#it's why Joker and Vega refuse to go for you

[zenjestrr]

with new people playing Mass Effect comes new people bringing back the age gap disk horse calling people pedophiles for romancing Tali just cuz she's like 5ish years younger than Shepard

[mythomagic29]

Mass Effect Legendary Edition - 30 Day Character Challenge

I've made a Character Development Challenge for your Shepards. I've taken inspiration from a bunch of different challenges. I love fleshing out my characters. Giving them a History, figuring out their feelings and thoughts. It really helps me connect with my character. Hope you enjoy expanding on your character! Day 1. Introduction· Name/Sign/Gender: Where does your character stand with their morality? Anything else you want to include? Day 2. Appearance· Hair color/cut - Eye color - Notable scars? How did they get them? Any tattoos? What do they represent? Day 3. Preferences· Favorite color?· What kinds of food do they like?· What is her Fashion Sense? What type of environment do they prefer spending time in?· Favorite type of music? · Genre of books? Vids?· Anything else that needs mentioned? Day 4. Service Record· Pre-Service History (Spacer, Earthborn, or Colonist): Psychological Profile (Sole Survivor, War Hero, or Ruthless): Training (class)? What made them pick that? Why did they join the military? Day 5. Personality· Overall summary of their personality Character strengths?· Character weaknesses?· Does your character grow at all during the game? Does anything change? Day 6. History/Character· Outside Game Canon, Did you expand on Shepard’s Past? What Language(s) does your Shepard speak? What Interests do they have? What Skills do they possess? Day 7. Fear· Does Shepard have any trival fears, like spiders or clowns?· What about more complex fears, like losing someone?· How do they deal with their fears? · Do they have any nightmares? What about? Day 8. Mass Effect 1 Squad· How does Shepard feel about their squadmates? Garrus- Tali- Liara- Wrex- Ashley- Kaidan- Day 9. Normandy SR-1 Crew What about the rest of the crew? Joker- Chakwas - Engineer Adams - Navigator Pressly - Jenkins- Day 10. Mass Effect 1 Romance· What’s your Shepard’s sexual orientation?· Who did they romance? What type of relationship is it/how do they handle the relationship(s)? Does Shepard and their romance have any interesting kinks?· What drew them to each other? What do they talk about? Day 11. Citadel· What were their initial thoughts about the Citadel? What is Shepard’s Relationship with the Council? What was the initial impression and future impressions of the people below: Anderson Udina Conrad Day 12. Mass Effect 1 Decisions· Did Shepard Recruit Everyone to her team? Did Shepard Save or Shut Down the Colony on Feros? Did Shepard Save or Kill the Rachni Queen? Did Shepard Save the Hostages or pursue Balak on the Asteroid? Does Wrex Live or Die on Virmire? Who did you save on Virmire and why? Did you Save the Destiny Ascension or Focus on Sovereign? Who did you Appoint to the Council and why? Day 13. Mass Effect 1 Reflection What was Shepard’s favorite Mission? Worst Mission? What was Shepard’s hardest decision? Favorite NPC? Day 14. Cerberus What were their initial thoughts about Cerberus bringing them back? What were their thoughts about working with Cerberus? How did Shepard change from when they were in the Alliance as a Spectre to working with Cerberus? What was Shepard’s relationship with the Illusive Man? Day 15. Faith and Death Does your Shepard believe in a religion? Why or why not?· How devout are they to their faith? Or how militant are they with their atheism?· How does Shepard feel about dying twice? Did they see anything? Day 16. Mass Effect 2 Squad· How does Shepard feel about their squadmates? How was their Reunion if from ME1? Garrus- Tali- Grunt - Thane- Jack- Miranda- Jacob- Legion- Samara &/or Morinth- Mordin- Kasumi - Zaeed- Day 17. Normandy SR-2 Crew How does Shepard feel about the rest of the crew? Joker- Chakwas - Kelly Chambers- Kenneth Donnely & Gabriella Daniels- Mess Sergeant Gardner - EDI- Did Shepard take care of her Fish? Were they able to keep them alive? Day 18. Old Squadmates How did Shepard feel about seeing their old squadmates? How was the reunion? Liara Kaidan or Ashley Wrex Day 19. Mass Effect 2 Romance· What’s your Shepard’s sexual orientation?· Who did they romance? Was there a love triangle? What type of relationship is it/how do they handle the relationship? If they romanced someone different, how do they feel about their old partner and what made them end the relationship? Does Shepard and their romance have any interesting kinks?· What drew them to each other? What do they talk about? Day 20. Mass Effect 2 Reflection What was Shepard’s favorite Mission? What was your favorite Loyalty Mission? What was Shepard’s hardest decision to make? Favorite NPC? Day 21. Mass Effect 3 Squad· How does Shepard feel about their squadmates? Garrus- Tali- Liara- Ashley or Kaidan- Javik - James Vega - EDI - Day 22. Normandy ME3 Crew What about the rest of the crew? Joker- Chakwas or Chloe Michel - Samantha Taynor - Steve Cortez- Engineer Adams - Diana Allers Day 23. Mass Effect 3 Romance· What’s your Shepard’s sexual orientation?· Who did they romance? Was there a love triangle? What type of relationship is it/how do they handle the relationship(s)? If they romanced someone different, how do they feel about their old partner? Did your Shepard have a hard time choosing between partners? Does Shepard and their romance have any interesting kinks?· What drew them to each other? What do they talk about? Day 24. Mass Effect 3 Decisions· Did they pick Destroy, Control, Synthesis, or Refuse? How did they feel when making their decision? If Shepard could leave any last message, what would they have said? If they pick Destroy and Lived, what happens to Shepard? Day 25. Mass Effect 3 Reflection What was Shepard’s favorite Mission? What was Shepard’s hardest decision to make? Favorite NPC? Day 26. Beliefs & Opinions What are Shepard’s opinions on the Genophage? What are Shepard’s opinions on the Quarian/Geth Conflict? What is Shepard’s favorite Alien Species? Day 27. R&R Does Shepard relax, or are they itching to get back into action?· Do they have any hobbies or talents?·. How often do they take a moment when they go to different planets? What do they do in different cities to relax?· What is Shepard’s alcohol tolerance? What does Shepard like to drink? Favorite way to relax? Day 28. Personal Style· What do they wear when they’re on duty? What about when they’re not? How do they decorate their cabin? · How do they dance, if at all? Are they clean or messy? Favorite Place on the Normandy? Favorite City? Day 29. Fighting Style· What was their favorite skill? Least favorite?· Favorite gun/guns?· How are they in hand to hand combat?· Do they tend to rush in or stay back and dictate action? Day 30. Mako Was your Shepard a good driver?· Favorite driving terrain? Least favorite? What Squadmates hated or loved traveling in the Mako Day 31. Ending What happens to your old companions after the final decision? How does the Day of the Final Decision go down in history? What was Shepard’s saddest or most difficult moment? Day 32. Face to Face How much of your Shepard is based off of you? Where are you alike? Where do you differ?· Would you get along with your Shepard? What would you do if you spent the day together? Day 33. Playlist· Find any number of songs that you feel fit your character, their relationship with any of their companions, or a specific moment in their story. List them here.

[nothisis-ridiculous]

Take Me Home Now: Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen: Teardrop In My Eye

Set after the events of ME3.

A rewrite. Ao3.

FemShepxKaidan

"Smith, you are being relieved of duty."

"Sir?" Jane stumbled, her smile turned downward.

The man laughed, clapping her on the shoulder, "only for the day, thought it would get you."

She sneered, "always an ass."

"Though," his green eyes sparkled, it was not settling, "you have company."

Fuck.

She pulled the elastic from her hair, attempting to pull her blonde locks from the day-long wear of a ponytail. In the end, it was pointless, she had thrown it up wet- a braid would have to hide the indent. Jane could do nothing for the simple hoodie and slacks she had thrown into her locker that morning. Forcing herself to take a seat, she pulled in slow breaths until her mind took heed. It was small potatoes.

Gingerly, she finished the jaunt outside of the Human Embassy and combination C-Sec building.

Evelyn slammed into her side, a good three inches added to the kid, "we're going to space!"

"We would have rang, but you know," Roy pointed to his wrist, his smile cautious.

Jane had avoided anything technology-related, she would have done it much earlier in her life if it were not for necessity. This was an old game, the response a sheepish smile. It was an act of avoidance. But she was trying to do the moving on thing: she had an apartment and a stable job. Sure, it was working as a guard for the relay that led to the Citadel, but it was moving in a direction she was comfortable... if not bored doing. It involved a lot of people watching, as using the relay was not the most sophisticated way to the station. The last person had fallen in drunk and almost drowned upon arrival. Now it functioned more as a memorial for all those lost in the war. She kept the peace and that was enough.

"Are you here to visit the Memorial?" Jane jabbed her finger toward the building, it would give her an excuse to spend some time with them. To clear the air.

Rahna suggested she may be ready.

"We're here to see you, silly!" Evelyn cooed, taking the woman's face in her hands, "you're a little less glowy."

"You're a little less short."

Evelyn returned with a moderately careful headbutt. Helen didn't look too approving as the child sauntered away but cracked a grin. Roy still couldn't manage a full smile.

Jane needed to clear another thing.

"What did you need me for?" she was careful, trying not to let the statement come out in a bark. These visits would always end in the same question, and it was getting harder to say no.

"We're hoping you'd watch our place while we are gone, " Helen finally chimed in, the stern look had softened over months. The strange silence between them never improved much, "we know it's sudden, but if we didn't have to go through Rahna to-"

"Helen," Roy soothed.

"We got it all approved, and we'd even pay you on top of it."

"I'm sure the beam won't miss you-" he paled at his words.

"I'm sure Harold won't miss you-" Roy tried to diffuse Jane's bubbling before it could erupt. The hand on her elbow gripped tighter as she tugged away. It devolved to his full strength pulling around her as she screamed, pleading that they didn't take the Reaper away. Bargaining became a barrage of hate and seething words, still, he held his recruit tightly until she collapsed.

If it was once, the guilt might have faded.

But Jane was stubborn, requiring steady arms until the derelict ship was nothing but an imprint in the ground. The woman didn't leave the crater left behind for the next day, her gaze avoiding him at all costs.

Jane looked up, if only to avoid the sudden turn of emotion, "I suppose it wouldn't."

When this is over, I'm going to be waiting for you. You'd better show up.

Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna fight like hell for the chance to hold you again.

"Is that a yes?"

His evident enthusiasm worked a giggle from the blonde, "it would probably do me good to get out of this city. I heard the English Bay is nice." Jane offered out a hand to him.

Roy swallowed her into a tight embrace, disregarding if the simple gesture was out of forgiveness or striking a deal. It had been far too long, and his recruit been left far too long without proper fatherly affection. Or he was giddy from good news, it was hard to tell.

"When do we need to leave?"

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Jane examined the scattering of personal items in the apartment. Living light on military ships (excepting pets) followed her through to civilian life. Everything she owned could fit into a footlocker without fancy folding. A knife for whittling if she got bored. Shower supplies, her underwhelming supply of clothing, the M-77 because why not. But her eyes stopped on her bedside.

A blank picture frame and the chit to an omnitool would be innocuous to anyone else. It was everything in the world she refused to touch but couldn't look away from. Was it love for her own misery? Or owning up to herself. That other person knocked. She wasn't ready. Couldn't she be ready?

Her fingers graced over the chit, watching it light and unfold. The device would only unlock for an authorized user, and somehow she was that user. Anderson's face popped in on the screen. The panicked expression was no longer a surprise as he searched for something out of shot from the recording, but his eyes eventually returned to the device.

"Shepard, I-"

Jane cut it off, the device flickering away as quickly as it formed. It was two words further than the last attempt. It would have to count as progress.

The picture frame came next, but not even a jolt of power betrayed a change. It was empty, devoid. Still, as if it was familiar, her thumb caressed over the glass surface.

"Kaidan, I-"

Jane's throat seized, the name was still hard to form, "eight hundred and fifty-one days. Tomorrow will mark eight hundred and fifty-two days."

She had long surpassed the days he had in waiting for her not to be dead. She had kept her promise. She had waited, was waiting. Now, Jane had to go. The landlord given notice, her job with a note of apology attached to a resignation letter. Jane felt afraid.

"I'm sorry."

The picture flickered to life, the bubbling of the tank behind her a dull murmur. It took a few rounds, but she settled into the chair, staring at the frame like it was supposed to do something. Her ear tilted for the door, hoping that it would slide open. Wasn't that how the time before a suicide mission was supposed to go? A last-minute confession, sex to blow off some steam before the genuine threat of death.

Mary was waiting, nor would she question the miracle that would have to bring him here.

"Shepard, I could patch you through," Edi chimed in gently.

Slow breathing, counting, clenching her jaw and releasing it kept her busy for five minutes before she let herself consider it. It was her way to leave him on unread, but is that how she wanted to go out again? Was that immaturity the memory she wanted to leave for Kaidan? In the same thought, a call wasn't mature either, but if she died the shame would be short-lived after all. She wanted nothing more than to hear his voice, to feel something akin to comfort. Mary was afraid.

"Edi, send the c-"

Her tool blipped, "I've already programmed a block."

"Thank you, Edi."

Mary fawned over the code, re-entering it several times until she felt a little less panicked. The first attempt ended a few counts after the tool attempted the connection. She shouldn't. What could her greed jeopardize?

She settled back in her chair, sending herself through another wave of madness. The email running through her mind again. She didn't want that to be the last thing she heard from him. Besides, what was he to Cerberus if she was gone? Her greed entered the number again, this time it patched through. Connecting, connecting, connecting until it timed out.

Mary held back on questioning Edi.

She waited again, promising herself this would be the last try. 'Connection' scrawled on the screen within seconds.

"Hello?"

Kaidan's voice was groggy, his rasp evident that he had just woken wherever he was.

"Hello?" he tried again, with mild frustration.

"Look, this is a secured-," he spat, but his voice dropped, "if this isn't- if this- dammit."

The voice waited, but Mary was frozen. She hadn't planned a word, this was a terrible idea. Stupid.

"This is a little insane," he let out a small chuckle, "and will look bad if this just ends up on the extranet. But, just in case," he paused again, pulling in a steadying breath, "if it's what, who, I think it is. Really, the Omega 4 relay? I-I thought Ilos was bad, that is a whole new level of-"

Kaidan cut himself off, waiting, questioning if he should continue. But it made a strange kind of sense. Who else could it be? She wouldn't call unless it were dire.

"Whatever you are doing, be careful. The galaxy needs you back, I ne- just, be careful."

Both parties lulling to sleep at the memory.

Jane set the frame down, it could be a gift for the next tenant. Perhaps they could program it with something/ The chit slipped into her pocket, her gaze winding to the door. She waited, shook her head, and swept up the handles of the black footlocker. Again, Jane stared at the door. Praying for a miracle.

The rigors of hauling the footlocker at a clipped pace down several flights of stairs did nothing to stop the shaking. Echoes of footsteps turned into the voices of her crew, the bad, the ugly, and all of the good memories. Garrus's mandible quivering in silent frustration as she made the shot atop the presidium, Tali's indignation at the 'induction port' as she tried to slip it into her suit. Liara always deep in thought, scanning over the work of the Shadow Broker, Javik who never got his wish of dying with the rest of his kind. Vega's shock as she decimated his pull-up record, and Edi taking up Joker's hand in a quiet moment. Tears splattered on the steps. Was this the end?

She couldn't stop them as she stepped into the light of day, awaited by three figures.

"That's all?" Roy huffed, taking the luggage from her.

Helen placed a hand on her shoulder, "it will get easier."

The older woman forced Jane to look her in the eyes, dark brown meeting blue, "you should make the call."

"But you-"

"You know Roy won't let it go until you're all settled."

The LT was always worried about her, even if they weren't on speaking terms. Jane knew all she had to do was reach out, but the pang of guilt was too much. It was always this way, and her soul grew tired of the mind that housed it.

This was a horrible way to treat the family that kept coming back for her months after they had returned home to Vancouver. They kept worrying when she struggled to care about herself. They kept asking her to return home with them, to give her a new life. They hadn't stopped loving her after every no, despite her asinine rigidity to an old promise. Despite the lingering secrets she barely kept from them. Jane was sick of herself, too.

Jane nodded, pulling in a deep breath.

"It will get better," Helen murmured, "after you've taken the time to be pissed off for a while."

She didn't fight a grin, nodding again just to make sure she was assured. Leaving the woman to enter the room her fingers didn't hesitate this time. Entering the code she had memorized too long ago.

Three calls later- silence was her answer.

Unable to save face, Jane stormed past Helen.

"I'm sorry for how I left last time," her head hung, but this time she returned the touch, briefly touching the hand on her shoulder.

The older woman shrugged, pointing her at the shuttle.

Jane nodded, wasting no further time by sliding into the back. Evelyn chattered into her ear; Jane tried to keep paying attention but found her mind wandering. The familiar stirring of her stomach starting within moments of take-off. She had grown a little used to a hardsuit that would deliver the meds into her system.

The paper bag landed in her hands without a word.

The vehicle fell silent, save for the buzzing of the radio-

"The Normandy returns to the Citadel after a Victory run spanning over-"

"The Normandy is back?" Jane bleated meekly through the bag.

"Oh- yeah! Our son made it," Roy smiled, but it was partially forced, "sounds like this 'Shepard' wasn't so lucky."

Jane's stomach emptied into the bag, Happy Birthday Shepard.

[kadeuxhyeonju]

Rip Out My Heart

*TW: child abuse, violence, mentions of mental abuse (with kitsune illusions), emotional abuse ~all under “keep reading”

Self-Para-- (REALLY LONG--last one for a while) 

Kadeu, Hearts Territory, Heart Side of The Joker Lee Hyeonju, Teenager, Night of Defection

Hyeonju did not look back. With his feet now standing over the invisible line that marked one faction from another, the young man’s wrist, only moments before marked with a Seven, was now emblazoned with a One. He’d done it. He’d finally summoned the courage, the audacity to walk away from Spade—from his mother. Now he walked to the end of the Joker, into Heart, stood at the edge, waiting.

“Well, look at that.” Hyeonju whipped his head toward a nearby alley. A man adorned in the most beautiful of garments stepped out into the lights given off by the nighttime businesses of Heart. Park Minjun. His father and a newly promoted Jack of Hearts. ”Our Lil Kit is growing up, defecting and making trouble. I didn’t think you’d do it.” Hyeonju prickled at the name. He didn’t like being called that. But it was his father and he respected—feared—him so he kept his voice even and controlled. “I did what I needed to do.” His father laughed at that. “Your face says otherwise, Lil Kit. Well, it doesn’t matter. You’re a Heart now. When Spade finds out you defected you won’t be welcomed back.”

Hyeonju refused to look behind him toward the dark streets of Spade. He refused to regret his choice. This was his one and only chance for freedom. He looked up at his father only to notice the stunning colors and sounds that came to life in the nighttime of Heart behind the Kitsune. He smiled, hope glittering in his eyes. “That’s okay. I don’t want to go back.” His father smiled with something akin to pride and ruffled the young man’s hair with his clawed hands—he seemed to relish showing off his foxy features; Hyeonju had no idea what he looked like without them. “That’s my Kit. Alright, follow me and we’ll make sure you rise to the top in no time.” Hyeonju’s feet carried him forward until he was swallowed by the temptations of Heart.

Hyeonju, Teenager, Heart Territory, Rank 1, End of First Year

“Is this a joke to you, Lil Shit?” Hyeonju was sprawled on the ground, his body wracked with shivers and pains too numerous to count. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a decent meal. He lived off the leftovers those of higher rank tossed in the trash bins or on the ground. He hadn’t eaten a human since his mother’s last meal for him in Spade before he’d promptly snuck out of the barracks and defected. His Kistune powers were nowhere to be found. The only reason he’d lasted this long without succumbing to the drugs and thievery rampant in Heart was no doubt because of his Strongarm blood. He didn’t have the species’ strength, but their endurance and hardiness seemed to be working just fine. After all, the kicks and punches his father was doling out didn’t leave him broken like he knew it would full-blooded Kitsune.

Minjun looked down on him in disgust. They were in an alleyway somewhere in the High Rankers’ district. His father, realizing that Hyeonju had failed to rise to even a Two, had hauled the teenager from where he’d found him hiding next to a trash can and given the hybrid the thrashing of his life. Word was getting around—Lee Hyeonju, Spade Deserter, had failed to rise in rank among the Hearts. Now Park Minjun, sponsor and father to the child, was suffering the consequences.

Now Hyeonju was suffering, too.

Why haven’t you risen in rank, huh? I’ve provided you every opportunity, your mother gave you the combat skills, I gave you the art of etiquette and business. All you had to do was earn some quick cash, you Lil Shit. All you needed was to follow what I taught you. And you couldn’t even do that much. You’re a failure, Hyeonju!” Hyeonju mumbled something. “What was that? Speak louder, Lil Kit. I know we didn’t teach you to mumble.”

“I said I can’t do it!” Hyeonju yelled, lifting his head from the ground to reveal the desperation and defeat in his features. His father looked at him for a moment before bursting into laughter, but it wasn’t amused, not in the slightest. He grabbed Hyeonju by the back of the neck and lifted him so they were eye to eye. “You can’t do it?” the soft voice sent a ripple of fear through the young hybrid. He knew what came from this voice, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. The illusions his father created were levels beyond his own.

And they were terrifying.

The horror was inescapable so long as his father held him in place and Hyeonju was forced to endure it. By the time his father lifted the illusion, his son was a pile of fear and despair. Minjun looked down on him coldly. “You’re weak, Hyeonju. You won’t eat humans because you feel bad. You won’t steal because it’s dishonest. You won’t lie or get angry or cheat or charm or do JACK SHIT because you’re a weak lil bastard. You have some of the biggest potential given what we’ve taught you, but you can’t be bothered to use it. Let me give you a word of advice, my precious son. Kindness is weakness. Love and empathy and honor will get you killed. And even if you were to give those useless feelings of yours to another,” Minjun bent down and whispered, “someone like you will never receive it. You’re unlovable, Lee Hyeonju. Your mother and I are proof of that. You’ll die here in the gutters, unloved and forgotten by the world. Gods know I certainly won’t bother to think of you.”

At that, Hyeonju lifted his head and tears streamed down his face as he realized what his father was about to do. “Wait, father, please—don’t!” But it was too late. His father’s back was towards him, polished boots striding at a smooth and steady pace away from his son and toward the bustling, clean streets of Heart. “Don’t ever contact me, Lil Jun. If you do, I’ll kill you and throw your corpse to a manabeast. Let a hunter find you in their catch’s belly. Better yet, I’ll throw you in the nearest river and watch you sink. Feed the fish. You’re more useful dead, right?” Even with those threats hanging over his head, Hyeonju tried to give chase, but the pain from the pummeling and the mental exhaustion from the torturous illusions sent the hybrid sprawling in the dirt, unseen by the world.

Hyeonju was left to stare at the rolling grey clouds, a reflection of his emotions, his life. It seemed to be a never-ending sky of grey and rain and storms that shook him until his soul was scattered petals in the wind, until those pieces landed under the privileged feet of Kadeu and were grounded unawares to the persons above. Hyeonju had given up his life in Spade—risked the wrath of his mother, the ridicule of his father. He had seen the wealth and laughter and freedom granted in Heart and thought that maybe—just maybe—he could find a place among these colorful folk with their finery and elegant airs and boastful minds. All he had found this past year was a well of lies hidden behind jeweled masks and calculated smiles and cold, assessing gazes who saw Hyeonju as a commodity rather than a living being.

He lay there for an eternity, his father’s words like a mantra seeping its way beneath his skin to wrap around his heart, stitching itself into his very essence. When he had the strength to lift himself from the ground, the Rank One trudged his way back to the dregs of Heart. There he found the half-starved populace of Low Ranker humans too weak to survive in a world full of species who surpassed them in every way. Hyeonju wasn’t far from becoming like them, weak as he was. His stomach rumbled. When was the last time he ate? He glanced at the huddled figures, paused, then shook his head and continued on. He couldn’t do it. Not even to keep himself alive. Shame rose within him. He dug through the trash bins later that night. Eating half-eaten���something, Hyeonju huddled in a corner as thunder roared overhead, alone and forgotten.

Hyeonju, 152, Heart Territory, Vega Gem Apartment, Now, Rank Ten

The lightening could be seen flashing around the edges of the black-out curtains cloaking the windows of Hyeonju’s condo. The man himself was sitting on his bed with his back against the wall. The storms seemed to be never-ending—and the memories that came with them. He wrapped the blankets around himself. Below the sheets, his hands fiddled with a dagger, old but well-cared for. His eyes remained unblinking, body shuddering at the rumble of thunder the only indication the Ten of Heart was alive—though not well.

The memories assaulted him, made his body tense as if he were reliving each moment again and again and again. All the while, Hyeonju couldn’t help but think in the back of his mind how ironic his life was. He had defected Spade to escape the pain his mother had caused, the scorn of his fellow Spades for not sharing the same pride they did. He had firmly believed that by joining Hearts, working hard, he’d achieve freedom, happiness. Hyeonju would never have to fight, never lie, never feel fear or anger if he could just make it to the top running on his pure, naive values.

What a joke. Not only had the hybrid failed to gain the freedom he so desperately sought, but he was plagued by the horrors he’d endured as a Low Ranker. He learned to beg, steal, lie, cheat, fight, kill. He made money and gained power off the backs of humans he consumed and throwing others, human and and everything in between, under the carriage.

Hyeonju had become everything he hated and more.

Hyeonju didn’t regret surviving, didn’t regret his choices because there was no point. Even if he’d been granted a second chance to make a different decision, he wasn’t sure he’d change anything because there was no guarantee he would be better off. At least in this life, he knew the hand he was dealt and could adapt as needed. Nonetheless, Hyeonju found himself haunted by faces of humans he’d beckoned to dark corners with trusting, beguiling eyes and pretty illusions only for their expressions to take on terror as he slaughtered them like cattle, consuming them with a desperation he couldn’t shake. He remembered the nights at the Red Dragon and Secret Room full of patrons seeking his physical company and all the pleasures they could afford with their bags of coins. Some were kind, most were...not. He remembers the words tossed at him for being everything he was. He can even pinpoint the exacts moments when pieces of himself he’d cherished fell off him like rusted, useless armor.

The memories, brought on by the tumultuous downpour and raging thunder, made the Ten of Heart want to scream. But he didn’t. His parents had taught him screaming was for the weak. Crying was for those who refused to do nothing to save themselves. So he held it in, though a part of him--a huge part of him--wanted nothing more than to let it all out, to have someone listen and not lift a hand in violence towards him or throw poison-laced insults his way or laugh.

He glanced at the amulet sitting on the pillow beside him. Maybe he could call for one of his friends. Max? She had no idea what he’d gone through in Hearts. Nari? She was plagued with traumas of her own. He wouldn’t dare to burden her with his. Sullivan? The man was as gentle as they came. He couldn’t bear the thought of sharing something so painful with someone so kind. Hyeonju raked his head for somebody—anybody to call, but each was met with the same thought—who would come? Who would understand? Among those who did—which would love him, despite all the terrible things he was made of?

You’re unloveable, Lee Hyeonju.

Thunder slammed against his ears, he closed his eyes. No tears threatened to spill—he’d forgotten how to do that long ago. He took the amulet from his pillow, stared at it, tossed it toward the kitchen where he heard it clatter against the floor. He pulled the blanket over his head and pulled the knife close to his chest. The storm raged on.

[faejilly]

Replies to “Reticence”

@janoda said:

I love this so much!!! My heart ached!

#LIGHTWOOD FAMILY FEELS FOREVER

/Persuasion feels forever too, tbqh, tho this bit is obviously not much of an Elliot cognate. Perhaps it fits, though, for how Lady Russell felt about Anne’s father and sister in comparison to her mother?

@princess-shepherdess said:

Malec and Persuasion fusion are the match made in heaven tbh. Second chances! Two people in love finding their way back to each other! YES GOOD MORE OF THAT!! Alec as Anne Elliott is a delight. Maryse as Lady Russell is also an interesting choice because I’ve got so many conflicting feelings about both of them.

I’m also intrigued by Magnus in this universe and maybe a little bit worried; ngl I’ve never been very fond of Captain Wentworth  

I really quite like Lady Russell because she does mean well, she loves Anne with all her heart and she truly thought she was helping. (She wasn’t, obviously, but there’s a reason Anne never thinks there’s even anything to forgive, though obviously Frederick had some different opinions there.)

And yes! Anne is my favorite for many of the same reasons Alec is, perception and self-worth and external validation issues that are so related... though she’s not quite as salty 😅

I’m not sure what to do with the second half of that because I love Wentworth beyond rhyme or reason? If it helps, you can do a correlation with their temper; Magnus is quite capable of being vengefully petty after all, and Wentworth refuses to see Anne how she is when they meet again in the future, largely because he’s still holding on to how much Anne hurt him.

/the fact that she hurt herself more is not a thing he would have any way of knowing, really, though perhaps it should have been obvious to anyone who knew her well. But he perhaps didn’t know her as well as he thought? It was not a terribly long romance, the first time ‘round.

and @sharona1x2, I saw those lovely tags, I can rant about Magnus & Persuasion forever and ever feel free to ask any time *laughs*

(and wow I’m behind on my replies, this uh. keeps going. for awhile. sorry?)

Replies to Luis de Vega/Isabel de Flores:

@leahazel said:

Augh my HEART. After doing de Vega’s romance and then going back and seeing him at his worst, it was so PAINFUL. I love this.

agony.gif

(thank you)

@teaandinanity said:

Your answer for knight and prince(ss) filled me with squishy feelings, just - not being able to cross lines because he knows he’ll have to meet her eyes the next day? That SO PERFECTLY SUMS UP the beauty of that route and I think I have to replay now.

whoo! I AM ALWAYS HAPPY TO BE BLAMED FOR REPLAYS

/and also agony, see above *laughs*

Replies to “F, I, and/or L?”

@shadoedseptmbr said:

:D:D:D:D i asked because I *KNOW* you’re a dialogue addict and I adore you for it! *evilgrin* Butoh, that’s perfect.  Joker as a screwball comedy hero, I love it. <3

I mean, I can see him dangling off a dinosaur skeleton and swearing? That seems entirely in character :D (Or trying to hide a torn dress with his fancy hat. Basically, apparently, I need to watch Bringing Up, Baby again. As Always.)

Replies to “F, Q, and R”

@tarysande said:

I did not ask for these Feelings, jilly ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

WELL YOU CAN HAVE THEM ANYWAY, SORRY NOT SORRY 🥰

@jadesabre301 said:

JILLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :O :O :O :O :O :O :O AUGH <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

ilu2 😘

Replies to WIP GAME

@stillwaitingformagic said:

Can I just say, I’m sold on your Wing!fic wip? Like if you end up finishing and posting it, I will definitely read this. The idea of Alec’s wings flirting with Magnus with a s1 Alec attached to them is pure gold. I think the idea or fake-hating is interesting 🧐it’s a nice twist. Also… don’t mind if I go check out your Mer-curse series 💨

WHY THANK YOU ON ALL COUNTS!

And yes, I love the idea of wing!fic, I’m glad other people do too, I’m just bad at actually writing atm. 😅😭😐🤷🏻‍♀️

@la-muerta said:

I would read demon!Magnus contemplating priest!Alec’s feelings/thoughts/beliefs on faith!                      

YAY. I am enjoying it, I just have no idea where I’m going if it’s no longer slightly heretical smut in front of the angel stained glass 🤣

Replies to “Anonymous asked: wip meme :)”

@angelrtsy95 said:

oh i just made an absolutely inhuman sound at the last paragraph of the amnesia!fic section…. I want to read so much more of that

to be clear all of them sound amazing, i just especially love the /angst/ 

awww, thank you (istg, that’s not even that angsty? In comparison? I mean. It’s a sequel to the “he died” after all.)

[ameliasnormandy]

Pirates and Shepard

She was about to ask the question that always seemed to plague her mind when she heard it. An alarm. “What was that?”

              “Not sure,” Kaiden said, walking to her door. “Stay here.”

              “Like hell,” Shepard said, already grabbing for her helmet. “I am the captain of this ship. I am not sitting on the sidelines.”

              “You are also…” Kaiden began and then was not able to finish his words.

              “I am also what?” Shepard asked.

              Kaiden wanted to tell her the truth, but something seemed wrong. Something seemed impossible to explain. It was as if the words that he wanted to say were stuck in his throat. Shepard could see that something was wrong. She could see that there was something that he needed to tell her, but for some reason his words refused to come out, so instead he said, “Stay close.”

              “You too,” was the only thing she responded with.

………………..

              “What is going on?” Shepard asked, running up to Miranda.

              “It’s just pirates, I think,” Miranda said, looking behind Shepard to look at Kaiden. There was a look of how did you let her out, and Shepard caught it, but said nothing.

              Shepard focused on what Miranda said. “Pirates? Attacking an Alliance Vessel? Seems a bit brazen of them we aren’t even near the scourge.”

              “Pirates have gotten more brazen since you left,” Kaiden stated.

              “Why?” Shepard asked, looking at everyone else on the ship.

              “Because no one has been able to stop them.”

              “What do you mean by that?”

              “We have had other things to focus on,” Kaiden said, looking at her as the specter that he was.

              “I get that,” Shepard said. She knew that there was more to the story, but knew that it wasn’t the time to ask. Nor was it really her right. Yes, she was once again Captain. She was once again the person that everyone looked to, but this time felt different. “What do we do about these ones?”

              “We take them out,” Jacob said, walking up to everyone.

              “Is there no other option?” Shepard asked.

              “Not with them,” Jacob asked, looking at Kaiden and Miranda. Now, it was perfectly clear that there was more going on than Shepard could ignore, but she could keep an eye on them without asking a question.

              “Alright. So, I’ll lead a small strike team and take them out from the inside.”

              “We should go instead,” Miranda said, looking at Kaiden and Jacob.

              “Commander Shepard, you need to come and look at this,” Joker said.

              Shepard ran up to Joker. “What’s going on?”

              “There is another one coming up on our left.”

              “Congratulations, Miranda you have just been given the opportunity to take the strike team into one of the ships, and I’ll take the other.”

………………..

              Jack, Vega, and Shepard all stood looking out the window. Vega and Jack kept exchanging glances. “What is with you two?” Shepard asked. Neither of them answered. Shepard looked at them. They too knew the secret, though it seemed that the whole galaxy knew the secret, and if the whole galaxy knows a secret it can’t be a secret.

………………..

              “When are we going to tell her?” Joker asked over the speakers of the second ship.

              “Never,” Jacob, Kaiden and Miranda said together.

              Joker seemed to not say anything for a moment. He seemed to be deciding what he should say. There were so many things that he could say, but the only thing that he was able to come up with was, “It doesn’t seem right.”

              “We are doing this to protect the galaxy,” Kaiden said.

              “We are doing it to protect the Alliance,” Jacob said.

              “We are doing it to protect humanity,” Miranda stated.

              “We are doing it to protect Shepard,” the three of them said together.

              Joker’s voice broke for a second, but just a second. “She will find out eventually.”

……………….

              “I’ll go first and then you follow,” Vega said, looking at Jack and then at Commander Shepard.

              Shepard shook her head. “I’ll go first, and you follow. Just as it was before.” There were some things that Shepard had decided that she wanted to keep. This was one of them. This was one of the things that she refused to change. She might be older and somehow less wise, but she still had some sense to her. She was still Commander Shepard after all. She could still do a lot of things. She still could control everything and she was not going to lose her team, because she wouldn’t do what she knew that she had to.

              “Not a good idea,” Jack stated.

              Shepard looked at Jack for a second. “Why?” Jack refused to say anything. “Exactly. Now, if you don’t mind, I will be leading.”

…………………

              “I really hope that they aren’t letting her lead,” Jacob said, shaking his head.

              “They are,” Miranda and Kaiden said, together. They didn’t need to look at each other. They didn’t need to do anything, except know.

              “Why do you think that?” Jacob asked, looking at the two of them.

              “Because that is who she is,” Kaiden said, shaking his head. He had seen it too many times for him not to know that.

[veorlian]

Idolatry - Renewal

Pairing: Garrus Vakarian/Female Shepard

Rating: T for swearing and stabbing.

Summary: Citadel DLC, Part 2/3. Conclusion to the clone fight, hanging out with friends, and date night.

ao3 link

Excerpt:

“Legion, you know I’ve never played a video game before,” she said wryly. She was sitting on one of her too-large couches as Legion fiddled with the television.

“Acknowledged. Based on previous experience, the adequate response to this statement is ‘git gud, scrub,’ although I have been unable to ascertain its exact meaning,” Legion replied.

.

It was quiet in the cargo bay. Too damn quiet. Shepard paused just outside of the elevator door, listening. Since she’d gotten the cybernetic upgrades, she’d grown accustomed to dampening her senses. The first few days after her resurrection it had been almost impossible to move without being bombarded with sounds, smells, sights that sent her to her reeling. Now, she tuned back in. She closed her eyes, and she listened.

It was never entirely silent on a ship. The gentle, ever-present hum of the Normandy was a high-pitched whine, now that EDI wasn’t in control. It made Shepard wince. She could hear Garrus’ breathing, and her own uneven heartbeat. 

And she could hear faint breathing, up and to the left. Her lips curled in a humourless smile.

“You might as well give up,” Shepard called. “You’ve lost.”

“I haven’t lost anything.” The clone’s voice echoed off the walls, impossible to pinpoint. But Shepard could hear her footsteps now, circling around. Shepard motioned for Garrus and EDI to stay where they were, and she slowly moved into the room.

“And yet here you are, hiding from me like a coward. What’s the matter, little girl, are you scared? You should be. You should be terrified.” The footsteps grew stronger, closer together, nearer. 

The razor-sharp edge of the clone’s omni-tool came whistling towards Shepard’s face, but Shepard easily countered it with her own. The sound of the blades clashing echoed across the room. 

“You may look like me,” Shepard breathed, “but I’ve forgotten more ways to kill than you’ll ever learn.”

“I’m going to enjoy killing you,” the clone spat. The fluorescent orange of the omni-blades reflected onto the clone’s face. It was a damn shame for her, really, that Shepard knew all of her own tells.

“I’m sure you’re used to disappointment by now,” Shepard said softly, and she shoved the clone away, hard. The next second she was invisible, and booking it towards EDI and Garrus at the back of the room. She ducked into cover behind the requisitions terminal. The cargo bay, Shepard realized belatedly, was a shit place to have a fight. From there, it was impossible to get a good fix on any of the oncoming enemies. Apparently they had no trouble hitting her though; a grenade arced through the air and exploded next to her, sending flames licking up her armour.

“Shit,” she hissed. She tucked into a combat roll away from the fire. She rose to her feet and a fist connected with her bruised ribs. Shepard stumbled back as her clone materialized in front of her. Damn it, she was supposed to be a long-range fighter, what the hell was up with all the melee? Shepard feinted to the left before delivering a swift upper-cut to her clone’s jaw. 

She should’ve delivered a swift upper-cut, but the clone wasn’t there anymore. Shepard felt an arm around her neck, choking her. Fuck that.

Shepard got a grip on her clone’s arms and then brought her torso down, sending the clone slamming into the ground. Shepard swung her Widow around and got the clone in the chest, point-blank. The clone faded into invisibility again and was gone. Damn it.

A handful of mercs raced away from the fight, climbing into the Kodiak shuttle. The hatch to the cargo bay opened and they sped away. In their haste, they left the door open. The wind whipped through Shepard’s hair, sending it flying into her face. She impatiently pushed it away. 

“Just give up, will you? You’re past your best-before date. I’m the new and improved version, without the scarring and annoying moral code,” the clone shouted. Shepard was having a bit of an out of body experience. It’s one thing to have doubts about yourself, it’s an entirely different experience to hear them repeated back to you in your own damn voice.

“Was that supposed to be an insult? I earned these scars on Feros, and Noveria, and Ilos, and Thessia, and Rannoch! You got yours out of a petri dish.” Her voice rang clear through the cargo bay. What was it she’d said to Zaeed? You’re just a collection of scars held together by spite. Maybe they had that in common.

“You’re just a mediocre soldier with a lucky streak.”

“Then what does it say about you that I’m kicking your ass?” Shepard shouted back. She finally caught her clone in her sights, and got her in the leg with a shot from the Widow. Her clone stumbled, and Shepard raced forward, tackling her to the ground. They rolled together down the open ramp until they came to rest almost at the bottom. Shepard’s clone reared up, her fist hurtling towards Shepard’s face. The ship rocked violently, sending them flying. They both ended up holding onto the edge of the cargo bay door, nothing but a steep drop beneath them.

“Why you and not me? What makes you so damn special?” Shepard felt a small twinge of guilt at the pain in her clone’s voice.

“Shepard, hold on! We’ve got you!” Garrus yelled. He and EDI hurried down the ramp and hauled her back to safety. She looked down to her clone. There’s always a choice, Commander Shepard, and it matters that you choose to help.

“Take my hand,” Shepard said. She saw her clone glance up the walkway. Looking for Brooks, maybe. Whatever she saw made her face fall.

“And then what?” she snapped.

“And then you live. Show me what you’re made of, Shepard,” Shepard said. Not a sentence she’d ever expected to say, but apparently it was just that kind of day.

Her clone looked up at her sharply.

“You’ll regret this,” she said. “It’ll come back to bite you in the ass.”

“I regret a lot of things. Now take my damn hand.”

And she did.

They caught Brooks not long after. Cortez, who had apparently been engaged in some fancy flying to keep the ship from leaving, led her forward in handcuffs.

“Caught this one trying to leave,” he said. “Alliance is going to lock her up tight.”

“Shepard,” Brooks purred, “I’m sure we can put all this unpleasantness behind us.”

“I’m not in a particularly forgiving mood,” Shepard replied. Or General Shepard? We’ll deal with her. Her hands balled up into fists.

“But wasn’t it fun to have someone running around, being in awe of you? Admit it, you’re going to miss me.” Shepard could hear the gentle tap of Brooks' hands on her restraints. She leaned down, until she was level with Brooks’ eyes. 

“You’re going to go along quietly with the Alliance, and you’re going to stay the hell away from me and the people I care about,” Shepard said, her voice forged in iron and steel

“Aww, is the great Commander Shepard pleading for her life?”

“I’m pleading for yours.” It was barely above a murmur. The tapping stopped.

“Very well,” Brooks said at last. “Till we meet again, Commander.”

“Rot in hell, Staff Analyst Maya Brooks,” Shepard suggested.

“Hey, maybe now you can actually have some shore leave,” Garrus said wryly as they exited the ship. Shepard snorted.

“I doubt it, but I suppose stranger things have happened,” she said.

“You can goddamn say that again,” Joker said fervently. Shepard gently clapped him on the shoulder.

“C’mon Joker, it could’ve been worse,” she said.

“How? How could it have been worse?”

“There could have been Collectors.”

“Hey, when the “Best Commanding Officer Awards” come up, don’t expect a nomination from me.”

“Noted. Can I interest you in some sushi?” The resentful silence was answer enough, and Shepard grinned wryly. As punishment, Joker refused to let her drive. He dropped her off at her apartment, but not before insisting that she needed to throw some kind of party.

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

“What was that? Couldn't hear you!” He revved the engine loudly to drown out her protests.

“Damn it, Joker!”

“And you owe me dinner! No knives this time!”

“No promises!” she shouted as he drove away.

Shepard didn’t do vacations. Fourteen years with the Alliance and she’d been on shore leave a handful of times, each more catastrophic than the last. The last time had been a few months before she’d died. She’d started two bar fights and had to be put on unofficial lockdown for a few days. The time before that they'd caught her sneaking back onto the ship. To be honest, having her evil clone try and steal the Normandy was just the natural progression of the Shepard Hates Vacations conundrum. 

Still, it wasn’t every day that almost every person you’d ever cared about was kicking around the same place that you were. The Normandy was in drydock for another few days, and so Shepard made the most of it. 

“Legion, you know I’ve never played a video game before,” she said wryly. She was sitting on one of her too-large couches as Legion fiddled with the television.

“Acknowledged. Based on previous experience, the adequate response to this statement is ‘git gud, scrub,’ although I have been unable to ascertain its exact meaning,” Legion replied.

“Uh huh. Got it. So then what are we playing?”

“Vega-Lieutenant suggests that you would enjoy playing Blasto: Hero of the Citadel.”

“Vega’s an asshole, don’t you listen to him.”

“Anatomically unlikely on both fronts.” The corners of Shepard’s mouth twitched up.

“What’s your favourite game, Legion?” she asked, trying a different tactic.

“I am banned from most games for suspected VI activity,” they explained.

“Tell you what, Tali and Kasumi are coming over to watch Fleet and Flotilla with me later, why don’t you join us?”

“Will there be popcorn?” they asked. Shepard’s brows wrinkled in confusion.

“You and Tali can't eat it…?”

“I understand it is integral to organic vid watching ceremonies.”

“Alright, we'll have popcorn.”

“Shepard, you know I can’t eat popcorn,” Tali complained. The four of them were settled on the largest of the couches. It stretched across half the room, but somehow everyone had ended up almost piled up on top of Shepard. She found that she didn’t really mind.

“I got some dextro-based snacks for you, Tali,” Shepard reassured her.

“Shepard-Commander?” Legion had the copy of Fleet and Flotilla in their hands and they were carefully examining it, holding it up to the light.

“Yes Legion?”

“What purpose does a relationship between two species serve? They cannot procreate,” Legion said. Shepard shared a loaded look with Tali and Kasumi.

“It’s about the romance,” Tali explained. “Forbidden, star-crossed love.” The last few words were wistful, almost dreamy. 

“I do not understand,” Legion said. Shepard patted them on the shoulder.

“How about we watch the movie, and you can ask any questions you have when it’s over, okay?”

“Acknowledged.” Shepard flicked on the TV and the beginning credits began to roll.

“Shepard-Commander--”

“Shhh!” Kasumi hushed them.

“After the movie, Legion,” Shepard said. Legion nodded reluctantly. Kasumi and Tali both snuggled in on either side of Shepard, their heads resting on her shoulders. Maybe, she thought, vacations weren’t all bad.

The next day dawned bright and sunny, thanks to the artificial light on the Citadel. Shepard had gently deposited Tali and Kasumi in the guest bedrooms (how big did one apartment need to be??) and Legion had spent the small hours of the morning playing video games on her TV. After breakfast, she cheerfully sent them on their way after inviting each of them to the party that Joker had insisted she throw.

She hummed cheerfully to herself as she got dressed for the day. It was a relief, really, to be pulling on her regular black cargo pants and hoodie. Nice clothes were all well and good, but nothing could beat a half-dozen pockets, each weighed down with knives and caltrops. There were another dozen people that she needed to see. So many people that cared about her. It made her feel disconcertingly warm and fuzzy.

Shepard's first stop was at the hospital. Blessedly, she didn’t need to stay inside for long. She picked up Thane and took him to the café on the Presidium to buy him brunch. She’d never done brunch before.

“How have you been?” she asked.

“As well as I can be, during these difficult times,” Thane said quietly. His eyes were fixed on the gardens. “But Mordin believes I will make a full recovery.”

“You’ve seen Mordin?” she asked, sipping at her coffee.

“Ah, I had assumed that you would have heard. The salarian councilor was extremely grateful for the part I played in his rescue.”

“You mean saving his life almost single-handedly?” Shepard asked wryly. Thane rewarded her with a smile warmer than the artificial sun.

“Indeed. He asked that Mordin create a cure for Kepral’s Syndrome. So here I am, better than I’ve felt in years,” he explained.

“That’s great!” Shepard said encouragingly.

“I may even be fit to help with the war effort,” he said, and his eyes flicked to her. Shepard’s face immediately fell into a frown.

“Not going to happen,” she said firmly. 

“It is unfair for me to remain here when so many are dying.”

“How many last missions can one person have?” she asked. “There was the hit on Nassana Dantius, and then the Omega 4, and then saving the councilor, and then stopping my clone--”

“You have made your point,” he said wryly. “But it doesn’t seem to have stopped you before.” She pursed her lips and studied his face. He did look better, she had to admit.

“You’re sure?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“We could always use military advisors. Strictly non combat, you understand?” she said.  He considered her for a moment, before eventually nodding.

“Very well, if you think that would be best,” he said.

“I’ll let Hackett know,” she replied. And then, “It’s good to see you, Thane.”

“And you, Shepard. But you are on vacation. Shall we talk of more cheerful things?”

“Please,” she said fervently, and he chuckled, without coughing once.

It still wasn’t easy, going down to the refugee docks, but Mordin had asked her to meet him there. He had assembled a new clinic, replacing much of the equipment they’d been using in the refugee docking bay. He was bustling around, issuing instructions.

“Good to see some things never change, Mordin,” Shepard said wryly.

“Former system inefficient. Had to fix it. Other people always get it wrong.”

“Want a hand?” She leaned against the wall casually.

“Equally inefficient. Healing not one of your skills. Would like to talk, though.” She smiled ruefully. He wasn’t wrong. Once upon a time, he might’ve told her that he was never wrong.

“You got it. Shall we?” She led the way to a few miraculously empty chairs amidst the hustle and bustle of the docks. His posture was as impeccable as always as he remained sitting up straight on the uncomfortable bench.

“What have you been up to?” she asked. “Aside from curing Kepral’s Syndrome.”

“Spoken to Thane? Yes, cure is complete. Recommend minimal physical activity for time being. Non-combat.”

“It’ll be a cold day in hell before I clear him for combat.”

“Tactfully put,” he said. She grinned at him.

“So what else…?” she left the sentence hanging, waiting for him to continue. 

“Some side-effects to genophage cure. Created an antidote, but salarian doctors still not trusted. Been here for past two weeks.” Two weeks, and he’d already rearranged the docks. Knowing Mordin, he’d done that on his first day here.

“And how’s Urdnot Bakara doing in her new role?” Shepard asked. At that, he did smile.

“Exceeds expectations. Stabilizing influence on Urdnot Wrex. I like her.”

“Me too,” Shepard said. “Didn’t you say something about retirement though?”

“Yes. Wanted to run tests on seashells. Beaches in short supply at present, due to Reaper presence. Had a question.”

“Only one?” she asked wryly.

“As statement suggests, yes,” he replied. Shepard snorted.

“Alright, shoot,” she said.

“Clinic here running smoothly. Talents could be better used elsewhere. Crucible project needs scientists?”

“They’d be happy to have you,” Shepard said immediately. Mordin smiled warmly. They chatted a bit more, before Mordin insisted that he needed to get back to work. Some things really didn’t change.

Later that evening, after she’d visited even more of her friends, Shepard finally had a moment alone. The events of the past few days caught up, slamming into her like a freight train. Her hands rested on the cool marble of the bathroom vanity as she studied herself intently in the mirror. Scars mapped every part of her face, lancing across her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, notching a mark in her right eyebrow. Undeniably hers, but unquestionably altered now.

She looked at herself in the mirror, but she saw someone else. It was disconcerting to realize that the DNA that ran through her body was the same as her clone’s. It was worse to realize that her clone had been so violent, so capricious. Was that who she was, deep down? Was that who she’d been meant to be?

Her long red hair tumbled around her face, limp and bedraggled from days without washing it. She held a piece between her fingers, feeling every strand. She’d always been hopelessly proud of her hair, and had let it grow impractically long. The only part of her that the world hadn’t mangled.

But as she looked at it, she saw her clone. It wasn’t hers anymore. The world had taken that from her, as it had taken so many things.

Or maybe it had given her something new. She went down to the kitchen and selected a pair of scissors, and then she returned to the bathroom mirror in her room. With steady hands, she cut her hair. As it fell away, her angular features stood out in sharp relief. The haircut wasn’t even by a long shot, but it was hers. ... Garrus didn’t quite know what to do with his hands. He’d been standing outside the door to the apartment building for ten minutes now, hemming and hawing about the best course of action. And if he didn’t figure it out soon, he was going to be late for their date.

There were a number of facts Garrus was sure of. One: he was in love with Shepard. Fairly obvious, he’d been in love with her for over a year now. Two: Shepard was in love with him. He still hadn’t fully wrapped his head around that one, but he sure as hell wasn’t complaining. Three: he had no idea what the fuck was going to happen when they went to that Cerberus base. He hoped with every fibre of his being that they’d make it out the other side alive and in one piece, but he didn’t know.

Which was why he was standing outside the entrance to Shepard’s building, the ring box held in a vice-like grip between his talons.

Don’t be a coward, Vakarian. If he didn’t leave now, he’d be late. He squared his shoulders, and marched into the building resolutely. The elevator ride up seemed to last for an eternity. He studied the ceiling tiles, the grey swirling pattern seeming to vanish into the distance. It took him a second to realize that the elevator wasn’t moving anymore. It took him another second to exit the elevator. Spirits only knew how he got to Shepard’s door. He knocked gently. If he was quiet enough, maybe she wouldn’t answer.

But she did. He scrambled to shove the box into one of the very few pockets that turian clothing allowed for.

“Hey,” she said softly. Her eyelashes were longer than usual, and there was a dark tint to her lips. She was wearing that damn suit again and his brain short-circuited. His mouth was suddenly too dry. Shit, he should say something.

“Hey.” Amazing job, Vakarian. What a way with words. She gave him a crooked half-smile.

“Come in?” she suggested. Relieved, he nodded and stepped through.

“Your, um,” he tried. He gestured vaguely to her face.

“My hair?” she asked.

“Yeah.” It barely fell past her ears now. Could humans just...do that? She rubbed at her neck self-consciously.

“It felt weird looking in the mirror and seeing her. So, I cut it. Maybe by the time it grows back it won’t feel as weird,” she explained. He nodded stiffly. Spirits, did he have to be so awkward right now? You’d think it’d be easier to propose to your best friend. 

“Are you okay?” she asked softly. She was closer now, cinnamon and coffee in the air. There was a slight crease to her forehead.

“I love you,” he said suddenly. A warm smile spread across her face.

“Yes, we’ve established that,” she said. “But you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Did I do that bad a job cutting it?”

“No, no it’s not that,” he said hurriedly. “It’s...damn.”

“Now you’re making me worried, Garrus.” She pulled away. Shit.

“Dance with me?” he blurted. Her eyebrows shot up so high they reached her hairline.

“Am I having a stroke?” she asked incredulously. “Every third sentence you say is insulting my dancing.” He really didn’t have anything to say to that, so he raced over to the wall, keyed into her stereo system and started playing music, as well as dimming the lights. Tango music filled the apartment, and he held out a slightly shaking hand to her.

“Hell no,” she said.

“C’mon Shepard, do you trust me?” Spirits, did there really have to be pleading in his voice right now?

“Implicitly. I’m still not dancing with you.” Steeling himself to get elbowed in the guts, he grabbed her hand and tugged her close to him. She reluctantly let him lead her through a few beginning steps, but she stayed stiff as a board, completely unyielding.

“You’re going to pay for this later,” she muttered darkly. 

“Promises, promises, Joan,” he said, and she rolled her eyes at him. “Which reminds me, is that not your real name?” She scowled at him. Damn, but she was hot when she was pissed.

“Am I answering questions or am I dancing? I sure as hell can’t do both.” She blocked his leg as he tried to dip her down. He rallied magnificently, playing it off as intentional. He continued to lead her through the dance. 

Slowly, she started to get the hang of it, growing more confident in her movements. He ventured a spin, and to his very great delight she spun away from him and came tumbling back, a small smile gracing her lips. 

As a general rule, turian marriages were fairly perfunctory affairs. Not a lot of room for romance in the hierarchy. But he wanted this to be special. Those images of the romantic comedies he’d watched flashed through his head. She deserved something good.

He’d practiced the steps enough that he could do them in his sleep by this point. She didn’t need to know that though. He didn’t think he’d ever live it down if she found out he’d been practicing in the main battery until late into the sleep cycle. He dipped her low, both of them breathing heavily. Her gently waving short hair framed her face like a halo.

“It’s Jeanne. My name’s Jeanne,” she murmured, so soft he almost didn’t catch it. He gently set her back on her feet and then sunk to one knee.

“Marry me, Jeanne Shepard?” he asked. She inhaled sharply. ... Her head was spinning as they danced across the room. She begrudgingly had to admit that she was enjoying herself. Garrus didn’t need to know that though.

Time slowed almost to a standstill as he dipped her down, his hand snugly wrapped around her waist. His bright blue eyes were fixed on her, and she felt her face flush.

“It’s Jeanne. My name’s Jeanne,” she murmured. A name she’d left behind long ago, a name that only Marie knew. A part of her that the clone hadn’t been able to mimic. Maybe it was time to reclaim it, that concrete reminder of her time on Earth, of who she’d once been. 

Her feet touched the floor once more, and Garrus let go of her. She was reaching back out for him as he got down on one knee in front of her. Had she stepped on his foot…?

“Marry me, Jeanne Shepard?” he asked.

Oh. Oh.

She froze, and then a small laugh bubbled out of her.

“Well, that’s a little harsh,” he muttered. Still laughing, she helped him up. She rested a hand on either side of his face.

“Is that why you were so awkward earlier?” she asked.

“Listen, it’s a yes or no question.” His voice was so exasperated, so nervous.

“Of course I’ll marry you,” she said. A second later her feet left the ground as he picked her up and spun her around, kissing her soundly. He set her down and she wound her arms around his neck. “You have terrible timing.”

“Title of our autobiography,” he replied.

“True enough,” she chuckled. It was so warm, here in his arms. A safe harbour amidst the storm. 

“You really trampled all over my moment,” he griped. “I had the ring all ready and everything.”

“I hate to tell you this, Vakarian, but EDI already gave me a ring.” A victory ring she’d called it, with metal from every Council homeworld. Including Earth. Shepard had almost cried.

“Do you want it or not?”

“I never said I didn’t,” she said. He rolled his eyes, but he tugged out a small box from his pocket. 

She was definitely going to cry now. There was a scattering of stained glass inset in the band.

“It's made of an indestructible metal, so it won't get damaged in combat,” he explained quickly. She tugged him towards her and kissed him until they were both breathless. Home. This was home, here with him. She could die happy now. She could live even happier.

“So when’s the ceremony?” she whispered against his mouth.

“Got any plans this evening?”

“Yeah, there’s the party.”

“Perfect.”

[masseffecthoe]

Soul Glitches

Chapter 1

A/N: So I’ve been playing Mass Effect and I guess you’ve seen James Vega and his muscles since you’re here... yeah, so this is the result :))

Writing this for fun, maybe a little rough around the edges and lightly unedited :)) Just so we’re clear, it’s a James x non Shepard OC.

Warnings: none i think... yet

I like making collages, sue me!

Jun sat in a dark corner of the hallway, right leg bouncing rapidly for the past half hour. Shepard's hearing was being delayed and it couldn't mean anything good. Officers were rushing in and out of the main chamber, each wearing a perfect mask of calmness on their faces, but the hurried steps and careful whispers were a clear indication something was up. But there was no way in hell they were going to actually charge the commander with anything, right? After all, they were saved, once more, because of her.

She thought back on the last mission, the one that all thought was going to be a one way trip through the Omega 4 relay and cold shiver ran through her spine. Maybe they were pushing their luck a little, but facts were facts and all of them painted Shepard as a god dammed hero. She was bought out of her momentary trance when a ruckus came down the hall. Soon enough she spotted the commander, her confident stride making the lower ranked officers part out of her way. Getting up from her spot in the shadows she joined the other woman in her march towards the hearing, completely ignoring the marine in her tow.

"Something's up, Shepard."

"Any idea what?"

"No. Whatever it is, they're keeping it tight." They paused and shared a look. Something was brewing in Shepard's mind; you could almost see the cogs running in overtime. Jun was about to ask what was the plain if things went south when the heavy doors slid open revealing none other than Kaidan Alenko. Now, she didn't have anything against the lieutenant per se, but he could be such an ass. She knew for a fact the commander was head over heels for the guy and she just couldn't see why… First human specter, war hero and the best damn leader she served under and the woman chose that chump…

She sighed, spacing out their entire conversation, pondering on love and its apparent unique ability to make even the greatest people dumb. When Anderson came and escorted the commander, she gave Jun one last look and she nodded: she'd be waiting right there, ready to bust them out if needed. If the Alliance refused to see the reapers as a real and imminent threat they'd find help somewhere else.

"You know the commander?

"I used to." Jun scoffed a little too loudly, making the two men turned towards her with questioning looks.

"You're such a moron, I swear…"

"Good to see you again, Jun."

"If only it were mutual."

"Look, I'm so-"

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, you dimwit." Kaidan gaze fell to the ground, shaking his head.

"I get it you two know each other."

"Unfortunately." She eyed the recently promoted major with all the disgust she could muster until Kaidan let out a defeated sigh and went on his merry way. She told herself again that she did not truly hate the guy, but it was getting harder and harder not to. As strong as Shepard was, his mistrust in her had left a mark no matter how hard she denied it. Shaking her head to get Alenko out of her mind, she turned towards the marine and extended her hand towards him.

"I'm sorry for that, he just really gets on my nerves. I'm Jun Saros." He shook her hand with a steady grip and she couldn't help notice the veins along his forearm. Damn he was bulky.

"Lieutenant James Vega. You two got history?"

"God no! He's just the biggest drama queen when you least expect it." He eyed her up and down, a smirk forming in the corner of his lips. Damn that scar was sexy.

"His loss." Jun was taken aback by the comment, but found herself smiling nevertheless. With all that had transpired in the past years, her accident, Cerberus, the Collectors, she found his little quip refreshing. A dip in normality. When was the last time she just chatted with someone without looming threats over their shoulder?

She raised an eyebrow, lips parted to give him a comeback, but her words were drowned down by an explosion. The ground shook violently, windows clattering and breaking. Outside, massive shadows were landing in the distance, red lasers shooting in every direction. Jun turned to reach the hearing room, but was interrupted when an entire section of the wall collapsed, blocking the door. She was grabbed by her shoulder non too gently by James and pulled along further down the corridor as alarms started going off and people dashed towards safety. She tried the com link as she barely kept up with the marine's pace.

"Shepard?"

"Jun, Anderson and I are cut off the main exit. Head towards the landing zone and meet us at the Normandy."

"Understood." She looked one more at the reaper just outside the city lines and cursed under her breath. They were nowhere near prepared for this! "Vega, we need to get to the Normandy."

The man nodded and took a sharp left making Jun almost loose her balance when she spun at the last second. If the building wasn't collapsing behind them she would have laughed at the silliness of it. James led them towards the exit, or better said to what was once the exit. A metal plaque cut through the doorway, wires spiking with electricity dangling from the sides. She took her omni-tool and cast a shield around them, giving the marine a curt nod before heading outside.

To say the city was in shambles would have been the understatement of the century. Barely any buildings stood unscathed, shuttles were evacuating civilians as military airships were going headfirst towards the reaper forces. She didn't have much time to register everything as James took off, jumping on a railing and turning towards her, hand outstretched.

"Come on!" Purposefully avoiding to look closer at the unstable looking path he'd chosen, Jun took his hand reluctantly. They were sitting ducks there, but the open space and the reaper in the distance made her stomach turn.

"How much further?"

"Are you scared of heights, princess?"

"Less of heights, more of giant lasers and being burned alive, you know?" He might have chuckled, but it was hard for her to tell between the explosions, alarms and people screaming. She turned towards a group of officers trying to pry off a metal chunk of a colleague's leg. The decision was made in a split second.

"We're almost ther- what are you doing?" She jumped down on the level below, preparing her onmi-tool and kneeling down besides the man.

"This should stop the bleeding, but you should still get him checked…" The words died in her throat. In all this madness there was little hope they would manage to get him a doctor anytime soon. The soldiers seemed to acknowledge this as well.

"Thank you ma'am. This will give him some more time." They hauled the poor unconscious guy over their shoulders and ducked for cover as a laser was shot towards them. It felt like she was hit by a train when James rolled them behind a sturdy looking column, the air leaving her lungs. She grasped his arms for support as she desperately tried to get some oxygen back in.

"Sorry…" James took in her form once more. She was lean, but nowhere near in military shape, her hands delicate on his rough skin. He felt bad for manhandling her, yet couldn't help wonder how she got mixed in on the Normandy's crew. He remembered her name in the reports, but couldn't recall if there was any mentions of her training.

"No, n-"The words stuck in her throat and she coughed a bit more before regaining a steady breathing, her grip loosening. "Thank you. Beats being burned alive."

"Right, let's get moving." He could have gotten to the ship already if he were on his own, he wanted to get to the action and blast those sons of bitches off their planet as quickly as possible. But he couldn't leave Shepard's little friend behind. The commander and Anderson seemed to trust her.

The Normandy came into view and they made a run for it. He jumped on the air lock and turned to help the woman, but she was already midair, a little drone pushing at her back. She dusted off when she landed besides him and raised an eyebrow at the look she was giving him.

"What? I'm more capable than I look." She put out her tongue in a child like protest and he wondered again how she survived that suicide mission. Dumb luck was all he could think of. They headed further inside the ship, in hopes Shepard and Anderson would have already gotten there, when a voice sounded through the ship's coms.

"Jun! Good to have you back on the Normandy."

"Joker, I already feel safer." James followed her to the elevator, unsure of the ship's layout. "Are Shepard and Anderson here?"

"We're picking them up now. You should get to the war room, the commander will be there soon."

It didn't take long between the moment they arrived in the room, the ship turning away from Earth, the commander entering, no Anderson in sight, and admiral Hackett's message. He didn't like the situation one bit. Leaving Earth was a coward move, even if the admiral had ordered them to Mars, James was not a part of Shepard's crew, he should have stayed with Anderson and fought for his planet! He was not stupid, he knew they most likely stood no chance without help from the aliens, but his fight was not in the politics of the Citadel, it was on the ground, were his people were being slaughtered. The heavy silence after the admiral's message was finally intercepted by Jun as she got up with a sigh.

"Starboard Observation Deck is MINE this time!"

Chapter 2 >

[pip-n-flinx]

Little bit of Mass Effect Salt Incoming

So, one of my favorite twitch/youtube personalities recently released a video about his favorite series ever, mass effect! While I was initial thrilled (I didn’t even know he played ME tbh) I gotta say I’m a more than a bit salty about it. I still love him and and watch his stuff, clearly ain’t nobody perfect, but I want to get some things off my chest and most of the people I know who are into ME follow me here. SO here goes.

Here’s the thing, he absolutely hates one of my favorite characters from the franchise. He made jokes about leaving them to die, not regretting it, how horrible a character they are, and even references several moments in the first game as the source of his opinions. He goes into far less details from the 2nd and 3rd games in the franchise, but contends that they failed to change his mind.

Now, it will come as no surprise to some of you that he hates Ashley Williams.

For the sake of clarity, I’m going to get some stuff out of the way right here before explaining to you what he said and why I disagree:

- I have done multiple playthroughs of ME. One included the Ash Romance.

- Most of my playthroughs I romanced Liara.

- My opinions are not ‘ASH IS BEST GIRL CHANGE MY MIND’

- Before someone @’s me with some bullshit, I’d just like to observe I’ve heard a ton of Ash Hatred since I got into the fandom. I would be surprised if you were bringing something new to my attention when it comes to Ash. I’ve spent a great deal of my time playing this game and even more following other content creators of any medium I could find. Please Please Please PLEASE don’t waste your time regurgitating something you heard someone else say and I SWEAR BEFORE ALL THAT IS GOOD if I hear one more “She’s just a ____” comment I will end you no character in this series is “just” anything.

- THIS IS NOT KAIDEN ALENKO HATRED. I actually find the Virmire decision heart wrenching every time.

- Finally, before we move on, I’m not telling you how to play the goddamn game. I have enough trouble with Virmire, Horizon, and the Coup d’etat missions in my own playthrough, I have no intention of re-living the guilt and stress of it for someone else’s Shepard. I got enough emotional baggage from this game already thanks. MOVING ON “Ashley is a space racist.” ALRIGHT listen up kiddos. Her Grandfather, the one who started the Williams Curse? He did that by creating and signing off on Cerberus during the First Contact War. The pro-human splinter group founded during the first encounter and conflict with aliens that humanity experiences? That was her Grandfather’s Idea. And yes, she begins ME1 with some pretty racist commentary. “Can’t tell the aliens from the animals” is a reprehensible line. Now, I don’t think she says anything reprehensible when she talks to Shepard about not liking the aliens on the Normandy, but I can also agree that it comes from a place of fear and discomfort, and that definitely contributes to the argument that she’s a space racist. HOWEVER: what a lot of the Ash haters miss is a moment after Virmire on the Citadel, in the wards, when a isolationist xenophobic populist party known as the Terra Firma party approaches Shepard asking for their support in the next election. This comes after Ashley has had a chance to work with Wrex, Garrus, Tali, and Captain Kirrahe. She DRAGS the leader through the muck, stating that while she likes some of the parties platform the party is full of racists and the refusal by the Terra Firma leaders to denounce the racist comments and racists members of the party is enough to lose them her vote already. She gets so heated about Shepard has to command her to stand down. You don’t get to cherry pick her interactions from ME1 and ignore her character growth. She also falls right into her big sister roll with Tali almost immediately. She tells Tali that it took years to get women accepted in the military. When Tali responds that the Migrant Fleet doesn’t have the luxury of sexism, she replies “sounds great, but I don’t think I could get used to the uniform.” In ME2 she refuses Shepard’s offer, despite earlier referring to Shepard as “a god back from the dead.” Why does she refuse? Because Shepard is working with Cerberus, the organization her GRANDFATHER CREATED. She’s all for the Alliance, and the Alliance is either working with or directing the Citadel Council having earned an honored spot after the Geth attack 2 years before. She is committed to working with the government that is dealing with the other races and refuses to work for Cerberus even though you could argue its in her blood and definitely in her upbringing. Honestly, I can’t fathom why people bring up this scene when trashing Ash, this is a moral stand from a woman accused of being a racist and the flip flop here even from people in the fandom I respect is baffling to me. In ME3 there are a whole plethora of scenes you could pick from but I want to talk about her reuniting with Tali. She immediately tells Tali to drop rank with her, observing they’ve been through enough together that the rank isn’t important. This is especially poignant to me if Tali herself is exiled after the events of ME2.

“Ashley is just a soldier, she doesn’t have any personality beyond that.” BULLSHIT she doesn’t. She’s struggled to find her place in the military due to the family stigma around her grandfather, so she hangs a ton of her personal identity on her family. She’s a supportive older sister, an adoring daughter, at least passingly religious if only because “there are no atheists in a foxhole.” She calls her sisters regularly, tells stories about growing up with them, mourns her late father and reads a ton of poetry, demonstrating a more critical appraisal of literature than Shepard, Vega, Joker, or even Kaidan (”its about not giving up?” is that the best you’ve got Shep? thats pathetic.) Whats more, she doesn’t just read one poet, she picked up some poems from both her “sappy” dad and more pragmatic mom. She’s also a great window to military families in ME, which you can’t really say for Kaidan or 2 out of 3 Shepard backstories. I think in a story about a war to end all wars it would be a disservice to not write about all the widowed men, women, an aliens who are living not quite far enough from the war.

“Why can’t she just trust Shepard? Why does she have to refuse to help in ME2 and then be so standoffish in ME3?” Honestly? If my lover had been declared KIA and then magically came back working under cover for a shady organization with a history of criminal crimes like murder and torture I TOO would have trust issues. I feel like we often gloss over just how horrible an organization Cerberus really is. Even ignoring the “they rebuilt you” angle which gets EVEN CREEPIER in the first Mars mission in ME3 I can’t imagine immediately flip flopping between Cerberus are war criminals to my best friend presumed dead is working for them to its alright now totally nothing out of the ordinary that compromised my opinion of their judgement took place.

So I just can’t see the Ashley Williams hate. I can see leaving her behind (no I can’t, no one ever dies in this series, how dare you tell me anyone dies?) on Virmire. But I just can’t fathom the hatred.

With all that said Kaidan is not boring, Ash is more than a racist soldier, and I love all the characters in the ME trilogy. Thank you. Good Night.

[frankly-art]

Frankly-Art’s Top 10 Video Games of 2018

Also available to read on my deviantArt!

With every New Year comes another year’s worth of video games to look forward to, and 2019 promise to be a good one in that regard: the release of Kingdom Hearts III is only days away, Piranha Plant and Joker are certain to be innovative and entertaining additions to the Smash Ultimate roster, Animal Crossing is coming to the Switch… and those mark only a small fraction of the many things 2019 has in store for us in terms of gaming. Amid all of this hype, I got to thinking about the varied gameplay experiences I had over the past year; so, I figured this would be as good an opportunity as any for me to reflect on them with a bit of a critical eye and definitively rank each of the video games I managed to get to during 2018!

Keep in mind while reading that, even though this is a list featuring games I played in 2018, many of these games were ones released in years past that I never got around to until last year—so, if you were expecting a list of the top 10 games that were released in 2018, I’m afraid you’ll have to look elsewhere (but not until after you read my oh-so-important list first! I crave validation!); expect a healthy mix of new and old titles in the list below. Additionally, this list will rank downloadable content (DLC) separately from standalone titles, as I don’t find it fair to compare a DLC add-on to a fully-fledged game. I’ll be weighing the score of each DLC depending on how well it improves and expands upon the narrative and gameplay of its original game.

Without further ado (and with no better means of transitioning from this introduction to the list itself than to use a somewhat tired expression in the realm of video games), let’s-a go! (Please forgive me.)

-SPOILER WARNING IN EFFECT-

Favorite Characters: Revali, Urbosa, Kass Favorite Tracks: Monk Maz Koshia (all phases)

It might come as somewhat of a shock that a game with “Breath of the Wild” in its title would rank lowest on my list, but hear me out: no matter how much fun it was to be able to return to Hyrule in this DLC expansion, in my opinion, Champions’ Ballad just felt like more of the same of what we got in the main game.

Despite the nigh perfection that was Breath of the Wild, I have to agree with critics who said that the lack of aesthetic variation between segments of dungeon crawling and puzzle solving was a monotonous bore when compared to the varied themes and aesthetics of the dungeons in Zelda games past, and Champions’ Ballad did nothing to vary the atmosphere in its new shrines and dungeon from those of the main game. This disappointment was compounded with the fact that Champions’ Ballad added no new weapons to your arsenal (aside from a risky-to-use fork that functioned virtually like every other sword in the game) to allow for new types of puzzle solving or exploration. The unicorn motorcycle was certainly a cool reward for completing the DLC (the fact that I got to write the words “unicorn” and “motorcycle” next to each other is reward enough), but I had very little use for it since I’d already combed through the entirety of Hyrule during my first playthrough of the game. I simply believe it would have been nice for Champions’ Ballad to have given players something a little fresher to explore, even if it were just an aesthetic change of scenery.

I had also hoped that Champions’ Ballad might have expanded on the lore sprinkled throughout Hyrule and, even though we learned more about the four champions, I was a little let down that they didn’t really expand on anything else (Why can’t I climb to the top of Mount Agaat? Why does the entirety of the Akkala region fill me with a confusing sense of serene dread?? What the hell happened at the Typhlo Ruins???) I appreciate that, by not explaining everything, Nintendo give players the chance to interpret these things for themselves, but, when compared to the lore provided in previous Zelda games, I feel as though Champions’ Ballad fell short in fleshing out the history of this ruined Hyrule.

Favorite Characters: Prompto, Ignis Favorite Tracks: A Retainer’s Resolve, Apocalypsis Magnatus

Given how much of a beautiful mess Final Fantasy XV was upon its initial release, it’s certainly a consolation to the main game to see how well Square Enix supplemented its (rather disjointed) story and expanded upon its (frankly, lacking) gameplay through its various DLC expansion chapters featuring Noctis’ loyal Chocobros. And while I may not love Ignis quite as much as other chocobros like Prompto or Noctis, Episode Ignis was definitely an engaging and welcome addition to the enigma that is the Final Fantasy XV.

Particular highlights of Episode Ignis include its soundtrack, which features a heroic leitmotif for Ignis that really underscores the dire circumstances he and his teammates find themselves in during this segment of the story, and its addition of gameplay modes (Motorboat Simulator 2018 being one of them) are a welcome change of pace to the somewhat rudimentary battle and exploration systems found in the main game. However, a point of contention I have with Episode Ignis is with its narrative: while I appreciate that this DLC chapter finally explains how Ignis becomes blind, its multiple endings completely undermine the storyline of the main game itself. Does Ignis’ sacrifice save Noctis from having to make a sacrifice of his own in order to save the world? Does Ignis regain his sight after Noctis defeats Ardyn? Do Noctis and Luna finally realize that they’d be better off with other people (as it’s obvious that Noctis is already too preoccupied with his three boyfriends to make room for anyone else)? I need answers, Square!

Favorite Characters: Elizabeth, Atlas/Frank Fontaine Favorite Tracks: Patsy Cline – She’s Got You, Johnny Mathis – Wonderful! Wonderful!

I claimed to be a fan of the BioShock series for so long, even though I’d only ever played the first game in the series until the summer of 2017 when I finally bought a PS4 and, with it, the BioShock Collection. Now, I can call myself a fan of the series without reservation, having explored and discovered all that Rapture and Columbia have to offer. To me, BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea Episodes 1 & 2 are a love letter to the entire series itself, featuring elements from the three main-series games and tying together each of their narratives (save for maybe BioShock 2, which is absolutely criminal, considering 2 is my favorite game in the series) in a way that, while forced in some aspects, felt like Ken Levine actually cared about clearing up some of the more confusing questions that remained at the end of BioShock: Infinite.

Burial at Sea really came into itself during Episode 2, where gameplay was switched up to feature more fleshed-out stealth mechanics that made sneaking around Rapture and Columbia both exhilarating and terrifying. It was also refreshing to be able to finally take control of Elizabeth, one of the most iconic characters of the series after the Big Daddies of BioShocks 1 and 2, and learn more of her own personal motivations and desires as she maneuvers through hostile environments. As I already mentioned briefly, I know some took issue with the way Burial at Sea wove the first two BioShock games together with the third, but, considering the mess that was made when BioShock Infinite introduced multiverse science into its mythos (and the narrative mess that Infinite was in general—I took great issue with the way they framed the oppressed populations of Columbia as “just as bad” as the ruling populations simply because they used violence to, you know, try and liberate themselves from their oppression), I feel that Burial at Sea did the best job it could considering that the setting of Infinite differed so greatly from that of the first two games.

Also, fun fact: I studied this game as a part of my Master’s Project and played it through a total of three times: once in English and twice in French! Isn’t academia weird?

Favorite Characters: Rando, Buddy, Vega Van Dam Favorite Tracks: 666 Kill Chop Deluxe, He’s My Dad, Brokentooth March

Anyone who reads TV Tropes is likely familiar with the trope “Gameplay and Story Segregation” and its less-frequent counterpart, “Gameplay and Story Integration”. In the case of LISA: The Joyful, this DLC game (which could practically be its own standalone title if it weren’t for the fact Steam labels it as “DLC” and won’t let you play it without first purchasing LISA: The Painful) absolutely excels in the latter and completely subverts the gameplay mechanics and narrative structure of the base game, and this can all be attributed to the way both games focus on your use of the cure-all drug that makes you feel nothing: Joy.

Indeed, where LISA: The Painful makes you question your use of the drug Joy, LISA: The Joyful (Joyful) is nigh impossible to complete without taking it in nearly every battle after you’re left to your own devices when the muscle of your party abandons you. As anyone who’s played the LISA trilogy will know, Joy is a dangerous substance, mutating its addicts and twisting the minds of anyone who uses it, and that Joy is an integral piece of the trilogy’s social and philosophical commentary on the freedom and restriction of choice, the commitment and devotion one carries for a person or cause, and the inherent, inevitable grey area of any and all actions one may take. Despite these themes, LISA: The Joyful is far from a demoralizing experience: if anything, the way the game simulates the feeling of being backed into a corner and the refusal to give up despite the odds only affirms whatever moral code by which you may already live, or is at least an opportunity to feel relief that you yourself aren’t forced to make such drastic decisions for your own survivability and freedom.

That’s it for the DLC games I played in 2018; now, the real fun begins! Brace yourself for my list of the top standalone titles I played last year!

Favorite Characters: Katie

This game was recommended to me by a friend, and, as much as I wanted to enjoy it, this game wound up being my lowlight of 2018, with its simplistic, seemingly rudimentary gameplay and conspicuous lack of any compelling narrative. Put bluntly, this game was like a forgettable rendition of Animal Crossing, only without any cute animal neighbors to run errands for. The game’s environment threatened absolutely no danger to your player character, yet still didn’t offer any engaging or challenging puzzles to solve to make up for this lack of danger (most “puzzles” involved figuring out how to get to a particular point on the map… and that was it). Despite this being an open-world game that offered endless opportunities for customization, I found myself hurrying to complete the game’s main (5-hour) campaign so I could feel justified to move on to other gaming experiences. The most unfortunate part of this to me is that I know there’s still more to the game’s world for me to explore, but I’m in no way compelled to do so.

In all fairness, though, I think that I’m a little older than the target demographic this game was aiming for. This game was never meant to be challenging or stressful, it was made to be a relaxing escape for anyone looking to pass the time exploring and discovering a beautifully modeled and brightly colored world. This game also wins serious points for inclusivity, especially considering the age group this game was most likely made for; my fondest memory of this game is of a quest where a woman requests that you find her the ingredients to make a potion that stimulates beard growth because she wants to grow a beard of her own, and not once during this campaign is she ridiculed or belittled for wanting one. Since Yonder seems to be a game for kids, I believe quests such as this are an excellent step to socializing them into a world that’s less judgmental and more receptive to other people. So, despite  my earlier critiques of this game, Yonder would be a great game to consider if you’re looking for a low-key and off-beat (and all-human) alternative to Animal Crossing.

Favorite Veteran Fighters: Peach, Zelda, Zero Suit Samus Favorite Newcomers: Daisy, Ridley, Richter Favorite Stages: Fountain of Dreams, Fourside, Hyrule Temple Favorite Tracks: All-Star Rest Area (Melee), Destroyed Skyworld, Athletic (Yoshi’s Island)

We all knew another installment in the Smash series was coming ever since the Switch was first announced back in March of 2017. In fact, you might even say that the quality of each console’s iteration of Smash reflects the quality of the console itself, with Melee demonstrating the power and potential of the GameCube, Brawl being a gimmicky romp on an equally gimmicky console, and Wii U/3DS (what a title, right?) completely failing to capture player interest for longer than a few rounds of Smash (the Wii U era feels like a fever dream to me at this point). It’s a letdown, then, that with the Switch being such a commercial and technical success, Smash Ultimate seems somewhat of a disappointment when weighed against the hype that surrounded it up until its release back in early December.

It’s true that Smash Ultimate really delivers in regard to the character roster (everyone is here!) and stage selection (almost everything is here!), but the cuts that were made to series staples like trophies, event matches, and the like, detract from Smash Ultimate becoming the be-all end-all title in the series that it could have been. Trophy mode was where I learned much about video game history and was introduced to obscure series I would have never discovered otherwise, and their replacement with spirits feels a bit cheap, especially since spirits don’t come with any kind of information to contextualize them. Event Matches were hybridized with Melee’s Adventure mode and Brawl’s Subspace Emissary, creating the “World of Light”; while the World of Light has grown on me the more that I play it, it’s somewhat discouraging to me that, by combining so many modes of Smash games past into one, there will be nothing left for me to do with the game once I reach its end.

Still, Smash Ultimate offers plenty to look forward to. I’m more-than-hyped about the additions of Piranha Plant and Joker from Persona 5 to the character roster, and I can’t wait to see who might be announced next (unless it’s another Fire Emblem character… please God [Sakurai] don’t let it be another Fire Emblem character).

Favorite Tracks: The Bridge, Touching the Stars, Up to the Nest

I could never have prepared myself for the beautiful-yet-heart-wrenching experience this game would put me through, but I’m oh-so-glad that it did. On the surface, RiME is a relaxing exploration and puzzle game that takes place in a beautifully rendered in-game world, with a brilliantly orchestrated soundtrack and a plethora of diverse landscapes to get lost in. And yet, every moment of your adventure is permeated by an inescapable sense of isolation and dread, making you ask questions like “Where is everyone?”, “Just who is that man in the red cloak?,” and, “Is he stalking me, or are I stalking him?”.

Indeed, RiME’s narrative unfolds wordlessly as you explore and leaves you to discover and interpret on your own exactly what tragedies transpired before the events of the game, tragedies of which are far more poignant and moving if you were to discover them yourself. I know I’ve put a spoiler warning in effect, but I highly recommend you play this game on your own (or at least watch a decent Let’s Play of it) if you’re curious to know what unfolds during the game’s narrative. RiME is a relatively short game, too, lasting only between 5-10 hours, so it would be an easy one to fit into your queue if you’re looking for a fun gameplay experience with a story that will haunt you for weeks and months on end after completing it.

Favorite Characters: Terry Hintz, Buzzo, Wally Favorite Tracks: Men’s Hair Club, The End is Nigh, Summer Love

Having already talked about this game’s DLC expansion of LISA: The Joyful, you’re already aware that I hold the LISA trilogy in high regard—it also means I can make this entry somewhat brief, since a lot of what I said about Joyful can also be applied to its parent title, LISA: The Painful. You see, it’s in LISA: The Painful where the conflict in Joyful begins, and where we learn more of how the world came to be so depraved after the White Flash, an extinction event that inexplicably killed all women on the planet (at least, as far as the characters in the game know). The game considers what the repercussions of such an event would be on our society (aside from dooming humanity to die off within a generation) and really explores the darkest depths of toxic masculinity to call into question the detrimental effects it has on our self-esteem, our relationships, and our will to survive. Gameplay-wise, it’s a fairly traditional JRPG, though as I mentioned with Joyful, LISA: The Painful integrates its story with its gameplay by permanently increasing (but mainly decreasing) your stats depending on whatever injuries you escape or sustain throughout your journey. All in all, LISA: The Painful is a truly harrowing experience from beginning to end, but a must-play for anyone with an interest in the more macabre aspects of human nature.

Favorite Characters: Aloy, Erend, Vanasha Favorite Tracks: Louder

You know a game’s going to be good when its title screen holds you in awe before even pressing start. Imagine a sunlit vignette over purple mountains and a glistening river, a haunting and triumphant melody underscoring it all, as the title slowly fades into view in white in the center of the screen: Horizon Zero Dawn. O.K., I’m in. This game just did so many things right as an open-world game during an era where the genre was oversaturated by mediocre games that rehashed the same tired tropes and mechanics in its gameplay and world building. Horizon Zero Dawn truly set itself apart from the crowd for a variety of reasons: its beautifully detailed setting (being a microcosmic interpretation of Western North America), its intricate combat system with a graciously forgiving learning curve, and its compelling and socially-conscious narrative all worked together to distinguish this game within the open-world genre.

What really sets this game apart most of all, though, is the game’s protagonist, Aloy: a rare female protagonist who is a breath of fresh air in a sea of male heroes, whose capabilities and intellect don’t come at the cost of her physical appearance and femininity. Aloy set an example for other game developers that female protagonists are more than viable (and are in fact, overdue) in the video games of today, and her status as a female character never felt gratuitous or shoehorned (e.g. Battlefield V’s inclusion of a female protagonist as an enlisted soldier in the British Army and serving in the line of duty during World War II). It’s difficult (read: impossible) to play Horizon Zero Dawn and not fall in love with Aloy for her wit, her strength, and her general stick-to-itiveness in the face of adversity (not to mention, she’s just really cute and knows how to work a belly shirt). With Aloy as the protagonist, you’ll never tire of adventuring through Horizon Zero Dawn’s 70-hours+ worth of gameplay as you explore the in-game world to learn just what happened to “The Old Ones” and their society all those millennia ago.

Favorite Party Members: Ryuji Sakamoto, Ann Takamaki, Makoto Niijima Favorite Confidants: Hifumi Togo, Sadayo Kawakami, Sae Niijima, Toranosuke Yoshida, Chihaya Mifune Favorite Targets/Boss Battles: Ichiryusai Madarame, Kunikazu Okumura, Leviathan, Yaldabaoth Favorite Tracks: Blooming Villain, Rivers in the Desert, A Woman, Aria of the Soul

I’ll bet no one saw this one coming! Just kidding—anyone who’s exchanged more than a few words with me since the fall of 2018 knows how much this game absolutely consumed my life over the span of, I don’t know, I think it was four months? Indeed, I wound up sinking a total of 123 hours into this game, and there’s still a loud part of me that wants to return to it to begin a New Game+ (you’ll even notice that it was too difficult for me to contain my favorite characters into one category, instead having to split them up in order to represent all of my favorites because of how much I love them all). I’m already a fan of JRPGs, so it didn’t take much for Persona 5 to win me over with its turn-based combat, but the addition of certain gameplay mechanics—like earning an extra turn for exploiting enemy weaknesses or improving your relationship with your friends outside of battle to unlock gameplay bonuses—prevent battles and exploration in Persona 5 from ever becoming stale. Indeed, Persona 5 was truly a masterpiece from start to finish and an experience that I never wanted to end.

Frankly, any drawbacks I could mention about this game feel almost nitpicky, like the way the status ailment “Envy” is represented during the final boss fight by the color indigo instead of green, or how Kawakami can only manage to make me one cup of very useful, SP-restoring coffee over the course of an entire evening. Still, Persona 5 isn’t without its faults: for one, Persona 5 loses significant points for its questionable representation of LGBT groups (the camp gay men who openly harass Ryuji on multiple occasions being the most glaring example), and this isn’t helped by the queerbaiting that’s prevalent in a lot of character dialogue and relationships. Additionally, the fact that you can’t romance any of your male confidants comes across as erasive at best and homophobic at worst, especially considering that 1) all but one of your female confidants are eligible girlfriends, 2) you can two-time all of them at once if you so desire (which isn’t just disrespectful, it’s also flippantly misogynistic), and, most importantly, 3) one of this game’s main themes includes rebelling against oppressive societal norms (a theme that will resonate deeply with any LGBT+ player). Female representation in Persona 5 is also somewhat of a mixed bag: while the game features a large cast of diverse female characters, its constant and blatant objectification of Ann is not only creepy, it’s incredibly obtuse considering the sexual harassment and abuse she suffers by one of her teachers during the game’s first story arc. Fortunately, each of these drawbacks is easy enough to ignore when discussing the game as a whole, but I hope Atlus improves upon them in future installments: considering how incredible an experience Persona 5 was, imagine how much more incredible Persona 6 could be if these issues were fixed!

So that’s it for my top 10 games of 2018. What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with any of my commentary? What were some favorite games you played during 2018? I’d love to hear your responses and start a discussion, so please, leave your comments in the notes!

[tristinai]

Shakarian Seasonal drabble

Dedicated to @mordinette for being such an awesome person and helping keep this ship afloat even among all the crap that went down with ME:A this year. Season’s greetings and I hope you enjoy this :)

This drabble was very, very, very loosely based off one of these prompts:

15: It’s Christmas and I’ve locked myself out of my apartment, you’re my neighbor and you saw me sitting outside looking miserable, so you invited me in your apartment until help arrives. (Shakarian, implied renegon!Shepard, no reapers!AU, rating T)

Shepard stumbled out of the lift as it reached, what she hoped, was her floor, tumbling into one of the hideous potted plants that served as decoration. Blearily, she recalled flashes of conversation from earlier in the evening, of the dangers of mixing ryncol with sovak juice, and mentally noted that this part of the night, of her inebriated 'walk of shame' back to her subsidized quarters on the Citadel, was something best kept to herself. She doubted Vega or Joker would ever let her live it down, risking insubordination to get in a few jabs about how their 'tough-as-nails' commander couldn't hold her drink.

As she righted the assaulted plant, withered leaves crumbling in her rough hands and over use of force to get the damned thing to stay still, she chuckled softly to herself, thinking back on her evening with her crew. She had always hated Christmas, outright refused to celebrate as the holiday brought up too many painful memories of better times on Mindoir. But Vega had been insistent, joined by Alenko and Williams to give the new Commander of the Normandy a proper Alliance welcome. Where, in the past, Shepard would respond to such bonding attempts by exerting her authority and scoffing at such fraternization, she found her rough edges softened by the crew and by the end of the night, had to grudgingly admit that it beat drinking alone in her apartment.

Well, that was, until she tried for what felt like the fiftieth time to punch in her new key code and was rewarded with a flashing red light and an obnoxious beep.

“Stupid ass door. Why do I even need you if you can't perform your only damned function and open? Maybe I should blast off the stupid keypad and...”

Huffing irritably, she leaned against the door, arms folded over her chest, and glared down at the floor. She had done that once, back in her youth, and got into a world of shit from the higher ups. In truth, it was her own fault for having hastily punched in a new number that morning and not saving it somewhere on her data pad. Numbers had never been her strong point, after all.

“Forget your new code, too?”

There was a soothing hum, vocals that vibrated like a purr, the gentle teasing causing the corners of her lips to lift despite her foul mood. She tilted her head, immediately regretting the movement as it made her vision spin faster. Her neighbor, a turian whose name she had never bothered to learn, was leaning in a similar way against his door, though, from what she could tell, he wasn't swaying on his feet or looked nearly as off-balance as she felt.

Just how much ryncol did she drink again?

“Didn't see you there, C-Sec,” Shepard greeted, referring to him by the nickname she had assigned him.

His voice hummed in what must have been turian for a laugh, mandibles clicking. “Still going with C-Sec? You could try asking me my name.”

“And ruin the mystery?” the Alliance commander said, grinning. “You're C-Sec: all around turian bad boy with a license to dispense justice in a galaxy going to shit.”

“You got all that from the few times we've said 'hello'?”

Shepard shrugged. “My mind filled in the blanks.”

“Not to discredit your ability to read people, Alliance,” the turian answered, mirth in his tone as he mimicked her method of choosing nicknames, “but there's not much 'justice' to dispense when one's assigned to the Presidium.”

“You mean to tell me there are no political scandals or corruption to crack down on among those uptight pricks?”

She had only had the misfortune of convening with Earth's own Ambassador, a slimy opportunist named 'Udina', twice since relocating to the Citadel. Even breathing the same air as him only made her more antsy to be back out in the field and shoot something.

“Sure, there's corruption. But we're not supposed to talk about that,” the turian said. “Not when Matriach T'Lani is in violation of the Domesticated Species Act or a hanar offends an elcor with its propaganda on the Enkindlers. We, at C-Sec, take our work quite seriously and tackle only the most pressing cases.”

The Commander scoffed at the bitter note in her neighbor's voice. “You want to talk 'bullshit', try escorting a Spectre halfway across the galaxy and being told, 'That's classified' every time you ask why in the hell we're flying to the ass end of nowhere. Brownie points if you piss off said Spectre by repeating the question while being shot at.”

“Mind giving me those 'brownie points' if I can guess who the Alliance is playing escort to?”

“Brownie points?” Shepard laughed. “I'll buy you a damned drink, C-Sec.”

“High-strung, hates having his authority questioned? Sounds like you've met Saren.”

“Is there some secret turian society that meets weekly to gossip over their latest dealings with humans or are you just that good?”

The laugh she received this time seemed to vibrate from the turian's chest and it only widened the grin on her face. “Oh, I'm that good, Alliance. Plus, I stopped going to those meetings months ago.”

Shepard chuckled loudly, shifting her body to attempt the key code one more time. On her unsteady feet, she nearly fell face first into the door but a strong talon on her arm kept her righted. It felt warm...nice. But she didn't dwell long on that feeling, tapping her fingers on the number pad and growling to herself when the light flashed red once more.

“Gonna have to postpone that drink, C-Sec. Looks like I'm not getting in there tonight.”

She was out of credits and had left her wallet before going out, her latest attempt at budgeting coming back to bite her in the ass. Surprisingly, she found herself regretting not being able to spend more time with the C-Sec officer. If their banter was anything to go off of, she had a feeling he was just the kind of friend she wanted in her life, as few as those were.

“I think the last thing you need is more alcohol,” the turian said. There was a pause, his vocals seeming to rumble in her ears as he contemplated his next words. “There's a cafe, open all hours, not far from here. How about we get you some coffee and you tell me more about Saren getting on your nerves? On me.”

“Coffee sounds good about now,” the Commander said, leaning a bit more into the turian's hold on her as she let him lead her to the lift. “And, in the words of our good Spectre, 'That's classified.' Perhaps you can tell me more about the Matriarch's pet and I'll tell you all about how my hamster went AWOL last week while we were chasing down batarians in the Outer Rim. If you love 'pet problems', you'll get a kick out of that one, C-Sec.”

“On one condition: how about you stop calling me 'C-Sec' and we exchange names instead?”

“Straight to the point. And they say forwardness gets you nowhere,” Shepard said, with a smirk. Maybe it was the ryncol but the borderline flirty tone she was using only emboldened her to continue as she noted the flicking of the turian's mandibles, a tell she had learned was turian for a 'blush' in her limited experience with the race. There was something endearing about it that had her grinning from ear to ear. “Commander Jane Shepard: Alliance Navy. Specialized in close-range combat, with years of training in forgetting my own damn key code and locking myself out of places. Lifelong enemy of doors.”

“Officer Garrus Vakarian: all around turian bad ass with a license to dispense justice in a galaxy going to shit,” Garrus answered, humor in his vocals. “The last part was a title given to me by an Alliance Commander as mean in the field as she is at threatening inanimate objects that don't do as she says.”

Shepard punched the turian lightly in the arm as they both stepped into the lift. “Watch yourself, Vakarian. Lip like that will get you on Commander Shepard's bad side. And I have it on good authority that she's got a mean right hook.”

“I'll take your word for it, Shepard.”

They shared a laugh as the lift closed and descended down to the ground floor. And for not the first, nor the last, time that evening, Shepard was happy she didn't stay in that Christmas.

[illusivesoul]

37, 21, 14, 40, 35, 7 for MER week ask!

Thanks for asking :)

Friendship:

7. What’s the most stupid thing they ever did together ?

Katerina convinced Kaidan to go out “for a couple of drinks. We’ll be back before you know it” Several hours later, both of them were roaming through the Citadel, getting in the face of every C-Sec officer they encountered on the Citadel, shouting “We’re the Spooky Spectres” and “We have… diplomatic immunity!”

Kaidan wasn’t happy when he saw the news reports the next day.

Family:

14. Do they spend their holidays together ?

When she goes back to Earth, usually in the free time she gets duromg Holidays, Katerina always visits the person that’s the closest thing she’s got to family, her ‘foster’ dad, Jonathan Brown.

But she rarely visits Earth, only once every couple of years. Most of the time she spends her holidays drinking with Anderson, Karin or on her own on the Citadel.

Romance:

21. What happens to them after the defeat of the Reapers ?

Liara and the crew get stuck on a remote planet after the Crucible was fired. After several months after the Normandy has been reapired and its on its way back to Earth. Liara choose to stay on Thessia, saying that there was nothing left for her on Earth. She tried to help rebuild Armali as much as she could, but she realized that the Asari civilization she knew and grew up in was gone forever.

Shepard ended up badly injured, alone and captured by separatists forces fighting and resisting the Alliance’s military offensives to take full control of Earth after the Reaper War. She eventually escaped and ended up in the middle of a war, with both sides wanting her dead. Officially the Alliance declared her dead and used her image for recruitment and propaganda. She eventually learned that most of the crew had survived and that Liara was alive and back on Thessia, but she choose not to get in touch with anyone. She decided that it was best to let everyone forget her, and let them move on with their lives.

The both reunited eventually but a very long time had passed.

35. Is there anything they dislike about the other ?

Several things. Liara hates Shepard’s recklessness, when Shepard brushes her off, telling her typical phrase “I’m fine” every time Liara tries to help her and that Shepard and that Shepard drinks too much.

Shepard dislikes Liara being a workaholic, how she more often than not refuses she’s made a mistake and she doesn’t like how Liara is sometimes overly optimistic about certain situations. Shepard is always expecting the worse, and sometimes hearing Liara telling her everything’s gonna be Ok isn’t what she wants to hear.

37. Who should’ve been a romance option ?

Shiala, Gianna Parasini, Joker, James Vega. Thane and Garrus for Maleshep and Jack, Tali and Miranda for Femshep.

Random:

40. Is there someone in the squad of ME/ME2/ME3 Shepard dislikes? Why ?

Katerina had a very difficult relation with Miranda and Jack at first. Miranda because she didn’t trust her and Jack because it was a simple clash of powerful personalities. They eventually moved past it and learned to trust each other.

She doesn’t like AIs, so it took a lot of time to get to have a somewhat “decent” relationship with EDI and Legion.

[demaindear]

Happy late N7 day!!! Here’s to tears and Shepard (read it on ao3)

“-and she says ‘looks like we lost the signal’ and disconnects. Again.”

Cheers and laughter followed Joker’s story, Vega thumping the table, Tali giggling and even Liara, who normally would’ve been appalled, smiled along with the others. Specialist Traynor’s face shifted between amusement and awe.

A “Bekenstein Wake” it was called. It had started innocently enough, grief and pain still too close for laughter, the air too tense for jokes. But then Vega, with his hand around a bottle, had told them about the day he first met the commander, first met her, and just like that, the tension was broken. Tali had, with a fond and giggling voice, told them of her stupidity back at the Citadel and how her savior had arrived in form of a human, red hair flying behind her, with a krogan and a turian at her side. Liara told the story of their first meeting, and Joker told them about the night he let Shepard fly the Normandy, and the disaster that followed, his voice only giving out once.

They shared stories and jokes, and when someone’s throat closed, when it got a bit too real and it hurt a bit too much, someone else continued. Then drinks and alcohol had been consumed and the stories main focus left Shepard. But they always had something to do with her. Tali told them about how it felt to return home from her Pilgrimage, Cortez of moving on and Liara of her time on Illum. Her name echoed throughout all of them. The pain faded, at least for a while, and laughter took it’s place. For almost all of them.

Garrus hadn’t touched anything all night. He’d blamed it on headaches, having responsibilities tomorrow, not wanting an hangover. But when Vega had teased him, Garrus had pretended to takes a swing of his untouched dexto-beer. And they were all satisfied. So Garrus smiled when prompted, chuckled when he was expected to and sat with the people, who if anyone should understand him, and pretended like his heart wasn’t hurting. Pretended that it didn’t hurt to breathe. That it didn't hurt to live. But he didn’t drink. Because deep down, he’d made a promise to someone, and himself, that his next drink would be with her.

“Garrus,” Tali hiccupped, interrupting his grief. “Do you remember the pyjak chase?”

Despite himself, Garrus chuckled. “A mission worthy of Spectres.”

Joker laughed at that, perhaps a bit too loud to be perceived as true happiness, and Vega grinned, “Let me guess. She killed them?”

Tali giggled, “She was so careful and was doing so good. And we finished the mission, everything going smoothly. But then afterwards, when we were leaving-”

“She hit one with the Mako,” Liara finished and Tali nodded, laughing.

“Pyjaks, fish and space cows. It’s surprising that her hamster still lives,” Vega said, listing on his fingers the amount of animals whose life Shepard had ended.

Joker, who’d gotten suspiciously still for a moment, cleared his throat and raised his bottle, “Here’s to chasing space monkeys and saving the galaxy!”

But raising a bottle in honour of their commander and as goodbye to their friend was too much. So as the people around the table raised their glasses, Garrus sneaked out the door and left.

A hand appeared on his shoulder and Liara sat down beside him. The blush that had been high on her cheeks before was gone and her smile had faded. She glanced at the plaque in his hand. He had refused to put it up among the fallen.

“She’s not dead.”

Garrus body immediately went tense, “I don’t want to talk abo- what?”

Liara smiled, a weak copy of her smile before, “The things they say. The stories. Someone who’s done all that would not let Reapers be the end of her.”

But Liara hadn't seen Shepard in her final moments, hadn't held Shepard throughout her last night. Because what they didn't understand was that Shepard had known, just like everyone else, that she wouldn't survive the war. That she was never meant to. And that's what hurt the most, the fact that Shepard had accepted it. She had slept the night before Earth, she'd fought her way through London, she had said her goodbyes, knowing that it was the last time she did it. She had run, willingly and aware, towards her death.

Garrus felt his stomach sink, “I don’t think she planned on coming back.”

“She never does. But she always do.”

Garrus looked down at the plaque in his hands and thought of the woman behind the name. Liara rested her head on him and put her hands over Shepard’s name. “It takes more than that to kill her.”

When Garrus didn’t reply Liara continued, “And someone who has that many people waiting for her, worrying about her... She has something to come back to.”

EDI’s voice interrupted them, “There’s an inbound call from the Alliance. Admiral Hackett is on the line. I recommend you answer.”

Liara stood up, “We have contact?”

“Correct. I suggest you hurry.”

Garrus had almost forgot that the rest of the world existed, simply because his was gone. Hurrying to his feet and rushing after Liara, Garrus asked, “Why are you telling us?”

“You are the only ones aboard who are not currently in an intoxicated state.”

“EDI, what is the call about,” Liara asked, while making her way through the war room.

“There are news. Also…” A pause, and Garrus heart stopped. When she continued, there was a shift in EDI’s tone that made it start again. “Someone is requesting to know what happened to the Commander’s hamster.”

Liara stopped and Garrus head snapped up as she twirled to meet him. Garrus couldn’t breathe, “Is it…”

Liara grinned, shoulders shaking with laughter, “Who else?”

[flyingicecreamtruck]

Hard Left Turn: Shepard Part 1

Notes: Thane Lives AU! Several lines of dialog and the contents of letters from the game are used verbatim. I'm also fudging the time line of the game slightly.

Disclaimer: Mass Effect and its characters are not mine.

Summary: Oh fuck it, she thinks as she launched herself into his arms to the hoots and cheers of her crew, I deserve this.

“So what do you think?”

The cabin was tiny; nothing more then a large room with a kitchen and a separate bathroom, but that didn't matter: the back door opened onto a private section of beach along the Pacific. She smiled as she shifted her weight, floor boards creaking. Actual wooden floors! “It's perfect. How did you find this place?”

“I have my ways,” Kaidan murmured as he moved up behind her.

She hummed as his arms slid around her. For a moment they simply stood, listening to the sound of the distant surf. “10 days,” she said dreamily, “10 days of nothing to do but eat, sleep and lay on the beach.”

Kaidan chuckled into her hair. “Are you going to be able to cope with that level of inactivity?”

“Hmm, you have a point,” She turned in his arms with a wicked grin, slipping a leg between his. “You may need to distract me.”

“Subtle.” But Kaidan's hands were already slipping under her shirt. It was quickly tossed away, hands returning to cup her ass. With a small jump she wrapped her legs around his waist. He grinned as he carried her to the bed, dumping her unceremoniously on it.

She laughed as she bounced, quickly wriggling out of her pants as Kaidan stripped above her. The bed dipped as he crawled towards her and Shepard moaned as his weight settled on her, his half hard cock pressing against her thigh. She pushed her fingers through his hair as Kaidan's mouth found her neck-

“Commander, we are currently one hour away from docking at the Citdael.”

Shepard jerked awake in the darkness of her cabin, heart pounding, sheets twisted low around her legs. Fuck, she thinks as guilt surged through her. An hour away? “How long was I asleep?”

“You have been asleep for the last 6 hours and 48 minutes.”

“7 hours?” Why hadn't anyone woken her up?  She was supposed to have called Thane hours ago to let him know the Normandy's ETA. She sat up, suddenly aware of a heavy throbbing between her legs. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Stripping off her sweat soaked tank top and underwear Shepard stumbled into the shower, cranking the faucet all the way to the right. She hissed as the icy cold water poured over her.

Her arousal quickly vanished but it did nothing for her guilt.

Kaidan. The knot in her stomach tightened. It had been there ever since she had received his e-mail two days ago. He was awake and wanted to talk. Talk about what? He had made it clear that he would never be able to see past her involvement with Cerberus. Is that what they did to you? Is the woman I loved still in there? A shudder went through her as she remembered Saren, convulsing, flesh burning away to reveal a husked skeleton. A familiar panic shot through her. What if-

“Commander, are you all right? I am reading high levels of-”

“I'm fine EDI,” she said through chattering teeth, “Tell Joker I'll be on the bridge in 20.”

“Acknowledged. Also, several of the Grissom Academy students have requested permission to observe our approach to the Citadel from the bridge.”

She sighed and adjusted the water temperature. “As long as Joker says it's all right.”

“He does. I will relay the message.”

“Thank you EDI.”

She finished her shower and dried off, moving out into the bedroom to get dressed. She sat on the bed to pull on her boots. When she was done, Shepard picked up the data pad that lay on her pillow. She had transferred all of Thane's letter and videos onto it. She carried it with her during the day and went to sleep to the sound of his voice at night.

He had written her faithfully even though he knew the letters would not reach her. That made her guilt surge again. Thane had been on her mind constantly during their separation but she had not bothered to write him. What was the point? The Alliance had not allowed any outside contact.

She had sent him brief messages over the last month, letting him know where the Normandy was headed: the Shrike Abyssal, the Cerberus lab on Sanctum, Grissom Academy. Once they had rescued the students and set course for the Citadel she had found enough time to sit down and call him. She had spent the first five minutes crying, much to her embarrassment. It had been so good to hear his voice. Thane had merely smiled at her. I had the same reaction when I received your letter, Siha. They had talked for nearly three hours before Kahlee Sanders had pulled her away. She had hung up promising to call once the Normandy was 3 hours out.

I need to call him. But how could she even look him in the eye? After seven long months they would finally be reunited and she had been dreaming about sex with another man. Fuck. With a sigh Shepard put down the data pad and stood. She would find Thane after she got Jack and the Grissom Academy students settled.

Once on the bridge she allowed herself to be distracted by the routine of docking and the excited chatter of Jack's students. At the familiar thump and hiss of the Citadel's airlock cycling she reached up to flip on the intercom. “All hands, this is the captain. The local time is 11:43 am. We will be pushing off promptly at 1900 hours tomorrow. All crew must be back at their posts by 1800 hours for the pre-flight lockdown. Enjoy your brief shore leave.”

As she exited the bridge Shepard was startled to see most of the crew already at the airlock. Cortez had declined the offer of shore leave. Shepard frowned; she would need to talk to him soon. Liara was still holed up in her office fine tuning her equipment and didn't want to be disturbed. “Garrus, wasn't the Primarch supposed to come with you?” He had spoken of his plans to meet with the Council and tour the refugee camp.

“Yes, but there were some last minute reports from Palavan. I'll meet him later.”

“Did something happen? Am I needed in the War Room?”

“No, I'm sure everything is fine.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Garrus, there's a war on.”

“Right,” her friend said, mandibles twitching, “By fine I mean-hey!”

“Can we hurry this up,” Joker said, moving up beside her, accidentally bumping against Garrus in the press of bodies, “Time is shore leave and some of us can't walk very fast.”

Vega waved a hand at the airlock door. Was he bouncing slightly? “Commanders first.”

Thane was waiting for her and so was Kaidan. With a deep breath she exited the airlock half expecting to be run over by Jack's student's in their eagerness to see the Citadel.

When no one tried to push past her she turned to look back, but as she did a familiar shade of green caught her eye. Oh, she thinks, heart beginning to hammer. She turned back around to see Thane walking towards her.

Drell facial expressions were far more subtle then human yet Thane's face lit up as he saw her. In that moment Shepard forgot everything; the guilt; her exhaustion, the war raging around them. None of that mattered because Thane was standing right in front of her, healthy and whole.

It had been hard to tell any difference through a vid screen but Thane looked incredible. His scales were a more vivid green and seemed to shimmer faintly in the artificial light of the waiting area. It took every once of control she had not to throw herself at him. “Thane, I...”  She bit her lip to keep from crying. You talked to him yesterday! Get a grip.

“Siha,” he murmured, reaching out to take her hand. He raised it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles.

Oh fuck it, she thinks as she launched herself into his arms to the hoots and cheers of her crew, I deserve this. Thane did not seem to mind the audience; one hand sinking into her hair, the other twisting into her hoodie to clutch her close.

“I've missed you so much,” she choked out.

Thane made a low noise in the back of his throat, pressing his face into her hair.

“This is so romantic!” someone gasped. It sounded like Traynor.

Right. Her crew. She reluctantly pulled away and turned just in time to see several omni-tools flick off. She glared at Joker. He stared back with a look of exaggerated innocence. When she turned back to look at Thane she saw amusement dancing in his eyes.

“You knew we were coming,” she accused, narrowing her eyes in mock anger.

Thane took her hand again, lacing their fingers together as much as he could. “When you did not call at the appointed time I became worried. I called the Normandy to make sure everything was all right. EDI informed me that you had fallen asleep. I did not wish for her to wake you.”

I was dreaming about Kaidan. “I'm sorry, Thane. I didn't mean to worry you. I should have called when I woke up-”

“You are here now. That is all that matters.”

“I missed you too Lizard Man.”

Thane turned with a small noise of amusement. “It is good to see you Jack. You look well. It seems that teaching agrees with you.”

“Don't spread that around. I have a reputation to maintain.”

“Indeed,” Without letting go of her hand Thane turned to the rest of the crew. “It is good to see you all again. Garrus, I am sorry about Palavan.”

“Thanks. We'll make those bastard fight for every inch of ground,” Garrus gripped Thane's free hand in greeting. “It's good to see you too. You're coming with us right? I'm going to need my sniping partner.”

“I'm afraid I was given no choice in the matter.” Thane squeezed her fingers gently as she turned to him, surprised. She had given no such ultimatum. “Joker and I had quite the conversation earlier, Siha. I was told that he and EDI had already kidnapped half the crew and it would no trouble to kidnap one more if I refused to leave the Citadel. That must be a fascinating story. I look forward to hearing it tonight.”

“Joker!”

“Gah! Garrus, be a pal and pull this knife out of my back.”

Suddenly impatient to have Thane to herself Shepard made shooing motions at the crew.“All right. The meet and greet is over. I don't want to see any of you until tomorrow afternoon.” That prompted another round of hoots and and good-natured jeers. “We'll have plenty of time for introductions later James,” she said as he started to protest.“Jack, I'll meet you at the Embassies shortly.”

“Try not to show up covered in a rash this time!”

Mortified, Shepard could only stare as her crew dispersed; Vega chasing after Jack demanding to know what she was talking about. Kahlee smirked at her before following Jack. “We'll be lucky if that story isn't all over the extranet in an hour,” she muttered, pressing her face into Thane's shoulder, ignoring the slight ache in her hand. She was going to have to build up her immunity to his venom all over again. “How quickly do you think I can find another crew and escape?”

Thane chuckled, wrapping his arms around her. She sighed, savoring the feel of being back in his arms. It had been a long, lonely seven months. “So, tell me about tonight.”

“Dinner will be at 8 o'clock. Kolyat wishes to speak to you so he will be joining us.”

“He is?” She hoped she didn't sound too disappointed.

“Yes,” Thane said amused, “Kolyat has recently begun to study with the Priesthood. Through prayer and meditation he has been moved to apologize to those he has wronged, including you.”

Kolyat did not owe her anything. He had just been a confused angry kid. “I supposed I could apologize as well. I did punch him.”

A beep from her omni-tool made Shepard sigh. She did not need to look down to know that it was Jack telling her to hurry up. She pulled away to look at Thane. “I'm sorry. I've got so much to do. I need to get Jack and her students taken care of, a Spectre named Jondum Bau wants to see me, Aria T'Loak is here for some reason and Kaidan's awake. He's asked to see me.”

“Yes, we have spoken several times. He mentioned he had written you. I have not told him who I am, of course,” Thane said quickly at her raised eyebrow. “And I am aware that this will cause complications should he wish to rejoin the crew.”

She snorted. “There's no chance of that happening.” Is that what they did to you? Thane cocked his head, asking a silent question. She shook her head. Now wasn't the time. “I'm going to tell him about us, Thane. I-”

Her omni-tool beeped again. “Jack?” Thane asked. She nodded as she typed out a quick reply. “It is good to know she has not changed that much,” Thane said dryly. “I will not keep you any longer. I have much to do before tonight but I have enough time to accompany you to the Embassies.”

Thane glanced at her slightly redden hand and offered his arm. She took it with a grin. “Why thank you, Sere.” Shepard said as they walked down the hall to the elevator. “Don't worry about my hand. I need to go find Dr. Chakwas anyway. I'll have her give me something.”

“She has been eagerly awaiting your arrival.” Thane said as the elevator doors shut behind them.

“Yeah, I got her strongly worded email shortly after I got yours.”

Thane chuckled as the doors opened to the Embassy lobby. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her hair. “Until tonight, Siha.”

Shepard stepped out into the lobby and watched the doors close behind her, wondering if the fluttery feeling in her stomach was what swooning felt like.

[unknowntitans]

RobStar Week 2017 - Day 2

Day 2 – Arrival (Teen Tyrants)

Dark energy arched around a small cylindrical room, runes of unimaginable complexity and intricacy were drawn into the ground in a blood red chalk. In the centre of the room sat a small shrine with a collection of items of different magical symbolism were seated on small plinths surrounding the shrine, dark energy connecting from them to the centre shrine. A few feet above the shrine hovered a sorceress cloaked in red, the energy from the shrine seeped into her body as she channelled her power. Her vibrant magenta hair contrasted majorly with her grey skin tone, her eyes were closed in concentration as she tried to pinpoint the source of a small ripple she had felt throughout reality, it was a tiny, miniscule event like a single rain droplet hitting a lake but she had felt it and the energy surrounding it seemed familiar. Repeating her mantra she felt herself approaching the energy spike and a few moments later she had found what she had been searching for, a tower, their tower.

Unclasping her communicator from her belt she held it to her mouth, “Hey dipshits! Come to the shrine I’ve got something” in a few short moments the dark, twisted team had assembled.

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Red Robin, Red Raven and Blackfire had been the first members of the team, they had all met when Blackfire had landed on Earth in an attempt to hide from the Centauri police for her numerous crimes throughout the Vega system. With the help from her two new teammates she had slaughtered the entire armada of troops that had come to try and capture her.

Blackfire had been born as Koriand’r, princess of Tamaran but due to a rare gene defect she had been born with black hair as opposed to both her red headed parents and even her brother. Because of this she had been given the nickname of Blackfire by her parents, many saw her black hair as being a sign that she was weak and inferior to the rest of her family. That mistake would cost Tamaran dearly when she willingly allowed the Citadel to invade her home planet and even took the liberty of burning the royal palace to the ground herself, Tamaran was nothing more than a wasteland when she left. Her previous capture by the Psions had granted her enough power to rival anything in the galaxy that would challenge her.

Red Robin had once been the protégé of the infamous Batman of Gotham, after being adopted by the billionaire Bruce Wayne he had learned his secret, Dick Grayson joined the caped crusader as Robin to memorialise the loss of his parents. However, over the years the crime in Gotham had gotten to Dick, nothing him or Batman ever did had any real effect. Any criminals they arrested would break out and they would have to re-capture them over and over again in an endless cycle. Dick had finally snapped when his adopted brother Jason Todd had been murdered by Batman’s most infamous villain ‘The Joker’, the pair had both been devastated by his loss but Bruce refused to take action, Dick had pleaded with him to kill The Joker and put an end to this but Bruce had refused. Acting out of grief and revenge, one night Dick had tracked down the Joker and killed him using the same crowbar that had been used to take Jason’s life. That moment had caused the last remnants of the teenager’s sanity to crack and splinter, secretly rigging explosive charges all throughout the Bat Cave, Dick bade farewell to his former mentor and father figure in an explosion so big it could be seen across Gotham. He didn’t need a mentor, what he needed was a team.

Red Raven had been born in the realm of Azarath, as she grew up she discovered the truth that the cosmic demon Trigon was her father. She became obsessed with understanding her demonic lineage and what power she could ascertain from it, one night during her studies the ethereal form of Trigon had appeared to her offering her unlimited power at his side. Being so young she accepted his offer without question and he had fulfilled his end of the bargain, granting her power that almost rivalled his own. In exchange Trigon was able to manifest and destroy Azarath, witnessing her world and her family obliterated by her own selfish action caused the young demoness to lose her mind, seeing Trigon as her only remaining family she pledged her loyalty to him. Trigon explained that using her powers she could open portals to other parallel worlds, and in connection to that he offered her another proposition; for every world she allowed him to conquer he would bestow upon her even greater power. It was an offer she could not accept quick enough.

Tempest and Arsenal we’re newer additions to the team, they were a few years older than any of the other members but still loyal and respectful of their leader. Tempest had once been Aqualad, protégé of Aquaman, after hearing plans from Black Manta and Aquaman to destroy the surface world in order to ensure Atlantis’ safety Tempest became concerned. He had visited the surface world numerous times and realised how much it had to offer, why destroy it when instead the world could just be conquered piece by piece? Killing Aquaman, Tempest convinced Black Manta of his plans and the two began their plan, slowly taking over small towns and cities under the name of Atlantis. The US government had decided that starting a war with Atlantis could be devastating and so allowed the Atlanteans their new land. After realising that Red Robin’s team had similar aspirations he aligned himself with them, under the name ‘Tempest’ because of the impending storm of Atlantis that would one day claim the world. Arsenal’s beginning was not unlike that of Red Robin, he had originally served Green Arrow as his sidekick Speedy but after seeing first hand Oliver Queen’s unwillingness to put an end to a problem he decided to rebel, taking up the alias of ‘Arsenal’ he began secretly working against his mentor, taking out criminals himself his own way with lethal force. Eventually Green Arrow encountered this ‘Arsenal’ and upon realising that this villain was his partner he found himself to shocked to react, tragically this pause gave Arsenal the perfect opportunity to strike. Putting an arrow straight through the eye of his former mentor, before leaving to make his own way in the world. Discovering that with the Teen Tyrants he found a place to call home in the ruthlessness of the group.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

“What is it?” Red Robin asked

“I have located the universe home to those pests, the ‘Teen Titans’” holding up a golden, bejewelled hand mirror the group watched as the screen changed to a picture of the counterpart team they had been defeated by.

Tempest snarled but quickly his face changed to a sickening smirk, “I’ve been looking forward to tearing that android apart”

Arsenal patted his friend on the shoulder with his own sadistic smile, “The green kid is mine…I’m gonna put an arrow through his head”

“My knock off is mine and mine alone” The dark haired Tamaranean commanded, after the discovery that the shapeshifter Gemini had been posing as Blackfire, the Tyrants had managed to track down where their alien powerhouse was being held and rescued her.

Putting his arm around his girlfriend’s waist he smirked, “Same goes for me, Robin is mine”

“Then I’ve got the other me” Red Raven added with a grin, “anyone got a problem with that?” The others smirked as they shook their heads, “opening the portal” she stated as she channelled her energy into her mirror, within moments a breach appeared.

Red Robin stepped forward to lead the charge, “Teen Tyrants!” he paused, a sadistic grin forming on his face “tear them apart”

The receiving end of the breach appeared in a street in the middle of the city, stepping through the team looked around to see Titans Tower off in the distance. “We’re miles away!” Tempest complained

“I’d like to you see you try and navigate a wormhole, fuckhead!” Red Raven replied angrily

“I wished to destroy their tower first, that would leave them with no place to hide!” Blackfire commented irritably

Red Robin stepped over to Blackfire and placed his hand against her face, “Be calm, my love. We’ll just destroy their city for a while until they get the message, then once we kill them…we can destroy their tower”

An intrigued smile formed on her face and she kissed the back of his hand affectionately, “I love it when you talk dirty to me” she replied with a purr.

“We could even claim their tower as our own…keep a portal open between realms and rule both worlds!” his voice sadistic and enticing

Blackfire threw herself at her boyfriend, wrapping her legs around his waist and clamping her lips to his hungrily, she moaned as he responded just as eagerly to her. Within moments their hands were all over each other, his under her top and hers snaking their way down to his pants.

Arsenal spoke up causing the couple to separate “Hey! Can you two save the fucking till we’re done here? I wanna kill some Titans!”

The demented couple smirked at their equally demented team-mate, “Killing them will make it even sweeter” Red Robin whispered into her ear, soliciting a shiver from her.

“Then let us make this quick” Blackfire replied, holding out her fist she charged a large purple starbolt and aimed it at a nearby car. Once the bolt had engulfed her fist she released it and it hurtled at the car, causing a deafening explosion. The sounds of civilian’s screaming nearby garnered a grin from the group. “This city shall fear it’s new rulers!”

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Robin huffed a sigh of boredom as he flicked through countless channels finding nothing of interest to watch. “How can there be hundreds of channels and still nothing decent to watch?” he muttered sadly.

Starfire, who was currently curled into his side with her head resting on the inside of his shoulder, gave him a sympathetic look. “Perhaps we could go up to the roof and look out at the city for a while?”

“And see what?” he replied sarcastically. He caught himself as he spoke and he smiled apologetically at the slightly hurt face of his girlfriend. “sorry…I didn’t mean that sweetheart…It’s just that-“

“You are bored” she finished for him, snuggling closer to him

“Yeah, and I get a bit antsy when I’m bored. We haven’t had an alert in over a week”

She pondered his choice of words for a moment, “You feel like an ant?”

“No, not like a literal ant” he replied with a chuckle, kissing her forehead “I mean I get a bit irritable when I’m bored”

“Ohh” she replied in understanding, “at least we have had more time to spend together”

“That’s true” he replied with an affectionate smile, “I love you, Kori”

“I am certain that I love you more, Richard” she challenged, lovingly

The sound of the alarm caused the couple to leap up in surprise, almost knocking each other to the ground. They looked around in shock, it took them a few moments to even remember what the alert was since it was been so long since they last heard it. Cyborg rushed into the main room and over to the control panel, he read the screen “Huh?!” he asked surprised.

Beast Boy and Raven soon filed into the room and the 4 attempted to read the panel over Cyborg’s shoulder, “What’s wrong? What’s the alert?” Robin asked confused

“It says, ‘Teen Titans attacking Jump City’” Cyborg read aloud

“What?!” Beast Boy asked in shock, “what does that mean, we’re all right here!”

Cyborg typed quickly into the keyboard and pulled up a video feed from one of the traffic cameras in the city. The 5 Titans gasped simultaneously as they saw their dark doppelgangers destroying cars and buildings around them. “Those guys again!?” Beast Boy asked panicked.

“They’re destroying stuff to try and get our attention”

“Well, they certainly have it” Cyborg replied with a gulp

“We need a plan, they were strong last time we fought them so we need to be prepared for them” Robin declared

Starfire concentrated on the video and noticed her doppelganger, “But I thought Blackfire was a spy working against them?”

“Maybe that’s the real Blackfire, Gemini was probably just impersonating her whilst the real Blackfire was somewhere else” Raven replied

“Well that means that they’re even stronger now” Robin declared with a sigh

“Evil Raven was the problem last time, she was really strong. We could deal with the others” Beast Boy commented

“Then we should focus our attention on her first, deal with her and then take out the others” Cyborg strategized

“Good plan. If Blackfire is as strong as Starfire then she should also be a main target, once they’re both down we can deal with the rest” Robin elaborated.

“Then myself and Raven will focus each of our counterparts together” Starfire added

“Red Raven shouldn’t be able to take out both me and Starfire together” Raven said with a nod to Starfire.

“Okay, that’s our plan then. Everyone ready?” Robin asked

The rest of the team nodded confidently, “Those chumps aren’t gonna know what hit em” Beast Boy added with a smirk.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Blackfire smiled manically as she threw countless starbolts at the windows of buildings, watching the glass shatter and splinter as it hit the ground. People screamed for help from inside, begging for the attack to stop but it only spurred the demented Tamaranean further. Red Robin watched from the side, grinning at the power of his beloved, cheering for her as shops began to collapse from the barrage of blasts they had received. Shock filled his face as he saw a green starbolt collide with his girlfriend, causing her to stagger back a few feet.

“You will not harm anyone else!” the red haired Tamaranean yelled

Blackfire looked up from the ground and smirked in intrigue at her doppelganger, “Hello other me”

Starfire grimaced, “You will stop this Komand’r!”

Blackfire growled, “My name is Koriand’r!”

There was too many questions Starfire wanted to ask of her other self, “Regardless of whoever you are I will stop you!”

“Good luck” the dark-haired girl replied with a sickly-sweet mocking voice

Starfire growled, about ready to invert the other girl’s face with her fist until she spotted Red Raven landing next to her Tamaranean team mate. Turning to her friends, Starfire nodded at Raven as a signal and the two girls charged the red cloaked demoness, bolting past her doppelganger Starfire hurled a barrage of Starbolts at the girl forcing her to raise her shield in defence. With the distraction, Raven teleported behind Red Raven and focused a blast hitting her square in her back, Red Raven yowled in pain as she turned to block the other sorceress which in turn gave Starfire an opening.

“They’re trying to pick us off” Red Raven yelled to which Blackfire bolted in the sky to defend her team-mate. Raven attempted to grab hold of the Tamaranean with her powers but Blackfire was accelerating too fast to get a hold of.

“Watch out!” Raven called to Starfire

Blackfire grinned widely as she neared her doppelganger, she dodged the few starbolts being thrown at her with ease and angled her fist to hopefully break a few bones when her fist landed. However two of the starbolts collided in front of her causing a small puff of smoke to temporarily block her vision. When the smoke finally cleared her eyes went wide as her face was met with devastating punch from Starfire. Time seemed to stop for a second as her fist impacted and the force caused a visible shockwave to spread across the sky, and then in what was less than a few seconds the dark-haired girl had smashed into the ground, unconscious.

Red Robin watched his girlfriend plummet out of the sky and quickly ran to her side, “Kori!” he yelled in a panic.

Robin felt something stir within him, looking at his doppelganger he could see so many differences between them, his appearance, his mannerisms and most of all his attitude. But hearing the fear in his voice as he called out his beloved’s name definitely resonated within Robin as well. Because of this he ordered Beast Boy and Cyborg to hold off attacking Red Robin for a moment whilst he examined his injured girlfriend. Robin walked towards him, stopping about 20 feet in front of him and watching the worry filled face of the villain, “I’m giving you a chance, get her help, leave and don’t come back”

 “I’d take his offer, man. Else you’re gonna end up in the same state as her” Cyborg added

Red Robin looked up at them and glared, “You’ve done this to her, you’re gonna pay for it!” he screamed. Pulling out his bo-staff, he pressed a small button and a blade popped out of each end of the staff, “You’re gonna die… Arsenal, Tempest…tear em apart!” he commanded.

Arsenal and Tempest nodded with a smirk, each stalking towards Cyborg and Beast Boy leaving Red Robin to his battle.

Retracting his own staff Robin sighed, “You shouldn’t have come here” he charged Red Robin slamming his staff against his causing the red-cladded boy to be forced backwards as he blocked the attack. Taking his own swings, he found them to be easily parried and blocked, smacking his bo-staff into Red Robin’s shin the boy growled in pain. The two of them we’re pretty evenly matched but Robin had discovered his opponents flaw, his aggression, he spent too much time on the offense and not enough time on defence. Because of this Robin only had to block his opponents hits and then he could easily counter with his own, landing blow after blow on his opponent. “Your team relies on fear…you try and scare your enemies…but you don’t scare me”

“You will be scared” Red Robin growled, “we’re going to kill your little friends whilst you watch... Starfire will be the first you’ll have to watch die”

Robin growled, “You think your threats frighten me? You’re just as weak as I am, Blackfire makes you weak just as Starfire makes me weak”

“No!” Red Robin growled attempting to block Robin’s onslaught but failing, causing him to receive a hard blow to the stomach.

“You’re scared of losing her, just like I am” Robin added, swinging his bo-staff around he smacked it into his opponent’s back, forcing him to his knees. “It’s over, she needs help…so I’m going to offer you another chance…take her, leave…and never come back”

Red Robin snarled at his counterpart but looking back at his unconscious girlfriend he softened slightly and pulled out his communicator from his belt “Red Raven, Blackfire’s injured I need a portal back”

“You’re retreating?” the red sorceress asked angrily

“She’s badly hurt, open one. That’s an order!” Red Robin commanded, his voice breaking slightly from embarrassment

Red Raven dipped out of the sky to avoid Starfire and Raven’s attacks and briefly focusing her energy she re-opened the breach they used to enter.

“If you ever come back, I’ll make sure there won’t be a way home for you…or the others” Robin said in a deep threatening voice.

Red Robin walked over to Blackfire and lifted her body up bridal style, before stepping through the portal.

Hearing a series of shouts from behind him Robin dashed off to help Beast Boy and Cyborg.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Up in the clouds Starfire and Raven zipped around like fighter jets focusing their blasts on Red Raven, the demoness desperately attempted to fight back but every action left her open to their attacks. Growling in irritation she channelled her powers at Starfire, managing to conjure a sleep spell, because of her rush she only managed to put her to sleep for 2 minutes but it was enough to begin her offense once more. Raven dove after Starfire’s plummeting form, catching her with her energy and gently floating her down to the ground. However, this gave Red Raven ample time to recover and she began attacking full force against Raven, a blast of red energy hit hard against Raven’s chest causing her to topple backwards a considerable distance and fall beneath the clouds. When Raven managed to climb back up above the clouds her eyes grew wide in horror as she saw the demoness pulling an object towards the city. A full sized, full capacity commercial airline, was being pulled from the sky and being guided down towards the heart of the city. Using all of her might Raven gripped the plane attempting to hold it still, but she could feel her grip slipping as Red Raven used more and more of her power. Raven could feel herself being drained by the massive power usage and she was beginning to succumb, suddenly the plane left his nose dive and began to tilt back towards the cloud. Raven gave a shocked gasp as she saw Starfire single-handedly tilting the plane back up to the correct angle. Letting go of her hold of the plane she took hold of Red Raven and tossed her at high velocity into the pavement below. Giving a look of relief to Starfire the two lifted the plane back above the clouds and back onto its flight path.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

It didn’t take long for the 3 Titans to overpower the 2 Tyrants, Arsenal required range to fire any of his arrows and so Beast Boy wrapping around him as a Boa Constrictor removed any chance he once had at attacking. At the same time Cyborg and Robin focused their attack on Tempest, his water abilities proved hard to counter at first but the Atlantean had underestimated the power of Robin’s belt, swirling a vortex of water around himself he attempted to use it as a shield but a small cryo-capsule colliding with the vortex froze it solid instantly as well as the Atlantean inside of it, a single blast from Cyborg’s canon left both the Tyrants unconscious. Walking over and tossing the unconscious pair through the portal, the 3 smiled as they saw Starfire and Raven land next to them, “Red Raven?” Robin asked

Starfire gestured to the incapacitated girl over her shoulder, dropping her next to the portal they all grinned at the defeated look on her face “Your team has been defeated I suggest you lea-”

Starfire was cut off as what sounded like fast approaching footsteps came from the other side of the portal, Red Raven’s eyes widened in terror. “No!” she begged, the sound seemed to only get louder “No! Please!” she continued to beg as she backed away from the portal.

The Titans looked at her unnerved, “Is something else comi-“ Robin asked but before he could finish speaking a black and blue blur blasted through the portal and instantaneously had Red Raven by the throat. She choked and gurgled as she tried to pull it’s hand off her throat but her injuries had left her energy drained.

“You have failed me…yet again” a demonic gravelly voice spoke from the demon-looking creature.

“No…only the others did” she pleaded, still attempting to struggle

It turned around and looked over the Titans, it’s face resembling that of death, piercing black eyes looked at the group with intrigue before returning to its captive “You were defeated by inferior versions of yourselves…how embarrassing”

“Who are you?” Raven asked

The creature turned to look at them once more, dropping Red Raven to the floor and fully turning to face them. It’s suit similarly resembled that of the flash, even having the lightning bolt symbol on the chest but the normal vibrant red had been replaced by a pitch-black hue. It’s mask resembled some sort of execution mask, even having the slits in the mouth piece to allow breathing. Small sparks of blue lightning arced around the dark speedster to signify its power. Stepping towards the group they all continued to look unnerved by its presence, in less than a second it had zipped over to Robin and hoisted him up by his shirt, glaring into his eyes it laughed “You are their leader, how did you win?”

“Who are you?” Raven asked again, growing irritated

“Zoom” it replied as if its name was some prestigious title

“Put him down!” Starfire commanded stepping up to the speedster

It chuckled in its low and gravelly voice, letting go of Robin it stepped over to Starfire and pushed its face down to be level with Starfire’s “Or…what?” it asked her “what could any of you do to me?”

A small blast in its back caused the speedster to stagger forwards, it turned around angrily and looked at the terrified face of Red Raven. “I’m powerful enough to fight you” she said, her confidence failing

It laughed once more “No…” zipping forwards it lifted her up once more “…you’re not” it finished ramming it’s vibrating hand into her chest. The Titans watched in horror as the life drained from the struggling girl’s eyes and then just as quickly Zoom tossed the girl’s body through the breach.

“If they cannot kill you… then I will” Zoom declared

Robin reached down to his belt and pressed a small button, in less than 5 seconds a yellow blur arrived behind Zoom

“I don’t know who you are but you missed Halloween by a few months buddy” Kid Flash said mockingly

Zoom turned at an unnaturally fast speed, “Wallace West”

The mocking look disappeared from Kid Flash’s face, “I don’t know how you know that but you’re going down regardless” charging the black suited speedster with a punch he found his hand caught in mid-air before he had even properly thrown it. Trying again with a barrage of punches, Zoom caught every single one with the palm of one of his hands. Wally became unnerved and sprinted around the speedster attempting to find a weak point that he could land hits but he found himself terrified as Zoom was turning in perfect time so that his eyes always lined up with Wally’s. Breaking out of his circle Wally dashed down the street further in the city.

Zoom laughed maniacally as he bolted after the yellow suited speedster, he was toying with Wally like how a cat toys with it’s prey before it kills it. Zoom would always stay a few feet behind him regardless of his superior speed, Wally began taking sharp turns down roads and even running along the side of a building to attempt to tire the speed demon out but Zoom matched his pace no matter the circumstance. Eventually Zoom sped up and ran alongside Wally grinning at the weaker speedster. Wally could feel himself beginning to tire and he stopped in the back alley of a street, “What do you want?” he asked, exhausted.

“A challenge” Zoom spoke with a laugh

“You already know you’re faster than me…” Wally replied weakly

“I am faster than you, but you can be much faster”

“You’re wrong?...I haven’t got any fast in years…”

“It’s because you hold yourself back, you are holding yourself back from power”

“You don’t know me!” Wally screamed

Zoom laughed deeply, “I know you very well”, reaching behind his head and pulling the leather mask from his face he grinned at Wally.

Wally stared in horror at the face in front of him…his own face, a few years older but still so much alike “H-how?”

“I embraced my power…you squander it to be part of a team” Zoom replied

“I use my power to help people! To help Barry!” Wally replied indignantly

“And what reward do you get for this help? Most the world labels you as a vigilante. Barry Allen is weak…he is faster than you but he too squanders his abilities, using his powers he could have been a god but he chose not to. That’s why in my world I took that opportunity from him”

Wally looked horrified, “You-you killed him?”

“I discovered an ability, one that even surpasses Barry. The ability to drain others of their speed”

“So…you stole Barry’s speed?” Wally asked in shock

“I drained him of every ounce of speed-force in his body…leaving him as a statue. A fate worse than death most would assume” Zoom replied, his tone made it sound like it was a fond memory he was recalling.

“You’re a monster!” Wally screamed

“And you could be one as well” Zoom replied with a sickening smirk, “I can show you how to siphon speed, to give yourself immense power”

“Draining an innocent person of their speed-force…Barry was a good man and you killed him. I would never listen to a monster like you…”

Zoom grew angry, snarling at Wally “I have been to many Earths, met many other Wally Wests and drained them of their speed as well…are you sure you want to be the next?”

“I’d rather die than be like you” Wally spat

Zoom put his mask back on and glared at his younger doppelganger, “So be it”

Wally bolted as fast as he could along any streets, Zoom following close behind him, cackling every time he would catch up to Wally. Wally tried to focus, he needed to think of a plan he could call Barry but if Zoom was able to beat the Barry Allen of his earth then Wally couldn’t risk him draining this Earth’s Flash. He could hear his communicator ringing and he tapped a small button near his ear, “Robin”

“Are you okay?” Robin asked concerned, “Is Zoom still after you?”

“Yeah” Wally replied anxiously, “he can drain speed-force”

“Oh god” Robin replied miserably

“Can Raven channel knockout spell on him or something?” Wally asked desperatley

“Yes, but he would need to be distracted and standing still” Robin answered for Raven

“Okay, get her to come to the corner of Charles St. I’m gonna try and distract him”

“On it” Robin replied quickly

Picking up the pace, he was glad that Zoom was still attempting to toy with him. Seeing Charles St he bolted towards the corner and pretended to trip over the curb causing him to stumble to the ground. Grabbing his foot, he held as if he had broken his ankle “Ahh” he screamed in pain

Zoom slowed down and began to stalk around Wally like a lion stalking about a wounded zebra, finally the dark speedster stopped and squatted down next to him “So weak…I see now why you couldn’t be like me…I am an exception in the multiverse” as he continued to mock the injured Wally, Raven stood on a rooftop nearby casting her incantation on him. He felt himself being overtook by exhaustion and he struggled to stay awake, Raven continued to chant the spell as much as she could whilst the dark speedster continued to fight it. A speedster’s healing properties and metabolism meant that he was recovering from the infliction even whilst she was casting it, he spotted her and laughed “It won’t stop me!” he shouted.

Wally climbed to his feet and stood in front of Zoom, “It doesn’t need to stop you…just to slow you down” Wally focused his energy and began to run around Zoom in a counter clockwise formation, after a few moments the blue lightning from Zoom began to arc to Wally’s body and each bolt caused his speed to increase. Zoom screamed in anguish as he felt his speed being siphoned quickly away from him, attempting to stop Wally he reached his arm out forwards to grab it but soon the arm remained stationery, just as the rest of Zoom’s body was. After a few more moments Wally stopped and collapsed to the ground in exhaustion, he felt like a monster for what he had done but in his head, he knew it’s what he needed to do. That monster had to be stopped…

“Wally” Robin shouted as Starfire carried him to his friend, “are you alright?” he asked immediately

“Yeah” Wally replied sadly

“What did you to him?” Robin asked in confusion as he looked at the statue like pose of Zoom

“I discovered I can drain speed-force, so I drained his to stop him” Wally answered, his tone still guilty

“You had to stop him somehow” Robin replied supportively, “how did you know that you could drain speed-force?”

“Because he can…” Wally replied, climbing to his feet he walked over to Zoom and pulled the leather mask from his face.

The other Titans stood in shock as they looked at their friend’s doppelganger, “You’re Zoom?” Beast Boy asked nervously

“A version of me…he killed Barry and stole his speed, that’s how he was so fast”

“If you have siphoned off Zoom’s speed…does that mean it is yours now, Wally?” Starfire asked

“I guess so…I do feel faster. Maybe I should tell Barry about this whole ‘siphoning power’ thing, I think he’d wanna know about it”

“Is he still alive?” Raven asked, examining Zoom

“I don’t know, Zoom said it was a ‘fate worse than death’…I think he might be still alive…” Wally replied

“Then it is a fate well deserved for his actions” Starfire declared, “if he has done this to others then this shall be his punishment”

“What are we gonna do with him? I mean like, what if he gets out of there somehow?” Cyborg asked anxiously

“Throw him back through the portal…the Tyrants can deal with him if he ever gets out” Robin answered, turning to Raven “Is there any way you could stop them from coming back here again? Like take this universe off the map or something?”

“I might be able to create barriers to block off our universe. I think I’ll block of theirs as well…just to be safe” she replied with a small smile.

The End

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Author’s Notes:

Another exceedingly long story, I’ve been wanting to write this for almost a year now and with today being Tyrant themed I thought it was a perfect time to do so.

Really hope you enjoyed it!

[ameliasnormandy]

Broken Joker

The three of them went on their way. Shepard watched the people that watched her. It was hard watching them watch her. Their faces weren’t right. They were angry at her. She couldn’t understand if it was that they were angry that she was wearing a helmet, or if there was something hidden in their argument. The three of them walked outside and that is when Shepard saw the beacon, but she refused to think about it, no there was Joker to worry about. Joker was something she could fix, and right now there weren’t a lot of things that she could fix. The world felt wrong, again. It felt like it had moved on, and she had stayed the same as she was. Nothing about her had changed, but everything and everyone had changed, but she didn’t want to think about that. No, she wanted to focus. Focus on Joker.

              There were no words that were spoken until they got to the arena. “Have they put VI into the system?” she asked.

              “No, not yet,” Miranda said, looking around. “We are working on getting VI’s up.”

              “Is that the best decision?” Shepard asked, looking over them, and taking a deep breath in.

              Vega stopped for a second. “Why would that not be the best decision?”

              “For the reason that the Reapers were built in the first place,” Commander Shepard said, looking at Vega. She didn’t know what they knew, and she wasn’t sure what she needed to tell them to make sure that the same thing didn’t happen again, but without ruining everyone either.

              Miranda looked at Shepard. “How much did you learn while you were there?”

              Shepard walked away for a few seconds, and then stopped herself. “What did you learn about my time up there?”

              Miranda shook her head. “I asked you first.”

              “I want to know what you know. I don’t know how much information got back to you. I can’t imagine a lot of information got back to you, but I guess it is possible.”

              “We barely know anything about what happened up there,” Miranda stated.

              “You have to know something,” Shepard said. She walked a little further from them, was about to say something, but decided against it until they were closer to her again. “You knew that Captain Anderson was shot by the Elusive Man, and I don’t remember telling anyone that during the fire fight, and the after math, so what happened? How did you know that?”

              “It’s a hard question to answer.”

              “It shouldn’t be. I mean there are only a few ways you could have done it, so just tell me how you did it,” Shepard said.

              “Please, not now,” Miranda said.

              “Alright,” Shepard said, and looked away from her. “You are right. I have to go fix Joker. Vega, will you inform both the rest of my team, and Admiral Hackett that I will be a little late to our meeting. Apologize for me and do your best to make sure that it is sincere.”

              “I am the king of sincere, Lola,” Vega said.

              “I would have pegged you for the king of crashes,” Shepard said, laughing.

              “You crash one shuttle,” Vega said, shaking his head.

              “That is all that you need to crash,” Commander Shepard said, walking into the arena. Miranda followed right behind her.

              “I will see you guys there,” Vega said, walking away. “Unless you think that you need my help.”

              “I think we can handle a guy with vroliks syndrome,” Shepard said, walking into the building. “Do you know where he might be?”

“No, but he shouldn’t be that hard to find, right? Look for a guy with crutches or limping around making bad jokes.”

“His jokes weren’t that bad,” Shepard said, with a smile on her face.

“You enjoy his jokes?”

“They brightened up the ship, and he made it feel like things weren’t as bad as they were,” Commander Shepard said, looking around the room. “Do you see him?”

“No, but I’m thinking he won’t be too hard to find soon.”

“Why?” Commander Shepard asked, looking around to see if Miranda had seen Joker, but Commander Shepard still couldn’t see him. She didn’t know if Miranda was seeing something that she couldn’t or if Miranda just knew something that Commander Shepard didn’t.

              “Because the main reason he got kicked out was because of you,” Miranda said, looking at all the people that were looking at her companion.

              “Me? What did I do?”

              “You died,” Miranda said flatly. “He didn’t take your death well.”

              “And without EDI I am sure that it made him harder.”

              “Some of us have debated that one,” Miranda said, looking around the room. “If he still would have had the breakdown he did if EDI was alive.”

              “And?”

              “Kaidan believes that he still would have. He said that he saw Joker after the first time that you died and that this was worse than that, and he was grounded the first time it happened. Vega believes he still would have, but it wouldn’t have been so bad.”

              “And you?” Commander Shepard asked, taking a few steps further into the room. “What do you believe?”

              “I don’t think he would have. I don’t think EDI would have let him.”

              “He really cared about her.”

              “He really cares about you.”

              “He was a good man, and a better friend, though I could say that about a lot of the men that I served with in my time as Commander Shepard.”

              “You still are her.”

              “For now.” Commander Shepard didn’t say anything for a few moments, and instead kept looking around the room. She looked toward the bar and that is when she saw him. “There,” she said, pointing to someone leaning against the bar. “That’s him.”

              Miranda didn’t question Commander Shepard, she knew that if Commander Shepard was sure than it was probably the truth, it was probably Joker. The two of them walked over to the bar. Commander Shepard leaned against the bar. “So, who finished that sludge of a drink?” Joker didn’t say a word. “Was it Cortez?” There was still no response. “Garrius? Wrex?” Still no response from Joker. “Come on Joker. I know it would have had to have been one of them. Unless, was it Javik? If it was Javik I will have to tell him that he should have laid off you.”

              Joker finally spoke, but he didn’t look over at Commander Shepard. “I don’t know who you are, but leave me alone or…”

              “Or you’ll what?” Miranda asked, rolling her eyes. “You’ll break a bone on us.”

              “No, he’ll just tell you jokes until you roll your eyes so far back you die,” Commander Shepard said, laughing. “You know one of my favorite jokes he told?”

              “No, what?”

              “How many humans does it take to fix a dormant Mass Relay?”

              “I don’t know how many?”

              “602. 600 to vote on it. 1 to ask an asri for help, and one to ask for a seat on the council when it’s done.” Miranda rolled her eyes. There was a slight drunken chuckle from the silent Joker. “There was one that Garrius told Joker that insulted most of the people on the ship, and the best part was Joker was the punchline.”

              “I was not the punchline, I was the set up,” Joker finally said, turning around. Joker froze when he saw who was leaning against the bar beside him.

              “My mistake,” Shepard said, leaning back just a little further. “Good to see you Joker.”

              “Who are you?”

              “You tell corny jokes to all the pretty girls,” Shepard asked, pretending to be upset.

              “I’m not looking for a hooker,” Joker said, and then leaned in to look at Miranda. “What are you doing with a hooker?”

              “She’s not a hooker,” Miranda said.

              “Do hookers wear helmets now?” Shepard asked.

              “What does she mean by now?”

              “Thank you, Joker. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being there for me when Thesia got destroyed and thank you for being with me during Cerberus thank you for it all,” Shepard said, looking down at him.

              “What new game is this?” Joker asked, glaring at Miranda.

              “No game this time,” Miranda said.

              “Stop fooling around.”

              “I still owe you dinner,” Shepard said, leaning just a touch into Joker. “I mean after all I did use you as bait.”

              “It can’t be.”

              “It is.”

“Commander Amelia Sheperd,” Joker said, breathlessly.

“You know I was sure no one knew my first name. No one ever uses it. Actually, I had a conversation with Doctor Chakwas about this exact thing and she said it was because she had too much respect for me.”

“It can’t be you…”

“I’m not a clone,” Commander Shepard said, probably a bit too loud. It seemed to loud to her. “Clones don’t have the same handprint or memories for that matter.”

“We saw it explode,” Joker said.

“I know, but I survived.”

“I can’t believe it. We left you.”

“I would have been upset if you wouldn’t have. You did everything right.”

“We left you,” Joker said again. “You were alive we should have saved you.”

              “You couldn’t have known that I was alive. You did the right thing, but this, this isn’t you, and this isn’t right.”

              “You’ve seen me drink,” Joker stated, looking at Commander Shepard.

              “I’m not talking about the drinks. I am talking about you, and this place. The last time that I heard you talking about a place like this, you said that you would never need it, and yet here you are, and more than that you are actually shooting things. What got into you?”

              “Your death. EDI’s death. All of the people that I thought would protect me and I would be with forever, just died.”

              “I used you as bait once.”

              “Yes, but you made sure that I wasn’t actually shot.”

              “Maybe, but I still used you as bait.”

              “You were doing it to protect…”

              “Myself.”

              “Everyone. You needed to use me as a distraction.”

              Commander Shepard shook her head. “This is the last thing that I wanted. I never wanted people to think so highly of me they forgot that I was just a person.”

              “A person that has saved the galaxy three times.”

              “And you have saved my life that many times and more. There is no reason for you to think that I am anything, but a person.” Commander Shepard looked toward the door of the arena. “Take a look Miranda I think we found their missing person before they did.”

              “What are you talking about?” Joker asked, also looking toward the door. He then saw what Commander Shepard had seen. “What do they want?”

              Commander Shepard looked at the Alliance soldiers and then at Joker. “They want you.”

              “Why? They grounded me almost a year ago today, I was discharged soon after that.”

              “What did they discharge you for?”

              “The better question is what didn’t they discharge me for. They wrote me up for about everything in the book, but they refused to call it a dishonorable discharge because of my service with you.”

              “I’m glad that I was able to help,” Commander Shepard said, looking away from Joker. “They should never have taken your ability to fly away. It is the one thing that you live for, and no one should have taken that away from you.”

              “It wasn’t your fault,” Joker said. “But I don’t know what they want they have been following me for days.”

              “I might have some ideas about that,” Commander Shepard said.

              “Jeff Moreau,” one of the alliance soldiers asked, looking at Joker.

              “No, she is,” Joker said, pointing toward Miranda.

“What am I not funny enough to be Joker?” Commander Shepard asked, giving Joker the softest of nudges. “Do you think you can fly me around the galaxy again?��� Commander Shepard asked, looking toward Miranda.

“Hell, yes, Commander,” Joker said, already standing up from the table and nearly stumbling.

              “I wasn’t talking to you,” Commander Shepard said, looking at Joker and then turning her attention to Miranda. “I was talking to her. She is after all Joker, the best pilot about to be reinstated into the Alliance Navy.”

              “I’m getting reinstated into the Alliance Navy?” Joker asked with the giddiness of a small child.

              “No, I’m sorry Miranda, you will probably be allowed to work with the Alliance, but you were never actually part of the Alliance.”

              “They are getting everyone back together?” Joker asked.

              “Most likely it will just be the humans, since it is an Alliance mission, but who knows who we might find on the way. So, what do you say Joker, ready for another adventure with me?” Commander Shepard asked, looking at Joker. Joker seemed a little upset about this, but decided that he wasn’t going to tell Commander Shepard about it until later. “But there are a few that haven’t agreed to it yet.”

              “Who hasn’t agreed yet?”

              “Well you were one of them, but I assume that you’re coming with me and Miranda…”

              “And the soldiers,” Miranda added.

              “Yes, and the soldiers that this is your way of accepting your new position. Miranda and Jacob are two more, and that leaves one, and I am not sure who that is.”

              “I know, and it’s not you were hoping it would be Joker,” Miranda stated, looking at Shepard.