find it here. The movie was cute, and we had fun, but we did not have a lot of compliments, and we're still messaging each other with criticisms a week later. If you're looking for two dumbasses who give tipsy critiques (please drink responsibly) about children's movies, please, proceed under the cut!

First, an honorable mention from a few days before the watch party: Bee (after we mentioned that we both, despite not originally planning on watching Rise of Red, had avoided spoilers just in case we changed our minds): Why do I care about spoilers for an unasked-for fourth movie in a franchise I only just became interested in?

Me (reading the description): Okay, so it looks like it's Back to the Future but Disney Bee: Great! Me: Was this needed? I feel like the trilogy wrapped things up nicely

Uma: This is Auradon, the kingdom where all your favorite fairytales are true. It was formed 30 years ago when- Me: PAUSE, okay so of the few things I've seen on tiktok,

Uma: Guess who they left in charge while they're gone? Me: That seems like a bad plan Bee: I was about to say

Me: So the biggest complaint I've seen so far has been about this, where Uma says that Auradon was founded 30 years ago Bee: Right Me: I've seen people call it a plot hole because in the first movie, Mal says the kingdom was founded 20 years ago, and I don't think they ever say exactly how much time passes between any of the movies, but the reality is, and I'm gonna touch your hand when I say this, Bee: *cackling* Me: The first movie came out in 2015. It is now 2024. The first movie came out almost 10 years ago, and in fact, when you add 10 to 20, ya get 30. Bee: *still wheezing* Me: Now, I don't know if the complaints are coming from new, younger fans who just recently binged the original trilogy in preparation for this and didn't realize when the first one came out, or if they're from older fans who have lost track of time and don't want to face the math- Bee: Fuck math, man!

(Continuing from the previous conversation, after discussing character ages and determining that Uma is likely between 26-28 at this point) Bee: That's too young to be headmaster, she's a baby Me: Bee, that's fairly close to 30, that's not unreasonable. I feel ya though, I'm not an adult, I'm a baby with a drinking permit. Bee: I think I've finally surpassed baby with a drinking permit, I'm more like. Adult, reluctantly

Fairy Godmother: The queen of Hearts refused to join Auradon when we united Me: Yeah, because you would've imprisoned her???

Blonde Wonderland Guard: *appears* Me: Lucius Malfoy??? Bee: Wig Me: Starkid's A Very Potter Sequel Lucius Malfoy???

Me: Does she (Red) have a nose ring??? Bee: Oh shit, she does! Me: We finally get some edginess to character design and it's when nose rings are no longer edgy

Honorable mention: Us spending Multiple Minutes trying to figure out if Maddox was supposed to be The Mad Hatter or the son of the Mad Hatter. We ended with no answers

(About Paolo!Charming) Bee: Oh, he has only gotten hotter Me: Correct! Why does he have blue in his hair Bee: Because he's hot

Me: Imagine being this in love still after raising Chad

Cindy: We wouldn't have been able to make this great family Bee: And Chad

Cindy: *presents Chloe with the Most Hideous Shoes I have Ever Seen* Me: *chugs what's left of my drink*

Cindy: We can visit Chad at college another time Me: Chad got into college??? Bee: Nepo baby

Bee: Does anyone in this movie understand "show don't tell?" Movie: *Insert Love Ain't It, aka Exposition: the Song* Me: Nope!

Cindy and the Queen of Hearts: *share a look* Me: Ex-lovers Red and Chloe: *share a look* Me: Future lovers?

Me: JABBERWOCKY MENTION! Bee: Drink!

Me: Is that supposed to be Jasmine and Aladdin? Bee: I think so? Me: Why does Jasmine have a fuck-ass bob? What is it with Descendants and fuck-ass bobs???

Me: I'm going to get so drunk over this Bee: I think that's safet Me: ...Safet???

Me: Where are Harry and Gil? Bee: On their honeymoon

(During the What's My Name? reprise) Bee: ...I need to take another drink Me: Same Bee: My drink is almost gone, I'm so sad Me: Do what I did, make another Bee: I will after this dork-ass song

Uma: Do you mind? Queen: I think I do Me: *pausing* Do you want to make a second drink real quick before things get cringier? Bee: ...I think that's a good idea

Me: I think I don't hate the silhouette of the Queen of Hearts' look, but it's way too monochromatic Bee: Drink! You're right though, there's no dimension

*Wand Breaks* Me: OH SHIT Bee: You could do that this whole time???

Cindy: Stop it, Bridget, you're better than this! Me: Is she? Bee: I don't think she is

Aladdin: Look at her, she's enjoying this! Me: Yeah, she's a teenager experiencing parental affection for the first time. Y'all really learned nothing, huh? Bee: You'd think after ten years they'd get their shit together

(As Cinderella is being led away) Bee: I love her poofs Me: God, me too, I love puff sleeves Bee: We are both just Anne Shirley

Fairy Godmother: *is young* Me. She looks so much like Jane Bee: For a second there, I thought that just straight up was Jane Me: Brilliant casting

Me: Why are their clothes so modern if this is supposed to be over thirty years ago

Me: This princess insult doesn't work if you're both princesses

Red and Chloe: *forehead touch* Me: Gay Bee: Kiss

(After Fight of Our Lives) Bee: I feel like this didn't need to be a song Me: We could've just had a homoerotic sword fight à la The Princess Bride

Me: Ahhh, that's why everyone is dressed so modern, so they can blend in without a costume change! That's so lazy!

Bee: He (Merlin) pulls a lit Molotov cocktail from his bag

(Alchemy Class) Bee: ...The hap is fuckening

Red: *eats a cupcake* Bee: These falsies are really gonna help me do alchemy!!!

Bridget: It's Jasmine and Aladdin! J&A: Call us Jaladdin! Me: I will not be doing that Bee: *choking* WHAT THE FUCK

Morgie: Son of Morgana! Me: See, Morgana has a kid already, but gee, why wouldn't Disney want children Googling Mordred? Bee: Hehehe

Uliana: TELL BRIDGET I WILL DESTROY HER Me: See, girl, she did warn you Bee: Why are Jaladdin going with?

Ella: Will you go to castlecoming with me? Me: OH Bee: GAY Me: So it wasn't a prank that turned her evil, it was that her girlfriend ditched her for a boy, Us, simultaneously: IT'S GIVING GOOD LUCK BABE

(In the Tremaine Manor) Me: Oooh, this kid is about to learn what parental abuse is

Bee: I need them to try and fix it and then have to go back again because they accidentally turn Cinderella evil Me: That's what the fifth movie is about, actually

Uliana's Hideout: *emerging from the water* Me: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT Bee: "Can-I-Have-A-Cigarette" lookin' ass Me: *WHEEZE*

(During Perfect Revenge) Bee: Kenny Ortega, I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you when I had you

(It was at this point, when Uliana was hanging by her tentacles, that Bee's husband entered to check on us) [Husband]: ...What in the Doc Ock

Me: Ooooh, that last sip hit, I think I've made it to drunk Bee: Oh boy! Me: I'm so glad I don;t have to be anywhere tomorrow Bee: Drink some water Me: Water is for weaklings! Bee: I don't get hangovers anymore because I hydrate while I drink Me: I don't get hangovers because I'm 22 Bee: Suck my dick, Levi Me: I don't think [Husband] would appreciate that Bee: [HUSBAND], CAN LEVI SUCK MY DICK?! [Husband], distantly: I don't know how to respond to that??? Me: *falling off the couch crying laughing*

Bridget: *talking about her Shuffle of Love dance* Me: If not going on date, why worried about love, I am drunk Bee: No, you're correct

Bridget: If I was your mom, I'd love to have a daughter that thinks for herself Me: BOY WOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO GET HIT IN THE MOMMY ISSUES

Bee: Oh, pretty boy (Paolo!Charming) is back! Also I stood up and I too am now drunk

(After some line about valiant knights being always good) Me: Have you heard of Lancelot? Bee: I was about to say

(During the Hands Dirty sequence) Me: This is a song from a better movie Bee: Not again

Bee: I simply do not believe that Cinderella would let her daughter grow up that dumb as hell. I do, however, believe that Prince Charming would let his daughter grow up that dumb as hell Me: have you met Chad? Bee: That's fair, actually. Chad's adopted Me: Who's goddamn white baby is that? Bee: Who's goddamn white baby is that!

Me: Pause! So here, funnily enough, is a perfect example of what my mentor calls "Disney Patches:"

Bee: Drink! Me: So what they're trying to do here is show that Ella has to wear her clothes to the bone and patches them herself. When you add patches to garments to make them look like they've been repaired, you need to make sure the placement makes sense, as in think about where clothes would likely wear to holes: for pants, that's gonna be mainly knees and inner thigh. Disney has a habit of just putting patches wherever in places they just wouldn't be, like here. Why does she have patches in random places on her leg? Bee: Ohhh Me: In some cases in can be a stylistic choice, but I would argue that Ella wouldn't be the type to waste that much fabric for no reason. I can forgive the pockets though, I've had pants that got holes in the pockets, and sometimes it's easier to replace them than to patch

(A shot of Headmaster Merlin's Door) Bee: Hmmm, Merlin Me: ...Headmaster Merlin Bee: hmmmmmmmm, Merlin

Bee, completely deadpan: Hoot hoot, motherfuckers

Me: The Night Falls scene fell flat on its face so this scene could feebly crawl

Me: It has only just occurred to me that Chloe's shoes were supposed to be glass this whole time, I thought they were just fucky Doc Martens Bee: Yeah! Put the uh. The ug. Put the ugly in uggs Me: I think you need to drink more water Bee: I think you're right

Me: They're red and blue gays Bee: They're red and blue gays!

Me: Fuck whatever this movie is supposed to be about, I need them to kiss

Bee: Obsessed with his (Merlin's) coat, costume department popped the fuck off with that Me: That's my line Bee: Drink bitch!

Me: Wait, is that the end? Bee: It can't be, there's no way that worked Me: There's only ten minutes left???

Uma: You didn't think that was the end of the story, did you? Me: FUCK OFF

Bee: I am deadass on Reddit Me: *dying* Bee: Trying to figure out what the fuck

Bee: Where was the climax??? Was it supposed to be that thing in Merlin's office? Me: It can't have been Bee: If it was it fell so flat. I feel like I've sobered up watching that

[rappaccini]

.... gonna open my big mouth about gwenjay after all

my hot take is that gwen and em jay need to get together and then they need to break up. gwenjay aren't soulmates, aren't even that good of a couple, and they should never end up together because it'd be bad for the story and bad for the spider-gwen brand.

so. the case for gwenjay.

in-universe: this shit's been built up for ten years.

em jay's had a crush on gwen since the latour run, gwen reciprocating her feelings has been built up since mcguire, every single writer on gwen's minis and ongoings has watered those seeds, and we're at the point where we just need to fucking do it already.

this particular relationship needs to have closure. and not just "i don't have feelings for you em jay," closure-- they need to become a fucking couple and be together for a while or gwen's story is going to feel weird and incomplete and this part of it will come off like it was only ever queerbait. the only way to make ten years of crumbs worth it is if they go all the way there, at least for a few issues.

out-of-universe: it's the most efficient way to fix the issues with gwen's character: she needs to go back to earth-65, she needs to come out of the closet, and she needs to get out of the gwiles danger zone.

em jay is a character from earth-65, who can only live on earth-65 because no world needs two mjs.

if gwen's going to date her, she has to go home and stay home.

and if she's on earth-65, she can't be on miles's world.

em jay is a queer woman.

getting together with her would confirm gwen's bisexuality

it would give gwen her first canon relationship with another woman.

which means editorial can't sweep her bisexuality under the rug like they often do with other bi women who get quick confirmations of their queerness.

and there's literally one more conversation of buildup needed with gwen and em jay before they could get together.

dating literally any woman could accomplish this, but em jay is the best candidate we have so far, and this is the fastest route to get there.

marvel's scared of letting gwen out of the closet, because they think they'll lose money. since even people who don't care about spider-gwen have wanted to see some version of gwen and mj kiss for decades... this is the most commercial queer ship gwen has. it's the best shot we have for now at making this happen.

(unless cindy moon bursts in with a steel chair or some shit)

it's also diet harlivy: a redheaded white woman and a blonde white woman who are longtime friends with a toxic attraction. and since harlivy going canon became a well of money for dc... marvel might be more persuadable on letting gwen out of the closet if em jay's used to do it, because the dynamic has already been tested by someone else, and it was already a success.

em jay can dig us out of the gwiles pit.

people have wanted some version of gwen and mj to get together for years. it's the second-most popular ship in spider-gwen's fandom, after gwiles. and since marvel chases money... it's the only ship of gwen's that can rival miles in terms of the cash they can make off it.

and it's a big enough ship that breaking them up for gwiles might be too intimidating to even attempt.

since it's a queer ship, and even if it does happen... the gwiles well is poisoned forever.

marvel probably won't hesitate to break up gwen and a guy for gwiles, but gwen and a girl? that's bad publicity. and it fucks up miles's brand.

like, congratulations: miles morales just broke up one of the most anticipated sapphic ships in marvel comics and forced one of the girls back into the closet so he can date her. (and hell, he might have even broken up with his own girlfriend to do that.) wow, what a hero. what an ally.

it's indefensible. the writers and the fandom can't explain that mess away.

the miles character assassination alone would incite a backlash that would probably end in gwiles being broken up and miles having to go on an apology tour.

the fallout would make gwiles too fraught to return to for years, if ever. they might not even be able to interact at all, even as friends, for years. it would be cindy/peter-bad.

again. technically, any f/f ship with gwen could do this. but gwenjay's the one that's got the most resistance to gwiles, and it'll make the biggest implosion if miles breaks it up.

gwen and em jay need to get together. it's overdue, it's a fast way to get gwen the development she needs, or reinforce it if she gets it with someone else first (which also works!), and it can protect her from the biggest threats to her character for the forseeable future. we used gwiles to escape petergwen 2.0. now we need to use gwenjay to escape gwiles.

but in the long run... they can't stay together.

in-universe: gwen and em jay aren't even that good of a couple.

the idea of gwen and mj, spider-man's two biggest girlfriends, ditching him to get together? is great. people want it bad for a reason.

but the execution of this particular gwen and this particular em jay?

look, they're not great. at this point it's a toxic dynamic where em jay constantly bullies gwen, and gwen has to fawn after her to stay in the band. it's only gotten worse as they've gotten more overtly queer, to the point where if they get together right now, it would be a borderline-abusive relationship.

yes, em jay says she's taking accountability for her toxicity and wants to work on her problems alone before she and gwen go any further.... but will she? or will that be forgotten the next time we see her (... if we ever do)? will we be right back to the same toxic dynamic?

even if things do improve and stay that way... em jay spent years being mean to gwen and unsympathetic towards her ghost-spider problems. her symbiote only wakes up when she wants to punish gwen for being her own person. she hates gwen's superhero self. we can't sweep that under the rug. it has to be addressed.

if we don't, and skip right to them being happy healthy girlfriends, the dynamic's going to feel hollow.

gwen and em jay truly are diet harlivy. right down to the dynamic being not that healthy, and their fandom refusing to acknowledge that toxicity and demanding only sugary sapphic stories where their relationship is effortless.

so there's real danger of them going full harlivy too: going canon, but being stuck together at all times, unable to do anything without people demanding they be joined at the hip, unable to discuss their relationship as anything other than Pure and Perfect.

and that's where it starts harming gwen's arc instead of helping it. gwen's story is about self-determination and finding agency. yes, it's about her escaping patriarchy and the male gaze, but women can abuse these power structures too, and they don't get a free pass for bad behavior just because they're female or sapphic.

in general, there's a white feminism problem with gwen stacy, spider-gwen or otherwise. the latour run worked it into spider-gwen's origin story and fixed it by making it a character flaw she grows out of, but ever since spiderverse synergy started, it's been creeping back in. and excusing toxic behavior in a white sapphic ship because ~they're queer women~ is part of that.

so if gwen escapes the male gaze only to end up in a toxic relationship with a woman... she hasn't actually made that much progress. a girlfriend who hits and tries to control you is a step up from a boyfriend who gets you killed or turns you into his babymaker, but gwen can and should absolutely do better.

... and even if the toxicity is addressed, unpacked and solved, these other issues are going to remain:

in and out-of-universe, the glory grant thing

yes, em jay's been in love with gwen for years. but she already has a girlfriend. and dumping glory for gwen is a dick move, especially when you consider that glory and em jay's dynamic is far healthier than gwen and em jay's ever was. leaving glory for gwen is a downgrade.

putting aside that it's shitty and so out-of-character of gwen to take her friend's girlfriend, it's also disappointing that gwen's crush on glory and preference towards glory as her closest friend within the band has been lost since the latour run; the original configuration of the love triangle was em jay-> gwen-> glory-> em jay. now as of the mcguire run, it looks like it's glory -> em jay <--> gwen.

which, hey, gwenjay happened. but it's also shoving glory out of the picture in a way that doesn't sit right. like, why couldn't glory have been the one at the center of the love triangle instead?

look: it does not feel like a coincidence that everyone after latour ignored that glorygwen subtext and went straight for the white sapphic ship instead. it's another angle to the white feminism problem: centering gwen's relationships with other white women at the cost of women of color.

at this point it's an established pattern for spider-gwen's writers and especially her fandom to take a black girl's love interest away from her to shove that love interest into an aesthetically pretty but ultimately hollow and unhealthy relationship with gwen. it happened with glory for gwenjay, it happened with tiana, margo and hailey for gwiles. it has to stop.

and it's not going to if gwen and em jay stay together. if anything, them ending up together implies that screwing over glory was worth it.

out-of-universe: it's not unique enough.

i get it. pulling a korrasami on gwen and mj's a great idea and it does need to happen at some point.

... but it's still not original enough to justify them ending up together.

we need to ditch the idea that ~every spider has an mj~. it undoes the specialness of mj and peter's relationship by turning the general understanding of mj into a spider-groupie who only loves her significant other for their spider-powers, and not for their actual personality. mj deserves better than that.

it also invalidates gwen's own uniqueness. she is not peter parker. she should not end up with peter parker's girlfriend. and gwen-65 is not gwen-616. she should not exclusively date and befriend gwen-616's friend group and love interests. she deserves new relationships with people gwen-616 never met and new dynamics with people gwen-616 never would have loved.

it's not possible for em jay watson to ever be that person, and no amount of good writing can ever fix it.

out-of-universe: no one can tell mj and em jay apart.

think about it. em jay watson and mj watson. their names sound the same when you say them out loud, and the spelling differences aren't even consistent.

and in the comics, they're both white redheads with the exact same design so even looking at them, you can't tell them apart. (other media might racebend em jay, but in the comics, it's already too late to do that.)

casual comics readers won't look at gwen and em jay and think 'wow gwen and the em jay from her world are a couple.' they'll assume gwen's dating mj, peter-616's ex-wife. that's not gonna go over well, and it'll just confuse people in the long run.

out-of-universe: it's unadaptable

adaptations are massively influential on the comics they draw from. it's why gwen's being sent to 616, deaged to a teenager and kept ambiguously straight-- for spiderverse synergy. more people play video games, watch cartoons and see movies than read comics, so gwen's adaptations are ultimately more influential than her source material. people will remember the adaptation, and the comics will be expected to appeal to the adaptation's audience.

spider-gwen isn't just a story, it's a brand. and you have to keep in mind how story developments will affect that brand. romances are included: the ones that stick around will be the ones that are easy to adapt.

and the thing about gwenjay is that this ship can only be canon in the comics. because any time spider-gwen's adapted somewhere else, gwenjay can't be adapted with it.

odds are, gwen will only appear in spiderverse-like stories with a peter-parker-spider-man already in them. she'll either be in an alternate universe where multiple spider-people exist in one world, or a temporary visitor from her own dimension.

two options here:

a) gwen has her own separate supporting cast, like marvel action.

having multiples of the same character would be impossible if they're in the same continuity.

having multiples in different worlds would still get too confusing (unless we barely glimpse those characters, like in atsv.)

so if gwen's supporting cast is getting any screentime, they won't double up. and since peter is higher up the totem pole than gwen, he's going to absorb the shared members of their supporting cast who are the most important to him.

so his best friend and love interest, harry and mj, will be automatically assigned to peter parker instead of her.

therefore gwen must have replacements slotted into their roles. who those replacements are, we don't know yet, because gwen hasn't expanded her comics' core supporting cast beyond her high school friend group.

here's one example that works: marvel action gwen's glory grant replaces mj in the role of "gwen's belligerent best friend who's on her ass about missing band practice" -- because mj is going to midtown high with peter, instead of standard prep with gwen.

and another: marvel rising gwen's origin story is still triggered by the death of her male best friend. but in this world, it's some guy named kevin, because it being "peter parker" would confuse the audience.

b) gwen's a member of peter's supporting cast, like marvel's spider-man. same friend group, now with a spider-gwen instead of a normal gwen. she might keep her friendships with harry and mj, but peter will still come first.

regardless, because peter is and always will be the more popular character, and mj is his default love interest... any time peter and gwen are in the same story, mj will always end up with peter. you know it. they're not gonna korrasami that shit. they're not gonna reverse korrasami that shit. they just won't do it at all.

and since mj will always end up with peter... if gwen's Main Love Interest can't follow her to any other media, there's now a gap to fill with someone else.

in theory that person should be harry, at least at this point; nobody's going to object to peter's best friend dating gwen and it's worked before in marvel action-- but for the forseeable future, it's gonna be miles because he dated her in the spiderverse movies and people like him better than harry.

and odds are em jay will eventually be replaced by that different love interest in the comics anyway because more people will have been exposed to the adaptation, will come in expecting that relationship, and comics love synergy.

it's better to anticipate that problem and fix it ahead of time by making gwen's default romance be someone who isn't em jay. that way when spider-gwen's adapted into other media, she can bring her romance with her, won't lose all her supporting cast to peter and won't get backdoored into being miles's girlfriend.

so.

in the short term, em jay's exactly what gwen needs. but in the long run gwenjay doesn't let gwen reach her full potential as a character, reinforces some unfortunate implications about her that need to be left behind and leaves gwen vulnerable to being sucked right back into the spider-man's girlfriend pit.

which is why, in the long run, gwen has to move on from em jay.

[opalimagines]

Request: may i request for F! reader x Cindy? reader is a electrician / handywoman for hire (since probably no one actually takes care of her home she needs someone to come and help), cindy takes a liking to her and keeps trying to get R to come back R likes the attention but is uncertain about doing anything about it because she’s not sure if cindy is just being nice

Character: Cindy Burman (Shiv)

Requested by anonymous

Warning: kissing (it takes place in the future so everyone is older)

Reader: Neutral

When Cindy's older and has started fresh in a new city as a member of the JSA, she ends up finally selling the old Burman house and buying a new place. Her house in Blue Valley has too many bad memories and she wants to be done with all of it.

Everything's fine at first, because Cindy would buy nothing less than the best for herself, but eventually that changes. Her new house starts having annoying electrical problems, so she finally breaks down and looks for a handy person. There are many more than in Blue Valley so she contacts the first one she can find.

All of the contact was through messages, so she expects some old man to show up, and possibly a creepy one, but she could handle that easily. When she opens the door though, she sees someone who is not only her age, but also very attractive. She's thrown for a split second as you smile and introduce yourself.

Cindy planned to ignore the electrician while they worked, but now she's inclined to observe. You assume she's making sure you get the work done or something similar, not that she's checking you out. You're kind of nervous because Cindy's obviously gorgeous and intimidating, and she thinks it looks adorable on you.

Once her issue is taken care of and you go to leave, you tell her "If you have anything else that needs fixing, feel free to give me a call. I do more than just electrical work. I guess you could say I'm a jack of all trades."

"I'll keep that in mind," she tells you with a smirk and, to her own surprise, she thanks you for fixing her problem.

A few days later, she finally decides to find something else wrong with her place. It proves difficult, but she eventually just shoves a couple of things down her kitchen sink and calls you up. You show up that very same day with a fix and genuinely wonder how those random things ended up in her sink.

Cindy keeps creating issues and soon starts just making them up to get you to come over. Of course she has the confidence to ask you out, but it's become almost a game of her seeing how long it will take for you to realize she's interested. But the problem is, you've seen how she has no pictures of family or friends around, so you think she's only looking for some friendly company and that's why she's giving you the time of day.

So whenever she tries to get you to take a break and sit down with her, you indulge her. Not just because you find her beautiful, but because you've come to like her and believe that she only wants to socialize. Assuming she's merely being nice to you, you don't entertain the idea of anything more than that.

One day, Cindy ends up pushing you up against the wall, and as your cheeks burn hot, she tells you that she's tired of waiting and "I know you want me too"

"Uh, I-I thought you just wanted a friend..."

Cindy bursts out laughing, and she tells you you're adorable, then she finally goes in for a kiss as she continues keeping you pressed against the wall.

After that, Cindy no longer has to make up reasons to get you over to her place.

[yegarts]

“I am YEG Arts” Series: Cindy Baker

Things I’ve Forgotten, performance at Southern Alberta Art Gallery 2018, photo by Jane Edmundson

Cindy Baker: a contemporary artist with an interdisciplinary research-intensive practice, working at the forefront of queer, gender, race, disability, fat and art discourses. From early on as a performance artist with what she describes as a “taboo body,” body politics and fat liberation have been integral to her artistic practice. Cindy’s next project not only pairs exceedingly well with some of her most-oft visited themes, it will also exercise her well-honed research chops. The Edmonton-based artist was recently recommended for the Coronation Recreation Centre public art project. Currently under construction, the Coronation Recreation Centre will serve as a community hub for central-north Edmonton that meets the leisure, health and wellness needs of residents of all ages. For the project, Cindy will create site-specific freestanding sculpture(s) for the facility’s large exterior entrance plaza.

This week for the blog, we talked with artist Cindy Baker about her initial plans for her new public art commission and got the scoop on her solo show currently on at dc3 Arts Projects.

Tell us about yourself and your connection to Edmonton.

I'm a queer, fat, disabled, contemporary, interdisciplinary and performance artist based here in Edmonton. I was born and raised in Leduc, and I moved to Edmonton in the 90s to go to school at the University of Alberta, where I got a Bachelor of Fine Arts. And I worked at the Fine Arts Building Gallery, the Works Art & Design Festival, Latitude 53 Gallery, Harcourt House Artist Run Centre, and Metro Cinema. So, I was deeply involved in the arts community before I decided it was time to move away. I was away for several years but Edmonton's home to my family, my support system, all my networks of people, my communities, and I just couldn't stay away.

States of Resolution, performance at Edmonton private residence 2021, photo by Grace Lee

How did you get your start as an artist? Was it always plan A for you?

My parents were both teachers, so I always thought that I had to grow up to be a teacher too, but I always really wanted to be an artist. My mom's sister was an artist and I just idolized her and everything she did. And I was always drawing, painting, sewing, sculpting, crafting — doing crafts and art of all kinds. I never had a preferred medium, but I was just always making and working with my hands, so I always knew that no matter what I did for a living, I was always going to be an artist. I don't think I ever expected to make a living at art, but there is no way that I wasn't going to make art throughout my life.

Is there a narrative or discourse you find yourself returning to in your work?

I have a few major themes running through my work. To start with, the body, especially fat bodies and othered bodies are a major theme in my work. As a performance artist with a fat body and — what I call a taboo body — I knew it was always going to be read into the content of my work, so very early on in my career I made a point to become involved in body politics and fat liberation, to really inform the work and enrich the content. Productivity is another theme running through my work, questioning and resisting the moral imperatives of body, health and self-care that imply there are good bodies and bad bodies. That to strive towards being a good little productive cog in the wheel is a moral good. Therefore those who can't, or who fail to be this really strident definition of productive from our work lives to how we enact self-care, are inferior humans and less worthy of care or social support. So that's one of the major themes I think that has run through my work in the last decade.

And there are a lot of beds in my art and not on purpose, that's just kind of how it goes, beds and relaxation and toys and leisure activities like hot tubs and tricycles and swimming pools. I just keep coming back to rest and that idea of resisting productivity in the name of privileging and honouring the body's needs and care for one another being just as important as self-care.

Dream Come True, installation at Remai Modern 2020

These are subjects that have become very topical in recent years, have you noticed a difference in the reception to your work?

I think my work used to be a bit ahead of the curve and now I think it's very sort of right in what's being talked about in the world right now, especially to do with self-care and these neoliberal impulses towards productivity. And the world falling apart has us all questioning what we should be doing with our lives and our time. I think, especially since the pandemic started, we've all been rethinking what it is that we want to do with our time and our lives.

Tell us about the Coronation Recreation Centre public art commission that you've recently been awarded. What drew you to the project?

I'm really excited about it. I think the fact that the work will be connected to a leisure centre, which is also paradoxically basically a triathlon training facility, meshes so well with the themes I come back to again and again in my work. There's nothing leisurely about athletic training. It's work, and it should be valued as work, even if it's not the productive kind of capitalist labour that we've been taught to value. And on the flip side, I want to talk about leisure in a way that disconnects it from any need to perform, to perform work especially. I want to honor those who train and who engage in leisure activities as well, and those who can't or don't or won't, for any number of really valid reasons connected to bodies and time and desire and priorities and ability. Whether that's a body ability, financial ability, or what have you.

Is this your first foray into public art? Tell us about how it overlaps or differs from your overall art practice. 

It's not exactly my first foray into public art, considering that my performance practice is often interventive and happens in public spaces, and is meant to be encountered by and engaged with by a general public. But it's definitely my first permanent public sculpture project. I don't consider myself a sculptor in the traditional sense, but I do make a lot of objects. And in my object making practice, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to stop making big things that really have a presence. So, I do feel like this project is a natural extension of my practice and hopefully a new direction for my practice to grow into.

The Three Graces, performance with Mary-Anne McTrowe and Shanell Papp at MacEwan University 2021

Tell us about your interdisciplinary research-based approach. Will it be an important part of your creative process for this commission?

Yeah, I don't think any other project that I've done has put my research chops to the test as much as this one will. It'll be a really integral part of the creative process for this project. In research-creation practices in general, the research exists as much in the making as in engaging in traditional research methods. Which for me, and for this project specifically, means that all the making I've done in my practice to date exists as a body of research that's led me to this commission and will really inform and shape the work, and then in turn, the making of this work is its own research that will lead me to my next projects; be they new artworks, journal publications, conference presentations or incorporation into my university teachings. They're all one big whole in my work.

As you're working on this commission is it spurring on new ideas or potential new directions that you'll take from here in your practice?

As I develop the ideas for this project, I can see the threads coming out of other work that I've done. I don't think that that's unique, I think most artists have common threads that run through the work. But it's really interesting as I've grown and progressed in my career. It used to be that things felt very individual and from one project to the next, I didn't necessarily see those threads, but now I really see them throughout all the work.

What does community mean to you and where do you find it? What will your community engagement approach be for this public art project? 

Community for me is family, whether that's blood family or chosen family, social networks and support systems. Community is my stomping grounds, workplaces, and favorite haunts. So, I find community where I find my people and that's for me, artists, fat community, queer community, thinkers and lovers of culture. For this project, more than talking to geographic community, I want to consult with people and organizations that are attached to communities that are traditionally underserved by public art projects and by recreation centres too; people with reduced access to financial resources, people who feel disconnected from that kind of facility, queer people and disabled people, people with mental health concerns. All those whose various demographics put them into the categories of those who don't fit those definitions of moral good, as defined by their abilities or their bodies or their productivity.

Tell us about your current solo exhibit at dc3 Art Projects.

The show is called Things I've Forgotten, and it's part of an ongoing work about my dreams. I spent about 10 years collecting a journal of my dreams. I would wake up every morning and write down my dream from the night before, and then never look back on it again. After 10 years I decided to start rereading my dreams and I was fascinated by the fact that they were so old and had long been forgotten because even though I wrote them down, I would forget about them shortly afterwards, like I think most of us do. I would read these dreams and they would be completely new to me and were completely foreign. So, I got to experience them for the first time, but then slowly the memory of the dream came back to me, and I could see all the images vividly and hear the sounds and smell the smells. It was as though the dreams had really happened and I was remembering them as a memory and at the same time I was kind of going through having heard stories about this trauma that happened when I was a kid but not remembering it, and I thought what if by reliving these dreams and pulling them to the surface what if I could bring this trauma to the surface as well? So, it sounds a bit like it was meant to be therapeutic, but I'm an artist and nothing is quite so literal, so I went about this project of working with my dreams to try and change myself as a person and see how I could be affected by this.

One of the works in the show is a collaboration by Scott Smallwood and me — he's a local audio artist — and together we recorded 20 different voice actors reciting my 10-year journal of dreams and created this really beautiful cloud of sound of all these overlapping voices, it's an 8-channel audio installation of all these overlapping voices. It's difficult to pick out any individual dream or any individual voice, but it does create this soundscape when you go in, that adds to the surrealness I think and beauty of it. It's very dreamlike.

What excites you most about the Edmonton arts scene right now?

I think Edmonton is exciting in general. I've only been back in a permanent way for a few years, but I think growth and change is what's most exciting to me. The arts scene here kind of feels like it's breathing and changing and growing and maybe that's exciting to me because I feel like I'm changing and growing too, which is exciting in its own way and makes me feel connected to Edmonton. I have to say that I love Edmonton cinema, theatre, festivals, music and dance, but my heart really belongs to visual and performance art. So, the galleries and the artists and the public art are what really grounds me to this city.

Want more YEG Arts Stories? We’ll be sharing them here and on social media using the hashtag #IamYegArts. Follow along! You can catch Cindy Baker’s exhibition Things I’ve forgotten at dc3 Art Projects. It’s on until May 13, and as part of the exhibit programming, there will be performances on April 27 at 7 pm and a closing reception on May 13 from 6 – 10 pm. Keep up with Cindy on Instagram, Facebook, or visit her website.

About Cindy Baker

Cindy Baker is a contemporary artist based in Western Canada whose work engages with queer, gender, race, disability, fat, and art discourses. Committed to ethical community engagement and critical social enquiry, Baker's interdisciplinary research-based practice draws upon 25 years working, volunteering, and organizing in the communities of which she is part. She moves fluidly between the arts, humanities, and social sciences, emphasizing the theoretical and conceptual over material concerns. Baker holds an MFA from the University of Lethbridge where she received a SSHRC grant for her research in performance in the absence of the artist's body; she has exhibited and performed across Canada and internationally. Helping found important community and advocacy organizations over the course of her career, Baker continues to maintain volunteer leadership roles across her communities.

[animefankotaro]

Trans Cindy Lou Who (Grinch, 2000)

Once upon a time in a town like yours and mine lived a group of people who were just fine. The people called the Whos loved Christmas a lot even the Grinch who formally did not. The Grinch tried to steal Christmas from the Whos he did. He stole all the gifts for which he tried to rid. He almost or so he thought but he learned Christmas does not need to be bought. So now he loved Christmas as much as the Whos no longer did he have the Christmas blues. He had little Cindy Lou Who to thank for changing his ways leading him to have much better Christmas Days. The little girl was only around six but she did a wonderful job on his heart she did fix. She was just a normal little girl like any other in town she could turn any frown upside down. But soon he would learn that Cindy Lou was not like other girls you see for there was a time in which she was once a he. For this story is about when Cindy Lou became the girl she is now so sit back as you'll learn just how.

The Grinch was helping Cindy Lou's family take down the Christmas declarations. Christmas was over which left many people sad. Though at least a new year was ahead so they were glad.

“Off you go!” The Grinch said tearing off a wreath. “You too ugly!” He said to another one. “Sorry lights but you were really running the electricity bill!”

“Be careful, Grinch!” Lou Lou Who said.

“Don't worry!” The Grinch yelled back. “I've got it all over conTROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL” The Grinch slipped off the ladder and grab the lights for support. He swung like Tarzan down we went.

“Abort Abort!” The Grinch yelled. One by one the staples holding the lights on the roof came off and the Grinch swung to a tree he was about to hit it when he said.

“”Why me.” The Grinch hit the tree and fell on the ground. When he did he made a weird Grinch sound. The Who family helped him and brushed the snow off his chest and they all agreed it was time for some rest.

“We've been out here for a while. How about we all go in for some hot cocoa.” Betty Lou Who suggested. Everyone cheered for that and they went in. Max was lying by the fireplace in the den. So they made some hot cocoa The Grinch had a marshmallow.

When Lou have it to him The Grinch called him a fine fellow. So there everyone sat Lou, Betty, Stu, Drew, Cindy, and The Grinch too who was know a true who.

“I'm happy you got to help us take the declarations down Grinch.” Cindy Lou said. “It's always sad doing to but you made it better.”

“Why thank you, Cindy. I did have to rearrange my schedule. Including yelling to the heavens at 4:00 but it was worth it. Don't be too sad Christmas will come next year.”

“ I know, it's just, Christmas is my favorite time of the year. The declarations, the snow, everyone is cheerful.”

“Except for the retail and postal workers. They're usually in a bad mood.” The Grinch cut in. Cindy laughed and rolled her eyes. Though she supposed those weren't lies.

“I love it all. It's also a very special time for me. Christmas is when I became my true self.”

“What do you mean?” The Grinch asked the young Who. But before she could answer she was called by the wife of Lou.

“Cindy. Can you help me take the declarations off the tree?” Betty asked.

“I'll see you later.” With that the girl ran off leaving the Grinch wondering what she was about to say but it didn't matter for he was still going to find out that day.

“She's a wonderful daughter isn't she?” Lou sat by the Grinch with a hint of pride he was going to tell the Grinch his daughters secret there was no reason to hide.

“I suppose helping save Christmas is considered wonderful, yes.”

“She's also very special. It's because of Christmas she is Cindy. You see Cindy was born a boy.”

“Come again.” The Grinch said.

“Cindy used to be a boy until last Christmas. We always knew she was different from our older boys or any others in town. She was just so... girly. She cried when we tried to cut her hair, caught her in Bettys clothes, and she asked for dolls by the time she was just 2. Even though she was only 5 when knew she was special.”

The Grinch was listening to the story being told wondering what else was left to untold. “Transgendered” Lou called it when someone doesn't feel the gender they were born never did the Grinch feel a word was so foreign.

“Last Christmas she wrote a letter to Santa. She told us she wanted it more than anything but wouldn't tell us. Before she mailed it Betty and I read it. It said.”

“Dear Santa I don't care for presents or candy. I just want to be a girl. I want to be Cindy. “Love, Cindy Lou Who.”

The Grinch read it over and over feeling bad for the lass. He felt bad for her having to be a boy in class.

“Betty and I were shocked at first but soon it made a lot of sense. We weren't sure if Santa could do that so we took it into our own hands. We surprised her Christmas mourning by making her our daughter. We got her dresses, her new name, and a wig to wear until hers grew out. It seems Santa also gave her dolls and other toys. She was now Cindy Lou Who. Stu and Drew helped by keeping bullies off her at school. She was now her true self. That's why she loves Christmas so much. She became the girl she was inside.”

“Wow. You learn something new everyday.” The Grinch said.

“You're not upset?”

“Lou I'm a green thingamagig that lived on a mountain and hated Christmas. I'm not the definition of normal if you haven't noticed.”

Lou laughed. He supposed the Grinch was right. He did also make an unforgettable Christmas night. Cindy ran up to her dad and kissed up on the cheek. He laughed the lovable geek. She thanked him for being a wonderful dad . He was the best one anyone ever had. She also thanked the Grinch who was no longer a crook he thought of what happened on Christmas.

“That story could make a TV special or great book.”

[royalarmyofoz]

cindy williams, shirley feeny era, i would like to kiss

[pinnochiro]

pinn reviews - final fantasy xv

a long ramble about final fantasy fifteen that sort of looks like a review, as written by someone who finished the game fifteen minutes ago and needs to get these words out of his head. spoilers inbound.

i'm a pretty big fan of video games. i don't know what my first was, but it was probably either banjo and kazooie or mario kart 64, at my cousin's house when i was very small. i think that video games as a medium are so interesting, since the fact that video games are inherently interactive changes the way that they tell any story. it's a shame that despite loving video games so much, i'm absolutely terrible at them.

i'm absolute dogshit at video games. whenever i boot up something new, i always play on easy mode because. i'm that bad. unfortunately, this means that a lot of video games are simply. impossible for me to beat. that's fine, as at the moment i live with my good friend lizz, who is certifiably Good at Video Games, and so we've been playing video games together for a little bit now. typically this means that she will actually play the majority of the game while i sit with her and watch, but occasionally i'll have a go, but she'll end up with the controller as soon as a boss fight or puzzle or a mechanic i just can't seem to grasp shows up. we recently played through the entirety of the kingdom hearts series together, and this was an absolute blast of a time. i'm glad to say that i adore kingdom hearts now, and it's become one of my hyperfixations, which you might be able to tell from my icon. but we'd finished the kingdom hearts series, and we were left to move onto something else. we'd also played final fantasy 7 remake, so in my wisdom, i suggested that we play another final fantasy game.

we looked through the ff games that were already purchased on our consoles thanks to lizz's uncle, and eventually, we decided that we should play. all of them. however to start, we were going to play final fantasy xv, 15, and work our way backwards through the mainline, single-player games.

i'd heard that xv wasn't very good, but honestly, i was still quite curious. one person who i'd been following on twitter for years was pretty obsessed with the main party members, to the point where i knew their names and what-not even though i didn't have much of an idea what the game itself was about. i remember watching a video by supereyepatchwolf a few years ago about how the game sucked, but i couldn't remember much of the details, and i knew, based on my obsession with kingdom hearts, that xv had started as a different game called final fantasy versus xiiv. i don't know all the details about versus thirteen, but i do know that it was originally helmed by the creator of my beloved kingdom hearts, mr tetsuya nomura, and that after many years, the vast majority of the game was thrown out, nomura wasn't in charge any more, and the whole thing was rewritten and reworked, which sounds like a fairly rough development cycle. but so what, i don't care about gameplay. i want to play the video game with those cute guys that i see fanart of on twitter, and lizz seemed happy enough to play through it with me.

and so we started final fantasy xv. i've been told that since the game was practically dead on arrival, they threw in a bunch of new content and reworked a lot of the early game before i got my hands on it. so my gameplay started with a scene of the four guys fighting some demon dude on fire and they're all old and grotty. whatever, that cutscene ends and we're put into a combat tutorial. that's over and we're on the road in what looks to be central america, pushing a car.

our four leading lads are noctis, the prince of the lucis empire, his best friend prompto, his bodyguard, gladio, and his chef and other things, ignis. i do quite like the main four members of the party in xv. prompto is quite easily my favourite, voiced by robbie daymond of goro akechi fame and with a bunch of fun little animations and quips that make him very likeable. he gets extremely excited at the idea of riding chocobos and has what i considered the best scene of the game, where he and noctis meet on a motel rooftop and discuss prompto's imposter syndrome, since he's only part of noctis' official retinue as his best friend. noctis is a fairly typical main protagonist, he's in love with a woman he hasn't seen in eight years and needs to go marry her or something, i don't care. gladio is a tough macho man with a mullet who wears leather jackets and wields a greatsword, and is apparently only 22, which is at least 10 years younger than i assumed. ignis is a strategist and chef, who takes on the most authoritative role and constantly tells noctis to not drive his car at night. i was not a fan of ignis at the start, but he grew on me, especially with how hard the game hit me with his personal arc. the four boys are off, driving to noctis' wedding in a different country across the desert when their car breaks down. we then run into the first issue of the game.

cindy is a mechanic. she also has her ass and tits out constantly, like your sleazy uncle's shirt with a naked woman was instead semi-alive as a video game person. she fixes your car and acts fairly sexual and it's just like. why do we have to do this. aren't we over overtly sexualised women in video games who have no reason for the way they dress other than the character designer was horny? whatever, i like women as much as the next guy, but cindy's design just. makes me feel so uncomfortable.

anyways you get to do a little driving around with the boys, until you stay the night before catching the boat to your fiance. overnight, you find out that noctis' kingdom has been basically destroyed by an invading empire called niflheim, and practically everyone noctis knows, including his father, are dead. you learn that noctis and his bride to be are also assumed dead, with noctis hearing his own death announcement on the radio. the game has a bunch of added cutscenes that are actually footage from the three-hour-long prequel movie that came out after the game, are extremely hard to follow and honestly i had no idea what i was looking at. anyways, noctis' family is dead, so it's time to do some hunting sidequests.

that brings us to the combat, i suppose. rather than the turn-based or even active turn-based combat that the series is known for, xv opts for more modern action rpg-styled combat. i was, naturally, terrible at this, but i managed to get around it with the fact that. it is almost impossible to die in this video game, provided you have enough items. the game allows you so much time to heal yourself that there's practically no way to have your entire party wipe unless you're doing absolutely terrible, and even then, your party members will probably try and heal you themselves before that happens. lizz tells me that the combat is boring, you just push the same button over and over and then you win. i do appreciate that, for someone like me who is terrible at reading enemy movements, there is a giant button that pops up on screen that tells you when to push the block button, but even then i was prone to fucking it up. whether that's the bad game design or my terrible gaming abilities is up to you to decide. anyways, the game is fairly easy but has annoying combat, your teammates limit breaks will only land about 50% of the time (or never, if you are gladio) and i was still bad at it, so i didn't have all that much fun.

instead of an active levelling system, the game will only tally your character's level ups when you either make camp or visit a hotel. camping is, in my opinion, the only saving grace of this game. each time you make camp, you get to see the characters doing fun little camping activities together and just hanging out, ignis will cook up a new meal in a dramatic fashion and everyone will compliment him and eat it off their coleman's branded plates, it's just very fun. you also get to see what pictures prompto has taken, which is one of my favourite gameplay features. prompto's passion is photography, and while i support him in this wholeheartedly, his picture taking skills are, quite frankly, awful. the game will randomly take shots while you're on the move, which leaves you with a delightful selection of awkward poses, characters hidden behind bushes, pictures taken while someone is half-dead in combat, and snaps where the natural lighting absolutely makes it impossible to tell what's going on. it's hilarious and going through prompto's collection of photos each night is honestly the best part of the game. we managed to wind up with a few shots that, even despite being scripted events, turned out absolutely terrible, and i will cherish those forever.

anyways, since noctis' father and fiance are dead, that leaves him the king of lucis. the only important person to make it out of the capital alive tells you to drive to the middle of nowhere, where he randomly springs on you. hey. go into a bunch of these dungeons and absorb a bunch of swords, this is your destiny as king and how you will defeat the empire. noctis goes, uh, alright i guess, and you're set loose again to wander around for a bit collecting the 'royal arms'. this plot point wasn't explained well but hey, whatever, we're collecting the glowy swords and that's fine.

you're introduced at some point to ardyn, the main antagonist. he's old, kind of groady and wears a fedora. he's a dick to you and talks about his automobeeel. apparently my friend miri thinks he's hot, she is wrong.

i can't remember what happens specifically but you're told that your fiance is still alive and in fantasy venice, and she's talking to the gods on your behalf to borrow their powers. there's a mission where you follow some purple trees that are electric, and you do that i guess. i enjoyed riding the chocobos around, but couldn't care much for the plot at this point. ardyn leads you to a volcano, where you fight a giant lava god. he tries to step on you and i, a denizen of the internet and with an active fear of foot fetishists, was extremely uncomfortable. noctis becomes friends with foot man and a lightning god who lived in those trees, and ardyn steals your car.

very upset by this, noctis and his gang risk everything to sneak into a military base and steal it back. because this is a video game, this works out fine.

there's a little mining city which is all about Girl Power, because all the Women run the Mining Industry like Girl Bosses, and you hang around there for a bit. because all the women are so Empowered, they wear bikinis all the time with overalls over the top. gladio decides he needs to fuck off for a bit, i have no idea what he does since i haven't played the dlc, and then he comes back with another scar. you hang out with his sixteen year old sister, who has a crush on the engaged and 20-year old noctis, and then you drive her to a lighthouse. when she's in your party, she can't really fight, but she gets a pink chocobo and i thought that was very cute. we turned out own chocobo white and lizz named him 'jones' after a mount she has in ffxiv.

eventually, you have a long boat ride over to fantasy venice. this is the part where the game stops being 'fun with a few issues in combat and a rushed and poorly told story.' the open world, which was a main feature with a bunch of little areas to find where noctis can fish, little hunting sidequests and random photo spots where prompto takes touristy photos, is now gone, and it will not return for the entire rest of the game. you can 'go back in time', but the open world was the most enjoyable part of the game, and it kind of really sucks that the main story doesn't let you have any more freedom like that.

after arriving in fantasy venice, you have a talk with fantasy hillary clinton and beg her to let your girlfriend summon a god into the middle of her city. hillary agrees, and you don't get to meet up with your fiance, because even if the game is constantly telling you how much noctis loves her, there is. barely any interactions between the two in the entire game. from what i can tell, they met when noctis was a child and they haven't seen each other in ten years but are still fantasy dog pen-pals. noctis marrying her was supposed to make an alliance or something like that, but her brother has betrayed her to the army. noctis' girlfriend is also an oracle, which means she can heal people, i guess? everyone talks about how important she is and she's constantly telling people that she needs to use her powers to help noctis but she's practically a non-entity.

as can be expected of most female love interests in a game primarily focused on men, noctis' fiance is killed while summoning a god for noctis to befriend. noct gets very mad about this, and turns super saiyan and kills the god back, but his girlfriend is dead and that's super sad you guys. there's a beautiful prerendered cutscene where she says goodbye to noctis but since we barely know her, and we've only been told over and over that they're in love without anything to actually well, show this, it didn't have much of an impact. fantasy venice is destroyed, and ignis is blinded while trying to help calm the giant raging god.

iggy's blindness and how the game makes you account for this and grow to care for him was one of the highlights, in my opinion, as well as crushingly depressing. while i'm not disabled and have no right to say if this was 'good disabled representation' or anything like that, i believe that the game handles it decently enough. the group falls apart as noctis is upset about his girlfriend, gladio is extremely mad that noctis won't care for ignis, and prompto just wants everyone to get along. there's a mission where gladio constantly yells at you passive aggressive things to noctis about how he's a cunt for running, which is obnoxious, but the character arc itself is fairly strong. when you make camp, ignis can't cook anymore, so everyone eats cup noodles in a depressing ass cutscene. ignis remains in your party for the rest of the game despite his disability, and he doesn't magically regain his sight like other fantasy media would do, which at the very least i think is good. i'm not sure what the opinion of actual disabled people is of the character, considering how often disabled characters are either turned into misery porn to make the abled audience be glad that isn't them and if ignis' arc falls into this trap, but i hope that it wasn't handled too poorly, as that would just be another terrible mark in this game's list of bad moves.

the characters eventually make it to the evil empire's capital, which is abandoned and filled with daemons. the characters learn that ardyn is super evil and taught the king of the empire how to turn humans into daemons, which has now happened to the entire city. the 'magitek suits', presumed to be enchanted armour that fights as the empire's infantry, actually house the souls of the human-turned daemons. honestly i like this as a plot point but the game handles it pretty terribly. there could have been more lead up to this, the explanation is pretty lacking, and prompto's Big Plot Twist is. terribly handled. turns out that prompto was born in the empire and was going to be one of those empty soldier daemons, but he was rescued by people belonging to noctis' empire. not that the game tells you that. instead, prompto goes 'turns out i'm one of ... them' and Does Not Elaborate. The game doesn't tell you shit, not about prompto's past, not about how he feels about this, not about how anyone else feels about this either because the other party members just go 'oh that sucks, good thing you're not evil' and the scene ends. robbie daymond tries so hard to sell these terrible, terrible lines, and it almost entirely fails, i'm so sorry prompto. fortunately because i'm a nosy ass, i read prompto's wikia page and knew the plot twist ahead of time, because i don't think i would have even registered it if i didn't.

anyways everyone in the evil empire is dead and ardyn starts talking about how he's immortal and an ancient king of noctis' country but the gods thought he sucked because he's too evil. i missed most of this because the cats got the zoomies and were dashing across the couch right in the middle of his speech so i can't tell you anything else. noctis tries to get a big magic crystal to fight him and instead. gets schlorped inside.

TEN YEARS LATER

yes then ten years actually pass while noctis is asleep. the game shows this by switching the head on noctis' character model to have a beard, but that's it, no changes in animations or whatever. the sky is permanently night and only one human civilisation remains, the rest destroyed by daemons. as a plot point, this ends up feeling. extremely worthless. why was noctis asleep for ten whole goddamn years? so we can wake up and go 'damn it sucks out here'. but it's barely even a like, incentive to fix everything, because you have a long talk with a former child you were friends with where he talks about how humanity is still going fine and everyone's okay and the world has moved on without you. it feels. pointless. when you meet up with your party members, they are exactly as you left them, only with slightly different character models. there is no change in the voice performance, the character's movements or how they talk to show that they've been without you for ten years. they barely mention it. i'm just. so confused as to why they decided that a ten year timeskip was the way to go? since nothing really changes, couldn't you have made it like, two years? one year? six months?? have the characters react a little more? something??? at least if it was only a year or so i wouldn't have to deal with the fact that noctis looks like norman reedus with his shitty facial hair now.

anyways after that there's a bunch of long and boring boss fights. you fight some dead kings for some reason, your party members get a little bit to talk about how cool they are and how much they love noctis, and then you meet up with ardyn. there's another boring boss fight and god this was only a few hours ago but it's already gone from my head. you summon the gods and the old kings to beat the shit out of him after you both go super saiyan again? there's incredible music but it feels barely earned and just kind of eh. anyways, noctis dies, which was the price of using the crystal of light or whatever the fuck. his ghost marries his fiance's ghost finally, and they smile as they look at one of prompto's pictures. you can pick any picture you want to go here, and then the credits roll, showing all of the pictures you saved of prompto's shots. showing me all the pictures at the end is honestly lovely, but it really only served to remind me of how much more fun the game was in the first half. and that's the end, of final fantasy xv.

so what did i think of the story? it's terribly cobbled together and struggles to get you to feel anything and play out all the plot beats. you feel awful for the countless employees who spent years working on the beautiful cutscenes only to have them be in this game, which sucks and the story barely gets through. there were parts that i enjoyed, mostly the thing about the daemons being people, but honestly the rest of it is a mess. it's hard to follow at the best of times and just awkward and terribly written at the worst. the ending is cheap, and it doesn't feel like you've actually accomplished anything. i left that game feeling numb and empty, sad that i'd wasted so much time to end up with such a colossal failure of a conclusion.

i had fun with the game when it was my four little guys running around doing sidequests and camping together. after the midway point of the game, there's none of that, and you're bogged down into a plot that just pushes you from point a to point b and boring overlong bossfight to boring overlong bossfight. the character moments between your party are a lot of fun, but the second you hit fantasy venice, everything is pretty much on rails and you can't do anything except what the game tells you explicitly to do.

should you play this game? no lol. if anything i've mentioned about the story interests you, you'll be better off watching a lore video or reading the wiki. if you do want to play it after all that, just don't proceed after the myrthril refining quest, it's pretty much all downhill from there. will i play the dlc? unlikely, i think lizz and i will just watch a cutscene movie of those.

this game left me feeling empty and numb and not in a fun way. i wanted, so, so hard to like this game, and it all crashed around me in a beautifully overproduced and confusingly written cascade. i love you prompto, but even your cute little freckly face and terrible photography can't save this trainwreck of a game.

tl;dr - final fantasy xv sucks. i hope that 13, our next ff game, will be better.

[addictofsupernatural]

Heat Cycle

Alec McDowell x reader

Summary: The reader is a transgenic, and just like Max, has feline DNA. As she goes through her heat cycle, she finds it extremely hard to resist her fellow transgenic.

Warning: sexual themes (smut)

Word Count: 2889

This was bad. Very bad. You hated when this happened. Your heat cycle was here. It happened every so often, and got more intense as the days grew. You usually never gave in, not wanting to be some slut. It was painful, but you went through it anyways.

"Damn girl, you sure you don't want us to tell Normal that you're sick?" Original Cindy asked.

"No, it's okay, I should be good." The three of you were sitting at the counter eating breakfast in your shared apartment. "If I do anything that I wouldn't normally do, just slap me or something, okay?"

Original Cindy nodded her head. Max spoke up. "You mean if you do something around Alec?" You gave her a look. "I still don't get what you see in him."

"You don't give him enough props." You respond, Max annoyedly looking at you. "He's actually nice and funny..." Your mind trailed off to other things about him. "...and hot and muscular. God, that face too, and his-" You were cut off by a smack to the back of the head by Original Cindy. "Thanks." You weakly said.

"It's all good, boo." She put her mug into the sink. "C'mon, we got a long day ahead of us." Max responded with an mmhm as she eyed your already wrecked form.

You got to work and tried your best to avoid eye contact with the men, barely making it through three deliveries. You were twitchy and wobbly, the pain increasing. Then Alec came.

He's had eyes for you ever since Manticore was burned down. Ever since he met you, he always found your smile compelling. You were always smiling and giggly when you were with Max or him, considering that you two were paired off together but refused to do anything with him.

He figured that you wouldn't go out with him right off the bat, so he took his time. Despite what Max thinks, he was actually a good hearted person with a softer side. At least that's what you told him. And if you were able to see the good in him that nobody else saw, then he was willing to take his time and go at your pace with things.

He went over to say hi, but knew something was wrong. You were sweating a lot and looked weak. Not only that, but as he got closer, he smelled something off of you. You smelled sweet and intoxicating.

He leaned next to against the locker and you didn't notice him because of your locker door being open. "Hey." You jumped, causing him to smirk.

You looked away from him. "Hi." You squeaked.

He took your shoulder, causing you to look at him. "Something wrong?" He looked at your eyes, widened and dilated. Something inside of you overpowered you, and you gave in. You shoved him against the lockers, staring at his lips. "Woah! What the hell?!"

You ran your finger over his plump bottom lip. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at you. "You could help me." You said, the words barely coming out as a whisper.

Your smell was becoming too much to handle. It drove him crazy with need for you, and it seemed to do the same for you. "Y/n, what-"

He was cut off by Original Cindy, who grabbed you off of him and punched you in the face. Alec just watched this in shock and confusion. Being as you were a transgenic, the punch didn't hurt you at all. "Alright girl, time to go home."

You nodded, looking ashamed. "Okay."

She took you over to Normal, who didn't look up. "Normal, girl needs a sick day. She ain't feeling well."

He was cleaning his glasses. "Yeah right you lazy freaks. You're just trying to blow off work."

"Normal, I'll buy you a new headset, just please-" you cut yourself off as you were about to collapse, your friend holding you up.

Normal then got a good look at you. "Woah, you look terrible. Yeah, maybe you're right. Take the rest of the day off, I don't want you scaring people on deliveries."

"Thank you." You said, Original Cindy pushing you towards your bike so you could ride home.

Alec stood next to Max as they both watched this happened. "What's wrong with her?" He said, his voice full of concern.

Max didn't like that. "Why should you care? It's none of your business anyways."

"I care because she doesn't look well." Alec responded, annoyed. "Maybe I could help."

"You're not going near her." Max said between gritted teeth.

"Girl's in heat." Original Cindy said. Unlike Max, your other friend wanted the two of you to be together. You were happier around him, and he was obviously into you. "It's cause of her feline DNA."

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"Like a bitch." Max simply responded. He need to hear anything else. He started to head to Normal, but was yanked back by Max. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Y/n's in pain, Max. I'm not gonna do nothing about it." She tried to shove him again but failed as he quickly dodged her and headed to Normal. "Hey, Normal, I think I'm gonna go see y/n. Make sure she's okay."

He was focusing on his clipboard. "Sure thing. I'm glad somebody gives a damn about others now and days." Alec was always the favorite.

He quickly followed your scent, riding his bike to your apartment. He asked around where you lived, and went up to your floor and knocked on your door. You opened it, looking at the ground. "Hey. Can I come in?"

"I don't think that's a good idea." You mumbled.

He stepped forward, and you hid behind the door a little. "I know what's wrong. Let me help." You widened your eyes that were still fixed on the ground. "It's okay, you can trust me. I just want to help."

You then looked up at him, eyes full of lust. "It hurts Alec."

"Let me take the pain away." He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He then put his hands on your hips and brought you forward. You dropped your head on his shoulder, feeling helpless and weak. Alec felt that you were feeling this, and wanted for you to feel better about yourself. He gently grabbed your chin, lifting your head. "Can I kiss you?"

The fact that he asked permission made you feel happy inside. Instead of taking over and doing as he wanted with you, he asked you if it were okay. No matter what anybody says, he truly is a good person.

"Please." The word came out as a small whimper.

You put your hands on his shoulders as he pulled you towards him, leaning down to connect his lips with yours. You then began to walk backwards, tugging him with you. Once you were in your shared room with Max, he kicked the door closed.

You guided him to your bed, and you broke the kiss to lay down. He stared at you as he kicked off his shoes, waiting and ready for him. You looked hotter than he ever could have imagined.

He kneeled on the bed, each knee beside your sides. He tugged you up and pulled your shirt over your head, taking a second to admire you. Although you were impatient for him to do something, you still looked away from him and squirmed under his stare.

He smiled. You were in heat right now, but you still felt embarrassed in front of him. As you looked away from him, he leaned into you and kissed your neck, soft and tenderly. He left a wet trail down your neck to your chest, stopping as he got to your bra.

As he pulled back to look at you, he began to suck his thumb in his mouth, maintaining eye contact with you. He used his other hand to unclasp your bra, pulling it off of you as he brought his finger out of his mouth.

He then started to rub one of your nipples with the wet thumb, swirling it as it hardened. He then put his mouth on the other nipple sucking and swirling it with his tongue as he flicked the other one. You began to breathe hard as he did this.

You wrapped your legs around him, grinding into his stomach for any sort of relief. He stopped with he was doing and pushed your hips down on the mattress. You tried to use your strength to escape his grasp, but he forcefully pushed it back down.

"Don't forget sweetheart," he said as he leaned his face back down. "You're not the only one with enhanced abilities."

His words made the area in between your legs tingle, and you felt your panties becoming damp. He kissed down your stomach, popping open the button to your pants and yanking them down.

An amazing idea then crossed his mind. You were in heat, and he had to make sure that you felt completely better when this was over.

He sat up and went to sit at the back of the bed, his back against the wall. You groaned in frustration, sitting up as well.

"Come here." He held out his hands, and you smiled. You excitedly straddled his lap. He placed your left leg in between his legs, so that you straddled his thigh instead. "Move on it."

You pouted. "But what about you?" You were dying for his cock, and he was just teasing you. A wicked smile came across your face, and you leaned your chest into him, pressing your breasts to his shirt. You started to kiss him just below his ear, palming him through his pants. "I want you to feel good too."

He began to breathe harder, but then grabbed your hand. "Slow down there. We don't want this to end too quickly, do we?" His smirk made you even more horny. "I said I was going to take the pain away, right?"

"Alec-"

He gently gripped your hips and pushed you down onto his thigh, making you moan out. He kissed just below your ear. "Move." He whispered, and you did as you were told.

You began to grind yourself back and forth on his thigh. You were a whimpering mess as Alec was busy sucking and kissing your shoulder. The smell of each other was intoxicating, and you felt drunk off of it. Soon Alec craved more, and took over. He gripped your hips and moved them across his thigh, making you hungrily kiss him as you moaned into his mouth from pleasure.

You soon felt yourself spasm around nothing, breathing hard. "How do you feel?"

"It feels better. Still hurts a bit."

"Oh, don't you worry sweetheart. This is far from over." You sigh and smile at him, causing him to kiss you tenderly as he brought you down, your back on the bed. "Relax." You nodded and closed your eyes after looking at Alec's amazing smile.

He kissed your clit, making you sharply moan. He chuckled and kissed your core, making you whine. "Alec!"

"Okay, I'll be nice." He then licked all the way up to your clit. You bucked your hips up, making him hold them down. "No moving."

"Sorry." You breathed out. "Hurts."

He then slid in a finger to your hole easily, thrusting in and out at a moderate pace. Soon he added a second finger, causing you to be a moaning mess. You still felt a little embarrassment, but you needed this.

"Close!" He then latched his mouth onto your clit, causing you to come, hard.

He got off the bed and began to undress, your eyes never leaving each other. When he finally took off his boxers you rubbed your legs together for any type of friction. "I need to be ready for you."

He didn't need to say any more. You sat up as he sat down on the bed in front of you. You quickly crawled to him, pressing a kiss to his lips before smiling and gently grabbing his cock. His breath hitched as you slowly began to pump him with both hands. You then took one of your hands and began to massage the tip with your thumb, spreading what was leaking to the whole dick.

He suddenly stopped you, taking your hands away as he began to tenderly kiss your neck. You then leaned down and brought him with you. He grabbed his dick and rubbed it along your hole, causing your hand to fly to his hair, gently tugging on it. He slipped in without a problem and began to move. With each thrust he went faster and faster, trying to find your g-spot but was having a hard time in this position.

Right before you reached your edge he pulled out, causing a frustrated moan from you. "Turn around. On all fours." You quickly complied. The raspiness of his voice indicated that he was close as well.

He entered your dripping core and immediately began pounding into you. With each thrust he brushed against your g-spot, making you a screaming, moaning mess. With each other's enhanced speed, you were able to match his very quick thrusts. As you thought that you were going to burst, he brought his fingers to your clit and began furiously rubbing it. You screamed his name, squirting on him. He followed you not long after.

As he pulled out and calmed down he began gingerly kissing your jaw line. "Where's a towel?"

"Bathroom." You lazily said. "The blue one." He then brought back the towel and cleaned the both of you up. He went next to the two of you and laid down beside you, draping your blanket over the both of you. He engulfed you in his arms and closed his eyes. Although you were also tired, you pushed away a little. "Wait, we need to talk about-"

"I know, we will." He replied gently, pulling you back into him. He brought the heat of your body against his chest, and buried his face in your hair, loving the smell.

"Promise?"

You felt him chuckle. "Promise." You looked up and gently kissed him. "What was that for?" He smiled.

"In case you don't feel the same way I do in our talk." You then snuggled back in his chest, quickly falling asleep. Once he felt you sleeping, he breathed a sigh in relief. So you felt the same way he did. He kissed your head and soon also fell asleep.

When you woke up, he wasn't in the bed. Your blanket was covering your body. You sat up and buried your face in your hands. So he didn't feel the same way.

You heard something coming from outside of your room and immediately stood, picking up the first thing you saw and putting in on, which was a shirt. When you went to go see what it was, it was Alec going through your fridge. He turned around. "Oh, hey." He playfully pointed at you. "Do you know how to make bacon?"

"Uh, yeah." You said, walking over to the kitchen. He happily took the bag of bacon out and placed in on the counter.

"You look surprised." He said as he leaned on the counter.

"I thought you left." You refused to look at him, and instead drew your attention to the bacon.

"You're wearing my shirt." You looked down and wanted to slap yourself. You then looked at him to see that he was only in his boxers. You then awkwardly put the bacon on a pan, turning on the stove to start making them. Alec smiled in response. He then slyly wrapped his arms around you from behind and rested his head on your shoulder. "You said you wanted to talk."

"I do." You kept your voice as straight as possible.

"What do you want to talk about?" He moved away the hair from your shoulder and began to gingerly kiss your shoulder.

"I think you know."

"You want me to go first?" His kisses were traveling up your neck.

"Yes." You said, a lot quieter that you wanted.

He then kissed the side of your jaw, cooing in your ear, "I want to be more than friends, if that's what you even think of me now. I think you deserve to be dating someone exclusively, and I don't mind being faithful. So what do you say, will you go out with me?"

You turned off the stove and turned towards him with a big smile on your face. You brought him in for a big kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and him wrapping his arms around your waist in return. "I'd love to."

[mindfulwrathwrites]

Powered (Excerpt): Meet “Cute”

The first appearances of two of our main cast!

Words: 1,931 Warnings: Alcohol use, classism

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...

Lupe was having the luckiest bad day of their life, and if it didn't let up soon, they were going to collapse from the stress.

First, it had been the flooding—an event that easily could have killed a dozen people or more, but from which Lupe had escaped without getting so much as a toe in the water. Then it was getting trapped in the swanky office building, where they were sure to get caught and arrested, only to see on the news that the only thing stopping them from leaving was some weirdo up on the roof. And then, it was ARCOM's killer robot and its—handler?—which had almost shot Lupe dead on the spot but decided not to at the last second, instead chasing off after the weirdo in the mask and opening, however unintentionally, Lupe's escape.

So Lupe had hidden in the stairwell in case the Division showed up before the water cleared (they hadn't), and had taken the back-alleys and underpasses out of downtown in case the regular cops were looking for them (they weren't), and was now holed up in a booth at the back of the one Powered bar in Albuquerque, accompanied only by the tinnitus ringing in their ears, nursing a gin and tonic and supposing they ought to feel relieved.

They didn't.

An acrylic nail tapping on the table brought them back to the present. Their favorite bartender, Jess, was standing table-side, rainbow dreadlocks bright against dark skin.

"Starting to pick up in here, honey," she said. "You might wanna start thinking about heading out, before you lose all your elbow room."

"You can't just let me out the back again?" Lupe asked.

"I'd love to, except Cindy's working tonight, and she's been looking for an excuse to fire me."

"Is Cindy the racist one?"

"Take a wild guess."

Lupe winced. "Okay. Thanks for letting me know. Is it okay if I finish my drink first, or. . . ?"

"You got time. I'll get you a lemonade to go so we ain't just kicking you out. On the house."

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

She pressed a hand to her chest and sighed hugely. "If I don't, you might leave us a bad review."

"I couldn't even if I wanted to," they said.

"It's a joke, we're already drowning in bad reviews from normies. Zero stars, service was terrible and it was full of mutants, I felt sooooo threatened when everybody got mad at me for calling them slurs."

Lupe snorted. "Has that happened?"

"Weekly, honey, weekly."

"I'm sorry."

She grinned. "It's all good. They never stick around too long." She tapped her nail on the table again, and a breath of blue flame rolled up the back of her hand. "Lemme get you that lemonade before I forget."

Lupe gave her a lazy, two-finger salute as she moved off. They sucked down a few good gulps of their gin and tonic. Maybe Jess had gone a little heavy on the gin, or maybe it was just that Lupe hadn't eaten in almost twenty-four hours, but it was hitting them harder than usual. They checked their pockets for change and found about four dollars—and since they were getting kicked out before they could get another drink, maybe they'd go get a burger, instead. As they stuffed the cash back in their pocket, somebody pulled up to their booth.

"Mind if I join you?"

He was white, mousy, and freckly, with short-cropped brown hair and a midwestern accent. He was wearing thick-rimmed glasses, a green flannel over a band T-shirt, dark jeans washed a few too many times. He had a drink in each hand.

"I—I was actually just leaving, sorry, it's all yours," said Lupe, scooching outward.

The guy's face fell. "You were?"

"Yeah, it just—I just have to—" They cast around for Jess, but she was nowhere to be seen. They didn't need the free lemonade, anyway; they should get out of here while they could, before this poor guy put a foot in the wrong place and got electrocuted.

"I guess I have to drink both of these, now," he sighed, looking down at the two drinks. One was a beer. The other was clear and bubbly and had a slice of orange in it.

"Well," said Lupe. They fidgeted. "You weren't—you didn't—did you. . . ?"

He offered the cocktail to them. "It was supposed to be for you," he said hopefully.

Lupe fidgeted some more. The room wasn't too crowded yet, and one drink couldn't hurt, especially if it was free. Jess was up at the bar now, busy with a large group of young women that had just come in. Lupe gestured to the other side of the booth.

"I'll save you from the spare drink," they said. "Just be careful where you put your feet, I run at a pretty lethal voltage."

The guy stopped halfway to sitting down. He stared. Lupe shrugged.

"No wonder you're back here all by yourself," the guy said faintly.

"Yeah," said Lupe. "It's fine if you—"

The guy slid the rest of the way into the booth and pulled his feet up after him, sitting cross-legged. With one finger, he pushed the cocktail across to Lupe.

"It's a Tom Collins," he said. "You struck me as the ginny type."

"That—that's a nine-dollar drink," Lupe objected, torn between being flattered and gravely suspicious.

"Yeah," said the guy. He gestured to his own. "And this is a three-dollar beer, split the difference."

Lupe struggled for words. They looked from the cocktail to the guy and back again. They swirled the tiny straws around in case it stirred up any suspicious white powder, which it didn't.

"What did you say your name was?" Lupe asked the guy.

"Zach," he said. "He/him pronouns, if anybody's counting."

"Oh—oh," said Lupe. Something fluttered in their chest, a sigh of relief. "I'm Lupe. Um. They/them."

"Pleased to meet you," said Zach. "I'd shake your hand, but—"

"Yeah, don't—don't do that. So, you—so—you're . . . Powered? I mean, Watt's, it's sort of—it's not like they card you, and if that's too personal, obviously, you don't have to answer, I just. . . ."

"Barely," Zach said, amused but taking pity. "Just enough to make my normie friends nervous."

"Do you mind if I ask what it is?"

"Eh, sure. You showed me yours, I'll show you mine."

In the blink of an eye, he was gone—into thin air, without so much as a puff of smoke or a flash of light. Before Lupe had gotten done being surprised, though, he was back, scrunching his nose like he needed to sneeze.

"That's not barely," said Lupe, astounded.

"No, it doesn't work like you think it does. For example—cameras. It doesn't work on cameras, for some reason. I'm like a reverse-vampire or something. And it gives me migraines if I hold it for more than a minute or so."

"Ohhh, yeah, that—that's not great. I guess it's fun at parties?"

"It's the best at parties," Zach said viciously, grinning. "I hate parties. And now nobody can make me stay, because as soon as nobody's looking, I can literally disappear."

Lupe chuckled and had a sip of their cocktail. It was mild and delicious, like a carbonated gin-lemonade, and there was no hint of a salty Rohypnol aftertaste. Maybe, they thought, this guy really was just being nice.

"Silver linings?" they said. "I don't know, I haven't been to a party in . . . Christ, probably twenty years."

Zach sucked in a breath through his teeth, wincing. "Yeah, what with the voltage and everything, I guess that's probably a little fraught. Don't worry, you're not missing much. Parties suck."

"But bars don't?"

"So long as there's no parties going on in them."

Lupe stirred their drink, being careful not to touch the table. At the bar, Jess was entertaining the group of young women, lighting their drinks on fire with her fingers (to their great delight). Zach watched them, amused, his chin on his hand, his beer untouched.

"Um," said Lupe. "I um. Look, before, um . . . I appreciate the drink, and the—the company, but I just want to make it clear that I'm not really, um, interested in—in—not that you're not—but I'm, sort of, very asexual? So—"

Zach turned back to them, startled. "What? No, no, that's not what this is about. I'm straight."

"You're what?" said Lupe. Their face went hot. "Oh, no, of course, right, I just—"

"Not that you're not a good-looking guy—sorry, person. You're just not my type."

"No, yeah, same, but I just kind of . . . forgot about straight people. Hahah."

"You don't get out much, huh," said Zach, with that same amused-pity look from before.

"I'm homeless, I'm always out," said Lupe, and then realized that it was a top-tier idiot thing to say.

"Holy shit, seriously?" Zach said. "You don't look—okay, you kind of do look homeless, but I figured that was just a fashion choice."

"And you don't look like an ignorant dick, but here we are," Lupe retorted. Maybe they'd had a little too much to drink. Whatever. A remark like that deserved a little snappishness.

Zach winced. "Okay, I deserved that," he said. "But—man, that's rough. Do you need a place to stay, or something? I could put you up at a hotel for a couple of days, or—"

"Don't, just—don't," Lupe sighed, holding up a hand. "It doesn't work. Unless you can find a hotel that doesn't use keycards, it won't work. Just—forget I said anything."

"Are you sure?" Zach pressed. "You could stay at my place, if you needed to. Not forever, I'm kind of already maxed out on roommates, but for a while. Until you get—"

"Get my feet back underneath me?" Lupe filled in. "Sure, I just have to find a job where they don't require you to touch any computers, machines, or other people. Oh, and it has to be no-experience-required, too, and no high school diploma, and not need a physical address or an ID or a phone number, and and and. It won't happen. Trust me."

Zach stared at them, full-pity, looking like a lost puppy in the rain. Lupe shook their head and muttered in Spanish under their breath and looked someplace else. The pity was always the hardest to take.

"Well—do you want dinner, then?" Zach asked. "I could buy you dinner, at least."

"I don't want your goddamn charity," Lupe snapped. A bolt cracked off their wrist and earthed in the center of the table. Someone shrieked. Zach froze, whey-faced. The smell of burnt lacquer rose in a plume. Lupe ground their teeth and took deep breaths and waited for the whine in their ears to soften. Before it did, Jess sidled over.

"Hey, honey," she said. "Hate to butt in, but I think it's about time for you to be heading on out."

"Yeah," said Lupe. They abandoned the rest of their cocktail and got up, dizzy. "Sorry about the table."

"Don't worry about it. You ain't hardly the worst thing that's happened to a table in here."

They faked a smile, nodded to her, and headed for the door. Despite the crowd, a wide path opened for them. Every eye in the place watched as they went.

[sweetheartofsecondlife]

80's Week Wrap Up

Hi Sweethearts, RL work kept me busy this week, so I wasn't able to update my blog like I wanted to, so I've prepared this summary playlist of my favorite 80's covers for you.

Minimatic - The Final Countdown (feat. Juliette P.)

Jonny May - Wake Me Up

The Lost Fingers - Straight Up

Ane Brun - True Colors

Ely Bruna - Take On Me

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox - Thriller

Jazzystics - Walking on Sunshine

Berk & The Virtual Band - Sweet Dreams

Grace VanderWaal - We Got the Beat

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox - You Give Love A Bad Name

Giuseppe Milici Quartet - Billie Jean

Phil Collins - That's All - Live; 2019 Remaster

Carolyn Wonderland - Bad to the Bone

King Coleman New Trio - Don't Stop Believin'

James Farrelli - Africa

Leo Giannetto's Jazz Project - Every Breath You Take

Phil Collins - Invisible Touch - Live; 2019 Remaster

Bebo Best - Don't Worry Be Happy

Fred Horn - Everybody Wants To Rule The World

jackiO - Dead Man's Party

Flower Power - Thriller

Phil Collins - I Don't Care Anymore - Live; 2019 Remaster

Romeo Loves Juliet - Jack & Diane

LP and the Vinyl - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Men At Work - Down Under - Acoustic Cover

Reel Big Fish - Hungry Like The Wolf - Best Of

Dinah Eastwood - Every Rose Has Its Thorn

The Cooltrane Quartet - Groove is in the Heart

The Lost Fingers - (I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight

Cooking Jazz Music Academy - Land Down Under

The Puppini Sisters - Walk Like An Egyptian

Cassandra Beck - Jump

Bailey Pelkman - Kokomo

The Cooltrane Quartet - The Lady in Red

Clara Morgane - I'm so Excited

The Cooltrane Quartet - Like a Virgin

James Farrelli - Power of Love

Dinah Eastwood - Hungry Like The Wolf

Love Canon - Money for Nothing

Eve St. Jones - The Look

Urselle - Maniac

New York Lounge Quartett - One Night in Bangkok

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox - Ice Ice Baby

Maira Martins - Papa Don't Preach (Bossa version)

Meg Birch - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox - Livin’ On A Prayer

Future Soundscapes - Roxanne

Cindy Bradley - She Bop

The Bryan J. White Trio - Shout

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox - Straight Up

Jazz de Copes - Billie Jean

No BS! Brass Band - Take On Me

SpeakLOW - Thriller

Emilie-Claire Barlow - Under Pressure

Phil Collins - Sussudio - Live in Paris 7/21/1998; 2019 Remaster

Meg Birch - Walking on Sunshine

Michael Jackson Tribute - Bad

Libertino Live Band - Conga

Edward Brown lll - Liberian Girl

Mal Waldron - Beat It - Studio

Phil Collins - Invisible Touch - Live; 2019 Remaster

Phil Collins - Against All Odds - Live; 2019 Remaster

Lee Presson and the Nails - Hot For Teacher

jackiO - Dead Man's Party

LP and the Vinyl - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

The Tierney Sutton Band - Every Little Thing He Does Is Magic

The Lost Fingers - Groove Is in the Heart

Michael John Hall - Ground Control To Major Tom

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox - Thriller

The Tierney Sutton Band - Fields of Gold

Reel Big Fish - Hungry Like The Wolf - Best Of

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox - Ice Ice Baby

Romeo Loves Juliet - Jack & Diane

Couture Chic - Jump

Wayman Tisdale - Never, Never Gonna Give You Up

Robyn Adele Anderson - 1985

Phil Collins - That's All - Live; 2019 Remaster

James Farrelli - Africa

Paul Simon - All Around the World or the Myth of Fingerprints (with Los Lobos)

Aaron Tesser & The New Jazz Affair - All Night Long

Fattburger - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Carolyn Wonderland - Bad to the Bone

Scubba - Beat It

Phil Collins - Sussudio - Live in Paris 7/21/1998; 2019 Remaster

48th St. Collective - 99 Red Balloons

Jamie Lancaster - Billie Jean

Libertino Live Band - Conga

King Coleman New Trio - Don't Stop Believin'

Jamie Lancaster - Easy Lover

Leo Giannetto's Jazz Project - Every Breath You Take

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox - Thriller

[theoneyouradioshowpodcast]

FARMER DEFENDS WORLD TITLE AGAINST CARROLL ON MARCH 15

Philly champ hosts Irishman on St Patrick’s weekend – Taylor-Volante in unification clash – Rosado meets Sulecki

Tevin Farmer will defend his IBF World Super-Featherweight title against Jono Carroll at the Liacouras Center in Philadelphia on Friday March 15, live on DAZN in the US and on Sky Sports in the UK.

TICKETS WILL GO ON SALE NEXT TUESDAY (JANUARY 29)

Farmer (28-4-1 6KOs) makes the third defense of his crown in his first fight on home turf as a World champion, following a wide points win over Francisco Fonseca in New York in December, a win that followed a dominant fifth round stoppage over Northern Irishman James Tennyson in his first defense in Boston in October.

The 28 year old returns to the Temple University venue having boxed there in April 2017 against Arturo Reyes – the fight before his first World title showdown with Kenichi Ogawa in Las Vegas in December, where his controversial split decision loss was turned into a no-contest after the Japanese failed a drug test. Farmer would claim the vacant IBF title in August in Australia with a comprehensive points win over seasoned Aussie Billy Dib.

Unbeaten Dubliner Carroll (16-0-1 3KOs) fights for his first World title on St Patrick’s weekend against Farmer, with his shot at the title following a closely fought split draw in a final eliminator with Guillaume Frenois in Sheffield, England in December.

Farmer and Carroll have been involved in bitter social media spats and will finally come face-to-face for the first time at a press conference to launch the fight in Philly next Tuesday, and both fighters believe the fight will be as fiery as the build-up.

“He's got a World title shot on St Patrick's weekend, he should be thanking me,” said Farmer. “He's trying to get under my skin but it's impossible to get under my skin. He's making himself look bad and he's stepping up to a whole different level with me. I'm A-level and he's going to pay.

“He says we both come from tough backgrounds, the hood, that boy hasn't come from any struggle, no hood. I'm going to show him when he comes to Philly, he's going to eat his words. He's trying to get his buzz up but there's certain things that you don't say. He's made this personal and you don't want to get personal with a Philly guy like me.

“This is big for me, fighting as a World champion in Philly. When does Philly hold big World championship shows? This is big – it's a boxing town but this is as big a show as there's been here for a long time. I have to thank Eddie, Lou and DAZN for making this a reality, because often World champions don't always get the chance to fight in their home city. It doesn't happen, but it's happening for me and that shows the level of respect that Eddie, Lou and I have for each other. It's going to be a great night.

“I don't care about these other champions. You never know what is going to happen with politics and people making excuses, but I'm here, I defended the title twice in three months last year and I'm headlining at home. If people really want to fight, it's simple to do - sign the contract and turn up and fight.

“The only thing I care about is my career, keep lining them up and I'm going to keep smoking them and keep getting paid. With or without them, my career will be the best of all those guys. I'm on a high right now. Everything is good right now, I'm doing everything I've dreamed of.”

“It is only fitting that Tevin Farmer's remarkable journey in boxing and in life comes back to his home city, Philadelphia,” said DiBella. “In 2018, from Australia to Madison Square Garden, Tevin established himself as one of the brightest and most active stars in boxing.

“This is the homecoming Tevin deserves, and if Jono Carroll fights with the same fervor that he talks, it will also be a fight befitting of a city that has long been synonymous with all action wars.”

“I'll do what I want with Tevin, he's a tiny little child and I'm not afraid of him,” said Carroll. “When we meet, if he's respectful of me, I'll be respectful back as that's how I've been brought up - but if comes talking rubbish then I'll put him in his place.

“I see a fakeness in him when I see him interviewed, I see a fake person. My thoughts on him are that he wants to be liked, but he's not. I reckon he's arrogant, that's the man I think he is and I know he's that sort of flashy person saying stupid things on Twitter.

“Tevin is a man that wants to be liked but he plays like he's Floyd Mayweather, but he's not half as good as him. He has serious holes in his armory, and I am going to poke every single one of them, I’ll break him up and stop him.

“He's never met a man like me in his life. He came from a rough background yes, but so did I. We're both from crazy places but we're in the limelight now, so we have to be grown-up and responsible as we're going to have cameras around us.”

Irish sensation Katie Taylor can take a giant step towards her goal of becoming the undisputed World Lightweight champion when she aims to unify her WBA and IBF titles against WBO ruler Rose Volante.

Taylor (12-0 5KOs) added the IBF strap to her WBA title in April against Victoria Bustos in Brooklyn, New York, and has since defended the titles three times, stopping Kimberly Connor in three rounds in London in July before shutouts against Cindy Serrano in Boston in October and ending a stunning 2018 by beating Eva Wahlstrom in New York in December.

Volante (14-0 8KOs) has defended her WBO crown twice since winning the vacant title in December 2017 and the Argentine won both her defenses in Brazil 2018 by the halfway point, with Lourdes Borbua retiring after five rounds in April and Yolis Marrugo Franco stopped in three in September.

The champions put titles and unbeaten records on the line in Philadelphia, and the winner will target Belgian WBC ruler Delfine Persoon for all the belts later in the year.

“Ever since I won my first World title as a pro my goal has been to unify the Lightweight titles so this is obviously a massive step towards that,” said Taylor. “Volante is unbeaten so I'm expecting a tough fight but that's exactly the kind of challenge I want. I think the better the opponent and the bigger the challenge the better I will perform.

“It's a great card to be on especially with so many Irish fighters on the bill on St. Patrick's weekend in Philadelphia so I'm sure it will be a special occasion.

“For now my focus is on Volante but of course after that fight I would love to have all the belts as soon as possible. Hopefully the Persoon fight can finally be made for the summer and then there are some other huge fights out there as well for the rest of the year.”

A stacked card in support of the two World title blockbusters is led by a crunch Middleweight clash between Philadelphia’s Gabriel Rosado and Pole Maciej Sulecki and an all-Philadelphia Lightweight clash between Hank Lundy and Avery Sparrow.

Rosado (24-11-1 14KOs) is back in action after a controversial all-action fight in Kansas with Luis Arias in November, the former World title challenger drawing with the Milwaukee man. The 33 year old will be desperate to get his name back into contention for major honors with the 160lbs division red hot right now, but Sulecki (27-1 11KOs) will have the same designs on those title shots having bounced back from a loss against Daniel Jacobs in April with a second round KO win in Poland in November.

“I'm excited to start the year back home in Philly,” said Rosado. “This is the second half of my career and the goal is to win a World title. It's only right that it starts here in Philly.”

Prospect Sparrow (9-1 3KOs) will be gunning to add a major scalp to his CV in the shape of former World title challenger Lundy (29-7-1 14KOs). Sparrow faces the second ten round clash of his career as he looks to step up his progress early in 2019.

“It's been a long time since I last fought but that's on me and I've learned from it,” said Sparrow. “Fighting someone like Hank Lundy is the kind of challenge I look forward to. It's a big fight on a big stage.”

“Once again we have a great Philly vs. Philly fight and that is always good for boxing in Philly,” said Lundy. “It's a hard fight but we're both looking down the road because we know what winning this fight will do for our careers.”

Kazakhstan’s Olympic gold medal star Daniyar Yeleussinov (5-0 3KOs) fights for the sixth time in the paid ranks ahead of what promises to be a break out year for the 27 year old, the same of which can be said for two-time Olympian and 2012 silver medalist John Joe Nevin (11-0 4KOs) who joins fellow Irish fighters on the St. Patrick’s weekend bill.

“I can’t wait for March 15 at the Liacouras Center,” said promoter Eddie Hearn. “It’s our first ever event in Philadelphia and it’s an honor to promote in this great city on St Patrick’s weekend.

“Tevin Farmer is one of the great boxing underdog stories of our generation and I’m so happy he is getting the chance to bring that World championship home against a feisty and talented Jono Carroll.

“The biggest star in World boxing, Ireland’s Katie Taylor, looks to unify the division against WBO champ Rose Volante. Philly favorite Gabe Rosado takes on Poland’s Maciej Sulecki in a thrilling Middleweight match up and #Olympic stars Daniyar Yeleussinov and John Joe Nevin. It’s stacked from top to bottom and it’s going to be an electric night of boxing in #Philadelphia.”